The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 169

Episode Date: December 21, 2024

It's so hard All right, so the thing I was saying about Riley and mint salad is oh wait Is the show now Oh nevermind I get blamed for that. That's the show Did you see my coverage of of I, of, uh, I did, I did, and I had to... You're amped up already! You came in hot for this, okay. I was feeling bad after the last show. Oh, you were. Me too.

Because, uh, I got confused. My girlfriend was on your side. I said, get the fuck out of here. Well, let's take a trip to Client Parenthood. I got a little confused because, Wait, we didn't what you didn't mention was that you had the document of all the court case stuff. Yeah. Yeah Well, that's how court works. Okay, submit shit and then the court About that I was thinking about you're like you're like, oh, you know, isn't it great that the court case is over We're gonna talk about how the court case is over. And I'm like, that's not that interesting to me.

In the court case, in the court case, Eric July, it says Eric July met, had the police meet him, summoned him to a gas station on the outskirts of town so he could secretly tell them that it's all my fault. Okay. So I didn't understand, I thought you were just like, oh my god the court cake has dropped and that's all you wanted to talk about. I'm like, well I don't really get

what I'm supposed to do with that. That's great! Yeah, so I I was confused. Bro, this is a major like unconstitutional law that needs to be repealed and fined. Thankfully, and then I understood later when you're like,

oh, there's all these documents. And I'm like, oh, there's documents? That's like, oh, fuck. But you know, we all- I had 6,000 people watching that. And I'll say, you know, obviously I've had a lot of shit in my head and I've been very stressed out. But- That's fine.

I want to, the real problem is I wasn't drinking. You weren't drinking, but everyone's accusing you of drinking. No, I'm all keyed up, so I'm like, you know, arguing, but when I'm drinking, I'm like, ah, you know, who gives a shit? I know it was... Look, I was knowing it was a good... Here's the other thing though. My girlfriend said, why don't you get a relationship therapist on the show?

It'd be funny. I'm like, oh, so when she's leaving, you could say like, hey, by the way, why don't you do a two for one and me and him go in there? I see that angle here. The funny thing to me is the episodes, and I'm sorry for overruling you there, interrupting. I am amped up. The funny thing to me is even the episodes where we fight,

I listen back and I go, that was a pretty good radio fight. A lot of the audience is like, oh oh man, I can't believe it. Like, they're not going to be friends ever again. I'm like, bro, again, I always bring up like Howard Stern. Like, those guys would go at it. And it's like, it is part of the show. So look. Look, it's comedy.

Look, you're sitting on, I know what a gold mine is. I know, I know, I know. Bro, we could talk about this and then do a bonus episode breaking it down, I mean this is what Maybe we should, because we're overdue for bonus episode. Nick Ricanus used to be famous for one thing. Yes. Breaking down legal documents

before he was famous for two things. And let me be clear, what happened with Riley is funny. Don't even use his name. All of that is funny. Okay, my problem was, it seemed like in my head. It's like oh the court case got dropped I'm like well. That's not that funny. I know Documents you know you've never been sued like documents. I've been through this legal process. Yeah, and I could tell you It's always funny. I

agree and I I was confused. I honestly I was like what we're gonna talk about the car case got dropped I should have just let you probably leave me. Yeah fucking goofball shit I fuck I think I fucked up my name twice Eric said my name twice. I know and that's what I had a bitch Yeah, finally so in my head. I was like I don't know what to talk about like that was if you notice on the show I'm stumped. I'm like I don't know what to say the court case got dropped I didn't realize there's like a wealth of material to go over honestly if you just like sometimes I mean, I don't know if you just hate those guys whatever and I'm like, I still look

I'm not gonna be told to not do something that I know is funny. I know I know Next next time I will try to figure out what's going on. But I was like, I don't know what's going on. I still think it was funny. If the Quatering can talk about trans shit, you know, 5,000 times in a row. Yes. I'm sure we can figure out a new version of it. I absolutely agree it was funny. I will say it was equally funny for me to lose my mind and scream about certain interpersonal dramas I've been having.

But it was a different kind of fun. Anyway guys, last time, this it was a different kind of fun. Anyway guys, last time, this is our Christmas show, kind of. Oh yeah, let me see if it's working. It's right before Christmas. Is everything working out? Yeah. Okay.

All right, all right. I gotta figure out this audio was all fucked up on my show. While you were peeking? Yeah, so tell me if I'm peeking anybody today. It doesn't sound like it But text me if you don't have my number then I don't trust you anyway, so alright. Let's go. Let's do a show Wish we had a Christmas version of this with like little bells. Oh yeah Biggest Problem in the universe.

Welcome to the Biggest Problem in the Universe. It's the only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From people who make too much noise to YouTubers making stuffed toys. Pretty good. From mass produced toy, oh more toy stuff. From pretentious cops to stuffed Funko Pops. Okay, that's true, true. My host, Dick Masterson, joining me as always

is Vito, just as well. Plushies, huh? Voted down to oblivion. I mean, let's be clear here. You got 62 customers right there for your... That's a lot of guys who want some, what do you mean I got 62? 62 down votes.

Well, yeah, they like plushies everybody likes plushies And it was pretty funny that after the show I go and I give your dog a delightful stuffed toy And that dog is loving it But I'm just saying bonds. I did I was tooling around a little bit. I know there's, you know, I got this idea for a character. Have you seen this? I know, I mean, I don't know. He's a character, he's like a fun little cartoon guy.

He's got like a little face and he's all mad and he's got this hair. Yeah. And did you see the image I drew of that guy? I know. You wanna go to my Twitter real quick? Take a look. I'm calling him Rick Bastardson, I think,

would be this character. And he's just a fun little goofy Gus, you know? Just having fun. And what could be really fun about this, here I can get us to it, is that there'd be like a little, yeah, that would be fun, right? And what we could do is we mean yeah, it's kind of familiar How do we switch over here?

Yeah, right here, and it's like One of these always fucks up there look at that little guy now imagine that as a tiny little Huggable plushable tiny. Oh, I mean Why does the forehead like a light bulb? What do you mean? What do I mean? What do you mean? That's the character? It's a character that I've invented where does the eyes are like three-quarters down on the fucking head Well, some people said that they didn't like that one as much they like this version a little better That's the same fucking why all the eyes the face is a little more scrunched. I think the head is a little for this

character based on nothing coincidence yeah Well, you know we can always I'm gonna trademark that slogan real quick. I Don't know see you're selling this is that what you're saying. Well. I mean I got a quote. What's the quote? You know from my supplier. I know what a quote is. I'm not gonna tell you what the quote is. Why would you not tell me what the quote is?

Come on, Eric July, I don't go and tell you what I paid for the fucking comic book. Anybody could go email the supplier and ask what the fucking quote is! They don't know who it is! They don't know who it is. They're all the same! It's different depending on which doll. If the doll's more complex. How much is this? 11 bucks?

Maybe. Ugh. It's different depending on which doll if the dolls more complex is this 11 bucks, maybe Point is I mean that's not the retail price Only fucking stupid retards with too much money would buy this I know and then we got a lot of those in our audience So it's possible. You know we're gonna push forward with a production of these we'll see and this is your creation obviously yeah, yeah I mean, what is the name? It's all me Rick Bastardson What are the file names if I subpoena the file names that exist on your computer right now? What do they what's the title of the file? I don't know It could be no no you better

I'm saying is it would be an excellent companion to the blush the veto plush which is on its way So, you know might be something I really am upset by this like I don't want it I don't want people buying it. Oh, you know, I hate it. What can you do? It's a I especially hate how the things all crappy looking the T shirt Well, the t-shirt could be anything you put anything on there like I mean This is a legally protected parody character of a public figure I have autism go fuck yourself that one couldn't I make like no I'm like hey we could I could make parodies of I could make my own Bo blacks plush

you know everybody wants to make fun of blow apparently Bo blacks released more of his plush toys and everyone's dunking on him for only selling like 20 of them go like oh like good no one wanted to go blacks plush we got everyone's dunking on him for only selling like 20 of them Got a bo-blax good. No one wanted a bo-blax plush. We got it as a goof one time Yeah, no one wants any of these goddamn. I like well. We'll see who knows what'll happen So if you guys like plushies don't forget to vote it down. I was lying. I saw that in the in the Post that and I said I'm upset No, just that it exists I'm like I hate that thing I hate it it's pretty cool I think it'd be fun to have imagine you get one to your dog now. That's fun

I don't my dog eating this asbestos Chinese The asbestos Chinese This best is what makes it so soft Anyway out in a non loud area, that's what one guys. Let me know if my audio is fucked up I'm all paranoid about it now. I'll check the fucking here anymore. They always just say it though Yeah, Chad likes the buddy likes the doll They just have money that they want to burn. It's fucking dumb. That's why.

Cause they're a bunch of fucking non- They're a bunch of cat ladies put in a man's body. They got nothing to spend their money on but trash like this. I'm looking at it. It's pretty cool. It's fucking stupid and the hairline's the worst part. This is not- It's not accurate? It's fucking stupid and the hairline is the worst part Not accurate even in a fantasy to nobody

This character this character would not have a hairline like this like I see The type of character you're going for and the hairline would be Wouldn't be like this it could come down a little bit. Yeah, it shouldn't like it shouldn't make you guess where it is It's on the top It's cool. It's been at the top for a long time. It's thinning. Maybe yeah, maybe there's like a little kind of Island thing forming right now if I'm being honest, but it's still in the front. It's still okay. It's still in the front still okay That's what kind of character this is. I mean I was just looking at you and now I'm going okay well maybe. This is like a jewel hoarding. This is like a cash for gold. You know this is like a side character in uncut gems what you've made. Well.

Cause of the hairline. Fix it. We could definitely, we could definitely. Fix it or I'll sue you for looking too much like me. No, no you're just giving input on this legally distinct character Well, I am unless the hairline doesn't change as I'm not I'll see what we can do guys You know if anybody has any kind of please leave comments for me How much does it cost you you know, what do you got to order 500? No, only I can get a hundred a hundred made and the proceeds are going to breast cancer. Yes They will support breast somebody's breast cancer

Probably mine. Look at these. Look at these here. It's probably some cancer in those Does it make you funny? I wouldn't mind chopping these off. Let's put it that way all these breast cancer ladies They're always complaining. They're like, oh I had to get my tits cut off. I'm like if only if only They're like, oh I had to get my tits cut off. I'm like if only if only Okay, so Zip it makes you funny. Don't ever do don't do anything with this piece of trash. Sure, of course not It's not like you'll come into the show one day and there's like, you know 20 of them arranged on the table don't put any white in the beard either if you're doing it I'm not putting any white in the beard. Nobody wants that guy. They want the young Well, they could have classic dick bastards or Rick bastards.

You better watch it! You know with the glasses and the baldness. That could be fun. There's no baldness. No, but what you... Shaved. Shaved head is what I know. Yeah, okay. Big Z. Whoever voted... Whoever did that voted up stinger nailed it. Did we do the... Oh no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry. Being loud in a non-loud area.

You're the winner. Was the winner. Cops doing you a favor, one second place. Still got to deal with that ticket. The ticket was for no insurance? Yeah, I got to just- Do you have insurance? Yeah, I have insurance.

So I just have to show it to somebody. Feeling bad, looking at disabled people. I don't know if I named that one correctly, but that's what I went with. No, it was negative, whatever. I mean, that's a huge problem. It is a huge problem. You can't not stare at them. That's half of why you watch Game of Thrones.

You go, whoa, that guy can act. That little stubby-fingered guy. Yeah. That's crazy. Dealing with disabled people is like a quick time event in real life yeah I feel like the same sense of panic like I'm waiting for the right thing to do and then it's like oh fuck I said the wrong thing oh fuck you didn't press the left arrow quick enough and you didn't look away when he

gave made eye contact. R3 what the hell is oh no now he's wheeling away no I'm sorry that one GTA mission where you have to do yoga with your wife. The worst QTA sequence I've ever experienced. Uh, Plushies was last. Yeah, because everyone loves them. Because everyone loves them. Okay, whatever. Little goofy guys. Big Z, whoever did that voted up Stinger nailed it. Too bad we'll never know who it was. It is too bad.

Not Mark, I'll never understand certain demographics and ability to not use a speakerphone or FaceTime in public. Good show, guys. Yeah. Thank you. Scientists will never know. Uh, Atticus Finch says, lol dick got super blown out. The comments about who blew out who are always like, alright guys, just cologne out. You don't have to put it in quotes. We know that it's about being a simp for mint for laughing faces.

He's so butt hurt. I don't give a shit about any of this, he says, and he's clearly caring about it. Laugh, laugh, laugh. Mike Hawk, Vito doesn't understand the cop is doing him a favor. Yeah, you don't need to go to the courthouse. You need to send in proof of insurance,

and there's no fine. Is that true? In California, I can what, mail it? I thought I had- That's what he says. Not like go into the courthouse. Like I don't have to get in front of a judge, but I have to go down to the fucking window. He says you just mail it in. The cops said go to the courthouse. I don't know. Cops. They never know. I don't know. Yeah, that's true. Good point. That's a lot cheaper than the five traffic tickets you could have gotten. Okay, so the cops- The cops are great. Thank you, cop.

Thanks. Also not pulled me over. Schick says children love Build-A-Bear. It's not for adults. That's why you two don't like it. But they obviously adults like first of all, obviously for kids too. Also is the what's the birth rate at in America is going up or down? The birth rate?

Yeah, it feels like there's less kids these days. Ha! Like a, that's a pretty bad birth rate. Hey! Well I'm saying like that's less Build-A-Bears. Is it? You know, cause that's, if you're buying them for kids, if there's less kids, it's less Build-A-Bear.

Build-A-Bear was around in like the 90s. Build-A-Bear is so expensive though. I feel like everybody was having, it is truly expensive. It's gotta be an adult woman thing. There's a lot of adults doing it. All I know is I go to the playground and there's less and less kids over time. And really cut down on my people watching.

Coden Loseff says, in London, you have to audition to be allowed to perform in or around stations and never inside of the carriages around the platforms. Wow, really. You have to audition. That's cool. So you can't suck.

Huh, that's a good idea. They should have an audition for handing out your mix tape. Yeah. Too you can't suck. Huh, that's a good idea. How, uh, they should have an audition for handing out your mixtape. Yeah. Too pushy. Next. They still do that. I can't believe they're still handing out. It's not a mi- it's a mixed CD. Yeah, mixed CD. They get down at the- I took my mom to the pier when she was visiting, and like black guys are trying to hand her their rap CD, and I'm like, my mom is not gonna listen to your fucking CD, man. They don't care. They just want money. The CDs are blank. Yeah. Oh, are they?

They might be. They just give you the CD and they go, how about five bucks? Well, they go, it's free, it's free. And then they go, can I get 15 bucks? And you're like, no. There's actually a great video of a guy in an Indian market or whatever.

It's like these pushy guys that come up to the tourist and they put beads around his neck. He goes, okay. And he keeps walking. The guy's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, you give me. And he's like, you gave them to gave him to me and the guys like and then the guy gets really mad He's like, okay. Okay, you take them all he puts all the beads on the guy and guy goes, okay And he keeps walking away

Justin says veto called the cops on his neighbors because of their music ultimate snitch Well, I have no The being loud if you're a neighbor is too. I'm like so worried about being loud. I'm always asking my neighbors I don't make too much noise Remember that time we were being loud outside at your house. You were having a party. Yeah, we were in the backyard we were just like all carousing and not too loud or whatever. But like, I think the neighbor was like, hey, can you guys keep it down? I don't know exactly what they said.

But then somebody, I don't know what happened. Somebody yelled. And then we heard a kid crying from his bedroom because of our yelling. Oh, no. And we went, oh, now I feel bad. So that was a bad neighbor situation yeah well that explains a lot lieutenant Serge the toll of Sean's departure was

clearly too much to bear for Richard and he finally snapped you've been talking Sean at all yeah I talked to him about the audio this week oh okay it's all fucked up and he goes that's too bad. Not on this show. The show's audio is good. I mean, I don't know. I can't fucking tell. He said, that's too bad. He's like, oh, yeah.

I'm on the way out. It sounds fucked. What can I do? Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah. Official Jab. Why would I have any interest or enjoyment in Eric Jalai

getting his cyberbullying lawsuit, naming Dick thrown out and potentially affecting Texas law? I don't know, Jab. So throwing out that I don't think is interesting, it's the documentation of why it was thrown out. They document everything! I don't know that, I don't know!

I don't know, there's like pictures and documents and stories. Secret stories from the cops. I don't know, I don't know. The air till I never thought it would get out. And he's burying his soul, like they're a hooker. Well, you should have led with, have secret documents and then I went oh I said you led with Vito can't even celebrate this big win. I was right!

Well I can't! Whatever. Everybody wins. Is that that's all the comments I have. Guys we have a voted up segment I wanted to bring back a classic Christmas Voted Up tune. Okay. So here it is for you. I was just an angry incel, living off minimum wage. Saving for an AR-15, something to unleash my rage. I thought I'd punish the whole world. I'd kill the blacks, Jews the gays that's when I went and stumbled on the biggest problem YouTube page well who'd have thought

what made me smile was a Mexican and a pedophile but now I'm not a cock and And all I want is to vote it up Vote it up now baby Ladies and gentlemen, vote it up! The most exciting segment that we have Not just a glorified news segment It's so much more Well, Dick, to get you in the Christmas spirit The glorified opinion segment

It is And we get to touch on some things that we might otherwise not get to touch on, one of which is a classic problem from bonus episode 11, but I believe was the biggest problem, holiday special, the first one we did. This was the problem of Christmas truthers. OK. These are guys who take Christmas way too seriously.

It's always, you know, it's got to be about Jesus. There's a war on Christmas, they'll say. Yeah. You know, they're taking all the religion out of Christmas. Well, it seems that Americans' views are changing on that topic. On what? Christmas? On the idea that there's a war on Christmas. Yeah, we won. Well, maybe. Yeah, I guess so. It's kind of turned around. Like now it is more Christmasy. We won everything. We want everything man. Yeah, well Trump's in the office. The DEI people are scattering. Oh god, they're running for the hills. It's actually crazy.

The trans people are trying to cut their dicks off before Trump gets in there. I have to say, of all the things about a Trump presidency, like you guys really like got there immediately. Did you see that law shit? What? Yeah. Oh ho ho ho! Yeah! Do it again! That Robbie Starbuck guy, you seen him who's going like He's like one of these like activist guys who's going to every company and he's going

Yeah, I'm gonna do a big expose on all your DEI bullshit unless you change it right now And they go we're gonna change it right now changed. Yeah, he's already joke We don't know he's the guy who got Walmart to change You got Home Depot to change like they're getting rid all that stuff Point is dick the number of Americans who agree. There is a war on Christmas has fallen since 2022 To from 39 percent of Americans who said there was a war on Christmas down to just 23 percent Among Republicans 36 percent currently believe there's a war on Christmas down from 60% so even among Republicans It's down one in three republic more than one in three things. There's a war on Christmas. They kind of have to say that right? It's like part of the plan. Yeah, they're well the platform. I'm so why do you think it's red?

They're like the guys in the Japanese soldiers. Yes know? They'll keep fighting forever. Like they're still having war on Christmas in Nebraska somewhere. So today, well, 46% of Americans disagree there's a war on Christmas. Let's see, among party lines, 61% of Democrats disagree and 33% of Republicans disagree. But here's some other exciting Santa related facts from this poll. Maybe Trump just like took all the Santa hatred because he looks like Santa. Now it's all focused on him. Yeah. So the Democrats are leaving us, the liberals are leaving Santas alone. Yeah. We're not making them black as much as we used to. We're still getting, you can have a couple of black Santas, but not nearly as many. And definitely the

drag Santa we had planned We had a great drag Santa planned God. We were gonna do a whole thing Coca-Cola We scrapped it. I talked to my guys. They said no more trans Santa now dick what political party? Do you think Santa would belong to? God Santa would belong to? God The National Socialist Party? Yeah, I mean he gives presents away. He should be a fucking socialist. Yeah, he likes his nation of Anarchist almost.

Well, of Americans, 30% believe Santa would be an independent And 21% say he would support the Republican party, 21% say he would support the Democratic party. So it's evenly split. Can you believe it? Now here's another one. Why, based on what? I don't know, none of this matters, just stupid stance.

How long, Dick, do you say, what is the age at which a child should no longer believe in Santa Claus? Like what point do you tell your kid it's all a goof? You gotta wait for them to figure it out out but if they haven't figured it out by they're like nine then they're probably retarded. You're pretty much on it. 13% say 10 years is too old for a child to believe in Santa. 10? Yeah 10 they say is too old. Okay. So that would make 9 the correct one. Yeah yeah yeah. 23%... Yeah cuz They're getting into like sex head at like 11

You don't want to go from like believing in Santa to like knowing of what a vagina Well when the teachers like and here's how to put on a condom they go. How does Christmas magic figure into that? So the fallopian tubes Christmas magic how are reindeer made that can fly? that's special reindeer sperm or Reindeer made that can fly that special reindeer sperm or 23% say the minimum age for a child to believe in Santa's nine or younger and 24% think children are never too old to believe in Santa which is incorrect. I hate that shit. That's Wrong. Yeah. Why so many move? It's always weird in the movies

Where they have to have an explanation for why adults don't believe in Santa. Like that always bothered me. Like something happened in Gremlins. The reason he doesn't believe in Santa is because as a kid, I think it was the Santa Claus that he didn't get his like hot dog whistle, like whatever wiener whistle. Those movies are for kids, right? Yeah. But it's still- So they have to have a reason, like, they't you say, because I'm not a dumb kid. But it's also confusing because then,

but it makes kids aware that there are adults who don't believe in Santa. But that's logical- No, it's introducing the concept, so they can explain, look, this one, Tim, this guy doesn't believe in Santa. This guy doesn't believe in Santa. That's crazy, it's so weird among adults

that he has to have a whole cockamamie reason for it. But if you're a kid, like, how could someone not believe in Santa in the universe in which presents just appear under the tree? Because they're a dick. I mean, that's why they have the big explanation. But it would make more sense if Tim Allen goes, like, the Jews are doing it to fuck with us. You know, like, if he had, like, an actual conspiracy theory. The Jews are doing it to fuck with us you know like if you had like an actual conspiracy theory the Jews are not gonna allow that yeah you're right of Romans the Romans yeah yeah it's a fucking

terrorist plot they're giving us presence to yeah yeah but it's never that's never the explanation anyway guys that's Christmas truth there's currently number 405 why oh yeah so they're not a problem they are a problem anymore they're not a problem it's becoming less not a problem. They are a problem anymore or they're not a problem anymore? It's becoming less of a problem. Less people are worried about the war on Christmas. Okay, I swear my audio sounds fucked up. I'm gonna text my girlfriend and ask her.

Well, if anybody in the chat thinks your audio sounds bad, please tell us. But I don't think, it sounds good in my headphones, I'll tell you that. Oh, it does? It's not, it doesn't get crazy at the top and, ah, no, that was fine. I don't think you're peaking at all. Tell us if your dick's peaking. It doesn't get crazy at the top and ahhhhhh No, that was fine. I don't think you're peaking at all. Tell us if dick's peaking AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW SHW Problem for you from episode 71. This is the problem of the desexification of media This is of course when our media no longer they say Dick's audio is great. There we go. That's when our media no longer

Feature I trust sexy women, you know, they're taking it away. They put Sydney Sweeney in there He looks like a Down syndrome cabbage patch doll. Wait, what they put Sydney Sweeney in everything. That's true syndrome cabbage patch doll. Wait, what? They put Sydney Sweeney in. Everything. That's true. Look at this hot bitch. I'm like, oh yeah?

Does she have any pictures where there's not a picture, where there's not like clothes around her love handles? She's got like an Elliot Page kind of build to her, huh? Elliot Page and like a stretchy fun house mirror that's fat. Sure. Well, here's the thing, Dick. Not only are they taking away our sexy movies and video games or whatever Yeah, they're trying to prevent the end user from with strong suggestion from

Resexifying them. Oh like with mods. Yeah, that's correct in your imagination Well dick as we earlier this year Final Fantasy 7 rebirth came out. I've been playing it and then my head I keep going Well, I can't wait until it come. Yeah. Well, yeah, but not yet though cuz I'm like keep going well I can't wait until it comes out on PC cuz then I can make her tits the size of a fucking her yeah exactly everything yeah but fans have the game is now coming to PC on January 23rd but fans have been warned to keep things rated T for Teen with the games director Naoki Hamaguchi, you would hope it's T for Tits, asking fans to not make inappropriate mods. He's begging the community.

What the hell is he talking about? No, that's a way for him to bring it up without doing it. I'm wondering if there's like a little something where he's like, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, whatever you do, it's coming after the PC and that means you can give Teev a big old honky-donk. If you go into config.txt, you can adjust the tit size. It's at 800, you could make it 2400, but don't do it. We put it in there so you can't do it,

so you'd know that nothing. We wanna make sure you don't do it. He says, well, the team has no plans for official in-game mod support. We respect the creativity of the modding community and welcome their creations. That sounds like a hint. But please don't give her big old hockey hands.

We are asking modders not to create or install anything offensive or inappropriate. They've got to put tits on everything. I've seen too many. I'm bored of, like, the mods. It's just like, yeah, it's huge tits on everything. I've seen too many, I'm bored of like, the mods with just like, yeah, it's huge tits and they're not wearing anything. Like I want tits on the sword. I want tits on

like, you know, the machines in Shinra. I want tits on the planet. I want the Knights of the Round Table all have huge tits. Sephiroth has tits. Dude, I want the summons, the giant summon beast, just like a huge titty lady just squirting tit milk on everybody. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Well, I mean, because I don't want her shooting fire. I want her peeing on everybody. Oh, I see. Yeah, it's peeing. Whatever. You were missing anti-pee last week. No, I support peeing. You know, I just, it's an interesting way of making money.

That's the funniest thing about your insults. Like, wait, you like all that stuff. What are you talking about? That's true. What was I gonna say? Materia, tits system. I want, Materia should be tits. Absolutely. I've seen Capcom though has really been trying to lock it down because Resident Evil 2 and I brought this up was like the first Game where the modding community just went fucking nuts. Oh, yeah, and you gotta go on Pornhub and just look up these mods They're wild. You're like of Resident Evil

Yeah, well cuz they'll make the girl like yeah, Resident Evil 2 is the one where you can play as the girl or whatever and the guy Yeah, but you don't play as the guy. Yeah, well you gotta play through the girls You can save the machine gun in the box and then fuck yourself over I hate that mechanic so much have we done that hoarding all the weapons until the end of the game? No, I don't know if we have game was the worst at hoarding Actually our Final Fantasy episode we probably talked about that I Was gonna evil to a tomb raider. Yeah, so having to hoard all your bullets So you're on it I ran out of bullets in the first Resident Evil

You guys see these mods though where she's in like a bondage outfit with her arms tied behind her back and a Ball gag in her mouth and you go well how is she holding the rifle then man? How's she talking in these cutscenes? I think she's like floating like in front of her tits Such as a girl with her arms And you're like yeah fuck it it's pretty funny with that. I don't know with that fuck with your brain What that game that yeah? That on purpose And it's just wild and you can do it and you can change mr. Whatever his name is mr X you can change him into Shrek, so there's a bond to be chased by Shrek down hallway

Shrek's gonna rape me and then I'm imagining that Hulk look thing, you know, with the porn gif. The modders are going nuts. The modders are having a lot of fun. Honestly, I'm a...the biggest tragedy for me of YouTube is like, this stuff is hilarious to me, and I would love to make like YouTube videos about the way people are modding these things to be like, disgusting and sexual. Yeah yeah but he can't do it cuz like like you really can't make any humorous sexual content on YouTube because they'll demonetize it and I got waxed or just banned your whole channel yeah okay yeah so that range that sucks but what doesn't

suck is a modding Tifa's titties. Guys, the desexification of media currently 98, number 98 with 491 out votes. That's pretty good. Why don't you? Top 100 problem in the universe. Top 100. Gotta vote it up. I was just an angry incel living off minimum wage,

saving for an AR-15 Something to unleash my rage. I thought I'd punish the whole world I'd kill the blacks the Jews the gays that's when I went and stumbled on Here's a radical that we de-radicalized with our humor That's a good message for Christmas Well, truth of thought what made me smile was a Mexican and a pedophile, but now I'm not a cock and all I want is to vote it out. You gotta make more of these, man. I want to! If you get back over 10,000, you gotta make more of these.

I wanna make more, and I keep trying to tell you I want to Do this song and I sent you the lyrics I know but see the problem is you can't you can't do one song you got to do a bunch because you got to Get locked in yeah, you know work on it And you so you know I sent you cuz it's got this good good. I did cover though right no I thought you oh so when you said Stacey's mom I said I want it to be like Stacey's mom It's in the like same like that I was putting like I want it to be like Stacey's mom like no

I want it to be like the same vein of like a funny same thing maybe semi punk like Sexual now I'm into whatever song I thought it was a cover no okay cuz that I could just do I Do it all the time on this show I can do a fucking alright anybody can write be a parody songwriter I agree the guy a rucka rucka. All you ever see that idiot easy happen to him He's still making stuff, but making songs Was he more liberal he went with Dancula and they were like free speech guys, then he kind of got blown like oh wait Was he like podcasting with thank you? No he did some kind like free speech guys, then he kind of got blown like oh wait was he like podcasting with thank you? No, he did some kind of free speech I don't know gathering and then that was it okay. He got kind of like

There was a time for that huh where it's like we're all gonna get together and talk about free speech You're like that sounds boring as hell it is what the fuck you mean I should be able to say the n-word on the radio, okay? Sure, well you can't you can't yeah And you want to lose your job go be the Rosa Parks of the n-word see how well it works out Oh, you guys you don't have to keep sending me Coo me eclipse. I get it like I'm already there I know we joke about on the show a lot But you guys keep going see what Coo me a sad and I'm like is about I know we joke about it on the show a lot, but you guys keep going,

see what Kumia said? And I'm like, is it about black people? It is about black people. Yeah, I know. The most amazing thing is, the Clipsy posts, no one needed to see them. No! And the way he talks about them is like,

it's almost like becoming a boomer tier take of, oh, look at that, do you know that yeah black? They're black. Yeah, you know we all know Yeah, you don't need to you don't say anything We won look their shop was trying to yeah, we know we know everyone knows we know but they went into an Apple store And they took the yeah, obviously Do you think you're special doing it? That's happening. Yeah, kind of I mean it's weird. It's becoming like tiresome. Yeah It's becoming like the racist uncle at the Thanksgiving table. It's like he's not racist enough He's like well, you know what they say about the M&F. Yeah, we're gonna say that and then after here Hey check this out like this is a

Like a straight, you know, I don't know. It's become predictable and like horrible. It's become quaint. Yeah. Like, oh yeah. It's your grandpa saying oriental and you go, oh grandpa, you're not supposed to say that. They're called zit, you know? Yeah. Stop saying oriental. When I was killing all those zipper heads in the war and you go, oh grandpa, you can't You can I mean that's so antiquated at this point right? Yeah What does Jay remind you of I don't know it doesn't remind me of anything Really, I don't even know what it I don't even like to phone a friend Anthony Kumina was that Vietnamese is that Vietnamese? Remember which one that is either Koreans or Vietnamese because they got got it from the tanks would run them over and make their heads like that.

Is that what it was? Yeah. Very offensive. I thought it's because they were so skilled at making clothing, you know? It's like how some guys are sneaker heads, you know, because they love sneakers so much. These are guys who love jackets, so they're like, ah, look at that, I'm a zipper head, man. I just love jackets. Yeah.

Yeah. The guy who runs the YKK fact yeah It is funny when there's just these racial terms that are so old that you're like I don't know which one this refers to I just know it's bad Is there a book going into all this stuff to etymology of racist terms? This is another topic that I would love to make YouTube videos about and I can't And you there's no point in making it on rumble cuz it's like no one's gonna see it shit You see the quartering posted a video about how Andrew Tate's case was dismissed and it's

Not oh really. He's just like making shit up now. Oh wait. What do I mean now like he? Yeah, he's being the quartering. They're like all rumble guys now I was I'm accused JK Rowling of writing a character based on him And I'm like I really don't think JK Rowling knows who you are or gives a shit, but what do I know? Good job? I really don't know which one to do Oh man Man should I flip a coin? Sure, let me see

Too bad we don't have a d20 you could roll for an issue odds evens I'm gonna do the war on doxxing all right. You know Nick Fuentes Someone tried to shoot him in the head with a crossbow It's really confusing. I was really confused when I saw that video. I went this is the worst Attempted murder I've ever seen This is the worst attempted murder I've ever seen Wait for you to answer the door Yeah, you know you already killed three people drove two hours, and then he's waiting politely at the door surprise fact yeah

Knowing that Nick has had people showing up at the door and clearly is not just answer. Yeah I can't remember the last time you heard about a murderer who went, yo, yo Nick, Nick get out of here buddy. He's doing that like come out to play thing. He also saved Nick for last. So was Nick just kind of like a cherry on the Sunday? Like did he kill his family or what? I think he killed someone else's family. He had altercations with this guy from what I can tell okay? I had many legal altercations with this gentleman an associate of his so he busted into the he waited in front of that guy's

House right and the woman's on Twitter going I don't want to be a white suburban mom But this guy's freaking me out outside. She said that she tweeted it. That's her last tweet jeez Yeah, That sucks. Bitch. Uh, drop this white shit. Yeah, stop with your white guilt and call the police. You're right. Get somebody over there. Fuck. But she didn't know who the guy was? No, she said he's looking for her brother. I don't know. I mean that's what I read. But then he stormed in and killed her. Then he killed her, then he picked- we went to the Renaissance Fair and picked up a crossbow. read. But then he stormed in and killed her. Then he killed her. Then he picked, we went to the The Renaissance Fair and picked up a crossbow. Yeah. And then he drove on over to Nick Quintez's house. Why did I believe you for a second? I'm like, yep. Yep. Oh wait, no. All right, he had a crossbow.

It's that, you know. Yeah. Yeah. All right. And then he was showing what? But he had an automatic weapon. He was loaded up like he was in doom. He also had a pistol, right? He had a pistol. Yeah, he's on... Why do you have a crossbow? If you have a pistol like this, I don't know He shows up he's dicking around with his pins his pistol on the front door Yeah at the front door waiting for Nick to open it But that like at that point I'm going well if you're there to kill the guy Why are you not like breaking through the window? Yeah, like kick down the door

I'm not saying actually do it, but shoot the door thing out. Well, you just stand there coldly. How many times in your life have you wanted to see if you could really shoot the door out? Yeah, exactly. Constantly. See if there's any oil barrels on his property that you can drive your car up to the house and try to shoot out the gas tank.

See what happens. Idiot. The one time in your life where you could dress up like a candy gram guy. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Get a box. With the flowers.

Put the gun in it. Dress up, well, blazing saddles, which they couldn't make today, you know, knock, knock, knock. Nick Fuentes, candy gram, candy gram for Nick Fuentes. Do the black face. I think Nick might have fallen for a candy gram. That's a I would obviously fall for a candy gram. Riley shows up at my house with a candy gram. I'm fucked. Okay, it's over. He can do anything he wants at that point.

You're telling me you had two hours to plan this hit, to plan this murder that you know is gonna be worldwide famous and you're gonna be like, let's be honest, you're gonna be celebrated by the left and the right for the rest of your life Three hours to think of it and you couldn't think of anything better than knock-knock. Hey Nick. I Do just a lack of creativity the one thing I will say for this guy is I do appreciate the instinct of Well, I already killed some people. I better- Who else can I kill while I'm like going? You know?

Like, who's- how do I keep going with this? Where are we like, what's next? You know? Yeah, that's not worse. They can't give me the electric chair twice. I'm already fucked. Like I'm not gonna get double life in prison and like, you know? I'm gonna kill some assholes while I'm at it.

You know what, I'm going to this guy's- I don't like this guy on the internet. Like whatever. Like I kinda appreciate that instinct. Me too. Yeah.holes while I'm at it. You know what, I'm going to this guy's, I don't like this guy on the internet, like whatever. Like I kinda appreciate that instinct of like, yeah. Me too, oh yeah, I get it. Ah, and these guys are coming out like, why would he do this? Like, well, cause that's like the closest. That's the free one.

He already got a couple and he's like, I'll take a freebie. He got up in his emotions. And now he's trying to do something to the community. I appreciate the attempt, you know? Like, what else are you gonna do while you're waiting around to have the cops shoot a million holes in you? Might as well go after a couple other people. Fuck it. I wouldn't bring the crossbow though. No, I don't agree with that. Just guns

Probably more yeah, especially in America. I think if you're using a crossbow, it's like what do you come on? This is the one place where you tell me you could shoot someone with a crossbow to kill them I don't think so. You're in the one country where mass murder. You probably drove by six gun shops! Yeah! You could wind into- And, again, you're already on your rampage, go to the fucking pawn shop, you know, fucking Terminator a guy.

Nah, that's- Plasma rifle with laser sighting. The risk to reward, the risk of embarrassment to reward of robbing a pawn shop is very way too high. Every time I see one of those videos of a guy trying to rob a pawn shop or a gun store, you go, man, there's a lot of other places you could have done this. Everybody in that store has a gun and they want to kill you. Again, Arnold just made it look so easy in the movie.

The guy hands him the shotgun, he puts the shells in and the guy goes, well, you can't do that wrong So he he then he kills he goes to the next neighbor. Yeah, and he kills his dogs and At that point see that that's the point where you've kind of you messed it. Yeah. Come on. Now you're pathetic and then he Black unloaded on the neighbor like pulp fiction like Like the guy I've watched interview the guy he's like yeah, I don't know how I didn't get hit Outline the Looney Tunes outline and the response that I see about this from people

Not the retards who'd say like Nick's faking it not to people who've like That was a lot of people's first reaction no no definitely He tweeted it from the kiwi farms account officially. Yeah, how's that lawsuit going buddy? fundraiser, okay So the overwhelming response I see is that we got to do something about this doxing problem Yeah, like wait a minute the problem here was Knowing where he lived the problem was that he lives in a house. He should live in a... In a dimension. Yeah, what do you want?

He should live in a pocket dimension. That you can't... What do you mean the... What do you mean the problem is you know... You can know where someone lives with your eyeballs. You can see with your eyes and then say it. That shouldn't be illegal under... Well, it doesn't make any sense.

Someone's location on the earth isn't private data, if they exist! You know, this isn't fucking Heisenberg's law, where you get to exist in quantum super positions on the planet, you are right there! Dick, I was driving around and I saw Danny DeVito walking to his house. Illegal. You can't say that! You can't say you saw a guy going to his house! And then I'm like, this is like like hate speech or hate crimes for the right

Because hate crime is why killed that guy like did you kill him cuz he's black like it is a man I guess like okay, so the intent of you killing him cuz he's black is makes this a different crime, which is retarded right? He's still dead Saying where somebody is like oh, yeah, cuz I love him so much. So I was saying, yeah, I saw him at Porto. I was like, I hate that guy. So I saw him like, oh, well you hate him, so I end this where I saw him. You're going to jail.

Like what? Yeah, that's retarded, man. It's always weird. And again, it's like, guys, this is what I'm so tired of is guys who go, I'm such a free speech warrior. And then I go, but you don't understand it at all. Like not even slightly.

Where you're like, well obviously it should be illegal to give Nick Fuentes his address. And it's like, he's a public figure. Like if somebody wants to go to his house and like. Even if you're not a public figure, you exist. Yeah. What do you mean I can't. Yeah, regardless you exist.

What do I have to think about before I say, oh yeah, I saw that guy at Kmart. Yeah. You can't say that. What do you mean? I hate him. He works at Kmart. Oh, you just gave his address now.

Now we know where we can find him. That's toxic. Fucking retarded. Yeah, it's really like inexplicable to me that I'm like, just, I hate when people like have a thing and you go, okay, just explain to me how you would write the law. Right. What would the law say specifically? Yeah, and uh.

You can't give someone's address. Why do you think it would stop? Yeah. Because your whole deal on the right is like everything the government makes illegal doesn't work. You make guns illegal, doesn't stop guns. You make drugs illegal, makes the problem worse. Let's make doxing illegal. What do you think that's going to stop, man?

Yeah. The problem is this thing of the omnibus bill is just going to get like this. Oh yeah, we put doxing in there too now. There's another page on top. Stupid. People don't, and people also don't understand that there's certain problems the law is not meant to solve. Okay?

Like the law can solve certain problems. Yeah. But you know, people hating a guy so much that they wanna shoot him in the head is not a thing like you can pass a law to like, well we gotta stop that guy from being mad at Nick Fuentes. It's I don't know if he's gonna be mad and crazy like yeah you can lock him up if he like makes a threat like if he gets so angry that he starts doing stuff yeah yeah like when you do like an action right to hurt someone yeah that we can

that we have lots of ways to stop that yeah we can't do it perfectly right if you do something that hurts somebody like what if I do something that? Does something else to hurt them like? Kind of yeah, not really we don't always get it right You know when you go like I burned out on a pride Crosswalk that that hurts every gay person now. Maybe just don't paint the crosswalk a fucking rainbow like maybe what's the point of that? It's the same thing yeah It's the exact same thing I'd use this example only because I saw it today Dave Smith like libertarian Wunderkind right all libertarian super libertarian and he always annoys me because he does he doesn't like walk the walk

This shit is crazy there could be there should be serious consequences for doxxing and the people who show up to the docks Yeah, serious consequences for doxxing and the people who show up to the docks Yeah, serious consequences for doxxing. Mm-hmm. And if you show up to the address, you should get jail time It's fine showing up And then you go time bro, who's gonna fucking enforce that like if you show up to somebody's house, right and they mace you Seems like the problem, you know It seems like you fix the problem. Here's here. I'm eating the guv'n. Here's the again.

These guys don't think it through. Okay. Think about this. All these guys love these videos where Alex Rosen goes to a pedophile's house and knocks on the door and says, you're a pedophile. Let's talk about it. Yeah. And you want to make that illegal because his address has been doxxed and you're showing up without permission

Yeah, you want to make it illegal to fuck with a pedophile. Exactly. Yeah, and they go Oh, well, I'd write the law so you could still do it to pedophiles. You know, well now the law what you're gonna make all these exceptions It's not gonna what are you doing? Yeah, it just makes no sense. Yeah, you like doxxing when it's against like bad guys Everyone likes doxxing even when it's like it's celebrities. There's a whole fucking industry. Oh yeah cool that's Jack's Black's house wow. Yeah awesome I love that guy. How often do we see like the news shows up because like there's like a criminal or a fucked up guy and they knock on his door and they go hey do you want to comment on this fucked up thing you did?

Did you see them go to Luigi, Luigi the Savior's school? Talk to his parents? Oh the school. They went to the school, his elementary school. What the fuck why? Because they're the news and this guy this like parents didn't like it They were going around this elementary school Yeah, so he got a leaf blower and just stood behind the reporter doing his leaf blow that's pretty good. That's pretty great I like that a lot Do you ever see that politician was giving a speech and a guy just keeps going bow?

bow and the guy cannot finish his speech. Well, that's my anti-doxing shit. I mean, I hope Nick sues multiple people into Sues them just to hurt them. Well, he has grounds against anyone who said hey, you know, he lives Okay, if you say like hey, he lives here would be a shame if someone went and shot him Yeah, like now you have a case cuz it's like well you kind of are suggesting violence So fuck it, but don't get don't get the cops involved. Yeah, do not get the cops involved in any of this shit They can't handle it. They're gonna show up. They're gonna show up and kill more people's dogs. I'll be gonna show up They'll just start shooting. They're just waiting for an excuse. Great problem, Dick!

The war on doxxing. The war on doxxing. The white pa- these people don't know about the white pages, you know? They don't know. These should be... They don't know. Stupid. Although, you know, I think nobody gets the white pages anymore. I haven't seen a white-

You can go on. No, they don't exist anymore. They don't exist- no, the printed ones I think are gone. Yeah. Alright, Dick. Well, uh, we were just talking about school. This is another school-related problem. Now we all had our favorite teachers in school, of course. But some of our teachers were not our favorites

because they were creeps. Now I think we've talked about this a little bit before, but I wanted to make an official problem on the board because I had some stories of my own to share. This is the problem of touchy teachers. These are teachers who you just want to send your kid to school, you know, because you have to. They're forced to. Well, yeah. Well, you're forced to send your kid to school. And then you go, well, hopefully the teachers will teach my kids. Hopefully no one rapes them. Yeah, hopefully no one rapes them. It's the first thing you think and then they get raped and you go Ah well, what can you do? And then you hope that they keep all the liberal shit at a minimum. Yeah, they can't do that at all.

Gotta get those, there's a lot of the pride flags going on. Well, Dick, a report from the Senate Let me give a couple stats. A report from the Center for Public Integrity found that between 2008 and 2018, nearly 3,000 educators were investigated or charged with sexual abuse. Again, these are just the ones who are actually investigated. Wait, how many? 3,000? 3,000 in a 10-year period. Teachers?

Huh. But that's just the ones that were investigated. Okay. Because a lot of these guys don't- By the cops? By the cops, yeah. So actually were reported and faced allegations. So perhaps criminal allegations. Okay.

Interestingly, the highest ranking state for sexual assault, you want to give a guess? You're not going to guess. Washington or Oregon? Washington's in the top four. Wow. Yeah. Why do you say that? Because they got a lot of sex criminals up there, man.

Really? I don't know. Yeah, they do. Why do you say that? Because they got a lot of sex criminals up there, man. Really? I don't know. Yeah, they do. Number one was Georgia by a long, like, By a long shot? Per 1,000. No, but like, they're ahead of the pack. Per 1,000 students, they have a rate of 1.09. For every 1,000 students, one of them will be sexually assaulted. Wow.

And the next closest one is Hawaii at.78. So I guess down in Georgia, they're just like, it's a kid, you touch him a little bit. What are you gonna do? That's weird. It is weird. It's just like Georgia. Then it's Georgia, Hawaii, Maryland, Washington. California's not on here despite all our like gay bullshit. Washington the state. Washington the state. Yeah, okay. It's kind of all over the place. California's not in the top 10, even though we're making all the kids gay. So what does that say? I don't know.

Cause they're just raping them ideologically. Interestingly though, they also track separately the highest ranking states for actual rape, not just a, or attempted rape, not just sexual assault. Top state there is Missouri. So I don't know what's going on there, followed by Kansas and the number three, my home

state of Massachusetts. Oh. Well, I have a couple of stories about that. OK. You're a teacher? I've mentioned that. I think I've mentioned this on the show before, but my school had a number of incidents

that I want to talk about. OK. The first was, I don't remember this teacher's name, but this definitely happened. There was a teacher, it was a female teacher. Ooh. Okay. Was she hot?

I don't remember, I didn't have her. Okay, so no. Probably not. Yeah, you would know. But, well, she fell in love with a 15-year-old student. They actually moved to Vermont and eloped, okay? That's the rape. That's the rape. That's the rape.

That's the rape. That's he got locked into a relationship with an older woman at 15. That's a bad one. Now here's one I got a little more details on. Wow, eloped? Yeah, this was- To where? Vermont, like a cabin in the middle of nowhere

just so they could keep fucking it out, I guess. And they got married? Yeah, they got like actually married. I think that she might've had to wait till he was like a little, I don't know what the age of marriage is in Vermont. You might be able to get married at like 16 probably. It's too low.

They gotta change the age of consent for marriage to like 65. That would be good. That would be helpful. Now we also had, and I didn't have this teacher, I was very lucky that I didn't have, a lot of this stuff happened and I just got to hear about it and read the news articles. This one was actually in the news.

OK. What a science teacher named Mr. Gurney. OK? And everybody said, Mr. Gurney. It's so weird that kids and the students alike were like, Mr. Gurney's kind of a creep, huh? Yeah. And you're like, you can just have it.

This was like, I don't know, like 20 years ago, your teacher could just be a creep, and everybody knew about it, and it was fine. Nah, they're still a creep, man? Yeah. And you're like, you can just have it. This was like, I don't know, like 20 years ago, your teacher could just be a creep, and everybody knew about it, and it was fine. Nah, they're still a creep, man. Yeah, they're all over. Well, here's the thing. And they're sending like squads to, they send like activity squads into schools to do shit. Really?

They're full of fucking creeps. There's a lot of creeps. You really got to be on guard for that shit. Well, everybody would notice that the female students in class, he would like hover over them when they were working and be like, yeah, that's some good math there, you know? Kind of like draping over them.

And so the goof in high school was, and this guy had been teaching, he was like an old guy, had been teaching for 30 years. So this was a goof that had been handed down. Like parents of kids were like, oh yeah, we used to do that to Mr. Gurney all the time, was to take a bunch of chalk and rub it on the edge of the desk. Because when he was talking to female students, he would just be banging his crotch against the desk and rubbing against it. And he would always have a big chalk stain on his crotch.

And this was something that, again, parents would be like, yeah, hey, you want to get Mr. Gurney good? You want to get him? Yeah, get him. Rub chalk on the desk because that horny old man will rub his shit against it. Gurney, who worked as a coach and a referee as well as teaching science for 22 years in Amherst, was arrested during a federal investigation of child pornography called Operation Watchdog. What?

Police found 573 images and 85 movies at his apartment. That's it? Featuring, well, usually they have like terabytes. Well, the thing is he wasn't downloading it. This was back like- He's making it himself. No, no, no, no, no, no. Maybe. I don't know.

He was going on websites and accessing it. So he might not have been downloading it But they say he had been doing it. I mean that's the one kind of porn that you should download if you Mean how you gonna find it again? But they said as recently as the same day they arrested him He was still accessing that was like how much is it psych that not only are you looking at child porn? But you can't go ah you know that was like again like what's his name said that guy from the who? and he was still accessing that website. How much is it that not only are you looking at child porn, but you can't go, ah, you know, that was like, again,

like, what's his name said? That guy from The Who, or what was it, Pete Townsend? You can't be like, ah, I was just doing research. I was just doing research. I was just doing research, yeah. So you were doing research every day for the past month? So that was how Mr. Garnie got brought down. How are there not more, like, honey pots for that?

Like, how hard is it to make a fake? Child whatever website. I guess that'd be entrapment like is that legal for them to do? I think problems It's hard to make one real one It's easy to make millions of I think part of the problem is that I think the FBI you're not allowed to like post that Stuff even if you are the FBI So they're I mean they're allowed to like do fake kidnapping plots I think like Google has to like look cuz you know Google will like scan like Anything that gets uploaded to Google Drive to try and find it

Yeah But I think they have to have it on like an encrypted drive that no human being has access to and that the computer I don't fucking know that so like that way there's no one ever has to see it It's just like they compare like what if they make a bunch of bogus sites and Just but when you sign up it goes haha, you're a pedophile. It puts Lemon Party on it. I don't think you can put a guy in jail for that. Just dock some.

Ha ha, you're a pedophile. I got you. There's no child porn here. I don't think that would hold up in court. I think you actually have to access the content. The point is, there's so many of them to get through that the pedophiles could never get to real child porn Yeah, cuz they're just endlessly going like oh shoot back click. Oh shoot back click. Oh shoot

And that's when you run in while they're in the middle of refreshing the page All right. I now here's the one this is the big one And this is why I wanted to talk about this and I've mentioned this before but I have a little more details this time Okay, so back when I was in high school I think I was a freshman. I might have been in middle school I might have been in middle school and was happening to the high school. Oh, you're getting younger I think I was one year away from high school. You're young and tight. So I got away I did not have this guy as my principal. Okay. He left the year

I entered his name was Steve Myers or Stephen Myers. Okay, and uh, I lived in a very liberal town, Amherst, Massachusetts. And I loved this guy, because he was a weird, kind of California hippie guy. And he was like fun and loose and hanging out or whatever. And they're like, ah, this guy's cool. And he's down to earth. And he really connects with the kids. Oh, with his dick.

Well, for some reason, there was a kid. And he invited him with the kids. Oh, his dick. Well, for some reason there was a kid and he invited him over his house to, he said, hey, I got a hot tub, why don't you come over and we'll hang out in the hot tub. And then apparently- Oh girl, some wainers. Steam some wainers. Here's what's interesting is I don't think the kid

was sexually assaulted, but he was like, hey, oh, why are you wearing a shirt in the hot tub? And the kid's like, well, you know, I'm a little uncomfortable about my body. He goes, Mexican, take that shirt off. Let's see those nips. You know, the kids like, okay, he like, he deliberately asked. He's like, let me see your nipples. I think the kid might've said, Oh, you know, I chafe or something. He's like, let me take a look at those bad boys. And everybody was like, somehow it came out. Like I think that kid was like, yeah, Mr. Myers had me come over his house. I was in his hot tub, and he asked to see my nipples.

And thankfully someone in the- It was already bad with the hot tub. You didn't need to get into the nipples. I was- I was actually kinda- it's actually kinda good that the school district went, well that's strange. Like that's not good. Yeah. It's not like, specifically pedophilia, but- Is it Chalk Penis? Is it that guy?

No, it's a little bit worse. It's not the Choc Penis guy. No, it's our cool new principal. They're like, okay. So they're like, well, let's look into it. And they looked into it. Now, when it first came out, again, this guy's kind of like a liberal hippie douche. So there was a lot of parents who were like, oh, you know, he's just that way.

He's fun with the kids or whatever else. He's just like that. He rapes kids. He's just a free spirit. What can you do? And then someone from the Santa Cruz Police Department, we don't know who, heard that this happened. He said, I know that guy.

You guys should check out this document I have. And he sent over a document that was a police interview from 1996 where Steve Myers went, yeah, I raped those two kids Admitted an interrogation yeah, I'm elicited two kids hiring process I mean I don't think you do that. I guess it's probably not you should definitely that's the one well You need like you could do that anywhere, but that's the one place you really should do it. The problem is that he never got criminal charges filed against him.

It's like he had a file, but it wasn't like a criminal. Have you ever raped any kids? You gotta gauge their response. Well, I've never been arrested for... That's not what I said. Next. Yeah, you gotta get out of here. So, that came out, and they fired the guy, right?

And unfortunately, they're like, well, well again with the Santa Cruz thing or whatever They're like all statute of limitations. It's more than like 10 years. We can't do anything about it So you think that if you were like they can't do anything about raping kids I know like dude statute of limitations on rape used to be like a pretty firm like eight to ten years They only they changed it for kids and women start sending celebrities to jail exactly They only they changed it for kids and women start sending celebrities to jail exactly. Yeah That's exactly amazing exactly what I fucking damn it. Oh you guys did something to protect kids a day master should rape me Really? Yeah, it was right

Yeah, it was right. I'm still grandfathered god damn it So as a side to this, after the investigation, Child Protective Services, Mr. Myers had adopted a child. He had a four year old child living with him. Was he single? I can't, I think he might have been, yeah. I don't know if he was gay or whatever. He had a wife. I don't know He's a pedophile well

They took the kid away And then apparently it fucked up the kids so badly because nine years later the kids stabbed a guy to death in a st Patrick's tape brawl Yeah, he probably saw a guy Adopted daddy stabbed the guy he got 15 to 20 years in prison. That's just a weird aside so okay you've been out It's not it's not very apropos So here's the here's where it gets worse. So you've just been

This is the second time that you've had to leave. Actually, I think it was like the third time He had to leave a school district for being a creep And he goes, I don't know what I know what I'll do and he changed his name to something like I don't want to say like Haim Myers and he got a job at a Jewish school molesting Jewish kids and then he got caught again and he went to a Christian school in Africa to molest African kids. That should have been the move. Why don't you go molest Japanese kid, you know? He just keeps moving around. He's like a priest. Yeah, well yeah, but it's crazy that like, he's never been charged with anything.

But here's the thing is, you know, we all remember Mr. Girl, who I also went, well again, we were in the same high school. And he was in the high school. He got molested, 100%. He saw it going on And he was in the high school. He got molested, 100%. He saw it going on. He was in the high school when this was happening. Literally?

Well, he was in the school as this was going on. Now, I've talked to Mr. Girl for many years, and I said, somebody's really gotta, like, fucking expose this guy. It's crazy, this story of this guy who's been molesting kids everywhere. And then a couple, couple like maybe six months ago He goes I go what are you working on right now?

And he goes I'm like six months into making a documentary about Stephen Myers and I go are you kidding me and dude He's been telling me the shit He found out that there was like the first school the guy taught at or he like established a school Or he like was the head of it or whatever it was called like the traveling school traveling pants bro the stories he has told me about this school he's going and he's interviewing people who used to be at the school and they're like the weird like psycho almost sexual like rituals they would like like humiliation rituals he would put kids through where you're like, this is not good.

How did no one know? It kind of sounds like it was a cult. Like this is the most, yeah. He was doing like fucked up cult stuff. And then, and Mr. Girl is like talking to people who taught at the school and they still like can't get it through their head where they're like, yeah, he was a kind of a bad guy, but you know what?

Like, like he taught, like some of them are like, but he was really good for the kids. And you're like, dude, this was a cult. cult like they still they thought this was a good guy. Yeah real quick Do you want to see the documentary for this trailer or there for this movie? Sure. Okay go to Steve There here. Yeah, Steve Myers My ERS project org

Org yeah, you can't get that. Well, I guess I don't know E-R-S project dot org. Org? Yeah. You can't get dot com. Well, I guess, I don't know. Oh no. Look at this dude. He's got, and also the weird thing with Mr. Girl

is I'm like, hey, Mr. Girl, you don't have to interview everyone. And he goes, yeah, I've interviewed 44 different people. Like every time I call him, he's in Santa Cruz interviewing more of these kids and former teachers. Oh my god, really? Yes. This is like gonna be the most expansive Mr. Girl project ever. And it's like going to be... Is he gonna get it on like Sundance or something?

That is what I... Yeah, he wants to sell it to like... He's gonna try to get it there? Bro, he's taking it super seriously and the mo... Wow. I've just been talking to him on the phone and the stuff he's telling me, I'm like, this is fucking insane This is like it reads. I thought it was just like oh this guy's going around raping kids It's like no he was like a cult leader. What was that fucking?

What was that show true detective season one? Where they're trying to find a yellow man, and they're dressing up kids with fucking like horns on their head and shit It's like that deeply disturbing the website website reads like, uh, like, uh, now with all new flavors. Like, 44 pedophile interviews! Filmed and counting! Don't go anywhere else to get your kid rape documentaries! Come right over here to Mr. Girl's Kid Raping Documentary! Oh, you hate this stuff folks, me too!

Nobody hates it more than me I'm excited. Can you hit control plus it zooms in a little bit? Control and the plug. Yeah, there we go. That's creepy as hell And again, this guy is just still that's his mugshot. That's a shitty mugshot. It's not good I don't even know if it's a mugshot or not again. He's never been arrested It's not good. I don't even know if it's a mugshot or not again. He's never been arrested Huh? I have information to share should I click that and fill it out? No, no don't fuck with the here's the here's the other thing He's trying he's trying to interview people and I don't know if he wants me to say this but whatever

They he goes yeah I do videos as this guy named mr. Girl and then people look him up and they're like I'm not doing an interview with you And I go max stop calling yourself mr. Girl to people just say I'm max car but even a max Carson they look it up I was saying I was like dude. Just call yourself superstar productions or whatever Rosenbaum right right, but then he's so he's so like hung up on this moral stuff He's like these people were lied to their whole lives. I can't lie to them again. I'm like alright, man It's gonna make it harder to get these fucking interviews.

Anyway, I actually have not watched this yet, I've been saving it. Okay. It's only a minute. I think that the entire, his entire educational career was always about having access to boys, 100%. I think that's why he chose education. I think that's why he chose education I think that's why he created traveling school. Let's get the kids away from their parents

Let's get them where I'm in charge of them. I check their food, their shelter, everything having to do with them And I've got my teachers with me which was me and several others that have been with him since we were very young So we were trained. Why does it sound like it's raining? It must be like... I don't know. Dude, these are all victims. Why is it like... I just drew in like a little like heartbeat kind of...

It's like the Babadook. The Babadook's gonna come out. I'm gonna say, KRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR No, or a picture of his butt bro like he's got I don't know what I can share But he's got people who are like trying to shut this down. They're threatening lawsuits Like this is becoming a whole fucking behind the scenes stuff That could be its own film like catfish, but I mean I've said like I should put some of them himself in there I don't know, but yeah, you got to become the documentary. That's I think there's gonna be some of it like yeah It's like him being like well. I went to this school Here's what happened obviously everyone's obsessed with fucking pedophilia right now, and so I hope he talks about you know that kind of shit He's the guy who's lived through I get what he's going for. It needs a little deeper, it needs some bass.

You know what it needs like, somebody to go, Hehehehe, I'll get you my... you know? Yeah, you want to... well, here's the thing is, like, the money shot is if you could somehow get that guy on tape. Steve Myers? Yeah, but I don't think it's my area Yeah, but I don't think it's possible You gotta trick him, but he's got like look he's got like archival footage like he's got like old Boy yeah

An AI of a little boy like his blackface thing and then do a zoom call yeah, and then Be the little boy and get him to confess He should team up with Alex Rosen. At one point, Alex Rosen and Mr. Girl were going to have like a sit down conversation. It didn't happen, Seb. Oh, really? Yeah. Why?

I'm hoping they get... I think, I don't know, like, I think it's... There's one surefire way to get a sit down with Alex Rosen. There is a very easy way to do it, is to be a Keno Casino fan. He'll talk to all of them. So look, it's a little bit of a plug, but again, I really find this whole subject. I'm like-

It's a big plug, but that sounds like a really great documentary. That's the thing is like, this is a story that for the longest time, everybody went to my high school is like, how does everyone not know this story? This is like horrifying. Real titillating and disgusting.

And I can't believe it took until Mr. Girl showed up to be like, you know, and thankfully he you know Had his whole blow up with Destiny. So now he has plenty of time to focus on other shit Guys check out subtitle though. Yeah, like the Steve Myers project colon the man who raped kids Well, I told him to call it American pedophile, which would have been a way better title like come on that's a horrible title American Splendor I was born in the USA I've been diddling kids in the USA American Pedophile You should reshoot this movie, keep the interviews in the b-roll and just you narrate a whole different movie

American Pedophile That'd be pretty good I can see the t-shirt all. That'd be pretty good. I can see the t-shirt all right. That'd be a good movie poster, like an Oliver Stone kind of thing. Why does Oliver Stone not make you- American Pedophile. American Pedophile is a good movie.

Anyway guys, check out Steve Myers project.org or follow Twitter for updates at Steve Myers film. Again, that's Myers, M-Y-E-R-S. This is gonna be, if this turns out as I think, this is Mr. Girl's comeback. Well, it's not even his comeback. It's like him moving into the actual realm of documentary filmmaking.

Oh, give me that juicy pedo deets, man. Let me come on. I'm gonna make a big bowl of popcorn. Sit down with my pregnant wife. Oh yeah, look at this Pedophile documentary I don't even know There are any that diddy one I got no interest in watching that one that just came out Yeah, Netflix diddy one I don't really care about that you'd ever see doubt

It's not a saw that in theaters. Yes, not a Theater I think I was on a date shitty date movie! Hey, uh- She wanted to see it. I wonder if Philip Seymour Hoffman really raped that kid, huh? Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. They love- the girls love that shit.

Ooh, it's got rape, it's got pedophile shit in it. There's that one, and then there's- The black kid's getting raped or something? I don't know. Was it Chronicle, the one about the Boston newsroom that uncovered all the priests? Uh, I thought that was like Starlight or something. I don't fucking remember. I don't watch them because I'm like... I saw it doubt. He's gotta be filming himself making this though.

I want to see some of them in there. Like it really should also be about his journey. Because I told him the money shot is him on a bus driving to Steve Myers' house. Looking at a kid and getting like I think I'm getting possessed by the pedophile demon. Or like a monologue where you go, when I see a child, you know, I see wonder,

I see potential. Steven Myers sees go, go, go, go! And then show like a fleshlight in a hot dog, like, boop, boop, boop, boop! And a bunch of mayonnaise like shooting out. No, that's for my movie. That's my movie.

American Pedophile coming to Netflix this summer or South Park announcer voice Okay, is that your problem? That's my problem is touchy teachers My problem is breast cancer charities It's a good problem You know, it's a very good problem. It is isn't it? I feel stupid because I have a They do that breast cancer merchandise the pink merchandise. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they do Yeah, were you gonna talk about that the the they have like a trademark on that Susan G Coleman you can't call anything for the cure. Did you know that? They'll sue you they'll sue you if you say it's a run for the

Cure, they'll go. Yeah, we own the term for the cure yeah I have some and it just makes you think about boobs you know it's just like advertising none of that very very little of the money actually goes I have some stats for you oh yeah no it's like just a big profit-taking fucking machine yeah yeah let's see the government says oh there's a bunch of charity cancer, shit. I didn't organize my stats very well. How to avoid a cancer scam. Cancer patients got about 1% of the millions of dollars

they spent on charity. Oh, maybe I should look these up now. You gonna look up some stats? Yeah, well I was gonna say- I thought I had good ones, but I can't find them now. Well first of all... So I know it's the Susan G. Komen Foundation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And again, it's like just a money laundering scheme. Like the NFL goes, Hey, it's whatever the fuck day, we're selling like miniature pink NFL helmets. Yeah, pink washing. And we keep half the... Yeah, pink washing. That's what it's called. And they don't keep... None of the money gets to cancer patients. They keep a huge majority of the money.

Well, you know what the big problem with the scam is? What's that? What is the foundation's stated goal? It's breast cancer awareness. It's not breast cancer cure. It's not breast cancer research. It's awareness. Hey, hey, did you know about breast cancer?

Yes. Well, then we've done our job. Have you told anybody about it today? No. Wow, we need some more money. How much goes to hospitals? This is 1% of these charities they've busted. 1% cancer patients, 1% of 18.25 million.

I also read that they wanted trying to pass some laws saying like 75% has to go to cancer patients. But some court said that's anti-free speech. Sure, of course it is. It's that magic number. You can't dox anyone either. You can't dox anyone and that's anti-free speech if you do that. You know what I was going to say is I always said fuck that organization.

I'll never give them a dime. There's no way I'll ever support them. And then somebody said we're making a limited edition pink Sega Saturn controller. And I went, all right, you got me. Did you get it? I got it. I have the breast cancer awareness Sega Saturn controller.

I went, that's so stupid on so many levels that I kind of need to have what it has the little ribbon on it and whatever. I want it. I'm like I want the pink Sega Saturn controller. Fuck it. In the space of two years, four million bucks in the name of a worthy cause, but they paid for every dollar into fundraising companies. So that's what every single dollar that they make goes back into fundraising. Well thankfully, I mean we've known about this problem forever, so nobody else would, you know. Obviously, we know that breast cancer awareness is a scam and the money should go to actual, like, not just be like a way to promote your brand or whatever else.

That would be terrible. That's the big risk. It's that you get people's money for donations thinking that they're helping. I mean, look at this shit. This is what the document is. the document went blank. Oh, so I'm really totally blank now there It is open the wrong one. There we go Here we go So this is the latest version of this scam okay? This is called the crow wait Why does it say for a cure? He's not allowed to do that

Eric July yeah, he's gonna get sued, actually. Is it for the Susan G. Whatever foundation? No. It's for the Eric Jalai foundation. Oh, Eric, you're gonna get sued. Oh, another trademark lawsuit is coming his way? Yeah, no, you can't say for, like, 100% they sue everybody who uses that phrase. I've, like, read about it, I'm pretty sure. So it might've got tossed out in recent years, but I don't know. He still, it's gonna cost a fortune to. So one of Eric's employees slash family members,

as he calls them, gets cancer. I don't know what kind of, yeah, it's breast cancer. I would assume breast cancer. Yeah, breast cancer, there it is. Although knowing Eric, it could be any kind of cancer and he just uses the breast cancer ribbon. And his response to that is to make a t-shirt and say that 100% of the net proceeds

go directly to her medical expenses. Now this is a $32 shirt. If you remember correctly, the cost of the kids. Net is profit. Net is profit above cost of manufacturing. So after the cost of the $13 comic book. Shipping, people sitting around tweeting angrily all day. You just gotta pay those people.

Yeah, warehouse costs. The advertising, yeah. Lawsuit, going to gas stations in the middle of the night to meet with the police about me. After all that stuff, if you can peel off a couple of bucks for the woman who has the cancer, then that's considered a success for her. Right? A couple hundred dollars, sure. Per shirt? That's gonna be per shirt. When he had when he was selling cancer, when he was selling charity comic books for, you know, leukemia and all sorts of

things. You know, it was $17, he said, was the cost. Right. So he sure cost more in the comic book. I think it costs about three bucks, right? Two or three bucks. Yeah. T-shirt cost about 16. Yep. So let's say that's about a shirt. She can't get cheap. People think you can. You really can't. So that's about $15 of overhead, $15 bucks. Let's say $14 bucks of overhead.

T-shirts, $16 raw materials, $14 bucks overhead. That's $30 bucks. That means this poor lady is going to pull about $2 of benefit for medical expenses that aren't covered by her employer's health care. I want to look up a stat real quick. Keep going. Instead of the $40 that these retards would have given to her anyway.

Well, here's what I'm thinking is that- For cancer. Eric July is a streamer. I've seen a lot of streams where you just go, we're taking donations as part of the stream and then all the donations. Ralph did that. A lot of people do that. Ended up not being a good move for him. That was bad for Ralph because everyone donated 1488 over and over and over and over and said this is to keep the Jews away from something. So now this is I would like you to point out on this crow for a cure the description of course is long and nonsensical I would like you to point out on this crow for a cure.

The description of course is long and nonsensical. Why this shirt, purpose driven, meaningful design, comfort and quality, inclusive fit. He's got XS, extra small all the way up to 3XL so everyone can show their support, right? This is woman's needs money. This is cancer. You're making like $40,000 a year, you know, very little.

Well, the stat I wanted to look up, Dick, is what is the average cost of breast cancer treatment? What is it, like $150,000? Well, the cheapest would be $20,000. I think that's just if they cut like one thing out. But if you have actual serious breast cancer, you're looking at up to $225,000 in costs. Which Eric could raise if he promoted.

Well, maybe not all of it, but I mean. If he promoted the link. His audience has given him millions of dollars for dog shit. So to save a woman's life seems like they'd give a 10, 20,000 maybe. Now this is the best part. It goes, crow for a cure right on top. Big description, why this shirt?

And then it's a bunch of retarded cult sales shit. Hold on. This is always my favorite part. The guy who writes the descriptions of the products. Go for it. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It's that cross-site guy who somehow can't just go, it's a cool t-shirt and it really helps out a cause.

He finds the most creative ways to explain a t-shirt. It's like you've never heard of it Yeah He like never writes it as if you've never experienced a t-shirt before like the concept of it is foreign to you Yeah crow for a carers more in just apparel It's a symbol of hope strength and unity Graded to support Jordan Jordan crow our beloved video editor graphic designer and storyteller pick okay Really wow

This design features a bold crow soaring against a pink ribbon Representing resilience and determination to fight against breast cancer. I don't think you can use the pink ribbon either I didn't think so either, but I don't know I think both for a cure and the pink ribbon are like 100% trademarks of that charity It's they've stopped from using them in the past unless there's been like recent court cases. I mean how much money do you think this shitty shirt, the profits, the net profits are going to raise for this poor woman?

Ten bucks! It's like the profits suck. You're not going to sell that many. How many ice-sum shirts did you actually sell? Like 500? Who the fuck wants to wear a crow with breast cancer? A rip-a-verse logo with the breast cancer logo on top of it, with a crow on top of it. It's like a shit sandwich. Here's an idea. Why don't you go

for the entire month of December, 10% of your purchase will go towards paying for this women's breast cancer. 10%, a number. Yeah. Of anything you buy, by a comic, by whatever. Because the government says scam charities are one to five. number. Yeah. Yeah. Of anything you buy, by a comic, by whatever. Because the government says scam charities are one to five. So yeah. So 10% is a good, nice number. You're close to the scams, but you're not. And that's a way of just being like, hey, you know, you're incentivized to buy and part

of it's going to, that's what every other company does. They go, we're going to give for this week or this month or whatever, a portion of the proceeds will go to this. They don't design a special magic t-shirt. And promote only the magic t-shirt. Yeah. there's a lot of good ways and also downplay Yeah, the legit like charity donation site and also I okay I now I know that I'm gonna get blamed if like they get a fucking letter from Susan Eric deserves to get sued for this I'm gonna email them. I know they always blame me just for bringing it. They're like, oh, see, you're trying to instigate a trademark lawsuit.

I'm just saying, like, I thought everybody knew that you can't use this stuff. I'm going to have a meeting at Texaco on the outskirts of town with the Susan G. Komen Foundation. I just thought it was really common knowledge that these guys are super litigious. In June, Jordan was diagnosed with breast cancer and a BRCA2-associated genetic condition. No one knows what that means. He doesn't know what that is. Making your fight even more challenging.

Known for her boundless creativity, sharp wit, and dedication to others, Jordan has inspired everyone around her. Now she faces mounting medical expenses for treatment. It's our turn to rally behind her. With a fucking t-shirt! It's perp- why this shirt? Well, they're gonna explain why it's a shirt. Because it's purpose driven.

100% of net proceeds go to Jordan's medical expenses, helping her- Not sure how much. Per shirt. A lot! Oh, yeah, well we don't know. What's the number- what's the number dollar per shirt? That's helping her out with well Hold on it's gonna explain why the design though the determined crow you see that look of determination on the crow Pink ribbon and gold shield reflect courage resilience of the community standing strong for a cure

I really hate it wait wait wait wait wait, but it's not for a cure to This also doesn't make sense for a cure for cancer. This is not for a cure. It's to for a cure to... This also doesn't make sense. It's not for a cure for cancer. This is not for a cure. It's to help a person... Like it's not cure... It's not curing cancer. Yeah, when you... It's like chemo. Yeah.

Cutting out the cancerous tissue. For a cure is a phrase meaning like we're gonna find a permanent cure to cancer. It doesn't mean cure one lady. You're using that term wrong. Look, we're using this to cure the cold. We're gonna get soup. We're gonna get new blankets. When they say we're looking for a cure for dementia, it doesn't mean for Steve. It means all of it. But your money's not going to cancer research, it's

going to a lady. And it's an inclusive fit, which means even big chunkers can wear it. Wear it proudly, share her story, join the fight, we will win. By wearing this shirt you're not just supporting Jordan, you're standing with her offering help and strength in her fight against cancer If you're not interested in the shirt, okay, they do very very bottom very bottom very bottom Also, you're not interested in the shirt But wish to help please consider contributing and or sharing and then it's the go fund me page down here together We rise for a cure. That's not what any of those words mean.

Now, what's interesting about this, Dick, if I can take the mouse for a second. Yeah, go for it. Is this us? Is I remember at some point we were talking about how rip-a-verse employees are all contractors, right? Yeah. They don't have health insurance.

So they don't have health insurance, which is something that I anticipated. I just wanted to say again that this is one of the scummiest things I have ever seen anyone do online. Really, one of these scummiest. Someone gets cancer and their response is, I'm gonna sell an overpriced shirt and instead of telling people to give you 40 bucks, I'm gonna peel you off a $2 bill

I'm gonna go to the down to the bank and get you a nice fresh two to hand over to you If we can sell these, you know, obviously I got bills Your other your the employees that work around you are gonna make more off every shirt Then you are getting for the cancer. She can't even even say no. Like what are you gonna say? No I'm highly offended by that. No I want to gouge your fucking out. No I wish you had breast cancer for suggesting such a thing. You got to just say yeah. I hate it when people just have to say yeah. Yeah use me I guess. Use me to exploit my cancer to sell your fucking t-shirts. Well that's the thing, it is a promotion of the Ripperverse. It's like, look at how great we are.

Yeah. Now I'm gonna hope privately Eric Jalai sees his employee and again, he's a multimillionaire supposedly, maybe gives her $50,000 or something, but. It will be because of me, if that happens. It will be because, once again, I have raised awareness. Once again, you explain how charity works to Eric Jalai. Scam awareness prevention.

It's an upside down ribbon. Now somebody said I had completely forgot about this again This was about what was this a year ago? This from January a talking about how Eric July's employees are Contractors and what might happen? Eric July has all these Contractors instead of employees So he doesn't actually have to pay them benefits or work as comp and all that bullshit. It's cheaper that way.

It's why Uber works the way it does and DoorDash all that bullshit. Anyway, go fuck yourself. God, that's going to be the worst when the first rip averse employee gets cancer and we got to do like a rip averse. They're going to do one of those it's cancer. What do you mean? I mean, like, something's gonna happen. Is it really handling all that cancerous materials? I'm just saying, every time, you know, there's like an organization and they have to do one

of these GoFundMe... Vito, the GoFundMe would have been great. Yeah, I thought he was... I predicted... That's the move. ...that it would have been him going, hey, we've set up a GoFundMe. Can you imagine? It is funny though that I was like, you know, these guys aren't going to have health insurance.

What happens when something happens? That's the problem when all your buddies are contractors. You could do a GoFundMe. You wouldn't sell a fucking t-shirt. Could you imagine if I had cancer and you're like, hey, I made a plushie? Yeah, well that's a good idea. I made a lunch box. That would be good.

A lunch box would help. We could sell some lunchboxes. Okay, so if that, as if that wasn't bad enough, here's how, so my position is, Eric made this shitty shirt, and he's purposefully hiding and spiking the donation link, because to him, that's money on the table that he wants a cut of. Well, also- Like he's using his celebrity to promote the cancer,

so he deserves a cut of everything. So he's downplaying the direct donations. Go ahead. I was gonna say also, if you go to the GoFundMe, I mean, it might mention that she's a Rip-A-Verse employee, but it doesn't directly help his brand. Right. Like it's a thing of being like,

look, it's the Rip-A-Verse, we're his brand. Right. Like it's a thing of being like look it's the rip-a-verse we're helping out. Yeah. You know like he wants to control it a little bit. Yeah okay so this is this cocksucker talking about the all you have to do is say if for what I'm saying to say you're burying the the GoFundMe like you're burying her actual direct donation. Say there's a GoFundMe. All you have to say is no I'm not right a free Riley dot fund right here. We go look at this shit There it is I love these guys This is Eric and as talking about this Bruce with a fire

Can we show the shirt for Jordan and drop the link everybody this is a great cause if you grab a shirt and donate Oh, we showed it earlier, but I will show it again for you guys that don't know one of our team members Jordan she's video asset manager she manages our whole entire video editing she's been the editor of mine personally even long before the Ripperverse some of those long-form videos that you guys have saw when I used to do the video essays back in the day those were edited By Jordan was recently got diagnosed with the cancers even fighting that for a little bit now

And we are doing something for her in this shirt So it's something you can give for pre-order right now where all the net proceeds are gonna go directly to her We also have a link to our gifts and go if you don't care for the shirt and just want to drop some money You can do that again Make sure you be paying attention to as I would say with any of these guys as far as how much of the money they get Go look at the process goals information Go is a hundred percent Christian organization. They only take out credit card processing fees.

They didn't shut down the Canada trucker. It's the most good people that you could ever possibly have. Is he insane? And he's fucking saying, he's sliding it in. Yeah, you can go to her, you can go to give to her directly, but then, you know, you've got to watch out for those scam sites. You got to make sure it goes to her like, bro, you of shit Eric. I hope you get fucking breast cancer you fucking cocksucker This is a I can't like I was listening to the clip and I was like it can't be that bad

And then he goes well you can donate to go fund me, but maybe Let me play that baby. Don't yeah, but be careful. You know careful be careful What the fuck just say don't do that again pre-order right now We're all the net proceeds are gonna go directly to her We also have a linked all the net proceeds, which means you know nothing two dollars. Yeah two dollars It gives and go if you don't care for the shirt and just want to drop some money You can do that again Make sure you be paying attention to as I would say with any of these guys, as far as

how much of the money they get, go look at the process, gifts and goals information. Why don't you look at the process? Give a dime. But because he knows it's it's zero. Eric, your job, if you're going to promote a charity, is if you're really worried about it, why don't you go check out the site and be like, and guys, you know, I looked into it. This is ghost. Give, send, go is great.

Give me this money. but you can definitely trust them so he goes you know and I don't know if you can trust them so maybe you know would better just get the shit whatever you're gonna do trash it's total fucking trash I don't know what's going on total fuck I was not expecting that at all yeah me either I wasn't gonna bring it in until I saw that. I'm like, you're out of your fucking mind, bro. Well, I wanted to mention something, I mean, because it's on a brand. What are you looking for? I don't know if I'm gonna find it.

Keep talking. No, that's it. That's my problem. That's your problem. That's a good problem. Total cocksucker. And I don't want this to be mistaken for go help that woman, because there's other, there's people in our audience that have cancer

or whatever that I would prefer to help more. So don't take this the wrong way and think that we should like band together and help this lady. Cause I totally am not saying that and I don't agree with that. Just to get that, just to get out in front of that. I don't want any kind of support building up, you know?

You deserve the money more. I was gonna say real quick is a mecorandum has breast cancer too. There we go, yes, yes. If you guys wanna help somebody directly who deserves it. Who deserves it. Well, I don't know, I know she's kind of- You deserve it more.

She's kind of a controversial person, but me and her have been, she was like, don't you hate me? And I'm like, yeah, but I don't hate you so much that I want you to die of breast cancer. What did she do? I don't know, fought with some I want you to die of breast cancer. What did she do? I don't know, fought with some people on the internet. So look, this is how you do it.

You just have a page with cancer, there. Yeah. You wanna give money to someone with cancer, you promote their link, you don't say maybe it's a scam. Yeah, okay. All right, so there you go. Or here's another thing you can do. Or give to Eric's employee.

Just, you know, if she survives, she keeps working for Eric so remember that even better Yeah, that's a good one by the suicide shirt Don't forget to check out the patreon.com slash biggest problem and get us see the bonus episode there you go Oh that money is going for cancer treatment alright dick. Yeah, did you play in UFO sound? Yeah, all right last problem with that shit. can believe- I can almost believe it at this point. Yeah! Cause you thought it would be a GoFundMe!

And it's scummier! That would have made sense to me. Alright, Dick. I told you I have a surprise problem for this episode. Oh, okay. And my surprise problem is the problem of surprises. Okay. So, uh, I don't know how to feel about surprises and that's kind of the problem is that Sometimes you're like a surprise would be fun, but then there's like all this fucking like

There's all this anxiety around a surprise Well, I've been surprised many times All right, like we've every sitcom seems to have an episode about there's gonna be a surprise party for a character. It's all the anxiety of like, oh my God, what if they spoiled a surprise? Have you ever had a surprise party? No.

Me neither, I really watching TV as a child. It's so funny, they always say, when I was a kid, I really thought quicksand was gonna be a bigger problem in my adult life. I thought surprise parties were gonna be like just this common part of living life as an adult. I've seen a bunch of them. It's always just for the woman throw.

The surprise party is for the woman throwing it. Well, there you go. And then you're like, oh wow, I gotta validate all this. Like I understand the excitement of a surprise, but it also has a lot of pressure. Okay, like a guy has gotta keep his wedding proposal secret. You know, how did you propose by the way?

I didn't propose. Oh, well, you should figure that out. They got the whole, the baby gender parties they have now. We got a surprise everybody with whether it's a boy or a girl. You're gonna do one of those. We do want a gender reveal party. I don't know. If it's a girl, you set the house on fire.

Yeah, that's No point if we did a Dick Masterson gender reveal like live stream and like if it's a girl like you just set something on fire That would be pretty good. And if it's a boy you do a couple laps and throw a football. Yeah, I wouldn't It's a girl. I'll take money back from the cancer donation And then there's also terrible like surprise ideas like you ever see the videos really surprised like they tell you don't surprise people with a Pet you know like oh, I got you a dog you're like what the fuck I didn't plan for this at all Yeah, here's how bad I am at surprises is The other day I'm at the Costco navigating my way through a bunch of Asians Okay, and I saw something that I was like

That might be a good gift for dick, but because I'm retarded and I got all in my head I'm like, well, what if I buy it and he doesn't like it? So instead of surprising you with a gift I called you and asked you if it was a gift you would like and then after I hung up I went I'm retarded. It would have been so much better if I just gave it to you and you were surprised by it. Like, what is the, I don't really, I didn't really understand the point of the call. I know.

I got so in my head, I'm like, well, what if I get it and he doesn't like it and then I spend the money on it? And then I go, it would have been a cool surprise This shows all about surprises. We have a box full of toys filled with surprises that you definitely don't like yeah Which it so is I don't like that's the thing. I'm all fucked up with surprises. I'm not good at yeah Yeah, so the point is that I've got me a gift, okay, and I already the one you told me the word is yes Oh, so I ruined it, but I mean yeah, but it's possible possible. It's different. Here's what I'm hoping I'm hoping that I may have described it in a way that you will still be surprised Okay, this is your this is your Christmas present. Oh wow I try to get you something, but I couldn't find you don't like me

And I get it yeah Just give me that turbo graphicsrafx and we're good. If I knew where it was. Give me a Lugia. You can find it. If you can find where the fucking TurboGrafx is, it's yours. Here's your holiday present. Maddie has obtained a plushie. Yeah.

So this is your present. There's also a second present in there. Is it a gun that you have behind your back? For 80s. If I just pulled out a gun and killed you and then killed myself, that would be the best episode we've ever had. I don't know, I think I could fight that off. I hit you and then I'm going to Nick Fuentes' house to just give it the old college try, you know? Alright. That guy really missed the game-winning shot is all I'm saying. Dude, it's so bad Vito's oh, yeah, you needed the big treasure box today

Okay looks heavier than what you described it as So I open it I think you should open it and hold on maybe before I open every package I ever get now, I open pointing away from my face. She's worried. So I put a gun in here. Here's what I'm going to say is, look, obviously, it's been a wonderful year for the show. There's been minimal fighting and nothing but love. And this is a celebration of the fact

that we have pushed through it all to bring our audience great comedy. And I wanted to celebrate one of the fact that we have pushed through it all to bring our audience great comedy. And I wanted to celebrate one of the best comedy bits from the past year, at least one of my favorites, and I hope when you open this, you'll understand what I'm talking about. Okay. What the fuck?

Oh, wow, okay. Don't- that's for later. That's for her? That's for her. We'll look at that in a second. Uhhh... It's a, uh... It's a dragon. Now as we all know, the Costco is full of Asians.

Asians, yeah. And the Asians have invented... Jesus Christ. Your Costco is really fucked up. I don't know how to get this top off, but this is a glass crystal dragon as you remember We love dragon statues on the show, so it's actually a callback to two different bits This is a mythical Chinese dragon filled with your favorite thing in the world alcohol

So let us and let's take off here, and I wish do we we have, can we put on some, hold on real quick. Some what, Asian music? Can you put on Chinese, type in traditional Chinese music? I got it, I got it. We're going to unleash the dragon here tonight. Let's see, traditional. God, they love this shit, don't they? This is what they love. This ornate packaging that's like mass produced?

Welcome, Dick. I want this gift to take you back in time to the mythical land of China. China! This is Emperor Napoleon Brandy. It's probably cheap garbage, I assume. And it comes in this delightful glass dragon to celebrate the eternal spirit... Damn it, I took my knife upstairs. The eternal spirit... Oh, I knew there was an IPA in there! Thank you. I have my tiny shitty knife. Yeah, let me get that one.

Okay. To celebrate the beauty and the majesty of the Asian people who frequent the Costco, this delightful dragon will bring you hours of joy as you consume the insides I mean Vito this would have been so much funnier if you hadn't told me everything about it on a phone I know like I'm really bad at gift-giving oh my god that was a close one so can we hold this up here so everyone can see the knife is out there. There we go. And look at that.

Is this like the dragon from Mulan? I think so. That's Eddie Murphy going, hey Mulan, you don't know nothing about nothing. Ooh, you got a nice dick, lady. Bring that dick on over here. Get in my car. I called up Dick because I was like, will you drink brandy? And then you were like, I don't know, it's kind of sweet.

And then I went, oh god, it's going to be a terrible gift. I mean, it could go good with and then you were like, I don't know. It's kind of sweet and then I went Oh god, it's gonna be a terrible gift. I mean it could go good with eggnog. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I should yeah. Well regardless even though I yes, I'll even though I spoiled the surprise obviously I think this beautiful glass dragon Celebrates an interval celebrates a friendship that is more more eternal than than even the bright moon of the Chinese sky. And I'm gonna turn this off to see whether or not it's a... This is for you. Oh, okay.

And I get the Auto Blow AI Ultra. Which celebrates the fact that I am terminally alone. Can you believe it, folks? Are you gonna use that? I don't know. Do you like jacking off? No, you gotta use that, it's cool jack- I like jacking off but I've never- this is like huge. Yeah, you gotta like- you gotta like get a machine going to jack off. The problem is it's not the kind of gift where I can try it and then be like,

Oh I don't actually like it, why don't you take it back? I got another- no I got multiple ones for me. Alright, I'll take it then. I will use it. I will try it. Use it. I will. It goes- they got videos that stink up with it. They got videos that sink with it. I will try it. I will. They got videos that stink up with it They got videos that sink with it. Yeah There's like a guy the video of a guy fucking you in the ass and then that thing sucks. Well, I'm excited Again guys, I want you to vote up too many Asians at the Costco. This is really atrocious

This dragon what the fuck is this ball? I don't know. It looks like a clown nose. Now the more expensive one was the complete zodiac with a glass figure for each zodiac sign Also filled. How much was this? It's like a hundred bucks Pfffff Whatever it's worth it. It's worth the gag. I got the boot. It's got the boot issue like in It does have the boot issue. You got a twist I think you're supposed to pour it out. Does it come out the mouth? No, it comes out the tail It comes got the boot issue like it does have the boot issue. You got a twist I think you're supposed to pour it out does it come out the mouth no it comes out the tail

How would you not have the brandy come out the mouth that would make like it's spitting fire It's probably harder. That's gonna get all over the place well regardless like a duck than a dragon. No, that's a beautiful dragon I was also like dude how I've been driving around with that thing in my car for two days. I'm like, oh, I don't smash this fucking dragon. Well, thank you. You're leaving this bottle in your car. I didn't want to bring it inside, I didn't want to move the fucking thing. Oh, here we go. Okay. That's how you open it. Wow, thanks Vito. You're welcome. And I also have an additional present for 80s girl.

What is it? Well, I know that she's pregnant, which means she's soon gonna be useless and fat. Soon? Soon and the stereotypical Pregnant woman is who sits around eating chocolate bonbons. So here's an entire bag Oh, that'll last about two days. When she's, you know, having the pregnancy cravings she can reach over for a bag of a Vito's delicious chocolates And we're gonna fatten her up. I'm gonna ruin her for you Latches this do you got it peeled peeled it off? Oh my no, it's got like a snap here. Let me see here

Break the goddamn thing. I guess. Yeah, I think you might have to snap this off. Try it. I don't wanna break it. That's a little hard, isn't it? We're not gonna drink it now! You drink it later! I don't wanna have to take that thing off later, though.

Well, later you can take it off. I'm gonna be thinking about it for the rest of the show. I was given a dragon statue, which I of course loved from the fans. I do know why. And now you have your own. Yeah, I know. It arrived shattered and disgusting. Luckily this one is still intact. Look at that. I like that it's like sciencey.

There you go. And pipety in the ass. Now we each have a dragon statue. Mine is in the trash and yours is full of liquor. Wow, that's amazing. Merry Christmas. It's so Chinese it doesn't even feel like black liquor. I know. I mean I don't know how good Chinese brandy is gonna be, but I'm sure it'll be fine.

I can't tell. I don't know any kind of brandy. I mean, again, the Costco is so Asian that half the shit was like Jing Chao rice wine Super gift set and I'm like dude. It just is going to China now when I go to fucking do they have those hats Yeah, the little rice picker hats, I don't know what you do with them They keep the sun off when you're picking the rice see whatever you're doing. Yeah, whatever you're doing They got a they got we doing surgery. If you're like the the meat department They got like a bunch of like what was it? What they got like a bunch of crab and shit whatever Asian people eat they got fucking mochi and all that It's all Asian shit now. Okay. Um, thank you. That's the show. Our problems are touchy teachers Surprises perhaps ruined surprises. Yeah, whatever. it's good enough it's better

than nothing like what are you calling me about if I like brandy for I don't know I don't know you're more of a liquor guy than me and I like I assume you might have like a discerning like that's another problem is like liquor snobs that's a real problem yeah you know have you seen the other guys with Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell? Yeah. When Mark Wahlberg learned how to dance to make fun of that guy for dancing, I was like, I feel so much about this character.

I want to learn so much about Whiskey's Dragon's Cup. Like, no, that's not, no, no, no, no. What are you saying? It's not that good. This is not better than that. Yeah, I think I've just dealt with a lot of liquor snobs where you go, you know, Oh, you know, I'll just have like a Jack and Coke and they go Oh, you're drinking Jack Daniels and you're like what and they're like, you know drinking like, you know, Tommy Bronson's fucking limited edition air boat oak barrel soaked whatever the fuck and you're like I'd imagine it like like me saying to you like do you like Chili cheese fries. Yeah. Well, I thought you were like a food snob,

because you love food so much. That's me for alcohol. I get bar anxiety. I always feel like the bartender is looking at me and thinks I'm a pussy. That's the alcoholism, man. I don't feel anything about it. I'm like, well, whatever.

I need it now. Because I want whatever the fruity girl drink is. And I'm worried he's gonna be like oh That's just for like college coeds you fucking bitch Why would he say that because I assume that if you're a bartender? I don't know like you have opinions about the customer I Get too much it's a stupid thing I do have a lot of issues you ever watch kids in the hall you're with that show You ever see the sketch a girl drink drunk. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. Okay, what were my problems? I'm

like, that's me at the bar. You go to the bartender, he's like, what can you get? And you go, let me get, you know, just like whiskey, you know, mixed with some chocolate syrup, two strawberries, crushed ice, not blended. I want one of those twisty straws with the umbrella. I'm like, yeah, this is my drink. That's what I want. It's food. What you're ordering is food at that point. That's why I like the Tiki bar though. The Tiki bar, yeah. It's just food.

It is just food. There's fucking, dude, you get the scorpion bowl and it comes with like a whole fruit platter in the fucking middle. You're like, ooh, a little pineapple, a little cherry. Edible assortment. All right, with a little bit of liquor in there. Oh, whatever.

You like martinis, right? You get an olive. Everybody likes a little food in their drink. Yeah, one olive. Even though I brought in the problem of shitting your drink, which makes no sense. Now I'm thinking about it, I go, well, wait, I do like some shit in my drink. The war on doxing and I forget what my other problem was. Oh yeah, breast cancer. Yes.

Charity scams. Breast cancer charity scams. Guys, vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show. Don't forget, biggest problem bonus episode, the biggest problem in winter, which has been called one of our best at patreon.com slash biggest problem. And we got a new bonus episode coming soon. We're gonna figure out what that is. You have the keyboard. Oh, I'm sorry.

If you go to, oh, it's right there. Yeah, you want me to, you got it? Yeah, go for it. Guys, get your super chats in now, and we're gonna talk about it How's everybody doing? How's everybody? How you doing? What are you doing for the holidays? Me? Yeah Did you get anything for your nephews? I got a ton of shit for them. I still haven't got anything for my dad Freaking out

I wish I could bottle my anxiety and just give that to him. I'm sure you'd love it. I think I think what didn't I have the problem of trying to buy presents for boomers where it's like they have everything. I know Does he have a shed? Yes Is there anything you'd buy him for the shed? A shovel. I think that's the thing is that you should actually get him. You remember those plastic boxes I was showing you? He asked for nail clippers. I said, what do you want?

He goes, I'd like some nice nail clippers. I'm like, man, are you fucking jerking me off? What's your fucking problem? You know what you have to get your boomer appearance is like technology they would never consider themselves. Like those ear cleaning cameras. Oh. Because that's something that they'll never,

they probably don't even know exists. The trash on Instagram. Yeah. Cause he's never been on Instagram. Right. I was going to get him that bird feeding thing that's got a camera built in. Okay, yeah, that's cool.

For my mom's birthday, I literally just went on AliExpress and I bought like $200 worth of Chinese crap. Just everything. I just went, scrolled down the list and it was like cactus lights and I'm like, yeah, fuck it. It's like Snoopy mug. I'm like, yeah, yeah, fuck it. And I just sent her so much shit and I said, whatever you don't want, throw out. And she kept getting all these packages from China and she's like, what is all this shit? And then she's like, well, I kind of like this moon lamp and I'm like, that's it. All right good We're good. Do you like the moon lamp for Christmas? I almost got you I got you a spot on that show hoarders. Ah, well, they said we don't want to find anything

We don't want to see okay. I'm actually organizing pretty well. Everything is coming together. Here we go guys super chats Cardinal Cardinal for five We love veto cool for two. Thanks for not killing yourselves synthetic. You know, we for two. Thanks for five we love veto coup for two thanks for not killing yourselves synthetic shinobi for two Thanks for not killing yourself diamond G for two we love dick Diamond G for two say wait a minute Synthetic shinobi for five Biggest problem is having a sore neck all day cuz you slept the wrong way the night before because of a long day of work at the dick sucking factory That's pretty good Jacob for

That's pretty good. Jacob for a 800 Japanese yen, which is currently worth $4. Vito, add the backed by members to the list of Vito files. My name's been missing for weeks and it makes me big sad. I need to find a better way to access that backed by list. So maybe Dick can help me out with that. Hippie Terrace. You gotta get your wallet, your Metamask wallet. Yeah, I'm confused about how to log in.

I always fuck it up. Hippie Terrace for $20 big dollars. Happy Haga Days. You know, you should do your own version of Vito's Booty where you bring in a case of beer and if Rich Behaves he gets to keep it. Well, he got the dragon. But if he acts like an insufferable F-sler again, you get to pour it down the drain. Nah, that's not how alcoholism works, buddy. Yeah, and also, this would not bother Dick because he'd go, okay, I'll just go buy alcohol somewhere else Which he does every day Atticus Figgs gives us six euros. Thank you turkey sandwich for 9.99 You are such a goofball. You leave so many comments that grav- that go from like wildly Aggressive to like supportive. Yeah back and forth on all the patreon's I love your support and I love seeing your name

But god you are a goofball turkey sandwich for 10 team fortress 2s penultimate Comic was released on January 10th 2017 with the final edition promised soon It finally released today almost eight years later, and it still came out before super killing well Ngr lover goddammit Doesn't make it better. Uh, I can't read this. Someone who renegotiates is a re-neggar. And someone who negotiates a substantial gain is a gain-neggar.

God damn it. I mean, but one of those is already a word. Yeah, re- is already a word. Yeah, re-nag is a word. And for two he says Vito is a gain Okay, great. Frog Tony for five. Fast food deals when you're on a diet is the biggest problem. I'm down 25 pounds by simply eating less.

No bathtub ozempic needed. What's your excuse, Vito? I enjoy food more than you. Addiction. Britsman for two. Fuck, marry, kill, dirty, Dalish, mint, and cat girl. Oh, I'd kill you. You gotta pay more for getting me to answer that question. More than two. What does the F and the M stand for in that? What? Fuck, marry, kill. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Black Crimson for 50

Australian. Thanks for the snacks. Thanks for not killing yourselves. It's time for Vito's Christmas booty. Okay. Johnny Rock the snacks. Thanks for not killing yourselves. It's time for vetoes Christmas booty. Okay Johnny rocker five. I got a super update that said it would be done Okay, I sent an update and I said it will be ready in q1 2024. The update was up for about two minutes I know it got sent to everyone's email, but I fixed it after two minutes and I still get all these people going Oh, oh, it says it's coming out last year. Oh And I'm like yeah, all right. You messed up the year I'm an idiot. You fucked with people you got me j-rob detailing for five euros. Happy Christmas boy

Cheers has man for two dick hates women, but acts like them you should see my parking Frank Lucas or five episode 71 of biggest problem around Two minutes, holy shit whoever sent this I patch in this feels amazing You should see my parking Frank Lucas or five episode 71 a biggest problem around two minutes Holy shit whoever sent this eye patch in this feels amazing Oh, it's like a little bit pricey the other one was not not as nice I bought were like a flat piece of felt it feels like shit You got to move the patch though because I can see the snap what you got the snaps for it. Oh you want to hide those What what do I care? I got no eyes. I know. But I'm just- well you should slide it- you should slide the actual patch slide. Stop.

What are you talking about? The patch slide? No! Okay. Well then, eh, nevermind then. Uh, Frank Lucas says, Veto in episode 71, call someone out about not releasing their comic after two years. Episode release 12-31-22. Well now it's been four years for that guy, so whatever. Who are you calling out? I'm not calling them out.

At the time, I was talking about, I was starting to get interested in comics. And I said, hey, he's got this comic. How dabble in this? How dabble, how dabble? How hard could it be? He has a comic called Rainbow Brew, which is a cool idea, and everybody's excited for it.

And at the time I said, I don't know why he doesn't just get like another guy to help him finish it, but he doesn't want to do that. And now he's finishing it, so that's great. I'm not being smug, I understand that things take time. Including my- Man, he's got so many ideas. Like what we take to-

He makes a lot of stuff, that's kind of the problem, is he's like, I'm like, dude, you're making too much stuff. Is Helephant, is he involved in that Beyond story? I don't know. I hope not because- I know he had the hope not because then it has like more legs. He's not drawing any of it. Yeah, that's what I want. I want his ideas like off on their own branches, you know?

I mean, if you look at Ethan's art, like it's not a problem, but like the re- like it's so detailed where you're like, dude, this must take fucking forever. Yeah, but even just like, I don't know, I just want, he's good at spotting talent, so it'd be cool to have, just for him to do an imprint. He's good at spotting talent. That's why he's never offered to work with me. He said, this Vito guy sucks.

No, we love VVs. Talent and, you know, other things. He sent me talent, what do you, he sent me action figures, I'm talented at playing with action figures. Detective fart in my ass for two, this is Mary Tits miss and a happy newbie. Did you see the detective fart in my ass? No, what is that? He's the guy he's Eric's buddy on that cake on the in the court document Oh, no cut out of him and it's talking like him for a mess down a lot of fun

I missed out on a lot of fun. We all make mistakes I missed out on a lot of fun. We all make mistakes. We all make mistakes. I've been in this game for a long time. I know you have. I know you have. You can believe me that it's funny. I'm not fucking around. If you paid attention, I was dumbfounded. I was like, I don't know.

I'm like, why are you looking like... Because I thought the whole thing was just that the case got dropped. And I'm like, why is that funny? I don't get it. You didn't say you had documents I Got I was like I don't know what to say Get it if the law fucking sucks the prosecutors look like fucking dicks alright next time. I'll go explain to me Why it's and if I say it don't go oh, oh you know why it's funny I'll go dick. Can you explain what's going on? Why don't I do that? I'll do that cuz it's like maybe

You don't have to tweet before the show Oh Vito can't even celebrate what's going on the Vito celebrate what's going on the veto loses again Maybe maybe that You know which puts me in the belief. We are a little defensive. I'm like what's going on? What is this easy to fuck with you are yes? I'm very easy to fuck with All right Cardinal Cardinal for two deck built like a munchlax who got put on a diet. I think he meant dick Cardinal Cardinal for 10 I love you, though That's snorlax's baby form Oh Jack built like a Munchlax who got put on a diet, I think he meant dick. Cardinal, Cardinal for ten, we love Vito. What's that?

That's Snorlax's baby form. Oh, Munchlax? Yeah, it comes before Snorlax. Does he look buff? Probably. He's like a tiny little... Buff guy? No, Snorlax, the big fat...

Well, yeah, Snorlax is like a buff bodybuilder that let himself go. Sure. So I'm... Munchlax is tough. Cool, thanks. You're a Machoke. Cardinal, Cardinal for 10, we love Vito even if- Wait, Machoke is the little boy one.

No, Machop's the little boy one. Machoke's not that much older. Machoke's like a- Machamp is an adult man. No, Machamp is like now Tyson. Machoke is like Tyson in his prime. No. Yeah. Machamp is huge, he his prime. No. Yeah! Machamp is huge, he's got four arms.

Yeah, they slow him down, he's not as fast. Hmm, okay. He's a bruiser, but I would rather have a Machoke build, like, yeah, you're in there, you're fast. Fucking Tyson now is an alakazam. Yeah, well. We love Vito even if he's a Guido, who looks like Greedo and needs to go on keto. Balder the Bongo Boy couldn't pay quandal dingles water, okay Fonda Kai it was started out good Fonda Cox for five veto the only thing preventing you from being the best version of yourself

Is you and you're the best at it? You'll never succeed not on your watch Wow camera for two say my name Eric say my name exactly Should have played that song Say my name say my name. I know you put Riley in a fucking jail cell What a fucking lame same name I played that song soulful strut. What is that song? Town anthem yeah, that was a good one. All right. TBF for five. That felt so good, man.

Just listen to the episode where Vito the Smelly realized he had zero shot with Dalish, never laughed so hard, he smells so rancid. Five bucks? You deserve more than that. I don't want a shot with Dalish. Here's, OK, here's what I hate. Come on, everybody wants a shot with Dayleash.

You were like, you were- You say no. Here's what I hate about any beef with a woman, and this is a problem I should have saved, is that it always comes down to, you just wanna fuck her. Dude, you just wanna fuck her. You're just mad that you can't fuck her. And I'm like, no, that's not what it is.

It's not at all. Yeah, but it's the only thing that makes sense. Like why would anyone beef with a woman? Why would a man beef with a woman for any other reason? Because his idiot simp friends listen to the woman and the things she says for some reason. I'll be honest with you, when women are talking,

half of it I can't even understand. Sure, but I think- Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. half of it. I can't even understand sure but Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah Movement is it's just hashtag believe women and people go I'd never fall for that shit And the woman goes vetoes a piece of shit. You know the only reason he's mad is he wants to fuck me They go yeah, yeah, that's true. I don't know no no no no no no no no no no no that's more of this hashtag believe I don't know. What is the truth then he like respects your opinion? That's not a thing either. That's it. Okay Anyway, if everybody if everybody, if your fan theory

is that I want to fuck Dalish, then congratulations. Who doesn't wanna fuck Dalish? Me! Oh, I don't. Not enough penis? No, she's like a, I'm not gonna say. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You did it you baited me again. You did it again. It's fine. It's not my type of girl, okay? That's it. Not everybody everybody has a type. Not your type of lady you know. Yeah, I like older ladies as we've discussed Contrary to popular opinion okay. What do you mean? How old is Dalish? I?

Assume she's in her like 20s. Yeah, okay, you want like a I want a lady who's either my age Well probably my age or... 40, 50. Well, probably my age. Oh, okay. Yeah. A hot fart Dingledorf for 10. Read my name properly this time, Vito, Minton Riley, Minton Riley, Minton Riley,

and Riley Superkiller Never Mint, and Riley Mint, and Riley. Nailed it, Canadian. Thanks. Thank you. Laurence Devaney for two Australian, Merry Christmas, and hubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubbubb We gotta incorporate that more. Strategery for two, it's fine people. Merry Christmas and hububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububububub I'm Jerry and coke for two. Merry early Christmas you f slurs. Thanks. Righty-tighty 91 for two crying Fox laughing turkey sandwich for

Two delayed and homosexual shit lips for five. I hope they're late next week to pineapple for five. Merry Christmas Bet two bag of shit gorilla biscuit stocking stuffers for all what the hell is that? What do you know a biscuit you got something in your throat man? Joey to tone for two latest show in the universe. OK, here's why we're late. I am back on Chinese magic drugs, which made me not eat all day today. So I went to Jack in the Box and I got a thing of small curly fries and a grilled cheese sandwich and a small Sprite.

I know I shouldn't have the Sprite, but I haven't eaten anything else today. I don't know. Well, here's the other thing is like when you're on it, the reason I get that stuff is like it's got minimal ingredients. Oh yeah. Ingredients. You can't have too many ingredients. No, but I'm saying like, like if, if it's got like a bunch of like sauces and shit

on it, I will get like nauseous. Oh, if it's got like a bunch of like sauces and shit on it I will get like nauseous. Oh Yeah, like it's got like a bunch of ketchup and like whatever shit leaking off it like I need like plain like like chicken fingers Or whatever or just like basically or else you get sick. I Feel sick like eating it when I'm on it was in a pic if I'm like really in the like throws of it So I eat like just simple shit like if I go to McDonald's, I'll get like a hamburger with nothing on it. Wow, that's weird Yeah, so like but then like again the reason I get a sprite is I'm like, I don't know. It's like yeah Yeah, it feels that way. Is that weird? It's like kind of seltzer. I like a 7-up like if I'm really sick

Yeah, like when you're sick, you drink it Yeah, I know it's not good. But like if I got anything else is like has the chance that I might feel weird and throw it up Joey to tone we did that hog fart for five ultimate and powerful arbiter of comedy veto Please tell me if my super chat is funny or not. It's not pop quiz for five This is my favorite part of the show pineapple man for two gorilla biscuit, Gorilla Biscuit Tits are Quaaludes by the way. Oklovich for two, Tardy again, that's two demerits each, come on guys. Stratergery for two, many episodes lose, but this episode won, 69, nice. Hazmat for two, the only time Vito made me laugh was Trans Elvis. Trans Elvis was good. Well thank you very much. Mr. Poop Snorkel

for two, says Cunny, okay. Second Genesis for five, I'm just glad that my best friend Vito is having a good time. I think he keeps super chatting this every week. Stratergery for five, now that I have a fun image of Eric Jilai secretly submitting business docs proving that Dix was legally a giant turkey. This was a fucking clandestine meeting out at the at the racetrack gas station at the edge of town. I'm owning my failure. I'm oh, no, I'm owning it I mean just imagine it. I'm outside of your fail. It's not about you. Just imagine this imagining it and

I got shit. I saw the I saw the bunny sticker video Hey, nine one one. Can you send the police out to a gas station ten miles away? There's an archive of this video you did talking about it, right? It's on Rumble or something? Yeah, or somewhere. Rumble, guys, check out Dick. Is it the Dick Show Rumble? You can see Dick talking about the whole document.

I honestly don't know where it is. I fucked up. Not you fucking up, though, but the meeting. Yeah, it's good. I got all flustered. I'm like, what's happening? I need an escort. You didn't tell me that that was there. You should have told me. I'm like, what's happening? I need an escort. You didn't tell me that that was there.

You should have told me. I just knew it was gonna be stuff. There's always good stuff in those documents. I'm gonna chalk it up to a miscommunication error. Clap Trap and Destroyer for five says a Richard Basterston plushie would be tight. Generic is washed for two. Rick Basterston shipping Q1 2025, just like Superkiller.

Tiki the Mighty for five, the Rick plushies inaccurate. The hair is too well brushed. Yeah, that's true. Well, because when I brush my hair, I get like triangle head. If we get enough money, I'll go. That's what I was going for with the triangle head. No, you've never seen how bad my hair can look.

Why don't you take that? It looks so fucking bad. Cody Titus says the Rick face plush is too big goes to Freddie Dick how far do you have to go to wash your how far up do you have to go to wash your face? I have a ladder. I have a stepladder in the shower It's a tertiary for two hairline so far back. I thought it was neck hair Mr. Poops are gonna go for two says sell the doll Edo I'll sue you Cody Titus for five looking extra yellow today

John just not on your side. I don't know who that's directed at. Clipsama for five kids don't care about build-a-bear They like roblox, skibbity toilet, and hock-to-a. Yeah, they like skibbity toilet. Well, I've never heard a kid be like I like build-a-bear. Is it for like really young kids? It's for fat Latina women. I guess. has man for two I did it once with a girlfriend. We went to build a bear I was like, yeah, this will be cute and then whatever man has man for two. Thank you Vito for the stinger You're welcome. Cool for two send in the McDonald's Eva toy to vetoes tootie. Did you see that? Remember those and in the McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah Yeah, back in the day, remember McDonald's had those Transformers

So it was like a thing of fries, but then it turned into a robot Yeah, those sucked Those were awesome! What are you talking about? No, those were dumb I like those They were like shitty Transformers Yeah, I know they were shitty because they come with a dollar fucking Happy Meal It could be better though

Okay, well yeah, they are better They're making Evangelion ones, which are like full sized They're making anime toys and Happy Meals? In Japan. So in McDonald's Japan they're making, again it's the fry package or the cup but it turns into one of the Evangelion figures. Do they do transforming in Evangelion? No. Oh. Seems a little transformery. Seems like if I was Transformers I would go that's bullshit like that's our thing whatever I mean, yeah, it's a they can turn into different one of them can turn into different forms Eva oh two can go is a beast mode and

Some shit pops out of its back. Okay, you know the worst thing about Evangelion is the fans. That's part of it They changed the robot designs from the cartoon to the new movies. So now like- Are the movies cartoons? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What? But the robots look a little different. Yeah.

And the red one has like a new design that I hate, but all the toys that come out are the new red robot and not the classic red robot So I'm like I want the Evangelion transformer, but it's the new red robot and I like the old one Isn't that terrible? Isn't that awful for me as a fan? And they made it so the girl Oscar has like a fucking eye patch and a hat and they only make- An eye patch? Yeah, as her eye gets gouged out.

So they only make fucking toys of eye patch, Asuka. And I'm like, no, I want classic Asuka. I don't want eye gouged out Asuka. Who wants a fucking eye patch chick? They've got giant robots and they can't replace your eye? That's a good point. They should be able to replace your eye. Stupid. Well, they probably lost most of their... They probably lost most of their resources after third impact.

Yeah, probably. Yeah. Garen's running on a shoestring budget. I know. There's no need to explain anymore. I know. Everything you're talking about, I agreed. So just move on.

You know, Gendo's probably not funding that. No reason to explain it. Sarah Garten. That's how you know I've had a relationship for 10 years. The Madvokit for five, huge shout out to Vito for helping me out this week. I'm now officially a Vito-phile. The Madvokit has another charity helping out animals,

which he probably should have reminded me what the name of it is. But if you go to my Twitter, we're helping out some sick. It's called Men and Pets. Yeah, there you go. They're the map squad. Maybe next episode I'll remember. Sarah Gardner for two, Merry Christmas,

you filthy animals. Thank you. Tarynny for 20 Australian. Build-A-Bear has acquired the Disney IP which has drastically increased their sales this year. Also all their sales are trans women buying cute stuff thinking it makes them more girly. And this is from a shopping center manager. Get those socks. They're probably getting that Funko Pop money. It's like their collectibles now. Moo Moo Vito for two, Moo E Christmas. I guess I'm a cow now as opposed to a pig.

Yeah, that's me. That's yeah. Dick's the cow, you fucked it up! You don't know the lore! Cody Titus for five, no audio problems, Dick just subconsciously misses Sean. And I'm- Holy fuck, I am sabotaging the audio on purpose! Hoooo! To try and summon Sean back. You're going, if I make the audio worse and worse,

he'll have to return. Oh, man. I'm trying to subconsciously convince myself that I need him in a utilitarian way that's not emotional. Wow, what a breakthrough. You're also giving yourself reasons to call him. You know? It's like when you break up with a girl

and then she like puts sugar in her gas tank so you have to come over and help her fix it or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you know, I know we're broken up, Sean, but there's just so... I don't know how to... How do I turn on the TV and get it to like channel three? Like, you were always so good with the TiVo and I can't figure out the TiVo. These limiters and compressors, I don't know what's going on!

No! It's like my ex-girlfriend, she goes, I'm so good with the TiVo and I can't figure out the TiVo. These limiters and compressors, I don't know what's going on! No! It's like my ex-girlfriend, she goes, how did you make that pasta that I loved? And then I gotta walk her through how to cook fucking pasta. It starts with sucking my dick. Yeah, that's part of it. Moo Moo Vito for five, no audio problems, Vito's just absorbing the low frequencies.

That's true. He's gotta get a big guy in here. Stratergery for five, Matt is trying to mod Final Fantasy to give Tifa mega melons, but instead you forget a close bracket in your code, and Seth O'Rough chucks dicks in my ass. OK, it was funny. You got all. It hasn't been funny forever.

And that one was funny. Thank you, Stratergery. Boss Hogg for two Canadian, puts a dollar sign. That's a good one. Jarrion Coke for two, Mass is trash, Vermont is full of cheaters. Dean Shock for five, thanks for the laughs, boys. Jump for 10, I lived in Georgia my whole life.

My middle school coding teacher was known to knock paper off his desk and make female students pick it up to look at their asses. I've seen it myself. Still a W state though. You guys have a one in a thousand rape stat in your W state? Coding teacher, what the fuck class is that?

I don't know. Coding, you had women in your coding class? Coding teacher, what the fuck class is that? I don't know. Coding, you had women in your coding class? That's a good point. Wow, okay, what were you coding? Hollywood for five, Merry Christmas, gentlemen. Pidger for 20, my favorite part of high school was when the teachers made priest petto jokes when it was an open secret that the teachers

were all guilty of the same stuff. Captain Boomy's for 20 20 and I do have to apologize I remember one time when we were doing the 24 7 live stream captain boomy's thought it was live and gave us like 50 bucks I was like, oh, it's not live. I'm sorry I didn't see it though camp boomy's for 20 Santa would be a libertarian in his remote bunker Violating every nation's airspace and accepting cookie tokens for goods Oh, yeah, that's a slave labor slave Oh yeah, slave labor, slave child labor. Johnny Rocket for five, spoiler.

Elves live forever, so whatever age they are is essentially a soldier. There you go, it's indentured servitude or whatever. Johnny Rockets for five, spoiler, Mr. Girl catches up to Steve Myers, unmasks him, and it's another Mr. Girl. Ah! And then it cuts to him and Andy's holding it,

and it's just long shot of him in a field, like the end of True Grit. I hate to say it, but it would actually be an excellent way to end the documentary. It's like all this buildup of he's like, I finally agreed to meet him, he's agreed to meet me, I'm finally gonna talk to him.

And it's just a guy in a black hood, and he goes, are you Steve Myers? And the guy just nods. And he goes, can I take off your mask? And the guy goes, yeah. And he takes it off. It's just him. And they're just staring at each other. And the crane, the crane just pulls out the overhead shot, the drone shot. And then, and then it just has the title card, American pedophile, a film by Vito Giswoldi cut to black You can't call it pedophile though. It's gotta be something else American

American predator that's a good time. No, it's gonna be about the predator. Call it predator for yeah Colon not like the others AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA Predator 4. People are like, oh awesome, like on the marquee. Cool, they made another one. They go in and they're like, something's weird about this. When's the Predator gonna show up the whole time? They're waiting. They're waiting the whole movie. Jumper 2. Shout out my petto teacher, Mr. Blaylock. See everybody had one. Straturgy for 5. Did you know if you equip the ice some cap, crow t-shirt, and rip a verse heat absorbing shorts, you get a full armor, clockwise rotation damage bonus. Oh wow, okay. I didn't know that. So, Tergory for five, more money to the biggest problem than the 1099 employees get for breast

cancer. And King Stylo for five says you mean Emperor Napoleon. Empyrean? Emperor Napoleon. You mean Empelol? Empelol? Empelol Napoleon? Empelol Napoleon? Or is it more like a Napoleon? Emperor Napoleon. You mean Empelol? Empelol Napoleon? Or is it much good Blandy? It's the best Blandy you'll ever have.

Wow, look at this shit. That's a very good Blandy. It goes very good. I thought you were going to bring in some Cavassier or something. Well, what are you going to do? Let's see, we got a couple more super chats. Pigeon for five breast cancer show ever. Tool chest for five says fat.

Parko, Ronco, Como for five. No, the dragon is chasing a pearl of wisdom which represents universal truth and knowledge. Chinese people would see this gift as bad and ugly. Oh, the pearl is red? The pearl of wisdom is red? Is that right, Ritardo? He's chasing a red pearl of wisdom? I don't know what the fuck's in his mouth You don't know the goose for five Richard by your dad a meat thermometer for the turkey next man He already has so many Wi-Fi meat thermometers. Don't you get him a pizza oven? He has one you're fucked Oklavich for two Chinese people are bad and ogre at booze is cool

You know what's funny is a you know that Jimmy O Yang comedian, the one from, he was on Silicon Valley. Didn't see it. He's an Asian comedian who used to do a podcast with Dr. Kevin until his career completely blew up and he left Dr. Kevin in the dust. But he has a, I was going through a... I was trying to find the old episode of Too Many Asians at the Costco

and it goes from one month ago, Jimmy O. Yang why are there too many Asians at the Costco? And I went, oh, a cocksucker stole my bit! God damn it! So Jimmy O. Yang also agrees. Michael, three for five, my name's Vito and the woman of my dreams is dressed like a pirate.

Michael Winning for two, Dalish only has eyes for Balder. Michael Fee for two, Vito the Guilf Warrior. Ryston S Bailey for two, Dick plus Vito equals Ron Jarrett. That's not good. I come buckets for two, tit cancer chick needs a steel toe style goal. Steel toe, you see steel toes goal. When he does that show, it's like the amount of money

he needs to not die. And he's got the whole audience, the whole time he's gonna go, guys, we're almost at the goal. We're almost at the goal to pay my rent basically. That guy's weird. He's a weird guy. Michael Feefe for five,

did Eric July go after Riley in a vain attempt to combat? I can't believe Nick could stay hard with him in the room and that like face that Aaron Imholt has. My theory- Like that's, Nick, Riketa has, I don't know if he's mainlining Blu Chu or how many he's eating at the same time, but if I saw that guy's face, I wouldn't be able to. Here's my take on Riketa is,

he, how would I explain this? I wouldn't be able to here's my take on rickada is He How would I explain this okay, he's a man of God kind of Right him maybe Well, that's all God people. I think he was like the good Christian thing for me and my family Is to move to this small town full of snitching nancies. Yeah.

And he realized, oh, this sucks. I need people to hang out with. Okay. And the only person around is Aaron Imholt. I agree with you. I don't think there was anyone. I can see that. He's like, no one else understands anything about internet culture.

He's the only possible person I could talk to about this, because there's no one around for miles. Yeah. And even though Aaron Imholz is probably a big... And there's this hot ass chick that's coming around. Her husband sucks, but whatever. We could just go hunt on my property. It was like a friendship of convenience,

where it was just like, he's there. There's no one else around. And then as soon as you get drugs, you get drugs involved with women. And then you get Aaron Imholz, like, fame hunger, fame slash cum hunger, and mix that in, guaranteed orgy. Is it? Right? He's been looking at cuck porn,

and it's like in his like history, Aaron Imholz. He looks at cuck porn after, he goes to Kiwi Farm. He goes to Kiwi Farm to read the Krakata's thread, and then he goes, looks at cuck porn after he goes to kiwi. He goes to read the cricadas thread And then he goes looks at cuck porn. Yeah, and then he takes an hour break for some reason It's pretty bad. I Don't know how you live that down man. That's uh, is he even alive? Anyway, I was gonna say I think I hope after Nicaracan fucking troubles are over, just move somewhere fun man.

Go anywhere else. Move somewhere where they don't have church. Start there. Yeah. Start your own church. Yeah. Yeah. Why not?

Anywhere. He's still, his plea has not happened yet though. It's got pushed back. No it happened. He accepted it, but they have to like it takes time to kick in or something But the details of what it is haven't been really haven't come out. Okay No, it's some kind of ban on but he's not going to jail not going to jail some sort of ban on what drinking liquor That's the sticking point. It's gonna be drugs. Yeah, cuz they're already illegal But then is liquor no or not?

Is it gonna be like years of liquor prohibition or not? The government can just make you not drink. Isn't that crazy? That's retarded. Like, it's a legal thing, what do you mean? I can't... Yeah. ...drink alcohol. Well, can the government, like...

Like cocaine? Why? Yeah, that makes no sense. I need the liquor now more than ever. What if you get like a rum cake from the bakery? They're like, oh, you can't do that. What if you want to cook with cooking wine? Yeah, it sucks. It's unreal.

What if you leave like juice in the fridge too long? You leave some grape juice in the fridge too long and it accidentally turns into wine. He's making Pruno? I was going to say, if I was Nick, it's like, well I don't got to buy alcohol. I can just make some prison wine. Well they test him, they can test him at any point, that's the problem. Yeah, they can just burst in and test if there's liquor in his system. Yeah.

That's a tragedy. It fucking sucks. And then, but the other problem is, doesn't that mean he can't leave the county, right? Like he can't move. No, he can do whatever he wants. But he can't drink. Cause he'll test him. But who, but if he moves to like California, who's going to test him? The California cops?

I don't know. They'd like transfer his like case work or whatever. Maybe. I don't know. Can they? I was going to say, I think- Can you just leave where you're- I think you're prosecuted by the state.

I think like as part of the thing, it's like, well, we have to be able to test you so you can't leave. No, they can't do that. That's how I thought it worked. Cause otherwise. Really? Otherwise, everybody who gets put in, like you have to go to drug treatment or whatever, like you have to not do this, would just leave the state

and go do it somewhere else. Well, then you get a warrant, though. To bring them back? If you don't do treatment, you get a warrant put on you. But he'd have to show up for testing at a testing facility. Yeah, but if they say, hey, you have to come to a testing facility to see

if there's alcohol in the system, it's have to come to a testing facility to see if there's alcohol in the system, like, well, he's going to have to take a couple of days to get there. Bag and mail it to Aaron Emhold, who can taste the whatever spectrum he can spectralize it with his mouth and see if he's been drinking within the last, you know, six years. I just hope it works. He shouldn't have been living in that little shitty town with his only friend being Aaron Emhold. Yeah, I think, man, I never thought about that, but I think you're right.

Dude, absolutely, why else would he be? Like the only person around here There's no one else around who like, like who understands being online is this fucking Dude, we hung out with him in Philadelphia and I think he was the happiest he ever was to hang out with a bunch of other internet guys, to hang out with like, you know, fucking Carl and whatever. And I'm like, dude, this is your element. Get out of fucking

bum fuck nowhere. He should honestly move out here and just hang out with you. You guys would have a ton of fun. Well, we would have. No more liquor. No more fun. Michael Fee for five. Derek, shall I go after Riley to try and combat the 1350 statistic? I don't know. Alamacore.com for five. I was going to send this $5 for cam horror, but decided to give it to my two favorite cam guys instead. Is that gay? Thank you. Yes, it's gay.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Shit. Oh, no, never mind. OK. Didn't do anything. Michael Phebe for five. Merry Christmas, Dick and Vito. You two entertain me more than any movie, film, or song.

Thanks for the laughs. Thank you. And Christ be with you both. Good taste. Thank you. You do have excellent taste. we got a couple more here agnostic Uzumaga 2 Vito you must tickle him activation code make rib detective farted my ass for five I've heard of hair of the dog we never asked of the

dragon and quarter trust for five Vito on hoarders is like when I found a copy of ISOM in a crackdown Alright everybody, you know what time it is! Let's do it! What's the game where we smash all the toys? Pee-toes, poo-wee! I'm a man who tweets about little boys! Pee-toes, poo-wee! What's in the box? You know you want it. Pee-toes, poo-wee! So get on the scaler, I smash it to shit!

Pee-toes, poo-wee! Pee-toes, poo-wee! Pee-toes, poo-wee! Pee-toes, poo-wee! Pee-toes, poo-wee! BOOTY! BEETO'S BOOTY! BEETO'S BOOTY! BEETO'S BOOTY! RATATATATATAPOOP! What's it gonna be? So I was thinking about this the other day.

It's Christmas. I knew you would say that. Yeah. I knew you would say that. Uh huh. Cause here's what I was thinking. Okay. I said The normal human thing to do right would to say it's Christmas right

Christmas is a time for giving gifts. Yeah, and I've been giving veto garbage forever Yeah, wouldn't it be a good way to celebrate the holiday spirit and the spirit of the show and friendship by finally giving something veto something good? Yeah, but then I thought uh-huh. It's dick Masterson, right? So I would do the opposite so the funniest thing to him would be to subvert expectations and punish me But then but then I said So here's what's gonna happen I said... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm gonna get on the scale in the spirit of Christmas and whatever's in the box is going to be bad that is my prediction, okay? And let's see what happens Fucking asshole I know you thought all this through too I know you had that exact same thought

Yeah, yeah It's Christmas, it could be anything It's gonna be good Uh, oh shit, wait a minute, my fucking thing is logged out I need to track it though My fucking thing is logged out. I need to track it though. Oh Oh

What does it say? What the fuck man? The fuck V-Sync! You fucking cocks! Cock sucker! Yeah, what does it say? To stand on it. I can see it from here. Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Oh shit! Here he goes. Here he goes, ladies and gentlemen. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I forgot already 286.7 okay, we're below 290 again Wow

That's great. Well when Vito loses ended. I was at 280 right? Yeah, so you're almost back. Okay. Here's what we say Fat guy only gaining six pounds over the course of a year I know that's not a huge win, but it's like definitely better than it could be. Okay? Cause there is a universe where I did absolutely nothing for a year and went right back to 310. Yeah. I know no one believes me. There's a universe where you lost, you're at like 250 and super killer three is out there.

That universe is way better than that one. I get it. There's a lot of universes. There's a universe where I didn't spike the Eric July bit because I was so confused last week, okay? Lot of mistakes happen. I will say this that could have been shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up All right, we're on a course correction. Okay for life. Everything's coming up. Yeah, everybody's happy Whatever feuds might be out there. I'll say this. Yeah, I love you whatever feuds might be out there I'll say this yeah I love you no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no anybody in the new year You know what life's too short

You know a lot's been going on I get it And this is not look this is not to anyone in specific a lot of people I'm fighting with okay I'm still fighting with yellow flash yellow flash fight me you fucking pussy. Yeah, that's a good one That's a good one, and I want to fight with that guy and I just think we got a great show here And I'm so glad to all of you, and let's see what here's what I got you This is vetoes to D if it's mother's milk It's not mother's mom. I'm opening it. Oh, okay. It's Danny trejo and a bunch of you've added coins to the box who sent those coins in see I thought I Went through the same process you went through Yeah

That it's gonna be that you're gonna think I put something good in and that I would do the opposite But then that I would put something crappy in and that you would say I knew it was crappy Yeah, so I wanted to give you I wanted to give you the satisfaction of being right which I which I think is really It's really the even smash it right no you took it out of the box stupid I wanted to give you the satisfaction of being right for Christmas that was my plan great so you're welcome I was right and I guess that's the biggest present of all being right you know yeah that's great I'm so happy that I was-

You said you would weigh yourself. I knew you would weigh yourself. I knew you would weigh yourself. Because you couldn't avoid the chance that it was a Christmas thing. But that you would couch it in the saying that it's crappy. Oh, you saw all of that. I knew that was going to happen. So I wanted you to be right. I just want to be very clear that for Christmas, you get a Magic Crystal Dragon.

Liquor, an addiction that I have Full of liquor I am addicted to liquor, yeah And I get a Danny Trejo Funko Pop that was sent to you by someone else It's cool! You got the auto blow too! Great, I get to jerk off Yeah, you're not gonna buy one of those for yourself

Incredible, I've never jerked off before in my life It has an app HAHAHAHAHA It has AI I will use the auto blow Merry Christmas everybody, vote on all the problems at biggestproblem.show Thanks to all our supporters throughout the new year And we love you All you crazy cats out there

Yeah, have a good year Good new year, happy new year, be with your family Alright, goodbye everyone Buh-bye Have a good year. Good. Good. Good. Good. Yeah, happy new year be with your family. All right. Goodbye everyone. Bye. Bye