The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 182

Episode Date: March 21, 2025

Oh my god, you have a sonotune? No! Yeah, it's a real one too. No! It's got a pubenant. You have to remove that before a baby comes into your life. It's bad vibes. Bad juju. I gotta transition us over now. There we are.

There we go. You think I should get rid of this? Yes. Don't touch it! You're not allowed to touch it! I don't even like that it's in the room. Go wash your hands! My life's been ruined since I I got touch anything after pregnant getting married No, it's actually you have to remove horrible before

These are all good things it hit me harder than anybody so that happened after you got the sonichu. Yeah I should have destroyed it. I think you should destroy it I was gonna say like send it out pretty good in the wake of the sonichu No, it's not my life is terrible man because you're pregnant and married. Yeah, I'm done I'm done. No, that's the best thing. I gotta call my dad and ask him how to financially plan for having a child Okay, I want to have that conversation. You can do it. It's gonna have a PowerPoint I will say the curse is complete if you have a Chris chan, baby If your kid comes out obsessed with Sonic, yeah

Yeah, but you know it turns out that Christian is actually good at comics and he's less crazy than other people He's less delusional than other comic creators Most of them I found I honestly no one no one in particular Most of them I found. I honestly... No one in particular. Someone should reach out to Chris Chand and professionally publish those Sonichu comics in like a hardback edition.

I would absolutely buy that. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me. I feel like I was just here. Really? It feels like you were just here. Yeah, that was July. It was July of 23. Yeah, yeah, that was before you were pregnant, right? Yep

I had but that was the month I got pregnant. So maybe after leaving this show Goddamn it Like I said Before that baby's born Because you're normally in New York, right? Mm-hmm. What are you out in LA for? I did Adam Carolla today.

Oh, you did? Yeah, I think it's coming out Monday. Was it cool? So cool, so much fun. He's the best. I had done Appleton, Wisconsin with him a couple years ago. During the pandemic, that was the first time I met him. I like when you guys say done.

That done it, I had done it. I opened for him, I don't know, did a spot, whatever. Did a show with him. And that's when I was just like, I've always liked Adam Kroll, but it was during the pandemic and he was like talking about how he's unfazed by germs and he's like, yeah, I'm eating food, I'm like licking my hands, I'm shaking hands.

He seems like he'd be really gross. He just doesn't give a fuck. Yeah. Not that he's gross, but I loved how he was so not a germaphobe. And he was just like, I'm gonna live my life, I don't care. He was super against COVID, because he was going on a bunch of different shows. Just like, wasn't it like he was talking to Gavin Newsom

and like laying into him and shit? Yeah, he was saying like, why did you close the beach down? Yeah, why did you close the beach down? Why did you put a bunch of sand in the skate park so kids can't fucking skateboard? He's awesome. And his studio is like my dream studio. He's really into classic race cars.

He owns like a bunch. He's got a bunch in his studio. He's got a bunch of classic cars in this full-size classic cars? Full size, like four. You guys sit in cars and do the show? No, I was lingering after the show and I was looking around and like,

cause he's, you know, people working there and I'm asking them like about what cars, one's a Datsun, a couple of them might be Datsuns, and he's got one kind of hoisted up on a thing, and then there's like three in the driveway and he's got a bunch more, I guess he has a bunch more in a museum somewhere. Where's his studio at? I don't remember, somewhere in LA. I'm he has a bunch more in a museum. Where's his studio?

He does crash it. I'm just, I don't know. Like, because I didn't know if he runs it out of his house or if he actually No, it's not in his house. He has a real studio. Like fucking Mark Maron just in the middle of what? Highland Park running out of a stupid garage. Did you get him to laugh? Corolla? Yeah. Oh, yeah. A real belly laugh out of him?

A couple. What was it? What was the best one? A couple times. You mean like what we were talking about? I don't like ruin the episode. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah a couple. What was it? What was the best one a couple times um? You mean like what we were talking about yeah, I like ruin the episode I mean, I think we could take a spoiler. Are you challenging the comedian? Oh tell me what was funny. I'm just asking what? What she said that he liked? I like Adam Corolla talking about like how Ben and Jerry's is woken. I was like fuck them I haven't bought from and I was like, fuck them. I haven't bought from Ben and Jerry's in years.

I was like, but if Haagen-Dazs ever pulls this shit, I'm going to be real pissed off. And then he was like googling the origin of Haagen-Dazs, and then something that maybe might have Nazi ties. I was like, I like it even more now. I was like, cool. Haagen-Daz with, a Nazi, Haagen-Dazs is a Nazi ice cream?

And then we were also talking about, like, he didn't know about the hot, retarded girl phenomena that's going on, so... Wait, I don't know about this either. What is the hot, retarded girl? You don't learn about it, it'll fuck up your life. Is there a retarded girl who's really hot? Yeah. Why is she retarded?

Why is she retarded? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why is she retar- is she actually retarded? Why is she retarded? Ask her parents. Ha ha ha ha ha. Is that real? Does she really have that body? Is that AI? If you're talking about the one particular video, it actually is a filter.

Oh, it is a filter. OK. Which blew my mind, and I only found that out, like, a couple hours ago. But now with plastic surgery, they can, like, de-retardify people. Detard. You've seen what they do to the Korean women, right?

No, what what's who's they? What do you mean the plastic surgery? Yeah? Yeah, yeah I'll look exactly the same get their hoods down. They all have that Mongoloid hood The Koreans whatever you call. Okay, I think From Mongols, I think that's what it's called. There's a lot of things that people are descended from that you can't call them Veto, as it turns out. In fact, that's one of the main things you can't call people. I might be wrong, but I think I looked it up

and it was like, to remove the Mongoloid-a-hood you gotta go in, you know? I was looking up a video about it and then I was like, oh, okay. I wonder what Veto is descended from. I wonder what your ancestors... I'm definitely descended from some Mongoloids. I'll tell you that right now. I am also. I think you still have like a caveman look.

Oh, thank you. I bet you have, yeah. Well, I have some Irish in me. I got yelled at. Someone's like, you're not Irish. You can't sell, I'm like, I am a part Irish, actually. St. Patrick's, because it was just St. Patrick's Day. Because it was St. Patrick's Day.

All right, you ready? Corned beef. You wanna do this show? Oh, we weren't even live? We were live. Wouldn't that be horrible? I've been on so many shows where they do that to me. I'm talking like, all right, we're ready to do this show? Oh, we weren't even live? No, we were live. We were live. Wouldn't that be horrible? I've been on so many shows where they do that to me, I'm talking like, alright, we're ready to go live, but none of that, that was all my good stuff.

I came in hot. Fucking jerks. UNIVERSE! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from unknown dead celebrities to animal animated oral catastrophes. That's a terrible rhyme guys Madison joining me is Vito Giswoldi special in studio Chrissy Mair

Adam Carolla show to this piece of shit We're on equal footing. I'm sure Did you have a fun milk talk with my wife up there? I did. I told her what pump to buy, I'm gonna talk about pumping, talk about, I said breastfeed as long as you can. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That, that.

Keep that up. Really get her zazzed on it. No, it's so good for the baby. Exactly, Vito. I'm going 11 months strong. I think it is good for the baby. I walked in here, the first thing I said is can I put my breast milk in your fridge? No, not hello. And then I said yes, and then we got a tour of the breast milk

like it was up all night with Dave Attell. Yeah, I showed you my uh, my travel cooling chamber. It was like, yeah, it was like fucking The Rock where he pulls the fuck. Yeah, like cryogenic, like, shhh. This is one of the things we wish we could uninvent Honestly the first guy to invent a breast storage pump container that's a bunch of glass balls hanging off a rod Probably make a lot of money that sounds dangerous Yeah, and children haven't ruined pregnancy stuff We're doing the bridal register the baby registry, and I noticed a distinct lack of like

Marvel shit. Get some cool, put some cool stuff on there. That's why Frank put on some clothes and things that he wanted the baby to have. There's certain baby stuff that you have to figure out, but you can put some cool clothes on there. You know what we got? One of her friends gave us all the baby clothes,

and they had gotten the baby clothes from someone else. So we have a Katamariond, say ball of baby, like it gets bigger with every person. So we don't need it. It has a new outfit for every day already. But you're going to want like some new stuff for you. We got a lot of hand-me-downs. Not if I have to pay for it. I'm telling you, like make a big, I had people send me stuff. Like I put the registry on my links and I had it like listeners would send me stuff. Oh really? And I did people send me stuff. Like, I put the registry on my links,

and I had it, like, listeners would send me stuff. Oh, really? And I did a big live stream. That's a good idea. You should have a public registry. You should. And then people can send you fun baby clothes or fun things. Can you imagine all our stupid fans buying things

for your children? I had a live stream during my baby shower, because I wanted, like, a lot of them were the gifts that people sent, like, beers, and then, of course, you know, family and people that don't have an online presence. But, uh, like, yeah, we don't have to griff super chats to do bonus episodes anymore. Wees. I'm going to have a baby registry too, but I'm the baby in that scenario. It's all the stuff I want. Yeah, do it. What stuff did you buy this week? A lot of Magic Cards. A lot of Magic Cards. OK, last week we had garbage grillers.

Let me do the grammar. Garbage grillers won? The problems were last week's problems. That's people who cannot grill and that you watch them take it over the grill and they just fuck it up. Yeah. Cook your rock solid burger. Especially if they're confident about it.

That was my problem. Yeah. I had a guy just burning the burgers and I'm like, motherfucker. You got to know what you're doing. Otherwise, eat inside. There's no shame in that. I remember one time this was not a grill thing, but it was a guy's like, I'm going to make fried okra and he just put the oil on the thing and turn the heat up as high as it would possibly go and I go, no, don't make it that hot. He's like, no, no, this is how they do it. I'm

like, no, and they put it in and they pull all this black fucking okra out and I'm like, no one's gonna eat that you dumb cogs. Okay? Just people who can't cook is a big problem ruined jokes. That's another one That's pretty horrible. Hey, you feel about people retelling your jokes and they mess it up. I think that's fine I mean, what's the you shouldn't get upset if people retell your jokes and don't tell jokes in public, you know I mean yeah Yeah, it's pretty sensible. It's flattering look at it. Uh headline

Death cock teasing. Oh, that was me man. I got hit with another one today. What was that one? Country music legend guys I did see that but who was it? Who's the country music legend? I'm declaring a boycott on those. Oh, could you click it and it goes Twiggy McJegerson is now dead Yeah, it's bullshit. And you go, who the fuck is that? But it did, it ruined my day for a little bit, knock me off. And then too much teeth getting smashed in was dead last.

What's a good amount of teeth to have smashed in? Are you watching Invincible? No. Dick's problem was basically he watched the most recent episode of Invincible and too many people got their teeth knocked out. Everyone's getting their teeth smashed in now. That's movies. No, they're not. Everyone's getting their teeth smashed in now.

No they're not! I think the problem was you didn't bring in any other examples. Who else is getting their teeth knocked out? I don't know. Invincible. The last season of Invincible. Just say the Invincible episode you didn't like. I see it all the time now. I feel like. I mean I know I've seen it somewhere but I can't think of a good example other than that episode. Well, it didn't win, so everyone loves it. Ask ChatGP next time.

What famous scenes involve someone getting their teeth knocked out? Urbbeta Patch says the worst part about going to a drive-through is when you pull up and a pre-recorded message starts talking to you before the real voice comes in. Yeah! You know they're doing like AI drive-throughs now?

Ew, stop. You know what I've seen a lot of in LA? The little robots carrying like, Yeah, you know they're doing like AI drive-thrus now. Ew, stop. You know what I've seen a lot of in LA? The little robots carrying, like zipping down the sidewalks. Oh, the little street robots. They're so cute, they have a little flag on the back. They're like beep, beep.

I'm like this shit would never fly in New York. People would be knocking them over, taking the shit out. I don't know how it flies in LA, honestly. Whenever I see one of those, I'm like, why are the harmless guys not knocking these over? For the same reason they don't have a job. Yeah, they're just too lazy to tackle a robot.

You have to keep AI at the little, you know, At the cute level. Grocery robots. I don't like the AI cars. I don't like the self, you know. Oh, that's accurate. I feel like people have torn up some self-driving cars. I don't like that.

The Waymo ones. They hang out outside the depot and try to jump in front of them. Wow. Yeah, no, I don't trust that. One of my favorite videos I got to find again was a guy who took a drone over Skid Row and it lost power. And the guy's like, shit, shit!

As all these homeless guys are like, that's probably worth money! And it's just slowly coming down towards him as he's driving up in his car like, ah! He managed to snatch it away from them with the last moment. Have you seen Bums versus Drones? No. Oh, it's great. That sounds like a great show.

This guy takes a drone and just fucks with bums. And the bums just get irate. Like dangling hot pretzels over them? Anything over them. Just like dive bombing them. Until they get pissed off. And they try to throw shit. They're throwing all their own shit, all their shoes. Some of them have guns.

They're shooting at the drone I've seen drones verse like Indian villagers, and they don't know what's going on I think it's like a ghost or some like they'd like a bunch of Indian kids are like hanging out playing soccer Yeah, the drone just like swoops in and it's all these kids run away like Country because then they're then they're genuinely scared of the drones. Smilomaniacs says, I like Benadryl Masterson. I want to see him on a different drug every episode to see all the personalities.

They're all drunk, as it turns out. Somebody had a comment which was, man, what's wrong with the audio this episode? And then they went, never mind. Dick just said he took Benadryl. All gas, no breaks. Canola is a specific cultivar of rapeseed bred to have low levels of eukaryotic acid.

The largest producer of rape in the world is Canada. OK, great. Hugh Jazz says, Fido still has the liberal way of thinking, where if you get into this country legally or illegally, you automatically should get all rights and privileges that he wants taken away from the January 6th protesters. Wow, he really got it. No, I think if you're coming to this country legally,

you do have those fucking rights and privileges. Yeah. Such as that man who got a green card and then protested Israel. The terrorist. And then just kicking him out. Yeah, what do you think about that terrorist, Chrissy? Are you?

What did he do? Oh, my pro-terrorist? He was a protester at a college, and they said that he was pro-Hamas without giving any examples of what the hell that means. All that is so stupid. Like, I don't know. Just focus on this country. Dick's opinion is basically if someone is getting kicked out of the country, something good has happened.

Yeah, get rid of everybody. Break a couple of eggs, I don't give a a fuck who else was getting deported this week, and you were all those uh all those gang members Oh, yeah, you want all them around I think that I ball your video I think you gotta at least give good out you like they should have a hearing to find out if they're actually gang members You can't just go Yeah, get him cuz all the judges are cock suckers too. You know, it's taking away from our own gang members in this country. It's true.

You know what? I feel like if we had more, we don't have any good white gangs anymore. No. The yellow kings are yellow kings. The Latin kings are probably fuming right now. You know, the Trinidad Rojas took over their turf. Can we get back to when gangs were wearing colorful, like little outfits and dancing against each other and whatever, you know?

Yeah. That'd be fun. Michael Fedor Show says, "'Wow, you get those dreams too, Vito. "'I am just in high school myself, "'what I can't remember.'" See, this is a problem talking about dreams. It's like a signal for other people

to talk about their dreams. Yeah. We were talking about the having a high school class that you forgot you enlisted in. They're going to do it again. I had that dream all the time. Right? What is that?

You're back in school, and you don't know your schedule. And I'm like, I just need to get to the office so I can print out a new schedule. But you know all this time is going by, and you're like, what period am I in by now? I know I've missed so many classes. And then you have the kind of dream where you're like, I've missed math all fucking year

I know it has got to be a test coming up I have those dreams all the time, but I always say when I wake up from those dreams I'm kind of like it's kind of like a good dream because I get to wake up and go thank God I'm not in fucking high school anymore. Oh god God fucking school. I beat that dream. Yeah The final boss I I woke up in that in that dream right yeah, this really happened and I was starting to feel that panic like oh fuck I haven't been to the class, and I wonder if they'll understand and I thought you know what who cares What like I broke through the matrix of that dream

Yeah, I never had it that dream in a long time, and I think it was just constantly being relieved I mean you're like lucid dreamer. Yeah, I have like some degree of control Oh, yeah, I've tried to do that too, but every time I try as soon as I realize I'm dreaming. I'm like oh yes Imagine it's homey imagine having sex with Anomaly Tadaka it starts to form and then I'll even know I'm like fuck I'm fucking it up. I'm fine. Okay. I'm dreaming. I'm dreaming I'm dreaming like I got a trick it to go back into dreaming But then I push it a little bit and I'll wake up and just be so irate I've had that same experience of being like you're fucking Lara Croft beautiful Laura fucking it out tomb raider

Did you know there's a company that's trying to develop a device so all your dreams are lucid dreams claiming it will in? A company that's trying to develop a device so all your dreams are lucid dreams, claiming it will... A mushrooms company? I think I'm invested in them. It'll improve your productivity because then you can brainstorm ideas in the dream state. No, they just want you like a marshmallow person, you know?

Well, I'm already there, so. He's... I'm on board. Marshmallow man. The Metaverse. Oh, that's odd. Salty Buck Guy says the biggest problem would be a great video game. How? Two guys arguing? Because then you never leave.

Yeah, I don't think the biggest problem... Well, maybe if each stage is... No, there's nothing there. Like if it's a good video game, then you just... You lay on the couch and try to think about a problem that you haven't complained about before yeah, and you go Shit I did That one like doing your taxes like getting stuff done Yeah, and then you can go on Twitter and say hey does anyone have a problem, and it's 50 driving problems Shows almost here for me going I complained about a food thing last week

Yeah, it's veggie says veto needs a dedicated food right. Show's almost here. Or me going, I complained about a food thing last week. Yeah, It's Veggie says Vito needs a dedicated food channel. He's too afraid he'll be compared to every other fact. You could be a mukbangs on YouTube. That's not the problem. No, I don't want to do mukbangs. Why not? Well, people want me to do food essays about various food-related issues.

You should. I have a couple topics. You're always saying that you will. I talk to, yeah, I got a new editor guy I've been talking to. I just, you know. Okay. Um. We're looking into it. Oh, Big Z says, good guy, Dick, bringing us the free bonus episode in spite of greedy vetoes efforts.

I don't think I was greedy veto in that scenario. And you loaded it with ads behind my back not behind your back I just turned on ads behind my Behind my back rule is that the actual episodes of the show don't have ads on them And then anything else on the channel like clips or whatever obviously ads go on them this guy, right? Go on them this guy right behind his back behind my bonus episode I can't put ads on it not that many one or two ads don't choose where the ads go YouTube Yes, you can you can thank you. It's a way that that was bullshit They literally built a robot whose only job is to figure out where to put ads I trust the role and it's every five minutes

Yeah, because every Yeah, you're right in And every channel does that. It's like, why do we got to be the one channel that doesn't trust the YouTube robot? Because we care about people. Because they'll put in too many. I care about just, OK, use an ad blocker. No.

If you're too dumb to get an ad blocker, or just pay for YouTube premium, then yeah, you shouldn't have to sit through ads. You can move where the ads go. I could move where the ads go. I just trust the robot. Aren't log lines supposed to be short? Also also there's no ads on it now cuz dick went in and he disabled them It's not worth 50 bucks to me to waste everyone's time you always think it's 50 bucks it would have been more than 50 bucks That's the problem 50 bucks a couple hundred bucks

You're just giving up for no reason Colin no no phrases aren't log lines supposed to be short Oh, we've had that discussion before log lines supposed to be short right Chrissy You know log line is again. Well if you're like a description of rip-a-verse Like a description of good comics lately There you go, that's or they all suck that's including that's including comments. Do you have any I don't have any yours has yet to suck Buddy boy, but once it comes out it will suck. I heard you and EVS having a philosophical discussion on comic comics and the was it the weight of a Yeah, you're unfinished comic. I don't want to get into it because it spoils every

spoils every conversation People don't want to get into it because it spoils every spoils every conversation. Let's come on people don't want to hear about it I agree, but I'm a dad yes Have you told me what you're having a boy yeah, we had a gender reveal No, and I had a blindfold on and then yeah, and it was a man. Oh you had a man come in For real? Yeah, and it was a man. Oh, you had a man come in? Oh, so the stripper. Oh, depending on the sex of the stripper.

The stripper was the man. Yeah. And then the stripper was a woman. Okay, what did the man, who came up with this bit? What, did they sit in your lap and you had to figure out it was a man or a woman? You know what, so she told him,

she's like, this is a comedy show, so really push, really make him uncomfortable. Ha! Good. And he came in and he was standing like way over there. So you were blindfolded? You were blindfolded? Did you have to feel around it?

Oh, I feel like dick. He didn't go for it. He didn't go for it. I mean, he didn't do what I would have done if I was doing a comedy stripper. Hold on, so you're sitting here blindfolded, the male stripper comes down. Yeah, and he's dancing. And then, so you had to, what, tell by the grunts

that it was a dude? I'm reaching out and trying to grab him. No one pushed him close to you? But then I thought it was like, he's putting my hand on his like, bicep. I think I thought it might have been a fake boob. A jacked woman? Oh, oh.

Yeah, or like, I don't know. I felt something. And you thought it might be a fake boob. I felt something and I didn't know. Okay. I would immediately feel around and be like, is there a death here? Grab his wiener? Yeah.

I should have went for the wiener. It should have been a wiener for him. Well, but then if I'm grabbing a pussy, that's not really so good. Because you're having a boy and you're gay, apparently. Oh yeah, if you hear her yell, then you go, OK, I figured it out. And now I have a sexual harassment camp.

And now it's a sexuality reveal party. Now you're talking to the judge. Committing sexual assault. Oh my god, it's so great. Have you started thinking about names yet? Donald. I'm really pushing Donald hard. Really?

Donald Masterson. Donnie Masterson. See, right, Donnie. Take it up with Big Don. You can really do a lot of stuff with Don. But she's afraid that Donald will get, you know, killed. Or somebody will carve a swastika into his forehead. Nah, Donald's gonna make a comeback.

There's gonna be a lot of other kids. I don't know about Donald, man. Well, yeah, you, Don. You'd be the one holding him down. Donald Duck is the first place I go. Donald Duck is based! It's a good adult name. Donald Duck is based for a dog. Is it a good little kid name?

Little Donald Duck. What other Donalds can you name? Don Henley. Donnie. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots.

Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots.

Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Donnie Knots. Don, D-A-W-N. Donald, and then middle name, J-Trump. Donald J-Trump Masterson. I think you should just name him Baron. Nah, she said that too. You can start it. Baron's a cool name, actually. Baron Masterson.

It's cool now. Masterson is a cool last name, so a lot sounds good with it. OK, do you want to do your, do you have a vote it. Okay. Do you want to do your? Vote it up or do you I do not because we have a guest and we're gonna spend some time All right, here's my problem. What did you think of those comments? What comes ones you just read? Yeah, they're great At least you had lazy Speaking which Chrissy of course while we get into this, you do a show. Penis Museum. Let's just read your search history. No, no, no.

Yeah, read it. Vagina Museum, Penis Museum, Jaws or Sighs. Did you know that the Vagina Museum's closing down? What? I did hear the Vagina Museum's closing down. Yeah, the Vagina Museum couldn't cut it, but the Penis Museum's going strong. Well, aren't they raising money to try and save the Vagina Museum? They're raising money. I don't know what they're gonna do with it. Probably spend it.

Did you hear that the Butthole Museum prolapsed? The Butthole Museum prolapsed? In the big fires. Is there a Butthole Museum? There should be. The vagina museum should sneak in with the Butthole Museum. Do you think they'd be right next to each other? I know the rat. Can you go to my Twitter real quick?

Oh yeah. So here's what's been going on in my life. Twitter. I have a variety of exciting projects, which everyone enjoys. Yeah. And I've realized it would be great if I had some people who could help me out with stuff. Okay. And one thing I've been looking for is a graphic designer.

Ooh. And I thought I could do the thing where I could like somehow, you know, post on my Twitter where a variety of people follow me and that I would be directed to a graphic designer who could maybe help me with some stuff. And then I forgot what happens any time you post the words looking for a, and then you fill in illustrator, artist, graphic designer, whatever, you immediately get a hundred cold-called DMs from Chinese people pretending to be women. So that's my problem. Oh, Hiro, I want to be your graphic designer.

Yeah, my problem is fake graphic designers. Now, I don't know if everyone's encountered this. No, they haven't. Right, because not everybody's looking for a graphic designer, but this is actually good information, I think, for people to have. Not everyone's trying to siphon free graphic design work off of I didn't say free I was going to pay for it and that's the problem is they know I'm gonna pay for it

So you'll get a message. These are all people who message me so we see here. Here's Freya Larson Who this is? There you go. It is a nice lady. That's definitely a real person, right? Specializing in graphic design NFT creator, whatever. Hey, you know just how to know where they go like, oh, yeah Hey, I can make a I can make this You go, oh, what's it? What is all that dragons and tigers is that the black tigers back there and tigers it shows strength That looks great. She does real good work.

You know, she made this thing for a guy. That's better. It's a little more. It's kind of easy. For Poppin' Addy. So here's the thing is all these things- Is that a comic book? Poppin' Addy?

No, these are all- these are like the streamers. They want themselves to be factorized. Alright. Now here's the thing is if you start digging through these people's stuff, you start to realize that there's really no consistency to what they make because it's not one person making it. It is an art form. It gets active?

It gets active little Bobby. Little baby. Little baby. There's already a bad baby. Well, this is the kind of look at this. Now that's an album cover right now, produced by Sixam. Scarecrow, S-C-A-I-R.

That guy looks like he regrets going to the strip club. I think this guy regrets believing he was hiring Freya Larson. Or maybe that's a picture of a gender reveal. It might be. So these people, here's what they do. I'm sold on this designer. You turn this person down? Maybe I should have went to them. What do you think about Olivia Mason who made, look at this.

That sucks. Blackbald ink. That's terrible. I could make that. Fantastic. Olivia Mason. So here's what I first became aware of this problem was back when Black Lives Matter was going on, everyone took it seriously. Because you would get- The last big riot that you guys were doing. this problem was back when Black Lives Matter was going on and everyone took it seriously. Because you would get- The last big riot that you guys were doing.

And then again, here's one of the persons who supposedly caused it. This is Olivia Mason from Boyz II. As you can see, she didn't get the memo. So you would get all these cold call DMs and it would always be a female avatar with a hashtag BLM because the idea is that there's a bunch of Chinese guys sitting in a room, like cold calling all these people, and they go, here's the thing about white people, is they all wanna hire a lady who's like an activist.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they know that like, they know that liberals are like so desperate to hire like a woman and like a black woman especially. Really? So for the longest time, it was always black women avatars going, hey, you know, if you want to get a logo, you'd also be helping a struggling black woman. And everybody would fall for it. You'd see them. They'd go, I just had Boofish Shaquanaquai make me a fucking thing.

And I'm so happy that I helped the community, you know, because again, again, and then I I what happens is you start DM in these people here. This is for Monica Cool, okay here look at her That's a beautiful graphic designer Kala Peterson, I know she's a good-looking lady too bad. It's a Korean guy Let's see It's not terrible. I guess we flirt with you at least well the thing is they show you all this stuff, but again Then they just go on Fiverr, and they hire Great this is all of the stuff that you're showing is art. It's all amazing good. Let's see this one

What the fuck is happening here, Keys? This is fantastic! You're telling me these guys, this is incredible graphic design. Black Girl Excellence, there it is. That's pretty good. Okay, but the difference is that you can just go on Fiverr and hire- Mr. Pizzo! I thought that said PTSD.

Mr. PTSD! You can just go on Fiverr and hire the same guys They're gonna turn around and hire while pretending to be a black woman. It's a waste of time. This is perfect I don't I just don't crush her is here I just don't want to hire an Indian on Fiverr though, but they're doing it for you They're hiring the Indians Come on that veto that's amazing. That is an amazing looking pod It's like, it's like, it almost sounds like, eh.

Not Negro, Kinggro. Hey, how's Anthony Kumia doing? Have you talked to him? He's doing great. He got syndicated in one day. Ugh, so exciting. Have you talked to him since then? I have, yeah. He's coming out. I have a home studio now. He's coming in. He's gonna do the show April 11th, he'll be at my new home studio. Isn't it incredible? Yeah, there's never been a worse Oh, but he deserves it more. It's like dude you fucking uncancelled yourself

Incredibly any foot cuz he found the one place where being cancelled doesn't matter cuz they're so desperate which is terrestrial radio It's like but that guy's cancelled. I don't give a shit. He is getting people to listen to their fucking radio. I will take, you can have a guy just say the N word over and over if he got fucking, uh, which is kind of cool. Breaking app downloads, record breaking listens. Yeah. Opie is fuming. Yeah. He can't, he's copie. You have to call him copie now. He can't handle it. He, it's all he talks about. He's like, I don't care. I don't care. It's still a Sunday slot. It's still a winner. Yeah, because when Anthony got the thing, Opie was going, oh, he's on Sundays at like

8 p.m., like a dead slot. They're probably not even paying him anything. It's not going to lead to anything. And everybody was like, Opie, you fucking idiot. He's on terrestrial radio. He can promote his own podcast. Because he's afraid. He's just afraid.

He's like- Of getting clowned on in the whole nation. That's what he never tries, because he's just afraid,'s like getting clowned on and that's what he never tries because he's just afraid I think of being compared to Anthony like if he were to really try and get a real studio Yeah, like producers in the basement at bar. It looks like dog shit That's why he can say I'm not really trying I'm not really trying Afraid of dude they film out of this dirty bar basement I think you can hear the people in the bar above them.

There's no acoustic. Or he does it from his apartment and you can see the ring light reflecting in the glass. I just wanted to say to people, so here's how you know, this was a different lady. Hold on. I don't work with women, you said? Yeah, yeah, well this is what I always say to them

because they get really thrown off. I can suggest you someone a male. I can suggest you someone a male. I can suggest you someone a male. I don't work with women. He should say oh you're in luck I'm not actually and then they sent me a link to the guy a different guy. Yeah, but why you not work with women? They smell bad I said. Okay. I'm very upset. This other one here's one time I got on the phone with them and I was like trying to grill them to figure out where they're from. Is this what you're doing all day?

Yeah, whenever I get calls from... I mean, just like talk about unrealistic demands. Can I get a graphic designer? You're a woman, I need a man. I'll get you a man. Full customer service. You're impossible to please. They're not real.

I'm fucking with... This is basically the Indian call center of graphic designers. They don't know who they're dealing with. They make great stuff. They do not make great stuff. All that stuff was great. This was Olivia Mason. I don't work with women. She said hold on I'm trans again solving. We saw her picture. That's funnier than you actually I

Did laugh get him to write and then I said you're not in America. What's your favorite? She said I'm from Ohio I said what's your favorite food? I can say fried chicken and then I tried to say okay If this is a black woman from America How about watermelon? If she was a black woman in America she would respond with that's racist instead she said no, I don't like it So that's how I know it's not actually a black woman Maybe she's just trying to get hired She's lying in television Maybe she's just trying to get hired

No, I don't like it She would at least go haha I understand the joke you're making but she would not say no, I don't like it I mean these conversations are you having that does every day a correct response would be like only if you put it with a grape soda I get into fights with Indian call scammer guys. Somehow. I get them to actually engage with me because I go Oh, yeah, they're trying to scam you no no, but then I get them and I'm like what are you doing man you're working at a call center and he's like this is a good job for me and I'm like no it's not you're fucking it's it is this what you want you tell your parents I work in a call center scamming white guys I'm like to go that far down to find someone beneath you like this

some I go I go you should be running this fucking place are you working for a guy and they go yeah and I go, you should be running this fucking place. Are you working for a guy? And they go, yeah. And I go, why are you not just running your own call center, man? You gotta really, I've had those conversations with the scam guys. Do you have time for that, Chrissy? It's just to fuck with scammers.

Actually, Frank does that. I get a million of those calls. How many of those calls do you get? I get a million of them a day. He gets a lot. He'll keep them on the line, he'll fuck with them, he'll put on a funny voice, he'll put it on speaker so we can all listen, it's really funny.

You gotta record it actually. Anytime I get those scam calls happening. Does the kid listen? Is he like, yeah, yeah, is it like story time? On my stepson? Yeah, yeah, he finds it funny. I try to boot up the webcam and record them sometimes, but usually they hang up.

They're like, were you in an accident recently? Do you need a car insurance for your accident? I go, I wasn't in an accident recently. And they're like, oh, okay, and what happened? I'm like, well, here's the thing. I was driving on the highway, I was driving really fast and I had to stop short and I flew through the windshield and my dick landed in your mom's ass.

And I go, you motherfucker, you stupid motherfucker, you fuck you, you'll not touch. They're very touchy about their moms. Are you covered for that? Am I covered? Have you noticed? And then your mom tripped, fell, and her mouth fell on my dick. If you bring up the mother to an Indian scam caller,

you can usually get a good response. Fuck you! Fuck you, buddy! Have you noticed that Indians, like, they don't, they can't resist basic getting made fun of? Like, bringing your mom into it, they'll lose. And you're like, what are you doing, man? They're so easy to trigger.

You gotta have fun with the Indian scam callers You stink, you fucking stink What? The only thing that sucks is that it takes a while to get to an actual guy now You gotta go through like a bunch of rigmarole Cause they call you up, they're like do you have Medicare part A and B And it's like an automated thing, I'm like yeah I got Medicare, put the Indian guy on And then you gotta rope it open a little bit.

They'll go like, how old are you? You go, oh, I'm 72, you know? And they go, what's your address? Oh, well, I'm living in Los Angeles. And I was driving my car and my dick landed in your mom's ass. Fuck you, buddy, fuck you. I can't believe your dick still works at your age.

And fuck you! You should have fun with the scam callers. That's the only fun out of them, because otherwise they just blow up my phone. I can't even use my phone anymore. They're calling constantly now. They have to do something about it, dude. It's worse than it's ever been. And once you pick up one, it's almost like it spreads to others.

Yeah, I don't know if they know, like, hey, this guy picked up so yeah, but like literally now when I get those calls I'll pick it up, and I'll just be like if you call me again. I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna kill your fucking family. I'm like I'm really hoping that at some point. They're like okay Let's put them on the crazy guy list Would they if somebody did snap and just blew up a call center in India would they start cracking down on it a little? Have you been seeing these like viral tweets about India's like low? What do they call it culture? Low trust culture? Low tea culture.

Yeah, why it sucks to live in India because you literally just like imagine a country where you're like everyone I know is trying to scam me at all times. I have worked with so many Indians. I don't need to watch the documentary on it. It's unbelievable. It's interesting. It's unbelievable. That they're constantly like, you'll negotiate a rate for like a job and then they go, okay, now you cut me a deal because in their country, it's literally like,

no, anytime you quote someone a price, you have to quote them a fake price. A scam is identical to an actual legitimate transaction to them. Yeah. They like their entire culture is just a bunch of guys scamming each other Yeah, well eating without utensils for some reason

Anyway, my problem is fake graphic designers guys. So what did you need designed? I'm doing layouts for some Projects what project told me everyone hates when I talk about stuff on here. So I don't know More super killer stuff. Not the comic. Not the comic. Like backpacks or something? Yeah, for backpacks.

I need a guy to make me some shorts. Popsicles. I really think super killer shorts are going to help knock it out of the park. Or, super killer knives. Super killer knives. I have a knife guy. A knife block. I just talked to my buddy the knife guy.

PVC style. If you guys need a knife go to PVK calm free ads My buddy who owns the knife thing just fired my other buddy was working at the knife thing and I've been navigating that drama So that's another problem is to knife guys getting into a fight. That's well It's more a knife guy hired my buddy who's not a knife guy, and he said your passion for knives just isn't there a knife guy and he said your passion for knives just isn't there. And then he said no more Mr. Knife Guy. No more Mr. Knife Guy. He said I really just can't have you here unless you can muster up some excitement for

the new Microtex or whatever. Like, America's not cutting it. I think they're gonna do a reality show there. I think Corolla would've liked that. Damn it. I think my buddy's doing some sort of knife reality show. He's going to be part of a larger reality show that goes to local small businesses or something.

You know what the greatest show ever made is? The one with Goldberg. The Wrestler? Yeah. What was that show? They have a knife obstacle course. What? Honey, what is the name of that show?

I stumbled on this. Can she hear you from here? She's listening. Oh, okay. Are you talking about that show where they build weapons or something? No, no, that was the prequel to this. But then they forged and fired. I stumbled upon this late at night on Netflix.

And it's this obstacle course for guys that make their own knives or are super nerds about knives. And they have to prove that their knives are good like our super nerds about their knives are good So they like hit stuff with it like design the design kind of sucks like they're cutting ropes And there's like a big hanging fish that they cut through Yeah, and like most of it is telling these but they're all like super Spazzes the guys who are into knives like one of the guys was like this black guy from Compton that just bought it like this shitty Chinese

Did he make it or did he buy it? He bought it as a piece of crap from China. So they're like, they have to walk around in these bomb suits because they're so afraid of these very clumsy nerds tripping and stabbing themselves. So they're walking with these little knives going like, do do do do, ah ah ah, and none of them can pass the obstacle course. Well they have that one show where like the guys so fun I think the guys make their own knives, and then they have one Chinese guy who's like the guy

They have that guy on the other one. He can't talk he can't talk He's in charge of like testing the knives cuz it's like yeah Well, he's a Chinese guy is gonna know how to do it better than anybody else you go yeah Oh, I just like starts cutting shit up. Yeah good gimmick anyway My problem is fake graphic designers. Did you hit the problem? You just won't hire anyone no I hire people I just I don't want to hire these people cuz I want to hire one of these guys Yeah, all their fucking forward me the one On Twitter and say I'm looking for no no no no I got one right there

So I'm looking for a graphic designer preferably a woman you would find it in two seconds. Yeah Probably a black preferably a black woman who cares I want the black ball You know the two white balls you want to have a bunch of tigers speaks to me. You know really yeah You want to have a bunch of tigers behind you? Apeball really speaks to me, you know? Really? It's like chaos in a ball. Okay, I'm not gonna lie. If we had some merch that was like the classic like wrestling out Now it's we. Like photos but like with the tiger and flames behind you or whatever else.

I do have a spoiler for, I'm gonna be posting our biggest problem in sports. Bonus episode promo. Which is also available this month on patreon Okay, and somebody did find remember I was talking about going to wcw to see diamond, Dallas page Yeah, and doing the DDP thing wrong in the crowd and getting mocked in school. Yeah, somebody found the clip So you're gonna get to see young vetoed as well. They add a WC. They found the clip Really? I think tomorrow. I'll be putting it it up so you'll be able to see a young fat Vito. Well I was always fat. You were fat as a kid? I was a fat kid yeah. I went up and down. There was a period of skinny Vito. You've seen skinny Vito now. You have lost

weight since the last time I was here. Oh thank you. Am I making that up? No no. He's lost like 20 pounds. Because we've been bullying. He's also for the for the people listening at home. He's also doing this show barefoot. Yeah, he's pulling a Vivec What that makes it worse why you have your why did you bring your shoes in here and then take them off You want me to put my shoes back? I do probably need a pedicure my toenails are probably looking ragged I'm not a sock guy Keep some slippers here. You're not a sock guy. I just don't enjoy socks. I think there's for everyone else to enjoy though What do you mean? Socks to me are like what if every time you left your house you put a condom on your dick

You wouldn't do that So why would you wear socks? They're literally the same exact shape a sock is just a condom for your foot Okay, I don't want to wear a condom when I leave the house Two condoms on my feet something weird about it. They get a sock that has a crook. A crook to it? Yeah, a bend to it. Unless you're condoms that have a crook.

You get some nice ribbed socks. You don't ever wear socks? I wear socks when my feet are cold. But if I'm going out. So I gotta crank the air up? You live in LA, yeah. Yeah. Honestly, you know what it is?

It is like, cause like, yeah, socks cause my feet to sweat more, so I don't like wearing them out in the California sun. You sure that's the socks? It is! Cause when I wear them I go, oh this feels terrible. Why don't you get some of those shoes that like your toes are all separated. Maybe I should do that. Yeah.

You know what? I would like that. I should get Crocs, right? You know I've never owned a pair of Crocs. Crocs? You do seem like a Croc guy. Yeah. I've never owned Crocs. They're fun Crocs? You do seem like a Croc guy. Yeah. I've never owned Crocs. They're fun. They're cool. Are they like-

Yeah, I have a couple pair. I love them. Are they comfortable? Nah, really. I was gonna say, can you like really walk in a Crocs for- Are they more comfortable than they are hideous? Uh, they're about the same. They feel like they look. Okay. But it feels like they would just fall apart after like a week.

Well, I mean you put a lot of stress on your shoe I know but that's the thing is I wear my shoes out But then they get to the point where I like how they feel all fucking destroyed And these shoes below it needs me right now are completely the same you're wearing these shoes with no socks Yeah, throw these shoes out these like poor people shoes. They are poor people shoes. But there's no felt inside them. That happened today. There was felt. I don't believe you. No, literally today, literally today I looked at them

because I was putting them on, and I don't wear them all the time, but I said, oh, I gotta cut that felt out, it's coming apart. Yeah, that means you have to throw them away. But it's got a nice foam. You can't be wearing, you can't be wearing this shoe with no sock.

That's probably why. Why my feet are falling apart? This is fine. No, it's not. Sketches, it's the S. No, it's time to go. Oh, it's not even sketches. The soles are all worn down.

These are great. It's time to go. The inside. And he only got them last week. I cut this out. Really? No. Today.

No, they gotta go. They fit so well. The other shoes, I can't slip on like these. That's not supposed to be comfortable. You can buy slip-on shoes. Yeah, but I've got slip-ons. I've't slip on like these. That's not supposed to be comfortable. You can buy slip on shoes. I got slip ons but they're not... I'll try a different pair of slip ons.

I got these and you know what? I should try and find these exact shoes. They're the only shoes I've ever been able to easily slip on. I should have just bought like 10 pairs. That can't be comfortable. You got no sole in that shoe. No support. You got no sole in that shoe. I have giant, here's the thing. Nothing and you're wearing no socks? You're asking for a plantar fasciitis.

What shoe size are you? Eleven. I'm a thirteen. I have giant- Okay, Mr. fucking big wiener. I'm sure that's impossible to get new shoes there. I can't wear socks right now. First of all, yes, it is harder to get shoes in a size 13. Stores don't carry them as often and second

I'm on mine, but it's do it. I can't test them see if they're comfortable Like four yeah different ones and then send the ones back that don't work He was pulling this shit that he couldn't even get like magic a magic card cardboard box last week I can't they're sold out. I found it on Amazon like two seconds. Yeah, you can't get BCW 1600s I get a BCW 1600s. I tried. A BBW? I wish I could get a BBW 1600s. But then she'd be dead, I assume.

Look, the thing is, I have big feet. They wear out the shoes quicker, because there's more foot per shoe, okay, than the average person. It's a cope. And it's hard to find shoes that are comfortable for me and my giant feet. Why don't you go to the Big and Tall store? Yeah. Do they still have those?

I don't even know where you find them. Oh, they do, buddy. It's called Walmart. Yeah. Go check it out. Honestly, yeah, Walmart's where it is. Or DSW. Is DSW considered a Big and Tall?

No, but they have all kinds of sizes. Everything's Big and Tall. I go to like, not Marshalls. What's the one? Burlington Coat Factory. What? What's wrong with Burlington Coat Factory? They're more than great coats.

They're like a TJ Maxx or a Marshalls. Hey man, I was in Massachusetts, I was right across the border from Burlington Coat- from the original Burlington Coat Factory in Burlington, Vermont. Well no wonder, because sometimes it's a hodgepodge at those stores. They don't have recites. I have brand loyalty to the people of Burlington. So you can only get your shoes there? I'm just saying- can only get your shoes there

You gotta get it you gotta get it you do it My house I have newer shoes, and I prefer to wear these they're more comfortable you guys throw them away Yeah, I don't want to see these shoes ever again I'm gonna be it's gonna start coming through the bottom. I've had that with shoes before again Fred Flintstone you can get before again. You're not Fred Flintstone! You can get decent shoes! We were having this discussion and I think you know what it is it's a my biggest problem is that I prioritize my comfort over everyone else's. This can't be comfortable though what you're doing. This is laziness. This is laziness. Laziness is comfort. I like how is that not comfortable? It is very comfortable to be lazy. It's comfortable to wear shoes, dilapidated shoes with the canvas hide half in the side,

and the other half frayed cotton with no socks. That's comfortable to you? I feel great. I don't believe you. I bought this stupid shirt at the fucking thrift store today. Did you wash it? It was already, they wash it before they put it on the rack. They put an unwashed thrift store shirt on.

They wash it before it goes on the rack! I don't know that that's true! Yes they do. No it's not- do they have a bunch of fucking washing machines at Goodwill? They're not gonna- it's not a good- No! I don't know how they do that. Bro, if they didn't do that then all those clothes on the rack would be disgusting!

They are. No they aren't. Have you ever smelled a Goodwill? This one had a tag on it this is a like a tag from the store this is a never worn before shirt okay I don't believe it let's meet let me see the tag the tag I ripped off you didn't rip it off he's lying I didn't leave my turn it yeah this is it to a different place to wash it all. No they don't, they ship, they move it straight out

into the front of the store. No, no, because then somebody would get chiggers and they'd fucking die and then they'd get, they gotta wash that stuff. What are they gonna do? What are they gonna go to Dos Dos Dos Abogados and say I got chiggers from Goodwill? I think they have to wash it.

I bet those shoes have chiggers in them. The shoes probably have chiggers, but this, the shirt. Chigger please. What are we talking about now? Doing the Anthony Kumio radio show we're trying out to become his co-hosts Can I send you some shoes you can send me some shoes? He'll resell on his what-not channel I think you're lying about the size 13. I think The same size is mine. That's a 13 right there Well, I don't know where size 13 shoes my whole life,

so I don't fucking know. Are you sure they're not just swollen? Maybe you got gout. No, maybe you're in Burlington sizes, which might not be. You know what, I'm running on Burlington sizes. Canadian size. Well, you see. I mean, my biggest problem is now Vito's footwear situation.

Vito's disgusting worn out shoes. What is your problem, Chrissy? Lately, it's been Bill Burr. I really feel like he used to be funny and edgy. And now he's just turning into a bald Howard Stern. He was just on The View today. Because he's trying to appear like an everyman, like he's apolitical, like he makes fun of both the right and the left and like he doesn't

He's just a liberal twat and now the fact that he's on the view It's like I saw him on the view and that he's getting applause from if I got an applause from of the view audience I would just kill myself. It's horrible Do you remember when norm went on the view and they hated him? Yeah, do you remember why they hated him? He kept saying Clinton was a murderer. Yes And they kept going stop stop can't say that on TV and he's like I just thought it was a matter of public record The dumbest view host at the time was like wait, I haven't heard of this He's like you haven't heard that Clinton killed a guy? And then they're like, shut up, shut up. Stop engaging with him.

That's great. Good for him. Barbara Walters tried to be his mom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because their question was like, now you voted for Bush, right? He's like, yeah. And he goes, why is that? He's like, I just think we should get the murderers out

of the White House. Ah, that's great. And then they had to cut to commercial very soon after that. It was very surprising. Did you see Bill Burr said, said like Elon Musk can't get laid? Yeah, I was talking about, he's got like four baby moms. Of course he can get laid. And they're all hot, like famous women.

And like even if he uses surrogates or whatever, but Petri dishes, it's like he's a almost trillionaire. He can get mad chicks. Yeah, and Bill Burr's wife's disgusting. Disgusting and they have a baby that is not even his. So he should not be talking about it. I hear about all these women getting surrogated by Elon Musk. And I'm so jealous.

I'm like, if I could just have an Elon Musk baby, I'd be so happy. He has the same breeding fetish as Elon Musk. Really? Vito does, except he doesn't have any money to do it. Yeah. Well, that should be a motivation for you then. You know what?

You can't be, you're not gonna be able to be a breeder if you don't get new shoes. I could be a breeder, it's just like a lot of management. You know, that's the first thing women look at, your shoes. Yeah, it is. That's not what they look at. It's true. Yes it is, it is.

Women like dating a giant toddler because it makes them feel like they're able to run their, you know, like, oh, I'm gonna fix him. You gotta get changed. You gotta be broken for women who wanna fix you. Women wanna break bad boys. They don't wanna break disgusting boys. They go, I can get him to clean his room.

Yeah, no. Here's the thing, women look at a man and they look for a kind of visual red flag, something that tells them that if, like, this might not be true, but a woman looks at your feet in your footwear situation, they go, oh, maybe he doesn't take care of his dick, because that's what it, like, when you see a woman with bad feet or bad pedicure or icky, you're like, oh, she probably doesn't take care of her puss, because the outside reflects the inside, and if you're

put together, you're like, oh, okay. But there was a period of time where yes I was trying to like you know date or whatever and I probably did clean up, but now I'm in like who gives a shit mode It's about to be summer you should you should try You know I've had some girls come over whatever it doesn't matter. What do they say about your footwear? They don't say anything they just leave they leave horrified They go I've made a horrible mistake They slide out like the Brontosaurus and Fred leaves You didn't do it?

Get out of here on an avalanche of toys I think they accept it Say that again all that part about what hooking up with girls What was that? What hooking up with girls? Okay, and ladies human ladies, you know, yeah we chat on the internet They go where's your washing machine like a where's the washing machine? I don't have a lot. He thinks I have to have a washing machine in my house

You have to have a washing machine why cuz if you have a house, I mean do you have room for washing? Okay, it's not a house and he's gonna do with the hook up that anyway One of the hookups is for my portable dishwasher, so I use it for that. Oh, okay. You get to bring your own dishwasher into your house? There's not room for a dishwasher too. I couldn't have that and a fucking washer dryer. So you take your stuff to the laundry? I don't have that big a place, man. I have a laundry service, which he thinks is absurd.

Oh, boogey. You have a boogey laundry service, but no shoes? It's not boogey. I got in that crazy. A guy in a van picks up the fucking shirts. And you're a writer. So you could just take it to the laundromat and sit around and write. I don't want to write in a laundromat.

I don't want to put all that shit in my car. I don't want to write in a laundromat. I don't want to be a pirate. Well, what were we talking about? Yeah, I have a little dishwasher. It's nice. Also, my current biggest problem is I have a clogged duct in my boob. It's killing me. A clogged duct.

Yeah, I'm trying to not like rub my boob on your podcast, but it like you're doing like a Molly Shannon thing. It really hurts. It's this happens every time I like go away from the baby for like a day or two. What is it? So how does it get clogged? Is this like a lack or two. What is it clogged? So how does it get clogged? Is this like a... From lack of use. Lack of pumping? Yeah, I mean I've been pumping.

So it's just clogged with milk? Yep, yeah. And I have to like put heat on it. Well I don't know if it's like, is it like a curd is like generating in there or something? No, no, yeah maybe it's just like, I guess it's just like temporarily plugged up. I thought it was little Pac-Man cheeses.

Pops right out. It's the cow cheese. So Frank's home with the kid? Yeah. Does he have a milking strap on those shop teacher's tits? I pumped 13 bottles before I left, because I wanted to make sure they was more than enough. Yeah.

Yeah. So I was pumping for weeks, getting ready for this trip. How old's the kid right now? 11 months. He's so cute. I love him. What's his name? Frankie.

His name's Frankie. That's cute. Do you wanna watch the Bill Burr thing? Yeah, I wanted to know. So Bill Burr, I'm trying to remember. He hasn't evolved since 2015 or 2014. Well, I'm trying to remember why I liked Bill Burr. What was he doing that was so funny? He was in everyone's face, he was calling them out.

He was standing, he was shouting at that person. I think his stand up was okay, but I can't remember any of it face. He was calling them out. You know you'd stand I think it was okay, but I can't remember any of it now. He's had a lot of attitude I mean Oh, why can't you wear some shoes? Oh? That's what you have to wear shoes all the time. Oh, well you want me to if I can choose everybody a What's the bullpup voice? I don't see a body eh? Wait what's the pulper voice? OH GOD OH OH OH GOD FORBID I uh

I have sex with my wife who hates me not really good I got a black wife here I should put BLM, black lady master base look at this black lady I'm married to here I said my wife gave Trump the finger

what do you want me to do? Everyone expressed themselves that day. I don't let Anthony Cooamia come to my shows because he makes fun of my black wife. Yeah. Okay, here he is. I don't know, it's a weird time, but I just feel like someone needs to bring

the boiling water down to a simmer, and everybody on both sides, like if you watch CNN, Fox, you go online, or you listen to politicians, it's all ah, and then you walk out on the street, someone's like, hey, how go online. Or you listen to politicians, it's all, ah! And then you walk out on the street, someone's like, hey, how you doing? You're like, good. So I don't think they're living in a reality. But is there any particular, anybody getting your ire up these days more than usual?

Nerds. The nerds that own the politician. All these tech nerds that want to build robots because they don't know how to talk to hot women, they're going to take over the world. A bunch of fat women applauding him. He's playing with the crowd. He's playing with the crowd. That's why no one's talking to us. I think Elon has got the rockets going because they realize there's other earths out there

and they're going to trash this one, because they don't have any concern for it, and they're going to move on to the next Earth. What the fuck is this? What is he even saying? He has no clue what he's saying. Wait a minute, I was on your side, and they're just going to leave.

Well, you were talking about death in your set. Do they not realize that they're going to die, these people? They don't realize that they're mentally ill. What the fuck show is this? What is he saying? They always talk about a wrathful God, and he'll send send you to hell and it's like none of you guys are operating Like you fear this the way you run your religion I don't understand any of that. I'm just trying to be like chill

Somebody holds the door. Hey, thank you He said nothing like he was like a lot of words, but he actually like- These guys gotta bring the temperature down. He's trying so hard to not seem like he's on the left or right that he actually fucking says nothing. He comes off like he has no opinions. Well, part of the problem is that Bill Burr is getting those Disney paychecks these days. So he's been on that Star Wars show. You seen that? He got that Mandalorian money. He's hanging out with Baby Yoda. Paychecks these days. So he's been on that Star Wars show you seen that?

Baby Yoda Stacey Abrams on it President Star Trek did that Oh Stacey Abrams was the president of the future. Oh the Yoda one. Don't Yeah, all that Star Wars great Mandalorian and and they fired Gina Carano fucked up and everything Gina Carano would have saved it and now she's stuck at the daily wire, which is falling apart Oh wait, she's not even there cuz nothing they fired Jeremy boring. She's suing Disney. Yeah, that's true. Did you ever? When you talk to Adam, I think they're going into discovery is Adam doing another season of mr. Birch and would you talk about that?

Adam Corolla. Oh, no we didn't. You didn't ask if you watched Mr. Bircham? What would you have said if you said what's your favorite part of Mr. Bircham? I think I watched like the first episode and that was it. So the first episode. And you said this is too good I gotta save the rest. Because it's just too good. So long ago when it first came out.

Yeah and then it kind of fell out and you forgot that you were going to watch the rest of it. I have a Daily Wire member. So I could watch it. What? What do you watch there? I mostly listen to, they have like a morning podcast and I really like it because it's like 10, 15 minutes long. And I put it out and I'm like putting makeup on

or showering, whatever. It's just like a quick like what's going on in the news kind of thing. How much is a Daily Wire subscription? I don't know, maybe like 100 bucks for a year or something. Like texts when like anti-Semitism is breaking out? No! Like, safety.

Alerts. In cases around you. Ben Shapiro on your phone. Like a map. I just needed you guys to know that Israel still needs your support. Uh, it's the most important thing in the world. A loss outbreak. Down the street from you.

Yeah, apparently Daily Wire is in trouble because they just fired Jeremy Boring. I think they must be bleeding money like crazy. They fired him or they... I think they must have fired him. Because his projects have not been making money. They thought maybe Tim Pool was going to try and buy it. That was a rumor. I don't know where I heard that. I thought they... Didn't they pay Tim Pool to like be on there? Or did they pay... Didn't Daily Wire just acquire Tim Pool as like a... No, that's a rumor.

Oh, okay. I thought that was real. As a filthy rumor. Have you seen Jeremy Boring on the set of his taking all of these people's money to make his Game of Thrones rip off? Oh, yeah? Yeah. No, I haven't seen that. What is that? Jeremy Boring is filming. There's some, like, historical Camelot series. I forget the name of it. It's like a bunch of books.

And he basically said, I want to make Game of Thrones I'm gonna take all our money and make Game of Thrones Well, that's dumb. Yeah, dude, and they've been putting out these production diaries and there's like the same shit is like HBO There's like a hundred guys on horses and like a giant fucking arena. They built and I'm like, oh man They're gonna lose so much fucking money on this I cannot imagine that the daily wire making Game of Thrones is gonna work out for them No, it's not I really want to see it, but I'm like I can't imagine this is gonna be good Jeremy Boring's just there with his headphones on he's like yeah. Yeah, this is good. This is great. This is good This is gonna be good like all those investors thought their money was gonna save Israel not fund your

Attempts at playing Hollywood did Lady Ballers make a lot of money we think did you see the lady ballers at least? Yeah, yeah, what was your favorite part of Lady Ballers make a lot of money, we think? Did you see Lady Ballers, Elise? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. What was your favorite part of Lady Ballers? Tyler Fisher. Oh, he's the comedian. Is that one of the Lady Ballers? Yeah.

Yeah. He's the only comedian in that movie. But wait, Matt Walsh did such a great job as Hippie Guy or whatever. And he also, I really liked What Is a Woman. I haven't seen, didn't you watch What Is a Woman? And you told me it was, like, interesting. It is.

It's pretty good was it was interesting because It's interesting to see Someone who's not a comedian Use that material comedy movie. Yeah and have like all these setups and then not you It's like watching a guy go into like a And not deliver on them 100%? It's like watching a guy go into a wood shop. And he doesn't know how to use anything. Grab the hammer and just starts going.

Yeah, he's like, let's take this hammer. Maybe we'll just swing it. A lot of missed opportunities for funny. This is warm up for doing woodwork? Yeah. All right. And then this thing is for, I, I don't know it's for sure Baron Cohen of the right they don't have one

closest they've gotten is What do you call it my good friend? at the blaze Alex Stein Alex Stein's fun. Yeah, he probably is closest thing. He's the closest. I'm really enjoying Ben Bank's his videos when he there's a I made them pull this up on Tim Puella hat yesterday when I did it But he'll do these videos where he's like doing a voiceover like the Chinese mayor or whatever and it's just so racist But so fucking funny. Yeah, we were talking about that the guy who just does the mayor of Canada. Yeah The one in the library. That Yeah, yeah Oh my god, dude

My feet I went are we allowed to do this now? Library and I'm like Because here's the things they took that away from have you seen this uncle Roger guy Who's actually got like restaurants now? And he's like an Asian guy doing an impression of a racist stereotype of an Asian guy. No, I haven't seen that. He's a guy and he goes,

Uncle Roger is going to show you how to cook a fry rice. But then you hear his normal voice, he's just like, yeah, well, when I came up with the Uncle Roger character, I'm like, wait, what the fuck? You're doing Asian face and you are Asian? Why is he allowed to do it? I can't do it. But can do it. I was so jealous. We've been doing it for years I don't know why he says that. But here's the thing that guy's making millions of dollars in opening restaurants based on the fact that it's like a shitty Asian voice

like stereotype is fine to me and I'm like dude he's cashing in on that that's fucking crazy because Cause everybody loves it! If he can do the voice, you know he gets the food. Dude, all the Asians pretend they hate it, but then that guy shows up and does it, he goes, Uncle Rod's gonna show you how to make- Do they really though?

That's the thing, they must love it, cause they're giving him all this money, he's got like his own fucking brand of like, frozen dumplings and shit now. And he does it lovingly. Yeah. Yeah. Well that's the thing, they go, well it's endearing, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it's funny.

It's a bamboozled type situation. Cause if you're an Asian, there's always like, well that's the thing they go well. It's endearing. You know yeah, it's funny. It's a bamboozled type situation You're an Asian. There's always like well that guy's like more talk you doing an impression of that Yeah, yeah, but if an Asian guy does it. Asians are too smart and productive to be offended by Stereotypes and things like that. I don't know I think they don't let that space them I was just jealous Yeah, I was like I can do an excellent Asian guy voice But I can't monetize it the way uncle Roger does cuz it's not allowed but now things are changing well Anthony Cunha is on the radio I don't know if you could do a bunch of restaurants with an offensive Asian

I think I could I think would be if you came in and there was a big fat Italian guy goes Oh, welcome to super fried chicken number one. I make your poor fried I just shaved and put like a little Yeah, could you get me some shoes? I will Andy Rooney I will get the big fucking glasses and the Andy Rooney buck teeth and I go oh hello and welcome to my restaurant That would be good It's a very good

Do it I will make you a fried neuter Start a brand new YouTube page with this character Yeah Where is sumo diaper? Even Shane Gillis knew it was funny and he got kicked out of SNL for doing an Asian guy voice. But now it's back! It is back.

It is back. Okay. Um... My problem is male feminists. I'm gonna say... Here they are. I'm surprised that one never made the board before this. You know, I didn't check.

Um... This is uh... This is the male feminists of the day here. I don't- where is the right here? Harry uh- Sisson? Sisson. Oh, what a f- No, we love Harry Sisson.

I think we can all agree- Our guy fighting for the left. That there's nothing worse than leading women on- Yeah, a whore hole. Wasting their time- What a monster. Marrying them. Yeah. Leading them on. And wasting their time. What a monster. Marrying them.

Yeah. Leading them on. Leading them on. You know, they've only got a couple of years before. Before it all falls apart. Before they hit the wall and the eggs dry up. Right. So him doing this is basically, I mean, it's a type of assault.

It's horrible. I don't want to say rape, but you, but people are saying that it's akin to. So Harry Sisson is, he's like a democratic. He's a gay. Influencer. Democrat influencer. Look at this filth that he's texting this woman. What?

Oh my God. I'd fuck you raw after wine tasting, but that's just me. Ew, Gen Z has no game. It's not a good. This is a male feminist. Maybe prior to this, maybe it's a callback that makes just me. Eww, Gen Z has no game. It's not a good- This is a male feminist. Maybe prior to this, maybe it's a callback that makes more sense. Plus, they're drying up across the country with this sort of comment.

Hey, hey, hey, it worked though. That's the problem. It worked. But did it? She sent him nudes. That's what they're all mad about. Look at the kind of wholesome pictures she's sending him. I know, what the fuck is this? You can tell by these pictures that this woman does not want to be fucked raw after wine ladies You can send me one maybe two photos of you at the pumpkin patch after that. It's either nude

Is this a wine taste it off? It must be an autumnal display or must be that time like she went to a pumpkin patch. Yeah, yeah Hey, sugar ladies love a good good pumpkin pen. He sent this to 11 different women, male feminists obviously. He sent this exact message to 11 different ladies. Like a serial abuser of women. A fuckboy is what they call them. It's a fuckboy. This is a man who messages a lot of women on social media platforms.

And pretends that they don't. And doesn't fuck any of them well you know he could disgusting yeah well that is the absolutely depraved what he's doing right now Harry Sisson is being well here's here's what's happening for those of you don't know Harry Sisson is again using women a democratic influencer obviously Republicans disagree with him and dislike him so this Republican influencer this whatever name is Sarah

Guffenstein has gone out and said we is trying to now cancel him one of the one of his victims was a domestic survivor Which women is not as domestic violence survivor at this point, okay? I'm sure Frank once a while goes, shhh, shut up you Shut up you That's why you gotta have the baby cuz then you go you can't do that anymore. I got the baby He goes, ahhh Sandwich So yeah, what he was messaging women attempting to solicit nudes like like a horrible monster

For those of you don't know this tweet has almost 20,000 retweets and six what is it 65,000 likes Here's the thing is a lot of people seem to be responding this going to wait What happened because you're making it sound like you raped a woman It's close. It's close. This is basically rape is what I'm hearing right now. Actually. Chrissy, isn't this worse than rape? But look at who's doing it. Look at who's doing it.

It's not worse, but it is bad. All right, we're gonna hear from a victim here. This is a victim. Yeah, yeah. She was in such a hurry, she could barely put her shirt on. I've been trying to figure out how I want to word a video regarding this. Okay.

I mean, isn't she screams abuse victim? Yeah, clearly the guy just tore her shirt and ran away before this video. That's a survivor right there. Yeah, this is a survivor. She's really good at surviving. I've never been the woman that has called out behavior like this. I've never been one of these people. And if you have been, fucking props to you.

Because I don't think I need to end. Get to the point. How genuinely. Is the point just endless cock tease of us? Why would you wear this when saying something horrible and sexual happened to you? It's a titillate and entice you. It's like a tarp. Because it's bragging for them.

I really... Send me how you stop having fucking heart palpitations. I've been trying to- This is the left's problem in a nutshell is they'll get like a drag queen on stage like dancing on a pole and shaking their dick and being like I am a sexual abuse victim and you're like like, no, you're fucking dancing naked. Like, what do you want? This is- You engaged with this shit.

This is what they want. They want everything to be a perverse twist on being normal. This guy is, I'm a male feminist. All right, can I see your tits? Well, you just abused me. Now, I'm gonna parade you around the city. The responses to this are what's crazy,

because it's a bunch of other male feminists going, and this is why our party doesn't seem welcoming to straight men. It's like, no, no, no, no, you guys are insane. That's why. Everything that you do and think and say is a perversion of what's natural and normal. Everything, all of it, The incentives, the economy, and

the way men and women interact and are supposed to see each other. It's all wrong. And this is the actually- Well, but here's what's brilliant about it, is that the right sees this and knows. They're like, oh man, it's so easy to beat these guys. You just go, hey, one of those women was a domestic abuse survivor, and all the left just go, oh my god. And you guys are just fucking laughing, dude. When Al Franken, the senator, they found an old photo of him. He was on a USO tour.

The girl was passed out. And in the photo, he's like putting his hands up like this, like not only this, going and then not touching at all. And they went, well, that's basically rape right there. He can't be a senator anymore. He's encouraging it. That's not they went well, that's basically rape right there. Yeah, you can't be a senator anymore He's not allowed. Yeah, oh, that's a that's horrible behavior. I'm like, he's one of your best guys He's like one of the only guys all these leftist fucking psychopaths, man I was reading the story the left is bad and run in governments, huh?

Cuz they're yeah. Yes. What do you did you ever hear about Chicago selling all the parking meters? Have you heard that story? Yeah, they sold their debt or something? Back in like the 2000s because they can't think straight and they're all idiots and they can't read a bill. Well it was 2008 so the economy was like in the shitter. The economy was in the shitter but they're like let's give the United Arab Emirates all our parking meters for the next 100 years. And they got like, I think it was like maybe like 500 no it was like 200 million dollars

Yeah, and they're saying dude right now they they generate 250 million per year on those parking meters Wow, it's the same shit where you just go anybody with a because the reason is not paid when leftists are in government Anyone who's a smart leftist who goes hey you guys are kind of being nuts. They just go get this guy out of here We only want psychopaths and weirdos to run everything look at this look at this creepy male feminist Look at the face he's smiling like a like a dog that stole some food out of the garbage that yeah, that's not cute at all God damn it This is rape he's a smiling these girls. Why do women go for this? This is rape.

He's smiling, he's sending little flirty messages. Look at this. Uh oh. I never lied to you. We were not exclusive. And I made it abundantly clear I didn't want that and you said that was fine. Male feminists would say that. A regular man would just say, damn it.

So all these women thought they were in an exclusive sexting relationship With this random 20 year old they found online. No, they're lying to right. They're also texting 11 people. Yeah Yeah, why would they not cuz they'll any chance to like cancel a guy? It's like oh, it's a girl. I'm texting a couple girls here and there. I'll just send them a go Hey, what's going on tits McGee? You know, and then I You want to come over and like my magic shower like that? No, I don't do that. I have a very strict I have a very strict no sex selfie any of that rule. I think anybody who does that is fucking insane Yeah, it's a good rule after destiny decided to film himself sucking dick. I was like, that's a good example Why don't you and now millions of dollars for sucking dick? He like that's a good example why you don't do it. And now he's getting sued for millions of dollars for sucking dick.

He's not a male feminist is he? Destiny? I'm sure if you asked him if he's a feminist he would probably say yes. That would be disappointing. But he would say he's a more classical feminist in the way we're like well. Of all the things Destiny's done that would be the most disappointing. I don't know he did have a base take on this though he did say oh my god what is you know what are you leftist psychopaths doing? Oh domestic violence survivor? He sexted a domestic violence survivor It's like it's like she's been victimized all over again. It is though. It is yeah It's like how they can't tell these women all these lies about male feminism and then fuck them over like this That's cruel that Neil Gaiman story is very interesting

Yeah, because the same the ladies going oh my god He victimized me, whatever. And then there's all these text messages between them, and she's like, I love the way you fucked my brains out. I'm like, well, that kind of sounds like you were into it. Like, what's going on? Yeah, but now she's not getting money. Wow, so she's not getting money.

That was done under the- They all want the money. Well... I don't know. Oh, okay, at least. I haven't heard from that- I haven't heard from my trans admirer in a while provided a long detailed video Yeah, they really want to move in with me and be my fuck toy made apparently I keep saying from an actual woman. I go that's so kind. Thank you so much for your support

I'm not doing that Like a week long basis not permanently. I'm like well motherfucker You gonna pay rent? They're like no I'm not gonna pay rent. Sarah he fucking pushed you and dragged you. That's not okay Yeah this morning he said the worst part about last night was him putting his hands on me So he's obviously beating her. He pushed you and dragged you. You're literally not overreacting at all Do not do that so you can find the good in him. He literally can't. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

This is not about him. This is about her ex. Okay. Oh, it is? They're posting DMs that she had about her ex abusing her and saying, Harry had her sexed him after this happened to her. Yeah, that's fine though,

because I have to pay for shit that happened to black people 400 years ago. This is the most manipulative shit. They're posting texts from her being abused by a different guy and going, how could he ask her for nudes after this? He wouldn't know this shit was going on. How the fuck would he? Yeah, but he should. That's his whole platform.

You can't be a male feminist and just say, well, it doesn't matter what happened before me. Look, he says, how is this more of Harry's lies? I can't do exclusivity. Since we live in different states, exclusivity would be hard. He says I'm not balancing a bunch of girls at once, my mind and energy are just other places right now.

Okay, sure. He doesn't want to tell you, yeah, I'm sexting with 12 other girls. Why would you want to hear that anyway? Because women are equal and deserve to, they can think logically. He's such a liar. Right? Isn't that your whole deal, Harry?

Well. He's so full of shit, I don't have much more to give than why are you on any dating app? It doesn't matter, because he wants to see naked women! That's why he's on the dating app! That's the only reason! He's like 22 years old, he's got a big throbbing boner in his pants, and also he needs a beard because everybody knows he's actually gay.

So he needs to, you know, occasionally at some point... This is the worst part. Male feminists. He took this... Well, that's the thing. He posted this photo. He let his photo... ...plown on all his side chicks. All his side chicks got mad. He's such a gay-looking face. He's definitely... He does have a gay-looking face.

I'm glad you said that, Chrissy. He's also chasing down these Harry Potter-looking girls, so... I know. He's got a type. They're all Hufflepuffs. He's Hufflepuff in his way through Snapchat. He is such a Hufflepuff. 100% of sexual assaults are committed by male feminists or closeted male feminists.

Did you know that? I like that you pointed out the words on the paper because you clearly read it out. I wrote the stats down. Now you got the stats there. that's how you always read stats is I read you helped yeah thank you for that 40% of men said that they're say that they're male feminists 40% of men say they're according to the Pew survey okay don't you think that's a little like a lie that's high there's just no way that for I have to specify they're male feminists. Can't they just be feminists? That's what well Yeah, that's what they said. Are you a feminist?

Yeah, they didn't say I'm a male feminist cuz that would make no sense Well, I kind of would I mean I did it does seem like yeah, maybe there's a difference There's just no way that 40% of men are like are committing Yeah, I totally like 10% of the sex I care about what happens to women all day Like are you serious 40%? I will hit maybe for I don't Was treated as a catch-all term for yes, I think women I want to see news Yeah, we was treated as a catch-all term for yes, I think women I want to see new That is a part of it and we'll say whatever they have to say to get nudes

Yeah, who was giving the survey? I would like to know a guy. That's the thing if a lady's asking it then you go Absolutely. Oh, yeah When asked by a fee, you know what? What are you doing? We should do that we should go out on the street have one of those booths and ask people see it when a lady Asks a guy are you a feminist how much more often they go? Yeah, of course have like a big buff guy It's like what do you think of Hitler? I don't know tell me to stop when I get too into this two away from I don't know. Tell me to stop when I get too away from disagree. How about a huge jacked black guy and he goes,

what do you think about the death of George Floyd? Ah, you know, it's a tragedy. Just can't believe that happened there. Male feminists. Male feminists, guys. You're out there abusing women, looking gay. That's their thing, man. Yeah, it's sad.

No, no, Harry's just trying to get- You're not a feminist are you? Would you say you're a feminist? Are you one of these and one of these 40? I think you might be. I don't know what a feminist is at this point. I think that you mean you are. I'm definitely not a feminist you know I hate women. Yeah that's true. I'm terrible towards women. That checks out. Thank you. Guys biggestproblem.show you vote on all the problems. Don't forget to check out our Patreon at patreon.com slash biggest problem. And of course, I want to thank our great guest, Chrissy Mayer.

Chrissy, where do we find you? Thanks for having me, guys. Chrissymayer.com. I'll be in Fort Wayne, Indiana next weekend, March 29. And then I got dates coming up. Long Island, Ohio, Westchester, other places, Hartford. Ooh, Hartford, Connecticut.

Hartford, Connecticut with Jimmy Dore April 1st. Should have stopped in and get a, what's that burger restaurant they have? You know the original hamburger was created in Hartford, Connecticut? Really? Yeah, so there's a- McDonald's? No, they're, that's not the original hamburger.

No, there's a restaurant that makes hamburgers they look terrible but people say they're good original hamburger It's just like putting because the original hamburger. That's what they say They got they have a super duper weenie in Connecticut They have this like the 1910s fucking iron maiden looking thing that they put the burgers into cook them that they're the only people who Have this what's a super weenie super duper weenieie, it was near where I went to college in Fairfield, Connecticut. It's just like a hot dog spot. Oh, it's a hot dog. I used to go to drive through Hartford all the time.

Are you doing any shows out here in LA? No, this was just for podcasts and Adam Carolla. Well, I was gonna say, when can we hear you on Adam Carolla? Will that be up this week? I think it comes out Monday. Monday, we'll be able to hear you. Is that a free show or did you put that up? That's a good question.

He has a sub stack which probably gets it early. A sub stack? Wow. Yeah for his early members and then I think it should be on YouTube. Okay. So check it out on YouTube or I'm sure AdamCarolla.com.net something like that. And a lot of tour dates coming up. My Hartford boys will be heading out to see Chrissy and me.

Okay, Chrissy, we won't be offended if you have to leave during the Super Chats, but of course we would love it. No, I'm okay. I'm just gonna be holding my boob. Do you need to do something or take something or express something? Express yourself.

I could. Do they have like a, I can't think, do you just have a device that punches you really hard in the tits and like kind of knocks it out You probably do I mean if you want to go in the bathroom punch yourself in the tits. We're not gonna be upset Does that help? Maybe maybe My flights at I'm not looking forward to this flight. It's at 11 o'clock

It's not like a full red eye There's a layover, but like the big pressure gonna make it blow about you know You're gonna get a blowout on the plane. Yeah, what if it's like when you open a soda on a plane It's like you know my boobs could just explode your boobs can't chew gum sadly So I'm trying to think if there's anything else you could do Can you pop a boob when you pop yours on the on the plane? Oh like a pop it like a fucking implant like pop it like a spray people I'm sure somebody at the airport would enjoy that

I will have Chrissy's tits explode It's not my fault and we're gonna take your super chest now Stu K for two when life gives you lemons You eat them Baldr for two a coof use a coof Sucks with a you in the middle Straturgy for two nice. We're getting two episodes within two days because he thinks tomorrow we're gonna do another show. We're not. That's cute.

Stu K for two, glad to see a demolition expert on the show. LJ Clabrino for two, thank you for not aliving yourselves. LJ for another two says, Nat. Frank Lucas for five, PKA is considering an in-person pod but wants to make it a destination with plenty of activities. Convince them to come to LA for in-person, biggest problem. You know what, I've thought about

doing a live thing with PKA would be a lot of fun. A live show? Yeah. Yeah? We should talk to them, maybe we could. I don't know if they would wanna, do they wanna do a co-show? They're talking about they want to do a show

and I think they would. They know so many famous people though. Do they? I mean, they I mean they know, but like I don't know, I don't Yeah sure, I'm down I mean we don't know, but we like those guys and I know those guys like us So it's possible we could put something together Tang Tang for $16.99 New Zealand's

Money money to Fairby Thank you Milk and cream for five I said one comment on Eric Jalai's post and he took the time to brawl All of my Twitter accounts is a perversion and holy shit talk about a loose butthole Brits man for two glad we got Eric July bonus after all no more switcheroo's Barry McCaulkner for two Like he leg and knees Frog washing for two still waiting for the refund I sent refunds today, so you guys can all shut the fuck up.

Good job. Did you put a black shirt in the store? I didn't put a black shirt in the store. At this point it's kind of become fun. It's not become fun, I hate when people say that! I heard you complaining. We've had an out of stock shirt for like two years. It's not out of stock! It's in the ideal color.

Trucks me. One of Eric July's black malpropisms, instead of trust me, trucks me. People like the black Heather better than regular black. The comic truck from his comic. He's got a fun way of talking, Eric July. But it's out of stock, so no one can get it except me. No, it's not out of stock. It's in a different color. It's in a good color. What's the color? Send me a message.

Heather Black instead of black. Heather Black is good. It's not as good as black. Thank you. Heather Black is good. It's actually a little... Hey, Kristen, what do you think about this little guy? It's more a good color. What's the color? Send me a message. Heather black instead of black. Heather black is good. It's not as good as black. Heather black is good. It's not as good as black. Hey, Kristen, what do you think about this little guy? It's more interesting than black. What do you think about this little guy here?

It's so cute. Knowing about his socks, you still think that's cute? But you know, this should be accurate. The plushie should have his bare, stupid feet out. You should have bare-ass feet that are falling apart. This part's accurate. He's completely bald up top, so at least you get that under the hat.

Very good. Cute plushie. All right, let's see. Eric July, as in... Well, for a 10, Eason Egar for 10. How the hell is Eric gonna call your review a wall of text when he constantly makes posts that are five to seven paragraphs long, like some kind of Facebook boomer? Yeah, I don't know what he does all day besides edit and obsessively edit texts that are not about me or Ethan Vance Guyber

You pointed out that our bonus episode I think is right now at 18,000 views and his original video is at like 10,000 Yeah, cuz when he made it I'm like, why are you giving us free content? We're obviously gonna make a bunch of money and views off this. No one wants to watch you complaining Complaint. Cameron for two Vito talk about your sebum No, offbeat merch for seven Stoke for hackamania I don't want to watch you complaining. I'm complaining. Cameron for two, Vito talk about your sebum. No. Offbeat Merch for seven, Stoke for Hackamania, do you think you'd ever try to book a show at SawCon? I don't know what that is.

Suck on these nuts, that's what he's saying, suck on these nuts. I got it. I got it. I got your ass, Offbeat Merch. I fucking got your ass. I see it up there, that's pretty good. We will be at Hackamania this May in Las Vegas. Chrissy, you're not coming to Hackamania.

When is that? It's May 9th, I believe. It's going to be your good friend Carl from WATP. There's going to be Patrick Melton. Have you seen Carl this year? No. Oh, so you got room for Carl. I miss everybody.

You should come out to Vegas for Hackamania. It's going to be fun. The baby's still so little. I want to drag him out to that. Fairamania. It's gonna be fun. I'm gonna drag it out to that. Fair enough. Yeah, you got the kit. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna miss you guys. Well, you know what? You'll be able to watch it live by purchasing a disastrous stream pass. Now they'll figure it out this year.

Last year they were trying to, they were charging people to stream it and they just couldn't get it working. Our whole show we didn't have, our whole show didn't have audio. We were trying to play clips and it's like, ah, okay. This year it's gonna be a lot smoother, guys. TBF or two, question for Chrissy. How would you describe Vito's stench? Please tell me it's good for the love of God. Okay, not as bad as I thought. What do you mean not as bad?

Like, is it bad or is it not bad? You smell washed. Thank you. But you don't, I would like maybe a whiff of a body spray or some kind of a nice. OK. So you like something extra. A nice maybe scented deodorant.

I put on deodorant. Maybe it doesn't have the right scent. Is it unscented? Is it Vaseline? You're not unwashed. It's like Old Spice. I use the Old Spice. Is the Old Spice spray good or no?

Maybe I didn't put enough on. It's been hot today. Maybe we wore off. But the foot situation kind of cancels it out. The foot situation... You already got a guy. I don't got to woo you. I'll put on shoes for a... You have to woo someone though. It's cumulative. I trick these women into a relationship.

And by the time they notice the feet, they're already trapped. So I'll be fine. There could be a woman listening to this pod and be like, hey, maybe Vito. And then, oh, shoeless, never, feet out. They're supposed to want to trick you. Yes. They do.

You've got it backwards. Why don't you change your name to feet out, Jiswaldy. Feet out, feet out, Jiswaldy. Feet out. I like being barefoot. Feet out. I take walks around my neighborhood barefoot. Barefoot?

That's disgusting. You're going to get ringworm, bro. It is bad. Sometimes I see those giant LA roaches, and I go eee. Oh, fuck that. You walk around barefoot? Yeah. No, this story gets worse and worse.

I was going for a walk. That's good. I like walking around barefoot. It feels good. You do need those stupid shoes. You need the foot shoes. With the split toes. You know what good. You do need those stupid shoes. Shoes with the split toes. You know what I need? I need special insoles.

Get some orthotics. I have fucked up feet. So I actually should go to a foot bath. You need to lose weight to your health. My feet are still fucked up though. Do you have plantar fasciitis? No, I have that thing where you don't walk. When I walk, I don't walk on the whole foot.

It's a problem. What part do you walk on? You walk on the edge. I walk on the edge of my feet Uh-huh, so my whole foot doesn't make contact with the ground So I have to get special insoles to deal with that and I don't do it get the get the insoles get a wheelchair Then you could be that guy pushing back across the I already told you I did the motorized scooter for two days It was the most fun two days of my life. I was like I get it riding a scooter everywhere is obviously That's how shoes are supposed to look I have planes or for shyness from holding the baby while barefoot in the house

Hey, if you need to leave your socks here before you leave don't you know we have a place to put those So are you a foot person? Who's not a person at this point? It all makes sense your fear out You want to meet a woman with their feet on me? That's true, you know, I could take my that's why I woman with their feet on me. That's true You know I could take my that's why I'm all the way back here. That's what this is about You're a foot person, and then I could find a lady she goes on now I feel kind of no I feel everybody and yes getting their food. I want the girl to come over She goes oh, he's not wearing shoes. I guess I could take my shoes off as well and I go yeah

No, I've learned her into my world. Do you miss who drives with their feet up on the No, no. I'm too fat for that. Although, what would he call it? Tarantino, he had her doing that in the what do you call it? Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Yeah. You go, I wish I had that clout to just force women.

Fashionably unemployed for two, it's not Friday you pigma. Fashionably unemployed for two, pigma balls up with your tongue. Wow. Cameron for two. Vito's's Twitter Vito being Vito on Twitter offbeat March suck on these nuts ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Would be a bonus that pit that pisses that pisses me off, but seeing it free that doesn't pisses me. Oh, I'm glad we made it free as well Fantasize not even ads on it for some reason God forbid Yeah, two ads You don't need ad every five minutes. Yeah

Dickos already got the dream house. I don't need his ad money. I'm drowning in my little buy more toys with it No drowning in fucking 3d printed. Maybe he wants to use the money to get new shoes everything I'm 3d printing looks good. Can I 3d print shoes now? Now? That's an idea This man designed his own cardboard shoes. He was all excited about him So he's got no fucking place to talk shoes extra. I wore socks with them fucking place to die. Extra shoes. Extra shoes. I wore socks with them. Finache for five. Infinity shoes. Biggest problem is, Hutch not asking people to stop terrorism the moment they burned Elon's cars. I need the innocent explanation. We also need someone to tell us we've heard a rumor about a certain podcast committing tax evasion. If you have information

about that, please let us know. No, I didn't see that. Are you aware of Keno Casino? I am aware. So they had been having that DSP guy on their streams and all their DSP leaked all the DMs and supposedly, we have not confirmed this, the DMs may confirm that these guys are not paying taxes, which is really bad. Again though, this is a rumor, I have not seen the DMs, maybe next episode we'll have those. Strategy for two, imagine being one day early and one minute late. Diamond G for two, Olympus has fallen.

Defend the battlefront. Diamond G for two, battlefront. These nuts falling in your mouth. I like how stupid they're getting. Psychonautical lady nines. They're getting more elaborate and barely working. I love it. For 20, hey, Dick and Vito, great show.

Per usian, you look fit, Dick. Vito, change. I want toian, you look fit Dick, Vito change. I wanna see either of you on the Right Now podcast with John Globbyclon. Globaclon. Globaclon, oh that's a real guy? I have no idea. Globaclon, he's in LA.

John Goblin. Gob, Gob, Gob, Gobl- John Goblin's a cool name. Goblican. I think you'd be funny as hell. Well tell him. Yeah, tell him to have us on. Psychonautical. Well he'd love to go on his show.

Tell him that you're gonna kill himself unless he has a song or show. I have not been making podcast appearances. LJClobberinum for two. I got a new highest BPM of 143 in Jerkmate ranked. Try not to come. You can't. 143?

That's not that high for jerking off, I don't think. For BPM? Yeah. I don't know. What's a BPM? I could get that shit up to heartbeats per minute. I could get that shit up to 190. You know your heart rate when you're jerking off? You don't know. I could get that shit up to heartbeats per minute. I could get that shit up to 190. You know your heart rate when you're jerking off?

You don't? All guys do. Yeah. You got an app. You put on the band. We used to time it, but they got a band now. Frank doesn't have the band? He does, but he's embarrassed. The band is like an Apple watch? Yeah, it's like an Apple watch.

It's like a black... I don't have time to masturbate anymore. Haven't in a long time. It's like those balance bands, but it's got like a QR, not a QR. What is it? NFT? No. NFC? The Near Field Chip?

Yeah. It's cool. It's fun. You should get on it. I'm a mom now. You're not allowed to jerk off? I don't have time. What am I going to do?

Jerk off with the baby right there? No! Is that not allowed? It's not allowed. I don't know. I'm gonna get in the suit bag if I need to do it with the babies around. You know the suit hanging up bag? I'm just gonna hide it there. So he can't get in. You can do it. You're the dad. You can go in another room. So the first time that you milk yourself, is it like...

Milk yourself? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, is it like oh my god I'm like I'm making milk right now. The first time I was in the hospital actually I was like I would have dreams about it. Really? I thought a lot about it. I had I would have breastfeeding dreams like even before I was pregnant It's just always something like. Cause you go your whole life dick. Yeah, cause you're like it's a thing that's never you've never had anything come out of your boobs. You've never made milk come out of your boobs your whole life. And you first, you have to do it as soon as you give birth.

You have to do the skin on skin, and you got a breastfeed as soon as possible. The first stuff that comes out is colostrum. It's like wheatgrass. There's a smaller amount of it, but it's very concentrated. And it's like chock full of chock full of. Is that good for the baby? Because it's like super concentrated. Baby's stomach when it's born is like tiny,

like the size of the top of your pinky or something, and then it grows like days, weeks later. But it just, not a lot is coming out because it's like the pipes are just starting to get going. So not a lot is coming out, but they don't need a lot at the beginning. And then your milk comes in like anywhere from like a couple days. Mine took like five days.

And then you have like lactation controls there. But now it's normal to you. Now you're like, yeah, milk's just the thing that comes out of me. Now it's normal. Yeah. It's so cool. It's the best.

Well, maybe you woke up one day and you just start pooping out your belly button. And you go, oh, well. Well, it's not poop. But I'm saying. It tastes like vanilla almond milk. I'm saying a part of your body, a hole in your body, had never before produced any sort of substance

And you know it's not just one hole It's like you have basically like 20 it comes 20 like not holes, but like it comes out in like a spray Oh Have you tried shooting it? It does shoot Yeah, like sometimes the baby is like the he'll be like playing with it Whatever and he'll or he'll grab it and he'll just shoot himself in the face. Because guys we will pee and like see how far our pee will go you know and girls never get to do that because you pee straight down. So I would imagine for you it's like oh finally I can shoot like a super soaker.

But I've never tried to shoot it to see how far it would go. Really? Never once? Not once? Not even in the shower? Oh you're not retarded you mean? Is that? No.

Not even in the shower you go like against the wall of the shower and then you try to see if you can hit the shower? Oh, you're not retarded, you mean? Is that? No. Not even in the shower? You go against the wall of the shower, and then you try to see if you can hit the wall? No, I'm just happy if I can get in a shower. Can you do that with your pee? Well, I already know I can do that with my pee. The question is, can I do it with my cum? And that's the challenge.

Can you cum across the room? Do you think everyone should have a bathroom door? Yes. Yeah. You don't have a bathroom door? I have a bathroom curtain. No. It's totally reasonable. Your foot and shoe situation really reflects your entire life. You know what? Doesn't it? It does. It's like I said, I prioritize my comfort over everything else. This is not a recipe for a woman being in your life. You don't walk on your whole foot! What are you talking about, Gunfort? Well, that's a different problem. If you build it, they will come. If you get new shoes, if you get a bathroom door, you'll get a woman.

I've had a woman. Stop it. This is a cult. It was terrible. I've had multiple women without penises. Don't be shoeless with a trans fan. And honestly, the ones with penises were way more fun. Get shoes and get a real woman. Vito, do you understand that nobody will back Superkiller 2? Fool me once, can't be fooled again.

You won't need to back it, because it will be in comic book stores and a nationally syndicated cartoon. And everybody right now is going to go, shit, I should have got in on that thing. Cameron for two, Vito superkilled all his support. Shoebox Kingdom for two, something something Vito, head scum TM. Utah based Armenian for five, everything will come full circle when 80s girls leaves the wedding with veto That's my plan Kyle Baxter for five guys. I just got me a double wide trailer. That's ten minutes of work Can I get an affirmative nod their way to go? Ten minutes of work diamond G for two my driver's side lower ball joint gave out today boo

I gotta get the go my car he's nuts The lower ball joint gave out today, boo. I gotta get my car frame fixed. G Money Pants, 14.92 for 10. Richard, per my last Super Chat, Spartacus is a stars show with a lot of naked women and violence in every episode. Oh yeah, he's so much Spartacus. Minimal projectile teeth.

I was gonna say that's an old show, right? It is an old show. I remember people were into that. It's very cool. Diamond G for two. GNA Lowerties, balls in your mouth. Ooh. Got it.

Yep. Vito's cat for five. Biggest problem in the universe. No, no. No, no. Nate Ring for five. Nate Ring for five. Chrissy, do you think he'll ever do a podcast with Candace Owens?

I would. I don't know. I mean, you mean like have a show with her or have her on my podcast? I've never talked to her or go on my pocket? Have you talked to her before? Never. No, but I think she's interesting. Do you see Milo lost his cat? Anti-Semitism is pretty interesting.

That's so sad. Yeah. I know. I can't find him. People are like, oh, aren't you glad that Milo lost his cat? I'm like, no. I identify with that scenario. I feel bad for him.

I hope he finds him. He's dropped the kayfabe. He's legitimately sad. That cat's coyote shit now. He's dropped. He's dropped the K. Fabies legitimately said that cats coyote shit now Oh, absolutely He lives up in like he lives in coyote town that guy Same place as me dr. Kevin's cat dude. He left it out. It actually got locked out one night He's like man. It really sucks having to explain your cats chewed apart corpse to your two kids You might even see someone you're driving back no wonder he was so sad Park Corpse to your two kids. I'm like, oh god, fuck. Why, there are a lot of coyotes out here? Oh yeah.

You might even see someone you're driving back. No wonder he was so sad. Yeah. You can't have a cat in this fucking area at all. That's why it's all dogs up here. You gotta be responsible. You can't be getting wasted. Keep it on a leash.

No. You cat. You gotta just be a responsible pet owner. If you care about things, You gotta not do drugs. You can't be busy blowing your trans girlfriend and the cat sneaks out. Poor Milo. Is that how it got lost?

Yeah, he was busy blowing his, they were all hopped up on Zanny Berries. All pooped up on dappers or ding dongs. They're cleaning all the poop off after another fun session. Up in the hills. What they in the hills and that cat went someone got a little too fabulous with the door you know what's a perfect name for his cat? Poppers

where's poppers? Sega Genesis for five I'm just glad that my best friend Vito is having a good time as always Turkey sandwich for five it's hilarious how much tough guy posturing exists in the podcast space Stirring around and talking into a microphone is for ladies. It's true being tough They're for 20. Oh yellow flash again. Yeah, and he's fighting Ethan now We're fighting now. They're all saying Ethan who is a second dick and there was that whatever Did you watch that video on your show some guy was trying to say?

Oh, yeah, and sucks dick and then he got his little bit of Ethan's Was trying to really cement this like forced meme they have of him being a throat goat They're like calling him that over and over so he got his all his whole family They're driving in the car a family drive one kid is in a car One kid is like a toddler and then there's a little boy That's like eight years old and then he's got like a preteen little girl in the car And he's like this fat like pedo coated weirdo like smiling. He's like hey yeah kids all right one two three And they all go throat goat and a little boy in the back starts Jacking off an invisible cock in his mouth. Dude the whole family in front of a little kid

Everyone online said you have to delete this right now You can't put a video of your son blowing an imaginary penis. This is not owning anyone You definitely shouldn't post your kids fake blowing a cock when you're wrong You certainly shouldn't do it when you think you're right. I mean, I hate to say it, if you guys are trying to make that into a meme, you've ruined it now. It is, but now it's your kids. Now when Yellow Flash goes, Ethernet Skyver is sucks dick, I go, yeah, you mean like that

weird guy let his kid meme fucking suck a dick? Yeah, you guys are nailing it. So this is why your comics suck, right? Because you don't understand what's funny. You don't understand what a meme is. We'll see what happens there. Nate rang for a big 20. Can this dick fit in yo ass? Laughing my ass off had to.

Thank you. Thanks Nate. I'm glad you had to get that one in. He's having a good time on Thursday. Dean Shock for two. Thanks for the last boys. Gross! A girl! Hi Dean Shock. Oh, Dean. You last boys. Gross, a girl! Hi, Dean Shock. Oh, Dean, you never know. She's squirting turkey sammich.

Can you hit the wall? That's the question. For a big five, lay these nuts on your forehead. Oh, that was a good one. JuH for 10 Canadians says, legit diaper bags stops the kids' room from smelling like poopy. Well, I had that.

I don't have that. Is that a brand legit diaper bag? I don't know, I'm not a fan of the diaper genie thing. I just say like, every time there's a poopy. I had those. Is that a brand legit diaper bag? I don't know, I'm not a fan of the diaper genie thing. I just say like, every time there's a poopy diaper, throw it out. You don't need to like store the poopy diapers in the room. I don't know why people just take it out to the trash. I have a basket and I just dump it like every day

or when there's a poopy diaper, you just put it in the trash. How long does the diaper genie claim to keep the poop in your house? People put like for, I don't know, they'll have like a week's worth How long are they how long use does the diaper genie claim to keep the people? I don't know they'll have like a week's worth or like many days worth of shitty diapers Just jammed into this genie thing and I'm like I have no connection to my cat shit every day I have a giant hole It just goes under my house. Don't flush it.

I have a giant hole. I might as well fill it up. You got a big pit down there. I might as well. I really am not connected. As a big prank on me. He's not connected to the sewer. I'm the only house not connected to the public sewer.

It's all gonna work out. If you clean a litter box every day, every day I take my cat shit out of the fucking trash. Why would you keep your kid's shit in there? That doesn't make any sense. I don't know. Let's see. Shoebox Kingdom for a big sense. I don't know. Let's see. Shoebox Kingdom for a big two.

I can't believe there's a woman on this show. SMFH. I always forget what that means. Hi, Shoebox. Shaking my fucking head. WeirdOle for five. That's a nice white and gold shirt you have there, Chrissy. I understand that reference.

Suffer Bastard for five. Chrissy, you're friends with Melanie Mack. Is she having a public breakdown? Even other conservative Christians think she's off her rocker. I have no idea. Is she saying crazy stuff? I have no knowledge of this. Did she run out of material?

She's got all those great jokes. Balder for five, only an Italian thinks ads on an episode people already paid for is okay. I know, I know. Exactly, Balder, exactly. People already paid for it twice. They paid for the Patreon. First of all they paid for it on this show and we fucked them over by paywalling it.

And then they paid for the paywall. And then we finally said in our generous spirit, in our magnanimous spirit we're gonna post it for free, fucks it over with ads. Charged into the deck. I didn't know you were Jewish, Vita. I don't! I don't know you were Jewish, Vita. Yeah, okay. I don't! I don't know how to do it.

Alright, nevermind. It's literally only for you. Cause you wanted to watch the episode. And the people complaining about it. And you don't know how to get an ad blocker. The point is people who pay for YouTube Premium, if they watch a video that's supposed to have ads on it, but they already have YouTube Premium, not only do they not see ads, but YouTube pays us for a YouTube premium member watching our content the point So the only thing is gaining back favor with our fans that we fucked over they already on it

That's your job nobody likes me well God's for 50 if you knows booty nuts I would like to do that good shoeoebox, King of Five, Donald J. Trump, Masterson, Let's Go, Just I've Been Five, breast milk dreams and baby names, good stuff. If Chrissy had talked about her hormones, this five would have been 10. Where the fuck is Sean for five? LJ Clabarino for five, Vito, do jerk to the Evangeline CP towel or use it to soak up the mess. I think he meant Evangelion and it is not CP because no one is naked They are just teenagers who pilot robots No, the only thing I think about is how I hope the one the only thing about is the one with the glasses because I

Hate her and I wish she would not be on my towel, but she is But all my other characters are out there. I have a bathroom tapestry This is a great costume. Thank you. He's a pirate. Where the fuck is Sean for five? How many super chats for Greedo to eat fifty filet of fish? Wait, so after a certain number of super chats you put the pirate costume on? Well they want to see Vito's booty.

I'm a pirate and I stole Vito's toys. And I give them back one at a time. If he gets on the scale and weighs himself. Or I smash them. It's all in the theme song that we'll sing in a couple minutes. You're allowed to leave at any point, by the way. I might have to go up. Well let's see, we're almost done here.

Let's see, you've been to Chad for two, towards the vetoes, 50 Flavor Fit Challenge. Danny Fitz for five, vetoes, stop messaging fake women, start shipping a comic. Yeah, no shit. Waka for two, tell me about Chrissy stealing that paper. All right. Marhearts. That's so mean. Johnny Rico for five, smooches for Chrissy. Yes. Matt C for ten, whenever I get cold calls ask them to start by reading the terms and conditions and privacy policy first. Once they finish I say I can't agree to those terms and they always blow up. That's pretty funny. Waka Waka for two, present D's nuts no one cares crispy.

Rydog for five, how do you feel about restaurants using beef tallow to make their fries? I used to smell and he's doing a TBF. I and Illyn Miller for 50, Veto the gay team guy. Oh! Is that the price? I thought it was more than 50 at this point. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Veto the gay team guy.

D,I. rules Weedle the K-Team Guy Female game characters should look more like men Beep beep beep Beep beep is a song Fet fet fet fet Gamergate never happens Weedle the K-Team Guy

Brought to you by Sweet Baby Incorporated Carrying out a lead us on easy wins agenda since 2018 Fantastic Justin Brodyk for two I love that song I know you do Veto more like gross bare Veto

It did not cause a huge fight You just wanted to turn it into a stupid bit and I didn't want to deal with the bit Caused a huge fight See? Shut up Diamond G for 250 Chrissy super colors gonna be three Christmas is late That's incorrect Danny fist for two those shoes need to be put down That's you for two oinktober to my Contra five grab a pan a great hidden gem cartoon was frisky Dingo was aired before Archer, but made by the same creators much funnier to I remember seeing that

I got a little weird. I didn't understand it. I didn't want to. Yeah, it got off the rails right away. Carried to the Swiss for five. Stop drooling over Chrissy Vito. Stop it. He's very composed. She doesn't have a dick. What am I going to do with this? Barry McOinker for two. Like he leg in these. OK, something. Stratergery for five. Imagine Viet showing up to Dick's house

wearing no socks and slip-ons. But when he demonstrates this for their guests, it chucksatergery for five. Imagine Viet showing up to Dick's house wearing no socks and slip-ons, but when he demonstrates this for their guests, it chucks slips in my ass. Chucks slips in my ass. Flirk, respect for five. I can easily find shirts 13 anywhere I go. It's 14 and up. That's an issue.

Thank you, Flirk. Classic lazy Vito. Thank you, Flirk. You're not like, you don't have like four feet or something. No, you're like a 15. Whatever the fuck you're saying. It's hard to find. Three arms. It's not hard to find a 13. That's one of the sizes. It's hard to find a 13. It's hard to find. Three arms. It's not hard to find a 13.

That's one of the sizes. It's hard to find a 13. It's not that big. Maybe at Burlington Coal Factory. I feel like I should stop being on tape saying it's hard to find a 13, but guys, it's hard to find a 13. Mike Hunter for five, another gem with seven periods with Mr. Gormsby. The teacher makes the students perform a blackface, haka, slash minstrel show. Whole thing is on YouTube.

Check that out. Put a link in the comments. Big boss for five. Now that half of the sector is directly involved with the drama around DSP versus Keno Casino. Regarding who snaked who first? Can DSP be a call in? I would love to talk to DSP.

Sure. DiamondG for 25. RIP Vito's cat song. Play the greatest hits for all time. Always. Well, we got to burn through these. Chrissy's got to get out of here. Next show.

Pigeon for 10. Her milk's bursting. Isn't Bill Burr raising someone else's kid? I don't know. Knucking futz for 10. Favorite spam call response. Thank you for calling Joe's abortion clinic. No fetus can beat us. How may we schedule your abortion today?

No more side products Veto. Ah hell no. Wear socks Veto. Paws are gaming guides for two. Pig shouldn't diss Eric when his comic is worse and late. I agree. Baldur for two. Woman-like said by a man with no woman. Macabas for three.

Get yourself a pair of Hey Dudes, Vito. Very comfy. Rector D for five. Vito, I could possibly help. I've been a graphic designer at a print shop for 14 years. Hey, and he's a man. Yeah, you're a man. Send me a message.

Paste pot Pete for five. Send him a message and then pay that lady to do it. Vito buy some socks. Ew gross you're wearing your shoes out faster than feets probably smell. Thank you Pete. Camera for two. Chrissy as a woman do bathrooms need doors we covered that. Yes. LJ Clauberino for five. Chrissy can you do an impression of Bilburg getting skin peeled off and covered by Vito's moist socks. Oh god, my skin! Oh, it's peeling off! Oh! Oh, my fucking skin's peeling off here, buddy! My fucking skin! You gotta wear fucking shoes there, buddy!

My fucking skin's peeling off! Ah! Ah! I got a fucking moist socks instead of my skin! You gotta start by saying retarded in the Boston voice. Retarded. That's fucking retarded. That's pretty good.

That's retarded. That's retarded. I thought I was watching a stand-up. I, uh, yeah, it's just yelling. Here's the thing. Stage 0 for 5, you get one ad break. Vito at the beginning, no mid rolls, ads, otherwise I'll use Louis Rasmund's Grey J app and watch ad free. Yeah, do that.

That's fine. Captain Shakespeare for 2. Vito will definitely jack it to the guest later. I have... You better. Yeah, I'm definitely. I'm stealing that breast milk out of the fridge. Let's see here. I don't want how many did you count the bottles before you put them in? Vanilla almond milk, it's great. Is it does it depend on what you you drink?

You know if you eat garlic it probably Does it's like way it tastes like almond milk. It tastes like almond milk? It does, it's like lovely, it's sweet. Really? That's so fucking weird. It's really good. Let's see, is that a Quink's All for two? Vito, are your moves bigger than hers?

Yes, of course. Late and straight for two. PKA live show crossover would be insane. I think it would be a big show. I think we'd have a lot of fun. But those guys do have a huge audience. I don't think they're man enough to do it though. Yeah, like they are pussies Taylor

Taylor might be the only one man enough to do it Yeah, the other two guys just not man enough to have a- Kyle got his balls stolen by the government. They haven't given them back Woody's a, you know, a family man. The live show takes a lot of chutzpah. Takes a lot of getting out there. You know, nuts. Well, Hackamania is going really well. It takes a lot of chutzpah. It takes a lot of getting out there. Nuts. Well Hackamania is going really well.

I would like to see more of these podcast type shows. Doing crossovers and live shows. We always have fun doing them. It's fun seeing the fans. You know, we could get Hack the Movie, spring out all five of his listeners. You know, there's so many people out there to help pack a show. I'm wearing my Hack- I wore my Tony from Hack the Movie shirt today. My Sam lot and my Hack the Movie.

There we go. And your Goodwill unwashed shirt. My tip of the hat, my tip of the hat, both of these are from the Goodwill actually. Little tip of the hat to Tony from Hack the Movies. Let's see. Do you go there and just swap your clothes? Like do you go there and just try them on and then walk out and leave your clothes there? I was there and I said these look nice and I'm gonna buy them. I like them.

Johnny Rocker 5 just poured the show Vito tweeted I helped myself to the new milk in Rick's fridge What do you mean by this? Nothing. Is that a quink self or two? What are your thoughts on gay black samurais? I got a lot of thoughts on that maybe next episode we'll talk about them Nicholas right for five was not expecting to fear Fort Wayne, Indiana on Biggest Problem. Cast Chrissy Mare in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Yeah. Vantage for 20. Biggest Problem. Hutch has not asked the violent anti-Musk fire terrorist to stop violence.

I need an innocent explanation. They're mutilating those cars. Me, a four, one, two, zero for two. Did Vito remember to scrape the seat-mum off his head? No. Dan Halen for two. Would you like two CDs? They should make a jerk-off band for women like a clit bit

Fast guy six six six for five been listening to dick since og biggest problem I miss Sean and I would hate veto less if he wasn't gross Yeah, I get that white guy McGee for two Chrissy pulled up on y'all. How does it feel? We love Chrissy Chrissy come back anytime white guy McGee for two pulled up on D's nuts I got him black crimson for ten biggest problems when your wife stops the microwave early doesn't reset the clock So you don't know what time it is especially the middle of the night when you take a piss Thanks for not killing yourselves renoxis for two two dollar Balder holler Balder for two plumb rose assemble plumb oh for two two dollar Balder holder

renoxis for five Thursday shows negatively impacted the price of plum coin Thanks a holes in coo for five. Thank you for not there is killing yourselves guys. Oh Now we sing the song oh What's the game where we smash all the toys? Who tweets about the boys What's in the box, You know you want it. No I don't, it's probably bullshit. So get on the scale or I smash it to shit.

I can see it's a body ball. No, no, no, that's a fake one. Vito's booty. Vito's booty. Last time you destroyed the fucking box. So now it's out of the game. Well what's it gonna be Vito? Well you know. You gotta decide quickly or we're gonna have a milk avalanche in here. VEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E from my mind. Yeah, I plundered him. From his hoard of toys. How dare you.

And I'm giving them back one at a time in Vito's booty right here. Oh, no. Only if he gets on the scale. My beloved Black Panther Funko Pop will be destroyed. How's it going to go? I'm truly losing my mind here. You want to do the honors, Chrissy?

You got to cut to the camera. Do you want to do it? Where will you ever get another one? How can we see it? This is one of my most prized possessions that the pirate has stolen. Get away from the mouth. Is now destroyed.

Get away from the mouth! Stop touching it! Shut up. Here, do you wanna smash it? Really? Yeah, of course. In the box or out of the box? I think the guest should do it.

In the box. Yo, this is... Good luck. Yeah, let me zoom out a little bit so I can get more of the toy. Be as violent as you feel you need to be. All right, wait, I might, I don't want to block dick wait a minute oh I forget which way it goes this way that would be the focus there yeah hammer nose it's far enough

there it is okay my beloved black Funko one of vetoes favorite thing I love black characters for some reason piece of crap that he always has in his house. Hold on, you move it more my way. He went in the opposite way. I also have a chisel if you want to use that. How about there? Can you get it from there? Oh my god, no! No! Oh no. Oh wow, I've never broken anything.

Keep going, go nuts. I've never broken anything on perp. Oh my god Happens horrifying she destroyed. I thought this is made of my brain. That's a beloved Marvel character How does it feel really good well you can tell Anthony coming this, we've only smashed black Funko Pop guys since the show started. Not really. We smashed a white Final Fantasy guy that one time. And I'm pretty sure I'd stab asbestos from that. I think he was filled with asbestos. This is a heavy hammer.

Chrissy Mare has successfully destroyed my black panther Funko Pop for which I am truly destroyed. What a horrible thing. Guys, I want to thank Chrissy Mare once again. Chrissy, where do we find you? ChrissyMayer.com for tickets. Chrissy Mayer on YouTube and Twitter and ChrissyMayerPod on Instagram. Fantastic. And here is a list of our supporters from two years ago. That only Vito cares about. Only Vito wanted to do this where he puts everyone's name up and I told him that you're never going to update it every month. So don't bother doing it. And he didn't it's like Here we go, where's the update thing that no one gives a fuck about

Every show no one cares. There's our supporters from two years ago. Everyone loves seeing it very excited. Wait, is this it? No, that's not that's completely fucked. You're in the wrong scene. How about it? Well, because if I switch to the other scene, she's not gonna be in the shot anymore. Browser, great. There, that's... Well, that's how fucking OBS works. Okay, well you should update it when we do it. Guys, what a great show. Don't forget to subscribe to everybody, subscribe to Chrissy, and we

love you. I will be streaming some video games. Come on by Vito2 and... Thanks Chrissy. I don't need shoes, I do what I want Alright! You need shoes I don't wanna talk about it anymore I'm very happy And that's the bottom line