The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 67
Episode Date: November 30, 2022Elon Musk, Conservatives, Bad Blood...
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Last time I was here we had our little friend Fuentes
And now he's all grown up
Sucking Ye's dick
I imagine there's going to be some Fuentes talk
This episode
You really think so?
Go live because we're going to get it all out of the way
Alright alright alright
I mean tonight the biggest night of
The Kanye stand up The Ye campaign is on its way the biggest night of... The Kanye stand-up.
The Kanye campaign is on its way.
The biggest night so far.
The biggest night, exactly.
So far.
The train is moving, coming out of the station.
Let's not use any train metaphors when we refer to Kanye's campaign.
When you say we shouldn't, when you say we, who do you mean by we there?
The trains are leaving the station.
I'm not going to say where they're going or what will happen to the people once they arrive.
But the yay trains are leaving the station.
Was that the funniest thing you've ever seen?
Which thing?
Nick Fuentes going, yeah, but it is them.
It's got to be like, it's got to be a dream.
He's got to be living a fever dream
That kid has to like
Wake up and pinch himself
He's gotta like
My favorite fucking rapper
Of all time
Is here backing me up
On my race realist
Anti-Semitism
Like ooh and a million
Fucking years
They're both anti-Semites
I know
My favorite politician
Father figure
And my favorite rapper
Father figure
Both love me
And it turns out
they're both, they all hate the Jews.
And not even, but it's like,
it's not even like a little bit. He's like putting him
to shame. Like, Ye is running off
a show. He hates Jewish people so much.
And Fuentes is like following him,
like trying to be on that level of Jew
hatred, you know? Yeah, can you believe it?
Fuentes every day must be like, I'm gonna
wake up in the VR simulation,
take the headset off, and it's all gonna be gone. Like, day must be like, I'm gonna wake up in the VR simulation and take the headset off and it's all
gonna be gone. This must be an illusion.
How much do you hate the Jews that
like, Poole gives the gentle, he's like,
all the Jews? And yeah, he's like, get me
out of here!
What do you mean all the Jews? What do you mean
all of them? Of course! You could tell
he was like, you could tell he was gonna
come up with one of those Lex Friedman
things, like, okay, wait, right after Tim Poole said, you'd tell he was going to come up with one of those Lex Friedman things. Like, well, like, okay, wait.
Right after Tim Pool said, you'd be good for the black vote.
But I don't like talking with Jews.
I don't want to talk about any sort of race.
Identity politics.
What the fuck did you mean?
I'd be good for the black vote then.
What was that?
I'm going to do the radio thing real quick.
Just for those of you who don't know what we're talking about.
I'm going to do the radio thing real quick.
Just for those of you who don't know what we're talking about,
tonight, Ye and his entourage of Milo Yiannopoulos and Nick Fuentes appeared on the Tim Pool radio program.
Briefly.
Very briefly.
Not entourage, groupies.
Groupies.
Let's get it right.
Let's get it right.
Hangers on.
Don't you wish you were still friends with Nick
as the news calls him Fuentes?
I wish I could be friends with Nick
just so that I could have ran off to suck Ye's dick
before he did.
I wanted him to come into that room
with me and Milo on each fucking ball.
And he's like, oh, no, am I too late?
Did he already nut?
Like, that's what I wanted to be.
Do you think Ye could tell you and Nick apart
because you're both mixed race?
That's a good question like
one of you Mexicans good you
love Fuentes still what do you
mean still I'm saying I love
for Nick Fuentes I didn't even
know what love was until this
week destiny I think you had an
interesting relationship with
Nick Fuentes it sounds like
you've kind of fallen out of
your favor is Is that incorrect?
You know, we go, we have our phases.
We have our phases.
It's an autistic Hispanic thing.
Sure.
We go back and forth.
Dick famously on this show just professes his weird.
Why is it weird?
Because it doesn't make any sense.
I know you don't actually agree with anything he says.
I like having my bank accounts more than I like saying.
Okay, but he wants like a trad Catholic
world where you don't ever look at a woman
with lust in your eyes and you never
see a pornographic magazine.
Don't shrug. I know you don't want
that. I know this is
against everything Dick Masterson
is supposed to stand for. He's endearing,
okay? He's so funny, though. He is funny,
but that's your
excuse for everything
Yeah but I value that more than all those things
He can go I'm gonna kill you and your whole family and as long as he was funny about it you go well what am I gonna do?
Wait yeah
That is the ultimate weakness for Dick Masterson
If you can make him laugh you can do anything
Did you see that Kanye stole Tim Pool's cookies as he was walking out the door?
No he didn't.
He went into the break room and grabbed a stack of fake news.
No, you're lying.
No, you did.
I swear that's true.
I don't believe you.
Yay for president.
Do you think he's going to win, Destiny?
You know, I'm done making predictions about anything political.
I think we're past that stage.
I wish I could have gotten a fucking recording of what Trump's face looked like when Ye suggested that he runs as his vice president.
I don't know what's going on in whose head.
I don't know what's going on.
We're back, baby.
We're back.
We're back in 2016.
Yes.
It was a crazy time.
Yeah, we're back, man.
This is literally insane.
I know. You're like eating this up Like you don't understand
All night this is all
He's like we're back
We're back
I'm like what do you mean we
What is happening
Nick Fuentes reverse you peopled
Tim Pool
That's how you think
He's like well I'm sorry that they treated you
What do you mean they
This is a nightmare
This is not how politics is supposed to work
This is not how discourse is supposed to work How This is not how discourse is supposed to work.
Oh, how would you like it?
Everybody just calls each other pedophile.
I don't know.
Maybe a guy doesn't walk into a popular podcast,
starts spreading crazy anti-Jew whatever,
and then...
Whoa.
I don't know what's going on.
I don't get any of it.
It's always crazy.
You're discounting his opinion.
I am.
I'm being racist towards yay.
That's able, like, ableist. Where are your parents from? I don't know anything about this veto guy. I haven't seen him. That's opinion. I am. I'm being racist towards yay. That's able like ableist.
Where are your parents from? I don't know anything about this Vito guy.
I haven't seen him. That's true.
There is always the, what do you call it?
The ongoing conspiracy theory
that I'm a secret Italian Jew or something.
Oh, there's a conspiracy that you're a Jew?
Yeah. Have you ever been secretly called a Jew?
Like somebody thinks you're a... A crypto Jew?
Is that what they call them? Something like that.
I've had 4chan. Yeah.
Crypto Jew.
Wow.
I don't know.
Last time you were here...
Yeah, last time you were here was the Ralph Week, wasn't it?
I think so.
Ralph and Fuentes on the phone.
With Jesse Lee Pearson.
Yeah, everything going on, yeah.
That was a fun night.
It was.
You know the Odyssey guy, Julian?
You ever talk to that guy?
Yeah.
Do you know of him?
He's a huge fan of yours.
He's a cool fan of yours.
He's a cool dude.
He is a very cool dude.
But every time we talk about that week, every time I meet up with him, somehow you come up.
And he's always gives me this. He's like, man, Destiny, we've got to get that.
We've got to get Destiny on Odyssey.
He's fantastic.
He's really fantastic.
No matter what we're talking about, He will always circle it Back around to you
It's so funny
But he always talks about
That time you were in here
And we were talking
To Nick Fuentes
Oh great
That's good
I feel flattered
You gonna go call in tonight?
I don't know
Julian's probably texting you
No no
Fuentes
Oh
They're not just like
They're doing anything right now right?
I mean they're sitting on the jet
Hopefully they're watching
Do you think they're both
Massaging Kanye's shoulders
Right now
Telling him what a big W Shoulders They're licking his feet. Hopefully they're watching. Do you think they're both massaging Kanye's shoulders right now,
telling him what a big W is?
Shoulders?
They're licking his feet.
Come on. Oh, my God.
Daddy Ye.
It was awesome.
We were just there.
We were talking upstairs, and it's like, I can see.
It's so funny because Ye walks off, and I know Fuentes.
There's some part of his mind where he's like, okay,
I get two hours of Tim Pool alone.
I get to preach in front of probably the largest audience I've ever had.
Oh, he's thinking about it. For a solitude. Yeah. And then Milo's like, I'm two hours of Tim Pool alone I get to preach in front of Probably the largest audience I've ever had
For a solitude
And then Milo's like
I'm gonna go check on him
And Milo scampers off
And Fuentes is like
Fuck
Should I have been
The first guy
Should I have been
The first guy
He's thinking
He's probably playing it
Over in his head
Like I bet he's in the room
I bet
Yeah he's like
Thank you for coming Milo
Like come give me a hug
And a kiss maybe
And then like two minutes later
Fuentes is like
I gotta go guys
I gotta get out of here
And he like runs off Like trying to find like where they at
Oh my it's like the saddest fucking like leech behavior ever it is like fucking his blue yay approved sweatshirt
Probably the third time in this guy's life
He's ever had a fucking sweatshirt
This guy's in a air-
He's never in a suit normally
This is such jealousy that's coming at you
No I think this is fascinating
And they're just jealous that they that first of all he's got the ear of Ye and that he's controlling the political...
Like, Nick Fuentes.
He's the future vice president of America.
He's arrived with his thumb on the scale.
His thumb is on the scale.
And his other thumb up Kanye's ass.
And number two, he totally embarrassed Tim Pool.
You're also jealous of that.
He did.
They made him look like a fool, I guess.
Yeah.
That's how some people are interpreting it.
I don't know how to feel about it.
Really?
Who comes out on top in that scenario?
Tim Pool or Ye?
Really?
It's got to be Pool.
Ye left.
He gets the gentlest of pushback.
It's like a fucking breeze and he falls over.
Yeah, but that's like so Ye that he's just like,
like he almost could mind read what they were going to say. And then he's like So yay That he's just like Like he almost Could mind read
What they were gonna say
And then he's like
I'm getting out
Before it even happens
That's how many levels
Above you I am right now
I don't like identity
Okay whatever
I'm out
Like where is this
Gonna go then
It's just gonna be like
Arguing over terms
For another two hours
While you rake in
Super chats
Fuck you
I'm out
And I'm taking your cookies
As I go
I think they both look stupid
is the thing.
They're in the middle of,
have you ever been to
Poole's Place?
No.
It's in the middle of
fucking nowhere too.
It's like,
yeah,
like you fly a jet out there,
you take an Uber to the house
and like halfway there
you're like,
where the fuck am I going?
Somebody's about to like
take a,
harvest a kidney from me
because it's in the middle
of nowhere.
So they went really far
out of their way
to leave this little prank.
For this little prank.
Yeah.
Imagine Kanye West just pranking your
fucking, your little fucking podcast.
Like, I can imagine Milo kind of telling
him, like, look, we're gonna go in there, you're gonna say
Jews, he's not gonna acknowledge
it, and then we're just gonna leave.
And it's gonna be epic.
I mean, it worked! Everyone's talking
about it. The first thing I thought was exactly
like what you said, like, oh man, I bet
Nick Fuentes doesn't know what to do.
Like, cause he could stay there and like, two hours Tim pulls That's the largest. It's a larger show. He's been on right. I would be a chance to talk uninterrupted
Yeah, and no offense to pool, but Fuentes will run circles around that entire table absolutely
Cuz he's got like the patter down. He's got all his talking points, and he's great at it
So he's got a pick between, like I could feel
that. As soon as Kanye left, I was like, oh
no, Nick. Oh my God.
Oh, what are you going to do? You can't stay there because
you look like you're betraying him. You have
to walk away. It was like in Indiana Jones
when he's like grabbing the Holy Grail.
And he's like, Junior, let it go. I was like,
oh, Junior, let it go. Let it go, let it go.
You have to walk. Oh, damn
Steve. Yeah, he's in the middle.
Fuentes is in the middle of the fucking point.
He hears a plane, and he's like, do they take off without me?
Like, oh, God.
He would just leave him, too.
He would just leave him there.
Okay, should we start the show?
Yeah, let's start the show.
Thanks for coming in, Destiny.
Thank you so much.
Busy day for you.
You're on the podcast circuit now.
Yeah.
Oh. It's a busy day for you. You're on the podcast circuit now. Oh, let's start. Yeah. Oh!
We got a lot of people watching.
Maybe not.
I don't know.
Big show.
Biggest problem in the universe.
Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe.
The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from sensationalized hate crimes to being sick on your own time.
That's a good one from Isaac Cox.
I'm your host, Dick Mastin.
Joining me as always is Vito Giswaldi.
Hi, Dick.
Joining us special for this episode only,
in town for a few moments to stop by and grace us
with his rapist wit on the show.
Thank you.
What's that?
Destiny.
I'm glad to be out of the closet
because being a rapist
and hiding is a lot of work,
okay,
but now I can just be
totally open with it.
It's more fun to be out there.
It is, absolutely.
You've got everyone
working against you
in that closet
trying to shove you out.
The only thing that sucks now
is now girls will DM me
with rapist fantasies, but it's not fun if they're into it.
You know, now it's just destroyed it for me.
The ultimate like a Twilight Zone curse that you got.
Exactly, yeah.
Now they know.
I have to move to a new area, change my identity.
So I can rape women.
The traditional way.
Yeah, you stream, you stream like all the time, right?
I try to, yeah.
You try to?
12 to 10 every day, yeah.
Do you really? It's my goal, yeah. Oh my
fucking God. I'm a fucking computer loser.
Well, computer winner,
right? I mean, there's other guys doing it and they're not
making anything out of it. You're a loser until you're
a winner, I guess. Yeah, what is your
situation now? I know Keffel's fucked you over.
The last thing I know about you is Keffel's fucked you
over. I won that war. You won that war?
Yeah, I made a big ass fucking manifesto where I buried that motherfucker.
Half the internet turned against her.
She's fucking done.
She's basically done.
Yeah, like, isn't she basically offline now?
Oh, yeah.
She got a week ago.
I saw my cease and desist hit her inbox.
Oh, really?
Hell yeah.
I got the best.
After listening to all the yay shit, I got the best Jewish lawyer in fucking Canada.
That's what you do.
And this guy is real.
Because other lawyers I've talked to in the past are always timid.
And I'm talking to this guy, and I'm like, you know, do you think it's okay or whatever?
Like, you know, because sometimes they get timid.
They're like, oh, well, I don't know.
You're going to look bad.
And this guy's like, bro, I'm getting paid either way.
So whatever you want to do, let's go.
And I'm like, fucking hey, man.
Fire away then.
Let's go.
Hell yeah.
I need a lawyer like that.
After I got thrown into the anti-homeless architecture in front of Netflix
I talked to these lawyers
Did you see that?
You got assaulted
I fucked you up almost as bad as that bowling ball did
With your wrist
That was the last time I saw you
I'm back man
That's good
You still got that scar though
That's intense
The last time I saw you I was cradling my arm like a wounded animal.
And you were like, you're leaving so soon?
I was like, get the fuck out of my face.
And then the cops came in.
Yeah.
People thought you were faking.
They're like, oh, Dick just running out on Ralph again.
That's what I assumed.
I thought you were just like, I'm out of here.
I knew, though. I'm like, no,
that is an old man who hurts himself constantly.
Can I just say that
I don't know if I complained to you or not. Ralph fucked
me on that show so hard.
Oh, with the debate?
Yeah, where we got a bar full of these
like rowdy, everybody's having a good time.
And what does he bring me up
like, today we're going to have a discussion
on globalism
versus isolation.
Like, what the fuck? And everybody just goes
silent. Before the bowling.
Was that before or after Alex
Stein did stand-up?
I don't know. Alright.
Because that really sets the mood for a good debate.
Some rousing stand-up.
Yeah.
And now let's settle in for a debate.
Are you and Ralph fighting now?
No, I think we're okay.
Okay, good.
I need like a board.
I have to ask everybody that when they're on my show.
I'm like, oh, I'll mention a name and their face will go like,
and I'll be like, oh, are you guys not friends?
They're like, I hate that guy.
I'm like, okay.
That's interesting.
We may have a problem when it talks about that sort of thing.
I forgot what I was going to say.
I'm always surprised
I'm still on Ralph's good side
because he's hated me
and then goes back.
That's the Ralph cycle, you know?
It is.
Are you truly ever
a friend of Ralph
if he hasn't tried to
internet assassinate you
at least one time?
I think you're the only
true friend of Ralph, though.
Because we're like the same guy.
Yeah, I think of all the people
that like Ralph
would never betray you
because you're like the only person that yeah I just get him psychopath soul
brothers yeah I don't know what comes to me and they go why does dick hang out
with Ralph and I go I don't know and areas yeah well that's pretty much the
answer that's the dick Masterson barometer for any human being.
Okay.
I forget what I was saying.
Okay, so you're suing Keffels.
Maybe.
Potentially.
If she does not desist.
It's not just a desist.
I want a retraction.
Oh, a retraction.
A printed retraction?
An apology?
Calling me transphobic and saying I directed hate raids and shit.
Normally for internet shit,
I don't care
because it's internet shit.
The problem though
is that people are writing stories
on like the fucking
Washington Times
about me and shit.
I'm like,
I don't want this fucking shit
when I like,
my bread and butter
has been debating
from the left
like trans issues and stuff.
I don't want people writing
that I'm fucking transphobic.
That's insane.
And she knows she lied about it.
Like she even tweets after.
It's like,
oh, I was just trying to bait him.
It's like, fuck you.
There's a lot of that going on
A lot of guys are not realizing
Like you can't just libel people
Because of the internet
And it's whatever
Well not in Canada
Not in Canada
In the US you can
Because God bless the freedom of speech
That's true
I love it
But also
Fucking Africa
As soon as I started reading up
On their libel laws
And I'm like oh shit
This is some
I get how much of her money
Let's go.
So you're not transphobic?
Not usually.
Just towards couples.
No.
Not even towards couples.
Not even towards couples.
I'm never transphobic.
We support everyone's identity and right to exist.
I do.
Oh, I remember what I was saying.
The lawyer.
I talked to all these lawyers after I got thrown into the concrete ball at Netflix at the protest.
Yeah.
And they're like, well, you know, see how it works out for like a couple years.
And like, if your dick falls off,
then like I could get you some money.
Like if you get, if you're worried,
if you get fired.
I'm like, uh.
Yeah, the whole situation.
I guess I really didn't like understand
what a lawyer is.
I thought it's like, you could see on the video
that he's throwing me into concrete.
Yeah, but.
I don't want to sue that.
I don't want all this shit.
That whole situation did not work out in a good way for us.
Damn.
Because everybody wanted me to pursue charges because the guy broke my sign.
I went to the LAPD and they're like, yeah, I don't know.
We'll take a report and then never talk to you again.
I'm like, well, thanks.
Yeah.
I'm like, the LAP doesn't care.
They're not going to chase down Some TV executive
Did you give them a
I pay your
What do I pay your salary for
To the cops
Yeah yeah
I really chewed them out
That's what you should do
I mean to be fair
You're walking into a precinct
With like a 30% clearance rate
On fucking homicides
So they're probably not
Gonna be investigating
No they don't give a shit
Sign destruction disturbances
Yeah
Well that's
Which is fine
I get it
It's the people online
Who go I don't know why
You didn't keep pushing it
I'm like what do you Would you want me to beg the cops To. It's the people online who go. I don't know why you didn't keep pushing it Oh, yeah
Would you want me to beg the cops to like it's very guy immediately tell when people don't interact with a cop
Yeah, buddy steals your shit. They're like did you file a police report?
They don't care they're not going to do anything it's LA
I'm sorry police reports exist for one reason and one reason alone and that's to take to your insurance company
Yeah, they can give you shit you shit because those are the only people
that are going to give you anything
for your lost or stolen goods.
Okay, let's do...
This is last week's results
but it's really today's, I guess.
What did we record?
Friday.
It's been a couple days.
Badly timed traffic lights.
That was a terrible problem
for me and I won.
But I took it home.
Those are the worst. See, everybody... I did a terrible job making it and I won But I took it home Those are the worst
See everybody I did a terrible job making it funny
But I think everyone's just like those are the worst
That is a terrible problem
They time them to fuck you in some places
I think there's a guy watching
Cause I've got like a decently fast 350 horsepower little hot hatch or whatever
And there'll be times where I'll turn that fucking sport mode on
And I'm like I'm gonna fucking make this next one
And you don't
There's a guy pushing the buttons to fuck you
Every time you come up to the light I'm like, I'm gonna fucking make this next one. And you don't. There's a guy pushing the buttons to fuck you every time you come
up to the light. I'm like, no shot!
We're not gonna say what his race is.
What? The guy in the box?
Shut the fuck up, gay.
Jesus Christ.
It's a white gentleman holding down
the black motorist. Getting sick during
time off, yay. Good one.
Sensationalism. I guess nobody
liked my take on the shooting.
Yeah, he thinks
the shooting was too sensationalized.
It wasn't a gay guy
to shoot up the club. He's saying he was
non-binary. He looks pretty gay. I don't think
he's not gay.
What'd you think about that? I heard non-binary.
It was an episode, it was a TV episode
of fuck, what show would it be?
Where the dad is like, well at first I thought he was in there looking was a TV episode of fuck what show would it be where the dad is like well at first?
I thought he was in there looking for a dude. Yeah
But then I thought he was just looking for dudes to kill and I was you know
Really dodged that bullet people in the club actually okay
Hippie Thanksgiving terrible problem from me, but it doesn't matter because I won and I am the winner. Good job.
Okay.
I've got some comments and then we're going to, did you think of a problem by the way?
I got a problem.
We got a problem.
Fantastic.
Okay.
You know, everyone thought that you and I should do this show.
We should reboot it together.
Did you happen to see any of that? I know you're much bigger.
Way back.
Way back.
Before even I was ever anything.
Are you firing your co-host live We didn't talk about this
Before
He would fire me for you
I'm pretty sure
Which is fine
He owns the trademark
On the show
Yeah did you have
People were shipping us
To do the show
After the
After the last show
You guys are a good pair though
Yeah
I don't know if you saw
Any of that
Well I think it works
Cause me and
Well I consider myself
Liberal centrist
And Destin you're Kind of the same right pretty left
I think yeah on the crowd. I'm way that just depends
I also think I'm pretty left but then you know a lot of people say cuz I hang out with Dick Masterson clearly
I am a Nazi. Yeah, there you go
So yeah, you actually like give us all the time in the world. It's really nice. I
Think you personally have like tamped debt like let so much steam out of the engine.
Nick Fuentes' train, wherever it's going, out of the steam engine.
I think the show works, though, because we have, you know, a kind of liberal perspective.
And then a guy who, as long as it's funny, will agree with the most racist and horrible speech out there.
And that's the show.
What's racist about?
I don't know.
They all said they.
Nobody said any kind of words.
Anti-Semitic, whatever you want to call it.
Okay, Goaty McGoatface.
Vito has the potential to be extremely hilarious.
I'm going to read this one.
I saw this one.
It made me sad.
The potential to be hilarious. I don't want to read it. Just read it. God damn it. I saw this one. It made me sad. The potential to be hilarious.
I don't want to read it.
Just read it.
God damn it.
But he's lazy.
Yeah.
So we rarely get to witness it.
Buck up, Vito.
Start treating your work like a blue-collar job.
Put ten hours in a day, five days a week, into your comedy skits.
That's my crying time.
Stand-up and comic.
That's my argue on Twitter time.
It'd be a shame if a hilarious guy like you doesn't reach your potential. That is true.
That's a good point because like to be serious like I'm always blown away that when I come in here
Dick is walking back and forth upstairs. He's rehearsing lines and jokes. He's got written for the show. This dude's already fucking drunk by the time we walk in.
I was not drunk! On white claws!
You get way too drunk on a show.
I come in and he's meaning to talk to you about that. By the time we walked in. I was not drunk. On white claws. On white claws. You get way too drunk on a show.
I commit.
I get too drunk on the show.
By the end of the show, you're like,
unbelievable.
Rolling around with a dog.
It's not even understandable.
Dick over here.
I'm drinking delicious Mountain Dews here
to keep myself awake tonight.
The claw, yes.
The problem with the live show,
we just had a live show.
Have you ever had one of those?
We did do a live show.
Is this a live show? Well, we sold live show. Have you ever had one of those? We did do a live show. Is this a live show?
Well, we sold tickets and all that nonsense.
Oh, cute.
How did that go?
It went really well, I thought.
What do you mean cute?
It's cute to do a show in front of people.
It is cute.
You got your internet people, and you're all there with your friends.
You're like, hey, guys, what's up?
Well, the problem is the internet people think that they can just yell, because they still
think they're alone in their bedrooms.
Like they're in a chat room.
Yeah.
And you're like, this is not the chat portion.
Like we're doing a show.
Shut the fuck up.
That was kind of the big problem.
The problem with the live show was the audience participating.
Yes, that's exactly it.
Wow.
You should just do like a WATP and do a normal show.
All right.
Well, next time.
Well, I like that they wrote.
That guy's probably mad because he wasn't in the audience shouting.
He thought he had the funniest joke and nobody said it. He was only in chat pounding away at his fucking, yeah, well. That guy's probably mad because he wasn't in the audience shouting. He thought he had the funniest joke and nobody said it.
He was only in chat pounding away at his fucking
energy.
I like that people wrote their problems on the cards
and we riffed on the cards. I thought that was a good bit.
Yeah, I like when people shout.
Because then you can shout at them.
I don't know.
I don't know if it translates to the
if that energy translates to a recording
later though. I don't think so. No, people hate it.
Yeah.
So maybe to enjoy the live show, you have to be at the live show.
Definitely.
And then we give you the recording, and like, look, it's not going to be the same.
It's not the same as seeing the concert, okay?
Yeah.
You're not at the Budokan with cheap trick, but enjoy what you got.
There is like an energy to an audience.
I haven't even done that much live shit, but live debate and everything, when the audience
is booing and cheering, there's like
a feeling for that that's actually like
it's hard to get that online.
Your debates would be so, like, it seems like
it would be so much more fun and rewarding to do
like the old Lincoln-Douglas
debates.
For Mines, I didn't event in New York or whatever.
Shout out to Mines. I love you guys. But yeah, you've
got like audiences booing and cheering for certain
people. You're getting hyped up or whatever.
And you're trying not to misspeak and making sure all your facts are straight.
Everything.
Yeah.
That's high pressure.
For sure.
Yeah.
I would like to see you guys do a debate with the powdered wigs and the big coats and everything.
Yeah.
Really dress it up.
I'd show up for that.
That's what Ralph's bowling debate was supposed to be.
Yeah.
Was it?
It didn't.
Yeah.
That didn't translate at all.
It turned into a fist fight.
Did you see Ralph get, that guy come up and hit him?
Cockbill or whatever.
Ralph just stood there.
He saw it coming.
He's like, do it, hit me.
Yeah, he did.
And it turned out that guy fucked his sister.
Jesus Christ.
His own sister.
His own sister.
I think, the guy that hit him.
You're going to Ralph's wrestling thing, right?
Of course.
Are you kidding me?
I kind of want to go.
Are you going?
Destiny, are you going to Ralph-a-mania? Yeah. Ralph-a- me? I kind of want to go. Are you going? Destiny, are you going
to Ralph-a-mania?
Ralph-a-mania?
I want to compete
in Ralph-a-mania.
You can debate
before the wrestling event.
No, during.
During.
As two wrestlers
are going at it.
Okay, Benjamin Swearingen
says we need stingers
for every time problems
about food
or LA traffic
are brought in.
Go fuck yourself.
Oh, shit.
I guess don't do LA traffic.
So they sprung on me when I came in here. They're like, you need a
problem. It's an important part of the show. Like two minutes before
going live. And obviously the first thing I say
because I'm back in LA is like the traffic.
And they tell me that it's every episode.
Don't worry.
It really is hell on earth here.
And I stand by my original statement.
If you live here and you commute every day, just
fuck you. Yeah, I don't get it
I don't know what kind of life you live. I don't know why you would subject yourself to it
Fuck your family fuck living here and fucking leave. Yeah, yeah a blight on yourself. That's based
It's disgusting if you live more than like 20 minutes from where you're working
What's the point of being alive? Just live at work?
True. Live in a tent outside. Get one of those fucking pods people are doing that. What do you think of our homeless?
It's been a while since you've been back. You see
they're building like little cities under our city?
You know, when a homeless guy's walking around screaming,
I just pretend he's got the AirPods
in. He's probably having a good conversation
with somebody up there, you know? Everything's
chill. He walks right by me like he's talking on the phone,
you know? Last one. Brenalock
said, I just heard the voicemail from the guy who said
he passed out at the live show.
I don't think he knows the extent of his passing out.
Did he just get so excited?
It was BYOB.
No, I think he got too drunk, unfortunately.
I have a very liquor-fueled audience.
I was the other guy who walked out because I was too drunk and high and tired to stay awake.
It was kind of a crazy show.
My wife and I watched that
guy pass out while he was still standing
up. He hit his head on a tree
on the way down and then just
fell asleep.
Supposedly. Is it they just assumed that?
Let's hope so. We thought
he was hurt or dead. Yeah.
So we walked over to check on him
but then that guy's girlfriend came out yelling at us
because she thought we were up to no good.
Lol.
Glad to hear he's alive, though.
Huh.
Well, I missed that guy on the way out,
so I guess his girlfriend must have dragged him out of there at some point.
What's interesting about that is there was like three or four couples at our show,
and one of them was black.
So I wonder if this is
The black cover
That found the sleeping guy
And then it was like
A little bit of racism
You know
Cause they saw the black guy
Approaching the white gentleman
And they thought
Something about
Well that's not
Anyway
No racism at our shows
Okay
You wanna do a problem first
I'll do a problem Dick
Go for it
This week
Dick
Been thinking about this problem
It's a problem that's affected me In my life and fills me with anxiety and sometimes a sadness.
Okay.
That problem is bad blood.
Oh.
Now, bad blood, as I would define it, is when you know various people in your life, people you care about, acquaintances, whatever else.
Right.
And you just kind of want everybody to be, like, cool, you know?
Like, everybody, you don't got to love everybody, but, you know, you want to be able to be like,
hey, I'm hanging out with Todd, and Steve goes, oh, that's cool, I love Todd, you guys
have fun.
Yeah.
Hey, I'm hanging out with Steve, and Todd goes, oh, that Steve guy, he's great.
You don't want Todd and Steve to hate the shit out of each other.
You used his real name, but you didn't use Todd's real name?
Well, I just used Steve as a
random. There's a lot of Steves. I wasn't
thinking of Steven, of course. I think of him
as destiny. And then, you
know, you get guys and they go, well, why would you hang
out with him? I hate that guy.
Oh, yeah. And it creates a lot of
awkward situations.
And I seem to run into
that in my personal and
professional life
in a number of places.
Like where? Well...
I have
certain... I mean,
I was all like, you know, I like Destiny. I was all
excited to get him on the show.
That's a big mistake.
You know the biggest victim of that is I feel so bad
for my wife. Oh, really?
You're running that with her? Because she's in Twitch
and in those communities, and damn, if you think
being friends with me is bad, try being fucking
married to me. I can't imagine.
Yeah, you should. Oh my god.
And she, um, yeah,
dude, there are so many people that just fucking hate her right out the gate
just because, like, Jesus. Well, I think we
run into a lot of that On this show
It's like you know
I'd love to have
Chrissy Mayer
Come on sometime
Sure
Cause we're friends
Yeah why not
We're friends with Josh
Didn't you get in a fight
With her or something
Yeah well that's the thing
But like I'm willing
To bury that hat shit
You know
Cause Josh Denny
Is friends with her
Don't refer to her
In those sexist terms
Well I don't wanna bury her
But I'm saying
You know it's sad that Josh is friends with her
And then apparently it's awkward that they go
Well that guy vetoes a pedophile
And he goes no no he's great
He should go on his podcast
I would like to convince Chrissy Mayer
He's literally a pedophile
I'm not literally a pedophile
And she can come on our comedy podcast
Wait wait wait what does that look like
What is convincing somebody
On a pedophile
You do this shit like
Here are two kids
Yeah you got a lady
You're both gonna sit on one knee
The electrodes
You're free to check my boner
At any time
I'm not even close
To sexually excited
I won't even wear pants
So you can observe the boner
At any time
Sit the kids down
Do you ever wind up
In a situation
You saw the video of the guy
That walks up to the black dude
Who's the salesman,
and he's like, hey, we're here to, you know, we talked to your neighbors, but he says the N-word.
Do you ever think you've got the kids there, and you're thinking, like, don't get a boner, don't get a boner?
I wouldn't even have to think it, because it wouldn't happen.
Can you get certified by, like, the city by doing that?
I think there should be a city, a non-pedophile certified.
We should start that, there should be.
No, we are not Starting that
No I'm gonna start
The deep pedophile
Certification
So you go
I have a certificate
Don't call it deep pedophiling
What do I call it then
Not pedophile
Again
Welcome to Not Pedo
The organization
That will 100%
Scientifically determine
Whether or not
You're a pedophile
This is a Nathan
For you lost episode
It really is
On your twitter account Instead of getting The check mark If you don't Everyone thinks whether or not you're a pedophile. This is a Nathan for you lost episode. It really is.
On your Twitter account, instead of getting the checkmark.
If you don't, everyone thinks he's a pedophile.
So what I'm going to do. Ten naked children.
And then on Twitter, you get a little verified badge that says you don't touch kids.
You never would.
And you don't want to.
And you don't want to.
That's the most important part of it.
If she hears this now, she's definitely going to know you're not a pedophile, okay?
Like, who would even suggest such an idea?
I'm just saying.
If they were just so sure.
Now I want one of their guys, one of their close friends to be a pedophile.
Yeah.
So that I can shove it in their face, you know?
Oh, no.
Right?
He's doing the test, but somebody else pops a boner on the show.
Yeah, and I don't like that they put that idea in my head.
Like, now I'm rooting for kids to get molested.
I don't know if that's what you want to be admitting to rooting on the show.
Nah.
Are we on DLive right now?
Where does this show go out to?
Yeah, we're raking in lemons, right?
We're on Cozy TV, actually.
Oh, gotcha.
Okay, okay, all right. I. Oh, gotcha. Okay, okay.
All right.
I just think, especially with the internet,
it seems like there's a lot of bad blood in these communities.
You're talking about Destiny, though.
Yeah, you can say that.
What about your war with Eric July?
That's like the most bad blood anybody could have ever made.
Yeah, but like, you're right.
Well, That's complicated
By the way
This house that we're in right now
Is paid for by
Bad Blood
I know it is
Well that's the thing
You're
You legendarily have bad blood
But like
I feel like
Bad Blood
It should be like
Just between those people
Like it doesn't
Oh, it affects you
It shouldn't extend out
To be like
Casting
You know
Like I would never tell you you can't hang
out with X and X or whatever
else. You can tell me that, I don't care.
Yeah, but you're not going to do it.
Probably not. No. But no, that's true.
Listen. Unless I want to cancel plans.
Yeah, you want to hang out with somebody.
I can't have lunch with you in Culver City today.
People expect you to do that though. People will do shit like that.
I don't want you to hang out with that guy. Okay, you don't have to hang out with us
if I, yeah.
Yeah.
Do you get that?
People like constantly requesting you.
I'm the last person anybody would.
Because you're so much more famous than I am.
Well, and yeah.
And because usually I'm the guy that they don't want people hanging out with.
I'm usually the one about you.
I'm usually the one being like, you hanging out with Destiny?
Don't talk to me.
Okay.
Really?
Really?
You fuck off.
Get the fuck out of here.
That was the fakest. Well, I don you fuck off fuck out of you. That was the fake
No shot not I
Mean I guess I get it cuz you know you are like, you know
You've probably amassed a ton of enemies at this point, but we all go back and but I'm not
I don't think it was like Nazi ish, you know, like to the point where I'm like gonna be like, oh yeah
But some people like don't even him being on the show is like yeah toxic can't I mean I don't even know what it's called
I know you guys have words for this shit. I'm just gonna say after this segment
It's not helping the pedophile allegations against me
I will say that and the Nazi shit actually true, but there's pedophile allegations against everybody. There's a whole other thing
Yeah, it's like it's like the new me too right everybody's me too and everybody you can't find the male rapist anymore
Pedophiles may be among us. No it's great great. No, no. Because everybody's a pedophile.
Me three. Jesus.
It's a great time to be a pedophile. You can just go,
what?
What? Because I wear Balenciaga?
When I tell you upstairs,
I tell you upstairs, they will stick on him.
I'm not saying that I am. I'm saying
other pedophiles are thinking that.
Yeah, yeah. Do you have any kids?
No. Oh, damn.
Someday I'll find some.
I can imagine your three-year-old.
That's not a BDSM outfit.
It's a... Anyway.
Are you going to adopt?
You want to adopt kids, though, right?
No, no.
I want all my own kids.
Well, for him, it would be adopting.
I think they call it trafficking.
Trafficking.
You don't want to traffic children.
You're going to make a bunch of kids with a very beautiful woman.
It's going to be great.
Yeah.
What kind of bad-blo blood are you talking about specifically?
Well, I mean, I started thinking about it on this show
because I was excited we got Destiny.
And I was like, I wonder what my friend Mr. Girl will say.
Oh, no.
You got to look him in the eyes while you're doing him like this.
No, but I'm not doing him like that
because I think this is an example.
Is he doing me or Mr. Girl right now?
I don't know who's getting done.
I don't think anyone's getting done.
I think actually this is an example Is he doing me or Mr. Girl right now? I don't know who's getting done I don't think anyone's getting done I think actually this is an example of how it should go
Because I think we can
I can
Is this like a sit down?
Like an Italian mafia
Shake down right now?
No like a sit down
Now I'm starting to wonder
Is he going to walk through that door?
Is that what we're doing?
We're not doing any gotchas on the show
Surprise
That'd be funny as fuck though
Well I am famously known.
I think I introduced Mr. Girl to Dick's show and to his audience.
Yeah.
Because I've been a big fan.
And I guess I'm also disappointed because I really liked when you guys found each other.
I was like, this is exciting.
Yeah.
And I'm sad that bad blood has occurred.
Let's not rewrite history.
We didn't find each other.
Okay.
Okay.
I pulled him up from the! You lifted him up!
The nothingness and I
endowed on him a career. Let's be clear there.
Yeah, well that's why I'm sad that it's uh, it's ended in what feels like-
Did you identify him as an abuse victim? Is that why you pulled him up like that?
I did, I felt bad. No, his content is good. I'll be clear. It is- he is good.
I hope that once he's done with his obsession over finding my hypothetical rape victims that uh
Hopefully he goes back to making thought-provoking and interesting content.
See that's the thing is that he makes such great videos.
He does.
And even you will say that.
Although I'll say it, I look at him a little bit differently now.
I know you do and that's what makes me, that's why this is a problem for me.
I'll watch videos and I'll be, man you know if any other person said that.
If anybody else said that I'd have some weird thoughts videos and I'll be, man, you know, if any other person said that.
If anybody else said that, I'd have some weird thoughts about it.
But it's Max, you know?
And now it's like, oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Like, there's still a part of me that, like, secretly hopes that it's just going to, like, wash away and everything's going to be fine.
But I don't think it's going to happen. Hard to wash this one away.
It's going to be hard to wash this one away.
But I've got exes who, I have an ex-girlfriend, she lives in Sweden, she has a whole family now,
and she's DMing me and she's like, hey, just curious.
And I'm like, did you get a message from Mr. Curly?
Oh, no!
And I'm like, and I'm like, and that's the, that was the most,
and I'll get like professional contacts from like 10 years ago.
Yeah.
He's like, like decent, do you know who Hafu, like big, like decent sized industry figures in like these worlds.
And I'm like, hey, do you know who this guy is?
He's contacting me saying you have a pattern of abuse with women.
And I'm like, okay, listen, okay?
It sounds bad, but.
I'm not happy that this is what's happened because I was so excited at the outset.
I'm like, this is a great.
Do you agree with it?
All like the power differential shit?
I don't know what's going on and I'm staying out of it.
Wow.
And that's my line.
There he is.
Yeah, that busted Tim Poole today.
Yeah, you know what? He won't say who it is. Let fence sitter. And that's my line. There he is. Yeah, that busted Tim Poulton. Yeah, you know what?
He won't say who it is.
Let's walk.
Let's walk.
But that's,
but like,
what am I supposed to do?
What is my moral obligation
when he's my friend?
Like, am I?
Have you guys
eaten dinner before?
Yes.
We went to high school together.
Oh yeah,
they've known each other.
They've known each other
I've known him my entire life.
Holy shit.
You might be farming
my shit right now for a condom shit You might be farming My shit right now
For a condom
You might be part of
The investigation
I know I was on
Fucking trial right here
I'm from the dick mansion
You're not on trial
Can we erase the trial part
That we talked about earlier
No nothing is happening
It's going straight to the cloud
You can't erase it
It's like Milo's high time
I emailed you at the outset
And I said I'm so happy
You're talking to him
I don't know if you remember
This one email
Where it said
Because I think he's so talented I'm so excited To see him get a break And then I'm so happy you're talking to him. I don't know if you remember this one email where he said, because I think he's so talented, I'm so excited to see him get a break.
And then I'm sad that this is happening.
Well, it is exciting.
Yeah.
But don't think this is like a gotcha on you.
It's okay.
It's all good.
I've been set up before.
It is funny what he's doing.
No offense.
See, that's the problem.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but it is funny.
It is funny when he's like adding Rowan Farrow.
It is pretty funny. It is pretty funny. Some of it. I see the humor in that. That but it is funny. It is funny when he's like, adding Rowan Farrow. It is pretty funny.
It is pretty funny.
Some of it.
I see the humor in that.
That's a little funny.
There is a girl,
God bless her,
because I'm cool with everybody now,
Ari Nina, OnlyFans girl.
Oh.
And she sends me a message
from her OnlyFans messages,
and I guess he subscribed.
So it's like the automated message.
It's like,
if you want to see my titty,
$4 here, and then beneath it, he it he's like hello this is the only way I
contact you my name is mr. girl and I'm an abuse victim and I'm like so I guess
what I'm saying is that we invited here call my kids mom and I'm like I need you
to check Nathan's account so Are there any messages in there?
That's abuse victim shit.
I have not brought you here to throw you under the bus or confront you or anything weird. I didn't even brought you here.
What?
I said, well, whatever.
I'm just saying, I'm clarifying.
This is not a weird gotcha or whatever.
You're like a raw nerve.
No one would ever believe that you set anybody up for anything.
This is not the only bad blood situation that's going on.
It's just one that... Just the one you had in mind when you
chose this topic. When I originally came up with it, when I was thinking
about... Well, Destiny and I had bad blood at one
point. Yeah, I think so. Well, we've talked
about it on this show. We've talked about it, and I've
said I'm really not happy that this is what
has happened. And
uh... Yeah. I wish
there was a way to turn it back and have everybody be friends
again, but obviously it can't happen.
You and I?
Yeah, what was it over?
The first time...
Trump.
You called Trump a racist, and I was like, uh...
Yeah, you guys had bad blood, that's true.
But then we were on PKA.
Dude, I...
Listen.
We got parent-trapped.
I love the PKA guys, okay?
They're great.
The show with you was really fun.
Yeah.
But I hate the format that there's no topic list.
Yeah.
Because I'll have, I think I've had two really good shows where it's been fun.
A lot of people say that.
Yeah, but then sometimes I go on and there's nothing for me to engage on and I'm like,
I don't know what the fuck I'm-
I don't know about TV.
I don't know about MMA.
Like, I just know fucking nothing.
It's like the hockey talk and I'm like, okay.
I don't know, guys.
On the Sega a long time ago, I played one where you could fight with the sticks and
that's about all I know.
NHL 95.
Yeah. And then I just get drunker because I don't know what they. On the Sega a long time ago, I played one where you could fight with the sticks, and that's about all I remember. NHL 95. And then I just get drunker because I don't know what they're talking about, and I make such an ass of myself.
I've never gone on PQ.
I was supposed to go on at some point.
Oh, no.
Who's the guy that we had on?
Taylor.
Taylor.
You got to talk to Chizrag.
Chizrag is there.
Chizrag.
Chizrag.
Yeah.
Okay, well well that's
Regardless it has been
A detriment in my life
There's other people
Who I won't name
Who have told me
Which streamer shows
I'm allowed to appear on
If I want to remain
Their friend
Okay hold on
You should have named
The people
Wait who
Name who
I can't cause like
They don't want
I like
How many friends
Does he fucking have
No offense
But are there so many
Big streamers
Destiny no offense taken Who What there so many big snow?
destiny no offense taken
The other B and C Lister podcast
Yeah, you did and I was listening right now. He knows your reference No, if I say it, he'll tell me and I'll yell at me cuz I don't know
I can't imagine tiptoeing around friends like that and I would kill myself if I had to think about the only guy
I'm afraid somebody yelling at you. He's the only guy- Why are you so afraid of somebody yelling at you?
He's the only guy I do it for.
Okay.
Because-
Wow, so it's just one.
What the fuck?
You're exclusive to-
I have loyalty to that guy.
I mean if you really-
Not really though, cause you hinted at it a little bit, so now people are gonna guess.
If you really said to me, don't go on somebody else's show, I wouldn't do it.
Jesus.
Somebody else's show?
But I would hate it, cause I don't like these somebody else's show, I wouldn't do it. Jesus. Somebody else's show. But I would
hate it. And I, cause I don't like these bad blood situations. Okay. You're just very sensitive,
man. Well, there are certain, you know, like if you are like sincerely feuding with someone and
I'm your co-host, like it doesn't make sense from a business perspective. Like Howard Stern
doesn't let his guys go on Jay Leno. Like that makes sense. I think it depends on the type of feud.
Yeah.
Like, if it's over some dumb internet shit, then whatever.
I almost blacklisted...
Or a woman.
Well, depends.
If somebody, like, stole your wife.
It'd probably be more serious.
It'd be upsetting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, like, if it's...
Like, I almost blacklisted Max and Lav for a while,
where I wouldn't be on any show, or I blacklist anybody had anything to do with them because he
Was like digging into my fucking personal. That's fucking weird, but I eventually I changed my mind like fuck it
Whatever, but like I could see for some crazy things. That's noble of you though to do that. That was a noble of what?
Well it's noble to say I understand that you other streamers have to exist and I can't police everybody who has whatever on them.
Oh no hold on, hold on. It's because I stopped caring. It's not because I'm noble. Alright! Streamers have to exist, and I can't police everybody who has whatever on them.
Hold on.
It's because I stopped caring.
It's not because I'm noble.
All right.
Please, I'm sorry.
Don't mistake that for charity or care, because I would absolutely fuck over other streamers.
This is my personal shit, okay?
Let's be real, okay?
You don't have a right to my platform, okay?
Well, not to your platform, but to their...
Yeah, I get it.
I get it.
Okay.
All right.
Here's how you, in bad blood, like, just say like whatever i don't care yeah true i want
more mr go could do that i want more he's be like you know what i but there is like i think it's
when life ruination is going on that i understand people setting boundaries when people feel that
their lives are you know like their own lives Not other people's lives. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I run on those scenarios.
Okay. Either way,
Chrissy Mara, come on, biggest problem. Let's bury the hatchet.
Maybe I'm the
pedophile. You and your stupid... Maybe you had it wrong
the whole time, you dumb bitch.
Okay, go ahead, Destiny.
Do you have a problem? My biggest problem is
Elon Musk. For a variety
of reasons, okay?
Number one, and really this is the only reason,
is because he hasn't unbanned me yet from Twitter.
Bro.
I'm seeing people getting unbanned from like the fucking-
All three of us.
The Fourth Reich, okay?
I'm seeing people get un-
Like fucking Stefan Molyneux is getting unbanned, okay?
Sargon of Akkad is getting-
And I'm seeing these people, I'm like, what the fuck?
I was banned-
I don't even know what the fuck I was banned for
But it was the most innocuous shit in the world
And these guys are back on the platform saying some wild
Fucking shit and he's replying to that
He is he's in the reply
What the fuck is with you a fan of these idiots
He's gotta get to us eventually though right
But I will 100% rescind that opinion
Elon
Which camera is mine please
I need to be on twitter
As soon as he announced that amnesty shit I logged into all 8 of my twitter accounts Elon, which camera is mine? Please, please unban. I need to be on Twitter.
Dude, as soon as he announced that amnesty shit, I logged into all eight of my Twitter accounts
and I did an appeal on every fucking Twitter account, and every day I wake up and I've got two more denials
and I'm like, oh no. What is he doing? How is he not unbanning everybody?
They don't even change the denial boilerplate. I know, it's the same.
I'm like, come on, can't you say we're working on it or something?
There's one fucking guy at Twitter that fucking hates me.
I know he sits in that fucking office and he's waiting for, it's his job.
He's the Destiny Hall monitor.
Yeah.
And he's waiting for him to come in and he catches him.
He gets those tickets before anybody else and he fucking denies it.
I swear to God it's personal.
It absolutely is.
I know it is.
Because my suspension reason has been upgraded every year to like something worse.
Like it started out with just like being being like violence or some retarded shit.
You know, I told Chris Reagan to eat a cinder block during an argument.
Okay.
Whatever.
And then it's gone from that to like.
It's not violent.
He could cook it.
You know, you can eat cinder blocks.
Yeah.
It's a boil it down.
It's been upgraded to like hating a specific group.
Okay.
And it's all, it's like all these groups and
gendered and disabled people and all this is like what mine is like managing
multiple Twitter accounts for abuse of her like I'm the fucking Twitter mafia
or some shit right and this guy they catch me they're really good with their
like you know Elon was like you can only stay if you've written like fucking 20
lines of code this guy is probably committed like 200 changes to the
Twitter code base just to catch my fucking alternate accounts.
I swear to fucking God. Jesus.
And now he's declaring war on
Apple, but when he said that
I was like, wait, wait, wait,
come back, let's get this account
unbanning thing. All the conservative
guys are like, yeah, yeah, now we're fucking
like, no, no, no, no, no, get your ass
back here and unban these
fucking accounts accounts you asshole
Everybody else got in except us
We're like the guys in the plane and the dark night rises where he goes to take off and he's like they expect to find one
of us in the wreckage
It is like we're like pre Cambrian Cambrian bands
So we're like I'm emailing you from Android. Okay, please unban me. I hate Apple too. Yeah
It is watching all of my
Political enemies being unbanned
Resurrected
Guys who I know are just like Ensler
And I'm like I said something stupid
About the fucking like
The Snow White movie that's coming out
Somebody was like do you think they'll put
Like a real midget in it
I'm like no because they're not going to have a retarded
Dwarf in the movie they're not going to put Dopey in the movie And they're like you said retarded You're not allowed I'm like, no, because they're not going to have a retarded dwarf in the movie. They're not going to put Dopey in the movie.
They're like, you said retarded.
I'm like, I was talking about Disney.
They wouldn't put a retarded guy in the movie.
I meant it.
I didn't mean like in a bad way.
I also, two and three, they go together.
Another reason why Elon is the biggest problem
is because he inspires the most ridiculously rabid fanboys
and the most
just unbelievably stupid haters
on both sides.
Yeah.
To some people,
he's the second coming of Jesus
and to others,
he's the second coming of Hitler.
And it's so fucking annoying
watching these people
battle each other online.
It's so fucking stupid.
I've heard people say like
he's the most brilliant
inventor of our time.
I'm like,
well,
wait, what?
I will give him credit for SpaceX
and Tesla, which are big.
How instrumental is he to those, though?
SpaceX is like rockets, but more.
Well, listen, they come back.
But he's not doing it.
They come back!
What is it? They come back!
Don't tell me! We already had a space shuttle!
What do you mean? You're fucking lying to me.
If you didn't watch that fucking rocket land back
the first time, you'd first time like that's fucking cool
I watched it once
I watched yay walk out of tin pool seven times so far
But he didn't come back
Elon made the rocket come back
I like rockets that don't come back I guess
I like rockets that don't come back
It lands it's cool
Okay so he gets props for that and Tesla everything he said about Tesla was a monumentally stupid idea.
I'm going to have so many charging stations across the U.S.
People will be able to drive my fucking car.
And the deal that he made with that board was like, if I 100x the value of this company, I get a big...
It was like the dumbest shit, and it all fucking worked out somehow.
He did, he like 100x the value of the company.
Not everything is worked out for him. Not company. Not everything is worth that far.
Not everything.
Not everything.
Maybe he's... But a good amount.
What did you think when he said, what's this country going to look like in 88 years?
Why did he say that?
Why?
Because I don't know what to think.
It's like he's trying to get on Ye's presidential candidate team or whatever the fuck.
Is that purposeful or did he just hit the keyboard and pick some random numbers?
I don't know.
It's because the article he was replying to said 88 million years.
That little monkey. Yeah. There was a little monkey and they said
it had evolved for 88 million years on its own.
There was a reason for that number. Yeah, it was in Hitler. Because I did see, you're right,
the haters are crazy where they all go, well, he's definitely talking about Hitler.
And I'm like, I don't think I can
Conclude that
Based solely on the
Number 88
So there was an article
Your point about
His reply guy thing
Is dead on
Like he
He turns
He will turn
Even the most
Like anyone
Into this simpering
Like begging
Fan of his
Who's like
Pretends to be
It's like watching guys at like uh like a high
school soccer game when their kids not or a high school football game when their kids not playing
football and they're like going over to the dad whose like son is playing and they're like well
hey so you know you know what i mean because you know this at this this culture they're like oh
yeah you know he's really out there like uh he's really got critical athlete out there like that's
the that's the feeling of cringe I get watching, like,
you know,
the internet fanboys
go to bed.
Yeah.
I think what's happening
and probably why he wants
Trump unbanned
is that he's now
the new proxy
for Trump
on that platform.
Yeah.
Because there are guys
whose entire profession is,
or at least it was,
that the second
Trump tweets anything,
they were trying to be
the first guy to reply.
Yeah.
And there's some very unintelligent guys who made entire careers out of this.
There's this one guy, David Levitt.
I don't know if you've ever seen that guy.
No.
Has made a career out of just putting his foot in his mouth.
He famously, after Ariana Grande's concert, got shot up, was making Starbucks jokes, being like,
I thought an Ariana Grande shooting was what she got at a Starbucks.
And I was like, those people just died like 15 minutes ago.
Yeah, he's like the dumbest idiot ever, but he's managed to get like half a million followers just by every time Trump posts anything.
He goes, you're a disgrace to this country.
I might know the account.
Is he the one where after Trump got banned, he tweeted like, what am I going to do now?
And there was like 5,000
He's the guy who took a picture of a Target employee
Because she wouldn't sell him a toothbrush for a penny
He went to a Target and was like
This toothbrush is a penny because that's what the code they put
When it means like put this toothbrush back
In stock
We're no longer selling it
And he's like everyone shame this 16 year old
Whatever the fuck
I only knew him because we used to compete for Magic the Gathering coverage 10 years ago.
Jesus Christ.
So I've been following his storied career.
Sounds like a little bit of bad blood.
There's a little bit of bad blood, me and David Leavitt.
Yeah, see, you're the—
You used to get the scoops.
That's great, man.
Everybody needs to have enemies.
He wrote for—
Look, I agree everybody needs enemies, and I have plenty of enemies.
If I get back on Twitter and I retweet that guy, will you let me on this show?
Yes, yes, yes.
What if I say he gave better Magic the Gathering coverage?
No, abso-fucking-lutely not.
His coverage was dog shit.
He didn't know anything about Worldwake or Zendikar.
Oh my god.
Anyway...
What's going to be your first tweet when you're back?
If you're back.
N.
That's mine.
That's mine.
The full word.
I'm going N down.
I'm going, you know what?
Free speech is alive.
Let's see it.
I thought about it.
See, if I get unbanned, I've got like eight accounts that are all going to get unbanned.
And it's just going to be-
Are you going to use the other ones?
Because I got that same thing too.
I'm going to pick like a different-
The goal is, first, I'm going to change all the phone numbers and emails on all of them
so they're not linked together anymore.
And when I'm fighting with different minorities, I'll use
a different account for different minorities.
So this is for fighting with trans people, this is for
fighting with black people, and I'll see which one
gets banned, so I can find out where the powers
that be are. Are you going to explicitly label them like
Destiny Black, Destiny Trans,
Destiny Chinese?
I'll probably figure out like
Mao's A Destiny will be the anti-Chinese
one. There you go
CCCP, Destiny
That's fun
I do like that Elon Musk used like
Government subsidies to buy
The CIA's PSYOP machine
Away from them
And use it for like his own nefarious
Purposes
Like Twitter
Yeah like he got all that money
All that billions of dollars
You mean buying Twitter
Was the CIA's
Child machine
Okay
Yeah
Their brainwashing machine
I'm not following the
Latest deep lore
No no
Like he used all the
Like the government money
And subsidies and shit
To buy Twitter from them
Like none of that money's real
Anyway
It's all like fake money
You know
Sure
Now he has it
and I'm like
well fuck
I don't know
I don't know if Twitter
is going to become
better or worse
under Elon Musk's
leadership
but if he bans me
and you
and you
then he's based
at AF
I think the scary thing
about Elon Musk
is a lot of meme power
behind the stocks
of his companies
but like
if he tweets shit
or smokes a joint
on Joe Rogan
like stock prices
go up and down
Yeah, but with Tesla and SpaceX there's real
Fundamental value to the company Tesla makes cars there's power manufacturing plants and for SpaceX
They've got rockets that come back to earth right there's real shit there
But with Twitter I think he has the ability to drive that into the ground more than he realizes
Drive what drive the value of Twitter the actual yeah the IP that like Twitter like
SpaceX and Tesla never gonna going to become worthless. It's not possible. Twitter
could have a viable product.
Twitter could be replaced. It's a
social media platform, you know? Yeah, it's not anything
like how we saw it as like a news aggregator.
Like why own one newspaper
when you can just own all of them? Sure. Like you can
own the funnel for the
filter for all of the newspapers. No, it's a way to trick
celebrities into interacting with the public and letting you shit on them.
Assuming celebrities ever actually tweet from their accounts.
I fought with James Gunn once.
Did you?
Yeah, I said he fell off.
Because he was apologizing for all his old jokes.
He had to because Cernovich got him fucking picked off.
Cancel culture for the Galaxy 2.
Jesus.
Okay, that's my problem as conservatives. Boom. So brave. Oh, my God. Thank you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you. I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you guys.
I feel like it's the 90s all over again.
And like, they don't, like, they're younger.
They haven't changed at all.
They haven't changed at all, and they're younger now.
It's like, how did you grow up?
How did you come from nothing and come to the same stupid conclusions
that other people's parents, that liberals' parents did in the fucking 90s?
Yeah, Jesus.
How did this happen?
I saw on Twitter today a guy post a screenshot from a Disney Plus show where children were holding up letters to spell Santa, but they had mixed it up and it spelled Satan.
And he goes, are we seriously showing this to our kids?
And I'm like, what the?
First of all, he said, if you don't think this is deliberate, there's something wrong with you and you're like,
Yes, it's deliberate for the sake of the joke, you fucking idiot. Yes, it's deliberate for the sake of the fucking comedy show!
You imbecile!
If you think this is a mistake from Disney, you're dead wrong. And you're like, it's a joke and the Santa Claus thing.
It's always the- and it's the stupidest fucking cons- no, no offense, it's for the Valencia shit too, okay?
Yes. Where people are thinking like- I think that is retarded! It was dumb of them to do it, but people are thinking that behind the scenes,
there's like this a lot- like we're gonna signal to pedos and Satanists in like the perfect fucking way, okay?
We're gonna get this costume and it's like, bro,
there's probably somebody that thought of some dumb edgy fucking joke, or some fucking inspired by some stupid fucking book
and they did a thing. I don't think they're secretly signaling fucking pedophiles.
And you guys are showing everybody it.
Yeah, like-
You guys are doing it not them
Like they tell me they're like this is gonna
I'm like what what do you mean that was my that was actually exactly my question earlier
So let's say that they don't point it out. Let's say the conservatives don't expose the hidden
Zooming in on the text are looking at the costumes Like god I wanna fuck a kid right now
I'm just
I'm feeling
They're communicating the idea
Exactly what I wanted to fucking see
But that's what they've always believed
Cause they believe that with music
They believed
If you listened to heavy metal
Or whatever the hell
Yes
That there were secret messages
For play Dungeons and Dragons
That would turn your kids
Into Satanists
Yeah
And you're like
This is not how the real world works
When did the switch happen with rock though Cause now when I turn on the radio and I hear rock
That's the intro to every fucking conservative program
Fucking hippie metal guys in the fucking world. Yeah, I don't know welcome to the deep state podcast
Yeah, so you guys all love it now here's Metallica
Yeah, here's Metallica exactly Trump wants to murder drug dealers.
None of them batted an eye.
Like, what are you... Trump wants to make it illegal to burn the flag.
They're all minorities, number one.
Yeah.
Well, we shouldn't burn the flag.
We shouldn't burn the flag?
We should.
Oh, yeah, shouldn't.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I misheard you.
But we also should not kill drug dealers.
Yeah.
What was the other one?
I remember the...
He said so many crazy...
We're going to kill the families of terrorists?
So pretty off the wall.
Well, I mean, if your daughter commits an act of terror.
Oh, cool.
I say that on all of my Twitter accounts.
Your account is suspended, not permitted to perform this action.
Motherfuckers.
Like, I got it.
Thank you.
I don't need to see it anymore.
This was the Satan one.
Jesus Christ.
This is from a Disney movie.
Do they really want you to think it was an honest mistake?
And then some of the replies are, I worked for Disney.
They don't make mistakes.
This is a purposeful.
And you're like, it's a joke from the Tim Allen Santa Claus TV show.
See, because they had silenced all the crazy ones.
And only the reasonable ones were around.
And honestly, I'm kind of bored of making fun of trans swimmers.
Yeah.
Like a trans woman swimmer.
What about the skateboarders?
That's interesting.
Nah, it's just the same thing with a different package.
Fair enough.
Like, it's gone.
I'm just, like, fatigued on the things that conservatives are making fun of.
So I hate them now.
I mean, it's just exhausting when you're like, can't you just...
What are the odds that a Balenciaga or whatever the fuck is like running a secret mind op campaign or B, a photographer fucked around because he thought it was like funny or edgy or stupid.
It is edgy.
Yeah, it is edgy in a bad way and it's distasteful and I get it.
But like it always leads immediately into, well, that just means Pizzagate's real.
And you're like, no, it's not.
That's not proof of anything.
I saw this one today.
This is a man, a grown up man, James Lindsay.
You know what?
Conceptual James.
I'm not going to make fun of him this one time because he tweeted that I should be on banned from Twitter.
All right.
I'm going to refrain from this section.
A sexual James gets a pass.
Thank you.
Thank you, James.
Let me see if I can bring this in.
No bad blood there.
No bad blood here.
No bad blood.
No bad blood.
He's wearing a shirt that looks like a sausage casing around.
Obviously, he hasn't been sized his shirt since COVID happened.
Pro-America, anti-communist.
Does that say based AF?
Is that the end of it?
Yeah, and it was so weird seeing this because I was like, oh, I remember you, a conservative
from when I was a kid.
I fucking hate you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's almost as if the conservatives like really fucking suck.
I mean, the liberals also suck.
That's the problem.
But.
The conservatives suck in like a weird, dumb way.
Seeing the 50th epic epic hilarious fucking SNL opening
Making fun of Trump was getting pretty fucking old
Okay
Like at some point it's like we need some better material
How do you define the difference in that like
In what?
I'm like my hatred of conservatives is different from my hatred of liberals
It is
It is
And it's hard to define what that is
It's like
Why do conservatives It's both stupidity And it's hard to define what that is. It's like, why do conservatives, like, it's both stupidity, but it's different forms of stupidity.
I don't know.
I hate, like, I hate about liberals when they make me do stuff.
And I hate about conservatives that I can't make them do stuff.
Like, I can never make that guy feel bad for wearing that shirt.
Okay, give him a shirt.
And I should be able to.
But everything you say is like, well, you know, my faith in Christ will just believe that I can wear any shirt I want.
And I'm like, why the hell would God or Christ have anything to do with your fucking dumb shirt?
That's a very good point.
It's like arguing with conservatives about them being dumb feels pointless.
It's pointless.
But if you argue with a liberal about them being dumb, you know you can hurt their feelings.
Yeah, but then they'll never leave you alone.
There's so many ways to hurt liberal feelings.
But conservatives just own it.
Like, you're not educated.
I know.
Education is for brainwashing.
Yeah, education is gay.
Jesus didn't go to college either.
True.
It's like, okay, well, fuck.
I studied in the Church of God.
Yeah.
That's the only book I need.
What did you say about it?
Did you ever read it?
No. Have you read a single
study in your life? Studies are gay.
Yeah. They are gay. That's the problem.
Fuck me. It's the brick wall.
That's true. It's the inability to get
them. You can't get
them on anything. No.
I was arguing with some Nazi guy and he's like
well what about this? And I'm like well that's a fake
article. That's a fake article. You made that up.
And he just goes yeah whatever groomer. And I'm like do you, that's a fake article. That's a fake article. You made that up. And he just goes,
yeah,
whatever groomer.
And I'm like,
do you not want to like,
do you not want to address the fact that I've given you sources for like all of these being fake and having made up like nosy Steinberg wrote the fucking article.
And he's like,
no,
that's a real guy.
I'm sure.
Yeah.
Nosy Steinberg.
Yeah.
One of the most popular journalists out there.
Nosy.
Jesus Christ.
You're like,
you can, you, you know, it's fake. And they just go, yeah, whatever. Call me. Yeah. There's noberg. Yeah, one of the most popular journalists out there. Nosy. Jesus Christ. You're like, you know it's fake.
And they just go, yeah, whatever.
Call me a guru.
Yeah, there's no effort.
Yeah, you'll be like, oh, well, here's something from nature.
Here's the New England Journal of Medicine.
They'll be like, okay.
But have you seen www.vaccinesareforfuckingfake?
Like, whatever.com.
And it's like, oh, well, you know, fuck me.
My bad.
I actually missed that in my research.
I'm so sorry.
There are some things. I didn't even watch the newsletter. I'm so sorry. There are some things that they have done.
Truth or stopping the pedo menace.orgophile.
Jesus Christ.
Fine, you're right. We all lose.
You give them some, check out the seventh fucking pornographic video of Hunter Biden I want to show you.
It's like, did you see the last one where he was getting his dick sucked?
Yes, yes exactly!
You are obsessed!
You think about Hunter Biden's cock more than the fucking prostitutes he fucks does.
Holy shit!
Uh, their porn obsession is borderline pathological.
And it is constant.
We gotta get, it's ruining the country.
It's ruining the country. It's like, alright man, that's uh, okay.
How do you know? Well, it's ruining my life because I'm watching it obsessively.
Yeah, the obsession with porn.
Or is it the obsession with the obsession with porn?
I'm not sure which is worse at this point.
What are you doing while you're ranting about it and, like, getting other guys to rant about it?
Like, I don't like, this is weird.
I know what's weird and what's not weird, and this is weird.
I'd rather be at a furry convention.
Yeah, well, they're more fun.
Anyway, that's my problem.
Conservatives,
they cause the student debt problem
that they're always
ranting about
because we're on drugs.
How unpopular
are the two people
that led those lawsuits
to get the student loan shit stopped?
Can you imagine being that?
I think it was a woman with one of them,
like, hiding, going in and out of cars,
and every motherfucker's looking at you
with student loans.
Like, what?
Like, imagine being their kids.
Do they have kids?
Why did your mom have to?
Why did your mom do that?
Why didn't your mom take all that free money away from them?
Why didn't you do something about that?
Wasn't the PPP loans
Like that was fine
The lady who did it
Oh yeah
The ones that got like
Fifty thousand dollars
And yeah
Jesus
Yeah same girl
That's wild
I love those though
Keep them coming
More PPP loans
I'm ready for a
Reload on that shit
I saw
You were talking about
Getting a PPP loan
And the quartering
Said
He was like
Criticizing you For getting one But didn't he end up He must have gotten them getting a PPP loan and the quartering said he was like criticizing you for
getting one but I didn't he ended up he must have gotten them I don't know he
was criticizing you know I'm like what the fuck in California I'm pretty sure
my taxes are higher than 45% of fucking Europe okay you better fucking believe
in the government's gonna give me any of that money back cuz they're obviously
not doing anything with it cuz I still drive by 50 million fucking homeless people every day.
I still scrape my bumper coming out of every single fucking gas station.
Okay, I got rolling blackouts.
I got forest fires everywhere.
I'm living in fucking hell over here.
And they're taking 48% of my fucking money.
You better believe I'm gonna reach with my dying hand to get that $20,000 back from those PPP loads, okay?
It's not even real.
They just
made numbers in a database.
Why would I not take it? What the
fuck kind of thinking is that?
That's conservative thinking.
That's conservative thinking. And I'm supposed
to not so that fucking American
Airlines can have another $25,000
for their... But they can have that anyway.
There's no exhausting
imaginary numbers. Anyway, that's my problem, conservatives. I should have that anyway. There's no there's no exhausting imaginary numbers
Anyway, that's my problem conservatives. I should have got a PPP loan. You should have fucked up your magic
Yeah, you know I could have invested hard, you know
What you might invest in it because if it was in a crypto not
I'd be boogie right now talking about my blood cancer
Wait, oh, no I'm so sorry does he?
No don't
What kind of cancer?
Pancake cancer
It's the good cancer he's fine
His obesity will kill him before his cancer
His obesity will kill him before his cancer
He got cancer from injecting himself with testosterone for his, uh, uh, fatness.
Trust me, all the objections to Dick making fun of Boogie's cancer have-
Now see, if it would have been-
Why do you have a horn for Boogie's cancer? Like, this is not a good bit.
I have a regular horn.
Oh my god.
But then someone gave me a- someone gave me a fatter horn for Boogie.
I don't like that we have a boogie horn. I feel like-
If it was fucking leukemia, we could have looped it back around to the bad blood.
He doesn't have any bad blood cancer! It's blood cancer!
He has bad blood. It's blood cancer!
Boogie has the baddest blood of all.
I will say it was funny because I think the last video, it felt like a fucking- like a Tim and Eric skit.
I got crypto!
I'm rich! I'm a big
man! I got
$7,000! I'm fucking ready to
go! I got a new fucking car!
I'm ready to...
Will you shut the fuck up?
One year later, you guys, you're not
gonna believe this!
You're not gonna believe this one! So you know the crypto
investments.
So anyway.
Remember when I wasn't going to kill myself?
Well, update on that scenario.
I'm going back to killing myself again.
You know, books aren't the only thing with chapters.
My favorite line from Clone High.
I've watched the first two thirds of the MC Hammer behind the music.
And as I've learned, the money never runs out.
The money runs out boogie
and uh
what do you think about crypto
I love it it's hilarious
I love watching
it's like every fucking
every conversation with a libertarian
if you follow it long enough involves them
rebuilding the government inevitably right
how do you resolve disputes between people? Well,
eventually you probably need a third party that you're
giving monopoly force over to blah blah blah.
And watching the crypto world slowly
relearn why it might be a good idea
to have some kind of financial protections in place
as the 57th massive
crypto exchange collapses.
Smart contracts will do that.
Shut the fuck up.
You're going to scam me?
Excuse me.
My invoice is on the Ethereum chain, okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
That's actually digitally protected.
It's been peer-reviewed.
It's been audited by Certec.
How many white papers have you read, actually?
Dick compels all his money out of FTX, but doesn't tell all his buddies to maybe do the same.
I don't give investment advice.
Oh, all right.
Fair enough. I've missed every collapse by. Oh, all right. Fair enough.
I missed every collapse by like hours.
Oh, shit.
By like six hours.
Voyager, FTX, Celsius.
Yeah.
Luna, too.
Luna was, I lost some in Luna because I was too drunk to do the trade.
Yeah, that's true.
I didn't get burned too badly.
I still got, what, 800 bucks in chain link tied badly I still got what 800 bucks in Chainlink
Tied up on Voyager
800 bucks
Yeah
You gotta dump in
On Chainlink man
I had dumped in
But then they announced
They were whatever withdrawals
And I started pulling
Everything out
Okay
What are our problems
Our problems are
Bad blood
Okay
Elon Musk
Elon Musk
We didn't get to talk
About him enough
And There's so much to say Conservatives I don't get to talk About him enough And
There's so much to say
Conservatives
I don't want to
Shit on Elon too much
Just in case
Word gets back to him
You know
You know what
I'm not going to be
Grateful at all
If you get on Ben
My first tweet's going to be
Fuck you Elon Musk
No
Fuck your kid
That died in your hand
No
Excuse me
It didn't even die
In his hands though
It died in his wife's hands
And she tweeted Actually it died in my hands So though. It died in his wife's hands, and she tweeted,
actually, it died in my hands, so fuck you.
What does that matter?
I bet there was probably some passive.
He probably touched the kid.
Like, stolen valor.
No, the kid had a little life left in him.
I might as well have died in my hands.
Do you think they're there, and they're like,
well, I want it to die in my hands.
I want it to die in my hands.
Like, were they holding you over that? Probably. I mean, you want to well, I want it to die in my hands. I want it to die in my hands. Was there some fighting over that?
Probably.
I mean, you want to be able to say your kid died in your arms.
That's a cool thing to be able to say.
What the fuck?
Well, I mean, if your kid's going to die, you want to at least be able to have a cool little story about it.
And as I watched the life drain from him, I knew he was ascending to a diamond crystal prison in Quadrant Alpha or whatever the fuck.
Or whatever Elon Musk believes.
You think he snuck the ashes of that kid on that Tesla that he launched into space?
No.
Oh, because they don't have ashtrays.
They don't have ashtrays.
That's showing your age a lot.
I remember every single car had an ashtray.
Yeah, and airplanes.
Oh, I didn't remember that.
You were not around for airplanes having ashtrays.
I was around for smoking on airplanes, motherfucker.
No, bullshit.
Look it up.
That's crazy.
All right.
You want to hang out for some super chats?
Yeah, sure.
Is that your good time?
All right.
Thanks, man.
Well, thanks for everybody for coming by.
Don't forget, we got Biggest Problem bonus episodes available at patreon.com slash biggest
problem.
We just recorded the biggest problem in Christmas.
That was so low energy, though.
I thought it was good.
It was good, but it was very...
It's an easy listening.
Well, Destiny brought the energy, I think.
Yeah.
Wait, this was low energy?
No, our bonus episode.
Our bonus episode was an easy listen, but if you want to check that out...
An easy listen.
It's an easy listen.
Right?
It sounds crappy. It was such a great
Dreams anymore
God damn it are you gonna be friends with Nick Fuentes again? Do you think 20?
He'll come crawling back
Loses interest in his project in like a month or two.
He'll be back streaming.
I don't think that Ye collaboration is going to stick around.
Oh, you know.
And I also want to remind people, please vote on the problems at biggestproblem.show.
All of today's problems are available on the leaderboard.
Vote them up or down according to your whims.
What's one nice thing about Nick Fantas?
Participate in the show.
One nice thing about Nick Fantas. Yeahate in the show One nice thing about Nick Fuentes Yeah
Not like a bad
He's loyal to his friends
Oh, okay
I love watching him run off the podcast
To make sure his good friend
I don't know if that was loyalty
I think that was
Like pure animal terror
That was loyalty
That was a puppy going
Master's running off
Oh
You guys are so jealous
Both of you
Yeah, I'm jealous of Nick Fuentes
You are
Fuentes Fuentes.
Fuentes.
Fuentes.
What, like a real compliment, not with a snarky rejoinder.
A real compliment.
Yeah, about Nick Fuentes. I already said he's got great comedic timing.
Not destiny.
Well, I'm helping as well.
The intros to his show are really cool.
There you go.
I sat and watched like 30 minutes of him when he was baiting for fucking
yay to be on his dog shit fucking podcast.
What does he play for an intro?
Like clips?
See, that's another intro.
You put an insult on to it.
Oh, Jesus.
Okay.
Hold on.
You're really bad.
You're really bad at complimenting.
You're really bad at this.
He's very charismatic.
There you go.
Okay.
All right.
For a Nazi.
All right, Tashneet.
God damn it. Well, they're the most charismatic. They are the most charismatic. Okay. All right. He is. For a Nazi. All right, Tess. I mean, God damn it.
Well, they're the most charismatic.
They are the most charismatic.
That's the problem.
You don't have much else going for you when you're a Nazi.
They dress good and they speak well.
I don't get why it's like Holocaust denial is like a Nazi thing.
Like that.
Wouldn't it be the opposite?
What, Holocaust embrace?
Would they want to take credit for it?
Yeah.
It'd be like.
Actually, it wasn't six million.
We killed 15.
We killed way more than that.? Yeah, they'd be like... Actually, it wasn't six million. We killed 15, god damn it.
Yeah, wouldn't it be like...
You're forgetting all the trans and all the gays and all the...
All right, you're fine.
You guys get eight.
If you were a Nazi back in the day, it would be like, no, we're not doing that.
It's like, get out of here.
What are you talking about?
You're not a Nazi anymore.
Okay.
What a great show.
Koof for two.
Thank you all for not killing yourselves.
Another great week of being alive.
Carafro for 10. Let's go. John Riff for 10. Destiny. Thank you all for not killing yourselves. Another great week of being alive. Carafro for ten.
Let's go.
John Riff for ten.
Destiny, thank you for making Fuentes huge.
It's all thanks to you.
He had no fans before meeting his biggest fan.
Yay.
True.
Very true.
I'm glad I could be the love doctor there.
Hey, man, Sneeko.
I got them both connected.
Oh, yeah.
Sneeko is cool, too.
David Gomez for five.
Praise Allah.
We pray now.
But how does Destiny feel about the negative impact illegal immigration has on the black community? We didn't forget to ask you that, too. David Gomez for five. Praise Allah, we pray now. But how does Destiny feel about the negative impact illegal immigration has on the black community?
We didn't forget to ask you that, Destiny.
What's the joke?
Jesse Lee Peterson.
Do you care about the negative effects of illegal immigration on black people?
What a question.
See, he does so many famous appearances that he doesn't even remember his famous appearances.
That's a deep cut.
Seth Schott, inshallah.
I don't know if we're doing a call to prayer today, guys.
David Gomez for two.
I'm starting.
Hashtag release all the stand-up.
I am editing it together now.
The live show, we did stand-up.
Okay.
And we're going to put it on there.
Axel Suave for two.
Release the stand-up.
Cameron's content up for five.
Release all the stand-up.
Axel Suave. Not Suave stand-up. Axel Suave.
Not Swayve.
Swayve.
Axel Swayve.
What did I say?
Swayve.
Swayve.
Close enough.
Swayve.
Swayve.
I got there.
Go up.
I got it.
Axel Suave again for ten.
Release all the stand-up.
All right.
Jared Wickersham for ten.
Release all the stand-up.
Those comics didn't want their jokes to die.
They shouldn't have told them.
I don't know if I...
Do you know this thing with stand-up comedians?
You're not supposed to post their material because then you're burning it because then
they might do a show later and somebody heard the joke they already did.
I can kind of understand that, but damn, in the world of cell phones, that feels inevitable.
Yes.
Like you would have to collect phones at the door to keep that show.
This is why stand-up is dying.
Which Chappelle did and it was awesome.
I went to Chappelle at the Hollywood Bowl and and they give you, like, little bags that
were magnetically sealed.
But these lower-end comics.
They made the show so much better.
I don't know.
They've got to get over it.
Evil Fossil for a big 55-55 says, Destiny is my candidate with a happy face thing.
Nice.
Cosmic Doggeran for two.
Dick loves laughter slaughter.
And he used those things to spell them together.
Evil Fossil for 1111.
Happy face.
Dwab Winkle for 20.
Don't catch you guys live enough, but you guys are great.
Remember to give half of this to Mr. Girl.
Not happening.
Not going to happen.
Mr. Drunko for five.
Very cool hat, Vito.
Thank you.
I have my Mega Man hat
Shut up
I just needed a hat
It's a good hat
Butthole Weeb for two
Tell the LAPD
That Masterson
Eats Mealy B-hole
Butthole
Okay
Helios for five
My three favorite men
A hippie
A Factorio YouTuber
And a cat PETA
Wonderful
Riley for 50
Vito you should really wrestle
Tony from Hack the Movies
While you are both
Still in your prime
Oh that was from Mint Salad
We love Mint
Thank you Mint
Kyle Baxter for 5
You should
What do you think about
Wrestling Tony from Hack the Movies
I'm not wrestling Tony
From Hack the Movies
What about wrestling anybody
You just proposed that
I could maybe be talked
Into a wrestling promotion
So Ralph is doing
This Wrestlemania
Ralph-a-mania
Ralph-a-mania
Are they
What are they
Don't act like it's not A perfect portmanteau Alright Ralph-a-mania Ralph-a-mania. Ralph-a-mania. Are they, what are they? Don't act like it's not a perfect portmanteau.
What is Ralph-a-mania?
Ralph-a-mania is good.
What are they going to be doing?
Is it like a real wrestling match?
Well, when you say real, like, because real wrestling is scripted, are they going to?
Well, it's quasi-scripted.
Like, there's going to be like, I think he's teaming up with like an amateur wrestling league
or like a single Single A ball wrestling league
And then he's gonna work in bits
For the show like Alex Stein is wrestling
A woman or something like that
I think there is an element
Of Ralphamania
In it but it's being
He's paying guys to dress up like heels
Like the scary Israeli
And they'll come
You know
Oh I don't know
I'm just guessing
I don't know
I don't know if someone's
Gonna like break their neck
I know it's legit
I might break my neck
You're not gonna wrestle
Are you wrestling
Well I
You're just gonna
You'll probably get roped into it
I feel like you've suffered
So many injuries
Over the past couple years
I think it's gonna be
A bunch of amateur guys
And they're all gonna end up dead
And uh Hey We can ask for a better show Yeah You're not gonna buy a ticket Over the past couple years I think it's going to be A bunch of amateur guys And they're all going to end up dead And Hey
We can ask for a better show
You're not going to buy a ticket
To watch
Maybe Kanye will be there
Is Ralph going to wrestle
Or is he going to commentate
He's going to commentate
I don't think he's going to wrestle
I hope not
I don't know
I do want to see the lineup
Kyle Baxter for five
Good evening guys
Good to see you all again
Hope you're having a nice holiday season
We are
Mike Hunt for five
Biggest problem is no plastic dividers
Between plane seats
to stop the spread,
but really it's to stop people of size
spilling under your seat.
As a fat man, I agree.
I would wish I had better ways
to contain my girth.
Like a cubby for you guys.
I'll bring like a backpack
and use it to create dividers
for myself.
Pop quiz for 20.
I hate change.
I don't know what the fuck that means.
Mexi-man and cheese for 20.
Shout out to the fan whose car was stolen at the live show.
Steve was locking up the Mexi-club guy walks up to us sad and confused.
Told us he couldn't find his car.
I had to go, but hope it worked out.
Jesus.
Wait, at our live show, somebody's car got stolen?
I guess.
How?
Oh, that sucks.
I'm sorry. Logan Lee. I don't know. But does he mean Ralph's live show? I don't know? Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry.
Logan Lee.
I don't know.
But it doesn't mean Ralph's live show.
I don't know.
No, ours.
Logan Lehman's for five.
Glad I could finally catch a live episode.
All five to Vito's Q-tip fund.
Absolutely.
CG five.
Vito talks about Mr. Girl like a battered wife.
Like I'm the battered wife or he is?
You're the battered wife. I am the battered wife and that's it.
Absolutely.
Because I want everyone to love him.
And then he does things where they clearly don't.
He tries to like ruin their life.
I don't want to get into it.
I don't want to.
I know it's a whole thing.
Don't you think that's a little far for like a woman?
I think.
It reminds me of the,
it reminds me of the Bill Burr on some fucking TV show.
What were they talking about?
They're like,
it's horrible.
What happened with the Catholic church shit or something? And he was like, I thought the horrible part was the child rape or whatever. It's like, I'm like a TV show. What were they talking about? They're like, it's horrible. What happened with the Catholic church shit?
Or something.
He was like,
I thought the horrible part was the child rape or whatever.
I'm like a morning show.
Yeah, I was like,
yeah, that is probably
the worst part, yeah.
Dwab Winkle for five.
The little same
non-specific ethnicity guy
turning lights red for Destiny
is denying his unbanned.
I bet he is.
He's working on it.
Jack Rockstar for five.
Glad Sean's Twitter account
is coming back, but none of these problems are as big as yellow dry on it. Jack Rockstar for five. Glad Sean's Twitter account is coming back,
but none of these problems are as big as yellow dry erase markers.
Horse McGee for five.
Destiny is pals with low-tier God.
Oh, I love that guy.
Low-tier God on an episode of The Future 2.
Stinky Poopyface for five.
This is the best podcast in the universe.
Maddox is a doo-doo head.
Got him.
Helly Hills for ten, best episode yet.
Can we get a call to prayer? I don't know if we're gonna do that.
Nah, it's not. We're gonna hit refresh.
Get your super chats in last minute,
but I want to thank everybody for coming.
Great show! Have you ever done a call to prayer,
Destiny? I don't think so.
Even though my community's called the Dally Band, maybe we should.
Islamic call to prayer?
Let me just fire it up.
Let me just see if it's... This is not a good bit. Call to prayer Let me just fire it up Let me just See if it's This is not a good bit
Let me just fire it up
Call to prayer
Islamic
Call to prayer
Why do you not bookmark it?
Because I never think
I'm going to do it again
Because it's so offensive
And we do it again
Every time
Well the fans seem to love
Oh wow
There's a lot more
Superchats
We're getting through
We're banging through
No there's not too many
John Doe 5
Black Power Fist
For the Ralph Amell
All Hail Ralph
Sincerely the Gunt Guardian
Gunt guarding
Gunt guarding December
That's what it is
Is that what's happening?
Yep
Michael Winning for 5
Do another hour
You F slurs
No
Kara Fro for 20
Nice to meet destiny
Thanks for the laugh
Tonight's guys
Well thank you Cara
You're welcome
Rydog for five
Says play the veto's
Twitter stinger
No next week
John Doe for five
Abtruse is here
And Kerr
Get used to it
David Gomez too
There are more gays
On the show
Than not this week
And Koof for two
Thank you all
For not Killing yourselves Guys what a show We've had here today I think our the show than not this week. Koo for two. Thank you all for not
killing yourselves. Guys, what a show
we've had here today. I think our
blessed Allah would smile
upon this show
and the comedy we have brought to our audience.
What are you going to do
with this?
Don't
look at it.
Don't give me that look.
Point to Mecca right now.
Point to Mecca right now.
Point to Mecca.
Point to Mecca.
What a good comedy show we have had
at the night of the biggest problem in the universe.
He has this voice.
Very offensive.
That's not offensive.
Celebrating my favorite.
I walk right out.
You walk right out of what? I walk right out of the show.
Of Tim Pool?
To play with my Regigigastic.
I make a new Regigigastic.
We talk about Pokemon over there.
He's not a god, he's a very...
Regigigastic with Registeel, Regirock, Regidraco, Regielekia.
Thank you, Rosalind Samaras, for putting up with this bit. You can pull any energy out of your discard pile. With Registeel, Regirock, Regidraco, Regielekia.
You can pull any energy out of your discard pile.
Put it on any Pokemon you want.
One Pokemon. All right.
Any Pokemon I can get.
Only one Pokemon you can play the energy on.
Regigigas.
Regigigas.
Greatest deck in world I have.
That's pretty good.
Greatest deck in world.
I got rolling the consonants there. Greatest deck in the world.
Rolling the consonants there.
Alright, are we done?
Is that it?
I'll put up the list of our favorite supporters right there at the end.
Once again, I want to remind you guys, please
vote on the problems at
biggestproblem.show.
Do I win anything? Like if my problem was number
one? You win the satisfaction.
Yeah, you come back. Yeah's how you defend your title.
Yeah, there you go. Mr. Girl will stop.
You defeat all the allegations
if you win.
He has to come on and give a bravo.
I will say, assuming he
gets to the end of this and I'm clean, I'm like the
least rape person.
Who's been vetted that fucking hard?
Like that'll be like my,
that'll be my fucking badge of honor.
That will be my badge of honor.
I have the Mr. Girl clean.
This guy's DMing women.
I forgot I fucked.
Okay.
There are women messaging me like,
Hey,
do you,
this guy's messaging is like,
Oh my God,
is he accusing us of having sex?
Like,
well we did.
And I'm like,
Oh yeah, I guess we did.
I remember, yeah. I don't even remember half these people.
I feel like this is like a team up that you guys
have to, you brag about your sexual
exploits. Let's have this
great bit that we do where you
dredge up all these sexual encounters
I've ever had. What if he sends you a little
certificate to hang up, like Mr. Girl Verified
Clean? True. She should make that.
You could sell him. You could. I'd donate
50 bucks for one. I want one. He could have a picture of
himself on it and everything, shirtless with it.
I think it's all gonna work out. He's like the bad
guy from the Fairly Oddparents.
I feel like my parents, it's like my parents getting divorced
all over again. That's how it feels, you know?
Who's your dad? When your parents get divorced,
do they try to outuse a rapist?
Was that
before or after the court proceedings?
That period passed pretty quickly.
Yeah, that's good.
Dad was doing everything
he could to win custody.
And then he was like,
well, my kid is a virgin.
He goes, my kid...
There you go.
Just kidding.
Destiny, thank you so much
for coming by.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Vote at biggestproblem.show
and check out the bonus episode,
which we'll post later this week,
I suppose.
When are we putting up the bonus episode? Easy listening. post later this week, I suppose. When are we putting up
the bonus episode?
Easy listen.
Yeah.
It's an easy listen.
It's an easy listen.
Coast to coast.
Check out of all this, Kanye.
Like NPR is an easy listen.
Like that's good.
You want,
sometimes you want an easy listen.
What is the cross?
Smooth.
Yeah, but they don't bill it as that.
Two boobs is the crossover of fans
between NPR and this fucking show.
Okay. When you said NPR
They're looking for new crypto coins to invest in
NPR coin what's that
Comrocket coin
Only on the bonus episode
Find out how to get rich
Only on the bonus episode
Okay goodbye
Goodnight everybody