The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 31

Episode Date: March 7, 2022

Keyboard Warriors, Bread Tacos, Futurama Fans

Are you talking shit about Sean's- It's not talking shit, it's interesting. Sounds like he has a fun quirk. Would you say that to his face? Some people have a fun quirk. Would you say it to his nipples? Would you say it to his cock? Alright.

It's his trademark, it's like somebody with a lazy eye, you know? It's fun. It's not a bad thing. Lazy eyes are hilarious. Yeah, lazy eyes are great. Why aren't you in dark mode, you fucking Philistine? Oh, fuck off with the dark mode. I hate that.

I hate that complaint. Oh, I should tweet because I'm... Yeah, you're 300 followers on your new account. No,

from the show account, cocksucker. Oh, I'm going to rake you over the fucking coals. I know. Fan evasion on Twitter. I didn't know you were coming in.

I didn't prepare anything in I didn't prepare anything I didn't prepare anything either I was going to say if you brought in the problem of obesity I'm just destroyed what can I do I'm bringing in a real problem that I have I was like I could bring in

predatory voice actors we're streaming now by the way god damn it I was like, I could bring in predatory voice actors, but I got to look up a bunch of facts. Oh, we're streaming now, by the way. God damn it. I was like, I got to look up a bunch of facts and shit. I don't deal with this. Let's see. You have to look up a bunch of facts to prove your conclusion? Well, you know, I got to look up all these details and shit.

Maybe you should read a study. Maybe a medical study or two. I should read a study. What does Biden say about preying on? Is this the whole show? Is this the whole show? Just Biden and medical shit? Yes. Is the election is that our problem? Medical

shit. COVID non... Oh, we can't talk about it. I thought you were saying obesity is the medical problem. Diabetes is a sidebar. Obesity is a white privilege problem. Diabetes. Obesity is a woman problem. The coo.

Well, you said it. I know a bunch of obese guys who don't give a shit. As a woman. I have a bunch of friends who are obese. I can talk about it. Yeah. I have an adipose friend. What's adipose? That fucking fat tissue. Like whale? No, is that fat tissue is adipose tissue?

I've never heard of that. What part of you is that tissue? No, is that fat tissues, adipose tissue? I've never heard of that. Where is that? What part of you is that tissue? All of it. Well, all of you. Like it's what's hanging out? Yeah. No, that's a lymphedema.

What is that? I don't know any of these terms. A lymphedema? Yeah. Yeah. What's that thing Ralph has? I thought you read medical studies. Jesus Christ.

Alcoholism? I read medical studies. Oh, yeah. People have a theory. What do you mean, what's that thing Ralph has? mean what's that thing Ralph has What did you mean by that I heard about this You think you can curry Nick's favor By shitting on Ralph

No I'm just Look at how uncomfortable you are Already Just being this close to Nick I'm just feeling out You know if it's gonna be If it going to be the two conservative douchebags ripping on the liberal for like two hours, then all right. That's why you're uncomfortable?

Oh, no, I'm not uncomfortable. I'm just preparing to be the focal point of some ire. Wait, you're a liberal, right? Yes. Well, centrist. Wait a minute, is that wait a minute is that why you think is that why you're is that what you think is going to be happening conservatives versus liberals here i don't know we'll see well i was just gonna ask since you're a liberal uh

yeah that means you've had anal sex this can't be more uncomfortable than that had anal wait do conservatives not have anal sex no've had it. What do you mean you mean taking yeah? Okay, no no no that's what I'm talking, but you've given you've given anal. I don't discuss that Okay It would bring Jesus back would you would you get pegged no? Really that's like the whole thing. I'm not taking one for that team This is God. I would take one up the ass for Jesus Christ.

You would? Sure. He can do it on his own. He doesn't need your help. Well, God can do a lot of stuff on his own, Nick. You know, like fixing all of this stuff. Right. So if he's saying you need to get pegged, I'm like, listen.

Oh, that's a test. Listen, asshole. Like Abraham killing his son. Get pegged to bring my son back? No. You passed. Exactly. If you say no, you passed. Exactly. If you say no, then Jesus comes back.

I get it. But see, if it was Abraham, you'd have to put the leather bit in. You'd have to lay down naked, ass up. The guy would have to be there about to penetrate you. And then an angel would come in and stop him and be like, no, you have to stop. Right? And then, because that's what he did with abraham oh yeah yeah you

know i went to that place where that happened yeah where the abraham was hell where he tried to kill his kid yeah okay it's in israel they have a uh they have a uh printout in a piece of in a plastic sheet yeah that's in there that's masking taped to a gate that says this is where Abraham tried to kill or whoever tried to kill Isaac. It was Abraham, yeah. Yeah, and they're

and they're serious, Nick. Yeah. They really mean and it's right across the street from Jesus' corpse. It's all in the same place. It's like a 12 block area is the entire Bible.

It is interesting how far the Jews did not travel I love the map Would you? What? Would you travel as a Jew back then? No but I also wouldn't tell people Like oh we had to wander through the desert

For 80 years When it's like You guys guys just kind of went in a bunch of circles You guys went in a circle Yeah they were just walking around the block I think you guys just got lost man It's like 30 miles You just walk in one direction instead of turning.

All right, are we ready for the show? I'm pretty sure I saw that live. No, that's the cold open, Nick. Oh, okay. Don't worry, all your comedy gold. No, I'm just saying. Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe!

The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from nuclear war to butts that are sore. Ah! You. Am I about Putin? I'm your host Dick Manchester. Join me as always as Vito Gisualdi.

Good rhyme there. Joining us together in studio is Nick Ricada. The man, the myth, the legend. Wow. What a talk about. He stumbles on legend. I was trying to think of what would be funny to put there.

I'm like, I got nothing. He's trying to kiss ass desperately because of all the mean things he's said about Nick. No, I don't say mean things about Nick. Nah, it's good. It's good. No? We had a little...

You didn't call him retarded? Did I call him... Well, I call everyone retarded. You didn't call him a grifting psychopath? I call everyone a grifting psychopath. But that's true, though. I've not treated him any differently than I treat everyone else. As long as you say true things, I don't care.

Yeah. Okay. Grifting psychopath. I'm proud of Nick. That was a tense moment upstairs. I'm proud of Nick. That was like't care. Okay. I'm proud of Nick. That was a tense moment upstairs. That was like the Yalta conference. I'm proud of you. You've grown so much.

Well, I'm always growing. I'm not talking about your fat. I'm saying you've grown. You showed up on Infowars. It was very brave. That was fun. You got banned from Twitter and then bannivated on Twitter, which is very brave to do. Because, I mean, they were just enforcing their And then ban-evaded on Twitter Yes Which is very brave to do

Yes Because I mean They were just enforcing their terms Hold on I'm not back on Twitter I'm not back on Twitter Well okay you got an assistant Or whatever I got an assistant to run

I mean you have so few followers now It is basically like You're not on Twitter I know it's great It's much better than it was before Do you miss having like clout? No Looking like a big shot

Women are like Wow that's a lot of followers Now you're like nothing. Yeah. It's great because everyone leaves me alone and I can just be a little pissy piece of shit and nobody can call me out for it. It's back to when Twitter used to be fun for me. How many followers did you have?

Failing. I had about 30,000. God fucking sucks. To lose all that? Yeah. No, this is great. I mean, I guess. I can't.

I couldn't Best decision I ever made Getting banned from Twitter That's what he's saying The only bad thing Best thing that ever happened to me I've said this The only bad thing is losing the networking

And the verifieds who followed me and shit But I'm doing Losing the account is the only bad thing He's saying Losing the account Which is what Yeah

Yeah that's the worst part The worst part of losing the account Is losing the account You're saying it was The growth that Vito showed By flagging InfoWars And then going on it Losing the account, which is what, yeah. Yeah, that's the worst part. The worst part of losing the account is losing the account. You're saying it was the growth that Vito showed by flagging InfoWars and then going on it. And then going on InfoWars. That was beautiful. It was amazing. I mean, it was a pretty good bit.

It's like, but my problem is not with Harrison Hill or whatever the fuck that guy's name is. I like that guy. Now you're shitting on him. See? Now you're shitting on another guy that might be in Studio Sunday. I just said I like him. Or whatever the fuck that guy's name is. That's very disrespectful.

I don't remember his name. Isn't it Harrison Hill? Oh, my God. Yeah, but you wouldn't say whatever the fuck that guy's name is. That's so derogatory. Oh, my God. You guys are nippy. Harrison Hill's great.

Yeah, I know. He was a very nice guy. Hired by Alex Jones. Whatever the fuck his name is. He's a psychopath, you know, who ruins the lives of dead children's parents, but sure I mean whatever How did he ruin the way you think you think the worst thing that happened? I will to be fair with our kid being shot in the face, but let's just pile on A fat guy in Austin. Pile on.

Who? You? You're the victim in the Sandy Hook shooting? You are the victim? I would say I'm part of the victimhood here. Because I cared for those kids. What a fucking liberal. I drove past Sandy Hook when I was living in Massachusetts.

You drove through Connecticut? Drive-by? You did a drive-by at Sandy Hook? I saw the sign, exit Sandy Hook, and I made a little, you know. What's that? You know, the sign of the cross poured one out for the kids

I love those kids that's great very Catholic of you do you do the sign of the cross? when I'm in Catholic church yeah do you go to church every Sunday?

we do church at home me too I do that faster shut the fuck up what do you mean? dude I I do an overnight show so I go to bed at like 5 in the morning on Saturday. So you can't go to church.

Do you prepare a sermon? No, no, no. Oh, you watch somebody? Yeah, our church, it's like right down the block. And in the summers, sometimes we'll walk over there, but it's cold in the winter, right? And so you got to try and get five kids up and dressed and over to a church. It just doesn't work. I mean, getting kids dressed.

What the fuck does that mean? I'm about the opposite, right? Let's get these kids undressed. You know what I'm saying, Vito? You know what I'm saying. No, I don't. Jesus Christ. Now I have to build.

Do I have to physically staple you guys to the wall before shooting you? This whole show. You think you're going to win? I'm going to call my boys at the top. Right? Hey, this guy's hassling me for taking little kids' pants off. Take them out. Wait, like the-

Take them out. Are you talking about the- Homo, homo, pedophile elite. Yeah, the pedo- Yeah, you got no chance. The pedo black ops? The pedo black ops are going to come and take me out? Uh-huh.

Very concerned about that. Epstein's army, man. They're still out there. They haven't caught all those guys. Last week. Nuclear war. What was with the voting this week? It was all fucked.

Excuse me? I went and I checked and Vladimir Putin was destroying. And all of a sudden, Dick's problems Dick being the only guy with access to the back end Goes wow He writes wordpress scripts

Again I don't know man It was just jumping around like crazy It was weird Well it's been a rough week Whereas Putin is concerned Oh you think people's opinions on Putin have softened Yeah they realize

he's right. They see all these women taking their shirts off and they see like Russians getting banned from stuff and Russian cats are not allowed. Did you even think about the thoughts, Vito? Did you even spare a moment of your copious amounts of time

to give a thought to Russian women? From OnlyFans? They were briefly and then they got brought back. Yeah. Because the weight of OnlyFans average jumped up about 30 pounds.

Like, get these brats back. Get them back in. Look, Rolling Stone did an article and saved them. Well, it seems unfair to,

you know, take away their ability to do sex work, which is very important. Bob's and Vagina. Yeah. Very important. Very important. Bobs and vagina. Yeah. Very important. Very important.

I have to see their uteri through their vagina on OnlyFans. Can I still get a Russian mail-order bride or is that all shut down as well? You can get a lot

of Ukrainian ones. You can probably get a two-for-one special. Yeah, the Ukrainians are probably real cheap right now. I would imagine they're desperate.

Yeah, you need money to have a Russian-order bride. Actually, I don't think you do. Yeah, that need money to have a Russian order bride. Actually. Do you? I don't think you do. Yeah, that's the point. No, Russians are poor too. You need some money.

No, we were doing this on Flashcast. Cecil was showing the promo videos from the Ukrainian mail order bride service. Yeah. Where you like go over and hang out with like 30 Ukrainian women. Oh, wow. And I don't know that those guys had any money at all. Like just enough for the ticket. And they got a pick of 30 women?

I don't know how that. Well, the women kind of pick you. Well, you can't just like grab one. But trust me, their standards are very low. Yeah. Very low. That really tickled you. You're like, I'd figure it out somehow.

Yeah, I'd figure out how to. No, like, you should watch some of these. Their standards are. But isn't, like, the package, like, you pay the guys, like, 20K for the whole thing? I think you have to fly them over. You have to pay the legal fees. Are you guys talking about the Scores tour? A bunch of those models, big tip models on a boat that you cruise around with?

No. You go over there, and you, like, basically, there's, like, a bunch of Ukrainian women, and you, you go over there and you like, basically there's like a bunch of Ukrainian women and you like speed date all of them, right? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. It's a service. And at the end of the day you hope one of them is like, please take me back to America and save me from this hellhole. And that's what Putin doesn't want? Yeah. Oh,

fuck him then. He should have voted that up. That's what he's trying to shut down. Price of admission was next. See, I'm surprised that was number two. Yeah, but that's like, you know, everything's expensive. to shut down. Price of admission was next. See, I'm surprised that was number two. Yeah, but that's like, you know, everything's expensive. What the hell does price of admission mean?

Just the, like, ball games cost more, Disney tickets cost more. Everything's expensive. What do you mean sell? That sucks. Who cares? Well, people who want

to go to fun things. Everyone who's not rich like you. Maybe they should get rich. Yeah, all right. Yeah, okay. You just go find money. Yeah, just run live streams

where people donate hundreds of thousands of dollars. I've been telling people for years, just do that. And they don't listen. We're doing it right now! Has anyone donated a dollar? No. Why not? Because they hate us. Do you have superchats turned on? I don't know if I have them turned on. We get some superchats.

Guys, what the hell are you doing? Put some superchats in the show. Ask me a stupid question. No, no, no. Exactly. We'll read them all. Vladimir Putin was third. At least it was positive. I thought it would go negative.

Yeah. And then you're stupid, bro. Flip-flops breaking. Flip-flops breaking. That's bullshit. They said that's not a problem? Yeah, they downvoted that. Do these people even wear flip-flops?

They probably don't leave the house. Fucking embarrassing. If you've ever had a flip-flop break, like on my last one- It's the worst thing that ever happened to you! My last one, the sole, the bottom layer of the sole, like, tore away. Yeah. And so when you walk, it falls down and scrapes on the concrete.

I know. I fucking hate it. I know. It's terrible. You have a relationship with your flip-flop. Do you wear them? No, you were supposed to give me a pair. Take them. I got them.

I'll give them to you. Mine are from Florida, and they have drains in them, so you walk in the water, and it literally drains and pours out the side. That's amazing. They're great, and they're comfy as shit. Okay. Hale Kieser said, Putin did nothing wrong. The right to secede.

Go ahead. Go on. Is it going to be like that? Like, are you part of the resistance? I am part of it, yes. Scream and rant. Vito, have you considered joining FEMIN? I thought FEMIN was the feminist yeah fighting thing are they in Ukraine right now

Ukrainian femen is the greatest feminist organization on the planet are they really yes oh what do you mean why are they the greatest they're very effective

are they the ones that painted their tits different colors yeah they're the ones who are always they're naked oh yeah yeah that's the whole as a woman I should support that's what I'm saying my fellow women Are they the ones that painted their tits different colors? Yeah, they're the ones who are always naked. Oh, yeah. Well, as a woman, I should support my fellow women. I saw a shot of a bulldozer bulldozing all those naked, half-topless ladies with their tits painted into a ditch. And I said, that can't be real.

Every time Putin does something like that, I support him a little bit less. Oh, my God. These women, do they turn on the news and put their fingers in their shirts just getting ready to rip them off, do you think? When the news crews come through? Probably. They're like, that's it. Here I go. It's all about the propaganda war.

Putin did nothing wrong. The right to secede should be universal. That's what he says. Wait, that doesn't make any sense. What do you mean? He's saying the Ukrainian right to secede should be universal. That's what he says. Wait. That doesn't make any sense. What do you mean? He's saying the Ukrainian right to secede. Those two territories. Yeah, the Donbass right to secede. Okay, I was going. They don't want to be

part of a Nazi country. They don't want to be part of Ukraine. Which you said Biden paid for Nazis to come in? The CIA funded. The CIA funded. I couldn't find any sources on that. Well, why would the CIA tell you what they're... Well, why do you know? Who's your CIA contact?

When did we figure out that the CIA was funding Al-Qaeda? All right, where'd you hear this? On Infowars? I fucking heard it by having a clue. All right. About what's going on in the world. Dick figured it out. Through the fucking...

Brain paint. Ether. Says, listening to Dick protect Putin from criticism is hilarious. A dick talking out of his ass. You are so goddamn contrarian you have to literally take any

position just to be edgy. Wow. I think you have to agree with that guy to be edgy now. No. Because that's the edgy take. His take? Yeah, his take is that you're a piece of shit and so you need to take that take the edgy take. His take? Yeah, his take is that you're a piece of shit, and so you need to take that take. Oh, yeah.

But I have to disagree with him. No, you have to agree with him. No. Because everybody else... This guy. Welcome to the arguing department, Nick. This isn't an argument. This is abuse.

You guys are being too contrarian today. I love that you can't point to one thing the U.S. government has ever done correctly, but I say, well, this... Putting fluoride in the tap water. No, that's not... I don't think that was... Now we have better teeth.

We don't have as many cavities. Flint, Michigan agrees with you. Yeah, well... But you criticize one thing they're doing and you're a contrarian. Like, well, they've never done anything right. What do you mean? How's that contrarian?

They've done some things right. What did they do? I don't know. I didn't bring a list with me. Well, they've never done anything right. What do you mean? How's that contrarian? They've done some things right. What did they do? I don't know. I didn't bring in a trail of tears. Slavery. Setting up a democracy. I did not say slavery.

He did. I heard that's what he didn't say. They did not do a good job doing democracy. How about ending slavery? They didn't do that fucking either.

They said if you're a criminal, you're still a slave. They even wrote it in there specifically. We're getting rid of slavery unless we you're still a slave. They even wrote it in there specifically. We're getting rid of slavery unless we bust you doing a crime. Well, what are the crimes? Being black. Oh, shit.

Yeah. Democracy, they did terribly. They made a republic. They took democracy straight out of the hands of the people and put it into a list of 535 rich assholes who you hate. The interstate highway system is a good one. No, that's how they controlled the drinking age! Atrocious. All right, we're going to build you guys highways, but drinking's got to be 45.

Not to mention it took 70 years to get them to allow states to control their own speed limits because of the interstate highway system. It was 55. 55 miles per hour growing up. You guys just hate everything. Yes! How about the national parks? Fuck the national parks! Take land away from just hate everything. The National Parks. Yes! How about the National Parks? Fuck the National Parks!

Take land away from private landowners. Yes! Perfect. Yes! So everyone can enjoy it. I'm a contrarian, though. Incarnadine says,

you'd think the black dwarves would be taller. Why? Yeah. Taller than a regular dwarf? Don't you? No. Like,

maybe there's been black dwarves this whole time, but you think they're just regular people. They're so tall. Every short black guy is actually just a fucking tall dwarf. Yeah. And they're sneaking

away with it in Lord of the Rings. Stephan Johansson says, Does Dick not remember Trump withholding military aid from Ukraine unless they came up with some dirt on Joe Biden? Listening to Dick this episode is fucking embarrassing. I agree. Does that person not remember Joe Biden withholding billions of dollars in aid money to Ukraine?

Bragging about it. Unless they fired the guy who is politically opposed to the company that his son was working for? What do you think about that? Is that what caused this? You were trying to say Hunter Biden caused this conflict. Well, why is he getting so much money? So you just have a conspiracy theory. You just go, well, there's money.

So therefore, something bad happened. Why is he getting well, there's money, so therefore something bad happened. Why is he getting so much money? Hey, Vito, have you ever made a painting? Have you painted anything? I think so. Have you ever sold it for a half million dollars? No. Why not?

Because I'm not Hunter Biden. Why did he get so much money, though, from those energy companies? Yes, okay, there's corruption. What's that sound? Is that the sound of, of like a liberal short circuit? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Why did Trump's kids get all the money? No. Why did Hunter Biden get all the money? Because he is a very talented young man who has nothing but the future in front of him. Okay.

I'm pretty sure he has the cuties audition tapes on that laptop. He's got something on there. I'd like to see those. High-velocity mouse assassination mechanism says Vito. I'd like to see those A high velocity Mouse assassination mechanism Says Vito I trust engineers more than I trust heads of state You said that

An engineer says I took a look at this machine And it seems that 13% of the components Are causing 50% of the problem I recommend we get rid of that That sounds like a very broken machine Engineers Would you agree with that engineer? Have you said that? 13% of the components Get rid of them. All right. That sounds like a very broken machine. Engineers. Would you agree with that, engineer?

Have you said that? 13% of the components. Yeah. Causing half the problems. Yeah. Well, you'd want to probably replace the 13%, right? What would you say? I would say the components clearly just need to be elevated to a different part of the machine. That can affect greater good within the system.

The components are white, though. Did I tell you that? They can be any color they want. The point is they're just in the wrong places. Maybe have historically been installed incorrectly. So you don't trust engineers. It's time to put them where they belong. No, the engineers are right.

In their own component. In their own machine. No, no, no. No, same machine. One machine. Maybe a machine that works, no. Same machine, one machine. Maybe a machine that works more differently. Were these parts brought in from a different machine that's far away? They were forcibly interjected into the machine,

and now we will learn to accommodate them. So you're saying they should go back to the machine that they came from? No, no, no, no, no, no. That's what I hear. It's weird. All the machine parts are interchangeable. We all fit together in a complex web of sprockets. Unless it's Star Wars.

Then it's a big problem. Beto, would you agree with me that Palpatine was misunderstood and that the Jedi is a secret police operating outside the authority of the Empire State? Well, yeah, the Jedi are bad people. Thank God. Dude, we're with it. The Jedi is a fundamentally corrupt organization as well. I'm 100% on board with this.

Except for their kid stuff. Abducting kids. No, that's part of why it's terrible. Abducting kids, telling them you're not allowed to love, and then, like, freaking out when they have natural human emotions. Do you think they force-touch the kids? I think that Grogu went through some horrible things. The midichlorians are in everything,

so just embracing them as a concept means you're touching kids Exactly I think Baby Yoda's traumatized from whatever happened on Coruscant That's what he's blocking out And when Luke Skywalker went to his memory he's like Oh god Okay I'm the winner so it's my Congratulations

Nuclear war It's a good one You still feel badly about No no no I think nuclear war is a fairly very big problem. Your audience voted up nuclear war as a big problem? Yeah. Have they ever... Name a nuclear war. Uh, this one.

He's got a nuclear war. He's got a nuclear war. He's got a good point. Once you have a nuke, aren't they all nuclear wars? No, literally zero nuclear wars have ever happened. We've had a nuclear finish, right? Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but we've never had an actual nuclear conflict on ever happened. We've had a nuclear finish, right? Hiroshima and Nagasaki, but we've never had an actual nuclear conflict on this planet. Yeah.

So you're saying because it won't happen that it's not a problem? I haven't seen evidence that it is a problem. Hmm. Did you vote? No. That's why. There you go. I would have undone the entire vote with mine.

It would have been great Flip-flop breaking Keyboard warriors Guys who talk a lot of shit When they're on the internet Calling people names Acting like a tough guy But then when they're there in person

They don't do shit about shit Alright They're just a big smile. Sheepishly. Yeah. Looking at a coming, you know, in person, they're just all of that bravado and boasting and it all fades away like nothing. Like they're a big, like a paper tiger online.

They're furiously typing. Right. Ah, you're a fucking whatever. Putin. Yeah. You're a piece of shit. You're a piece of shit. I don't need you. Fuck you. Fake lawyer. I'm going to go. You're a fake lawyer. They say this, they say this stuff cause they're on the internet where nothing bad can happen. But then when they're in real life, in real life, they're just like the nicest guy. They're like,

can you tell me how to do better on my YouTube? When the fuck did I say that? I didn't fucking say that. Wait, he's talking about you?

Yeah, is this, oh, this is just a general problem? Yeah, I'm talking about guys on the Ukraine volunteer army subreddit

talking about how tough they are. What are you talking about? They're like, Putin's a fake lawyer. He's a grifter. All his fans are dumb. Stuff like that. Jockey for Christ and that kind of shit. Yeah.

All these guys are a bunch of psychopaths. But then when you're in the same place as them, it's like, we're all friends, guys. Well. We're all friends guys Well We're all just having We're all just talking shit Some shit right Me more than you But

The internet But isn't the internet Not like real life You know That's the problem It's It's a It's a show

No It's a show for everyone It's like a dysfunction No The people you're arguing with Are not You're never really arguing With real people You're always with are not, you're never really arguing with real people.

You're always like arguing with an avatar. Do you dehumanize your argument opponents? Yes, yes, yes. Of course. It's very rude. No, like when you. Kind of inconsiderate of their humanity. You do the same thing.

I guarantee it. Uh oh. Oh, wait. You think I argue with avatars? I think that when you, I think there, I guarantee there have been times that you have been mad at a person on the internet when if you had met them in real life, you guys would have just had like a conversation about something. Who's someone you've been mad about, Nick?

I'm not mad about anybody. Oh, that's a lie. You're mad about Ron Toye. Uh, well. I know you've called people a piece of garbage. That's true. You've called Vito a piece of garbage and now you're Mr. Smiles and Friendly. You're also internet keyboard warrior. I thought you were called people a piece of garbage That's true You've called Vito a piece of garbage And now you're Mr. Smiles and Friendly

You're also an internet keyboard warrior I thought you were talking about me I think he's referring to numerous people I thought you were talking about me No, I didn't Look, Vito was acting like a piece of garbage That is 100% true Yes

He apologized for acting like a piece of garbage His apologies suck, though I can't do a good apology That was a mess. I don't know how to do it, and I've tried, and I even offered money. It was like in Step Brothers. The money thing was the worst. Like in Step Brothers when they can't hug at the end,

and they're like punching and wrestling around. You don't remember that movie? I remember the movie. I just, I don't know. Oh. It was like that. No, it kind of sucks because it's like, what are you going to do in person? Right?

Fight I'm too fucking old to fight Arm wrestle It would be kind of stupid We're going to do a podcast And I'm expected to show up and start throwing blows Indian leg wrestling? Is that PC anymore? I don't know

No, I'm not allowed to say Indian But that's what they do I learned that as a kid It that that's what Native American, it's Native American. Where'd you learn it? At a racist camp? Yeah, where they lay down, they put their legs up, and they try and flip the other person over. That's how they resolve disputes. Isn't that real?

Does that sound like something that a culture would do? Yes. Does that sound like something that men would do? Have you heard of the Greeks? But wait, is it Indians? Is it Indians do that? They fucked each other up the ass. I was a kid, so it was ambiguous.

Okay, but you never found out. I don't know if it's feather or sniper. I'm not sure. Yeah, well, that's what I'm... Sniper. That's good. Yeah, if it was Native Americans, then you have to say Native American wrestling. Well, now you do, but when I was eight, you didn't. Right, no. They were just Indians back then. There was a period of time where it was perfectly legitimate to say American wrestling. Well, now you do, but when I was eight, you didn't. Right, no. They were just Indians back then.

There was a period of time where it was perfectly legitimate to say American Indian. Why is Indian offensive to Native Americans when it was the white people who were too retarded to realize that they weren't in India?

Like, that should be a... It's just cultures decide things. It's like what we were saying about midget. You can't say midget anymore. I think it's a very... Yeah, you can't say midget. I think it's a good anymore. I think it's a very... Yeah, you can't say midget. I think it's a good word.

I like it. They don't like it. I don't know why they don't like it. I don't know why dwarf sounds better. Because they're like three feet tall. That's a magical creature. That's why they piss off all the time. What do you mean?

All of their anger. What do you mean? They're like angry. On your most angriest day, they're that angry every day. Right. All of that anger is compressed into a much smaller area so it exponentially grows yeah it's like a muppet yeah all dwarf yeah call them up they're not muppets they're like muppets they're not muppets stop being offended by everything to muppets guys uh

no keyboard warriors no indians ever uh did wrestling with their legs what to figure something out i don't know show the scientific study that no this is nick's little racist story i know history here i'm not racist it was who told it to me it's probably my mom or whatever you just heard something racist and repeated it without ever questioning it that's not racist did you question it i am questioning it right now but now you're now you're, now you're what? Like you're 52 or whatever. How old are you? I'm 52. Yeah.

So you're like 52 years old. I've learned a lot. And you, now you're like, oh, I'm going to critically examine this. When you're eight in the eighties. I'm not saying you as an eight year old

or a racist eight year old. No. Oh, all eight year olds are racist. Don't you think? Honestly, yeah, you are,

you're racist, but it's like harmless. Like dogs are all racist. I was a minority at eight. Yeah. Cause I grew up in the ghetto of Houston. So I was like. Oh, here we go.

White people. Oh, I grew up in an all black neighborhood. So I was. There were as many actual Indians as there were white people in my class. Were they constantly giving you rug burns? Did they have an Indian name? Oh, India Indians. I'm not a racist Vito

I'd say Native Americans you grew up in an Indian neighborhood like no there were only two Indians there were only two white kids

the rest were black and Mexicans oh okay why because that's where we lived huh it's a very diverse

setting my school bus got pulled over by the cops on multiple occasions your school is so black your school bus got pulled over yeah the black kids were fighting. Your school is so black your school bus got pulled over?

Yeah, the black kids were fighting. I was terrified. I'm like this little seven-year-old. Dude, I was a small... They have names, Nick. I was a small kid too, right? I was like this little seven-year-old scrawny tiny white kid sitting on a bus and these, the fourth graders, who were giant to me,

were beating the shit out of each other. So an old grizzled white cop who's like 65 comes on with his, we got a failure to communicate. He's like, he's like, listen here, you little assholes hitting his nightstick on every seat that he was. I was seat number seven on the left side of the bus.

Right. And he's hitting his nightstick on every seat as he walks by and he gets up to seat number six and he hits his nightstick right in front of me. I'm terrified. It's because it's two black kids. One was named Darian. I don't remember. He won the fight.

What was the other guy's name? I don't remember. Thelonious? I don't pay attention to the name. Danferney? I don't pay attention to the names of people who lose fight stick. Okay. Darian won.

Who fucking cares what the other guy's name was? Darian is all that matters in this scenario. And he he's he's talking about how he's gonna arrest everybody except for these kids and i'm like just sitting there pissing myself because i'm terrified first grader right what am i supposed to do see that's real conflict but on the internet it's all it's all it's all fake lindsey graham said he's he's someone should kill Putin. Did you see that? Yeah, well, I agree. Someone should assassinate. Oh, you agree with that?

You think that's silly? Political assassinations are good now? Yes. I just think you should go. That Frantz Ferdinand guy. Come on. No problems came out of that thing. No, no, that all worked out perfectly. Do you have a concern that...

Okay, so this is a legitimate question. I'm not... This is not a shit on anybody question. Okay. That's how you know it's going to be shit. No, no, no, it's not. So I saw a guy talking about how the thing that we have to... He was in my YouTube comments, right?

Yeah. He left me a diatribe. Yeah. And he's like, the best way to support this is for the u.s to flood the ukraine with weapons and all this support not me but go get them and i was thinking like wait the last time we did that was against russia specifically was afghanistan and it led to eventually the creation of the taliban and isis yeah like so are we concerned now that if we

support ukraine we'll be eventually supporting a separatist movement throughout Ukraine that'll take over, fundamentalize Ukraine and become a giant terrorist organization

throughout the Earth? Yeah, but fundamentalist Catholics are better than the whole other option you got there. That was the real problem. You've never complained about the Crusades before?

Well, the Crusades were a problem. Those were a base. Those were a little base. Indiana Jones 3, come on. They were kind of a good movie. As Stephen Crowder would say, it was all retaliatory, the Crusades were a problem at this point. Those were a little base. Indiana Jones 3, come on. They were kind of a good movie. As Steven Crowder would say, it was all retaliatory, the Crusades. I mean, those Islamists were just, it's not true.

I don't know why Steven Crowder came into it. Steven Crowder made a video about the Crusades that was very wrong. Did you watch it? I watched a historian's reaction to it. That's the closest I've ever seen anyone to consuming Stephen Crowder's content. Really? I don't know who watches that shit. Wait, but a historian's reaction.

It is huge. I know, but who watches it? Yeah, it was a historian because Stephen Crowder was just saying some stuff about the Crusades. Is he a professor? The guy who responded? Yeah. I would have to, I believe so. I just didn't know if like, is there some level of credentialing that makes you right?

Uh, just, he had way more sources than Steven Crowder who had zero sources. Oh, sources. Okay. You got any sources? Well,

I mean, you can look up the sources. I'm not criticizing. Look, I'm a lawyer. Most historians are just guys who one day went, I'm really into this fucking thing. And then I read a bunch of books and shit.

I was not criticizing you. I was just getting a feel for where you... I'm gonna fight you on the internet, you piece of fucking shit. Yeah, you will! That's the worst part. You're all smiles and games, but as soon as you get back on the internet, you're gonna be like, Nick fucking Rikito is such a fucking grifter, fuck you! I haven't fucked with Nick in forever. I like Nick. Because you see how tall he is. No, because I tune into those stupid Red House streams. I'm like, ah, this is good.

Stupid. Whatever. I used to. Disrespect. It's so disrespectful. You bring me on this show, Dick, to have me disrespected in front of a live audience? I cannot believe this. It's a fantastic stream, and everything you do is fantastic.

Don't you think there's too much? Is this how guys talk? No. That's how guys talk to women, not to other guys. I'm negging. I'm negging. A man? I'm going to peacock him later.

I got a whole dress I'm going to put on. Oh, dear God. A dress? Yeah. What kind of a dress are you going to peacock in? This man came in a Christian and he's going home a sinner. I tell you what. Is it off the shoulder? He came in a Christian and he's going home a sinner. I tell you what. Is it off the shoulder?

He came in a Christian and he's going to come home a sinner. Exactly. I'm sending this man home a Satanist. Someone's getting it in the butt. Don't you think people are maybe too much? Someone's getting pegged. The audience is loving it. You can't get pegged.

Would he wear the... Why can't I get pegged? Who can't get pegged? Anybody. wear the... Why can't I get pegged? Who can't get pegged? Anybody. What does that mean? What do you mean? Didn't you see that story out of Wisconsin? The chick who chopped off the guy's head while having sex?

Was she pegging him? Okay, so they don't say it. Yeah. But the story is literally... The guy gets the choke chain out and puts it on his own neck, right? Like a dog choke chain. Yeah, the dog choke chain with the little prongs that come when you pull on the thing. That's a pinch chain.

Those are gross, right? Yeah, fuck that. But that's what he gets. And so she's, the story goes, according to her, he's laying naked, face down on the bed, and she's riding on top of him with the choke chain. 100% she's pegging him. Really? That's my theory.

Because she was behind. So she's riding on top of a guy face down on the bed pegging him. Really? That's my theory. Because she was behind. So she's riding on top of a guy face down on the bed choking him. And then she says that after he died, she got out to dildo. First she sucked his penis of the dead body. That's nice of her. She dildoed his mouth and his ass. The dead guy? Yes.

In that order? Why? For what purpose? It doesn't say in that order. I hope it was that order. But you know he was already getting pegged, so it doesn't matter what order it was in. Why did she cut off his head? I don't know.

For funsies? She knew he was dead, and she was into it, so she just cut off his head. She disemboweled him, too, and put his organs in baggies. Oh, this is just a good story all around. She put his- Good, feel good. You know, if you want to know what's happening in the pegging world, you ask a Christian man.

He's got news alerts set up on Google. I'm here. He's talked about it. I am a warrior for Christ against pegging. I have to know when it's happening because I have to stop it. Are you stopping it? I'm telling guys you can't get pegged.

I'm going to put my thumb in your butthole, and if this broad comes around with a strap on, no, no. Exactly. I'm going to fake it with my hand, so she thinks she's fucking a butthole, but it's actually my hand, buddy. I got you. That is the most Christian thing I've ever heard of anyone doing.

So the line is that pegging leads to decapitation, naturally. We have evidence of it. We do have evidence. I haven't heard any compelling argument for pegging. I've only heard arguments against it. Well. Look what happened to Jack Murphy. Yeah.

Pegging ruins your business? Pegging gets you decapitated? What the fuck would anybody get pegged for? Did Jack Murphy get pegged? I think so. He dildoed himself. I know he was. That's different.

He was sitting on it. Yeah. Yeah. What dildoed himself. I know he was... That's different. He was sitting on it. Yeah. What if he was just gay? Is that fine? He was at least buying. He was talking about the college boys. Here's what I think. If you're gay, getting fucked up your ass, that's fine. But if it's the woman doing it, then it's

giving her power. And that's why it's bad. Drex always says that... That's why it's bad. Just want all says that. That's why it's bad. Just want all men to take a step back and realize none of us are homophobic. We just hate women. He says that. Yeah, that's very important. But Drex always says that if you get pegged, the woman doesn't respect you.

And he draws on his history with cuckoldry or whatever. Oh. That he's swinging and stuff like that. I'm not in that world. Like he was being cuckolded? No, no, no. He was the bull. Oh, and he did not enjoy,

or did he enjoy the situation or was he like, this is weird? He's fine with it. He just said that the women don't respect the cuck ever. Oh. Like, and so when these guys get pegged, like the women stop respecting them immediately. But I think they enjoy the...

Isn't the whole point that you want to be disrespected because it gets you off? I mean, I guess if that's your thing. I think the point is... Because they're putting a thing in your butt, right? That's what all this hubbub is about? Yes, putting a thing in your butt. I don't know if you can boil

it down to that. No, you can! You really can! This is psychological. So much involves what anyone puts in their butt at any moment. That's every day. I'm telling you, just don't do it. Guys, I'm trying to save your life, trying to save your business. So what's the name of that guy, the Jack Murphy, right? Yeah.

And back on topic. Topic is keyboard wars. I mean, everybody has been talking. Can you dye the sides of your beard white sometime and do a Jack Murphy thing? That'd be very funny. I could do that. I was going to say, though, I mean, we all have been talking shit about Jack Murphy, myself included.

But I don't bear ill will towards Jack Murphy. What do you mean? I'm saying, like, I'm like, fuck this guy, and he's a grifter, and he lied to his audience. Because you're being a keyboard warrior. Yeah. If I saw him in real life, I'd be like, hey, I fuck this guy and he's a grifter and he lied to his eyes you're being a keyboard warrior If I saw him in real life, I'd be like it's you I'd be like hey, man That was a stupid fucking thing you did I don't like genuinely hate the guy no I think my biggest superpower is especially among like youtubers and creators where it's kayfabe. It's fucking not for me It's wrestling. Yeah, not for you. Cuz you take some of you guys take take Some of you guys Take it too far I take it too far

You take it too far I don't shake people's hands I have taken it too far If I had said If I had said What you said About Nick online What did I say about Nick

You don't even know What I said Negative things Lots of negative things Very negative I'm not a good lawyer You wouldn't let him Watch your kids

Stuff like that Anything I said to Nick Was in response I think We were having a i'm the aggressor i'm the instigator if i instigated fine you're putin i've never instigated anything in my life i do believe that you instigated but that's fine again it's all you know he calls me little names and little snipes no one's ever called you a little name but yeah big name big name sure and then you know i go tit for name. It's a big name. It's a big name. Sure.

And then, you know, I go tit for tat, but it's all part of the equation. You're the tit. I wish you guys, here's the thing, is that I'm the tit. I'm the big tit. I think that there should be more of an understanding among... To just say whatever you want? There's a lot of guys who have these beefs and they take them too far. I'm thinking of one

gentleman in particular. Putin? Yeah, Putin. Wait, who's taking it too far? I think there's a certain guy. He's got a live stream that he does maybe two of them a day. Well, don't do it!

Now you're talking shit again about somebody who's not here. Yes, you are. I want Ralph to make up with a number of people. Because I do two live streams a day. I thought you were talking about me. No, no, no. I think Ralph has pushed away a lot of people. And I think that it is this keyboard warrior thing.

Oh, now it's Ralph's. Now Ralph is the keyboard warrior you're saying? I'm not talking shit. I'm saying I wish that all these people and there's this whole strife in the community. I would like... Wait, is Ralph getting... Is Ralph's business in trouble?

I don't know. Do you think Ralph's in danger of decapitating? Is Ralph getting pegged? Ralph... I'm not going down any of these roads. I'm just trying to figure out what the problem is. I just wish... And there's other spats, internet spats, that I find myself. Like World War III. Bunch of senators and stuff saying Putin should be assassinated.

No, but I have YouTube guys come to me and they go, how could you live stream with that guy? That guy did this thing to me. No, not you. Other guys or whatever. Who are they mad about? You don't have to say who's mad at him, but who are they mad about? Do a really sly hint like you did with Ralph.

Jarbo? Yeah, Jarbo is one like you did with Ralph. Jarbo? Yeah, Jarbo is one. I have no beef with Jarbo because he never did anything to me. He fucked up and that was like a million years ago and I just don't care. No, I'm with you. I'm with you. Yeah, so like I stream with Jarbo and then I get- You called me a sociopath.

You're with him? I know that's- You call him- Yeah, but whatever. Fucking Jarbo. Jarbo called- I didn't know Jarbo called you a sociopath. Yeah.

He said I had beady eyes. My eyes are beautiful. No, I'm with him. That's it. Now we're on a fight. Now we're fighting. Now I'm on your side. You are a grifter.

Are you trying to say you're not a sociopath? He doesn't know that. Damn it. But again, I just wish everybody could I don't know Call nicknames And then meet him to his face And say I really like you

I just wish they could come to an understanding That a lot of people Have done stupid fucked up things In all these spaces Myself included Thankfully I've apologized And it was a stellar apology And

Tremendous apology Really wonderful I've heard better apologies frankly But this one was okay. It was a very stable, genius apology, I'm going to say. And I don't know. We could be a little kinder to each other. Why?

It's not funny. I know it's not funny. It's not funny. But that's the problem is that people. I love the people of InfoWars. They're very good. Very good news organization. They're very smart people.

Terrific. I've met a few of them, frankly. I would love to see the email you sent to the InfoWars people when they asked you to be... I gotta get a... I was recently on, what was it? Was it Newsmax?

I went on Newsmax, but they didn't send me a video of my appearance. I'm the new king of right-wing news, I think. It's been a great evolution for me. Well, anyway, that's my problem. It's a good problem.

Keyboard warriors. I agree, and I think people... But you're saying the problem is that you want people to keep up the anger. been a great evolution for well anyway that's my problem it's a good word warriors i agree and i think people but you're saying the problem is that you want people to keep up the anger i think the problem is that maybe the anger is unwarranted no because it just seems like everyone's pissed off and they're not like oh everybody's talking shit like okay then go do something like wow not me somebody else no it's like a woman moving like you move your to a new house and like your wife or your girlfriend's up in there and their backs were backward had and she's like oh man i'm fucking here we go we're moving you're not doing shit but maybe they're not that pissed off yeah

like because like people are like oh you call veto a fat piece of shit it's like i call a lot of people a fat piece of shit though and i am a fat piece of shit so there's really it's probably incorrect you're pegging him right now, by the way you're talking. Well, he's on the way to decapitation and business destruction. Please cut off my head, daddy. It's the only thing that gets me off. You call a lot of people a fat piece of shit? I call everybody.

Maybe it's my problem. I call me fat, though. You? Yeah. I got this dad gut. It's great. If you were a regular size man Like 5'8

Yeah You would be fatter than hell Dude I Because you're all stretched out See You are tall I grew up my entire life Though being tiny

Like and not able To put on weight I would eat 10, 15, 20,000 calories In a day Just eat, eat, eat In high school And I could not

I couldn't gain weight Right? And so then now I like look at if I eat anything it's like I get bloaty and I'm old and it's fucking embarrassing and so it's like well now I yeah I look at myself and it's like

oh god you're fucking fat you should probably how long are you gonna stream for like years you think cause you're gonna stream until you're gonna look like you're gonna bloat and look disgusting oh it's gonna be great I'm gonna be

you're gonna hit 40 you're gonna look like Louie Anderson died Minnesota needs another famous fat guy right I just need to start sweating more

you should do mukbangs I think god that sounds so that would be a great stream while you're covering this with all the other lawyers I want you just

pounding cheeseburgers and they're like what's Nick doing you're like this with all the other lawyers, I want you just pounding cheeseburgers. And they're like, what's Nick doing? You're like, it's a new thing. Someone sent me a 4,000 calorie ramen from Japan. What the fuck's in it? I don't know. It's fucking huge. And it says, absolutely do not eat alone.

So I'm definitely, I'm gonna do it. But I have to wait because I got this taste shit from COVID. Oh, yeah. Oh, you got COVID? Yeah. I'm looking forward to your, but I have to wait because I got this taste shit from COVID. Oh, yeah? Oh, you got COVID? Yeah, twice. I'm looking forward to your super spreader event tomorrow. You're still on with COVID? Bro, we're at nuclear war. I got my booster shot just specifically for it.

Why is it red? I got a big welt there because it's going to kill me. I'm going to dial 911, and when you have a heart attack, I'm going to hit the other one. Yeah, I already feel the mitocardosis coming on, but I'm excited about it. Did you see that thing that Pfizer released? What? That like a thousand people died or something? I don't know.

I saw they released something. I haven't looked at the numbers. They're fine. Somewhere in the neighborhood. Okay. That's my problem. Keyboard warriors. Are we sandwiching this?

Does Nick go second? No, you go. I go. Wait, wait. Hold on. Yeah, you go. I don't want to be the cream in that sandwich okay it's disgusting you're gonna be the peg in the hole you're the concentration board and i'm 50 pegs coming your way dick there's some great tv shows classic boy comedies that have entertained

the world if your problem's reality tv you need to leave the studio right now. No, no, no. Okay. Just making sure. So many great shows that I can think of, but there's one show that is not good despite what people claim. Oh.

And that's why my problem is Futurama fans. Oh, wow. Ooh. Now, I don't know if you saw the news that Futurama is coming back, which is... Again. Yeah.

The show that will not die despite deserving to die so many times over. Futurama has been canceled three fucking times because it sucks. It's not funny. It's shitty humor.

And the fan base is retarded. Dick, are you a big Futurama fan? You know what? You're right. What do you like? the robot who smokes cigars And drinks beer A robot's not supposed to drink His name is Bender

That's what makes it funny Because Bender is like It's a metaphor No it's a pun Nick It's the worst form of comedy I'm a big Futurama fan but everything you're saying is right I suddenly realized it what about there's a there's a doctor but he's bad at

being a doctor and he's also like a crab these characters he's also a Jew isn't he I guess so his name is Zoidberg he's Jewish all I know is that oh he's got six noses and he's got an accent. It's

fucking terribly great. The Futurama fan... Here's the weirdest thing. Oy, I'm doing medicine over here. Yeah, it's funny because he's Jewish. Yeah, it's funny because he's Jewish. Yeah, and then why don't we put, like, Richard Nixon in every episode? That's topical. Oh, my God. The show is written by, like, 50-year-old

morons. Is it? It seems like it's written by... Backroning is ancient. Yeah, but who's the writers? The Nixon stuff is not funny at all. No. It's like written for another generation. It's like the vaudeville jokes on Family Guy.

Futurama was maybe okay for its time period, but it's one of these things that needs to die. And I don't know why everybody understands that The Simpsons sucks now. Like, oh, it's zombie Simpsons. It's not like the original, you know. It's not nearly as good and the writing's changed and it doesn't fit the times. And then you go, Futurama's coming back.

And they go, oh, yeah, that fucking show. And you're like, no, it has the exact same problems. It is an outdated, shitty show. Are you a Futurama fan, Nick? No. No? No, I don't care about it. Like, funny clips of it from time to time.

Like, when he shits a brick, that was funny. It's not like there's not any, like, good jokes ever. What about when the dog died? That's the thing. Everybody brings up the same fucking episodes to try and justify this show. No, it's not a good episode. Or his dog was sad and then it died. Yeah, but then they ruined it.

How'd they ruin it? By making, they like, did another episode. Did they bring the dog back? Yeah, they did an episode later and fucking rehashed it and fucked it all up. Why couldn't you resurrect the dog? It's the future. Like, they have heads of state. Well, that was the episode.

He decided not to because the dog lived a full life and he didn't want to like, you know. See, I don't watch this show. So I'm 0% invested in Futurama.ama as you should be as all of us should be but the people who are invested in it it's a stupid cult of morons it is the last two weeks i've been watching people so they're bringing futurama back again which they should not do because they they've brought it back before and it's always sucked. Yeah. But now everybody was up in arms because the voice of Bender went, you know, they're just not offering me enough money to phone in this shitty performance of a drunk robot. And people were like, how could you not pay John DiMaggio to come back and go,

bite my shiny metal ass? That's not a very good Bender. No. It's terrible. It's terrible. I don't like this show, so I'm not going to do it. Bite my shiny metal ass. That's not a very good bender. It's a terrible bender. I don't like this show, so I'm not going to do it. Shiny metal ass. I don't even watch it, and that was offensively bad.

Whatever. It's so good, because I hate the fucking show. If you want to make the show, you could just take old clips of him just saying that over and over. Because that's the only thing he does on the show. Just loop old clips of him going, bite my shiny metal ass, and then everyone can laugh at this terrible catchphrase. Do they have a laugh track on the show just loop old clips of him going bite my shiny metal ass and then everyone can laugh at this terrible catchphrase do they have a laugh track on that

show no but they should they should might make it like that's how they should do it for the last season that an ironic laugh i'm waiting for an ironic laugh track to be done effectively there was what my brain trying to imagine i'm trying to imagine a laugh track that's not ironic now. Like, are they all ironic? I think none of them are. No, they're all like, please laugh at our joke. We'll help you along. And they mean it.

Now I'm wondering what irony is. And now I'm wondering if that is irony. You know what's a good example is I know you're a fan of the good seasons of Rick and Morty. Before they got all the women involved. Yeah, before women writers showed up and tanked it. The women ruined that show. Why would you let women write on Rick and Morty? Why let women have access to the written language at all?

China had it right back in the day. That's why Japanese exists. The second a woman completes a math problem, you shoot her in the head and move on. Chinese women were not allowed to write in chinese so they all of the yeah yeah and then we had to tie up their feet because they kept japanese japanese women weren't japanese men wrote in chinese wait what originally okay and that's why japanese was a language specifically for women early japanese literature is all written by women because all the men wrote in chinese in japan yeah what the fuck at least that's what somebody told me i don't know i haven't Early Japanese literature is all written by women because all the men wrote in Chinese. In Japan?

Yeah. What the fuck? At least that's what somebody told me. I don't know. I haven't read a study on it. Did you learn this from your Indian leg wrestling school? And they were all getting pegged, Dick. Yeah.

Nick has read into it. Somebody fact check me on it. I could be wrong, but... You want to know what's happening in pegging? You go straight to the trad community. They'll tell you. All the stats, they've tested it out. Did you just put me in the trad community?

I don't want to be in a community. No, you're in a community, buddy. You best start believing in communities. What the fuck? I would point to you as a trad. I don't advocate anything. I don't tell people what to do. You have two and a half kids and a wife and kids.

You said don't get pegged. Don't fuck up your career. You have five kids. Well, then you're, isn't that ultra trad? But, like, I don't tell anyone. That's like 1940s trad. I don't tell anyone else what to do. That's fair enough.

I'm not like, yeah, you need to go out and get married and have kids. I mean, I. But you believe in a traditional lifestyle. For me. For you. For me, it works. You would agree that for other people it's not the right way what about for veto if people ask me that like here's here's my philosophy if

people come up and say hey how do i get to where you are right i'd say here's what i did i don't know if it works for you but this is what is what happened for me here's my life story i can tell you that but i'm not like i'm not an evangelizer. I want to get rich and famous by having my black boyfriend peg me. Why would your boyfriend peg you? I don't like his dick. I want him to put on the strap on. His dick's too big?

It's too big. I can't handle it. You would say, well, that's yeah, go nuts. I would say literally, I'd say based on my research, the pegging is a problem. Yeah, I'd say, dude, don't get pegged. He won't respect you. He won't respect me and he'll cut my head off.

Yeah. The point I was trying to make is, you have this great... If you have a science fiction future universe, shouldn't you do interesting futuristic sci-fi concepts as opposed to Richard Nixon jokes? But I think that's the joke, isn't it? Like, that's the overall joke of Futurama.

It's the same thing. Outdated, shitty references. Like, imagine you have the entire breadth of human civilization between now and when's Futurama set? 3000. You have now and 3001, and they literally are stuck to the 90s. Like, that's kind of funny.

Okay, that joke is like, yeah, but at a certain point. But it's not the 90s, it's Nixon. Well, 70s to 90s. At a certain point. Your comedy, everything stops at 1996, okay? And all jokes are from then. 1976. Just with Nixon, but they also had Bush.

They had Bush's head floating around. Yeah. And the Beastie Boys. Yeah, they had the Beastie Boys references Beck too I remember when they came back I don't know the second third time Two turntables and a microphone Beck Yeah

Yeah they've had Beck Bender was like a They thought Beck was famous enough to last until the year 3000 I mean don't get me wrong That's part of the joke I like two turntables and a microphone I fucking hate Futurama. Let me just cut.

I loved it. I loved the idea. I fucked. Slurms McKenzie was brilliant. But that show was fucked and spoiled with references, pop culture references, and celebrities and horse shit. They took a great idea and just ruined it to make it, like, to appeal to an audience that hated them.

It was like, that show was like a cam whore. Like, why are you doing this? Why are you prostituting yourself for these people that don't care about you? Be Rick and Morty. They could have been Rick and Morty the whole fucking time. Their references, I keep wanting to bring this one up. When they came back from, like, again,

when they rebooted the show, do you remember that American idol, that ugly lady, Susan Boyle, who she came out and you're like, oh, this ugly lady. But she was more keyboard warrior. If Susan Boyle was here, you'd be like, oh, I love you. You're a great singer. No, I'm not questioning you're an ugly lady. You can sing.

That's fine. I'm not going to lie. All right, anyway. Wait, as an Italian, are you annoyed at other cultures appropriating opera? Oh, all things. Because like. When I see someone dresses an oversized pizza slice for Halloween, I go, hey, my culture is not your costume.

Yeah, that's good. Shut it down. Shut it down. I'm glad about that. Stop appropriating. So like you don't like when black people do opera singing. I didn't say that. That's not appropriation.

Why is that? Why is that not appropriation? They're in Italian. They're singing Italian songs. Jesus Christ, there's a lot of parameters here. It's just reality. I'm asking about reality.

We're talking about Susan Boyle. There was that fat black guy on the same show, Britain's Got Talent, and he did opera singing. And it's like, I'm like, wait a minute. That belongs to the Italians? If a white guy was up there singing Earth, Wind, and Fire,

they'd be like, this is weird. No, no, no. White people are allowed to cover black people. They just can't say the N-word if they're doing it. Yeah, no. Yeah, so if a white rapper was up there doing a Jay-Z song, he's able to say the N-word? No, no, no. I mean, they're certain if in the opera he used you know some of the you know colloquial he's like you fucking wop in the opera that's okay

mozzarella monkey maranara bitch i don't know there's a lot of great Italian slurs out there Mara Nara Mongoloid I think it's called Mara Nara Mongoloid That's the Italian slur The point I was trying to make ten times Yeah

Here was the joke They have a singing boil A boil on someone's neck Named Susan Boyle And that was the moment I realized Futurama was the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life. I loved...

I was so excited for it to come out. I don't understand why you like this show. Whatever. It's like something to watch if you got nothing else going on, I guess.

Yeah. But it's just bad. The new Futurama is like... It's worse than the bad Simpsons seasons. Yeah, it is. Because it never was as good as the Simpsons.

It never quite got there. And it could have gotten there. Now, it is. Because it never was as good as The Simpsons. It never quite got there. And it could have gotten there. Now, it's not as bad as Matt Groening's new show on Netflix. Have you seen that one? Ooh, that looks terrible. The Lady? Disenchanted? I haven't seen it.

Fucking terrible. And you can tell those scripts sat on a shelf for 20 years before they finally made it. You're like, oh my God, these jokes are dead in the water. And that's what Futurama is. Because they bring it back to life. And again, it's scripts that have sat on the shelf for three, four, five years. Yeah. The robot devil stuff was bad.

It's like, he's really magical now? Like, what do you mean? Why? He's the robot devil. It's funny that it's like, it's funny that robots had like a parallel religion, but then when they gave him power, it's like, well, that doesn't make any sense well that's the other

thing is uh Simpsons did a pretty good job of moving along when you invent like a fun concept and they go alright we did that like I don't think

Simpsons ever brought back Hank Scorpio you remember the episode where don't say that they're gonna do it now no they will do it that's what I'm worried

about you know they brought back Frank Grimes on the Simpsons he died Grimes died oh no they brought his kid back it was his Frank Grimes kid oh's what I'm worried about. You know they brought back Frank Grimes on The Simpsons? He died. Grimes died. No, they brought his kid back. It was Frank Grimes' kid. Now that I'm kind of interested in.

No, fuck that. You let it die. And Futurama comes up with one funny thing. Can you say worst episode ever? I said worst episode. Worst show ever. Look, man, I just hate it, and I hate the fan base and it's not funny not a big problem though breaking your flip-flops is a way bigger problem than

lowering people's there could be so much great comedy if they would just fund it and instead they reboot Futurama when that part of your flip-flop pops out and it's got the little round thing. Oh, with the fucking flip-flop shit. And you're like, how did it get through the hole? I can't get it back in. No, it's done. You gotta give it up. Just do a flip-flop show then. You guys have so much to say about fucking flip-flops. We could do a flip-flop show.

It'd just be, though, your position on InfoWars. No, my position is solid. It'd be the entire flip-flop show. Which is, I hate InfoWars, but I love publicity. There's no issue there. Did you see that Mr. Girl got vetoed? Banned from Twitch?

No, because some girl added at Twitch's support. Yeah. And they just enforced their terms of service on him? Did you see that? Well, the Twitch is different from YouTube. YouTube doesn't do shit. Nothing happened. It's justified, right?

I didn't get anyone's channel taken down. No one's channel was affected in any way, and I apologize regardless. Okay, Nick, do you have a problem? I do. I do. It's called bread tacos. Okay.

Bread tacos are the fucking shit. I don't like it already. They're the shitty form of sandwiches that has happened when Subway caved to Quiznos. In the Great Sandwich Wars. Yes. Okay, so Subway used to, they were brilliant, right? Talking about the triangle cut? Yeah, they used to do the U-cut or V-gouge, whatever you want to call it.

They'd go down the bread. V-gouge. And they'd go back up. That's what I call it. Oh, baby. Yes. Yes. And they'd, they hatchet wound.

That's what I call it. When I'm DMing a girl, I go, I'm going to hit you with the V-gouge. Exactly. Oh, my God. You call it a V-gouge? That's what they called it. Who's they? Subway.

How do you know? Because that's what Subway employees called it. Oh. It's either the U-gouge or the V-gouge or the V-cut or the U-cut. That's one of those four. V-gouge Or the V-Gouge Or the V-Cut Or the U-Cut That's the One of those four V-Gouge that shit Yeah Okay

So you cut down Both sides of the bread And you rip off this strip And then you have like This canyon Yeah You would lay all the meat Amazing

And then you put all of the stuff And it all stayed in the fucking sandwich You could just pick up the sandwich It was pretty ideal I'm surprised more sub shops Don't do this It was obvious Obviously that's

how you make it. Yeah, it's like, oh, okay, this makes sense. Then Quiznos comes out, and they start cutting their sandwiches into two pieces and then toasting them or whatever. That's when Subway introduced toasting sandwiches, which is bullshit. Look, Subway makes a good cold sandwich. Don't ever toast them. Their toast

sandwiches are trash. They always have it. Their bread is too thick to toast a sandwich at Subway. I like those little guys. You mean their cake. We got the cake that they used for bread. Right, yes. So what they do now is they cut your sandwich almost, they cut your bread almost in half.

And then they butterfly it out. And then they put a bunch of, they put shit. It's just two flat pieces? It's not two pieces. It's one piece with a little thin, flimsy membrane between it, like a brain. Like a hymen? No, like the brain thing. I don't know anything about a brain.

Right and left brain communicate. Oh, the corpus callosum. Yeah, that thing. He has read a medical study. Oh my God. What? It's the strip that connects the hemisphere of your brains? I mean, I know that based on what you said, but how do you just know that so immediately?

I don't know, man. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. Corpus callosum? Are you a doctor? I'm pretty sure that's what it's called. No, I think you're right. I'd be stupid if I got it wrong. Not really.

No, because I read a... You ever hear about that that guy Who got like shot Through one side of his brain And like He lost all impulse control And became a psychopath Back in like Wild West times And his name was Vito

Just wild Yeah But they sometimes They have to cut the corpus callosum To fix shit like that Yeah, to deal with Now Nick knows the word That's how everybody's

Fucking using it This is perfect For seizures For seizures They'll remove the corpus callosum in your brain. It's weird. It's like it can still communicate, but it has to find new pathways to do it. Yeah. And that's when people become ambidextrous, and they can write two different concepts at once

because their brains are thinking independently. That happened to me. Yeah. So anyway, they leave that little shitty Corpus Callosum piece of bread. I like that everyone's saying it now. And then they put the meat on one side, sort of, halfway, so that when they fold it, there's like a half-folded piece. So you've got like double meat.

No, no, no, no, no. This is horrible. Then they put lettuce and spinach. I get lettuce, spinach, pickles, and jalapenos. You eat at Subway? Lettuce and spinach? On occasion, yeah. Making as much money as you do, you eat at Subway? Lettuce and spinach? On occasion, yeah. Making as much money as you do, you eat at Subway.

Dude, there's nothing to eat in my town. Oh. You gotta get out of that town. Look, I'm trying not to bitch about what happened to my diet by, I got the long COVID where parsomony is what it's called, where good food tastes literally like garbage. Yeah. So pork and chicken, some beef, it all tastes like trash. I wish there was a vaccine or something.

The vaccine doesn't stop this. Oh, okay. Because it doesn't. Sure. I'm sorry. I wish it did. The vaccine stops it because it gives you a heart attack and kills you. That's true.

That's perfect. No! What the fuck? You just got on the fucking channel band again. I'm getting wrecked. God damn it. We went through this once. You can't say anything about Bob Saget.

I was joking. It doesn't matter. They don't know. They're idiots. So they put all this stuff in there, and then they fold it over, right? And your bread is now cockeyed bullshit, and you have to eat it like a taco. Because if you try and eat it normally, everything fucking spills out the side when you take a bite. It's like ejecting it.

Every time you try to squeeze a taco, it's terrible. Okay, Dick, you like mayo. Do you like mayo on sandwiches? You're Mexican, so I know that. Do you like mayo on sandwiches? Yeah. You guys put it on fucking corn. I put it on a popsicle. Right. When you put mayo on a sandwich, do you put it on... I'll go down on my girlfriend. Spray mayo all over that thing.

Just kidding. I don't go down on my girlfriend. Do you put mayo- I'll go down on my girlfriend. Spray mayo all over that thing. Just kidding. I don't go down on my girlfriend. Do you put mayo on the bread? Or do you build your sandwich- I put it on my hands. I cut out the middle man. God damn it. Put the mayo right on my hands.

Yeah, so when you're eating the sandwich- Like a gymnast, they'll put chalk on their hand. I put mayo. Get me good in this fucking sandwich. If you've been to a Subway in the past 10 years, what they literally do is they- I don't think I have. I actually don't think I have.

They spray the mayo on top of the vegetables. Yes, they put all this shit, and then they spray the mayo on top like a fucking heathen, and then they close the sandwich, and you have a mayo-like mile going down the top of your sandwich. It's disgusting. Mayo mile. It's so gross. Like an upside-down cock. Yes.

Can you tell them? But it's your way, right? No, they got rid of that. Listen, motherfucker. No, it's Subway too. Subway's your way? Subway bakes my bread up fresh and that's my way. Get a combo seafood club the best way.

Subway, my way, Subway. How do you not know this? Make those fries extra delicious. Every time I go in and they do. Burger King is flame broiled. Burger King's disgusting. Burger King's not my way? No.

My way or the highway. That's Burger King, isn't it? I want a deep fried hamburger at Burger King right now. No, Subway used to be my way and now it's gone. They stopped that. Well, that's why I'm a Jersey Mike's boy. Yeah, but I don't have one of those because I live in a tiny town. Sounds like the

problem is living in a tiny town with only a subway. It's not just subway. Jimmy John's does the same shit. No, wait, Jimmy John's? Get the fuck out of here, Jimmy John's. Didn't you work at a Jimmy John's? Riley is in studio. Didn't you work at a Jimmy John's?

They cut the bread most of the way and then they they butterfly it, and they put that shit on. If you bite the left side of your sandwich, all your shit's gone. Everything's gone. It catapults into oblivion. Well, when you make a sandwich, as I've always understood it, if you have a sub roll, you should scoop out a little bit of bread. That's Herbert's and Gerberts. They do that. That's good.

To make a little pocket for the meat. Yeah, Herbert and Gerberts, they'll scoop out good To make a little pocket For the meat Yeah Erbert and Gerberts They'll scoop out the bread guts A little bit of Dr. Seuss Out of the bottle Yes The guy who created The guts of the bread

Scoop them out or you're dead No Erbert and Gerbert Where they Herbert and Gerbert The guy You know about Erberts and Gerberts I don't fucking know Erbert Everything in Erbert and Gerbert

Is named after a children's book That he wrote for his kids Oh he made a sandwich shop Yes He might be too horny Dr Oh, he made a sandwich shop? Yes. He might be too horny to eat. Dr. Seuss made a sandwich shop? No, not that guy, but the guy who made Urban Gerbert. Oh, Urban Gerbert made one.

He told these fantasy stories to his kids, and so all the sandwiches are named after characters in his book. Oh. And then they said, Dad, you need a real job? And he's like, I don't make sandwiches. He's like, yeah, I guess I'll fucking make peanut butter and jelly and soup off the guts. V-Gouge, is that named after his kids? No, that was Subway.

That was named after what Jared wanted to do to kids at Subway. How many terabytes of kitty porn did that guy have? Enough. Is it ever? Nah, that guy was set up. Any of it's enough. Come on now. You stop it.

He was set up. Fucking Ronald McDonald's in there downloading job forms from the Ronald McDonald house. I'm going to get that motherfucker. I know you got leukemia, but let me just get a picture of your fucking dick. Take that, Jared. Jack from Jack in the Box went in there and he said, This motherfucker's selling way too many sandwiches. If you looked at all the pictures of naked kids on Jared's thing,

it's got a McDonald's watermark in the corner. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't look at those pictures. If you see the naked kids. The FBI would. There's the naked kids. Even if I was in the FBI, I wouldn't look at them. But then there's a mirror and a couple of them.

You know there's a guy at the FBI in Jackson. And you can see Ronald McDonald holding a can. Yeah, all of them. There's literally a guy whose job it is is to write the descriptions of the child porn that they keep on file. So the rest of the FBI can only look at the good ones. Yeah. That's what I'm saying.

My buddy's brother went to high school with Jared, and he was really mad because Jared stopped talking to him when he got big. And he's like, I like how big time me. Big leagues me. Doesn't have time for his friends anymore. I thought you were... He goes, I always knew that guy was a creep.

And we go, you wanted to hang out with him constantly. He should have sent him like a Snapchat picture but shrinked his penis. No. I thought you were saying, Jared, stop talking to him when your friend got big

and I was like, well, yeah, that makes sense. He's a full-grown adult now. It's not... They're both children. Do you think that would work if you took it,

if you photoshopped your dick to be small and sent it to someone? I'm going to send a letter to Jared in prison to see how he's doing you with crayon yeah hello jared do you know the response letter would be the funniest thing you've ever done there was uh there was a limited edition jared baseball card so i want to send him one of those and get it tops yeah it was like a tops or upper deck or something is he in like a batter's pose holding a foot long? And he's got a young boy next to him looking very scared.

He's like, this sandwich is for the kids. Why do they always start a kids charity? It's like, come on. Fuck kids. Why are you being so obvious about it? They want access. Well, he did exactly that. Fuck kids.

Yeah, that's why. You know how old we are? I made a Sandusky joke on stream the other day and no one got it. That's how fucking old we are. Sandusky, it's only like five, six years ago, right? Yeah, but... What about Nixon jokes? Can't wait to see those in the new

Futurama. Fucking Nixon's head. In 45 years when Futurama's back for the 87th time, they'll make Sandusky jokes. Wait, who was the coach, the gymnast? That's not the gymnast coach. Sandusky was the football coach, right? Larry Nassar, not Nassar.

Jerry Nassar is the pedophile who's in Congress. Larry Nassar was the gymnastics coach. Keyboard warrior, though. If you met that guy, you'd be like, oh, nice to meet you. Larry Nassar? Some congressman. I bet you guys would get along swimmingly.

Wait, you think I would be nice to Jerry Nassar? Some congressman. I bet you guys would get along swimmingly. Wait, you think I would be nice to Jerry Nadler? Yeah. No. What would you say? I'd say you're a piece of shit. Then what? What if he was like, well,

it's nice to meet you. I'd say, I'm out of material. See? I'm out of your material. Thank you for the support. I think if you two met Hunter Biden, you'd both have a great time. Yeah, I would out of your material. Thank you for the support. I think if you two met Hunter Biden, you'd both have a great time.

Yeah, I would love him. Yeah. I just want to know what all the money was for. Well, he's going to tell you. What's he going to say? I'd ask him for his art agent. Chinese hookers or whatever the fuck he had. What do you think the money was for?

I think it was for his intellect and his expertise. Crack? But he doesn't have expertise. He doesn't have that. He's got it all. What do you really think it's for? I know you're joking, but he doesn't have x doesn't have that he's got it. He's got it all What do you really think it's for I know you're joking, but what do you think it's for? What do you think all the money from the the company the for his Ukrainian company Bursa? Yeah Yeah, I think it was a bribe for who for what for I don't know his dad to access to bind

Yeah, yeah as vice president to be clear. We're talking about vice presidential years, right? Yeah, that's when it happened, right? And then to what? What was the bribe? Was Obama in office when the money was happening? Do you even know what's happening? I know Hunter Biden received kickbacks from some of you. Do you not read medical studies about Hunter Biden? No, unfortunately, medical studies. His corpus callosum is all bugging.

His corpus callosum has been bugging out lately, unfortunately. Would you touch Hunter Biden's corpus callosum if he asked you nicely? I would V-gouge the shit out of Hunter Biden's corpus callosum. What do you think that money was for? Because he got the money. I think the money, it was probably a bribe of some sort. To what? To, I don't know, Biden makes sure Ukraine gets whatever they want.

What do they want? Should that disqualify Biden? It's a joint NATO deal. Is that what you want? Well, no, that's what they wanted. I mean, you? Should that disqualify Biden? It's a joint NATO. So you do know. Well, no, that's what they wanted. I mean, you're saying Does that disqualify him as president? Means he's a good

negotiator. I mean, it's not like this show can do anything to affect the presidency, but so should that disqualify him as president? Like, should that, because you know that story was suppressed. I don't know what the rules are for, uh. There's not a rule on this. There's was suppressed. I don't know what the rules are for, uh... There's not a rule on this. There's no rules.

We had a fake election. There's no rules. Well, no, but there are rules about you can't take certain campaign donations or just gifts. Emoluments clause is what you're talking about.

But there wasn't, so the emoluments clause is misunderstood frequently. Yeah. But it's literally like a state cannot, a foreign state cannot employ you

and a local state cannot employ a federal president or elected official. But Hunter Biden is not that. Right, exactly. Yeah, that's above board. Fuck it. Well, I'm not saying it's above board.

Well, it's above board in the eyes of the fucking law. I don't think it is. Well, then what law did they break? Well, probably several. That's just the emoluments clause. Well, probably several. That's just the emoluments clause. I don't know.

If you're the vice president's son, someone should pay for your crack. I think that's a reasonable standard for this country. Isn't that Joe's? So Joe's a failed father. Should the vice president's son suffer for crack? No. Joe Biden's a failed father. Shouldn't he be buying the crack for his son?

What about if Putin had bought him crack? You know, you guys are just disrespecting. I'm pro-crack. You know, Bo died for this? No. Oh, that was the funniest part of the State of the Union. Jesus Christ. Which part?

When Biden was talking about Bo dying. That was the best part for you? That was funny. Okay. Well, I mean, wasn't it? No! It's like, oh, my son was like living in a tar pit. He breathed in tar. That was right after that lady Republican stood up and was like,

you're responsible for 13 of those bodies! If you're, honestly, if you're at the State of the Union for the other guy and you're not getting dragged out by security, you are not representing your people Oh, look at that like Ted Cruz up there What are you doing Ted sit the fuck down like at least sit down and take a nap? I'm bringing liquor in oh, this is gonna be a great fucking The police it's all gonna to work out, everybody.

Aren't you glad about that? I am very glad that he said that. Are you happy that he's bringing back the super predator? Yes. You're glad that he said fund the police? Yes. Why? Because we're going to fucking lose if he doesn't.

Because we're so fucked unless he fucking says anything. Who's we? Who do you think we is? Just the rational, sane people. Do you think Biden should have... Who don't want to watch our country descend into fascist totalitarianism? Should Biden have brought up 1350 in his State of the Union?

He's like, look, I've been looking at this and my advisors are saying that 50% of the crime is caused by 13% of the population. I mean, should he have done that? He should have said... That's why we're going to fund the police. 13% of the population just I mean, should he have done that? He should have said, that's why we're going to fund the police. 13% of the population just needs a little help in hand.

What's a, I agree with you. What is a fascist dystopia look like? Like what happens? What's happening in Russia right now? It's pretty bad. Like the U.S. canceling all your bank accounts? I agree with you.

That's fascist. No, no. Like taking independent media off the air and arresting protesters. Like with the U.S.? Passing a law. That's what Canada did, isn't it? Passing a law.

Shut up. Passing a law that if you lie about the war, you can get up to 15 years in prison. Oh, you can't call it a war, by the way. That's considered lying. It's not a war. You can't call it an invasion. They haven't made a declaration of war. What is it?

It's a peacekeeping. No. It's a peacekeeping mission. It's a military exercise, isn't it? Donbass said they're independent. He sent guys in. It's a special military operation. It's special.

A SMO. It's a SMO. SMOs are fine. We love a good SMO. We haven't had anything other than a SMO since the Korean War. Russia's looking real bad. You think so? It's bad to pass a law that you're going to jail people for

Speaking their mind about a subject So Canada's bad because they jailed Arthur Palowski for speaking about COVID right? Uh sure Yeah Okay I don't live in Canada I don't care you can talk shit about Canada all you want Go nuts Okay so we have

Keyboard Warriors That's special What do you call it Yeah no Trudeau's a fucking idiot too Oh you don't like Trudeau Are you a fan of his black face I love the black face

He nailed it I know you like the black face I'm all for it He looked good Well one of the One of the problems We have on this show Is the war on black face

I think black face Is you know Actually I wanna This motherfucker Didn't even do black face He's not even committed He did Me?

No, not you Trudeau Indian face He was dressed up as Aladdin That's not blackface That's bullshit Yeah, but he was like really black He was even blacker than a black guy

Yeah He was like He was black Aladdin I know, he was like Uganda Aladdin He got the wrong ink Yeah Like he got black shoe polish He was blurple

He was blurple face You ever see anybody do blackface like in real life? I have I do it every day I had a buddy show up to a to a Halloween party in a not-good area of town that many black people were at this party Luckily, so he was drew he had an accordion and like shoe polish over his face. He's like I'm Oracle I'm Oracle, but everyone just thought he was like a shitty homeless accordion player so he got away with it. So their own racism

saved him. Wait, has anybody checked in on Urkel lately? That might literally be him. It's very possible he has not. Who played Urkel?

Steven Jalil White. Yeah, Jalil. The voice of Sonic the Hedgehog but now he's cut out. Sonic 2 is not going out in Russia Can you believe that? Oh the Sonic 2

Yeah well they're cutting him off Very fascist Fuck the Russians I saw guys do The funniest blackface I ever saw Was at UCB At Tournament of Nerds Where you just

You know nerds are arguing These guys did That sounds exceptionally gay No dude it was great It was fucking Cause it was a midnight show. Oh, okay. So everybody would be lit

and you would say, like, this was right before cancel shit started. Sure. So you would come out hard like saying wild shit. These guys, these guys were representing

white chicks, the movie. Oh, perfect. So they came out, they came out as just themselves in a wig and did kind of a shitty job like being white chicks. And then for the second round they came out

and pretended that they were Damon and Marlon Wayans taking off the makeup but they were putting on blackface and they were like this is why and they were doing like the worst black voice like explaining why it's funny that they were pretending to be white but they were smearing fucking blackface

on and I was in the audience and I said this is the most funniest thing I've ever seen in my fucking life I was looking around and people were like oh my god that's pretty good

I came we gotta bring it back no you can bring it back I'm bringing back blackface I'm gonna make it happen how about you am I bringing back you did your tour

I've done my time I've look I've fought on the front lines of Blackface For enough years Now it's time for a young pup like Vito to take over I think now's the time I'll see you in Blackface next week Is it against the YouTube rules if I do Blackface? Dude it's against like

The law What if I just make one video Where I just don't mention it And I talk about Star Wars Against the Earth rules I think No I talk about Star Wars against the earth rules I think no wait this is definitely

not against the rules how can you believe it and everyone goes why did you are you gonna do a voice no no no it'll just be like you know perfectly

what shade of black I guess are you gonna be like Lando black or are you gonna be like the guy in the sequels what if I did Lando cosplay and then I just go got a new Lando costume or are you going to be like the guy in the sequels? What if I did Lando cosplay and then I just

go, got a new Lando costume, one of my favorite characters, or Finn, I could be Finn. Yeah, Finn's his name. No, no one likes Finn. He sucks. Yeah, but like how

black are you going to be? Are you going to be Lando Black or Finn Black? Which one's which? Finn's darker than Lando.

Yeah. They should have made Finn Blacker. Don't you think? Like so he could blend in with space. So he would go like, I'm in.

So he could do like, if he just closed. Where did that guy go? He has to close his mouth and his eyes. And he like, takes his clothes off. He's like, don't worry.

Don't worry, fools. I got this. And he strips. That was a joke in Mystery Men. Yeah. I love that scene. That's the funniest fucking movie. God,

that movie doesn't get enough credit. I know. Right? But Finn is like, and then he's thinking of something funny. He's the funniest fucking movie. God, that movie doesn't get enough credit. I know. Right? But Finn is like... And then he's thinking of something funny. He's like, don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh.

Then he's like, ha ha. There he is. Bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. We should be writing Star Wars, I think. I think this is what Disney needs. I should be writing Star Wars. You didn't contribute to that. Fair enough

Fucking Matt Damon-ing me over here Or Ben Affleck Whichever one Oh they go both contributed equally I'm sure Okay Keyboard Warriors Futurama

Fans I said Futurama fans But it really is just the show Well no Futurama Fans are the problem I 100% Cause they're the reason he keeps coming back

They won't let this fucking thing die, this shitty fan base. But how can you shit on Hope? Kind of like Ginsburg. It's kind of like Ginsburg. They just wouldn't let it die. No. That bitch should have offed herself early. She did.

You think? Yeah, she was brought back. Not early enough. I'll tell you that right now. No, that was necromancy that kept her around, I'm sure. Dark magics. Eating the foreskins. Well, Hillary and the spirit cooking.

They've been keeping a lot of who I have for a while Foreskins of who yeah whom sorry her name is Ginsburg So what the fuck are we going? No, no, it's moving along What it what is what is Ginsburg what do you mean I wish that I had my foreskin every day Yeah, yeah every day. I do a penis inspection of myself. Then you get the smegma. That's awesome. How much docking do you want to do

in your life? So it's gay and gross? No, I'm just asking. I even suggest that I want my penis foreskin back in both of you guys. You wouldn't be able to dock if you had foreskin.

No, you did not say you wanted it back. You want more every day. So every day you want like this tube of foreskin hanging off your dick. I'll take it. Okay.

Are you monkey pawing me? No, I'm just asking. I'm trying to understand. Every day I'm sad that I don't have my foreskin. Okay. Okay. But your fore, not like,

not like every day you want more. No, not someone else's foreskin. Well, some people want that. Who wants his foreskin? I don't want any foreskin. I'm circumcised. Does that help? No, I'm just saying,

like you said, every day you want more foreskin. I'm circumcised. Does that help? No, I'm just saying, like you said, every day you want more foreskin. So that would necessarily increase the amount of foreskin as days go on. I guess, yeah. Eventually be just dragging behind you as you walk down the road. I'm de-gouging this bit. It's done. It's not a bit.

I'm just curious. You don't wake up every day and go, damn, I wish I had that fucking foreskin back. No. Why not? I don't know, man. All kinds that fucking foreskin back. No. Why not? I don't know, man. All kinds of sensitivities in you. You have no idea if that's actually real.

I have no idea if what? If that's actually real. What? You're more sensitive? Yeah. What do you mean? I have no idea. I have a dick.

Yeah, but you don't know what your dick would have felt like with the foreskin. I know that it would be, uh, more sensitive. You have more shit to play with. You don't know that it would be more sensitive. You have more shit to play with. You don't know that. Well, okay.

How could you? You would only know it if as an adult you guys took a stance. I know that I shut my eyes if I feel like, oh God, shut my eyes. Get it out of here.

If my dick had eyelids, it would be more sensitive. Does that not make sense? Wait, but your eyes are more sensitive without the eyelids. No, they would toughen up. You don't know that.

Nick, if you saw my dick, you would understand. I'm not doing this. It looks like a football. It looks like the tip of a football. That's embarrassing for you. Is it? I don't know. I'm staying out of this.

I have no idea. You don't ever wish like, oh, man, I wish I had that. You've asked me that multiple times. Here we go. I can solve this. We need a neutral party. Vito can look at a picture of your dick and tell me. Someone in the chat tell me. Okay, I'll show you a picture

of my dick. Foreskin owners in the chat, if you love it, if every day you wake up and stick your finger under there and rub it around a little bit. But they wouldn't know either. You have to be an adult who gets... Well, yeah, but they would know if they're happy. We can solve this. Look, some chat member with a foreskin needs to go in

and get circumcised for the show. We need a Jewish convert. And they need to find out if they're more or less sensitive. Now, they'll lie about it, though. Why would they lie about it? Because they got fucking circumcised! That's why all circumcised people lie about it! They're like, oh, well, I didn't fuck up.

I just have no penis. I wonder if circumcised men are more likely to become dribblers. Do you if circumcised men are more likely How bad was your circumcision? To become dribblers You think circumcised men Are more likely to dribble to cum? Okay That's the end of the show Thank you

Go to vote at biggestproblem.show Nick do you want to plug your little show? While you're here Why do you get to insult his show? That was way more dismissive and shitty Why do you get to insult a show, a little show? Look, I have... It's like a whole fucking problem. You want to play a little show? That was way more dismissive and shitty. I have a little show on YouTube called Reketa Law.

Come check it out. Or you can check out my Twitch channel, twitch.tv forward slash Reketa Law. All right. I'm 500 followers away from doing a yoga thought stream in yoga pants. No, don't do that. I'm 100% going to do it. Are they going to see if you're circumcised or not on that show?

I don't think my dick's going to be out. You're going to be wearing yoga pants, though. Yeah, but... How many subs for you to get a sloppy subway sub? Extra mayo.

Oh, I get that on every sub. I'm a white guy. I love mayo. Extra mayo? Extra mayonnaise for me please Yeah that would be Okay Patreon.com

Slash biggest problem We're doing voicemails now Ready? Yes Hey guys I just wanted to say Putin is based Yeah

Fuck Ukraine Fuck Europe Fuck NATO Fuck America Fuck Vito And most of all Fuck Jennings Vote down Putin Vote up Jennings Jennings? Fuck NATO, fuck America, fuck Vito, and most of all, fuck jannies.

Vote down Putin, vote up jannies. Jannies? Jannies. Jannies. Oh, like moderators. Yeah. We hate them. What do you think about that?

He said fuck Vito. Oh, he's got a lot to say. Can you not queue up everyone that says fuck Vito? It's like fuck Vito 1, fuck Vito 2. All right. I read a negative comment about me. Why don't you bring in a comment if you're so fucking worried about... Just play the fucking thing. Hey, this is a voicemail for both of you guys, Vito and Dick. This show, man, I just love, love, love this show.

You guys got it. Perfect chemistry. You agree on all the right things. You disagree on all the righter things. love love the show you guys got it perfect chemistry you agree this is good for you you disagree on all the writer things just keep going even if you guys hate each other a little bit on the inside just suck it the fuck up i don't hate vito at all what you guys got going it's great love the show what a nice voicemail that was a a little gay. Yeah. It was like... He was probably being sarcastic. No, he wasn't being sarcastic.

He loves us, Dick. Probably likes me more because of what I bring to the show. Maybe you should send him a dick pic. I could. Maybe he can cut my hair. Yeah, you know what? If you want a dick pic from me, just let me know. I'll send you a dick pic.

Thank you for the lovely voicemail. Nick, I'll send you one. Don't you dare. You fucking send me a dick pic. I'll send you one every day. I'll send you one. Don't you dare. I'll send you one every day. I'll send you a handwritten email. Vito Gray co-host right next to Vito Mouthpiece for U.S. State Department.

I love the titles of these. You know what? I want a black everything. I want a black Wonder Woman. Yep. I want a black Batman. I want a black Superman. Black man.

I want it all. I want to piss everybody off. Because you know what? It doesn't fucking matter if you care what color a fictional character is. Thank you. I don't care. You know what? He does care.

I want a movie about the Ku Klux Klan where every single- Everyone's black. Yeah. That's awesome. Doesn't mean anything. Black Klan. Black Klan. Everybody black in every movie.

Black Klansman exists as a movie. Who the fuck cares? What's it about? A Black Klansman exists as a movie. What's it about? A Black Klansman. No, that's not what it's about. I didn't watch this shit. It's about a black police officer who poses as a Klansman over the phone. Sure. And then he sends in his white colleague to pretend to be him and they infiltrate the Klan.

And David Duke is played by... David Duke? Topher Grace. Oh, really? They should have gotten David Duke to do the role. That 70s show. That's cool. be him and they infiltrate the clan and david duke is played by david duke tofer gary tofer grace oh we should have gotten david duke to do the 70s show that's cool rare return that was nice of them to cast they are making a black superman by the way and i'm excited they already did that it was called steel with shaquille o'neal no that's not superman that's it's based on the superman successor steel no yeah that was garbage. Superman's successor. Well, he fucking died.

It's not my fault that he died. I remember when it happened. Is Steel still dead in the comics? No, not Steel dying. Superman died and then he came back. Okay. What kind of... What color sun does black Superman get his powers from? None.

He wears a reflective suit. He's really not a Kryptonianian he's just a guy with a cool metal suit he has a suit where he literally reflects all sunlight oh wow that's pretty black yeah it's his metal suit send me that uh magic his skin absorbs all sunlight that's the melanin hey beta i really love you uh you're like really great and my favorite thing is when shit Jesus Christ fuck you shut the fuck up yeah I know so I'm shitting on you because you can't do anything about it

shut the fuck up fuck you you piece of shit you're a fucking moron never leave a voicemail again I think the voicemail won. That was a good... He was a better debater than you. That was embarrassing. No, I nailed it.

He didn't even get to hear your response, and he still had better responses to yours. I like the previous callers who said how great I am. And I'm going to just listen to them. Hey, dipshit. I'm talking to you, Vito. You literally sound like a mouthpiece for the State Department. Are you a fan of coups?

Yes. Well, the U.S. backed a coup in 2014 to change the Ukrainian government so they wouldn't make deals with Russia. Since the coup, they have killed 14,000 people in the Donbass region. The Ukrainian government did, not Russia. And this was a response to them constantly bombing them. What do you think about that? Propaganda.

This is not true. The amount of Nazi militia the country should be allowed to have integrated into their National Guard. I'm pro-integration. Hey, man, I'm all about free speech. As many Nazi militias as you want I don't care What about how they bombed all of the Donbass guys? Those guys were fucking around

What about his advice to stay off of Reddit? What do you think about that? What, the Ukrainian president or me? Was I not supposed to be on Reddit? He told you to stay off of Reddit I don't do anything on Reddit Except tell the fans they're pieces of shit

Okay, one more Do you want those magic cards on? He told you to stay off of Reddit. I don't do anything on Reddit, except tell the fans they're pieces of shit. Okay, one more. Do you want this Magic Cards one? Well, you can just send that to me for later, unless you want to play it. Do you know what it is? I love Magic Cards. I mean, I'm just excited to hear people talk about Magic Cards. You want it sent to you privately? Yeah, I want to know what he said about Magic Cards.

You're acting like you know what it is, but it's like a secret message. Well, maybe it is. All right, just play it, then. Hey, I'm catching up on Biggest Problem, and some two episodes behind, Vito's talking about paying a premium on Magic Cards at a local game shop. Yes. And it just reminded me of going to a local game shop up here in Portland,

and I bought some miniatures. He's from Portland, no wonder he likes Vito. And took them home and then I was reading the box and I realized that the miniatures were made of resin and not die-cast. I thought I had bought.

So I went right back to the store and I brought them back and they refused to refund my purchase. No refunds! That's a good problem. That's a good problem. The box is still wrapped in the cellophane with the same price tag on it from that store. Yeah.

That's bullshit. They refused to refund my purchase. So, yeah, fuck. Fuck local games. Fuck local businesses. Fuck local businesses in general. All local businesses suffer. Subways and game stores alike.

Okay. Well, guys guys what a show Fantastic Bridges have been mended Much like the Much like the Corpus Callosum Connects the left and right hemisphere We have reached left to right across the aisle

And come to an understanding Were you nervous when you knew that Nick was going to be here? I just was like Is this problem going to be again obesity or something Because I didn is this problem going to be, again, obesity or something? Because I didn't prepare a Nick-specific problem. Do you think obesity is a problem? Yes, of course. Do you think I need to tell people that obesity is a problem?

Well, no, but you could get easy points, obviously. That's the only reason why you were nervous about Nick being here? Well, because I didn't prepare. I was like, was I supposed to prepare a Nick-specific bit? But thankfully... That's the only reason? Not like because you said all those things? No, I was like, what's going to happen?

I knew, what is he going to do? Punch me in the face? If he still has time to do so. What if I stabbed you? What if I was just mad at him and started stabbing you in the shit? Plenty of time. If I've hurt your feelings, Nick.

Yeah, what happened if you hurt my feelings? I'm sorry. Oh, okay. If I hurt your feelings, I'm not. Okay. Okay, cool. Fair enough. Now you're being a hurt your feelings, I'm not. Okay. Okay, cool. Fair enough. Now you're being a keyboard.

No, I'm not sorry. Why would... He shouldn't be sorry either. It's not sorry. It's fun. It's fun to be on the internet. I take no offense. I literally don't care.

No. It's cool. You don't have to be sorry about it at all. I love the little streams you're doing. They're cute. I'm just fucking around. I'm just fucking around. How do you feel about the Friday Night Tides guys?

I mean, I hate the content they make. How can you hate it? It's just like 10 people talking and having a good time. It's what we all want the world to be. Sure, but they have really shitty takes and they know nothing about movies. Oh.

They're ruining our ability to talk about movies. I should have brought in the sophisticated listener. That's very problematic. You fucked it up with your bread thing

and your V-gouges or whatever you were talking about. I literally drank enough whiskey to forget and I didn't drink that much. Well, come back in. Okay.

Come in any time. Come in at some point. Hey, call me. We'll come back in. Come in anytime. I always come inside. Pincolo the driving ape sends us a poop emoji. Great discourse, Pincolo. For five, he also says, amazing. Vito walked into that like kids walking into their classroom. I believe that is a Sandy Hook callback. Echo Chamber show

for two says, Vito is so PHAT he can't stop eating his foot. Fat is good. That means I'm fly. Baron Julius Von Bronk for two says I'd buy that for a dollar. Eric Gare for two says need cleaning recommendations for my World War II flags. Got to bleach those things. Get the colors out.

Less white for two says just for you, Nick. Unbreaded. Unbreaded unbreaded fidacious fidacious for ten these breaded guys definitely have

written cock articled I assume he means cock articles never assume what the chat means blocks pickles for five

Vito we will donate more if you start in OnlyFans I'll show my feet I don't care deathles for five. Vito, we will donate more if you start in OnlyFans. I'll show my feet. I don't care. Death Trout for five. Nick, how bad is Vito's gravitational pull affecting you right now?

Get over here. I'm strapped into the chair. It's fine. We had to put a buckle around him. Peter R for ten. Careful, Nick. Sitting that close to Vito, it's almost guaranteed you'll catch the stupid. He's got a terminal case of the stupids, too, as evidenced by his vote for Biden.

Thank you, Peter. That's the nicest insult I've ever read. You got a case of the stupids. I got a case of the stupids. Terminal. Just cut that idiot. And he gave us $10 to let me know that. Shinchan for 20 says, you are wrong, Nick.

Waterworld is still the best Kevin Costner movie. Jesus Christ. Make sure you guys drink too much tonight. Did Drex bail on Road Rage? Yeah, he did. He's not here. Cock suck. Giant pussy.

What a disappointment. To be fair for five, of course the government lifts the vaccine mandate garbage. Shut up. Don't fucking. Did I say it? You did. I suck, Cox. All right.

Of course the government lifts... I said it. The government lifts the vaccine mandate garbage right before the 299 road rage, making me miss it for nothing. Vito voted for this. Wait, what happened? He didn't come because of the mandates or something. And now the mandates are gone.

That's how they get you. It's your fault. It is my fault. I voted for it. They should have lifted them earlier. This is Hunter Biden's fault. Chris is my fault. I voted for it. They should have lifted them earlier. This is Hunter Biden's fault. Chris Webb for five. I don't know why he has all that money.

Why he thinks he has all that money. Why don't you fucking ask him? I don't know. I don't know. You come to me with like 50 fucking conspiracy theories about Hunter Biden did a thing. He's got money. He's sensitive about this. Biden's in the CIA sent Nazis into Donbass.

I don't care. You sort it out. You sort it out. Wouldn't you agree that people who get hyper defensive about things that like they shouldn't know might actually know something? I mean, yeah, it seems like Vito would be like, look, look, just fucking ask him. Me and Hunter Biden are best friends. We're going to hang out with Subway Jared and have him make weird sandwiches.

If he invites his cousin or niece over, please just leave. Hunter? Please just leave immediately. What was the girl who took showers and didn't like it? It was his niece. All of them. Women hate getting wet. No, I meant Biden's family specifically.

And we're going down a rabbit hole. Random username for Vive. USA is funding Enz Salon. Who is Enz? Dot com. Oh, you can go to salon dot com slash the US backing neo-nazis in Ukraine

okay well that's we'll have to check that out there you go Al Hunt for five Vito beats around the bush so much to sack up and name names alright well I named

some names I know I said I hope Ralph mends some bridges what bridges just you know he's fighting with a lot of different people

like Medicare you hope he mends that bridge well I don't think Medeker wants to mend that bridge Medeker doesn't want to be friends with anybody and that's fine that's his choice

no he does he's a regular guy he likes anime he specifically said I'm not friends with anybody oh yeah like when a chick says oh I totally don't want

to suck your cock tonight that means oh she's totally off limits I think Medeker is his own man but there's other people who I think Ralph Medeker likes anime

so you know yeah I know Ralph... Medeker likes anime. So you know... Yeah, I know he likes anime. He likes intense relationships and friendships. That's true. He should like the power of friendship. It is a central theme. I don't buy that no internet friendship shit. Sorry.

I also don't buy that. I have plenty of internet friends. I understand it, but... Well... I don't buy it. He was being nice. He was trying to help Ralph. Well, he's trapped in his house, so maybe he feels the need to...

I didn't know that shit, that he was so... That makes me think about that whole, like... He's super fucking sick, yeah. I didn't know... That makes me feel weird about the whole our COVID debate, too. Yeah, when you shit all over him for hours. I don't see it that way. It's really rude of you.

Like, this is a sick guy who's out there. He's concerned about leaving his house because he might get... You know know someone might Literally kill him And you're like You pussy I listen to that You're like yeah

You fucking pussy Just leave your house You piece of shit Just go out and die You cancer patient Alright That was a little insensitive Maybe dial a bank

How did you not know about that Yes I do I don't know I'm not up everyone's ass All the time About their fucking medical shit You're kind of being A bit of a keyboard warrior there.

I said it right to his face. Yeah, I bet if you saw Medicare in real life, you wouldn't cough in his face, you fucking pussy. I'm covered with disease. You shouldn't get anywhere near me. Don't you think that made a difference? Like, oh, shit, you have autoimmune stuff? I think we should have. It makes a huge difference on how you approach an issue for yourself, for sure.

Yeah. All this social drama that's been going on everybody that we need social bankruptcy where when you have fucked up and driven away so many people you get to go i declare social bankruptcy all of my debts all my debts are unpaid everyone saved by going going, I declare social bankruptcy. Everyone has to give you, they go, alright. He gets one. How many do you get? You get one. You get a lot of regular bankruptcy. Like every five years or something? No, you can do them all the time.

You can do one? I thought there was like a four year waiting period between bankruptcies. No. Well, it's hard to get. Well, then what? It's hard to get more debt. You just rack up more debts. It's hard to get debt with the existing bankruptcy. That's what makes it difficult to get more debt. You just rack up more debts. It's hard to get debt with the existing bankruptcy. That's what makes it difficult to get another one. I think at this point, there should be a global social bankruptcy

where we all agree to reset all grudges, all slates. Yeah. Maybe if they killed your kid, you can hold on to that one. But, you know. I feel kind of bad for that argument now after listening to that. You kind of are a piece of shit. You're a bad man. I debated someone who was just retarded.

He didn't have any autoimmune issues. He was like, yeah, we should lock people in their houses and shoot them if they come out. I was like, well, that's a little strong of a position for me. Let's bang the rest of these out. Flip and dip for 10. We're fucking boring you, me and Nick? No, I don't want to drag the fucking liberal... What, are we fucking boring you? Me and Nick talking about... No, I don't want to drag the fucking thing on.

Whose show is this, Dick? It's my show. For being the most liberal of you three, Vito casually says the most racist stuff. Yeah, of course. Because liberals are allowed to be racist. Let's see. Rare steak cubes for five.

Vito should have a laugh track. Maybe his jokes would be funny. Well, fuck you. Fraud for five. Shout out should have a laugh track. Maybe his jokes would be funny. Well, fuck you. Fraud for five. Shout out to bag... Frode? Don't call him fraud. It's Frode. You pronounce it wrong. Frode for five. Shout out to bag of Schmidt. I wish

he could have been there at the zoo today. I saw lots of bears, kangaroos and even an elephant. Wow. So cool. Crazy. That's cool. Echo Chamber show for 10. Make Nick describe his peanut butter and jelly triple decker, but in a Kermit voice. We're not doing that.

Robert Davidson for five. Good show, Nick and Dick. What the fuck is that? He forgot you. He forgot you. Piece of shit. No, because they have a text limit. Like, you can only put in so many characters.

You could have put a V in there Shinshan again for five Mystery Men with Kel Mitchell, Nick, and Dick Has redeemed themselves on movies Dick is wrong on Norm Macdonald though Norm was the best comedian, I agree No, John Rivers was the best comedian of all time You don't like Norm Macdonald?

He likes him, but he doesn't elevate him Did you see Dirty Work? That's a horrible movie Fucking great No, Dirty Work is dumb And everyone That was the worst part of Norm dying Is everyone saying Dirty Work? That's a horrible movie. Fucking great. No, Dirty Work is dumb. And everyone, that was the worst part of Norm dying, is everyone saying Dirty Work is good. It wasn't good.

Dirty Work was always good. No, it was great. No, it was... God damn it, don't make me agree with Vito. See, this is your friend. Sometimes the center left knows what they're talking about. They wasted Shooter McGavin. He did his dumb talking into the recorder bit from Saturday Night Live.

I was like, come on, man. Happy Gilmore was a good fucking movie. Billy Madison was a good fucking movie. Dirty Work. Good fucking movie. Abortion. Wow. I can't believe you.

Whatever. All Dick does is talk shit about comedians. Tell him what you think about Bob Saget. He died from the cure. No, no, no, no, no, no. Baron Julius von Brunk for two. a foreskin is superior, prove me wrong Loretta Silvermember for five That reminds me of the joke Vito told

There's no sun for black Superman to get I never told this joke I'm gonna put that right there I didn't read the joke But it is not my joke Superman gets his powers from the sun that abandoned him There's no sun for black Superman to get his powers from Because he abandoned it

Other way around Do not clip that Other way around Well that's what he said Hit refresh let me check if there's any new ones Do you have to do this on your show Nick? Read all these super chats? No I'm better at managing super chats than you

What do you mean? Go to your other fucking page. Go to the live streaming page. Another page. We'll go there in two seconds. Click on there. Click on viewer activity. No, because it doesn't bring them all up.

We keep missing them. What the fuck is viewer activity? Right down next to analytics. That one next to analytics. I swear we missed some. Why are you repeating what he said? No, but I'm saying I swear when we do viewer activity, some of them go missing. Analytics? Yeah, next to analytics. Right there. I swear when we do viewer activity some of them go missing where? analytics?

next to analytics right there so the only ones that it misses are the ones that come in before the stream starts and if you refresh and if you don't have it open like now you have to have that open

the whole time? what? did you need analytics open the whole time? yeah I want to see how many people are watching you have current viewers

right there 500 people are watching? is that the way we're doing it? how many people are watching. You have current viewers right there. 500 people are watching? 540 people are watching. Yes. Oh my God. Congratulations. That's a lot of people. Biggestproblem.show.

To vote on the problems, please vote. Let us know which problems were good and which were bad. And patreon.com slash biggest problem. We have bonus episodes. You can listen to them. Wait, read that shit from Slagless. From Slagless for five, the guy Nick debated spoke at AFPAC

about how evil the lockdowns are. That motherfucker, that piece of, God damn it. Why did that guy suck? That was the debate that we had right at the beginning of COVID. And I'm like, no, these lockdowns are bullshit. This is right after Governor Beshear in Kentucky.

Remember that guy? He leaves the house andy basheer uh i think it's his name he the guy leaves the hospital in kentucky right at the beginning of covid the hospital calls up and is like oh you might have covid a bunch of cops whose house yes so they locked him in his house and i'm like hey that's fucking fascistic nonsense we don't do that in that in the US and and this guy's like no We got to do it COVID's gonna kill us all and like wait So what what are the cops supposed to do if the guy leaves his house and they're like we'll tell him to go back inside What if he doesn't shoot him? Yeah, like shoot him and I'm like, yeah, he's a carrier. Are you fucking patient zero? Are you kidding me? And he's he's like no we gotta do it apocalypse rules. So that guy's at a pack

You want a fucking grifter? God damn- You're mad as a grifter. Why aren't you at AFPAC? Come on. I have- A simple reason I'm not at AFPAC, I actually have children. Yeah. I'm actually saving the white race.

And what is that all about? You're the original trad, you're not the fake and're not the fake The only way to save The right ways Is to have children Like alright guys We gotta have And then in

20 years None of them do That's the thing White people having kids Over Mexicans Ability to have kids Good fucking luck Spider Eternal for two

Over Afpac My dad has 72 cousins Real quick Spider Eternal for two Says I has 72 cousins real quick spider eternal for two says I'm not snipped women love it I love it recommended

well that's a vote you guys got all fucking uncomfortable when I said it's better to be uncircumcised why don't you go get one put back on

you can't I've looked into a device you've looked into that yeah I've looked into a device that's like a thing that tugs your wiener skin

no not a tug like you can't get that tugs your wiener skin. No, not a tug. You can't get a transplant of your foreskin. You just need like three or four donors. Foreskins? No, no. Because they're very young. Then it's all fucking Frankenstein cock. But it's all messed up.

That's cockenstein. That's a sales pitch right there. If you're watching, don't forget to subscribe to the channel. You know, it really helps us out. Hit that subscribe button. That's what cuties should have been about. What? Circumcising.

This guy's crazy idea to cut little boy's penises off. Don't subscribe to the channel. Subscribe to the Patreon. Subscribe everywhere. CommonWeeb42 asks, why is paypig.org locked? I don't know. Probably because it's annoying. We're not in service for anyone for free speechig.org locked? I don't know. Probably because it's annoying. We're not in service for anyone for free speech.

Is it locked? I might have done that. People sign up to do free speech and they just... All right. What did you think was going to happen? It's a waste of time. All right. We got one more in here.

Scroll down. Mike Hunt. I can't scroll down, Nick. Scroll down. Look. Asshole. Nick's idea of... Oh, zoom out. scroll down Mike Hunt I can't scroll down Nick scroll down look asshole and Nick's idea of zoom out

go to this separate page oh I'm sorry that you have vision problems we had a perfect system going and Nick comes in tries to big names is that better

what did you fucking do no zoom out how how are you bad at 200% you're zooming in you go other way which way am I supposed to zoom?

Control minus. Control minus. Oh my god. Dick is zooming in tremendously. Control minus. Don't you think it's funny that Swiper knows swiping? It's still funny. Yeah, it's good shit.

Just go back to the page we were on. This page is terrible anyway. I'm trying to zoom out. Look, I'm scrolling down. Okay, then it's broken. Then go back to the other page so I can read the Super Chips. I love is terrible anyway. I'm trying to zoom out. Look, I'm scrolling down. Okay, then it's broken. Then go back to the other page so I can read the Super Chats. I love it. Look, I'm one of the top Super Chat performers in the world.

I'm telling you. I think you're doing it wrong. Just because you get a lot of them doesn't mean you're good at finding them. I read all of them. All right. Zoom out for the love of God. Zoom out. This is embarrassing.

Go to the other page. What do you want me to press? Control minus. I want you to press the trigger. There, that does it. This is embarrassing. Look. Go to the other page. What do you want me to press? Control minus. I want you to press the trigger. There. That does it. Keep doing it. Okay.

Go to 100% and see what happens. All right. It's fucking broken. So just go to the other page. Fucking amazing. Oh, wow. Wait. Click the scroll bar.

I fucked it up. I fucked it up. Click the scroll bar on the right thing. How did you... How do you... Oh, how did I fuck that up? Maxim fucked it up. Click the scroll bar on the right thing. How did you... How do you... Oh, how did I fuck that up? Maximize the window. Fucking imagine.

Maximize the window. Okay. Scroll back to the window we were on. It was working perfectly. All right, it worked now if you maximize it. Don't make it smaller. I can't read it. God damn it.

Mike Hunt for five says, Bringing back Hank Scorpio is like adding Black Elves to Lord of the Rings. Thank you, Mike. Well, gentlemen, we've said it all. We've said it all. Thanks for being on the show, Nick. Anytime. You're finally on a Biggest Problem episode.

Isn't that kind of funny? It's very weird. After seven years? This started all of it in some stupid way. Me yelling at Maddox in the comments about homeowners associations and why he's retarded has now led to this. It's all come full circle. I'm not retarded.

All right. Goodbye, everybody. Thanks, everybody. Don't forget to vote. Biggestproblem.show. Peace.