The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 8 - Food for Thots

Episode Date: August 23, 2021

Payment Processors, Millionaire Socialists, Culinary Gatekeepers, Goth Erasure

Fucking nailed it. Nailed it. We're nailing it. Nailing it. Here we go. Welcome to the Biggest Problem in the Universe. I'm your host, the show that ranks every problem in the universe. I'm your host, Dick Masterson. over the top. Because I forgot to adjust the levels before the show, but now it's too late. Boom, and now it's done. We'll see how you mix that one up. I'm not gonna mix it. No. Oh shit, I just realized I have to. Hey everybody, welcome to

The Biggest Problem in the Universe, episode eight. You can see it at biggestproblem.show. Vote on the problems and support the Patreon at patreon.com slash biggestproblem. Thank you to all the patrons who are doing that. Yes, thank you. Vito, how you doing? It's been a week. It's been a week and a week. You feeling good about this? The results this week? No. Why is that? I mean, do I do I own it? Look, so I had one problem that I was going to bring in. And then we had a little here comes Biden.

Here comes Biden holding his press conference. President Vito, why did you fuck up in Iraq or in Afghanistan? I didn't have enough puppet facts prepared. What do you think? I think that there could have been more stuff. I could have thought through my arguments a little harder. And I feel like ultimately I did not make the strongest case. Against puppets. Against puppets, no.

Here's the results. Come on last week roll scientism Wow, of course nails it Prison rape second place. I'll take a second wrong with that Anybody can get behind prison, right? Yeah, picky Parker's was a solid one. I want to put that in number one We're far parking now. I I've's was third. That's a solid one. I would have put that at number one. We're far parking now. I've been far parking. That's great. I've always been far parking, though. But now I think I'm going to far park even harder.

Now I feel good about it. Yeah. Now I feel like I'm far. Now I can take pictures. We're part of a movement now. Yeah. And then last in the negative, puppets. Puppets. Wow. Do you want to apologize to puppets? Any puppets? Any puppets in particular?

Well, let's just say that some puppets don't deserve my ire and I feel bad that I used the umbrella of puppets. I feel like perhaps I could have narrowed it down

to more specific genres of puppets. And that's where I made a mistake. You're basically saying that Star Wars is bullshit, Jurassic Park is...

No, because that doesn't... Yeah, see, I like that, though. Here's Power Cage. I like practical effects, but sometimes... Yeah. I don't know, man. Power Cage says, Vito, Jurassic Park was a combination of puppets and CGI. I know that.

I watched the thing. Did you know? Oh, did you know that that show that tells everybody this bit of information? This guy knows it too. He watched the new thing that everybody on Netflix tuned into because they like immediately jam it in your face Yeah, I don't know if you know this video. I watched this thing that all of America watched So let me tell you let me distill it for you. That's what the rest of them The original trilogy of Star Wars was all CGI, which is why they look so terrible Yeah, it's just for you. I was distracted by the giant creepy puppet and then I started thinking about Jeff Dunham

But I did forget about some of history's great puppets I must be fair Hale Keeser says the same people who aren't questioning the scientists and doctors now would have been the people who didn't question them when they Started pushing opioids circumcision lobotomies leeching and all sorts of other medical quackery quackery circumcision what do you think about that uh it has no benefits as far as we know other than it's easier to clean suppose well some people say it's easier i've never cleaned an uncircumcised cock so i don't know yeah i don't know i'm circumccised cock, so I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I'm circumcised. Me too.

Yeah. So I don't know about this digging under your dick skin and pulling out the wads or whatever else. I mean- Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I'm talking about, right? Obviously, I don't because I don't have any wads in my cock. Well, yeah, because you don't have a hood over your penis. When you're uncircumcised, you have that skin that goes around the head and

you have to pull it peel it back and there's that's that where that term dick cheese comes from is it's the stuff that collects under a circumcised penis that the head yeah okay probably a myth i don't think it is i think that i't know. I have not encountered it myself either. Mama Afro 3000 says, it would have gone better for Vito if he had picked refugees instead of puppets. That's probably true. Well, some refugees, it's okay. I don't want to be the anti-refugee guy

right off the bat. Because then they'll let them in and now you're kind of like, oh, sorry guys. That was another guy. What are you calling? What do we do with all these afghani refugees throw them in the trash okay same with the homeless people well to

be fair i mean that's that is where they'll end up oh andrew andrew marquis says we need a swear jar for when veto says to be fair to be fair is a great phrase that is a good phrase worth using uh regularly it should be a part of everyone's natural speech pattern just say you're an idiot like no it's just saying it's a polite way to say that what you're saying is wrong here's why it's a way of saying you know what i'm gonna remain fair and balanced i'm going to give you a fair shake you know now to be fair you know it's it says i mean i hear you i understand that there's different sides of each issue yeah it's it's setting it's declaring that you are the fair exactly the arbiter of fairness yeah it's very presumptuous it's it's declaring annoying i'm a very reasonable person and you my mind is open and you're not if you don't agree with me no absolutely not i'm far

more balanced i tried to find a a um a drop of you saying i suck cocks because you know replace it i have said would i have said that what to be fair no the thing that you were attempting to obtain a drop of what might that be veto i don't don't know, sir. I'm going to get you. You're going to trick me into it. You're just going to, you're just going to isolate like three different words in general together. I suck cock like the worst ones. I'll piece together cock from like cookie and something else. Uh, disinterested yak says best podcast ever. All right, everybody subscribe to the Patreon. Subscribe to the YouTube, all that stuff.

Are we ready to get to today's problems? Yes, we are. You don't have any puppets. I should have brought a puppet. Smurfs. Are you bringing that? What, Smurfs are a problem? Yeah, boobs.

They're not puppets. Smurfs suck, though. Are you a Smurf guy? I won, though. What do you like about the Smurfs? What do you mean, are you a Smurf guy? It's a perfect society. No women. Why, because there's one woman? There's one a Smurf guy? Oh my god. It's a perfect society. No women.

Why? Because there's one woman? There's one too many. One too many. So it's a near perfect society. I skipped the Smurfette episodes. Oh boy. All right.

I'm going first, right? Yeah, take it home. Okay. Here we go. Payment processors. Yeah. Payment processors. Payment processors.

For those of you who don't know, you're not familiar with it, the payment processor is the bank that takes your credit card payment, does it, gets it into the network, and then pays out the other guy. They process your pay. MasterCard's not sitting there doing it themselves. They're just facilitating the network. They're just running the network, right? They're setting up, signing you up you up Giving their card out but an actual bank if you're a business you got to sign up with a credit card a payment Processor and they will handle your processing forever for a fee that while if seeming seemingly small is Totally exorbitant for the for what they do. Yeah, they're not really performing any Labor or anything nothing filling out stuff in a spreadsheet

They wouldn't even make it so to be clear payment processor not Visa or MasterCard they're the intermediary step between them they're the bank that does it and the reason I bring it in if you didn't know OnlyFans as of what this week is now getting rid of doing explicit content because their payment processor, let me read from in here. And they've probably gone through multiple payment processors, so they're probably getting the same note from everybody.

Yeah. Personally, I've been banned from doing credit cards for five years, right? MasterCard didn't do that to me. The payment processor did. Do you understand what I mean? MasterCard said, take a look at this guy. And the bank said, you know what?

Yeah, we are going to put him on the list. You know who can take me off that list? Not MasterCard, the payment processor. It's one thing. Oh, wow. It's one thing to do evil. This is my point with the payment processors. It's one thing to be evil. This is my point with the payment process. It's one thing to be evil.

We can all understand that. It's one thing to be the emperor in Star Wars or Hitler or son of Sam or whomever, Hannibal Lecter. You kind of like these guys. You want to know more about them. It's one thing to do evil because at least you're getting something out of it. I might have to push back on that. You kind of like these guys. to do evil because at least you're getting something off of out of it you know i might have to push back on the you kind of like these guys man you gotta maybe some of them it's just something in us is compelled to like it they are compelling figures compelling figures but it's

another thing to do evil while you while it does not benefit you right it's another thing to enact the will of evil people companies organizations whatever to not get anything out of it it is it's there's nothing there's nothing that doesn't even bring them the joy of being cruel it's just like evil for its own sake and that's what payment processors are uh you know how many accounts i've gotten deleted from banks how many payment processors should i guess from banks? How many? From payment processors? How many? Should I guess a number? From all of them.

Think of a bank. I've had an account there that was deleted for fraud over like a $50 transaction. Sorry. You know, we don't want to piss off MasterCard. Like, no, no. This is you. Don't shift the blame on them. Don't be a Biden about this.

Just say you're doing this so if one payment processor reports you do they all know about it yeah and then you can never get on one again because they don't they don't want to uh they don't want to pick you and piss off mastercard but they still do it yeah uh okay here's what only fans did to um did to their to their people illegal content is more closely monitored and removed from sites that they allow. MasterCard will now be holding banks responsible to make sure this gets, MasterCard's requirement is that banks ensure

that sellers have documented consent as well as age and identity verification for those involved in making adult content before being able to process payments. So they have to have consent forms for all the pornography happening. Can you imagine if a bar made you pass a field sobriety test before they served you every beer? Sorry, I can't serve you another beer even though you just walked in the door. I need to do a pen test

To see if you're already shit-faced And I need you to walk this line And say the alphabet backwards Can you imagine if McDonald's Made you take a blood pressure test Before every I wouldn't be having those chicken nuggets I tell you what

I wouldn't pass that test So do they have to get a form Every time they put up a video Or they have to get a form every time they put up a video? Or they have to have a form on file for every performer? For everything. Okay. Now, as I understand it as well, consent can be, I mean, kind of clear on the whole concept of consent that we're all pretending to believe in because it doesn't exist.

It's like one of those things that I just like don't get and will never get. I'm pretty sure it can be revoked at any time. Right. So the biggest pornographers, the biggest sellers of parasocial relationships on the planet said, you know what? This stuff you guys are making us do, we just can't stay in business with it. Yeah. Even the business of selling pussy Cannot create enough money To sustain

What you guys are making us do Just to send money From one lonely incel To some turbo thought who doesn't deserve it That's all we're trying to do here Right? And we can't do it That's really crazy that they could not

Find a way to Or do they think that it's not profitable enough And they would just be better off trying to be a Patreon regardless? Well, how are the fuck or how are you going to how are you going to monitor that? Yeah. It's one thing if you have one bar and you need to make sure that nobody drunk buys a beer. But now all of a sudden, thanks to. You got a billion people. Yeah.

Now all of a sudden, thanks to thanks to the banks that are now making you do this, you've got 10,000 bars. Like, well, I can't fucking do that. Never mind. We're just not serving beer anymore. Yeah. We're just going to do karaoke. We have juice and boba and karaoke, yeah. We've got juice and boba.

We've got some olives at the bar. We've got some peanuts. And kombucha. That's how you're going to get high from now on. Do we know? And it's not our fault. It's MasterC on do we know it's not our fault it's master no it's your fault you guys are doing it because you never say no mastercard says do this evil shit and you say gosh i mean it's really hard to be guys it's really hard to be us right no it's not you guys are assholes you're the one throwing me in! Hitler's a bad guy, but you're the one throwing me in the fucking train car! So you think the payment

processors should tell MasterCard to go fuck themselves? Yeah. No. We're not doing it. We're setting up our own thing. Nah. There should be some kind of pushback that results in change. Yeah. That MasterCard realizes, oh, we can't just

tell every payment processor what to do. To thunder his supplies from people. So what is MasterCard's objection to... Is it the laws right now for sex stuff? Because my understanding was that there's these new sex trafficking laws. Part of it. And MasterCard and whatever are all worried, oh, well, if we accept payment or whatever then we can get sued if somebody traffic's a kid I honestly think that I have no idea what's going on people are so brain dead like I think

suing gun manufacturers and pill manufacturers for opioid addiction has got people just addicted to taking shots at big targets. Yeah. So now, so now when, when adult sites have to have everyone on their network do a, take a picture with their fucking ID, which is a nightmare because they cannot, there's no way in hell they can keep that data safe. Right? So you got every hot amateur on the planet now

doxing them. In a database, yeah. No, thanks. Like, no thanks. Meanwhile, Twitter's got more child porn on it than all the porn sites put together. Right. And they won't even take it down if you take them to court over it. Yeah, who was that person

that had videos of her going around? She was like, hey, I was 16 in those videos. You guys legally should not be hosting them. And they're like, yeah, what are you going to do? Fuck you, what are you going to do? Take us to court? I think, but I think one part of the problem is that I saw, because this isn't just OnlyFans. Like Pornhub had the same problem.

Yeah. I think Pornhub and MasterCard are being sued for sex trafficking. Wonderful. Yeah. Well, there you go. That's my problem. Lawsuit culture. No, that's a problem for you

You know don't take my This is payment This is payment processes This is payment processes Well They don't do anything They should stand up Is what I'm hearing

They need to stand up against it They need to stand up against it Let me see I'm just trying to get It's a very complicated issue That's the problem Seems complicated But it's not

It's not Everybody's guilty Anybody anybody who ever says well that guy's making it no no no no no no no you guys you guys are doing this i know you're i know you're trying to make it sound like somebody else is but you're the one you're the ones who put me on the match list and are not taking me off you're the ones who shut my account down everyone's fucking account down you're the one with all me off. You're the ones who shut my account down. Everyone's fucking account down. You're the one with all the goddamn money. You're the ones with all the money.

Stop. Well, they're a bank. You think they could, you know, like on how much money sitting around, poor bank. Oh, we can't do anything. You're all the fucking money sitting there. Well, that's my problem. You know?

And the worst thing is the people cheering it on. Well, yeah That's what drives me nuts. All these thoughts are getting patrolled You guys do the same people doing the same thing to us Do you not realize like the the reason we're getting kicked off a YouTube patreon whatever is the fucking processor says no I mean I had a guy today cuz I made that same point He was like, why are you feeling bad for these thoughts? You know, because if you got kicked off YouTube They'd be on their side like yeah screw that guy and I'm like first of all I don't even know if that's true

And second of all even if it is like the whole point of having principles is even when the bad thing happens to somebody You don't like yeah, you still acknowledge that it's a bad thing When you're like, I don't like prison rape and they're like, yeah, but that guy's getting prison rape. He sucks. Okay. Well, that's kind of funny. And yeah, the shooting fruity on that guy. But I still don't like prison rape.

Yeah. Yeah. You got to go both ways on this one. You can't, you can't be like, yeah, take that. All you only fans people. Yeah. Because it's a problem for the free speech crowd and whatever else. The white nationalists.

I know some of you weirdos care about that stuff. Well, they're the same as the OnlyFans thoughts. Well, there you go. That's my problem. Great problem, Dick. Yeah. What do you think? Pretty good.

I mean, not as good as my problems, but definitely solid. Thank you. Solid. Well, I brought in a problem as my problems, but definitely solid. Thank you. Solid. Well, I brought in a problem of my own, Dick. All right. As is the theme of the show. I don't know why I have to lead into it. Do you want a drum roll?

Would it help? No, no, no. I would say, though, one of the great things about this country, Dick, is the idea of a melting pot. The melting pot. Have you ever heard of that term? Yeah. The idea that cultures from around the world pot you ever heard of that that term yeah the idea that cultures from around the world have all managed to make their way here we share culture we learn

things from each other uh find new passions find new interests and ultimately create an all-new culture an american culture some people don't like that but we have different food we have different that's what it yeah that's what it is. Well, that's the best. Isn't that one of the best parts of America? I can go get a taco. I can go get some sushi. All right. I shouldn't even know what Vietnamese food tastes like. They were our enemy for years, but now, now I know. Thanks to diversity. Now you know what it tastes like. And I can have a white guy cook it for me, but not if these people have it their way. My problem is, Dick, culinary appropriation.

Oh, okay. Or perhaps the pushing of the idea of culinary appropriation. This was a big topic this past week on Twitter. I think I know what you're talking about. I think you may have seen this story where a certain Rosalyn Toulousan, a journalist, which makes me so, I can't believe these two. Why do all the journalists suck? That's a problem for another time, but they're all insane.

Yeah. Vice journalist posts on her Twitter a verified account. She's got that verified check mark. Why did a white woman write a cookbook about dumplings and noodles? She has a picture of the cookbook in question called Dumplings and Noodles by Pippi Middlehurst. It is a cookbook, of course, how to cook various Asian foods, Asian dumplings, Asian noodles. It's by Ginger, too, not just a white woman. Oh, no, yeah.

Super white. I mean, I'll show this right now. You can see her picture she's a she's a red-haired uh british girl very happy very and this uh proud woman of color does not appreciate uh this white woman gingers are probably more there's probably less of them than that that's a very rare ethnicity they're dying out if anything we should let them cook whatever they want because they're not going to be on this earth that much longer uh again pippa metalhurst she's the winner of bbc britain's best home cook and uh here's here's to answer the question why why would this woman write about noodles and dough why would a white woman write about that well maybe because she attended the lanzau noodle school in china maybe she's got a little little something little something there uh roslyn who uh basically

was twitter's enemy for three days straight kept doubling down says uh she specifically says white people should not be making money off asian food okay they should not it's wrong it is only asian people can make money well yeah any specific asian all asians i mean they they have their own they each have their own hierarchy well they didn't provide the specifics i don't know if chinese people can cook japanese food i don't know if japanese people can cook vietnamese food we don't know all i know is white people you're not allowed to do it according to okay the laws of culinary appropriation. And this is not, here's the thing is you might think this is, oh, well, this is one crazy lady. This is not a widespread. This has been an ongoing problem. Yeah. I don't know if you ever saw this, but I think this was two or three years ago. There was

a two white women. Actually, one of them was a quarter Chinese, but let's just say two white women. Okay. They opened a burrito stand, like a pop-up, you know, like a little thing called Cook's Burritos. This was of course in Seattle, Portland. It was Portland, which is the best place to go if you want to get in a big fight about race. So these two women opened a breakfast burrito, basically like a, you know, what do you call it? A food cart or whatever, a food truck. And they did a little interview for the local news where they say, well, we went down to Mexico and we talked to all these grandmothers.

You know, we didn't speak great Spanish, but we wanted to know how to make these tortillas. And we learned how to stretch the dough. We actually ended up, you know, we were so excited. We were peeking in their kitchen windows and, you know, trying to, you know, write down what they were doing. Cause we just love it so much. Everyone went insane.

They said, so you basically admit that you are stealing tortilla recipes from these poor Mexican grandmothers. They demanded the woman send remunerations back to Mexico for the cultural theft of these tortilla recipes. Yes. How much? Whatever they made. All of it. Every single dollar, send it back.

After this review was published, Christian Goodman, co-founder of Feminist Workspace Broadspace. I have no idea what that is. It's called Broadspace. it's not the best yeah at least they're owning it well she circulated a list of white-owned appropriative restaurants naming over 60 restaurants serving ethnic cuisine but get this owned by a white person okay 60 restaurants. As she says, white business owners wield economic and cultural capital advantages

over people of color and are punching down by appropriating cuisines by people who are disadvantaged in comparison. Wait, sorry. Your problem is culinary appropriation?

Yeah. But that's what these crazy people have. Well, no. My problem is culinary gatekeepers. The promotion. Yeah. Culinary gatekeepers would be perhaps., my problem is culinary gate, the promotion. Yeah.

Culinary gatekeepers would be perhaps. What it comes down to is the idea that should your genetic history preclude you from cooking certain foods, from talking about certain foods, from writing about certain foods, from selling certain foods from writing about certain foods from selling certain foods their argument is Well, if we let white people sell our food, no one's gonna buy our food from us And I'm like and no one's stopping bitch. No one buys food from you On the internet right on pretend like you're making Dumples and dumplings noodles

Don't act like you're cooking up dogs and selling them. I wish that everything could have the race or identity of where it came from. And we had like a day of total segregation, we'll call it. Right, you're not allowed to use any products created by any other anybody. Yeah. Only Mormons can watch TV.

I think Philo T. Farnsworth, I think he was Mormon, who invented the television. Wow, we really got to lock down a list. Oh, yeah. Very strict, like the Amish. Right, right. They don't use anything,

or the Mennonites, they don't use anything invented after 1845 or something. Yeah. Like, blackish. Right, right. They don't use anything, or the Mennonites. They don't use anything invented after 1845 or something. Yeah. Like black people could eat, they could use like peanut-powered TVs, whatever. Yeah, I don't know. Chinese people.

I mean, we would not be allowed to wear clothes because all our clothes are made somewhere else. All the white people are going to be naked unless we- No, just invent it. Invent it, okay. Because everything's made in China. Right, yeah, then you're completely screwed. where all the white people are going to be naked unless we... No, just invent it. Invent it, okay. Because everything's made in China. Right, then you're completely screwed.

I don't know. Chinese people, if they have a headache, they got to eat a snake venom or something. Yeah, they're not allowed. They can't have Excedrin or any of that. If anyone's got a polio infection, you're screwed. That's for whitey. And women can't use anything.

Right. They just have to sleep in the... They can't even sleep on the street because asphalt was invented by a man. They have to sleep in a fucking ditch.

Right. And they can use... And they can sleep in the woods. They can put up a big sheet of complaining to protect them from the sun and the elements

because they've not invented anything. What do you think about that? I think that... I think that they have pure segregation. I think first of all, yeah. We have it on David Duke's birthday. We should make up a list of exactly. Maybe we pick like the top 10 things

that you're not allowed to have from each, you know? Oh yeah, okay. I think if you tried to do all of them, you're going to go a little nuts. But if you're like, all right, on this day, white people only get, you know, only the Mormons get TV. Yeah. white people get I don't know what's the best white thing no science cars invented that we're gonna split these

hair right so only the Greeks can have democracy. Right. Well, that's the craziest thing about this culinary appropriation idea is that, do you think Chinese people are the only people who ever made a noodle? A piece of dough that is stretched out and boiled in some water? Like, no. Dumpling is literally just dough wrapped around a thing. You ever heard of a pierogi?

Like, there's been dumplings across like that's why yeah like that's the weirdest thing is that most of this pushback is coming from people who are like first of all not chefs and like don't understand the history of food at all there was another guy who made like a chili oil for like you know cooking it's like a spicy chili oil for cooking you know chicken or whatever else yeah all these people were like well that's just that's chinese the chinese invented spicy oil and like every culture across time has realized like you can take oil and put in it like that's not an exclusively chinese thing uh so and again it just comes down to the melting isn't it fun when you mix and match and like, like pizza, like, you know, now you get all

kinds of crazy fucking pizzas and I'm an Italian guy. I don't get mad about it. Oh, you're an Italian. Yeah. Yeah. So you get a bunch of good stuff. You'd get to the radio, you'd get pizza. I get pizza.

Spaghetti. You'd get a- Well, people always argue about pizza. People go, oh, well they didn't really invent pizza. I get pizza. Spaghetti. You get mom hits. Well people always argue about pizza. People go, oh well they didn't really invent pizza. Well yeah, because again, flatbread has existed across like every culture. Tortillas. Tortillas, naan. The things that people are proud of about their cultures are really profoundly retarded.

Yes! Like their music and their food. Yeah. Like you guys are, you guys are proud of some dumb fuck invention. And also you didn't do anything about it and it's not like you if you were like you couldn't create it in a lab. You don't cook it yourself. If we put you in a clean room. Yeah. If we put you out in the out in China in the middle of a rice patty and said go ahead make this stuff. I want you to the white bitch could do it. And you can't.

Exactly. She would figure out how to cultivate the rice and make it into a, into a dough or whatever. She built this pad tie in a cave. You would be like, I should be in front of my, uh, my Apple iMac pro talking about how they don't respect the cultural origins of yoga. Yeah. All these white women in the yoga pants. Like just, just stop. Yeah. I don't know, man. Anyway, my problem is you have these, these culinary gay keepers,

which that doesn't work. If the white person can cook the food and it's tastier, like do it, what do you do then? That's what I'm wondering. What if you had like, but it's tastier to white people. Like when I first saw that one- No, but like what if you went to a Chinese person, you go, you give them like two different things. What if they say the white person's thing tastes better? Do you just go, well? Well, they're probably white then.

Yeah. The first thing I thought when I saw why would a white woman be writing a Chinese cookbook? I thought, well, cause it's for, cause white women are buying it. Right. That's why. They're gonna make white-

White people don't wanna buy it. Kind of tasting versions of shit. Yeah. White people don't like how it actually tastes right they like the american version of it yeah when you go to them you're like i you know here's how you idiot minced grasshopper paste inside of it yeah yeah i don't want to make that do you want mayonnaise yeah do you got one with like can you like ragu i can put in there do you have one mac and cheese yeah exactly uh and their other their other thing is that they're like well because if she gets the publishing deal to make a dumpling cookbook that means an asian person

isn't gonna get to make their own dumpling cookbook and i'm like that's too bad i also don't buy that if you're if you're a chef who like you know if an asian chef who like knows what he's talking about says i want to make a you know this cookbook is anyone really going to tell him nah the white lady already did it like isn't there room in the marketplace is the marketplace that small for cook there's cook there's millions of cookbooks for every type of culinary anything yeah uh absurdity nobody ever does this for beer no there's not like a bunch of you stole my... It's the opposite. Wine too. No, with that it seems like they want you to borrow their different techniques or whatever else.

Yeah. Okay. Well, that's a good... That's the way it should be. We should encourage sharing of ingredients and... You see what a disaster diversity is? though the only thing it can be it can only what's good about it we got the food now the food is the problem diversity is when we embrace like the cross-mixing of all the things you know why when you cuz then you get crazy fusion foods you get a sushi burrito and you're like oh man it's like sushi it all but it looks like a burrito like what is this all the food i swear to god it's all the food every single all right here's my next problem

millionaire socialists yeah i was gonna call this champagne socialist but i think this is better uh hassan do you know this guy hassan piker yeah i, I don't watch him. He's too handsome to watch. I don't want to watch a guy that handsome being that popular. He was a young Turk. Isn't that his older brother or his cousin is the main guy with the young Turks? Yeah. He bought a $3 million house in West Hollywood recently. And people are upset by this.

Right. Like a communist buying a three million dollar luxury I don't understand what's upsetting about this You don't think that Does a communist not deserve a nice place to live? No Oh, okay Is that

Is that difficult to understand Why people are upset Why a communist would buy the most flashiest house Oh, it's not the flashiest house it's a nice looking house in west hollywood this was this was in the furtherance of communism or socialism the idea that the idea not to live or spend to excess or aggregate capital that could be more efficiently spread to your comrades and your brothers and sisters to just keep it all to yourself right i don't know i mean seems i understand in the abstract why people are mad seems a little preposterously hypocritical to me and to defend it to defend it arrogantly

and sarcastically as oh what am i not supposed to buy a house? Seems a little bit like, oh, so you do get it. So you do. You're not like, well, you know, guys, I'd really like to have a dialogue. And if you take a look at my tax records, I mean, I know I was saying that Trump should have his, but if you just take a look at my tax records openly, you can see that I give almost all of my capital, which is the way to enforce your will and change in the system, to organizations that I think could best use it to lessen inequality and create equality. No.

Sarcasm. Oh, what am I not supposed to have a house? No, motherfucker. You're not supposed to have a $3 million house. By the way, I bet you have two or three times this in retirement funds and ETFs feeding into the fucking system that you're constantly bemoaning, that you're constantly LARPing as

an adversary for when you're just the primary beneficiary of it. You are the 1%. You are. I guess he would be in the 1% at that point. Where is the 1% cutoff? It's like $400,000 to $500,000 a year. If you're buying $300 million fucking houses in West Hollywood,

you're fucking firmly in the 1%. Matter of fact, you might be in the 0.9%. I'd wager you were in the 0.9%. I could get to the 0.8% pretty soon. Oh, am I not supposed to buy a house? You're just, I mean, I don't know. You're supposed to maybe at least feel guilty about it. At least not. You're supposed to at least say.

What if he uses it as a base for socialist activity? You know, maybe he needs that room. Is he? Maybe he needs that pool so he can really get his communist thoughts together. Well, now that would be something that I call an appropriate response. Yeah. You know, it just seems a little high, but actually I just have this to get broads over. Right. And then pump some communism into them. Right. Vaginally. Yeah, you know what it makes it just seems a little high but actually I just have this to get broads over right and then

Into them right vaginally. That's like read the cause a Millionaire it's a millionaire communist socialist whatever it's like it's like it's like Bill Cosby having Drugged and raped is like if Bill Cosby you found out Bill Cosby had drugged and raped someone Yeah, even though he can't really I can't imagine what that would be like Is like if Bill Cosby He found out Bill Cosby had drugged and raped someone Yeah I can't imagine what that would be like Such a betrayal That would be a betrayal of his Lance, what's his name? Lance Burton?

Lance Armstrong If he was doping That would be like against his whole thing Mark McGuire, he's doing roids Against his whole thing I can't possibly imagine It would be like if Grizzly Adams did have a beard. Did Grizzly Adams have a beard? It would be like if Dolly Parton

had faked his. Oh, Dolly. Now I see what's so appealing about Jolene, Dolly. I didn't before, but I do now. How much, I don't follow this guy. How much of a socialist is he like do we know he's not be any less than a hundred Percent socialists can be like I want some you know, we have socialist policies already He's he's got a you know, he's got to eat the rich shirt. Does he who's he talking about? Eating yeah, who is that ironic? Like if I'm wearing eat the rich shirt, I'm talking about my dick Yeah, right and women hot women Well, maybe he just maybe he's his definition of rich is higher than Jeff Bezos making a lot Oh, man, it's Jeff Bezos. It's all those be fair. Oh, he's up. There we go

You gotta tax Bezos a little bit right that Bernie bitch that one bouncing around okay boomer to dollar Something like that Monster well not anymore. she doesn't have the only fans anymore oh god I wish my wish I didn't have such incredible principles yeah that I could be happy about these whores losing there I'm honestly police that can we get a consent and an age verification for like- Every single- For like 10,000 totally irresponsible thoughts bringing random guys over to pipe them? No! That's the other thing is yeah-

There's no way we can do that! Half those guys, they can't even get those guys back to sign a thing. Hey, can I get you in here to just pipe- I'm only gonna see your dick for like 10 seconds. Can I get your photo ID and consent form? Yeah. And you know that the site's going to get hacked. You know that, so. If we want to make some money, we should come up with a way to easily,

what do you call it, falsify identification for these e-thoughts. Like, yeah, we can get fake IDs. Yeah, we can make fake IDs. Like the most illegal thing. Well, no, no, no. We don't actually have to make the IDs because they just need the credentials, right? Okay. ID. Yeah, we can make fake ID. The most illegal thing. Well, no, no, no. We don't actually have to make the IDs because they just need the credentials, right? Okay. They can't, you know.

Driver's license? Yeah, well, like a fake scam. Maybe the Taliban could help us with that. They're not going to look at it for more than two seconds. Taliban could probably help us. They got a lot of resources. What other social... But this is a narrow problem. I mean, it's not like most socialists are

living high on the hog. It'd be like finding out that Al Gore flies around in private jets. Yeah. Well, he doesn't. So we're fine. So we're fine. Al Gore is not a socialist. You're just saying it would be on the same level. It would be on the same level as that. Yeah. Cause that would be a betrayal of his green energy type things. A communist hoarding any capital above the mean is a massive betrayal.

Bernie only has three houses. That's reasonable, isn't it? Yeah, sure. Yeah, they're in Vermont. Sure. You get a little lakefront thing. Sure. God, I'd love some lakefront property in Vermont.

That's the thing i think the socialists pokey main once you get once you get a couple dollars in the bank you go well i do kind of want that stuff um but so how should a socialist live under under capitalism well karl marx was poor yeah because you know so should they just donate any excess money and live in poverty as a devotion to their yes yeah well you know that the irony is that the irony relative poverty that the biggest donors the biggest philanthropists are bezos and his wife who made all that money yeah i don't know how she made her money but she's extremely she's a genius i think um bill gates yeah all these people giving his wife's also a genius i don't know how she made her money, but she's extremely rich. She's a genius, I think. Bill Gates.

Yeah. All these people giving... His wife's also a genius. I don't know how she figured out how to get all that money. I don't know either. Former wife. I guess they broke up for some reason. Yeah, they did.

Whatever they're supposed to do, the first thing that they do is live like the most ostentatious bourgeoisie fuck yeah ever lived they should they should hide it at the very your staff more right there's a lot you could do to match the bullshit that you're preaching which is just a thinly veneered version of i hate people who have more stuff than me see that would be my argument is if they're making a lot of money, but they are reinvesting it in, you know, even if it's their own organization, like they're paying employees or whatever else.

Yeah. Yeah. House. If you're not using, I mean, I guess he's going to stream out of there, but other than that, it's a little much. I mean, if that's your whole identity is that the redistribution of wealth, I guess I, I guess I feel sympathetic. Cause I'm like, you do, but I only feel sympathetic.

Cause I'm like, I want in on this grift on the grift. I want in on the like, yeah, I'm all about socialism. And you're like, I kind of, I kind of want to get that big house. It's like, it's, it's a grift tearing down people who have money. Well, I would just, I just think these guys go too far with it, is they go, yeah, I'm like a hardcore, I want full redistribution of everything and no one's allowed to make more than $50,000. I think these guys just gotta be like, listen, man, capitalism has got a lot of good elements

to it. I would just like more- Yeah, I'm the primary beneficiary of them. And if they just said, I just want more public assistance, cheaper healthcare, no one's got a problem with... At least those ideas are less controversial, but these guys go balls to the wall. We should all live in a little cube and... Eat the rich. Eat the rich, yeah. Okay. You're the rich now. Right. Well, that's the problem is you went too

zany with it now everybody loves you and now that you're at the top you're like ah shit it's pretty great up here i don't know what to do from here uh and then you know it'll notice if i just buy shit the answer to that is sarcasm right oh what was i supposed to do you wanted to have an answer say i'm sorry right say i'm sorry for saying all this shit about capitalism It's not the capitalism that's the problem Yeah It's something else My views have evolved

I think that people who work hard should have certain rewards But I'm still dedicated to, you know, various socialist aspects of empowering the people beneath Yeah, sure Yeah No one's gonna buy that though I got some stats for you you know, various socialist aspects of empowering the people beneath. Yeah, sure. Yeah. No one's going to buy that, though. I got some stats for you. There's $430 trillion in the world.

So if you split that up amongst everybody, you'd have 50. Did you know this? You'd have 57,000. Everybody would have 50,000, like $57,000. In the bank? Yeah. Did you know that? I didn't know that, no.

I thought it would be less. Didn't know that either. In the bank? Yeah. Did you know that? I didn't know that, no. I thought it would be less. Didn't know that either. That's a good target. So America specifically has $100 trillion of wealth. If that amount got split up evenly to everybody in America, that would be $340,000. It's so complicated, though, because $57,000 here is like, yeah, but all our prices are jacked up on stuff to go along with that. Or you go to like another con, no, I'm saying like I was looking at like the cost of living in like, I think it was Vietnam or Thailand or something.

Somewhere you could get access to. Well, it's like a can of Coke is like 10 cents. So you could say, oh, you're paying those guys nothing. It's like, yeah, but they don't need as much, you know, we pay an absurd amount of money for soda water which honestly costs nothing to make so hey all i'm saying is if um capitalism is such a bad guy all i'm saying is there's there's uh better ways to uh further your communist slash socialist agenda than your own private pussy pad in West Hollywood or penis pad that is West Hollywood. I don't know what you're doing over there.

Hassan. Maybe it energizes him to fight harder for the cause, you know? Well, that's called capitalism. Well, yeah. So, all right.

It's a nice looking place he's got. I'm just jealous. The sarcasm is what kills me. I'm just like, if I'm nice to him, maybe he'll let me come over and swim in his pool.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Can you have diarrhea in his pool, please if you go over there? Yeah, sure I'm gonna be like hey all my homeless friends want to come over and swim. Is that cool? Yeah, like you're a socialist so you should want I mean these are literally the bottom of the yeah They want to come in we're all gonna get drunk by the pool. They'll have schizophrenia and just you're covered in shit Yeah, but you know capitalism lift them up you got three million you got more than three million okay he didn't buy it with cash though we don't know how much money he has well he would be an idiot to buy it with cash yeah but i would just like to see the tax returns yeah that's all i'm saying he might not be where's the rest of your money yeah he shouldn't show the the text is it an rs exactly how much is

contributing to this um this monster of capitalism that you hate so much uh uh just wondering karl marx was poor and he loved it he loved it he ain't good though he ain't good um i don't know what do we call that prom, Dick? Millionaire Socialist. Millionaire Socialist. Voted up at biggest prom that show. Dick, I was on the internet recently. As I sometimes am. Sometimes, I don't know.

I end up on that computer. And I was on Twitter. I'm on there all the time. I saw it. It's impossible to stay away from it now that everyone's locked down. Yeah. Everything's so fucked. So much of your interactions with people are on there.

Well, that's the thing is I keep being like, I wish I could get off of this social media. And then I'm like, but I literally cannot interact with human beings in any other way. Yeah. It's insane. Which is how I stumble across such great, great little tidbits from the world and learn so much about the culture

around me. And I have a link here. This is a video that, I don't know, I watched this and it brought something to my mind that I thought I've had quite a bit. Why don't you start that from the beginning? This is from a Twitter account called Libs of TikTok. I'm not sure. Libs of TikTok. Libs of TikTok.

Oh, shit. It's not letting me Bring it up on this Well you can hear the Audio probe Oh is that enough? Alright let's hear the audio Yeah it'll be fine Well

I do kind of want people To see this lady Okay I just drew it up I don't know It's not showing up Just go to What do you call

Window capture Yeah Just to right click on it And then choose Instead of text input application choose a different window choose a what is this Chrome no turn it back on they does it sometimes her appearance is like she looks like a... Describe it. She looks like a...

She's a young girl. She has... Let me... Should I bring it up on my phone? I could show it on my phone. Hold on. I don't know if that's going to help. No, but I can hold it up to the camera.

I want people to see this real quick. She's very white. She's a very, very... I want to say this girl, she to be maybe uh like 14 or something she's definitely a young girl and she has something she wants to tell you guys about uh what the kids care about these days all right hold on i just want to show her real quick okay uh oh my god all right just hold just hold that up to the camera real quick Just so people know

See, she's got like shit on her face Like a black nose Or some shit She kind of looks like she dressed up like a cat She's got like stars drawn on her face They're like X's You remember when you were like a kid We'll get into that

She's got the spiked collar, of course She's wearing all black Her hair's all fucked up We'll get into all of that uh but why don't you play what she's gonna say for us okay here you go hello i'm blue trans education and i care to talk about emoji pronouns emoji pronouns is when somebody uses one or more emojis as a pronoun these are meant for strictly online use as you can can probably imagine. With the increasingly online world, this makes perfect sense. Hello, I'm Blue Trans Institution, and I'm here to talk about emoji pronouns. So this girl is here to educate us about emoji pronouns. Pronouns?

The fuck is that? That's when you use an emoji to represent your pronoun, like an alien face or a smiley face or... To like be him? Yeah. And a memer? It's to stand in for your the point is this has nothing people think we're going down a tangent here's the real thing all these kids right now they want to be special they're so special they want emojis of pro as pronouns

they they keep coming up with new genders every day they won't stop okay because they need to feel special and different yeah and i understand that you're a teenager and that's always been a thing that teenagers want but i look at this girl yeah okay i look at her little the black shit on her face and the spike collar and the black and i go goths yeah what happened to the goths oh That was the best thing we had. We did not know how good we had it. Dick, my problem is goth erasure. Okay.

Here's the thing. Goth culture was latched onto by these- Wait, you're a goth? No, no, no, no. You were a goth? I wanted to be. I always wished I had gotten into it. What do you mean?

I always saw the goth kids and i went you know what i wish i could be like that i wish i could be like those guys they've got a little community they believe in something like deuce bigelow that's anton you could be that guy humping the here's the thing we knew okay but we knew the goths were weird right but they were weird in a way that was almost like contained and respectable it's like okay you guys like i agree yeah okay you saw the gosh you're like okay you guys like stupid music and dressing up like idiots and whatever it's a big commitment what you're doing right but you don't bother nobody okay you don't you don't create no problems uh you're not going

out here telling me about your emoji pronouns or the new genders you can't like the goths were the perfect little containment center. Yeah. These weird artistic, frankly, nerds and doofuses. Yeah. And it almost it was respectable. I respected it. Okay. Okay.

When these kids, you know, are listening to their Marilyn Manson records or wearing their nightmare before Christmas t-shirts or whatever, you're like, well, at least there's a defined style. Like there's a through line that I can follow. It's not just here's the new rainbow every week. My gender keeps changing. Now I'm a cat gender emoji. I was going through the list of genders there's two

there's hundreds they just said i can invent them cons pronouns they could just invent them out of nowhere there was enough about goth culture that it was that you could explore it that it was self-contained yeah because it was actually like human like no god ever came to me and said if you don't refer to me as vampire queen metastasis like you're a bigot like we never had that conversation no goth ever called me a bigot right i get it they just were like yeah we just i don't know just leave us alone we're gonna you know hang out and listen to fallout boy i was also gonna say we're gonna talk about hp love it evolved into the emo scene which i still respect i actually like my chemical romance i don't know if you're ever a fan of those guys had some great music okay and i respected it was a subculture for these weird moody kids to go look at me i'm a sensitive artist i'm sad

sometimes and they took that sadness and they channeled into drawing you know dark stupid tim burton art in their notebook yeah instead of going online and inventing genders I wish we had that we did that's the thing is at the time we went wow those goths what a bunch of nerds I can't believe let's bully them no no no no no no we had some hot chicks though all right yeah there would be some hot chick with huge tits and the guy that's why when I say I wanted to be a goth, it's because I was looking at that one red haired chick with the lazy eye. With the red haired chick.

Yeah. She didn't have a lazy eye though. Well, this one had a lazy eye and it was fucking, you're like, that's cool. Cause it's like a little weird, man. You know? What? It's my weird red haired, lazy eye girlfriend.

You know, we're going to fucking steal a bottle of wine and go to the cemetery. Yeah, go to the graveyard. Exactly. talk about our feelings and only the bad ones though yeah so this is dark depressing whatever why did you hold why didn't you become a goth i just i never found the time for it that's a pretty serious commitment it is a commitment you got to do the whole the fat first of all i was always a fat kid and nobody likes a fat goth

Let's be real. I thought I mean I thought that was no no no The which you want for the you want the leg off guys have like a funny guy. Is there no? That's the other thing you can't be like a goofy goth. I mean Kai like Yeah, the goth humor is its whole thing is like the guy who shows up at the laser rave and he's like Yeah, look, you know, I made a I made a whole thing. Do they do they find things funny? Yeah, but it's like, you know, it's like a whole different I mean, they have the same stuff as whatever else.

I knew some of the goth kids. You know, they're they're cool guys or whatever. Sure. They're just they're a little weird, a little probably a lot. Yeah. The most weird you can be. They were the original the original autistic kids probably autistic. You're the most weird you can be. They were the original autistic kids, a lot of them. Okay.

The point is that these kids want a subculture, these weird kids, right? Oh, and they're being swallowed up. They're being swallowed up by insanity, perpetuated by probably a bunch of adults who feel like, oh, if we get these kids on board, we can do basically anything. Now they're on here again. This girl has an entire TikTok channel where she lectures you about pronoun usage. I think that the goth existence was not predicated on your accepting of it.

In fact, I think it was the opposite. A counterculture. Yeah. They did not want to be accepted. No. They wanted you to be shocked and confused. Right.

They wanted to be... That was the other thing is that it's true. Their subversiveness was they recognized that they were subversive. Yeah. I don't think the goths were like,

this is going to be the mainstream and everyone needs to listen to Marilyn Manson records. They were like, nah, this is our music. Fuck you. Whereas this generation is like, no, our weird insanity needs to listen to Marilyn Manson records. They were like, nah, this is our music. Fuck you. Whereas this generation is like, no, our weird insanity needs to be in your language.

Trans pronouns. Yeah. Except the secretary of health is trans, so it's not really counterculture. No, not at all. They're in this weird situation where they're like, we're the ultimate counterculture. And to prove that,

we're going to get every corporation on earth to embrace us and wave our flag. You're like, I don't think you get that those two things don't go together. You're not counterculture. And if you want to be counterculture, just get off this weird gender kick. Why genders is the thing that these kids are obsessed with? Why don't you get obsessed with music or like films or some aspect of culture that isn't just randomly, I mean, I was trying to go through like the rest.

They're like, yeah, you can just, you know, you can have a neo pronouns. They can be like, you know, rot, like I'm rot self. Or I'm like, what are you talking? Why rot? You know, my pronouns are rot, rot self self i was like trying to wrap my head around it yeah and i was like wait where are you talking about getting this from this chicks tick tock this weird girl man if you is this bigger than just this weird girl where do you

want me to go uh if you go to god if you go to tick tock dot com slash tag slash. Oh God. Neo pronouns. Maybe. Neo pronouns. I think that's how you find the tag. Neo pronouns. That's what they're talking about. Yeah. 192 million views across all these videos.

And it's literally, I don't even know how to, I was trying to wrap my head around it. I just kept watching this and going, can't you guys figure out something else? Isn't there anything else you want to talk about? Well, no, because it's been exploited. Like, what are they going to do?

Wear more weird... They're going to keep making new... Their dads were goth. Yeah. Their dads are my age. So they have to rebel against it. So what is left to go this full insanity route

and just my pronouns are rot self yeah it's like so I watched some person go like I'm bunny slash bunny self it's bunny pronouns this was like a grown man like lecturing to children like yeah your pronouns can be whatever the fuck you want I'm like how about just don't do that

how about just him her I'm at this point I'm almost ready to accept ZZim I'm like just okay as long as you stop You have to stop I'll tell you the future The future is going to be generation after generation Of

Significantly augmented people That live in virtual reality forever And our only experience our only choice in life and it will be it will not be real yeah is to decide whether our gender is a one or a zero and that will be our only form of expression and everything else will be an infinity of an experience as defined by either that one or that zero and we will and we will and we will

Process it instantly. Yeah, and that will be it and then you die and then you die and your offspring will decide No, maybe they'll have a cubit at that point. The point is I don't want this to turn I don't want this to be it's not a gender problem. mean, it's part of it. It's just these young people, these young impressionable people. They gotta get their pronouns off my lawn. Is that what you're saying? They are seeking to be a part of something. Oh. And my argument

is that if we could bring back the goths, the emos, put it back in the spotlight have a my chemical romance reunion tour and uh I don't know rot. Yeah, is that your pronouns? Yeah, dead dead self like you can have any pronoun you want these kids need something And if the goths had not gone away if they had not faded into the background I think we would have a much saner world right now. Why did the goths had not gone away if they had not faded into the background i think we would have a much saner world right now why did the gods fade away it just it fell out of favor it wasn't

it wasn't the crow radical anymore radical anymore the crow you think i think after corpse bride failed in 2005 oh that was their tipping point right that was when burton finally fell out of vogue it's like yeah itpse Bride's not that good Everybody started making fun of Burton Burton is like the Jesus Christ of God He was kind of the king And then he had his fall off So it's going to be another 1800 years

I think we got to go to Burton We got to go look motherfucker You're the only one who can save this fucking thing We need Edward Scissorhands to return Return of the blade We need an entire Night before christmas cinematic universe because we need to bring back the goths all right we'll get marilyn manson out of off these rape charges none of that no he's coming back he's taking out all his ribs all the ribs all the ribs sucking

his dick a million times fold it in half we bring like a doctor's satchel on stage and open it up and pull him out unfold him pop his dick right out imagine if I was on twitter

and I didn't have to see the teenagers yelling at me cause I don't know all their pronouns they're just like being goths man um

yeah I think maybe uh is it too cool to be cynical now? Because Goths are like, that was their deal. And now, it's hard to be too, I think it's impossible to be too cynical right now. Part of it is losing the culture of bullying. Goths probably thrived on the idea of actually being outcasts.

Yeah, everybody does. These kids are not outcasts because we don't have bullies anymore. So they have to invent. No, we does. These kids are not outcasts because we don't have bullies anymore. So they have to invent. No, we do. I'll tell you what happened. Well, they're the bullies,

but yeah. I'll tell you what happened. We switched from the goth kids now all these Christ F slur. Everybody who's very, the trad people. The trad ones.

They all dress the same. Yeah. They all say the same exact things just like goths. They all go way out of their way to talk about like to take these radical positions that are all like trad consistent yeah right i think and they get bullied non-stop is that happening in the schools is that is that young people or it's on the internet yeah must happen in school i guess it's probably i think there is

going to be a way of a young nick fuentes is like like 22 years old. Yeah, he is a young guy. He's a kid. So kids are going to see, 16 year olds are going to see him. 12 year olds are going to see him and go like, yeah, me too. I think at this point, the kids were.

I don't masturbate either. Yeah, it's going to be a bunch of kids wearing suits and ties to high school. And it's going to be seen as the most. Yeah, it's going to be seen as the most subversive. Like people are going to hate them. They're going to pick their own names. They're going to be like, I just don't want to wear

a rainbow flag button today. It's going to rip them apart. They're going to despise them. Yeah. Conservatism is the new counterculture. Goth erasure. I hate when people say that. It gives conservatives too much credit. Trump was counterculture

because he's funny. Trump was credit no trump was counterculture because he's funny trump was definitely a type of counterculture there could be multiple stripes of counterculture that's another thing i only like that one though i only like that one okay it might come back so whatever god do you think he's gonna run in 2024 i think he's gonna run i don't know if he'll be the actual candidate though i think the the mainstream Republican apparatus, they're at a weird crossroads. They don't know what to do with it. We'll see about that. Do you think the Republicans want him to run?

No. But I think they're coming back around on him. I think they see it as inevitable. I think they're like, we have nothing but the Trump guy. Like, Trump energized. I don't know. They can't do their bullshit with him Like he's the reason we're out of her. We're out of Afghanistan. Yeah only

They try to fuck it. They try to fuck it up. So we have to go back in well, I guess Trump wants us out Okay, Trump negotiated a deal where we're like getting out correctly like we're bringing out citizens and then helpers and then the military last. Let's just, let's do it in reverse. So we leave all of our people there and then have to go back in. We did leave too many people over there. What a surprise.

I guess my question is how many Republicans right now are like Trump or bust? Like if there's a different Republican candidate, they'll go, well, I'm just not voting them. Because that's what it comes down to. Getting people out there.

I think Trump made such a contingent of Republicans and conservatives. They're basically like, he's the only guy. Oh, that's me. And if he's not going to run, I'm just not voting. Yeah. No, never. I'll vote against the other guy. Just out of spite.

Right. Well, that's the thing is I think the Republicans might be looking at him. I vote for Kamala. He's literally the only guy we can run. Yeah. Because if we run anyone else, people just won't vote yeah oh man that's gonna feel so good to put that hat on again yeah well don't forget that all the voting is rigged so just don't vote in general just let us uh democrats take it home i'm an independent i hate all i hate all the science oh now you do okay now i've hated So we've got, our problems are payment processors.

What was yours? Payment processors, culinary gatekeepers. Culinary gatekeepers. Millionaire socialists. And... Goth erasure. Goth erasure. Okay, everybody.

Go to biggestproblem.show to vote the problems up. And go to patreon.com slash biggest problem to support the show. Thank you very much. We're gonna do voicemails now. Nice. Okay, this is... Dick and Vito, it's me, Gator. You know what I have a big fucking problem with?

All right. Social media companies like Twitter letting schmucks pretend to be gay and offended so they can get your shit banned. 7,000 followers down the drain. God, what a shitty company. Jax should be sent on the first flight to Afghanistan tomorrow.

Anyway, twitter.com slash gator time. Follow me there. And make sure not to say anything offensive, because the big bad trolls, you know the big bad and the tough guys that pump themselves up every time you block them, they get really upset when you imply that they are homosexual so definitely don't call them that all the time ciao all right wait who got gator banned who knows all right well life yeah i don't know i guess i'll have to look at that well gator uh whoops i'm sorry gator time twitter.com anytime

there you go organization the amount of never showing up on time for a fucking meeting. I started that late. Hello, everyone. Hi. How are you guys doing today? I like that you addressed me and Vito, not the audience. HR. Human resources.

Especially the people that work in human resources. It's a little back story. I sell HR, I sell basically a software that's supposed to make your life easier with HR or whatever. But dude, it's unbelievable. I bet it's amazing. The amount of unorganization,

the amount of never showing up on time for a fucking meeting, the amount of times where people will just not get in contact with me and just fuck my day over and ruin my whole weekend or week or whatever it's just insane like it like it is it just boggles my mind how they are such a quote unquote necessity in the workplace and i guess what makes it worse too is they're so rude they're

so fucking rude hr and they just act like their shit doesn't stink or whatever. HR really is just one of the worst things I think corporate America has ever made. Honestly, I guarantee you most companies in the world would have performed better without a human resource department. Bye. Yeah. Because they're supposed to... It seems like they're all...

It's a containment unit. Yeah. Oh. So we believe the same thing and describe it consistently with our individual viewpoints would you like to expound upon what you mean by h or being evil yeah it seems like they exist to inflict misery yes yeah and it brings them joy yeah i think they take that job because they they know that they people want power people want to be uh in control of other people's lives oh you think hr takes that position because they want power yeah i think hr take i think they get appointed because they can navigate.

Like they're tard wranglers. But for people who are unhirable, because they're just walking emotional crises and they get hired, like most, 90% of people- Are psychopaths. Yeah, should be fired. Right. Like they're just, four out of five people at any workplace in America are psychopaths. Yeah, should be fired. Right. Like, they're just worth, four out of five people

at any workplace in America are totally worthless. It is very confusing to me how any workplace functions based on the people I meet every day. I'm like, what do you do?

And they're like, oh, I'm a nuclear physicist. I'm like, all right, well, good. Well,

you're kind of a huge pain in the ass. Yeah. So, yeah, they're like a containment specialist for people's parental issues. Yeah.

That just constantly, for some reason, constantly manifest at work. They're kind of like the vice principal of your organization. Because we indoctrinate children into these schools and teach them to enact all of their bizarre and teach them to derive all their emotional fantasies with their coworkers

or other kids and then just release them into the workforce and go, here, we've dysfunctioned all these kids by putting them in a work environment and having absolutely no structure and i don't know i don't know how any corporation functions like i hear

about this this whole activision and women aren't getting what they deserve whatever else and i'm like oh that's true yeah i'm like well yeah because it's a corporation. It's not going to function well. What do you mean? What? When they're like, well, one guy at Activision hit on a female co-worker and tried to get her to give him a blowjob. And I'm like, yeah, isn't there like 20,000 people in that company? That doesn't mean that the company did it. It's an intricate machine with a million different parts. and then they're like this is like the payment process

you're thinking like how are you gonna stop what do you mean there's guys asking for blowjobs all the fucking time what are you guys talking about that's all we do right well that's the thing is then i see the news i mean i'm going off on a tangent but they're like oh you know one of the they would joke about rape and i'm like okay why is that bad so they had fun at work is that against though is that against the rules and it is against the rules what was the joke i don't know it's probably like get raped and they'll you know you laugh it might it might not have been i don't know exactly what it was but you can't tell me you know because there's rape jokes occasionally i'm like yeah if you hang out if you put a bunch of guys in a room on a long enough timeline, someone's going to make a rape joke.

It's going to happen. Yeah, true. And it doesn't mean you have an intimate culture of toxicity or whatever the fuck they say. Okay, here you go. No, Dick, it's too bad there's not a vaccine to immunize me from listening to Vito complaining. That'd be another great shot for me to not take twice. Wait, if it's a thing for you to not take, that means you enjoy listening to me complain? I guess. I don't know. Alright. Here's one. I had to do a little editing on this one.

Oh, is it my favorite song? Yeah. Yes. Here you go. Hey Vito hey how's it going hey i i was just remembering earlier i was listening to these earlier yeah an 80s girl goes why does everyone who calls into your show sound so drunk and i said well this was sent at uh two in the morning on saturday so he probably was so So they all are. Yeah. Here you go. Hey, how's it

going? I was just remembering earlier in the season when you said that your favorite song is can a table dance

bleeps. How do you believe that to be artistically clear that the verbiage should be may get a table dance did you know that can you get a table dance dad can i have a table dance? I don't know. Can you?

Oh, thanks. I like that he's laughing at his shitty joke. This drunk, laying in bed, rolling around in like macaroni and cheese. Smearing sauce all over himself. Thanks for your call. Really helpful. I thought you should know that this song you like,

doesn't this, this song by a gentleman who probably does not use, it's street language regardless. Who was it? Who sang that song? Maestro. Maestro? Do you think he thought, like, ah, I should take a look at the verbiage here. May a ninja get a table, they're like, I think it, guys, come on, let's do,

let's uplift our community. Yeah. We're always encouraging a table dance. Like I think it, guys, come on, let's do, let's uplift our community. Yeah. We're always encouraging like all this degenerate behavior. More grammar, right. Self-destructive, you know? What, come on, what are we about? It's may. May a ninja.

May a ninja get a table dance. May a buddy get a table dance, right? Shake it up, shake it up, yeah. And then he put his foot down. I just do it like no no I'm not gonna do they're something about like you know what teacher there's probably some white producer back there no no you do it in that street voice that I pay you for I want to uplift my community sir it's my

this it's May that is the correct no You do it like I taught you, boy! That's not how you talk! That's not how you and your people talk! It's can! It's can! And he's thinking about his dad. My dad is trying to elevate, yeah. Saying, don't talk like that, boy!

Right? Yeah. I didn't work so hard! You can talk like a- Like a fancy boy! No, his dad would be the opposite. His dad would be a smooth talker. Yeah, his dad would say like, don't you talk like it's May. How dare you not use.

Yeah, he's like a weatherman. When I named you maestro, I thought you would be a maestro. Exactly. Of the spoken word, my child. Ask not can a table dance be for you, but may you obtain the dance of the table all right last one hey dick and vito hi the biggest problem in the universe is vacation busybodies oh i'm on vacation just chilling by the pool and i've got all these people telling me I need to go to the city I need to go to the beach I need to do all this kind of stuff yeah I am on vacation here I don't want to

do anything I totally agree I want to just sit by the beach for seven days or the pool and drink I don't need to do anything I don't need to see the city I don't want to move I want to stay in bed as long as I want I'm on vacation there's a mountain there vacation busybody you always want you to do stuff the biggest problem universe this is why I never go I don't know did I bring it up on the show that I've never been to like Disneyland or any of that stuff you've never been to Disneyland I've never been to Disneyland you've never never been hooked into it by some fucking broad? No, no.

How really? I've been with a girl to Disney, what is it, town outside of Disney? It's called Disney Town, yeah. It's not called Disney Town. Downtown Disney. Downtown Disney. Just called Disney Town. Downtown Disney, yeah.

So you've been there to drink. I've been there to drink, yeah. But for me, stuff like that, I get even like, I mean, that's technically a vacation. I'm like, I don't want to run for, you know, between different rides

and, you know, you only got so many hours to figure it out. Kind of mosey around. I get vacation anxiety. Like I get it. You know, you're like, oh, I got to go to this thing

because I'm only here for once in my life or whatever else and never going to come out here again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My dad is the king of what this guy is talking about. Oh, you got to do a thing.

You got to do a thing. Yeah. And he looked it up on TripAdvisor. Yeah. Like before. Wherever you're going. Let me punch that in. You know what you should do.

It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is how bad my dad is at it. He will, if I'm going to Vegas. Yeah. And I've lived here. We've both me and my dad have lived in Southern California for the same amount of time If I'm going to Las Vegas is a you know, you got to check out the Red Rocks. I'm like, uh, buddy. Yeah. That's like, I mean, that's like a whole thing outside of, what about everything you know about me makes you think

I'm gonna go, number one, walk anywhere. Yeah. Number two, drive a place to walk that I have not done in the 50 times that I've been to Vegas more than you. Right. At this point. You should be giving the advice to go Go to this knife shop that my friend of my friend owns

Fucking meteorite knife a PVK Vegas PVK Vegas Putting in my plug and then it goes. Oh, I'm going to wherever I got a layover in Chicago. Oh, you might want to check out, like, what are you talking about? In Chicago, you might want to check out a- Wrigley Field. Wrigley Field.

Yeah. Get a deep dish pie. Get an Italian beef sandwich. You know what you got to get when you're there? A deep dish pizza. Deep dish pizza. Everybody knows that. Oh, really?

Is that a thing I should do while I'm in Chicago? Can I? Yeah. You know what you should do while you're in New York is check out a Yankees game. You heard of those guys? You heard of those guys? Got it. Yeah.

Got it. Fucking thank you. Here's the thing you might not have heard of. The Empire State Building. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Not again. Another spilled drink. It's fine.

Do you want to tip it? Yeah, let's tip it. Oh, my God. All right. All right. Goodbye's fine. You want to tip it? Yeah, let's tip it. Oh, my God. All right. All right. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Biggestproblem.show.

Vote him. I'll be in Vegas Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. So if you're in Vegas and you see Vito come up and kick his ass, is that what you're saying? No, I think there might be a thing. I don't know. Check out on Twitter if you want. We might do like a meetup or something. All right.

Goodbye, everybody. Bye.