The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 151
Episode Date: August 13, 2024Too Many Jedi, TV Episodes Without the Main Character, Bad Hecklers, Body Shaming...
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Guys is the biggest problem episode 151.
Again, my guess is the world famous Tony from actor movies who has
conspired to ruin my life by pitting me against a black gentleman.
I had no interest in fighting with, but of course, Tony had to
make it into a big thing.
We're complaining about him.
I wouldn't have done that joke call, but also I didn't expect the joke
call to really take off.
I did save that episode.
Your friend sucked in that episode. Oh yeah that's true. What's his name? Eric evolution
Eric Escobar. Yeah that was like one of the worst guests you've ever had. He was terrible
like some people like that guy. Nobody like nobody remembers him. All they remember is
me shitting on you and then all the air I dropped was starting. All right. The audio
should be better now that I've turned off my speakers.
So you're not going to get the insane echo anymore.
How's that?
That's smart of me.
Uh, well, you know what you did save the episode and we appreciate that deeply.
Uh, it's been good to, it's been good to have you around.
You know, I guess this is the, I'm sorry.
This is the first episode you get to be on is a makeup episode that everybody's upset about and complaining about. But at least you're here.
At some point in studio, I have to call you gotta be in studio. You gotta come on out to LA. It'll be a good time. A lot of people are asking last night we stream. So Sonic people are asking where are the Sonic the headshot video.
asking where are the Sonic the headshot video you were telling me before the stream. He's going to make up an excuse, but he said, I can't live with the fact that I'm bad with Sonic.
I'm bad at Sonic.
So I deleted it out of shame.
That is what Vito said.
It's more that I ended up playing some games and I was worried that they might get clipped by you like struck by YouTube for sensitive
sensitive content. But we'll see. I don't know. He said I
purposely played lowly games so I would have an excuse to
delete the stream. That's what he said. That's what he said. I
wasn't planning to delete the stream but I did. I did get
worried. Here's the thing is like I wouldn't normally be worried, but remember,
Dick got his entire channel banned for just like at one point,
it didn't didn't get a strike because those kids remember those kids
hit a guy with a car and dick like talked about the news story
and YouTube was like, oh, well, that's you know, something with
miners or it's like you're endangering, uh, the minors.
I think I remember him.
He also like played that.
He played that clip of a trans transformer.
And I know he got something from that.
Yeah.
So he, you can't, you like, I don't know, man, I just get scared by YouTube.
We're going to get, we're eventually the show we'll get banned from YouTube.
And why would I, uh, try to make it happen any quicker
Anyway, let's let's get right into it. I don't have any comments cuz that's dick's job, but I do have
You could have told me hey, can you find some funny comments from last week? I would have looked at
Some now. I don't know now Now as the show is going on, you
want me to do it right now. You want me to do your show, your show prep as the I tried
to explain that there's, I'm not prepared for this. Here's the thing. I was under the
impression and I talked to Dick and he said, uh, what do you call it? Tomorrow we'll do a show and it'll be great.
And I said, okay, great.
Tomorrow we're gonna do a show.
We'll do a show at, what do you call it?
Dick's house.
And then that didn't happen for some reason.
And I don't know, again, Dick will explain
whatever the hell happened, but he was away today as well.
So we weren't able to do that.
So we're gonna do another different segment.
And I think this one might actually work. Let me see.
Present. Share screen. What is a favorite segment everyone loves
called voted up? Why would I want to see that? Just? Let's
see. Well, add it to the stage. Yeah, okay, whatever
That's not it at all
You have any of these lined up before I'm not supposed to be doing a show today
Made up your mind
You made up your mind! And I was just an angry and so living off minimum wage
Saving for an AR-15, something to unleash my rage
I thought I'd punish the whole world, I'd kill the blacks, the Jews, the gays
That's when I went and stumbled on the biggest problem YouTube page well
who'd have thought what made me smile was a Mexican and a pedophile but now
I'm not a cock and all I want is to vote it up
vote it up now, baby.
Vote it up folks.
Well, at least we're doing that.
Right.
And it's the segment where we revisit past problems and put them in a new light.
Okay.
What do we got?
You know, this, uh, segment, Tony, are you a fan of voted up?
I love voted up.
It's my favorite segment in the world. Wow. I'm very
excited to be doing it here with you. Uh, now this is a problem that I think both of
us would understand very deeply from episode one. Oh, eight. It's the problem of restaurants
skimping on the meat. This is when of course you go to a restaurant all excited to get your burrito bowl or whatever
else. And the next thing you know, they're they're barely
putting any carnitas in there. There's no steak. There's no
chicken. It's just beans and rice all the way down.
Oh, that sucks. I mean, I cook like meals at home. So I don't
really experience this a lot, Vito.
meals at home. So I don't really experience this a lot, Vito.
Wow. I don't believe you. Let's see here. According to TikTok users, they have been going, videos have been going viral
with TikTok users devising a variety of viral tactics to
protect protest what they say are skimpy portions from Chipotle.
These include walking out of the restaurant without paying and filming workers with the
belief that by doing so, the workers will be shamed into giving them more meat.
Well, that's just great advice from TikTok. Vito, you should follow that advice. Put it
on TikTok. Let me know how it works for you.
Well, now I have to do a verification puzzle apparently. Okay. Add to stage. This is what
is going on at the Chipotle. Here's what the kids are up to these days. They're going in
there and filming the workers to make sure they get as much meat as they can. I don't
know. I kind of get what they're saying. Let's take a look. the workers to make sure they
get as much meat as they can. I
don't know. II kind of get
what they're saying. Let's take
a look. I guess steak. He's
asking for steak. Mm hmm. A
little bit of steak. What what
what what is that? What is the
point? Why? Okay. Look at how
it seems like a healthy portion size to me, Vito. I don't understand the problem.
It's healthy, but like, don't you know if you're making it,
that's they're going to see you dropping pieces of meat out of the
spoon.
Now that guy, that guy is trying to stop the obesity epidemic in
this country.
You know, that guy doesn't need that much steak.
He's a hero, but the Chipotle guy is fucking around with him because look, now he's dug the whole spoon in like
deep into the pot and let's take a look. It's all the way in there. Look at all that steak
on the spoon. How much is he going to come out with?
That was really funny. That guy's just mean. That was really mean. That was fucked.
What was that? Why would you do that?
Well, Chipotle has actually responded to these viral TikTok videos.
Again, people are just walking out after they do this.
They say, we don't want it.
Chipotle says there have been no changes in our portion sizes,
and we have reinforced proper portioning with our employees.
That's from Lori Shallow, the company's chief of corporate affairs and food safety.
I think she's lying.
I think they're telling them, listen, going deep with the spoon and then just like,
there we go.
What?
Yo, they do do that shit.
When I was, um, I worked at a Pier one when I was like in my early 20s
I used to have to wrap up like the ornaments and stuff and like paper and like there was like a paper shortage and they're like
Only do one piece of paper for these ornaments unless they ask specifically and like these are going to shatter
Uh, and sure enough I got yelled at all the time
So yeah, I can totally see the company saying like uh only do like pretend that you're doing three scoops, but really only put one scoop worth of meat on there.
There's a lot of, uh, there's a lot of messing around, I think.
And, uh, they're claiming, they're claiming each Chipotle.
They give them, you know, proper guidelines or whatever, but I think there may be a memo out there.
Uh, regardless guys, restaurants skimping on the meat currently number 254 with 287 up votes
Don't forget to vote it up and um, if you know again a solution
You could just go to the grocery store and just buy as much meat as you want
Like okay, it's not just meat
Also buy beans at the grocery store
the Now, here's another classic problem that I think people know and love from this show. It's a problem called Boycott of the Week.
Oh yeah, what are we boycotting this week?
Well, Tony, it turns out the Republicans or the Conservatives or whatever you want to
call them are upset yet again.
And this week, they're going to boycott...
I should have had a multiple choice question.
Okay.
Let me see.
It's either a Arby's be Taco Bell.
See Dunkin Donuts or D in and out.
Which one do you think it is?
In and out incorrect.
It's Dunkin Donuts.
Oh, what's Dunkin Donuts doing? was in and out. Incorrect. It's
Dunkin Donuts. Oh, what's Dunkin
Donuts doing? Well, the chief
executive of Rumble, Chris
Pavloski has told. I'm still
not verified on Rumble. I'm
very upset about that but keep
going. Chris is **** around has
told his followers that uh a
very unfortunate thing has
happened. Dunkin Donuts refuses to advertise on Rumble, a site which prominently
features conspiracy theorists Alex Jones and Holocaust
denier uh what's his name? Nick Fuentes. And it's also where
you can get my Godzilla podcast which was kicked off YouTube
for no reason. I can't believe it. Here's Chris. Wait, they
kicked your Godzilla podcast off YouTube? Oh reason. I can't believe it. Here's Chris. Wait, they picked your Godzilla podcast off YouTube. Oh dude.
They straight up deleted it with no warning or strike or anything.
Just one email. Your channel is gone. That's crazy. That's man.
See YouTube. I should have brought in that a what's her name. Susan.
Well, Jickey's dead, but I don't know if that's a voted up. Yeah.
People are celebrating. I'm like, but she hasn't been like she already did the damage.
I don't know what.
Unbearable silence of our tech overlords problem.
I think is that YouTube never YouTube doesn't let you talk to them.
They don't let you whatever.
Anyway, Chris Boblinski says both diajago, which I guess makes alcohol
and Dunkin Donuts want us to drop Steven Crowder and get away from
right wing culture in order to get ad dollars from them. Well, that's not really what they say. They don't want us to drop Steven Crowder and get away from right-wing culture
in order to get ad dollars from them.
Well, that's not really what they say.
They don't want you to do anything.
They're just saying,
we're not gonna advertise on Steven Crowder.
We don't want to.
And I think here's what they said,
and you can't read it because you made it so small,
but he basically said,
no, we're not gonna advertise on Alex Jones.
It doesn't really fit our brand. Doesn't make a lot of sense. This has led of course to
many conservative commentators say we need another Bud Light situation, including very
popular commentator, Cat Herd, who says, so companies like piece of shit, Dunkin Donuts. Piece of shit.
I like Dunkin Donuts.
Are boycotting Rumble and X unless they drop all the truth tellers.
Anyone tired of this bullshit?
I'm calling on everyone to bud light Dunkin Donuts.
God, it's so cringe the way they now refer to everything.
Oh, we got to bud light these guys. We're going to Bud Light these guys.
Seriously, companies like Dunkin' Donuts think they can bully us.
And what I'm asking you tonight is to stick together and turn Dunkin'
Donuts into Bud Light.
Jesus Christ is the only thing you guys have ever accomplished.
Boycotting Bud Light.
And it didn't even work that well.
It bounced back.
Bud's fucking stock came back. Yeah, I know cuz I bought a few shares when it was down
Yeah, I should have bought I remember being like this that I didn't buy a shit
Donuts loses nothing from not advertising on rumble. That's the okay rumble makes no sense
Do you really think that the hoof on rumble?
There's no one on there.
Okay.
Half the users are fucking a fake and you're just advertising in between.
Like you're advertising the guys who are buying gold Trump coins.
Like anytime I go on there, they're like, you got to buy this limited edition
gold Trump coin.
Yeah.
I don't know how you boycott dunk.
They're like the biggest donut thing in America. Like
I've never seen a Dunkin Donuts in the morning that wasn't
packed. So I don't think this boycott is going to work. Well,
see, it worked against Bud Light because it's like any
piss beer tastes the same as Bud Light. It doesn't matter.
You can go drink literally anything but Dunkin Donuts.
It's like, well, are there a bunch? I mean, if there's another donut shop in your town, maybe. But most guys who are going off work
at 8 a.m., I guess. Yeah. But most guys at 8 a.m., I remember, you know, you go through
the drive through, you get your coffee in the morning. You're not really thinking about,
oh, but they're woke. So I got to drive to their fucking coffee place. It's a completely
different thing. Anyway, if you have any fight left
in you guys, if you have any fight left in you, Cat Turd wants you to know hashtag boycott
Dunkin Donuts. But this again is only if you have any fight left in you. I know some of
you no longer have any fight left in you. What is the right's obsession with trying
to get everyone on their side to be concerned over bullshit that doesn't matter.
Like Duncan, who Duncan Donuts advertises with and women at the Olympics and Disney remakes.
They're obsessed with getting us to care about this shit and I don't care about any of it.
They're going absolutely nuts. Did you see uh uh they're going at Joe Rogan?
Because yeah I can't I kind kinda like that RFK guy.
You have to vote for Trump. If you don't vote for Trump, we're going to boycott Joe Rogan.
I've been fucking anything and he's definitely saying this for a while. They, they made fun
of SJWs for years and learn nothing from them. They're just now they're just using their
tactics like when a comedian would say a joke that was kind of edgy and everyone would start
calling them racist. And so that's how I feel like what they're doing. I tactics. Like when a comedian would say a joke that was kind of edgy and everyone would start calling them racist.
That's how I feel like what they're doing.
I'm like, you guys are just doing the same thing.
This is so cringe.
It's so bizarre that Trump should be.
Did you see some polls have Kamala Harris winning right now?
And I go, you guys could have just won this thing if you just.
Like all you have to do after Trump got shot at was go,
wow, it looks like political rhetoric
really has reached a fevered pitch.
And rather than succumbing to our base instincts
and trying to cancel people or whatever else,
why don't we instead get behind Donald Trump,
a man of a passion who loves this country
and he's gonna set things straight.
And just been like the most noble.
All you do for like the next six months was just,
you even pretend to be like the most noble,
upstanding like we are not gonna devolve
into fighting and rhetoric.
And we're not gonna,
if somebody doesn't wanna vote for Trump, that's fine.
They don't understand, but we're gonna back our guy.
And instead like two seconds later,
they're like, Kyle Rittenhouse isn't voting for Trump
Joe Rogan likes RFK
Are acting insane just fucking get behind your guy
And the French did some gay stuff at the Olympics Vito. Could you believe it? Can you believe it? Oh my god, everything's gay. Yeah, I know they all had to flip out
Oh, there's there's a bunch of gay guys at the Olympics. Yeah, it's the Olympics. It's a bunch
of it. That's like 90% gay guys flipping over each other and I don't care. I don't care about any of
this. Uh, as Dick said, and I said, this is probably one of the best jokes you've ever written. He said,
I'm sorry, somebody put gay porn in your gay porn. I went that is an excellent description of the Olympics.
Let's go over the winners from last week.
I actually did win incredibly with Oakland, California,
the worst city around, followed by Dick with cults,
which it was talking a lot about this cat turd being
upset at everybody. I wish it was talking a town or those guys will all kill themselves and shit. Yeah, but we gotta we haven't had one of those in a while. What's
the last great cult still just like Scientology shit. Yeah,
but even they're not that strong anymore. Uh we all said
anti DIYers at uh three. That's a dick not knowing how to deal
with his wasp problem and then of course my problem with
people who steal your stories uh like dick who just hears
about my exciting life and tries to make it his own.
Well.
Yeah, it really sucks when people steal something
and try to pass it off as their own.
It really sucks Vito.
What is that?
What are we talking about here?
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Keep going on with the show.
I guess I'm the big winner.
Yep.
You know what's exciting about this version of biggest problem
is that unlike the other version, I get to bring up clips
and like YouTube stuff and no one can stop now. Whatever you're thinking of, get the
links right now before you
start the problem. Get right
into it. This is the uh
trailer for the new Star Wars
project announced. Oh my god.
I was just talking about how I
don't care about Disney ****
Why are people trying to get
me to care about Star Wars?
The skeleton crew. Let's uh let's just skip through this a little bit. I already watched it.
Okay. Tomorrow's test will set the course of your entire future.
All right. Do you ever want to do anything exciting? Like what?
What if we could go anywhere we want in the whole...
Okay, so I have to pause this so we don't get copyright struck, right?
You already played 25 seconds. You're supposed to do 6 seconds in increments, you idiot.
Okay. So this is what the Star Wars neighborhoods look like?
They even have like fucking regular red roofs, like a regular.
Yeah, it's another planet in the galaxy.
Fucking George Lucas put a stupid,
he put fucking Blade Runner in the prequels
and a stupid fucking diner.
George Lucas opened up the window
to have human looking stuff in Star Wars.
It's all his fault.
And now Disney's doing it.
It's just the 1950s in Star Wars?
Yeah, who cares?
Stop watching Star Wars. Why are yous in Star Wars? Yeah, who cares? Stop watching Star Wars.
Why are you still watching Star Wars?
As people are saying, it looks like a kid's show made for kids.
Fine.
Yeah, it's like E2.
I found something buried in the woods.
I don't like that the blue thing is talking like a human.
It should be like, boop, boop, boop, boop.
That's what it should talk like.
I think it's a lost Jedi temple as they find anything in the woods and
then is Jude law pops out of it I guess yeah it's a magic adventure it's a magic
adventure I got the description trust no one
Wow spider okay little kids in Star Wars. Isn't that great? Little kids in Star Wars.
But here's my actual problem with this. You can't stop complaining about Star Wars? Is
that your problem? Well, no, I have to stop complaining about Star Wars because I don't
find it interesting at all. Okay. I think I'm starting to realize why I don't find it
interesting. Okay. What's the problem, Vito? don't find it in her. Okay. What's the problem Vito? Okay? Here's the problem
Okay, what's the name of the what's the name of the franchise?
Space confrontations space confrontations
No, cuz it was called
Confrontations you would be this would make sense
But I'm like I star wars
Yeah, or is cool in War is a cool concept.
Yes.
I think that's why Star Wars worked. It was about the empires versus the rebels and one guy who had a magic sword. One guy. Not a bunch of guys.
There were a couple guys who had swords.
In the first movie there's three guys with swords. In the second movie there's two guys with swords. And in the third movie there's three guys with swords. In the second movie,
there's two guys with swords. And in the third movie, there's two guys with swords. That's
it. It's not a lot. But then, but then George Lucas put like a million swords. Everything
that sucked, everything people complain about Disney doing. I'm just like, yeah, but George
Lucas allowed this. Like they all complain about the acolyte doing forced pregnancy.
And I'm like, yeah
It was something stupid George came up with and you all jerked off over it back then with the foot
What's the difference? I think the point is that every time I go into one of these I
Go into one of these Star Wars projects and hold on is my audio dropping out
Let me it did for like a second, but I didn't know if it was on my end or your end
But it's fine now you were a little robot and I know if it was on my end or your end. It dropped out for a second. But it's fine now. You were a little robot and I was
worried it was on my end but I think. Okay, we're good. Yeah.
Here's the thing is I think that the parts of Star Wars
that work and I was talking about those people. Remember
Rogue One? It's not perfect but it's like kind of good. No,
it's a boring piece of **** with characters that I ****
hate. You really don't like Rogue One at all. Yeah, it's a boring piece of shit with characters that I fucking hate. You really don't like Rogue One at all?
Yeah, it's a boring piece of shit with characters I hate.
I watched one episode of Andor, which idiots like you told me was like the best thing
Star Wars has done in years.
And I'm like, this is a fucking boring piece of shit with the same character.
You only watched one episode.
Yeah, and it was a boring piece of shit, and I turned it off, and I'm like, no, I'm done.
No, And or works.
And or is good. And no, no, cause when I put star Wars on, there's like bang, bang, bang
stop Wars. Like what you were just talking about and there's fun characters. And then
I put Andor on and it's just the guy being sad. And then there's like a security guard
who's taking his job too seriously. And I'm going to talk about it and I'm watching it.
I'm like and I'm watching
it. I'm like, I already know
this like space Mexican dude
blows up in like a few years.
Why do I care about that? I
get well, they've made it work
surprisingly. I was skeptical
as well but I think that
military look military stories
are good stories. Every guy on
Earth loves watching World War
II documentaries and you go, I wonder, I wonder if
Hitler could have won a land
war in Russia if he invaded
three months earlier. That's
interesting. You know, all that
like military technology and
uh. But can it be entertaining
and can your main actor have
more than one facial expression
which is just this. I'm
Andor. Look, I'm not saying Andor is the best one, but it's better than a bunch of little kids.
They got that hot ass actress in that show and she's wearing like a baggy jumpsuit?
I'm like, oh fuck off!
Fuck this show!
Dude, on the same day I watched the first episode of Ahsoka, the Acolyte, and Andor.
Ahsoka was like mediocre, but the other two were-
No, Ahsoka was like mediocre, but the other two were the worst one. No, because
I actually watched rebels and I'm like, okay, it's just a live action rebels. I didn't watch
any other episode, but it was entertaining. There was like a lightsaber there. She's riding
on a bike and then acolyte. I don't know what the fuck they were doing in that. I forgot
everything about it, but, uh, Andor was the most boring one I could think of. And the
hot girl was wearing a baggy jumpsuit
Look, I think the Star Wars problem has always been and I've always thought this is
They rely too much on the Jedi shit
I think that's even where the prequels went wrong is you're like look the gen is are cool when there's like some of them
Not like a million of them and they're all magic and they're all doing magic stuff
They're all communicating to each other with magic and jumping around with magic. It's too much
bullshit. I think Star Wars worked because it was about a military con. It's like, what if World War
Two was going on? But on each side, there was a guy with superpowers doing fucked up laser sword
shit that kind of really really connect that really honestly when you think about it did not connect to the main military plot line except because it was the tail end of the 70s and sci-fi I was just talking about this in a video that's not even out yet but like
6070 sci-fi was like super trippy and weird and Star Wars is when they started toning it down so yeah there was like a holdover from that you go back years previously and then you get Zardo's
Which is very trippy weird sci-fi with psychic powers. It doesn't make any fucking sense
Okay, but I'm just saying that
Again, I watched the Star Wars trailer and immediately it's not about kids
It would be interesting was like the kids are like, oh my God, there's a battle between the Empire and the Republic. And our parents have been set to war
like a war epic, like, you know, kids in a war zone. What does that look like? And you can take
it seriously with it, but it's not, it's just a bunch of gay, like, oh, there's a magic tree with
a Jedi man living in it. And he's going to take us across the galaxy to learn about the Jedi because everything's about the fucking Jedi all the time. But Vito just just don't watch the show.
I'm just saying that Star Wars okay I also look back at like I think I was looking at somebody
had a bunch of Star Wars toys they were getting rid of and I went man those are cool but you know
what was cool was
it wasn't a bunch of guys with laser swords. It was like 80 80 walkers and X wings and fucking
Hoth moon bit Hoth's whatever base ice base with the fucking dome laser and shit. And I went,
you know what that really is like the part of Star Wars, which is the coolest aspect is the
military warfare. And they've just
like completely gotten away from that. And they're like, it's about wizards. It's about
wizards. Yeah. Wizards doing wizard stuff. Wizards mad at other wizards. Occasionally,
the empire shows up and they just killed them like cannon. They had a chance with solo,
but then fucking Kathleen Kennedy fired the two talented guys and she got a fucking boomer
in there to ruin it. So that was their chance to fix it when they fucked it up and who ruined the Mandalorian
No, no, I'm talking about a solo was a good chance to like because there wasn't any Jedi
Yeah, really no, but they forced Jedi shit in they said well Han Solo's girlfriend. What if she's a fucking Jedi?
Yeah, but that was like you have to be
Till end of the movie, but the rest of the movie was like, oh, we was like, at the tail end of the movie.
But the rest of the movie was like, Oh, we're going to do a heist and shit. But then they reshot the whole movie with a boomer and it sucked.
It all sucked. What are you going to do?
Why does everyone care about Star Wars? Still?
I don't even watch this shit anymore. Are you going to go see the Lizzo movie?
I'm sorry. Mandalorian movie. I just think I'm only only gonna refer to that movie as the Lizzo movie the
Mandalorian shows now the Lizzo show I got so much shit for making fun of that show at the beginning and everyone called me an
Idiot and now Lizzo's playing tennis with a puppet. I'm like you all fucking deserve this for not listening to me the Mandalorian
I always thought the Mandalorian I was like this could get good if they do the right thing with it
And then they immediately did the wrong thing with it.
Yeah, they made a babysitting show.
Anyway, what was your problem?
Star Wars.
My problem is too many Jedi.
They got to get away.
Dude, it's the worst.
And that's why that Ahsoka show doesn't work.
That's why that Obi-Wan show doesn't work.
It's like all this Jedi shit sucks.
And if they just made it about again, like Wars, Star Wars, War is cool.
Make war movies.
Vito, just watch something else like Rebel Moon.
I tried. I really tried.
I guess that's what drives me nuts is I go, I'm tired of like World War II war films.
We already know everything about World War II. So Star Wars would be like a cool place to have like an invented war with
like a mythology and different battles and different generals. I'm like, man, I could
get really invested in that. That would be cool. And instead it's just about, Hey, there
was a guy named Gator McClungelstein and he had a three bladed lightsaber in the shape
of a fucking star whip. And you're like, I don't care about him.
I like they were going to do that Rogue Squadron movie.
I'm like, that's a good idea.
But then Patty Jenkins
couldn't figure out how to make a basic Wonder Woman movie and completely fucked it up.
And they took all her rights away.
Vito, just pop on Star Wars Dark Forces.
You know, it's a shoot them up.
The old school of SPS.
I think I recently bought that again. I think that release
We're just watching Star Wars ripoff from the 70s or 80s
There's a bunch of them. I
Like military stuff. I really say there's a bunch of Star Wars ripoffs that you probably haven't seen you'll get your fix from that
What is it good?
Like now I kind of want to get into like
Warhammer or something because it's like sci-fi military
stuff. So maybe that would be cool. Starship Troopers again.
I love stuff. Well, the first Starship Troopers is fantastic.
Yeah, and I remember watching the second Starship Troopers
be like, oh man, it's going to be just as good as the first
Starship Troopers and then it's like a movie set in like one
set. that's clearly
against the green screen being invaded by aliens. That was the most disappointing thing
ever. I heard the CGI movies are okay. Someone brought up a good point. Star Crash, the Italian
Star Wars ripoff. You gotta check that out. Our people made a Star Wars movie. They put
David Hasselhoff in it. Christopher Plumbers in it. It's a good time. It is a good point that that that Rebel Moon is a
disappointment because you're like we don't get good sci-fi
franchises anymore. I'm trying to think and they're doing
another alien. Maybe that'll be good, but it kind of looks
like just the original alien again. Yeah, so I don't know.
Anyway, my problem is too many Jedi Tony. I don't have a sting. So, you know, I I have a problem.
You know, that doesn't work at
all. That's terrible.
Time for a problem. Okay. Are
you done? Vito, my problem is
go ahead I see you
looking at the button Vito my new problem new problem ready to problem. Ready to go. All right. All right. Vito. Oh my God. You just
spit out. That was so fucking gross. Cause I really wanted to do it again. Oh, get a
napkin. No, I know there's a pile of saliva on your desk or the floor. Get a napkin like
an adult floor. Oh my God. It's cause I was, I was like, if I did it again, well, I'm like all the way back there. That would have been pretty funny. Can I do the show again with just dick?
Okay, one. This is your one chance. We know my problem is
Episodes of shows that don't have the main character
What are we doing?
There's your stang have you ever watched a show?
I can't I can't wait to see another
adventure of whatever.
Uh, and then the whole episode is about someone else or one of the minor characters.
Right.
You ever deal with that?
It's so fucking annoying.
Yeah.
You watch a show week to week, you're invested in the main character's journey.
And then they fucking blindside you with an episode that has
nothing to do with everything.
Anything.
It's following a guy who maybe was on the show, like a minor
part, maybe some supporting character.
And suddenly it's all about him.
And it like fucking ruins the flow.
If you're binging all these episodes, you get to these
episodes without the main character.
And you're like, what the fuck am I wasting my time here for? This is awful.
And I have some examples here. Uh, remember Batman, the animated series, we all loved
it. Yeah. Yeah. That was a good one. Yeah. Every week you want to see who is Batman going
to punch this week. Oh, I hope he punches a ninja. Oh, I hope he punches clay face. And
then he gets to the episode showdown and Fair enough. It starts off with Batman and Robin and they're about to face off ninjas
And then they're like, oh Roswell ghoul left us a recording and then the whole episode is about Jonah hex in the
1800s fighting Cowboys
That's like right they can't do that and you're like what the fuck is this? Where's Batman?
What I didn't sign up for the Jonah heck show. And it's all like, Oh,
Rosso Gula had a son that he didn't like and Jonah heck shot them on a blimp.
It's like, this isn't, where's Batman? Where is the Batman was this?
Was this later on? It was the last time they should not have even been out of
ideas by that point. They really should. I,
I guess they wanted to introduce Jonah hex,
but he didn't get in his own spin-off show.
And then they did it again. They did the Justice League show and they got the Justice League
Unlimited and like again every episode you're like okay.
But Justice League Unlimited like Justice League is like a lot of different guys.
Yeah, but like there was like you always had your main dudes and they were doing stuff
with them. They're like, all right, Batman and this guy.
No, no, no, no, you can't use Justice League Unlimited.
No, no, no, I am.
Justice League, sure, but Justice League. No, no, no, no, no. You always
had your main dudes and a couple new guys in there and then they did the Patriot act
episode which is like vigilante and shining night and they go on their own adventure and
you're like, what is this? Where's Superman? Where's Batman? Well, they're trying to set up the other toys.
Dude, they did this a couple times. I'm a big X-Files fan. They did this in X-Files.
Wait, they had episodes with no Molder or no Scully? Or was it just one of them?
There was a couple episodes with no... There was a bunch of episodes with no Scully because she got pregnant early on.
But yeah, there's an episode where Scully's sad and she goes to Philadelphia and bangs a dude who has a haunted Jodie Foster tattoo
And Mulder's only in the beginning and end of it. It's like, oh wait, I thought I like
Hold on that is still main characters. You can have an episode with just
They are both the main character. They both need to be in it. And then you have the other one that was written by Stephen King
It's like Scully goes to Maine and fights a haunted doll and molders just main and molders
just calling in sporadically throughout the episode. It's like, no, I want to see molder
fight the haunted doll. What the fuck is this? And then you have a whole episode about the
cigarette smoking man and another one that's all about the lone gunman. And then you get
the season eight, nine where there's just no fucking moment. They had to do the lone gunman episode because they're setting up for the mini series.
That didn't happen until like a few years later. Well, we needed to see how
Backdoor pilots are another issue I have. But yeah, then you get the season eight, nine.
There's just no fucking motor at all. Like maybe backdoor pilots. Were you an office
fan? You ever watched the office? Yeah, I know that. I know exactly what you're
talking about. I know a bunch of episode which sets up all
this like he's got a brother and a lady at the farm. He's
in love with and they're like scrap it all. Never mind. Yeah
that kid we said isn't his kid actually is his kid. Yeah.
Well, hold on. Then I don't understand it all and then he
get and then he get lost. You get the episode expose which
is about just two characters
who had never gotten attention before. And it's all about their origin. And then they
die at the end of it. It's like, where was Jack? Where was Kate? You wasted my time with
this episode. And then he gets stuff like that 70 show where Eric just leaves. And then
he gets stuff like house of cards where like the president just leaves the show and it
keeps going.
So the house of cards one, that really is like a travesty where like I know that show was
kind of like going off the rails in the later seasons, but there was a point in time where
House of Cards was like the show that everybody was like on. They had one more in them they could
have gotten away with. The whole show was building up to them two facing off and they should have
just canceled it. There was no reason that it's not the same show, but basically if you don't have
your main character, don't do the show.
If I'm invested in the show and the main character is not there, I don't want to
waste my time.
I'm certainly not going to leave any super chats.
I'm going to pull my Patreon funding from that show.
And I would definitely unsubscribe.
It was only for one episode.
And I would say that, you know, if it was that versus no episode at all.
You're trying to pull a fast one on your fans.
You're trying to rob them of your money, of their money, their hard-earned money,
the little money they have left over after, I don't know, maybe donating to a comic book or something.
And it's just a waste of time and it just ruins a whole series.
Well, you know, it's hard when you go to film the episode and the principal actor goes,
Oh, you know, I had to go do some stuff.
You know, it's, it's very common on these network sitcoms that, you know, that, uh,
David Duchovny just would call into the X-Files set and go, uh, you know, I got something
going on.
So you guys just do a Scully episode this week.
Yeah.
Well, you know, you don't
normally deal with that. Yeah, it's it's it's annoying. It's annoying. And I really an actor
or participation in a two man project would be there for the project. I did like loss.
I think it was the episode right before the finale. They're like, let's go back 5,000 years and do the origin of the
smoke monster and his brother. And it's like, what the fuck is this? What, what is this?
This is so far removed from anything. Sometimes you need a little backstory. I get it. You
could have just told us in a conversation. I know they say show don't tell, but when
your show is nearing the very end of the finish line Don't get sidetracked with a weird origin episode
Angry guy, okay
Sometimes I want the origin of the characters though. I got not at the very end of the fucking show
Yeah, you might have a point so yeah
I would just say that
sometimes people come down on these episodes or one of the
actors is missing and oftentimes it's because some of these
types, these creative types, just go off on a bender or
something. Who knows what they're up to and they can't
fill in or maybe it is one of those situations where the
other guy goes and he just rapes a bunch of people, like know, like with House of Cards, who knows anything could have happened could be the reason why they're not there. So, you know, and again, you can't hold that against the other actors and actresses who did show up and their part and hit their mark. I don't think that's a knock on them. That doesn't that doesn't seem fair.
knock on them. That doesn't that doesn't seem fair. No, no, it is. Especially when they're not prepared and their internet makes their voice sound
like a robot again for five seconds. Yeah, I remember that.
They should actually get the most criticism and hate for those episodes.
Well, what can you do, folks?
Also, you're so obsessed with Star Wars and he didn't include the Boba Fett one.
I'm surprised you didn't jump in. I mean, I was going to I felt like I talked too much about Star Wars. I didn't want to bring up more Star Wars, but there is the Boba Fett where one of the episodes is just a Mandalorian episode. I think because Gina Carano fucked up everything and they're like, oh god, now we have to work this in because we can't. Originally, they're happening. She fucked it up that early. She fucked it up at the point that yeah, Grogu was supposed to come back on the Rangers of the New Republic show is the understanding.
And then they're like, oh, we can't do it there. So let's just do it here. And well,
they fucked it all up. They fucked it all up. I blame anyone who liked Mandalorian for
Gina Carana. Why did you think? Why did you all pretend she was a good actress? She's
terrible. See, I wouldn't talk shit about Mandalorian and then people got mad at me
for saying, oh, I was like, this kind of sucks. And they're like, what are you talking about?
This is the best thing that ever happened. No, it's because they were they they were
comparing it to Rise of Skywalker. So they were pretending it was better than it was.
But it's like, no, it's it's just as bad. It's all it's all it's all terrible. So yeah, shows that don't have episodes of shows that don't have the main character always always skip them and demand better.
You do or just listen to them all the way through because they're a little different a little quirky. That's something good in them. Skip them. Skip them. Alright Tony, well...
What else? What else? These are the built-in ones.
That's a little... These are all so calm.
Sometimes these episodes have people just wasting time like playing music.
They're supposed to be background music. Is the show better if this is in the background?
Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe.
Examining all problems, past, future, and present.
This is almost as bad as the time I called into John Brink's Bad News and like every phone call was a failure.
Like people didn't answer the phone. This is like on that level. like, I've read the bad news and like, every phone call was a
failure. Like, people didn't
answer the phone. This is like,
on that level. Tranquility with
Tony, the guru. Hi, Tony.
Anyway, that's your next ****
problem. Well, Tony, it seems
like tonight in the chat, we
have a lot of hecklers uh
causing a lot of problems and uh I would say that's my problem is bad hecklers. Guys,
if you're going to be a heckler, you gotta come prepared. You gotta have some real fire
to hit people with. You're doing that problem on this episode and not the episode with your
bad comedian friend who was on that episode that I saved. He probably would have been
able to relate to this so much better. What are you going to do? Now, Tony, have you ever we've dealt with hecklers.
I think we've been at some of these live shows. People go crazy.
They say crazy things and everyone loves me.
Everyone. Well, yes, I know, because you just get up there.
You take a seat and we're going to go.
Tony, I almost took it.
Tony, like, so relaxed.
Part of me, that's like I really want to take animals just to really fuck with Vito.
And then I was like, Vito's probably going to fuck it up on his own.
I don't think he needs my Tony looks so relaxed and nobody wanted to bother you.
They're just like, Oh, I just look so happy up there.
Just sitting quietly.
Hey, guys, we're going to show.
Okay, bye.
I don't know.
How did I first remember?
How the fuck did I get back up on the stage?
I don't know.
Who would invite me on the stage after I fucked up?
You're like nodding off.
You were just kind of like off to the side, like passed out in a daze.
I was black.
I was blacking out that whole night.
And when I came to and realized I was on stage, like internally, I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stand up experience. Did you get a little bit of a little bit of heckling there, but I was going to say that I recently did
a scholarly debate on YouTube between myself and a man named
Mr. Berger, who we all that was actually a mistake. Oh, and I
just spilled things all over my desk. I keep getting confused
because Mr. Berger's is the crazy guy who was like,
there's two Mr. Burgers. Well, the one you would talk to is Mr.
Burger. But Mr.
Burgers was the insane dude who was like fucking with Maddox and whatnot.
Yes. Uh, give me one second.
I just spilled crap all over my.
How? How?
Wait, and now it's just me.
What the.
I agree.
I keep, I see all your comments about how bad this is.
And I, I a hundred percent agree with all of you.
This is abysmal.
Vito should be ashamed of this.
I'm doing my best here.
I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry. I thought he had show prep.
Why is he I can't even see him in the thing.
I can't even bring up. I'm not like the owner of it. I can't bring up like super chats. Okay, I think I fixed it.
Okay, I spelled soda. Okay. Do you have more soda in the
cup? Can you put the cup far away from you? I have two cups.
Alright, here we go. So, hecklers, hecklers. So, I was
doing a debate with my good friend, Mr. Burger and
thankfully, Clipsama got this together but for some reason, me and Mr. Burger having a spirit debate and this this I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm going to go ahead and say that I'm going to go ahead
and say that I'm going to go
ahead and say that I'm going to
go ahead and say that I'm going
to go ahead and say that I'm
going to go ahead and say that
I'm going to go ahead and say
that I'm going to go ahead and
say that I'm going to go ahead
and say that I'm going to go
ahead and say that I'm going to would disagree with that. I'm one of your fucking business.
But the Patreon, your Patreon doesn't have like any.
Vito, I don't make my money off the internet.
Okay, so this is you make money from your regular job and you fund it personally.
That's fine.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
I apologize. I wasn't, maybe I wasn't speaking clearly enough. None of your fucking business. So this was of course between me and Mr. Burger. to having a job. So he's
gotta be on unemployment or something, right? He couldn't
even. What the fuck? Uh it was very confusing. All I know is
that at a certain point, this heckler, this Brian Christ gal
uh started accusing me of of crazy things. I think it's right
about me to suck his **** I I know that's your lacking the sources, but that's okay.
So over the line.
Okay.
And so here, by the way, you said this was clipped.
This is an hour.
It's the whole fucking episode.
I skipped ahead to where it is.
So here is Brian.
This heckler Brian is going to explain what I like about.
You know what I like about Carl's show?
He brings up the clips and has them.
I just do it on the fly.
None of this matter.
Sweets that were over the line.
That were indicative of a fucking degenerate.
OK, and how many of those tweets do I make?
Gee, no, I can't.
217 Twitter.
I think that you do get it. I think you, I think you absolutely get it.
What do I get? Absolutely fucking get that you're, we know that you're a fucking degenerate.
What's a degenerate? And you don't like having degenerates running into our fucking scene.
So he's upset about his comic book scene is being destroyed by my degeneracy. I watched this live. Yeah. And he you keep asking
where the degenerate is and he won't. Yeah. I I ended up like
just googling definitions and I was just typing them in the
chat. I just googled it right now. Degenerate means to become
worse, weaker, or less useful. Which is not a good definition
of what they're trying to express. Yeah. So here I'm going to go. Can you just tell me what a degenerate is? And he's going to try
to answer. I don't know what a degenerate is because you won't tell me. Right. I know one
when I fucking see one, bro. Okay. I see what wasn't that like a famous quote from like a
politician or something? He could have. That's the famous quote for defining obscenity law so back
Yeah, when they were trying to take down comedians like Lenny Bruce or whatever they go. Well, you're obscene you we can't have you making these jokes
It's actually very apropos for the situation. Yeah, and uh, you know, they would go
Well, what is the obscenity defined as and I forget who said it might have been a Supreme Court Justice
Yeah, he says I don't know how to define it, but I know it when I see it. So literally defaulting to one of the most
embarrassing attempts to define law as ever seen before. And again, he's on it.
You know, they could just pull up the definition. That's what all you want, bro. You can gas all the fucking fuck.
He's a degenerate! He's a degenerate!
What does that mean? I don't fucking know what it is.
You're a bitch. You're a bitch.
You're a bitch. You're a bitch.
You dumb piece of shit.
And they go, you like cuties, a movie I've never seen, of course.
What are you talking about? We watched it together. You said it was great.
I wish. I kept telling you, you don't don't have to be turned off. Why not know?
I don't have mountains and mountains of proof.
Right. Now, you, you...
Now, what we learned about Brian is Brian's very upset at me
because he's coping with the fact that he can't sell comic books for some reason.
You would think a guy...
Okay, let's, let's say you made a project a project Tony and you have your fans and you have your
family. You really sell like 100 copies of a thing, right? Yeah. Yeah, that would not be too hard.
Brian who makes comics is very upset at me because he hasn't had as much success. But we're going to
we're going to look into how many comics. He's wrestling with his sexuality. It's sad. Listen,
with his sexuality it's sad. Listen, gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen.
Oh, you know, you know Brian.
Get that going.
Oh, he loves the fatwa.
No one will ever care about him at all.
I've been nothing but cordial to everyone here.
I know you're hanging out with this degenerate man.
A single swear word has not come from my fucking mouth.
Now for god's sake.
I know one when I see one and Brian is a filthy degenerate.
No one should buy.
Brian, do you make comics?
Yeah, I make comics.
No one should buy his degenerate comics.
I actually deliver that.
Why did you put that thought law on?
We all know it.
And it's sad.
Everybody loves my comics, bro.
Everybody loves Brian's comics. how many of you sell?
it still loves my comics, my comic loves my comics, oh my god, my baron loves my comic,
oh my baron, that's my gooding, okay Vito, now we're just watching your episode, hold on, hold on,
how many copies did we sell on fund my comic this is devolving
situation Vito
Backers folks 20 fun people love Brian Christ cows six gun gorilla
Congratulations on those 25 backers, but we're gonna get that up Vito
so
You could have just dream and you could have just download this and trim any of this down. That was way too long.
Yeah, what are you gonna do?
You could download it and trim it down.
I'm not even supposed to be here today, man.
Oh my god.
Look, I had a different problem that I said, maybe this will be more interesting, but it
was.
So heck, wait, you count this as bad hecklers?
Yeah. What's your next problem?
That wasn't, that wasn't even hecklers.
Those were just morons. What the fuck?
What's your problem, uh, Tony?
I don't know. How do I follow that disaster?
Who cares? None of this matters.
I didn't even wanna do it. I wasn't even gonna do a show today.
And then I said, well, everybody is crying.
Okay, they're all like, oh, I don't know why Vito
can't just do a show by himself.
And I'm like, all right, well, this is what you're gonna get
and it's gonna suck.
I like that you consider me as a guest
doing a show by yourself.
I can't manage, look, I can't manage this.
I don't know how to do it.
You know, you watch because you only watch Star Wars shit.
You watch that Boba Fett episode.
You're like if Mandalorian can hijack Boba Boba show, I can hijack
dick show and you drive.
I can't run a show.
I'm not good at it.
That's why I don't do it.
Anyway, host the show. I'm not good at it. That's why I don't do it. Anyway,
you want to host the show. Do you want to be the host? It's
too late now. We're like an hour into this shit. I know. Well,
I should have just had you fucking hosted. Vito, I have a
big problem. Do you want to play a musical? Okay, what's your problem?
Body shaming, Vito.
We gotta stop that.
We gotta stop it. We gotta stop it.
I've been body shamed for months now, Vito, over things I can't control, like the size of my head.
Every day, you're fucking fans.
You can get that size down. You're fucking fans. You get that size down.
You're fucking fans.
There's exercises.
They send me comments.
They send me some guy made a GIF of Star Wars of them seeing the Death Star,
but instead it's my head.
People are Photoshopping my sexy gym photos, but making my head like two sizes bigger.
Or the one that was the one was like,
they made my whole midsection, my head.
Yeah.
Um, and you know, I love biggest problem in the universe.
I listened to every episode.
However, if I was a fan, I would not be listening to this episode.
It's terrible.
Of course not.
Um, and sometimes I'm like, let me just wind down.
It's been a busy week.
It's Friday night.
Let me relax with my favorite show.
And I like to, and it's like Tony's head is so fucking big. I'm like, how did this
even how did this come up? Where did this, where did this come up? How did this even
happen? Um, and now it's like crossed over into my show. Now my co-hosts are shitting
on the sides of my head. Uh, and making fun of me constantly. And you just shouldn't body
shame people at all. I don't body shame.
If I ever said anything mean about your body, Vito, I'm sure you have.
I have not.
All right.
You fat bald fuck.
I never body shamed you at all.
You wouldn't, of course not.
You have examples of being body shamed.
I can't think of any off the top of my head.
Uh, people usually love my body.
Yeah, we love it. We want it to get better. That's why we, uh,
we do the vetoes booting.
It's already in peak physical condition.
But you know, I just, I see that Olympic, uh, girl who's getting body shamed.
And I'm just sitting there and I'm like,
I'm going through the same exact thing she is because everyone makes fun of the
size of my head.
Her head's pretty big too. So I get why you identify with her.
It's a, it's upsetting. You guys, you guys shouldn't body shame.
It's a, it's degenerate.
It's very degenerate. You gotta stop with the degeneracy.
We have to stop body shaming and I can't control the size of my head.
Although I think it's a normal size head. Uh yeah. And you're all there. There are a number of people who, uh, you know,
engage in body shaming, uh, maybe, you know, come up with bits and stunts to try and capitalize
on it. And frankly, I just, I can't, you know, might even sell t-shirts and things that are
wrong. It's a wrong weight of women, which is a horrible.
I've been working out like since December and I'm getting like better and I post like
gym stuff and they I'm like look at the size of my arms and they're like look at the size
of your head and or no it's like Tony you lost so much weight it actually makes your
head look bigger and I'm like oh shit should I stop working out? Should I? Oh no. I don't
know what you would how would you offset your giant head?
Maybe if you wore like a, like a larger hat, people would go, well,
that hat's so large on him.
He must have a small head for such a large.
Should I wear like a big hat and like, like buy like suit jackets?
You should have a giant scarf that like the scarf is so large and it's like,
Oh, his head is so tiny. Cause look, you wear the scarf. That's his neck. That's how wide his so large and it's like, oh, his head is so tiny because
look, where the scarf, that's his neck. That's how wide his neck is. So the head, I think
that would make more sense. Yeah.
That's what I got. Body shaving is the biggest problem in the universe.
Yeah.
I absolutely agree with you.
I'm glad we agree on stuff.
I'm glad. Thankfully, this episode won't have any of that sort of nonsense.
I, I, I, I think I once again saved a terrible, biggest problem episode.
I'm like a superhero.
You should write a comic book about like a superhero.
This is like a good example of one.
That would be a good idea.
Yeah, you could be my inspiration for that.
Yeah, yeah.
Do a co-fund me. It's a good inspiration
the Team Guy Vito song? Do we have the Team Guy Vito song? I
don't have any of this stuff.
and I can't do I can't do the
Vito's Booty because I don't
have a pirate stuff and I can't
do the call to prayer because I
want to have a career. Toys.
I don't I have some toys but
not to give you. Alright, look.
Oh, wait a minute. No, I know.
I know. Hold on. Hold on.
Speaking of Vito's Booty, I was disgusted by your actions last week
and we owe it to that guy to have that thing read, hold on.
Why are you disgusted by my actions?
Because that was a very,
I get very supportive stuff from my fans all the time
and it means a lot to me.
And this guy wrote something for you
and you just trashed it.
When people have supportive things to send you,
where do they send them to?
Did they send them to you or did they send them to a magical prize box controlled
by a pirate with which to torment you?
Well, the second one's not an option, but I'm sure they would.
OK, so can you understand that there's a difference between sending me
a private note that says, hey, Vito, I'm very supportive and sending a note to a bit that specifically exists to humiliate and torment me with bad
jokes. That was a good thing. You got two broken dragon statues. This is better than
that. You're right. After months of broken dragon statues and pop figures and
whatever else, my big reward is a plastic trophy that says my favorite
comedian.
Your favorite comedian.
So just send that to me.
If I'm your favorite comedian, don't send it to the joke box.
No, no, no, no.
We're going to read his thing right here.
Can I say if I send you a fucking link? Can you get it up on the
screen? Yeah, put it in the chat in the comments on stream labs.
There you go. Wait, can you do that stream yard private chat?
Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. I can pull that up. Share this tab. Okay.
Okay, so this is this is this gay little note. It's a very supportive note. I don't
think it is. I think. Shut up. All right. Vito, I'm thinking about this bit. I was struck
with how often I listened to your comedy more than once a week for over a year. I always say biggest problem in the universe for the weekend and look forward
to it. And this thanks to you, I something, I think you're hilarious. The things you craft and present are the world to the world.
Why am I able to read this better than you are?
Sorry, I have really bad handwriting, but this is bad handwriting.
I don't know what that is.
You read this next one.
It looks like it says Huba Heatley, but he's trying to say
absolutely. Okay. That's a day. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. Huba Hootley.
Tube tube. I saw your top tier. Top tier. Okay. I saw your subway joke, uh, live in
Uh live in Long Beach? Yes.
Uh, absolutely fantastic.
Perfect joke.
The whole set was amazing.
And the outside of that and outside of that style of comedy, you have a
volunteer to read this.
I didn't realize how bad it was written.
Holy shit. You have a something something style where you put yourself in situations
you know have the opportunity to be funny and that something yourself to capitalize
yourself to capitalize on that opportunity.
I'm I'm thankful handing over something something something Netflix.
And then he covered it up with the fucking.
Yeah, what the fuck?
Why did you cover this up and then not even like do like a transcript?
Yeah, like reply something about being a punching bag. Bravo.
OK, very nice.
OK, yeah. Do you remember this person's name?
I don't remember the person's name.
No, I don't. I don't.
I don't remember the person's name. No, I don't. I don't. Uh, I don't know their name. Uh, if they're, if they're out there, they should let me know.
Okay. Well, one, they should probably type the next letter they send, uh, and two,
I just want them to know that I wanted your note read. I didn't want it read poorly,
but I wanted your note read on the show. You, you deserve it. Okay, and you owe it to him Vito
I don't owe him anything look you owe him everything. These are the people who keep you going Vito. You're his favorite
To me don't send it to dick
No, because it's funnier. It'll get read on the show or at least that's no you won't get read on the show
That was what I was trying to avoid It's only getting red cause you're here and you can't even read
it. So bad when people say nice things to you. What is, what is, it's not that. Okay.
The point here's the point of the bit. The bit is I opened the box. Yeah. There's either
a really cool, awesome thing in there or trash garbage. This was a really cool, awesome thing.
I know a little plastic trophy with a shitty little placard. This was a really cool awesome thing. I don't know. A little plastic trophy.
Yeah. With a shitty little placard. This is my favorite comedian. Oh, Vito, what's the
participation award generation? We love little plastic trophies for doing nothing. No, I
want something good. Okay. If you want, if you want to send a note of appreciation, just send it to me.
You can DM me.
You can email me.
You can send it to my PO box.
Okay, don't send it to Dick's Magic Pirate Treasure Chest because
then it's a goof.
No, fuck that.
Send it to my PO box and I will read it on my live episodes.
Send me positive things to say to Vito and I will read it on live episodes of Hacker
Movie. I assume you're doing a bit and I still think this guy is doing a bit and if he's not doing a bit. If I'm his favorite comedian, just send it to me. My PO box is also listed on the show. He did. He wanted to be part of the show. He wanted to have it presented in a way that was part of the show.
Okay, I'll read it on the show. He'll say, hey, I'm a big fan of Biggest Problem.
Here's a little note and a fun little trophy.
Can you read it on the show?
Fine.
If you do that, fine.
When you sent it into the pirate chest of Magic Toys.
No, no, no.
He's smart.
He was going to get it on the show.
No, if he did it your way, you would have just pretend you never got it.
You want me to open the box and think I'm getting something good and then I pull
out a little plastic trophy that you got on Etsy for 10 bucks and I got to pretend, oh
wow, I'm so wow. Incredible. What a great gift. Okay. Yeah. I think it's a great gift.
Hey, send me a little plastic trophy. Don't send me a plastic trophy. I don't have a little
plastic trophy that says you're better than V trophy. I don't have a trophy that says
better than Vito. Plastic
trophies that say my favorite
comedian. If you want to send
me a nice note, I will happily
read it and I will I will even
send a response. Say thank you.
It's very nice for the note.
but if you send it into Vito's
booty, it might it might end up
sacrificed on the altar of
broken toys. Alright.
Hey, the when I break the
dragon statue, nobody's mad
about that. The dragon statue
was already broken when I break
when I when I smash a when I
smash a mother's milk pop
figure, everybody gets that,
right? If the if the mother's
milk pop figure comes with a
gay little note about how much
they love me, am I not allowed
to smash it? No. It's an emblem of their undying affection for me. No, you're not allowed to smash it.
Okay, so now everyone's just gonna put a gay little note
with everything they send to Fido's booty. Yeah, that's a
good thing but it has to have a note.
Alright, well, what are you gonna do? Uh thanks. Thanks for my little trophy. Look,
I think that was a good
I think I think it made for a good moment on the show. I got a lot of people who frick
flipped out and they're like, Vito doesn't respect the fans. You don't you don't. You
didn't give them you gave us like a fake doodled comic book, like 10 pages of a comic book.
And now I'm giving you the shittiest fucking you don't put out. You don't put out YouTube episodes. You put out shows without the main
character. I'm going to say guys, don't forget to subscribe for Tony from Hack the Movies.
Tony, I don't remember the name of your channel, but uh, it's Hack the Movies Vino. Oh no,
that doesn't sound great. Uh, Cooper too. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Put it on the screen. I can't because I set up the stream labs wrong.
Oh my god. You have to do you know that? You know if you make it whatever you can't do it.
Sorry. Where do I have? Cole Marklin for two. Glad I canceled my Greenland trip.
Steve for two. Hey Siri. Noland trip Steve for two hey Siri nope
Cross Purposes for five great episode hilarious as always Diamond G for six stolen team guy veto song donations are worse than Tim AWOL stolen Fowler double the price after you have it to 30
last week and refuse 1999s wow that's Dick's fault I said to play the song for the 1999s. Wow. That's Dick's fault. I said to play the song
for the 1999s and he wouldn't
do it again. Dick is the one who
uh disrespects the fans. Not
me. Ride dog for five. Great
job getting supersonic last
night. Thank you. We really
knocked it out of the park. SB
for five. I'm just glad that
with two Italians here, we're
getting a genuine super show.
We should do the Mario Street Show. I just got that.
Could we all agree Captain Lou Albano
is still the only good Mario?
Yeah.
He's the only Italian who played him.
And he did that drug PSA, which has stood with me.
Every other Italian-
If you do drugs, you go to hell before you die.
Every other Italian has done pasta face.
Bob Hoskins, Charles Martinet, and the Chris Bratt. you go to hell before you die.
Every other Italian has done
pasta face. Bob Hoskins, Charles
Martinet, and the Chris Brett.
They're those are offensive
races. They're Italians,
especially Charles Martinet.
That guy is a monster. But Lou
Albano, Italian. They went to
Charles Martinet and they're
like, can you do an Italian
accent? He went, linguini,
spaghetti. And it's like that's offensive and you need to go. Yeah. That'd be like, I'm a daddy and it's like that's offensive and
you need to go. Yeah, that'd be
like, can you do an Indian
accent? You know, moccasins,
tobacco. No, it's not okay.
That was a different Indian
that I thought you were going
for. Well, Native American.
Uh renexus for twenty. Hey,
Vito, I love your appearance on
Mr. Burger's podcast. Oh, you
hate the parasol stuff but I
want you to know I consider you my one and only best friend and my mental health and wellbeing hinges on your success and approval.
Okay.
Well, that's good.
Who is this guy who cried because he divorced his wife or he cheated on his wife?
There's been these guys, I was trying to say, this is why this parasocial stuff goes too
far.
Is there some big YouTuber and he got on stream and he was like crying easily because I cheated on my wife. I'm so sorry I disappointed you. And it's like disappointed your they don't give a fuck. You're I don't care.
No, some of them do have fans who do care and get all upset. That's what it is though. It's that parasocial or their fans are like, oh my God my, uh, that's like, you're cheating on my wife. Remember the guy who got caught looking
at AI porn of like his friends who were celebrities. Yeah. And he like, he did a whole apology
with his wife there. Cry. You said I need help. And it's like, no, you don't. You looked
at naked photos of Pokemon who gives a shit. Anyway, I don't know why you would do that,
but okay. Yeah. There's just a regular naked girls out there. No, uh, but you didn't need I'm not sure if I would have done it anyway. I don't know
why you would do that but okay.
Yeah, there's just a regular
naked girls out there. No, but
you didn't need to do a crying
apology. I want to see like
hot like e girls naked. It's
not Pokimane but anyway, black
Crimson says, thanks for the
snacks and thanks for not
killing yourselves. No thanks
to Dick has the wage gap got
him. You guys finally got him. At least you get now. Now when Dick's not available for an episode, you
can be extra upset and be like, I know what happens when
you're not there. Oklovich for two way to show dick by getting
those chaos emeralds. I did knock him down. Tubby Tits Vito
for two. I've never been more disappointed. Diamond G for
two. 24 oinks and three minutes late.
Thanks at least veto. Uh let's
see mellow move for ten guys.
Don't worry. They're not late.
They just blew out the internet
and their zip codes. Cup of the
bandwidth that Tony from Hack
the Movies gigantic head took
up. Body shaving. I'm sorry.
Can I make it ultimatum? No big
head comments unless they're $50.
These people are horrible. Stu K for five. It's cool to see Tony using an IMAX camera so he can fit his big head on screen. And of course, my favorite comedian is here too. He's the best.
You got a nice wide angle lens on that thing there, Tony.
Straturgery for five with Vito on the left. That means he has to become the Chuck Dix in my ass.
A couple of people want that.
Viet's and Tony.
A couple of people want that.
Stu K for five.
It's blurry on camera because there's no door to keep the poop
stench out of the front room.
The Jerry and Coke for 10.
I went to a birthday party today for an Irish friend of mine,
and 97% of the people there were Italian.
I can't handle two more mooks today.
I'm out. Geez. That's one of our slurs. That is one of
our slurs. Unfortunately, he's out. Come on. I'm not sure who
would they would eat if they wait. I'm not sure who would
eat who if they were in studio together. I suppose it would be whoever had the fewest coupons.
I don't completely get it, but I like it. Pacepot Pete for big $10 says Tony has a big head.
It's so big. When you see it, you're just like, damn, that's a large head. It's so big. You can
see it from space. Aliens won't land there because they're scared of Tony's big head. It's so big. You can see it from space. Aliens won't land there because they're scared
of Tony's big head. That's uh that is just terrible. You can't believe they would say
that sort of thing. Dominic for two. You invite me on this show to just insult me Vito. Have
I ever done that to you? I'm not saying it there. Saying it. Alright. Dominic for two.
He doesn't have anything to say
about your gigantic head.
He just says, this is why you're not allowed
to touch anything, Vito.
LJ Clabarino for two, maybe Vito shouldn't take
the keyboard and mouse.
Trill Doug for two, I can't believe this episode
made me a Tony fan.
Mr. Poopsnarkle for two says, you're making
a $51,000 salary off this man, get a grip.
I don't know who, who you mean off Dick or
Dick's mate. I have no idea. Unpleasant for five. I'm pledging to veto his booty. Get on the scale.
You landlocked. There's no fetus. Please. This episode. Captain Boomi is the start of the episode.
Next time. Start Captain Boomi's is here. Tony, my good friend,
she's one of your good friends.
She has nothing but nice things
to say. She says, Tony, you and
your sizable noggin know what I
want. Give me Captain Ron.
Sizable. Captain Boomi's.
I hope you fucking hit an iceberg.
Okay.
I hope you fucking hit an iceberg.
Mint salad for five says, stop
watching Disney Star Wars
and Free Riley dot fund. Guys,
don't forget Riley's Legal Fund
at Free Riley dot fund. How much
have you donated to that? Uh
that's confidential but they
know how much they got from me.
How am I? I haven't brought it
up. They haven't brought it up.
I don't know. I just they
haven't brought up what? How
much I've given them. Yeah, I just, you know, yeah, I told them don't public. They haven't brought it up. I don't know. I just they haven't brought up what how much I've given them. Yeah, I just you know. Yeah, I told them don't publicize how
much I gave you. Oh, okay. Which is probably a lot because
you were bragging about like making a bunch of money on
him. So, you probably sold your ham stock and donate it to
them. Well, now, him's back down to him. Him's crashed
pretty hard but it's coming back. It's coming back. It's
coming back. It's coming
I've only ever been once. Are there tickets still available for DabbleCon? I don't know. I got them like a few weeks ago. So well guys
We're gonna hang out with Tony from Hack the Movies, Carl from WATP and all your favorite dabble
enthusiasts
Head on over to DabbleCon in Rochester, New York
Sure, there'll be a lot of fun. I wish I could go
Unpleasant for five Australian. Oof, Dick really let himself go. I'm not
I'm not doing pleasant for five Australian. Oof. Dick really let
himself go. I'm not. Wow. What
the **** I've gotten in shape.
I've I've been getting a better
shape. You look good. You look
good. You look great. Uh your
head looks perfect on that
buddy. Pale Pen fifteen for
five says Kyle Katarn stole the
Death Star plans and Rogue One
is **** I do agree with that.
Yeah. Death Star plans element
is the worst part. 100%. Strategy for two somehow Palpatine returned. Cool for two
will super color pop up in a Star Wars universe. Maybe at
some point JJ for five says do another Star Wars video.
Maybe at some point Straturgy for two Palpatine the pale
a muff. Nobody wants that Vito the polymorph Dominic for two
veto seething right now diamond G for two veto is like the thing to Mr.
Fantastic.
I don't know.
I guess I'm the fantastic is now Latino.
So I guess that would be Dick.
That would be my Johnny Storm.
I guess that's all I have left.
I think you're the mailman.
What the fuck?
I'm not the mail. Can I at least be the robot? I don't want to be
the mailman. The mailman was Stan Lee. You should be happier
the mailman. I made his fucking name. He's important. Let's see. Clip is here. It says
the final episode of Gunsmoke was a festish side story and wasn't about Marshall Matt
Dillon. After 20 years on air, vote up Tony's problem. the for five. Vito didn't kick Tony when he started going in. NGMI.
Pale Pen 15 for five. The lone gunman was Keno. I spent the
last of my money to say this. Why'd they kill off all the
lone gunmen? Was that necessary? Yeah, that was weird. And then
the comics, the season 10 comics, they like brought them
back. But then the actual the revival, they're still dead,
but they were cyber ghosts like the one guy's conscience was in a computer. It was
terrible. Yeah, I remember reading the comics in the store
and being like, Oh, this is kind of cool. I like these guys.
And I found out because I didn't watch the show religiously.
They just killed them all. And I'm like, Well, that seems
pointless. JJ for two baby Yoda trick women into thinking
they like Star Wars. That's true. That's probably why Disney
was so obsessed with it is because they're so obsessed
with getting women to watch this stuff.
I don't know why women like Star Wars, but with very few
exceptions, my co-host or Hannah being one of them, they're
not obsessed with it enough to like buy all the merch and
the games and stuff like they think it's cute and fun,
but they're not going to buy all the shit that actually don't buy
a Grogu squish.
Molo.
They'll buy a Chewbacca mug.
Yeah.
But at the end of the day, aren't you trying to sell like the
I was looking at the new has land.
You ever look at the has lab?
Can't know I'm an adult.
Well, I don't actually buy them, but they're kind of interesting on a I can't believe
they're making this stupid **** kind of way. and they just had
the most Isley Cantina set. Wait, what is it? Hold on. I'll
add it to the share this to the The the Cantina. So it's
the complete the it's the bar, the Star Wars bar. Okay. Don't
you want to own the bar? Do you put action figures in there?
Yeah, you put action figures in the bar. How big is it? It's
pretty big. That's the point is I don't know if they show any
of the figures in there. Look, okay bartender. Yeah
Yeah, see a guy would buy this and put it like in a cabinet or something
There is no woman on earth who goes I need a woo her figure
They finally released woo her and the woo her finally got a figure and I can put him in the bar and he could yeah
blue milk
Yeah, no man alive who wants this.
They just want a pink shirt that says them.
They finally made the Tanaka sisters.
You can finally get the Tanaka sisters and they can sit at the bar and smoke hookah.
Do they have Han Solo's girlfriend that was deleted from the movie?
Was she in the, wait, from the original movie?
Yeah, dude, when he leans in his first shot where he leans in, off camera is like his girlfriend character
and then after that conversation, he's like, I'll be
back, babe. They just. Oh, wow. I had no idea. Yeah. Yeah. So,
they do this thing where the the number of people who how
many backers did they end up getting? I find this stuff
fascinating. Let's show the funded. They got 14,000 backers. So,
that means everybody who bought the Cantina will also get a
Smooch are Clongle jungle Greedo. We know him. So, he got
on back and oh my god. It's neighboring leads. Yeah. Thank God they did not however unlock
the wolf man and Tony. I know you're looking at this and
you're going well hold on a second. You know, I love this
Cantina but it's not complete unless I get the deluxe
offering. What's the deluxe offering? Well, it's for people
who really want to commit to their, uh, configurable plane display. Pick your, uh, this is the, this is the basic, this is the basic offer.
Oh, wait. Oh, regular. That's the other wall. You get the other wall.
Oh, also, I said, I, I sent the missing footage of I sent the
missing footage of Han Solo's girlfriend. Um yeah, that
looks see a guy would probably buy that. Maybe ten guys will
buy that. A girl will not buy that. I will admit,
I'm like looking at this and I'm like, I just can't imagine
having a part of my house where I can lead people in and I go,
hey, check it. Check out what I got on this table here. Look,
it's the Star Wars bar. You didn't get like a bunch of X
wing shit and like a fucking Death Star or whatever. No, I
got the bar. So, yeah, that could.
I find all this shit fascinating.
They had the job of skiff barge at one point. That was cool, though, because that's a vehicle.
It's fucking ship.
The bar is a hard sell, I feel.
But again, they got 14000 people to buy it.
So what do I know?
All right. Where is my where is my money?
Here it is. OK.
Coup for two. Tony,
will you be at Oinktober? Thank
you for not killing yourself. Is
that a is that a thing? Maybe we
should make it a thing. Oglovich
for two. Big fan Tony. Just
don't let it go to your head.
That was you for two. Twenty-two
says Tony, the ultimate dome. Cool for two, body shaming doesn't work
if you're confident.
Unpleasant for five, Mr. Burger and Christ
got through you bad gold and you dropped it.
Good one Vito, who cares?
Stu K for two, Tony's head is my favorite
normal sized head.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Of all the normal sized heads in the world, Tony's got the best one. Steve for two says,
Hey Tony, do they charge you double for hats? I can't, I can't imagine a hat guy. He probably
takes probably gives them half price. He feels bad for them. Uh, let's see here. Uh, okay.
So Alex Reinhardt for five says I
missed dick but everyone should check out Tony from hack the
movies. Wait, that was actually positive. Yes, it was a
positive. Check out Hack the Movies on YouTube or Rumble or
Odyssey or wherever you promote Rumble. That's where ever you
get your I also stream on Twitch and Facebook and all
that stuff. Follow Hack the Movies everywhere. Patreon.com slash Hack the Movies.
Neo Valentine says, remember when they got the Mandalorian
ship funded on HasLab and then they blew it up on the show?
Yeah, I always thought that was weird. Why did they blow up the
Mandalorian ship? Like, why do you establish when you have one
of these shows and the character has a very iconic ship, just
let him keep his ship.
Yeah, but then they gave him the fucking the stupid ones from Phantom Menace. And I'm like, sucks. Yeah. I feel like just blowing up the Millennium Falcon being like, yep.
And like, well, what? What? We like the Millennium Falcon. Yeah, it's gone now.
Does he like rebuild it? Is it like in Star Trek where the Enterprise blew up and they got like a
new Enterprise? Like, nope. It's a completely different
thing. I'm like, oh cool. Let's see. Maybe it was maybe they
didn't like the set and they don't want to keep it around
or so. I don't know government name for two is the stock tip
veto for two. He says day trader veto and for two, he says
always with the hot stock tips. Dean Shocker five. Thanks for
the laugh boys veto sing early on solo shows to get the
energy up. So without dick does this count as a real episode? I'm gonna give you some tips. Dean Chuck, five. Thanks for the laugh boys. Vito Singh early on
solo shows to get the energy up.
So, without Dick, does this
count as a real episode? I
don't know, man. What's I
wouldn't count. I want to you.
This is the episode you skip.
You skip that. Nothing's real.
Nothing's real. James for five
Australian. I watched his EVS
coverage of the Mr. Burger
thing. You should watch it. He
made a lot of people new fans
of you. You're still your own
worst enemy. Yeah, honestly,
Ethan's coverage of the Mr. Burger debacle was funnier than mine.
You know what was really funny about Mr. Burger? You caught it
out. He actually was accidentally getting along with
you and finding you funny and I could tell it was like ruining
his whole bit. So he had to keep circling back and pretending
to be angry and it's like, yeah, but he he genuinely cracked
him up a few times and he didn't know how to handle it
because Mr. Burger. Look, all I can say is crack them up a few times and he didn't know how to handle it because mister
Burger. Look, all I can say is
I have gotten a lot of DMs for
mister burger over the last
couple days. He's he's got a
lot of ideas in his head and I
think we love him. Uh we see
that's the thing. I love mister
Burger but Brian Greisgau is a
filthy degenerate and don't
you buy any. He's probably
manipulating him obviously. I think he honestly, I think all these guys taking
advantage of mister burger. I think mister burger is a good
guy who gets led down the wrong path by some of these
psychopaths. Subscribe to mister burger. Say Vito sent me
here. I'll keep watching if you kick Brian. There he is. We
have we have to love bomb mister burger. Love bomb. He
need even though he's insane and that's fine. We need that insane man on our side. So love bomb
him. Tom, I love your videos. You should really get Vito in
here to do some voices for you. Geeks for Tuesdays. Everyone
knows Vito and Burger are besties. That's correct. Will
Schuster for five. I can't even pay my rent 10 days into the
month and somehow Vito is still sadder than me. Hey, Alex, a call to police. Okay. Pigeon for 10. Truly one of the shows
of all time. Meow Mang Chegs for two. Says, show us the
bathroom. No. Diamond G for two. 51 days until oinktober.
Let's go Vito. And John breaks bad news for a big $10 on the
board. Oh, my good friend. Yeah. One of your good friends.
He's here with ten dollars supporting the show.
Says, how the heck did Tony's head fit in the frame?
That's a question from our good friend John breaks bad news.
And Steve for two dollars says this has been episode one fifty point oh five.
So
is what it is. It is what it is. Uh look, we had some fun. I
think we picked it up. It was
it was slow going there at the
start but we found our crew.
You were in it. You were slow
going. Okay. I was fine.
Cuz I don't know how to run
these shows. I'm not I'm not a
host. You have to have a
backup plan. You can't be this many years into the show and not have a contingency.
The contingency is that Dick was supposed to do the show today.
We moved the show to Saturday, so Dick would be here.
You should make like a format for like, what do I do if there's a last minute
episode? What I do when there's a last minute episode is don't do an episode.
But the fans are all freaking out because Dick missed two fucking episodes
the last month. So I'm like, well, I better give them something.
They're all going to fucking yell and they all yell at me.
They go, oh, we're not going to show because Vito fucked it up.
No, I'm here. And this is what you get. And it sucks.
Well, I know it'll make you feel better.
J.J. for two says, please play the new Hardman working hard song to close out.
Where do I get that? I don't **** know. How would I
know? How would I know? Yeah. Why? Alright, I'll go to their
site. Is it on the thing? Some more super chats while Vito's
looking up what to do. I'm gonna I'm gonna see if maybe it's
this one. Uh hold on. I think it's this. You guys wanna look
at more Star Wars toys? I sent you the the the girlfriend clip
So everyone knows I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay gay I'm gay, I'm gay
B-do!
What?
That was you!
That's pretty good.
Shane became a cop.
I'm gay, I'm gay
I'm gay, I'm gay
B-do again!
In case my middle name, my first is also gay, yet my last name is the same, I'm fucking
gay.
At least that's what they say, my last name is the same. I'm fucking gay
At least that's what they say. Well, they see me dancing gay
vacate that grade Gay. Haha, poor dick. Gay sex is my trade. Bottom line, I'm not gay.
Don't tell my wife.
She's not about this life.
She doesn't know I'm with her.
Cause she looks like a guy.
Don't tell my kids.
They never would forgive.
They don't know that I'm the one who
gonna piss kids.
Don't tell the cops.
They confiscate my cock
And lock me up in jail
With all the early cons, tell the cops
I'm gayer than they thought
I've gotta taste the man flesh
And that will never stop
Cause I'm gay
That's right, I'm gay
Yeah!
Guess what, I'm gay. Yeah. Guess what? I'm gay.
Yeah, I'm gay. Ladies and
gentlemen, biggest problem in
the universe. That's right. ASC
presents, Paul, Brian, boring
Brian, boom Brian with the bad
books. The boys are better than
him. Boys are repulsed by him.
Brian was unlikable. Johnny Rockers five donation to the shrink Tony's head surgery.
John Brepper.
So Zito did.
As I am gay.
Unlike Gage, every time is Matt Barr's theme song.
Yes, if he was normal and not straight.
Guys, I love that I do hard men working hard.
Well, that I remember my pride Disney years were just off camera.
But yeah.
Well, guys, we've had a great show.
Don't forget to go to hack the movies.
Yeah, it is.
Problem is not subscribed to you yet.
Oh, you asshole.
We don't use this fucking account for anything.
But there now you're subscribed to yes
We recently it's boys month over on hack the movies. I kicked all the women off the channel
Oh, you were on last year's boys month. We did face. Oh, that's true. That was good
Yeah, I kicked all the women off the channel. We're only doing guy movies
We did what is the best Deadpool movie? That was a live episode and then we did a reservoir dogs
And it's not doing that well, so can you please watch it? I did that with Royce and Merche you get mentioned in it
You know, yeah, wait, we like to do the opposite. Okay. Well, you gotta add
Tony puts a million ads on these fucking things, but go check out his
Reservoir dogs episode. Yes
Let's see. Meow man checks his switch to a call in show. No. And pale pants. His dick is
laughing at veto spilling a soda right now. Nick spills on his
show. Dick has spilled on the show before. All right guys.
Don't forget to have fun. Take yourself and subscribe to mint
mobile. Hack the movies. Who cares? All right. Bye. Bye. Dick will return.
Somehow Dick returned.
Why did you, you fucking asshole? Why would you end it on just my stupid face?
End the stream.