The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 15 - All Guns, No Chargers

Episode Date: November 8, 2021

Charger Not Included, Gun Control, Armchair Mechanics, Premature E-Trackulation

Ready? Yep. You're on. Here. Biggest Problem In The Universe Hey! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe.

The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from nuclear power to golden showers. Does that still work? I'm your host, Nick Madsen. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. Hi, Dick. How are you?

Great. You're not famous anymore, Vito. I'm not? How does it feel? Your second 15 minutes is over. Those 15 minutes are definitely a gone. Now you're a has been now. Anytime you refer to that, people are going to go, Oh, when will you let that go?

It really is just like, Oh man, that's like ancient history. I'm like, dude, it was like two weeks ago. You're following me. I don't, why are you involving yourself? It's funny. I don't know. It's paying off in various ways still, though. How so?

Well, we're going to go on some podcast still. You still get a couple of those trickle-ins. Oh, yeah. Is my audio good? Yeah. Your audio's good, I think. And, yeah, I don't know. I talked to a guy.

Might have a project or something. Ooh. We'll see. Does the project rhyme with raw suit? Well, everyone's asking. That's been a discussion of sorts. But that one's going to be complicated. It's complicated.

The legal aspect of everything that went down. I think your situation is less complicated. Yeah. Yours is pretty much. I got hit. I got assaulted by a guy. Yeah. So what's the deal?

Mine is a man took away my right to wave a sign and who's responsible mine is like i got a media slurs me what are they allowed to say yeah it's the correction that was so bad the correction's really bad okay let's see who do you want you know who won last week i know it's not me i can tell you that right now shocking shut up those are great problems shockingly bad yeah problem uh nuclear phobia congratulations followed up a close second social malware yeah people complained that was like a ripoff of other problems i think people need to understand this show is occasionally going to have problems that resemble other problems you know something about the format yeah one of my problems they're like well that's

just social justice warriors from a previous show you idiot most a lot of problems fall under that heading they really no people want there's a certain uh segment of this audience that just wants forest fires one week tornadoes pennies and then nickels they want nickels the following separate problem you can't just say change right now they want every single uh when you try to do things when you don't get into the minutiae you might occasionally have an umbrella problem that incorporates umbrellas they want that to be there umbrellas stereos everything uh lg says oh yeah nuclear phobia social malware then public urination laws in the negative i noticed a time yeah i don't know what's going on you used to have negative problems what

are you talking about and they slowly dug their way out of the the negative column i'm the only one left with negative problems on the board you bring in dog shit like you want everybody pissing in public what's running around where's What if you really have to piss? You should have thought of that. You should have thought of that. What are you, like a child? Why don't you just let people pee in the bushes? Clearly we're okay with it as a society.

You just think if there's a law that allows it, it's going to be everything goes off the rails. Everything goes. Yeah, that's the rule. It's stupid. LG says, does Vito have no sense of smell? LG says, does Vito have no sense of smell? Smelling reeking piss in the heat already does exist in subways and streets, and it's grotesque. Got to agree with him there.

Look, I understand that the smell could be a problem, but we could have a deodorizer squad that we send around to popular urination areas, you know, just spray it down. You think that's okay. So more tax dollars. Or just, oh, you can be like just find a place that isn't like a, you know, a corner of the subway. I don't think you should be able to pee. How about if you can't pee on buildings? Okay. What if that was the You can pee in dirt. So I can take like a Dixie cup full of dirt and put it in the middle of the

street and then you go piss on that. Hey man, there's always a loophole. Catch me, i'm the ginger bread man uh kulu mommies says what is the p is sterile meme first google search the bottom line despite the rumors urine is not a sterile substance it naturally contains bacteria that render it a non-sterile substance i didn't know that i've been drinking my piss for years that's probably why you can use it as a fertilizer because it does have some bacteria in it but i think the point is that it's not like poo poo yeah it's not like poo poo you've got all sorts of problems p is not poop p is not poop dan says i'm too stupid

to understand dr kevin's problem but he's a pbr man so i trust him i'm voting it up okay uh who edelia says dark forest hypothesis says every civilization that survives is smart enough to hide from others humanity on the other hand keeps shouting into the void that we are here i don't know man do you think other civilizations i think you would want to find other buddies out there. I think every civilization has annoying people on the internet to talk about, like, what civilization should be doing. We as a civilization gotta be, we're here broadcasting, like, what are you talking about, bud? You're on YouTube. What are you talking about? What are you going to rein in the fucking x-rays or whatever we're sending out into space?

They've really got a lot of ideas. What are you, live in a sci-fi book well what do you call it he's constructing a dyson sphere in his head like this is a we're a markov level zero society and what we need to do but it's not happening we would just put more gold in the ionosphere it would attract his amulets yeah humanity on the other hand so a bunch of rock fuckers from another planet are gonna come here to fuck the guys who want to fuck rocks on this planet that's how aliens will go hey we're aliens what's up get out of here i know exactly who you are you are annoying guys on this earth too so fuck off go take all the alien guys here and fuck off to mars and the aliens are just

reading our message boards and all our annoying nerds and they're like let's just not go there yeah tell them we're here because these people are awful they're awful um adolf e newman says after defending cuties veto fantasizing fantasizes about becoming the next r kelly what do you think about that r kelly's just a great artist i don't see what the problem is yeah i mean i still like woody allen movies yeah so what's the deal you know some 14 year olds probably want to get no uh uh yeah i was having a big i mean he's fine he's buying bars now for what didn't they didn't they actually do the court case yeah i think so he's got like he's getting pissed on in in prison right now yeah uh bitter brian says great guests and great discussion might even re-watch this one

but i'm down voting because veto loves cancel culture well that's too bad i guess okay you're ready for new problems i don't love cancel culture no one no one does no one does but you have to define it reasonably, right? Nope. Nope. Oh, if a guy, like, rapes somebody, you can go, all right, we're going to take the Cosby show off TV because no one... No!

You can't do that! Do we have this discussion? That's hurting me! It doesn't hurt... I do not deserve to be hurt because Cosby raped someone. You can still watch the Cosby show. Go buy the DVDs. So what if Leonardo da Vinci was a rapist?

What if Alexander Graham Bell was a rapist? Everyone's getting telephones yanked out of their hands? No! It's got nothing to do. Send him to prison! You don't take away my stuff! The guy who invented the roof raped someone, so everybody's roof's gotta go! Those are inventions.

Practical items, okay? There are other black sitcoms you can watch like martin yeah like martin like family matters like hanging with mr cooper hanging with mr cooper there's plenty of them all right it's not taking away all blacks it's taking away my stuff on starring a racist or a rapist i have you can go buy his dvd collection i a DVD of Ghost Dead. So you're saying you're coming into my house and taking my Ghost Dead because Cosby raped somebody? What's the difference? We'll get into that some other time.

Okay. I'm overwhelmed. My problem is, I was going to bring this in last week. I'm glad I didn't. Gun control. Yeah. Imagine if we had gun control. Alec Baldwin wouldn't have shot that lady and we couldn't make fun of him for the rest of his life. I'm glad I didn't. Gun control. Yeah. Imagine if we had gun control.

Alec Baldwin wouldn't have shot that lady, and we couldn't make fun of him for the rest of his life, right? You know what would have happened? Yeah. Just imagine if you couldn't go around playing shooty shoot with guns, doing whatever you want, being totally irresponsible, not looking at the gun when you get it. Oh, somebody paid me to say this was okay.

I guess it's fine. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Imagine that. I'm a cowboy. I'm a it's fine imagine that cowboy i'm a cowboy check it out cowboy you're fired look everybody i'm i bet he was doing a trump impression while he's doing oh you're fired oh shit imagine that two people is the weirdest part it's weird uh you always shoot two people when you're playing around with guys shot the first one That felt good And then the second time he went alright Gun control would put a stop to that Would it?

Yeah because you can't be playing around with guns for movies Is this a joke problem? No gun control is very bad I'm saying Gun control is bad We wouldn't have Kyle Rittenhouse The right wing would not have their child soldier To watch the court proceedings of every...

Are you arguing in favor of gun control? No, I hate gun control. Alright, so you're being sarcastic. I like these... No, I like these things. I like that that's happening. I like that it happened. You like that Alec Baldwin shots some people because it gives us something to talk about? Yes, because it's a small sacrifice for me.

Almost non-existentent but the payoff of the memes and making fun of alec baldwin and knocking him off his high horse that he could never talk about how dangerous guns are again right okay wait so are you arguing gun control is good because it lets you make jokes about the guys who don't like gun control gun control is racist that's what i'm arguing okay gun control gun control is racist okay that's what i'm arguing okay gun control comes from the state slave codes that prohibited slaves from owning guns okay in the early days of this country did you know that reparations solidarity this is for my black brothers throughout time oh god we deserve rep we actually black if we're talking

reparations black people should all be given more guns because of how many guns they were prohibited from owning back in the... Two guns for every black person in America. Yes, two guns and whatever you want. And a mule. Well, I mean, I don't... What? The mule...

That's what the guns are for. You figure it out. Here you go. You get a mule's worth of guns your mules what we've decided mule is for carrying the guns right it's racist that would be a good way of introducing it as we have a mule with a cart full of guns we go see we made good on the promise okay i guess it is a good problem after all uh what is what is gun control i looked it up it's fucked gun control is an umbrella term that refers to laws and ordinances that restrict how law-abiding citizens can buy, own, or use firearms.

These vary at local and federal levels. You know how women always post those things with car keys in between their fingers? Like they're going to stop a rapist? Like Wolverine? Pull these out? Yes. That's because of gun control. We've got to give them some guns.

Just give them guns yeah they don't have to buy these little look it's a keychain but it's really i can fight off a guy mace yeah hey get it hey can you open the door to the house yeah give me five minutes i just got to find my keys and my okay this keychain of mace and knives and fake uh self-defense weapons i'm not hard anymore thanks for that yeah. Homicides, did you know this? 20,000 a year? From guns? Yeah, suicides, 25,000 a year. It would be much harder

to kill yourself without guns. I don't understand why this is... Is that a good thing? Well, if I want to kill myself... You want to get it done quickly and efficiently. I don't have to build a Rube Goldberg machine to get the job done, alright? I don't have to build a Rube Goldberg machine to get the job done. I'm probably in a bad spot.

I imagine if you go to other countries where a guy tried to kill himself and he's left horribly crippled, he'd go, I really wish we didn't have gun control. Yeah, I really wish I had a gun. I'd throw myself off that roller coaster and it ended horribly. Since pandemic, suicides have been skyrocketing. I imagine. So thankfully, guns have given these people

a way to deal with their crippling debt. Otherwise, they're going to have to pop too much fentanyl and go rough up some cops. And we all know what that leads to. They're going to pop too much fentanyl and go start problems with the police. And we all know what that leads to. What is that? They're going to pop too much fentanyl and go start problems with the police. And we all know what that leads to.

Leads to getting a statue in every park in America. Chain of bad trade off. Did we watch that in Legion of Skanks? That guy coming in bird pooping on the statue? Yeah, he had a water bottle of paint. Skateboards up to the George Floyd statue What an idiot Yeah I don't know

Or cool I don't know Well like I don't know man It seems unnecessary Which part? What are you protesting exactly? Well the The giant fuck you

Like the George Floyd statue To a lot of people Stands for fuck white people i don't know if you didn't know that yeah but they're pretty vocal about it i don't think that's why i don't know yeah they're very vocal about fuck white people i don't know if you've heard that memo some people say that yeah i never talking to those people i never heard george floyd say that okay so you're putting words in the man's mouth. No, no, no. Well, he's putting paint in his mouth. Putting paint in his mouth.

Problem is, everybody's got to use the same phone lines, you know? Okay. If you call somebody on the phone, you say something. Somebody else has to call somebody who has a totally different message, uses the same phone line. Yeah. That's how religious iconography works. Right.

There's all the same phone lines. Everybody's saying different stuff. You saw a guy behind a rock, and then the next guy goes guy goes oh you saw a guy come out from behind a rock and ascend into heaven after three days on the ground yeah that's how religions get started uh i would like to i would like to drive around with a gun in my lap my car fiddling guns around mounted on your car it would make exactly you know why i can't do that gun control gun control so i have to do bullshit that i don't really want like raise my car like that's pretty good but it's not a giant machine gun it's not a car instead of honking at someone to get out of the way you

could just take a few shots over the bow i have to have a girlfriend i have to be interested in cryptocurrency i have to do all these things i don't want to do because of gun control. Here's some stats for you. I feel like this has been a very emotional problem, but we're now introducing stats into it. Background check. In recent years, the FBI processed an average of 8.6 million gun background checks annually. By last year, the Bureau processed 13 million. Wow.

According to FBI data, the FBI, that's how many they got. The FBI never finished over 316,000 background checks in the first nine months. And that doesn't, so they're doing, it's doing nothing. It's going so slowly. It's doing nothing. They're just like, okay. No, they're just processing them so quickly that there's no way to. Yeah, no way to catch anything.

Right. This is a huge waste of time, Vito. It is. It is very not. Get you on a list. Right. Yeah. Just get you on a list.

And now that it's. What does the list do? Just you pay more taxes. You're a terrorist now. Well, now they know that the CDC is going after gun violence is a thing. Oh, yeah. I saw that. I heard you complaining about that.

Yeah. You know how, like, smart all the vaccine people were? Are? Right? Right. Right? Yeah. Now they're going to be like, the same smart people are going to put their overwhelming

intellect into gun violence. Can you? I'm excited. You excited for that? Yeah. Well, it's a public health crisis, clearly. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you think about guns? Are you pro-gun? Yeah, I'm pro-gun. You're pro-gun? I think you could probably have some... I don't know. I don't know what you do to stop all the school shootings. Maybe just educate people more.

How many school shootings are there? More than there used to be. Do you know that? Yes. Are you sure? Dude, I am pretty sure there are more school shootings than there were before. I would be willing to put $100 on that. What are the odds, though?

Like, there are probably more kids getting killed than, like, not wearing their seatbelt than there are school shootings. I mean, sure, but, you know, not wearing your seatbelt's kind of like, all right, it's a choice. Is it? Do kids have choices? Like, parents are taking their kids to McDonald's. More kids are getting crazy obesity problems than are getting shot. I'm just saying you could maybe try to, like, the schools that have metal detectors. I'm like, yeah, I don't feel too bad about that.

Yeah. I think it goes a little far. You see the schools where they have to have see-through backpacks. Yeah. There was one school where you're not even allowed. That's at Dodger Stadium you have to have see-through backpacks. See-through was one school where you're not even allowed That's a Dodger Stadium you have to have see-through backpacks.

Yes. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. So inconvenient. I had to walk all the way back to Why not? Because you can get a 3D ghost gun. No one

That's not a thing. Like they have them but like no I got a closet in this house if you open it ghost guns will just come falling out like an avalanche.

That's what they believe. All different Yeah Oh it's all my ghost guns Oh gee whiz And Alec Baldwin Falls out too Yeah

Blasting He's killing everybody Somebody died on the Indiana Jones set The new one? Yeah Alec Baldwin shot them? Well we're assuming

I mean who else Who else could it be? And they just had to Once you get the taste of blood They just had to stop Filming the new Black Panther movie because the lady in charge of it got hurt on set. Oh, no. Pretty sure Baldwin might have had a hand in it. Not the new Black Panther.

But yeah, no, it makes because if you give up all the guns and the government has them. Yeah. Trust the government, man. No. Good. OK, we can agree on that. Let's keep the guns flowing. Let's not stop.

There's no health crisis. Let's all agree on that. Fuck them kids. Right? Well, yeah, fuck them kids. There's been a school shooting. Fuck them kids. I don't know, man.

Do you think people should be able to own as many? Well, yeah. Yeah. I think they want, like, what? To limit the number of guns you can have? everything whittle it away they whittle it down from unlimited magazines to 10 to 3 pretty soon you could just have one bullet in there and you got to have your bullets separate in the house so if somebody comes over you got to get your magnifying glass out and put it together they want to have you have a micro stamp on the bullet that where it shoots it fucking micro stamps it meanwhile have the third of the country has guns meanwhile

baldwin's running around fucking plain shooty shoot he's out there just shooting everybody uh go kyle that's what i'm saying kyle rittenhouse guns yeah guns guns when you have kids in the house a lot of people aren't very careful about it. Good. Like a lot of kids kill. No. Because the kid finds a gun. They're like, I want to shoot it.

It's fun. I think you just got to be better with your kids if you own a gun, you know? What are you like, Mr. Mom now? I'm always reading some news story. It's like Toddler shoots five in the house and then himself. Because you hear about every one of those stories. They put them in there to sell ads to white women. That's why it's a huge overblown problem.

Yeah. It's synonymous with freedom of speech now with ghost guns. We've got to stop doing it. But you want some regulation. I think I should be able to build a nuclear bomb in my garage. Well, I don't think that's necessarily. That's what I think. Who do you want having a bomb? The US government?

China? Israel? Or me? Who out of these four groups do you think is going to be more responsible with their nuclear technology? Not you, man. Well, you think China's better with a nuke than me? I don't know, man. Who do you trust more? We've managed to go a long period of time without nuking anybody.

What's this we shit? The United States. My country, tis of thee. Who do you rank them? U.S., China, Israel, me. Who do you think would be your favorite to have a nuke and most responsible? Rank them. I think the U.S. has got a pretty good track record.

No, we're the only ones who've murdered people with nuclear bombs. We have the worst track record. We have the Alec good track record. No, we're the only ones who've murdered people with nuclear bombs. We have the worst track record. That means we're... We have the Alec Baldwin track record for two. Two murders. On purpose. But then we saw what happened and we felt really bad about it. These other guys are going to be like, well, we didn't. We've been celebrating it for 50 years.

Every fucking muscle dummy in America is like, yeah, well, we nuked your ass. Like, what are you guys fucking talking about? Just murder. We just murdered people on purpose i'm worried that china and brazil are like well how come we never got to do one you guys got to do two yeah i don't feel like that no you know i'm at the top no everyone give your nuclear weapons nuclear weapons yeah to the great dick masterson okay that's my problem that's what do you think thanks Masterson. Okay, that's my problem. What do you think?

Thanks. No. What's your problem? What's my problem? I didn't come up with a name for it. Oh, that's okay. We'll help you out. I want to say, I'll figure it out. My problem is, Dick.

Yeah. I recently purchased a uh samsung device for myself vibrator yeah yeah one of those samsung brand vibrators that they're flying off the shelves i got a little tablet right okay open the box you're all excited oh my new thing i can't wait to plug it in charge it up and use it yeah what's not in the box there's no there's no charger there's no charger dick oh yeah my problem is uh feature feature removal the the the mobile mobile what do you call it regression that our cell phones and our tablets and whatever else are losing features and we're being told oh no this is good this is this is progressive this is a positive for you and the world you don't need a charger for your thing because you already got one right don't you and you're like yeah you do but that's being

used for my other stuff what are you fucking oliver twist of charges multiple things charging up and then you lose those things and then also they make like ones that are a little better than the last one yeah they give you you want a cord for it right like a cord to plug it into the charger but i want it as short as possible they give you a one inch cord you're like what the hell what who is this for what does this accomplish like yeah so you can charge it in i'm like and not ever touch it dangle it off the wall so it's like hang off the wall like flip the stoop over if you want to use it while it's charging this is uh not it used to be you got a cell phone and they kind of understood they're like you got a whole kit dude it was

a thousand dollar fucking or however much it costs 800 bucks whatever you're paying for it they're like oh we're gonna hook you up yeah we're gonna give you a nice state-of-the-art charger you're gonna get some headphones maybe get a little strap there headphones we don't even not only do you not get the headphones anymore they don't even give you a fucking jack for the headphones they're like oh you don't need that you can just buy a 150 pair of fucking airpods you moron you're like no I have a car I have a 2007 Honda Element it has an auxiliary port from which I can plug in my current phone

and play music throughout my car you don't take women out with an aux port in your car do you what's wrong no man not everybody has a fucking new car I have a nice reliable 2007horse, and I love that auxiliary port. And if I upgrade my phone, I'm not going to have it anymore. I'm going to have to buy, like, a whole fucking Bluetooth interface thing to plug in.

You can buy a Bluetooth to AUX adapter. It just sits there and plugs in. Yeah, I don't want to do that. I just want to use the technology I have that works perfectly. Right. And there's really no meaningful reason to change it. Do you know why they got rid of the char meaningful reason to change it do you know why they got rid of the chargers or do you know why they claim they got rid of the chargers no the samsung galaxy s21 series does not have earphones or a charger plug in the box because samsung wants to minimize the impact our products have on the environment

so they're doing it for the Earth, Dick. How am I still surprised by this? How am I still surprised by these zingers? It's because you, the consumer, you love the Earth so much and we at Samsung deeply recommend... We know that you wouldn't want... Yeah, you wouldn't want that. You would rather that the Earth not be polluted.

No, they didn't say that. Yes, they did. More and more Galaxy users are making sustainable choices in their daily lives. No, they didn't say that. Yes, they did. More and more Galaxy users are making sustainable choices in their daily lives to promote better recycling habits, to support our Galaxy community in this journey. We are transitioning to the removal of earphones and charger

plugs, starting with the Galaxy S21. So they're supporting our journey, Dick. Isn't that great? The journey that we are all collectively not having a charger supporting my journey i'm so thank you so fucking much here's the fucking tablet that's got batteries in it and everything but this little the capacitor and the plastic yeah that you can recycle instantly so much technological trash but we really want to support your sustainability choices in your beautiful journey forward fuck you and uh

samsung chargers now available at new lower prices so you know you can still give us money for one if you don't if you're not on a sustainability journey you can still purchase a charger uh i mean again i'm not i'm trying not to be i need a product that's you're a buddy you're off the wagon i want a cell phone that's this big it has 10 headphone jacks it gives you even the wrong chargers yeah just threw we threw a charger in the box we picked it up from goodwill i mean if it fits it's gonna be a fucking miracle i wouldn't even plug it in yeah it's just in there to show you that we can smile and there's a kid in indonesia can dig through and try to get the copper out of it that's the kind of phone i want i want a phone that is deliberately polluting the environment at every possible step yeah see that's the worst part is

they try to convince you that this is what you wanted yeah but this is what you deserve uh not to mention remember cell phones used to be able to remove the battery replace it yeah no you don't want that no no no when your battery dies off we'll just slow your device down slowly as apple did yeah without telling you yeah and then you'll be forced to upgrade isn't that better isn't it great that we're taking the option away from you how about the the SD card slot? Oh, you don't want to upgrade your memory. Why not? Because you just plug it in once and then you never move

it out. I think so. Yeah, but if you need more storage, now you're locked into whatever model of phone you get. So if you get the low 64 gigabyte, because it used to be you'd be like, oh, I'll just get the cheaper phone. I can just get a bigger it used to be you'd be like, oh, I'll just get the, you know, the cheaper phone. No, no, no.

Because I could just get a bigger SD card. That's a sucker's game, though. Regardless, I would like the option. That's too much optimizing, man. I'm glad to not have to make these choices that you want to make. SD cards, fucking format on your Android thing. What about the headphone jack? You don't miss the headphone jack?

I got AirPods Pro. I love AirPods Pro. I love them. I like being able to use the nice headphones I have that still have a little cord. Keep me locked in. Keep it tethered.

I don't want to think falling out of my fucking ear. Yeah. Shouldn't I be able to make the choice as the consumer? If I don't want to adopt a new thing, do I really need to be bullied into it for the good of the environment? Yeah, but you have a charger.

I mean, they're not wrong. He's second charger. I always have more stuff that could be charged. You have two chargers, honestly. I have like two chargers, but I like lose one. Like I'll leave it in a hotel or something. Oh. And then that one replaces the ones you lose.

Yeah. Or you have like a shitty one and you want one of the nice like samsung fast charging ones yeah i upgraded i upgraded all my chargers uh only to find out that i got like the crummy one yeah the ones that don't like fast charge yeah yeah i have like a bunch of those now i got a fast charger and i went through and wrote my name on all of them so people wouldn't steal them even though i have power surges with other people's name written on them uh i was gonna say i think those things also burn out quicker the fast charging chargers and now they won't give you more of them because they're like you're on a journey you're on a journey and you don't need them fuck yeah i could only buy one apple only let me buy one on amazon

on the fast charging magsafe one more than. Oh, you couldn't buy more than one? No. And I tried and said, we already sent one to your address. You don't get another one. I'm like, well, then. So I got to pick between charging it in my sleep or charging it while I'm walking around? Dude, that's so fucking weird. Yeah.

It's worse than that. That's really bizarre. I can't even buy it if I want to? No. Actually, the chargers detect if you have two plugged into your house. And they only shut down. And they only shut down for security. And they come and they take all your ghost guns. And your ghost dad DVDs.

And your ghost dad DVDs. Which you shouldn't have because he's a rapist. I would like a charger fairy, like a Santa Claus, to come around every year and just take all my old cables and chargers out of my house and replace them. Upgrade them. With the new one yeah the new stuff go Santa and if I'm handing you again I'm buying some stupid phone plans

of clothes of what like 80 bucks a month which I got to pay you across two years how about how about I have the option how about I have the option to go on the journey or not how about I go to the store and they go do you want a charger you can get one or you can help protect the earth and i'll go just give me the fucking charge like a doll put your put like a box put your charger in here to protect the earth yeah and i'll go no no i want

i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure 90 of people if not all people would go now i want i want the charger don't everyone would do that don't make the choice for me. Don't tell me. Again, this fucking language. More and more Galaxy users are making sustainable choices in their daily lives. No, I'm fucking not. I'm not. And it's Apple people that are. It's not the fucking Android nerds.

Those guys are stupid and they will buy any of your shit. Fine. I came to you specifically because I can jailbreak this thing and put Super Nintendo ROM roms on it i don't want to sustain anything okay there we go i was gonna ask why did you need this tablet what are you all productive now you're gonna sit in your bath and write screenplays no it's video games productive on it i am okay i used it for i'll show you i've been uh storyboarding my comic it's gonna be great Look I got this tablet so I can be all productive How to install ROMs on the tablet I mean obviously

I'm gonna do that as well You don't have to The point is I mean if you really nail it down It's mostly the charger So no charger's not included Battery's not included It's bullshit Stop telling me how to be sustainable

They're gonna give you In a couple years you drive through McDonald's Charges not included. Okay. Bullshit. All right. Stop telling me how to be sustainable. They're going to give you, in a couple of years, you drive through McDonald's. They're just going to hand you your burger with no wrapper. Yeah. Because it's just, you know, you're on a journey. Yeah, you're on a journey. No. Here's all your food.

Open your mouth. We're going to spray it in you. Here's your nuggets Yeah Here's the scoop Oh motherfucker COVID COVID Stay back

I went For some reason I wanted a chocolate milkshake And I normally I've never got a chocolate milkshake But I was like I really want one Yeah

I go to Burger King They give me the paper straw And it's a miserable experience Can you imagine Sucking a milkshake Through a paper straw It feels terrible I hate paper straws

It feels awful They need to find A middle ground Between a straw Lasting in a landfill For 5,000 years Picking a milkshake through a paper straw. It feels terrible. I hate paper straws. It feels awful. They need to find a middle ground between a straw lasting in a landfill for 5,000 years and a straw lasting in your mouth for five seconds. Yeah. Make it. It immediately starts falling apart. 500 years. And you have like this wet.

It's like eating paper. Yeah. I don't like it. I hate it. Okay. Here's my problem. I did come up with a name for mine, unlike you. You're smart.

It's called when you get an email that says your item has shipped. Yeah. And here's the tracking number. And then you click on the tracking number and it goes to the page and it says, oh, we just printed the label. We don't have your item yet. Has not been obtained by the carrier yet. Yeah, the carrier doesn't have your item yet, but we printed the label. That's just as good, right?

Yeah. No. It's not. It's not. It is. No, it's not. Yeah, it expresses intent. No, it means that they printed a printer.

Yeah. It doesn't even. My item might not even exist. The what I wanted, the journey that I wanted to go on. No, the journey starts with the item being handed off to a man. Right. Who brings it to me. I think the journey starts when you print the label.

Well, no, because that's just me ordering. The label is printed by a computer. When I click order on the computer side, it prints the label. That's it. You don't need to email me and try to fake me out like my item is on the way because I just paid for it. I know that I paid for

it now and it's even worse because now I have to go check tomorrow. I add this to my list of bullshit that I have to do tomorrow. My 13 great feats now tomorrow that I have to do like Heracles of checking the goddamn

tracking website. Well, maybe I'll just leave it open in a tab to remind me that I have to check it tomorrow. I got 10,000 tabs. I can't read what any of them... Do you check your tracking information constantly? Yes, I want to know. I want to know. What are you ordering that you need to know

when it shows up? Chargers. Yeah, Charwell Chargers, of course. Okay, don't fucking try to big-link me like you're a Mr. Fucking Cool Passive Guy and it stinks just show up at my house basically when i order stuff i'm like yeah it'll get here i mean maybe occasionally there's something i really want to get on like something for the house you've given me anxiety

by telling me that the label is made and that there's no product that's shipped with it because now i don't know now is it jammed? Do you sell stuff on eBay ever? No. See, I sell stuff on eBay all the time. So that's why we're going to not make here. Are you doing this to people? Yeah, of course. What the fuck is wrong with you?

You're telling these people? I printed out the label. What are they? Who cares about printing the label? I'm going to send it at some point. Doesn't that give you, you know? No, that's like, oh, how did your date with that girl Go last night, did you score? Like, no, but I paid her a compliment

I just think We live in this society where everybody Expects everything to show up overnight Because Amazon with the two day shipping Why don't you just take a little time Think about how great that thing is going to be Fine, then don't send me An email saying, bam

Good news, your label has been printed when the label will get stuck onto a box if the thing ends up in the box when it goes in no idea no that could happen next week that could happen a month from now but just so you know the printing of the label is taking that's the most important part they're just they're giving you they're giving they're acknowledging hey you know we know it's still being worked on we're still here they're trying to disappear they're trying to tease you they're trying to get credit for nothing like a child with a drawing but it's like an adult like look like an adult posting a drawing onto twitter look at this fucking monstrous drawing. Have you seen adults post drawings on Twitter and they're not even artists

or anything? Oh, you mean me? Do you? I posted a little doodle up there the other day. What do you mean? Why? Why would you do that? Because I said I bought a new tablet and I got it because you can draw on it. Oh, your inner artist is coming out? I'm doing a little bit of I'm not terrible. I'm doing a little bit of i'm not terrible i'm

doing a little bit of like again i'm putting the storyboards together for my actual artist because it's hard to visualize a comic to me without doing the panels myself i guess it's funny because i said waiting was a huge problem for me but waiting for packages it might just be because i order so much garbage that it's not a novelty to many anymore but i think everybody does that i'm fine with the waiting yeah it's the hey check it out you're i'm getting this email going oh man this could be anywhere it's gonna show up tomorrow this could be at the distributing center this could be on the fucking mail truck right now heading to my house oh man it could be anywhere yeah it could be going cross country from kansas city wow new mexico right now or maybe it's coming by boat

or submarine indiana jones music is playing in my head. You know, it changes a little bit. You're watching the dotted line go across the map. This is going through Taiwan. It's like... It changes a little bit, right? What are these shipping services? You should do that.

That would be exciting is when you go to Amazon. The little dot starts starts off you're like oh where is it now stop it's in des moines when they do the indiana jones dvd yeah they'll probably do that they should and then we'll say i regret it it wasn't for an amazon yeah but when you load up the indiana jones movie it's indiana jones sleep at home yeah well he's bought his plane tickets all right well this is not there's no excitement at all here excuse me I mean I'm

uh that's you don't need to put every oh a shipping label has been printed probably don't need to email you about it we you know you could check in the system we peeled the label off yeah email alert it'd be great if I send you an alert like, we just bought printer ink. We're going to print it.

It's coming. We put the label on. Haven't smoothed it out yet. We put the paper in the printer. With the tape on the package. Here's a picture of me turning the printer on. Get the fucking thing in the mail. Don't tell me this.

Don't bother me with this bullshit. This is a sacred thing. Alerting. We used to. You just showed up in six to eight weeks. You're running home every day. Where the fuck is my package? If only I wish I knew where it was right now. Now it's.

Yeah. Here's the thing, Dick, is that this is very useful for guys like me who sell things on eBay because people are very stupid. Most of them don't question it. So when they go, I need a tracking number. I need a tracking number. I need a tracking number. I go, here's your tracking number. And they go i need a tracking number i need a tracking number i need a tracking number i go here's your tracking number and they go all right good and all the tracking number says is your label has been created i'm like i don't know why you're okay i don't know why this makes you

feel any better so it's stupid people again that have messed up a perfect i guess they assume that so i guess people are worried that their thing is not going to get sent and the fact that you bought the shipping label for five dollars or whatever it is like oh well then he's definitely gonna say he's not gonna just buy a label it's not an update right it's nothing for these people it's peace i already knew mind for the for the customer i already knew that you'd have to ship a put a label on it you're aware of that i was aware that i mean i had assumed you i had already done it actually so you're behind It's like if they sent you an email like, we have the product you ordered.

Oh, thanks. What's worse? A no charger or getting all these updates that it has in? I'm going to argue no charger. I deserve the charger. All right. All right, I hear you. Did you have a name for that one?

Yeah. When you get an email update. I don't think you don't try to Truncate these at all And when you get an email update For your shipping service I don't know Is there like a Premature ejaculation joke

You put in there Label Label Premature Premature label Label updates Yeah Shipping

Shipping label updates Yeah something like that Yeah Premature shipping label updates I'll figure yeah premature shipping label update i'll figure it out i'll figure out whatever you can do with the label okay okay what's your last problem my last problem dick is uh well it relates to another type of problem you know again i have this beautiful 2007 honda element yeah which i love love that car antifa's got their eyeballs they got my license plate number you know why because they want it because they know it's got excellent

storage space yeah i went to vegas i put a uh blow-up mattress in the back i slept like a baby it would say something else oh no i wish but here's the thing sometimes blow up sex doll no i have no idea uh here's the thing about older blow-up sex doll? No. I have no idea. Here's the thing about older cars. Occasionally, you've got to fix something on them, right? Breaks down, you've got a little problem. Sometimes you try to troubleshoot it yourself. You're like, oh, well, maybe it's a little thing.

Maybe it's a spark plug, whatever else, you know? Yeah, I know a spark plug, sure. Go to Kragan. You got any spark plugs? No. Okay. So what's great, though, is when you go online you're like hey this is happening in my car does anybody have a thing yeah somebody you know immediately

or if you know what it is you go on the engine blah blah blah blah these guys come in and they go oh yeah yeah you can fix that in 30 minutes with our with our fucking wrench and you're like no the entire engine is on fire like no no all you gotta do is twist the piston counter clock i could do it in like 20 minutes 20 minutes okay my problem is you could do it the armchair mechanic yeah the guys who when you go ah geez you know every part of my car is broken i'm gonna take it to the shop and they're gonna do it for 500 and they go ah you fucking idiot you could do that yourself it's so easy all you have to do is hoist the car up on a fucking chain and take the engine uh rebuild it from scrap i could do that overnight

with some super glue and some go-to just needs a little bit of elbow grease and i'm like okay guys like i have enough money to just have the garage like do you understand oh whoa i'm not saying it's not some sort of burden yeah the idea that i'm going to go in and for the sheer like what manliness of the operation well if your time is entire radiator worth nothing yeah if your time is worth nothing yeah and i'm like no i could like go make money in the amount of time that would you know i would be fixing the car. I'm not. I'm going to play Nintendo ROMs on my tablet.

No, I'm going to play Settlers of Catan on Steam. I could. But the idea is. Yeah. But these guys are like so, it's this manly car. I'll admit it. I don't know anything about fixing cars. I really don't.

Yeah. I've tried it a couple of times. You didn't like it? No, like I've replaced the spark plugs and then it didn't fix my issue. I'm like, okay, well, that wasn't what was wrong. Well, that's the worst. Yeah. Because those guys, if they're wrong, you don't get compensated for that.

No. It's like, oh, you can fix it in six minutes. Okay, what happens if that doesn't fix it? Well, that was what happened. Somebody's like, oh, it's the spark plugs, dude. It's the spark plugs. I'm like, okay, so I replaced all the spark plugs. I'm like, I probably fucked it up.

I didn't fuck. No, well, yeah, you fucked it up. I'm like'm like no i didn't fuck it up you dropped it in the fucking socket you know it was something else entirely socket fancy guy oh whatever the fuck car see that's the thing though right now there's gonna be people who are listening to this and i hate it because they're like car guys and go oh this guy doesn't fucking know anything yeah i don't know anything about cars and it's not important for me to know that. They think it's like you're not a man unless you can fix a fucking motor vehicle. Like, I have devoted hours. Is this still a thing?

Yes. Those guys aren't all dead? No, I wish they were. Wow. Okay, because there's guys that's like, oh, man, you can't even fucking. What, you take it to the fucking place to get an oil change? Yeah, they do it in an hour for 20 minutes. Actually, I have an extended warranty on my car. So I just say, I take it to the dealership. And they just do an oil change yeah they do it in an hour for 20 minutes like actually i have an extended warranty on my car so i just say i take it to the dealership and they just do an oil change

for you yeah wouldn't you rather get down you fucking you gotta go to the store buy the right oil get underneath and you're like yeah i could do it but it's just easier to not and just pay a guy to fucking do it and again i've invested my time into building certain skills from which i earn a living and at no point did i go well i need to devote hundreds of hours to knowing how to fix my car i can just pay a guy to do it for me so if that guy was having trouble like catching me mute to right or snorlax or editing a skillfully produced youtube video right right right right coming up with some classic jokes that you wouldn't say america laughing you wouldn't say like oh it's easy it's just to

go to a fucking protest and you come up with a clever riff on current events yeah the man that uh encapsulates everything that's wrong ironically and that cannot be sailed yeah without without stumbling i think most professions you understand that not everybody has your skill like as a graphic designer i don't tell people oh we'll just make a fucking poster from scratch and blah blah and you know just put it in photoshop and use the liquify tool and i go no i understand you need time to you know figure that out and understand it but mechanics seem to believe that anybody who can't fucking like rebuild i don't think it's mechanics i think it's guys it's just guys done it's not i don't think mechanics are out there trying to work for free no no no yeah it's guys who have like built

something or like fix their car and they're like yeah yeah yeah no i'm a fucking expert i know fucking everything and then they give you advice again which is wrong replace the spark plugs well that didn't fucking work and i took it to the place and i said it cost me 50 bucks actually you cost me extra money fixing a part that was fine because you i told you what was wrong you like came over to my house you look at yeah dude that's spark plugs i know because my brother had a car and this thing happened you're like fuck you you don't fucking know i had one guy i had one roommate once who was like a legitimate mechanic and he was great okay because he understood he's yeah you're right it is real mechanics to go yeah it's a complicated thing you know i could fix it for you i'm not going to tell you to fix it without any skills or understanding

of bringing into my business yeah he's like bring it to me and you can pay me american money and i fix it because that's because it could be we have to go through it's not your job you have a completely separate set of skills and I have a completely set of different set of skills and that's fine and I don't judge you because I consider my skills more manly or worldly relevant like oh what are you doing the apocalypse you the apocalypse? You going to do graphic design in the apocalypse? Yeah, probably. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to design cool signs for the fucking pig warlords. So people know, yeah, we're going to deposit their skulls.

That guy looks cool. I'm going to kill for that guy. You watch fucking Beyond Thunderdome. They had awesome fucking neon signs and shit that said live in the Thunderdome. All the people who looked lame got killed. Yeah. I'm going to be designing costumes with spikes and tires and shit. Everybody's got a position in society.

But the armchair mechanics, and these guys aren't mechanics. They really aren't. No. Yeah, yeah, I fixed a million of these, and you find out they fixed their cousin's go-kart one time. Now they think they know fucking everything about cars. I almost did this recently. Somebody said Raven, that girl that did Virgin Fest,

said her car wouldn't start, her batteries, anything. Like, what could it be? And I was like, well, it might be the alternator. And somebody said, your battery terminals might not be screwed in. Check. An hour later, she goes, oh, yeah, they weren't screwed on. Oh, she just had them sitting on the battery, not like tightened. Yeah.

Yeah. So you think that opening the engine is dumb, but there it was. Oh, they're all wiggling around. Two women. That's different because they're just like, yeah. Yeah. You're like, no, you have to turn the key into the ignition. Did you have the right key?

Yeah. Oh, you tried to use your house key. You have a different key for the car. That's different. It's the mail-on-mail mail-on-mail violence. Yeah, basically. This is mail-on-mail violence. The shaming of

why wouldn't you just fix it yourself? Bro, put some money up. I could have fixed it. Put some money up. You could have fixed it? I'll put $500 down right now. If you fix it, I will fucking double it. I'll double money up. I could have fixed it. Put some money up. You could have fixed it. Put $500 down right now. I'll double. If you fix it, I will fucking double it. I'll double it up. Fucking double it because I'm going to pay that anyway.

Probably more. Right. But if you don't, if you're wrong, if it wasn't spark plugs, I'm keeping that money. I'll take some occasional advice. Send me a dick pic. If it doesn't work, I'm posting the dick pic. Yeah. Well, that's a reasonable offer i

think i think so too uh okay mechanic armchair mechanics i feel like i feel like we could rank every armchair i do think we could because there's other armchair guys out there the armchair lawyering going around with the kyle the exciting kyle oh titillating it's that exciting because it's so boring it's i didn't even watch no no the case that exciting because it's so boring. I haven't even watched. No, no, no. The case is boring because it's like you chased a guy across a parking lot and he shot you after you yelled you were going to kill him. Yeah, but he went across

state lines. He went across state lines. Did you know that? Oh, I forgot. I forgot if someone goes across state lines you can do whatever the fuck you want. Anything you want. Every time I drive over the border to another state, immediately people start trying to beat the shit out of me and I go, well, this is out of my jurisdiction. What can I do? It's not my state. I went over the border to another state immediately people start trying to beat the shit out of me and i go well this is out of my jurisdiction i do it's not my state i went over the line state lines should be a fucking problem that is this is ridiculous and the worst part is that like i'm on the left so i'm fighting with all the other good leftists who are like well you're racist or

something or oh it's white privilege blah blah i'm like no it's an open we can't it was like when that uh remember when that black girl got shot by a cop and immediately it was like justice for what's her name kenosha williams yeah kenosha and then the video comes out she's in the she literally somebody and you're like guys this is why no one likes us. Because they look at the video and they go, well, I mean, I hate to say it. You know, I feel bad for this young girl, but. I mean, you don't have. If you're in front of a cop violently stabbing someone,

you might feel compelled to take a shot. It's the same with this Rittenhouse shit. If you got chased down by a mentally ill madman who's throwing a plastic bag of gasoline at you and grabbing for your gun wow i mean you might turn around and pop a couple shots up is that crazy is it true that his lawyer lawyer used the n-word defense yeah yeah he started off the trial dropping n-bombs hey man it's working i think the n-word defense works i think the lawyer is a. I think the N word defense works. I think the lawyers, I think the lawyers had a deal like trading spaces before the trial where they said,

I'm going to work for you guys. You do my job. And let's see if we can. Yeah, this'll be fun. I'll bet you a dollar. I'll bet the defense guy was like, I'll bet you a dollar.

I can get him life in prison. Yeah. And the prosecution says, I'll bet you a dollar that I can get him off. I'll double it up. Did you see the, the, the prosecution's own witnesses are like, oh, yeah, he said he was going to kill Kyle. I saw that. Why did you bring him up?

He must not care. He goes, yeah, he was trying to grab his gun. I'm like, these are your witnesses. These are the witnesses for the prosecution. They have to know. I mean, come on. He's not. He's probably like, well, I mean, legally.

I think the prosecutor knows. Legally, he's fine. But i have to do this or else it'll be a big riot is a show trial for all the dumb asses out there screaming state lines yeah it's just so all of them which it won't matter though because they're gonna go well he needs to have a trial he's have trauma if we do the trial and he doesn't get any jail time you're gonna be just as mad as you were before you're just gonna be complaining about something different. Guns. Yeah. So let's keep all the guns out there.

We want, I want a Kyle Rittenhouse every week. I want that kid to have his own line of everything. I want a Kyle Rittenhouse. I want an 18 year old on every corner ready to fucking lay down pedophiles all around. You kind of, you smiling crooked over there. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The second this fucking sniffing that girl. Bl of you smiling crooked over there blah blah blah blah the second this fucking sniffing that girl blah blah that kid should start his own company like what was that smiling kid the covington kid yeah that kid should have smiling joe's fucking

coffee and cigarettes and you guess it's just him grinning just you know the grin scene around the world now newman's own salsa except covington covington salsa tin coffee covington lemonade old timey if a native american man starts beating his drum in your face just take a nice sip of it you and him have something in common we do we both had slandered you both had uh percussion instruments shoved in your face surprisingly similar situation except he came out of that situation with hundreds of millions of dollars because he sued and i got a few appearances on a podcast because he sued yeah but his case i don't even know if i should comment on it but the thing is like oh his thing was it went on for longer

You know Than yours Yeah it was like more widespread And more Like he was actually getting condemned And part of the problem with mine Is that people are like You're awesome

Yeah that guy's awesome Yeah All the people on the right All your guys on the left Are like Why are you going on these Racist shows That's for my friends of course

Friends I used to respect you but then you would you never fucking respect me i'll talk like grouchy smurf yeah i used to respect you you know why are you going on tucker carlson did you i saw you on tucker carlson i hate fox news yeah it's uh i'm like you guys have never done fucking anything for me you're only coming out to be assholes now because i'm like finally having a little bit of fun I'm so I'm sorry it's fun I know the right is fun that's the problem with the left we're not fun at all and I keep

trying to explain that to these people I'm like listen we have to disown these psychopaths because there's a lot of guys on the left who are like yeah I don't know I think Dave Chappelle should be allowed to make jokes but they get beaten into the corner by all these well then you're not allowed to make jokes. Yeah. But they get beaten into the corner by all these. Well, then you're not allowed to work at my.

I'm going to tell everyone at your job. You guys unlocked all the fun. All right. Yeah. All the drugs, all the gay stuff. Women being whores. The left. The left spent 20 years unlocking the fun stuff.

Right. And then started stuffing it back in. Yeah. So now the right's trying to unlock some fun stuff like saying racist jokes saying jokes jokes jokes and smiling smiling in a non-smiling area what else are they what else is the right trying to just having opinions like having opinions having a discussion about having discussions people like that stuff I don't know

about this situation what what bathroom should transgender people use misgendered me an entire generation okay all right yeah we're fucked you guys run whoever you want in 2020 doesn't matter they all just give money to corporations either way

okay so what are our problems gun control I think that's going to be a big one although I don't know if I gave everyone's favorite reason for gun control you took a whole unique spin on it they prevent so many crimes imagine how annoying everyone would be

without if there was no guns yeah right imagine how up your ass because every cop will tell you they're afraid of getting shot when they pull someone over right so imagine how much worse they would be if they're not afraid of getting shot yeah they'd be complete assholes yeah everyone everybody how much does the government how much does everyone who fucks with your life talk about guns well that's been a big part of the written house thing is people are like well you know are you allowed to just show up and you know have a gun and if someone fucks with you you can shoot them yeah idiot yes what do you mean what do you mean what are you talking about well that doesn't seem fair why did you need to punch him you didn't need like

everybody's really living in this weird like idea well you know if you sometimes somebody says something you don't like and you have to violently assault them he should have shouldn't be able to fight back that's not right he should have rolled a saving throw is what i would have done and if you fail it should have handed his gun to this gentleman and they should have rolled a saving throw Is what I would have done Even if you fail it Should have handed his gun to this gentleman And they could have had a discussion You don't let us have discussions So we couldn't have even done that

Crazy Chargers are not included, Dick Chargers are not included Chargers are not included Gun control The preemptive shipping notifications Label alerts Label print alerts

Yeah The label has been printed The label has been printed. The label has been printed and, uh, armchair mechanics, armchair mechanics. Okay,

everybody, uh, go to biggest problem dot show to vote patron.com slash biggest problem. And I'll mention an exciting thing about the patron is that we will be doing a bonus

episode and we take problems straight from you, the patrionies. Yep. Patrionies. And, uh, we're going to be using your problems to doing a bonus episode and we take problems straight from you, the Patreonies. Yep. Patreonies. And we're going to be using your problems to put a bonus episode together. You can check that out at patreon.com.

And we're going to do that right now. Yes, we are. We're going to shut off the public stream, but we're going to record an episode with your problems right now. Should we do some voicemails? Yeah. Let's do some voicemails.

Hey, Dick and Vito. Problem this week is extended deadlines. Hey Dick and Vito Problem this week is extended deadlines They extend the deadline A day after You would have had to start it In order to be fully vaccinated At the end

Oh vaccines Is that a mandate thing I'll tell you I just lost one of my patrons Because he's saying What's up? That was it I said? Yeah that was not much of a problem there

One of my big time patrons is like My job might have mandates I gotta pull my support So Starting to rethink my whole thing on vaccines Oh what because he was angry that you supported them? No no no just because he's like I gotta make sure my money's all set

Oh I might lose my job. You have concerns, too, about vaccines. He shouldn't. The worst time is to pull your support when you need the money. That's the time when we need it the most. I think he's like, I don't know. He works at Amazon.

I'm like, dude, Amazon's never going to do a mandate. They make too much money. Yeah. No way. They would not fuck with their workforce at all. Unless Biden makes a law, which I don't think he can can but osha can that's a problem with all this bureaucratic shit they can push it through any which way because there's all kinds of organizations that exist outside the law too big though and they could just go fuck you i don't give a shit yeah

they could shut off the cia's computer yeah if they wanted to and you'd be like yeah you know what all right we're gonna shut down all shutting down shut down all yeah if amazon went on strike like the whole world would shut down huh yeah they're kind of responsible for well that's good yeah uh okay let's see here here we go here's a familiar voice this is your boy the macho weatherman and this is how i talk wow i'm coming in like a cold and have to pick a bone with you baby boy master wow oh man and i'm bringing in Wow. Wow. Oh, man. Oh, he's a brand.

He's the Macho Weatherman. He's the Macho weatherman. He's the macho weatherman. Oh. So he's saying that... That's to take it down in shame. Raise the king of my low-pressure pulverizer. Low-pressure pulverizer. It's finally a weather joke.

The only way to prepare is to go fuck yourself. His problem is that by putting Macho Weatherman on the biggest problem site, that it is driving seo away from his own his own brand macho man theatrics yeah uh i think macho man is the elvis of our generation uh everyone's trying to do an impersonation yeah and i want them to go more like all the way yeah like have macho man conventions They should That would be great

Yeah Macho man's marrying people Oh brother Oh When I get you in the room I'm coming in Okay here's another one Hey Dick

Hey Vito I was listening to your episode From a couple weeks ago And While I agree with the problem Of console stuff Okay To install I'm gonna have to wholeheartedly Disagree with your statement While I agree with the problem Of console stuff It's shitty to install I'm going to have to wholeheartedly disagree with your statement

That PCs are a pain in the ass I mean Console and all those They always have more problems Than PC anytime you release a game Consoles always have more problems Than a fucking infinite variable PC Okay Don't have to worry about fucking running out of hard drive space Consoles always have more problems than a fucking infinite variable PC.

Okay. Don't have to worry about fucking running out of hard drive space and buying like fucking new hard drives and you have to switch them out and shit. Like, no, they all just connect. You can have like. Dude, I have so many problems with PCs and like. So, yeah, man, I don't know what you're talking about. I spent forever trying. You don't know what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about a fucking computer that could go at any moment. Any number of things could fuck up in a computer. And also, yeah, because there's so many. At one point, I really was like, I just want to run Skyrim in a window. I don't want to run it full screen so I can have my other monitor have Discord chat up or something.

It's a computer with one manufacturer. What do you mean it's it's not better of course it's better considering i spent like three hours trying to figure out how to get skyrim to run on a window because i don't think it does it normally i think it was skyrim you have to like install some hot fix that some kid modded together whatever i'm like yeah i could just be playing this on my playstation yeah uh you at least got to give me that the pcs are a pain in the ass and they're not connected to the television Yeah

Oh but do you know about Steam? No I don't To transfer and stream it And then when you stream it from the stream link You start buffering the shit and it looks like shit I kinda want that Steam handheld though I was thinking about that today Yeah

You seen that thing? Uh yeah I looked at it and I said don't care it's too big but i'm on a don't care kick you don't want stuff i don't read about things that i want nope i'm all excited for the uh analog pocket which is coming in december what's the what's the game boy that runs all the stuff what's all the stuff well it right it will run game boy and game boy advance and then you can get little things to plug in to run Neo Geo Pocket, Game Gear.

Oh, my God. It'll run TurboGrafx games on it. And it's by those guys' FPGA technology, so it's like 100% compatible. I just want a new way to buy Mario. Where can I buy it? Can I play it on a fucking table? Can I play it in rice?

No, but this I can use the cartridges I already have So I'm not buying a new thing Oh, wow I loaned you the retron, did you even plug it in? No, I haven't plugged it in I do, I want to, but you gotta understand If I plug it in, it's 10-20 hours Gone

You're gonna play 10-20 hours of Mario? Over the week, yeah. Sure. Yoshi's Island. All right. You get punched out, dump a bunch of money into it, and I say, why did I do this? Why did I do this again? Okay, let's see here.

Hey, Dick. Hey, Vito. What's up? I just want to say that uh your biggest guest or whatever like dr kevin or whatever the fuck his name is like he's 100 right about the whole nuclear shit oh he oh really yeah i was even uh camping over in arkansas right and it's a big ass like nuclear facility i asked him about it and it's still in the 70s, but yet they provide free, carbon-free electricity to everybody in the area.

And I'm not going to fucking pet you. Good. Fucking cat. But no, I mean, like... You don't have to narrate everything that you're doing on the call. You just ignore it. The thing is that the people who have died to nuclear power plants and

like is extremely low in comparison to all forms of energy uh and like and their production falling into the coal mine that have even occurred with wind power even with solar that are more than even uh nuclear and what gets me even on top of it too with all this stuff is that it's mostly spearheaded by the by the Green Party I guess the Democrat Party but especially the

Japanese the Japanese fucking hate it really look at Miyazaki and everything his whole shit he was just like I don't know what that is fuck off dude Look at Miyazaki and everything. His whole shit, he was just like, it's going to kill a bunch of people. I don't know what that is. Fuck off, dude. Just because they suffered a couple of bombs.

But the thing is that with the nuclear power is that there is even newer forms of technology. There's nuclear fusion that they even discovered, which they need to research more, which produces zero waste that's what was in Spider-Man 2 I'm pretty sure

I think they said it could produce dark matter or something like that this guy has no idea what he's talking about why not do more oh yeah that's right I like that he's like we just dark matter it generates dark matter

I like that he said we just discovered fusion I'm like no it generates dark matter I like that he said we just discovered fusion I'm like no It generates mystery matter We named it that because we don't know what it is It generates that I know a lot about that Well thank you for your call Thanks for your call

I have a feeling that guy could really get warmed up I think that guy has a real background in nuclear All sorts of things Okay one more I think that guy has a real background in nuclear, all sorts of things. Okay, one more. I got a fucking problem. It's no excuses at any time. I was out fishing at an abandoned dock, and it says no fishing,

but I figure, oh, that's for the people swimming. No one's swimming today. It's too fucking cold, too fucking windy. I'm fishing, and no fish are biting either for those exact same reasons, but regardless, I'm fishing there. No fishing at any time. Because it's an exception. Nobody's swimming so I can fish, right?

Apparently not. No, no fishing means no fishing ever. Fucking stupid. Did someone yell at you? Every rule has its exceptions, I'm sure. You know, you can kill a guy if he's that bad. Yeah, Alec Baldwin can kill whomever he wants. It's a fucking problem.

He gets a pass. USA, nuked. Two nukes, me, zero. But you're not allowed to have a nuker. Alec Baldwin, two murders, shootings, Trump, zero. Did you ever read the story of the kid who was building a nuclear bomb in his garage yeah it's a good story it is i mean all the americanum out of the smoke alarms see that kid's a fucking hero yeah he should uh ghost nukes all right everybody uh let's check

out the chat oh yeah yeah here you go whoops and dick has screwed it up. And we have a couple super chats coming in from Rich F with $5 says, I bet money that Vito doesn't know how to use a ratchet strap. I've used a ratchet strap. Describe it. It's the wide strap with that metal thing that you What do you call that? Back and forth on it.

What is that called? A ratchet, I assume. Wait, am I wrong? That's a ratchet strap. No, of course you're right. Yeah. With a metal thing. What would the metal thing be called? I assume a ratchet.

Yeah. Okay. Do you know what a ratchet is? Well, I know I have like a ratchet, like a wrench. Do you know what the mechanism of a ratchet is? I understand they have the same. I don't know how it works exactly. Could you describe what a ratchet is?

Does it have like teeth to catch or something? Okay, yeah. You got it. You don't need to be shy. Well, I just. If you're going to get it wrong, get it wrong hard. You know, I'm not going to give you partial credit. I couldn't explain the exact.

I would have to, you know, look at a thing. I'm very. You get teeth in there. The teeth catch on. You got it. Whatever. You got it. I'm not going to give you partial credit. I couldn't explain the exact. I would have to, you know, look at a thing. I'm very, you get teeth in there. The teeth catch on. You got it. Whatever. You got it. I'm not an asshole. All right.

Some people would be though. They go, this guy doesn't know the exact torque. You got teeth. Yeah. You got teeth. You figure out the rest. That's all you need. Is that a pop quiz?

Yeah. Sorry, I'm wearing the wrong glasses. Poop is not pee, he says. Poop is not pee p for 4.99 we have shinshan 25 says let's be very honest veto's problem with fixing cars is projection he just can't fit under the car dick has the best slash worst problems what do you think about that i would need to jack the car up to get under it but that again that's another like you know a period of time i don't want to deal with and then you gotta worry about it falling on you wouldn't

you just rather take it to a garage and they can get under it they got a whole platform or whatever yeah uh we have the wonderful jay hawks dx with wow 49 99 keeping the show alive thank you very much says here's some money i've been saving up for new york in the coming two weeks thanks buddy upside down smiley is that a reference to something is something happening in new york um i have no idea i don't know but we don't know if there is thank you for giving us the money you were saving we have wet band at two dollars when are we getting sean on the show sean is expressed and no no don't tell him for two dollars okay never mind answer everything we're reading it and you don't get an answer for two fucking dollars when sean when sean coming in here's two bucks but thanks for the two bucks we'll give you the actual date how's that uh robert

pickle snickle for ten dollars says the biggest problem is obviously that that dude is still working at netflix i'm gonna make a video about this guy joey cristali big violent glass joe i gotta check back in with the lapd because i assume that they took my complaint and tossed it in a pile murrish is a jerk or both of those uh no there's another one hold on there's one there it is yeah all right we have justin gomez pick my damn problem from discord for the bonus episode well if it's a good one maybe we will yep okay bonus episode now bye guys