The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 26 - Flirting with Cowards

Episode Date: January 29, 2022

The Cowardice of Women, Political Scientists, Bad Jannies, LARPing PUAs

Uh, super chats are available as well as super stickers. What the fuck is a super sticker? I don't fucking know. Just the latest in the long line of Skinner boxes. You can put a sticker on your Stickman when you're watching your favorite chans. Thanks for the $2, Cyberganic. Oh, man. That's what I want.

Yeah. That's all the society is now is coming up with different ways for you to creatively spend money. Is that creative? No, but nothing is. We have to like pretend that it is. Here's a little tip for you. Here's a little something for your time.

It used to be you handed a man a dollar, you got something in response. Now I need a whistle and a wheel and a little music needs to play. Yeah, I know. Ralph has that like text to speech. Yeah, I know. Ralph has that, like, text-to-speech and I just hate it. It's obnoxious. It's like,

oh, do you, they do all these accents. They always do it in a Chinese accent. It's right in the middle of everything and you just gotta deal with it. Yeah, you'll be in the middle

of, like, a thing and you're like, well, I mean, I guess they're giving Ralph $5 so I have to shut up, but. But why would they want, and they're funny sometimes, too. I hate that the most.

What Mr. Girl did, though, is he went on a Ralph show and he specifically demanded I'm not going to do it unless he saved those for after the show. That was bad. Are we going to talk about Mr. Girl's... Was it bad? The way he...

It was fine. The way he bailed at the end instead of taking callers and said, oh, I can't stream this. I'm out. Oh. Well, he couldn't... MR, girl. He can't stream it. All he had to do was turn his stream off.

No, but he wanted... The whole point is that he showed up to stream. It's not fair if Ralph gets to keep making money. It was very dirty i felt dirty watching it i was like ralph used his influence to connect you with this interview and then as soon as the callers started coming in which is the which is the meat right you said that could no that caller is aggressive no i'm out of here no no no, but I think before the show started, I think he told Ralph no collars. Then Ralph said, can we do collars?

And he said, okay, I guess, kind of as like a favor. And then the collars immediately start yelling the F slur, and he's like, well. No shit. Well, don't. Okay, you ready? Look, I'm not saying he handled it the best way. If the deal was no collars beforehand... I think ahead of time they agreed to that,

and then Ralph kind of snuck in on him. Well, he agreed at the time. Hey, can we take some collars? I think we should take some. And he's like, all right, I guess. Those fucking collars. I was so pissed at those collars. He was like, God damn it.

Can you just not say it for five seconds? No, you can't. That's why we have to be over here behind a dumpster podcasting to each other because you can't, because you just, you like it. They don't get it. You like doing this. You like just ruining it. Fuck you.

Let's do the show. Ah. So annoying. The biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. From bones getting Riddler to electing Hitler. I'm your host Nick Madison.

Joining me as always is Peter G. Swalte. Hi Dick. Hey, what's up buddy? How you doing? I'm excited. I'm your host Nick Madison. Joining me as always is Peter G. Swalte. Hi Dick. Hey what's up buddy? How you doing? I'm excited. I'm excited to be here. Yeah a little bit later. Look at us.

We got our shirts. We got our shirts. We like. I like jokes. I like jokes too man. Look at we're blue and yellow. Blue and yellow is a good color coordinated scheme. Looking hot.

If you got these your your shirt, post it online with hashtag I like jokes. Of your shirts. And we're going to put a, I'm going to put another run up in a minute so people can go buy them again.

Yeah. And they're more expensive this time because you missed out. Because inflation. No shit. You should charge an extra two bucks. I'm going to charge an extra five. Yeah.

Fuck it. The price of everything's gone up. All the shirts went up like 15%. Yeah. Nice round number of inflation is what the raw goods cost, as it turns out. Always a nice round number. It's always nice and round. Yeah.

Okay. Do you want to hear the winners of last time? Yeah. Yeah. Elder care. Boom. Taking it home. Elder care. Old people are a problem it home. Eldercare.

Old people are a problem, Dick. I know. I don't think caring for them is a big... It's too expensive. It's too expensive. Cost of eldercare. The cost of eldercare. Yeah, was that it?

The cost of eldercare? Well, I mean, I think when you say eldercare, you assume the cost is the big... I mean, also, just old people getting sick is a problem as well. Okay, broken bones. Broken bones. Second one, kind of similar. Then we had Ralph was immediately suffering from some... After...

I think if Ralph had gone and gotten himself wrecked... Yeah. Closer to when the voting was, that would have gotten a higher vote. Because you see his broken bones, the effect that it has on him, the surgery and stuff. He had broken bones. And also, is his travel insurance kicking in?

Does that cover his flight back? It probably does, right? It probably covers everything. Yeah. Like, broken everything. Well, I don't think the travel insurance covers his health care. Why not?

They figure they're never going to have to use it. I don't i don't maybe i don't know i assume it covers the cost of him needing a different ticket home because he's got to stay there in the hospital for like a week he's gonna bankrupt that insurance company he's on value they're giving it valium which is nice because he's the only one that's ever bought we've never anticipated this scenario. We got $100 in, and we have to pay $300,000 in medical bills for this guy. When was he supposed to come back? Do you know? Tomorrow. Yeah, so he's staying.

He's extended his stay, and the travel insurance has paid off. He's going to be stuck there for four weeks. He's going to become like Don Ralph or something. He's going to have to move there. He's going to become the king of Portugal. I don't know. I don't think that's all a bunch of bullshit. Like, they're flying army guys around.

They get their eyes all messed up, right? Yeah. Orbital socket. Green jacket. I think they want... It's got titanium in there. Yeah, but once you're in the hospital, you don't want to transfer to another hospital

and got to go through all the scan and everything again. Oh, man. Portugal x-rays. Americans can't read them, as we know. They're completely different. He's so swollen. He looks like a cabbage patch kid. I would not have posted a picture to be very honest,

to be very honest. That's how much your trigger finger looking for me to slip up. Why not? People want to see like, but it's like every thumbnail I see on YouTube about Ralph is just that picture. And I'm like, uh, uh, you know, that's not the worst. That's not the worst media.

Ralph has ever posted himself online. Maybe this is going to outweigh all the other Ralph pictures. It's like he's posted. This is some top level. What I'm talking about. Mind games here is they go, oh, what picture should I use? At least they default to that as opposed to his, you know. Oh, he's all puffy.

Oh, my God. He's hanging out. He's got to find those guys that did this, like taken. Yeah, if anyone's listening to this and they don't know what happened, Ethan Ralph was assaulted in Portugal. He was assaulted, yeah. By four men. One of which had one arm.

They broke his bones. Travel insurance, we talked about that. And you voted for this very deeply, deeply in the negative. I have to make a point about this. You kind of sidetracked me on the whole you voted for this thing. Because people agree with me. So you have a good way to present this problem? Yes, because the idea that I was trying to get at before you sidetracked me with Biden is responsible for everything or whatever.

You are responsible for everything Biden does. It's the idea of saying you voted for this for stuff that is clearly not associated with the candidate or the presidency at all. Like what? Again, dogs running away? Yeah. Well,

that would be an example. Your dog runs away and you go, you voted for this? Yeah. It would be something like that. Okay. Again, when people try to claim that all this cancel culture stuff only exists because we voted Biden into the presidency.

All that stuff was going on while Trump was president. Yeah, but Obama started it. Biden has not accelerated it or anything. Okay, then say I voted for Obama and it's Obama's problem. Did you vote for Obama? Uh, yeah. So you voted for this. This is such bullshit.

you vote for obama uh yeah so you voted for this obama and biden did the thing where banks can cancel you for hate speech or they have to okay but i'm not talking about you voted for that and then you voted for the guy that said that trump ended that by the way you're right but trump did not end cancel culture it was still going on and i don't think biden is exacerbating it or contributing to it in any meaningful way okay uh ket rayless says i have a problem with someone banning something and not explaining what about it was actually a bannable offense i watched the entire episode and i had no clear idea what conflicted with youtube guidelines oh yeah well i think we've somebody pointed out what they think it is, and I'll try to speak about it in broad terms

so we don't get manned again. Say the opposite. It's opposite day. Just say the opposite. The opposite day. I fucking love the vaccine works. Yeah. If you don't get it,

you hate America. I hope everyone that gets a vaccine... Bob Saget will live forever. In heaven. In heaven. And he did not go there... Specifically, they do not want you talking about bob saget and perhaps a certain medical treatment he died because he stubbed his toe

he stubbed his toe and no other he took a jello shot we're gonna call him jello shots okay that's our new word died because he took a jello shot and he died from having a jello shot that was the reason a lot of young men are dying from jello shots you should all go out and get a jello shot and he died from having a jello shot. And that was the reason. A lot of young men are dying from jello shots. You should all go out and get your jello shot today. It's very important. But it could give you heart problems, a jello shot. I don't know. Am I going to get a...

Is that going to get us... I don't know. Bro, I feel like the fucking... I feel like the South Park Mohammed episode. Is this okay to draw? Is it okay for me to say that kids shouldn't have jello shots? Which they shouldn't because it could cause heart problems You're uncomfortable, right?

You should not give your child a jello shot That's a completely different Or you shouldn't let a doctor do it Alright Anyway, I spoke to Susan directly We had a great chat She said Yes

And episode 25 is once again available on YouTube Susan directly. We had a great chat. She said, Yes. And episode 25 is once again available on YouTube after being taken down for a week for medical misinformation. Yeah, just a week. Your earnings. You could deal with that. Yeah, just a week of bad earnings and being able to connect with your audience. Topical issues. And the only way

you could get in touch with us was with this obscure contact form that only like two people could find and figure out how to... That's the other thing. A lot of people have no idea. YouTube does not tell you how to get in touch with them. I had to go through some back channels. No, they tell their customers how to get in touch with them. Advertisers.

Did you know that YouTube's customer service is... I found this out recently. Every person you're typing with is actually two Indian men with each with a different hand on the keyboard. Okay. That's why it's like that. When you try to get... So the each are taking turns? No, they're about the same time. One taking the right hand,

one taking the left hand, and they're both typing. Is that more efficient? You tell me. I would assume not. Do you think it's ironic That That you got Kicked off of YouTube After your reporting

No I didn't report But do you think it's ironic No There's nothing ironic about it And also You got us kicked off So

You said Whatever the hell Um I said Benjamin Swearingen says What makes me a rage Is people who Whose tastes are just Too refined Oh wait That makes me a rage is people whose tastes are just too refined.

Oh, wait, that makes me a rage. That's the wrong show. Stephen Bates, wait, is Vito's point that the only time you're responsible for something is when you admit it's something you wanted? Does he not understand weight's wrong with that? Do you not understand weight's wrong with that? Yeah.

It's only when it's something your candidate is actually doing you can't blame everything the left is doing on biden oh okay he's just the king of the left no he isn't though he's not involved in every single thing okay president of the left some lefties are just fucking insane it has nothing to do with who's president at the time they did the same shit under trump okay um so the guy that goes around atx adventure the guys that goes around flagging people's videos for covid flag gets banned for covid misinformation who could have seen on twitter okay it was a bad joke i'm sorry and i will never never stop hearing the end of it were you were you pissed at me when the video got taken down?

No. Oh, what kind of no was that? I was, though. I was like, everyone's going to fucking say that this is my fault and I'm a flagger and that's shrewd and fruity for me. Okay. Do you want to do our problem? Yeah, let me kick us off because I am the winner.

Dick, you know, as long as we're talking about this idea of medical misinformation, I think that a certain group of people bear the responsibility. These are people I am calling political scientists. Now, not political science in the traditional term i'm talking about scientists who rather than do their fucking job decide they should get involved in certain social issues of wait a minute wait a minute walk me through that slowly this is not political scientists no it is scientists who get political oh do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, so it's not people who do social surveys and see who's got bigger biceps.

No. Like Republicans. Those people are probably a problem as well. Who's more of a pedophile? Authoritarian right? Right? Right. This is specifically when scientists

who are supposed to do science and find facts and figures and check data instead decide to do the exact opposite and go with their hearts. What I like about this is that it translates really well over text. Political scientists, it's actually like, you don't need a criminal lawyer. You need a criminal lawyer. You need a lawyer who is a criminal. Yeah.

That's funny. What's from Breaking Bad? Oh, is that a Breaking Bad? You need a criminal lawyer? Yeah,. Yeah. Okay. That's funny. What's from Breaking Bad? Oh, is that a Breaking Bad? You need a criminal lawyer? Yeah, my girlfriend watches Breaking Bad on loop, so I pretty much know everybody. What season was that? Like season two, season three? Yeah, I think so.

Point is, Dick, that all these scientists right now are so mad that people are not taking a certain public health crisis seriously. Racism. They're taking... Well, we're going to get into that. They're taking their anger out in all the wrong ways. As we've seen, they keep going at Joe Rogan, of all people. All of them signing a letter saying the problem,

the reason for this medical misinformation is guys like Joe Rogan. No. You know what I love about that? What? When you, like, say that somebody is wrong, you're saying that, when I see a scientist going, like, let me tell you why he's wrong, I think, oh, that guy must be a scientist.

Because you guys don't say you're wrong. Like, a physicist never goes up to just a random guy and go, like, let me tell you why you're wrong about dark matter. They just go like, eh. It's like, oh, I guess maybe Joe Rogan is a scientist. I don't know. Yeah.

Why else would you be confronting him? Clearly, he's not. Yeah. He's a comedian. Yeah. He has a show. You can't. And they signed this letter.

It was like 400 of them signed a letter to get him kicked off. Yeah. And they put out a press release. It was like 400 medical health professionals trying to get your own kicked off and then you somebody went through and they're like, all right Well, like 50 of these guys are veterinarians and shit. Yeah, I don't think they're you know health experts Got a couple dentists on there and shit One you don't need hundreds. You just need one to explain why. This is the problem I have with it. I don't want a million scientists to say that he's wrong. I just want one to explain why.

Just say why then. No, no, no. Hold on. I got a couple more guys. Hold on. You're not convinced? I got 50 more guys. Why would I even trust that one guy?

Because scientists have completely abandoned what they're supposed to do. Again, declaring racism a public health crisis, which was kicked off by the CDC. The Center for Disease Control wants you to know. I saw this. The biggest public health crisis of our time is not, you know, AIDS or cancer. It's racism, of course. Well, I don't know what it is, but it isn't racism. I know that.

We all know that. At one point, it was AIDS. No. It was never AIDS. At no point, it wasn't AIDS. No, because gay men get AIDS. Yeah, they used to kill the shit out of them. That was a problem.

Well, that's not, that's not, the shit out of them. That was a problem. That's those guys. It's not a public health crisis. Are you saying that the public has to be everybody, so if it's a specific group, it doesn't count? Yeah, heart disease is way worse than AIDS. It's always been worse than AIDS. So AIDS was a gay health crisis.

Yeah. Okay. Gays are dying of heart attacks too doing all their poppers and having butt sex all right i don't want to talk about the gay kid jesus fucking christ back on topic uh i do i do want to read this very quickly from new york governor kathy hochel who has signed legislation declaring racism a public health crisis. For far too long, communities of color in New York have been held back by systemic racism and

inequitable treatment. I'm happy to sign legislation that addresses this crisis head-on, addressing racism, expanding equity, and improving access for all. What does that have to do with health? That's not a disease thing. How does racism hurt health well i mean cops are shooting you they're trying to go this roundabout thing where like if you're black maybe

it's harder to get health care or something it is yeah but that's not that's not a health crisis because you don't want to go yeah the government's always lying to you oh that's part of it health crisis like a disease. It's not the idea of like... Like suicides. And fentanyl overdoses. Sure. Like these types of things.

You have to nail down an actual medical problem. Something that you can easily point to and say, yeah, I know somebody who's either overdosed or almost overdosed. It's a big problem. I'm worried about it happening to me. It is not scientific to say... Not worried about racism hitting to me it is not scientific about racism hitting oh god you can't scientifically prove racism is the reason for any of this like you could say like you know

black people or whatever suffering more okay but you can't scientifically go in oh yeah well that's because of the racism i found it in their genetic code yeah the racism what's what's leading to this yeah uh and then scientists go, well, why does nobody trust us? And I'm like, well, because you're out here making shit all the time. You guys are lying constantly.

For attention. For attention and fun. For attention. Because you are, you're like so desperate for dumb people to understand you. Yeah.

Like, oh, check it out. The pinnacle of science now is not figure something out that nobody has ever figured out in advanced human understanding. It's explaining something rudimentary to the dumbest person you can find. Right. Like a child.

Yeah. Like, oh, check out this about time. He's just like, I don't get it still. Scientists want to be kings. They want to be worshipped yeah as the bearers of science and knowledge but then they go and do dumb shit where remember when this whole thing started off they're like y'all got to stay in your homes don't talk to anybody yeah you know if you breathe on a child that child will be dead within the hour right right and then certain people

started to protest that and they said why are you protest that. Why are you giving all these weird non-specifics? I'm trying to avoid. No, I'm going to get into that. I'm saying before that. Oh, okay. There were people who were protesting against the mandates, right? Like people were saying, oh, you know, we're not going to take masks. Yeah, sure.

And you were saying, I don't want to wear a mask, whatever else. And they would go out, right, outside of the courthouses, and they would protest. And they'd say, yeah, that's a health hazard. How could these people all gather together? And, you know, they're a threat to the community. They're all out there without their masks or whatever else. Then Black Lives Matter comes along, does the exact same thing. And they go, yeah, but they're doing it for a good reason.

So it's okay. Because racism is worse than COVID. Right. No, that's literally what they say is uh here was jennifer nuzzo a john hopkins epidemiologist says we should always evaluate the risks and benefits of efforts to control the violence or to control this virus of violence to control the virus sorry i said violence virus of racism the virus no no she's saying wouldn't that be great it would be great if they called racism no if you could. The virus of racism? The virus of... No, she's saying... Wouldn't that be great?

It would be great if they called racism a virus. No, if you could make a virus of racism. A racist virus? Yeah. I think that would be one out there. That would show those motherfuckers who's... Get over here. Achoo! Oh, no, it makes people racist.

They start looking over their shoulder, gearing up for a joke. As Jennifer says, and what I think a lot of scientists echoed were, in this moment, the public health risks of not protesting exceed the harm of the virus. I believe that. If we don't protest for Black Lives Matter. Well, yeah, you believe that. I mean, that's true, yeah, because nothing happened. Everyone went out protesting and acted normal. You're not supposed to say,

if you want me to believe that this is such a drastic public health crisis, which I do believe that it is a problem that should be treated seriously, but if the scientific community comes out and they go, well, but yeah, but you can go out and protest and not wear a mask and that's more important and it's fine.

See, that was honest. Yeah, but then you you know what about all those guys who were protesting before about how they didn't want to wear a mask and they're like no that was a bad protest so that was worse than the virus yeah but now the virus is not as bad as you know the black lives racism yeah yeah uh it is it is complete nonsense. Again, these scientists say staying at home and social distancing are effective. But you kind of voted for that. I know you don't like hearing that, but you did kind of... Like these scientists that are encouraging this kind of shit.

Which scientists did I vote for, Dick? Like all of them. When did I elect the science council? All the government scientists. Oh, this is... No. Yeah, they are the government scientists. Oh, this is, no. Yeah, they are the government scientists. They get money from the government.

I did not elect New York Governor Hochul. The CDC would have done this. Did Biden replace people within the CDC, or was it the same people who have already been there? Trump didn't have time to get to all those guys. And maybe he would have fucked that up. He did fuck that up, too. Okay, so you voted for it then. Yeah, but we didn't know about those guys yet.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you didn't know. You still voted for it. And so you're responsible. That was what you were arguing. So. It's even if something bad happens that you didn't anticipate, it's your fault. And so you voted for it.

So all the BLM shit. Yeah, you voted for it. All the people that were saying, oh yeah, that's fine. Actually. You voted for the BLM protests because Trump was in office when they started it. No, Trump was anti that. No, it doesn't matter. You voted for it, and he allowed it to happen, and he didn't shut it down.

If a meteor hits, I didn't vote for that while Trump was in office. I could argue. This is bad guys doing it. No, no, no, no, no. See? Trump called them terrorists. If Hillary had won, they wouldn't have needed to protest, so you voted for it. Yeah, because that's her side. You voted voted for it see how stupid that fucking phrase is

assumptions about who voted for what okay again it has to be based on some sort of fact i'm not but didn't biden biden say like yeah actually it is worse how are you gonna tell me i voted for blm protests when the BLM protests happened under Trump? Because that's their side. Biden didn't stop. Those guys are great. When Biden got in office, it was over at that point. Didn't Biden go to George Floyd's daughter and sniff her or something?

Yeah, well, she has good panties. He loves the smell of everyone's hair. It's his one favorite thing in the world. Trump didn't go to the Floyd family and sniff their kids. No, but he wanted it to happen secretly. That was his plan. That's what I'm going to argue. Just saying, it seems like of the two of them, you voted for this side.

I feel like we're revisiting a previous problem rather than focusing on the important problem, which is scientists, I want you to do your jobs, do your science, get me the data, get me the facts. So you can analyze it? And I will analyze it, and I will make an informed decision, which is my right as a citizen and a child of God. That's not exciting, though. Like, science is a-

What is more exciting if they get out there and they say racism is infecting our children or whatever the fuck? Yeah, scientists need money. They gotta get grants. Well, we brought Dr. Kevin in, and that was basically what he was saying, was that all the grants go to the people who do get political yeah yeah we gotta bring dr kevin back in otherwise they're just gonna say like well i kind of don't really know yeah like why it sucks i don't know why this is happening really got some ideas like no we need i think if you have a grant proposal

and you go i want to stop aids they go i don't know what is your way to stop it is racist they'll give you all the money what's your way to stop AIDS? What is your way to fix this? Because AIDS is racist. They'll give you all the money. What's my way to fix this? What's your way? Like, do you have any kind of thinking? Self-scientist, shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. You're not allowed to speak on anything. We're taking all your Twitter accounts away. Okay, we're taking. I believe that you do think this is a good idea. Well,

I believe that you would vote for it. Let me put it that way. I'm going to vote for it. This is what I voted for Look, you can have a Twitter account. Okay, you can be like what's this fucking name that black scientist keeps it telling us stars aren't Real or magic or whatever else? Will Smith's kid? No the fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson Yeah, who just post science stuff to piss you off. We're like wow shooting stars are beautiful and he's like well actually it's not

They're not beautiful at all you're an idiot he's said you can kiss yourself in the mirror but only on the lips he's said it like 10 times really weird dude I never thought that once if I did I might tweet it I wouldn't tweet it 10 times

he thinks a lot about the fact that the only place you can kiss yourself in a mirror is right on the lips and he's tweeted it 10 times in the span of like four years uh and that's what i want to stop is i want scientists to stop being cute and fun no more bill nye's no more mr wizard kill him uh we could drag him in the street and shoot him fine minecraft in in yeah the streets of minecraft you don't like bill nye i don't think science should be fun anymore. Anymore? I think that they had a chance to make science fun and social. You know what?

Beekman did it. Beekman was good. Beekman gets a pass. But then guys like Bill Nye again come. And Bill Nye's not even a real scientist. Science is like gender, global warming. Well, I don't even want to get into the whole science being like, yeah, you can change your gender, your sex, whatever you want.

But that's what political science is. is gender stuff climate stuff yeah uh diseases take the emotion out of science i want to go back to when the nazis would just cut people open you didn't think about right or wrong you just wanted the data not exactly that okay we're gonna have some ethics But mostly I want scientists To be cold hearted Insensitive bastards Yeah They don't care about anybody They just care about

The facts What do you Okay Like Dr. Scholz The foot guy? Yeah You know he was a famous Nazi doctor

Oh really? Yeah he would operate On the feet of a Jewish Dr. Scholz is A Nazi doctor? Yeah we brought him in after the war operation paperclip included dr schultz orthotics yeah i mean the von braun up in uh

heisenberg only brought all those rocket guys over they snuck dr schultz in as well i don't know you haven't heard of this yeah Why would I have heard of this? Because he did all this fucking research. I'm not in feet sites. On Jewish arches and checking their feet. Dr. Scholls was in a concentration camp doing research with a protractor on Jewish arches of their feet? He was beating off to their women's feet? I don't know if he was beating off to it. But

Dr. Scholl was famous. Yeah, he was one of the guys that came over after the war. How does he have a product still on the shelves? Because at the time we didn't know he was like a Nazi. They brought him over and they said he's just a fun German guy. A fun guy. Yeah. Who's that guy? Dr. Scholl's he looks like

kind of a weird foot guy. No. He probably changed his name. His name was guy? Dr. Scholls? He looks like Kind of a weird foot guy No He probably changed his name He's not His name was probably Not Dr. Scholl originally It was Dr. Sniffin Dr. Schumfligger

Or some shit And I want to go back Dr. Scholls? Yeah I thought he was like I thought that was like Chef Boyardee No no he was real

Because it sounds like souls He was a real guy I was like there's no way That's real It does sound like souls See that He was a real guy. I was like, there's no way that's real. It does sound like souls. See, he probably changed his name. I don't fucking know. It's probably, again,

like Dr. Schollflugger or something. Like some Germany name. Scholl's is Germany. He made it a different German name? I guess that makes sense. Yeah, they'll sometimes do that. Wow.

The world's a crazy place. Why do you know this? I don't know, man, because one time i was getting like dr scholl's stuff and i decided to look up like is dr scholl a real guy and they're like yeah he's like a german guy okay he went down the shoals right the rabbit on the shoal the the rabbit shoal nazi foot man point is dr scholl in same way Dr. Scholl brought us these great advancements by testing his inventions on Jewish children or whatever else, that's what science should Yeah, what do we know about testing things on children over here?

Yeah, well, I guess that's what we're doing. No more politics and science. So you want there to be more Dr. Scholls and less Dr. Bill Nye? Less, yeah. Less Dr. Tyson. Less calling racism a public health crisis. It's just going to get worse, though. Like, now that science is...

Well, then they're not allowed to complain. They're not allowed to complain. When they say, why do people not believe us? Why do they not believe us when we talk about... Because you fucking lie! Stop lying! Stop making shit up!

Yeah. Stop saying stupid shit that you know isn't true where you're like yeah you can change your gender you just got to turn your penis inside out and all your chromosomes fucking mutate the right way it's like no we know that's not true you know that is really there's absolutely nothing that's exciting right now happening on earth like except for kind of elon musk but not really. Yeah. Like, okay. You have touchscreens in space. Big fucking whoop. Right?

No one's doing anything. I like blockchain stuff, but it's just math. No one's really doing any cool science. No, they're not. They're not propelling us. Yeah, the closest we got is going to space. It's like, eh, we've been to space. Been to space.

I hate it. Who's making a teleporter? What was that? I was cloning. Yeah, I want a teleporter? What was that? What were you wanting? Yeah, I want a teleporter. What do you want to clone? I want to clone... Yourself? I'd clone myself, yeah. I want to clone... They'll clone your pets, though.

Why would I want that? I want to clone my cat. That's like a constant reminder of my dead pet. It'd be fucking weird. You can treat it like it's like a... I don't know if it's a constant reminder. It would be way too weird. A cloned pet judge judy cloned her dog yeah that bitch is fucking wild yeah she's well she's got a lot of money i think it costs a lot of money to clone your pet good it's like 100k uh okay that's your problem political scientists political scientists political scientists are not

so great either you should bring that in as a problem well if people get confused yeah I hate them both say political scientists too will be the

other problem that'd be funny you don't know which one you're voting for here's my problem alright ready for this one no

yes jannies jannies. Jannies. You know what a Jannie is? No, Dick. Explain to me what a Jannie is. A janitor. A janitor.

On a forum on the internet. An internet janitor. A moderator. Moderator. A janitor. They just, all they have to do is nothing. Pretty much. Pretty much nothing.

But they can't do that. They can't do that. What's that thing? What's that experiment where if you give anybody a small amount of power, they immediately become a tyrant? You give a mouse a mod

and they immediately start sexually harassing every woman. I swear to you, when I used to have the Men Are Better Than Women forums, no matter who I would put in charge of moderating, there would be immediate complaints, petty arguments,

even the very smallest amount of power people cannot handle. I'm bringing this in because of the anti-work debacle. What was that, Dick? Can you explain to me this scenario? I'm going to just play it. I think I could play it. Everyone's seen it, I imagine. Fox News brought this.

What is anti-work, Dick? Well, it's a subreddit where people post funny memes about how work sucks. Yeah. I was on there since the beginning for a long time, and there was this kind of communist element. Well, it's people who want to, more workers' rights. There is a bit of

a communist thing there. Well, yeah, most of them just wanted to not be fucked over by their boss. Right. And work in general.

Yeah. Right? If you have paid time off, you want to take it without the boss complaining. Stop threatening me to all this shit. But then there's

this little splinter group, these Jannies, freaks, that thought it was like their communist comrade, fellow traveler utopia that are like, they don't want to work at all because they can't because they literally have no value. I'm sorry to say, but there's some people who, even if we abolish the Federal Reserve and ratify the original First Amendment, they still have no value. There's a lot of these communist groups where you dig down and you're like, well, what did you do currently?

And they're like, well, I draw anime lolly pictures for $15 a piece on the internet. So you had no labor worth prior to wanting to diminish the worth of labor. Okay. You draw lolly pictures, though. There's got to be some of the... No, I only draw them with me in them. Right. And it's always me shitting my pants.

Yeah. Okay. Well, there's no market for that. So Fox News asked a moderate, a Janny, from the anti-work subreddit, which had like two million people in it. Two million people is a movement. Right. So they picked the best of them to go on Fox News. And the subreddit said, don't, no, don't do it 2 million people in it. 2 million people is a movement. Right, so they picked the best of them to go

on Fox News. And the subreddit said, no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. You gotta have media training. You're going on with like Slick Rick over here. You gotta prepare for these news interviews. Oh, they said I don't know how to describe this woman. Well, I can tell you right now, just describing her

as a woman is very generous. Well, she's a trans woman. She's a trans woman that the doctor doesn't put on the site. I'll put it that way. Yeah. Doesn't put in the slideshow. Before and after. The success stories.

Doctor, did you put all your patients in the before and after slides? Oh, fuck no. Okay, so here's her on Fox News called The War Against Work. It's really sad because I agree with so much of what they're saying. Same. Same. But then I also agree.

Watching this train wreck, I'm like, no, now I agree with the boot. There's a healthy middle ground. Now I agree with the boot. More, bigger boot, please. This person needs to be, this person needs to be put six feet underground under a fucking here we go it's like a good work day how many hours is is you know a solid work who is that guy

oh that's the fox news anchor yeah in case you're listening and you're not watching the video the guy who sounds like a normal man his name's sean wallace but that sounds wrong and then there's a someone who looks green is the name of the moderator i actually made a whole video about this on my veto 2 channel okay let me play it without interrupting yeah day in your ideal society uh sure i mean i think as much as people want i mean i personally uh work i have i have like a 20 25 hour work weeks which i think is really good um so i would like less work hours um less than 25 i'm a dog walker a dog walker oh okay yes and how uh yeah so how old are you if you don't mind me asking sure i'm 30 you're 30 30 year old dog walker okay and is there something you want to do besides being a dog walker do you

aspire to do anything more than dog walker what a shitty question your pinnacle uh i i love working with dogs if i had to do this for the rest of my life you know i wouldn't be super complaining you know dogs are wonderful animals uh but i mean i would love to teach uh i would love to um you know work with people and stuff like that what would you teach story what you're gonna teach? A philosophy, mostly. A philosophy. A critical thinking. A critical thinking! Well, I would love to take your class, Doreen.

I think that's pretty much it, aside from the gloating that the guy does. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a Janny. Taking the hopes and the dreams and the collective momentum and the movement of millions of people who live out their lives in pain and want small changes they want small changes to their movement

to have a better life and this arrogant uh uh neurodivergent attention whore needs to seize, seize their means of, takes all of their means, ironically, all of their means of productions onto themselves to go on television and look like a complete fucking train wreck. Janny, Janny,

that is a classic Janny move. Classic. Couldn't just, couldn't be satisfied with sitting there in a position of power and cleaning up trash like they're supposed to deleting spam messages they had to go and anoint themselves philosophy professor i mean she's got more to offer the world she needs the global stage this she's gonna teach critical thinking dick you couldn't think you couldn't think of a more

horrifying answer who volunteers to be here's here's what i'm thinking is yeah at no point have i ever wanted to be a moderator oh no but there's always people who you know who come to me even they go can i be a moderator on your channel i want to be a moderator yeah why do you want that now some people i'm gonna say maybe have the best of intention they go oh i just think there's too much spam on here and i want to clean it up and i go yeah that's great some of these people though i don't know what they want you pick the wrong mod you come back to your community in 10 seconds destroyed it looks like a fucking box of crayons was thrown all over it everybody's fighting and i mean everybody and this isn't just an internet thing, okay?

BLM was co-opted and ruined by Jannies. Yes. Like the attention whores. Yes. Power-tripping attention whores. They are the very worst. This person deserved worse.

And then it came out, you see, they were like a serial sex pest or something. Yeah. I didn't even know about it. I didn't read anything about that. Sexual impropriety.

And then people are trying to say, well, I believe she's on the spectrum or whatever. I'm like, well, then she should know that she should not be appearing on TV because if you watch the video, she spends the entire time rocking back and forth instead of setting up

the web camera in front of her so she can make eye contact with the camera, the entire time it looks like she's looking down at nothing. And in the background is her unmade bed and the microwave oven where she cooks her chicken nuggets. And you're like, oh. This person has no value in society, never would. Never possibly could. I can walk a dog. That's fine.

You want that, walking your dog? I don't know, man. It's probably going to end up fucking your dog. It's going to work less, by the way. It's going to work less, yeah. So the dogs don't get to walk. No. It's a very quick walk.

Someone else. Dog's like, hey, why do we stop? Why do we keep stopping? She goes, hey, I control the means of production here, Rover. I'm in charge. Cops can be bad jannies yeah yeah it really is people who are seeking power and uh but it's the most petty form of power and it goes to their heads these moderators yeah anointing themselves yeah the thought leaders for some special inherent quality they have as

opposed to being the first person to raise their hand. As opposed to being the person who's willing to do means to my own moderators. That nobody else wants to do. God bless you if you're doing it right. Sure. But if you have this in you, well, it's destroyed. You've destroyed the entire movement.

Any single time the anti-war movement comes up they're gonna go, oh, you mean like that 25 hour a week dog walker who thinks she's really being taxed by the system. Yeah. Would you think she was preparing for this going like, I'm exactly like Martin Luther King Jr.? Yeah, pretty much. Probably better than MLK Jr., really. I'm very well-spoken.

I know when questions are being asked sarcastically. Right. There's no picking up on that. And also, I think he had a great jab afterwards where he's like, oh, right. You know, a professor famously work the least amount of hours for a job. You know, a professor puts in about five hours a week. So that makes sense if you're part of the anti-work movement. You want to be a professor.

We've all dealt with the Jannies they hide in back rooms canceling your accounts yes no accountability they think they're they think they're the one they think they're the ones they think they're a savior enforcing the terms of service protecting protecting an infinite amount of people and they and and we people And we don't need them That's what I'm saying Vote them up Vote it up Big problem

The Jannies Yeah I hear you What was your video about? I just went through the video and I laughed at her picking her nose and shaking back and forth Oh my god I don't know if she fully picked her nose But she kept itching the lip does not look good on a if you want an example how to not do a news interview

this was a great one yeah and i kind of i kind of pick it apart from that angle i'm like listen uh put on put on maybe put on a suit and tie if you need to clean your room maybe don't do it if you have a microwave oven in your in next to your bed maybe don't maybe hide it don't let people know that you microwave hot pockets next to where you sleep do a test do a test right you got a big group there's a does anybody want to check out my setup and see how i look and everyone starts throwing up doreen you're a great gal you're a great dog walker you are not the face of this movie you are not our Rosa Parks I hate to say it

And then they're all dropping like flies They all come in Every single one in that subreddit came in And said actually I'm Spartacus Yes yes I'm a 21 year old Long term Unemployed

Like what's wrong with you people Why are you so fucking deranged Why does the internet Connect normal people Put us one degree away From the Totally and completely deranged. Why does the internet connect normal people, put us one degree away from the totally and completely deranged? We're not built to handle it, handle that. We're built to handle people like us.

And then six degrees of derangement away, you know, maybe that's the big problem with the internet is that it's given all the crazy people a place to interact with our armies. It's given them power because they can hide their power level. They can claim, I'm a normal communist

working for the cause, brother. Yeah. And they show up on Fox News and they go, well, the thing about dog walking, I want to be a professor in critical thinking. And you're like,

all right, you stupid motherfucker. Dick, my problem, my second problem is... Why are they so obsessed with critical thinking? I don't know. What is that? It's when they hear like a buzzword and they just repeat it Why are they so obsessed with critical thinking? I don't know. What is that?

It's when they hear like a buzzword and they just repeat it infinitely. What the fuck is critical thinking? I think it literally, you know, just means... They're just thinking? You're good at thinking. They could teach that? Critical thinking. I don't fucking know.

No. Probably not. Doesn't seem like the kind of thing you can sit a guy down and really... No, you're not thinking critically. I have to teach you. You're not thinking correctly. I'm sure they have classes or something, but I have no idea what they would teach you.

It's for dummies. It's for dummies. It's just the concept is retarded. Critical thinking is, well, if there's steam coming out of the kettle, do you think that the water is hot or cold? And then you get guys like, well, it could be cold. It could be that it's dry ice. And it's like, that's that class.

Could be a condensation rising. Okay. Critical thinking. Anti-work. Dick, my second problem is one that is very close to my heart and has presented a number of challenges in my life. Yeah.

The cowardice of women. Oh, wow. Women are cowards, Dick. Woo! And all of them. Because, wow. Women are cowards, Dick. And all of them. Because they won't go out with us? Well, that's a big part of it. They won't live a little bit?

I think they're afraid of us, Dick. I think so, too. They're afraid of us, themselves, their shadows, the world around them. They're afraid of having a good time. Honestly, they're afraid of having a good time and liking it, and then they're going to want to do it again. I 100% believe that. I think the core of women is this fear, and I think that's what's holding them back in a number of ways.

The fear of God, because God sees what God hates in their hearts. Yeah, that's why he took a rib from Adam. I don't fucking know. I'm not going to get into the Bible. Point is, Dick, original sin. I've had an interaction recently where uh you know i've been trying to pitch these shows that i've been working on various projects yeah got in touch with a female producer probably shouldn't be talking about it on here but hopefully she never listens

to this and we have a great first couple of emails right where i'm all excited i'm like oh this is gonna be great you know she found your cuties though i don't know what she found because you know why because the cowardice of women refuses to let her address whatever the fucking problem is she just vanished yes the ghosting after these emails back and forth oh i can't wait to read your script i'm very excited another email a couple months later and go hey i know you're probably busy you got a lot going on but we've updated it. We got some new concept art in there. Maybe check it out.

Nothing. I let another three months go by. Yesterday, I sent her another email. I'm like, hey, well, you know, I know things get really busy. It's a time of public health crisis. Sure. You know, I'm just really honored that you even thought about taking a look. Nothing.

And you know what I'm going? I'm going, this was a guy. He wouldn't do this. He would just say. A guy would just say either A, hey a hey man it's not for me or b i found some stupid thing you did on the internet i think you're a toxic piece of shit and i don't want to make your show a man would address it head on this is not the first time this has happened to me with a woman this is a common thing there was one time that there was a group like a social group i used to hang out with like

a club of anime weirdos or whatever else and they were all gonna rent a cabin and hang out and i was like oh i remember those guys he's hanging out with those guys i'm like hey can i come and the girl was like yeah sure i'll you know get back to you or whatever and then oh yeah i'll get back to you on that right and then i eventually it just ghosts me out of nowhere and i eventually find out that another woman goes to her and said no no, that guy is an alt-right psychopath. We can't have him. Yeah. Instead of just coming to me and saying, listen, someone is uncomfortable with you being there.

Just be up front. Just tell me. No, they can't. They can't. They can't. Because they're cowards. Yeah. I think they think, what, I'm going to murder them or rape them or something.

I'm like, you know, they think that you're going to make them look stupid. Well, yeah, because that is the thing that women and I think people are more afraid of than anything. Yeah. Is someone going, well, that's dumb. And then they're like. Well, they're exposed. I eventually found their Discord server where they're discussing exactly how toxic I am. And I'm like, well, if you can talk about it here, just fucking tell me.

You found it. Yeah. I found it. Well, cause they had like a, their own little like discord club and I just signed up to it under her name and I searched for Vito. Search under a different name. Yeah. Yeah.

And I'm just like, Oh, cause I wanted to know. I'm like, Oh, well, did something happen? Did I do name? Yeah, yeah. And I'm just like, oh, well, there. Because I wanted to know. I'm like, oh, well, did something happen? Did I do something to somebody? Did I do? Yeah. Yeah, and it was just this one stupid girl who's like a super social, political, whatever the hell. And she's like, that guy's basically a Nazi.

We can't have a Nazi hang out with his head. I'm like, well, at least I know. But can you just tell me I'm a Nazi? Because the thing is, I would. You know, I can pretend to not be a Nazi I would see that girl in real life and she would pretend that nothing was wrong she'd go oh hey how are you how are you know what just tell me that you have a problem with me I know you're a woman what do you think my male rage is gonna manifest I'm gonna slug you in the mouth like no right that's it but here's the thing is it's

not just the gut yeah there will be some of that but it really does manifest itself i think this is the biggest control their emotions they really i mean i'm joking about the sex shit but i think when you when uh an emotion gets too high for women it just spills into all the other emotions yeah and they're they're fucking they're horny they're angry they can't control it at all what's crazy is when they then go like hey this guy keeps he keeps sending me messages he's a stalker and i'm like because you're not saying anything back i need to know i need a firm just give me a firm like i don't want to talk to you and i will stop emailing you but then i have to how many times are you mailing her not that again it's like not that many means many things to no it'd be like i i send like two messages probably like hey did you get my last message and i said one i'm gonna go okay because you're not messaging

getting weird well basically i sent like a third message where i'm like i'm going to assume that you don't want to talk to me yeah i wish i knew exactly what the problem was but i can't force you to talk and that was like the last thing and then they go he's a fucking stalker only a stalker would send a third message like hey i don't know they think you should just get the like they're like why didn't you it's the same thing lindsey ellis just want you to disappear yeah they just want you to be dead honestly yeah yeah go ahead when lindsey ellis and movie bob had that thing where like movie bob was like... Uh-uh.

Okay, so Movie Bob, do you know those guys at all? I know Movie Bob. They're like YouTubers or whatever. I know him because people call him Movie Blob. Yeah, he's a stupid piece of shit. But he had met that Lindsay Ellis girl at some conventions or whatever, and he just assumed they were friendly or whatever. Oh, and he messaged her, and then she said he was stalking.

Yeah, and eventually he was like, oh, that's my friend Lindsay. And she eventually was like, you're not my friend. Haven't you noticed that I keep like doing that thing on Twitter where I block you, but then unblock you. So you automatically unfollow me by proxy. He's like, no, I didn't notice that. Why didn't you just tell? And I remember looking at him like, why didn't you just tell him that you guys aren't friends and that you don't talk to me anymore? Yeah. And instead they do these fucking things where they're like, why didn't you just tell him that you guys aren't friends and that you don't like him? Don't talk to me anymore.

Yeah. And instead, they do these fucking things where they're like, well, you should have picked up on these insane little womanly clues. Yeah. Just tell me up front that I'm an alright psychopath and I'll accept it. Honestly, male rage. This goes on the board. Male rage should go on the board, too, because it's the cause of this. I guess.

I mean, men behave at women. Fucking, they'll sit there and send these outrageous novels. Right. No, some guys go too far. Freakish,

going to their, fucking look what I, look at Maddox. Yeah. A whole fucking lawsuit over, stop talking to me. But they are.

It's impossible to get them to go out because of that, too. I also, you know, you ever hear about the thing where women never negotiate for a higher salary? Yeah. Because they're fucking cowards. The women's pay gap. It's not men's fault. It's that you walk in and you go, I'm going to pay you $30,000.

And the girl goes, well, gee golly gosh, okay. You sure? You know, all right. I'll take less. Yeah, I'll take less I am a woman It's like, no, just fucking stand up for yourself If you have a problem with a guy, say it

If you have a problem with your salary, say it Speak up, women At least tell another woman to say it Do something There has to be a way We need like a drop box Like a safety box Yeah

Like a telegram or something Maybe they could call your dad and your dad could show i mean now you're you know you know yeah once yeah someone's dad not my dad yeah like just what was i gonna say just women need to just learn to speak things out and stop sending little secret clues. Put the phone down. Yeah. That's it. Send the message and block the email if you need to.

I was out having drinks with this girl who's an actress. Yeah. She was like really fretting and agonizing over firing her agent. And she's like, I've been meaning to do it for so long, but now finally I got this new person. Yeah. And I just have to do it. I've been dreading it. I've been dreading it.

I've been putting it off. So I'm out here having some drinks and do it. She's like, what do you think about this email? Is it okay? And I'm like, it's way, way too long. Just say you're fired. Like, thanks for all the time. Thanks for all the help.

I've found better representation. I got a different guy. This is the end of our business relationship. No, no, no, no. My way is better. I don't even know why I suggested anything, to be honest. Honestly, that's the other thing. So she sent it.

She sent this. She added another couple paragraphs to it. Oh, my God. She sent it. Nobody wants to read that. She sent it, and then she goes, a couple seconds later, she goes, oh, my God. I'm like what she goes he just removed me from all of the all of his like roster of access on actors like website or something like where you taking

them off your access for casting and i'm like well yeah you just fired him she goes well yeah but he he didn't even like respond or respond and then the email came back and it was and he said like okay uh thanks for letting me know right i can't believe this i'm like what do you mean you can't believe this what was all this shit for she's like you're right why did i write all that shit like because you're fucking crazy why do you need to coach it it would have been the same thing with these ladies if they just said some of us are uncomfortable having you there because of your politics uh we wish you the best and now you oh great Instead of me living in this

constant, like, who hates me? Why do they hate me? What did I do? I'm never gonna know. Yeah, I'm never gonna know. And it drives you fucking nuts. And yet you voted for a guy whose communication staff is all women. I guess I voted for this. Well, he said he was gonna do that and then he did do it. He made it all women

communication staff. Yeah. Which is the worst. They're writing the longest emails ever right now. Or none. Or none. He made it all women communication staff. Yeah. Which is the worst. They're writing the longest emails ever right now. Or none. Or none. I don't know which is worse. Women in the government writing long emails

or no emails. I just think women need to step up. Stop. Look, I know that you have benefited historically from a culture of victimhood

where you need to create situations where, you know, a guy texts you too many times and you go, yeah, I knew he was a serial killer. I have high value yeah yeah uh-huh ted bundy ted bundy would have tried to rape me act like a professional and an adult if someone sends you a message just answer it back and be speak from the heart speak truthfully and you will have all the respect in the world just do some drugs and get wild, okay? Stop being afraid of everything.

Don't worry. You're going to like it. Yeah. I got bad news for you. You're going to like it. This is a problem that goes in so many different directions. I could talk about this for hours. But really, I think the core problem with the female species

is their cowardice. The cowardice of women. Wow, that's a good one. And you're a woman, so... As a woman, I've felt like more of a coward ever since. You know, women need, like, buttons to communicate. Yeah. That are, like, all, like, shades of, like, uh-huh and, like, uh-uh.

So they get an email. They have to. The phone checks, like, their response. Right. Like, uh-uh. And it at least sends you back that so you at least know it translates that i got a frowny face don't ever text me again or i'm not really i need a little bit of time away and then they go i've been dealing with so much of this it's crazy

yeah um oh god that's horrible you gotta stop dealing with women i think i i if i could i mean they just should not be in positions of power or business. It's clearly a problem here. They can't even facilitate a business transaction. Okay. I'm afraid of what they're going to hear in response. That's a good one. I got a problem for you here.

All right. It's called how do You Open or Pickup Artist Practice. Oh, the PUA's. Do you like PUA's? Those peacocking. I like the concept of peacocking

just because it sounds Oh, really? It sounds fun. I'm like, oh. It is fun. I mean, it's fun the idea that you can trick women with

various psychological tricks. Like, yeah, that's interesting. Yeah. If you wear a fun hat, you know, and then talk shit about them, they'll have sex with you. I mean, it's fun in theory. I don't know how much it works. I feel like wearing a fun hat is just fun.

You know, like it doesn't need to be a trick. No, it's a trick. You can just dress fun for yourself. Oh, you got a peacock dick. And then I feel like just saying what you really think is... I want to sleep with you. Negging.

Like, you're a little annoying, but... Oh, you're kind of fat? Yeah. I don't see a lot of fat chicks in this bar. But you could be fatter. Yeah. Let me pull up this... So this is what the...

You're the least fat of the fat chicks in this bar. That's unacceptable. This is what the pickup artists are doing now. Let me find. Yeah, well, I'll start with this one. The Man Maker X on Twitter. The pickup artist community, I feel bad shitting on them. Like, I hate them.

I wish they were all dead. Yes. But I feel bad. I feel bad because I think what they really don't know how to do is pick up anybody. Like, they don't know how to make connections with people. With human beings in general. Yeah, and they're obsessed with women because they want to get the pussy.

Yeah. So they're like, well, I don't know how to meet women. It's like, bro, you don't know how to meet anybody. These are guys who grew up playing video games with a strategy guide next to them. They never just played the video game. Yeah. It was always, well, where's the chest?

I thought that was going to be dumb, but that's... What is the cheat code? Yeah. How do I get the maximum amount of return? They think that life has little little psychological hacks time events yeah which it doesn't so this is what they're doing now they are the gurus in their space are posting pictures of insanely hot women and saying saying what the woman is saying to them and then saying, quote, how do you respond?

Choose your own adventure scenarios. Sort of. It's also sort of like men pretending to be women and then asking a bunch of men to hit on them online and then deciding internally if that line was good enough for them to have sex with another man. He judges their answers? That's the entire point of this.

Wow. She says, sorry, I don't talk to strangers. He judges their answers? That's the entire point of this. Wow. She says, sorry, I don't talk to strangers. How do you respond? And it's a woman that none of them have any business talking to that you would never see. You would never see a woman

this hot walking around. Like, these guys are acting like they're SEAL Team 6 training for the bin Laden of pussy. But they're not. Yeah. This hot piece of ass has crested the hill at 4 a.m like you're carrying you're working up a fedora yeah yeah some uh male enhancement hot

shot yeah at oh 1200 hours she comes storming over the dune how will you react uh and the and and he does this to ostensibly sell his uh weirdo materials books and pamphlets but these guys will try to respond with actual like cyber sex i guess to this man who's pretending to be this this pickup artist who's pretending to be this woman and not and i'm not like exaggerating that's what he's doing a bit of erotic role play that's what i'm that's what i'm seeing here uh i would i uh let's see oh yeah here's a here's a great one it's okay so they line up one by one was i don't talk to strangers what how do you respond to i don't talk to strangers it's okay you don't need to talk for now Just listen what I have to say This is a man

Who said this to another man Pretending to be the lady I don't think this theoretical lady would I don't talk to strangers Okay well just listen to me Just listen to what I have to say Well let's make it so that we aren't They're putting these in quotes like this is

Like they're handing in a homework assignment Oh yeah oh yeah Okay let me rack my brain so that we aren't. They're putting these in quotes like they're handing in a homework assignment. Right. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay, let me rack my brain. What if I was in this situation? Oh, no. Here's Christian.

Christian Gomez has a pretty good one right here. Well, it's a good thing we just met. Smiley face? He's going to smiley face in real life. He's going to smiley face, sir. Name's Christian. Hands out. Hand for a handshake.

Vito, look at these men. You could not tell that these are sick men. There's no visible indication of disease or dysfunction on them. He's going for the hard stop with the handshake. I find that girls want men to approach them for a firm handshake. That's what a woman... Let me get my hands on you. Let me get my hands on you.

Okay. Let me get another one up your arm I'm running for office Yeah most women don't want a handshake This guy says my name is blank These are all in quotes Which somehow makes it even more bizarre Because all they're doing is responding With what they would say

There's no need to put quotes around it He's not mistaking First of all he doesn't care He's no need to put quotes around it. He's not mistaking. First of all, he doesn't care. He's just trying to sell you weirdos his garbage. Audiobook. Coaching services probably. Yeah, of course. My name is blank there. I'm no longer a stranger. And his

name is right here in his thing. Roger Juice. So he just said blank so somebody else can pick up that advice. He's providing the template for other men. He's helping. Bro, I can't take this. Yeah. I might print that one out, you know, so I have my cheat sheet.

When I meet a woman at a bar, she says a line, and then I check my book for all potential lines that I get from a girl. I go, hold on, hold on, hold on. This is so much worse when all the pedophile stuff was on YouTube. Yeah. And that guy was going through all the... You search for how do you open? And it's like role playing after role...

Look at this guy. She says, this is PUA dating tips. She says, sorry, but I have a boyfriend. So lockdown has so prevented the different sexes from meeting that now men are pretending to be women insanely hot women yeah to do men men are catfishing other men into hitting on them under the guise of giving this is the future artist tips this is the future it's eating bugs living in the tube and talking to men pretending to be women and flirting with Indian men yeah that have an anime

whatever that you have an anime avatar I don't have an anime avatar I have a do you have Vito Chan? well yeah I do have that yeah that's what I mean

yeah well Vito Chan is a precious flower she says sorry but I have a boyfriend how do you respond? I go well thank you for your time and I leave because

look at Vito look at this somebody posted the the dentist from the implication. Well, I take her out on a boat because, you know. Wait, are you going to hurt women? No, no, no. It's the implication. I said, where's the crapper?

I wasn't inviting you. Some people are having fun with this. Yeah, not enough. Not enough. You're going hiking. You see this young woman stretching. How do you open? How do you open? How do you open?

Nice morning workout. Do you live here? Do you live on the mountain? That's a banger. Yeah. Wow. Amazing. You see why women are afraid?

Yeah. Imagine if you're just doing a stretch and you got to deal with 10,000 fucking door cupping. Go up. Go up.

What a beautiful view and amazing sunlight. Can I be your guard? What the fuck? Imagine, Vito, imagine that these people were trying to talk to you all day, every day. I would fucking kill myself.

I'd be too afraid to answer their emails, frankly. I would wish that I was good enough at science and math to construct some kind of a bomb to wipe them all out I like the idea of can I be your guard is that these guys are like

want to go back to the age of knights traveling knights I pledge my axe to you this is men having a romcom together okay it's madness it's uh yikes This is men having a rom-com together. Yeah. Okay? It's madness.

It's, uh, yikes. Uh, excuse me? Well, the whole pickup dating, the whole idea of the pickup advice. You're at a museum and you see this young woman dressed provocatively. I go, uh, miss, this is inappropriate attire for your museum. Yeah. None of them have the right answer either. Nice dress.

Where did you buy it? How kind of fun. No woman wants. I mean, you know what? Women probably do want to talk about where they bought their clothes. That might be a good fucking pickup line. Uh, great view of the city from this bridge. Do you come here often?

Do you come here often? Do you come here often? One of those quotes. In quotes. In quotes. These people have got to be stopped. These people are ruining, they're ruining anything good that we have with women.

Yeah. Is fucked to death by these people. Again, I think it's the gamification of life. These people believe that the skills they've picked up from playing World of Warcraft, they think life is a dialogue tree. Where when you meet a woman, there's three options.

Either, yes, I'll take you to the castle. No, I do not know where the renegades are. Or do you have any power caps for sale? And if you pick the right one, you win the girl. It's easy. Yeah. Do you want any cocaine? Do you want any cocaine? Do you want any cocaine?

Honestly, that's pretty good. Duh. Who's going to say no to that? Who's going to say no to it? And if they say no, you go, well, is it okay if I do something? Yeah, good. Get out of here. Who needs you?

Scram. Beat it. Fat so? Okay. What are our problems for this week? Political scientists Political scientists Mine was I forget

Shit Mine was the Oh yeah, mine was the Jannies Jannies Political scientists, Jannies Mine was the cowardice of women Maybe I should put bad Jannies Bad Jannies

You know there's some good ones Bad, yeah, bad Jann put Bad Jannies. Bad Jannies. You know, there's some good ones. Yeah, Bad Jannies. Bad Jannies. Political Scientists. The Cowardice of Women. Oh, man. That better be a high score.

Cowardice of Women. I think that might be a good one. And Pickup Artist, whatever, though. How do you open? How do you open? Pickup PUA LARPing? PUA Dialogue. Pickup Artist Strategy Guide.

Fucking Interactive Manuals. I don't know. You'll figure it out on the site. PUA LARPing? PUA Dialogues. Pick up artist strategy guide. Fucking interactive manuals. I don't know. You'll figure it out on the site. PUA LARPing. You'll see it on the site. Where do I vote, Dick? Biggestproblem.show. Vote on the problems. Vote them up.

Patreon.com slash biggestproblem is the Patreon. We got to get that thing over 4,000 bucks. I want to get it over 4,000. We're going to do it. We got to do another bonus episode at some point. Yeah. To push people there. But we're going to get it over 4,000. We're going to do it. We got to do another bonus episode at some point. Yeah. To push people there. But we're going to get that Patreon moving.

Thanks to all our supporters. Are you coming to the show, by the way? The Dick Show live event? Absolutely. Okay, good. Josh Denny's coming. Is that March? Nick's coming too.

So you guys can have an in-person fight. I think me and Nick are going to be friends. Maybe Nick would do this show. I think Nick's going to find out that he really likes me. Yeah. These guys take this stuff too seriously. Oh, you take it way too seriously. What are you talking about? You get so angry on Twitter.

Yeah, but it's all part of the fucking... No, no, no, no, no. I don't get angry. I troll them the whole time. It's all part of the theater. Okay. It's kayfabe. It's wrestling. Come on. Okay. These guys get all get all fucking uh here we go voicemails hey dick how's it going it's cypher from texas i'm watching the biggest problem and i've never laughed so much in my life why do you say hi to you and not me i'm a black guy

and that's why yeah Vito has just mentioned quinoa. He's making a joke about how he's playing basketball in the basketball court. And they have brought quinoa to the

picnic. To the fucking picnic. the picnic to the fucking fuck the picnic yeah and i don't know what that is i looked it up to read what it is it's like a grain yeah it's like kind of like rice so i cannot know what it is until i wake up tomorrow that was what made you laugh what What the fuck is quinoa? What is that? Fucking rice It's like rice, man It's not exactly rice But you can cook it

What do you think it is? I'm gonna tell you I'm just I really like I really like this call I really like this call Literally, I've never laughed this much Because Vito said he brought quinoa

To the basketball game picnic And I don't know what quinoa to the basketball game picnic. And I don't know what quinoa is. Well, I'm glad that tickled you, Collin. Thank you. There you go. Oh, this is a good one. Vito, you're a fucking idiot.

Oh, thank you. When you vote, you're voting on propositions. You're voting for a policy there. When you vote for a fucking candidate, you're voting for that fucking candidate. Take some goddamn responsibility. Stop playing the victim. Oh, I didn't vote for this. I didn't vote for this. You voted for the fucker. And that goddamn responsibility. Stop playing the victim. Oh, I didn't vote for this. I didn't vote for this. You voted for the fucker, and that's what you're gonna

get. It's everything they do. Good, bad, what they said, and what they didn't say, and all the other shit. We voted for Trump. We took responsibility. So you're responsible for Black Lives Matter rampaging through the street. That's what we say. We take responsibility that

we voted for Trump. We say we didn't like that. Or we do like that. Okay? Take your responsibility for who the fuck you picked. Oh, you don't even know who you picked? You're the worst voter. This is 100% right. I think the biggest problem is uninformed worst voters like you.

Uninformed worst voters like you. You guys all voted for cancel culture and Black Lives Matter protests. You voted for mask mandates. You voted for cancel culture and Black Lives Matter protests. You voted for cancel culture. You voted for mask mandates. You voted for vaccines. That was a state governor thing, you dickhead. Trump could have stopped it.

He could have stopped it. So you voted for it. I agree. I didn't vote for the mask mandates. I voted for a guy who didn't shut them down. It's true. It's not the same thing. You for the mask mandates. No, you voted for the mask mandates. I voted for a guy who didn't shut them down. The same thing. Same thing. It's not the same thing.

Same thing. You voted for mask mandates. It's all your problem. No, he said- Congratulations. It's a states' rights thing. No, no, no. Yeah, and so you voted for it because he did it. I vote for states' rights, yeah.

Absolutely. All of you voted for cancel the call. Every cancellation that happened under Trump is your fault. No. No. Because Trump could have stopped it or whatever the fuck. Well, they ramped. If Trump was there, everybody's got to kind of watch their ass.

Like, they didn't fuck him over until he was on his way out. You voted for him. And then when Biden is, that's when they ramped up. They made it so bad. I think it got better. I think it's better now. No, it's way worse. Biden's made it much better.

Everyone's calmed down Biden's about to cancel Bitcoin You voted for that Hopefully that doesn't happen I didn't vote for anything I'm never voting again This is the stupidest shit in the world I'm so sick of this voting

If Biden cancels Bitcoin whose fault is that Yours probably Because you should have voted harder For whatever I don't care I hate all this What does that yours probably? Yeah. Cause you should have voted harder for whatever. I don't care. I hate all this. All right. Yeah.

My biggest problem is people who keep saying, follow the science and, and listen to science. Yeah. Clearly are not because studies keep coming out, contradicting the narrative that you hear on the news. And you hear it over and over and over again.

Almost as though it's a advertising campaign. Not science-like at all. So, follow the science, idiot. Bob Saget is still alive. I hated when I was a kid. I hated the idea of teaching everyone science, because they're

fucking dumb. Even when I was two, three years old, I'm like, you motherfuckers, nobody better teach these people that, nobody better teach these people the idea that you can understand things that are beyond you. Yeah. Somebody's filling their heads with a lot of confidence, like they could understand anything, and they can't, they can barely

understand how to balance a checkbook because they're fucking stupid. Well, I told you that's my problem with public schools. It gives people just enough education to be confident but not enough education to actually be smart yeah i would rather we just have dumb unconfident people who go well i never went to school i don't know nothing about that that'd be fine instead they're like i went i took middle school science i know everything about oh god why do we give these people any amount of confidence okay Okay, one more. Oh, tell me about the lap dance.

I love that recurring bit. The real reason Vito doesn't want to admit. Didn't we already do this one? We already did this one. Kristen Dunst. Yeah. I have a good memory for this stuff. All right, let's do, well, that one's probably, this one's fine.

Then we'll do voice, super chats. Hey, what's up? Be gone dick this is Jay Hawk from the discord and my biggest problem is people who complain about Media being too long. Okay, so like the vetoes brought this fucking voicemail with that one Where it listed that 500 hours is required to complete... Yeah. ...the game at 100%.

Yeah. No. So, like, how is that, like, a bad thing? Because it takes time away from developing the core of the game. It doesn't, though, does it? I guess not. Because you're busy making videos about hotels but those are great videos it's just uh-huh like i've been playing through this game called tales of arise and i've been

having such a great time completing side quests and the main story and it's a pretty long game as most JRPGs are it is funny that this guy sent the longest possible voicemail the media needs to be so short that you can't resonate with something that long kind of yeah by the time I get to the end

of a 60 hour game I can barely remember what the fuck I started what it started off as but the point is as I tried to make when you make something that long it means that there's less I would prefer that you spend the time and effort on tightly

polishing so what's how much time you want to spend on a game on a video games then I think it's a solid if like a solid game is like 20 hours that's it that's a lot of hours I spent on Red Dead Redemption 2, I spent like probably 60 hours on that game. 20 hours for like

the main fucking thing, like the main thrust. But then all the other extra shit. All the other extra shit, there should be like another 20 hours. What game, what game playing straight through is 500 hours? Nothing. No, I'm not saying any game the core fucking thing is 500 hours. You don't like that there's extra stuff?

They pack too much of that shit in and it's never good. Like what? What's an example? What are you doing in Red Dead Redemption that you like? I'm trying to make a hat. A bear hat. Alright. Neil, thank you for proving my point. What? It's fun! It's fun to try and make a hat in the cowboy game. Yeah, you gotta kill perfect bears

and then drag their ass all the way to the furrier. All right, man. I guess if you just want to waste your time making fake cowboy hats. I'd rather do that than go to bed. All right, good point. Just play another game. There's so many fucking games.

But none of them are any good. Cyberganic for $2 says the monetization is working. CG for $5 says this is what Vito voted for. Rydog tosses $2 in the chat With a sticker That says cool It's a pear Isn't that a bird? It's a bird

Look at this It's got a leaf on its head I don't know what it is Adolf Wolf $1.99 Good to finally catch a live show Keep it up Pop quiz for $1

Sends a sticker of a Alright I'm not going to call it your stickers It's a bird with A dollar sign It's a dollar sign An emoji Spider Eternal $2 Put long slash tall sizes in the store

Or get graped Again the I Like Jokes shirts are available At shop.dick.show Yeah I'll put them up They're coming back Will be the final printing I imagine So if you want one Come get one

Purple money monkey dishwasher Says Dr. Scholl was born In La Porte, India Studied at Loyola University Studied at Loyola University, Chicago And studied medicine at University of Chicago You're just fucking calling that guy a Nazi and he's straight up from America?

This is all invented after the fact. Who's spreading fucking false information now? Who the fuck? They brought him over and then they invented entire backstories for him. They brought him over from Indiana? No, they brought him over from Germany and then they give him a falsified American documents, passport, history. Why would they do that? It's like the witness, because they don't want him to know that Nazis are making your

feet better. They were bragging about bringing Nazi scientists over. Would you buy Dr. Scholl, now that you know that he's a Nazi, are you going to buy Joe Scholl? I would buy two, honestly. Well, yeah, because you know it's perfect German engineering, but a lot of other people are put on. But it's not.

It's American. No, no, no. That's all fake. Dr. Scholl was born In La Porte, Indiana He was a German Foot scientist Who was brought over

With Oppenheimer And the rest of them He was not He was not Yes You can look it up It's Oppenheimer was not brought over

Oppenheimer was born in New York What are the ones Who were the German ones though Schnitzelgruber Yeah Hans Gruber Dr.el Gruber. Yeah. Hans Gruber. Dr. Hans Gruber. Dr. Scholl was one.

Dr. Pepper, a famous beverage scientist. Dr. Simon Gruber also. All the doctors came over. Art Vandele. Dr. Art Vandele. Dr. Art Vandele. I was giving you

the bad guys from Die Hard. Yeah, I got Gruber. I got it. Heisenberg. Point is, Dick, that they falsified American identities for these guys. And then, I don't know, Dr. Scholl was very successful. He opened a private practice. All right.

Fire Chicken 217 says, honestly, I would be fine with four 10- hour shifts being the norm at this point that's bizarre no instead of a whole work week yeah but I agree with the four day work week or whatever but why 10 hours it should be six hours you can't you know most of the work they like looked into it it's like most of the eight hours you just spend dicking around

and not getting anything done it's two and a half hours I think you're only productive for like two hours out of the day yeah it's a waste of everybody's time. But people need it. The people that would keep you there are like, they're addicted to The Office. Yeah.

I think. Like I said, the only thing I did in The Office was look at porn and play Magic Arts. Ryu Ranzow says, $10. Vito is the funniest female comedian

in the universe. That is correct. Thank you. Good one. Mike Hunt for $5 says I canceled my Netflix subscription because of cuties and switched to Tubi after hearing about it at a festival called

Tubi Fair. Fuck! God damn it! Damn it! That was good. He got me good. Do you not read ahead? I was trying to sound it. I just didn't read it out loud. I could have done that.

Okay, go ahead. But I went along with the bit. Username for $5 says, Vito, you should just tell women that if they don't tell you why you're rejected, you'll find out through Discord. Cut to the chase. Yeah, these women should know in advance

that you're going to post. I'm going to stalk them and find out. Yeah. You could put a really hot guy on Tinder or something and match up and then go like, hey, so have you ever heard of this guy Vito? If I'm going to be ostracized from an entire social group, I just want to find out why, you know?

I'm saying it's not like everybody in there. Some of those guys I'm still friends with, but you know. Women don't care. They don't care about anything. No. That's it. Well, they're cats okay big problem show patreon.com slash biggest problem see ya do I play the music to go

out I don't know let's try it now that sounds weird play the other music now that's a bonus episode okay I guess I just don't okay bye