The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 68
Episode Date: December 12, 2022The War on Anonymity, The Female Dating Strategy Podcast, Hitler...
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Well, people don't realize about Twitter.
It's a big self-promotional tool, but it's also a good way to stay in touch with influential people.
Yeah.
And chicks who send you their tits.
Yeah, well, that too.
But I have guys who were following me on Twitter who I could be like, you know,
smoozing and making deals, and now none of them know who the fuck I am.
Who the fuck's this clown?
Why is he asking me for tit pics?
All right, you guys ready?
Let's do it. Okay? Let's do it.
Okay, let's do it.
Oh, yeah.
It's been a while.
It's been a while.
Biggest problem in the universe.
Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe.
The only show that ranks every problem in the universe. The only show that ranks every problem in the universe.
From conservative dudes to internet feuds.
How about that? That was from Dangerous Alcoholic.
I'm your host, Dick Masterson. Joining me as always, Peter Giswaldi.
Joining us from New York. Is that still right?
Danny Polish Chuck. Danny jokes.
How's it going, buddy?
On Twitter.
What is happening, fellas? The great Danny Polish Chuck Danny Jokes How's it going buddy? On Twitter What is happening fellas?
The great Danny Polish Chuck
Is here
I'm actually very excited Danny
I'm a big fan
Of uh
Oh thanks
I'm happy to have you on
Yeah
What's your favorite joke?
I was just telling somebody uh
I just like
What's your favorite joke of mine?
Since you're such a big fan
Oh I haven't watched your stand up honestly
I watch all the skits and everything
I love all that stuff
Yeah
Stand up I always feel like
You gotta kind of be in the crowd
To really enjoy it It is better yeah Unless it's like a special or something you've never put out a
special though right i have a special on my youtube on your youtube okay yeah youtube there
you go uh underscore danny is my youtube channel yeah that's pretty good uh who has youtube danny
without the underscore i don't know but it's not even technically my, it's so, you know how they're doing like
the handles now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's my handle.
I don't even know how to find a, like a page via a handle.
Technically my, my channel name is just my full name, but nobody could ever remember.
Is your handle at Danny?
No, it's at underscore Danny.
Yeah.
So that just means someone has Danny.
Your URL is also youtube.com slash at underscore Danny.
You know what? Yes, but if you
but no, because it says
my handle's Danny, but if you type that in, it goes to
somebody else's thing. Well, that's bullshit then.
I have no idea. Yeah.
I hate YouTube. Fuck YouTube.
Okay, you ready for the results?
We're on YouTube, though. I know, and we hate it.
And we're hoping that Elon Musk develops an
alternative like he's talking about. Yes. Yeah, me too. I think he will. I know, and we hate it. And we're hoping that Elon Musk develops an alternative like he's talking about.
Yes.
Yeah, me too.
I think he will.
I think he's going to.
Twitter is going to be like just everything.
He should.
It's a good idea.
He will.
Yeah.
I hope he goes bankrupt and gets killed or something.
He already is making Twitter blue.
It's going from $6 to $11, which is like a bizarre.
I don't need that shit.
Price change.
I paid $3 for it.
How are you getting it for $3?
Well, because I got it like when it came out you know maybe a year ago yeah yeah so I think I've been grandfathered I bought it just because you can put long
videos on that's the only reason I ever bought it Wow it's for like eight minute
video 10 videos I can stop paying for all my burner phones and all my browsers
and bullshit
that I have to use Twitter.
Okay, you ready for the problems?
I'm ready.
Last week, we had the great destiny was here.
The great destiny.
Conservatives won.
Dick wins.
Dick is the winner.
What do you think about conservatives, Danny?
I like them.
Yeah.
You like them all?
They're very necessary. Yeah. No. Do you like how they're like? It's like them all? They're very necessary
Yeah
No
Do you like how they're like
It's like cats and dogs
You need them both
Like how they think having Satan
In a Christmas movie as a joke
Is a big deal
Exactly
Like sometimes they're fun
Sometimes they're necessary
Sometimes they're over the top
I see a picture of Kylie Jenner
Covered in the blood
And they go
Well obviously a million kids are being raped
by that somehow
sure absolutely
they're good for taxes
eh they got some
pluses they bomb my enemies
who are your enemies
who are your enemies Danny
anybody who's
swarthy
you're bombing Syrians
you're Russians theyrians swarthy folks
you're Russians
they're helping with that a lot
no I'm actually Russian
you're actually Russian?
well
kind of
like my parents are from Russian
from
my parents are Russian
but they're like Russian
Jews
but they left
but yeah
they're Russian
are you pro
Putin?
fuck yeah no my family hates him so much really? They left. But yeah, they're Russian. Are you pro Putin? Fuck yeah.
No.
My family hates him so much.
Really?
I can't even get them to go.
They refuse to go back to Russia just because they hate Russia so much.
Well, Russia is super Orthodox Christian.
A little butthurt.
Catholic.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And he's kind of pushing it as like the state religion.
So they don't really like Jews in Russia, do they?
No, they hated Jews.
That's why my parents hated it because they're like they basically let they did a thing where they go jews can leave my
parents are like sweet and they're like jews can leave just like for free
okay and then elon musk second place I take back all my
All my agreements on that one
He's no longer a problem
Now you love Elon Musk
I don't love him
I still want to rocket up the ass
Yeah
To space or whatever
And then Bad Blood
Which was
Vito brought in
His
His friend having a fight
With Destiny
Which became very awkward
Because I assumed
Destiny knew
That I was like
Mr. Girl's like number
one husband. Yeah, like basically.
Yeah. But he had no idea.
So then I had to like explain it.
And I thought it was like a weird gotcha. Like I was
going to accuse him of sexual impropriety.
And I'm like, no, no, no, that's not what I got.
So that went off the rails very quickly.
I like Mr. Girl's set.
Did he do a set?
No, I like his set. Oh, his actual set? Yes. With the TV in the background, like the old school TV. And he do a set? No I like his set Oh his actual set
Yes
With the TV in the background
Like the old school TV
And he paid for like
A neon sign and everything
He paid for that?
Say what you will
About that man
But he's committed
To lighting
And good cameras
And everything
I'm like always baffled
By how high
His production quality is
Yeah
We have a bonus episode up
Just have to say
At the start of the show
Yes
I'm glad I read the comments
The biggest problem in the holidays
I gotta put up a little
Promo video for that
But that was a great bonus episode
People made fun of me
Because I said it was
An easy listen
It's just as good
As every other episode
Everybody in the comments
Is going
Oh finally
Some easy listening
I'm like
I just meant
You know
We're a little low energy
I think it's the worst one
If you subscribe
I dare you to subscribe
To Patreon
And tell me And see for yourself That it's the worst one I didn't listen to it But I think it's the worst one. If you subscribe, I dare you to subscribe to Patreon and tell me that it's, and see
for yourself that it's the worst one.
I didn't listen to it, but I think it's kind of fun when I'm like out of energy because
I just go off the rails and I sound insane and I say crazy fucking shit.
You were talking about returning a lot of things.
I just started talking about all the times I shoplifted.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And that was my holiday stories.
You're a big shoplifter?
Oh God.
I love it.
Currently? I can't do it as much anymore
Why?
I only yeah, but like you go to
Target you get like free stuff. I got a
PlayStation 4 pro for free from
Best Buy
You shopped with a whole PlayStation. Well, if you'll
find out if you listen to the biggest problem
in holiday is now available at
patreon.com
I told you though, come on out if you listen to The Biggest Problem in Holidays, now available at patreon.com How did you shop Lifted, though?
I told you! I forgot, though.
Come on. I went in and they
put... Don't fucking be that guy. How did you
do this? I already told you. Spoiler alert.
Okay, so I have to fucking ask twice about everything?
I told you. It's like my fucking wife does that.
Shut up! I'm telling the story, then!
I went into Best Buy. We have plans on Saturday.
What are they? I told you about them.
We'll fucking say it again.
You have to pay if you want to listen to it.
Just fucking say it again.
It's so hard.
That didn't help me at all.
Keith Phil Dick says, Destiny and Dick couldn't have more different politics, but always seem
like good friends.
America needs more of that.
How many of the Dick sucking Dick and Destiny are the greatest comedic couple comments do
you have?
Because it was so great to go through that episode and be like, man, Dick and Destiny should the greatest comedic couple comments do you have? Because it was so great to go through that episode and be like,
man, Dick and Destiny should have a podcast.
I don't know who that fat sack of shit is, but he should get out of there.
So Dick and Destiny can have a conversation.
I'm like, well, all right, great.
Well, you should improve on your craft of podcasting.
I'm going to say I did improve on my craft because I think I served an important role
as the straight man facilitator, and I stepped back, and I'll let you guys go wild,
which was what the show needed in that instance.
Oh.
Yeah.
You were like a moderator.
He's a role player.
One guy left a comment that said he respected my straight man attitude.
That's what I like.
That's what I want when I do comedy is respect.
Fuck you.
God damn it.
Invar's a lie man
This might be the most fun Destiny guest
Appearance I've ever seen wow
Musfat says this show was so much
Funnier and higher energy than No Jumper
It's a shame it'll get
It's a shame it'll get less views
What's No Jumper is that that show where that
Those gay guys
I don't know what they are
You don't know what No Jumper is But I, I know what No Jumper is, but I don't
know who the hosts are. Who are the hosts?
The host of No Jumper is Adam22.
He's like this... He came on the boys' cast.
He's like a pornographer.
He does porn with his wife, and then they have
a show where they just bring on random chicks, and
they both fuck them. But then
he also has a show where it's like hip-hop and
culture
stuff and Destiny. So it's just a guy
jealousy you want to be him i mean it's pretty sweet and his dad or i think his dad was friends
with bill clinton what's crazy is somebody did post that i saw that comment but last i checked
our episode of biggest problem had like 150 000 views views and there's had like maybe 250,000.
I'm like,
but they have like a million subscribers.
We have less than 10,000.
No,
no,
they have millions on many.
No,
I'm saying for views.
Oh,
for viewers.
Yeah.
Millions of views.
I saw one today that had over 3 million views.
Yeah.
I think the destiny,
uh,
I'm sure I checked Vito.
I'm saying probably, I think they Destiny episode, I'm sure... Get your eyes checked, Vito. I'm saying,
probably,
I think they're going to get
more residual views,
but the fact that we,
as a podcast with no following,
got 150,000 views,
yeah,
that was big for us.
And thanks to all our new subscribers,
who I'm sure flooded in as well.
So he fucks chicks
with his girlfriend,
and then they interview them afterwards?
It's his wife,
and yeah,
no, I think they interview them first,
but that's like on their paid thing. They have all these different things. That would make sense. Why would you interview them afterwards? It's his wife, and yeah, no, I think they interview them first, but that's like on their paid thing.
They have all these different things.
That would make sense.
Why would you interview them afterwards?
But no,
yeah,
it's like his wife is,
they're in like porn,
and he plays poker,
and he like used to be like BMXer.
He's a cool guy.
Cool guy.
It's interesting that that translated
into like a super successful podcast.
Do you have to do all that stuff
to like fuck a bunch of chicks like that?
Like BMX,
and poker and stuff
Yeah
Yes
Yeah
I think so
I just could never do that
And he does like
Sometimes like 40 interviews a week
They just crank him out
Yeah cause he's probably making a
Fucking fortune from that show
Yeah
They have all these
Just like gangbangers
It's pretty cool
Okay
No arms no life
Whatever destiny
Is on this show
It's hilarious
Great chemistry with everyone.
See, I brought some.
And he really just keeps the energy high.
Great episode.
And then here's a weird comment.
It's from Vito Giswaldi.
Wait, what the fuck, guys?
It was on our Patreon at patreon.com slash biggest problem.
And it says, somebody said, if Vito really cared about the show, he would fix the cameras.
And the comment from Vito was Dick controls the cameras
not me
so
and the only
reason I know about this comment exists is because
I get an email for new
comments so you registered as your own
profile to go into the Patreon
and blame
the cameras on me even though we
both have identical responsibility when it comes to the cameras on me Even though we both have Identical responsibility
When it comes to the cameras
Maybe
But you have the mouse and the keyboard
And every time anything goes wrong
With the show
If the audio is weird
Or something doesn't go up
Or whatever else
I always
For some reason
They always blame me
And I don't touch the audio at all
Yeah
So I always
Correcting fans
They'll be like
Vito didn't post the podcast
episode. So I do all the work you say.
No, I put up the videos.
What do you do? I put up the videos
and I make the clips
and I... What videos? The video
goes right to YouTube after the show. I title the video and I make
the thumbnails for the video.
Kitten Fiddlers makes the thumbnails.
Kitten Fiddlers makes the thumbnails.
Or I have to ask the AI guy to make the thumbnails.
So what do you do?
I have to change the thumbnail to fit the YouTube format as a 12 by 9 or whatever the fuck it is.
AI guy?
Yeah, we have an AI guy.
He's pretty good.
That's cool.
I do a lot for this show.
Yeah, including running PR that's anti-me That you don't think I'm gonna see
Cause I'm not in there scouring the fucking
How did you even know this guy left a negative comment about you?
I looked on the Patreon
I looked to see what people were saying about the episode
Dick controls the camera
Like what am I
Fucking channel 9 news controlling cameras
I'm just looking at the screen the same as you
Yeah but you have all the stuff
You have the keyboard and the mouse and you know
You do great work
It's just you know you screwed up that one thing
With Destiny
Caleb says hey Vito I was just watching
A YouTube video I think it's funny you shit on Dick
For not promoting the show when the fucking link
To the podcast is wrong
You put biggestproblem.com
Not biggestproblem.show
You retard I don't know where he saw me put biggestproblem.com Not biggestproblem.show I don't know what he's talking about
I don't know where he saw me put biggestproblem.com
I don't even believe him
So nowhere on your like big channel?
I don't think so
If you go to my channel there's a direct link to this channel
On the front page of my channel
Okay
So I'm promoting all day long
And I do the Twitter and I tweet when the show's going live
And I make the promo image for the show
That shows that Danny's gonna be on it
I mean, you're the one who messaged me, Dick
But also you didn't have Twitter until a few hours ago
There you go, I coordinated the guest
Thank you
Danny, those are all the comments I have
That's great, because that brings me to my favorite segment
Oh shit, wait
A segment we will soon be visiting
Because I know it's gonna to be too loud. Sorry.
Why?
Do I always make it too loud?
No, no, no.
Because I had to turn the volume up.
If you give me like a target audio level, I can do it.
You're hitting it.
I just know it's going to be too loud because of the way I have the settings right now.
Well, my favorite segment, of course, is called Vote It Up.
So, so many problems in the universe.
Which one of them should we fucking handle first?
Fake news or pedophiles, which is worse?
Seth Rogen, put him in a fucking hearse.
Biggestproblem.show, that's the URL.
If you don't go to the website, then go to hell.
Vote it up or we'll throw you down a fucking well.
Please like, subscribe, and ring the bell.
Ladies and gentlemen, vote it up.
Wow.
A tribute to the great Kanye West.
Yay.
Yay West. Stop calling him okay Kanye West. Yay. Yay West.
Stop calling me okay.
Is it yay West
or just yay?
No, it's just yay.
You're dead naming him.
So he doesn't have a...
Okay.
I'm sorry that I'm dead naming him.
He said dead name too.
He's not doing it.
He's not doing it to be
racist though.
He did complain
when I use a...
I'm not being racist
when I say dead name.
He's doing it as a slam to black people?
I am not.
It is not.
Oh, he is apparently.
Okay.
Well, speaking of Kanye West, one of our favorite problems from episode 61 was child support.
Dick, I believe you brought that in.
Yeah.
Well, according to a recent settlement, Ye, formerly known as Kanye West, will be paying
Kim Kardashian $200,000 a month in child support for the needs of their four young children,
North, St., Chicago, and Salm.
Kanye will also be responsible for 50% of their medical
and educational expenses, including tuition,
and 50% of their children's security expenses.
So this man is going to have to pay.
Yay, we'll have to pay.
God damn. Those security expenses can't be cheap right now. Yay, we'll have to pay. God damn.
Those security expenses can't be cheap right now.
Well, apparently the tuition is something like,
they all go to like crazy private schools.
So I think that even exceeds the $200,000 he's paying per month.
He should just send them to me.
I'll teach those kids what's up.
You're going to teach North St. Chicago and Psalm what's right from wrong?
No.
I didn't know the names of those kids until today.
Tell them who the real G's are.
Well, that's a great
problem. It's currently number 136
on the board. Should be higher, man.
Well, the only way to get it higher
is, of course, to vote it up.
Suck that child support out of my cock every month. That's my motto.
Child support
killed low tax. Killed many men. And it's clearly driven yay month. That's my motto. Child support killed low tax.
Killed many men.
And it's clearly driven yay insane.
That's why in the Bible men live to like 900.
Because they didn't have to pay child support.
Because they didn't have to pay child support or alimony or any of this shit.
Sucks the life out of us.
Did you know that?
Methuselah had all these kids and he didn't take care of any of them.
When your woman started nagging you too, you just bashed her with a club and just found a new one.
I just headed off to Gamora and found a new 10 wives.
Another problem for me was too long of media from episode 24.
Well, that's when, of course, your media is just a little too long.
James Cameron's Avatar the Way of Water
is reported to have a runtime of 3 hours and 12 minutes.
Jesus.
For comparison, the original Avatar was 2 hours and 42 minutes, making this new installment a full half hour longer.
What's The Way of Water? Is that number two?
Yeah, it's the second Avatar.
I hate this shit of, like, naming things.
Like, Superman, Superman 2, Superman 3, like, Superman 4, The Voyage Home, like, The Voyage Star Trek 4, The Voyage
You want like a short subtitle
2, 3, 4
I don't want like
Their address
Terminator 3, Rise of the Machines
So you know the machines are rising
What do you want to do? Just call it Terminator 3?
Yeah
What do you want to call Star Wars 3?
You don't want to call it
the Empire Return of the Jedi?
Star Wars 6.
Well, they messed us up
with the 6, I guess.
So I was on.
If you get to 4,
then you start naming.
Not 2.
I just think there's no way
you're getting me to see
a 3-hour, 12-minute
Avatar movie.
I just can't imagine
making time for that.
I watched Hebrews to Negroes that was three and
a half hours is it really yeah that's an easy watch i mean it's thrilling the whole way through
did you learn anything out of it uh not really i learned that i guess i'm a fraudulent jew
there's something oh how come i'm, how come? Well, because the blacks
are the real Jews. Because they went from Hebrews
to Negroes. Yeah, they were the
original Hebrews. I'm just an imposter.
Where did you come from then if
they are the real Jews? Where do the fake
Jews come from? How could black people not rhyme
a movie like that? That's close, right?
It's not close.
I guess we just came from Europe.
We came from Europe
And then you got one that started disguising yourself
As Jews
We stole it from them yeah I guess
They lost it and then as crafty
Jews do we kind of go
Thank you we'll help ourselves to that
And then we became the Jews
And now they want it back
Why do they want it back though
What is the benefit of being...
I mean, I guess...
What's the benefit of being Jewish?
I saw a bunch of black...
Oh, Vito, come on, man.
How are...
No, I get to come to shows like this.
Are you kidding me?
This is the fucking Hollywood big time right here.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
But the fake Jews get the benefit.
It's not becoming a Jew.
You don't get all the stuff.
Well, that's what they want.
They want the stuff.
But they're deprived of the stuff.
So all the fake Jews just go, well, you just run Hollywood now, black Israelites. No, that's what they want. They want the stuff. But they're deprived of the stuff. So all the fake Jews just go, well, you
just run Hollywood now, black Israelites.
No, it's not a reasonable
God-given right
to rule Hollywood.
And they think we're going to be slaves now.
That's the whole arc of the story.
We become slaves.
We're going to be good slaves or something.
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure like that's true.
If I wanted a slave, I'd want a Jewish guy.ish guy knows what he's doing i don't know about that
if like the whole if they did bust this myth open with hebrews to negros yeah i feel like uh people
just looking for a spot to chill on sunday could just or saturday could just go to temple
they wouldn't really care anymore i mean that's the weird thing is nobody's really stopping
them from being Jews.
There's very much an element of
not only do they want to be Jews, but they
want us to not be Jews.
Right, because you guys are the fake ones and they're all mad.
They're the fake ones. We're making them look bad
with our lack of melanin.
It's like when you're a fan of a band and then a bunch of
posers show up.
It's like you can't really enjoy the music
anymore yeah you gotta get all these fake jews out of here then i can go back to really uh iran
and whatever else yeah i hate the fake jews anyway too long of media currently number 282
with 106 down votes so why don't you guys go vote that up? So many problems in the universe which one of them should we fucking handle first fake news all pedophiles
Which is worse Seth Rogen put him in a fucking hearse
Yeah, that show that's the URL if you don't go to the website then go to hell
Vote it up or we'll throw you down a fucking well, please like subscribe and ring the bell
There you go folks Kanye song. Yeah, you never heard that?
I heard it, I didn't know they were a Ye song
Yeah, well, that he sampled Daft Punk
Yeah, I didn't know that
No, it's a great one
That's one of his good ones
Solid song
I'm definitely able to separate the artist from the art
Yes
Do you think there's enough room in Israel for all of Africa?
No
Probably not
It's not a solution That's one of their arguments, too Africa? No. Probably not.
It's not a solution.
That's one of their arguments too.
It obviously all makes sense because Israel is just Northeast Africa.
How could those people
not be Israelites, the black people?
Just build a bigger wall.
Yeah.
If the Jews are smart,
all in Israel, they should just
dip out of there, make it like a reality show or something.
And we're like, we're all moving in just by an island somewhere.
It's a tiny country.
Buy some Caribbean island and just move everything out of there.
Every person moved like all the temples, all that shit, just like by plane or boat or something.
Just fucking scram.
Shit all over that box.
Take a message, Jews.
They don't want you there.
Yeah, but we want them there.
That's the point.
The U.S. is like, no, stay there.
Yeah, America.
That's maybe my favorite thing right now.
What do you mean we people?
America.
The Americans.
Yeah.
That's maybe my favorite thing is people are so mad that America sends Israel money.
And you're like, you think they're just doing that out of the kindness of their heart?
It's like a fucking 51st state for you guys.
Yeah, it's horrible.
It's a goddamn atrocity.
Well, I wish the Africans were running it.
I'm sure they'd do a bang up job.
They would fix things up.
Send Coney in there.
We're not going to have
any more problems
with this whole
rock that Muhammad
jumped into space from
inside the cube
that nobody could see.
All right?
Yeah.
We're not going to have
any more dress code.
I don't know.
Guess what?
The 13th tribe of
Israels here, guys.
They're going to be
doing a little redecorating.
They've got a problem with your dress code, as in they are not going to follow it.
Go ahead and take it up with them.
This is not a good plan.
And by the way, you can't see them at night.
So have fun with that.
They're invisible like the predator.
Well, they got a blink at some point.
Very true.
Okay.
Is it my turn first?
Yes. Why don't you lead us off?
My problem is the war on anonymity.
Yeah. So you see a Jordan Peterson got back onto Twitter and he's like retarded now.
Now. Yeah. Was there ever a point where you were buying into the Jordan Peterson?
I think right at the beginning
I was like hey this guy
You know he's taking a stand
Yeah before he's that he was like Elvis
Not just Elvis he thinks he's literally on like a religious mission
From like Jesus himself
He's like one of the Blues Brothers
Yeah he is
I hate everything that comes out of his mouth now
I think he
I think the Benzo has fried his brain
Honestly
Like I think they just like
He's a little wacky
Cooked his fucking brain
My girlfriend
She makes the bed every day
And I mess it up
I undo it every day now
You unclean the room
Just to make sure
You don't end up
An old benzo addicted weirdo
I eat lobsters out of spite now
Fuck Jordan Peterson I don't know if that old benzo-addicted weirdo. I eat lobsters out of spite now.
Fuck Jordan Peterson.
I don't know if that's part of it.
Yeah, he said he had some kind of lobster thing.
I know, but he didn't say don't eat lobsters.
That wasn't part of it.
Whatever.
That's what I do.
I think you're thinking of Jews, actually.
Yeah, now you're thinking of the Jews. Jews can't eat lobsters.
You got them mixed up.
And now he's like, Mr. I hate anonymity.
And he sounds like a weirdo, like super villain, like a renaissance fair super villain.
When he's talking about it, I have some quotes.
The issue here, he says, the issue that those touting the advances of anonymity won't face is that an emerging scientific literature indicates that a very large proportion of such posters are characterized by the presence of psychopathic and narcissistic traits.
This exposes us all to radically polarizing influence of small percentage of bad, lull-seeking dementors.
Dementors?
Did he really say dementors?
Bro, he's a grown man who said that not having your full name and address on the internet
makes you a lulz-seeking dementor.
The true danger.
He said that yesterday, right?
Yeah.
You know what that's from?
What?
Why he said that? Because he interviewed
on the Daily Wire
or on his YouTube channel, but he interviewed
Benjamin Netanyahu.
Old Netanyahu.
Wow. And the comments
absolutely
fucking lit
him up. Yeah. Like
next level. And I think he was like, oh.
Because he's pro-Netanyahu. He's like a classic
conservative in that way, right?
It's like a fucking infomercial.
When he's doing his thing on Israel.
Yeah.
Ben Shapiro's like, oh, see the amazing
beautiful locations
and it's like the Wailing Wall, which is a shithole.
Yeah, it's fucking...
I've been there. It's alright.
It's not that good. There could be more Wailing. It doesn't even hold a fucking flame to Jamaica
Yeah
No
By failing to separate
The anonymous cowardly troll demons
From real people
In the comments section
Social media platforms are enabling
Sadistic Machiavellian
Psychopaths And narcissists Like we're a psychopath are enabling sadistic Machiavellian psychopaths.
I hate this guy.
And narcissists.
Yeah.
Like, we're Machiavellian psychopathic narcissists
who are going gay on YouTube comments
knowing that no one is going to read them
because there's 30,000 of it
because it is an infomercial for Israel.
Sold as the biggest fake God spokesman.
The closest thing we have to...
Who was the big televangelist of the 80s and 90s?
Jim Baker.
Jim Baker.
The closest thing we have to Jim Baker right now
is Jordan B. Peterson.
Well, Jim Baker's back, but he's not good anymore.
He's not as good now. Now we need guys who are, now we need men who's, it's mental health,
it's mental health, self-help for them to be told to clean their fucking rooms. That's how low we
are in the value of men now that Ben Shapiro and Netanyahu have come and scraped the bottom of.
That Ben Shapiro and Netanyahu have come and scraped the bottom of.
And we are the narcissistic Machiavellian psychopaths.
I did think about that.
I'm like, is that really all you're going to do? Like, if I wrote, like, a self-help book that's just like, hey, don't pee on your hands,
would, like, everybody go like, oh, my God, what a genius.
He's revolutionizing how to talk to young men.
I'm like, he didn't do anything.
And now, yeah, he does this thing where he talks in these grand, insane terms about everything.
He sounds like Damon Wayans is the prison guy that can't speak right.
Like he's like, he had to dramatically introduce you to a precipitation.
Remember that guy?
Yeah.
Remember that guy, Danny in Living Color?
In Living Color, absolutely.
What do you think about?
So he wants to get rid of anonymity on the internet
So everybody has to
You can't be Fudge Knocker 9000
You have to be Thomas Bradley
From Walla Walla, Washington
A.K.A. Fudge Knocker 9000
We're on anonymity
And he's not the only one
Well, I see
I know that I get the arguments where they go
Well, the internet has become so uncivil
And people interact in a manner that they never would before
But you think I wouldn't call something gay in real life?
Well, that's the other thing
Is that me and you don't have anonymity
And yet we still act like complete assholes
We're kind of like the example of the opposite thing
Yeah
Yeah, but he's trying to be like a professor and stuff.
And at the Daily Wire, you know.
He's really trying to.
He has a different set of standards.
Yeah, well, what does he care?
He's just mad that everyone's ripping on him.
I honestly go look at the comments section of that video.
You'll see exactly.
I kind of do want to watch.
I got to check this out later.
You haven't seen it?
But I don't get it.
Does everyone who follows the Daily Wire know That they're like
A super pro-Israel thing?
Like isn't that
Ben Shapiro's whole thing?
They do
Honestly you know what it is
It wasn't on
The Daily Wire's channel
It was on
Jordan Peterson's channel
Yeah
And so I don't know
If you've been paying attention
Much to the current news cycle
But Jews are not
Super in favor right now
Interesting
So
Yeah
So
So instead of doing Trending in the right direction, if we can say that.
So anyways, there's a lot of people who I think they assumed he felt that way, but they don't like it rubbed in their face.
Yeah, that he's pro-Israel.
But what would happen if we got rid of the anonymous commenters?
Then everybody just, you know just bottles up their Jew anger and
don't you want it out in the
open a little bit? They have to go meet in person like
the old days. Yeah.
But we always had anonymous. You could
always write an anonymous letter to the editor.
It's been the most important expression
of ideas and criticism since the beginning
of time. It's anonymous comments.
Yeah, it also... Ben Franklin,
all through the... everybody that's ever
been hanged in the town square
was somebody that lost their
anonymity. Yeah, they all- I wish I
was anonymous when I wrote that.
Yeah, shit! They found me out!
And the next day, dead.
That's a good point.
Coinbase asked me to update my
ID, because my Coinbase account
was like, whatever, they're like, we need you to re-upload your driver's license
Oh yeah they keep asking me for that
I'm like you guys are all of you guys banks crypto companies
You're all complicit or actively engaging in fraud to the tune of tens of billions of dollars
And you're gonna pretend that it's like for my protection or the world's protection that I'm uploading my fucking driver's license like that.
I would have a panic attack if it fell into the wrong hand.
This is another war on anonymity thing.
Like, I don't believe you.
I don't believe for a second that me giving this to you protects anyone.
I think you just have it to fuck people over.
That's a good point, because like I'm always worried when Services are like hey in order to
Complete this information we need your full name
And whatever else and I'm like
Why?
How do I know it's not just some guy
You know who works for you who can just access all the accounts
And be like oh I'm going to fuck up Beto's shit
Yeah
I mean luckily for me I don't have this problem because I had an FTX account
What do you call it?
I signed up for a...
Did you have one, Danny?
Yeah.
FTX?
Oh, did you lose anything in it?
A lot of money in it.
Oh, no.
Like, a lot.
And it wasn't even in crypto.
My favorite is everybody goes, yeah, it sucks.
Not your keys, not your coins.
I was like, it was in cash.
It was in fiat US dollars. cash sitting in my fucking ftx account
i didn't have any crypto i'd like 200 in crypto oh god they made it so easy to just let it sit there
well i had no reason to believe otherwise i was just like i don't know i mean isn't the fact that
it was in cash doesn't that give you the best possible chance of maybe getting something back
yeah i mean i talked to martin screlli about, and he's like, yeah, maybe you'll get 5% back in 10 years.
Well, because Voyager, I was able to get back my USD, but that's because they kept crowing on and on.
Well, that's because they took money from Danny.
For me, that's how my Ponzi scheme works, Vito.
Yeah.
I got my money back.
We were on different levels, so you got paid back with my money.ito. Yeah. I got my money back. Because we were on different levels, so you got paid back with my money.
Yeah.
Well, maybe if all these anonymous weirdos buying all this crypto, maybe we do need to
expose them all.
Maybe that's an argument against anonymity.
I would love to know how that works in like a non-anonymous world, how you're supposed
to whistle blow.
Like every single check that exists In the world is insured
Strictly because of anonymity
And that's it
The entire like
The essence of freedom is essentially anonymous
And as soon as somebody knows
Do you have that feeling when you tell somebody your name for the first time
Of like
I just felt something die
That's freedom die
Cause now you can't do it
I was gonna say
though i've had a thing recently a lot of times where i'll go order something at a place and then
i don't know if i'm not paying attention but then they'll call out my name and i'm like i don't
remember giving you my name i like there's a lot how did that happen how did they find it like i
think with a card or whatever but i'm whatever Sometimes caller ID gets you when you call in
You ever call into like a pizza place
And they go, hi Vito
And I go, what the fuck?
I've had that happen
Yeah, it's terrifying
Here's why anonymity is
Or trying to unmask people is a big problem
Is that any story I might tell that relates to this problem
I can't tell
Because I'm worried about being fucked over.
That I'll get fucked or somebody else will get fucked or somebody will get doxxed.
Yeah.
It's just like a problem I can't even talk about is how bad it is.
It's the first thing that guys and a lot of like boomers and dumb people use it online as an argument.
Like, well, you're anonymous.
Like, why don't you show your face, you coward?
Well, yeah, because you'll just like go like fuck with my job and shit.
What do you mean?
What kind of thing is that to say?
Well,
I hate when I'm on Twitter and people go,
well,
you're an anonymous troll.
And I go,
well,
I wasn't an anonymous troll.
They forced it on me.
I love to be in veto.
Just Wally and pick and fights.
But now I have to be Italian Pepsi man or whatever the fuck.
Hopefully I get my Twitter bank.
But yeah,
Jordan Peterson's crazy.
And,
uh, we're on anonymity, driver's licenses, social security. Hopefully I get my Twitter back But yeah, Jared Peterson's crazy And uh
We're on anonymity, driver's licenses
Social security
It's like the same thing with the cops
Whenever the cops want to ask for ID
It's the worst, you go no, don't give them your ID
You ever watch all those videos
First amendment orders and shit
Oh I love that shit
And they always get tased, every one of them just ends up getting tased
The cop's like tell me who you are And he's like I'm not going to tell you shit shit. Oh, I love that shit. And they always get tased. Every one of them just ends up getting tased.
Cop's like, tell me who you are. And he's like, I'm not gonna tell you. I'm not gonna tell you shit. Ow!
Ow! And then he gets like $100,000 and it's great.
It's great. I want to be
one of those guys. Did you see that blind guy that
a woman did that to? Oh, I saw
that, yeah. How did you get your thing out? And he pulled
out like his walking stick that
she thought was a gun. And she tased him.
And then she's like, alright, well, whatever. Why don't you go on your way?
And he goes, what's your badge number? And they go, you know what?
I'm arresting you for disorderly conduct.
Yeah, the cops hate it too. Yeah, exactly.
They don't want to be unmasked.
They hate it.
Dude, because you're on Twitch when you
see shit like that and you can't tweet about it.
Like when a woman does that, like tases
a dude who's pulling out his cane
and you're just like, not anymore.
I've been living in silence for five years.
Like Nelson Mandela.
Yeah.
And now I'm free.
I'm excited because if the main account gets a band, I can make all sorts of fun gimmick accounts.
Not worried about those getting banned.
I have like seven accounts.
They're like 20,000 people there now because they were all banned for band evasion.
Yeah, exactly.
So now they're all free, right?
Oh, I want to get them all unbanned.
The Victory News Network will return, folks.
Yeah, let's see here.
Private.
I got some stats, but I don't know if you care about that.
Privacy and Internet surveillance statistics show that 64% of Americans don't trust their government.
That's it?
Should be higher.
Do you trust the government?
68%?
64% don't trust it.
Do you trust the government?
Well, here's the thing.
I trust the government.
Oh, my God.
Danny, do you trust the government?
Do I trust?
I mean, the government is just people.
I'm saying there's a percentage scale.
Do I trust the government yeah i would
lean towards no but then also like i mean sometimes i don't distrust them always all the time thank
you that's what i was trying to say they said drink this uh drink this bottle of water and it's
not the seals broken what would your answer be if they said we have a booster shot for you that will make you lessen the effects of a certain health crisis,
I'd take that booster shot.
I'd tell you what.
Sixty-six percent of citizens don't agree with data collecting by the government.
So a third of people agree with data collecting by the government.
Wow.
Yeah.
Some people, well, you always get the people who go, if you got nothing to hide,
what do you care?
They're the stupidest people
of all.
Fucking idiots.
Yeah.
Those are the worst people of all.
Anyone who says that to you
is a grade A moron.
So, um...
And probably has sex with kids.
Yep.
Basically, Jordan Peterson,
I'm not saying he doesn't
have sex with kids.
I don't know.
I can't tell you what he's doing. I don't know what Benzos
do to you. I think Andrew Tate fucked
his daughter so hard that it made him crazy.
It fucked his brains out. Jesus Christ.
I don't know. That's just
my theory. The war on anonymity.
We need anonymity. Stay anonymous, people. It's a
valuable, it's the most valuable thing you have.
It's the most valuable thing you have. Okay.
I mean, you need the option, for sure. Danny, you want to go next what's your problem sure my problem is it's
a long-running problem which i do to myself uh kind of but it's this podcast called the female
dating strategy okay are you familiar with it i know about the female i've never heard of it
maybe i've heard about it from like watp but i don't think i don't know so well i actually went on watp actually and
talked about it okay it's these three chicks who are basically permanently uh single they're like
you know not attractive women and they're they're getting on there in years and they give the worst fucking
advice on earth to other women and their whole thing is they call all pretty much all men are
low value men that's their whole thing is they go all men are low value men sure and uh and they're
high value obviously women are high value of course right. And all their advice is like, one of the girls just had lap band surgery.
The other one.
Is that the fat one?
Is it for being fat?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Another one, she was saying like,
yeah, because she wasn't really giving too,
because they're all anonymous too.
Back to Dick's thing.
You don't actually see their faces?
No.
Just their voice?
So I live stream and I listen to the podcast
because we all hate ourselves.
Yeah.
And I am the foremost expert.
John said it.
I'm the foremost expert on the FDS podcast and nobody can find a picture of them.
They're like, but you can tell like the one sound.
How popular is this podcast?
They say that they hit a million listens overall.
How many dumb fat women are there?
They have a huge're all listeners.
The problem is they don't give them good advice like
hey, settle. Never
will they say hey, your standards
are too high. All their advice
is like, you know what, you deserve
better, blah, blah, blah. And like, all these women
are just going to die alone. Yes.
That's all that's going to happen here. It's the worst advice.
Yeah, I honestly
wish that, even to young men,
I wish there was the advice of like,
listen, man, just lock one down.
Lock one down.
At least men advice is always like,
go to the gym, get better.
None of their advice involves self-improvement in any way.
No, because women are perfect.
They've not even got to do anything wrong.
Exactly, they're perfect queens.
Can you remember any of their advice, Danny?
Oh, can I remember? Oh my god.
Like, so if a guy ever
says like, hey, let's go for a
date, for example, uh, do you want to go
meet for a coffee?
Instant red flag. Like anything
that's not like going out to a super
nice restaurant
for a first date is a
huge red flag to them.
Are they all catty about money?
Like he's got to pay.
All they talk about is money.
They talk about that a ton.
They're aware of the
fact that they're on an
expiring clock kind of thing.
There's all these inherent
unfairness.
The big thing they never shut up about is how guys don't wipe their asses.
They constantly talk about how guys do not wipe their asses.
I'm like, I don't...
Never, that one.
Yeah, I've never encountered that.
They're so fat.
How do they?
I have no idea.
One of them just said recently, she goes, I lost 50 pounds.
And then she still said that she was dating a guy and she was bigger than him.
So all these women are unmarried.
Oh, hell yeah.
They're unmarried, desperate.
They're structurally single.
Yeah.
And it kind of sounds like given their preferences.
Actually, one of them it looks like has a boyfriend
and it's funny because Lilith is one
and then she has a boyfriend,
but then she also said that she is leaving the podcast
for a while due to ongoing
medical problems because
and she's facing a lot of medical
misogyny. What the hell is that?
I don't really understand
what that means. I think she
goes into like
a doctor and it's like hey I'm
not feeling well and then they diagnose
her but the answer is not the patriarchy it's like when fat yeah you go to the doctor he goes well because you're a fat
piece of shit they go no fat brain there's something else that is wrong and he's like
yeah well you guys stop eating pizzas and tacos all the time she's the canadian one too but she
says she has a boyfriend now so i think maybe she's's out of the mix. So maybe it's coming together.
What do these women want, though?
Like, why do they want a man?
Because it sounds like they're just perpetually miserable.
I think they only want the money and the free food.
They want to just, you know, men under their thumbs, like, you know, Princess Leia, almost like chained up and I don't know.
They're demented.
Do they ever talk about their jobs? Like what they do?
Like do they have money?
One of them is in sales.
I think the British one.
The British one is like sounds.
Everybody who listens to this knows
she sounds so overweight.
Like
I can't even explain it.
But everybody knows.
All of our commenters have explained this phenomenon many times about this.
Yeah.
What?
I sound fat.
Fuck you.
No, you don't actually though.
Like I got voicemails to the contrary.
I recorded, I recorded a thing recently and I, I, uh,
mixed the audio terribly and everyone's like,
I can hear your fat breath.
You pee.
I'm like, yeah, I just mixed it wrong. It sounds fine wrong it sounds fine okay so the breathing i agree if you like the breathing but she does
it's not the breathing it's literally the talking now i'm all self-conscious about breathing into
the mind no you sound fine okay you should be but everyone should be it's almost like the way
that it's like pushing on stuff is like making the air leave her it's
like putting a bunch of cotton in your mouth i think so kind of their foreheads are fat
we can't see yeah we're assuming yeah the whole thing is it's and i listen to it every week and
every week it's just so much it sounds like a lot of modern women though that they um they watched
a lot of sex in the city they all think they're catty super bitches And that they deserve everything in life
But they're like against liberal
See they're kind of based sometimes
Like they're against liberal feminism
How do they feel about the Jews?
Yeah they're all over the place
The Jews they probably don't like them
Today I was talking about Israel
And oh my god
That's actually kind of what she sounds like
Yeah I can kind of figure it out in my head.
Yeah, I don't know why the modern woman,
I mean, like I try to explain this to women sometimes
who I know, or I'm just like,
you want way too much.
Yeah.
Like to me, the ideal relationship.
Anything.
To me, the ideal relationship is someone where you go,
hey, I need you to drive me to the airport at 4 a.m.
I'm not, I don't do that.
Why not? I will not drive
anyone. I will definitely not drive my
girlfriend to the airport. Now there's Uber and stuff.
There was always taxis.
There's always walking as well.
Okay, but if she called you and she
said, hey, my taxi didn't show up,
my Uber didn't show up, I'm stuck at the airport,
you would go. Fucking
hit the brakes brakes No no no
You're lying
Fuck you
A relationship is just
A moral obligation
To ensure someone else's
Safety and general comfort
Really?
I think it's just a hole
Well that's not healthy either
Safety and general
Safety?
Like what?
Against what?
Against Dementors? Yeah Anonymous Dementors? Safety in general? Safety? Like what? Against what? Against.
Dementors?
Yeah.
Anonymous dementors?
Well, it's you're both working together to ensure financial safety, health, or whatever else.
Financial safety.
Okay.
You're like a little team.
That's all it is.
It's I invest in your success.
You invest in mine.
You take care of the kids.
I take care of the dog.
But a lot of people want this whirlwind.
I'm literally laying out the most
utilitarian definition of a
relationship and Dick is horrified.
Yeah, you're not going to negotiate it.
What do you do for your woman? What do you do for her?
Nothing. You buy her gifts?
I mean, I mess up occasionally
and will buy...
Do you provide her with emotional support and encouragement?
I don't think so.
Okay.
God, I hope not.
No, you don't want to encourage them too much.
I'm there to correct her if she does something incorrect.
I'm there to correct her.
You're such a fucking liar.
You guys.
So then she won't do it again.
Yeah.
You know?
It's all a little bit Give and take
What do you do for your cat?
I grab a Q-tip
And I make sure it's
Feeling good
My cats are well taken care of
What do you do with a Q-tip?
Danny's behind on the show, Lord
Yeah, I'm not
Just
I don't know a cat
Imagine the worst possible answer
To that question
I'm using it in my imagination, and I don't like it.
You probably got there.
You probably got there.
Okay.
We'll catch up later.
So are they recruiting new girls into this lifestyle of being fat and annoying or what?
Yeah.
Yeah, they are.
Are they keeping girls from losing weight and correcting their ways?
For sure, because they'll never tell you to lose weight.
They'll just tell you that men are shit.
Yeah.
Right?
It's never your fault.
I've never heard them be like, hey, women, you know.
Actually, you know what?
They really don't like pick-me's.
That's the only thing they don't like is they don't like the pick-me women.
Oh, they're talking women out of being good.
I know you're talking like pick-me's are girls who just try to do anything to be desirable to a man.
Kind of. And who are like, again,
they're always like, oh, pick-me's are shit, and you're like,
you mean like a lot of the women who are married
with kids and families and stuff? Well, you're all single
laughing. The ones who put in the effort to be attractive to men.
I mean, is there a bigger red flag for a woman than a podcast?
No.
It's interesting that they're like,
you just gotta accept me as I am
and I'm not gonna do anything to you. Like, even
I will go like, alright right, well, I got to
make myself presentable, clean up a little bit.
You know?
I'm not going that.
Not today, not right now, because you're not a beautiful
woman that I'm trying to attract.
Not every guy, but a lot of guys
at least, you'll say, hey, I want
I deserve a 10
and then you only go for 10s and then after
a year you go, okay, I'm not getting any 10s.
Let's move down to the 9s and see if that works
until we eventually reach some sort of equilibrium,
whereas they're just like, no, we deserve 10s,
and we'll die alone if we don't get them.
Man, what you want is a 6 with a job.
That's what you want.
A lady who knows how to make some money.
Women have a different attitude about About
Unrealistic expectations
Don't they?
Yeah
They just like cope with each other about it
Because they live in a fucking fantasy
You think?
Yeah that's why every relationship I'm in
I don't know
I always end up with these girls who are like
It's Christmas
I'm like
Yup
Like well it's the most magical wonderful time
And you're gonna
Take us on an adventure
And it's gonna be love And I'm like I't know, I'll buy you some fucking shit,
and we'll watch some movies.
What do you want me to do?
Can I give you some advice?
Yeah.
Sounds like you need a Jew.
Who does not give a shit.
I need someone who doesn't believe in magic and wonder and whatever.
You need to date a Jewish girl?
I think so.
They're,
you know,
that's probably why I love Jews so much is that they don't like do all this
like fanciful bullshit.
Yeah.
On Christmas,
you just get to go watch a movie.
Oh my God.
Like,
have you ever like dated a Christian?
They don't do fanciful bullshit.
They go to temple.
What are you talking about?
Dude?
Like they don't really believe in it.
You ever heard of
a blood libel most jews are like yeah it's temple it's fun we're paying respect to our ancestors
they don't have like a like a magic bunny rabbit that gives chocolate to kids and like runs around
and magical money rabbit that gives gold coins to kids. Yeah, but that's fun. So you're saying...
That sounds way better.
I did know about the money rabbit. That's true.
There's no Hanukkah monster,
you know, who like pops out of the
fucking dreidel and dances around.
Yes, there is. His name's Kanye West.
So you're saying the Jews
don't believe in anything that's not real?
They're like... I'm saying they're less
silly about it. You know, like every
religion is silly, but the
Jews are like, they're like, all right, well,
even that's a little too much, you know?
By how much?
I'm just like, like, again.
Okay.
I'm looking forward to these YouTube
comments. Let me tell you.
Gonna look similar to old
Jordan Peterson's if I had to. I love the you. And it looks similar to old Jordan Peterson's.
If I had to.
I love the Jews.
They're great.
All right.
Well,
Danny,
anything else we need to know about the names of the female?
Can we,
can we put like a bounty on the,
they must be looking for them already.
If we could get photos of them,
that'll be huge.
Savannah,
Lilith and row are their names.
And also, so I stream every once a week or whatever.
I watch them.
And so then last week, I was streaming an episode.
And in the live chat was one of them.
And she goes, what?
So I've done, this was at episode 40.
I had done 40 episodes.
And then in the chat, she starts chatting.
She's like, what the fuck is this?
I was just
updating my youtube channel and youtube just recommended me this what is this
so she doesn't realize there's an entire community discussing like my streams get more views than
their actual episodes oh my god i think they got a lot of listeners like on whatever like just just
audio but uh and she's like and She was in the chat the whole time.
What the fuck is going on? She's calling everybody
scrotes.
Oh, yeah, scrotes. I kind of like how
they're going to be
fat and useless forever. At least they're
having some sassy fun with it.
I have some of their merch, actually.
Oh, look at that.
And it's me.
Scrotes. Wait Wait did they make that?
So they sell that to their fans
This is their official merch
Scroat tears merch
Wow
So you guys have an ongoing feud
Women just can't do nicknames
Like I don't feel anything
Honestly this one looks like Ryan
Who's the black one?
We don't know
But then she was in the chat
And then so I was like hey
Cause I had to
know because we've we thought they go
we thought they used our face and then
I was like did you make these
based off of us and she's like no
that's just like you know this is what scrotes look
like
do they have
any like recurring bits
for yeah so they have a
patreon and they have this thing called uh if
you subscribe to their patreon um they have this thing called roast a scrote where you can tell a
story like about some dude who's a scrote and then they roast him three chicks not comics roasting
some guy it is maybe the worst thing you've ever listened to it sounds amazing never funny
ever even remotely it's so brutal that sounds like cyber harassment that's against the patreon tos
so the best place for me to find this is on your channel you guys talk about it you can just yeah
you can either just uh or just go female dating strategy on youtube and you can if you just want
to listen to an episode yeah like last week last week, the one I listened to is
they were talking about John Cena and his 75
page girlfriend contract.
Huh. He has a contract for his
girlfriends? Yeah, 75 pages.
Well, he needs an NDA.
Every celebrity should have an NDA for every girlfriend
because they all go nuts. Every man should have
an NDA for his girlfriend.
No, this was if you move in and he,
so if you move into his house
as his girlfriend, I guess Nikki Bella,
who's also a wrestler, she's also famous, right?
But not as famous as him and she had to sign
this 75 page thing and in the
contract, it just refers to her as his house
guest. That's fascinating.
It's pretty fucked up. Yeah, he's badass.
What do you think about sexual consent forms,
Dick? You remember when they were trying to push those?
I don't like them because then if I'm missing one
I gotta say like
Shit I gotta fudge one real quickly
I was having a manic episode
And I was convinced I was gonna become
A millionaire with what I called
The consentdom and it was gonna be
A consent form contained
In a condom package
She ripped it open and there's a little tiny form
One for you and one for her
to say I consent to this sexual
encounter. And the idea
is you would distribute them at, you know,
college campuses.
You know, glued. So, you know, it'd be glued
to a condom. It was like a two-pack.
Yeah, staple it.
That's funny. When women want to become millionaires, they just
poke holes in condoms.
I remember this. That was when I was holes in condoms. I remember this.
That was when I was really off the rails.
I remember a bit that I wanted to do, which was you bringing in ideas that you had.
Do you remember that?
It was like a year ago.
I said, man, we should do a bit where you bring in one of these ideas that you're talking about.
Vito the inventor.
Yeah.
The consentum.
I went and I registered the URL and everything.
I was like, I have no idea How to manufacture this nor would I want to
How much were you going to charge?
I was like
I was like I gotta find like
I don't know like
It was going to be like
It was going to be one of those things where like I convince colleges
Like hey
Consent's really important
So for $100,000 we'll do like a seminar
And have like speakers.
You were going to do it.
No, well, that was the problem.
That was the biggest problem with the plan was that I was going to have to hire some
fat chick with pink hair.
Yeah, I was going to say, you don't really look like the face of consent.
No, I was like, that was the thing is like anyone, the second they saw me, they would
know it was a scam.
And I would have had to find some like big fat like dumpy lady
you know to like give the speech well i mean i honestly i could have went
big fat dumpy lady put a wig on i'll send you the uh why would you want a big fat dumpy lady to do
it you know with pink hair and she had the nose ring and she gets up and she goes you know kids
the thing about consent is you you know, they all...
No, you gotta get like a hot broad. Yeah, I guess
it's gotta be. I love sucking, I love fucking guys
and they're sucking their dicks and here's
an awesome consent form. That's true. And what's awesome
is consent. Consent is sex. That's the
sexiest thing ever. And then all the guys buy it.
Women don't buy condoms. This was at the height of like
you know, all the social justice stuff was going
on. I would've needed like some
of those guys.
Now I'm back on Twitter.
No more social justice for you, bitch.
It's fucking over.
Put the forks down, you fucking pigs.
I'm fucking back, baby.
See, now with this show, I can never do it. You're getting me hyped up, dude.
I can never be the face of a sexual concern.
When can you tweet again?
12 hours.
Eight hours from now?
They actually told you?
How did you find out?
They emailed me
And it said we looked at your account
And we've decided to unsuspend you
And I just stopped in the middle of traffic
And put my car in park
And got out on the freeway
And then I came home
It says you need to do new steps to log in
I came home and logged. It says you need to do new steps to log in. I came home and logged in and I had like two seconds of Twitter freedom.
And then it said, boom, you've been locked.
We've detected that you fucked up and you're locked out for 12 hours.
And then they sent me the tweets that caused my 12 hour suspension.
And it was like backed up reports of what I had said before the bans. I was like
Say please delete these or something
Already been deleted. No, but I'm on like a normal 12-hour suspension. So I don't know this is wild
It's wild times man
And I'm still waiting to hear back. And they switched. I was only following
Trump. I had only followed Trump on that account
forever because I was like my bit
and who else do you need to follow honestly
five years ago. And they
switched it from me following
the real Donald Trump to a
Twitter account that was archives of his
tweets. That's weird.
Yeah. That's super weird.
Fucking that Vijaya bitch did that
I bet
Saw what kind of nonsense they were getting up to tonight
I don't know if you saw the Twitter files part two, but
No, I have been looking a little at that
They've confirmed like shadow bannings and, you know, certain, you know
Just basically everything that everybody thought
They go, yeah
I think I'm on a list that makes it so my tweets don't go wide.
And they're like, no, we don't have that.
Of course they fucking have that.
I feel like this is proof that nobody needed.
Right?
Like I see right wing guys going like, look at this shit.
I'm like, man, I don't need to fucking see that.
I already fucking knew it, idiot.
I don't know.
It feels like Elon Musk confirming it.
Well, it's for the people on the left who were saying that it wasn't happening. all the people on the left are like no it's not happening you're just a bigot
nobody likes you and it's like no i'm a bigot and everyone loves me and i should be uh promoted
far and wide okay veto what's your problem well my problem dick is a certain individual who some
people love i frankly do not agree. This man's name is Adolf
Hitler. Now, I don't know
if you've heard about this guy.
Adolf Hitler is your problem? Yes.
Okay. Yes.
I don't know if you've heard about this guy, Dick.
He's been in the news recently.
Certainly. Recently since
the last 60 years. He kind of doesn't leave the news
for some reason. You think that
eventually the news would be able You think that like Eventually the news
Would be able to get away
From this guy
Yeah no
And everybody just keeps
Pulling him back in
Uh huh
Well there's a certain
Individual
Mr. Ye
A musician
Who we've discussed
Who recently
And it happened right after
We did
I think it was like a day
After Destiny came on our show
And I'm like
Oh fuck
We gotta talk about this
But
It came right out Went went on the info wars program with a mr alex jones fuck that guy
shut up he should go he should be in jail for the stuff he's for the stuff he said about the
sandy hook kids he should be in jail a trillion dollars is not a twitter account now huh
he went on ste, that homosexual guy.
Steven Crowder, yes.
Yeah, he went on his show and said that Nick Fuentes, shit all over Nick Fuentes.
Oh, God forbid anyone shit on Nick Fuentes.
Yeah, you're goddamn right.
God forbid anyone shit on Nick Fuentes.
It's true.
Well, Nick Fuentes was at this.
God's perfect angel. Nick Fuentes seems to be, well, he's whispering in It's true. Well, Nick Fuentes was in this God's perfect angel.
Nick Fuentes seems to be, while he's
whispering in somebody's ear,
more of a devil on your shoulder, as I might
say, as he seems to have convinced Mr. Ye
that this Adolf Hitler fella
is quite a lovable character
as Ye has proclaimed.
I love Hitler.
He says there's a lot of good things
about Hitler. Well, well dick i went looking
and i gotta tell you i can't find anything you can't find any good things about this individual
i just can't find anything what'd you find you i see you highlighting everything well uh let's see
here now it turns out did you highlight the negatives or what just just facts i found
interpret them however you want okay Okay. Turns out that in
1933,
the year that Hitler assumed total power,
political opponents, gypsies, Jehovah's
Witnesses, and homosexuals
were imprisoned at Nazi
camps. Following 1938,
Hitler's forces filled those camps with
Jewish prisoners. And get this,
Dick, here's why he did it. Simply because
they were Jews.
Now that I thought you were reaching for the horn
for a second.
Now that doesn't sound like good behavior
dick persecuting
people based on their ethnic identity.
Isn't is that fair?
Was it legal?
It was legal under the laws he created.
That doesn't seem reasonable.
Good point.
Not to mention, have you heard of this Kristallnacht, the Night of Broken Glass?
Yeah.
Which led to the murder of 96 Jews and the burning of between 1,000 and 2,000 places of worship.
Well, that's just terrible.
Yeah.
You know what they're going to tell you is who owned the glass replacement companies.
Shut up, Danny.
He burned 1,000 synagogues and only got 90 Jews?
That's what you're saying?
Well, he was saving all the mass murder for later.
For Germans, they're not very efficient.
He wasn't in the murdered zone yet.
I guess that was the Austrian side of him that was burning all the Kristallnacht.
He was getting hyped up.
In early 1939, the Nazi party secretly began the child euthanasia program,
under which it murdered disabled children by...
Oh, well, that's not that bad.
Let's see.
Hitler...
Oh, so you did find something that you liked about Hitler.
You were saying the same fucking thing like two weeks ago.
You said the same thing, that they should be euthanized because they're a drain on families and society.
You said that.
I didn't say exactly that.
And you said that you would love to go on big shooting sprees.
What bigger shooting spree than the Holocaust?
Look, comparisons
between me and Hitler aside, of which there
may be some similarities. I need one more.
Big shooting. Get rid of
mentally infirm people.
Shut up. Starting World War II.
Basically a big shooting spree.
Hitler authorized all phases
of the Nazi Party's euthanasia efforts in order
to cleanse Germany's Aryan race
leading to the deaths of at least 6 million Jews.
The infamous use of gas chambers
at Hitler's extermination camps
was responsible for much of the killing.
Well, that's just...
Oh, and then this whole...
That's the worst part.
Is that the worst, or did you save something?
Is that your worst thing?
I mean, there's a lot of them.
You wouldn't even say this to Kanye's face.
That mustache was pretty bad. I would say
this to Kanye's face. Yeah.
I think nobody is really...
Everyone's really softball
in Kanye... or yay. Sorry.
You fucking dead.
Yay-dolph, there you go.
Everybody's treating him with
kid clubs because there's this weird... did you see the Gavin McGinnis interview
Oh that was pathetic
What did you think about that Danny
Gavin McGinnis interviewing
I mean I love that he has Alex Jones
And Gavin McGinnis
Like both kind of besides themselves
Being like I don't know
They're like if we can't reason with this dude
And meet him somewhere
Like in the middle or whatever we're're like, I don't know.
What's weird is their white man confidence.
They go, surely I can convince this black gentleman that Hitler was bad.
I'm watching Gavin McGinnis rehearse his lines in the car.
I'm like, this is the most pathetic.
What are you, practicing to run game on the head cheerleader?
That's fucking pathetic, dude.
Like, they're all trying to walk him back into their version of conservatism
so they can turn around and go like, well, guys, darn it, I try to conserve.
All of those guys.
Because they want him.
He's a big get.
Oh, that's a huge get.
Yeah.
I'll tell you this.
They're all fucking liars.
Like, anybody who says, like Gavin was saying this, well, people should be,
people should all be treated like
as individuals.
There's no such thing as a group.
Like, okay, so I guess if you see like a woman driving, you're like, well, I don't know.
She could be the greatest driver ever.
She could be super great with money.
I guess that's you then, bro, because you never fucking group anybody together.
Fucking Socrates.
Thank you so much for enlightening us.
I'm so dumb
That I'd ever group
Anybody together
You'd be great
For the black vote
Well you know
Everybody's their own
Fucking person
Thanks Tim
Thanks for your input
You fucking moron
Everyone makes generalizations
But it is
Sad
It's sad to watch
Those videos
Where very clearly
Alex Jones and Gavin
Are like
God if I could just get
this guy to be my brand of conservative oh i'd be rich money oh god yeah he'd be right i'm trying
to just pry him away from nick fuentes they just want to be and candace owens you know kind of
yeah yeah yeah how is it that nick has all the control well but he doesn't because he's perfect
he's fucking great that's why he's not have. Probably because he's perfect. He's fucking great.
Shut up with this shit.
He's not perfect.
Yes, he is.
He's only 24.
You weren't half the man, Nick, is at 24.
He has so much time to learn and teach.
Stop.
Stop.
He can live to be 90 years old.
You're such a fucking idiot.
65 years of lecturing about America being first and stuff.
And lecturing about how we need to be a Christian Orthodox nation
with no pornography and no premarital infidelity of any sort,
all of which I know you're against.
Hitler got the Iron Cross in World War I.
He fought for his country.
Have you ever fought for your country?
He fought for the Germans.
That's not good.
World War I.
World War I was not a good war.
It was still a bad war. Yeah, but it
was the mustard gas war.
The Germans were throwing that shit around.
Hitler ruined that dumb little mustache.
Think of how annoying it would be
if everybody was walking around.
Imagine hipsters. Oh, you're saying you want,
you're glad the mustache is gone? I've had a relative
who had that mustache, too.
He was, like, he survived
the Holocaust,
the Jewish guy,
and he had it because he's like,
for whatever reason,
he just didn't want to get rid of it. I think it could be a good look.
I bet I would look great with that mustache.
There's not a good look.
I can't do it.
I was 10 years old.
Didn't Michael Jordan try that mustache?
He did in a Hanes commercial.
Yeah.
It looked great.
Yeah.
Adolf Hitler loved dogs.
Best-selling writer.
Best-selling... Wow. He'd be in his DMs all day. Hey, Hitler, Adolf Hitler loved dogs Best selling writer Well
You'd be in his DMs all day
Hey Hitler did you see me at the Netflix protest
I saw that your book got banned
I don't do that
I don't slap any DMs
Why do people tell you stories
Anyway
I just think that this Hitler guy
He seems like he's not a very
Great guy I mean we talked about all this I just think that this Hitler guy He seems like he's not a very great guy
Bad news
All this
Final solution stuff
He made these six different camps
Including the most famous of which
Was Auschwitz-Birkenau
These were camps meant for murder, Dick
And then afterwards
The Nazi party was so ashamed
Of what they had done and afraid of the ramifications
That they destroyed the camps
because they knew
what they were doing was wrong.
You think that was out of shame? I don't know.
It was out of something.
And then
you know that Hitler was very
bitter and jealous
of artists who were successful.
Did you know that?
He was highly critical
of contemporary movements like
Dadaism and Cubism.
Like Isom.
He was anti-Isom. Was he
anti-woke or was he pro-woke?
The worst part of this show is that on any other podcast
they go, Hitler, that's a slam dunk, right?
And now I know I'm going to check the
fucking voting. Hitler, downvote,
downvote, terrible problem. Upvote you mean?, Hitler, downvote, downvote, terrible problem.
Upvote, you mean?
Oh, no, downvote.
Yeah, downvote.
Yeah, you're right.
Because our audience is very unpredictable.
Guys, I'm just saying there's guys like Hitler, some modern guys who kind of look and remind me of them,
maybe Nick Fuentes.
And I don't like these kind of guys.
They preach a lot of hate.
They got a lot of hate in their hearts. They don't like people
of different religions,
different ethnicities. I mean,
and the horror, let's put it this way,
Hitler was so horrible
that what is it? How horrible was he?
How horrible? 80 years
later, he's able to
infect the mind of our great
black individuals and convince them
that the Jews are up to something.
He was a mind virus of a man.
Plus he ruined the mustache.
Put on that fancy suit and that funny mustache and he infects.
Like 100 years of human history, 200 years.
When are we ever going to get away from this guy?
He never goes away.
That's why you got to stop thinking he's a problem.
Got to just pretend
he doesn't even exist, but how can I
when Mr. Ye is out here telling
everyone that we need to love
Hitler? Yeah, you know what he's talking
about though, right? Okay, you think
okay, yeah.
Because people keep saying, no, it's
just this like Christian love everybody
thing. Yeah, but I
said this before. But then he adds on to it.
I was just going to say, yes, he says the love everyone,
but also isn't part of that also forgive everybody,
which Ye is not doing.
Right.
Yeah.
So should he not be doing both of those things?
Also, I'm confused.
It seems like he's not a picking and choosing,
which is kind of something that Jews do.
He's also doing when he says like, I love Hitler because I'm a Christian,
then he also says, like, take that, Ari Emanuel.
Yeah, which is what I think that's...
That's not an expression of love.
You can't love Hitler out of spite for a Jewish executive.
Yeah.
That's not pure Christian love.
Yeah, but you're the guy on Twitter, like, making pedophile jokes.
No, I don't.
Yeah, you did. the guy on Twitter like making pedophile jokes. No, I don't yeah you did like occasionally so
It's not the only joke I make
Okay
Yeah, he's making jokes. I don't know I'm saying he's saying stuff. Here's the thing you can't go mentally
I love everybody. I love I love the you know Jews and I love Hitler
But then he goes the Holocaust didn't happen Which makes me think
Did he say that?
Yeah he said that a bunch of times
Did you watch it?
I don't know if he said those words
He didn't say it didn't happen
He said it was just kind of over exaggerated
Okay he said it was exaggerated
And the abortion of black babies is another Holocaust
He keeps saying that abortion thing
Nobody's forcing abortions on anybody
Well It doesn't work Holocaust and we don't talk about it. He keeps saying that abortion thing. He goes, nobody's forcing abortions on anybody.
Well, I tried.
It doesn't work. I can't even get a fucking girlfriend to do it.
You know.
They're walking them through it.
Is it different?
We understand that it's different when
something that's alive and living a life is
horribly forced into a gas chamber as opposed
to a thing that never lived is like yanked out of a non-existent state i don't know if you want to throw i don't
know if you want to conflate the arguments of abortion and the holocaust i don't think that's
gonna go well for you doing no it's not it's going spectacularly i don't think you want to
make people pick between abortion and the holoca I want you to pick. Abortion.
Which is worse?
Put a poll in the chat right now.
I used to do this joke on Twitter
that was what was worse,
American slavery or the Holocaust.
Yeah.
Like back when you could joke on Twitter.
And now I realize like that,
that joke would be the end of me.
Put up a poll.
Ask people.
That should be your first thing back.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure
I know he knows the holocaust happened in some respect
But he's downplaying it weirdly
He's saying like
Oh it didn't really go that way and it wasn't that bad
How much more do you want him to play it up though?
I don't want him to play it up at all
I want him to stop
He's nuts
I mean the crazy thing is he's kind of like run out of podcasts to do.
Like, what's next?
Dude, on Gavin, he was super boring to listen to.
He's always got nothing left to say.
Should he go on the boys cast?
Would you guys let him on the boys cast?
Probably.
We had Sneeko on there on the boys cast like six months ago,
and now Sneeko's working with Ye.
Yeah.
He's in there with him.
We, of course, have had, what do you call it,
Josh Denny on here a couple times, and him and Ye are buddies now.
Is that true?
Yeah.
They're texting.
That's wild.
It is wild.
What do you think about it?
Who could have ever predicted that Kanye West would be in our weird fucking corner of the internet?
Apparently, though, he's also holding court with Owen Benjamin, and that's not good. Owen Benjamin posted a
photo of him in this giant
Ye 24
gene. Owen Benjamin is legitimately
insane.
Even more so than Ye.
Would you say that what Ye has right now
is black privilege?
The fact that he can say all this stuff and just
I feel like a white man
in his position would be truly ruined. A white man in his position would be truly ruined.
A white man in his position would not have his song still on Spotify.
It would be like overnight.
Everything is gone.
He would be like completely unperson.
It's only because it's yay that we have the,
that they'll give him the mental health excuse.
They go,
well,
he's just crazy.
Maybe he'll be on crazy in like a month.
Yeah. No white guy ever gets the mental health. What's the, well, he's just crazy. Maybe he'll be on crazy in like a month. Yeah.
No white guy ever gets the mental health.
Crazy part though.
He's saying it on TV.
Like no one care of ease.
Yes,
they would.
Nobody,
nobody loves Hitler.
Dick.
That's what I'm saying.
I just gave you new.
Yeah.
That's no sane person.
No sane person loves Hitler.
Yeah, I don't know.
I would have thought that a few weeks ago as well,
but go look at YouTube comments.
Go look at the guy from the ADL.
No, they're all trolling because they think it's funny.
Did you see the guy from the ADL was on the Breakfast Club yesterday?
Yeah.
Go check out those comments and see if anybody likes Hitler, loves Hitler.
What's the sane response when the president of the ADL
goes on the breakfast club and says,
we got to get him
before what he says gets to more people?
Like, what's the mentally healthy response
to a guy saying that?
Actually, I saw that clip and I go,
that's got to be out of context.
And then I went and listened
to the whole interview and I was like,
what is wrong with the ADL, man? in my not to defend him i think he meant we them as we got to get them as in like the adl get them but it did not sound like that at all yeah that's worse
it sounds pretty bad i just want to know what the sane response is
yeah somebody in the chat with the name youtube Commenter says we are not trolling Vito
Well thank you YouTube commenters
Everywhere
I think some of you are trolling
Point is I do not like this
Hitler man kind of a
I do not like him Sam I am
Kind of a big jerk
He's dead though
And that's something I can vote up
He's not a problem anymore And that's something I can vote up every day of the week. So he's not a problem anymore.
He clearly still is.
His fucking influence, his tendrils have echoed throughout history.
And that's a problem.
His evil tendrils?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like nobody else did anything, right?
I'm not saying no one else did anything.
There's a lot of problems.
Hitler's so bad because everyone needs him to be so bad because they're like, well, if
it was happening again I would fucking do something
He's probably worse
Than Seth Rogen
So you could probably
Vote him up above that
That would be reasonable
Seth Rogen is going to
Ruin the Mario movie though
That's true
How many Mario movies
Has Hitler ruined?
I don't know
I haven't thought about it
Danny what do you think
On Hitler?
Thumbs up?
Thumbs down?
If anything he created
He created the Mario movie
Because it led to us
Nuking Japan
and them revitalizing their economy.
So Hitler led to Mario.
I'm going to go thumbs down on Hitler.
Thumbs down.
This could get clipped out of context
like when Vito said I love Hitler.
Oh, there's so many, yeah.
But now at this point, everyone's said it.
Everyone's quoted that goddamn interview.
Yeah, it doesn't work if you quote it.
You think he's worse than Alex Jones, Hitler?
I think he's worse.
Because Alex Jones killed, basically terrorized those parents.
Shut up, you're school.
Yeah.
Stop making me feel bad for Alex Jones.
You shouldn't feel bad for Alex Jones.
He's a demon.
Are they going to collect any of that money?
Because that settlement is ridiculous.
That's the most American shit ever.
They go, you owe $1.5 billion.
But even if they get $50 million
out of it, which is what they're saying, I'm like, that's
absurd. He didn't kill anybody.
He should have to work for them.
Wouldn't McDonald's have to pay for that fucking
drive-thru hot coffee? Hey, that was a real one.
That really melted that
lady's privates. Yeah, that actually did.
I don't know. I feel like that's
And inspectors had been to that store numerous times
And said this coffee is like
Literally scalding hot
Turn it down
You know this story backwards and forwards
I go to McDonald's
I know all the McDonald's lore
Our problems are Hitler
Yeah
The war on anonymity And the female dating strategy podcast, right?
Fantastic.
Danny, do you want to give your plugs and stuff?
And then we're going to listen to some more stories.
My plugs are follow, subscribe to me on YouTube, underscore Danny.
Or just my full name, Danny Polisak, youtube.com.
Danny Polisak.
Danny jokes everywhere.
Tuesday nights, I got my call-in show,
Low Value Mail.
Wednesday nights, The Bathhouse,
which is live from the Stan Comedy Club.
It's a call-in show as well.
Friday, The Boys Cast with Ryan Long.
That's it.
God, are you doing shows three nights out of the week?
Oh, and I stream the Female Dating Strategy Podcast
pretty much on Sundays.
Jesus.
That's awesome.
That's great.
It's a big show.
Yeah.
All right, well, everybody check it out.
It's hell for everybody involved. Don't forget to vote on the problems at biggestproblem. That's great. It's a good show. Yeah. All right, well, everybody check it out. It's hell for everybody involved.
Don't forget to vote on the problems at biggestproblem.show.
Okay.
Pearson voice calls.
We'll see which is worse, Hitler or a dating podcast.
Well, you didn't say what's worse.
We're saying what's a problem.
I know.
I'm just fucking with you.
Oops.
My mouse froze.
Hold on.
It's your mouse.
There we go.
This is the live show.
For those of you who watch the video hey guys uh
this is a guy who passed out at the live show for those of you who watch the video i can be seen
in the front row on the right wearing the waifu watcher shirt being the only one dancing uh when
yeah so listen uh i got a few things here first all, to the guy who wrote in saying that audience participation is a problem.
Listen,
I've been listening to Dick since episode one of the original base problem.
I think I deserve a little bit of audience participation.
No,
no,
no.
I'm owed at least that I've been paying Patreon long enough.
I don't know.
Second of all,
don't tell me,
other guy,
that you know
how drunk I got
and I don't know
how drunk I got.
Listen, man.
I was using
the tree as a pillow
first of all.
Uh-huh.
Okay,
and then it just passed out again.
Okay,
here's the deal.
You can be
the biggest fan
in the world. You can buy everything in the world. Don't participate deal You can be the biggest fan in the world
You can buy everything in the world
Don't participate
You can like
You can like cheer
Like you can shout a couple things
Yeah
But then you end up like that one guy
Who just would not stop interrupting
Over on the other side
And I don't care how many episodes he's listened to
It was fucking up the show
Yeah
That was funny when you yelled at him though
Was it?
I couldn't even tell yeah
it's funny all right good okay here's you do a bunch of live shows danny you deal with a lot
of like stupid heckler idiots honestly it's so crazy because i do so many live call-in shows i
don't have any kind of screener i straight up i pick up the phone every time yeah and it's unreal
that i haven't had any issues really we had one episode of the bathhouse where we were getting prank called a lot just because but i think it was just someone who kept
spoofing a number and so they so mostly the cone stuff is just fine it's honestly totally fine and
again like i don't have uh the what is the ftc like i'm not on the radio i'm on youtube so
someone really says something crazy i hang up on. Well, this is actually at our live show.
We had people who think because they listen to us on YouTube,
they can come to a live show and yell as if they're listening to it in their house.
And we're like, yeah, just don't do that as much.
Sounds like a lot of your listeners are autistic.
Douchebags.
Yeah.
Autistic.
Douchebags.
Voting up.
No, I love her.
I love her.
Yeah, you're right.
That's an autistic thing to do. Okay. Here we go. Voting up. I love it. Yeah, you're right. That's an autistic thing to do.
Okay, here we go.
This is a giant problem, bro.
The fact that all of a sudden there's these AI-generated self-images of each other.
And without a doubt, everybody's looking better than what their own self reality looks like now.
Cut him.
Just cut him.
Guys, 30 seconds.
Get it out.
Practice it.
If you load a voicemail and it says a minute 14 and it starts off with, the thing is, guys, just cut it.
See, it's funny when you're doing that.
Okay, but I don't, like, you can tell.
Here's another one.
Try recording that again, whoever that was.
Get it, 30 seconds, you go.
Oh, shit, I deleted it.
All right.
Whatever.
Here's another one.
Vito framed his bad blood problem on the internet
when really he should have framed it around your girlfriend not liking one of your friends. That's a good one. What have you been doing? Oh, I've been hanging out with so-and-so And they have to go on for a fucking hour-long rant About how terrible a person that is
And how they don't like them
And how they don't ever want to see them
And if they're anywhere that you are
That they're not going to go
And blah, blah, blah, blah
It's fucking
Oh, yeah, no
Don't not go where I am
That would be horrible
I'm always the friend who the girlfriend hates
So
Why?
I'd be like, hey, can we hang out? He's like, I don't know My girlfriend's around why i'd be like hey can we hang out he's like i don't know
my girlfriend's around and she doesn't like you at all i don't know because they see a big fat
cat and i'm a huge misogynist asshole and it rubs them the wrong way i think all women are whores
okay um that's not true i love women it's okay one more here we go
oh fuck you veto i uh okay i'll admit i'm a bit of an incel and went on a date though today so
that was oh good job i get you know we're talking and then she brings up that spiders are actually good and you
shouldn't kill them and all i'm now what i'm thinking about instead of you know trying to
pretend to be normal for the pretty girl that i'm talking to i'm now thinking about your fat
fuck ass explaining that spiders are pointless spider apologists are actually evil
and because i agreed with you on that but now it's like i have to just restrain myself from
now what i'm saying is i don't need you putting more impediments giving me more reasons to hate
women like i honestly i should stop listening to the show but well it is funny if you don don't want to hate women, listening to anything in the dick show universe is probably not.
Anyway, the thing I agree with you, but also stop bringing in problems I agree with,
because then it causes problems for me.
Okay, whatever.
Yeah, makes sense.
All right.
Take care of yourself.
Spiders are pointless.
Danny, what do you think about spiders?
I'm not a huge fan of them.
I don't think they're pointless, though.
What do you think about people who are like,
they see a spider and they're like, I gotta bring it outside
because it's so important to the environment.
Oh, that's, yeah, that's
nonsense.
You know, it's gonna really help my crops
when the harvest comes in.
Exactly.
No, come on.
It always makes a difference.
Well, that's the argument.
Did you know spiders kill other spiders, which is the reason spiders are good?
Yeah.
Okay.
Follow that logic if you can.
You want to do the super chat?
Yeah, where are we starting from?
I think this one.
Just drag it.
Oh, no, you can't cover it up.
No, I can't cover Danny's face.
It's not that one from Evil whatever
That one's from the last show
Well you can read it if you want
Well who knows if it's from the last show
But Evil Fossil for 11.11
With three praying black hands
Thank you
There you go
Inshallah
John Riffs for 10
Two out of the third
Two out of three hosts are gay
Twice in a row
LOL
Those who don't stand with yay would not have stood with MLK.
That's absolutely right.
If you don't stand with yay, you wouldn't have stood with MLK.
That's not true.
I don't follow that logic.
I don't follow that logic at all.
Vinlay, for a big $50, give me a ding, dick, says, I just made my fiance cry.
Inshallah.
Damn Cheetos.
Well, inshallah to you, my brother.
Thanks, man.
Thank you, sir.
Pete Oxenham for two.
Any chance this guy can say something more outrageous?
I love him.
Thank you.
Who's he talking to?
CG for five.
Who is actually excited for a 3.5 hour long
Fern Gully sequel
That sounds like
A gay version
Of the Clockwork Orange
Torture
I actually can go
To the critic screening
Of Avatar 2
But I'm not going
Because I hate
The 3D glasses
I haven't even seen
The first one
That's crazy
But yeah I hate
Those 3D glasses too
I get a headache
I'm like I'm gonna get
Half an hour in
And I'm gonna have to leave.
Benjamin for $9.89.
Vito seems like a weak and floppy handshake guy.
Why?
I was confirmed that I gave great handshakes and that the previous live show, your road rage.
I'm done doing handshakes.
I fucking hate handshakes, man.
Well, I just fist bump.
I always try to do a fist bump.
Less contact, less germs, quicker, more efficient.
Yeah.
Riley, for 10, tonight I'm using, oh no, this is mint salad.
Tonight I'm using cinder blocks in my dinner salad instead of croutons.
Because the man Dick Masterson is back.
Yes!
Back on Twitter.
I'm going to stay up all night.
Tweet.
What's the first thing I should tweet?
Well, that's the thing.
You've got to plan your first tweet back.
I don't want to plan it. I just want to go from the hip. Bah, bah, bah, bah. No, it's the first thing I should tweet? Well, that's the thing, you gotta plan your first tweet back I don't wanna plan it, I just wanna go From the hip
I'll post that Rayleon shit
Don't post the Rayleon thing
Oh god
Hey, David March is here, good friend David March
Five, panel question
Would you marry a girl who has been with 350 guys?
No
Tommy Tanaka, yes, absolutely
What kind of dumb question is that
I mean she would have to
There's just like
I think even if she doesn't have
Like an STD
There's just some weird
Ancestral taint
It going on in there
You're talking about
The hottest porn star
You just would not
Want to fuck
I would just constantly
Be thinking of all the cum
That had been
Around her
That's fucking gay
I know
What?
I hate cum
I think it's gross
You sucked a guy's dick
Well, they didn't cum
Or at least they didn't cum in my mouth
Didn't you taste it, like bubbling around and shit in there?
I don't know, I wasn't like going like too aggressive on it i wasn't damn i should have read your early life section on wikipedia
anyway i think cum's disgusting i hate it why would you be thinking about it when you're
fucking a girl then well if she's hot too like she'd be like this isn't some if she's had 650
guys that's 350 loads at At least. That's like a
swimming pool full of cum
that has been on and
in and around her. Why does
more loads, like why is a thousand
worse than one?
Because one you can go like, alright,
I can brush it off. It's
already gone. What do you mean?
I'm saying I think it lingers. It's like ghost
cum. It's like forever attached to her.
Ghost. That's just how it feels
mentally to me. Do you think about
that? I try not to think about that stuff
generally. Well, that's
why you're a more healthier and happier individual.
You should practice meditation. You gotta be in the moment.
Anytime I close my eyes, I see cum
so it's never gonna work. Okay.
The meditation, I've tried.
Maybe I need a better
Better mantra
Anyway David
That was my answer
Dick says yes
Danny would you
Marry a girl
Who's been with 350 guys
Sure
There you go
I mean I wouldn't marry her
But
It says would you marry
Well I
I would lie about it
Like oh yeah
We're getting married
Sure
Okay you would lie to a woman
About potentially marrying her.
That's the same.
That's the context of his question.
You can't just say, just say, okay, you just want to sleep with Hitomi Tanaka.
I got it.
Cool for two.
Thank you all for not killing yourselves.
We're doing our best.
Benjamin for $9.99.
You don't have to work out your body, Vito.
Just work out your face.
You got a big fat face.
Krabzula for $5.55.
Hey, Dick, any relation to Danny Masterson, the actor from that
70s show, accused rapist, currently
on trial? Well, actually... No, he's free!
He's free. Yes! More freedom!
It's a big week for
freedom. Well...
Danny's out to rape another day!
Don't, don't. That's not what...
He's my cousin. I gave him tips. No, you didn't.
Please don't make that part of the lore.
Why? He's innocent. What was it? It was mistrial uh innocence not the same guilty it is literally innocent
it's not guilty that's fucking innocent welcome to america bro maybe in hitler's germany it was
i don't partially innocent but in america it's fucking innocent, dude. Fair enough. Reek, did I ever tell you I was
on a reality show with
Danny Masterson? No.
It was like a prank show. Did he rape you?
No, but I like, I brought
my friend was the mark, so I
brought him to this house
and told him that these two beautiful women wanted to
have sex with us. I'm gonna suck his dick and not let him come.
No, no, no. There's two beautiful
like models, and I told them they really
want to like fuck or whatever it was.
And then me and one of the girls went
in the other room and then he
was stuck out there with the other girl and then her husband
comes home and it's like a whole thing, right?
And the idea is Danny Masterson
was in like a sound booth going, tell him to
say this or it'll be funny if he said that.
And it was
all fake, obviously obviously and we never met
danny masterson even once and now i'm realizing because of this i will never be able to get
footage of that ever again because it has been memory holds because of the rape yeah or the
rape that didn't happen the consensual sex yeah so you'll never get to see me awkwardly leave my
friend uh we'll find it it's a good story too bad i'll have to tell the whole
story sometime uh reek veto hitler is the hanukkah monster or mel gibson that might be true that would
be cool if the jews at hanukkah had like a little stuffed hitler and the kids had to like you know
fight it or something i don't know it had a little something but that's my again that's my
christian like hitler well that's my christian upbringing is i always want little characters and fanciful details you love hitler you couldn't live without
him who would you blame who would be the bad guy then fucking thanos i don't love hitler
michael fee for five says veto your willingness to say negro is hilarious you need to start saying
hebe tbF to the Jews.
Benjamin for $4.99.
Vito as the prosecutor
in the Nuremberg trials.
I would have done great.
No one could have failed.
I would have really...
I guess.
A couple of those guys
were a little squeaky.
Pete Oxenham for $10.
Congratulations, Dick,
for being back on Twitter.
Stoked to have you back, buddy.
Politics aside,
I hope these liberal Vito-style folks
will finally decide
TBF to Alex Jones to
hashtag free Alex Jones
kill Alex Jones in
Minecraft.
We love Alex.
Apparently I don't.
Shut up.
I hate him.
You love him.
How many?
Why could he treat
someone's parents like
that and their families
despicable?
Once he pays the
billion, we'll all forgive him.
Not me.
Reek for two.
Dick, Vito is definitely more than twice the man.
Thank you.
CG for five.
I'm old enough to remember when at least six million Jews used to be up to six million Jews.
I'm not old enough to remember that, too.
You must be pretty old.
Yeah, I don't remember all the numbers.
I love that Vito reads this in like such a classic
broadcaster voice too.
Yeah, and they're all
horrible comments about Hitler.
They're like the worst comments,
but you sound like
such a broadcaster.
The thing about the Jews
is they're sneaky,
grubby-handed little devils
who I just don't trust
as far as I can throw them.
Thank you, commenter.
Yeah, not good.
Drunk in Atheist Studio for five.
Great episode.
I saw Danny do stand-up in Chicago last year.
Got to grab drinks with him, Ryan, and the quartering.
Good times.
Yeah, I got fucked up.
That's cool.
Got fucked up there.
And Maladroit for $9.99.
He may not be able to make a car that doesn't explode,
a spaceship that doesn't explode,
or a brain chip that doesn't explode,
but at least he unbanned Dick. So I
guess Elon's okay.
Here's close to $8.
He didn't do it fast enough, though.
You really gonna nitpick this man? He just got
in there. He had a couple priorities before
unbanning the great Dick Masterson.
Alright, he's fighting
for his life up there. I'm not
grateful of things.
Okay.
And then he brought back
his friend,
Ye,
and what does Ye do?
Immediately betrays him.
Immediately fucking banned Ye.
Well,
Ye betrayed his trust.
Now I still have to keep
truth social or whatever.
He went to Ye
and he's like,
you're definitely not going to post
any weird variations
of the swastika, right?
And he's like,
absolutely not, Elon.
Everything's going to be great.
And then immediately,
swastika is a hit.
Oh, thank God no one saw the swastika again.
Oh, fuck.
Well, God forbid anyone sees a fucking swastika around.
Every time I see it, I feel like.
He should have posted that fucked up one that was all drawn.
Someone was learning for the first time.
Yeah, it's all backwards and shit.
Danny, thanks a lot for coming on, man.
One more time.
Guys, go to YouTube.com slash underscore Danny to find all the great
Danny Polishek stuff
he's got a million shows
and we love them all
yeah
don't forget to vote
on the problems
at biggestproblem.show
Dick can you show us
our top supporters
real quick
oh yeah
and let's say we got
maybe one last super chat
we'll maybe read that one
real quick
I think I messed up
on the
hold on
just put anyone
it doesn't matter
I haven't updated it, so...
Okay.
I'm going to update it.
All right, look.
It's within...
It's about a month.
Our top supporters,
we do have a new bonus episode
of The Biggest Problem
in the holidays.
Talking about Christmas,
Chanukah,
Kwanzaa,
and all your favorites
at patreon.com slash biggest problem.
We are currently under $6,000 a month, so these stingers will stop.
If you fucking people don't stop penny pinching, I'm going to buy my kids presents.
Pay for the bonus episodes.
Buy them a bonus episode.
Put their name.
You pieces of shit.
It's like naming a star after them.
You name an episode after them.
Buy your kids a subscription to The Biggest Problem.
Danny, thanks for
coming by. It's been great having you.
My pleasure. Thanks so much for having me.
Absolutely.
I'm going to check out all your talking about this
fucking lady podcast.
I'm going to do another one on Sunday
if anybody wants to join us in hell.
It's torture.
Alright. Bye, guys's torture. Alright.
That's a show.
Bye, guys.
Bye-bye.