The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 67

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

Elon Musk, Conservatives, Bad Blood...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Last time I was here we had our little friend Fuentes And now he's all grown up Sucking Ye's dick I imagine there's going to be some Fuentes talk This episode You really think so? Go live because we're going to get it all out of the way Alright alright alright
Starting point is 00:00:18 I mean tonight the biggest night of The Kanye stand up The Ye campaign is on its way the biggest night of... The Kanye stand-up. The Kanye campaign is on its way. The biggest night so far. The biggest night, exactly. So far. The train is moving, coming out of the station. Let's not use any train metaphors when we refer to Kanye's campaign.
Starting point is 00:00:37 When you say we shouldn't, when you say we, who do you mean by we there? The trains are leaving the station. I'm not going to say where they're going or what will happen to the people once they arrive. But the yay trains are leaving the station. Was that the funniest thing you've ever seen? Which thing? Nick Fuentes going, yeah, but it is them. It's got to be like, it's got to be a dream.
Starting point is 00:01:04 He's got to be living a fever dream That kid has to like Wake up and pinch himself He's gotta like My favorite fucking rapper Of all time Is here backing me up On my race realist
Starting point is 00:01:13 Anti-Semitism Like ooh and a million Fucking years They're both anti-Semites I know My favorite politician Father figure And my favorite rapper
Starting point is 00:01:21 Father figure Both love me And it turns out they're both, they all hate the Jews. And not even, but it's like, it's not even like a little bit. He's like putting him to shame. Like, Ye is running off a show. He hates Jewish people so much.
Starting point is 00:01:34 And Fuentes is like following him, like trying to be on that level of Jew hatred, you know? Yeah, can you believe it? Fuentes every day must be like, I'm gonna wake up in the VR simulation, take the headset off, and it's all gonna be gone. Like, day must be like, I'm gonna wake up in the VR simulation and take the headset off and it's all gonna be gone. This must be an illusion. How much do you hate the Jews that
Starting point is 00:01:49 like, Poole gives the gentle, he's like, all the Jews? And yeah, he's like, get me out of here! What do you mean all the Jews? What do you mean all of them? Of course! You could tell he was like, you could tell he was gonna come up with one of those Lex Friedman things, like, okay, wait, right after Tim Poole said, you'd tell he was going to come up with one of those Lex Friedman things. Like, well, like, okay, wait.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Right after Tim Pool said, you'd be good for the black vote. But I don't like talking with Jews. I don't want to talk about any sort of race. Identity politics. What the fuck did you mean? I'd be good for the black vote then. What was that? I'm going to do the radio thing real quick.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Just for those of you who don't know what we're talking about. I'm going to do the radio thing real quick. Just for those of you who don't know what we're talking about, tonight, Ye and his entourage of Milo Yiannopoulos and Nick Fuentes appeared on the Tim Pool radio program. Briefly. Very briefly. Not entourage, groupies. Groupies.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Let's get it right. Let's get it right. Hangers on. Don't you wish you were still friends with Nick as the news calls him Fuentes? I wish I could be friends with Nick just so that I could have ran off to suck Ye's dick before he did.
Starting point is 00:02:53 I wanted him to come into that room with me and Milo on each fucking ball. And he's like, oh, no, am I too late? Did he already nut? Like, that's what I wanted to be. Do you think Ye could tell you and Nick apart because you're both mixed race? That's a good question like
Starting point is 00:03:06 one of you Mexicans good you love Fuentes still what do you mean still I'm saying I love for Nick Fuentes I didn't even know what love was until this week destiny I think you had an interesting relationship with Nick Fuentes it sounds like
Starting point is 00:03:22 you've kind of fallen out of your favor is Is that incorrect? You know, we go, we have our phases. We have our phases. It's an autistic Hispanic thing. Sure. We go back and forth. Dick famously on this show just professes his weird.
Starting point is 00:03:35 Why is it weird? Because it doesn't make any sense. I know you don't actually agree with anything he says. I like having my bank accounts more than I like saying. Okay, but he wants like a trad Catholic world where you don't ever look at a woman with lust in your eyes and you never see a pornographic magazine.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Don't shrug. I know you don't want that. I know this is against everything Dick Masterson is supposed to stand for. He's endearing, okay? He's so funny, though. He is funny, but that's your excuse for everything Yeah but I value that more than all those things
Starting point is 00:04:08 He can go I'm gonna kill you and your whole family and as long as he was funny about it you go well what am I gonna do? Wait yeah That is the ultimate weakness for Dick Masterson If you can make him laugh you can do anything Did you see that Kanye stole Tim Pool's cookies as he was walking out the door? No he didn't. He went into the break room and grabbed a stack of fake news. No, you're lying.
Starting point is 00:04:29 No, you did. I swear that's true. I don't believe you. Yay for president. Do you think he's going to win, Destiny? You know, I'm done making predictions about anything political. I think we're past that stage. I wish I could have gotten a fucking recording of what Trump's face looked like when Ye suggested that he runs as his vice president.
Starting point is 00:04:52 I don't know what's going on in whose head. I don't know what's going on. We're back, baby. We're back. We're back in 2016. Yes. It was a crazy time. Yeah, we're back, man.
Starting point is 00:05:03 This is literally insane. I know. You're like eating this up Like you don't understand All night this is all He's like we're back We're back I'm like what do you mean we What is happening Nick Fuentes reverse you peopled
Starting point is 00:05:16 Tim Pool That's how you think He's like well I'm sorry that they treated you What do you mean they This is a nightmare This is not how politics is supposed to work This is not how discourse is supposed to work How This is not how discourse is supposed to work. Oh, how would you like it?
Starting point is 00:05:28 Everybody just calls each other pedophile. I don't know. Maybe a guy doesn't walk into a popular podcast, starts spreading crazy anti-Jew whatever, and then... Whoa. I don't know what's going on. I don't get any of it.
Starting point is 00:05:39 It's always crazy. You're discounting his opinion. I am. I'm being racist towards yay. That's able, like, ableist. Where are your parents from? I don't know anything about this veto guy. I haven't seen him. That's opinion. I am. I'm being racist towards yay. That's able like ableist. Where are your parents from? I don't know anything about this Vito guy. I haven't seen him. That's true. There is always the, what do you call it?
Starting point is 00:05:52 The ongoing conspiracy theory that I'm a secret Italian Jew or something. Oh, there's a conspiracy that you're a Jew? Yeah. Have you ever been secretly called a Jew? Like somebody thinks you're a... A crypto Jew? Is that what they call them? Something like that. I've had 4chan. Yeah. Crypto Jew.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Wow. I don't know. Last time you were here... Yeah, last time you were here was the Ralph Week, wasn't it? I think so. Ralph and Fuentes on the phone. With Jesse Lee Pearson. Yeah, everything going on, yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:17 That was a fun night. It was. You know the Odyssey guy, Julian? You ever talk to that guy? Yeah. Do you know of him? He's a huge fan of yours. He's a cool fan of yours.
Starting point is 00:06:25 He's a cool dude. He is a very cool dude. But every time we talk about that week, every time I meet up with him, somehow you come up. And he's always gives me this. He's like, man, Destiny, we've got to get that. We've got to get Destiny on Odyssey. He's fantastic. He's really fantastic. No matter what we're talking about, He will always circle it Back around to you
Starting point is 00:06:45 It's so funny But he always talks about That time you were in here And we were talking To Nick Fuentes Oh great That's good I feel flattered
Starting point is 00:06:51 You gonna go call in tonight? I don't know Julian's probably texting you No no Fuentes Oh They're not just like They're doing anything right now right?
Starting point is 00:06:59 I mean they're sitting on the jet Hopefully they're watching Do you think they're both Massaging Kanye's shoulders Right now Telling him what a big W Shoulders They're licking his feet. Hopefully they're watching. Do you think they're both massaging Kanye's shoulders right now, telling him what a big W is? Shoulders?
Starting point is 00:07:08 They're licking his feet. Come on. Oh, my God. Daddy Ye. It was awesome. We were just there. We were talking upstairs, and it's like, I can see. It's so funny because Ye walks off, and I know Fuentes. There's some part of his mind where he's like, okay,
Starting point is 00:07:21 I get two hours of Tim Pool alone. I get to preach in front of probably the largest audience I've ever had. Oh, he's thinking about it. For a solitude. Yeah. And then Milo's like, I'm two hours of Tim Pool alone I get to preach in front of Probably the largest audience I've ever had For a solitude And then Milo's like I'm gonna go check on him And Milo scampers off And Fuentes is like
Starting point is 00:07:31 Fuck Should I have been The first guy Should I have been The first guy He's thinking He's probably playing it Over in his head
Starting point is 00:07:37 Like I bet he's in the room I bet Yeah he's like Thank you for coming Milo Like come give me a hug And a kiss maybe And then like two minutes later Fuentes is like
Starting point is 00:07:43 I gotta go guys I gotta get out of here And he like runs off Like trying to find like where they at Oh my it's like the saddest fucking like leech behavior ever it is like fucking his blue yay approved sweatshirt Probably the third time in this guy's life He's ever had a fucking sweatshirt This guy's in a air- He's never in a suit normally
Starting point is 00:07:59 This is such jealousy that's coming at you No I think this is fascinating And they're just jealous that they that first of all he's got the ear of Ye and that he's controlling the political... Like, Nick Fuentes. He's the future vice president of America. He's arrived with his thumb on the scale. His thumb is on the scale. And his other thumb up Kanye's ass.
Starting point is 00:08:15 And number two, he totally embarrassed Tim Pool. You're also jealous of that. He did. They made him look like a fool, I guess. Yeah. That's how some people are interpreting it. I don't know how to feel about it. Really?
Starting point is 00:08:28 Who comes out on top in that scenario? Tim Pool or Ye? Really? It's got to be Pool. Ye left. He gets the gentlest of pushback. It's like a fucking breeze and he falls over. Yeah, but that's like so Ye that he's just like,
Starting point is 00:08:43 like he almost could mind read what they were going to say. And then he's like So yay That he's just like Like he almost Could mind read What they were gonna say And then he's like I'm getting out Before it even happens That's how many levels Above you I am right now I don't like identity
Starting point is 00:08:52 Okay whatever I'm out Like where is this Gonna go then It's just gonna be like Arguing over terms For another two hours While you rake in
Starting point is 00:09:00 Super chats Fuck you I'm out And I'm taking your cookies As I go I think they both look stupid is the thing. They're in the middle of,
Starting point is 00:09:06 have you ever been to Poole's Place? No. It's in the middle of fucking nowhere too. It's like, yeah, like you fly a jet out there,
Starting point is 00:09:12 you take an Uber to the house and like halfway there you're like, where the fuck am I going? Somebody's about to like take a, harvest a kidney from me because it's in the middle
Starting point is 00:09:18 of nowhere. So they went really far out of their way to leave this little prank. For this little prank. Yeah. Imagine Kanye West just pranking your fucking, your little fucking podcast.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Like, I can imagine Milo kind of telling him, like, look, we're gonna go in there, you're gonna say Jews, he's not gonna acknowledge it, and then we're just gonna leave. And it's gonna be epic. I mean, it worked! Everyone's talking about it. The first thing I thought was exactly like what you said, like, oh man, I bet
Starting point is 00:09:43 Nick Fuentes doesn't know what to do. Like, cause he could stay there and like, two hours Tim pulls That's the largest. It's a larger show. He's been on right. I would be a chance to talk uninterrupted Yeah, and no offense to pool, but Fuentes will run circles around that entire table absolutely Cuz he's got like the patter down. He's got all his talking points, and he's great at it So he's got a pick between, like I could feel that. As soon as Kanye left, I was like, oh no, Nick. Oh my God. Oh, what are you going to do? You can't stay there because
Starting point is 00:10:11 you look like you're betraying him. You have to walk away. It was like in Indiana Jones when he's like grabbing the Holy Grail. And he's like, Junior, let it go. I was like, oh, Junior, let it go. Let it go, let it go. You have to walk. Oh, damn Steve. Yeah, he's in the middle. Fuentes is in the middle of the fucking point.
Starting point is 00:10:27 He hears a plane, and he's like, do they take off without me? Like, oh, God. He would just leave him, too. He would just leave him there. Okay, should we start the show? Yeah, let's start the show. Thanks for coming in, Destiny. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Busy day for you. You're on the podcast circuit now. Yeah. Oh. It's a busy day for you. You're on the podcast circuit now. Oh, let's start. Yeah. Oh! We got a lot of people watching. Maybe not. I don't know. Big show.
Starting point is 00:10:51 Biggest problem in the universe. Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from sensationalized hate crimes to being sick on your own time. That's a good one from Isaac Cox. I'm your host, Dick Mastin. Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi. Hi, Dick. Joining us special for this episode only,
Starting point is 00:11:19 in town for a few moments to stop by and grace us with his rapist wit on the show. Thank you. What's that? Destiny. I'm glad to be out of the closet because being a rapist and hiding is a lot of work,
Starting point is 00:11:33 okay, but now I can just be totally open with it. It's more fun to be out there. It is, absolutely. You've got everyone working against you in that closet
Starting point is 00:11:41 trying to shove you out. The only thing that sucks now is now girls will DM me with rapist fantasies, but it's not fun if they're into it. You know, now it's just destroyed it for me. The ultimate like a Twilight Zone curse that you got. Exactly, yeah. Now they know.
Starting point is 00:11:53 I have to move to a new area, change my identity. So I can rape women. The traditional way. Yeah, you stream, you stream like all the time, right? I try to, yeah. You try to? 12 to 10 every day, yeah. Do you really? It's my goal, yeah. Oh my
Starting point is 00:12:08 fucking God. I'm a fucking computer loser. Well, computer winner, right? I mean, there's other guys doing it and they're not making anything out of it. You're a loser until you're a winner, I guess. Yeah, what is your situation now? I know Keffel's fucked you over. The last thing I know about you is Keffel's fucked you over. I won that war. You won that war?
Starting point is 00:12:24 Yeah, I made a big ass fucking manifesto where I buried that motherfucker. Half the internet turned against her. She's fucking done. She's basically done. Yeah, like, isn't she basically offline now? Oh, yeah. She got a week ago. I saw my cease and desist hit her inbox.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Oh, really? Hell yeah. I got the best. After listening to all the yay shit, I got the best Jewish lawyer in fucking Canada. That's what you do. And this guy is real. Because other lawyers I've talked to in the past are always timid. And I'm talking to this guy, and I'm like, you know, do you think it's okay or whatever?
Starting point is 00:12:50 Like, you know, because sometimes they get timid. They're like, oh, well, I don't know. You're going to look bad. And this guy's like, bro, I'm getting paid either way. So whatever you want to do, let's go. And I'm like, fucking hey, man. Fire away then. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Hell yeah. I need a lawyer like that. After I got thrown into the anti-homeless architecture in front of Netflix I talked to these lawyers Did you see that? You got assaulted I fucked you up almost as bad as that bowling ball did With your wrist
Starting point is 00:13:16 That was the last time I saw you I'm back man That's good You still got that scar though That's intense The last time I saw you I was cradling my arm like a wounded animal. And you were like, you're leaving so soon? I was like, get the fuck out of my face.
Starting point is 00:13:35 And then the cops came in. Yeah. People thought you were faking. They're like, oh, Dick just running out on Ralph again. That's what I assumed. I thought you were just like, I'm out of here. I knew, though. I'm like, no, that is an old man who hurts himself constantly.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Can I just say that I don't know if I complained to you or not. Ralph fucked me on that show so hard. Oh, with the debate? Yeah, where we got a bar full of these like rowdy, everybody's having a good time. And what does he bring me up like, today we're going to have a discussion
Starting point is 00:14:04 on globalism versus isolation. Like, what the fuck? And everybody just goes silent. Before the bowling. Was that before or after Alex Stein did stand-up? I don't know. Alright. Because that really sets the mood for a good debate.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Some rousing stand-up. Yeah. And now let's settle in for a debate. Are you and Ralph fighting now? No, I think we're okay. Okay, good. I need like a board. I have to ask everybody that when they're on my show.
Starting point is 00:14:32 I'm like, oh, I'll mention a name and their face will go like, and I'll be like, oh, are you guys not friends? They're like, I hate that guy. I'm like, okay. That's interesting. We may have a problem when it talks about that sort of thing. I forgot what I was going to say. I'm always surprised
Starting point is 00:14:46 I'm still on Ralph's good side because he's hated me and then goes back. That's the Ralph cycle, you know? It is. Are you truly ever a friend of Ralph if he hasn't tried to
Starting point is 00:14:54 internet assassinate you at least one time? I think you're the only true friend of Ralph, though. Because we're like the same guy. Yeah, I think of all the people that like Ralph would never betray you
Starting point is 00:15:04 because you're like the only person that yeah I just get him psychopath soul brothers yeah I don't know what comes to me and they go why does dick hang out with Ralph and I go I don't know and areas yeah well that's pretty much the answer that's the dick Masterson barometer for any human being. Okay. I forget what I was saying. Okay, so you're suing Keffels. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Potentially. If she does not desist. It's not just a desist. I want a retraction. Oh, a retraction. A printed retraction? An apology? Calling me transphobic and saying I directed hate raids and shit.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Normally for internet shit, I don't care because it's internet shit. The problem though is that people are writing stories on like the fucking Washington Times about me and shit.
Starting point is 00:15:51 I'm like, I don't want this fucking shit when I like, my bread and butter has been debating from the left like trans issues and stuff. I don't want people writing
Starting point is 00:15:58 that I'm fucking transphobic. That's insane. And she knows she lied about it. Like she even tweets after. It's like, oh, I was just trying to bait him. It's like, fuck you. There's a lot of that going on
Starting point is 00:16:05 A lot of guys are not realizing Like you can't just libel people Because of the internet And it's whatever Well not in Canada Not in Canada In the US you can Because God bless the freedom of speech
Starting point is 00:16:14 That's true I love it But also Fucking Africa As soon as I started reading up On their libel laws And I'm like oh shit This is some
Starting point is 00:16:22 I get how much of her money Let's go. So you're not transphobic? Not usually. Just towards couples. No. Not even towards couples. Not even towards couples.
Starting point is 00:16:32 I'm never transphobic. We support everyone's identity and right to exist. I do. Oh, I remember what I was saying. The lawyer. I talked to all these lawyers after I got thrown into the concrete ball at Netflix at the protest. Yeah. And they're like, well, you know, see how it works out for like a couple years.
Starting point is 00:16:47 And like, if your dick falls off, then like I could get you some money. Like if you get, if you're worried, if you get fired. I'm like, uh. Yeah, the whole situation. I guess I really didn't like understand what a lawyer is.
Starting point is 00:16:59 I thought it's like, you could see on the video that he's throwing me into concrete. Yeah, but. I don't want to sue that. I don't want all this shit. That whole situation did not work out in a good way for us. Damn. Because everybody wanted me to pursue charges because the guy broke my sign.
Starting point is 00:17:15 I went to the LAPD and they're like, yeah, I don't know. We'll take a report and then never talk to you again. I'm like, well, thanks. Yeah. I'm like, the LAP doesn't care. They're not going to chase down Some TV executive Did you give them a I pay your
Starting point is 00:17:27 What do I pay your salary for To the cops Yeah yeah I really chewed them out That's what you should do I mean to be fair You're walking into a precinct With like a 30% clearance rate
Starting point is 00:17:34 On fucking homicides So they're probably not Gonna be investigating No they don't give a shit Sign destruction disturbances Yeah Well that's Which is fine
Starting point is 00:17:41 I get it It's the people online Who go I don't know why You didn't keep pushing it I'm like what do you Would you want me to beg the cops To. It's the people online who go. I don't know why you didn't keep pushing it Oh, yeah Would you want me to beg the cops to like it's very guy immediately tell when people don't interact with a cop Yeah, buddy steals your shit. They're like did you file a police report? They don't care they're not going to do anything it's LA
Starting point is 00:17:58 I'm sorry police reports exist for one reason and one reason alone and that's to take to your insurance company Yeah, they can give you shit you shit because those are the only people that are going to give you anything for your lost or stolen goods. Okay, let's do... This is last week's results but it's really today's, I guess. What did we record?
Starting point is 00:18:16 Friday. It's been a couple days. Badly timed traffic lights. That was a terrible problem for me and I won. But I took it home. Those are the worst. See, everybody... I did a terrible job making it and I won But I took it home Those are the worst See everybody I did a terrible job making it funny
Starting point is 00:18:28 But I think everyone's just like those are the worst That is a terrible problem They time them to fuck you in some places I think there's a guy watching Cause I've got like a decently fast 350 horsepower little hot hatch or whatever And there'll be times where I'll turn that fucking sport mode on And I'm like I'm gonna fucking make this next one And you don't
Starting point is 00:18:43 There's a guy pushing the buttons to fuck you Every time you come up to the light I'm like, I'm gonna fucking make this next one. And you don't. There's a guy pushing the buttons to fuck you every time you come up to the light. I'm like, no shot! We're not gonna say what his race is. What? The guy in the box? Shut the fuck up, gay. Jesus Christ. It's a white gentleman holding down
Starting point is 00:18:57 the black motorist. Getting sick during time off, yay. Good one. Sensationalism. I guess nobody liked my take on the shooting. Yeah, he thinks the shooting was too sensationalized. It wasn't a gay guy to shoot up the club. He's saying he was
Starting point is 00:19:13 non-binary. He looks pretty gay. I don't think he's not gay. What'd you think about that? I heard non-binary. It was an episode, it was a TV episode of fuck, what show would it be? Where the dad is like, well at first I thought he was in there looking was a TV episode of fuck what show would it be where the dad is like well at first? I thought he was in there looking for a dude. Yeah But then I thought he was just looking for dudes to kill and I was you know
Starting point is 00:19:33 Really dodged that bullet people in the club actually okay Hippie Thanksgiving terrible problem from me, but it doesn't matter because I won and I am the winner. Good job. Okay. I've got some comments and then we're going to, did you think of a problem by the way? I got a problem. We got a problem. Fantastic. Okay.
Starting point is 00:19:54 You know, everyone thought that you and I should do this show. We should reboot it together. Did you happen to see any of that? I know you're much bigger. Way back. Way back. Before even I was ever anything. Are you firing your co-host live We didn't talk about this Before
Starting point is 00:20:06 He would fire me for you I'm pretty sure Which is fine He owns the trademark On the show Yeah did you have People were shipping us To do the show
Starting point is 00:20:15 After the After the last show You guys are a good pair though Yeah I don't know if you saw Any of that Well I think it works Cause me and
Starting point is 00:20:21 Well I consider myself Liberal centrist And Destin you're Kind of the same right pretty left I think yeah on the crowd. I'm way that just depends I also think I'm pretty left but then you know a lot of people say cuz I hang out with Dick Masterson clearly I am a Nazi. Yeah, there you go So yeah, you actually like give us all the time in the world. It's really nice. I Think you personally have like tamped debt like let so much steam out of the engine.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Nick Fuentes' train, wherever it's going, out of the steam engine. I think the show works, though, because we have, you know, a kind of liberal perspective. And then a guy who, as long as it's funny, will agree with the most racist and horrible speech out there. And that's the show. What's racist about? I don't know. They all said they. Nobody said any kind of words.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Anti-Semitic, whatever you want to call it. Okay, Goaty McGoatface. Vito has the potential to be extremely hilarious. I'm going to read this one. I saw this one. It made me sad. The potential to be hilarious. I don't want to read it. Just read it. God damn it. I saw this one. It made me sad. The potential to be hilarious. I don't want to read it.
Starting point is 00:21:27 Just read it. God damn it. But he's lazy. Yeah. So we rarely get to witness it. Buck up, Vito. Start treating your work like a blue-collar job. Put ten hours in a day, five days a week, into your comedy skits.
Starting point is 00:21:40 That's my crying time. Stand-up and comic. That's my argue on Twitter time. It'd be a shame if a hilarious guy like you doesn't reach your potential. That is true. That's a good point because like to be serious like I'm always blown away that when I come in here Dick is walking back and forth upstairs. He's rehearsing lines and jokes. He's got written for the show. This dude's already fucking drunk by the time we walk in. I was not drunk! On white claws! You get way too drunk on a show.
Starting point is 00:22:04 I come in and he's meaning to talk to you about that. By the time we walked in. I was not drunk. On white claws. On white claws. You get way too drunk on a show. I commit. I get too drunk on the show. By the end of the show, you're like, unbelievable. Rolling around with a dog. It's not even understandable. Dick over here.
Starting point is 00:22:13 I'm drinking delicious Mountain Dews here to keep myself awake tonight. The claw, yes. The problem with the live show, we just had a live show. Have you ever had one of those? We did do a live show. Is this a live show? Well, we sold live show. Have you ever had one of those? We did do a live show. Is this a live show?
Starting point is 00:22:25 Well, we sold tickets and all that nonsense. Oh, cute. How did that go? It went really well, I thought. What do you mean cute? It's cute to do a show in front of people. It is cute. You got your internet people, and you're all there with your friends.
Starting point is 00:22:36 You're like, hey, guys, what's up? Well, the problem is the internet people think that they can just yell, because they still think they're alone in their bedrooms. Like they're in a chat room. Yeah. And you're like, this is not the chat portion. Like we're doing a show. Shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:22:49 That was kind of the big problem. The problem with the live show was the audience participating. Yes, that's exactly it. Wow. You should just do like a WATP and do a normal show. All right. Well, next time. Well, I like that they wrote.
Starting point is 00:23:02 That guy's probably mad because he wasn't in the audience shouting. He thought he had the funniest joke and nobody said it. He was only in chat pounding away at his fucking, yeah, well. That guy's probably mad because he wasn't in the audience shouting. He thought he had the funniest joke and nobody said it. He was only in chat pounding away at his fucking energy. I like that people wrote their problems on the cards and we riffed on the cards. I thought that was a good bit. Yeah, I like when people shout. Because then you can shout at them.
Starting point is 00:23:18 I don't know. I don't know if it translates to the if that energy translates to a recording later though. I don't think so. No, people hate it. Yeah. So maybe to enjoy the live show, you have to be at the live show. Definitely. And then we give you the recording, and like, look, it's not going to be the same.
Starting point is 00:23:32 It's not the same as seeing the concert, okay? Yeah. You're not at the Budokan with cheap trick, but enjoy what you got. There is like an energy to an audience. I haven't even done that much live shit, but live debate and everything, when the audience is booing and cheering, there's like a feeling for that that's actually like it's hard to get that online.
Starting point is 00:23:49 Your debates would be so, like, it seems like it would be so much more fun and rewarding to do like the old Lincoln-Douglas debates. For Mines, I didn't event in New York or whatever. Shout out to Mines. I love you guys. But yeah, you've got like audiences booing and cheering for certain people. You're getting hyped up or whatever.
Starting point is 00:24:05 And you're trying not to misspeak and making sure all your facts are straight. Everything. Yeah. That's high pressure. For sure. Yeah. I would like to see you guys do a debate with the powdered wigs and the big coats and everything. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Really dress it up. I'd show up for that. That's what Ralph's bowling debate was supposed to be. Yeah. Was it? It didn't. Yeah. That didn't translate at all.
Starting point is 00:24:24 It turned into a fist fight. Did you see Ralph get, that guy come up and hit him? Cockbill or whatever. Ralph just stood there. He saw it coming. He's like, do it, hit me. Yeah, he did. And it turned out that guy fucked his sister.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Jesus Christ. His own sister. His own sister. I think, the guy that hit him. You're going to Ralph's wrestling thing, right? Of course. Are you kidding me? I kind of want to go.
Starting point is 00:24:44 Are you going? Destiny, are you going to Ralph-a-mania? Yeah. Ralph-a- me? I kind of want to go. Are you going? Destiny, are you going to Ralph-a-mania? Ralph-a-mania? I want to compete in Ralph-a-mania. You can debate before the wrestling event.
Starting point is 00:24:52 No, during. During. As two wrestlers are going at it. Okay, Benjamin Swearingen says we need stingers for every time problems about food
Starting point is 00:25:01 or LA traffic are brought in. Go fuck yourself. Oh, shit. I guess don't do LA traffic. So they sprung on me when I came in here. They're like, you need a problem. It's an important part of the show. Like two minutes before going live. And obviously the first thing I say
Starting point is 00:25:12 because I'm back in LA is like the traffic. And they tell me that it's every episode. Don't worry. It really is hell on earth here. And I stand by my original statement. If you live here and you commute every day, just fuck you. Yeah, I don't get it I don't know what kind of life you live. I don't know why you would subject yourself to it
Starting point is 00:25:28 Fuck your family fuck living here and fucking leave. Yeah, yeah a blight on yourself. That's based It's disgusting if you live more than like 20 minutes from where you're working What's the point of being alive? Just live at work? True. Live in a tent outside. Get one of those fucking pods people are doing that. What do you think of our homeless? It's been a while since you've been back. You see they're building like little cities under our city? You know, when a homeless guy's walking around screaming, I just pretend he's got the AirPods
Starting point is 00:25:51 in. He's probably having a good conversation with somebody up there, you know? Everything's chill. He walks right by me like he's talking on the phone, you know? Last one. Brenalock said, I just heard the voicemail from the guy who said he passed out at the live show. I don't think he knows the extent of his passing out. Did he just get so excited?
Starting point is 00:26:10 It was BYOB. No, I think he got too drunk, unfortunately. I have a very liquor-fueled audience. I was the other guy who walked out because I was too drunk and high and tired to stay awake. It was kind of a crazy show. My wife and I watched that guy pass out while he was still standing up. He hit his head on a tree
Starting point is 00:26:32 on the way down and then just fell asleep. Supposedly. Is it they just assumed that? Let's hope so. We thought he was hurt or dead. Yeah. So we walked over to check on him but then that guy's girlfriend came out yelling at us because she thought we were up to no good.
Starting point is 00:26:49 Lol. Glad to hear he's alive, though. Huh. Well, I missed that guy on the way out, so I guess his girlfriend must have dragged him out of there at some point. What's interesting about that is there was like three or four couples at our show, and one of them was black. So I wonder if this is
Starting point is 00:27:05 The black cover That found the sleeping guy And then it was like A little bit of racism You know Cause they saw the black guy Approaching the white gentleman And they thought
Starting point is 00:27:13 Something about Well that's not Anyway No racism at our shows Okay You wanna do a problem first I'll do a problem Dick Go for it
Starting point is 00:27:21 This week Dick Been thinking about this problem It's a problem that's affected me In my life and fills me with anxiety and sometimes a sadness. Okay. That problem is bad blood. Oh. Now, bad blood, as I would define it, is when you know various people in your life, people you care about, acquaintances, whatever else.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Right. And you just kind of want everybody to be, like, cool, you know? Like, everybody, you don't got to love everybody, but, you know, you want to be able to be like, hey, I'm hanging out with Todd, and Steve goes, oh, that's cool, I love Todd, you guys have fun. Yeah. Hey, I'm hanging out with Steve, and Todd goes, oh, that Steve guy, he's great. You don't want Todd and Steve to hate the shit out of each other.
Starting point is 00:28:03 You used his real name, but you didn't use Todd's real name? Well, I just used Steve as a random. There's a lot of Steves. I wasn't thinking of Steven, of course. I think of him as destiny. And then, you know, you get guys and they go, well, why would you hang out with him? I hate that guy. Oh, yeah. And it creates a lot of
Starting point is 00:28:20 awkward situations. And I seem to run into that in my personal and professional life in a number of places. Like where? Well... I have certain... I mean,
Starting point is 00:28:38 I was all like, you know, I like Destiny. I was all excited to get him on the show. That's a big mistake. You know the biggest victim of that is I feel so bad for my wife. Oh, really? You're running that with her? Because she's in Twitch and in those communities, and damn, if you think being friends with me is bad, try being fucking
Starting point is 00:28:53 married to me. I can't imagine. Yeah, you should. Oh my god. And she, um, yeah, dude, there are so many people that just fucking hate her right out the gate just because, like, Jesus. Well, I think we run into a lot of that On this show It's like you know I'd love to have
Starting point is 00:29:07 Chrissy Mayer Come on sometime Sure Cause we're friends Yeah why not We're friends with Josh Didn't you get in a fight With her or something
Starting point is 00:29:14 Yeah well that's the thing But like I'm willing To bury that hat shit You know Cause Josh Denny Is friends with her Don't refer to her In those sexist terms
Starting point is 00:29:21 Well I don't wanna bury her But I'm saying You know it's sad that Josh is friends with her And then apparently it's awkward that they go Well that guy vetoes a pedophile And he goes no no he's great He should go on his podcast I would like to convince Chrissy Mayer
Starting point is 00:29:35 He's literally a pedophile I'm not literally a pedophile And she can come on our comedy podcast Wait wait wait what does that look like What is convincing somebody On a pedophile You do this shit like Here are two kids
Starting point is 00:29:48 Yeah you got a lady You're both gonna sit on one knee The electrodes You're free to check my boner At any time I'm not even close To sexually excited I won't even wear pants
Starting point is 00:29:55 So you can observe the boner At any time Sit the kids down Do you ever wind up In a situation You saw the video of the guy That walks up to the black dude Who's the salesman,
Starting point is 00:30:05 and he's like, hey, we're here to, you know, we talked to your neighbors, but he says the N-word. Do you ever think you've got the kids there, and you're thinking, like, don't get a boner, don't get a boner? I wouldn't even have to think it, because it wouldn't happen. Can you get certified by, like, the city by doing that? I think there should be a city, a non-pedophile certified. We should start that, there should be. No, we are not Starting that No I'm gonna start
Starting point is 00:30:26 The deep pedophile Certification So you go I have a certificate Don't call it deep pedophiling What do I call it then Not pedophile Again
Starting point is 00:30:34 Welcome to Not Pedo The organization That will 100% Scientifically determine Whether or not You're a pedophile This is a Nathan For you lost episode
Starting point is 00:30:43 It really is On your twitter account Instead of getting The check mark If you don't Everyone thinks whether or not you're a pedophile. This is a Nathan for you lost episode. It really is. On your Twitter account, instead of getting the checkmark. If you don't, everyone thinks he's a pedophile. So what I'm going to do. Ten naked children. And then on Twitter, you get a little verified badge that says you don't touch kids. You never would. And you don't want to.
Starting point is 00:31:01 And you don't want to. That's the most important part of it. If she hears this now, she's definitely going to know you're not a pedophile, okay? Like, who would even suggest such an idea? I'm just saying. If they were just so sure. Now I want one of their guys, one of their close friends to be a pedophile. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:19 So that I can shove it in their face, you know? Oh, no. Right? He's doing the test, but somebody else pops a boner on the show. Yeah, and I don't like that they put that idea in my head. Like, now I'm rooting for kids to get molested. I don't know if that's what you want to be admitting to rooting on the show. Nah.
Starting point is 00:31:36 Are we on DLive right now? Where does this show go out to? Yeah, we're raking in lemons, right? We're on Cozy TV, actually. Oh, gotcha. Okay, okay, all right. I. Oh, gotcha. Okay, okay. All right. I just think, especially with the internet,
Starting point is 00:31:48 it seems like there's a lot of bad blood in these communities. You're talking about Destiny, though. Yeah, you can say that. What about your war with Eric July? That's like the most bad blood anybody could have ever made. Yeah, but like, you're right. Well, That's complicated By the way
Starting point is 00:32:05 This house that we're in right now Is paid for by Bad Blood I know it is Well that's the thing You're You legendarily have bad blood But like
Starting point is 00:32:12 I feel like Bad Blood It should be like Just between those people Like it doesn't Oh, it affects you It shouldn't extend out To be like
Starting point is 00:32:21 Casting You know Like I would never tell you you can't hang out with X and X or whatever else. You can tell me that, I don't care. Yeah, but you're not going to do it. Probably not. No. But no, that's true. Listen. Unless I want to cancel plans.
Starting point is 00:32:36 Yeah, you want to hang out with somebody. I can't have lunch with you in Culver City today. People expect you to do that though. People will do shit like that. I don't want you to hang out with that guy. Okay, you don't have to hang out with us if I, yeah. Yeah. Do you get that? People like constantly requesting you.
Starting point is 00:32:50 I'm the last person anybody would. Because you're so much more famous than I am. Well, and yeah. And because usually I'm the guy that they don't want people hanging out with. I'm usually the one about you. I'm usually the one being like, you hanging out with Destiny? Don't talk to me. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:01 Really? Really? You fuck off. Get the fuck out of here. That was the fakest. Well, I don you fuck off fuck out of you. That was the fake No shot not I Mean I guess I get it cuz you know you are like, you know You've probably amassed a ton of enemies at this point, but we all go back and but I'm not
Starting point is 00:33:18 I don't think it was like Nazi ish, you know, like to the point where I'm like gonna be like, oh yeah But some people like don't even him being on the show is like yeah toxic can't I mean I don't even know what it's called I know you guys have words for this shit. I'm just gonna say after this segment It's not helping the pedophile allegations against me I will say that and the Nazi shit actually true, but there's pedophile allegations against everybody. There's a whole other thing Yeah, it's like it's like the new me too right everybody's me too and everybody you can't find the male rapist anymore Pedophiles may be among us. No it's great great. No, no. Because everybody's a pedophile. Me three. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:33:47 It's a great time to be a pedophile. You can just go, what? What? Because I wear Balenciaga? When I tell you upstairs, I tell you upstairs, they will stick on him. I'm not saying that I am. I'm saying other pedophiles are thinking that. Yeah, yeah. Do you have any kids?
Starting point is 00:34:03 No. Oh, damn. Someday I'll find some. I can imagine your three-year-old. That's not a BDSM outfit. It's a... Anyway. Are you going to adopt? You want to adopt kids, though, right? No, no.
Starting point is 00:34:13 I want all my own kids. Well, for him, it would be adopting. I think they call it trafficking. Trafficking. You don't want to traffic children. You're going to make a bunch of kids with a very beautiful woman. It's going to be great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:22 What kind of bad-blo blood are you talking about specifically? Well, I mean, I started thinking about it on this show because I was excited we got Destiny. And I was like, I wonder what my friend Mr. Girl will say. Oh, no. You got to look him in the eyes while you're doing him like this. No, but I'm not doing him like that because I think this is an example.
Starting point is 00:34:41 Is he doing me or Mr. Girl right now? I don't know who's getting done. I don't think anyone's getting done. I think actually this is an example Is he doing me or Mr. Girl right now? I don't know who's getting done I don't think anyone's getting done I think actually this is an example of how it should go Because I think we can I can Is this like a sit down? Like an Italian mafia
Starting point is 00:34:53 Shake down right now? No like a sit down Now I'm starting to wonder Is he going to walk through that door? Is that what we're doing? We're not doing any gotchas on the show Surprise That'd be funny as fuck though
Starting point is 00:35:04 Well I am famously known. I think I introduced Mr. Girl to Dick's show and to his audience. Yeah. Because I've been a big fan. And I guess I'm also disappointed because I really liked when you guys found each other. I was like, this is exciting. Yeah. And I'm sad that bad blood has occurred.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Let's not rewrite history. We didn't find each other. Okay. Okay. I pulled him up from the! You lifted him up! The nothingness and I endowed on him a career. Let's be clear there. Yeah, well that's why I'm sad that it's uh, it's ended in what feels like-
Starting point is 00:35:35 Did you identify him as an abuse victim? Is that why you pulled him up like that? I did, I felt bad. No, his content is good. I'll be clear. It is- he is good. I hope that once he's done with his obsession over finding my hypothetical rape victims that uh Hopefully he goes back to making thought-provoking and interesting content. See that's the thing is that he makes such great videos. He does. And even you will say that. Although I'll say it, I look at him a little bit differently now.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I know you do and that's what makes me, that's why this is a problem for me. I'll watch videos and I'll be, man you know if any other person said that. If anybody else said that I'd have some weird thoughts videos and I'll be, man, you know, if any other person said that. If anybody else said that, I'd have some weird thoughts about it. But it's Max, you know? And now it's like, oh, fuck. Yeah. Like, there's still a part of me that, like, secretly hopes that it's just going to, like, wash away and everything's going to be fine.
Starting point is 00:36:18 But I don't think it's going to happen. Hard to wash this one away. It's going to be hard to wash this one away. But I've got exes who, I have an ex-girlfriend, she lives in Sweden, she has a whole family now, and she's DMing me and she's like, hey, just curious. And I'm like, did you get a message from Mr. Curly? Oh, no! And I'm like, and I'm like, and that's the, that was the most, and I'll get like professional contacts from like 10 years ago.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Yeah. He's like, like decent, do you know who Hafu, like big, like decent sized industry figures in like these worlds. And I'm like, hey, do you know who this guy is? He's contacting me saying you have a pattern of abuse with women. And I'm like, okay, listen, okay? It sounds bad, but. I'm not happy that this is what's happened because I was so excited at the outset. I'm like, this is a great.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Do you agree with it? All like the power differential shit? I don't know what's going on and I'm staying out of it. Wow. And that's my line. There he is. Yeah, that busted Tim Poole today. Yeah, you know what? He won't say who it is. Let fence sitter. And that's my line. There he is. Yeah, that busted Tim Poulton. Yeah, you know what?
Starting point is 00:37:05 He won't say who it is. Let's walk. Let's walk. But that's, but like, what am I supposed to do? What is my moral obligation when he's my friend?
Starting point is 00:37:13 Like, am I? Have you guys eaten dinner before? Yes. We went to high school together. Oh yeah, they've known each other. They've known each other
Starting point is 00:37:20 I've known him my entire life. Holy shit. You might be farming my shit right now for a condom shit You might be farming My shit right now For a condom You might be part of The investigation I know I was on
Starting point is 00:37:29 Fucking trial right here I'm from the dick mansion You're not on trial Can we erase the trial part That we talked about earlier No nothing is happening It's going straight to the cloud You can't erase it
Starting point is 00:37:37 It's like Milo's high time I emailed you at the outset And I said I'm so happy You're talking to him I don't know if you remember This one email Where it said Because I think he's so talented I'm so excited To see him get a break And then I'm so happy you're talking to him. I don't know if you remember this one email where he said, because I think he's so talented, I'm so excited to see him get a break.
Starting point is 00:37:47 And then I'm sad that this is happening. Well, it is exciting. Yeah. But don't think this is like a gotcha on you. It's okay. It's all good. I've been set up before. It is funny what he's doing.
Starting point is 00:37:57 No offense. See, that's the problem. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but it is funny. It is funny when he's like adding Rowan Farrow. It is pretty funny. It is pretty funny. Some of it. I see the humor in that. That but it is funny. It is funny when he's like, adding Rowan Farrow. It is pretty funny. It is pretty funny. Some of it.
Starting point is 00:38:06 I see the humor in that. That's a little funny. There is a girl, God bless her, because I'm cool with everybody now, Ari Nina, OnlyFans girl. Oh. And she sends me a message
Starting point is 00:38:16 from her OnlyFans messages, and I guess he subscribed. So it's like the automated message. It's like, if you want to see my titty, $4 here, and then beneath it, he it he's like hello this is the only way I contact you my name is mr. girl and I'm an abuse victim and I'm like so I guess what I'm saying is that we invited here call my kids mom and I'm like I need you
Starting point is 00:38:40 to check Nathan's account so Are there any messages in there? That's abuse victim shit. I have not brought you here to throw you under the bus or confront you or anything weird. I didn't even brought you here. What? I said, well, whatever. I'm just saying, I'm clarifying. This is not a weird gotcha or whatever. You're like a raw nerve.
Starting point is 00:39:00 No one would ever believe that you set anybody up for anything. This is not the only bad blood situation that's going on. It's just one that... Just the one you had in mind when you chose this topic. When I originally came up with it, when I was thinking about... Well, Destiny and I had bad blood at one point. Yeah, I think so. Well, we've talked about it on this show. We've talked about it, and I've said I'm really not happy that this is what
Starting point is 00:39:18 has happened. And uh... Yeah. I wish there was a way to turn it back and have everybody be friends again, but obviously it can't happen. You and I? Yeah, what was it over? The first time... Trump.
Starting point is 00:39:29 You called Trump a racist, and I was like, uh... Yeah, you guys had bad blood, that's true. But then we were on PKA. Dude, I... Listen. We got parent-trapped. I love the PKA guys, okay? They're great.
Starting point is 00:39:42 The show with you was really fun. Yeah. But I hate the format that there's no topic list. Yeah. Because I'll have, I think I've had two really good shows where it's been fun. A lot of people say that. Yeah, but then sometimes I go on and there's nothing for me to engage on and I'm like, I don't know what the fuck I'm-
Starting point is 00:39:53 I don't know about TV. I don't know about MMA. Like, I just know fucking nothing. It's like the hockey talk and I'm like, okay. I don't know, guys. On the Sega a long time ago, I played one where you could fight with the sticks and that's about all I know. NHL 95.
Starting point is 00:40:05 Yeah. And then I just get drunker because I don't know what they. On the Sega a long time ago, I played one where you could fight with the sticks, and that's about all I remember. NHL 95. And then I just get drunker because I don't know what they're talking about, and I make such an ass of myself. I've never gone on PQ. I was supposed to go on at some point. Oh, no. Who's the guy that we had on? Taylor. Taylor. You got to talk to Chizrag.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Chizrag is there. Chizrag. Chizrag. Yeah. Okay, well well that's Regardless it has been A detriment in my life There's other people
Starting point is 00:40:29 Who I won't name Who have told me Which streamer shows I'm allowed to appear on If I want to remain Their friend Okay hold on You should have named
Starting point is 00:40:36 The people Wait who Name who I can't cause like They don't want I like How many friends Does he fucking have
Starting point is 00:40:42 No offense But are there so many Big streamers Destiny no offense taken Who What there so many big snow? destiny no offense taken The other B and C Lister podcast Yeah, you did and I was listening right now. He knows your reference No, if I say it, he'll tell me and I'll yell at me cuz I don't know I can't imagine tiptoeing around friends like that and I would kill myself if I had to think about the only guy
Starting point is 00:41:04 I'm afraid somebody yelling at you. He's the only guy- Why are you so afraid of somebody yelling at you? He's the only guy I do it for. Okay. Because- Wow, so it's just one. What the fuck? You're exclusive to- I have loyalty to that guy.
Starting point is 00:41:14 I mean if you really- Not really though, cause you hinted at it a little bit, so now people are gonna guess. If you really said to me, don't go on somebody else's show, I wouldn't do it. Jesus. Somebody else's show? But I would hate it, cause I don't like these somebody else's show, I wouldn't do it. Jesus. Somebody else's show. But I would hate it. And I, cause I don't like these bad blood situations. Okay. You're just very sensitive, man. Well, there are certain, you know, like if you are like sincerely feuding with someone and
Starting point is 00:41:35 I'm your co-host, like it doesn't make sense from a business perspective. Like Howard Stern doesn't let his guys go on Jay Leno. Like that makes sense. I think it depends on the type of feud. Yeah. Like, if it's over some dumb internet shit, then whatever. I almost blacklisted... Or a woman. Well, depends. If somebody, like, stole your wife.
Starting point is 00:41:57 It'd probably be more serious. It'd be upsetting. Yeah. Yeah. But, like, if it's... Like, I almost blacklisted Max and Lav for a while, where I wouldn't be on any show, or I blacklist anybody had anything to do with them because he Was like digging into my fucking personal. That's fucking weird, but I eventually I changed my mind like fuck it
Starting point is 00:42:12 Whatever, but like I could see for some crazy things. That's noble of you though to do that. That was a noble of what? Well it's noble to say I understand that you other streamers have to exist and I can't police everybody who has whatever on them. Oh no hold on, hold on. It's because I stopped caring. It's not because I'm noble. Alright! Streamers have to exist, and I can't police everybody who has whatever on them. Hold on. It's because I stopped caring. It's not because I'm noble. All right. Please, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:42:30 Don't mistake that for charity or care, because I would absolutely fuck over other streamers. This is my personal shit, okay? Let's be real, okay? You don't have a right to my platform, okay? Well, not to your platform, but to their... Yeah, I get it. I get it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:42:44 All right. Here's how you, in bad blood, like, just say like whatever i don't care yeah true i want more mr go could do that i want more he's be like you know what i but there is like i think it's when life ruination is going on that i understand people setting boundaries when people feel that their lives are you know like their own lives Not other people's lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I run on those scenarios. Okay. Either way, Chrissy Mara, come on, biggest problem. Let's bury the hatchet.
Starting point is 00:43:13 Maybe I'm the pedophile. You and your stupid... Maybe you had it wrong the whole time, you dumb bitch. Okay, go ahead, Destiny. Do you have a problem? My biggest problem is Elon Musk. For a variety of reasons, okay? Number one, and really this is the only reason,
Starting point is 00:43:29 is because he hasn't unbanned me yet from Twitter. Bro. I'm seeing people getting unbanned from like the fucking- All three of us. The Fourth Reich, okay? I'm seeing people get un- Like fucking Stefan Molyneux is getting unbanned, okay? Sargon of Akkad is getting-
Starting point is 00:43:42 And I'm seeing these people, I'm like, what the fuck? I was banned- I don't even know what the fuck I was banned for But it was the most innocuous shit in the world And these guys are back on the platform saying some wild Fucking shit and he's replying to that He is he's in the reply What the fuck is with you a fan of these idiots
Starting point is 00:43:54 He's gotta get to us eventually though right But I will 100% rescind that opinion Elon Which camera is mine please I need to be on twitter As soon as he announced that amnesty shit I logged into all 8 of my twitter accounts Elon, which camera is mine? Please, please unban. I need to be on Twitter. Dude, as soon as he announced that amnesty shit, I logged into all eight of my Twitter accounts and I did an appeal on every fucking Twitter account, and every day I wake up and I've got two more denials
Starting point is 00:44:14 and I'm like, oh no. What is he doing? How is he not unbanning everybody? They don't even change the denial boilerplate. I know, it's the same. I'm like, come on, can't you say we're working on it or something? There's one fucking guy at Twitter that fucking hates me. I know he sits in that fucking office and he's waiting for, it's his job. He's the Destiny Hall monitor. Yeah. And he's waiting for him to come in and he catches him.
Starting point is 00:44:31 He gets those tickets before anybody else and he fucking denies it. I swear to God it's personal. It absolutely is. I know it is. Because my suspension reason has been upgraded every year to like something worse. Like it started out with just like being being like violence or some retarded shit. You know, I told Chris Reagan to eat a cinder block during an argument. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Whatever. And then it's gone from that to like. It's not violent. He could cook it. You know, you can eat cinder blocks. Yeah. It's a boil it down. It's been upgraded to like hating a specific group.
Starting point is 00:45:02 Okay. And it's all, it's like all these groups and gendered and disabled people and all this is like what mine is like managing multiple Twitter accounts for abuse of her like I'm the fucking Twitter mafia or some shit right and this guy they catch me they're really good with their like you know Elon was like you can only stay if you've written like fucking 20 lines of code this guy is probably committed like 200 changes to the Twitter code base just to catch my fucking alternate accounts.
Starting point is 00:45:25 I swear to fucking God. Jesus. And now he's declaring war on Apple, but when he said that I was like, wait, wait, wait, come back, let's get this account unbanning thing. All the conservative guys are like, yeah, yeah, now we're fucking like, no, no, no, no, no, get your ass
Starting point is 00:45:42 back here and unban these fucking accounts accounts you asshole Everybody else got in except us We're like the guys in the plane and the dark night rises where he goes to take off and he's like they expect to find one of us in the wreckage It is like we're like pre Cambrian Cambrian bands So we're like I'm emailing you from Android. Okay, please unban me. I hate Apple too. Yeah It is watching all of my
Starting point is 00:46:05 Political enemies being unbanned Resurrected Guys who I know are just like Ensler And I'm like I said something stupid About the fucking like The Snow White movie that's coming out Somebody was like do you think they'll put Like a real midget in it
Starting point is 00:46:21 I'm like no because they're not going to have a retarded Dwarf in the movie they're not going to put Dopey in the movie And they're like you said retarded You're not allowed I'm like, no, because they're not going to have a retarded dwarf in the movie. They're not going to put Dopey in the movie. They're like, you said retarded. I'm like, I was talking about Disney. They wouldn't put a retarded guy in the movie. I meant it. I didn't mean like in a bad way. I also, two and three, they go together.
Starting point is 00:46:38 Another reason why Elon is the biggest problem is because he inspires the most ridiculously rabid fanboys and the most just unbelievably stupid haters on both sides. Yeah. To some people, he's the second coming of Jesus
Starting point is 00:46:52 and to others, he's the second coming of Hitler. And it's so fucking annoying watching these people battle each other online. It's so fucking stupid. I've heard people say like he's the most brilliant
Starting point is 00:47:00 inventor of our time. I'm like, well, wait, what? I will give him credit for SpaceX and Tesla, which are big. How instrumental is he to those, though? SpaceX is like rockets, but more.
Starting point is 00:47:12 Well, listen, they come back. But he's not doing it. They come back! What is it? They come back! Don't tell me! We already had a space shuttle! What do you mean? You're fucking lying to me. If you didn't watch that fucking rocket land back the first time, you'd first time like that's fucking cool
Starting point is 00:47:26 I watched it once I watched yay walk out of tin pool seven times so far But he didn't come back Elon made the rocket come back I like rockets that don't come back I guess I like rockets that don't come back It lands it's cool Okay so he gets props for that and Tesla everything he said about Tesla was a monumentally stupid idea.
Starting point is 00:47:48 I'm going to have so many charging stations across the U.S. People will be able to drive my fucking car. And the deal that he made with that board was like, if I 100x the value of this company, I get a big... It was like the dumbest shit, and it all fucking worked out somehow. He did, he like 100x the value of the company. Not everything is worked out for him. Not company. Not everything is worth that far. Not everything. Not everything.
Starting point is 00:48:07 Maybe he's... But a good amount. What did you think when he said, what's this country going to look like in 88 years? Why did he say that? Why? Because I don't know what to think. It's like he's trying to get on Ye's presidential candidate team or whatever the fuck. Is that purposeful or did he just hit the keyboard and pick some random numbers? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:48:24 It's because the article he was replying to said 88 million years. That little monkey. Yeah. There was a little monkey and they said it had evolved for 88 million years on its own. There was a reason for that number. Yeah, it was in Hitler. Because I did see, you're right, the haters are crazy where they all go, well, he's definitely talking about Hitler. And I'm like, I don't think I can Conclude that Based solely on the
Starting point is 00:48:47 Number 88 So there was an article Your point about His reply guy thing Is dead on Like he He turns He will turn
Starting point is 00:48:56 Even the most Like anyone Into this simpering Like begging Fan of his Who's like Pretends to be It's like watching guys at like uh like a high
Starting point is 00:49:06 school soccer game when their kids not or a high school football game when their kids not playing football and they're like going over to the dad whose like son is playing and they're like well hey so you know you know what i mean because you know this at this this culture they're like oh yeah you know he's really out there like uh he's really got critical athlete out there like that's the that's the feeling of cringe I get watching, like, you know, the internet fanboys go to bed.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Yeah. I think what's happening and probably why he wants Trump unbanned is that he's now the new proxy for Trump on that platform.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Yeah. Because there are guys whose entire profession is, or at least it was, that the second Trump tweets anything, they were trying to be the first guy to reply.
Starting point is 00:49:45 Yeah. And there's some very unintelligent guys who made entire careers out of this. There's this one guy, David Levitt. I don't know if you've ever seen that guy. No. Has made a career out of just putting his foot in his mouth. He famously, after Ariana Grande's concert, got shot up, was making Starbucks jokes, being like, I thought an Ariana Grande shooting was what she got at a Starbucks.
Starting point is 00:50:07 And I was like, those people just died like 15 minutes ago. Yeah, he's like the dumbest idiot ever, but he's managed to get like half a million followers just by every time Trump posts anything. He goes, you're a disgrace to this country. I might know the account. Is he the one where after Trump got banned, he tweeted like, what am I going to do now? And there was like 5,000 He's the guy who took a picture of a Target employee Because she wouldn't sell him a toothbrush for a penny
Starting point is 00:50:30 He went to a Target and was like This toothbrush is a penny because that's what the code they put When it means like put this toothbrush back In stock We're no longer selling it And he's like everyone shame this 16 year old Whatever the fuck I only knew him because we used to compete for Magic the Gathering coverage 10 years ago.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Jesus Christ. So I've been following his storied career. Sounds like a little bit of bad blood. There's a little bit of bad blood, me and David Leavitt. Yeah, see, you're the— You used to get the scoops. That's great, man. Everybody needs to have enemies.
Starting point is 00:51:00 He wrote for— Look, I agree everybody needs enemies, and I have plenty of enemies. If I get back on Twitter and I retweet that guy, will you let me on this show? Yes, yes, yes. What if I say he gave better Magic the Gathering coverage? No, abso-fucking-lutely not. His coverage was dog shit. He didn't know anything about Worldwake or Zendikar.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Oh my god. Anyway... What's going to be your first tweet when you're back? If you're back. N. That's mine. That's mine. The full word.
Starting point is 00:51:26 I'm going N down. I'm going, you know what? Free speech is alive. Let's see it. I thought about it. See, if I get unbanned, I've got like eight accounts that are all going to get unbanned. And it's just going to be- Are you going to use the other ones?
Starting point is 00:51:35 Because I got that same thing too. I'm going to pick like a different- The goal is, first, I'm going to change all the phone numbers and emails on all of them so they're not linked together anymore. And when I'm fighting with different minorities, I'll use a different account for different minorities. So this is for fighting with trans people, this is for fighting with black people, and I'll see which one
Starting point is 00:51:51 gets banned, so I can find out where the powers that be are. Are you going to explicitly label them like Destiny Black, Destiny Trans, Destiny Chinese? I'll probably figure out like Mao's A Destiny will be the anti-Chinese one. There you go CCCP, Destiny
Starting point is 00:52:07 That's fun I do like that Elon Musk used like Government subsidies to buy The CIA's PSYOP machine Away from them And use it for like his own nefarious Purposes Like Twitter
Starting point is 00:52:22 Yeah like he got all that money All that billions of dollars You mean buying Twitter Was the CIA's Child machine Okay Yeah Their brainwashing machine
Starting point is 00:52:31 I'm not following the Latest deep lore No no Like he used all the Like the government money And subsidies and shit To buy Twitter from them Like none of that money's real
Starting point is 00:52:40 Anyway It's all like fake money You know Sure Now he has it and I'm like well fuck I don't know
Starting point is 00:52:46 I don't know if Twitter is going to become better or worse under Elon Musk's leadership but if he bans me and you and you
Starting point is 00:52:54 then he's based at AF I think the scary thing about Elon Musk is a lot of meme power behind the stocks of his companies but like
Starting point is 00:53:01 if he tweets shit or smokes a joint on Joe Rogan like stock prices go up and down Yeah, but with Tesla and SpaceX there's real Fundamental value to the company Tesla makes cars there's power manufacturing plants and for SpaceX They've got rockets that come back to earth right there's real shit there
Starting point is 00:53:15 But with Twitter I think he has the ability to drive that into the ground more than he realizes Drive what drive the value of Twitter the actual yeah the IP that like Twitter like SpaceX and Tesla never gonna going to become worthless. It's not possible. Twitter could have a viable product. Twitter could be replaced. It's a social media platform, you know? Yeah, it's not anything like how we saw it as like a news aggregator. Like why own one newspaper
Starting point is 00:53:37 when you can just own all of them? Sure. Like you can own the funnel for the filter for all of the newspapers. No, it's a way to trick celebrities into interacting with the public and letting you shit on them. Assuming celebrities ever actually tweet from their accounts. I fought with James Gunn once. Did you? Yeah, I said he fell off.
Starting point is 00:53:54 Because he was apologizing for all his old jokes. He had to because Cernovich got him fucking picked off. Cancel culture for the Galaxy 2. Jesus. Okay, that's my problem as conservatives. Boom. So brave. Oh, my God. Thank you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you.
Starting point is 00:54:05 I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you guys. I feel like it's the 90s all over again. And like, they don't, like, they're younger. They haven't changed at all. They haven't changed at all, and they're younger now.
Starting point is 00:54:34 It's like, how did you grow up? How did you come from nothing and come to the same stupid conclusions that other people's parents, that liberals' parents did in the fucking 90s? Yeah, Jesus. How did this happen? I saw on Twitter today a guy post a screenshot from a Disney Plus show where children were holding up letters to spell Santa, but they had mixed it up and it spelled Satan. And he goes, are we seriously showing this to our kids? And I'm like, what the?
Starting point is 00:55:02 First of all, he said, if you don't think this is deliberate, there's something wrong with you and you're like, Yes, it's deliberate for the sake of the joke, you fucking idiot. Yes, it's deliberate for the sake of the fucking comedy show! You imbecile! If you think this is a mistake from Disney, you're dead wrong. And you're like, it's a joke and the Santa Claus thing. It's always the- and it's the stupidest fucking cons- no, no offense, it's for the Valencia shit too, okay? Yes. Where people are thinking like- I think that is retarded! It was dumb of them to do it, but people are thinking that behind the scenes, there's like this a lot- like we're gonna signal to pedos and Satanists in like the perfect fucking way, okay? We're gonna get this costume and it's like, bro,
Starting point is 00:55:34 there's probably somebody that thought of some dumb edgy fucking joke, or some fucking inspired by some stupid fucking book and they did a thing. I don't think they're secretly signaling fucking pedophiles. And you guys are showing everybody it. Yeah, like- You guys are doing it not them Like they tell me they're like this is gonna I'm like what what do you mean that was my that was actually exactly my question earlier So let's say that they don't point it out. Let's say the conservatives don't expose the hidden
Starting point is 00:56:02 Zooming in on the text are looking at the costumes Like god I wanna fuck a kid right now I'm just I'm feeling They're communicating the idea Exactly what I wanted to fucking see But that's what they've always believed Cause they believe that with music They believed
Starting point is 00:56:13 If you listened to heavy metal Or whatever the hell Yes That there were secret messages For play Dungeons and Dragons That would turn your kids Into Satanists Yeah
Starting point is 00:56:20 And you're like This is not how the real world works When did the switch happen with rock though Cause now when I turn on the radio and I hear rock That's the intro to every fucking conservative program Fucking hippie metal guys in the fucking world. Yeah, I don't know welcome to the deep state podcast Yeah, so you guys all love it now here's Metallica Yeah, here's Metallica exactly Trump wants to murder drug dealers. None of them batted an eye.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Like, what are you... Trump wants to make it illegal to burn the flag. They're all minorities, number one. Yeah. Well, we shouldn't burn the flag. We shouldn't burn the flag? We should. Oh, yeah, shouldn't. Yeah, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:56:55 I'm sorry. I misheard you. But we also should not kill drug dealers. Yeah. What was the other one? I remember the... He said so many crazy... We're going to kill the families of terrorists?
Starting point is 00:57:06 So pretty off the wall. Well, I mean, if your daughter commits an act of terror. Oh, cool. I say that on all of my Twitter accounts. Your account is suspended, not permitted to perform this action. Motherfuckers. Like, I got it. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:57:17 I don't need to see it anymore. This was the Satan one. Jesus Christ. This is from a Disney movie. Do they really want you to think it was an honest mistake? And then some of the replies are, I worked for Disney. They don't make mistakes. This is a purposeful.
Starting point is 00:57:30 And you're like, it's a joke from the Tim Allen Santa Claus TV show. See, because they had silenced all the crazy ones. And only the reasonable ones were around. And honestly, I'm kind of bored of making fun of trans swimmers. Yeah. Like a trans woman swimmer. What about the skateboarders? That's interesting.
Starting point is 00:57:49 Nah, it's just the same thing with a different package. Fair enough. Like, it's gone. I'm just, like, fatigued on the things that conservatives are making fun of. So I hate them now. I mean, it's just exhausting when you're like, can't you just... What are the odds that a Balenciaga or whatever the fuck is like running a secret mind op campaign or B, a photographer fucked around because he thought it was like funny or edgy or stupid. It is edgy.
Starting point is 00:58:16 Yeah, it is edgy in a bad way and it's distasteful and I get it. But like it always leads immediately into, well, that just means Pizzagate's real. And you're like, no, it's not. That's not proof of anything. I saw this one today. This is a man, a grown up man, James Lindsay. You know what? Conceptual James.
Starting point is 00:58:35 I'm not going to make fun of him this one time because he tweeted that I should be on banned from Twitter. All right. I'm going to refrain from this section. A sexual James gets a pass. Thank you. Thank you, James. Let me see if I can bring this in. No bad blood there.
Starting point is 00:58:46 No bad blood here. No bad blood. No bad blood. He's wearing a shirt that looks like a sausage casing around. Obviously, he hasn't been sized his shirt since COVID happened. Pro-America, anti-communist. Does that say based AF? Is that the end of it?
Starting point is 00:59:02 Yeah, and it was so weird seeing this because I was like, oh, I remember you, a conservative from when I was a kid. I fucking hate you. Yeah. Yeah. It's almost as if the conservatives like really fucking suck. I mean, the liberals also suck. That's the problem.
Starting point is 00:59:20 But. The conservatives suck in like a weird, dumb way. Seeing the 50th epic epic hilarious fucking SNL opening Making fun of Trump was getting pretty fucking old Okay Like at some point it's like we need some better material How do you define the difference in that like In what?
Starting point is 00:59:36 I'm like my hatred of conservatives is different from my hatred of liberals It is It is And it's hard to define what that is It's like Why do conservatives It's both stupidity And it's hard to define what that is. It's like, why do conservatives, like, it's both stupidity, but it's different forms of stupidity. I don't know. I hate, like, I hate about liberals when they make me do stuff.
Starting point is 00:59:54 And I hate about conservatives that I can't make them do stuff. Like, I can never make that guy feel bad for wearing that shirt. Okay, give him a shirt. And I should be able to. But everything you say is like, well, you know, my faith in Christ will just believe that I can wear any shirt I want. And I'm like, why the hell would God or Christ have anything to do with your fucking dumb shirt? That's a very good point. It's like arguing with conservatives about them being dumb feels pointless.
Starting point is 01:00:18 It's pointless. But if you argue with a liberal about them being dumb, you know you can hurt their feelings. Yeah, but then they'll never leave you alone. There's so many ways to hurt liberal feelings. But conservatives just own it. Like, you're not educated. I know. Education is for brainwashing.
Starting point is 01:00:33 Yeah, education is gay. Jesus didn't go to college either. True. It's like, okay, well, fuck. I studied in the Church of God. Yeah. That's the only book I need. What did you say about it?
Starting point is 01:00:44 Did you ever read it? No. Have you read a single study in your life? Studies are gay. Yeah. They are gay. That's the problem. Fuck me. It's the brick wall. That's true. It's the inability to get them. You can't get them on anything. No.
Starting point is 01:00:57 I was arguing with some Nazi guy and he's like well what about this? And I'm like well that's a fake article. That's a fake article. You made that up. And he just goes yeah whatever groomer. And I'm like do you, that's a fake article. That's a fake article. You made that up. And he just goes, yeah, whatever groomer. And I'm like, do you not want to like,
Starting point is 01:01:12 do you not want to address the fact that I've given you sources for like all of these being fake and having made up like nosy Steinberg wrote the fucking article. And he's like, no, that's a real guy. I'm sure. Yeah. Nosy Steinberg. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:20 One of the most popular journalists out there. Nosy. Jesus Christ. You're like, you can, you, you know, it's fake. And they just go, yeah, whatever. Call me. Yeah. There's noberg. Yeah, one of the most popular journalists out there. Nosy. Jesus Christ. You're like, you know it's fake. And they just go, yeah, whatever. Call me a guru. Yeah, there's no effort.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Yeah, you'll be like, oh, well, here's something from nature. Here's the New England Journal of Medicine. They'll be like, okay. But have you seen www.vaccinesareforfuckingfake? Like, whatever.com. And it's like, oh, well, you know, fuck me. My bad. I actually missed that in my research.
Starting point is 01:01:43 I'm so sorry. There are some things. I didn't even watch the newsletter. I'm so sorry. There are some things that they have done. Truth or stopping the pedo menace.orgophile. Jesus Christ. Fine, you're right. We all lose. You give them some, check out the seventh fucking pornographic video of Hunter Biden I want to show you. It's like, did you see the last one where he was getting his dick sucked? Yes, yes exactly!
Starting point is 01:02:04 You are obsessed! You think about Hunter Biden's cock more than the fucking prostitutes he fucks does. Holy shit! Uh, their porn obsession is borderline pathological. And it is constant. We gotta get, it's ruining the country. It's ruining the country. It's like, alright man, that's uh, okay. How do you know? Well, it's ruining my life because I'm watching it obsessively.
Starting point is 01:02:27 Yeah, the obsession with porn. Or is it the obsession with the obsession with porn? I'm not sure which is worse at this point. What are you doing while you're ranting about it and, like, getting other guys to rant about it? Like, I don't like, this is weird. I know what's weird and what's not weird, and this is weird. I'd rather be at a furry convention. Yeah, well, they're more fun.
Starting point is 01:02:47 Anyway, that's my problem. Conservatives, they cause the student debt problem that they're always ranting about because we're on drugs. How unpopular are the two people
Starting point is 01:02:59 that led those lawsuits to get the student loan shit stopped? Can you imagine being that? I think it was a woman with one of them, like, hiding, going in and out of cars, and every motherfucker's looking at you with student loans. Like, what?
Starting point is 01:03:12 Like, imagine being their kids. Do they have kids? Why did your mom have to? Why did your mom do that? Why didn't your mom take all that free money away from them? Why didn't you do something about that? Wasn't the PPP loans Like that was fine
Starting point is 01:03:26 The lady who did it Oh yeah The ones that got like Fifty thousand dollars And yeah Jesus Yeah same girl That's wild
Starting point is 01:03:33 I love those though Keep them coming More PPP loans I'm ready for a Reload on that shit I saw You were talking about Getting a PPP loan
Starting point is 01:03:41 And the quartering Said He was like Criticizing you For getting one But didn't he end up He must have gotten them getting a PPP loan and the quartering said he was like criticizing you for getting one but I didn't he ended up he must have gotten them I don't know he was criticizing you know I'm like what the fuck in California I'm pretty sure my taxes are higher than 45% of fucking Europe okay you better fucking believe in the government's gonna give me any of that money back cuz they're obviously
Starting point is 01:04:03 not doing anything with it cuz I still drive by 50 million fucking homeless people every day. I still scrape my bumper coming out of every single fucking gas station. Okay, I got rolling blackouts. I got forest fires everywhere. I'm living in fucking hell over here. And they're taking 48% of my fucking money. You better believe I'm gonna reach with my dying hand to get that $20,000 back from those PPP loads, okay? It's not even real.
Starting point is 01:04:24 They just made numbers in a database. Why would I not take it? What the fuck kind of thinking is that? That's conservative thinking. That's conservative thinking. And I'm supposed to not so that fucking American Airlines can have another $25,000
Starting point is 01:04:40 for their... But they can have that anyway. There's no exhausting imaginary numbers. Anyway, that's my problem, conservatives. I should have that anyway. There's no there's no exhausting imaginary numbers Anyway, that's my problem conservatives. I should have got a PPP loan. You should have fucked up your magic Yeah, you know I could have invested hard, you know What you might invest in it because if it was in a crypto not I'd be boogie right now talking about my blood cancer Wait, oh, no I'm so sorry does he?
Starting point is 01:05:09 No don't What kind of cancer? Pancake cancer It's the good cancer he's fine His obesity will kill him before his cancer His obesity will kill him before his cancer He got cancer from injecting himself with testosterone for his, uh, uh, fatness. Trust me, all the objections to Dick making fun of Boogie's cancer have-
Starting point is 01:05:32 Now see, if it would have been- Why do you have a horn for Boogie's cancer? Like, this is not a good bit. I have a regular horn. Oh my god. But then someone gave me a- someone gave me a fatter horn for Boogie. I don't like that we have a boogie horn. I feel like- If it was fucking leukemia, we could have looped it back around to the bad blood. He doesn't have any bad blood cancer! It's blood cancer!
Starting point is 01:05:53 He has bad blood. It's blood cancer! Boogie has the baddest blood of all. I will say it was funny because I think the last video, it felt like a fucking- like a Tim and Eric skit. I got crypto! I'm rich! I'm a big man! I got $7,000! I'm fucking ready to go! I got a new fucking car!
Starting point is 01:06:14 I'm ready to... Will you shut the fuck up? One year later, you guys, you're not gonna believe this! You're not gonna believe this one! So you know the crypto investments. So anyway. Remember when I wasn't going to kill myself?
Starting point is 01:06:28 Well, update on that scenario. I'm going back to killing myself again. You know, books aren't the only thing with chapters. My favorite line from Clone High. I've watched the first two thirds of the MC Hammer behind the music. And as I've learned, the money never runs out. The money runs out boogie and uh
Starting point is 01:06:47 what do you think about crypto I love it it's hilarious I love watching it's like every fucking every conversation with a libertarian if you follow it long enough involves them rebuilding the government inevitably right how do you resolve disputes between people? Well,
Starting point is 01:07:05 eventually you probably need a third party that you're giving monopoly force over to blah blah blah. And watching the crypto world slowly relearn why it might be a good idea to have some kind of financial protections in place as the 57th massive crypto exchange collapses. Smart contracts will do that.
Starting point is 01:07:21 Shut the fuck up. You're going to scam me? Excuse me. My invoice is on the Ethereum chain, okay? Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's actually digitally protected. It's been peer-reviewed.
Starting point is 01:07:33 It's been audited by Certec. How many white papers have you read, actually? Dick compels all his money out of FTX, but doesn't tell all his buddies to maybe do the same. I don't give investment advice. Oh, all right. Fair enough. I've missed every collapse by. Oh, all right. Fair enough. I missed every collapse by like hours. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:07:48 By like six hours. Voyager, FTX, Celsius. Yeah. Luna, too. Luna was, I lost some in Luna because I was too drunk to do the trade. Yeah, that's true. I didn't get burned too badly. I still got, what, 800 bucks in chain link tied badly I still got what 800 bucks in Chainlink
Starting point is 01:08:06 Tied up on Voyager 800 bucks Yeah You gotta dump in On Chainlink man I had dumped in But then they announced They were whatever withdrawals
Starting point is 01:08:14 And I started pulling Everything out Okay What are our problems Our problems are Bad blood Okay Elon Musk
Starting point is 01:08:21 Elon Musk We didn't get to talk About him enough And There's so much to say Conservatives I don't get to talk About him enough And There's so much to say Conservatives I don't want to Shit on Elon too much
Starting point is 01:08:29 Just in case Word gets back to him You know You know what I'm not going to be Grateful at all If you get on Ben My first tweet's going to be
Starting point is 01:08:35 Fuck you Elon Musk No Fuck your kid That died in your hand No Excuse me It didn't even die In his hands though
Starting point is 01:08:43 It died in his wife's hands And she tweeted Actually it died in my hands So though. It died in his wife's hands, and she tweeted, actually, it died in my hands, so fuck you. What does that matter? I bet there was probably some passive. He probably touched the kid. Like, stolen valor. No, the kid had a little life left in him.
Starting point is 01:08:57 I might as well have died in my hands. Do you think they're there, and they're like, well, I want it to die in my hands. I want it to die in my hands. Like, were they holding you over that? Probably. I mean, you want to well, I want it to die in my hands. I want it to die in my hands. Was there some fighting over that? Probably. I mean, you want to be able to say your kid died in your arms. That's a cool thing to be able to say.
Starting point is 01:09:10 What the fuck? Well, I mean, if your kid's going to die, you want to at least be able to have a cool little story about it. And as I watched the life drain from him, I knew he was ascending to a diamond crystal prison in Quadrant Alpha or whatever the fuck. Or whatever Elon Musk believes. You think he snuck the ashes of that kid on that Tesla that he launched into space? No. Oh, because they don't have ashtrays. They don't have ashtrays.
Starting point is 01:09:36 That's showing your age a lot. I remember every single car had an ashtray. Yeah, and airplanes. Oh, I didn't remember that. You were not around for airplanes having ashtrays. I was around for smoking on airplanes, motherfucker. No, bullshit. Look it up.
Starting point is 01:09:49 That's crazy. All right. You want to hang out for some super chats? Yeah, sure. Is that your good time? All right. Thanks, man. Well, thanks for everybody for coming by.
Starting point is 01:09:56 Don't forget, we got Biggest Problem bonus episodes available at patreon.com slash biggest problem. We just recorded the biggest problem in Christmas. That was so low energy, though. I thought it was good. It was good, but it was very... It's an easy listening. Well, Destiny brought the energy, I think.
Starting point is 01:10:15 Yeah. Wait, this was low energy? No, our bonus episode. Our bonus episode was an easy listen, but if you want to check that out... An easy listen. It's an easy listen. Right? It sounds crappy. It was such a great
Starting point is 01:10:31 Dreams anymore God damn it are you gonna be friends with Nick Fuentes again? Do you think 20? He'll come crawling back Loses interest in his project in like a month or two. He'll be back streaming. I don't think that Ye collaboration is going to stick around. Oh, you know. And I also want to remind people, please vote on the problems at biggestproblem.show.
Starting point is 01:10:57 All of today's problems are available on the leaderboard. Vote them up or down according to your whims. What's one nice thing about Nick Fantas? Participate in the show. One nice thing about Nick Fantas. Yeahate in the show One nice thing about Nick Fuentes Yeah Not like a bad He's loyal to his friends Oh, okay
Starting point is 01:11:08 I love watching him run off the podcast To make sure his good friend I don't know if that was loyalty I think that was Like pure animal terror That was loyalty That was a puppy going Master's running off
Starting point is 01:11:20 Oh You guys are so jealous Both of you Yeah, I'm jealous of Nick Fuentes You are Fuentes Fuentes. Fuentes. Fuentes.
Starting point is 01:11:32 What, like a real compliment, not with a snarky rejoinder. A real compliment. Yeah, about Nick Fuentes. I already said he's got great comedic timing. Not destiny. Well, I'm helping as well. The intros to his show are really cool. There you go. I sat and watched like 30 minutes of him when he was baiting for fucking
Starting point is 01:11:45 yay to be on his dog shit fucking podcast. What does he play for an intro? Like clips? See, that's another intro. You put an insult on to it. Oh, Jesus. Okay. Hold on.
Starting point is 01:11:53 You're really bad. You're really bad at complimenting. You're really bad at this. He's very charismatic. There you go. Okay. All right. For a Nazi.
Starting point is 01:12:03 All right, Tashneet. God damn it. Well, they're the most charismatic. They are the most charismatic. Okay. All right. He is. For a Nazi. All right, Tess. I mean, God damn it. Well, they're the most charismatic. They are the most charismatic. That's the problem. You don't have much else going for you when you're a Nazi. They dress good and they speak well. I don't get why it's like Holocaust denial is like a Nazi thing.
Starting point is 01:12:17 Like that. Wouldn't it be the opposite? What, Holocaust embrace? Would they want to take credit for it? Yeah. It'd be like. Actually, it wasn't six million. We killed 15.
Starting point is 01:12:24 We killed way more than that.? Yeah, they'd be like... Actually, it wasn't six million. We killed 15, god damn it. Yeah, wouldn't it be like... You're forgetting all the trans and all the gays and all the... All right, you're fine. You guys get eight. If you were a Nazi back in the day, it would be like, no, we're not doing that. It's like, get out of here. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:12:38 You're not a Nazi anymore. Okay. What a great show. Koof for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Another great week of being alive. Carafro for 10. Let's go. John Riff for 10. Destiny. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Another great week of being alive. Carafro for ten. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:12:47 John Riff for ten. Destiny, thank you for making Fuentes huge. It's all thanks to you. He had no fans before meeting his biggest fan. Yay. True. Very true. I'm glad I could be the love doctor there.
Starting point is 01:12:57 Hey, man, Sneeko. I got them both connected. Oh, yeah. Sneeko is cool, too. David Gomez for five. Praise Allah. We pray now. But how does Destiny feel about the negative impact illegal immigration has on the black community? We didn't forget to ask you that, too. David Gomez for five. Praise Allah, we pray now. But how does Destiny feel about the negative impact illegal immigration has on the black community?
Starting point is 01:13:07 We didn't forget to ask you that, Destiny. What's the joke? Jesse Lee Peterson. Do you care about the negative effects of illegal immigration on black people? What a question. See, he does so many famous appearances that he doesn't even remember his famous appearances. That's a deep cut. Seth Schott, inshallah.
Starting point is 01:13:27 I don't know if we're doing a call to prayer today, guys. David Gomez for two. I'm starting. Hashtag release all the stand-up. I am editing it together now. The live show, we did stand-up. Okay. And we're going to put it on there.
Starting point is 01:13:39 Axel Suave for two. Release the stand-up. Cameron's content up for five. Release all the stand-up. Axel Suave. Not Suave stand-up. Axel Suave. Not Swayve. Swayve. Axel Swayve.
Starting point is 01:13:50 What did I say? Swayve. Swayve. Close enough. Swayve. Swayve. I got there. Go up.
Starting point is 01:13:56 I got it. Axel Suave again for ten. Release all the stand-up. All right. Jared Wickersham for ten. Release all the stand-up. Those comics didn't want their jokes to die. They shouldn't have told them.
Starting point is 01:14:07 I don't know if I... Do you know this thing with stand-up comedians? You're not supposed to post their material because then you're burning it because then they might do a show later and somebody heard the joke they already did. I can kind of understand that, but damn, in the world of cell phones, that feels inevitable. Yes. Like you would have to collect phones at the door to keep that show. This is why stand-up is dying.
Starting point is 01:14:23 Which Chappelle did and it was awesome. I went to Chappelle at the Hollywood Bowl and and they give you, like, little bags that were magnetically sealed. But these lower-end comics. They made the show so much better. I don't know. They've got to get over it. Evil Fossil for a big 55-55 says, Destiny is my candidate with a happy face thing.
Starting point is 01:14:43 Nice. Cosmic Doggeran for two. Dick loves laughter slaughter. And he used those things to spell them together. Evil Fossil for 1111. Happy face. Dwab Winkle for 20. Don't catch you guys live enough, but you guys are great.
Starting point is 01:14:57 Remember to give half of this to Mr. Girl. Not happening. Not going to happen. Mr. Drunko for five. Very cool hat, Vito. Thank you. I have my Mega Man hat Shut up
Starting point is 01:15:07 I just needed a hat It's a good hat Butthole Weeb for two Tell the LAPD That Masterson Eats Mealy B-hole Butthole Okay
Starting point is 01:15:15 Helios for five My three favorite men A hippie A Factorio YouTuber And a cat PETA Wonderful Riley for 50 Vito you should really wrestle
Starting point is 01:15:25 Tony from Hack the Movies While you are both Still in your prime Oh that was from Mint Salad We love Mint Thank you Mint Kyle Baxter for 5 You should
Starting point is 01:15:32 What do you think about Wrestling Tony from Hack the Movies I'm not wrestling Tony From Hack the Movies What about wrestling anybody You just proposed that I could maybe be talked Into a wrestling promotion
Starting point is 01:15:39 So Ralph is doing This Wrestlemania Ralph-a-mania Ralph-a-mania Are they What are they Don't act like it's not A perfect portmanteau Alright Ralph-a-mania Ralph-a-mania. Ralph-a-mania. Are they, what are they? Don't act like it's not a perfect portmanteau. What is Ralph-a-mania?
Starting point is 01:15:48 Ralph-a-mania is good. What are they going to be doing? Is it like a real wrestling match? Well, when you say real, like, because real wrestling is scripted, are they going to? Well, it's quasi-scripted. Like, there's going to be like, I think he's teaming up with like an amateur wrestling league or like a single Single A ball wrestling league And then he's gonna work in bits
Starting point is 01:16:09 For the show like Alex Stein is wrestling A woman or something like that I think there is an element Of Ralphamania In it but it's being He's paying guys to dress up like heels Like the scary Israeli And they'll come
Starting point is 01:16:25 You know Oh I don't know I'm just guessing I don't know I don't know if someone's Gonna like break their neck I know it's legit I might break my neck
Starting point is 01:16:32 You're not gonna wrestle Are you wrestling Well I You're just gonna You'll probably get roped into it I feel like you've suffered So many injuries Over the past couple years
Starting point is 01:16:41 I think it's gonna be A bunch of amateur guys And they're all gonna end up dead And uh Hey We can ask for a better show Yeah You're not gonna buy a ticket Over the past couple years I think it's going to be A bunch of amateur guys And they're all going to end up dead And Hey We can ask for a better show You're not going to buy a ticket To watch Maybe Kanye will be there
Starting point is 01:16:50 Is Ralph going to wrestle Or is he going to commentate He's going to commentate I don't think he's going to wrestle I hope not I don't know I do want to see the lineup Kyle Baxter for five
Starting point is 01:16:58 Good evening guys Good to see you all again Hope you're having a nice holiday season We are Mike Hunt for five Biggest problem is no plastic dividers Between plane seats to stop the spread,
Starting point is 01:17:06 but really it's to stop people of size spilling under your seat. As a fat man, I agree. I would wish I had better ways to contain my girth. Like a cubby for you guys. I'll bring like a backpack and use it to create dividers
Starting point is 01:17:18 for myself. Pop quiz for 20. I hate change. I don't know what the fuck that means. Mexi-man and cheese for 20. Shout out to the fan whose car was stolen at the live show. Steve was locking up the Mexi-club guy walks up to us sad and confused. Told us he couldn't find his car.
Starting point is 01:17:36 I had to go, but hope it worked out. Jesus. Wait, at our live show, somebody's car got stolen? I guess. How? Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry. Logan Lee. I don't know. But does he mean Ralph's live show? I don't know? Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry. Logan Lee.
Starting point is 01:17:46 I don't know. But it doesn't mean Ralph's live show. I don't know. No, ours. Logan Lehman's for five. Glad I could finally catch a live episode. All five to Vito's Q-tip fund. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:17:55 CG five. Vito talks about Mr. Girl like a battered wife. Like I'm the battered wife or he is? You're the battered wife. I am the battered wife and that's it. Absolutely. Because I want everyone to love him. And then he does things where they clearly don't. He tries to like ruin their life.
Starting point is 01:18:08 I don't want to get into it. I don't want to. I know it's a whole thing. Don't you think that's a little far for like a woman? I think. It reminds me of the, it reminds me of the Bill Burr on some fucking TV show. What were they talking about?
Starting point is 01:18:22 They're like, it's horrible. What happened with the Catholic church shit or something? And he was like, I thought the horrible part was the child rape or whatever. It's like, I'm like a TV show. What were they talking about? They're like, it's horrible. What happened with the Catholic church shit? Or something. He was like, I thought the horrible part was the child rape or whatever. I'm like a morning show. Yeah, I was like,
Starting point is 01:18:30 yeah, that is probably the worst part, yeah. Dwab Winkle for five. The little same non-specific ethnicity guy turning lights red for Destiny is denying his unbanned. I bet he is.
Starting point is 01:18:41 He's working on it. Jack Rockstar for five. Glad Sean's Twitter account is coming back, but none of these problems are as big as yellow dry on it. Jack Rockstar for five. Glad Sean's Twitter account is coming back, but none of these problems are as big as yellow dry erase markers. Horse McGee for five. Destiny is pals with low-tier God. Oh, I love that guy.
Starting point is 01:18:52 Low-tier God on an episode of The Future 2. Stinky Poopyface for five. This is the best podcast in the universe. Maddox is a doo-doo head. Got him. Helly Hills for ten, best episode yet. Can we get a call to prayer? I don't know if we're gonna do that. Nah, it's not. We're gonna hit refresh.
Starting point is 01:19:10 Get your super chats in last minute, but I want to thank everybody for coming. Great show! Have you ever done a call to prayer, Destiny? I don't think so. Even though my community's called the Dally Band, maybe we should. Islamic call to prayer? Let me just fire it up. Let me just see if it's... This is not a good bit. Call to prayer Let me just fire it up Let me just See if it's This is not a good bit
Starting point is 01:19:26 Let me just fire it up Call to prayer Islamic Call to prayer Why do you not bookmark it? Because I never think I'm going to do it again Because it's so offensive
Starting point is 01:19:35 And we do it again Every time Well the fans seem to love Oh wow There's a lot more Superchats We're getting through We're banging through
Starting point is 01:19:50 No there's not too many John Doe 5 Black Power Fist For the Ralph Amell All Hail Ralph Sincerely the Gunt Guardian Gunt guarding Gunt guarding December
Starting point is 01:19:58 That's what it is Is that what's happening? Yep Michael Winning for 5 Do another hour You F slurs No Kara Fro for 20
Starting point is 01:20:04 Nice to meet destiny Thanks for the laugh Tonight's guys Well thank you Cara You're welcome Rydog for five Says play the veto's Twitter stinger
Starting point is 01:20:11 No next week John Doe for five Abtruse is here And Kerr Get used to it David Gomez too There are more gays On the show
Starting point is 01:20:20 Than not this week And Koof for two Thank you all For not Killing yourselves Guys what a show We've had here today I think our the show than not this week. Koo for two. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Guys, what a show we've had here today. I think our blessed Allah would smile upon this show
Starting point is 01:20:33 and the comedy we have brought to our audience. What are you going to do with this? Don't look at it. Don't give me that look. Point to Mecca right now. Point to Mecca right now.
Starting point is 01:20:48 Point to Mecca. Point to Mecca. What a good comedy show we have had at the night of the biggest problem in the universe. He has this voice. Very offensive. That's not offensive. Celebrating my favorite.
Starting point is 01:21:03 I walk right out. You walk right out of what? I walk right out of the show. Of Tim Pool? To play with my Regigigastic. I make a new Regigigastic. We talk about Pokemon over there. He's not a god, he's a very... Regigigastic with Registeel, Regirock, Regidraco, Regielekia.
Starting point is 01:21:24 Thank you, Rosalind Samaras, for putting up with this bit. You can pull any energy out of your discard pile. With Registeel, Regirock, Regidraco, Regielekia. You can pull any energy out of your discard pile. Put it on any Pokemon you want. One Pokemon. All right. Any Pokemon I can get. Only one Pokemon you can play the energy on. Regigigas. Regigigas.
Starting point is 01:21:40 Greatest deck in world I have. That's pretty good. Greatest deck in world. I got rolling the consonants there. Greatest deck in the world. Rolling the consonants there. Alright, are we done? Is that it? I'll put up the list of our favorite supporters right there at the end.
Starting point is 01:21:55 Once again, I want to remind you guys, please vote on the problems at biggestproblem.show. Do I win anything? Like if my problem was number one? You win the satisfaction. Yeah, you come back. Yeah's how you defend your title. Yeah, there you go. Mr. Girl will stop. You defeat all the allegations
Starting point is 01:22:13 if you win. He has to come on and give a bravo. I will say, assuming he gets to the end of this and I'm clean, I'm like the least rape person. Who's been vetted that fucking hard? Like that'll be like my, that'll be my fucking badge of honor.
Starting point is 01:22:30 That will be my badge of honor. I have the Mr. Girl clean. This guy's DMing women. I forgot I fucked. Okay. There are women messaging me like, Hey, do you,
Starting point is 01:22:40 this guy's messaging is like, Oh my God, is he accusing us of having sex? Like, well we did. And I'm like, Oh yeah, I guess we did. I remember, yeah. I don't even remember half these people.
Starting point is 01:22:48 I feel like this is like a team up that you guys have to, you brag about your sexual exploits. Let's have this great bit that we do where you dredge up all these sexual encounters I've ever had. What if he sends you a little certificate to hang up, like Mr. Girl Verified Clean? True. She should make that.
Starting point is 01:23:04 You could sell him. You could. I'd donate 50 bucks for one. I want one. He could have a picture of himself on it and everything, shirtless with it. I think it's all gonna work out. He's like the bad guy from the Fairly Oddparents. I feel like my parents, it's like my parents getting divorced all over again. That's how it feels, you know? Who's your dad? When your parents get divorced,
Starting point is 01:23:19 do they try to outuse a rapist? Was that before or after the court proceedings? That period passed pretty quickly. Yeah, that's good. Dad was doing everything he could to win custody. And then he was like,
Starting point is 01:23:31 well, my kid is a virgin. He goes, my kid... There you go. Just kidding. Destiny, thank you so much for coming by. Yeah, thanks for having me. Vote at biggestproblem.show
Starting point is 01:23:39 and check out the bonus episode, which we'll post later this week, I suppose. When are we putting up the bonus episode? Easy listening. post later this week, I suppose. When are we putting up the bonus episode? Easy listen. Yeah. It's an easy listen.
Starting point is 01:23:48 It's an easy listen. Coast to coast. Check out of all this, Kanye. Like NPR is an easy listen. Like that's good. You want, sometimes you want an easy listen. What is the cross?
Starting point is 01:23:58 Smooth. Yeah, but they don't bill it as that. Two boobs is the crossover of fans between NPR and this fucking show. Okay. When you said NPR They're looking for new crypto coins to invest in NPR coin what's that Comrocket coin
Starting point is 01:24:12 Only on the bonus episode Find out how to get rich Only on the bonus episode Okay goodbye Goodnight everybody

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