The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 172

Episode Date: January 11, 2025

Looks like total shit looks like shit shit Trying to think what else happened. I found out a buddy of mine back in Massachusetts is selling comics on whatnot and making a fortune Just out of his fucking house. Yeah He's this he's like a landscaper guy who just always loved collecting comics Yeah, and now he's just flipping them on that fucking and my buddy's like, did you know Larry? He's like, oh, he's like a 50 year old guy bald guy. He's like do you know Larry is making like Ten grand a month selling comics on whatnot. I'm like what the fuck This goes on he goes, it's crazy. It's crazy Larry's

Is he really crazy no he's the least crazy guy I know he's like a totally normal like middle-aged dad I finally though finally my buddy with the card store cuz I've been telling him like dude just sell on whatnot He's like yeah set up like a whole thing well He got a bigger seat. He's moving into a bigger space in the mall He's at so he's gonna actually do it He said and the other good part of it is that he has this Asian kid, Jody, who works for him. And he goes, the best part is I can take Jody off the front counter.

And I go, wait, why? And he goes, just go look at our Google reviews. And all the Google reviews are, it's a great store, Seth's a great guy, that Asian kid who works the counter is a piece of shit, and I'm gonna kill him. Why? Because he's just got this weird way about him where it's like, hey do you have this thing in stock?

Ugh, I don't know man, I guess a look or whatever. Oh like he's like larping as a comic guy? He's like, he's that guy? Like everything's like a bother to him, but he thinks it's like funny and jokey and it's like no Jodie, people don't get that. Where he's like, oh, like somebody's like, Harrods. They get it, they just hate it. Well they'll like bring oh, like somebody's like, Harrods. They get it. They just hate it.

Well, they'll like bring in their Pokemon cards and like, are any of these worth anything? He's like, these are shit. Like, why'd you bring me this shit? I can't do anything with this shit. Just like a piece of shit. And you're like, bro, just kill yourself, man. Just be friendly.

It's like a normal fucking- Answer questions like flat. Yeah. Like a robot would do it. Don't put your personality into it. I mean, the guy's good at running, and he does all the online sales and stuff. And he is a funny guy, which is why

he'd be good doing the streams or whatever. That's the worst thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he should not be running. I'm like, yeah, why do you have Jody running the front counter? That kid's nuts. So I'm going to hopefully, I don't know. I was about to have another microphone disaster here.

Oh, my god. Oh, yeah, there we go. Yeah, we were spiking last week. We just can't. We're not spiking this week, right? No, we shouldn't be. OK. I should have went back in and chopped out

the beginning of the last episode. You can do that? Yeah, but we lose the live chat. I mean, that one I would drop it, because yeah, but I forgot to do it. You guys cry so much. People like to read their live chat, but if it's a sacrifice, you know audio quality is obviously more important. Yeah, okay. Okay. You ready? Yeah. Oh, Switcherino! Wow! Switcherino, am I in focus?

Yeah, I think so. You want me to try it? You look good. Yeah, I think so. You want me to try it? You look good Everything's good. You had a power. We've all been having power outages So all the equipment's been going off and on of course. That's why the show is late. No other reason. What a week It has been quite a week. What a week. It's really shitty in a number of different ways. I Natural disasters, you know Well looming down on you. At first, I was like, well, this is, it's good that it doesn't really affect me. But then I realized, okay, Vito,

you know how you've been like thinking about, I would like occasionally go on Zillow and go, yeah, give me a couple of years. Maybe I'll buy one of these properties. And I realized 10,000 houses just disappeared. All those people are gonna be buying up whatever houses are in the area. Like the housing crisis is just about to get way worse in LA.

Wait, why? Because those people are going to buy other houses to live in? With what? I mean, a lot of them have money or something. They might rent, but they've got to live somewhere. Oh, OK. I see. They could live in tents.

Yeah, we'll set up tents for them. So now you're back to what? No house dream for you? We'll see what happens. Maybe you could get some fire relief. Maybe I'll get some fire relief, yeah. You could pretend that you were burned out of your house. I don't think the fire relief is going to be good.

You know who I should have brought in for this episode? Because I should have let him tell this story. Who? You're going to have somebody come in this episode? Well, Dr. Kevin. OK, episode? Well, Dr. Kevin. OK, why? Well, Dr. Kevin, I think you know this, has recently gone through a horrific divorce.

Very sad. Oh, no. Yeah. And his fault was it? I mean, it's the woman. What do you mean? It's a divorce. It's not a business proposal.

You got too big. So anyway, I've been talking to him for the last, I think this was like six months ago they got divorced, maybe a year, I don't know. I've been talking to him, he's really pumped out. What do you talk about? Well, I'm not just talking to him about just the divorce, but like, you know, we talk about, I mean, he's kind of on the MRA train, it seems like. He's like, listen to a lot of Rogan, man.

I'm listening to a lot of... Has he read my book? He should. He's got to get... Yeah, get him a copy for Christmas. So I know... For Valentine's Day. I know the set, and I think I had talked to you

where he said, like, you know, he has this house, but everybody moved out. So he was like, maybe I could use it as like a podcast studio or something. Oh, yeah, that's what we need, a divorce podcast studio. In his divorce house? Yeah, commune. All the divorced dads can go there and podcast.

Well, I'll say all his, you know. Set the tone. I think the money situation, I look, I don't know exactly what happened, but it did come down to he went, you know what? I just can't make it work. It's not financially viable. This house I had for 10 years, I gotta sell it, you know?

And it eats away at my heart. That's the house where I raised my children, but I gotta sell the house. You know, he goes and he just tears me up and says. Yeah, okay. And then like two days ago, he sold it like three months ago. Two days ago he calls me up and he goes,

oh my God, I'm the luckiest motherfucker who ever lived, cause that fucking thing burned to the ground. Yeah. His house burned to the ground? Dude, the one he sold literally three months ago. Oh no. He sold that house. Watch, he sold literally Sold that house It was in a nice area a brand new million dollar house

And then it burned down in the whole fucking things God and all to Dina and all to Dina Yeah, he lived right in the midst of all that shit. His house is complete and he's like, he's like dude Oh my god. I mean, let's be real. I sent him a message of like, you really dodged a bullet. He's like, well, you know, it's a tragedy for whatever. I'm like, no, you dodged a bullet. Yeah, so his reaction is correct. His reaction was a terrible question.

You changed his reaction to your reaction. I didn't do that. He said, he posted. You see what I mean when I'm always saying that you do this? I know. He posted a somber little Facebook thing where he went, well, you know know I love that house or whatever else. Yeah, my reaction would be

Is that the house you were standing in front of I did I did a podcast at that house one time that is always worn down Or now or no I did a bad cast back before I had been to that house. I did it was a nice house And he sold it right at the right time. Lucky as motherfuckers I went oh, that is lucky. And if you didn't get divorced you would have still been in the house So maybe maybe the numbers. Wow you'd be really fucked and sad if you just got divorced and your house burned down Exactly, and you're living in a tent owing your wife Half of the- So it kinda, it kinda worked out. He couldn't have rebuilt it. He would have had to sell it to FEMA or something.

Oh no, he would have had nothing. Like, he would have been- Oh wow. So he really did. Dr. Kevin, I think- He's all, you know, on Facebook like, oh it's just a really sad thing to happen. I go, celebrate! You got- you sold a broken property to a guy and now another guy's gonna deal with that fucking embers. Congratulations! You got rid of your wife and your house. Yeah!

You nailed it. There you go! You're living. He's gonna be alright. You're the king. I wanna, we'll see more die. Shicks love that science shit. I don't, yeah they love it. They really love it. Well they love, you know, him, like guys who are always like, here's, here, you know like how like a, like a dog is like a nucleus and then a hundred million dogs are like a cell, like like dumb fuck science, you know? Turns are like a cell like yeah dumb fuck science You know turns them on they love hearing all that stuff. I love being condescending They love taking someone who's above them Yeah, like a scientist a nuclear scientist and lowering him to explaining these concepts to a fucking idiot

You know who doesn't deserve to learn it. It won't do anything with the knowledge It's just like entertainment trash to them. They love it. They love the degradation. Am I crazy that I look at Dr. Kevin's situation and I go, I feel like this is like the ideal situation. It's like you're with the lady for like what, like 20 years, you got the kids already,

the kids still like you, and now you get to go, you know, run around and do whatever you want, who fucking cares? I mean, it's just a weird way to look at it. It's, look. Have you tried dating in a while? I guess staying with a woman forever and dying with her in your fucking firehouse could have been cool too, but this seems like it worked out.

You sell the house, you get the money. Ideally they just swap your wife out with another one. Yeah. You know? He can still get another lady. Without any cum eating. Without anyone eating any cum. No cum eating. You just see how long it takes you to notice.

Yeah. OK, do you want to do the show? Let's do the show. Very exciting. Staying sober, staying strong. Big head problem in the universe! Welcome to the Biggest Problem in the Universe, the only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From science posers to friends bringing their new hose overs.

How do you like that one? I came up with it. What's wrong with that? Friends bringing their new hose overs how do you like that one? I came up with that friends bringing their new hose overs? hose overs science poser friends bringing their new hose over overs I'm your host, it's nice to be joining me as always as Vito just waltzes. Hi dick, how you doing?

what a- had quite a week there's been a lot going on. A lot going on. Those of you on Twitter maybe... We'll catch up on the drama. Unnecessary censorship one last week. That was you. Yeah, that was me. Did you see the thing I retweeted at you?

Where a guy... it was a rapper was on a podcast and he accidentally discouraged a gun. Oh yeah, that was funny. And it says, a rapper accidentally shoots himself but they, instead of shot himself, they censored shot? So it looks like he shit himself. And I'm like, what are you doing? It doesn't help. Yeah, the word shot never needs to be censored.

Well, first of all, black violence is like powering the news. What are you all of a sudden pretending it's... Yeah, shooting is empowering, you're right. Yeah. We talk about it all the time. Two teenagers shooting another two teenagers. Like, why are you pretending like that doesn't self-lix? Maybe we should humiliate black teenagers by censoring it, so it'll always be like,

black teenager shits himself. Shits himself. Yo man, they got me on the news and I shit myself! Yo man, this ain't right! I shit myself! This ain't right! I shot myself! Yo man, this ain't right! I shit myself! This ain't right, I shot myself!

Yo, that's it, let's go! Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop! Black man shits mom. Shits mom. I didn't shit my mom! Stop saying I shit my mom! Shits his homies in the pants. I didn't shit my homie in the pants!

No, no, hell no! Oh hell, and then he's like, Azee, oh hell no baby! Oh hell no! Maybe, maybe. Are we getting too racist on this show? Oh hell no! Oh hell no! And then he's like, hey is he? Maybe they're handwork! Oh hell no baby! Oh hell no! Maybe, maybe- Are we getting too racist on this show? Society is the problem, Tick.

We're just noticing, right? You got any water in those fire hydrants? Oh hell no! Is that racist? Did you see the video of the black fire lady explaining why she can take any fire? Primo, primo. I saw some bitch that weighed about 120 pounds soaking wet explaining why it's totally fine that a fire lady can't carry a person.

She's like, what do you guys think? It's just carrying people all day. Like, well, you know, there's like hoses. There's other stuff that- There's a lot of equipment that weighs a lot, yeah. Parking the fire truck through someone's burning house is also bad. So here's my plea to the nation. I ain't going in there. There's a ghost. There's a fire ghost in there. That's bad That's a woman thing. Here's what I want

Okay, is I think more white people need to start fucking up and doing and saying goofy shit I'm like cuz that's the only way to fix this problem Yeah, cuz I mean you guys kind of brought it on yourselves cause you said we want a bunch of black mayors. You're like, okay, but that means they're gonna have to do public speaking and we're gonna talk about it. So when Karen Reed or whatever the fuck goes, and you can find out about how to stop the fuzz at URL.

And you're like, what do you think URL is? No, that's where you put a web address you dumb bitch. Now if you guys had just stopped putting black people in highly visible Speaking positions, we'd have less of it to talk about But that's kind of the backfire of this DEI stuff is what you keep being like, you know There's gotta be a black guy here and a black lady there. You're like, okay, but sometimes they're gonna say shit Well, the idea it sort of makes sense. They're like, well, we need a black mayor. There's plenty of qualified candidates.

Okay, let everyone vote. Oh shit, they voted for the idiot. Well. Well. Just, yeah, we, look. They didn't vote for Larry Elder. No. It's like, what's the guy in New York

who's like fucking up and taking bribes and shit? I don't know. Eric, Eric. Eric Andre. Eric Andre, Mayor of New York. I'm just saying, look, we gave you guys what you wanted. You wanted black people in highly visible seats of power. You gave them what they wanted.

I did. Did you vote for Bass? I don't think I voted for, I don't remember when that vote was. Was that as part of this vote? When does the mayor get elected? That was part of the last one, I think. The presidential one?

It was part of 2022, I think. Oh, OK. The midterms, probably. Yeah. I don't think I voted in the midterms. I didn't vote in the midterms. OK. Because I would have remembered that.

OK. So you did vote for that? The only time I voted was for Trump, as we all know. I didn't vote in the midterms. Okay. Yeah, because I would have rumored that. Okay. So you did vote for that? The only time I voted was for Trump, as we all know. My love, I love it. The meme of Einstein got second. Yeah, Einstein sucks. So you took the top two. The bro getting a new hoe, the jealous incels were out, crabs in a bucket got you 41 and

leaving the oven on, is a big big problem Was it negative is a negative now 32 you got no negative problems. That's good It should be if you have two negative problems, then you really fucking you're done. Yeah, then you have to leave the show Popsculpting an extra 1% of the show trademark and you'll eventually somebody else 100% Yeah Like that shot game where you're bouncing 49% We should actually I would codify that, that's really funny We could split the money like that

The money could split me into two negative votes Fuck That would have gamified it That's pretty good Pop sculpture That unnecessary censoring is such a problem My friends kids said unalived in front of us And I jokingly turned to him and said I can't I can't believe you let her run around using double plus on good language Now instead of saying bad she says double plus on good

People are pointing out in the chat that uh what do you call it everyone will now negative my problems until I'm off the show that uh, what do you call it, everyone will now negative my problems until I'm off the show. Oh, it's Mayor Adams, okay. Mayor Adams. Vault, Dick, why did you block me on Twitter? I thought you were my dad. Once again, everybody, you gotta put your handle on these Twitter unblocked requests. You can get unblocked, you just gotta tell me. You typed all the wrong words here. And don't ask me to have Dick unblock you. That's your business. me to have Dick unblock you. That's your business.

Jordan Hessler says, the language you use to discuss things has really screwed up people's minds. Yeah, I agree. Too many people raised in the last 30 years think of psychology like it's a separate reality. They don't seem to understand that it's metaphors to describe tricks the mind plays on itself.

They use it to make excuses for all the mentally ill people making terrible choices, or they describe addiction like it's not just a prolonged bad habit that you can genuinely quit at any time, as George W. Bush did. Yeah, there you go. He felt that was the first chapter in his memoir. You're talking about the alcoholism, of course.

They're like biblical literalists, but their religion is pseudoscience. Hear that? Anybody out there listening? You can quit at any time. Ah! It's so easy. Hunter McCoy, if you turn your oven on,

also turn and leave the oven light on, then you'll know at a glance if the oven is on or off. Hey, thanks, shithead. So I should turn my fucking oven light on and off. So let's, shithead. So I should turn the oven light on? Turn my fucking light on and off. Let's introduce a new set of controls into it. Why don't I have like... Because I can't do the existing one. Why don't I get a lockout tagout system?

And then I can, you know, if my lock is blinking I'll... Yeah, obviously, if you forget one thing... I'll turn the cup upside down. When I turn it on, I'll turn it over. When it's on the other side. I'll set a fire before I turn the oven on. When the fire gets too big. I'll give myself OCD. Lyle Dillon says, ovens have two timers, timer and cook time.

The oven turns off when cook time completes. I don't have an oven. I don't think my oven has a timer. I didn't know that. You have a newer oven than me. I have an old gas oven. I have a new fancy gas oven. I have one of these Biden burners they want to take away from me. I

Taught my girlfriend had a light the burner without a pilot She's like I'm not doing it until you get home. I don't want to explode. I'm like, okay I'm like, okay you hold the the lighter now bring it close. You mean they're just like on the stovetop. Yes You mean just putting a lighter up to the gas? Yes, we do. And she thought it would explode. All right. She's like, well, I didn't know.

I'm surprised that she's never run into that situation. Me, too. That's bizarre. His name was crazy. The only Christians I know are black. They love that shit. OK. I'm pretty sure that's not true. They're also Korean. Legacy 1971. China actually had a famously had a guy who said

he was Jesus's brother and started a Christian civil war where millions and millions of people died. The Christian side lost. Is that true? Is that supposed to be a racist joke? I don't know, but that is a good problem that, uh, cults are great. We should have way more of them. Yeah, but they get to see the problem is they get real sexy right away. Yeah, but that's every religion gets that way. They're just better at hiding it because they've had more time to figure out how to do that. You need one guy who doesn't do any raping.

Like when the FBI showed up to David Koresh's house and they're like, we have to shut down your cult. And he's like, why? It's like, because you're molesting little boys. And he goes, yeah, it's a religion. What are we doing here? Come on. That's how you know. What do you do?

867 says, arguing with people on Twitter isn't very Max Cool of you. I think it's very Max Cool. Who am I arguing with on Twitter? Oh, there's one guy Not arguing though trying to set things straight you would lube up someone's ass and fuck them. Yes on Twitter this knife school I said, oh, yeah. Okay. I'm still fighting with the puppet guy for some reason. Yeah, although he blocked me. So that means I win He's officially he fell out. He couldn't handle the fire He couldn't handle the fire.

Peter Polatitska, Bernie is a dead end. I lost all respect for Dick. Ron Paul, not a communist and makes way four cents. Van Bernie? This guy lost all respect for you, Dick. I would like someone to quantify what's a quantum of respect. And how am I supposed to met? Because it seems to be either all or half. You said some nice things about Bernie on the previous episode.

Because, well, Bernie was saying the right shit. He was saying what? He was talking about the H1Bs. Yeah, and then he decided to weigh in on climate change. He's like, OK, buddy. I mean, he's going to do that. How about we burn your fucking cabin down? You don't even live here.

Hey, hey, hey, that cabin there. Leave that nice cabin alone. The audacity that guys live in that guys live in my dream Nice little cabin in Vermont our houses are burning down and Bernie Sanders goes up It's goddamn global warming out in Vermont or wherever he is the gayest part of Vermont Vermont's very gay. Vermont is very gay. Bro. Yeah, what are you? Vermont's very gay. That's goddamn bubble warming. Vermont is very gay. Bro.

Yeah. What are you? That climate change will getcha. You want to step back and go fuck yourself? You want to go fuck yourself? That climate change sucks about your house. Was now the time, Bernie? I mean, the real problem was that, you know, the mayor probably should have told someone,

hey, can you guys just like walk through the forest and get rid of all the dead branches and shit? Let's take the gay pride parade through the forest. Instead of going to Ghana and being like, I wonder what's going on. Why the fuck was she in Ghana? Because why does the mayor of LA need to go to Ghana? I know it's really it's our sister city Ghana It's definitely not our sister city sister. Maybe it is I don't fucking It's black right it is. We have Ghana is black. Where is your is it, for sure. Is it in South Africa, or is it in Africa? I believe it's in Africa.

OK. Mommy Africa. Yeah. She was recharging her blackness. Ugh. Well, I mean, because- I gotta run for re-election. I- I-

I need as most black as I can possibly be! Aaaaaaah! She's a very, uh- I'm over three-fifths charge! Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaah! Her hair is, like like crinkling up. Ah!

Well, she is one of those very light-skinned black ladies. Yeah. So she almost has to go to Ghana to get a little, yeah, a little extra something. I think we're OK to be a little bit, a little bit, you know. Right. Because our city is burning down. Yeah.

Well, because of a black lady. I mean, she's partially. It seems like she might be responsible, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So look. I think it's OK. It's not that we're racist, obviously.

There's a lot of brave black firefighters out there who are getting the job done. Yeah, I saw somebody go, you know, you guys are just go on and on in DEI. I'm like, OK, let's, let's, OK, you're right. It's women. Yeah, that's way go, you know, you guys are just go on and on and DEI. I'm like, OK, let's let's OK. You're right. It's women. Yeah, that's way better. It is women. Yeah.

Yeah, we guys are. They have to say DEI because they can't just say women because they're married to women, but it's women. It is women of all stripes. You guys fuck up. It just it is really bizarre that you're like, I don't know. Like, we're living in a time where the amount of incompetence is like we have access to all this information.

Yeah. And it seems like the problem is nobody just goes, hey, I think I'm the one who has to like do something with this information. And the person who's supposed to do that is the mayor. I think I got to fill up this reservoir. Yeah. I think the mayor needs to go like be reading the news,

like you know, all the previous wildfires, and go, huh, I really wish it was somebody's job to prevent these in the future and the mayor supposed to go oh wait I could do that and I'm gonna take steps instead it's always like passing the bucket like well you know I didn't get a recommendation from the water facility or whatever you're the mayor just say I'm worried about fire can we do something about fire you clean up the clean up all the sticks yeah is there enough water for the fire? Can we get more water?

And it's like, no, nobody does anything. It's like everybody's- It's too complicated. It's too complicated. It is like the layers of needless bureaucracy, not just being like, so now you're Maga for real. Well, I want to make America great again, absolutely. Now you believe in Doge fully.

I do believe in Doge, OKully. I do believe in Doge, OK? I think everybody believes in Doge. But yeah, there just needs to be like, why can't they just sit down and be like, problems. Number one, fire. That seems pretty obvious. Yeah, we all know that list. Well, the earthquake's pretty bad.

OK, can we stop the earthquake? The problem is they had that. We had the list of problems. It's like crime, fire, earthquakes. And tampons in the men's room. Not enough tampons, not enough black people in the movie, not enough trans stuff. The trans people can't play fucking mini golf

without getting yelled at. Women regretting having sex with guys 40 years ago. Okay, let's get to the front of the line with these. Well, this has always been my thing for Democrats, is I go, guys, I know that you care about fucking everything, but just stop. Yeah. And you can care about all that stuff secretly,

but stop putting it on the list. So they can't, well, are they caring about it if they're not talking about it? I don't know, it's the only thing they care about. That's the point. They're like, oh, the Mexicans, we gotta help the Mexicans, we gotta help them get over the border and make sure they can all have a taco truck, we gotta make sure they can run their illegal hot dog cart without getting yelled at, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, oh, the Mexicans, we got to help the Mexicans. We got to help them get over the border and make sure they can all have a taco truck. We got to make sure they can run their illegal hot dog cart

without getting yelled at. Yeah, but they really just. Why don't you worry about the fire? They hate white people, though. Let's be honest. They do. They hate white people. That's problem number one and all these other problems

are a spin off of that. Look, I'm becoming radicalized. I know this. OK, it's not like I like a little. Like, I get it. Because your toy's almost burned up. Because my toy's almost. I was thinking, you know, when the fire starts, I go, radicalized, I know this, okay? It's not like a little, like I get it. Because your toy's almost burned up. Because my toy's almost, I was thinking, you know, when the fire starts, I go,

all right, which plastic bins full of video game trash are going in the car first? All right? What would get left behind? Can you imagine you come back and it's just a big mass of plastic that your toy sees to be? I would feel pretty stupid. I did see other guys though, I saw other guys be be like packed up my Sega Saturn collection in case shit hits

the fan I'm like okay this guy knows what's up yeah this guy's on my team alright that's that's my comments fantastic well I don't have a voted up for you but I do have another segment I like to call dick pock racy oh shit this is where I don't know if we have a stinger for that. I don't think so. We need to make another one. Okay. Well Dick Pocracy is of course where Dick is a fucking hypocrite who just says shit because he thinks it's funny while not having any actual consistent standards of any sort. Okay. Dick, can you go to reddit.com? Oh, Christ. I blocked Reddit on my firewall. Oh, did you?

No. Now go to the biggest problem Reddit. A fan put this together. Now, you may remember on the last episode that you were giving me shit about the t-shirts on the website. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you do remember this? No, no, I'm saying yes. Okay, so this guy has edited this together.

It's kind of not the most edited together thing, but whatever. At least it will remind people. Yeah, well, I think you'll get the point after about two seconds. All right. So don't forget, Killdozer. That industry is get your biggest problem merchandise. Can you get a Trux Me shirt yet? Or is that still sold out?

You can still get a Trux Me shirt. Is it sold out? No, it's not sold out. If I go there right now, it's not going to be sold out? I mean, it might not be in black or whatever it was. This is from the last episode. Yeah. Yeah. Black, though.

It's not, it's sold out. It's available in Black Heather. Black Heather is black! No, it's not. How's that any different? It's not the same thing. Put it in large. Look!

Black, large. Unavailable. So you were upset that regular black is available. Yeah, that makes no sense. Now this is from a previous episode. Oh boy, this is already a classic Dick vs. Dick. Shut up. Is it gonna be about shirt colors?

So you were upset, you were upset last episode that the Truxme shirt is only available in Heather Black. Yeah, it looks, it's stupid. And you think it should be in solid black, correct? Solid black, yes. Okay, so this is from a previous episode. Let's listen to what you had to say about the shirts. Nah, cause that's just black. The Truxme is Heather Black. Oh, okay. It has to be Heather Black. Okay. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Regular black is gonna look like shit, it has to be Heather Black. Because I knew it was sold out, you idiot! I'm trying to sell people's shirts! I'm trying to move merchandise!

So why did- I'm giving you a little bit of time so they don't flood you. So why did- shut the fuck up! I went into the site and I changed it to Heather Black for you, and that's the reason why it's not available in regular black anymore. But you can still pick regular black and it says sold out. Yeah, I forgot to remove that as an option. Just put it as regular black. Obviously Heather Black looks like shit.

Why did you tell me to make it Heather Black? It doesn't look like shit. Because it was already fucked up because you said before the show that black is sold out. I'm like, okay, oh boy, okay. I know it looks like shit, but I'm gonna sell it to these.

Shut up, you're just making this up. I'm gonna fucking sell it to these people. You're fucking lying. It obviously looks bad. Your brain broke. You thought that you said that black was what it should be when you said it should be Heather Black, which is what I put it at. This retarded bit of whether Heather Black looks good or not.

The shirt is available as Heather Black. Why is it sold out? Why has it been sold out for a year and a half? Because I think they ran out of black so then I changed it to Heather black But then it still says black you can buy on the website and it still says sold out Because I think I went in and I said don't refresh the black ones because we're selling gonna sell it as Heather black Why would you do that? What would be the point of it? Then why does it still let you pick and go?

Wah sold out here's a big dick in your face. It's a shitty little Shopify store. I run for fun It's not a professional fucking merch endeavor. There we go. There we go. You're right. There we go. There you go. You really need a stinger for this bit.

I should. It's so, I mean it's important shit. The color of the shirt. Even though you told me to put it as Heather Black, in reality that was you trying to buy time for me to put it in regular Black. In reality, that was you trying to buy time for me to put it in regular black. See, you know. Something you never communicated to me. You know.

Something you're remembering now. You're remembering now that that's what I was doing. No, because it's all you can. You're remembering. If you came to me after the show and you said, hey, listen, on the show, I'm going to say Heather Black's OK. But, bro, it's got to be regular black. Is this a Keemstar podcast?

We need to prescript every single thing that goes into everything? I did what you told me! You should know to put the shirt on! You said to make them Heather Black, so I added Heather Black! Just put the fucking black up! Okay, I'll do it. Okay? Fine. Whatever. It should have been up black in the beginning! Who wants a black shirt?

Get the Ricky shirt. It's a beautiful green the Ricky's a good shirt We're gonna have a head or forest green. I gotta make some more shirts for the store Anyway, you know those are dot industries where you can currently get the trucks me shirt in Heather black Which dick said it looks like shit, but that was a trick Just trying to sell was a trick on the audience To convince you to buy an inferior shirt as we bought time to put up regular black shirts Which dick never came to me and said hey make sure to get the regular black shirt. You can't remember? I guess it took three weeks to get you to get a check over here. You're such an idiot. So retarded. Okay

Is it is that it? I was trying to fool the audience into buying an inferior shirt. Is that your great bit? Dick vs. Dick. I didn't know I didn't know you were running a merchandise scam on the audience. Yeah I am. There you go that's Dickpocracy for you. Dickpocracy. There you go someone make that into a stinger. You're the winner, do whatever you want. You liar and charlatan. Arson deniers. Do you know any of these people? Do you know any of these people? Sorry, are cities on fire? Yeah. Obviously, new fires are starting up because homeless people are running around with blow torches.

I don't know if blow torches is the... Yeah, they got orange canisters. They're going around with orange canisters they got at Home Depot or they stole from Home Depot. Sure. Just lighting fires left and right. You know, and the reaction I see of people is, why would anyone do that? Because they got nothing else to do.

What do you mean? Because homeless people are total pieces of shit. They didn't like, unluck their way into having literally nobody that would take them in. They're just antisosocial cocksuckers. See, this is why this show has devolved, because there was a period of time where I would have been the good liberal and tried to like push back slightly and said, well, you know, some of these people are just down on their luck. Maybe a couple. But I've just lost all belief in humanity whatsoever.

There's nothing to believe in. Yeah, there really is no show left now because I just go, yeah, they're scum. I've just lost all belief in humanity whatsoever. There's nothing to believe in. There really is no show left now because I just go, yeah, they're scum. Any attempt to help them. Anytime I see, I think it was like Arnold Schwarzenegger's like, and look, for Christmas I've built 100 tiny homes. Yeah, fuck you.

You just built a bunch of little rape rooms. You just built little fentanyl shacks that will be filled with rape and sex until they strip them of all their fucking metal. They're not gonna be happy until we get a homeless mayor. That's what it's gonna be. We need a homeless mayor who really understands the city. He's stripping the copper pipes out of the governor's mansion. Yeah, he won't even be doing-

Yeah, I don't know! I don't know! Ah! Ah! Ah! High, ah, ah, ah. High on fentanyl, whatever. We gotta find another liberal. I don't know, who's left? You know they're bad. Who, the homeless? The homeless.

It's not the, look, all right, here, I'll do this. I'll at least take the liberal line to say they have mental illness. Yeah. They are addicted to drugs. You know, they have a variety of ailments. It's not that they're fundamentally evil. Evil is not the problem.

Possession of the devil. Yeah, they're all devil possessed. They are. They're bad guys. I think they've suffered. They're running around starting fire. Well, the liberal position is what people are taking, not just online, but in real life too.

Some woman told me, well, what do you mean? Why would anyone light fire? Why would anyone do that? Like why do they do anything? Why they live on the street? What do you mean? Why do they poop in their pants? Why do they live? Why do they pick the biggest intersections? So why they going around screaming at everyone because they're pieces of shit. Why would you live next to a freeway when you could like probably get like somewhere else? Yeah, like somewhere like a little more quiet at least. Why don't they have any friends. Yeah, somewhere a little more quiet, at least. Why don't they have any friends? Yeah. Because they're assholes.

Well, they have friends. No, they don't have any friends. Just people they haven't raped yet. Yeah. I know that the homeless community is suffering, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you bring up a good point that this whole thing

is exposed that, yeah, you could just weaponize the homeless and probably destroy any, if any terrorists are out there. Oh yeah, I saw you saying that. Well, I really am thinking that. I'm not saying it as like a joke. I'm going, wow, terrorism is retarded. Like, you can literally- Let's get all these planes and we'll get Abu Punjabi and we'll take flight classes and

we'll get- We got Sneak on there. We got Masad is gonna get in there. Whatever. You could have just bought lighter. Like, if you bought 100 lighters. Right now, if me and you bought 100 lighters and just went on the streets of LA and went to every homeless person and went, you need a lighter? Here you go.

Here, it's one of those cool blowtorch lighters. Go nuts. Yeah, have fun. See what happens. Here, here, here, here, here. I think we could burn the whole city down by just giving lighters away. 1,000 lighters to 1,000 homeless people will eventually set the world on fire. That's the I always say

everybody always goes like they come out to LA my friends come out from a Massachusetts ago. Oh, why do you got so many homeless? I'm like you come from an area where those people just freeze to death on the street You'll just walk around there's the down this guy, you know, yeah if we could have a maybe a That's what I hate was one my new and all you new Englanders all you new Englanders All my friends are always like oh, well you got all those homeless I'm like well I can't summon the fucking winds of the winter witch to banish them to get rid of her okay

Like you guys have with them. Yeah, exactly you guys have an automatic homeless removal system So we got to put spikes on the benches to get them to go anywhere. All this climate change. Man, it's like ten homeless guys with lighters. What are you talking about? Climate change? What the fuck are you talking about, bro? Yeah.

It is... I... They go around... We woke up today. Man starting fires. Man reporting to starting fires. I saw that. Then I gotta go on and read fucking Deadmau5 or whatever, talking about climate fires. I saw that. Then I go I gotta go on and read fucking dead mouse or whatever talk about climate change. I saw actually we

need more. I mean I saw a video before I came over and she's like a homeless guy for no reason just like on the hillside like lighting shit on fire I don't know maybe it is demons. Yeah it's demons. Yeah maybe like the demons have just decided to destroy LA and they're possessing the homeless people. The Vatican's got to send some priests over to kill them Honestly, I mean whatever Look at this fucking demon. I'm not a demon. I'm homeless. I Think there is something to that. I think if you know, yeah, they're demons. They're cracked out on vent

I just really I and outs I think correct. No, I'm worried about yeah I mean luckily terrorists are kind of dumb, but like now they're looking at this and they're going, so I can just go like set a hill on fire and burn half the city? I just got to bring in some Indians into their organizations, some H1B terrorists, and they could figure out, you know, hire the Azure H1B Indians from Microsoft and plan out a terrorism attack. I just see all the Al Qaeda in the caves going well That will never work. He goes no you don't understand. They have no black mayor who does not know how fire works at all

She had Ghana. She does not understand she went to Ghana Well, you can just do anything you want And I got some stats. Oh my god Mohammed praise be let's light some fire. And 20 we had a big arson problem here like two years ago Yeah, people got one guy was going around. Well, that's the weird thing about arson. It takes one guy. Mm-hmm. Trump should have said, hey, if there's any arsonists, you could kill them all.

Pardon you. He could have said that. He could have said that. In 2023, there were 14,000 homeless fires in LA. Yeah. That's 14,000 homeless fires in LA. Yeah. That's 14,000 in 2023. And I'm still encountering idiots who are going, what? It's global warming.

No, it's crack addicts with blow torches. I imagine those that must be coming from the fire department call centers, right? They probably get a call every two minutes like, there's a fire. And they go, yeah, we know. There's homeless. No, but a homeless guy lit it.

No shit. They light their own shit on fire for fun. Do you want to know what street it's on? It's on every street. It's on every street. You don't need to even give us an address. What's 13,000 divided by 3, 365? How many fires of that is in a day? Please don't make me do this.

Three, like four fires a day? Four fires a day, sure. Four fires a day. Yeah. The homeless are doing. It's actually- They love it. And they don't even have an excuse for it.

That's not as many as I thought. But they don't have an excuse for it. Again, if it was in Massachusetts- Oh, like why'd you do that? It's not meth labs, it's just homeless. When in Massachusetts they set a fire, I go, right're cold here. It's like fun, but they are cold They're cold from the fentanyl. Oh, yeah Arson accounts for one third of homeless fires. Well, what do you mean one? Yeah, obviously home arsonic

Yeah, well like burning it for fun. Mm-hmm Yeah, obviously. Arson? Yeah. Well, like, burning it for fun? Mm-hmm. Well, they're burning, like, you know, the newspaper boxes and the trash cans and shit. Arrests for homeless-related arson fires

are rare, with only 130. 130 and 174 arrests made in the two years. They only arrested 150 a year of these guys? Bro. Well, you can't. What are you going to do? Kill them. Or kill them or kill minecraft

uh what the fuck okay whose fault is that then you put them in the jail and they just set the jail on fire good throwing their mail hey here's a bunch of hay we're having hey day this today at the jail we should have different prisons for different types of like crimes like the like the arson prison would be kind of funny

It's not they all burn. Yeah Well, we just like put them in a situation like toilet paper. Yeah, they're surrounded by all this probable shit You're like, well, I hope you know when he lights a fire fires related to homeless have caused a 185 million in damage since 2017 So you don't think you can add a trillion a lot like some of these people are claiming Bro people just people outside of LA talking about LA. There's a lot of like I hate the yeah What are you talking about? Look just homeless crack the Twitter conspiracy theory guys

I get that you're having fun, but don't be so retarded where they're like isn't it curious that the houses are burning down But the trees next to the houses aren't? I'm like, no, it's not curious. I saw that. It's literally completely full of like, do you know what a plan? Have you ever tried to light a leaf on fire? It's very hard. It's full of water. Yeah. Um, in 2020, seven homeless people died in a fire. It's so great about it. With three deaths. Oh wow. Seven homes. Only seven homeless died. In fires?

And they're starting 14,000 of them. Well, they burned down 10,000 houses, so. Can't James Woods just go, you know, can he get a pass for like a day? There's many homeless. We have James Woods Day. He can go around taking out the homeless. No questions asked.

He can get it done. He could get it done, I think. I will say that, you know, all these celebrities are crying about their houses getting burned down, but I haven't heard any of them say like, you know, we probably gotta do something about all these homeless setting all these fucking fires. South, 31 fires in a single, just a bunch of stupid. It's like, it can't, arson just can't make it

through the normies brain. Like furries, like how people were like so fascinated by them, it's like yeah, it's gay guys that like dress up as squirrels and shit, fuck. They wanna dress up like bugs, Bonnie and get fucked. What's wrong with that? Cause of like Disney movies. It's not that funny though.

It's like a protective layer of charisma. Like that's literal, you know? The alcohol for you is like a furry suit. It's not that funny. But they're like, oh, I'm so fascinated by it. There's like, Arson's like that. They're like, oh, I can't even fucking fathom somebody just lighting shit on fire.

Yeah. It's the I can't fathom that is the worst. Okay. You know. Especially with all that stuff. That'll make me the weird one. Where people have to go, you know why they say that though? Because they're lying.

Because they're going, of course I understand that it would be fun to light fires if I was homeless. I had nothing else to do. No, I don't think they are. I really don't think they are. You're sitting around under an overpass all day long staring at the exact same fucking trash can.

Obviously. And you go, I've got gotta really light that thing up. The only thing I can do. You don't have TV. So like, you know, but fire's kind of like TV. It's like, ah, trash cans doing stuff. Yeah. What if I could sit that whole hill on fire?

What if I could sit that whole house on fire? That would be something to watch. So the solution is. When you go camping, you're like, oh, this campfire is so fun. It's so hypnotic to look at. I would like to know if, when Obama started giving cell phones to homeless people, did the number of fires go down? Because then they got...

Oh, you think they were busy? Yeah, you know, what if we just give them all Game Boys, they got something to do? And then they ran out of tr- The Veto Game Boy program. Hey, we could get a bunch of old Gameboys like a copy of Pokemon Tetris They could be bootlegs who cares and we find a homeless guy was lighting fires ago. Hey, yeah, here you go Here's a couple extra double a batteries have some fun. It's got a new batteries are getting thrown on the freeway Yeah, I know they're getting whipped in another homeless guys

They can seal this but that Gameboys getting pond for fentanyl. The rapes dropped off a cliff. The rapes. Well that's the real moral. Is homeless guys, I know the fire is fun. Get back to the rape. Better way to spend your time. Yeah. Rape each other. Let's go down to the homeless communities. We can hand out, I don't know, sex toys. Dresses. Yeah dresses.

Why don't you put a dress on. Pretty dresses. Go fuck each other. We can get those fake boobs that the ladies were wearing in those fucking TikTok videos. Tyrone's going to put on. Pretty dresses. Go fuck each other. We can get those fake boobs that the ladies were wearing in those fucking TikTok videos. You go, look Tyrone's gonna put on the triple Z breasts. Yeah. Everybody gets to feel up Tyrone and nobody's gotta light any fires.

We're gonna put tits on this lamp post. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. You know what? Honestly, Arnold's building those little like fucking homeless encampment homes. Just set up a fucking sex doll brothel for the homeless. They don't want homes. It would keep them away, yeah.

They're homeless because they like living on the street and doing, they're pieces of shit. What do you not get about that? We got to give them all autoblows, and then they'll just leave us alone. I think if you give every homeless guy an autoblow, well, unfortunately, that's a little, it's going to be harder to legislate. But I think getting them give every homeless guy an auto blow, well unfortunately that's a little, it's gonna be harder to legislate.

But I think getting them, you know, you know what, we don't do enough to get the homeless, like free pornography at the least. We're living in LA, pornography's being made like crazy, why are we not handing out fucking, you know, DVD players? No, no, no, I don't want to reward these guys. It's not a reward, it's a distraction. We just gotta dig a giant hole. And fill it with pornography and Fentanyl. Fill it with homeless. And homeless.

Free money. Well, here's where I'm gonna say, your boy Trump, as I always bring up, said he was making camps for these people and then he hasn't said anything else about it, so... They have to think of a name that's not Death Camp. Yeah. They have to think of a name that doesn't sound too much, like concentration camp. Trumpschwitz. Trumpschwitz. Yeah.

I like the Schwitz. Ha ha ha ha. Maga will set you free. You like the Schwitz. I like the Schwitz part. I don't know about Al. We'll see. We'll figure something out.

That's my problem. Great problem, Dick. Arson deniers. Yeah. Oh, we got a lot of people in the chat who are asking about a certain topic, so maybe I'll just get into my next problem, which is

people not changing. It's a big problem. It's a big problem. So, you know, we all in life have people who we care about, who we want to do well and succeed and sometimes they get in their own way. Now obviously on this show, I know people have wanted me to lose weight. Maybe I've lost my way, but I want to say I'm trying my best.

But the fundamental problem is, you know, people, unlike me, who has very strong will, and I obviously am the exception of the rule, some people don't change. It's like they're in a situation where everybody wants to get behind them and wants the best for them. Well, not everybody. Well, not everybody. People around them want the best for them. And it's like, they do take steps to change.

It's like you can see that they're putting in a little bit of effort. They're not homeless. They're not homeless. That's important. Maybe they move, a little change of location, get a better lease on life. I mean, I don't know if that's exactly worked out, but OK.

And then, you know, you want people who have a substance addiction to slowly wean themselves off. Like food? You don't got to go cold turkey. You can still have a drink now and again, sure. No. You cannot. No.

Look, I think for some people, you have to compromise a little bit, maybe. No. No one gets a little bit of meth. Yeah. Well, look, I'll just say- That's the problem. I'm not someone, again, I've dealt with food addiction my whole life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never had a true chemical dependency though, you know? I know, and a lot of chemical dependence. Well, have you ever been like an addict? Have you felt like you're a man who obviously imbibes of various substances? Have you ever felt like you need to wean yourself off of something?

For 20 years. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? Alcohol? Yeah. You just don't do it. The problem is that, you know, you see people who have a problem

and the solution is simple, right? You know and you go I just really want you to change and they'll tell you they'll say like oh I am gonna change and you get all like excited. You're like, this is a whole new chapter Yeah, like maybe a guy goes from being like a drunk loudmouth like a big, you know Kind of a fat guy loses a bunch of weight and you're like wow, look at that. He lost a bunch of weight. That's crazy. Right. Surely quitting the drugs will come along with that as well. And then for some reason it doesn't go exactly according to plan. Right. So, you know, this, well this week, this has happened to a friend of mine, a guy named... You're going to have lunch together. I was gonna...

Well, okay. So I get a text, I get a Twitter message yesterday from Ethan Ralph. He DMs me on Twitter, great place to talk, and of course I'm very friendly with Ethan Ralph. And he's all excited he's in LA, of course, to see his kid. There's a complicated situation there, custody thing, but LA of course to see his kid. There's a complicated situation there, custody thing, but he's here to see his kid, which is good, good by him. And again, that's a good, positive thing.

He's a good dad. And he goes, we should get lunch. And I say, well, you know, getting lunch might be a little hard. I gotta do the podcast tomorrow. I've already eaten. Yeah. Well, there's never a point where I can't say that.

What time is it? Ah, I already ate lunch. I already ate lunch. Hey, you want to do second lunch? You want to do second lunch? I already ate lunch tomorrow. So I said to Ralph, I said, you know, maybe tomorrow we could get dinner or something. And he said, OK, cool.

Yeah, all right. We'll do it. Maybe we'll get dinner. That'd be great. And then today I wake up to like some tweets that are like, Vito is a pedophile snake. A pedophile. Kiwi Farms was right.

And I'm gonna- I talked to Null. I'm gonna bury, yeah, I talked to Null and I'm gonna bury- No, I talked to Null. Oh, you talked to Null, yeah. I said, what did you say? You said, I said no.

And then Ralph said he's going to destroy me or something. He's going to come on your property. Do you want to bring up? Oh, no. I just want to look. These were friendly tweets, I think. I mean, not so friendly necessarily, but not more confusing than anything.

Yeah. OK. Oops. Edo comedy. Maybe go to his account. not like you know more confusing than anything yeah okay oops Edo comedy maybe go to his account Ethan what's here use your mouse yeah okay I'll get there go and you know it's see so Ethan Ralph has been tweeting today let me see where this kind of started. Okay, so he said I'm cool. He's been saying a lot of things. Okay. Maybe I'll die of a drug overdose.

Well, we don't want that Ralph. Okay. I guess there was supposed to be an intervention that fell through. Is that something that happened? Yeah. Okay. So the intervention didn't happen. That's a different story.

And I was not a part of the intervention I don't really know why I'm the bad guy here But Ethan Ralph is it veto the Pito is held in higher esteem than me. You can't make this up stars of the past and I think he's referring to him as He's saying stars of the past fucked women did drugs coke DUI. So he's saying, you know, I'm a rock star. Oh, he's a star. This is Ralph saying, I don't understand why I'm being treated badly

because I'm just fucking women and I haven't even done horrible things. Whereas Vito has fucked children. And he says- That's not true. Plenty of stars have fucked children. Absolutely, yeah. That's not accurate. That's a bad comparison.

That's not right. So I think what he's saying is he's saying, Dick, how can you hold court with Vito as a cohost and abandon me, Ethan Ralph? All I've done is drugs, unlike Vito who has fucked children. And I said to him, Ralph, you asked me to get lunch yesterday. I don't know how this turned around so quickly. He was going to pedo bust you. Well, that's what he said.

He said, you literally asked me to lunch. I wanted to study how pesos lure their victims. Now, I think he meant pitos. Again, he lives in Mexico, so he might be typing pesos a lot into his phone. And it's now a common thing for him. He says, I'm not quitting. I'm going on the war path Against you? I don't know. He says you're gonna burn this fucker down

Don't, don't you though. And Vito you've never been funny than me except as a running joke about pitos Oh low tier and dick picked you just to make fun of you Well, I don't understand because you said he picked me over you But now you're saying you picked me just to make fun of you. Well, I don't understand, because you said he picked me over you, but now you're saying he picked me just to make fun of you, which that's kind of a contradiction. That's a very complicated man. That would mean, yeah, if he picked me just to make fun of me, you have nothing to be jealous about

because I'm the loser in that situation. There's a lot going on. And then he said, Rikata, you allegedly dosed your child with coke. Why let Imholhol rail your wife? There's a lot, Ethan seems to be burning some bridges. Now we had been following the Ethan Ralph sobriety tour and I think it was going wonderfully. It was going well. For those who were not paying very close attention.

Yeah, it was going well. You're such a pussy says no wonder Sick hired you. You make him look better. Shall we mention the LSD? I have no idea what he's talking about. Little, little, uh, little sick dick. Little son dick. Little sucking dicks. I'm telling you, I love my son, but I came out here for a vento. Play with me.

2022 LSD galore, and you shit on me in favor of Veto. Wait, what? Yeah, I. Is this is a running theme, the Vito thing? Yeah, he seems to believe that you have scorned him in favor of me, which is a straight- We have a podcast that we do. I don't think that me and you doing a podcast

means that you guys can't also- Look, look, look. I'm doing real work. Right. Like I'm in the middle of the day doing real work. Sure. Actual, you know, face to face, Zoom shit. Talking to my friend about his sister

get moving into a new place because their house burned down. And then I'm getting, It's a bad time for you in California. Text about, so when are we doing it? So when are we doing it? And I'm like, you know what? What am I imagining? Is this just going to be another shit show?

Am I picturing? What am I going to do? Is Rob going to try to kill himself on this show? Why am I having these thoughts? Why am I thinking about this at all? Didn't he come over, what was it? Was it this summer or last summer? And he was kind of, he seemed like he was like kind of wavering on the, you know.

The precipice of death? The veil of death, yeah. Seems like his addiction struggles, for some reason when he comes to California, seemed to really weigh heavily on him. Maybe it's the flight takes a lot out of him. Maybe it's just me. Maybe it's you.

People can't be around me. I don't know. I've learned that. People get around me and they start short. Well you did ruin, you turned Boblax trans somehow with your cocaine. Yeah. It's because I am the demon. According to the fucking internet.

Boblax was alone with you for five minutes and he said, I'm gay now. And you're like, all right, Bo Blacks. Well, that happens. Good to know. Not the first time I've heard that. So I really wanted to do, I really wanted to do, I really, really would love to do Milo Ralph.

Intervention. Content. Me, Milo Ralph. Oh, like a podcast type thing or something? Both of them both of them. Unbelieveable. Ralph's unbelievable. I'm not gonna lie, that would be an incredible show. You guys are like the original internet rabble rousers of that era. And a lot of other guys have tried to take your crowns and they've all just fucked it up. Yeah.

That would be great. Where is Milo these days? He's in LA. Is he in LA? Yeah, he's over by Silver Lake Dog Park. Oh my god. He lives in some wonderful estate. And I wanted to give everyone the content of Milo and Ralph. You, Milo and Ralph would have been a great show.

I can't handle the... It's... I mean you've all seen it. But don't people change dick isn't that people can change surely it seems like they can't that seems to be the problem yeah there's always like these moments where you're like I think Ralph's on an upswing like the Ralph of male is back he's finally defeated his demons. No, no, I don't think so. And he comes to LA and he's incomprehensible and he goes, I'm fucking pissed, I'm fucking pissed, I'm fucking pissed. I'm like, we were gonna get lunch, man.

I was gonna, we were gonna get some pretzels. I wanted to go to the German place. You gotta put the phone down. He's gotta put the phone down is what you're saying. You gotta put the phone down. Well, here's, here's, it's weird, you know what? Is that the mood I'm getting from Ralph right now, and he's gonna hate-

You can't fix everything, fix one thing. He's gonna hate this comparison. I went, oh, he's doing a boogie 2988. Why? Because I had the same kind of situation with boogie, where he went, you know, I got no friends, and nobody cares about me. So I'm just gonna burn it all down.

And none of this matters. And I kind of responded to him the same way I did when Boogie pulled that on me where I went, Ralph, come on, you goofing around. Oh, I'm declaring war, I'm declaring war. I'm gonna burn the whole thing down. Vito's a better file. Dick doesn't love me.

I know all the secrets. Ralph, just go take a nap, drink some water, and uh... And don't apologize. Don't, you don't need to apologize, there's nothing to apologize for because the apology is meaningless. Yeah. You did drugs, or some, I don't know what you did. Drugs.

Sure. Sanics and liquor. Okay. Well, you would know better than me. Yeah, I know. I don't know what he's doing specifically. But Ralph, nobody here is like... See, this is the worst thing about an addict is they go, they're all against me. No, you're just really fucked up right now. Can I do this?

No. That's it! It's okay if I getHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA They told me bubblegum was bad, I would just stop chewing bubblegum. And you know, maybe you should say this, but then, my age, from my point of view, I'm just like, well all I see is just, you know, a bell curve of death and suicide. So do whatever you want. The tragedy- Doesn't really matter what people do or say. You're either gonna do it and die or you're not. Well that's the tragedy- No matter, caring about it doesn't affect any of it at all.

The tragedy to me is that it's not like... I wanna say like in the addict's mind, they go, my behavior is totally shocking and beyond the pale. Yeah. No, it's completely predictable. Yeah. And I understand it on every level. When you're sober, you're unique.

Yeah. When you're blitzed out, you are those things. I know that very well. Clearly, no addict would respond with crazy rage at the people telling him to sober up. Never seen an addict spell. I'll throw that out there. Uh-oh.

Like, that's the worst part of it, is you go, I know you want to think this spiral you're having is a unique situation, but you're just doing the same most add routine every addict has ever done since the history of addiction And that's why I can't even be like I don't know what you want also where I'm like, you know Oh, you know, I'm gonna like really ruin things for you and call you a piece of shit. I heard it man I don't think that's gonna make you feel better though. Yeah, I think you'd feel better if you just kind of like cleaned up a little bit. I want to stay off the wagon! Nah, just get up.

Yeah, I don't know. Again, I keep running into these situations recently where, let's be real, it's a little embarrassing to fall off the wagon and whatever else, and you want to save face somehow. Oh. And you're like, your friends want to help you save face. We don't want to go on our popular podcast and talk about how you're blitzed out of your mind. I mean, look, I got a lot going on, all right?

Yeah. Well, I mean, it is interesting when a guy, I hate to say it, we talk about our lives on here, when a guy goes, hey, Vito, you're a good guy. Why don't we get lunch later? I go, we should get lunch. I love Ralph. And the next day, he goes, I'm going to kill that fucking pedophile. Don't be Aaron M. Holt. You're a good guy. Why don't we get lunch later? I go, we should get lunch. I love Ralph.

And the next day he goes, I'm going to kill that fucking pedophile. I'm like, well, I guess that lunch isn't happening. Maybe we'll make it a late dinner. Want to go to Chuck E. Cheese? Want to go to the buffet, Ralph? That'd be a good stream. Look, I asked Ralph where he is. Maybe we could meet up or something.

I don't know. But I don't know where he's at. I don't know what he's doing. I don't, maybe we could meet up or something, I don't know. But I don't know where he's at, I don't know what he's doing, I don't know who he's shacking up with, I don't know what's going on. Ah, well, good luck. Maybe you can sober up. Ralph, if you're sober tomorrow, you want to get a hamburger, let me know. We can go to the Hat, get some pastrami. That's across the street from an elementary school.

There you go. There's a great, there's a great, exactly, the kids love it. There's always some good people watching at the Hat. Is that your problem? My problem is people People not changing unlike me who everything is getting better and better. I Am changing. I'm becoming more and more horrifically What do you call it desensitized to the world good? Yeah, you should be we're going further, right? So you can you're the new liberal. I think I am the new liberal.

You're the new liberal, man. Okay. My problem is... I think I brought up on the last show that I'm the liberal that all the further left liberals come to when they have a right-wing problem where they go, the blacks are, something's going on in the black community, huh? I go, yeah, I guess. Some of that trans stuff's a little weird, isn't it?

I go, am I like your confidant now? I go, yeah, I guess. Some of that trans stuff's a little weird, isn't it? I go, am I like your confidant now? A guy I have not. You're like the priest. Dude, did I tell this in the last story where a guy I have literally not talked to since high school 20 years ago sends me like a DM out of nowhere, and he goes, what's going on with all this trans stuff?

And I go, why am I the guy for? I mean, I know why I'm the guy, but like, did you need a guy? Yes, they do. They do need a guy. Yeah. You're like, they want you to it was a war very bizarre and lead them out of their trans health I tried at one point. I was like hey guys. I think the left were kind of a little nuts Maybe we can fix oh Vito. He's a radical now

Can't let him on the insert credit podcast anymore. He's too Radical they were right. right yeah they are right my problem is disaster tourism I don't know like what is that Chernobyl you know oh that's so cool are you kidding me I love that stuff Pompeii Pompeii all the gay guys like you got blown up by the volcano and stuff what was that uh the Fukushima nuclear disaster some guys got it there and they pissed off all of Japan by it. Totally. You're really not supposed to go there.

Japan was very upset. Ground zero, they have a Holocaust museum in Fort Wayne. I don't know if that's disaster tourism necessarily. Oh yeah, tell me about the diary. Yes, yes. Can we see the gas chambers? Can we see the gas chambers? Where did the gas come out?

Was it this hole, this hole, this hole, this hole? The tour goes right through there. Yeah Don't ask any questions though. They get very upset. No they don't sit on the gas chambers do they? Is this the original door? These hinges look kind of like flimsy for iron doors Well actually There should be there should be you would probably get in trouble with the Holocaust denial tour Like you pay a little extra and a guy takes you through and he goes that's bullshit That's bullshit a secret audio that chimney is not big enough for human fat to get through there's no way

Just do Holocaust denial tours people would love it. Yeah, I went to a concentration camp Boy, did you go to Germany? You were in Germany? I went to Doc out and I was like these It was the the showers and then I was like, oh wow. Where's it? to Dachau and I was like, these, it was the showers and then I was like, oh wow, where's, I opened the door and I was like, whoa, where's the ovens? You know? And she goes, oh, they're down this path. You make a left and it's about 200 feet around the-

So they had to wheelbarrow them out of there. And I said, huh, that's a long- Stop it. Really? Look. I said, uh, huh, that's a long... Stop it. Really? Look. I said, lady, that's very anti-Semitic of you. That's impossible.

If there's anything the Germans are known for, it's their inefficiency, Dick. They're very inefficient people. So those are the backup ovens, and then they wheel them over here. German inefficiency is known the world around. And then there's this guy. Who's this guy? Who is this? I forgot to pull this up before the show.

This is one of these cool videos of cool stuff. Remember, it's disaster tourism. Disaster tourism is my problem. I mean, look, I follow these accounts that go to some of these. Are you kidding me? They have the whole Chernobyl mission in Call of Duty. It's awesome. Where is, come on.

It's like going through Chernobyl, having a good time, getting to see all the remnants of the past. Good job loading this up beforehand, man. Well, it's your fault. Here we go. Oh, great. Hit the eyeball and then hit it again. And then go to the thing. Jesus fucking Christ. Wow, this is going great. Hit the eyeball and then hit it again.

And then go to the thing. Jesus fucking Christ. Wow this is going great. We got a great show for you folks. Hahahaha. Hold on, hold on, I got an idea. No no no no no no. I know. Right click, reset, transfer. Yeah that's what I did. Transform, reset, transform. Where the fuck is it? is it just add as a

new window look after all I could say is I think it's important for civilian journalists and we have this guy to go out on the field to get the story that the news won't show you and sometimes that means go rushing into disaster zones and letting people know what's going on. So this is Vito, and I was alerted to this because people started texting me, oh my God, Vito's shitty, Vito's house. Vito's toy mansion burned down?

Vito's toy mansion burned down? Vito's toy museum? And I said, what? And he goes, look at his Twitter. And it's Vito standing in front of a burned down, still smoldering house. Yeah. Someone's property. Me and Dre stood in front of a burned down, still smoldering house. Yeah. Someone's property.

Me and Dre stood in front of a burned down house with a can full of matches. And the cops still ain't found out. Uh, okay but... You can see the fire in there. Yeah, uh, what are you doing here? I was looking at fire. Why were you mugging? Why were you taking like silly Why were you taking silly pictures?

What's silly about that? Isn't that silly? That's cool. Look at that guy. That's a guy who gets the story. What's this? What do you call this? Hey, what are you going to do?

What can you do? What in your brain told you that it would be OK to drive to someone's burned up house and mug, take silly selfies and posts them on Twitter. You know, sometimes I do things for me. I think most of my life is me doing things for me. So to me, California living. California living. Po buddy's nerfect. Well, I think the idea, you know, that, you know, oh no, you know, my house burned down. How manyhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh you do how many of these shots did you take?

I just a couple to get a good one. be anybody's burned down house. What would you have done if they saw you doing this? Just like pretended to be on the part of the news or if the homeowner saw me doing this she like crawled out from there And good what the fuck are you doing here? Why are you taking? The house is already gone That's Okay issue, so it's the, like, it's the, should the coroner take a picture of the dead body, right? You know, it's like a cool dead body, maybe got shot in the face a bunch of times.

The coroner isn't making silly pictures on Twitter of the dead body. He's like taking pictures for, for like record keeping and crime purposes. Dude, if the Abu Grave guys can pose in front of a fucking tower of prisoners with heads pulled over their heads and go EEEEHHHHH People didn't like those Well I thought it was kind of funny HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAA HAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA HAAA pointing at their dicks and laughing and I'm like, oh that sounds awesome. How many pictures of this do you have on your phone? I don't know, like 12, 15, I don't know. Like, yeah, that's pretty good.

I need like more. Like what Alphardy knew me. Yeah, what me worry. That's a what me worry situation. So I went and I looked at the fire, it was cool. I wanted to see, look. It's not even Malibu, like the fuck the Malibu fire. Paris Hilton's home burned up.

These are nice houses, too No, this is like Alta Dina working man. No Not working man. You're a retard. No, this is worse than this is lower than dr. Kevin This is like a guy's above this was definitely above dr. Kevin look And it's all it's at the top of the fucking mountain. It's like fucking uh, it's all gated shit And whatever all the gates are burned away So you didn't got any of poor houses that you wouldn't do that. I didn't ask the fucking property value I just went I drove through a neighborhood to see all the burned down houses

Why like Christmas lights like what's wrong with you? Yeah, honestly other people want to see Christmas lights I don't know man. Like if you were told like let's be real Yeah, if the fucking plane crashed into the Pentagon you live five minutes from the Pentagon You're not gonna go over to look at the fucking But I hate the Pentagon on 9-eleven you're living in New York And you live like you're not gonna get on your rooftop and watch the fucking towers burn Everybody you took out there somebody's house everybody took out You know how many people died that night only ten people have died in the fire so far

Okay, you know how many people went to watch the Twin Towers burn with a camcorder went Yeah, that's incredible and I'm sure the house somebody's house burning guy with the Twin Towers behind a burning went Why not who cares? We're all gonna fucking that house Some people who own that house care. It's a house. If it was a body, I would kinda get it. What about all their stuff's burned up? You don't care about that? Well, I couldn't see no stuff. I was looking.

Were you looking to loot? I was like, are you gonna need Nintendo games hiding in the rubble? No, there's nothing here. I went to look at the fires. Alright, first of all, there's no reason to not go look at the fires. How did that turn into this? I got out of my car to take some pictures, and then I... Yeah. Look at the fires. All right, first of all, there's no reason to not go look at the fires. I got out of my car to take some pictures. And then there's always this quote in my head

that they say, like, old people will say, hey, if you go on vacation, don't just take a picture of the monument. Get a picture of yourself. So you're just going to take a picture of their place. Well, that way, when I'm old, people will be like, hey, did you live through the LA fires? I go, live through them?

And then I can go to my grandkids and go that was my apartment. I used to live in look at that But I took it like a champ Yeah Hey, I think this is a little like I already got chewed out by this fight Andy signore. What are you gonna do? The wildfires and went so I want to ask you about this. And I'm like, ah. Look, it's for me, OK? And then I post it on my public.

I'm a piece of shit. What do you want? This is my brand, OK? Life is stupid. I wanted to take a picture in front of a fire. And it's a shitty picture because there's not even a fire there. I wish there was a fire. And you used the logo of the show. That's nice. Hey, you can only see half then it's reversed

Well now people know where to get more of that. Who cares another matters. Nothing matters Honestly, it was awesome. I you know, I feel bad. I said like the Anne Frank house You didn't see my stream where I went to the go like Like that in there there. Try that. On for size. Okay, if they had photo opportunities with a guy dressed in a Nazi uniform at the Anne Frank house, everyone would do it. If you could open the closet and go,

And there's just that guy, like a dummy holding a gun at your face, everybody would do that. Or if it's like and Frank crying on her knees And you can like stick your head through a hole and now you're the Nazis It's all done it to any fire relief things at least I have an idea Okay, I what is it? Well, I don't want to I don't want to spill it, but I think I can't ask it

I think if I can get the right equipment Maybe we can do maybe we can do some good. What do you mean? Well, there's a lot of fire out there. And it could be up to- You're gonna start some fires and then- No, no, no, no, no. Take credit.

Put them out. Take credit. I saw some videos of some enterprising youth running around putting out fires and I said- I saw those guys. Well, all right. You wanna fake it? Not fake. Well, I wonder if they're faking it, but I wanna do it for real.

I saw some- I tried. I was streaming. tried I was streaming I tried to go fight bums I tried to put out some fires while I was out there I was trying to throw a dirt on them didn't work did you see my video where I went to fucking Silent Hill did you watch that stream no you want to see something cool I maybe go to youtube.com slash if you know too I'll skip ahead to the cool part. I mean, it's not cool It's a horrific tragedy, but this was the most awesome thing ever TWO So, you know, I'm out here look I'm just trying to be I got it

I'm just trying to be yeah, you know report from the ground of what's going on. And so I walked into the fires of hell to get footage from five people. Oh hell no, I see in the chat. Oh hell no, I see in the chat. Oh hell no. Oh hell no! I eventually found out that I had a flashlight, so that was good. Turned out there's a breakfast right there.

So I was checking out, you know, I was just getting footage footage from the sweets at Park Marino. Okay, that's better There see that's not that's better. That's not mugging in front of someone's burned up house Look I got a family's I went in and I got to see Look, it's a veterans hall the veterans pictures are ruined from the water leaking down No, you should have grabbed one. I thought about like would that be good to like save it? But I think someone will come through and save them at some point Really save these I'm sure someone will do it. Yeah, that's why I'm gonna take them to I don't fucking know Oh Classic I kind of want to? I don't fucking know. Oh, classic. I kinda wanna go back out though.

Look, it was uh... You wanna go do more spelunking? Yeah, here, you wanna watch me put out...I was trying to put out this fire. Look at this fire. This whole fucking tree could... This whole fire could...this whole tree could have gone up. I was grabbing little fistfuls of dirt. You were probably just making it worse. Well, I didn't realize I have no idea what I'm doing and I was probably gonna make it worse.

So I stopped but This is the this is the Jewish temple that burned down you burned the Jewish temple now I went there after it burned down. It's still on fire though. The Jewish temple is still on fire So, you know mean I Didn't want to say what does that mean? I was kind of when the news was like Jewish temple burns down like We're gonna make people think this is all justified for some reason This was literally dude. This fucking is the beginning of playing Bioshock right here It's literally a lantern beckoning you into the next level in lights. They get people out or some shit Are you worried about it if there's any stairs or anything?

what to climb? Shut up. Like all I'm saying is I may go check out the fire more and I may come prepared with fire busting equipment which I'm trying to get my hands on. Your turn. So head to youtube.com slash Veto2 and subscribe for that. Or maybe I'll do it on the main Channel I don't fucking know. I'll say this dick. Here's one problem that I've been experiencing with the fires Yeah, is power keeps going out. Oh

Yeah, yeah, yeah, and look some power outage Power your power going out power animals. It's the worst like it worse and worse Well, I don't know. It's like it's like you're in it's like you're it's like my life changes when I don't have power. Yeah, reverting. Yeah, I'm like I'm like, Oh my God, this is like a separate life now. Yeah. It's a life where Wow, I was a totally different guy with power. Now I'm thinking about now this feels like a box. I feel like I'm just in a box. Yeah, it's really weird.

It's like all your, like, I don't know if it's just the internet or stuff, but even when you had TV, you're like, well, at least I'm connected to the TV. Is this what life was like before you had a way to access anything outside of yourself, and you just were in a box? Women are just terrified constantly

when the power's out. Yeah. Wow, this is way easier. You know what I terrified constantly when the power's out. Yeah. Wow, this is way easier. You know what I love hearing when the power's out? What? How the food's going bad every two seconds. So I got in an argument once with the disabled black, non-binary writer of the Harley Quinn comics.

OK. Because they just hire whoever will do that for no money, and that's the person. And she said, you guys, my power went out. And I've dealt with food insecurity my whole life. And now my freezer, which has $3,000 worth of food in it because I've dealt with food insecurity. I need to keep that much food in there.

All that food is ruined now. And I said, if your power went out, it's not, it takes like three days for that shit to go bad. Like it's still in a box of ice. And she said, no, it's bad. It's all bad. It's all rotten. I'm like, no, it's not. Here's even like the, you can even find the F uh, food. Yeah. FDA was like, here's how long your food is in a freezer that has lost power. They're like, if it's not, you don't open it. It's good for like three days. She's like, listen, white colonist, all my food is fucking destroyed.

I'm like, OK, Harley Quinn writer, never mind. It is true that they freak out about the food. Women's belief in. I mean, it's women. Because once the doors close in the fridge, they don't know what's going on. Yeah, it could be it. It could be totally new food. Well, they also know it's like me and you have talked about,

like if the cheese has mold on it, you can like cut off that piece of mold or whatever. Yeah, they're like, no, the whole thing's bad. Yeah, like my ex-girlfriend, she was like totally freaked out. She's like, wait, you're eating leftovers from two days ago? I'm like, yeah. She's like, you're gonna die. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

It's like they have a very bizarre idea. Understanding of food. Yeah. Not at all. So that's part of the product of power goes out. How long is the food gonna be good for? I don't know dude, like literally when the power went out Hey, I think I remember her grabbing a trash can and being like we got a ditch all this food It's gonna go bad just fucking leave it in there. No, what are you fucking doing? It's gonna go bad in there It's gonna stink up the house. We gotta get rid of it So the power goes out and you're trapped in a world without your electronic gizmos and gadgets What are you fucking doing? It's going to go bad in there. It's going to stink up the house. We've got to get rid of this shit. We've got to get rid of it.

So the power goes out, and you're trapped in a world without your electronic gizmos and gadgets. Yeah. I don't know. There's some people going, oh, well, well, well, why don't you just read a book, buddy? Or whatever.

And it's like, no. It's just trash. I'm reading a book because I have to. Yeah. I don't want to do that. It's like school again. You can't relax. You can't enjoy it.

You've got to find your flashlight. The worst part is going, oh, god, I can't enjoy it. You gotta find your flashlight. The worst part is going, oh god, I didn't charge my phone. My switch is out of battery. All these other things I could have used. So I had almost no charge when the power went out. And my girlfriend's like, you're an idiot. I got 30% over here because you never charge your phone. I was like, OK, whatever.

So I secretly got my laptop, and I was plugging my phone into the laptop with the lid open. But I didn't want her to know about it, because then she would want to steal it. So you're stealing power from the laptop. So I'm taking power from my laptop. And then the next day, her phone ran out, and she's like, got nothing.

How's yours still going? Wait a minute, how's yours still going? I'm like, I don't know. It was just like last night. I can't believe it. I got a bigger battery in there, I guess. Passover, I guess. I don't know. And then the power came back on. I was like, I was siphoningsoing. It's like fucking moses, man. I can't believe it. I got a bigger battery in there, I guess. It's like Passover, I guess. I don't know.

And then the power came back on. I was like, oh, I was siphoning it from the computer. Look, when the power goes out for a little bit of time, it's like, OK, thank God. But you ever had those things where the power goes out for like two or three days, and you're like, what the fuck am I going to do? This is the worst fucking shit ever.

I think my parents' power's still out. They're right in between a couple fires. I think the worst thing for me is not being able to take a hot shower because the electricity gets my water boiler going Yeah, so I'm like I can't take these cold showers and I had to drive around I actually signed up to Planet Fitness not to get in shape but because I desperately needed to take a shower Take a horrible Planet Fitness shower. This is not enjoyable. You started working out. This is how I started working out exactly Well the worst part about the power outages for me. Yeah is a long time ago. I stole a generator

To dodge a game big heist. I made out with it nice But then my friend stole it from me fuck Yeah, one of the big ones big beautiful generator. Yeah, friends stole it from me and One of the big ones? Big, beautiful generator. Friends sold it for me and sold it. What the fuck? I knew at the time that I should have gotten it back right then, even though it would have been a pain in the ass.

As soon as I saw it, I'm like, I'm not getting that fucking generator back. And so now every time there's a power outage, I'm like, it's only how to fucking generate every single time for like eight years. I am wondering why I don't have like a little generator or something. I mean, I don't know what I would do with it. I guess just charge my electronics or something. Yeah, charge the phone.

Can you get like a, do they make, they must, like a battery that you can like keep your. It's attached to a flashlight. So you just jack off. Well, exactly. I can't even use my auto blow right now. That's horrible. You got me this nice present.

Yeah. Can't even use it. And then you go online. You can't even jack off without any power. Then you go online and you're like, well, maybe you can get on your phone. You go, well, what should I do when the power's out? And the ideas that these people have, you go,

I would rather just kill myself. Here's a list of things you can do when the power's out. Get out the board games. Off where two caught up in the hustle and bustle. Monopoly's gonna make that situation better. I think I've been read this list previously. Workbooks, puzzles, or coloring books. Bring back charades.

Everybody loves charades. Get out your instruments and make some music. That would definitely, my neighbors would love that. Just drinking, that's pretty much the only thing you can do. Drinking, yeah, my neighbors would love that. Just drinking. That's pretty much the only thing you can do. Drinking, yeah, that should be on here. Why not? Play Hangman or Tic Tac Toe?

Who wrote this? 90-year-old AI. Have you ever been sitting around, and you're like, man, I'm bored. How about Tic Tac Toe? Play some Tic Tac Toe, man. Let's get after this shit. Get some toe going.

Cat's Game. Fuck. Classic. Cat's Game. Fuck. Cat's Game. Fuck. Play trivia. Make your Cats game. Fuck. Play trivia. Make your own question. Make your own question trivia. You know the most fun part of a trivia

game? What's my favorite part? What's my favorite ice cream? Is coming up with trivia questions. You think that'll take you a whole day. Ah, what kind of tree is best? Oak. Show the kids how you played as a kid, assuming you have a family, okay? Get out the yarn. Or sleep. That's actually probably the best idea. Yeah, just sleep through the fucking thing. Power going out. Did you lose anything in your power outage?

Well, I kept trying to work on projects and whatever else was going down. Oh no, super killers, more delays. More delays. Okay, that's the show where problems are... Ethan Rao. Oh wait, no. People who don't change... People not changing is the problem. Also...

What was my other one? The power going out. People not changing. Power going out. Disaster tourism. Disaster tourism and arson deniers. Arson deniers. All the deniers. Let's see which is the worst. Let's say a couple things. One is to vote on all the problems, the biggest problems of the show.

We also need to mention we will be at Hackamania May 9th through the 11th in Las Vegas. And we're doing a good job this time. We're doing a good job this time. Last time we winged it. We thought we did our show, which was bad. Yeah, we tried doing our show. We're doing something different this time.

I will say this. If you're coming to Las Vegas and you only listen to this show Familiarize yourself with some of the aspects of these so-called dabble verse. We're gonna kill it this time They're gonna go that was the best that was the best show. I think we are gonna kill it this time We have a we have a game plan. We have a game plan We have a game plan. We're gonna execute it. Yeah, we tried to just talk about like problems and they're like Vegas and they're like Uh, I didn't hear the words Aaron or Im Holt once and then we went okay. All right, we got it understood We put us first too Why did we lead in Hackamania?

We were fucking going in blind. And I will not be doing standups, so no one needs to worry about, maybe I should. Maybe I should do your standup. Maybe I should force myself to do a whole new standup routine. Probably a terrible idea. Yeah, do it. Just that'll be a hallmark. Do a cover.

That'll be a hallmark of Hackamania. I should just do a cover. I should do someone else's bits. Yeah. Maybe I'll do a one man- we'll do some parodies- hey maybe we could do a parody song. Oh yeah maybe. That would be cool. Okay. Alright, is he a Hackamanian promo code biggest? He's Nick R-r-r-r-cator. They took his kids away. The biggest problem in the universe I've just discovered actually is when the lock button on your phone breaks, then you can't unlock it or lock it. So then you have to do a little workaround

where you plug in a card and then unplug it. Then you get to your lock screen where you can swipe up and do everything else. You're right though. Or I can kind of do it from a distance since I picked a phone that still has an auxiliary port Uh-huh. Okay, I cut off this little headphone thing How do you lock and then plug it in jacking unplug it and then it brings up the last song I played

I had to hit play And then unplug it again And then that's I'm able to get to the fucking lock menu from there. Okay. It's the only way I can do it remotely now. And I have a guy fix it as just 100 phones right off the bat. The part only cost five fucking dollars.

And I watched the guy take my phone apart to see if he could just reset the cable. And it looks like it would take just a few minutes not only fucking around with electronics but it's gonna be a fucking hundred bucks to like have this guy a hundred bucks and I have to bring up your iTunes app every two seconds you could fix everything in your life needs $100 fix and you can only pick like one or two a month I would fix my phone. I think my phone is pretty crucial to my everyday

Imagine how much the rest of his stuff is broken. I know and I Understand what you're talking about sir or how about when if the phone goes totally black for some reason and You can't find the and you can look and you're like, oh fuck I could kind of see it But I don't know where to swipe and you're just guessing Trying to fix your own stuff man. I did fix those two Xboxes though. I was very pleased with myself. Good job. I Replaced the disk drive All I gotta say is ambient is one hell of a drug. Okay, they say fellas watch out

Is ambient the problem? No, I don't think so. My expert opinion. I'm 18. I'm a Bob Dylan fan. And I know I'm a week late, but after hearing that last Bob Dylan voice, I just had to say fuck all you guys

for not understanding good fucking music. Good folk music. On the previous episode, uh... that uh... fuck all you guys for not understanding good fucking music haha yeah you know i'm a little bit of a division bob dole you know i thought about the the vietnam war which he never fucking dead uh... i don't even know if he has a single reference to it that all the stock in the event but his music was primarily

for a protest music which is a very small part of his entire music career, was about racial stuff, and I hate to act as much as the next guy, but you know. He's gonna get that on his shoulders. He just liked a little bit of equality, big fucking deal, he's a musician, you know, expected to be a fucking political thinker. I don't know, just because Vito's anointed the fucking Timothee Chalamet movie doesn't mean that you can just discredit a guy's whole fucking musical career. Yeah, you can.

It's one of the fucking greats, you know? It's all opinion based, but none of you guys have the fucking music, so you're not arguing on that front when you're discrediting him. His politics weren't particularly offensive. That's what I have to say. He's going to make a great old guy. Yeah, I know.

I can't wait for this guy to be lecturing me about when music was good. Come on over to my man. He's gonna have his daughter. He's gonna bring a new guy over and he's gonna go, come on, follow me into my man room and I'm gonna tell you about Bob Dylan.

I mean, in a way he kind of made my point for me where he's like, he was just a guy who made music that wasn't even really that political or interesting. I'm like, I know, stop making fucking movies about him. No, they love it. Uh, okay. Nice. Hey, Dick, I just found it really funny how you're giving Vito some amazing advice.

You're a successful guy and Vito kind of is like 40 without owning his own house or anything. Thank you. You're giving him the great advice to find something that you're good at that makes money and do it every single day. Yeah, those videos. You got to make those videos. Vito just refuses. Just doesn't do it.

Reminds me a lot of the old guy. Another guy. Did you make, how many videos did you knock out this week? I made one. Seven. One? I don't think there's money in it, man. I don't get it. It's funny, man.

It's funny. Some of it. It's funny. I thought it was funny, the video I made. Look, I'll keep making them when I get a good idea for one. You got to make two this week. I could maybe do two a week. But like, yeah, I don't think they're all going to hit.

I don't think they're all going to hit I don't think they're all gonna hit. Well, they're not, but you gotta make them. Yeah, well, actually, I have some ideas. Make another one with a little racist kid running around. Well, now that- That cop jumping in the car, that was a good one. Yeah, but that already kinda had commentary on top of it. Doesn't matter.

Yeah, I mean, you could add another- Add yours and go like, yeah. Damn! Yeah it doesn't matter. Yeah, I mean like yeah Yeah, that's good you gotta find kind of old ones though, that's the thing I can't do newer ones that people have already seen I have to find like older stuff the fire one was all over the place Fire one was too popular. Yeah, you messed up. I have some one. I want I'm gonna do one I thought about I won't spoil it. Okay this week the do the VNN you too. I'm looking to expand the VNN Okay, and we got to do two though But now that you can now that you can get like an AI performer and it's like pretty good I can just well I could just make like it's not it doesn't have to be great

But I can get like an AI newscast you're like to make it look like real news footage or whatever Oh great, but I can get like an AI newscaster to make it look like real news footage or whatever. Oh, yeah. Because I can't dress up like a newscaster because I'm going to go, look, I thought I would hire that fat piece of shit as a newscaster. Just take viral videos that already have succeeded. That already succeeded. Yeah, and then put your voice on them.

Well, that was Knife School's complaint. He said, well, Vito, clearly the success of yours, you're not really funny because you took a video that was already funny and just added shit on top of it. Yeah, do that. Yeah, okay. Do that. That is funny either way.

It is good. Yeah, cause I'm on talent today. And I wanna see the video again. You know, I'm like the guy who makes the puppet stuff. No, no, no, no, don't be complicated with your head. Just do the- How about I get a bunch of puppets to do it? Now that would be funny if there was puppets. And maybe one of them could be an Eric Jalai puppet and he could make the same joke every week.

That would be- oh my god. I couldn't believe it Do you see actual I tweet in the snow calm down Yaira or something like that It's like dude. This is like Chris Chan shit Calm down Oh Yaira you're chilling my bones I mean, did we discuss Eric July supposedly quitting YouTube, which I don't understand what that means. It means his view numbers have tanked.

His view numbers have tanked, but he's still going to go on streams all the time, because that's his primary marketing vehicle. What about his business channel? Yeah, well, he's stretched himself a little. He's just focusing. He ran out of business advice. He ran out of business advice. He ran out of business advice.

His business advice is have an embarrassing legal document where you go to the cops and tell them a guy put stickers on your fucking. What's going on with that, exactly? I think it's going to be tossed. It came back, and then it got tossed again. Eric Jalai and all the ripitars got subpoenaed, and then suddenly the case is over.

Suddenly they don't want to do court stuff anymore? Suddenly the prosecution said, no, nevermind, we don't want to do this anymore. And nevermind, we're done with this. Somehow that was the magic bullet. I mean, so- And he's dodging the subpoena. It's not good. Eric Jalai dodging a subpoena.

That looks bad. He's gonna have to answer for his crimes. Still got that track background. Well, hopefully the money from Yellow Flash's comic will help pay for whatever legal things come his way. That comic looks really exciting. A guy in leotards grabbing tanks and jacking them off like they're penises. Yeah. Is that the comic?

So, Yellow Flash, who... I was thinking the other day, there was a period of about three days. Remember when you went on Flashcast? Yeah. And Flash was going, oh, Vito's a pedophile, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I went on and I went, Flash, I'm not a pedophile. I'm not a pedophile, stop calling me a pedophile.

I don't think I cry. I'm gonna kill myself. I don't think that, that's not my tone. That was not my tone. Yeah, that was, look at this. Okay. Look at this bad boy. And then Flash basically said, you're right,

you're not a pedophile. And then like three days later he said, you are a pedophile! Yeah, well, whatever. Everybody turns, Ralph turns, basically said, you're right, you're not a pedophile. And then like three days later, he said- You are a pedophile! Yeah, well, whatever. Everybody turns. Ralph turns, Flash turns, whatever. Look at this. What's happening here? He's jerking off a big old cock. Is it his own cock? Or is he jerking off his dad's cock?

This is Yellow Flash's super Sentai character, the yellow page-, oh sorry, the golden Patriot. The gay jacker offer. He goes around with super jack off speeds, super jacking off tanks and mechas. You know, the golden Patriot is a line of adjustable urinals for gay men, so. This isn't edited, this is a guy who's jacking off the spiritual manifestation

of his dad's penis. This is his character has run at Abrams tank in the middle of World War, oh, they have Abrams tanks in World War II, I think so. I don't know. And has grabbed the, oh no, this would be a German tank, this is a Kraut tank, a Panzer. And he's fighting Hitler?

He's fighting Hitler. He's fighting Hitler's robots. It's kind of an Obama era thing to make a, you know. Oh, Nazis are the bad guys. Way to go. This is like an era of nuance, you know? Come on, buddy. So this guy who's wearing a fanciful gay scarf has climbed atop a giant manifestation of a penis and bent it backwards in an orgasmic fury.

That's how I deadlift. OHHHH OHHHH With my neck sticking out like OHHHH GOD I'M GONNA BAN Yellow Patriot there's a tank. AHHHH OHHHH Why isn't the German just shooting the tank

and blowing his ass? Yeah, it would kinda explode the shell in the barrel and fuck him up. I did like that somebody got in his comments and like, well actually a tank barrel has a diameter of what I. Yeah, he fucked it with a. Yellow Flash said it's just a comic. Like remember how all the Star Wars prequels

are like, it's for kids. It's for kids, man. It's just a comic. It's just for kids. So it's not good. It's just a comic. Oh, so the diameter doesn't matter. Yeah, so it doesn't matter.

Does every page in Yellow Flash's comic have overt gay shit? Homosexual overtones? Or is it just subtle homosexual overtones? I mean, look, guys, has everyone figured out that all of these guys are definitely closeted semi-gays? Yeah. Like him, shadowed versity, like... Everyone figured out that all of these guys are like definitely closeted semi-gays. Yeah. Like him, Shad-versity, like- Oh yeah.

He's trans, guys. All these guys are absolutely coping with the fact that they're like, you know, I'm not saying all the time, but they'll be like watching porn, it's like a lady sucking a dick and they'll be like, I bet I can suck that dick. And they go, what am I talking about? Why do I always say silly things? All these guys are a little bit closeted. It's obvious.

If you went into a tattoo store and you said, the guy goes, what do you want? Oh, what's it going to be? The big biker, like, what's it going to be? Stud. And you're like, oh, I'd like this image tattooed of a man dressed in a gay scarf. Not just a man, a Power Ranger. A Power Ranger dressed in a gay scarf. Not just a man, a Power Ranger.

A Power Ranger dressed in a gay scarf, gripping the tube of a tank so his fingers are denting it like it's flesh and yanking it up hard. It's the flared tip of the tank barrel thing. Do you think the tattoo guy would instantly try to start having sex with you, or do you think he would tattoo it on you first? He'd go, oh, let me take you into the good tattoo parlor,

where the red lights and the chains are It's my original character I call him the golden patriot the gulping patron His friend is the sailor rainbow sailor who sells on a rainbow of fun. Oh It's a colorful narrative. We're the asex powers. Hehehehehehehe. So uh, look, Yellow Flash is a little bit gay. This is gay as shit, man. I mean, he's in all that gay anime.

Here's what I hate. These guys- Oh, he's into that pedophile stuff. Yeah, these guys pretending that they're like, oh yeah, you know, it's like a totally masculine thing. Also, I'm into all this lolly little kid fucking anime. And you're like, dude, you're a fucking little nerd kid. It's'm into all this like lolly little kid fucking anime and you're like dude you're a fucking little nerd kid. It's get it get this it's a Doshinji and it's he goes back in time and he gets revenge by raping up whoa

stop right there. I yeah yeah you dressed up as Naruto for a fucking anime convention just I wish these guys these what drives me out is these guys who are like clear, weeaboo nerd losers, like myself, okay? But then they go on and they're like, Oh man, I don't take no shit, I'm a badass, but I'm like, no, you're in the shit with the rest of us fucking nerds, man. You're a fucking nerd, stop it. You're a nerd.

Oh, I'll fucking, I'll beat the shit out of Vito I'll kick Vito's ass anytime okay let's do it. I've never been here before. Can I bend your cock backwards? It is weird that like. What is this man? Oh this is weird. Cock bending shit what is this? Well it's all his cock. No it's someone else's cock it's another guy's cock. It's another guy's cock He's aiming it up into his wife's pussy look don't you think when most people like that about fighting the Germans? They don't think and then I'm gonna grab their big German cocks, and I'm gonna pull it back until it spurts into the air pussy Yeah, the fuck is this? The comic, look, I

know nobody believes me when I say I'm willing to be objective. I'm willing to be objective with these comics, but they just look fucking terrible. What do you mean objective? That's a big cock. He's grabbing a big wiener and sticking it in the air. I really had high... I know cock drawings, all right? I know what a gay cock drawing is when I see one. I go like this, gay cock penis, gay cock drawing right over there. This is some Tom of Finland.

I don't need to be like, EVS, well, what you need to do is you need some sense of action and the vanishing high ride. I go, gay cock picture right over there. As a connoisseur of vintage gay artwork, it's funny. This is some Tom of Finland shit right here, all right. This is some Eric Stanton. I tell you what. This is some fetishistic gay pornography, folks. Jesus Christ. Right there. Alright.

So we're all looking forward to the Golden Patriot. The mighty, mighty Golden Patriot. It just looks like shit. I mean the fact that it's a giant shot of his ass is bizarre to me. OK. Look, he's aiming the dick up his own ass. See that? Yeah. He's going to give it a hook. Bro.

He's going to give it the old hookeroo. I know I was arguing with Ethan about this, and I probably didn't put it the way. You can have this be the angle, but like, this is just a shot of a guy's asshole. Don't argue with EVS about it. I'm not arguing with EVS. Don't present it like you're arguing with him. Hey, I know he knows

EBS loves me. That's all I can say. Yeah, you need a cup check every once in a while though What no, I'm not look I stated it wrong, but let's be clear. That is a shitty fucking shot of the guy's ass He should be like lunging it wrong and being wrong. There's no shot of him jumping on top of the tank He just goes from his ass shot of his asshole. He should be jacking off Yeah, so in the next shot And there's no shot of him jumping on top of the tank. He just goes from a shot of his asshole. He should be jacking up. Yeah. So in the next shot, when he's playing with a huge penis, it makes more sense.

There you go. He should be salivating and going like, wow, look at the size. Look at that big penis. So then you know what's in his mind when he's yanking on it. I'm excited. All right. There you go. I was excited this week.

There you go. I was excited this week is, you saw EVS is putting out a revised edition of Cyber Frog number two. Oh, why? Some of the, some of the, some of the dialogue will be improved, changed around a little bit. Are you joking? No, he's doing that.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, very cool. Are you being sarcastic? It sounds like you're being sarcastic. No, I'm just saying it's almost as if People provided him with notes About who knows, you know you are taking credit for This to him. I don't sell copies. I'm just fine. Why would I'm just fucking around?

No, I mean I read cyber fog back in the day and I you know, I gave him some feedback I don't know what's been implemented. I hope you know, but it sounds like the opposite of everything you told me to do He might have done the opposite I'm just I'm looking forward to the revised cyber frog. I'm looking forward to seeing if any of my feedback We'll see He might not have used any of it. He said you gave him notes as well. So who knows? I mean, we are expert editors here, expert writers.

We all know it. It's very possible that maybe some of the Vito magic found its, all of it's found its way into the very possible. It's also possible he didn't use any of it, but we'll see. Let's see here. Guys get your super chats in again. I want to mention vote on all the problems, the biggest problem of that show. We will be at Hackamania. I did not mention the promo code. It is... The N-word.

Incorrect. It is biggest promo code. Biggest. Get, I believe it's 10% off. I think Patrick said the N-word is 15% off. Stop with this. I'm going to need to send a message to him going, can you also add the N-word? Now did you see he posted the list of which promo codes are performing the best?

Yeah, I saw that. We're beating the creep off. What do you mean you didn't like that? I don't want to have to compete for every little thing. I was surprised we were beating anybody because we have done a shitty job promoting honestly every single W ATP clip Opens with the exact same clip of Carl going hey guys. We're gonna be at hackamania. Oh shit. I'm not doing that Your pants off on stage

Carl loves me Carl is another guy who sent me a text about the fires. I think he thought my place burned down He's hoping he was feeling you out I think he thought my place burned down. He's hoping. He was hoping. He was feeling you out. He was hoping. I'm looking forward to seeing Carl in Las Vegas. Who's going to be there?

That was the worst thing that so many people, you tricked people into thinking that your house burned up and it didn't. Yeah, people felt bad for me. No, they were happy. And then they're like, ah, fuck. There were some people. And then also, because I have that profile picture

of a blond-haired guy in front of an American flag. So a bunch of anti-Groipa accounts went, oh, this Groipa's house burned down. I'm like, I'm not a Groipa and it's not my house. But I should have gave him the win. I should have said, ooh, Fuentes will get you. I love Nick Fuentes. Damn you, Satan.

You messed up my house. This is all. All right, anyway. So guys, Hackamania, also new bonus episode, biggest problem in 2024, patreon.com slash biggest problem. Yeah. And stop sending me messages saying, why am I not on the list of names at the end of the show? And then I go, are you a dick file plus or a dick head plus or veto file plus? You go, no, I'm one of the regular ones. I go, oh, so you thought it was a list of 2000 people that you somehow didn't end up on? You fucking idiot.

It's for the premiums. Real interesting approach to. Also, I have another announcement. Yeah. I will, I mentioned on the last episode, I wanna give away some mother's milks. So here's what I'm gonna do. If you're a member of the Patreon,

it's gonna be a raffle. Everybody's automatically entered. If you don't respond to my message to you when you win, then I'll send it to the next guy. And it'll be something like normal members, you're all entered once, and all you plus members, you're entered three times or whatever. I'm just gonna spin the wheel. I'll probably try to give like three of them away so I can get them out of my house. So... That sounds so exciting. Aren't you excited? You're gonna win a mother's milk.

Well, if you don't want it? You can win a mother's milk. Well, if you don't want it, you can send it to somebody else. Okay, I'm sorry, I'm trying. People want them. Like the fucking metalloid man that you're doing. The metalloid maniac? Yeah. And then you spin the wheel, and then you get a mother's milk, but if you don't want the mother's milk, you can double down and pay it forward. The physical challenge, Dick.

Everyone loves the physical challenge. Yeah, OK. The point is, if you're a member of the Patreon, you will have a chance to win. If you're not a member of the Patreon, you don't get one. Wait, you can't do a lottery on Patreon. You can't. It's against the TOS.

I had to stop mine. Can you ask people to sign up for a different lottery? No. You can advertise a giveaway, right? It just can't be a Patreon exclusive giveaway. Yeah, something like that. It can't be limited to Patreon members. Yeah, it's fucked.

I'll read your rage on the show, and that's no lottery. Oh, that's. Don't fuck with it. OK, well, I guess I have to figure out a different way to give them away. Can I say that it's open to everyone, but if you're a Patreon subscriber, you get extra? I don't know. Okay, well now I have to look it up.

SatheticSnowBee for two, thanks for not killing yourselves. CardinalCardinal for five, we love veto. SatheticSnowBee for five, biggest problem are people who prank you. By turning the lights off when you take a public dump, I'd say that's basically tantamount to rape. LJCloborino for two, a salsalamu alaykum, Shabos Gois. Sathetic Shinobi Five. Any chance Cali electorate officials finally face consequences now to rich powerful people have been fucked over by them. Yeah, maybe.

Well, we're getting rid of all the DEI everywhere else. You saw Facebook's getting rid of all the DEI, which is crazy. Yeah, it is. Dude. They took the tampons out of the men's room. They took the tampons out of the men's room. America is serious. That's back to America is serious.

Back to being serious bathrooms. See, look, I talk to Mr. Girl sometimes. And they made the holes bigger and the toilets. And me and Mr. Girl agree. We go, look, we don't love Trump, but there are some positives that we cannot deny. So it does seem like America's coming back to a place of sanity.

Yeah, that you guys messed up. Tampons in the men's bathroom was like, what do they do? They just sit there and you look at them and you pat yourself on the back and you go, whoa, well when my trans man friend finally shows up, because we don't actually have one, at least he'll feel safe. Looking at tampons. Yeah, looking at tampons and they can't get anywhere else and it's impossible for them to get. They have to be in the bathroom. They don't need any tampons. Yeah, if you're looking at tampons, and they can't get anywhere else And it's impossible for them to get they have to be in the bathroom. They don't need any tampons

impossible to get Honestly, we don't even need to wait in the women's bathroom. Yeah, I see okay, so it's Okay, it's for trans men. They do need tramp tampons It's for the trans men. You didn't get that part of it? No. You thought they were just in there to like, if I would mind be dumber. Well, like gay guys just take tampons and put them in their asses because it's fun?

Yeah. No, it's for trans men. Why is everyone calling them a different gender? I can understand your confusion, sure. My way makes more sense, actually. I mean, have you seen the- Men are still using the correct one, but we're just saying like, oh, we need tampons too.

Have you seen all the photos of the high schools where they have the tampon machines in the boys' bathroom? And they're messing them up. And the boys just grab them and throw them in the trash, and you're like- That's awesome. I mean, you guys are America's heroes. You don't know it, but you are. Like, 100% I support this.

DiamondG for two, Vito cried my property to keep the fires away it worked. Boss Hogg for 279 with a dollar bill thank you Boss Hogg. Hey well now Johnny Raggar for 5, Indian lives matter. LJ Clauberino for 5, Vito please do more Vito video audio dubs have you seen MCC or Jabouti dubs? No, send me a link on Twitter. I know a lot of people are doing stuff like that. LJClobberino for two, MXCpigbunny. Got it. Pineappleman for two, thanks for not being on fire. Thank you.

Kirkz for five, imagine this, the omen. But Dick learns his daughter's destiny to become the first woman president. The fires herald her arrival. Yeah, sounds good. That would be a good comedy movie. A lady's about to become president, and only America's two greatest misogynists

can put a stop to it. Johnny Rocker five. I can't believe Dick betrayed the Ralph-O-Mail, forcing him to say true things about Dito. Finally he's not defending you anymore. I know. Black Crimson for two, Flame On for another five. He says, thanks for the flaming hot Cheetos

and thanks for not burning yourselves. Thank you. Enormous splits for two. Biggest problem with songs that suck but have great intros. That is a good problem. Some songs have fantastic intros and the rest of the songs is dog shit.

Or the reverse. It's like hot town, summer in the city, but it has a minute and a half of shh. It can go either way. But there'll be some songs where the first minute I go, oh man, this would be great in a movie or whatever. And then the singer comes in and he goes, Oh, fuck this garbage turkey sandwich. And he can't get an instrumental version. That's the worst turkey sandwich for five. Today's my

birthday and I won't be watching live because I'll be getting plastered and sing karaoke. But in Shalaa Riley's case will be dismissed. It does seem that that's correct. Gooofe for $50. Dough! Here's on the board. Thank you for not killing yourselves. Biggest problem is going back to work after vacation. Hopefully LAX is on fire, so I have an excuse to stay in Japan.

Veto's booty, please. Oh, yeah. Here's hoping, Coofe. Should have got you a fireman's coat, so you could do a special fire edition of Vito's booty. Bret's man for two as a socialist, I salute Dick rigging on billionaires. Oh, ragging. Raging on.

Raging. I'm rigging on billionaires. See, this is unnecessary censorship. Raging on Vito's. You can't say ragging or raging? Raging. But he put it with an amper. Why the fuck can't you say raging?

I don't know. Tubby Tits, Vito for five. It's going to be hilarious if Vito's stuff burns. Genuinely hope Richard's house is OK and you stay safe, but Vito's place, that's top comedy. I'm closer to the fire than you, right? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Plus you're up the side of a mountain.

You drove here. Bretzeman4too, biggest problem is stolen burnt house valor. We talked about that. What a piece of shit. Oh, I did not actually try to pretend it was my house It was a little fun joke What's the joke? Someone's house burned down. Fuck your house? Yeah, fuck your house. RIP house. What are you gonna do? I wish the house would have shot you

Potato 105 for 569 Bigg's problem is a giant fire chucking dicks in my ass Nobody wants that stay safe out there boys. Hippieie Terrace for two. Hippity-dippity-toilets skippity. Findable my bowls for five. Can't wait for season four of Big's Problem. Dick and Vito versus Ethan Ralph. Destination retardation. No, thank you. Well, now you, Milo and Ralph, are going to do a big show.

You guys can all go down to Mexico. You can have a taco bar going. Talk about gay stuff. Talk about Mexico stuff. I'm forbidding wasted podcasting. Can we get Milo in here? Why did Milo not do this show? I think Milo's too big for this show.

Yeah, but he likes you. He'd do it just to hang out with you. Yeah, but he's like, you know, he comes in and just wrecks shit. Like, he's like coming in and I'm doing a lot of like outrageous, saying a lot of outrageous stuff. This is like making sarcastic jokes. Like, you have a point. You have a pussy podcast.

I understand what you're saying. Yeah. Be a lot of energy. He's a lot of energy, yeah. I want to know what he has to say about evolution. Milo and Eric Escobar. I know that would be a match for the ages. Pop quiz for ages.

Is anybody watching that Mr. Beast game show? Tell me if Eric shows up. I've heard he's like. I watched it and didn't see him. Maybe I fucked up not doing the intervention, I don't know. I don't want to do an intervention with Froul Fall ripped out of his mind. The best thing about interventions

is you can do them whenever you want. You can do it tomorrow. How about a buffet intervention? This is a new thing I've come up with. Oh yeah? You got them loaded up on crab and shrimp. So they can't leave? Yeah, they can't leave, they're eating.

They don't want to leave, yeah. It's in the middle of a meal. That's a good idea. A lot of tasty. Pop quiz for 10, RIP LA. Dick Ponensky for 5.56. Vito, don't you think you could try a little harder? Well, J-Rob detailing Ireland for five euros. Cheers, my friend. Thanks, Rob. J-Rob. Tube fare for two. Bink, Vito, Bob Skedaddle, Deek Dot, Booper Von Trap. OK, Riley and Friends for five, what a night for the sector, I guess.

Sol2xl for two, late in flambé. Austin for two, bigs problem reading clock and being on time. Thank you. Kade of Swiss for five. Thank you. Lorenzo Areola for two, my guy that gets me dirty movies, might have cancer. Lorenzo, you've got to call into my show. You have a guy who gets you dirty movies?

Can't you just download them? He's not gonna get them himself. Who's your guy? Nah, that's overload. You get porno like that. I have some porno DVDs. I'm going through my garage organizing shit and I have some porno DVDs in there. Do I need porno DVDs? No. Right. Get rid of them. I've never watched them but but I got them at the tranny porn Awards That was the name of the Awards when I went to them, okay? I did not name them that did you go there cuz my trans friend won an award What was the award ugliest most original scene? No not like Jesus Christ, man. What the fuck was that? Holy shit, you are just I don't know who it is I know you don't know who it is but why would you go, oh, it's a funny award

ugliest trans lady No, could you imagine? Jesus Christ My friend was nominated for best original scene so I went to the I guess I can't say the name of the awards But that's what they were called at the time. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I can't say the name of the awards but that's what they were called at the time. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and you can't say the name of the awards. No. There's a lot of old awards you can't say the name of. That's true. Potato 105 for the four, great fat and gay. Tubby tits Vito for two. Looking forward to seeing a skinny Vito to pop up. Point is when I got a grab bag of trans pornography that I never.

That should have been thrown away right at the thing. I thought I would use it as like for a bit or something. A bit of jacking off. I did use it for a bit, actually. Strategy for what? I have some original Buck Angel DVDs from that era, though, from like 10, 15 years ago. I should get Buck Angel to sign them.

That's how I found out about Buck Angel. Why would you want him to sign them? I mean, because it's like a collector's item. Like, you get it graded. Hey, how do they have graded pornography yet? No, that would be cool. I don't think they would do that. No, the PSA back it wouldn't do that.

Maybe CGC would do it. CGC will do anything. Strategy for Five, hello from Vegas. Can't listen. I'm just doing a quick sweep to make sure you guys don't get any dicks in your asses during Hackamania. Report to follow. Thanks. Strategy for five, okay, sweep complete.

Turns out we've got the saying wrong. It's actually what happens in Vegas stays in your ass. Nobody wants that, Dixon V. Nobody wants that. That's true. Tubby Tits Veto for two. You can't super chat fat anymore. What the fuck?

Wait, actually? Sarah Gardner for two. Love your hat, Veto. Altered beast. You want to know something? What? This was the first Veto hat. That you wore or that you ever had? When I became a hat man, this was the hat, Vito. Altered beast. You wanna know something? What? This was the first Vito hat. That you wore or that you ever had?

When I became a hat man, this was the hat that did it. This is cool. I was at a convention, I said, hi, you know, I can't wear hats. I got such a huge head. Yeah. And they said, well, what about these snapback hats? They're big.

And I said, hey, I kinda look good in these. Ah, you do look good in them. Riverbeard for five. If the teabags put microplastic in my balls, do coffee filters also put the microplastics in my? I think he's saying balls there? Yes. I think he's saying balls.

Yeah, they do. They do. Cut your balls off. Tubby Teeth Vito for two. Vito's lost cat was the first victim of the fires. I am mad at the people who go, oh, my cat's still in my house. He was under the bed. I couldn't get him.

I'm like, so keep going until you get him. The fire's not like outside the fucking door. We gotta go! No! The women's- Fuck the cats! You know what, women's understanding of food spoilage is about equal to women's understanding of fire.

Where they're like, there's an evacuation notice! I'm like, that means you got like 12 hours maybe before anything happens. Before nothing happens. Yeah, before nothing happens, you're probably fine. They're like, I can leave the cat in my house! The Girl Caster, bring on the Ralph-O-Mail. He's coming for you, Vito. He's coming. Our best friend, Big Not Russian Productions, for $100. Yes, for $100. Laundering his Bitcoin through this show. Thank you. Thank you, Big Not Russian. Thank you.

Found him a balls for five. Vito, why don't you do 15 second Daily Clips with DeepState Derek. There you go. There you go. You gotta to do it, though. You got to give me two this week. I need a good Deep State Derek costume. I guess I can use that American flag. Just do it over a video. Yeah, but you want to see Derek. Not really.

Just want to hear new stuff. But then people don't understand the character. The character is. Just get like a cheesy, like, fat, going, like that. I could do some, I could do some fight. Yeah. You know what? That's a good idea. I put up a VNN post today. Yeah. I got your girl with it.

Yeah. The BLM. The BLM. That was a little obvious, but I don't think anybody else has done it yet. Ramis Draven for 10, staying sober and staying strong. Video you cried hard about my property. Ralph and Riley should team up. Maybe I'm going to get nailed. Reis did ask Bailey for two who'd win a

boxing match Dick or Imholt. Oh man you Aaron definitely isn't he tiny he looks tiny I don't do that kind of gay shit yeah you probably would not agree to that. Sign friend T for five leave it to the greedy Californians to hold horde all the fire while the entire Midwest is covered in ice. Why not share some of the destruction? I wish. Agnostic Uzumagi with five, it's so funny that Vito is just being incredibly nice and patient with Ralph, which is the perfect foil to Ralph's antics.

Vito's stocks are up. Because I know, I know. You're really tripping him up. Well, I know what he's doing. He's being an addict. You want to be a fight? You want to be in a fight? So you hate me and you want me to be a...

Ralph. Buddy. Yeah. Let's get some food. I just want somebody to go to the restaurant with. His worst nightmare. I mean, if Frog Tony had played his cards right, I would have went to the buffet.

Let's go have a drink. Yeah. I'm sobering up. I don't want to go out with you. There you go. You know, I need an eating buddy. Justin Row sobering up. I don't want to go out with you. There you go. You know, I need an eating buddy. Justin Rowland for two. Mediker wants on to discuss the boogie 1488 death.

Oh. I have no idea what you're talking about. Hey, Joe for two. Dick, did you ever try a blanket as a pillow? No. I should though. I thought you did try it. My neck is fucked.

I mean, I don't. I don't know. Maybe. Is this another Dick versus Dick? I don't think I did. I have to share my blanket and pillows Why don't you get more blankets and pillows? Oh, I'm a blanket master. I hate them. I got a ton of blankets My thing though is I have to you know, cuz I got to share my blanks with my cats

I gotta make a little nest for them to lie down next to me. Is Maddie like blankets? No, she's a Lab. She has two coats Fair enough. Special spy for five. Why don't women communicate? I lost out on $300 boots because my girlfriend didn't tell me she was going to buy them for me. How did you lose out on boots? That's yeah it makes no sense to me. That sounds like a you problem. Yeah. Fonda Bubbles for two. Ghana has the world's largest e-waste dump. Oh yeah! I think that's the reason. They say that the IQ levels are directly correlated to the amount of e-waste.

Whoa. Like it completely fucks up your brain. So I think the IQ in Ghana, it's like all these kids digging around in cobalt and lead, it's like not good. Asper tame brain tumor for two. Vito can't rise from his grave. Rise from your grave. SB for five, RIP Jimmy Carter.

His death clearly broke the seal keeping LA's destruction at bay. Thanks for not killing yourselves. What about all that talk about what the presidents were discussing at Jimmy Carter's funeral, huh? I didn't see that. You didn't see that? Where George W. Bush patted Obama on the chest while not saying hi to Trump. And everyone's going, well, what's going on? And then Trump was saying something to Obama and lip reading experts are trying to decode

what he was saying. No, I didn't see that. Having a lot of fun. Chud Bronson for two, part-time veto, Slash Bolt for five, it sure is cold here on the East Coast. Please send thoughts and prayers for us. East Coast dig holds it so frosty and cold. We'll send you our fattest bitches.

Justin Ruland for two, Ralph and Mil. We'll send you our fattest bitches. Justin Rowland for two. Ralph and Milo looking rough and sound gay. Not gonna lie. Potato105 for 12. Hey, Edo, I'm starting to think you're not a total libtard, but each time you almost see the light, Team Guy programming kicks in. Why is that? Is that, did you do Team Guy stuff today?

I don't know. I don't think so. Big Not Russian Productions for 50. Border Patrol's in the Bakersfield arresting illegals. It's pretty funny. I watched them apprehend people when they first showed. I want to see some streams of that. Yeah, that'd be good.

Yeah. OK, here's what I'm going to say is there's been a lot of predator poacher stuff. I think we've all seen it. We're getting tired of it. On the ground watching, you know, magazines get busted. You know, I was on a stream with that guy, Alex Rosen.

Oh yeah, I think I did. Two days ago, and I said, oh yeah, what do you think of that newly ped game guy? Like, isn't that awesome? The guy that does the game show. He goes, I wish he would work more on catching predators. And I'm like, you know. These guys always gotta like have big morals.

Like, oh, I'm getting these guys arrested, man. I mean, you know, it guys always got to like have big morals. Yeah. I'm getting these guys arrested. I mean, you know, it's like an entertainment product. You know that, right? Like, you're not. That newly pet guy is great. I've talked to that guy on Twitter. And I'm mad that I'm not remembering his name.

Colin Schumacher. Colin Schumacher, yeah. I'm like, come on, man. Don't be that guy. Yeah. You guys, all you predator guys, you got to get together. You got to be part of a team. You can't be like, Colin Sch and shit. You know what it is

He doesn't want people trying to be more serious than the child rape okay cool I Can understand we're goofing around guys who grab so fucking serious Monetize try to beat the guy to death in a fucking grocery store I go well you guys are fucking it up like yeah But the guy who goes out there he goes if you win my trivia challenge, I won't call the cops. That's the best fucking gimmick of all time. Come on. And he's asking them the legitimate trivia questions. He's got like the host Mike where he's playing the newly pet game. And the fucking petaphiles are like, oh God, oh God, oh God. I gotta answer these questions. Which of these Great Lakes has the largest body of water?

The Finger Lakes? Incorrect! You're going to jail for illegal enticement of a minor. Yeah, funny. My ex-girlfriend has a penis for ten. Women wanting to complain about work between the hours of five to seven. Women work for empowerment. Men work because we have no choice. I spent eight hours a day getting aped by Harvey Weinstein. Oh wow, that's... you should do something about that. Pigeon for ten, the addict pendulum swings again. Swings again. Potato 105 for 269, the solution is to stop being fat.

Lawrence Devaney for five, the kill stream has been a garbage pile since Zidane left and that's being generous. I haven't watched the kill stream in a while. I've, you know, I want to make an appearance at some point. You know, when's the last time you went on the kill stream in a while. I've, you know, I want to make an appearance at some point. You know, when's the last time you went on the kill stream? Recently, I think. I haven't, you know, I haven't seen the shenanigans. I know they're getting a lot of top tier guests. I saw mint salad on there. So, you know, obviously he's getting the best of the best,

but I just haven't made time. Justin Rowland for five, Vito can't put the fork down with a miracle drug, but passes judgment on a chemically addicted Ralph. Well, let's just say Vito loses two, maybe in effect. My girlfriend had a penis for five. Biggest problem in the cost of sending a message to this big man child.

Corn pop for two, Tweetie Bird. Justin Brutted for two. Ralph, do what you need to do. Smiley face. My ex-girlfriend has apop for two. Tweety bird. Justin Brody for two. Ralph Do What You Need To Do. Smiley Face. My ex-girlfriend has a penis for two. Vito Burns. Imagine the chicharrones smell. Clap the Trap and Destroy for five.

Man, I love Rick Basterdson. My girlfriend has a penis. Yeah, the Rick Basterdson plush has a... I don't know where that's going. For two. Vito, how did LA burn with the wooden doors? Potato 105 for five. Hey, Dick, I was able to watch your Dr. Phil episode recently and it was hilarious, top tier comedy. Thank you.

Rugged Rugged for five, Vito, I work at a bank and call the client who lived across the 405 from the Woodley fire. Am I an idiot? I don't know. Yeah. Probably. Dean Shock for five, thanks for the laughs, boys. How do you think Aaron will do in his one versus five boxing match at Hackamania?

Has Aaron agreed to box at Hackamania? Did he say he's coming to Hackamania? Probably. I mean, Aaron would go to Hackamania. Like he absolutely would. He probably maybe should, I guess. I've heard, okay, again, this is all of Karl's promos. Every one of his clips starts with, Nick Reketa might be there. Oh yeah. So I don't know how true that is, but.

Nick Reketa wants you to use promo code biggest. He does want you to use promo code biggest. Hot fire Dingle Door for five. Shout out to my close friend Nicholas Gershith. Don't, don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

Don't. Don't. Whatever. What? Well, Nick G whatever. Last name Gers, first name Nick. Oh. That doesn't spell that though. Well he's trying to get there, you're right.

Oh okay. Hope you boys have a great rest of your show. Thank you. Hot fart, dingle door for five. Yeah, is a euphemism OK? Then he explains it. To be fair for five, didn't think I could despise stinky Vito more until his fire selfies.

Shameful. You can't buy clothes. I can always disappoint you in new and exciting ways. Buy Ex-Girlfriend as a Penis for two, baby arm. Grill cast for two, Ralph Amiel is a rock star. Stop sober shaming him. The Ex-Girlfriend as a Penis for two, get rekt fat boy. I don't care if Ralph does drugs.

He doesn't need to call me a pedophile because of it. That doesn't fucking follow. Jav City for three weeks. He can do drugs and also not call me a pedophile. Give up on the comics. Sell the Superkiller IP to the RIP-a-verse. Yeah, that could be fun. They're going to nail it.

May 4, 12042. Vito, did you try handling a fan-fired Pepsi? Handing the fire a Pepsi. Terrible joke. Gay bitch, 4,000 for seven 4000 for seven donate super killer to the victims She's my pockets will be there for two the fire stuff is cool Vito Thank you my ex-girlfriend had a penis for two says baby arm drunk at 80s studio for two if the power goes out I just hang out on my car is that a quincelle for two dad. When will uncle Ralph come back?

We'll see potato 105 for a huge 65. Hey, Dick, please cover the lug on the right with a thick wall of fog. OK, well, I got to plug it in then. Diamond G for two says, hit me up for super killers release date. LJ Claverino for five, Dick, when you receive your child, will you eat the placenta for nutrients or sell it on the black market?

Oh, god. Korn Pop for two with a chicken. It looks like a chicken peeing in a cup. Super chicken. You did that twice. Thank you, corn pop. One of the most devastating villains in the Biden verse, of course.

Let's see. Walter for two, your guy's chemistry has been on lately. Good job. I'm getting a lot of comments saying, Vito's funnier than he's ever been. I don't know what that's about. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you are. I'm nail a lot of comments saying, you know, Vito's funnier than he's ever been. I don't know what that's about. Yeah. Yeah.

That's not how you are. I'm nailing it. No more Vito Wars. No more Vito Wars. There were no Vito Wars, OK? Oh, god. OK. Look, the Vito Wars, I don't know what those were.

It was a long. Texting me a lot in a row? I'm not texting you a lot. More than twice in a row? Just text me back. You see, here's the thing. You I'm not texting you a lot! More than twice in a row? Just text me back. See, here's the thing. You don't understand that you drive people insane sometimes. Why?

I don't want to talk to you. Why? Because I'm just doing other stuff. But it would be one thing to say, like, I don't want to talk to you, but then you'll, like, tweet, like, this little fucking thing, you know? What? Am I tweeting? You were tweeting, like, all this little, little like you don't think it's odd that texting

obsessively and showing up unannounced is like a common theme here okay you don't see it yeah I do here's the thing I understand who you are someone who's doing other things I know you're doing other things I got it yeah that's fine okay and I got to deal with my own shit and you don't want to be a part of it Yeah, okay. Yeah, let's say yeah, you know when you know You kind of go and make yourself a part of it and do like little you know thinking little thinking You know like oh see that this is me that it's the same thing Oh, this will be funny

You know just kind of like fuck with him a little bit and then like, you know, not talk to him or whatever else. And that's fine. Yeah. I'll figure it out. I'm having a lot of fun. It's remarkable that the same behavior can be caused by totally one valid thing and one totally invalid thing, isn't it?

Emotion. I'm having a lot of fun with this show. I'm having a lot of fun with this show. And obviously Trump won, which I think has made you happier. But I don't even know. You're like mad about other stuff. Like what? The H1Bs.

Yeah, that's bad. Although now you got it. And see, now I'm worried, you know, is Dick Masks gonna lose his edge? You know, you got a kid on the way. Oh, yeah, yeah. Lock and thin, you know, you just solidify. I'm gonna lose my edge.

Relationships at home. People getting old usually get so much happier. How happy? Having no sleep for a year straight. I think of you as a happy guy though. You seem like pretty, you're not like happy happy, but you're like content. I'm just fucking busting with joy over here. I'm like a black woman in politics.

I mean- Just fucking jizzing joy every which way. I'd say the most- I'm the mayor! And I'm like a black woman in politics. I mean. Just fucking jizzing joy every which way. I'd say the most. I'm the mayor. And I'm black. Well, I think the thing for you is you have a lot of friends who have met with a lot of hardship this year or the past year. Like Nick Cricada, you were very torn up about that.

It was obviously weighing on you. Yeah. Nobody else, everybody else is fine. And nobody else is fine. And nobody else is having anybody else. Yeah. So, you know, I feel like you got a weight on your shoulder. You got a lot of weight holding you down.

You know, it's funny is it only gets worse. What, life? Yeah. It's just more and more people succumb to drugs and addiction. Yeah. And then you're dead. And you can't like replace them. You can't replace them, it's too late.

Yeah, you're not gonna make new friends or something. No, and they're worse. Yeah. Yeah. And they'll also just start doing shit that you're like, well, it's obvious that you're fucking things up. So, I mean, I don't even care anymore. Well, you know, but I- I just have my family.

Yeah, well, there you go. You got the family going. That's all you can control. Well, you know, but I just have my family. Yeah, well, there you go. You got the family going. That's all you can control. Well, you are a lucky guy. Because you're shackled together. I guess I would just say, you know, obviously, Sean left your other Sean. Yeah, he's making the right move.

But you still get to be friends with him, though. So that's almost OK. But what are friends, you know? If you're not doing something like with, if you're not doing something regularly that's business oriented, then what are you doing? When do you see each other? Almost never.

No. Well, I've said, you know, maybe we should organize more group excursions. And I think we're going to start setting up something like that. I'll be busy. See, this is the problem. And then I'll get six texts about it. Well, I, you know, I'm gonna say,

you know, I think you would be good to get out of the house. We could go, we should see a movie. We don't even have to review it. You wanna go see a movie? Why the fuck would I wanna see a movie? Well, what do you wanna do for fun? Just to be on the computer. How was your Pokemon tournament?

Only two people showed up. What age were they? Adults. So it was three grown men looking at Pokemon cards going, well, what are you going to do? Yeah, my nephew. He was playing them and I was like, alright, that's good. I'm just going to sit here and make sure no one's about to file. What did the winner get? Nothing. There was no tournament. Just total bust. We had talked about doing a biggest problem.

Magic tournament. We could still do that. That we can do. OK. That we can do. That would be a bunch of people getting together, having a group event. That's good.

I talked about we could get a little stupid trophy or something. No, no, no. OK, you can do it. A little trophy. I'll get a little trophy. You can do a trophy. Do whatever you want.

You were talking about cards, like custom cards, and all that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The first one can be simple, but I would think it could be a thing that could grow. It could be fun. See, but you add this shit, and then you can't do stuff that needs to get done.

That's the issue. You've got to only do the stuff that needs to get done. For the love of god, when I bring up can we do a fun social thing, we've got to critique. Because I see your comic. I see how you're running your fucking comic! Comic's great, Jeremy. It's not going great!

It's going great. There's lunch boxes and custom cards and shit and there's no fucking comic! I'm just saying, if we had yo-yos and pogs as part of the magic tournament, people would enjoy it more. The first invitation-yoyo magic tournament! Okay, let's do it this way. Challenge going tournament! Let's do a very simple thing.

To hang out with Carl before the magic tournament! Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up. That's Carl's thing. So's do a very simple thing. The hang out with Carl before the magic tournament. Shut the fuck up. That's Carl's thing. So if you're gonna just give me shit, yeah, you're right. Yeah, okay. That's my Carl at Night Under the Stars. Okay, so we do a magic tournament.

You said you might know a location. Yeah, yeah. You wanna do it at a bar? Yeah, you gotta do it at a bar. Okay. I was just confused because I was like, a bar's gonna let us take over the tables and play Magic Hearts? Yeah, for drinking, yeah.

Okay. I mean, I'll ask, but yeah. Well, let's- What are you gonna do, kick us out? Yeah. Ha ha ha! Okay, well let's figure out how to do it. Actually, the new set is coming out soon,

so we can do it with the new set. That would be fun. Ooh, okay. Yeah, okay. All right. We're gonna try and do it, and you said you wanted to do draft, right? Gotta be draft, yeah.

Doesn't have to be draft. Yeah, it has to be draft with? It's gotta be draft yeah. Doesn't have to be draft. Yeah it has to be draft with people who aren't like familiar with magic. Because there's some people who have never played or are playing after a long period. No but I was saying sealed is probably the easiest but sealed is less skill based. What? What's sealed? Sealed would be you hand everybody six packs and tell them to make a deck. No that's too hard

That is easier. That is way less hard than draft draft is way easier Then you got to pick and you're getting one by one and it adds a step. Okay. No sealed is Sealed is bullshit. I agree that sealed is bullshit, but it's not cuz it's complicated because it's complicated. That's retarded You're retarded draft is better draft is infinitely more complicated than sealed, but that's good because it's a better form. Everybody gets it. Okay, so we're going to get a bunch of boxes of the new set. Everybody pays for their packs and a little extra for prize support. A little something for the yo-yos.

It's not yo-yos. The winner will get a box of cards. The winner gets a yo-yo. The winner gets a box. A box of yo-yos. Sure, you get a box of yo-yos. Who fucking cares? All right, and a veto plushie. And a veto plush and a dick plush and whatever the fuck else. A box of yo-yos. Sure, you get a box of yo-yos. Who fucking cares? And a

veto plushie. And a veto plush and a dick plush and whatever the fuck else. A lock of hair. Why not a lock of hair? Get it graded. All right. Did you see the guys freaking out about the graded baseball card that's worth like a billion dollars or whatever? What do you mean? The patch card. I've been getting texts from Randy going, you hear about this patch card? I'm like, no. What's that? There's some new baseball rookie that's like the hot shit rookie. And Topps has a deal where for his first game,

he has to go out there wearing a special patch they made just for that game. And then sell it? And then they take the patch, and they put it on a card, and they sell it. Everyone's going, oh my god, I gotta get that. I go, why? That is the most wholly manufactured fucking,

it's not like even a real thing. It's like a thing they made up. The tops one of one patch? What the fuck are you talking about? That's the whole industry. Right, but that's like the most blatant, retarded form of it. It's the most, no, it's the most of it, what it is. A collectible that was made a collectible on purpose and there's only one of it.

That's awful, that's stupid. How is that better than the cards that they're making only one of? Well, cause the card, look, like with Pokemon cards they were supposed to be to play a game, supposedly. Okay, well that's not right. Remotely. Okay, all baseball, all sports cards are kind of stupid, but at that point I'm like, why would you care about that at all? Like, why would you not just-

There's only one of it and it's like, touched the game. These people are like, in love with baseball. Okay, but if you want- Have you watched Field of Dreams? But that was the point I made, I'm like, if you want- Have you watched Field of Dreams? Yes, like a million years ago. Do you get Field of Dreams?

Do you understand it? If you build it, they'll come. Do you get Field of Dreams? Do you get it? Baseball is exciting for people'll come. Do you get Field of Dreams? Do you get it? Baseball is exciting for people and ghosts. Remember when the guy walked off the field and turned into an old man and then had to go to hell and couldn't play baseball anymore for some reason?

Do you remember that? I don't remember that part of Field of Dreams. You don't remember when he, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh You lost the game. So now you go to hell lose the game Yeah, if you lose on the field of dreams hot dog, I got a little girl throat, which was weird I don't remember that part. I don't remember the part where they had to play baseball against Satan or whatever They didn't play baseball against that was in Ghostbusters the animated series Winston has to play baseball Or they would take over the earth for 5,000 right? if you want something that touched the game right so playing shortstop great Egon says where's Winston shortstop? For a thousand years the demons are cheating You don't remember that episode did you even get that episode how many fucking seasons of the Ghostbusters animated series was there?

I just remember going why does Egon have white hair you know white hair in the fucking line He does not white. I was blonde or white or whatever It was a very light blonde very light blonde cuz looks cool. Yeah, I said, why does he sound like why does uh? Why does that one guy sound like Garfield? The point I was trying to say is if you want something to touch the game Yeah, why not knock out one of the guys's teeth? Isn't that the same thing? Yeah, that'd be awesome. They get that T3 growing stuff now.

Well, why don't they just, yeah, why don't they, like, you know, I don't know, cut off his fucking ear and put it on a card? Okay, because that's already been done. Just be a Van Gogh ripoff card. Something that- These guys like patches and stuff. Something that touched the game.

But you can get actual bats and, like a baseball makes more sense to me The guys want like a baseball from the game. No, cuz this was made. Why would you want a patch? Because it's like military, you know ish But why would that like the price of a baseball is like they don't get up that high and was like a crate I like probably go through a million baseballs every game. There's only one patch Don't you get it? You don't you didn't see field of dreams I don't think you even saw it you just saw the trailer or something So why doesn't he go out with like a stick up his asshole?

And then when the game ends you can pull the stick out of his butt. That's what you would this was my stick Why you guys million dollars because it's always gay shit. You take something like baseball field of dreams Why don't they don't pay a cup and midway think of? When they're sending and shut up your ass and go this was my magic piss field of dreams why don't you piss in a cup midway through the seventh ending and shove his shit up your ass and go this was my magic piss from the first baseball game this is the same shit if anything came out of his body I would rather have his piss than a fucking patch you would open it up and see the patch and go why isn't this a black woman lesbian why can't this be a baseball lesbian it doesn doesn't make any fucking sense! Who cares?

It's a- it's- how come there's no super killer patch? Dark Patch was out there on the field. Why don't you draw the patch in the comic? When he was swinging for the ball, he was wearing that patch. People love that shit. You know that they do. I know, but that is like, moronic. As a guy who collects shit, that's moronic. That's the most best version of that.

I'd rather have a life-size mother's milk than that fucking... Have you seen those giant Funko Pop statues? They're like the size of a man. We gotta get a mother's milk made. No, like actual Funko Pop. At the mall, at the Santa Anita mall, there's a store that only sells Funko Pops. It's disgusting. Really?

Dude, it's huge. They have like a bajillion... I actually should check how many mother's milks they got. Okay, Dude, it's huge. They have like a bajillion. Actually should check how many mother's mugs they got. Okay I'll call them tomorrow. They have giant eight foot tall statues of them God of sleep for two. Can you do raffles on discord? Maybe? Yeah, that's yeah, that's different. That's above board Yeah, Walter for two you guys chemistry Yeah, we said that. Waza Kadauza for five Milo's on pot awful right now as producer of this show We don't want him as a guest.

Joe Cool for 10. Richard is mean. Vito, you're mean to so many of his friends and always take shots over nothing. Then you go and suck up to the big guys, but not too big like Mr. Beast. Insane of you to call that out. Insane of you to call that out.

Yeah. Beach Hook for 10. It is. My buddies Airbnb said no ejaculating in the hot tub. They don't know. They don't. They don't know. They gotulating in the hot tub. They don't know they don't know cameras And they got six cameras in every hot tub in Airbnb potato for ten get on the scale mate

Straight beans for furry. I were one 1 million in 24 hours. Yeah, I were to 120k Yeah, I ra hype. It's a cold spring for the IRA gamer do 23 for two Of course veto has cats and shit lips for five. Thanks Maddox for springing for the fireproof bunker I'm a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a

little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a Got me sobered up in California and the patients I was with were chill. I think we would have to find him rehab in Mexico Which I don't think they have part of like a let's fix Addicts club. I guess a lot of people are but now I'm not

But who's gonna fix him if not you dick nobody Maybe his audience will spring for it. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. Go for it. Maybe we can gamify it. You know, we had Veto Loses. We could have Ralph Stop Stuffing Xanax Down His Throat.com. And we have a smart contract for that. They got scientists making Xanax. We're not scientists. Wait, ClipSomber5 says they brought up Veto taking pictures of burnt houses in the most

recent PKA. It made Kyle sad, but Woody and Taylor thought it was funny. Okay, well that's good. They're fucked. I love those guys. Dead Cat for 10, Alex Rosen doesn't like the newly pet game because Alex isn't as funny. That's true.

Yeah. He tries, but it's usually embarrassing. Not always, but usually. I can't believe he said that. On the John for five, last I heard Colin Schumacher had to stop the newly pet game for a while after he ever contested Minecraft in himself. Yeah, I heard that too.

Jihad Obad for two, how'd y'all like Nas Faratu? ever contested Minecraft. Yeah, I heard that too. Jihad Oban for two. How'd you all like Nosferatu? Excellent movie. I liked the vampires. Okay, well, that's the show everybody. I guess we got nothing else to do. I'll just head out the door.

It's not like there's any other addictions that need addressing as part of a scripted comedy bit. What's the game where we smash all the toys? I don't know. I'm killing it. The streets are bound for the boys. Ohhhhh what's the game where we smash all the toys? VEEDO'S MOONIE! BAM BAM BAM! The streets of London and London! VEEDO'S MOONIE! What's in the box? You know you want it!

VEEDO'S MOONIE! So get out this- Can I smash it to shit? VEEDO'S MOONIE! VEEDO'S MOONIE! VEEDO'S MOONIE! VEEDO'S- Oh I forgot my fucking hat!

VEETO! VEETO! VEETO! VEETO! Well what's it gonna be? Oh hi Matty! What's it gonna be VEETO? Hi Matty!

What's it gonna be? I'm playing with a dog now. What's it gonna be VEETO? Well let's see here. What's it gonna be VEETO? Let's see here. What's it gonna be VEETO? Let's see here.

What's it gonna be? I mean I promised to give away Mother's Milk so I almost need more of them but I guess Let's see. What's it gonna be, Beetle? Let's see. What's it gonna be? I mean, I promised to give away Mother's Milk, so I almost need more of them, but I guess if they're smashed, it's still useful. The smashed ones honestly are better. The smashed ones are probably better. Well... I wanna... Alright, hold on. Stop for a second. You got one more. Hold on, hold on, hold on. What, are you gonna speech? I don't have a speech. Okay.

Uh... Hi. Hi. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. You get a speech. I don't have a speech. Okay All right, I gotta think about how to how to how to say this I Want to build up I want to build up a surprise What I want to build up a surprise, okay? So I'm gonna say I don't want you guys to know my weight Okay, cuz I'm building towards something. Okay. I'm building towards a big reveal. Okay.

That's gonna blow. So we're gonna smash it? So we're gonna smash it. Alright. Kyle's shocker. Now it's another one of these fucking things. It's one of these. Why are you guys buying them from me?

Watch your hands! Watch your hands! Don't fucking do it! Stop! But I have bad news. What? No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHH A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A Okay, let's make a deal. Let's make a deal. Let's make a deal. I think, you know, a certain someone won his court case recently with a coward known as Eric July. And a long time ago, he sent in this assigned guy his cradle, which as you can see has the stamp.

The QR code. Bro. Bro. C has the stamp. The QR code. Bro. Now I don't know what kind of- Bro. I don't know what sort of- Bro. Magic this is!

That is a signed Gaius Cradle. What does that mean? For the people at home. That is an $800 Magic card. It says it's void if damaged. Something is voided. What do you think that means why do you do this to me?

do you want- you finally did it you finally got me there's nothing I can't even do anything there's nothing I can do what are you doing? I don't know if now I could be fake I don't know I know it's not I know but the guy who sent it in recently won his car case court case so this is you kind of should have seen it coming that's good yeah bro you can't just you can't destroy a signed Gaius cradle. We're gonna get out like everyone's gonna be so pissed at me. I'll get on the- oh fucking shit dude. Come on! What are you doing to it?

Don't fuck- oh my god that's like $800! It's literally signed by the artist of the Gaius cradle. This is like not cool. People are gonna be really pissed about this! Stop! You should've gone on the scale! I mean, like, I have to- I have to abide by the rules of the fuckin' thing! I can't- Don't rip it!

Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Don't rip it! Oh, god! I can't even watch! Dude, please! Oh, fuck it! Don't rip it don't rip it don't rip it don't rip it don't rip it don't rip it

Oh, I can't even watch dude please don't do it Don't fucking rip it do something I don't know there's gotta be like a respectful way to do this What does chat think I should do? What does chat think I should do? I don't know man What does chat think I should do? I don't know man

It's the one thing I wanted the whole fucking time. You guys gave me two fake Gaius Cradles. You guys gave me two fake Gaius Cradles. And now the signed one. It's signed by, fucking, what is it, Mark Zugg? I don't, who is it? Who's the sign? Mark Zugg?

Who's that? He's the artist of Gaius Cradles. He is? Yeah, and he's gonna- Alright, alright, I'm not gonna see this. He's gonna see alright, I'm not gonna rip it. I'm not gonna rip it. I know. Okay? Yeah. What are you gonna- STAHL FUCK! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! STAHP! Come on! Put it out! Put it out! Put it out! Put it out! That's $800 up in flame!

That's fucked! Dude! Oh my fucking... crate. It's kinda fitting with the fires, isn't it? It's scarred! It's not even salvageable. I hear you! Do you want the QR code that shows it's a real...

Yeah, the shell is an authentic Ayers Cradle. The one magic card that I've wanted for the past two fucking- I tricked you. I'm gonna get so much shit for this. I'm gonna get so much shit from this. All the fucking magic blogs are gonna be talking about how we destroyed a Gaius Cradle because a pirate wanted to make a fucking joke Can you believe that Riley won twice this year already? Riley's the winner today

Got me I still have plenty of more good stuff though. No you don't worry about it. I still have plenty of more good stuff though. No you don't. Don't you worry about it. I've got plenty of good stuff from Japan. A lot of pedophile stuff that looks fun. That you would like. I can't believe we just burned $800 for this retarded guy. Because you didn't want to weigh yourself!

Because you didn't want to weigh yourself! That's why, because you're an addict. Because you keep giving me fucking mother's milk. I don't want fucking mother's milk For like 20 fucking episodes I Can't believe I can't Sign the worst part is it's signed so there's like way less of those than the regular one I can't believe. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho Wow At least I'm getting six bucks a month at least at least I raised the page This is what you get for taking a picture in front of that

Fire oh Man this hurts so fucking bad. That's so fucked God damn it, dude And I'm gonna have to wake up Here's the worst part, I'm gonna have to wake up to everyone going, a priceless piece of magic history was destroyed because a fat guy wouldn't get on a scale. He wouldn't get on a scale! We told him to do it, but he wouldn't do it!

And for those of you wondering, it's not fake. It was in the eBay authentication case. That's a- Oh my god. Great. Wonderful. Yeah, put it in the card saver. Well, I want you to have a keepsake. Great.

When I show up in my next Magic Tournament, they go, hey, how come half your Gaius cradle is missing? I'll go, well, it's a fun story about that. Wait a minute. Maybe you could still fix it with that guy you're always telling me to watch yeah I'll put a little bit of Kurt's card care on there I'm sure it can fix the fact that half the card is now up in front of Ash I'm sure Kurt's card care is gonna help out oh god see I knew you were gonna get me one of these days I just didn't think Oh God

See I knew you were gonna get me one of these days. I just didn't think would be today. I thought I had more time I Knew the rough stuff would throw you off your game Pirates win again! Yo ho yo ho! Pirates like for me! Vito's car has been destroyed! I burnt it up, yo ho! Riley wins, his case dismissed! Eric Jolai is a bitch! Yo ho yo ho! Pirates like for me! I hate this bit, I hate this show, I hate everything. I'm just never...

Okay. I hate everything. I'm just never... Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho in a state where you're like, oh okay, whatever, and then I hit you with a trauma. This sucks so much. This sucks like, this sucks so much. That's all you wanted. That's all you've been wanting the whole time. I hope Riley gets a W out of this. He deserves one. As long as Riley's happy, that's all that matters.

But Vito war is over. Long live peace for 1,000 years. 1,000 years. Everybody won except Vito, the way it should be. I win again. I'm going to go develop an addiction now. I'm going to go sink into the bottle. Goodbye everyone!

Fuck this show! Go to patreon.com slash biggest problem! We need money! Hackamania promo code biggest. God damn it!