The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 62

Episode Date: October 29, 2022

Finding the Edge on Packing Tape, Franchise Crossovers, Pedo Jacketing, Holiday Decorations  

I'll say I think I made that that bookie thumbnail was pretty good. I spent some time making that thumbnail. It was good Yeah, I had to find his logo cartoon avatar Color coordinated with the avatar It's great I'm all about the thumbnail. It was great all about the thumbnail game, Dick All about those thumbnails Okay, live Wonderful

Do you prune out when the show actually starts? No, because it would make the Because I think it gets rid of the live chat archive Oh, it does? Do you prune out when the show actually starts? No, because it would make the... Because I think it gets rid of the live chat archive. Oh, it does? Yeah. Oh. So I've been doing that the whole time.

You've been destroying the live chat for the show every time you prune it, yes. Not that everybody looks... People need those precious comments that everybody has. They're not, like, crucial. Like, it's fine if like the beginning of the show is a complete dumpster fire of 30 minutes then obviously it's better to chop it off i guess that's true but normally it's better to leave the live yeah it doesn't know how to the live chat's like one contained thing and it's like if you cut off part of it

it doesn't know what to do mother fucker uh sorry I didn't make you aware of that earlier. You know what I probably still would have done it show starts now You have your problems oh fuck yeah, I have my fucking problems what kind of question is I haven't had a drink in a while. Just FYI. No, you're prepared. I got to stop fighting with Eric July. They tricked me into it. Who's winning that fight now? I mean, obviously he's winning.

He has way more of a following, if that's what a win counts as. Well, ask Kanye. His enemies have more of a following too that's how what a win Counts as well ask Kanye His enemies have more of a following too But yeah, you got a whittle you got a Little time Well, it's because Ethan Van Shiver I'm like talking to Ethan Van Shiver on Twitter Who's another comic guy. Yeah, okay

And he's like, so when are you gonna admit that ESOM is an unqualified success And everything I'm like, no, it's Still a piece of shit shit and then of course Eric Retweets me and he goes oh there's so There's so bad about my comic book And I'm like god damn it And then I get pulled into it

Again but does What does Ethan Van Shiver think Of the jewelry ad from his wife On Etsy Ethan Van Shiver is the ultimate What do you call it He knows comic Comic genius. He knows how to play the game. Some guys know how to play the game and they go,

Eric's comic is just an inspiring work of art that inspires independent creators everywhere. I'm like, yeah, I know, Ethan. Of course it is. Guy who's been working for DC Comics for 20 years thinks a first year outing. Yeah, there's a little and I know some of these guys. I'll even say some of these guys come to me and they go, look, obviously you're right. Just go

along with it, though. And I'm like, no, you should. I'm going to kick start a comic called Bitter Man. Yeah. And it's about one guy who looks a lot like you. Right. Quest to take down Eric July. I don't want to take him down. I just don't understand the... I hate all the hoopla.

I hate the hoopla. The, uh... We're gonna destroy Marvel and DC! We're gonna destroy... I'm like, guys, it's a comic. It's not... But don't you think that's... Well, you know, that's what they're buying.

I know they're buying into the idea that by buying, it's like, again, it's like get a Daily Wire subscription and watch Gina Carano's movie. It's the only way to stick it to those woke-tard liberals. If you really want to stick it to the woke-tards, you should subscribe to patreon.com slash biggest problem. We're the ones sticking it to the woke-tards, guys. We always have been that way. The only way to win the war is to join the Patreon.

We don't have crucifixes on our wieners either. And if we did, they would have jesus christ the savior and redeemer on them i mean i would argue that doing raw comedy in this space you know that's a little edgy and out there and we push the bar is genuinely more valuable to the culture war than making a stupid superhero comic about your self-insert character walking around the city and fighting generic bad guys. I think this pushes the cultural needle more. If you guys want us to put an Etsy ad, if you want us to get married. In the middle of this.

To a woman that makes jewelry on Etsy and then put an Etsy ad in the middle of the show, we'll do it. Okay? We don't care. If that's what it takes to take down Disney and Marvel, that's what we'll do. We'll do it. If that's what it takes, if Kanye says that's what it takes, or excuse me, if Ye says that's what it takes, here I am

calling him cashes. I know. I've been accused of deadnaming Kanye many times over the post. It's not a, when you're referring to black people, it is not called dead naming. Why not? It's clearly dead naming. They would not appreciate. They don't like that term?

I'm picturing us in like a black pool hall and you going like, oh, sorry, I just used your TED name. I didn't call it their lynching name or something. Slave name. It's a slave name. You're saying like they're trans. You're comparing their black experience of slavery with the trans experience, which has not been litigated. Which has not been litigated. Are there some, according to the trans community, there are many comparisons to be drawn between the historical struggle of the African American man and the transgender community.

What the fuck? Something must be going on today. All right. I think it'll refresh itself at some point. You ready to go? Yes. Let's do it. Oh, yeah. Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween. Oh, big guest. do it oh yeah

happy halloween biggest problem in the universe welcome to the biggest problem in the universe the only show that ranks

every problem in the universe from dumb songs on the silver screen to a non crackcrack-laced Halloween. Hey! That was from My Room Records. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Joining me as always is Vito G's Waldeen.

Hi, Dick. Excited to be here. How you doing? Feeling good. I honestly love your weekly Eric July updates. Who's winning? Who's involved in this vortex of grifting? It's the Gvito's

Grifto Vortex bringing you in from Isom versus the Griftor who sends out tentacles of griftery that pull everything in and question its credibility as art. I'm excited to see. I mean, he's getting a new warehouse

he said. He's expanding out. He's excited to see. I mean, he's getting a new warehouse, he said. He's expanding out. He's going to have multiple comics in different genres. Like a country western comic? Is he going to have a western comic or a spooky zombie comic? I don't know. I'm sure if Eric July you came into the wrong, this town

Christ town, we call it. You came in, Mr. Satan, you came into the wrong town all right clearly when you have a belt buckle with a cross Jesus stuff and I'm sure when you have one success the immediate thing to do is to branch out in 50 different directions and expand as fast and as aggressively as possible on the success of one product. Uh, maybe I'll be eating my toys. Yeah. Where's the movie? Where's the video game? That's what it was. Star Wars. I mean, uh, because guys like get a fact into their head and then they have

to, um, compulsively blurt out that fact the rest of their lives. So I've heard that merchandise was how Star Wars made all that money about a billion times. So I know it. Well, did you know that George Lucas famously offered up his director's fee

in return for the complete merchandise rights? Can you believe it? Oh, God. How many more times am I going to do this? What a brilliant Jewish mastermind, Mr. George Lucas.

Who did he take those rights from? Some black executive producer. According to Kanye, that's all they do. Yeah, we got this kid, George Lucas. He's got a vision of a space, like a space camelot. Space cam-y lot, he says, right? He says it's directed for free. He just wants to make stupid little dolls and shit. We gonna get them.

Yeah. What company is this? Universal? Yeah. Is that who they were? Fox put out the original. Oh. Right?

Didn't Fox put out Disney? I don't know. Or put out Star Wars. And Kenner, of course, made the toys. He duped them. He duped them. That's where they got them. Kanye has been watching this in action, and he's taking a stand.

Okay. Ready for last week? Yes. Child support. Big winner. Yeah. Big winner. I'm proud of you guys.

I have mixed thoughts on that problem. Why? Well, because I feel like the problem is maybe sometimes child support is too aggressive. Your argument was that we should just leave the children to fend for themselves like wolves. The mom will not take that. Abandon the kid? That's called a bluff, right? Yeah.

You think all the moms are bluffing like I need the money when they really don't? If you say, okay, throw the kid on the street, they'll go, I'll do it. They won't do it. Okay. They'll go. They okay, throw the kid on the street, they'll go, I'll do it. They won't do it. They'll go, they might put the kid out on the street for a little bit, but as soon as one gets taken by a pedophile, they're all coming back in. Won't the kid ever reduce quality of life without the money from the father?

We're worried about the father's reduced quality of life. That's true. The father will have reduced quality. You make an excellent point. Let's remember what team we're See as men But what if it's a male child And then they grow up

Hardship Hardship You get lots of pussy with that Yeah Oh character sure Character building exercise You go into a bar My dad left me

My mom put me out on the street I had to fend off pedophiles With my rattle Yeah All right I'm just saying Let's remember what team we're on street. I had to fend off pedophiles with my rattle. Yeah. All right. I'm just saying, let's remember what team we're on. Men. Well, I... Also children, I would hope.

I'm slightly on the team of children not being victimized and abused. By having too much money. By having too much... Not enough money. They're just eating shit. Yeah. Okay. Music videos disguised as movies. Great problem for me By having too much money By having too much Not enough money They're just eating shit Yeah Okay Music videos disguised as movies

Great problem for me And I'm glad that people recognized it And voted it up Do you ever feel like movies Those Marvel movies Are just like football For people who don't like sports In the way that they're like mindless

And they're They're basic They're like Scorekeeping And it's like a team Versus a team And it's like A team versus a team And it's like Obsessively going Like I had this feeling

During X-Men 3 When they got on The Golden Gate Bridge And like This side was fighting And this side was fighting And I'm like This feels like a

Like a Nerdy football game Can you imagine If like during the Marvel movie There's like a point total Where it's like Ant-Man punches a guy And it's like

Alright he's up by one. Yeah. Oh, now Kang the Conqueror is here. Oh, he's getting all the points. But I literally can imagine that. And it would be better. I could imagine a movie that was just like a weird, like fake sports movie. But the entire time it has one of those like those points banners on there.

Yeah, like Wacky Races. Do you know Wacky Races? But the entire time it has one of those Those points banners on there Yeah like wacky races Do you know wacky races We discussed this on the show It's like wildly popular in Japan Is it really? They love the wacky races The Hanny Barbera one? Yeah

Did they reboot it? No at some point it went over there Like you know how we take all the Japanese cartoons They would also take our cartoons It went both ways Tons of bitches And Japanese people fell in love with the fucking Wacky Races. There's multiple Japan-only Wacky Races video games.

Huh. For as recent as, like, the PS2. Well, I'll have to check that out. It's very fascinating. Not getting drugs on Halloween. That was your... Should have been higher. Did you get any drugs this Halloween?

Are you planning on... Not yet. I mean, I might get some, but they're not going to be secret fun drugs in my candy pail. I could slip you some secret drugs and whatever you need. Yeah, but now you told me about it. You won't know what it's in. Yeah, that's true. You won't know what it's in.

Might not even be today. It might be in June or something. And Dick jabs me in the arm with a needle and goes, trick or treat. There you go. A little heroin for you. That's just saline. And then the Band-Aid that I give you has fentanyl on it. It's actually a fentanyl patch.

And then I kneel on your back. I don't know why you had to go there, but you did. Okay. Online naturalists came in dead last. Fascinating. Clint James says, I like how Dick's flippant nihilism led to Vito thinking existentially about mass murder and saying, huh, probably the best day of the shooter's life. Yeah, you got a little wild there in the last episode. What's ever so wrong?

Is that not true? Do you think that does a mass shooter not look upon the shooting as the best day of their life? No, because they usually fuck up. Like they usually. Yeah, they probably ruminate on everything they fucked up. As they're getting killed but that Vegas shooter he must have been like I nailed it well I was the

number one yeah we'll never know he's like I did exactly what my CIA handlers told me and I executed it to the letter so he's just working he's like here we go yeah I wonder what he gets for that JayhawkDX says Vito channels his inner Elliot Roger this episode.

Overwarf says, In this episode, Vito outs himself as a potential shooter. Aren't we all a potential shooter? Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't say that. DickwagglesPI says, I don't have a problem with child support,

but I think that legally whoever files for divorce is the one that should have to pay it. Women initiate 80 to 90% of divorces. I think that number would fall precipitously if all those women were excluded from receiving child support by being the filing party. Yeah. So they would just have to make your life absolute hell to convince you to divorce them. Yeah.

That's what I immediately saw the same flaw in this argument. Next thing you know, like your wife's just breaking shit and shitting all over the house you're like all right i'll get the divorce you know what i don't think they could you don't think they could make your life enough of a living hell you don't think it'd be any different no because they don't like work they don't like working yeah they don't like thinking about shitting all over the house trying to get her to leave and that's great yeah and eventually you're like all right over the house trying to get her to leave. That's great. Yeah. And eventually you're like, all right, maybe we should stick together. Maybe I'll keep giving you handjobs.

I'll still hate you. Right. And I'll keep providing for your kid. I'll keep doing everything else in the world that is necessary. The Cole report, my family was so fucked up. My parents had to pay child support. My grandparents had custody. Yeah, both his parents had to pay child support to the grandparents had custody. Both his parents had to pay child support to the grandparents.

That's fucking nutso. That's hilarious. Those are your kids. Why are you getting money because you did such a bad job raising them. First of all, you should not get a third kid to raise. You already fucked up that one. You don't get a second

one. You're the last person yeah that is pretty wild i like that story uh no me man pants is why the hate for crowder i'll give you that he is not the most funny guy on the internet well then you can stop right there that's the end but i hate that guy well he's not the funniest guy Yeah In the world Not even close Really But his team does a good job With research and investigation Oh

Those are my favorite things That's my favorite kind of comedy Research comedy His undercover stuff is both funny And eye opening Genuinely curious If the hate is for him Being more popular than you guys

Oh No there's a lot of people More popular than us Yeah I don't hate Taylor Swift Because I've never I've never seen anything From Steven Crowder is for him being more popular than you guys. Oh, no, there's a lot of people more popular than us. Yeah. I don't hate Taylor Swift. I've never seen anything from Steven Crowder. Like, I've been linked to his shit, and I'm always like,

I don't know, I don't get it. I guess I just don't get it. I hate right-wing talking heads way more than left-wing talking heads because left-wing guys will get you, like, registered to vote. Right-wing guys just want you to get registered to super chat them you know like you know all right let's get the super chats going laughing eyes like we need to go to polls you need to get registered you need to like trip you need to actually participate in the political process yeah like a left-wing crowd goes buy a mug buy my mug yeah it's all about them yes today is a national election day so buy a mug and then hit

the polls okay they just make you get like upset for no reason all the time so you give money right it's not like about strategizing yeah it's almost like different it's almost like you know creating this fake enemy and then convincing you that buying a thing from them will somehow hurt that enemy it's like a shitty bullshit marketing strategy anyway. Can ISOM call in? Do you think ISOM would leave a voicemail? Please don't.

Please don't. I know I really need to drop this thing. They just keep dragging me back in. Can we animate an ISOM? Sorry, let me just fresh break. I had this idea that we do a parody character called I Saw Him. I Saw Him or something. Like this black guy who's like, I don't know.

Yeah, very well spoken. I didn't think it out. He's got a warehouse and a van. He's got a warehouse and a van. The two million dollar man. The most important thing to buy with your $2 million. Well, Dick, does that bring us to an exciting segment? Yeah.

An exciting segment I like to call Vote It Up. Come on, baby. Let's vote it up. Come on, baby. Let's load it up You gotta go and vote now Don't be a fucking cuck Straight from Chubby Checker himself.

Let's vote it up, folks. Well, of course, this is a segment where we revisit past problems you may remember from episode 51 a problem you brought in, Dick, called Kangaroo Courts. Well, of course, this is a segment where we revisit past problems you may remember from episode 51, a problem you brought in, Dick, called kangaroo courts. Alice Jones, kangaroo court. I have an exciting update to that story, which you may have already heard of. Sandy Hook families told a Connecticut judge that they should impose the highest possible punitive damages for Alex Jones, suggesting a calculation as high as $2.75 trillion.

Should be more. Why stop at the entire military's budget? Well, well. How many kids did the military kill? Not exactly. More than Alex Jones. A lot more than Alex Jones. What's interesting is how they reached this trillion dollar sum.

It's the $5,000 per violation fine. They say they claim Jones broke a state law barring the sale of products using false statements. So $5,000 times the 550 million social media exposures Jones audience received on his Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter. So it's just $5,000 times 550 million, Dick. That makes sense, right? Yeah. I mean, that's obvious.

$2.75 trillion. Everyone was duped with false information about people laughing when you wouldn't think they'd be laughing on TV and how liberal media or as Kanye would say, another type of media always is a weird slant. Doesn't it make sense That Alex Jones Should pay more Than the entire expenditure Of World War II

I think that just Clearly what he did Is worse than World War II Are you coming around On it I already said Look

The damages are clearly He's a hero Just like silly No It doesn't go They're gonna They're gonna be crucifying Those parents

Are gonna be nailing Iron nails Into Alex Jones' stigmata And pinning him to a cross And you're gonna be crucifying Those parents Are gonna be nailing Iron nails Into Alex Jones' stigmata And pinning him to a cross And you're gonna go Well you know He shouldn't have Made fun of those kids

Clearly the damages Are like a silly little game They're playing Hopefully the judge I don't I can't imagine the judge So is he So is Alex Jones

He's being silly It's not silly Alright I will give you however That, that the damages seem excessive. How's that? Okay. I'll take it. I'll take it.

That's your win. Well, in episode 15, all the way back in the day, you may remember a problem called chargers not included. Oh, yeah. That was fucked. When your device does not include the fucking charger. Well, a new law in the EU will require Apple and other electronic makers to adopt USB-C as a universal charging standard. So that will be a step forward.

The new law, which is targeted. Thank God we get to go buy all new cables. Just in time, guys. Don't you have some USB-Cs? Thanks a fucking lot. I have so many cables with different ends now. It's just like I just don't charge anything. Well, now it's going to be just USB-C, so it'll be like a little easier.

The new law will apply to smartphones, tablets, digital cameras, portable speakers, and a wide variety of other small devices, allowing consumers to use their existing chargers rather than have to purchase a lightning cord or a USB 2 or whatever the fuck. Yeah. You know what's crazy? Not a single news girl has been able to do what you do every week which is read a story well summarize the story read it at normal speed right i know i'm auditioning to be the dick show news girl at

this point uh news is important i think this is a good step forward for the consumer i still wished but i do think that we need to pass another law that says if you buy a device you get a charger With it automatically chargers though, or at least you get another cord Mmm. We just need like a free cord policy Just have a big bin of cords out front of Best Buy that I could grab What do you do with your USB cords? Do you have a USB cord bucket? Man, it's like a box at this point.

Every couple of years, the box gets an upgrade in size, and it's just like a timeline of cables from now back into 1985. I obsessively organize all my USB cables now, but now I'm reaching the point where I go, well, do I still need 40 USB 2.0s? But then if I throw some out, what if they break? Right away. It's cable.

We need more wireless charging. That's the future. I got one of those. My girlfriend complains about it. Apparently, my phone. She doesn't put it on right. Yeah, apparently, my phone supports wireless charging, so I should probably get one of those things. They're fun.

Yeah. I have a magnet one. Is it going to give me cancer, though? I mean, you hope, but we'll see. Hopefully the cancer beats the heart attack. Boogie thinks he has cancer, by the way. Oh, I'm sure. He has bit-stealing cancer.

He got cancer of the... After he stole that bit. Sarcasm gland. It forces him to steal bits. We did upload a clip to the YouTube channel of Boogie. Well, of a man who very resembles Boogie. Dick's expert parody of the man. I did not tag Boogie, though, in the tweet. I was like a little...

Don't tag him. I'm still like have a friendly like, hey, how's it going? Me too, though, in the tweet. I was like a little... I'll tag him. I'm still like have a friendly like, hey, how's it going? Me too. No, you don't. No, you don't have that relationship at all. Boogie and you are not... I mean, he'll still tweet with you, I guess. He sent you an apology or whatever on Fat Watch.

He sent me a shitty apology. It was like a go ahead and sue me then. Yeah. It was like him mouthing off me then Yeah It was like him being It was like him mouthing off Getting aggressive with me He's really I don't know why

Well when he's dead After he kills himself Then all the rights Revert to you I'll go to his funeral And do fat watch At the funeral There she blows

Oh please Nobody crash Boogie's funeral Let me take one of those teeth This is a Oh wait I have to be an I have to be an African like poacher If Boogie dies funeral. Let me take one of those teeth. This is a... Oh, wait. Now I have to be an African poacher. If Boogie dies, Frank Hassel's definitely going to try and show up and crash the fucking thing.

All the fucking... It's going to be a nightmare. All the eggs will descend on him. Oh, my God. You guys are horrible. What if Boogie pops out of his casket like John Woo? Yeah, and he takes them all out. Boogie should do a fake funeral.

That'd be like a good gimmick. Yeah. Everything else that he says online is fake, so he should just do like all of his depression and stuff. He should just do the funeral of Boogie2988 and we all go and we roast him and whatever else. He would probably cum.

He's in his casket. Oh, that poor guy. Alright, Dick, you're the winner. Poor idiot. Oh, that poor guy. All right, Dick, you're the winner. Poor guy. Poor idiot. Come on, baby. Let's vote it up.

Come on, baby. Let's vote it up. You gotta go and vote now. Don't be a fucking cuck. And ducked Chubby Checker into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, everyone. Is he not? No, and he's really mad about it. He's like, the twist was number one in America for two years straight.

How am I not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame? I hate those Hall of Fames. I should just do that. Let me ask the other thing. What, like stupid Hall of Fames? What? Well, I grew up right next to Springfield, Massachusetts, just do that? The other thing is what rocket like stupid Hall of Fame is like what? Well, I grew up right next to Springfield, Massachusetts,

which has the Basketball Hall of Fame, which is like a huge fucking thing. And then next to it is the other sports Springfield invented the Volleyball Hall of Fame,

which is one sad room with like a couple trophies and like it's like the saddest fucking thing compared to the basketball. OK, my problem this week is holiday decorations. What? With like a couple trophies and like, it's like the saddest fucking thing compared to the basketball. Okay. My problem this week is holiday decorations.

What? I mean, all of them. What about Halloween decorations? Halloween decorations. What about Christmas decorations? See, right now, you're probably in your mind, kicking back, listening to a podcast and thinking to yourself, mind kicking back listening to a podcast and thinking to yourself god i don't want i hope that that bitch does not come home and say oh the weather's nice we should you know we should do this weekend we should switch up the halloween decorations for the thanksgiving decorations

or you're going in or you spilled some drink on yourself and you get up has this ever happened to you and you go into the into the kitchen at night and you get up. Has this ever happened to you? And you go into the kitchen at night and you grab a towel and instead of the usual towel that's been purchased for absorbency reasons and utility, you have a fucking

turkey gobbling and it says happy fall, y'all, and the turkey towel is gobbling back at you and it has zero absorbency Yeah, because it's some cheap Chinese printed shit where the fibers are like sticking together in the paint and you go well I'm just fucking smearing it around So you go into the bathroom and try to get a regular towel lo and behold they've been replaced with Christmas towels Yeah, now it's a rare Halloween toilet paper and you're trying to Wipe your ass With an orange pumpkin

So you get a red Christmas towel And you go back And start cleaning yourself up Oh it's leaked red dye on me Cause it's some Fucking Chinese novelty Piece of shit

It's a lot of Towel related Decoration problems What about the fun And the wonder Of like a big yard display You know Like the manger scene

Doesn't that Inspiring to you No And it also teaches you That your friends And family and loved ones, it teaches you which ones are retarded. Yeah. Because they'll go, oh, wow, look at that.

And you think, really? That gives you an oh, wow? Baby Jesus lights up and waves from his little manger crib, and he goes, I'm the son of God. They don't even make funny ones. Yeah, that's true. It would be way better Fuck Christmas

That's what I want Like Santa Santa Back Leaning back With a whacking Waving inflatable Tubular erection

No you can't You can't do that And Mrs. Claus going Whoa What the fuck Look at that dog What about all those Spooky Halloween decorations

I keep seeing the videos People go to the Spirit Halloween and they press a button and a guy goes, ah, you know? They scare my dog. Yeah, that's true. I hate them there. And my neighbors have them set up in their front yard, so now I can't drive on their front yard to park my truck, so I have to do like a seven point turn every day. It's all a big nightmare that sits in storage somewhere that's just dumping money.

Just once again, dumping money into China. Yeah. Because of who? I don't want to name who it is making you do this. The Jews. No. Close. Oh, and who?

I have some stats for you. Go ahead. What stats? 94% of people in America say they celebrate Christmas in some way 84% said that they decorate 84% of people It's so fucking retarded Yeah, I've never decorated since leaving my ancestral home

4 out of 5 say it's a cherished tradition On average, here you go, it's also very dangerous. On average, there are 160 decorating-related injuries every day during the holiday season. Well, my favorite stories are always, you know, the dead man's plug or whatever. You ever hear those? No. So

people will string up their Christmas lights, right? Okay. And one end is, you know, to plug into the wall, and the other end is like an extension or something But they'll string them up backwards And they'll have like the extension part Like down on the ground I've done that so then they go to the hardware store

And they go do you guys sell a male to male Adapter And they go no and they're like well why The hell not and they're like And then they'll like try to make their own not realizing That they're just making a kill switch that just is pure electricity coming out of the... Yeah, anyway.

They deserve it. They should sell that. But they have big warnings. Like when you go to the store during Christmas season, there will be a thing and it'll be like, we don't sell a mail-to-mail plug. You could get one from China if you want to die because they have no safety standards.

Speaking of China, which you were, 506,000 metric tons, I don't know why they didn't make that away. I could understand it, of Christmas decorations that are exported every year

by China. And they don't even believe in Jesus. No. That's a good point. They're really taking advantage of our superstitions. People, the average person in the U.S. spends $269 on decorations every year, which they could be spending on our show or our live show,

which we're doing soon, which we forgot to mention. Oh, our live show. Well, we can mention it at the end. We are teaming up with Josh Denny and his friend Carl. I think they do the sports show yeah we're doing a live show in Long Beach can be very small Yes bring your own beer because We wanted to make we wanted to make it

Cheap for you so you don't Spend a big bar tab but we're gonna do a show Down there with Josh Denny November 19th we're going to do a live podcast Recording and there may be stand Up before the show I know Josh would do some stand up You're gonna do stand up I think I'm're going to do a live podcast recording and there may be standup before the show. I know Josh would do some standup. You're going to do standup.

I think I'm going to have to do standup. Oh God. Oh God. Are you going to write me new material? I mean, I have some material. I'm not going to write all new material. No,

you're not. I have, I have some jokes that work, but I guess I kind of weren't worried about ones I've already told on this show. Uh, 500. Oh wait, when asked how they feel about the money. We'll have more details about that. Go to the website if you want to. Live.dick. Sorry, live.biggestproblem.

live.biggestproblem.show and that'll be, we'll have like a mailing list or something. Yeah, we'll put the tickets up there. Many wish that they said they could pay more for decorations. Can you believe that? What a sick. They're saying they don't have nearly enough money to, well, where I come from, like Massachusetts, Connecticut area,

it was a big fucking dick wanking battle to take these old colonial houses and fill your yard with as much Santa bullshit as you possibly could. And you got to go drive around. Oh, these decorations aren't good enough. Let's go to the rich neighborhood and look at their decorations No we literally would do that

Instead of playing Mario vs Rabbids 2 I would love to go look at a bunch of fucking decorations That rich people paid poor people to put in their yard They actually have this attraction There's a park I think it's Look Park And you would pay to just drive slowly through the park And they've set up all these Christmas light decoration things, and they're all sponsored by different businesses.

And I'm really mad that I lost this, because there's a little pamphlet to who set up which light display, and it's like, the Kwanzaa display, as sponsored by Kentucky Fried Chicken. And I'm like, fuck! How did I lose that pamphlet?

That was the funniest thing I owned. KFC wants to wish you a very merry Kwanzaa. I was like, oh, God. I fucking hate it. It's too ominous. And I need to keep saying it every year so it doesn't start becoming a thing in my house. Well, my neighbors, we live on like, you know, you can't even see our houses from the street. So I don't know why they go fucking hog bonkers With all this Halloween shit

And I let my cats go outside And they set up some like inflatable like witch And I'm like oh that thing's gonna get clawed to shreds Sorry Nothing I can do about it Probably a dog did it What a problem dick And then sometimes I think what if I go

While my girlfriend's at work and just buy like 10 of those inflatable things at Home Depot And put them on the roof Like a huge asshole I think it's for people Who have nothing else going on You know what Like that's That's a problem in itself

Like me and you We got like you know Businesses We got Twitter fights We got Twitter fights We got Discord fights That's going on

I'm doing the podcast I got a YouTube channel I got the comic book I got all sorts of stuff I don't have time I don't have like leisure time It's guys who work like a nine to five and they come home and they're like eh plebeians all hang up lights real schmucks you're saying they don't have they don't have another way to express their creativity we have our own creative outlet stick okay well now

i feel better about it yeah there you go your. Your Christmas decorations are doing a stupid live show in Long Beach sometime in November. I think it was the 19th. I hope it's the 19th. Actually, I hope it's not because I had to cancel a bunch of shit. I fucked up. We're going to figure it out. That'll be fun, though, a live show. Speaking of shows, I don't know if you saw the news recently, while DC or Warner Brothers has famously been searching for someone to head up their DC Comics film division.

Okay. And they finally found their man, and that man is James Gunn. You like James Gunn, the director of Guardians of the Galaxy, The Suicide Squad? Oh, yeah. Those were good. Yeah, he's a good guy. Okay. But there's some guys who think he's a bad

guy. And that's why my problem is the so-called pedo-jacketing. Now, I don't know if you've heard of this term, and it's not a term that should exist in a society that is good and right, but we live in a hellscape. What's jacketing?

It's the idea of covering someone in something. Oh. Pedo jacketing is a slang term referring to spurious or otherwise not entirely honest accusations of pedophilia. Oh. So it's like, you're not a pedophile, but I'm going to make you wear a jacket that says pedophile on it so everyone treats you like it.

Oh, I see. Because you hate this guy. You hate this guy. And you want everyone to think he's a pedophile So I like what everyone does to you Well Actually they say you're a pedophile They're pedo jacketing me Well I think they're pedo jacketing both of us I would hope that they don't actually think I'm a pedophile

No they're saying that you are They don't actually think you are Right but they're saying like James Gunn is a pedophile as well. Oh, they are? Yeah, some of them are. Based on what? Well, that's what's crazy is that they bring up what these people do. I wish there was a worse thing.

Than being a pedophile that they confuse you of? Yeah. Well, we took away Nazi. I'm so tired of talking about it and thinking being a Nazi is not worse than being a Nazi. No, but he used to be, clearly. No, but that left wing has Nazi. Yeah, but they don't even use it good anymore. It's like pointless.

So it used to be you'd call someone racist or like a Nazi or whatever else. So Kanye swooped right in. They're going to have to think of something worse than a pedophile pretty soon if we keep calling everybody a pedophile. Because it's going to be like, yeah, I know he's a pedophile. Everybody's a pedophile. I get it. Like even that word. I'm at that point.

Yeah, it's kind of lost it for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to, when you accuse somebody of being a pedophile, I'd go, oh, my God, well, what happened? And now I'm like, I'd go kill him. You'd call everybody. Right away. Yeah, I want them to die, obviously.

Well, James Gunn, let's be clear, this was a guy who was working for Troma back in the day. You know, Troma films like Toxic Crusader and Tromeo and Juliet. So he's like a weird, goofy filmmaker with a sick sense of humor. So some of the things he did was he had like a theme party where everybody dressed up as either like a pedophile priest or like a little girl.

Wait, wait, wait, Vito. Did he rape any kids? No. Okay, then. Do you know? Well, that's the thing! They go, well, he knew a guy. It's not like, well, you got close there, buddy! They'll go like well he knew a guy it's not like oh you got well you got close there buddy they'll go like he knew a guy and that guy was later accused of child porn i'm like well how

well did he know him it's like oh not really that well at all they saw my conventions uh he had made a bunch of jokes on twitter about pedophilia that he later deleted they really don't like that and then people obviously took the jokes out of context. One of the jokes was he's like, hey, check out this video where 100 pubescent girls touch themselves. So people share that. I don't get that joke. That screenshot around. Was that a response to something? Hold on.

If you clicked the link, it was a woman's choir singing the song I Touch Myself. Okay. I mean, that's a stretch. But I'm saying- It's just a really bad joke. Yeah, it was a stupid joke, but they take the tweet and they go, see, he was linking to child pornography. Was that like 2014 Twitter? Yes.

Yeah, okay. All these tweets are from like 2013, 2014. They say, you know, at one point he deleted all his tweets, you know, so he deleted like 10,000 tweets. And people go, see, he deleted 10,000 pedophile jokes. And you go, no, he deleted all his tweets, you know, so he deleted like 10,000 tweets, and people go, see, he deleted 10,000 pedophile jokes. And you go, no, he deleted all his tweets. That's what it takes to get one over on you guys! Oh my, you're so, you're so fucking

keyed in! It's like, guys who are like, like, the guys who do this, it's like listening to women that think they have magical powers. Like, women are like, oh, you know, I'm super, like, I'm super intuitive, and I know it's a bad guy. Like, oh, do you really? Do you really, sweetheart? Like, no, you know, I'm super, like, I'm super intuitive, and I know it's a bad guy. Like, oh, do you really? Do you really, sweetheart? Like, no, you know, I pretty much know that that guy, like, you know,

maybe he's not caught yet or out yet, but I pretty much know he did. Like, do you really, honey? Do you have any fucking electrical magical powers, too? Do you ever have visions that you just didn't get a good fucking feeling about somebody? Fucking stop! You're not special. You're not special, except that you're not

you are not contributing anything good to the world let alone the most good. But what if they can sense where that missing child is currently held captive?

Go for it, Columbo. Some of them have magic secret and whatever powers. One more question, Vito. One more question for you. When you said it you were just joking.

Did you really mean the joke? Well, I am upset when I see James Gunn get accused of being a pedophile based on having a shitty sense of humor. And not even a shitty sense of humor. Like a typical 2010 sense of humor. Everybody was being edgy and edgelord and whatever the fuck else. And if that's enough To be like Oh that guy's Definitely fucks kids

I'm like come on I feel bad for James Gunn though Fuck James Gunn Well He's got tons of money It's just It's just the criticisms Are stupid

You feel bad for you Because it's happening To you Because I'm the next James Gunn Yeah Okay Well no in a way It's good it's happening

You know Because I'm going to have A similar success trajectory Obviously With's good. It's happening, you know, because I'm going to have a similar success trajectory, obviously. Well, no, it's super killer. It's going to be a fucking wild success. And no, it's I just think it's it's a sad thing in society that people people want to tear him down. First of all, there's a couple of different reasons reasons One of which is that he's not Zack Snyder So all the people who are like mad that Zack Snyder got fired

For making all these superhero movies They're really mad that anyone else is making superhero movies Other than Zack Snyder And so they're like Oh James Gunn's gonna fuck up DC And fuck up Superman And that means he's probably a pedophile And I'm like

I know it's not You're actually just mad That he's not James And you're looking for Another thing you can level at him Right And they've done this to other And also I think As James Gunn

I would consider He's kind of a comedy writer Like his movies are clearly Funny and jokey Right And this is the thing With comedy That I always like

Want to explain to people I go Well do you like You know Guardians of the Galaxy Did you like the Suicide Squad? Did you think they were funny? And it's like, yeah. And it's like, okay, they're funny

because he spent time like examining the boundaries of humor and like pushing the envelope a little bit. Yeah, there's like rape jokes in them. Yes, yes. Yeah. And you as comedians have to occasionally go over the line to find where the lines are and explore those boundaries and a comedian going over the line it should never be like

you need to apologize for something you said 10 years ago it's like if you like what he's putting out now it's specifically because he was pushing the line 10 years ago and found the boundaries that was part of his growth process and that's what people don't understand when they go to comedians and ask them to apologize for their old jokes and shit

it's like no they have nothing to apologize for. That was part of becoming a great comedian was saying shit that was over the line. Like, how can you know where the line is if you never test it? And people, like, don't understand that. Yeah, but why come... So all the videos of me saying the N-word like a million times were important as part of my comedy journey. And if people would stop bringing it up. Anyway.

Well, why come you call Nick Fuentes a Nazi? Do you? Do you think Nick Fuentes is a white supremacist? I mean, he kind of. Yeah, he is. He's not. Well, he's a white nationalist. Okay, okay.

Right? By his very own words, he's a white nationalist. He has said that. Yeah, okay. And why would you not be a white nationalist unless you thought that it was better than an alternative? Of what? I'm saying... Black nationalism?

He says that it's supremely better. Not by, like, the strict definition. Okay. Like, not... No is the answer. No, sure. Okay, all right. By the leftist

Weirdo definition Where Yeah It's not strictly Yeah exactly Okay pedo jacketing though But if you wanted to strictly Define

He is a white nationalist Which I think is bad Well You're Italian Of course you would think that I mean Yeah I know I want Italian supremacy

I want an Italian nation We've contributed so much. You fucking wasps haven't done anything interesting. Yeah, I agree with you there. If anything, I want a Jewish supremacy because the Jews are doing all the work in this country. Well, you're in luck, buddy. I know. They're making all the best movies, all the best music.

Didn't I say, wasn't I drunk at one of our shows and said, well, if it wasn't for Jews, it would just be like fucking Muslims and Christians fighting over who's running their church at what time. Like, we get 10 a.m. No, we get 10 a.m. That's when the worship come out. And then doing football. Right.

And beating women. The Jews have added a healthy middle ground of like, hey, what do you have? Better ground. Well. Better ground. I like the Jews. I think they're good people. And I don't think the Jews would accuse everyone of being a pedophile the way certain other groups.

I don't know what's going on. No, you're right, I think. I think you're right on that. Pedo-jacketing is a problem. I did not bring it in specifically to defend myself, but I have experienced the same sort of bullshit where I'm being asked to apologize for jokes I've made in years past. I'm not going to do it. The joke shit really fucks with me.

It's so weird that they're like, yeah, basically a joke is the same thing as harming a child. That's why it annoys me because even with normal people, if they're saying they're joking, I kind of think, well, you're probably just, you might have fucked up and said something you think a little bit, but I still don't care because it's just something you said. And it's enough that you're saying it. But you're

a professional comedian, so I think it's like, well, yeah, say whatever you want. It doesn't matter It doesn't matter Like you I'm also like a shit poster Like everybody is Shit posting all the time

But like It's weird Though I've encountered These rules That like Well you can't shit post About that I'm like you guys

Just say the N-word All the fucking time Kill yourselves Kill yourselves I don't get the rules And I'm tired of Trying to figure them out Because you're a liberal

I mean it is that Yes I'm a liberal So they obviously hate me. And so the easiest thing to do is to find some baseless accusations to convince normal people that something, I don't, whatever. It's too complicated. I mean, that's the purpose of the joke. Like, when I wrote Men Are Better Than Women, I wasn't, like, shocked that people thought I hated women. I was like, ha, ha, ha, ha.

This is what the point was. Yeah. And now you're making pedophile jokes and people are flipping out. Like, that's the fucking point. Yeah, but I don't make them anymore because I just,

I didn't realize. You will as soon as you know you can upset people, you'll make them. I know you. I didn't realize that people would get this upset about it.

I really didn't. I didn't know people would get that upset about men and women. Yeah. People would get the joke either way leave poor James Gunn alone

he didn't he never touched no kids they're getting Jerry Lee Lewis too with the same kind of false accusations talking about a 14 year old cousin

that he married is that a what do you call it Ben Stiller's killer no the piano player Jerry Lee Lewis

he's guilty um okay they're trying to get Elvis with that stuff oh yeah Killer now the piano player Jerry Lee Lewis. He's guilty Okay, trying to get Elvis with that stuff Yeah, exactly. Well, that's the other problem is that there are actual pedophiles that have had like story Teenagers I mean, yeah, that's true. That's true. It is a little different Okay, you ready for my problem? I guess. I don't even know.

Yeah. Hit me. This one's going to perk you up. It's better than all the shit you were talking about. Good. It's even better than my first problem. Probably, probably the biggest problem in the universe, actually. Wow.

If you think about, if you think about it in terms of, like, people always throw out heat death of the universe as a problem, but it's not. It's never gonna happen. I mean, I'm gonna be dead. It's never gonna happen. I mean, you will be dead. So who's gonna be around? That's a big problem. Fucking nobody. What the fuck was that? Nobody. Right?

Heat death of the universe is taking place right now. If there's nobody around, nothing can be a, quote, problem. If the universe dies in the dark, it doesn't really count. Right. No, it doesn't. So, and is there even a death? Bloop, just blips out. It's happening all the time.

Doesn't matter. But this problem. And you just go to the programmer realm. Right. Yeah, you just go to the matrix. This problem hits you hard when it hits you. And it always hits you when you're in a rush it's you hard and the amount of time that it takes you to fix this problem is a complete unknown okay could be like if you if you

get piss driblets in your pants right you have to either dry it out or change pants Okay You know exactly how long it's going to take It's a binary, sure If you cheat on your wife Well, I guess I know how long this is going to take to fix, right? A couple of years It's a little more complicated than that You get cancer, somebody's like, well, it's going to be this, this, this problem You're on your own

It's finding the cut edge of the packing tape Well, it's the worst You're on your own. It's finding the cut edge of the packing tape. Well source Sitting there Turning it. Yeah You're like, where's that edge? I'm in a rush. I got to send this shit out I'm a little the post office in time Office where there's a line and I know every time I go and there's a line that forms immediate laughter now I'm gonna be in that line so

Why don't you take the fingernail dick and yeah, I do but then there's There's bumps. Yeah on the surface and I'm like is that Is that a bump or a packing tape? Why did I buy the cheap packing tape again? Instead of the see that's the problem you have to get the thick packing tape But I'm not spending $12 on packing tape that should be free. If I'm paying $20 to ship the package, I know that the post office has that post office tape, but somehow you cannot even find a single pen when you're at the post office. No, the post office won't give you free tape anymore.

Even the UPS store. If I take stuff in there and I didn't tape it, I'm like, oh, I forgot. Can you tape this? And they say, oh, usually we charge for tape. Don't tell me. Just threaten me outwardly. Say, next time you come in, we're gonna hammer you with a fucking roll of tape or charge me.

Don't give me a, well, we usually charge for tape. I'm like, well, just do it or don't. I don't need a whole story about how usually, like, oh, thank you. You have a room and I can sleep in the stable? I can take my package out to the stable and tape it? Oh, God. I recently was taping some packages, and you're right. It's that cheap packing tape That you'll find

You'll find the corner But then you start to pull up the corner But the rest of the tape doesn't go with it So then you're like grabbing little threads Of that tape And you're trying to congeal it into one Like tape like mask And then the worst part

Am I going the wrong way? So it just pops off Like fuck And then it has like those little teeth If you have the holder To like stick it on So that like it's! And then it has, like, those little teeth if you have the holder to, like, stick it on so that, like, it's still ready to go for the next time. Yeah. But then I'll, like, put it down and then the tape will fall off that thing.

Fall right off! And go back onto the roll. Over the hump. No! No! I had it and it was ready to go, but no! You were supposed to bring balance to the packing tape, not tear it apart! I really am ready to throw

out that packing tape because it's just so infuriating. I took a pair of scissors, which I almost never do, but I couldn't find it in ten seconds. Oh, you went... You made a line. I sliced it, fucking went across, tore it. Then I found the end. Yeah. Started peeling it. I hit the fucking line that I made.

Hit the line. I went through like five rolls before I finally got to the bottom of the line that I made hit the line. I went through like five rolls before I finally got to the bottom of the score that I Finding the edge of the packing tape Bar none. What about that packing tape that you sometimes get that? It's like it's like brown paper tape. Is that better? How do I get some no, I? Don't know but I feel like when the post office wanted all of our money to do their fake voting scheme

that they pulled off for Biden, they could have come around and give us some of that precious tape. They give us free boxes. You get the free boxes from the post office. No, because then I have to go down to the post office and get them and come back and put all my shit in the free boxes. They have a guy coming to my house every day.

They'll deliver the boxes to you. They will? Yeah, the USPS. If you put in an order, they'll bring you free boxes. What's the limit? I don't know. Well, shit. And you can schedule them to pick it up so you don't have to go to the post office.

They'll come pick up packages. Well, that guy comes every day. What do you mean? Well, normally if you're mailing like 20 things. Really? Yeah. I just give it to him. Oh, he just takes it?

I thought you had to like tell him ahead of time, like, hey, come by. No, I set up a, I set up one of those 3DI things. Yeah. In the yard. And when he's distracted, I get in his car and dump him. That's not how you're supposed to do that at all. Yeah. Packaging tape is a true problem. Oh, wait, I get in his car and dump him. That's not how you're supposed to do that at all. Yeah, packaging tape is a true problem. Oh, wait, I have stats.

Wow. According to stats, the packaging tape market will expand from $28 billion in 2020. Did you know that they had stats on packaging tape? No, I don't even know how this is a thing that you found. I don't know how it's a billion-dollar industry. $22 billion in 2022. That's an industry. Right?

Wow. That's half of... The cardboard box manufacturers must be raking it in right now. To $35 billion in 2032. in 2032. So the shipping, the packing tape industry predicts their packing tape needs

eight years in advance. Wow, how do they figure that out? How about that? They manufactured all in one big batch? Previously, the market developed at a modest pace of 2% per year.

Okay. You know, one thing people said about ISOM was that the custom RIPAverse packaging tape was really impressive. Because it's true. It is. He probably had no problems finding the end of that tape.

Anyway. Because it's got a whole thing. That's my problem. Packaging tape Finding the end of I mean it is a horrible problem I mean I'm saying It is a problem I deal with And the problem is horrible to me

Yeah Thank you Yeah Okay I think I'm running low On good packaging tape Well you can have some of mine It's been chopped up

My problem is buying So much tape Because I never know If I have tape Oh yeah So I just have So many rolls of tape and then I had a car tape but then it got all melted and fucked up car

tape well because I would not I would fuck up and not tape stuff yeah and get to the post you would leave it in there ready to go and then it what it melted or something yeah all right dick I got a nerd problem for you Okay How do I lead into this Yeah I love Magic Cards Dick I love it It's one of the great games of all time I think people who It's not NP complete

Do you know that What is Oh that like a A computer can't solve it A computer cannot solve it Yeah Yeah Well it's endlessly expandable

It's a beautiful game Beautiful game design Yeah And it is one of these games That I think will endure like chess I think think will be around for a thousand years okay and they're ruining it they're destroying it and they're taking a beautiful thing and this is across multiple things not just magic gathering but okay i was all excited i was ordering the new magic set and the new magic set is actually it's a historical Event in the magic timeline

The brothers war When Urza and Mishra Each discovered Two halves of a Thran power stone The might stone And the weak stone And they each took one

And they fought for Control of the two stones Okay And I'm like This is great And all the cards Represent Yeah

All these cards Represent a historical event in this war in the brother's war and then I was like Lord of the Rings and stuff yeah yeah

like Lord of the Rings I remember no black people just all two white guys back when Lord of the Rings was good

so I'm all excited that black dwarf is good yeah right the black dwarf's good the black elf is not great but the black dwarf is good Yeah right The black dwarf's good The black elf is not great But the black dwarf Is very good in that show

Anyway I'm all excited For this new set With like a historical You know Yeah Revisiting all this Wonderful magic timeline

Let's live this fake history Yeah and they go Also the packs will have Transformers cards in them What? And I'm like Wait what? And they're like You could get an Optimus Prime Or a in them. And I'm like, wait, what? You could get an Optimus Prime or a Bumblebee.

And I'm like, sucking fucking shit. I'm like, why? And my problem is endless crossovers. I don't want Bumblebee. I want Bumblebee as a kid, not now, not as an adult. I want

franchises To just be Themselves, I don't need this Endless crossover bullshit In the set? Yes, it's in the Brothers War set, you will open Pax Cars and get an Optimus Prime Which has nothing to do with Magic the Gathering Has nothing to do with the Brothers War

Or the history or the lore of the game It's just because magic the gathering is owned by hasbro which also owns the transformers franchise that's the only reason they're putting transformers you fucking pull an optimus prime with like a black lotus yes it's such bullshit in the set like there's been like my little pony like promo cards and there's all kinds of promo cards the other thing is they used to make the crossover cards they used to be like silver bordered so you couldn't play them in tournaments but now

they've been making like they have fortnight cards street fighter cards they're doing an entire doctor who set come on right now in legacy which is like the vintage tournaments where you can use cards from across all of magic's like history one of the most powerful cards is rick grimes from the walking dead In Legacy, which is like the vintage tournaments where you can use cards from across all of Magic's history, one of the most powerful cards is Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead.

So you're playing in this vintage tournament with all this legacy and lore, and it's like, and then Rick Grimes comes in and shoots all the zombies. Is it a real picture of him? It's like an artistic interpretation of the character. Does it look like the actor? I think so. Oh, God. I call this the Funko Popification Of all media

The idea that these companies Are now just going to White people did this Well yeah obviously Have you ever turned on Disney Plus And it's always like there's a new Simpsons special It'll be like the Simpsons goes to Star Wars I Simpsons

I don't have Disney Plus well I don't Know they're always crossing over with everything A big one recently was That Space Jam 2 movie Where instead of just having yeah Well okay it's already a crossover Between you know a sports Hero and the Warner Brothers or the

The Looney Tunes yeah You just stop right there. But instead they're like what if fucking Harry Potter was in it? What if Yogi Bear was there? And then like. And it's a video game. And it's a video game which doesn't even make any sense. And then in the background there's like characters that should not be in a kids movie.

I always bring this up that the gang from the Clockwork Orange is in the background of Space Jam. The rape gang? Yeah the rape gang from Clockwork Orange is in the background of Space Jam. The rape gang? The gang, yeah, the rape gang from Clockwork Orange is watching LeBron James dunk on Bugs Bunny and going, yeah! What does the wife think about that, that they raped? It's sick.

They also have a new video game called MultiVerses, which is another Warner Brothers thing. Oh, yeah, it's like Bugs Bunny versus Batman and shit Fighting Batman fighting the Arya from Game of Thrones Just literally anything they own And that I'm pissed about because They have Hanna-Barbera characters you know

They have like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo And I'm like how cool would it be if they did Like a Hanna-Barbera fighting game but it was Just Hanna-Barbera characters Not cool at all it would be awesome I would play the shit out of that. It would be better than this fucking shit I don't wanna Why is Batman fighting Shaggy? Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna push back on you hard. Okay. All right, and my argument is is

Threefold okay number one Threefold Okay Number one Flintstones meet the Jetsons I'll be goddamned If I sit here And let you say That that was not

One of the greatest moments Of our lives And of And of American culture Yeah Cartoon culture Well here's Here's the counter argument

I'm gonna make Is that yes Occasionally a crossover Can be Make so much sense And be Be something that has been built up across time that it makes sense alien verse predator even though the movie is not that good was one that

it will fans have debated for a long yeah but fans have debated for a long time it was a good idea in theory but robocop versus the terminator which was explored not as a movie but it was explored in comic books And video games So what you're saying It's the execution Because the Jetsons Versus Flintstones Was perfectly executed

On all fronts Well yeah Because that makes sense It was like Godfather 2 Because it was Two movies in one Two movies in one I made my parents

Rent that twice From Smitty's Grocery store Yes And then bought Buy it for Christmas. It was so good. That is a crossover

that makes sense. But what if I posited to you the 2013 movie The Flintstones Go to WrestleMania. Does that make sense? No, but

See, that's the problem. It's all worth it. What you want to do you want to throw the baby without with the bathwater. Yeah. I hate that Optimus Prime

is in my Magic the Othering set. It's bullshit. You know what? Okay, wait. I want to talk to you about this. I'm genuinely mad, and I kind of want to cancel my order of the new set. I saw these cards, and I thought that they were a promo set. I saw it on Reddit.

I didn't know it was part of the set. Let me see. Transformers. I'm so mad. And if I get any Transformers cards I'm going to sell them immediately If not just throw them out Transformers arrives

With the Brothers War Optimus Prime's a cartoon And Megatron's like a CG No those are both Optimus Prime Oh He's a hero Okay okay okay, okay. This is what made me so upset. This is what made me so upset

when I saw it. At first I thought it was a fan edit, and then I thought it was a promo card. Okay. You've got Optimus Prime, the magic card. His power and toughness is 4-8. Okay? You've got... 4 power. 4 power, 8 defense. Okay.

Megatron is seven power Five defense In The cartoon And on the toys Mm-hmm Megatron's Power

And toughness Was nine out of ten And Optimus Prime's Was ten out of ten So Megatron should be Have less power We could

See they've gone with like a Than optimist. They've gone with a Western Christian approach to this which is because he's the hero he's weaker and he can take more damage but the Japanese mythology of the Transformers was that he was the hero and Was more powerful that yeah take on Megatron no problem anyway Megatron turns to a tiny little gun, too The Starscream could shoot. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it displaces, but... Yeah, scroll down real quick. I just have to remember. Oh, shit, shit. Whatever. It's not that important. Transformers.

Magic the Gathering. It's just... They snuck it up on us, too. Did you ever see the Godzilla cards? Are you kidding me, dude? These are all in this thing? Yes! RC? RC, I'll take it. Click the little button under it. You can see what's on the other side.

They all transform into the vehicle version. Nah, I'm going to throw up. Yeah, it's so funny. They tricked us with these Godzilla cards. Everyone said, oh, it's fine. They can make Godzilla magic cards. That won't become like a thing. Dude, this game is very quickly becoming this like ultimate IP crossover bullshit.

And it's sad. But Jetsons versus Flintstones. One of the best. Okay, what about Cartoon All-Stars to the rescue? Did you like that? No, but. Because that told you not to do drugs. I like it.

Tell me it's not good. I don't like any other women. I had to watch Alvin and the Chumucks tell me that weed wasn't cool. And that was bullshit. Number two, Mugen. The fighting game where everybody fights anybody. Not good. Terrible. It's great. What do you mean?

Peter Griffin does the fart moves and stuff. It has to make sense. Like, Smash Brothers makes sense. People from across all video games, okay. It's like the one place to do that. Yeah, okay. Okay? Okay. It's good. It's good. Putting a bunch of rapists in Space Jam doesn't make sense.

It's not necessary. It's an odd move. I was also mad at, like, did you ever see the Lego Batman movie? I didn't like that one. Yeah, well, at the end, it's like, okay, he's going to fight a bunch of villains. I'm like, oh, well, there's so many great Batman villains. I'm sure there'll be the Joker, Mr. Freeze, whatever else. They're like, he's going to fight King Kong, the gremlins from Gremlins, the bad guys from

the Matrix, The agents. And I was like, I get it, Warner Brothers. You own all this stuff. This is not necessary. He's going to fight Sauron from Lord of the Rings because we own that as well. I think this is what all media is going to become. If we have an original IP, it will quickly be devoured by other IPs storming in. When's the last time of intellectual property law.

That was my whole thing. I don't know. I don't know if that's going to solve it. That'll just make more of it. That'll just encourage kids to be like, oh, I can put Batman in my video game now. And then every video game will have Batman. That's great. No, that's way worse.

That's not a solution at all. Then the people with money have to think of better stuff to tell a story about. They can't just use Batman and Batman's like just used To do shit like he's doing pizza commercials. I just shooting the Noid in the back of the head like He's a delivery guy shows up He's beats on the Noid grabs it and Batman just goes done and shoots him with a gun and the Noids head blows Gets blown in it really is just Warner Brothers doing this isn't it.

Have you ever seen like all the characters they put in the fucking Mortal Kombat games now. They're fun though. Leatherface Terminator. That's true. Cool.

Rambo's in there. I didn't know about that. Yeah Rambo doesn't work very well. He doesn't really fit in there. The other ones are cool.

Yeah. Terminators. Well. You know you're saying that your own imagination is a problem it's so fucked up what you're saying vote it down i know this problem down all i know is that there should not be fucking transformers cards in my magic the gathering it's so gross not in the set it's such a shameless cash grab and uh i despise it immensely Sorry for the big nerd problem, guys, but this is my cross the bear.

This is my problem. The worst thing in my life. Yeah, no, this is worse than being called a pedophile. If you had to be called a pedophile forever for the rest of your life. But there were no more Transformers cards in my Magic the Gathering. Yeah, would you do it?

I'd consider it. People would really think it's out. Magic is such a beautiful and pure thing. It is being destroyed by Hasbro. They're also trying to turn it, because they don't know what to do with it. They want it to be a toy. Like, they just announced,

they're like, we got this cool flame launcher, like Chandra Nalar, the planes are, I'm like, nobody wants to be your magic characters. That's the best thing about magic characters, is they're fucking uncool and stupid,

and they're just like Weird dumb demons And you know Dress up Or with the Dungeons and Dragons They're fucking that up as well How? I don't know

Everybody's gay And all the dragons are gay And Uh oh If you don't If And orcs are like You're a demon

But you don't have to be bad Yeah Stuff like that I go to play Magic the Gathering And they're like One of the planeswalkers is non-binary now and I'm like I don't care Yeah, and you can like Yeah, I could tell yeah, I could tell it's like a chick Well, what's that chick with huge tits like actually she's non-binary like okay cool. No, it's literally Shaved head in a goatee and I'm like, I am in

I think it's n I ko Non binary magic the gatherings. Let's see. Yeah, that's her. She's a She's a lady with half her head shaved in a big goatee. Okay, hold on. Let me pull it up so people at home can see it. I mean, this is a different problem, but I am just watching this game get taken over by a bunch of hippies. Oh, shit.

I don't know. Hit add source. There you go. Oh, you're not in it, but whatever. Yeah. Magic the Gathering introduces the set. Game's first non-binary planeswalker. Why does she have a goatee?

Like, that was so not necessary. There you are. Yeah. She's just Puerto Rican. Dude, is there another picture of her? She looks so bad. It's, like, not even. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is that guy supposed to be non-binary too? Well, that's what they should do. Make everybody non-binary? Check out this non-binary stud. What do you think about that? Yeah, exactly. Oh, okay, cool. I'll be like that guy. Why does it have to be a lady with half her head shaved and a goatee? Like, yeah, I know.

Who identifies with that character? Who is this? How do you become a communist? Also, that card sucked. And I opened, I think, two copies of it. And it's a piece of shit card. So if you're a guy and you look like this, and this is just the way you want to be gay. Yeah.

Now you got to deal with people coming up to you like, oh, are you like, they act like they found a pot of gold. Like, oh, are you have my lucky charms Are you a non-binary Like no I'm just like A gay guy No big deal All the identities Are very confusing

And they kicked That one lady out Therese Nielsen Remember we were talking About magic card art Back in the day They kicked out that one lady Who did all the best

Magic card art Because they said She was a TERF Therese Nielsen N-I-E-L Art back in the day they kicked out that one lady who did All the best magic art art because they said she was a turf Uh Therese Nielsen N-I-E-L-S-E-N They kicked her out because she's a turf Yeah they said she hates trans people

Even though she's done like all the best magic Artwork across the last 20 years And it wasn't even that she hates trans people It was that she donated to like some QAnon Podcast or something I mean I The idea that artists Can't be like

Like comedians Anything they say Yeah Is like automatically a joke Yeah you can pass The idea that artists Can't like be Purely driven by hate

Like actual legitimate hate Is equally as offensive to me Great art comes from hate, of course. It's like, like if you say that someone's an artist and they don't have like an intense hatred of every race or any race, I'd be like, well, their art must just be dog shit. It is really sad

that this lady's art is like legitimately probably some of the best art that was ever in the game, and now it just isn't. Okay, um. Fucking Magic the Gathering, goddammit, it's just been on my ever in the game and now it just isn't. Okay. Fucking Magic the Gathering. God damn it. It's just been on my mind.

The Transformers one. I didn't know that was I didn't know the backsides were How do you do the backsides if they're in sleeves? You just take it out of the sleeve and flip it around. So you mess it all up. Yeah.

They have a lot of flip side cards now. You don't have any flip cards? No. They're obsessed with flip cards. No, that's... The new set, you get two cards and you flip them both over

and they make two halves of one giant card. No. Yeah. That's what's happening. I won't be playing that. Well, that's the Brothers War, my friend.

Okay. Our problems are holiday decorations. Pedo jacketing. And finding the edge of the packing tape and endless IP crossovers

endless IP crossovers which I think is a bad problem yeah but go to biggestproblem.show to vote on it which I think

is a bad problem well when you say bad problem I go well it is bad oh you mean it is a problem it's bad nah it's too messy because you can't you can't stifle people's creativity,

like the way you're trying to say that you do. You're right. Let's just, you know what? How about, like, Sailor Moon, like, jerks off a Ninja Turtle? Is that what you people want? No, that was my third point. What? Porno.

Hentai, Japanese hentai porn. You could have unlimited IP crossover, whatever you want, do whatever you want with all the characters. No, don't do that. So you're saying you want to get rid of hentai porno? Very rarely do I approve of a hentai crossover. It has to make sense. Like Gwen 10 getting together with Raven from Teen Titans makes sense because they're both magic users.

That's fine. But when talking about a teenager right now. She's a teen Titan. She's basically a woman. It doesn't count if it's a cartoon. They draw all those cartoons like sluts. Sailor Moon is like 14 years old canonically. Okay.

They know what they're doing. It doesn't count Alright So when the rugrats Are fucking the ninja turtles It's fine That's a joke That's horrible Yeah but I

I know you don't mean that one Alright Alright Here is The Teen Titans Come on That does not count That's not That's not pedophilia that one. All right. Here is the Teen Titans. Come on. That does not count.

That's not that's not pedophilia. Robin Beast. Beast Boy looks pretty young. I don't get in with any Beast Boy stuff. All right. What can you do?

Play some voicemails. If you're a teenager when the cartoon comes out. Yeah, then you're at a disadvantage. I agree. And then you grow up. What, are you going to stop being attracted to Starfire? No. It's still Starfire.

I know. That's what I've been asking the whole time. Like, so, I mean, I remember being a teenager and having a crush on girls. I still remember that. Yeah. What am I? Giant pedophile. Basically.

Yeah, basically. We all are. Uh, okay, here we go. Yeah. I don't know if you don't know about these,

but I know Dick will. So, you know, those, uh, the new types of gas can nozzles that are designed to spill less, but because you have no leverage or ability to control them, once you're actually holding down the lever or depressing the check valve, you can't really control the gas, so it ends up spilling more. Yeah. control the gas so it ends up spilling more yeah i think things that are designed by people who have never used them before might actually be the biggest problem in the universe

that thing yeah um you need three hands to use it basically why is it so complicated uh is filling it up complicated or is getting the gas out complicated? Everything's complicated With it If you fuck up a little bit You get gas all over your hands Versus just like a You go to the gas station

Get a arrowhead Water Gallon thing And dump it in Dump it out And then just fill that with gas Yeah It's much easier

Better than this thing Yeah Yeah you're right Pretty much anything, any time someone tries to fix a problem, they make it worse. That's my philosophy. I see a lot of fitness voicemails.

I've gotten about 20 different workout routines sent to my inbox. Thanks so much. I'm obviously using all of them. Are you going to start? Yeah. Everybody's just reiterating Also, everybody wants me to get a Not everybody, but a lot of people want me to get a

Testosterone test For low testosterone Oh Yeah Will you start doing testosterone shots if you If I have low testosterone, I guess You'll come in all jacked. There's one guy who's been trying to get me to do it for like a year

and I'm just like, eh, I don't know. I gotta make time to go to the guy. And they never... And they always fuck you over. It's always some broad. Yeah. Some like 26-year-old just come out of med school. Just like, so tell me like, uh... Uh, so... Do you ever feel sleepy? I'm like, who doesn't feel sleepy?

How's your sleep been? It's like, I feel like I'm getting interviewed by Piers Morgan. Yeah. Oh. Well, they don't believe you when you're like, every day is a waking nightmare. And they're like, it's not that bad. Yeah. And you're like, no, it is.

Every day is torture. Anyway, thanks for the. I have problems sleeping. Well, do you think it's, um, do you get enough exercise? Yeah. Because you're a little, a little bigger than. How many supersets Have you been doing? Not nearly enough

Here I got one for that Guys Vito is a fat Retarded fuck Who's never seen a gym In his life Yes I have

I don't know about that one Instructions like Do some supersets Do four by eight You know Just go Starting strength Uh

It was like Three or four exercises In that whole program You'll You'll Easily Start losing weight Starting strength is like three or four exercises in that whole program. You'll easily start losing weight, and it's super fucking simple with all the stupid jargon. You'll spend less than an hour in the gym every single day so you can shut the fuck up with your whining, your bitching, your moaning, and you can finally lose some weight.

You fat, moody piece of shit. What do you think about that? I don't even know. Well, you kept breaking up, but I guess he wants me to go to the gym and not do supersets. I really want to know how many supersets I should do, Dick. I don't know what a superset is. I worked out my entire life. I don't know what a superset is. I'm fixated on the idea of the superset.

It sounds more useful than what everyone else is pitching. All right, let's see. Vito, go go to the gym let's see what that says i might go get a gym membership again all right you know i got a solution for you it's hard to go to the gym right well the issue is you're just framing things wrong you're framing it like it's something that you have to do but really you got to think about it like it's it's a side quest instead so you go to the gym so i gotta put it in gay video game terms or whatever right you're just like specking out your dnd character uh you took a meal instead of uh getting fast food you got like plus one longevity plus three it's like the Tony Robbins you just gotta frame it within some kind of nerd context

I think it would be less gay if I thought about it in terms of like how many dicks I could suck to lose the weight Jesus Christ what a stupid suggestion I'm not doing that if I'm gonna suck a dick today I gotta go to the gym that gets me half a dick and then I buy a chicken

then I get a quarter cock. Then I can suck on this dick. Yeah, that would be less gay than what you're proposing. Fucking D&D. Life hack. Yeah, life hack. Fuck you. You guys should think about this like, what if you're in the mushroom kingdom?

Well, here's what I got to do is I got to find a gym that has a good shower room. Because I used to go to those Planet Fitnesses, but they have the worst shower rooms. They're terrible. Why do you need a good shower room? What do you mean good? I want some privacy. Oh. Not like a ton of privacy, but I want to be able to take a nice long shower before and after. How much privacy?

What do you mean how much privacy? I don't know. Why? Why don't you just shower? Just sit in there. I have a whole ritual when I work out. What? What's your ritual?

Well, I want to shower before. Before you work out? Not necessarily. I guess afterwards. Okay. Yeah. What do you do after? I want a nice, quiet, not quiet.

I don't know. I want a nice shower. Here's what I don't want. What's your ritual? What do you think? I need a place that has- Teen Titans? Who would ritual i need a place that needs enough shower stalls that i don't have to worry about a guy like waiting for me to get out of there you know i don't know i've never showered at the gym you ever like use like a public toilet and someone's

waiting for you to get off the toilet not in i not in the way that i thought about it well that's that's my greatest fear and the same for It's like, I want to take a shower and not be like, well, I got to hurry up because other guys got to use this shower. You know? You're showering. You're working out in the middle of the day.

There's going to be nobody there. I'll probably go at night. And then it's going to be slammed with people. I know. I don't fucking know. Maybe I'll just shower at home. Yeah, why would you want to shower at the gym? Well, I had a gym membership, but then all the COVID stuff happened,

and there was no way I was going to work out with a mask. That's fair, right? I mean, I don't believe you. It's fair, but I... You don't believe I had a gym membership? I don't believe that you didn't go to the gym because you had to wear a mask. I didn't go to the gym because I wasn't going to wear a mask, because that would be awful. Yeah, I did it. I know. It was horrible. I didn't go to the gym because I wasn't going to wear a mask because that would be awful.

Yeah, I did it. I know. It was horrible. I don't know how you did it. How do you work out with a mask? And I did Pilates too. I just crunched it up. Yeah.

So it was always off my face. I did finally buy those fake mesh masks and I only ever got called out once for wearing them. Yeah. The ones that are clearly just like some strips of cloth. Yeah.

And it's like not really a mask at all. You know, I had a bunch of those when I lost them at a strip club. Now that that's over, I guess I could just get a gym membership again. Well, be careful. They might kick it up.

You know, election season is coming. They might kick up the prices. They might kick up COVID again. Oh, you're right. They might kind of bring it back. All right.

Then I'll have an excuse to not go to the gym anymore. Here is another one. Patty P on the road. Vito is absolutely fucking retarded about tax write-offs. You write off everything you do in a year ever. If you don't release it, it's just a loss. If you do release it, it's a loss to the cost

against the profits you made. But it doesn't save them extra money by writing it off now. It just means that if they decide to revive it ten years from now, they can't suck the cost of today against tomorrow.

Do you know that? Are, are you a Hollywood? You're like Kramer in Seinfeld. Be like, you don't know what a write-off is, and neither do I. But they do, and they're the ones writing it off. It's just deducted costs. The second half of that quote was correct. Every year, in that fucking state. Okay, shut the fuck up.

Here we go As part of Horned Brother Discovery CEO David Zaslav's Agenda to cut Three billion in spending Numerous movies And shows have been Cancelled and removed

From HBO Max And a number of Key executives Left the company Okay Despite being deep In post production Bad Girls

90 million budget Was determined to be Most valuable As a tax write off Making it Effectively illegal To release the movie Yeah million budget was determined to be most valuable as a tax write-off making it effectively illegal to release the movie yeah so you're right so the budget was written off uh it's not it's not completely irreversible but if they reversed it they have to give up the tax write-off so they don't have to pay back. Yeah. Whatever,

whatever got taken off their taxes. This is from articles I'm reading. Okay. I didn't come in and make up. I read multiple articles about this situation because I report on entertainment news and shit. And every article I've read has said, because it is a tax write-off,

they can't release it. And if they want to release it, they have to pay back whatever they got a tax write-off They can't release it And if they want to release it They have to pay back whatever they got in a write-off Yeah Okay So if What am I saying that's wrong in this situation? Other than repeating what literally every entertainment

Article on the web is reporting right now I know that you can write off expenses This is different for some reason I don't completely get it because I'm not a fucking accountant I thought you were going to say something else Because I don't have a tiny little hat That would abuse upon me an awareness of money and power Okay, but

Guys Bookkeeping in Hollywood Probably the most confusing bookkeeping Yes On earth Whatever you Guy who drives an Uber Or who manages your wife's OnlyFans

Or Etsy Yes What you're punching into QuickBooks Probably doesn't apply Your TurboTax situation I'm sure you're nailing it Is not the same as running a billion dollar movie studio You're nailing it

They have loopholes and garbage. But even like me, buying food for the show, like I have different requirements for buying food. It's taxes are... Just read, everyone who writes in about it, just go read any article about that in particular.

I didn't make it up for fun. You guys don't care. Yeah, and I also am not... I'm not trying to tell you I'm a tax expert. I'm reading articles about a thing and trying to explain it to the best of my ability. The write-off is more than the value they think of selling even the most bogus version of the show, which is sad. It's sad, and it's probably true. It is sad.

Probably true. Possible. I think it's mostly, though, that they just want To write off as much as they can Before the end of the year That's true too Or spend as much as they can So even if they could have made more money In a later year

They just want to get it all Off their books for this year Okay I got one more thing I don't know what it is But here we go I think you know what it is What the Halloween themed

Oh my god What the What the What the Halloween themes? Oh my god. It can't be! Hello, boys and girls! Oh no! Ghouls and goblins! What is I?

The Niggler! And it's my favorite time of year that's right it's Halloween I appreciate the sound design and just for the occasion I've prepared a list of fun tricks

you can treat your friends and neighbors to. Here's but a small taste. Dastardly tricks from the niggler. I don't know if our fans should be listening to this. It's all in-themed. Yeah, I get it. Okay, here's trick number one.

Here's a trick you can play from the dastardly niggler. Number one. Uh-oh. It's the beginning of the night. The light outside is beginning to dim. Right. You've just finished getting everything ready when you hear, oh, someone's at the door!

Wow, the sound design is really That's incredible! The front door begins to open! The trick-or-treater lifts up his bag in anticipation! And

BAM! Cream pie to the face! Suck to suck, kiddo! What a niggle that would be. Build up for the cream pie gag. Is that cum? Is he talking about cumming in the kid's face? I hope not.

I hope he meant an actual custard pie, but... Okay, here's number two. I don't want to jerk off on a kid. No, not if I hope he meant an actual custard pie, but... Okay, here's number two. I don't want to jerk off on a kid. No, not if I don't have to. But if I have to, I will do it. This is a short one. Number two! This Halloween,

why not offer up a plate of razor blade shaped candy? So the candy is shaped like a razor blade. Not my three! Yeah. That's a niggle and a half. Dress up and go to your local haunted house! And mock people! They get a good scare and you get a wad of cash! It's a win-win!

That's pretty creative from the beginning. Alright. Number four! This one's for the kids! You tired of that one asshole parent who hangs around his house trying to pop out and scare all the kids? I hate that guy. After a night of toiling away just for a drop of candy? Well, this year, when he jumps out to spook you, just brandish your Weenie Hut Jr. brand firearm and shoot him in the face!

The look on what's left of it will be priceless! I don't know about that one. I don't know about shooting the neighbor with a gun. I don't think that qualifies as a niggle niggler That seems a little extreme even for you Halloween Dress as a ghost and go to your nearest black neighborhood. No, no, no, no, no. And don't forget the white hood. No.

Trust me, they'll love it. Don't go to your nearest black neighborhood in a white hood, children. Number six. Six? That last one too spicy for you? How about this? Yeah? Wear blackface to your local white supremacist rally.

Wow. They'll be so scared. Ooh. I don't know if that's elbow hair. I'm an independent black man. Ooh. When did he send these to us? I have human rights.

Ooh. They just show up? They just show up. They'll be running off into the hills! Scared out of their wits! He sent them in a way where I had to click each file and download it. The most niggliest way possible. That is pretty niggly. That he could send them. What do you think about that?

Dressing up as a black man and going to a white supremacist? I don't think they'd be as spooked as he seems to think they are. Well, they'd be spooked. Well, there'd be some spookery, as to be sure, but maybe not in the way that the white supremacists would read. They'd probably cheer you on.

Oh, yeah, that's true. They'd see through your ruse. Number seven! This is the final niggle here. Commit crime! Start with something simple. Okay. Like jaywalking!

Or assault! No, that's not simple. Then maybe move on not something even worse Like being fat in public No, I think there was other I think there's other niggly things you could do Okay Don't get too niggled out there Well, that's all for now. Okay. Have a happy Halloween, everyone. Don't get too niggled out there. I cannot be held liable for any and all actions taken or damages that may have occurred due to any influence from my fun little list.

This is a legally binding verbal contract. Speak now if you wish to revoke your consent. I'll give you a minute. No, I don't want to revoke my consent, Niggly. I don't want to be held responsible.

Sorry, can't hear you. Guess I'll just take your silence as consent. Oh wait, am I supposed to consent? Oh my god, I'm so confused. Good work, Niggler. This bit is complicated now. Well, everybody, stay safe

out there for Halloween. And, uh, wear something slightly racist just to prove that the spirit of America is alive. What do you think about Kanye's thing? Talking about OJ Simpson, his fight. Wait, he talked about OJ Simpson? Yeah, the juice has been going on and on about.

Yeah, you were saying something about that. I still have not seen this clip. Does he think the juice is innocent? You know OJ. Simpson? Yes. Do you know he think the juice is innocent? You know OJ Simpson? Yes. Do you know he's non-binary now? No. He goes by they them. Is this a joke? No. OJ Simpson

is non-binary. Yeah. They them. They them. They them. Got it. So Kanye thinks the juice has been ruining his life by controlling the media. The juice Yeah Has been doing this

And that Dave I hate you so much So you're just You're saying No Let's do super chats Alright I have one more reminder

Bonus episodes At patreon.com Is your biggest problem Live show November Supposedly 19th, I guess I hope it's 19 go to live biggest problem that show to check out tickets. We will have those up Yeah, you go shortly And vote it. Oh, maybe it's not 19th biggest problem about show. Was it a Friday? Is it a Saturday 19th is a Saturday? Go ahead.

Read. Do you want to read the super chats? Okay, I'll read some super chats here. And don't forget to get in your super chats now. Get them in under the wire. Dominic for $199. Fig, bat, digger, Nick. Good job.

Ten-she for two. Can you say it faster? No. Fig, bat, digger, Nick? Fig, bat, digger, Nick. Okay, good job Tenshi for two y'all can you say it faster no Figbat Diggernick Figbat Diggernick oh okay good job I'm not gonna say it wrong Tenshi for two

says sorry way to go Dick screwed it up says y'all upset me here's two dollars please don't tell me to vote vote it up baby

Pineapple Man for $4.99 hello Dick and Vito please wish me famous YouTuber PineappleMan for $4.99. Hello, Dick and Vito. Please wish me, famous YouTuber PineappleMan, a happy birthday. Shout out to my dad, who is also watching. Well, happy birthday, PineappleMan.

For some reason, I thought that was a trick of some sort. Me too. David Gomez for two. Call to prayer, brother. Inshallah. Inshallah! Call to prayer, brother. Inshallah. Inshallah. Oh, no. Muslim call to prayer. You know, this is the bit that we always do. Inshallah to all my Muslim brothers.

Yes. We love to end our show. I do love this bit. Thank you, Thor brothers, who have watched the show. Thank you to our brothers who have watched the show. Thank you. The biggest problem, as we've said by the show, we have solved the biggest problem.

Inshallah, my brother. No more peddle-mild chicken egg. No more crossover. Halloween decorations. No. No big pumpkins. No, this is a sin against Allah. No Santa Claus. No. Halloween decorations No No Absolutely no Haram There shall be no

Transformers in the magic The Gathering game No It's a sin against Allah Go to hell The Gathering Game. No. No. Is a sin against Allah. Going to hell. No, they don't.

Do they have hell? Do Muslims have hell? Or is it just life for them is hell? They have hell? They must have hell. They probably have them because they have the virgins and everything. They probably have a shittier version of hell. I think it's just you don't get any virgins. Imagine your eyes are picked

out by and you're frozen in ice and someone's trying to sell you a cheap stereo and you don't know if it's a good deal and your wifi's not working and he won't let you go a little bit over here to look at your internet to see if it's a good deal or not.

And there's a new Nintendo console always, but you're never allowed to touch it and all your friends are playing it. Inshallah! Inshallah! Alright, alright. Thank you. That was a big... You got a lot for $2 there, David Gomez.

You have to up it next time. Pineapple Mad for $4.99. Also, Dick, I think your birthday is somewhere around this time. Tomorrow. Is your birthday tomorrow? Yeah. You didn't tell me. What are we doing? Where are we going? We? Yeah, what are we doing?

I'm doing, I'm waking up and doing drugs. Okay. Oh, next week I will not, I don't know what we're going to do because I got to go to Vegas. So we'll see if we do a fill-in show or if Dick has a guest we'll figure it out yeah the geek getaway my good friend for five you know have you played new no no no no no no near automata fucking posts all right I think gear I think he get away has not been

here because he's literally like the 20th person to try this. You read it. Vito. You play near automatic. Perfect game. Hit waifu fair and balanced gameplay and awesome story. Hit waifu to be. Yeah. Hit waifu fair. What? Okay. Fair enough. Pop quiz for nine 99 says money. Well, that's what we like to hear here on the show. Mr. Drunker for five. My biggest problem is I always want one more beer. Vote it up. Cool hat, Vito.

This is a cool hat. I actually have two of this hat. What is it? It is from Evangelion. It is the AT field which surrounds the robots and protects them from danger. Like a gay thing? Well, it is technically the wall of the soul. Oh, okay.

Yeah. It is the barrier that allows us to identify each other as individuals. So all living beings have an AT field, Dick. Oh. And, of course, the instrumentality would be to break down our AT fields and form into one perfect organism, which we don't want. Like the Q continuum? Like the, in the Q continuum Like the

In the Like the Borg No The Q continuum Or the Q continuum all one thing Kind of But the Quoto

From Star Trek Deep Space Nine What was that guy? Was he a Q? The shape shifting guy No he was like A Mercury man What am I retarded? I fucking hate

Thank you Fucking thank you. Most of the spin-offs are bad. Deep Space Nine was fucking stupid. It was like Law and Order in space.

Yeah. Oh, wow. I only ever watched Next Generation and the original. It was like Middle East, like, oh, fucking Cardassians

as Israel and the Bajors, Palestine. Wow. Oh, man. That's so fucking crazy. Space is so interesting. Uh, yeah, A. uh yeah at fields what was his

name the changing guy siloed oh quote quote quote quote chomo no homo chomo well that definitely wasn't that anyway all right cool for two says thank you all for not killing yourselves we're trying our best soul to excel for 499 veto people call James gun a chomo because he made jokes about doing said activity with Victor Salvo who is convicted one see I know the backstory of all of these what he

said was something along the lines like hey I just did a event with a convicted whatever and it was because he was doing a book reading at like a bookstore. And in the audience was Victor Salva, the director. I go back to my first question. Did he rape kids?

No. No. Then no. He's not like then anything other than that is just you making shit up. Yeah. But he didn't even know that guy. The guy just like showed up to an event he was at. And he thought it was funny because he knew the guy was a pedophile

He's like, oh, I'm pedophiles in my audience Okay, cool John for five Cool hat veto, fun hat veto, always with The flat brim tats That's a good stinger, let's get one of those Instead of ones about other things I don't like Don't reach for the button

God damn it Cat rape veto, q-tip veto Always with the hot cat tips I do have great cat tips Don't reach for the button. God damn it. There it is. Hot tip veto. Always with the hot cat tips. I do have great cat tips. Don't do it twice. Hot stock tips. Wait, I have another one. What else do you have?

I don't know. I have another one, though. This is such bullshit. I do have the hot stock tips. My stocks are coming back, baby. In a week, I'll be completely bankrupt. At least I don't own any fucking Facebook. I had like two shares of Facebook, but goddamn. Oh, I know a guy who put a ton in Facebook.

Did he put it all in Facebook? He put a lot in Facebook. Dumb. Because he wanted in on that meta shit? I mean, I don't know. I get his reasoning, reasoning but isn't facebook like 75 off at this point wasn't that 400 it's at like 100 yeah but it's unrecoverable now is it yeah because there's just no like there's no path back to 400 yeah no way yeah uh shit Yeah No way Yeah Shit I'm sorry

Fido shooting spree Fido getting into fitness New gas can nozzles Oh well We gotta take these voicemails And put them somewhere There's so many That I would love to hear

Trudeau is an F-sler Voted up for 10 from Red Coat What did Trudeau do recently? Oh he banned all guns You saw that Or all handguns What? Yeah. You saw that? All handguns? What? Yeah, Canada has officially banned all handguns.

How did you miss that story? That's like your whole thing. I want to be free and do whatever I want. No, I don't need guns to do that. Okay. You just print them. Yeah. Anime Hole Rapist for $9.99 says,

Keep it up, boys. Insert TBF trickery here. Oh, that was a good try. That was a good try. That was a good try, Anime Hole Rapist. That was a good try. I appreciate it. The Pokemon guy for $20.

I love that guy. He was the one who came to our live show and fucked with us. And I think he's a Vito-phile. Our live show. Well, I like to think I made it. Oh, he was the guy who said Yeah Who said fuck you Yeah that guy was great He loves scalping

Pokemon cards Hey Vito I just listened To the Pokemon stinger Kick ass job man I've been catching up On the show Just bought some

Pokemon boxes And making money You're still making money On that stuff Crazy To be F-ly certain I'll recoup my money

I'm holding some For Christmas You went too hard Pokemon guy You went too hard You stumped him You made him too jealous To be F-ly certain, I'll recoup my money. I'm holding some for Christmas. You went too hard, Pokemon guy. You went too hard. You stumped him. You made him too jealous. Yeah. Yeah.

You got me thinking. You got me commenting. Making money? Slowed me down. Sorry, buddy. Pokemon's never done. Well, Pokemon, like, I like Pokemon where they look like animals. Now it's like they look like-

Well, they've run out of animals to base them on. There's like a bajillion of them. Well, but it could just be a different kind of dog. Like, they don't need to... Half the Pokemon now are just a retarded squirrel with something sticking out of its head. No, there's too many Pokemon. It's like a galactic interdimensional centipede

that does like 10 trillion, like, damage. It's like, this is the Pokemon that founded the universe. Like, this is God, but a Pokemon. It's like, I like it's where it's like this is the pokemon that like founded the universe like this is this is god but a pokemon it's like i like it's where it's a mouse well my thing with pokemon is the story is really stupid there is like almost no story you gotta catch them all it's just like these things showed up and we like to make them fight each other i'm like well is like anything else going on it's like yeah some of them are gods yeah your bitch mom's riding your ass I'm like No, no, you're fucking lay, but she's just keeps fucking rejuvenating your Pokemon and giving you mixed They the deepest a narrative ever gets is like terrorists are trying to make a Charizard into an atomic bomb or some shit

Yeah, that's cool. I guess I Don't know it's just too don't you agree with me though that the Pokemon were best when it was like Looking like regular animals, but like I said they're out of like that at a certain point I don't know. It's just too... Don't you agree with me, though, that the Pokemon were best when it was, like, looking like regular animals? Yeah, but like I said, they're out of... Like, at a certain point... Dick, if I told you... You mean they're out of regular animals!

If I told you design a thousand Pokemon, you would go nuts. I could do that, no problem. You got a rock snake. Awesome-o, 5,000. You got a regular snake. Here's a dog. It's got a rock for a head. Here's a dog.

It's got a rock for a leg. Here's a dog. It's got electricity. Here's a dog. It's got a rock for a head. Here's a dog. It's got a rock for a leg. Here's a dog. It's got electricity. Here's a dog. It's a lady. Yeah, but at a certain point, they're out. They've done all that. No, that's bullshit.

Here's a mongoose, but it's got a rocket launcher. It's not Japanese, actually. I'm going to say it's dishonorable that they went into like, oh, it's a fucking centipede that crawls through time. I'm like, no, dumb. I mean, the problem is having to have so many Pokemon. There's just too many.

There's too many. Well, whatever. Eric Wong for five. Vito, I've basically quit Magic the Gathering because of the Unleashed crossovers and whale milking, but I'm only famous for playing Magic the Gathering naked. What do I do? Is that what you're famous for? Is he famous for playing Magic the Gathering naked. What do I do? Is that what you're famous for? Is he famous

for playing Magic the Gathering naked? Yeah. Where? On like a website? I have his mat here. Yeah, I know that, but that's not him being famous. That's him printing a play mat. Is he famous or is he like No. No. Okay.

So then I don't think you actually have to worry about it. I don't think this is like a gimmick that if you can't somehow. You can play poker naked and be famous. Yeah, there you go. Be that guy. John for two says, are we getting a Halloween themed episode at all? No. That was it.

What do you mean? The last week was it with the Halloween candy. And then we brought in Halloween decorations this year. Or this week. No. Next year we'll do the bonus episode For Halloween We do have to do a bonus episode

In the next week or two So we'll think of a good theme What theme do you want to do? Biggest problem in Christmas Underage cartoon characters Crossing over And having hot lesbian sex

I'm not going to apologize For finding the Teen Titans Well okay so Pretty fucking hot Garfield Garfield's a cat right Yes So he could be max

Um Nine Sure Nah right Some cats get to like 20 But Oh really He's like a younger cat

He's probably like He's young He's still spry Yeah he's still like So he has that sexual Relationship with Arlene That lady cat I thought Arlene was the nurse

No, that's Liz You're right, it is Liz Thank you Look at this Garfield D floor Arlene is the pink cat with the long neck Oh, okay I thought Garfield had sex with Nermal I hate Nermal

Oh, that's true Garfield fucked Nerm with Nermal I hate Nermal Oh that's true Garfield fucked Nermal Nermal's fucked So you're supposed to identify With Garfield's lust And desire to conquest Lazily Even though lazily

Arlene Even though he's eight The buck tooth Cat Right Yeah Even though she's gotta be No way she's over eight

Or like that sexy cat lady From Tom and Jerry How old is she? And all the cats Are going nuts for her Exactly Pedophile Yeah basically

Boom Pedophile If you think that's sexy All the furries basically They're all underage Right? All that furry shit Well they're anthropomorphic

So I don't know But Arlene's an actual cat They don't speak Garfield Them don't speak Yeah Uh Very complicated Did you uh Let's see here But Arlene's an actual cat. They don't speak. Garfield, them, they don't speak. Yeah. Very complicated.

Did you, let's see here. Michael winning for two. Can I get one last call to prayer? Not for $2. No, for $20. Only for $20 will I do the Muslim call to prayer. How long is it? The whole thing is three minutes. We're not doing that.

For $20. You'll close out them. For $50. For $50. For $50. You'll close out them. For 50 bucks. For 50 bucks. I'll do the entire Muslim call to prayer. We need to make a little box

we can put on the screen that's like, if you donate this much, you get a call to prayer. If you donate this much, you get a nice suck. For 50 bucks. Or else Allah

will be so offended that I did it. Fadix the Great for Two says, send this roll Of nickels To the niggler Nickel Hashtag nickel

Did you have to Hashtag nickel Well he had to change Niggler around I wonder if it got caught By the filter Are you not allowed To use the word niggled

Akavich for two Vito must also wear The hijab Inshallah Inshallah Vito must wear the hijab I'm not gonna wear the hijab I'm gonna go as a hijab For Halloween

Lemon sock You should You should go as like a A hijab Get a Barack Get like a little pony with wings or whatever And just ride it around No I'm gonna go as

Go as Mohammed I'm going as a hijab I'm gonna put like a bean bag on me That's so stupid Like the sorting hat And I'm gonna as a hijab. I'm going to put like a bean bag on me. That's so stupid. Like the sorting hat. And I'm going to circle the cloth around and go like, oh, you got to move me on. That's so stupid. Lemon Sake for five is even going in the show with lots of hot 14-year-olds.

Well, it's got two hot 14-year-olds. Sure. Flip and Dip for five. Loaded the stream to Vito explaining Eva instrumentality. Unbelievably based Oh I'm like the ultimate Eva scholar What do you mean? I know all the Evangelion deep lore

I know we brought a girl When we went out After the show one time This friend of ours came over And you guys were in like some weird Where were we? Evangelion like lore fucking lock For like an hour?

This is a weird you should have ever well, yeah, cuz people are always like well How come there's you know, what are the angels come from and I go well obviously the first ancestral race Launched a series of moons which crash landed on different planets, but if a black moon and a white moon lands on the same planet What are you gonna do? Then you got got To bring out the spear Robots What is No the robots Are clones of God Oh Well

A God Oh Actually two different gods Some of the robots Are clones of the one god But then the main kid's robot Is a clone of the other god For no reason

Hmm Does anyone get laid In the show Uh Is there like a Ross Rachel thing Not Not between the teenagers But uh What What the fuck to get laid in the show? Is there like a Ross Rachel thing? Not between the teenagers, but... What?

What the fuck? Why not? Who's the Kelly Kapowski? There's some shacking up, but you don't see it really. It's got fan service, though. You see some boobs. I don't want to see boobs. I want to know that someone got fucked.

Well, Masato gets... You know, she has a boyfriend. I don't want boyfriends Well then that's not what you want I want James Bond There's lesbians but you don't You only get one kiss And then they immediately die

With broads? Yeah it's like they kiss and then they turn into goo And also one of them wasn't really a lady She was a projection of a God being This is a show? Evangelion? That's what happens? They turn into a goo? Well because instrumentality was happening

And the walls of the soul were breaking down So all of humanity was merging into a primordial soup Not me But then Shinji, well you're a Shinji then Because you said hey I don't think this is the right path for humanity I think we should remain As individuals

And it kind of blew The whole thing open Thank God for anime And then he burst out His mom's eyeball Thank fucking God For Japan If we didn't have Japan

I'd honestly probably Kill myself There are the best At just fucking with you If we just had Russia The Middle East Israel

Africa Europe And the United States And Mexico I would just be like This fucking sucks I'm out of here Yeah Japan gives us

All the fun weird shit Then you're like Whoa that's fucking crazy I love it When I'm at my lowest Like I know Japan's Got something for me And they're like

Here's like a goo Like two chicks kissing They're like a goo I'm like that's awesome I mean I I want to recommend That you watch Evangelion But I also feel like

You would hate it It's on Netflix now though Yeah I would hate it And I met the little twink kid Who plays Shinji now At his signing You know It's like this little

Like the voice Yeah The voice of the The English voice of Shinji I met at a signing. And, uh, he's a little bitch.

What do you mean? I don't know. He's always on Twitter being like, uh, the only people who should voice trans characters are trans voice actors. He's annoying on Twitter. Is he? Is that the problem you have with him?

And he won't come on my, I was like, Shinji, come on my show and I want to interview anyone. He's saying, what about trans people? He's saying what about Trans people He's one of those guys

That goes like You know you can't have A white guy Voice a black guy That's true You can't have A straight guy Voice a gay guy

That's true too It's not true Nah it's true And even with like Trans characters Like you can't have A nah you know A regular cis person

Gotta be trans Everyone's trans Theoretically Nah nah Gotta be trans I'm trans Not really Well why not really I'm more trans than most trans people

Cause I actually went and got the paperwork No you're a woman That's not trans Well I was previously a man Yeah but you're not like identifying as a woman are you What does that mean Oh you're not trans then I'm a woman I identify as a woman Tell are you? What does that mean? Oh, you're not trans then. I'm a woman.

I'm a woman. I identify as a woman. Tell me I'm wrong. I want to play every character in Hollywood. No, I'm not afraid of saying that. I'm not afraid of telling you you're not a woman.

That's why you're not trans. If I'm afraid of saying you're not a woman, then you're trans. So you're telling me you can tell which trans people are valid. If I'm afraid of saying

you're not a woman, then you're trans. Then you're one of the real ones. Yeah. I'm not afraid of saying I'm afraid of saying you're not a woman, then you're a trans. Then you're one of the real ones. Yeah. I'm not afraid of saying to you, nah, you're not a woman. Well. So, sorry. I just know.

That's transphobic, Dick. It all comes back to me. You don't get to decide. It all comes back to me, the straight man. Jeff M. for two says, WTF Vito, you skipped my super chat. Well, if that happened, that means Dick scrolled too fast. You want to scroll down? Was there another Jeff M

No he could tweet it he could spend it again Yeah spend it again The god of all Pokemon is a llama It's dumb I don't know if I've seen the god of the Pokemon Is that Xerxes thing Or Circus Is that supposed to be like a llama

I think he's trying to spell llama Llama is two L's yeah it's a llama hey refresh god of all pokemon is a llama well tell us what the name of it is and we can look it up uh drunken atheist studio for five says is it safe to say wait wait wait what here it's all down here oh shit where did that all come from fig womberton for tense is veto makes a good point i already know you're trying to trick me because you said that anytime you say veto is right or veto made a good point i know it's a trick and i don't even need to read the rest of it and i was right this is veto has the perspective with the count of pokemon

should be or not to be. F enough, I agree. Crazy to think Vito is this smart. Well, you can say fair. No, because I said to be. But you can say without connecting the two. Okay. If there's, yeah, fair enough, he said. Yeah. Yeah, anytime you say Vito is smart or Vito is right,

I know it's a trick and I'm not falling for it because no one ever says that ever. Limitsake for two. I love Evangelion. It's it's keno that's correct pokemon guy for fifty dollars says do it dick contact our muslim brothers and let them know that there must be a reckoning for the non-believers what i like about this this call to prayer is that it has 10 seconds of silence. Yeah, you gotta find where. You can just start in the middle.

You paid 50 bucks! I'm talking about the Pokemon! The god of the Pokemon is a llama! The llama is the most powerful Pokemon! The llama! The llama is the most powerful Pokemon! The llama Pokemon is the greatest! The greatest Pokemon in the world! You're just doing Dom and Pacos now.

It is the most powerful Pokemon! It's the llama! We've all started. I have a four professor Oka card in my deck. To discard the cards, draw new hands. I have a three or four Ultra Ball in my deck. If you do not have the Ultra Ball, you cannot catch the Mewtwo. You will be so ashamed for your family, and you'll never find the Curse of Allah. I have a one Radiant Venusaur.

Venusaur, Venusaur uses a solar beam to contact the spirit realm. And it's most powerful a la Pokemon. I have a one flying donkey Pokemon flying around

dropping shit all over your Pokemon. The Murak is the most powerful fairy Pokemon with the flying, and the seismic toss is the most powerful move. I only have energy from Allah. I only have Allah energy, not a colorless, not a fire energy, not a fire energy, not a water energy, not a leaves. The only type of energy card allowed

In Islamic Pokemon Is the Allah energy If your Pokemon does not use Allah energy It is banned from Allah Pokemon Islamic Pokemon What the heck is Team Rocket? Is Shalach? Mash Kalak?

Is Halal? Halal? haram. The messenger from Allah is the prophet. Do not try to prophet me. I will kill you and your family. What I say are only flipper heads. Only flipper heads. Allah only flipper heads. Only flipper heads. Allah, only flipper heads.

What you do is you're only flipper heads. No confusion. No confusion. Shalala, there's no poison on the Pokemon. You must not get the poison on the Pokemon. It is against Shalala. It is not a Shalala. Praise be to Muhammad to Al-Lalah.

What I say from beginning. My brothers My brothers Alright What a nightmare that was And we're gonna be cancelled forever At some point And it's gonna be that clip that does it

That one's That one's As you guys watch this show where they yell about Pokemon as if they were as if they were Islamic preachers. Oh my God.

Well, we're canceled forever. Michael winning for us too says there goes your 50. Yeah, there you go. Flip and Dip has donated $20 saying I am super chatting $20 for Dick to watch the Eva series plus the movies just to hear his take on it.

No. Well, that's an answer right there. Lemon sake for two. This is the main character wax on a girl in a coma. That's true. That's a famous scene. Like Beats Off? Yeah. And then he looks at his hand that's covered in cum. You've never seen that screenshot of a guy's hand covered in cum? off. Yeah, and then it looks at his hand that's covered and come you've never seen that Screenshot of a guy's hand covered and come no, he's post that on Twitter

I'll look for it drunk an atheist do your five is it safe to said the Snyder verse stands with the cringiest community on the internet say yes Calling poor James Gunn a pedophile for the mere fact that he was funny in the 2010s. Yeah, that's dumb For the mere fact that he was funny in the 2010s. Yeah, that's dumb. Okay. Couple more here. Here we go.

Freddie F for five. Yay is the only free speaking person I know. Yay. Yay. The Pokemon guy for fives is worth every cent. The god of Pokemon is Arceus. I'm drunk. I know.

Vista. I don't know. Jeff M for two. I know. Says, be fair and go back to read my chat. If I had read through it quicker. People have tried that before. Eloy for 10.

Trump yay 2024. Well, nobody got me this week. Sorry, folks. Bye. Maybe I'm just getting too good. Live show. Go to live.biggestproblem.show Yeah. Check out the bonus problems at patreon.com slash biggest problem. Real quick, put up a graphic on

the screen, Dick. I know you hate to do it, but you have to. And thanks to all our top supporters. Again, patreon.com slash biggest problem. And don't forget to vote at biggestproblem.show I can't believe we did that Islam thing. I know. we're going to hell Which is fine because that's not real

No they have a different hell Yeah we're not getting our virgins I mean I can't believe we did it Like those guys Man Those guys go all day They put on a good show They do

I couldn't do that But you have to understand like We're trying We're doing a comedy thing So you always have to heighten it You know You think that They just

Go lazy with it Yeah they don't have to heighten anything Yeah Cause it's just like It just comes so naturally to them The anger Towards women And the white man

And everything else Yeah no I understand that Yeah They're very angry people. Well, I'm very angry. What are you talking about? Are you talking about having a mass shooting last week? I mean, just imagine having the most guys, you know, like you're a Muslim.

It's like, we have the most guys. Why are we not in charge of everything? It's like, well, because you guys keep fucking up. You're like, we got guys in every country. How are we not taking over And it's like There's a certain group that has less It's not the numbers

It's the cunning and the tactics Some religions do it better Alright goodbye Goodbye everybody I'll be in Vegas next week Oh shit Okay