The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 156

Episode Date: September 14, 2024

Uh... uh... OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- Starting! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- littering aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa- great. You were in here not so long ago, about five days ago. Yeah, we did a great show. It was one of the best. It was one of the best. We had good problems. Oh no, I mean my show. Oh, your show. Yeah, that was one of the best. That was a good one too. That was one of the best probably in podcasting history. Well, it made a lot of content for people, and that's what's important. Not only do we benefit ourselves, but we benefit the wider community. Yeah, that's true.

OK, do you want to start the show? Yeah, sure. Why not? Sorry we're late, everyone. Where is? Oh, no, that's not nice. Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from rats that think they're

clever to moles that are lost forever. I'm your host Dick Masterson. Joining me as always, Just in the nick of time You know just well do you some traffic? What are you gonna do not Taylor from PKA? You know he he volunteered to fill in fucking the scab Coming by trying to take my spot and then things kind of changed in an instant. It was like never mind. I'm coming in Like that that's a good snap. I'm not letting Taylor take this seat. I know I see that sneaky little He's like I got to get off this pka shit

He's like I gotta get out of here I got to figure out a lifeline once this thing crashes into the ground didn't he steal wings his spot on pka exactly He's a podcast theft mastermind so you saw that happening and you're like, wow, I wanna be wings. The second Taylor tries to swoop in, that's when you know you're in a bad... Everybody loves Taylor. What's that about? Well, he's really nice to people. Yeah.

But like, they fucking love him. Yeah, if you're just funny and nice, people love you. Yeah, but that's... come on. That's it. That's all you gotta do is... Just funny and nice, people love you. Yeah, but that's... Come on. That's it. That's all you gotta do is... Just funny and nice? It's too much.

Yeah, if you say mean things, you just hit delete instead of send. Well, I think sometimes you say mean things, that's a part of the comedy world. I'm sure Taylor said mean things before. No, he's just a nice guy. He's a nice, positive guy, tells you where to buy dick-shootin' pills.

Yeah, for your semen and stuff We gotta get some endorsements on Who are you gonna sell them to what all the people that you who pissed off? And I didn't piss off that many people and I want them all back because I'm always always what I always pop back up That apology on Twitter. I don't remember any apology. I remember a statement of facts I guess clearing of the air. Oh If you did you undox mince phone number, I can't talk about that. What do you mean?

There's a certain There's certain things I can't talk about on this show You doxing mince phone number on the live stream. There's certain things. I cannot talk about on this show sadly But we got a great show and that's getting weirder and weirder it is Well, it's not getting weirder Pretty weird Well it's not getting weirder. It's pretty weird. I don't think it's that weird. Yeah it's pretty weird.

Okay so. It is what it is. My friend docked somebody's number last week, or this week on a stream. Oh man it was pretty bad. That must have been rough. It was rough. For no reason. They just went boom, showed it.

Well, you know sometimes I can't comment on that unfortunately. On the mystery person that I know who did it? Yeah, I don't know anything about that. Do you have a restraining order against you? would be ironic you get the restraining order against you after all this I Don't know I guess so Okay, I guess we'll wait for the super chats I'm excited for the super chat wanna know We're gonna be taking turns reading them this week, so don't tell them. What do you mean to tell them? Sprung it on them. You know, I

Want to be honest. I'm gonna read all the super chats. Do you still not get that? Get all the, uh, get all the- Straightforwardness and honesty is important when you're dealing with the customer. I believe the audience likes a little bit of sneakiness They like a little bit of surprise. This is me talking to the customer now. Yeah, okay I value the customer. And I want to be open and straightforward with them. I want to surprise you with crazy things that come out of nowhere. Lateness.

Well, I am late. I'm sorry. Aw, hell no. One. That was a good one, although... It's comedy gold. I'm going to say I kind of fed you that one a little bit. How's that?

We were talking about it before the show. Oh Okay, partial credit partial credit. I'm gonna take on that one, but I'll let you run with it Uh, I don't want you to dox my number. I'll give it to you. I'll give you the credit It starts with an eight Jerry you're more not Tom Green doxed. What was the co-host on the Tom Green show? Glenn Humphlick. Yeah, Glenn. Yeah, and he said we're gonna reveal his phone number one number at a time on the show And he had this giant board with the number and he flipped over the first one Yeah, but the rest of it was facing outwards on the MTV stage. It just faces out on the Times Square

So the whole phone number was out there the whole time. think ones like I've been getting a million call. He's like, well, you know, we couldn't have anticipated Yeah, people would just look up and see your phone. That's like good heart. Good natured very good natured Not like Bitch not not doxing doxing is very bad snitches got number two. Mm-hmm The death of the shopping mall number three. I thought that would be higher, but you know, I went to the Americana, you know, that outdoor mall. Yeah. And that's where all the hot chicks in LA are.

Yeah. I mean. The Americana is very popular for that, because they got like a bunch of like high end, they got like an Apple store, they got a bunch of high end fashion and shit. Partially, but it's also because the, they got a bunch of high end fashion and shit. Partially, but it's also because the security there will get rid of the bums. Yeah.

So you park under it and then walk up and you don't have to deal with homeless people. It's surprisingly nice there. Compared to everywhere else in Los Angeles. Yeah, so I don't know, I need to find more excuses to go. I mean, I'm talking about like enormous tits. What did you go to the Americana for? Just to hang out? We saw Beetlejuice 2.

That theater, so you went to that theater? I like that theater. Yeah, that's a good theater. Did you go to that Dolby theater or you just went to the regular one? No, I just went to the regular one. Yeah. Beanbag chairs. How was Beetlejuice? Was it actually good? It was okay. Are you gonna watch it?

Mmm, not in theaters. If Times were... Is it worth going to the theaters? That's the better. Yeah, we could have done a great review on really yeah times were better times are great So I mean the general you know spirit of America America's down America's really shitting all over itself America's being in an election year I gotta say there's a different energy everybody. You know what yeah My last podcast didn't survive the election. I know

Well, I think it messes up your guys brains. I think it messes up your guys's brains I can't even talk about what you're doing because I know I know you're gonna talk about it later, but What do you mean? I will get into your problem a little later. Okay, and then beanbag chairs was last. I went looking for a new beanbag chair. Oh, yeah? Well, you know, uh, it turned out I was at a mirror store, right? That's the job. That's pretty good. You got a, I got you got a sometimes you got a I get like heartburn sometimes. Yeah, and you're supposed to elevate your uh your top half so then yeah Standing up. Oh in like a like you get like you can get like a wedge you can get like a triangle wedge

I was using the bean bag and that was comfortable but medical bean bag. Yeah, I would need a medical bean bag She can heartburn Not as much lately. There was like a period of time, I don't know what was going on. Probably, uh, too much eating. I guess. Fill it up to the top like an off-board motor, you know? Well, there was like a period of time I was getting it like every night. I had to like take Tom's every night. Now it's stopped. So I don't know if my gut just hardened up or what.

Finally, it repaired itself. Okay, I guess I'll start reading some of these. I got a bunch of songs too. Fart noises. I got a bunch of songs. Zingler says, vote up watching a man drown. I don't know what he means by that. Tardy Johnson says, Vito's shtick as an entertainer was being a massive bully. See, Eric July, Netflix, protest, null.

Every fan of the show that left a comment or voicemail that went on for more than 30 seconds. He's an incredibly mean person when he's online and now that he's shown he can't take even a fraction of what he likes to dish out. I don't think I'm always mean. I think I'm mean when it's funny. And also when it's funny to me.

I mean there's certain people who deserve to be bullied you know yeah like Melanie Mac I will bully her because you said the F slur no because she's just a fucking idiot, and she says it in a gay way How do you say how do you say the F slur like in the most? I start with the n-word then to warm up And then I say the F slur and I cap it off with women with slurs wasn't that your problem? Yeah, and she's one of those. Okay. Dave says, my Dix Show subscription had run out recently

and I've been considering re-upping, but splitting my contributions between the two shows. I could just spend more money, but I bought a house in probably the worst time, so I need, blah, blah, blah. After the last episode where Vito is acting like such a girl about Riley busting his chops, I don't wanna fund Vito putting an entertainer in jail

So I understand not everyone is a tough guy But I can't really get behind this so-called man calling the police on another man. Oh, what do you think? He's got a lot more here. What do you think about that? I can't comment on that You can't or you won't I I can't. You can't because of your policy? Uh, yeah. You have a policy of no commenting about Riley? Uh, I can't comment on that. You know what?

Yeah. I hate to say this, but I think Riley got your gem. Okay. Okay. Reverend Scott says, in light of Vito's recent multi-tweet apology to the fans, I wanted people to know what song was going through his head before posting it. Peace and love, Reverend Scott. Reverend Scott wrote a song. Do you want to hear it? This is the song going through my head. Yeah Reverend Scott, you know, I love the fans. I apologize to the fans

I'm glad we can get this show back on track We're going right into it Why are fans getting blocked Calling Vito fat, okay Who's gonna pay you bills With no super chat, it true, gotta make that chatter baby I bet we'll see Dicks over

Before a comic Oinktober Who's gonna vote it up? Who's gonna vote it up? Who? You at home Yeah, you at home better Well guys, I guess we're jumping around. Are we not jumping into it? I mean, that's a lot more

Oh here's I'm trying to find a not negative one. We're playing voted up, but then we don't do voted up. Well, yeah, okay Let me just see if there's a good one. Okay, Vito unlocked childhood memories with Pharaoh Pharaoh already said There's yeah, I've seen a lot of people commenting that Pharaoh Pharaoh was indeed a part of their childhood as well. Yeah, Lieutenant Serge says when Vito started reading his fake departure speech, I said, oh hell no! That was pretty good. I got a couple people did not get the reference and they're like, wait is the show over? I'm like, could you not figure it out when I started naming people who have never had anything to do with the show? Cry For Don said I like the show but why the Tim Pool hate? He's done more for the Culture War than you guys. Was that a- was that a troll who said that? Did he genuinely mean that?

Yeah, he's- Tim- How are you- You can be mean to that- that fan. How are you listening to the show and going, well these guys are pretty good, but they're not doing as much as Tim Pool is doing for the Culture War? Yeah. And you thought that comment was gonna be like, well he has a point, good point. pretty good, but they're not doing as much as Tim Pool is doing for the culture war. Yeah. And he thought that comment was gonna be like, well, he has a point. Good point.

Tim's really helping us out. That's why he's a Russian fucking asset. Gossup says, Vito dramatically sucking up to EVS and then proceeding to call his wife a whale three minutes later is one of the funniest moments in the show's history. That's nice. He caught a metaphorical whale in the form of a beautiful woman. And that's what matters. Fuzznaut says, Vito's never swung a hammer, but he's swung a lot of ham to his mouth, he says.

I was swinging a hammer today. What were you doing that for? I got two hammers. Were you putting up a barbed wire fence around your property? Just nailing some things. Getting my, getting everything looking good. Onion Desi says, Vita says, I have no problem at all with Mitt and Riley. Love him, this beef is one sided.

Spends the next 15 minutes describing every way either of them have wronged him in the past year. I did notice that. Yeah, but you're not allowed to talk about that. Riley said you're not allowed to talk about him though. I don't know anything about that. I can't comment on it sadly. Are we doing voted out? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA What? Okay. Nothing. Alright. Nothing, nothing. Oh, you got another vote it up for me? Yeah, this is by Reckon. Oh, this will be a good one.

The Tuberforce or the 19th Amendment I don't care, just go vote it up. I approve of this Reckon. Veto, control your manic episodes Or the podcast will die cause of you. Yes! Go and vote it, go to biggest problem that shows. That's the website where you can go and vote it up.

You dumb vote beetle will go rape your little kids. No. My sweet goofy will buy me another membership. I don't need I was and hear me when I tell you this. Go vote it up or I will kill your family. Thank you, Reckon Good one. Tommy and pesos too. I know okay. What's your voted up? Well welcome to voted up guys where we read You're gonna need more paper that has already tore up past problems and put them in a new light

I've I've just added tabs so I can easily get through my paper dick from episode 21 You may remember the problem of dead celebrity endorsements. This is somebody dies and their image is used to sell products. Yeah. I think that problem should be expanded out, though,

to just like dead celebrity cameos in general. Because we're seeing a lot more of it in movies and TV, bringing people back from the dead and skinning them over., do you remember when a grand moff Tarkin actor Peter Cushing? Appeared in Rogue One a Star Wars story. No, I don't watch that shit You never saw Rogue One all that stuff is like trash. I don't watch any of it Rogue One was like the one good one. You should probably try watching why it's like it's like a war story Which is what Star Wars is supposed to be. Why? It's like a war story, which is what Star Wars is supposed to be.

I'll just watch a good war story then. I don't need to watch a bunch of gay nerd shit on top of it. You've seen all the World War II stuff. Now they got to start digging in, and they're like, what about Hitler's gay friend who built a flower shop and then shot a, I don't know, man. Yeah, all that stuff is like, it's all really culturally embarrassing to me.

That people consume it, talk about it, like care about it. Star Wars? Yeah, it's all trash. I don't, it makes me feel gross to be alive whenever I see it or think about it. This is interesting. I kind of want to like dig into this. To me, hating people in general and feeling commonalities with them well like that can you is this for all franchises?

Star Wars specifically yeah, it's worse than others cuz it's kind of childish No, it's kind of like a party to give up on it's like what's retired. It's retarded cuz it's like what space stuff Well, it's just Disney hiring random people to make like a different version of crap, and then everybody Mindlessly consuming it buying it whatever so before talking about it. Did you have a problem with it? No, okay? So it's kind of like a Disney thing No, it's just the The IP itself as a product I Uh, the IP itself is a product, I guess. It's been exploited a little too much.

It's lost any kind of, like, actual filmmaking magic. Well, there was none after the first. I hate talking about Star Wars. Like, I think this conversation is total shit. I love talking about Star Wars. It's totally fucking worthless. I hate every part of it. I like George Lucas and, you know.

Yeah, I know. The spirit of young Hollywood. Yeah. You like Spielberg? Uh, I don. Yeah, I know. The spirit of young Hollywood. Yeah. Like Spielberg? I don't care about Spielberg. Really? You're not big on any Spielberg movies? The movies are fine.

I just don't care about him. You see the movie where he talks about how his dad got cheated on by Seth Rogen? No, I would not watch that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! It's just Spielberg being like, here's my sad dad. Do you see that Will Farrell movie coming out where he takes a cross country trip with his trans friend? What does that make you feel? Like it's disgust that this is happening at this... I don't

want to put it in the... I don't want to use that word. This thing has been packaged and repackaged and packaged and beaten down into nothing until it's totally safe And then there's a tearjerker like there's like an amusement park ride And now we're gonna learn about how hard it is to be trans Yeah from a comedy writer the most mentally sick and deranged people on the planet Yeah, this is gonna be a real great insight into what women go through Well as I said, I think I responded to it was either Roy Royce or Mersh, I think it was Royce, because he was also talking about this. I said, here's the problem with this,

is we're gonna see all the like, enlightening, like beautiful parts of the trans experience. It's like, you know, I'm my freest self, and now I'm a part of, you know, and I feel like a part of something, I'm finally who I wanted to be. I don't ever wanna see that. Yeah, but we're not gonna see the part

where he shows Will Ferrell the pornography on his computer, you know? Because that would kind of shatter part of the illusion immediately. Why? What's his pornography? Well, I mean, a lot of trans people are looking, you know, part of- Lesbian pornography, you're saying? Yeah, sure.

That's what it is. What is it? What are you saying? It's a lot of like, you know, like, uh, guys, you know, being forcibly turned into women and fucked in the ass with strap-ons and what-like. How do you know? Cause, cause like, you look at like what-cause don't you see like some of the- It's not all of them are like that! Not all of them, but like a-

Some of them are furries and inflatable furries and scalies and stuff. More of them than we talk about, you know? I don't talk about what trans porn they want ever You know or like you know a lot of them are just like you know I want a guy to you know Go nuts on me everybody wants that I don't want that's why I can do whatever I want Everyone's like damn that guy fucks like a demon. He could do whatever he wants. I guess I don't want a guy to go nuts on me The point I really did that's the problem To massive W's Riley he's a to Peter

Let's see Kevin Francis a friend of Peter Cushing has alleged that Disney did not have permission to recreate the actor's image with special effects for Rogue One. Disney tried and failed to have the case dismissed. So, basically Disney's saying that when they paid him for Star Wars, the original Star Wars, that they got his likeness in perpetuity. And they paid his estate. His estate only got... I wish there was like a... Remember like everyone was worried that there'd be a mass shooting at the Joker movie? Never mind.

What do you mean never mind? I'm done with that story. Okay. Interestingly, to use his likeness in Rogue One, they only paid his estate $37,000, which seems pretty low to use that guy's likeness in a movie. Some shithead. Who's some shithead? Just some idiot.

A Grand Moff Tarkin or whatever, who cares? Grand Moff Tarkin's an important part of Star Wars canon. Everybody loves Tarkin. Fucking kids are shit about that. One of the great disappointments of Star Wars is that they didn't make a Tarkin figure for like 30 years. Is this what the Tony episode was? Yeah. Just this shit? This shit is like fucking dead, is like So if you wanted to recreate a new hope, if you wanted to recreate a new hope you didn't have a Tarkin figure

That was terrible. Well guys, I bet all your friends on reddit really love Star Wars talk It's funny that I bring it up and you don't give a shit about it like that's the bit. I mean it's like you're talking about like the Dallas Cowboys like who gives a fuck. It's like your team I mean, it's like you're talking about like the Dallas Cowboys like who gives a fuck. It's like your team They got guys on them. They're good one year, then they're not like who fucking cares everybody likes to talk about Star Wars Well guys dead celebrity endorsements Currently number 145. Why don't you vote it up? Uh-huh dick. I got one other problem here This is from bonus episode 10 which was the biggest problem in fast food. And I think this was the problem that won the episode.

It's the death of the dollar menu. The idea that you go to the fast food and you used to go and they had the dollar menu. Wendy's had the best one. You get everything. You get a potato for a dollar. Now it still says on the on the McDonald's thing, it says like the dollar menu and it has a $1 symbol and people pointed out There's not a single item on there. That's a dollar. Oh, they still have the menu up It says like dollar menu $1 $2 $3

You maybe the cookie you can get for a dollar, but everything dollar store is going up to like seven bucks Yeah, the dollar store is dollar tree It's actually like everything's like two three bucks Anyway, I don't know if you saw this. I wonder how much lap dances are now. Last time they were doing, last time I went to a strip club, the lap dances were like, all of a sudden it was like,

like you're buying health insurance at work. Yeah. Like you're picking your plan. It's like, well, you could go here and then it's this, or you could go in the back and it's 10 minutes for this, or you get through and I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait wait wait wait wait wait I haven't needed to do like family plan yeah I haven't needed to do Dungeons and Dragons like stats maxing for a long time

it used there was a period in strip clubs where it was real easy to figure out what I get and what I want yeah and we're not there anymore and I want to go back and then what are you doing you do you ever like throw dollars at strippers and you just only get the dances? I just throw quarters at them. Yeah. Double A batteries. No.

You take these home, put them in your remote. Well, Dick, I don't know if you saw McDonald's new $5 meal deal. Are you aware of this? No. Well, I'm gonna tell you what it includes. You can get a McDouble or a McChicken sandwich. Which would you go with?

What would be your choice there? I don't know. What's a McDouble? A McDouble. Two cheeseburgers or something? It's two beef patties, but only one slice of cheese. And when they debuted this, I remember there was an entire ABC News expose

on how much money they were saving by taking a piece of cheese off the double cheeseburger. They were called geniuses for this. So you can either get a burger or a McChicken. Yeah. Which way are you going? I wasn't listening. I was thinking about Riley. I'm a Mcdouble guy.

I'm a Mcdouble guy. I was thinking about Riley fist pumping this car. It's also got a four piece order of chicken McNuggets, a small fry, and a small soft drink. Okay. And not the dollar menu exactly, but McDonald's says they will be keeping the five dollar meal deal until December. Okay. And you gotta vote it up. The tuber horse or the 19th amendment. I don't care. Just go.

Oh boy. You don't know this song at all. No control. You never watch Evangelion podcast. We'll die. He's a fan of yours. That's how you've got it. That's why you can't block him for an hour.

God man. You don't understand what blocking is. I apologize. for an hour! Whoa, God, man, you don't understand what blocking is to us. I've apologized. You remember when Susan with Jackie died and I laughed for like a week and a half straight? Yeah. White think that is. That amount of hate that I have in my Susan Badlini

is like I'm banned. And she got banned? I got banned. Yeah, you got banned. So I, ah, just stores in there like Hamas. Like Israel banned Hamas from their homes. You know? They banned Palestine.

I gotta turn off my phone. That's what happened with them. I know! Nobody likes it. You get it? I've learned some things. You get it? I've learned about the world.

And I love everyone. I didn't read your apology. I thought we would read it on the show if somebody super chatted enough. There's no apology. What are you talking about? Oh, there's not an apology? I don't know. I don't think of it read your apology. I thought we would read it on the show if somebody super chatted enough. Well there's no apology. What are you talking about? Oh, there's not an apology? I don't know. I don't think of it as an apology. Why? It doesn't cost anything. It's free to say something as an apology.

It's more like just like my thoughts. I guess I probably said I'm sorry which makes it an apology, right? Okay. Alright. So wait, you won? Yeah, yeah. Alright, so wait, you won? Yeah, yeah. My problem is people who are eating cats and dogs. People who are eating cats and dogs.

How about this one? They're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats. Eat the cat, eat the cat. Do you need anything more than this? What do you like? You with this. Eat the cat, eat, eat the cat. What is this? Do we need anything more than this? What do you like? You like this? Eat the cat, eat, eat the cats. This sucks.

They're eating the dogs, they're eating the cats. You know, they're eating the dogs and cats. I couldn't believe this was the one that went viral. You could make a better song out of that clip. You could? No, somebody could. Rackon probably could. Rackon make an eating dogs and cats clip.

Did you see my dogs and cats song? No. I put one up. You made a dogs and cats song? It was just me singing. Ohhhh. I sang in the car about the dogs and the cats. It sound like this?

Nah. Like that? Eat the cats? What do you think about that? What do I think about what? This fucking hot jam man, this fucking beat Sucks It's awesome Look I love the viral song You want cats to get eaten?

I like the songs where you take a sound clip and you make a song That one just... Do you want cats to be eaten? Yes or no? No Then you gotta vote for Trump Cause they're fucking eating the cats and dogs. He's not eating the cats and dogs. They're eating the pets. People are eating the cats and dogs and pets. Where are they doing that?

Where do you want them to be doing it? No, no, no, but where did Trump say- Do you want them to be doing it in America? Then you gotta vote Trump. But where did Trump say they're doing it? On TV. He saw them. He's seen them. They're eating the cats. In Springfield, my friend. They're eating the cats.

They're eating the fuckin' dogs. The tomb was empty. You know what happened when Jesus' disciples went to the tomb? What is this? And they moved the big rock. Can you just do the problem? You play some stupid song. I need to get you your groove back.

Riley took your gym. I'm trying to find the gym. My groove is fine. I just, OK, who's eating the cats and the dogs? Doesn't matter. They're being eaten. True or false? Somebody's eating the cats and the dogs? Doesn't matter. They're being eaten. True or false? Somebody's eating the dogs and the cats.

Can you say without a doubt? Sure. With 100% certainty. The Chinese. We talked about this on the China episode. And we don't want that. We don't want that. We don't like the Chinese, right? Because they eat the dogs and the cats.

I like some Chinese. You don't like any Chinese. Not a one. I don't like any Chinese not a one I don't even eat Chinese food those fat wash pins you made were made in China hate to tell you They didn't tell me that the ink wouldn't fill I had to throw away half of them because the ink didn't fill in the Fat watch and then I said why don't you tell me it's too small? She goes I said it's fucked up. It didn't fill in the fat watch letters. She goes all right too small That's why I'm like why don't you fucking tell me it's too small?

I couldn't see. At least she got a good price on him I imagine Well, it's double price cuz I had to throw half of them away. So it's not a good price in the end. I'm sorry It's not your fault. Yeah, I don't know I didn't oversee this I should have asked I should have asked, you know, is it gonna be fucked up in any way? Yeah, and they would have said yes, it is gonna be fucked up because the letters are too small. I said okay You're gonna have to throw half of them away. That's on them. That's their fault anyway So Chinese people are eating cats and dogs in China. You know where else they eat cats and dogs? Where is that? certain African countries

certain African countries? certain African countries Yeah Ghana mm-hmm Cameroon Google told me this so I know it's been fact-checked by true American Patriots I know nothing about Cameroon Cameroon yeah, do you know about Africa? Yeah now you know about Cameroon I remember as I would play the soccer game on NES and I felt Cameroon was the best team I'm like, yo Cameroon. Cause they're charging up with cats, eating cats and dogs. I'm like, that's why. Why's Cameroon so fucking fast? Yeah, they got cat. We don't want cat eating and dog eating right? Because if you're eating cats and dogs, you're probably

Fucking up everything else that we got to. Cat eating and dog eating I'm very much against. You're probably shitting it like Metallica They would say, we don't want any brown M&Ms on the writer, right? Cause then if they went there and there was no brown M&Ms, they'd say, okay, they did everything on the writer, right? Right, right. So if you're eating cats and dogs, you're probably- You're not paying attention to the humanity rider.

To music on your speaker phone, on the bus, like you're probably talking in places that you're not supposed to be talking in. your problem is eating cats and dogs my problem is this one eating the dogs eating the dogs why do you know You know it's a banger too! No it's really not. It's like... I'm not even saying I'm offended by the song, just the beat is fucking terrible. Oh! It gets the point across though. That they're eating the cats and the dogs.

Who is they? Glad you asked. There is a country known as Haiti. Do you know where the Haitians come from? A shithole. Well, Haiti's a shithole, yeah. I have a whole history lesson too. Isn't that what Trump said? Haiti's a shithole. He said shithole countries, right? He was talking about more than Haiti. Was he talking about Haiti? It was Haiti though. No, he was talking about everywhere. He was talking about more than Haiti. Was he talking about Haiti? It was Haiti though. No, he was talking about it everywhere. He was talking about all of South America and Venezuela. Haiti, Haitians are from slaves were brought there.

Guess where they were from, those slaves? It's not the country that's all slaves though, right? Ghana. Yeah. Yeah, there's no,they were all brought there. Haiti was all brought there from slaves. But there was a country that was specifically founded by American slaves who went to... Liberia? That's what it is.

No, Liberia was Abraham Lincoln's plan to send him back. Don't teach about that plan though. Wait, did Abe have a hand in that? Yeah, that was his plan. We gotta ship him back. Guys, we gotta set him free and ship him back. Give him him free and ship him back a boat you're gonna pay for it Oh fuck you. We're not paying for this shit and everything has worked out swimmingly since Liberia

Then here's what else so you following me the eating dogs and cats and hey I'm talking about Haiti in Africa in this little armpit of Africa sure Haitians are from this little part of Africa, right? Dick is currently making a circle in the air for those of you listening to the audio. Haitian culture, last bit of Google, Google said this, Haitian culture is influenced by West African culture, especially pre-colonial Benin. So there are a lot of cats. Do you know what that means? No, go ahead. They're eating the dogs. I swear to God. Eat the? No, go ahead. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. I swear to God.

Eat the cat. Eat, eat the cat. They're eating the dogs and the cats. So native Haitians in Haiti are eating the dogs and eating the cats. Gobbling them up. They're gobbling them up. A lot of cats in Africa? Less than it used to be, because they're all fucking gobbling them up.

That's why the cats had to get so big, like lions, so they'd get eaten by little, you know, guys chasing them down. I'm sure, look, sure look like here's here's what you're a denier You're a science denier because everybody's going oh, you don't think any Haitian person ever ate a cat I'm sure in Haiti cats and dogs are crazy. They're poor people not cuz they're poor why not cuz they just like it Dirt and shit who knows what's going on there They don't like eating dirt. You think they have Halloween. No, they love eating dirt. No, that's not true. They have pika They love it the Haitians do black people in general. They have like a thing They're eating they like cornstarch and shit. I know that I know dirt. They like eating that they like to feel I'm not knocking them

I know well, you should knock like eating that they like to feel I'm not knocking them I know well you should knock them don't eat dirty fucking now you get like like clay you can get like upscale like Process I've seen I see everybody though is like posting the video of them eating dirt cookies And I go, but they're not if you watch them eat it none of them are like smiling and happy It's literally just we need to fill our stomach smiling and happy you smiling and happy when you're eating? Cause we're hungry all the time. No, they love it. They don't love it. They sing happy birthday. They interview them and they're like, how do you like those dirt cookies? And they're like, well they're fucking terrible.

Bro, that's a luxury. They're out there fucking chewing on cats and shit. A dirt cookie is literally not a luxury. A dirt cookie is not. It is. It is. Those chicks in that video buy that dirt. It's nice dirt they buy on credit. It is nice dirt. You can't just walk outside in Haiti and get a handful of edible dirt. It's full of fucking cat blood and chemicals and shit. Cat shit. You gotta get some really fine dirt. 50 to 95 percent of Haiti practice at least some aspects of voodoo.

You know what they do in voodoo? They kill and eat the cats and the dogs. Is that actually a part of Voodoo? Yeah. Well, yes, I know because they do that sick shit in Santeria too. That's part of the problem is white people are like, Whoa, do they really do this?

And I'm like, uhh, Mexicans do that so... I mean... What the fuck? I think you fiddled it off. I didn't touch it! Dude, this thing's loose as hell. Yeah, you've been fiddling with it over there. I fucking touched it. You got it?

No. You gotta unscrew it first. I know, I did. Okay, it sounds like you got it. That was wild and wacky. Okay. Okay, so Haitians are eating cats and dogs in Haiti. And in the US. And in the US, okay.

And what stats do you have on that? It's happening all over. Name a state. California. It's happening there. Colorado. It's happening there. Arizona. It's happening there. North Dakota. Here's the stat.

I want zero eating cats and dogs. You want zero eating cats and dogs. You want zero eating cats and dogs? How does that sound? You agree with that, right? I think we should let some states do it like South Dakota. You can't get a handle on those people. People walking around nabbing pets out of the yard? You know you don't even own cats. When Riley said he was gonna free all your cats, he could have done that. Because they're not owned. They're nomadic, like legally. Hmm. Here's another one. Violent crime, including murder, armed robbery, kidnapping, assault, sexual assault, and carjacking.

It goes Venezuela, most. Papua New Guinea, second most. Afghanistan, third most. Haiti, fourth most. Haiti's the fourth most of what? All that stuff I just said. Well, no, what would you lead it in with? Violent crime, murder, armed robbery, kidnapping. In all of Africa? Property damage, theft. I know you lead it in with violent crime murder armed robbery kidnapping?

In all of Africa property damage theft. I know you don't like that. No and overall in the world Haiti is the fourth most country for violence. Did you not know that yeah, why would I know that? I don't fucking know I mean you're saying they're not eating dogs and cats. I didn't say what did I say? They're not eating dogs guys. I literally agreed with you. They're eating What is the 78.3? What does that mean? Per capita? Per capita, yeah. Of crime? Of crime, yeah.

Well, wait, 78.3 out of a thousand will commit a crime? What does that mean? It's just crime, man. You just got numbers and you didn't even figure out what the fuck they are. It's fucking crime score. What do you need? What is the 78.3? Why would you need to know that? It's the fourth most of violent crimes and those are all the guys so it's specifically violent crimes Well, yeah So I would imagine it's victims of violent crimes 78.3 out of a thousand will experience a violent crime

What does that matter? It's interesting to know what the fuck the number is you just go there the fourth Yeah, the fourth of violence How many people are being victimized? The perspective is one, two, three, four. Is Haiti. Let me see. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It says Haiti.

It says Haiti is the fourth most. Look it up on fucking, look it up later on the world. What do you think? It's great down there? They're living, it's a shithole with a 70 IQ. It's fucking, or 68. I'm not allowed to talk about IQ on this, you know. They should be proud of it. Why? Proud of who you are.

Yeah, sure. I didn't do it. Okay. It's cause of systemic racism. Look, nobody wants anybody to eat cats and dogs. I get it. So we gotta get rid of that shit. Please Ryan. Couldn't you get another- there's like a bunch of remixes. You only got one. They're eating the dogs. They're eating- Dogs are you get another there's like a bunch of remixes you only got one? It's the best one I Got a bunch of like history lesson in Haiti, but I don't know. Well, it sounds like I made my point I promise Haiti No

Well, he brought a violent crime That's not that's not part of the stats the US stats is not eating cats and dogs completely irrelevant You know how you know how in the crayons are on the box and the colors rub together you're like oh shit What is this? What is this color? What color is this? Yeah? Hey Katie get out of here go back on your own thing there I don't want to eat any this this one doesn't want to eat any cat wait hold on There's a box of crayons What are the different crayons like what one of them color one of them color in the box, okay? Yeah, they had a bunch of I mean, I don't know they've had a did you know this they had a guy

Running Haiti after 150 years. They finally got independent. Yeah, or wait they got independent They got independent and then they owed the bank 150, or 21 billion dollars in today's money. I'll just do today's money. Jesus. Isn't that nice of the bank? So the bank's been raping them for 150 years. Yeah.

So they came, they got a bunch of slaves. Loaning them money to build infrastructure or what? Just loaning them money? Just a ransom for them, for their freedom. Okay, you're free, but we gave you about $20 billion, so you owe us, which was like 90% of their income at the time, the whole country, keeping them like dirt poor, right?

Then the second day, France said, that was a dick move of us, we're just gonna go ahead and wipe the debt off. We're not gonna pay you back, we're gonna wipe it off. Then they got a guy, Papa Doc, who ran on black nationalists, black nationalism. Yeah. And he established death squads. Ran for president? President? I guess you could call it president. More of like a liberal president.

Dictator. Death squads for his opponents and I think white people. They don't say that here but I think that's what black nationalists with a death squad does and they've done that for pretty much until recently. I'm gonna say again, it sounds like your problem is Haiti. You know what? What the fuck does that have to do with eating cats and dogs?

I don't have a problem with Haiti though until they started eating our cats and dogs. What does a death squad, was the death squad hunting down the dogs? I'm just saying from the point that they got dropped off there to now It's just been nothing but poverty and bullshit. Are you trying to make the point that Haiti, okay I'll try to get to your point which is Haiti's in such a state of disrepair that they're eating cats and dogs They are they love it. Yeah, so if they came to a different version of a six-pack if they came to a different country

They'd probably stop. No, why would they like if they came to a different version of a six-pack they get on to a different country They'd probably stop no why would they do that because because they're in a country Which is no longer dirt poor and you can just if you want to eat food You can just collect some fucking cans on the street. You know what that town in Springfield is dirt poor It's like it's like Devastatingly poor the town they drop is very no Springfield, Ohio. Oh, it's Ohio? Yeah. It has like, it has, it's like, it's like either a third or two thirds of the town is below the poverty level. Maybe that's the, maybe that's why they picked it there.

Now we will notice their cats and dogs getting eaten. But they are eating the cats. As long as everybody knows. They're eating the dogs. That's all we need to know. Vote it up. I will wait for one person who lives in that town to say my cat got eaten Shouldn't be that hard to find yet for three four days. Everyone's been looking for it and it hasn't happened yet

Yeah, I said you never argue with liberals on stats and facts and never answer their questions just one guy I'm just one guy why just one guy? Why is it? I just need to know one. Oh, fiddle me this. It seems like every conservative commentator is down there interviewing everybody who lives in the fucking town. And they're all talking to people who got their cats eaten. No, they're talking to guys who go, yeah I heard that's happening. It is happening. So why can't they? There you go, right there, evidence.

Why can't they? The tomb was empty. No, that's called hearsay. That's evidence. No, that's hearsay. Yes, it is evidence. Hearsay is not evidence. It can't be in court, but it is evidence. Okay.

It is evidence. Are you the guy that saw the Bigfoot? Not my buddy saw the Bigfoot. That's evidence. It's bad evidence. Hearsay is bad evidence. Well, I need my cat. Couldn't you find one guy who goes, my cat went- At least say my cat went missing and I think a-h-h- I'll even accept that. No you won't you'll just argue like

Oh, see that's what exactly what I thought. Oh They didn't actually eat their cat. I just thought it was Could have been maybe a tornado took it That's what it will turn into once you find cat bones and someone's trash after a bar wouldn't you have like it? Yeah, yeah, they did. They found them all over. They found a big Haitian- Big as a bus, rolled him down the street. Full of cats. Full of meowing.

Hahaha! They're still inside, he hit them all. Yeah. Okay. I've seen a lot of white women saying what you're saying. Oh, but actually it's fuckin' some other reason why! No, play your stupid gay song again. I'm sure everyone wants to hear you.

I'm done with that song. You don't wanna lead us in? I made my point. You don't wanna lead us in? I made my point. Alright, uh, here's my problem. I'm sure everyone wants to hear. I'm done with that song. You know what I made my point I made my point All right, uh, here's my problem. I'll tell a little story I'm talking to a buddy of mine who's been a re hitting the dating scene. Oh and Is it you? No, it is not me and

he Well, he started dating a girl right it was a girl who was trying to get a job. Is it a trans guy? It is a actual human man and a... What are you type? What are you fucking texting? Ordering a beer! What are you fucking doing? I'm ordering a fucking beer!

Okay, alright. I'm telling Riley to come. Sure. Uhhhh... What do you call it? So, he's dating a girl. Uh said sure. What do you call it? So he's dating a girl. And the girl is trying to get a job in like art. Like doing.

Pharmaceutical sales. No like actual art. Like drawing shit. So they went to like a game convention. Is she any good? Nah. She's alright. So they go to like a game convention type thing and they're walking around and handing out out like business cards and whatever else and I'm like, yeah, why are you helping her?

First of all, he's like walking around going. Hey, my girlfriend's really good at art. Would you like to talk to her? And I'm like cock-blocking. I'm like she has to do that. That's fucking weird But somehow make sure she doesn't get fucked by a famous artist. I guess so Well somehow he finds a game company and they go yeah, we'd love to talk to her and he's like, oh awesome Hey, this actually works. So he brings her over to talk to him and they're talking about uh, you know Maybe you could work here or whatever. Yeah, and it's one of these things where they're like Well, we'd have to start you off at like a low rate, you know, you haven't proven yourself but dick. Yeah, you know, yeah And they said, you know, it would probably be on like, an equity basis.

You don't really have any, you know, experience. Equity? Yeah. That'd be great. Right. So you'd own equity in the project if the project takes off, you know, and we'd try to find other ways to pay you.

But, you know, this way you'd be part of the project. Maybe we run a Kickstarter. You get a piece of that, whatever else. So they leave, and then my buddy's like, well, that's a great opportunity isn't that Exciting and the girlfriend freaks out at him, and she's like you want me to work for free What the fuck is wrong with you, and he's like oh, no. I just thought it would be cool. It sounded like exciting It's like a established game company

He's about like 30 30 something like 35. He's probably my last yeah He's got to learn real quick not to stop doing this 30 something like 35. He's probably my yeah. He's got to learn real quick not to stop doing this Yeah, so as I tried to explain they they broke up because of it because he tried to get her a job And he went he went I just don't understand Why you know I'm trying to help her out, and I went did you think women are rational creatures? Yeah, did you explain it? Did you explain your position to her? And she didn't... Did you give her logical arguments?

At no point did you go, you're right, and drop it immediately because women are insane. And I guess that's my problem. How hot was she? Eh, she was an all right looking gal. How hot is he? She's an Asian gal. She's an Asian and she didn't understand reason? I think she's't understand reason.

I think she's got half Asian. I think the. Which half? I don't know. Mom or dad. Mom, I believe was Asian. Oh yeah. That's that tracks. Yeah. Cause the Asians, if the woman is bad, they would just chuck them out into the river. But now they land in America and they could keep passing the insane woman Asian gene down on the line. So I guess my problem is men who expect women to be rational is that they get into a situation

and they're like, I just feel if I keep explaining it to this woman, she will eventually get it. And it's like, no no just just it's not gonna work it's never worked if you're in an argument with a woman stop you messed up yeah it's all it's just the only thing you can do at that point is go yeah you're right that's fine I think I told my did I tell my irrational woman story where a girl won't come pick up the shit she left in my house like seven years ago and I just had to go yeah it was like a disaster that's fine yeah you

brought it to the guy and all this yeah she's like just meet just meet my husband halfway at the mall with the shit I'm like no come get your shit yeah turn into a whole fucking thing she's like just throw it all out you hate me and you never like I've been holding your shit for seven years. For the love of God, you had seven years to figure out how to get it. I finally want you to come empty out my house and she won't do it. Do these guys talk to their moms like that?

What do you mean, like trying to be rational? Yeah, like trying to talk them out of stuff or what's the deal? I don't know. I don't know what goes on there. I guess, yeah, I'm trying to think was I ever The thing is your mother cares about you Any girl you date or marry?

They care about you, but in a way where they're like I can escape at any time Try it They can try it unless you keep them economically disadvantaged. Why did we ever let him get jobs? Used to be slavery it worked out really good. The IRS did that. Yeah, we were supposed to just keep them locked into, and then we gave them alimony and shit. Fucked up.

I did try to find some stats, but you know, for some reason scientists don't really wanna look into this, because they're how irrational. Well, James DeMore tried to look into it, and he got his life destroyed. Yeah, that's what it seemed to be like is that scientists are like, ehhhh, let's not touch this. Well, who even cares?

Like who would want to read a scientific paper on like why women are fucking so crazy? Well, it seems especially relevant now, especially with the trans conversation. Or there's a lot of people go, ah, transgender, ah, transgender women are the same as regular women. I'm like, every trans person I've talked to seems a lot more rational than an actual woman. Yeah, if a trans woman starts talking, I'll start listening. Right.

If a woman starts talking, I stop listening. I go, I don't think you have a female brain because you're making sense. I think they got a lot, I don't know, they got a lot, guys would go kind of crazy even though they have the military and sports, they can be assholes still. I guess women have like whoring releases, like OnlyFans and stuff, but society's generally

pretty negative on those. So I think it scrambles their brains. You think there's a lack of an outlet for their insanity? For their natural like needs. Well this study kind of said that one of the big things is that if men get into a negative situation They're very good at like downplaying it, you know where they're like Putting it down Whereas women nearly as good at it.

Women will come up for like 72 hours straight and they're talking about that's my vagina, that's my vagina, that's my vagina, that's my reproductive rights, that's my reproductive rights. Some men are able to move on. And some women just hold on to some stupid bullshit and what can you do? Women will give you the silent treatment too, like if you try to talk about something they don't want to talk about, they'll just shut down. I would love to get that for women. I love the silent treatment.

More of that would be great. But unfortunately you got to talk to these ladies. So anyway- Does your friend have a new girlfriend now? He's working on it, yeah. Does he learn never to argue with them again and not to be like their career advisor? What the fuck was that?

You can't turn a hoe into a fucking graphic designer. I think it was more that he's like, yeah, I kinda do want her to get a job. Yeah, he's not doing it for her. He's doing it like, here, get out there, go. I think it's like, I support your dream. Her dream is to not have a job. That's why she picked something that is stupid and unemployable.

Yeah. He, to be fair, he told me this story. Oh! There you go. Suckers. He did tell me this story. This happened about a couple of years ago. I think I made it sound immediate.

But he finally told me the story of why he broke up with this girl and yeah she did end up just marrying another guy and now he had the guy pays for everything it sounds like. Of course. She's had the same like shitty job for the last eight years getting paid nothing. Art that was her job? She moved on from art to... Interior design? Medical stuff but like the kind that you don't need a nursing degree to do. What? You know, before you get a nursing degree, there's like some medical jobs where like,

like heart monitor tech, not technician, heart... Phlebotomist? It's like the person who... Like the ITT tech thing? The person who literally just sits in the, you know, intensive care unit and makes sure somebody doesn't flatline. You don't need a medical degree to just-

Do they have a sign to do that? They just, every hour you gotta write down- The machine doesn't do that? Ah! I think they want someone there to record the vitals every hour. It does seem like something a computer could do, now that you mention it.

Yeah, well. So my problem is men expecting women to be rational. A lot of guys are in my show with like, I've tried to tell her this and I've tried to tell her that. I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, I really had to explain to this guy that I'm like, you're never gonna convince a woman of anything.

You gotta manipulate them. It also comes to like these social media dog piles where like a woman goes, you know This guy's a bad guy. This guy is a creep and I'm like you've lost Yeah, the only way to get away from this is just leave the room. Yeah, do you see Grum's got is like a creep? He's getting me to that. Well, not exactly blocked by but Jessica Nagiri, I think he's blocked. He's blocked by at least one cosplayer for being a creep He is a creep and he's got that little cartoon avatar. So you think he's cute, but he's probably like Oh the fact that he's hanging out with yellow flash. I'm sure talking about their favorite lolly animes

Says a lot about grumps like I sucks You see his video game because he's always talking about how video games need sexier ladies and everyone's like yeah But here's the lady and you're fucking a game. She looks like she's from everquest 1995. She looks like shit looks like fucking a Rune scape. I don't know what those references are. I know everquest I was in that Pilot early. Oh, you're in the early ever quest before and then I found then they announced that you don't get to keep your stuff When the real game starts, so I quit that was like like 1994, you were playing EverQuest in 94? Yeah. Nice. Uh, okay, is that your problem?

That's my problem. Cool. I'm looking forward to these Super Chats, buddy. Me too. You might have to read some of them. I could probably read them. I could probably read them. Cause of your No Riley policy? I can read them. Or is it No Mint policy, or is it both of them? I can read the them. I can probably read them. Cause of your no Riley policy? I can read them.

Or is it no Mint policy or is it both of them? I can read the Super Chats. What an incredible plan for a podcast of not responding to a topic that you're not going to talk about and stonewalling. Knowing that I'd have to carry the show through it, no matter what, and thinking that it wouldn't get funnier the longer you went silent, because Riley hurt your feelings. Okay, my problem is lingering holidays. I wonder what is a lingering holiday like 9-eleven we just had and then a holiday

Well, wait, is it no cuz they don't close the I thought the post office was closed, but it's not I don't know all I know is you get all day to post all the pictures of the buildings exploding and like Blah blah blah blah. you're supposed to do it yeah and then when it hits midnight that's the end that no more no more talking about take the decorations down no more look at this new shot of 9 11 that you never seen before yeah today i'm getting shots of 9 11 still that were posted today yeah and it's what day is it it like two days, it's 48 hours later. It's like somebody after Christmas, somebody says, oh, here's a present that I was supposed to get, that I didn't get to give you.

It's too late. Just save it till next year. You missed the spirit of the holiday. Shut it down. Is this all about 9-eleven? I mean, that's just the most recent holiday, but it happens to every hot like birthdays. You don't want women are always like, well, it's still kind of my birthday, but it's like, I don't want to see any more 9-11 pictures after 9-11.

That's when it's, that's the day that I'm, that's the day that it's funny for, and then after that, it's not funny anymore. It's not supposed to be funny. Will Smith fucking dancing around on, the World Trade Center's not supposed to be funny according to you. I know. Okay. What was I gonna say?

Are you, so are you one of these people though if they go, Hey listen, I want to have a birthday party come over, but it's not on their actual birthday. What do you think? It's on 9-11. Come over. I'm gonna, I celebrate my birthday on 9-11. Should we all have our birthdays on 9-11? You gotta do it before. Once it's after it's lingering. So if it's after the birthday, not good. If it's before the birthday.

It's fine. That's okay. How if it's after the birthday, not good. If it's before the birthday. That's fine. That's OK. How much before the actual birthday date? You get one week. One week. Has to be within the week leading up to the birthday. That's pretty generous.

Well, because it's got to be on Friday or Saturday. So you get one week. Yeah, I guess if you're next Friday or Saturday, isn't it taken away? If your birthday's on Friday, it's got to be on Friday. It can't be on the pre. So you get six days. Six days.

Five days. Is that right? I don't think you know how a week works. Friday to Friday is seven days. No, no, no, no. Because you can do it on Saturday. If your birthday's on Friday, you have to do it on Friday. If your birthday's on Thursday, you're allowed to do it on Friday or Saturday the week before.

So Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, okay, that's seven days. If it's on Friday though, you can't do it on the Saturday. Did you not know that Thursday to Thursday is seven days? It's six to seven, I'm worrying about the Friday day. You're in there. Yeah, you can't do it on Saturday. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

That's six. Okay. So six and a half days. But if you start showing 9-11 stuff, after 9-11, it's lingering. Game over. Yeah. What about a-

You get stressed out. Hold on, but like- You get stressed out. You wake up, it's 9-11, you're like, here we go. I'm ready for some hot fucking jokes. I'm gonna disagree. I think you're wrong on this, okay? Thanksgiving.

You do Thanksgiving like, is that another week situation? Black Friday. It's a different holiday. But you can do Thanksgiving after Thanksgiving. What do you mean? Up to two days you get. Of eating. Well I'm saying if somebody missed Thanksgiving, you can go, Hey, you know, we still got some food left over. It's still Thanksgiving.

No, no. You're eating leftovers. You can come over and eat leftovers. That's fine. But we're not all getting around the table. I think you could- We're not listening to fucking stories about what you're doing. I think you could set your Thanksgiving later on in the week and it's not a big deal. It's just weird. It's just a weird dinner. And then Christmas, Christmas you get like the whole thing. No, Christmas, after Christmas, the second Christmas is over, Boxing Day is another holiday,

but the second that's over, it's just your family annoying you while you're trying to work. You can't work because of all boxing day They get an extra. We don't celebrate boxing day. Yes, we do We just don't call it that everyone goes back to the store and takes their stuff back on boxing day No, you're an idiot if you take your shit back the next day Well, everyone still fucking does it cuz they gotta get it in and gotta get it out of the way Holidays over what was I gonna say? Well, what if a divorced family, you know Christmas and mom's house next day Christmas dad's house You just beat the kids and get it over with what's the point?

And then Hanukkah is the one holiday where they said let's just keep this thing going black light You know like black history month sure like let's do it all year long It is kind of all year long now The only problem is a Black History Month is a... Lingering. Lingering holiday. Lingering holidays. Gay.

What's gay day? Gay month? June? Pride month? Stretching into July. People are being gay all year. It's... Lingering.

There's a lot of like trans months and days. It's like you get Pride month, but then you also get Trans Remembrance Day, and then you get like Trans History Day. How could we forget? How could we forget all that great? Every time they do Trans History, it's always that one. They do Trans History?

Yeah, but like it's always, you're like, well, like who? And then they're like that one lady who made that music for, I don't even remember, just playing on a Moog synthesizer. I think did some film scores. And you're like, cool. I'm not celebrating women. Talking about too much trans stuff in this episode. We love the trans community.

Yeah, who loves trans? I'm also a member of the trans community. Riley really loves the trans community and I really understand your I Understand your struggle dick here. You want to hit a button? We really do we have to stick with that fucking We switch it up some This is like get you hyped up We just did one! It's time for the next one! This song means that the problem is over It's time for another one

Is it about comics? Is it about Maddox? Guess you'll have to wait and listen to see what the problem will be It's like you're not doing history because it's 9-11 day Will you stop talking about 9-11 for like- It's just so fucking annoying Of God Like 9-12, like, okay man, like, I don't really- We don't really care about the pictures of the Twin Towers, like, any other day

Just do it on the day, and it's over It's not interesting, no one fucking cares beyond the day Fucking stop And it's over. It's not interesting. No one fucking cares beyond the day fucking stop I watched a guy show how a steel beam when heated will bend You did that for 9-eleven. That's how you celebrated now. I celebrate watching metal bending That's cool, and then I watched some some blacksmith videos Watch it make some so you're working like like an army of darkness? Like building stuff to fight Riley? I would be... I would like if I could build weapons. That would be cool.

Knocking him out. I want to build a... What would be your best fantasy weapon? I want the gun blade from Final Fantasy VIII. I always thought that was the coolest looking sword. That little revolver? Yeah, it's got a revolver that you hold it And then you know it'd be so you'd break your finger. You would absolutely break your finger

It is not a good, but it's a fantasy thing You have to imagine there's some sort of guardian force guiding his hand that it protects it for I would like a device I would like a device where I could just think about someone and they would Stop not exist anymore. It's the death note I could just think about someone and they would not exist anymore. It's the Death Note. Well, I don't want to have to go through all that work though and deal with that fucking guy always there, talking. Like, what are you doing today? Like, I'm fucking jacking off in bed until like 9.30, bro.

Fuck off. Dick Masterson's Death Note would legitimately be a fantastic series. I would make that guy cry in three weeks. You gonna write some stuff in the notebook? I don't fucking know, man. I got shit to do today. Do you have a gay or gimp suit that you can put on? Then maybe I'll think about it.

Nice eyeballs. This is a pretty good bit. What about when that little gay detective shows up and he's creeping around and being spooky? Oh, that little weird guy? Yeah, L. That guy's cool. But he's trying to hunt you down because you're using the death note

I got a lot of people trying to hunt me down man Yeah, one more guy one more autistic guy trying to kill me. That's fair enough I bet I'll make a video would hang out on Kiwi Farms to get all his information The worst thing is that whore that was after him and that that's the scariest part of that series I guess you shows up like I love you. I don't think so. Keep walking, honey. He kept wanting to kill her, but he couldn't kill her. Sadly.

There were some complicated situations that prevented him from making it happen. Yeah. I hate that character. Dick, here's my problem. You ever go shopping? I know you do. You love shopping, don't you?

Yeah, at the Americana, like I was talking about. The Americana. You ever go to Target? You ever go to Walmart? You ever go to the grocery store? Yeah, sure. What's the first thing you do when you get there? I have to answer the black security guard, who's

always more and more friendly with me. Really? He's like, hey, how you? Gets more and more like a nice date and a nice guy. It's the same guy. It's always the same guy. He just goes lovely day to you too again good to see you Every story go to longer every time yeah, it's the same guy like Pokemon And then he goes I gotta go take my lunch break and you look in there. It's got a cat in his hands Deck the now what do you mean? No? He's from a different part of No, cuz see the slaves that came here had 400 years to stop eating cats

but the Haitians got frozen in time because of all the abuse from the French and the Death squads that's that's what I'm saying and that culture was not allowed them to cat eating that drove them. They love it They're in they love there's still an app. They're still eating the cats to this day in those nations in Africa! Don't you think? That's my point! Sure. I think they just like... I think they just have to eat, you know? I think if you gave them something else to eat and it tasted better than a cat, they'd go, Oh, I like this better. Not everybody's like you.

I think that the human... They just eat... You know, Mexicans eat pig's heads. You know that? Yeah! Cabeza, tongue, that shit? Yeah, Cabeza's good! Tongue's good! No, it's not I love disgusting I love cabezas chicken feet you know they chicken feet no they do

fucking disgusting that's why in your neighborhood there's a nice taco place I get a cabezas mulita the mulita which I don't know exactly what that's supposed to be it's got a tostada it's like a soft toast you'reada. You're eating testicles. You know, where they eat testicles. White people eat testicles, you know? White people eat testicles, yeah. There you go. Thank God there's a byproduct of slaughtering. They can just eat testicles.

They don't run around stealing them out of farms. Yeah. Chitlins. I don't know what chitlins are. Actually, they're pig intestines. Oh. I think they stew them up or something So it's not just about the taste

It's the culture. Well, it is the culture but like, you know Yeah, it's not like the Haitians have like a culinary tradition of like preparing hats lovingly with a side They're just eating spring grass and a lemon wedge. They see the cat now like're like, I'm gonna eat that cat. Yeah. I got to. See that dog? You know that, you know, in China, they're just stealing people's dogs with the collars and eating them?

That's, well, if you would, I think the Chinese, again, we talked about this, guys, bonus episode, biggest problem in China. They are eating a lot. Okay, so they are, but you don't think Haiti is. I didn't say I don't think Haiti is. I totally agreed with, what is this thing on the show where Dick goes, oh, you don't think Haiti is. I didn't say I don't think Haiti is, I totally agreed with- What is this thing on the show where Dick goes,

Oh, you don't even think they're eating cats and dogs in Haiti? I go, I think they're eating cats and dogs in Haiti. You go, typical liberal doesn't think they're eating cats and dogs in Haiti. No, I think they are, I think they are. Just more of that liberal fucking agenda. Get them out then. Won't admit that they're eating them. Get them out.

Every fucking problem you do It's telling me what my position is Dick the first thing we got to get him out and get Trump in there who? Haitians the people that are eating the cats and dogs and we got to get them out get them out get Trump in get the people Out I don't I don't think I knew you would say that typical liberal Doesn't want to get Trump in there You guys are driving me up a wall Here's the first thing I do when I go into the target go to the Walmart go to the grocery store. Yeah

Get myself a shopping cart. Okay, but Sometimes you get a shopping cart and you get the bad shopping cart and that's my problem Getting the bad shopping cart. Just a bad experience all around. Yeah. Well you can't get behind that one. That's too, that's like, if I can't shoot. You've never had a bad shopping cart experience? It's the, it's, cause the whole time you're going,

Oh why did I not just get a good one? If I had gotten a good one, I'd be having a much better time right now No, I don't really care about the bad shopping you ever go to get a shopping cart, and there's trash in it You know yeah, I'm so good Really I'm always disgusted by paper like how you gonna leave thing fucking trash in there I think you hope they got the cart wipes you get that sticky handle You're gonna get whatever the last person got all sticky on it put on there. You got my floor sticky last week Where? You were mixing glasses again, but not over the sink. Yeah, and you spilled and you wiped it up

But you didn't use soap did you? You're gonna derail my problem with more grievances about stickiness? I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying if you're worried about sticky shit on things I walked to the fridge. I was like Know where that is master of the sticky. I did wipe it up. I'm sorry. I was so so okay my bad Sometimes you get the ship shopping cart with the busted wheel keeps wobbling can't even push it correctly Yeah, and now or the squeaky cart everybody's looking at you like you're an idiot because the whole I mean I don't think that squeaky shopping carts in shit are that big of a deal shopping carts I think it's you just have a bad time you came in to shop to

get important items what are you buying to fulfill your how much food am I buying yeah do you need a whole shopping cart this just makes it it's better than holding a basket you use a shopping cart yeah how much food am I buying? Yeah, do you need a whole shopping cart? This just makes it, it's better than holding a basket. You use a shopping cart? Yeah. How much food are you filling that thing up with? Enough that I feel comfortable getting a shopping cart. Why don't you just get another shopping cart if it sucks?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying, but you're already like halfway through the shopping. You're like, well, I'm not going to go back and get a different shopping cart. You know right away. You don't always know right away. Sometimes you get halfway through and then that wheel starts squeaking. You go, ah. What's the deal? Yeah. What's the deal? And now they got those those wheel locks, which sometimes just activate randomly. No, they don't. I've had, I've had the lock just suddenly come on for some fucking reason. No, when? One time I was in a target, the wheel locked, and the next thing I know I'm dragging the cart through the fucking store and I left a giant, because the wheels were locked up, I left this giant black mark going through the entire target.

Now you're talking. Okay? Why would you do that? I had a giant trail of black rubber. Why didn't you just go get another cart? Because I was like- Instead of dragging it. I was like, this is your your fault target, so I just

the front Just go get another one. What if I leave it there and there's somebody fucks with it starts put shit back on the shelf I Was like no, I'm just gonna drag it to the front. I don't want to have to make another trip That's so paranoid. I dragged this fucking cart the whole way I left it a burning rubber trail Cause of your stuff? Yeah, cause I go, I gotta get my stuff I think it was more like I was annoyed and I'm like, I'm just gonna drag this fucking thing Are you a guy that like, when you're annoyed you hurt yourself to show like, you know, the man? Like, I hate this, I'm just gonna angrily push this an inconvenience myself

Instead of just dealing with it rationally. It wasn't a huge inconvenience. It's kind of fun to pull a shopping cart. And drag it on the tile? Yeah, well whatever, it's just like dragging a shitty wheelbarrow or something. Okay, that doesn't really answer the question. I can't think of a situation where I punish myself in a... A lot of people do. I mean I'm not saying I get a judgment I just I can't think of an example of something like that. Okay, you ever personify like a tool

Like my cock or like something you're doing like yeah Like you lose you keep losing the same screw and you're like fuck you screw and then you think about it You're like that doesn't make any fucking sense I mean, I don't know it's your head You hit your head with a hit your hand with a hammer and you're like this fucking hammer never works I fucking hate it like the hammer did it to you. You know, I don't think about it like that. Okay How do you think about I think I used to do that? I think at a certain point I said bro Stop stop pretending that these items are like fucking up your life for the items Yeah items hammery and really what about all the like what really was it wasn't hammers, you know

How often you swinging hammers not often? I'll use but again, it's like usually when I would like loot It's like when you're trying to like I like you're trying to put something on a shelf and everything comes falling down Yeah, and I guess like goddamn you Isaac Newton It might be like you like you feel like God's fucking with you You know if you have that Christian guilt we're like, okay I'm having a bad time of it cuz Jesus is mad at me. Is that who you blame? I gotta go to Bible camp and pray him into my heart

So I is that how you blame some sort of no not any deity not anymore It's like the cosmos you wonder if it's like karma or something No, I don't do is that what you're talking about though No, I what do you think? I don't know. What were you talking about? I think you just get upset and you want something to blame other than yourself You blame the hammer you blame the hammer god damn pierce spilled all over me like that Yeah, I'd say I think I did that more when I was younger and now I go, now all your problems are clearly your own creating.

How did it go at that? Do you remember doing it? Yeah, yeah, I remember when I was younger. How did it feel? Like... It felt, you know, annoyed. You're annoyed by... At the thing.

Yeah, you're annoyed at the thing. Huh, okay. Why won't this TV turn on? The TV's punishing me. Why is this thing broken? You know? No! That's why I'm asking so many questions. Here's a good example. Throwing your game controller would be an example of that.

Like the controller's fucking you up. I don't- that's not why I've thrown a game controller. I'm saying it's not always why you throw the controller, but sometimes you're like- Or like, hey, the- I don't know. I think it's something in the human brain where like you want to blame- Or at at least some people you want to blame something exterior yourself for the problem you're having okay? It's interesting well. Yeah, it could be or it's a psychosis. I think it might be I've just be schizophrenia. I'm not sure When you're talking to the game controller hey hey help me through this thing Mario come on Mario Get over that fucking thing talking They're talking to the game character

Anyway, my problem is getting the bad Shopping card on the table alright is that it? Problems are this bad shopping carts What was your other one men who expect women to act rationally? Okay, and mine was holidays who eats Lingering holidays like 9-eleven and people are eating the eating the cats and dogs. Let me see if I got a great song I forgot to play The dogs are eating the cats eat the cat eat the cat they're eating the cats. They're eating the dogs

I do it when I'm not even cats Like that, it's terrible cool repetitive Okay, here's a ghost so go to biggest problem Dot show no devote patron at time slash biggest problem. We desperately need your Subs. We had a big drop. It's an hour behavior last week. We have to do a... Well, we missed a bonus episode. Well, no, we did make it up. We've talked about doing this game challenge thing,

but you have to help me fucking coordinate it. I feel like we have to hit a breakthrough until we can get going back up on the upward trajectory. We have to do a bonus episode. No, it's got to be a bonus episode. It's got to hit a breakthrough until we can get going back up on the upward trajectory. We have to do a bonus episode. No, it's got to be more than that. It's got to be an emotional narrative breakthrough.

We have to do a bonus episode. It's got to be whatever the opposite of boxing up is. We owe the fans a bonus episode. We should do it this week. Whatever the opposite of building a wall is out of stones, it's got to be the opposite of that where it's like the Kool-Aid man. Yeah! I think we had a good show this week. We had good problems. We still got more more to come. You want to talk about Horseman? Riley? I want to talk about Horseman? Horseman? The Horseman comic from Eric Jalai?

A lot of the punch has gone out of it now. Honestly because... A lot of the punch has gone out of it because everyone's doing it. No because the thing to make fun of Eric about was his thin skin. Yeah. And you're like, you know, you can't, he can't take it. But... Yeah.

I can't. He's gone radio silent. Not exactly. Okay, here's some voicemails. I am the ghost of Fatma's future. Eto, I'm going to come on to your property. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I Disavowed that is a spooky ghost This one I want to steal as a problem It was the biggest problem the universe is definitely porn websites and apps that make you hit extra buttons

While you're jerking off. Yeah 100% true. It's purely demonic a couple of my old standbys were red gifts, you know like off reddit and chatterbait and Yes has become almost intolerable. Um, it throws out this overlay of scroll down for more and you have to quickly dismiss, but the overlay grays out the whole fucking image, just in whatever chatterbait used to always have to turn down the tip. Sorry about that. I'm going to work.

I'm going to work. Um, you always have to turn out the people of the government is not only will maximize it it's fucking there's a chat overlay that because we're not shut up and i don't want to put that you too even worse in for a mpc spoke but that it's a call video up and down the school and you can make one or just

like automatically auto played down to the next one. That's true, that's true! Death penalty is the only solution. And then I gotta have a branching mechanism in my head to find out how to get back to the original one so I can keep going down that branch. Next misery cannot take longer. Ah, good points here. This is why you just torrent the pornography, you have the video and you can watch it whenever you want. Torrent the pornography? Yes. I don't think you want to have those torrents in your you delete the torrent after you torrent it. Oh

Wait, what you torrent the torn and then you delete it right away the torrent file the but you keep the actual files Just pick a lady you like and you download her entire disc After you come I got a. I'm talking about... I thought you meant you hold on to like the seed file or something. You hold on to the... you hoard the porn? Your porn hoarder? You're saying I don't... no, I seed it. I'll seed it for like a week after I get it. No, fuck this. As soon as it's done, delete the seed. Cut it down?

Yeah. I mean... you hold on to the porn. Yeah! How many hard drives you got? Just, I got a big like, what do you call it? Like an eight terabyte thing. It's not all porn. Is it labeled porn? If I download it and I watch it and I go,

hey, you know what, this is not good, I'll delete that. Okay. Let's see here. Oh yeah, there we go. Even cats. Oh God, with this. Hey, it's see here. Oh, yeah, there we go. Oh, God, with this. Hey, it's Blake in Arizona. I am most of the way, she's a dick show with Vito on it. And, uh, man, I was very against Vito at the beginning.

Right. But as the recordings were going, man, Midsale is so fucking annoying, it's unbelievable. She is demanding a change in behavior from Vito that requires time to pass. And he is sitting there surrendering, but like a cop, she's just like, get on the ground, get on the ground!

Get on the ground, stop moving. Stop moving. Okay, what do you want? So you'll smile if somebody says something about them. So, Vito, fuck with her forever. Awesome, don't care. Love the show, have a good one. Okay, so you won't talk about it, but you will react.

That's good to know. Here's, I think this guy's also on your side. Hey, let's do a bit. I'm Dick and Frog Tony. Hey, Vito, you told everyone you know I want to fuck kids and that I hope that Riley shows up to this individual's warehouse and shaves his arm hairs and fucks with them consistently. I don't know, there's just kind of like levels of jokes and things like levels and I don't really understand it. They're just, they're just levels guys. Like, you know what I'm saying?

I'm like special, you know, just kind of levels. You literally told everyone you associated with, you want to fuck kids and that you... He's having the same mint problem that she was having, the growling. Okay, maybe this will be the last one. Vito, you have to have thicker skin than this shit, bro. You're crashing the fuck out way too hard for someone who is as mean and as callous as you are.

In the way that you talk about others and your so-called friends and co-collaborators I mean you're fucking ruthless man and it's funny it's fine it's funny we all get like that there's no back home but you do say some very fucking mean things about people that are supposedly your friends you have to have thicker skins in this shit, man. It's the fucking internet. You act like this is something new that you're just finding out about. Like this hasn't been happening since fucking the early nineties. Like no one is believing any of this shit except for you.

You are taking it way too seriously. You are completely lost in the thoughts. I thought, I love veto You're great. You're money to money hill it gets to you and it becomes real only for you I think that's what you're not understanding is that's true real in your fucking head Very true all jokes to everyone except you Oink oink oink you. Oink, oink, oink. Okay. I got your love sack over here. You said that you couldn't talk to love back.

And I'm curious how you were doing it. Were you like both in the love sack? Oh, you want to bend her over? She's in the love sack and you're next to the love sack to be very effective. Yeah, but you still got to... You can still push her away, you can shove her down. It's easy. I'm out. Well, what are you doing? Exactly.

You still got to get the right shape. Why not just bend her over something that's not going to keep changing shape on you? What was his solution? He wants you to bend her over the loveack and then you're next to the lovesack But you're not on the lovesack with her Well how the fuck is she gonna hold herself up? Yeah She's just gonna be bent over the lovesack? Just bend her over something with a rigidity to it

Like a counter or a bed Yeah Um, yeah, okay man You can fuck all kinds of chicks in any scenario That doesn't make sense to me Let In any scenario. That doesn't make sense to me. Let's see here. Something about convenience stores. Hey, Dick. Hey, Vito.

Biggest problem in the universe is going into the convenience store to grab a fucking cranberry juice and then some asshole buying beer decides to talk to you for about, I don't know, five minutes about nonsense and about the song Gangster's Paradise by Coolio. Yeah. And how it really is, not only a race song, but it really speaks to the youth of America. And how much I want to just go fucking kill myself after

realizing, I don't know why, you decide not to stop the conversation after 30 seconds of it, but whatever. So anyway, biggest problem in the universe. Love the show, go fuck yourselves. Thank you. All right, here's a pirate that called it. Yo ho ho, ahoy veto. This is Red Pirate Riley,

and this is your only warning, you scallywag. I'll be raising anchor and setting sail for the West Coast Yeah raising you got it property Very convincing pirate sir very convincing. All right last you want the reddit one or the smarter than this one I only pulled the are you gonna stonewall that one? No, I'm not stonewalling I don't I can't decide I'll pick smarter than this. Hi Vito, I know I'm a complete stranger. I'm not gonna pretend like I know you, but I really thought you were

smarter than this. I'm happy. I'm a happy guy. We got a great show You don't have to I want to have a positive show I'm having fun. I want everybody have fun I'm making a new sense all in the room. I'm having fun with some great problems this week. Oh, man All right, we're going straight into super chats then guys nothing else Don't forget to vote on all the problems at biggest problem that shell and we got to do a bonus episode I want to do the video game challenge dick sounds like he I mean It's just like it's so tense in here and in general that you could I don't feel tense. What do you mean? It's tense It's very tense. I know you don't I know you don't feel it, but Okay, I'm sorry. I'll have to be dealt with I guess is there anything I can do to make you happy

It's not happiness. It's don't it's tension happiness tension. Oh, yeah Okay, well, I don't is the people are gonna get that voicemails was like a those were the nice ones that I pulled out Yeah, it's gonna be was like a those were the nice ones that I pulled out. Yeah, it's gonna be It's gonna get worse. Okay. I mean, you know, I listen to the voicemails. Thank you for your voicemails I'm excited guys. You can find the way. What do you mean? You listen to the voicemails? Well, you played them I listen to them the one oh, yeah It was the yeah, it was the you can find the negativity of the voice You can find that well you guys if you want to leave a negative voicemail

I'm here and I'm excited for it. Don't forget you can find the vo The negativity of the voicemail. You can find the... Well, you guys, if you want to leave a negative voicemail, I'm here and I'm excited for it. Don't forget, you can find the voicemail link on the website. I think it's under the contact page. I don't know what happened to the super chats. Is that not them? Well, yeah, but it like stops it at this one. Oh, September 6th. We're way past that.

Yeah, these are old ones. September 13th. There we go. There we go. There we go. Ah, okay. You want to set a timer? What do you want to do? You want to daisy chain these things? Read it for as long as you want. I can set a timer.

I don't know. Timer. I'll set it like a whatever. Five minute timer. Yeah, maybe that'll be fun. I don't fucking know. All right. Koof for two. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Well, Koof actually made it first, it looks like. Good work, Koof, you got the first one. Dominic for two says stolen from Koof, world star.

Cardinal Cardinal for two, we love Vito. Dominic for two says fuck. Koof for a huge $50. Thank you, Koof. My God, I love Koof. But I have all of Koof's stickers. You de-wrenched him. I gave it right back. We love Koof. Koof makes stickers for all the shows. I keep coming across. I can take a big handful of them. Yeah. And I have a nice Sony television that

I have all the stickers from all the shows on it. I should take a picture of that. Yeah. Koof for 50 says the three super chats above me and every other super chat below me belong to gay men and he wants a Vito's booty. Oh, good. Oh, very good. We're getting a pirate early on. And I have a grievance when we get to the Vito's booty segment, which I will bring up.

OK. The malware for two. Coof is also gay. Don't read his super chest Dominic for 51 says cancel also coof super chats If you can't sell them hold on if you pay an extra dollar I feel like vetoes booty is off and someone's got to play another 50 bucks to get it back on well It's getting smashed either way He just canceled it. He's just take his wrench either get on the skill or you don't diamond G for two says do not come to vetoes property

Do not come J Rob detailing Ireland for five euros lads. I'm fact head cold ruined me great crack No, you're gonna lads in fact head cold ruined me great crack throwing the dick show I'm glad we actually got it in the end cheers boys. I don't think you did the J Rob Beach hook for shoes Is my property black crimson five Australian says thanks for the snacks. Thanks for not killing yourselves We should have snacks I don't know Pants for a reckon traces 3d assets as drawings refer to biggest problem the universe fan art discord channel I heard he was in Brazil working on Eric's comic

From Chile yeah, he did trace you okay. He traced dick. Wait a sec II I don't like vetoito for five bucks. Smollie Mello, we demand comedy for weird money. Dick Pinasecki for two, you better fucking watch it, bro. Smollie Mello for weird money. Dick may own the IP, but there's no show without Vito. That's true, I wish he was here today, but Riley has stolen his jam.

Do you genuinely agree there's no show without Vito? Well, any show is different with other people. So it would be a different show? Uh... Yeah. You would call it Biggest Problem, though. This is a valuable IP. If you just left?

If you said, I don't want to do the show anymore? Yeah. I would just have my Friday night back. Really? Yeah. That's crazy. You're nuts. Why? Just get a different guy.

And force it? Yeah, of course. Nah, I don't force shit, man. This is forced. I agree with you. That's why I hope it goes- The whole show. I hope it resolves. All 150 episodes. People don't understand. After the show ends, I go, listen you fucking Magatard. Can you stop with this eating dogs and cats racist shit? You're gonna drag me down with you. I, Schmoymelo says no means no, don't let Riley rape you.

Johnny Rockets is my, did you see the My Property Supercut? Yes. Did you think it was funny? I didn't watch it, but I saw that it exists. You saw of it. Go ahead. Pineappleman for five, I didn't see bag of Schmidt at baseball practice today, what the heck,

but it's probably because neither of us play baseball now that I think about it Has man again for two says I'm worse than Riley man up before I get motivated Has man for five says video didn't fight yellow flash. Can you at least fight Riley grape? Oh, that was a good that was a good she monkey while you're at it LJ clobbering over five veto baby. I listen to dick about angry people online He has dealt with more crazy retards than anyone else well nobody ever listens to me Whoever that was it's part of growing up turkeys realize no one will ever fucking listen I listen to you turkey sandwich for two says this little piggy went we we we all the way home

Race banded for five Canadian good luck tonight Vito make sure you're having fun. We have a fun show Vito, make sure you're having fun. We have a fun show, guys. Oh, God! I love how fun this show is. That's going to be the secret word. Oh! Fun? Ding, ding, ding.

Every time Eric July says it, I think I've never seen somebody have less fun. I'm having a lot of fun. I think the last couple episodes have been a blast. Bro, my show is like psychosis level. Yeah, well, that wasn't fun. But what are you going to do? Milk or cream for 20 Canadian, in page 27 of Dick's book,

he said if a woman was ever elected as president, he would eat his own book, just wondering if he's a man of his word. I have to. And Milker Cream says, also thank you, Vito, for Oogan's labyrinth that helped you out. Oh, you must have come by my whatnot streams. You gotta eat the cat. whatnot.com slash invite slash Vito comedy.

You get 15 bucks. Deluxe for five Veto comedy you get fifteen, fifteen bucks! Deluxe! For five, thank you Veto for apologizing to the fans. I don't know if you said you didn't though. I, I, I apologize to the fans. You're like the you're like the epitome of the man that's hugging you but he's also hitting ya. I think it's one of those things where if you say you're apologizing

isn't that bad? You have. I don't know how, I'm trying to not say this in a critical way. Yeah. You don't- what the fuck is that? That's your thing going off. That. Oh, oh, oh, stop.

That's my stupid method. I think it's one of those things where like people go- people look negatively on apologies, I feel. I don't think you can experience human emotion without viewing it through a television. Like without viewing it through a PR lens. If I apologize, like I get a guy going, you're a fucking liar, you libtard, whatever the hell. You are. It's almost like-

But they think that anyway. And it's true. But it seems like apologies in the modern age, like the apology just- it doesn't matter if it's on, it just pisses off people too. That's like so insane. Yeah, I guess. It's like, it's just like, it's such a long way of not apologizing. I think it's that I don't- Like apologize or not.

Well you know, actually, you know what Mark says is in the beginning when there's- Yeah, you don't want to bring up later that you apologized. I think that's what it is. You don't want to go, well did you see my great apology? Because now you're like, but you brought up that you donated to Riley's thing a couple times for points. You did. I mean I'm saying it I don't need you to agree. That's what happened. TheLocks4five, thank you Veto for apologizing to fans. I'm glad you guys let your YouTube and then he tries to get me with a TBF. TheLocks4 26 is my property and my Veto the Gay Team Guy song.

I think that's enough money. Oh, wait is it? 2609? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Veto the gay team guy. Veto the gay team guy. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Veto the gay team guy.

DEI rules. Veto the gay team guy. Veto the gay team guy. Veto the gay team guy. DEI rules. Veto the gay team guy. Veto the gay team guy. Veto the gay team guy.

DEI rules. Veto the gay team guy. Veto the gay team guy. Veto the gay team guy. Veto the gay team guy. K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, Ket, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, Fet, was never lost was eaten by Haitians Nate ring for 2610 thanks for the apology veto I might consider reviewing my veto file plus subscription if you can take a joke again and keep a good attitude for another couple weeks back-to-back team guy veto song please with the locks you know my god 26 bucks what can I say remember when this was the thing that pulled Seth Yeloff? Well, for all the other stuff. I mean, I got a lot of comments from fans going, if he plays that fucking song a million more times, I'm gonna off myself. But all they have to do to stop it is pay a hundred bucks. And stop it. So they don't really care.

I guess they could pay a hundred bucks. Yeah, I don't pay a hundred bucks. That's why the system works so great. That's why I made the system. Get it up as high as you can. AIM! Carrying out Anita Sarkeesian's agenda since 2018. Well, Abe Schmidt just...

Abe Schmidt for fifty! Abe Schmidt just got it to fifty! You veto comrade! Play the veto team, guys! Oh, now it's at fifty! So you gotta go above fifty to get the song. We're never gonna hear the song again! That's a lot of money to play that fucking song. Jesus Christ

By the way, I came up with that bit That making us- making us- my bits make us money My secret bits make people drop the fucking patriots We got the most super chats ever on the show where everyone was shitting on me So in a way, I think I've helped us making that money I think we set a us making that money. I think we set a super chat record of everyone talking shit about me.

Riley now knows how I feel. Someone you look up to and love their comedy, take their gem. Well, that was the Abe Schmidt for 50, setting the bar at 50. Zed at Queen Cell for five. I feel like after this episode, we should get a second pity treasure chest

for when Vito loses weight and went, okay, with this two treasure chest shit we've already said no. That's a Vito-phile! Zeta Quinzel! I believe Zeta is a Vito-phile. I think they want me to get two presents, but Zeta that's not the bit. Hazman for two, I have a great idea for a bit. Two men, one chest.

Zeta for another two, we love our Vito and our awesome Vito-Vitopia. Vitopia. V-Topia. Lauren Savani for five. Peace, love. Ha-ba-ba-ba-ba. Britsman for two. Troll and Vito is getting old. Let's go to Dick's house.

Craig VGS for two. Vito use your pedo pig powers to become more funny. WinkOds for 20. Vito being ungrateful on Twitter again. Sorry you have to spend Fridays doing a rinky-dink podcast with the $9,000 Patreon. We'll not anymore. There's no parasocial relationship. Oh yeah, you're parasocial.

I don't think you know what that word means. You're a clown and we pay to see you perform. Now oink oink. I do see you throwing that word around a lot. Parasocial. I can't give back to the fans as much as they're owed. It's not possible. I get a lot.

Do you believe that? I get to the, I feel bad. Like I feel bad that like, I feel bad that people want to connect with me. And like, I get a lot of DMS. People send me emails that are like three pages long. And I'm like, man, like I can't give you back what you want from this. It's not possible. And it turns into like, ah, something negative.

It turns into, it's guilt. It's guilt that you're like, I wish, you know, you always want, you know, you're the guy at the baseball game hoping what's his name, signs your fucking jersey, you know? And that guy, he's like, I gotta get to the fucking clubhouse. I don't know, my idol, my broadcasting idol blocked me on, and I didn't care so who's your broadcasting Tom like us

Do I know who Tom like this is yes dear dump that bitch blow me up Tom Yeah, I know he posted about Trump like four years ago, and I said who cares and he blocked me He blocked me and then posted a big thing about who should care. And I was like, ha ha ha ha. You're my favorite guy ever. But I think it's funny that you did that to me. I remember I got blocked by Red Letter Media, and I was like, no, no. But then I somehow convinced them to unblock me. I have noticed, I did notice the speed wobbles starting

when the parasocial thing started kicking in. And I thought it was. I've been talking about it for a while, though. It's not like a new thing. Yeah, but it's... I don't think you use it right. Like, parasocial isn't arguing with people and asking to stay at their house and stuff. Whose house did I ask to stay at? The guy in Vegas.

He offered to let me stay at his house. Either way, that's not parasocial. That's social. That's different. Stop using that guy as an example of like a random fan. That's a big exa... I've been talking to that guy. That's a parasocial. That's social. That's different. Stop using that guy as an example of a random fan. That's a big example. I've been talking to that guy. That's a different guy. I've been talking to that guy, right?

Yeah, but that's not parasocial. If I've been talking to him for a while, yeah, okay, obviously some fans will become a part of your life. They go, I like what you do. Here's what I do. No, that's not true for celebrities. They don't let fans even anywhere near them. I Have people who I was big fans of theirs and then you know

We connect it up and now we talk I don't fucking all I'm saying is I think you when you say parasocial relationships It's dismissive and it's then there's something in there. That's like short-circuiting your brain I think I bring I think Here's the reason we talk about it because I do talk to mr. Girl about this a lot and mr. Girl Oh, that's like putting your head into a fucking Cuisinart. Okay, that's the worst thing you can do any any parasocial relationship I've ever had pales in comparison to the people who have gone to mr. Girl and been like everything you say has changed my life We should start a religion together, whatever the fuck else, right?

Yeah, but he wants, he's also not parasocial. What do you mean? Like he wants a cult. He craves their worship. He specifically like turns people down. I can't tell his- And then he talks about it. To me, it is not public.

No, he's talked about it on my show. He talked about it on my show that he's gonna start a cult because people love him so much. I've never heard that from him, and I don't believe that. I don't believe that man has started a cult. OK, what would it change if he called into my show, and that's one of the things he said?

What do you mean, what would change? That he's gonna start a cult. I would be very surprised. Why would I know that? I don't ever talk to him that's not recorded. I made it up? You occasionally hear people say say things and then repeat them in a way you want to bet I don't want to bet. I mean if he said it, I'm just very surprised Don't happen I'm trying to think what I should bet. Oh, I want to bet

Oink odds for five odds for vetoes wait tonight weight tonight, over 294.5, negative 200. Under is plus 100. Bayes retard for two, Mint just mad, Vito has nicer tits, worst only fans ever. No, Mint's not, Mint's new pictures, she finally figured out to just put a little t-shirt on. Too mama. Matt Parsinski for 10 is Oinktober followed by November, also don't please don't read my name on the air stop doing that Race bandit for two Canadian you guys remember cool Sean that was a great good bit Race bandit for another two says I miss cool Sean Nicholas for five

It's my understanding that veto couldn't tell whether or not Riley was joking Riley's never been funny diamond chief for ten Please pay the Bon Jovi vetoes cat song in memory of all the cats and dogs that are being eaten. You'd have to look for them. Lay in steel for five, we must secure the existence of our Vito and future of our biggest problem. Disciple of Dagon for two, all greased up for some honey glazed V-toosie. Clip Sama for five, your discord arguments really help pass the time in college. Thank you Vito and Riley. They were great.

You guys were really brutal with each other. Grizzlers for two. I don't think Vito is a lol cow. He's more of a lol pig. Kyle Baxter for 10. Hi, Vito and Dick. Hope you all had a great week. Here's a little something in hopes

my favorite show sticks around, and this is all a bit. I love you guys. It is a bit. It's not a bit. It's definitely not a bit. SB for five. Currently praying for the swift return of normal veto upon Superkiller's success. Yeah, I think that's a big part of it. I got a lot of people sending me emails saying

they wanna get in if they, cause they missed out. So if there's something you want that you couldn't get in on the campaign, send me an email. Austin Nix for two, no one makes me bleed my own blood. Oink. Oink, exactly. Tom Smilvich for 15 ILS. I-H-I-W-M-A-D-F. Cardinal Cardinal for 10.

Veto files after all of these veto W's. I'm starting to forget what losing feels like. Maybe you never knew. Bob with a Cylon for 10. After living abroad my entire adult life and never needing to drive, I just bought my first tank of gas and I've become a presidential gas griper. Whoever will lower gas prices in 2024, that's Trump and he won't even need to get... How are the gas prices right now? I haven't

even paid attention. I don't know. Base retard for five. What is Vito hiding in his house that he's afraid Riley would find? Our brave reporter, you, the viewer, looks to the streets to find out. Frank's Lucas for ten. Bookie repeating how much he holds his medical records in order to stop the conversation and Vito repeating, property is similar. Is this a fat thing? Anyways, go F yourself. Love you, RSK. I did notice that.

Do you see Boogie saying my private medical records are the only thing I have? Yeah, I've seen him say that. Did you think like, what a fucking retard? No. You thought that's valid? Well, the only reason I thought he's a retard is cause he couldn't just say the obvious thing, which is... He just explained it wrong. I think he has cancer. Me too. But do you think it- when he said it like over and over and over, he's like,

My private medical records, like you're like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I guess that was stupid because he couldn't just say, hey, I have cancer, but like... Everyone- everyone that I see thought that him saying over and over my private medical records was stupid You didn't see that. I didn't watch that. I don't watch the lol cow podcast cuz it's those guys have no chemistry I don't get it. I know every show is like this show for them. No, what do you mean? This show has can you talking about you got fucking wobbled hard by Riley. That's all I'm saying. CycleNautical89 for five.

I am the cum king and you are all my very loyal and very gay subjects. Paging Dr. Eric Wong. Chud Bronze for two Canadian. Late in fact, what happened to being on time? Nucking Futs for ten. Mary Swine Timber Veto. Oink oink tobers just around the corner. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Hazmat again for two, Mary Swine Timber Vito, oink oink tobers just around the corner, thank you for not killing yourselves.

Hazmat again for two, my landlord's property. Based retard for five, calling it dick foiled Vito's attempt to super kill himself live on air and is searching for a new co-host last minute. I shouldn't spoil it, but I really did at one point wanna do a Bud Dwyer thing where I just have a lunch bag and I just pull a revolver out. You're spoiling that for nobody.

I really am spoiling that. There's nobody that was spoiled by that revelation. Sarah Seitzera for five. Jokes about property damage voted up. Weaponized Autism for five. I'm going to assume Vito's shitting and that's why they're late. How old are these super chins? Weaponized Autism for five.

Pinch it off. I need my parasocial fix. Craig VGS for two, New Zealand. Vito, stop jerking. You pig meat to Mince Fansley again. Fog Whore for 5, my name is Vito and I'm definitely not, you read that one. I'm definitely not an insecure piggy.

No, right from the front. Fog Whore for 5, my name is Vito and I, well you skipped it. Sorry. And I'm definitely not an insecure piggy, wink wink, man am I right. Strategy for 5, imagine a show that starts at 9, says it's gonna start at 9.30, but instead it starts at 9.28 and Chuck you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye you for 50 bucks. Wow We need like a we should have like a noise for 50 buck ones. We should have like a fun Thank you is the noise. I've hit it on the thank you. Thank you Eric July's favorite chicken something smasher head for dollars one dollar I don't think I don't know how you got that through you cheap because I guess there's no message

So Terry Hayes testicles for five by the time you read the super chat I'll be waiting in your garage going quick Brendan swarm for two So no Taylor lame Crabzula for five the 2017 youtuber Lindy Bayes rate $150,000 to make a graphic novel now seven years later. He's still promising his supporters that he's working There's some very late So I'm not gonna use that as an excuse, but I do see some of them like well They're fuck up that bad Jesus Christ. Oh, you fucked up bad. No, you fucked up bad because of the amount of shit you were talking

Well, I never but I never commented on time It's implied. It's not. I don't care. Customer satisfaction is implied. I don't care if somebody pushes their book back to make it great. Honestly, I think Eric should have done that. The reason that yours is late, like the reason Ethan's book is late is because he's drawing it like you're not doing anything.

Right. A different guy is drawing it. Yeah, that's why it's like not as that's why it's not acceptable for yours to be late, but it's acceptable for his to be late. I would think the opposite, because Ethan has- Of course you would, you're the one late! But hold on, well Ethan's late, right? But he's drawing it. He's doing the physical work every day. Right, he has complete control over every aspect of the production. Right, well it's his labor. It's his labor that turns into the book.

Right, and I'm paying other people to do labor so I really have to depend on other people. I don't have control. I can't draw it myself. You have 100% you're the manager you have 100% control. I can't I can't I can't just manifest it I wish I could go and just like draw the pages but I can't because I gotta pay. But your managing is why it's late because you picked a bad artist. You picked a slow artist. Okay all right you picked a bad artist you picked a slow artist Okay, all right. Don't do that. You picked a slow artist who wouldn't hit deadlines. He's a great artist I love that guy the locks for five if Vito gets replaced. I'd rather it be Taylor than Ralph. That's me for five Thank you cheese in my pockets of a Vita for two

I didn't know mint was doxed until dick said it Eric July for 10, Vito, what it is is we need to let binned guns be binned guns and what it be is teaming up to jail that individual forever. Michael winning for two, you did not in fact win me back I still hate you thanks for the two dollars. Captain Insano for two, Vito's missing cat was eaten by Haitians. Jackboy Jack for two, Zeta Quinkself for, well thank you Jackboy Jack, Zeta Quinkself for two, we need to protect our cats from these Haitians. Throbbert for five, if Vito- if Taylor replaced Vito this show would become the biggest foreheads in the universe. The gentleman sausage for five, I think the election messes up both you guys' brains but not me. I'm built different. DLK TDR for five Australian on the first day

of Pigsmas. Giswolde gave to me a comic that ripped off Deadpool 3. Just I've been for 10 Australian. Initially I thought Riley X Mint vs Vito was the mentally ill vs mentally unstable, but as Vito continued to play Kate and Warren instead of just hanging up I realized he is also mentally ill. LJ Clauborino for 10, have you seen the 2024 Paralympics? They have blind soccer and wheelchair rugby. No they don't. Funniest shit I've ever seen.

No they don't. That sounds great I've ever seen. Sounds great. Christian Hollingsworth for 10, property of my private property. YouTube personally broadcasting from the bedroom of my private property. A bug stuck in an interchalage shoe. Oink oink piggy. Takey the mighty for two. Team Guy Vito has defeated us. His team is right now strategic for five.

Imagine wanting to know more about the Riley situation, but when you ask about it, we chuck dicks we can't comment about in my ass. Nobody that true Gordon Shremway for five fat brain voted up Royce Donest Bailey for two thoughts on horseman it looks like shit all I saw was the trailer I think the animation looks okay Andrew Tarfer too I'm just here so I don't get fined Karen Karen July for five Vito I'm starting to like you again if someone someone makes fun of you online, then call the Bully Hunters. I miss those guys. Call the police. Jokes online are not funny. That's what I think is going to cost you the most is the jokes thing. Righty tighty, 91 for two. Just disappointed, Vito.

Frowny face. We all are. Darbus for five. Love you, Vito Hart. Johnny Rico for two. Star Wars Rogues one is trash, Vito. It's not perfect, but it's what they should be doing. K-Gone Pulse for two. Love you guys, Heart. Johnny Rico for two. Uh, Star Wars Rogues, one is trash, Vito. It's not perfect, but it's- Shallow characters and writing. It's what they should be doing. K-Gon Poser for two. Love you guys, no homo. Rex Sexon for five. It's really annoying that Reckon's name is so close to mine that I perk my ears whenever you see it. I always hear first-year jackass. K-Gon Poser for two. Biggest problem, having to work while hungover.

Pranat Kavaldi for money. Vito, why are you so horrible? Well, what can you do? Probably not any money. Eric Jules Shit for brains. Two, I eat poop, Austin mix for five, Vito's like Star Wars. I used to like it, I wanna like it again, but it hurts me and I still keep giving it money. Can you turn this AC down? I'm freezing.

Just a little bit. Andrew Tarr for two, who is Riley? Wildman for 279 Canadian. Mark, Anthony, Jerome, Oregon. This man is white by the way. Alex Reinhart for two, two is called the value menu now example What okay pay more if you want to say things wild mint man for 279 don't put don't put like Fucking contractions and shit. I have no idea what you're saying 279 Canadian one more thing Cassidy

Gabrielle doesn't like show who's that I have no idea is that a quick sell for a big girl How are you gonna look up Gabrielle go down Gabrielle no gas Cassidy. I thought is that what she said? Oh, it's a oh, it's a black lady, bro. Did you read that correctly? No, I don't really care. Okay Okay, Cassidy Gabrielle. I have no idea is that a quick sellinsella for five. Vito, how many McDonald's points do you have? I have 19,000. I probably have the same. Juhan Wong for five, Australian.

My problem with the Evangelion fans, say these words real quick. Evangelist, Evangelene, Evangelion. It's like a Gallagher routine, but for anime. Wow. Zedek Kinsella for two. My first year voting Trump 24, Trump's love is Vito. Utah based Armenian for two.

Who's down for a biggest problem? Meetup at Vito's. Dean Shock for five. Vito, you're clearly delayed in your ability to reason through situations, but I like your Pokemon tournament stories. Ever go to a Smash or SF local? No! Leo for five. Based hat

Vito. Root Boover's hat. Wow. Shitlips for five, based hat Vito. Reprovers hat, wow. Shitlips for five, my dog could feed. Ten Haitians is so big. Fans sent this in. They used to just send me stuff. Now a pirate has to give it to me for some reason. Eric July, shit for brains for two. Dick's cat bit has me laughing so aggressively.

Gambly Condiction, that's why. Austin Nix for two. Dick's vet, how many Haitians could your dog feed? Rex Saxon for two. Richard's breath smells like Vito's missing cat. Redis the riot act for ten. I think Vito won last week when Dick unironically called him mean. Not shithead or ace asshole, just mean. All above the magic pig bus. The malware for- I don't fucking know. Probably on your show. The malware for two. I said it on this show. You said I'm mean yeah

I said the reason why this show is because you're so mean I am very mean I agree Especially when someone's making jokes at you then you're that's the heart the heart of being mean I'll take a joke. What are you? I've taken so many jokes for like 150 episodes can everybody stop pretending I'm the most sensitive man who ever lived I? Let you dance as a pirate and call me a fat piece. I don't call you Audience does I let you do that. Okay, the mall. Well, you don't let us call you anything Okay, calling I know continue the malware for two vetoes bouncing leg mocked it I don't think that's true Johnny Rico for five

American there is no magic soil veto the Haitians don't just arrive in America and become founding fathers magically. They just bring their dog and cat eating here. They love it. Jeff M for five. Vito needs to wear the Sonichu medallion to lift the curse. He's been driven mad ever since it arrived. I do think it has really been mad.

It has powers. Tyler for 10 started watching after Vito's first PKA appearance. Vito's a class act for handling all the nonsense. Go fuck yourself, Masterson. Well, that's very supportive. I was on PKA very recently, great episode, go check it out. Dick was on not that long ago.

Somebody said that Woody put it into your head that you shouldn't let your audience disrespect you. I don't know. So that's telling me yes. Okay, now I gotta find it. I don't talk to Woody. Somebody said there was a clip on the show where Woody's like, you can't let the audience disrespect you.

I have never heard that. I don't remember that at all. Weaponized autism for five. For the first time, I actually feel kind of bad for Vito, but if you're going to snatch gems, it's only fair to get your gems snatched. Just I have it for five Australian. It's a gem snatched gem world. Vito, if you went from Porta Rich, would you never eat a hamburger or hot dog again?

No, I'd eat a fucking hamburger. Warren Buffett eats McDonald's. Yeah, that's crazy Utah based our meaning for two we solved the mystery of vetoes cat voodoo gumbo They don't have gumbo Yakama for five fun fact in Haiti cat dog aired on the Food Network Andrew Tart for tar for two who cares about Ohio Craig's VGS for two How many cats can veto eat if veto diddy cats that's a good one Jacob Wagner for five please read this on your podcast it's excellent really thank you Andrew for five nice dick brought in a problem that is a problem for literally nobody which one dogs thing they're

eating them sure you have a cat or a dog it It's gonna be eaten. It's gonna be eaten. It's gonna be eaten. You know, I used to just throw trash out, but now people are going through it. I used to be a man who could just have garbages in the street. Garbages are, you don't want anyone touching those garbages. Now you gotta watch out, we used to not have to lock up your bike. Now you gotta lock up the bike. Used to let the dog and the cat, here's who else who's now you gonna lock them up. You're gonna lock the dog in the cat

We don't have a big Haitian population in Norway They've got little babies and carriages that they just put outside when they're eating in the restaurant Cuz there's yeah, I saw that they just leave their babies like in the never do that. No, you could never do that Is people are coming around? Did you watch those PS5 theft videos like I told you to? I did. They're fucking hysterical. They're fucking hilarious. A black kid goes into the hood selling a PS5 and- No, he's just holding it. He's walking it home.

He's just like, oh, it's a PS5. And people are like, what did you get there? He's like, yeah, I just bought it. I'm taking it to my buddy's house. And they all steal it. Pull guns on him and shoot it. Dude, some of it's crazy. I'm like, don't get, fuck, I mean, hopefully they wouldn't shoot him, but holy shit, they'll knock him to the ground and take the empty box.

He goes, it's a prank, it's full of bricks. And they're like, oh. And you thought that was as bad as it could get, but they could also eat cats and dogs. They could rip the cat out of his hand. He's trying walking down through a Haitian neighborhood petting his cat. It gets worse, is all I'm saying.

Oh my god. Uh, Stray Beans, especially the M.O.W. for 10 props on Vito on the death stare towards Dick. Oh, it's in a death stare. I don't think it's a death stare. It's a stare of terror. Stray Beans for 3. Did you see my Vito vs Riley drawing?

Love you Vito. This is an amazing drawing I gotta pull up. Hold on. It is incredible. If more than half of the people in this drawing had a sense of humor about it, this would be one of the coolest pieces of fan art that they would ever have gotten. Let me see here. Come on, come on, come on, this one, this one, this one.

This is incredible. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Look at that. So that's Wolverine. And I think in the original, it's in, it's Deadpool in the reflection. Vito is stonewalling it. He doesn't realize that I do a show every week where I basically talk to myself

with another guy stonewalling me for three hours. This is Riley. You're saying Sean stonewalls you? I'm sorry, did you say something? Did you wanna chime in suddenly? Here's Riley here. This is the famous Wolverine comic. And then here's Vito getting his gem stolen

in the reflection in the blades as Deadpool. That's amazing, Stray Beans. Thank you. I'll thank you, Vito's too, and his feelings to thank you. But that was incredible. Thank you. Kagon Pozel for two says,

"'Pornography' is the answer." Kagon Pozel for another two says, "'Don't be daft, wrap that shaft.' Utah-based Armenia for two says pornography is the answer. Kagon Poesil for another two says don't be daft, wrap that shaft. Utah based her minion for five says Vito's argue with women problem is obviously aimed at mint salad without naming her. He broke the truce.

Oh they have a truce? Oh fuck. D's for five, Vito gambled away all of the super killer money. You didn't do that, did you? No, how would, you've seen my fucking, I show you my stock portfolio. You know I have. No you don't, you've never showed fucking I show you my stock portfolio. You know, no, you don't you've never showed me that Oh, really? I asked you for my half of this show money. Yeah, I got it send it

I've been uh, you know, I'll send it. I asked on Monday though. Yeah, I got it. I don't think he gambled it, but Okay, I'll show you do you want to see my bank account? No, I just want the money. Okay. Have I- I've never not sent you the money. I don't know man. I heard the, no I gambled it away. I can't pay you. Well, I can tell you the money's all there. In fact, the money's going great because I don't know if you saw Palantir's at 35. I saw that and I thought well at least Evito was gambling the money. At least he has it back. At least he hit it. Now I'm gonna put all that on black

No, it blacks. Yeah, I'll put it on black. I love the black community said it Queen cell for two We need a chest for every time video says we is that it for another two says we love Connie Jesus Christ is that it for another five says video if you need a shoulder to cry on we the veto files are here for you Remember, we love you. I do love the Veto Files. Veto File Nation is stocks are rising. Grapefruit National for five. Does Veto understand that, we gotta talk about communism. Does Veto understand that communism is preferred form of government, inherently rejects private property rights?

Got it. I don't think he understands what private property means at all, actually. Tagger Man for 10. I celebrate 9-11 by playing It's Reigning Men by the Weather Girls. Zenn Slayer's album, God Hates Us All, which. I celebrate 9-11 by playing It's reigning men by the weather girls and slayers album God hates us all which came out of 9-11 really Austin Nick's for five veto men shouldn't argue with women women argue with women no one Autists reflect on your recent

Let women fight with other women I agree with that don't call them don't dox that chud bronzer for five I had a happy 9-11 and vetoes stonewall hang best That's true. He didn't get five for that cirrhosis liver for five nothing Austin nicks for two after the real criticism Thank you cirrhosis of the river. Nucking futts for five all this tubby piggy went Wee wee wee all the way back to his property and this oh we have fun Ryan Young for ten I'll pay whatever refund Ewok is owed so long as you still send him everything he ordered You're talking about Riley. No idea what that means I think he means if he'll pay Riley as long as you still send Riley all the stuff that you I

Didn't read the rest of it. Oh, I'm sorry Everything he ordered he ordered a bunch and mint wanted to refund and then you I think you did give it to them eventually them in Frog Tony that you were really Mean to yeah, I was really mean to Frog Tony. I have apologized for that Yeah, I said some things to Frog Tony. I will apologize to Frog Tony The problem is that you know everybody I don't know I can't do an apology I just I don't think you mean I've already talked to him. I won't bring it up on this show Strater to what promote him you won't bring it. I just I just won't talk about it

Okay, go ahead Stratergy for five imagine trying to write names in your death note But anytime you write a name a shinigami shows up and Chuck Dicks in my ass nobody wants that Oh Shinagami's that's what they were Boba the the Cylon for five. Chicken feet in Hong Kong and Singapore are delicious. Fuck off. Austin Dicks for five. Whiskey Tango drinks Mountain Dew. Whiskey Tango that wins the lottery drinks Mountain Dew if they just had access to a better drink. Shetlips for two. Life's too short to push a shitty cart. Thank you. And then he says it again so we'll take those four dollars. Captain Insanity for two. The shopping cart

was broken by Haitians. Definitely definitely they can't fucking drive either Yeah, I've seen that But we let women drive so why not Haitians? They're worse than women. Yes. Oh, you know if Haitian woman you're dead Are they worse than Asians? Yeah, wow, that's a big that's a That they got in their car they're trying to eat. Yeah, the Asians don't have fucking cats in the car. Come on, same thing. Real black guy for two's yellow flashes live streaming.

I don't know why you'd care about that. Mike Robert he fives his veto lookout. Riley's right behind you. Austin Dix for two's his veto perso- Wait, did I put that thing down? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Don't press anything. Kyle Backer for 20. In middle school I had a friend who would smack his computer when he sucked at his game and blamed blamed random things for misfortune I yeah, I knew somebody like that too. They were fucking nuts

I think I've only done that when I got like really fucking pissed. You know you really want to blame something outside of yourself Oh, but at a certain point. I like realized. This is retarded. Just like just just blame other people well Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah his his dad had rage too I remember watching him thinking was so bizarre cool guy regardless is that a quincelle who's been just super chat like crazy thank you said it for two says video we love you I love you do you love me love we me I love all the veto files you're all my family and we will live forever in Valhalla naturally negative for 10 a veto You found any of the Peppa pigs I hid in your yard yet. They're in the blind spots

Pidgin for 10 says we like oinks oinks are funny We're gonna refresh here got a couple more I You might want to start preparing for a pirate themed bit awesome next for two is this says, this is worse than the oinks, god damn, I feel bad. Yeah. I don't feel bad. I feel bad too. No, it's great, we got a bunch of super chest. Just Ivan for five Australian.

Nah, it's like fucking. Vito, you're skinned cow in an Abitur pick. I don't actually know what an Abitur pick. Reply to Dick was the funniest thing you've done. Keep up the savagery. Yeah. I could fight with you. I got, I think that's-

You have no chance. That's open I mean I have bits prepared for this show that I didn't even bring out cuz you're like oh obviously on the edge Okay, I don't feel like I'm on the edge. I mean yeah, you keep your gas lighting me man You keep saying oh, he's on the edge. He's about to fucking melt down No, you know you should melt it down to absolute zero You keep saying oh, he's on the edge. He's about to fucking meltdown. No you Melted down to absolute zero I know I melted down as far as you can I apologize the fans for blocking you during the show I apologize for any state you have a reputation now of being unwell Because of this I mean it's not even like you you no longer have the ability to joke

People's fucking heads. Oh no. No no no. You have given up your edgelord card. Big time. Okay well I think I could stop being an edgelord. I think I said I should stop being an edgelord. No you can't be an edgelord anymore. You can't criticize anyone anymore. Okay well I think I can still criticize people. Not the same way. You used to be like, you would hammer somebody with some scathing criticism, but now it's like the blade is dulled by,

well, you melted down the right way. Well, now I have my own knife, so why do I need any other blade? Guys, don't forget, pbk.com. It's tough to see. He said he was gonna set up a promo code, and he still didn't I Imagine this whole time. I've been imagining like I bet people were trying to tell Eric July the same shit

And he acted the same way and it made me sympathize with like Eric's wife and his friend. Yeah, I don't know I'm just is this show not fun. I'm having fun Why are you whatever you I think you're gaslighting the audience, whatever. You're gaslighting them. Stop it. Pink like peachy for two. I love you both. Now snap out of this. Fuck! Fuck yeah, seriously. No, but Vito doesn't see any- if it to snap out of. That's the craziest thing. I'm uh-

I'm having fun. I am having fun. I am having fun. I turn into a gray rock. Like I just read some kind of bipolar survival handbook, like walking on eggshells or some shit whenever Riley comes up. You know you're gonna have to see him again, right? I don't know. I can't talk about it.

Austin X for two. No, I'm telling you, you know you're gonna have to see him again, right? Austin X for two says apologies matter when they are sincere. I think they weren't sincere. And Vito's apology is 100% sincere. Shut up. Austin X for two. I love the fans. Send me a message I've been talking to fans all week and I love all you guys. Austin X for two Vito be my friend IRL or I hate you oink oink. Pitcher for ten Vito that cat, your cat in the body cam footage from Ohio. That was bad, that lady was just,

well that was from Ohio though, but there was a video of a lady eating a cat. So somebody was eating a cat? Wow, can we get rid of her? She's from America, she's like an American. I'm sorry, I didn't say it clearly enough. Can we get rid of her? Go nuts, do whatever feels right with the cat eaters.

I agree, don't eat cats. That's not what we're saying. Don't eat cats and don't eat dogs. We're saying get rid of the people. Get rid of the ones eaters. I agree don't eat cats. That's not what we're saying. Don't eat cats and don't eat dogs. We're saying get rid of the people. Get rid of the ones that eat cats. I think I can agree with that. Second Genesis for five, I'm just glad my best friend Vito's having fun. Has man again for five, Vito got used to saying we a lot because of how much wiener goes in his mouth. Solanier or wayzone for two, the swiss eat dogs two what mayo delicacy whites L Yeah, yeah, not really awesome nicks for 20 this is for veto reading the oink in my first super chat instead of skipping and saying okay

Thank you for the 20 Austin nicks TT veto for two Canadian if veto is my dead name Cardinal Cardinal for five We'd love veto awesome nicks for two Thank you dick for reading the super chats veto L We're splitting it Matt C for five Australian Never forget rip verse day where the prices drop faster in the three buildings. Oglovich for two, the fowage will continue until morale improves. TTV, over to Canadian.

I'm sending a large group of black folk to veto. You see when EVS had open house at vetoes when he was on stream with you. I didn't see that. That was his look. It was like his Chiron. Wait, what do you mean? He had even against Chiron.

At the bottom? Yeah, and then it was open house at vetoes. I missed that. I didn't see that. It was like his Chiron. Wait, what do you mean? He had Ethan against Chiron. At the bottom? Yeah, and then it was open house at Vito's. I missed that. I didn't see that. It was pretty funny. That was mid-meltdown. Flutter-E64 for five. Vito plays Shin Megami Tensei III Doctrine.

I do want to do that. JJ for two. This is Free Riley. Is that $7,500? Free Riley.fund. You gotta get, Riley needs money to fight Eric. He's got a new, he's got his court date set. October 3rd or something, go to FreeRiley.fund.

He needs like two grand or something like that to hire his lawyer because somebody else who couldn't take a joke and called, and actually did call the cops when he showed up at his rented space that is also not private property, is taking him to court on domestic violence laws, which is really what all of this is about, because two men arguing online and saying whatever to each other is a fucking joke. All of these laws exist for women who are getting preyed on and abused by men. When two men do it, it is a preposterous farce and everybody should hammer them relentlessly

because it's so fucking stupid. So Eric July melted down, went after Riley. Riley needs help to defend himself. Go to FreeRiley.fund. All right. Lord Pepsi for five. Vito is the same as Eric July. Puerto Mamonchilin. I right. Lord Pepsi for five. Vito is the same as Eric July. Puerto Mamon Chillin. I don't know what that means. Justin Brodick for two. It says Pig Party at Vito's private property.

My property. My property. One more refresh here. We're almost done. Let's see. Cardinal Cardinal for five. We all love The Biggest Problem fans. Johnny Rocket., mentally chill guys, avoid talking about the guy They called the cops on for no reason. Yeah. All right. I know Here's Vito's fucking thing Go's booty Where he gets on a scale Oh, come on Why does the pirate say

You wanna get on the scale or not? I do want to get on the scale Okay All right Pirates you wanna get on the scale or not? I do want to get on the scale. Okay Here he goes there he goes goes. 291.8. 291.8. Is it a mother's milk? Here you go.

Take it. All right. And it is a copy of cuties on DVD. There you go, Veto. Maybe I'll sign it, sell it at whatnot.com slash invite slash Veto comedy. Been having a lot of fun selling magic cards. I'm only giving him shit forever. Just so everybody knows, it's only gonna be trash forever.

Where is the top supporters, which I need to fix this next week. I promise I will fix that. Yeah. Can I refresh? You're gonna have to cut off a column for the veto finance, I think. Can I refresh the Super Chats here? Guys, and if you're putting in member Super Chats, I have no, I can't figure out how to find them.

That's it, no more Super Chats. I'm sorry. Don't forget, if you're a member, though, we do support you. Thank you for being a member on the channel. And we gotta do a bonus episode. If anyone has any suggestions for a good bonus episode. The biggest in jokes at my expense biggest problem in jokes at dick's expense Yeah, the biggest problem in jokes that aren't funny. I would I would like to do the video game challenge

I think that would be fun. So maybe now it's it's too mean-spirited now, though I want to do the I want to do you ever see the movie that was like for like if like everyone is Friends and we're all laughing We are all friends. I'm having I love that no no no no now. It's like what is this now? It's like Okay, well aren't fun. I would still like to be your friend dick. I think we are still friends I hope our friendship doesn't end I'm enjoying doing the show and I think people are enjoying the show. And all that matters is people like the show, right? Isn't that the most important thing?

I don't know what that means. Well, we can figure it out. You know what, there's a lot to be figured out. No, I think the show's good when it's relatively honest, and now it's getting to the point of like, it's almost Maldlin. I don't know how to say it. It's like a, it's like it's like heavily performative, right?

Well, here's the thing is everything I say my friends tell me I'm lying So I'm just going to stop saying things where I can be accused of lying But I honestly enjoy doing this show and I'm having fun. I don't like just no one's saying you're lying about doing about enjoying it Okay. Well, I think we did some great problems on this one. I don't know man well, do you not know or I about enjoying it. Okay, well I think we did some great problems on this one. I don't know, man. Well, do you not know or... I don't know. I honestly don't know. You don't know? Yeah, you gotta fill me in.

You saw Eric July. You saw what he did, right? Uh, yeah. He took it too seriously. A joke. Right. And now you saw it the last week. Right. You taking a joke too seriously. Sure. But it's not see if

that's the lie there that's always okay I'm just alright I got it I'm lying I'm a big liar well no it's not even a lie it's like a fat liar I'm a piece of shit I got it I'm not engaging I'm gray rocking I know I'm a liar everything I say is a lie and no one can trust me ever on anything everything that comes out of my mouth is bullshit. Definitely no one should trust you. Got it. Definitely. Okay, all right, I'm a big liar.

But here's what I'm not lying about. Well, you did say that Mint just wanted you to promote her on EVS and stream and now she's getting hate from Comics Gate. Cause you said that about her. Here's me not lying. Cause you said that about her. You said that about her and now she's getting hate from Comics Gate people.

Here's what I'm not lying about. You said that Mint is pissed because you don't promote her and that's not true. Nobody wants your promotion. You said that about her. Here's what I'm not lying about. You said that Min is pissed because you don't promote her and that's not true. Nobody wants your promotion. You said that about her. Here's what I'm not lying about. And this is your Grey Rock shit. We got-

Like you read a- you read a- like a 101 psychology book. I think- On it. I think everybody really likes the show. They don't want the show to end and the show is not ending. It will. Eventually. It won't. Yeah, eventually. No, no, no. It will eventually.

Okay. It will. Okay. Well, we can have that discussion, but I'm not gonna- No, no, no. We will eventually. Okay. It will. Okay. Well, we can have that discussion, but I'm not gonna- No, no, no, we're- you and I do not have discussions off- I just- I need to make it clear, you don't represent me. You're not talking about-

Okay, all right. What I believe- We don't have discussions. When you're on other streams and you're talking about who Riley is or what Riley is, you're not talking for me. Sure. I don't think- I'm not trying to. Okay.

We're not having a discussion about anything off the show. Ever? Definitely not about this. Sure, not about this having a discussion about anything off the show. Ever? Definitely not about this. Sure, not about this, but we should talk about doing a bonus episode. Yeah, that, yeah. Yeah, let's talk about that. Okay. Okay.

Maybe a movie review. I can't do it, man. You can't see a movie with me? No, not after this stuff. It's way too tense right now. Sure, right now. We'll get through it, guys. I don't think it's gonna get better.

Internet. Because you're gonna. We'll get through it. I don't think it's gonna get better. Internet. Because you're gonna get hammered more and more. Look, internet drama is gay and temporary, okay? It doesn't last forever. But you're doing it. You're bringing it on yourself. And I'm stopping bringing it on myself. No, this episode has been the opposite of that.

I really don't think that. Whew, man. Well, you know better than everyone. I've told you there's a thing I can't talk about. M. I told you there's a thing I can't talk about. Mitten Reilly. There's a thing I can't talk about. I mean you think that's cute but it's like, fuck it's stupid. It's not cute, it's genuinely true.

It's true and I know everybody thinks I'm lying but I'm not. No one thinks you're lying. Absolutely they do. You think I'm lying when I say I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it. In general I think you're lying. Okay in general you think I'm lying. Not talking about Mitten Reilly I think you're like okay. You have some fucking weird

Truce or something I guess that's what people are saying. I can't talk about it. Oh Man, but it's like pulling fucking teeth. It's just we just don't have to talk about it There's a lot of stuff. We don't talk about on the show. I don't bring up stuff with you You know you have stuff that is a threaten me. No, that's not a threat. All right. All right. I'm done. I'm gonna go I don't know why this is heated I'm not threatening you Okay Bro, there's stuff. I don't bring up. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I would never bring up certain things that go on in your life like it's not yeah

I don't know you have like ready. You better be fucking sure you're gonna call the cops on me, too Is that next? All right. Do you want to call this one? I love everybody great show Alright, do you want to call this one? I love everybody, great show. Biggestproblem.show, vote on all the problems. Patreon.com slash biggest problem. And don't forget whatnot.com slash invite slash free comedy. Free Riley.fund. Fifteen dollars, buy some magic cards. And Vito's Wheel of Consoles is shaping up. The Vito shilling is just like painful. Vito's Wheel of Consoles. People want to buy video game consoles, it's fun.

It's like, it's like it's like Nightmare I'm trying to the shilling is like beyond I just really like magic I have a lot of fun opening magic cards. It's very fun for me Okay, and it's way better if I can sell them to other people because otherwise I go bankrupt All right buying magic cards is a expensive hobby You know it's better if I sell them because then I can just crack them and everybody has a good time. Yeah.

Well. I guess everybody has a better understanding of how everything goes after this week. I think we had fun and we got another great show coming next week. Bonus episode coming soon. Hey! All right, we good? Are you insane? I don't know man. I'm gonna I'm gonna head out Cut the show. What do you want?

Wow, I thought you want to play a music you want to play an outro. What do you want? You want to do you want to do a rap? Is this my coke? I think this is my coke Okay, I'm just gonna stand up and slowly leave the frame cuz that's the bit. Take care of yourself America. Veto file nation baby.