The Biggest Problem in the Universe - Episode 92
Episode Date: June 3, 2023People Who Pretend To Not Understand Jokes, Snail-in Voting, Tardy Drink Refills, The Sudden Necessity of Pride Month, Semaglutide / Ozempic...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
But look, this is what I did. I hit that. I meant to hit...
Okay.
See, I meant to hit that, but it just changed the whole thing.
Well, just...
You ready?
Yeah, do it.
Wasn't that a nice fade?
I don't know. I can't hear. I'll have to watch it later. It wasn't good.
Leave me here. You should have been looking at it.
Well, yeah, it looks nice.
You looked away right when I... After all that fucking shit of transitioning, you looked away right when I clicked the button.
Does the audio crossfade? That's what I really want to know. You looked away right when I After all that fucking shit of transitioning You looked away right when I clicked the button
Does the audio crossfade?
That's what I really want to know
Crossfade?
Yeah, crossfade
What?
One fades out and the other one fades in
Crossfade?
That's a term
That's an editing term
I'm pretty sure you know this
Before the show starts
You better watch it, Vito
Yeah
I'm in a lot of trouble I'llito Yeah I'm in a lot of trouble
I'll criticize you
I'm in a lot of trouble
Because of you
And then you'll have a meltdown
I probably will
I have now
An entire comic book fan base
Which already
Which I
Which I said
You know what
I'm not gonna fight with these guys
You liar
You've been fighting with them
For a year
Yeah but like little things
Like I wasn't gonna make it A big thing I wasn't going to make it a big thing
I didn't make it a big thing
I just gave a normal review for a comic book
A normal
Intelligent review of
Normal notes
Normal Hollywood notes
Maybe I should have let you know that this was the obvious end result
When you're reviewing the comic of a man
Who apparently by his own metrics,
has created the perfect
comic book. He called himself the
Michael Jordan of comics. Did he really?
He said this would be, he, during Eric
July's three hour cry fest of my
totally normal, like,
plot structure notes,
he said this is like somebody
telling Michael Jordan how to play
basketball. And I said said are you fucking kidding me
Bro you're not even Scotty Pippen
You're not even
Marty Pippen dude
What are you talking about Michael Jordan of comics
As someone has brought up
Michael Jordan also played basketball
He didn't just make money selling shoes
He actually played basketball too
You jackass Eric
Why do I feel like this feud
Is going to go on for way longer
Than I thought it would
Originally
I just gave some simple notes
Well apparently you've incited an entire fan base
To hate us and hate this show
They've been clipping our show
To report on all the horrible
And mean things that we say
Woohoo
Yahoo Woohoo To report on all the horrible and mean things that we say. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Yahoo!
Yahoo!
Woo-hoo!
Well.
And every day I gotta wake up to like 50 of these Eric Chalain guys telling me I'm the worst fucking person that ever existed.
Yeah, yeah.
And that my comic's gonna fail and that I should kill myself.
So that's been, thank you everyone for all your
I'm so glad Dick reviewing
I didn't even review it.
I had nothing
to do with it. I didn't tell you to review it. I didn't even tell you
to fucking read it. You found it
yourself. Nina Infinity did.
Nina Infinity put you on the spot.
Nina Infinity insolently challenged me
She thought you wouldn't do it.
She spoke to me very disrespectfully.
And Eric July and Aizam both know that I don't take no disrespect from no one.
No woman.
I don't.
I pity the fool.
You're a real Avery when it comes down to it.
Don't take no disrespect.
I'm beavery.
I'm severy.
I'm everyvery in the book.
I don't take no disrespect. No one beavery, I'm severy, I'm everyvery in the book. I don't take no disrespect.
No one no disrespect me.
I think you had some very reasonable
we share a lot of the same criticisms.
There's no plot in his book. There's no plot in his
comic. There's no plot. There's no character
development. He didn't make any fucking choices.
And then in the book,
the main character says,
I'm not a good detective. I don't know
why I'm doing this shit. I'm not a detective.
I shouldn't be doing this.
So he wrote a detective book, but he didn't put any of the plot, character development,
character arcs, challenging the characters.
A detective book is tightly crafted.
Oh, yeah.
Where there's clues and shit.
He didn't do any of that.
Then he goes, where anybody see it, a detective book.
Well, the guy says.
The guy literally admits.
That's right, Andre.
He called me the N-word three times and told me to pull up on him right
well that's just uh his way of speaking i suppose he called you the n-word with a hard r
speech impediment doesn't make it a different word okay so you get the colloquial n-word not
to me it's not uh you guys You guys may use your word your way
We use it a different way
Okay, they don't
You don't get to use yours
You don't get to use
Anyway
It's been a fun week
It's been a wild
I thought
I honestly thought that he would be like
Okay, those guys made a stupid review
He might say like one thing
Like yeah, fuck those crackheads or whatever
But literally for like five days straight He's been going into our replies and guys who like follow
us everybody yeah guys who have like 10 followers he's going well clearly you don't understand
avery's i shouldn't use the voice i don't know why you would do that he's going clearly you don't
understand this shit and this right no it Wow, it looks like all flat and horrible.
And he gets really hung up on these.
Yeah, again, when you go, I think it's a-
Dude, you have $3 million.
Fuck off.
Yeah.
Like, you don't have to write any of the rest.
You just hire writers.
Please.
Well, I guess a lot of his success has been based on the idea That oh he owns The libs
And he owns the haters
Or whatever else
I'm like yeah
But these are just a bunch of guys
Who think your comic sucks
Like they're not
Well the libs are better writers
Than you so
Most of the many of them
People in Hollywood
Know how to take notes
I mean they may be pedophiles
But they may be
Satanic pedophiles
They may be pedophiles
But they understand
A three act structure
Okay
And that's what
Really matters
Let's do it I feel feel bad until I hear him talking about me, and I'm like, fuck you!
Biggest problem in the universe!
Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe! The only show that ranks every problem in
the universe from having no understanding of the price of an S to choosing any one of a thousand ways to make your comic
books suck less.
I'm your host, Dick Masterson.
Joining me as always is Vito Giswoldi.
Hi.
Long riddle.
That was from Jazz Blister.
Thank you, Jazz Blister.
Long, long riddle.
That's what I want.
Exciting, complicated rhymes
That tickle the tongue
That's the kind of writing we like
Here on the show
Oh man, I don't even know
This doesn't even translate to a podcast
We can do a whole show just on the last week
The biggest problem with last week
Yeah, the biggest problem with Eric
Obsessively tweeting to every single person
That follows us
I have never seen someone
Take criticism this badly
Not even like
That scene where
Hitler's freaking out
Shit shit shit shit
Right
I mean the smart thing to do
Would have been to go
Well he has some criticisms
And maybe there's some
Fair ones in there
He clearly had more experience
Than me
I mean obviously
Like his notes are structured
Like he's gotten them a lot
The honest thing to say
Is to go well
I feel proud
of it as my first try people are excited about the character and i'm looking forward to uh what
we do next i think i think you can only get better from here but the only because i'm the worst
meanest person on earth he's really i because i am i am mean and my heart is small yeah you can't
even see it was above it yeah yes that guy's fucking mean and
i tried my best is just needling this hard-working black man but but i know what i'm talking about
well i hate to say it but uh certain other comic professionals have come to me in private and went
i thought dick's critique was fair. I don't think he was.
I gave you notes.
I mean, it is a comedy podcast.
We're going to dunk on the guy a little bit because it's funny.
But ultimately, the notes hold up.
And you did give me notes.
I was restrained.
You were very restrained.
Oh, I do not like bad art.
Dude, you could have said a lot more.
I think it was pretty fair what you put out there.
Thanks.
The fans, the Ice Home fans do not agree.
They think, they have accused, and here's what's driving me nuts,
is they're saying that you're jealous of Eric on my behalf,
that you're mad that my comic book isn't making enough money.
But it's already a success.
First of all, I'm very happy with
the amount of money we've raised. It's pretty good.
You're supposed to make three million dollars on your first comic.
Yeah, it's not. Normal comics
don't normally make millions of dollars.
Like if you're a super industry pro.
Yeah, but if you're like you
or like... It's my first time out the
gate. I got a little fun project
and I'm like, like hey this is pretty good
And everyone's going you're just jealous
You didn't make three million dollars
I'm like making three million dollars from a comic is kind of ridiculous
To the point where I kind of questioned the numbers
And exactly who put them together
But that's a whole other story
Alright
Glenn Beck
The idea
We gotta go get these libs
We gotta get these
Libs with your comic
Eric
I look
I'm just
It's curious
That other guys
Who seem as big as Eric
Maybe Avery can get
To the bottom of
Who really funded
This comic
It would be a fun
Detective story
Maybe that's the
Detective story
I'd like to know
Exactly where the
Numbers came from
Once I get done
With figuring out
What Rumble's all about
And what this money's for
I'll get to work
On that one
There's a lot of weird
Stuff going on But like as I point out Razorfish just did a comic He didn't raise a all about And what this money's for I'll get to work on that one There's a little weird stuff going on
But like as I point out
Razorfish just did a comic
He didn't raise a million dollars
And Razorfish's got a
Real big audience
I feel
Yeah
A very dedicated audience
Anyway
That's a whole other thing
But the idea that you would be
Jealous on my behalf
And then feel the need
To attack
This guy
To
Cause you're mad
My comic didn't make money
Just read the fucking notes though
Just read the notes and tell me that
they're very simple notes
about story structure.
I put what I thought
the summary of ISOM was into chat
GPT and I said write me a plot
based on the hero's journey
and it fixed it.
It just took what was there and just made it better.
It didn't have two fights against the same security guard for no reason.
That doesn't advance the plot at all.
It ends with the cops showing up and chasing him away.
Where I'm like, well, what the fuck's the point of him fighting him?
Just to fight him?
It's to show that he's strong and he's back.
I don't fucking know what the point of any of this is.
People seem to like it.
I was worried that people wouldn't want to see my autistic review of a comic.
But they do. No, people to like it. I was worried that people wouldn't want to see my autistic review of a comic, but they did.
No, people have enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.
I think it's insightful and it's, you know, I was talking to you.
I'm saying we should do some movie reviews.
I think people enjoy your insightful critique.
Here was today's.
Okay.
Junko says, Eric, bro,
you should rein in this
Ripa Cole post, this other account.
He's making you look weak and like someone who doesn't get jokes.
We like jokes.
Jokes are funny unless maybe you are the Rippa Gold Post.
And Eric says, nobody makes me look weak.
If your view of me looking weak is based on another person that isn't me, you're a pussy.
And he says, man, you really are a bad writer.
Yeah. He says, man, you really are a bad writer. You're pussy.
You're pussy.
You're pussy.
Dude.
He can't read is a weird thing as well.
Now I'm being mean?
Is that too much?
I'm not in the fucking culture war, man.
I think this shit is fake.
I don't think spending $35 is kind of change politics.
I think it's all a marketing campaign.
It's all a marketing campaign.
Which for a year I've said I'm fine with.
Yeah, I guess if you want to sell fucking woke chocolate bar or anti-woke chocolate bars, good for you.
It's dumb as hell, but most of my advertising is dumb as hell.
But I'm not going to say you're a good writer.
You're a great marketer.
You figured out what marketing is currently working.
Hopefully it's going to stop.
Did you see Trump told everybody to stop fucking saying woke about everything?
Trump does.
Trump?
Trump?
Trump?
I was like, that was the smartest thing I've ever heard that man say.
I'm like, he knows.
Everybody wants to be respected.
Everybody wants to be respected.
Like a woman.
It's not enough that she's hot.
Well, what about my mind?
Yeah.
Like, well, yeah, your mind's fucking shit.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
What about your mind?
Your mind and your personality are horrible.
That's why God gave you those tits.
Yeah.
Right.
But no, that's not good enough for anybody.
Actors all want to be fucking musicians. Think your music sucks music sucks though because you're not a musician oh how dare you
tim cast makes great music what's worse tim's music or eric july's writing what do you think
let's get a poll let's go let me get a one for tim cat for tim and a two for eric's right all
right is that look all these people that people have a very good grift going.
And I can't, I don't know.
That's my superpower.
They got to keep me chained up with my mouth closed.
Yeah, because otherwise you might say something and cause them to lose their fucking minds.
I'll be at the, oh, what was the guy in, I keep wanting to say the hunt for Hannibal Lecter,
but that's the Hunt for Red October
What is the
You're talking about
Silence of the Lambs
Silence of the Lambs
Yeah
The Hunt for Hannibal Lecter
As it's commonly known
In international markets
Jack Ryan
What was the
What was the warden of prison there
Where he was
I don't remember the guy's name
You don't remember
He's like
Why don't you tell me a story
And I'll
I'll give you some notes on it
And then the next scene is like
Okay It's been a while Tell me a story And I'll I'll give you some notes on it And then the next scene Is like Okay
It's been a while
Since I've seen
Silence of the Lambs
Dick
Who won last week?
Uh
Me
Losing shit
Making decisions
Was after that
Wow
I suck
Yeah
Mispricing nostalgia
That was down there
And then
Very special episodes
Was last
I don't know why
Those are horrible.
Everybody was like, no, I really liked the episode.
Somebody posted the N-word locker from Family Matters.
Was that it?
Oh, yeah.
Was that real?
Yeah, I think that was from an actual episode.
It was that Laura goes to close her locker,
and the N-word scrawled across it.
An Urkel goes.
I think it was an Urkel goes. Is it an E or an R?
I think it was an ER.
Yeah.
Wow.
I was like, wow, Urkel exists in a universe with systemic racism.
Fantastic.
Yeah, Carl's fucking contributing to it.
Okay.
Tomton says, superhero.
Superhero that tell women, you better do what I say
or I beat you and go around killing random people for no reason because they told him
to leave runaway from cops after killing people.
Did he really do the superhero?
Uh, well, he says something else here.
I don't know what that's it.
That's very, well, I understand the point he's making is that how is this guy ever a
superhero?
I saw him as just as somebody wrote in a review.
So one of our fans reviewed it and Eric was very mad about the review,
but he says,
uh,
I saw him.
I saw him shows up in the club and the heroic employees of club Merck try to
try to stop this evil black man from ruining a good time.
And I was like,
that is kind of what's happening.
Yeah.
Uh,
Tony Gibron.
He says imposter syndrome just sounds like a way for rich and successful people to twist their accomplishments into a pity party.
That's true.
Good point.
It's not always, well, yeah, maybe.
Yeah, I'm also rich and successful, but I just don't feel like I deserve it.
Can you make me feel like I deserve it too?
I feel fairly confident in some of my skills.
You?
Yeah. Some of my other skills, I feel fairly confident in some of my skills. You? Yeah.
Some of my other skills
I feel imposter-y.
Kiwi says,
can we get a Strongwiener comic?
Whether it's written
and illustrated by a child
or AI,
it's going to be better
than I saw them.
Hmm.
Maybe.
I want to make more comics now.
I'm excited.
Buddy, you got
your one comic to make.
Yeah, I know.
And that's my focus.
All right. Once that's my focus. All right.
Once that's on the path, who knows?
Chief Wahoo says, how is this even against the culture war anyway?
It's basically a crappier Black Panther.
I don't know.
Well, that's also what drives me nuts is that it is, everybody does go, oh, we're winning
the culture war.
And I'm like, but this isn't even like a culture war thing.
It's just like a guy.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah yeah but that's enough because
like if the liberals made it he'd be gay
and fucking dudes and I'm like liberals
make stuff about gay
there are liberals who are just making normal stuff
he lives with a guy out in the middle of the woods
it's pretty gay to me or out in the middle of the ranch
or something there's something kind of
homoerotic there yeah
they don't even say what his ranch does
Because it's doing man milk
Wow
And he hires a bunch of white slaves
To run it for him
Long wool coat says I lost my speaker a month ago
And I refuse to buy a new one because I fucking hear it somewhere
I can hear what's playing music
Off this phone right now
I know it's here somewhere
How can you not locate the speaker if the speaker is making noise?
Maybe he's an idiot. It must have fallen under the couch
or something.
Jason Fakua says,
The reckoning coming
Vito's way when Superkiller comes out.
Oh, I think this is supposed to be read.
The reckoning coming Vito's way when
Superkiller comes out.
He's been talking
shit for years. Hopefully there won't be much ammo for
people okay but the difference is that if somebody came to me and said i didn't like this part of
your comic i would go well that's interesting maybe i can improve upon that i wouldn't go
this crack smoking uh he called me the fucking word
it's actually been weird because some of eric fans have been like, I don't like the art
of your comic.
And I go, well, I think it's technically proficient.
Yeah, leave the artist out of it.
I also don't think the art is bad in any way.
I'm like, you can say you don't like the style, but.
I'm sure the artists really love what I'm doing.
I don't think, I don't know if he's aware of it.
I don't ask him.
I'm always worried that one day I'm gonna get an email Where he's like
Hey I finally listened
To your podcast
And uh
I'm out
Luckily he's Mexican
There's enough
Of a language barrier
That I don't think
He's gonna listen
To the podcast
Jared S says
I'd 100% buy
The incredibly stupid
Woman comic
You should do that
So you said
You're not gonna make comics
But then everybody's telling you
You got a golden idea Maybe I'll do that It See, you said you're not going to make comics, but then everybody's telling you you got a golden idea. Maybe I'll do that.
It'd be pretty great, a woman
crashing cars. I can't charge
$35 for that shit, though. You don't have to charge
$35 for it. $10.
Yeah, you can make it like a cheap, like, floppy
whatever the hell thing. Maybe I'll just do it for Christmas.
Or you could do it as part of the
magazine that I pitched to you.
Yeah, Rev, while I decided
to read Isom to see if it was any good,
the biggest takeaway when I finished was that if someone asked me what it was about, then it would
be impossible for me to explain it to them. I now understand why the synopsis was so bad. Okay.
It's about a black guy who spends 100 pages going to one building, fighting a guy, then going away,
then going back to that building And fighting the same guy Yeah okay
With no development to any character
For no reason
He found Jasmine
And she said
She kind of just walked away
He grabs her and then in the very next panel
Some security guards grab him
And then he says is that any way
You gotta grab somebody aggressively
Is that any way to treat somebody
And you go well there's you doing that to her right there.
Remember when he visits Darren at the beginning of the comic?
Yeah.
Could have found Jasmine then.
Yeah.
It could have been like, and then from there, the mystery could start unfolding.
Instead, after like 80 pages, it's like, oh, there's Jasmine.
I'm like, well, what is the point?
There's no, all right, whatever.
We're going down a rabbit hole.
Well, Dick, you're the winner.
Oh, never mind.
But we first have to do our favorite segment.
Right.
Vote it up!
Vote on the problem.
I think we did that one already.
Yeah.
Shit.
We definitely did that one already.
V-toe.
P-toe.
V-toe.
All right.
P-toe.
P-toe. P-toe. V-toe. P-toe. All right. They've been knew for voting To fear self-promotion But the sets have broken
Vote it up
If you don't vote
I'll mutilate your family
Biggest prop, Lumlot show
That's where you have got to go
Criminalizing straight sex
Bonus full of incest Ditting your band-aid with That's where you have got to go. Criminalizing straight sex.
Boners full of incest.
Ditching your band-aid rent.
Both get dumped.
Fake mobile gamers.
14 to 60, your class.
Keep it going.
Twice as long.
Twice as long, guys.
Thank you. Good solid minute there. Blitzkrieg bop.
From Mao Zedong, it says.
I was going to say.
Wait a minute, what?
Oh, Blitzkrieg bop, that's the name of the song?
Blitzkrieg bop is the name of the song.
Okay.
Is his name voted up, Stinger?
The Ramones?
I don't know any song titles.
Well, Blitzkrieg bop. The Blitzkrieg bop, bop, bop, bop.
I also can't hear lyrics ever.
Well, the Ramones were not known for their verbosity, their enunciation.
Okay.
From Mao Zedong.
Well, Dick.
Yeah.
Back in episode 27, digging back in the archives, for a problem called Smoking is Too Cool.
Right, I remember that Well Canada has just announced
That it will begin putting
Individual warning labels
On cigarettes and other tobacco products
In an effort to further reduce their appeal
It will be the world's first country
To use this measure
That means each individual cigarette
Will now be printed
With various anti-smoking messages
Dick
Like I'm an absler Well I have They should say that will now be printed with various anti-smoking messages, Dick.
Like, I'm an F-sler?
Well, I have.
They should say that.
This is a cock?
That was just a little picture of Dylan Mulvaney on it going,
Oh my God.
That would work.
Why don't they just put like a bunch of trans and gay shit all over it? Trans rights.
If every fucking cigarette was rainbow colored,
it would stop so much smoking so much quicker.
Camels should have like a gay pack and they should go like, you know, actually we hate smoking.
That's why we put fucking trans shit all over it because then you're not going to buy it.
Right, guys?
Right?
That would be awesome.
Well, Dick, some of these individual health warnings on each cigarette will include slogans such as cigarettes damage your organs,
cigarettes cause cancer, poison in every puff, and worst of all.
That sounds cool.
That does sound cool.
But here's the worst one.
Cigarettes cause impotence.
Can you imagine smoking that in front of your friends?
Yeah, but if you're talking about impotence, she's thinking about your dick.
That's true.
Poison in every puff is pretty cool.
Are they going to go throw a hissy fit When I criticize these
Slogans
Not gonna work
Cause people have a death wish
Man
I think
How dare you say that
About our ad slogans
I think at this
I think like at the point
Where you gotta put
This is killing you
On the cigarette
Just admit you lost
Just give up
Who cares
Yeah
Everybody knows
Everybody doesn't care
Cause again Smoking is too cool It offsets any amount of thing You do to Admit you lost just give up who cares Yeah everybody knows Everybody doesn't care because again
Smoking is too cool it
Offsets any amount of thing you do to and
Honestly it does make it cooler to put poison in every
Puff on there you go yeah I'm gonna fucking
Die well because it also sounds
Like alliteration yeah like
Your doctor doesn't your doctor
Doesn't say like I'm sorry you have large cell
Hodgkin's lymphoma
He says that like he doesn't Say like oh you've got like a large cell Hodgkin's lymphoma. He says that.
He doesn't say like, oh, you've got like a.
You've got lucky lymphoma going on here.
And you're like, ooh, a little alliteration.
That makes it fun.
You've got a spell in your cell.
Yeah.
You could just, if you just put pictures of penises.
If cigarettes had to have a picture of penis on it so it looked like you were sucking on a little penis.
Yeah.
You'd be done.
Or if they just put a little semen in them.
There was a little semen in them there's a little
semen in every cigarette yeah and they had to add it by law you'd go oh yeah that's the thing
harmful yeah exactly you're like you're required you're required to have the filter and a little
bit of pig semen that's fucking genius because like tar you're like yeah whatever it's in my
lungs that's cool i don't care dude you're like yeah whatever It's in my lungs, that's cool Dude you're fucking smoking jizz
Filter doesn't work cause you put your fingers on it
Every cigarette should have to be a little slimy
Like it's been dipped in jizz
We have to do, by law
We have to make one cigarette
In every
Yeah, every like carton
Has to have a full of pig jizz
All in it
The whole thing
And when you smoke it, you know I don't think I need two Every carton has to have a full of pig jizz all in it. The whole thing.
And when you smoke it, you know.
I don't think I need two.
I think I just need one cigarette today.
Why are we not on the health council?
We could fix this overnight.
Because it's all a big popularity contest.
Like, every, you got to learn how to play ball and not tip the canoe.
Well, Dick, smoking is too cool is currently ranked number 309 with only 100 upvotes.
I feel like we can get it up there, guys.
Don't forget to vote it up.
Other problem, which you'll remember.
I believe you brought this one in.
Going all the way back to episode 22.
Yeah.
Going back to work.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Well, you know who doesn't want to go back to work? Teachers.
Are these Amazon employees, Dick?
Oh, why?
Who walked off the job Wednesday, calling on the company to reconsider its return to office mandate,
as well as curb their greenhouse gas emissions.
I don't really understand how those are related.
Who cares about that shit?
I don't know.
They just tried to get them both in at the same time.
Nearly 2,000.
Greenhouse gas emissions?
What?
Bitch, we don't want to work. I don't give a
shit about that at all.
Nearly 2,000 Amazon employees joined the
walkout. Starting in May, Amazon
began requiring employees to work from
the office at least three days a week.
What do you think? Should people be forced to go back
to the office or should we embrace
this new work from home lifestyle?
I think we gotta
bring everyone back and fire all women
But you can't do one or the other you gotta do both. Yeah, you can't have everyone working at home and
Firing women. How about all the women have a vacation?
But if you're bringing it back to the office, I get it because everybody's work
There's more like work getting done. We gotta get rid of women
We can't we can't make everyone come back and have to tolerate that shit all day.
Now is the time.
If we remove women from the workplace, men will naturally want to return.
Send them to Ukraine.
The women.
Yeah.
Need some fresh bodies over there for the meat grinder.
I don't know if that's the exact solution.
All I know, Dick, is that going back to work is currently number 52.
That's pretty high.
563 upvotes.
So don't forget to go to the website, biggestproblem.show, and vote it up.
Oh, shit.
I moved it.
All right.
That was a really good.
That was such a good setup.
That was a really good transition.
Shit.
I perfectly nailed it.
Shit.
Blitzkrieg bop.
Yeah, I see it now.
You fucked up my transition.
P-Dough.
V-Dough.
P-Dough.
V-Dough.
Yeah, I get it.
All right.
P-Dough.
V-Dough.
P-Dough.
A little decoration.
Take me to the station.
Stop laughing at this.
A people's liberation.
So get up.
Asshole.
You are the winner for this week, Dick.
Pizza.
Fizz up in motion.
You don't even know what the song is.
You don't even know what the song is.
So get up.
Oh, yeah.
My.
If you.
What is your problem?
Your problem is people who pretend not to get jokes.
Oh man, I can't imagine.
Pretending not to get the joke.
Yeah.
This one was today.
Keith Olblerman.
Keith Olblerman.
You know that guy, that sportscasting guy that's pretending to be in politics now?
Is that what he's doing?
I don't know what he's doing. He used to be a sportscaster. Yeah, I know that, but that sportscasting guy that's pretending to be in politics now? Is that what he's doing? I don't know what he's doing.
He used to be a sportscaster.
Yeah, I know that.
But, like, what does he do now?
Does he even have a show?
He just complains about Trump, I guess.
I don't know.
Does he have his own show somewhere?
In this case, Chrissy Mayer, who's a very good friend of ours.
Yeah, we love Chrissy.
She's making this obvious joke, right?
It's pretty ridiculous to just assume that Chick-fil-A, I mean, you know, I'm hesitant to make a fried chicken joke, but they sell fried chicken.
I don't know how much more inclusive we can get here.
Okay.
I really want a longer clip because it kind of felt like the Newsmax guy was like, oh, no. I think if there is a record for how uncomfortable you can make a joke,
I would like to see what it is after that.
Yeah, she really, if you're going to make the joke,
I think you just got to stone face it.
What if people say they're not inclusive?
They got fried chicken.
The thing is.
I just got to say that, that I mean I have dated black guy
But I mean I didn't know
Like it wasn't a thing I was doing
I have a great relationship with my dad
That's not to say
That that would be a reason
Oh man
But my point is
Look I will give
I will give Chrissy credit
For even attempting that joke
I would not have attempted that joke
We're gonna get to you
We're gonna get to what you would or would not have attempted that joke. We're going to get to you.
We're going to get to what you would or would not attempt.
I've attempted some.
I've said some things.
Here is somebody going, yikes.
Oh, man.
Like, you know she's making a joke.
You know, I support hate speech and jokes equally.
Like, they're both free speech, whatever.
But.
Yeah, I don't want to cancel Chrissy over this.
It's a pretty.
Yeah, but this is like a...
You guys know this is a joke.
Keith Olbermann knows.
Look at this.
He says, look at this piece of shit.
And he says POS.
Chrissy Mayer being overtly and proudly racist.
It's also like the most boring form of racism.
It's like, guys, come on.
We've been making these jokes forever.
Everybody knows you make a fried chicken joke. It doesn really mean anything here's another one that uh here's
another one of two guys that are obviously making a joke that now you thought that this would come
back and bite you right this fan art i really i wonder why i was worried i wonder why i was worried. I wonder why I was worried that this would come back.
This fan art of my
character kneeling on
a black man's neck, which has now been retweeted
by like
125,000 viewers.
Jesus Christ. 60,000
people saw this. This is us
looking at Vito's super killer
fan art. That's expertly edited by a
moron to take out all the parts where I go
Well obviously I don't approve of this
So it's just a video of me laughing
At a George Floyd joke
Involving Eric
July's character
I remember when you spent like three
Minutes disavowing it and I was thinking
In my head they're just gonna clip this out
What's the point of disavowing it
With that
There's a number of Isn'towing it? What's that?
There's a number of phones. Isn't that what your guy does?
He kills superheroes.
Yeah, right?
You remember that.
Yeah, it was a great bit, honestly.
The guy did the fan art, which is cool.
Yeah.
And he said you could make posters of it.
And now I have people saying, well, that's how they are, these racists.
They're the real racists.
And then, look, he's got us laughing those screenshots
of us laughing are not even from the same episode oh really that's from a complete i didn't have that
hat in that oh you're right look i have my hair looks like shit in this one yeah so he took other
pictures of us laughing to make it look like we're laughing way harder at that image he took a picture
of me with a better hair.
And I'm all like color graded to be like red for some.
Yeah, I look like the devil.
So they really, again, we look way more racist when you take pictures of us laughing that fucking hard from a different episode.
I guess.
I mean, it is just a bizarre thing.
I don't know why he couldn't have grabbed it from the episode he was mad about.
Here's another joke that people never take.
Always pretend that they don't understand.
Well, yeah.
A-O Vito.
Vito says, non-offending means that we understand breaking the existing laws is a no-no.
This guy says, A-O Vito, who's we?
And you say, me and the rest of the child predators.
Yeah, I'll never get away from that joke.
Chrissy Mayer. You know what? I get Away from that joke Chrissy Mayer you know
What I do have to give a Chrissy Mayer shit though
Because she pulled the I don't get the joke on me
On a Nina infinity stream
Right where I had said
That's right it's like
Where did you get this or something and I was like
They were like god I forget
Exactly what the joke was but you're right
And I said like that's when
that beef started yeah for me yeah and i was like oh my 14 year old girlfriend gave it to me
they were like you're a pedophile you're a pedophile because of this and i said i'm not
a pedophile that was my 14 year old girlfriend who did it or something stupid like that
and then christy mayor was like well i just don't see how that's a joke i'm like no it's
an expertly layered joke where i'm denying pedophilia accusations.
Well, it's not serious.
No, obviously not.
It's gotta be a joke then.
If it's not fucking serious, that's the difference between the H-Beach guys talking about FBI
crime statistics and father and single mother babies.
They're fucking serious.
They're not making jokes.
I think we really need the people who go You should be able to joke about anything
Like okay well that includes
All jokes guys
You know everybody defends Chrissy Mayer
For uh
But it happens now the reason I say this is because
It happens um across
The political spectrum
Yeah
Which where we've just seen Keith Olbermann is a liberal
You know one of these liberal pussies
I don't think Chrissy Mayer is racist because of that joke she made
I think she's racist because she hangs out with Anthony Acumia
But that's a whole other thing
That's a joke see
Anthony Acumia is not joking
Anthony Acumia is not joking
Look if there's anyone I can say
Is just actually racist
Anthony Acumia
Which I don't care
I'm not saying anything Not that there's anything wrong with that Anyone I can say is just actually racist. Anthony Kouyos. Which I don't care. Which is fine.
I'm not saying anything.
I can't stop you.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Well, it's not great.
It's not great for a legendary broadcaster to be tweeting the N-word that many times.
But sure.
Him, I can say that.
Chrissy, she's got plausible deniability.
So she's getting the treatment that she gave you. Yeah. I don't see how that's a joke. Like, well, he's, you know, a comedian. She's got plausible deniability So she's getting the treatment that she gave you
Yeah
I don't see how that's a joke
Like, well, he's, you know, a comedian
She's a comedian
It's clearly comedian in her bio
Making the oldest joke in the world
About fried chicken
Entertaining the African-American population
Jimmy Kimmel in blackface
You ever see them post?
Like, oh, this liberal's saying this
Here he is Doing Carl Malone
Yeah
He's all in blackface
Like well you guys know
That he's joking
Right
Right
What are you trying to do
Make him look black
Like make him look racist
There's a lot of weird
Tit for tat
Of like
Well you're
Actually
That's what they're doing
To us
Is they're like
Those guys make racist jokes
All the time
And then we make a joke
Which we didn't make
Somebody else made that art
we were reacting to it and they go well i mean whatever maybe we could have drawn it ourselves
all the time i don't give a shit yeah half my problems are pro-black related for some fucking
reason uh and they go oh those guys are the real racists and i go no we're all joking everyone is
joking that's irrelevant except anthony kumia he's not joking. That's not racism. It's a joke. Right.
Racism is like turning you down for a bank
loan. Right.
It's not. It doesn't matter if the joke is racist.
And you know that. You know that. You know
that it's a joke.
Roger Waters dressed up as a Nazi.
Did you see him doing that? Yes. And everybody
saying, and that was, I don't know if you even called it
a joke, but I mean
yeah, it's sat mean yeah It's satire
It's in the realm of
Kramer at the laugh factory
Okay well
That might be
That's a joke
See you can't even get on board
You as a comedian joking about
Me and the rest of the child predators
Can't get on board with the fork in your ass
I mean You know I got banned one of my accounts got banned Me and the rest of the child predators can't get on board with the fork in your ass.
I mean, you know, I got banned.
One of my accounts got banned because of the Kramer joke.
What do you mean?
I had my second Twitter, which I'm actually trying to get back because it had like 10,000 followers.
Oh, yeah?
Stone Toss posted like some comic he has that shows Kramer on stage.
Right. And I just responded To it with what is the quote
500 years
50
500 years you'd be on a different continent
We don't have to worry about it you know what I mean
50 years ago we'd have you upside down
With a fork up your ass
And somebody reported me for making a threat
So that was the ultimate
Not what do you call it
Knowing it's a joke Pretending it's you call it Knowing it's a joke
Pretending it's a joke
And pretending it's a threat
Trump doing the thing like
Oh I'm so confused
He's doing a disabled
Retarded joke
He's like well no that guy doesn't do this though
He's just like
His hand's like kind of goofy.
Like he's not going, and you know what he's doing.
You know he's going like a guy, like a woman driving.
Like, you do the same face.
It annoys me because the people doing it know,
they know that they're doing it only to trick retarded people
who legitimately don't know that it's not a joke.
There's a lot of stupid people that don't understand jokes
and don't know when something is a joke or not.
Don't understand metaphors.
Can't think of an apple. If you say apple
they're like, just, yeah, apple.
The word. They don't have any picture in their fucking head.
The guys who think that we are
racist towards Eric July because we don't like
his comic. And the guy posting
about it knows. Keith Olbermann
knows. They all know. Christy Mayer knows
that's a pedophile joke.
Yes. Okay? Everybody knows,
but they're lying about it to trick
people who are retarded
in that way into
thinking that it's real, and they can't tell the
difference. Well, they also do that thing where they go,
yeah, he's joking about it because that's what he
really believes. Yeah. That's what
she really thinks about black people.
It's like, you don't know that.
You gotta have evidence of that.
You can't just say that.
I promise she doesn't think that Chick-fil-A has fried chicken because of black people.
I think she also knows it's not bringing the black community together nearly as much.
She's saying six million cookies you can't bake them in the ovens.
I understand that joke, and I joke Fault the man for that joke
Right
Obviously a fucking joke
Obviously a joke
But yeah can you believe he said that
He's denying the holocaust
Can you believe it
If he's gonna deny the holocaust
He's not gonna do it like that
Do you wanna do one Nick Fuentes
Shout out on every show now
Is that
Is that the deal you penned with Cozy
And once every show
I'll make sure
To defend the honor of the great Nick Fuentes
Yeah
Yeah
Well I get what you're saying Dick
Yeah
It's not good
I think that's all that I had
Alright
Well that problem is called
People who pretend
Not to get jokes
Pretend not to get jokes
Joke deniers
That's a great one
No that's not good
Eh whatever we'll figure it out
It'll be on the website
Biggestproblem.show
Dick It's the month of June.
Can you believe it?
Yeah.
And June is everyone's favorite month because it's also known as Pride Month.
Gay shit.
Gay stuff is here.
Gayed up my ass.
Yeah.
Gay cars.
Woo.
Gay condoms.
Are you going to get a gay icon?
Are you going to make a rainbow icon?
I'm going to get a gay decal right on my asshole
I made a gay Twitter icon
I put a rainbow flag on my thing
Nah, I'm not gonna do that
Well, I'll tell you why I did it, Tink
Oh, okay
Because for the longest time
Because you're gay
Well
For the longest time
Heteroflexible
For the longest time
We considered Pride Month
You know, we knew it was stupid.
Yeah.
It's dumb.
Yeah.
Everybody accepts gay people.
It's a settled thing.
You got gay marriage.
I honestly thought that.
It's not, you know, you guys are always playing the victim.
It's not like everyone's out here calling you Satanists and pedophiles every day of
every week.
And then it came true.
And my problem is...
Is that enough pride?
Are you reversing your previous problem?
It's not enough pride, I guess we can call it that.
The problem is conservatives,
I had it as conservatives justifying
the necessity of Pride Month.
For the longest time, it's like,
we get it, you're here. You're queer.
We're fine. Just get over it.
Whatever. And now,
the rhetoric actually matches up to all the
bullshit they've been saying. Like, they want to kill
us and they want to take our jobs away
and whatever else. And we're like, no. You guys are
fucking stupid. And now it's fucking happening
and I'm like, fuck.
Damn it! Because I still
think Pride Month is fucking stupid and I still think the pride flag with the triangle is fucking stupid
Yeah, and it's stupid. You got to put a gay character in every sitcom and every movie, but then I go okay
But then there are a bunch of guys every day who are telling me if a teacher tells her students that she's in a lesbian
Relationship she should be dragged out in the fucking city square
and shot for child grooming.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, God, guys, come on.
You're doing it.
And that's the worst part is that it's making.
You guys are asking for it.
You're asking for it.
You're asking for it.
You're asking them to triple down at this point.
You realize it's going to make things a million times gayer.
Because now it's going to be like, I'm not even going to just tell my kids I'm a lesbian.
I'm going to come to school as a drag fucking thing.
And I'm going to have my tits flopping around and show them dildos all the fucking time.
I like that you're using lesbians in these examples because it makes it more palatable for me.
If it was a gay guy, you'd be like, okay, well, that's a little much.
Yeah, if it was like Some super hot teacher
Like she told us
All about her
Gay sex life
I was like
Go on
Go on
What did she say
About those
My teacher brought her
Lesbian wife
To class
And they kissed
In front of all of us
Nice
Really
Nice
How long
Did she give her
A little pat on the ass on the way out
Interesting
Just the argument
Why did you hear about this?
Come on, come in here
Look, it's fine
As I always say, there are a lot of sane people
Who have very common sense arguments about what's going on
I agree with some of the stuff
Where it goes, yeah, that book probably shouldn't be in that specific school library
What about Black Aragorn?
You hated that, right?
I'm mixed on Black Aragorn.
Okay, never mind.
I can't help you.
Well, I don't know.
I don't like it.
I think it's stupid.
He's gay.
What about that?
Yeah, if he's gay, then that's good.
Again, there's some stuff that, you know, conservatives say where I go, yes, I do think
some stuff's gone too far I do think
There can be some drag shows that are like
Most drag shows are fine
Most drag shows are fucking
Awful it's just
It's just the
Stupid cabaret bullshit
In town karaoke-ing
And not well
Um
That's why they should be banned.
I understand if it's a setting where, like, a kid is stuffing dollar bills in someone's thong.
I could go, all right, I understand why you're offended by it.
I still don't want to outlaw it.
Like, I still go, look, as long as they're not fucking, if they're naked and whatever else, I get it.
They're just calling gay people pedophiles now.
I don't know.
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is that the rhetoric is now just like literally
if you're gay, you're a pedophile or you're
trying to convert kids to
be gay or whatever. And I'm like, I really
don't think that's why. I think
at the end of the day, it's like, well, then why show
it to kids? And it's like, because those kids are going to grow
up and they don't want them to grow up and be like, because there's gay
kids. That's why there are gay kids.
And then there's also normal kids are going to grow up and
vote for shit. And they don't want them to
grow up going, man, I fucking hate gays
and gays are the worst. They don't want them
to be gay. They just want them to be like,
yeah, I'm cool with gays. I don't care.
This is your guys' fault for needing
teachers. You guys just had to have
your free state babysitters.
And now you don't
like what they're saying. That's too fucking bad.
You shouldn't have done this shit in the first place
You want to have kids so bad
You should have made enough money
So you didn't need a second fucking job
You should have not built this giant socialist monolith
To raise and take care of your fucking kids
And now it sucks for you
And now your kids are chopping their dicks off
Well that's too fucking bad
Maybe you should have thought of that
Before you did something this fucking stupid.
We are kind of in a hole
in terms of like, it's not going to get better
guys. Like, just this is what you
this is what you had. Yeah, you created
public school. Who's going to become a public
school teacher? A bunch of weird
queer guys who got
you know,
don't really know.
And women
No women
Yeah well a bunch of women
There's some guys
You think if women
Stop talking about gay shit
They're gonna come up
With something better
I don't think
The devil you know
Is better
You wanna
If you make it illegal
For women to stop
Talking about gay shit
You're not gonna believe
What they're gonna start
Talking about
They're gonna start
Telling your kids about money
Oh yeah it's good to have
All your stuff on one credit card It's good to have all your stuff on one credit card
It's good to have it all in one place
Woo
It's good to pay off the minimum
Cause then the credit card company knows
That you're reliable
Wow
That would be good
You know what drives me crazy about it
How everyone talking about it
Has no concept
Of how many questions kids ask.
Yeah.
Like, they're like, well, you know, the teacher's, like, popping this question.
Like, no, no, no, listen to me.
First of all.
They really seem convinced.
First of all.
Yeah.
All the kids know that they're gay.
Yeah.
All of them.
All the fucking kids know that the teacher's gay, and they know who the gay kid in the class is by, like, third grade.
Yeah.
By the time they're in like fourth fifth grade they
100 know and they have an idea of what they're doing and one of the kids in their class is cat
fishing an adult as another adult that's the fucking world and they all know about it and the
ones that do kind of know about it know it's bad but they can't they don't know but they can't
they're not gonna rat out their fucking friend they're all asking their teacher every fucking
day hey so what's your what's your husband what's your what's your wife what's your husband what's
your wife what's your husband what's your so what's your husband? What's your wife? What's your husband? What's your wife? What's your husband? What's your wife?
What's your husband?
And what are they supposed to fuck?
I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You guys know.
You've seen them once in a while, I assume.
You could be fucking the greatest detective in the world.
I saw him.
And you still can't keep that shit secret.
Well, they seem to think that, like, just the kids being aware that you're in any sort of relation.
They're like, I just don't know why they need to talk about that.
It's like, dude, You're with those kids For like
Because their friend
Has two gay dads
That's why
Because they're calling
Each other gay
All the fucking time
Yeah
It's uh
They really live
In a bizarre space
Where they think
At this point
I guess they just want
Robot teachers
Just get robot teachers
Then
That's what they want
Because then the robot teachers
Aren't you know
Fucking and sucking And talking about anything they just go here is math and all the kids will
fuck each other that's why you need an adult in there you go stop doing what you're doing
because little kids do that little kids play with their dicks and genitals all the fucking time
the point is that at no point in time did i ever feel the need to uh you know give out you know
say hey I support the
gay community. I was like, they know they're supported.
They're fine. And now this Pride Month...
They're doing better than me. That's what I always thought.
And now this Pride Month, I feel like I really have to go,
hey, gay,
trans, lesbian people
out there, maybe in my audience, like,
we're cool. I don't think you're
pedophiles, and I don't think you're trying to
molest kids, or I don't think you worship Satanophiles, and I don't think you're trying to molest kids, or I don't
think you worship Satan.
Is that so they buy your comic?
Yes.
No.
You know who else supports your rights as super killer?
I'm genuinely, like, if I was a gay guy, let's put it this way, everybody calls me, well,
I'm saying-
What are you sucking cocks over there?
If I was, like, an out and proud Like waving the flag
Or whatever else
And every day
You know
Well, maybe I will be now
Maybe that's gonna be my thing
You're gonna come in with chaps and shit
And leather like biker shirts in here
I'm gonna get fucking a leather like suspenders
And fucking nipple clamps
Cause I feel like I have to
Now it's like my community
Like I gotta support my community
And the community that I previously was like
Well yeah I don't know these guys are fucking
Crazy F slurs
I might start doing Amyl Nitrate
In support of the gay community
Sure why not
I just feel like
You know
And you know how like I've always been talking about like a lot of like, I have a lot of problems with some of the trans stuff and whatever else
at this point.
I'm like crazy.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
But I'm also can't make fun of it.
Yeah.
But yeah.
And that drove me.
That's for the longest time.
But now I'm like, you know what?
I feel like I'm in that position where like, I almost, I'm like, yeah, I still think it's
crazy, but now I just don't want to talk about it because all that happens is a bunch of
guys show up and they go, yeah, they work for Satan.
They're pedophiles.
It's the same thing that happened with Star Wars.
Anytime I want to talk about a topic, a bunch of conservative right wing nut jobs show up and they go, yeah, Kathleen Kennedy's trying to make all our kids gay by destroying Luke Skywalker and making females the dominant force in the guy.
And I'm like, now I don't want to talk about it.
You guys have ruined it. I just want to hate women.
I don't want to be in all this, like, gay shit that you're talking about.
So, uh...
Yeah, they're trying to promote women.
Like, yeah, because women are fucking stupid, right?
Like, no, because they're trying to make us gay.
Like, what?
And all this shit with Target, where they're going through the Target
and determining what is and what isn't Satan.
And, uh, again, they're calling Target and threatening.
They're like, we're going to bomb the fucking Target if you don't take the Pride shit down.
And they take it down.
They're like, we got them.
Yeah, we got them.
That's what they're celebrating.
Yeah, you issued violent threats.
Why are you happy about this?
Why aren't you doing that to the government?
Yeah.
So now I have to go, well, I'm clearly not on the side of that.
Like, that's horrifying.
What the fuck is wrong with you guys?
I think Pride Month is stupid, too.
But I'm not telling them, if you don't take it down, I'm going to kill you and your family, you fucking idiots.
Did you see the Dodgers did that cross-dressing nuns shit?
And their whole deal is to promote safe sex with gay men so they don't get AIDS.
Is that what the sisters do?
Yeah.
The organization?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And they're like, this is a blasphemous.
Like, I don't, I really don't think, I think preventing AIDS is probably better than like.
It's worth offending a couple Catholics.
Yeah, you could like, you could like cross dress as nuns if you're stopping AIDS.
Yeah.
I think that's okay.
Also, if there was like, let's be clear.
How many AIDS have you stopped?
Have you guys stopped?
If there was an organization of sexy nuns for like guys, that was like a charity.
Every calendar.
Nobody would say like, oh, this is offending me as a Catholic.
Like nobody would give a shit.
Yeah.
It would be like boomer to your cringe shit.
They'd be into it.
Point is that the newfound necessity of Pride Month is what you guys actually manifested it
into being necessary.
I can't believe you guys did that.
Like I was perfectly fine with just every year going,
yeah,
it's pride month.
How stupid,
how stupid it's so fucking gay,
blah,
blah,
blah.
And now it's like,
no,
we actually do have to celebrate gay people because a bunch of psychopaths
want to kill them.
Great. Thanks. Uh, did you see that lady, uh, No we actually do have to celebrate gay people Because a bunch of psychopaths want to kill them Great
Thanks
Did you see that lady
That trans lady
That lactated
Yeah
I saw a little bit of it
Poisoning her
I was like wow that's weird
I wouldn't drink that
Were you trying to get her on the show?
Yeah, I wanted to buy some of her milk
She can't be getting that much milk
Even if I get a little bit
You know, like the pig semen
I just need a little bit
I was like, yeah, let me get some of that milk, right?
Yeah
And then the guy's like, oh, she's poisoning her kid
I was like, uh, really? You guys are that upset by Get some of that milk Right Yeah And then Guy's like Oh she's poisoning her Kid I'm just like
Uh
Really
Yeah
You guys are that upset by
What about just like
Smoking
Is that not
Is that
Yeah a lot of moms
Are smoking around their kids
Smoking
Is that
How bad is that then
Versus like this weird
Lactating shit
I would need
I would need to see the science
On what male breast
Male hormone infested breast milk contains.
You know, you don't know how to read science.
You're right.
I know.
It's just, it's, no, it's not as good as regular milk.
It's probably non-nutritious, but it probably doesn't kill the kid either.
Maybe a little bit, you know.
A lot of women can't lactate.
They got to use formula anyway.
I feel like this is A whole other issue
I don't know how I feel
About the lactating man
Why?
Breastfeeding the kid
I don't know
Why do you do not
Support pride?
Do you want a kid
To suck your nipple
Really that bad?
Me?
No
No but this lady
She does yeah
Yeah
Well honestly though
You know what's interesting
One of the weird things
About you know
Trans people Or one of the weird things About you know Trans people
Or one of the criticisms
Is always that they're
They're not really interested
In child rearing
The same way a biological woman is
Like a biological woman
Part of womanhood
Is wanting to have
A fucking baby
Being fucked
Yeah
Yeah so in any way
In a way
This translate
Is actually more
Of a woman
Than most trans women
Oh yeah
Whenever I think woman
I think of
Someone with a bunch of science
to prove their point, right?
A clearly laid out argument
backed up by facts and logic.
I don't know what science they are.
Yeah, here you go.
Here's a list of scientific studies
I have that prove my point.
Oh, wow.
What a womanly thing to do
that you're doing.
I can see why you identify as a woman.
Dick, it's fair.
I can't tell you how many times
that my girlfriend or mom has done that. Pride month, Dick. We, it's fair. I can't tell you how many times that my girlfriend or mom
has done that.
Pride month, Dick.
We have to celebrate everyone.
I mean, are you serious with that?
What, that I support?
No, that lady was like,
here's all the list
of scientific facts.
I think it's weird
and I don't want to know
anything about it.
I haven't looked into it
and I don't want to think about it.
Okay?
Sometimes I go into my mom's book club
and they're all like
Talking about
What scientific studies
They all read this week
That proves something
Or other
It's a very weird
Complicated situation
You know what
It's your
You're holding that
Honey you're holding
That upside down
It goes like that
With the big words
On the top
It's her kid
Yeah
What if a regular guy
Though wanted his baby
To suck on his nipples
Hilarious
Hilarious
I think
I don't know what I think about that
Well it happened in that movie
Junior
Yeah does a baby suck
Along the man's nipples
I think they addressed that
I haven't seen the movie in a million years
You think it would be weird if guys like suddenly
Cause guys are all doing like I'm super dad now and i want to talk about how i'm the guys are like oh i need to talk
about how i see guys not filling in as the dad and that means i'm filling in as a dad with their
baby bjorn you think like the next step of that is going to be doing lactating i don't know man We live in a very strange time
I kind of hope not
Not to me
I don't know how you just
Roll with the punches
I'm always like
I don't know what's going on anymore
This is horrifying
You gotta just go
Wow look at that
I just want everyone
To shut up about Satan
And pedophiles
That's it
Nah they're not
And the wokeness
At least Trump is gonna get them
To stop saying
Everything is fucking woke.
Yeah, he'll do that. Oh, he absolutely will.
What do you think about DeSantis?
Do you think he's gay?
I don't know if he's gay.
I could imagine he's had
an encounter. I don't know.
With a cock.
How many...
He strikes me as the kind of guy who's only ever been with
one woman his entire life
Cause then the rest were guys
Yeah the rest exactly
Alright
I was gonna do male
I was gonna do snail in votes
Cause at first I thought they changed the policy
For election
Disinformation
And we could talk about it
And I was just gonna do election
They didn't change the policy Well they said you could talk about it and I was just gonna do election They didn't change the policy?
Well they said you can talk about
Election stealing but you can't
Disparage mail-in voting
So I was gonna do
Snail-in voting
Do you think that snail-in
Let's just not
Then I thought that would be too close
You literally just got
Banned from YouTube
Every day
Yeah, but I had a lot of strikes on that
Okay, we have a lot of strikes, I'm pretty sure
No, I don't think so
I think if somebody
Yeah, but snail and voting's different
Because it's not
It says not real
Because like imagine if you put your vote on a snail
Yeah, that would be the worst
And it would go towards the voting area
Stop, stop
But it's all
Right? Yeah, it's all, right?
Yeah, it's so slow.
It's slow.
I hate snail voting.
Snail and voting.
That's bad.
Stop.
Pick a different problem.
But.
But what?
Would you agree that it would be.
Yeah. Do you think, would you want that it would be... Yeah.
Do you think...
Would you want to...
Would you trust snail-in voting?
No, Dick.
I would not trust snail-in voting.
What are your top three reasons why...
The sluggishness.
There's never been a snail-in voting...
Sure.
Mass snail-in voting in America, right?
Right.
So let's not test it.
Overseeing all these snails could prove problematic.
Their snails are probably always underpaid.
And it'd be problematic.
What's another reason?
You can't keep your eye on the snails at all times, right?
No, that'd be a problem.
Okay, this is my real problem. Okay
Nail and voting up you put snail and voting on there. Let everyone know why would you?
What's the deal man? You're faster than a snail. Anyway, just walk
vote in oh
We're not gonna have this channel for very much longer.
That can be your problem.
I don't, it can be your problem.
I just don't want to talk about it too much.
Yeah, I know.
Me neither.
That's why I got messed up.
I got a strike for doing the OJ Simpson versus Kanye thing.
Really?
Oh, did you know?
Did you hear about that one?
Not exactly.
That OJ, he changed his pronouns to they, them.
The Juice.
The Juice.
Changed their pronouns to they, them.
Sure.
And that's why Kanye was so upset with The Juice because they get away with murder. Oh, he was upset with The Juice.
Yeah, and The Juice.
OJ, The Juice Simpson.
The Juice are like, we're the biggest victim.
Okay, I got it.
We're the biggest victim.
We're always getting picked on.
I'm doing the bit.
I got it.
I got an eight-speed strike for that.
I'm sure you did.
It was a long bit.
Yeah, you got to cut it.
You really got to cut it.
Semaglutide and Ozempic.
That's my... Semaglutide And Ozempic That's my
Semaglutide
It's ruined
It's ruined
They look so different
We're gonna have a world
Where it's just
Strong men
And saggy looking men
Dude Tim Heidegger
Looks like he has cancer
In the newest season
Of I Think You Should Leave
I Think You Should Leave
Yeah and Sam Richardson
Just looks like a ham on a mannequin,
like some sort of a weird suit.
Yeah.
The Ozempic, that semaglutide, is it Ozempic?
Is that what it is?
Ozempic is one of the name brand versions.
So semaglutide is the scientific name.
Okay.
And the two most popular forms
In pharmaceuticals are
Ozempic and
Wagovi
Sam Richardson
I think you should leave
Usually he's my number two funniest guy ever
I've lost the funny fat
We're not going to have any funny fat guys left
This is exactly
The problem Value me while you got me folks There's not going to have any funny fat guys left. This is exactly the problem. Value me while
you got me, folks. There's not going to be any fun. Not only is there not going to be funny guys,
there's not going to be any fat women to blame all of our problems on. Yeah. You're just going
to have like lollipop heads. Well, you can make fun of that It's freaky
You gotta look up Mindy Kaling
Okay let's see
Let's see
She's got a swimsuit line now
No but you're gonna see her
And you're gonna go
That's not the most recent one
Where's the most recent
Oh there she looks like
Fucking Kim Kardashian
Where where where where
Which one of these
Okay look at the size of her here
I'm gonna blow that one up. Yeah, bring that one up.
Look up
like Mindy Kaling weight loss or something.
Weight loss? Yeah. Okay.
Oh, look, it's literally the suggested
weight loss.
This one? Yeah, you can look at that
one.
This one with the swimsuit?
Sure. There's a bunch of before
and afters. Let's check it out.
Here's her.
See this?
Look at how fat she is.
That makes me feel better about myself.
Right.
Look at that big old chicken arm, man.
Rich, not funny, fat.
There's some meat on that bone.
I'm glad I'm not fucking something like that at home, right?
I'm John.
You got something to be proud of.
Yeah, I got something to be proud of with my life, not this fucking thing. Is this her now? I'm John. You got something to be proud of. Yeah, I got something to be proud of with my life.
Not this fucking thing.
Is this her now?
I think so.
What the fuck?
There was a whole...
This is her now?
Yeah.
It looks like their faces get all stretched out.
Something's going on with this Ozempic stuff.
Everyone's turning into those scientists from 13 Monkeys.
12 Monkeys. Whatever it was. Look at this shit. Yeah. stuff. Everyone's turning into those scientists from 13 monkeys. 12 monkeys.
Whatever it was.
Look at this shit. Yeah, well, uh,
they look like completely different people. It's crazy. Chelsea Handler,
I don't want her to have a reason to feel good
about herself. Elon Musk uses
it. They're saying, uh, what's the guy from
uh, Grand Tour
from, uh. Jeremy Clarkson?
Yeah, Jeremy Clarkson's supposedly shrunken down.
Everybody's tearing away at the fat.
I hate it.
The only fat people that are going to be left are poor people.
Yeah, then it's going to be, and I don't feel good making fun of fat poor people.
I only want to make fun of fat people if I think it's their fault.
Yeah, it's their fault because they have access to other things.
Yeah, even if it turns out to not be the case.
Even if it's just like a gum and pie thing.
I need the illusion to blame them for something.
And then you, you're doing it.
Yeah, but I'm doing it all wrong and probably mixed it incorrectly.
Meghan McCain?
Wow.
I need that bitch to be fat.
God, please make this ozempic-sized cancer.
Hasn't she gone through enough?
Of what?
Her father dying tragically while serving his country.
Should have died.
In that POW camp.
Yeah.
You know my uncle was in that camp with him?
Yeah?
Yeah.
Did he say McCain was a whiner?
He called him worse than that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. he fucking did not
Have anything to say
Do you want to do that weight loss contest
That we talked about
Yeah do I have to weigh in right now
You have to weigh in today yeah
They put money
They're putting money in a smart contract
And then
Here's the rules okay
Here's V veto's weight loss
contest okay six months all right how much weight do you think you can lose in six months
i mean realistically i don't know well what's uh let's 50 pounds in six months 10 pounds a month
man it's a lot normally like weight loss is two pounds a week. So how many weeks is that? In six months?
Yeah.
Like, 25?
Half a year, so 26.
So it would be 50 pounds.
50 fucking pounds is fucking...
All right, let's say 50.
50 pounds, okay.
Six months.
I'm not going to lose 50 pounds.
How are you...
You just said that's a normal amount of...
So what's the amount that you'll do it?
Motivated and shit.
What's the amount that you'll do it for?
People will pay you money to do it.
Let's do a pound and a half a week.
How's that?
26.
30 pounds?
How much do you weigh now?
No, 26 plus 13 would be 40.
40 pounds?
40 pounds?
Put 40. How much do you weigh now?
I don't know
Guess
300
Okay so you're gonna weigh
260
260
That's pretty big
Okay 250
250
Okay
We'll measure you
We'll weigh you after
Okay
And then we'll do a minus
We'll figure it out
Okay
So people will put money
In the smart
contract and then every month we'll weigh you and if you haven't lost if you aren't on the way
to losing that that's a strike all right okay so the dividing you know the divider of that okay
so if it's if you have to lose 50 pounds if you haven't lost eight pounds by one month
that's a strike right right then you get three strikes you're out and i 50 pounds, if you haven't lost eight pounds by one month, that's a strike.
Right?
Right.
Then you get three strikes, you're out.
And I don't make any money.
You don't make any money at all reverts to everybody's wallet.
Okay.
All right?
There's no downside.
To you?
Well, the downside is like don't get the-
Shame of failure and-
Yeah, but my whole life is that.
Okay.
If you don't want money-
I do want money.
How much money is in the-
Is there money in the thing already?
People can put in the thing already?
No, we haven't made it yet.
We'll make it though.
The more money that's in it, the more motivated I'll be, I suppose.
We'll see about that.
If there's $10 in there, I'm just going to eat cookies.
Okay.
There's $20 in there.
Maybe I'll put one of those cookies back.
Semi-glutide.
Semi-glutide. You should probably keep taking it then, huh?
Yeah, you should
I'm taking it
It's going great
It's gonna go great
I got all sorts of
As long as I can sheet with medicine
Who knows?
I'm still not on the maximum dose
That'll kick it
You're mixing it yourself still?
Yeah
I don't think that's right
I don't think it's right either
I talked to a doctor
He said I don't think that's right I paid like 300 bucks for it i'm not gonna throw it out you should talk
to keffels first well i gotta grant this problem is very odd brand okay my problem dick is tardy
drink refills you know when you're in the restaurant and all you want is another soda
because it's the most important i don't want to eat if I don't have a beverage
Look at this right here
See this two beer
Empty beers that I have here
Okay but like we all know
This is the worst part of sitting in a restaurant
Is going
God I hope that waitress comes back soon
So I can get more of whatever I'm drinking
Maybe even water
I don't care what you're drinking
Anything
The point is your drink needs to be refilled
Or you're on a
date and you're just like, okay, I gotta
or meeting somebody. I'm like, well,
I gotta get a, if we could just get a, you
know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm not, I'm not
fucking freaking out. I just want to know where
the drink is. I need it. I need the drink.
The drink is the most, yeah. The meal does not
happen without the drink. Now
Dick, I have a solution though.
Okay. The first self-serving soda fountain machine was introduced in 1950 in U.S. chain store
Walgreens.
Okay.
We have the technology.
To do self-serving drinks?
Just put up a self-service beverage counter where at any point a customer, if they don't
want to wait, can approach the
machine and obtain their own drink.
They have that at McDonald's, though.
Why don't you just go there?
I think McDonald's doesn't even have that anymore.
No, they don't?
You got to go up to the counter and be like, the one near here, you got to go up to the
counter and be like, can you fill my drink back up for me?
Did people ruin that?
Did we have something good and a certain demographic of people ruined it?
Certain demographic. Stop it. I don demographic of people ruined it? Certain demographic.
Stop it.
I don't know who ruined it, Dick.
Some places still haven't, but there are always abusers.
Especially, I think, in L.A., a lot of kids just after school roll up with their moldy drink cup from several years ago.
Yeah.
And get themselves all the beverage they want.
What about 7-Eleven? You could eat there.
They have a drink refill
thing. Yeah, well that's what we, once
we invented the self-serve beverage counter,
there was no need for this.
It's part of the waitress illusion.
The illusion that the waitress is working
hard. Oh yeah.
Yeah, where it's like, oh she must be working hard.
She filled my drink
every time.
But when you think about it, you could have just done it.
You've done that.
You've filled your own drink at home.
Your whole life you've been filling your own drink.
Thousands of times a day, and you've never complained about it.
And you didn't give yourself an extra dollar for doing it either.
I never thought about it like that.
I have served my own self dinner at home a lot of times.
Yeah.
And I've never been like, oh, I can't believe I'm so fucking out of control over here.
I mean, this goes back to another problem.
I forget what it was, but the waitresses always want to convince you they have the hardest
job in the world.
Yeah.
And the only way to maintain that illusion is with these false setups.
Yeah.
These problems that could be solved instantly.
Invented problems
Yes
Asks like busy work
We have
We are ruining the American dining experience
Just so that you might
Feel inclined to supplement their wages
Yeah
In a perfect world
I'd be filling my own glass
You know
What if you just brought in like a barrel or something
Full of soda
Why don't you bring a pitcher
To my table
Then I can refill it
Whatever I want
No
Because they need
This little excuse
To check in
What about the carafe
The carafe is more your speed
The carafe is great
I would love a carafe
Yeah
Like an IHOP
I can't recall
The number of times
That my meal has been ruined
Just sitting there
And I'll time it at a certain point
Yeah
I'm like it's been eight minutes
She hasn't come back
Right
I can't eat this steak
Cause it's gonna be dry
Did this happen to you today?
It happened to me recently
Recently?
Yeah
And I was like well I don't wanna eat it
Cause then I'm gonna be
Yeah
And you're just sitting there
You're waiting
And thinking about the better world
We could all live in
And we don't live in that world
Because
We live in a lie
They need to get one of those
You know how they get
Stipends for retarded people
Working at stuff
Yeah
Like the government pays them
Yeah just have a retarded guy
Who just fills drinks
All he does is drinks
And you don't have to tip him
That would be great
He doesn't understand tips
You got coke in the right hand Yeah Diet coke in the left hand that's all he knows like uh if you want sprite
space champs on you yeah sprite go fuck yourself pedophile go eat somewhere else and he goes around
boom boom bam put up skates on him boom bam boom bam right right hey you, bam, superman on them
Spenders, right?
Honestly, all waiters and waitresses should just be
Retarded people, they're about as effective
As a, as long as you tell them where to go
Alright, there's one guy
Who goes, Mitchell, bring this plate
To that table
I don't know about what you're saying now, you got a drool problem
If you got a retarded waiter
You put little plastic coverings on the
Plates to make sure no drool problem. If you got a retarded waiter. You can put little plastic coverings on the plates to make sure no drool gets there.
No, my idea has become all messed up.
Is he going to have like the little pistol guns so he can like, you know, he's got fucking
bags of syrup on his legs?
Yes.
Yeah.
All right.
The soda tard.
The carbonated.
You're so tarded, buddy.
He skates away.
Put him on a trek.
Like a sushi restaurant.
And he just goes around
sitting on a little boat.
And he'd be really good at it.
Like you could hold your glass up
and he would like.
Do we hate retarded people
because we're making these jokes?
Like, is that the. No, we love retarded people and we want making these jokes? Like, is that the...
No, we love retarded people and we want more of them in our...
You can't say anything about black guys.
The second you say anything about black guys...
Oh, do you hate black guys?
We love retarded people.
I apologize.
We want them to have more jobs.
Comparing black people to retarded people in that...
Tardy drink refills, Dick.
That's my problem.
Oh, I didn't know you had tardy in there already.
Tardy drink refills. Maybe they my problem Oh I didn't know you had tardy in there already Tardy drink refills maybe they're not tardy enough Yeah okay
Maybe I want them to be retardy
Dick what were your problems
Um
Semiglutide, a Zympic, people who pretend not to get jokes
And snail in voting
Ooh snail in
And mine was the necessity of pride month
The surprise necessity of pride month The surprise necessity Of pride month
And tardy drink refills
Okay
Vote on all the problems
At biggestproblem.show
And don't forget to go
And sign up
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Slash biggest problem
And back.by
Slash biggest problem
Where we will soon have
Our new bonus episode
Dick
Are we locked in
On our bonus episode topic yeah we could do that
biggest problem in spider-man the new spider-man movie has just hit the theaters i need some i
need some time to think about that one though i got plenty of spider-man problems okay maybe
i believe you all right wait i have two clips oh okay this one's from eric july
okay saying that i think he's he's threatening me oh no this one's to pull up he's saying to
pull up and then i have eggy's response to your rap to my rap diss here's uh someone says in the
chat you're spending a lot more time on this guy than he spent on you okay this guy's been talking
shit for weeks did a whole stream on me right and i'm the one spending more time actually why is he so upset already we
didn't do a whole stream on him we did part of a stream on him yeah i didn't do a whole a whole
stream on him no you didn't do a whole stream 30 minutes of a stream i got my nails did. I did my nails did. I got my hair done. Ho stream.
Why would I ever do a ho stream on anyone?
Put a crop top on.
Or what is it?
A halter top.
Halter top, yeah.
Put earrings on and go.
I think you'd make a good ho, Mr. Masterson.
All right, what did he say?
What is this? All this all right well he's
lying about me doing a host stream because i've never done that uh someone says in the chat you're
spending a lot more time on this guy than he spent on you okay this guy's been talking shit for weeks
did a whole stream on me right and i'm the one spending more time actually was nipping at the
ankles for fucking and and then he got a co-host that had been nipping at my ankles for the entire year and you got there to say i'm spending more time i don't
do video like i'm the response agency that's the whole shit that i'll be talking about right there
that's a problem what's his name unfortunately i'm not on stream yard so i can't fucking like
highlight it but that's the whole shit i'm talking about where it's like people treat the responding
agency like they're the problem.
Like you initiate a conflict.
You're spending a lot of time talking about it.
God forbid.
I'm like, all right, what's up?
Then you like, whoa, whoa.
You're being dramatic there, guy.
Like, come on, man.
Stop being pussy.
Have y'all ever been in a confrontation in your life?
Like, serious.
Or is it just like.
Wow, this is a long.
Have we ever been. Have we ever been...
Have you ever been in a confrontation?
We were on global news getting our asses kicked
for making fun of trans people at a...
Not just to their face,
but at the global gathering of trans people
in the middle of Hollywood.
Yeah, that was a fun one.
Have you guys ever been in a confrontation.
We went to the trans parade in the middle of the gayest town in the world.
Got people trying to kick our ass.
And told them that, told them to go fuck themselves.
And then we got our asses kicked.
Yeah.
How's that?
I just want to say, it's not that you're responding.
You can respond.
It's that like, again Again We streamed for 30 minutes
Making fun of the comment
And I don't even make fun of
Reviewing
Giving some notes
Yeah
So the extent of your response
Should probably be
About 30
Probably less
Maybe 15 minutes ago
These guys
If you want to call us
Crack smokers
And potheads
Or whatever
Fine
N-words
And hoes
Yeah fine
But then at a certain point
the response is more than what the initial inciting incident was well similar to the comic
it feels like it never ends because it never addresses the point how does he have time to
write comics he streams like this for hours every day. I don't think he wrote it. I think he like
handed some notes to another guy. Cause I literally, I'm like, how does this guy get
anything done? Uh, Dami Pesos was going to read it. Good. I hope Marsh was going to read it too.
I'm excited. I have big news.
I got, this is not my girlfriend.
Right.
I got a fifth grade English teacher.
Is it the same one you used before?
I remember you had contact with. No, this is a new person.
New person.
I asked a fifth grade writing teacher who has spent probably 30 or 40 years telling
kids how to write The Hero's Journey.
Yeah. And grading their papers. I asked them and they're a big comic fan. 30 or 40 years Telling kids How to write The hero's journey Yeah
And grading their papers
I asked them
And they're a big comic fan
Okay
Because some people
Are saying I'm not
A real comic fan
Even though I've read
Like The Tick
And Dread and Screw
Like I love
Everybody knows comics
Anyway
I asked a grade school
English teacher
To grade
Eric's
Comic
Yeah
And I just got the results in Wait You already. Yeah. And I just got the
results in. Wait, you already got the results?
I just got the email.
Okay. I'll read you the first sentence
and then I'm gonna read the review on my show.
Okay. The first sentence is
I saw number one. I don't
even know where to start.
This is a fifth grade
fifth grade English teacher
Who has been grading
Children's stories
For 40 years
See and now Eric
You can respond
You have something more
To respond to
Good luck
Yeah
Good fucking luck
Responding to that
I mean if he spent a week
Going at a 30 minute review
I can only imagine
How many weeks Of him spurging out.
Probably an N.
Yeah, we're going to get it.
Jesus.
I don't even know where to start.
I'm excited to hear this.
Would you ever like your book being critiqued by a?
By a fifth grade English teacher?
I would hope they wouldn't say say I don't know where to start
That's a really bad sign
And again
Part of the problem is that
If Eric was just like a humble normal guy
I wouldn't have asked a fifth grade English teacher
To review it
If he just said hey guys I'm just trying my best
We'd go oh okay that's fine
But literally thinks that it's the greatest comic ever made
Michael Jordan of comics.
Some people have asked him, they've been like, okay, so you think Dick's critique is invalid
because he's a hater and whatever else.
Has anyone ever given you a critique you agreed with?
What, me?
No, just him in general.
Oh, yeah.
No, the answer's no.
He's like, no, there has not been a single legitimate critique.
He's calling women like bald.
Like, they're asking like really simple questions.
He's like, you bald-headed bitch. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I've had some other people be like, I didn He's calling women like bald. Like they're asking like really simple questions like you bald headed bitch. I'm like
Jesus Christ. Yeah I've
had some other people be like I didn't realize this guy
was so mean. I've had guys who are like fans
of his and they're like I didn't realize
he was so mean. I'm like yeah I just
blocked him because anytime anything happens he goes
well that fat piece of shit Vito
and I'm like well if you're gonna call me fat every fucking
time I don't want to talk to you. Okay.
I just blocked him Bald headed bitch
I've never said anything
About his appearance
She just asked like
If he retired
She just said
The story was about him retiring
And coming out of retirement
And he's like
You bald headed bitch
Like
Wait a minute
That's
That is what the story's about
What are you
What are you talking about
It's a very complicated situation
Fifth grade
Fifth grade
Well
I look forward to hearing it on the Dick Show.
Ten-year-olds, dude.
Available now on Rumble and Cozy.
You know, maybe I'll let my nephew write Strong Wiener.
It'd probably be pretty good.
All right, here.
Then you like, what?
You hit the responding agency like they're the problem.
Like, you initiate a conflict.
You talk all this noise.
And then, God forbid, I'm like, all right, what's initiate a conflict you talk all this noise and then so
god forbid i'm like all right what's up then you like whoa whoa yeah you're being dramatic there
guy like come on man stop being pussy have y'all ever been in a confrontation in your life like
serious or is it just like ending shit on the internet have you ever been in any confrontation
in your entire life okay or is it just you do bitch shit. You talk behind people's back
and then start pissing yourself
when they find out and address you.
Like, come on, bro.
Pissing ourselves?
I'm the responding agency.
That's what gets me about this.
Like, dude,
I don't like y'all.
I don't know y'all like that.
I don't know y'all to like,
not like y'all.
Like, I don't like y'all like that
because I don't know you.
Okay.
Y'all talk about me.
I'm just a responding agent.
No, you're comic.
I have no reason to acknowledge your crackhead ass existence if you just shut the fuck up.
Once again, Eric, I do cocaine.
I crack.
I wouldn't even know where to get crack.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't want crack.
I probably couldn't even smoke it
i probably would i don't know if i'd be able to bring it into my house it's so expensive but let's
let's also be real if you raise 3.4 million dollars for comic and a bunch and everyone's saying this
is the greatest indie comic of all time and it's going to change i haven't read it but it's amazing
yeah you have to accept that people are going to go,
okay, well, I want to read it
and see if what they're saying is correct.
Like, that's going to happen.
It doesn't make us like,
like, yeah, I'm a hater, sure.
I'm willing to say you're a hater.
Yeah, me and Eric have had a thing.
He's like put, like made videos on me and my friends.
The problem is that you were right.
I mean, the real problem is that
everything you said was right. And I was for the whole time i was saying
like you're just fucking jealous like he's selling a marketing thing but now this happened i'm like
he's a fucking asshole like he's a fucking dick that's what the problem was was i was like yes i
hate eric i think eric's a fucking idiot i think the things he says is stupid and on top of that
i don't think he can write a comic
I don't think he knows how to write
I've poured through his campaign
And all the preview material
And then I finally got my hands on it
And I read it and I said
Okay, it's exactly what I thought it was
This guy doesn't know how to write
But yeah, you're right
Everybody went, no, you just hate him
And it's like, no, I can hate him
And he can also be a bad writer
Those things can happen
Yeah, you're just not as good at explaining why as I am And you don't even hate him and he can also be a bad writer. Those things can happen.
Yeah, you're just not as good at explaining why as I am. And you don't even hate him.
No.
Yeah, you just actually read the comic.
I supported his campaign.
Yeah.
He's like, well, the comic sucks.
I feel like the whole time I was reading it and all week I've been hearing in my head that line from Happy Gilmore.
At the beginning when his bitch girlfriend goes,
oh, you want to be a hockey player?
There's just one problem, Happy.
You're not any good.
I just keep hearing that.
Yeah, there's just one problem.
You're not any good.
And that's kind of Eric's writing skill.
It's like, it's fun to have a dream,
and it's great that all your friends support your dream.
It's good that you made money.
But at the end of the day, you got to figure something out.
Good.
All right, here we go.
But don't go initiating problems and then crying foul.
Don't do that shit.
That's pussy.
That's like hockey.
That is fucking pussy.
That's pussy-ass against you.
And by the way, and I'm going to say this again, as I say it every year that we do this.
Okay.
What do we do every year?
The way that I'm talking about.
Is he talking about Juneteenth?
Yeah, is this a thing?
Are we racist?
Is that what I'm about to find out?
What do we do every year?
All right.
By certain crack smokers on the internet, you think I couldn't appear anywhere publicly
without someone trying to come and get shit addressed.
We got Dallas Fan Expo next week, or two weeks, right? We got the meetup.
I better be feeling some energy when I'm pulling up there, okay? I better be feeling some energy.
If not, we all know that y'all fronting for an audience on the internet. Because the fact that
people ain't pulling up, I don't understand that. I'm giving y'all public, I'm giving y'all where
I'm at, not hiding behind a fucking microphone and a camera like i'm giving you where i'm at let's hash it out let's talk
about let's be men let's come let's do confrontation wait what do what how do we do
he wants us to go to a dallas comic convention and do you want me to is he doing this do you
want me to tell you to your face that your comic sucks? I can do that. I don't know what benefit it provides to either of us.
Antifa had bigger black guys than you, man.
And they have bike locks and shit.
And they have no money to sue.
Like, I don't know what.
What are you talking about?
If you want to meet at a public place and have me tell you to your face that I think you wrote a shitty comic.
I'm totally down.
I just don't.
I don't think either of us benefits from that. Like, I think I can tell you that a shitty comic. I'm totally down. I just don't... I don't care.
I don't think either of us benefits from that.
Like, I think I can tell you that on the internet.
I don't want to go to some gay comic convention.
I do want to go to the gay comic convention, so buy me a ticket.
I mean, that wouldn't be offensive to you.
Right.
I would have fun.
Because of the gay stuff, yeah.
I like comics.
I tell you, Eric, all right.
If there's going to be a public event...
Was that an invitation for you to go to his thing?
I guess.
You should do that.
Your comic would go over 100,000.
If you go there and make nice with him, because you don't have to be mean anymore, because
I'll be mean forever.
Okay.
So you could just go, like, make nice.
I'll try to talk dick out of reviewing Eyes on No. 2.
I don't think I could make nice at this point.
Sure you can.
You did such a great job with Chrissy.
All right. shut up.
Frank, her fucking husband
seems friendly with me now, so that's good.
Yeah, Frank's fine. We like Frank.
Is he inviting you to his Comic-Con?
He's saying that he's going
to be there and that all these
haters should show up
and confront him publicly. I would ask him
to put it in writing, but I think that would only make it more confusing.
Yeah, I don't know what you want.
But Eric, if you want to publicly say that I don't have the balls to tell you your comic sucks to your face,
I accept that challenge.
Yeah, that's...
I would have no problem going, Eric, you have made a bad comic book,
and you do not know how to write.
Because of the writing
I don't know why you would want that
I don't understand why I'm a pussy
Because I didn't tell you it to your face
I guess is what you're insinuating
Yeah, I don't know
I just think you've gotten that message from me already
The internet can transmit messages effectively
I don't think you can hide in front of a camera
I've never heard that before
Yeah, I'm not going to hide in front of a camera
I'm not a good h front of a camera I'm not
a good hider to begin with all right let's hear the rest of this we need to pull up dick this was
only how long is this this is only four minutes four minutes three hour of five three hour streams
yeah 15 hours of cope streams about your 30 minute review yeah my notes must have been really bad If they provoked
They must have been way off target
If I
Oh my god
But ain't none of that energy I'm going around it's all love
And daps
Dap everybody want a dap but I'm cool
I'm taking pictures of everything good
What's a daps
Everyone's sucking up to you cause you made 3.4 million dollars
Eric like that's it All these comic guys I sucking up to you because you made $3.4 million, Eric.
Like, that's it.
All these comic guys.
I've talked to some of these comic guys. Do you think he's ever even heard of the Emperor's New Clothes?
Dude, there's some stuff.
No, seriously.
Do you think he's ever heard of the concept, the story?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know either.
That's what's happening.
He's the Emperor.
He's got Thomasomas soul in the background
who's one of the greatest writers uh you know of our of his generation i don't know here's one
weird thing eric said is that he doesn't watch any modern movies television or read any modern
comics and i go but you critique them constantly all the time how do you don't even know what's
going on so like i know what's going on
So I know he's not watching
People are like, are you watching The Boys?
Are you watching Invincible?
Like actually good superhero stuff that's on TV?
Yeah, and he's like, no
I'm not watching any of this mainstream woke trash
And I'm like, well then you have
That didn't start mainstream
No, yeah, Invincible's based on a comic from like
Boys wasn't fucking mainstream before too I I don't think showtime is mainstream. No
And I'm like, how are you gonna write if you're not even aware of what modern audiences are consuming?
You have to have your finger on the pulse of some of that
And that's a weird thing about isom is that the writing does kind of feel like weirdly like dated like it's not there's nothing
I know you're talking about. I know you're talking about i know you're talking about
yeah i did get that feeling too it's it's like a guy read comics in the 90s and then stopped
and then that just went back to you know what was going on kind of in the 90s i guess i don't
even know let's let's continue let's get the end boy i get i open my twitter you got motherfuckers
calling me all kinds of shit shit i even know what it is sometimes i what it is. Sometimes I got to Google what the fuck this shit is.
Like, what the fuck is that?
Just pull up.
Let's talk.
Pull up.
Okay.
Instead of hiding behind these fucking podcasts and fucking doing videos and shit.
Doing videos and all that shit.
That's what you do.
And then not having a nut sack to just be like honest about who it is you are.
You're a shit stirrer.
That's fine.
That's perfectly fine with me. You're a shit stirrer that's fine that's perfectly fine with me you're a shit stirrer but let's be honest let's not try to take the angle
where you being a shit stirrer is somehow good faith acting it's not you can't be both that's
cool you're inflammatory you're i'm okay with that type of guy. That's not me. But if you're going to be purposefully inflammatory, talk noise,
don't then cry and say, well, I'm just being the honest criticism.
Like, no, it's not.
It's shit stirring.
And just be.
No, it's not.
It's criticism.
It's not honest criticism.
It's just criticism.
It's like basic story structure.
You're saying what you believe, and I think it's pretty backed up.
It's on the paper.
Yeah.
You know, now it's for everyone to interact with.
Eric, when you make a product that raises a shit ton of money, you raise more money
than fucking Keanu Reeves' comic book, according to your numbers, which are-
You made more money than the person who wrote star wars seven or whatever it was you made a very good point is that like the people who write these
hollywood scripts that you're you know constantly railing against that's what you're criticizing
when you make these reviews is the writing the special effects don't mean most writers are not
getting paid three million dollars for a hollywood script no so you're in a position to be critiqued
and criticized.
Especially when... And you did a worse job than that. There's an entire sector of the
internet that has thrown themselves behind you
as some sort of savior of comics. I saw
a guy comment on one of your recent videos where it's
like, Eric is going to save,
single-handedly save Western
comics. When people are
saying shit like that, I think
it's pretty reasonable for critics to go, okay,
well, let's see... Let's take a look at it.
What would cause a man to believe this?
Yeah. Why? I gotta get a look.
I gotta take a look at this. It must really be
the greatest comic that was ever written.
And I don't
think it is. Dick doesn't think it is.
Yeah. If you want us to pull up, what do you want to do?
You want to have a public debate?
It's not that
interesting. I don't want to have a fucking forum about it like you wrote a shitty comic whatever drive-by shit like
hey how come i saw him jumps off the wall and then rams the guy to the same wall
and that guy jumping each other but they don't actually punch each other and they just land
yeah we're not doing that Um Be more specific
About exactly
What method
You want us to pull up
Like what do you want
I don't get it
Do you want me to
Come over to your house
And we like
Hang out
What do you want
Do you want me to
Read you my notes
Cause I
I watched your
Your thing
Pull up to the studio
Do you want to come in
And we can go over
The notes together Oh sure Come on in and we can go over the notes together?
Oh, sure.
Come on in.
Sure.
There we go.
Who it is that you are.
So and so, criticize your comment just so you know that.
Oh, say my name, you fucking pussy.
Everybody knows who I am.
You big-leaguing fuck.
It's not that hard to say.
There's no FRs in it.
I know you could do it.
Come on, Eric.
Say my fucking name.
Come on, bro.
It's not hard.
He's worried people will find your review.
He doesn't want them to, he doesn't want them to see it.
Ah, okay.
Both defended terrible people and cuties as well.
Okay.
Don't surprise me that bad faith actors have weird takes uh you i still am not saying that to animate my tree again this year potentially i don't think
you haven't seen that movie either cuties i don't want to see it all right that's it that's it we're
a bunch of weirdos it doesn't surprise me it doesn't surprise me they have a weird taste uh
they defend cuties that doesn't surprise me at least we can me They have a weird taste They defend cuties That doesn't surprise me
At least we can name
Media we've seen
I don't
I've never heard this guy
Talk about anything
He's watching or reading
I don't think he is
Yeah
Okay
If you're gonna make a
I'm gonna make the argument
That if you're making comic books
For the modern audience
Yeah
You need to watch
That Invincible show
On Amazon
At the very least.
Okay, here's Eggie.
He saw your rap and he's responding to you.
Yes, my famous.
Can we save this for next time?
I think we should save it for next time.
Let's save it for next time.
We're running long.
Yeah.
The famous Eggie response.
Well, guys, what a great show.
Don't forget to vote on biggestproblem.show.
And all our haters, if you want to step up.
Pull up.
Pull up and tell us to our face.
And get your penis out.
Yeah.
What?
If you want to show whose nuts are big.
You can find us at Eric July's booth.
Just say, check out my nuts, and we'll jump out of this.
We're hiding.
Wherever you see Eric July, we're hiding behind there.
And say, check out D's nuts.
Check it out. If you say the code word, there and say, check out D's Nuts. Check it out.
If you say the code word, hey, Eric, check out D's Nuts, we'll come out and give you money.
Okay.
I look forward to seeing his booth.
I wonder how much money he's going to spend on that.
Why is he not going to San Diego Comic-Con?
Isn't that coming up?
We'll pull up there.
We'll pull up.
Down by the LBC.
Do a Comic-Con in LA. Maybe we'll come out Down by the LBC Do a Comic Con In LA
Maybe we'll come out
I don't know
Yeah I'll come out
Yeah I'll come out
Get a picture
After I saw him too
I'll review it
Yeah
With a Megathon
You wanted to stand outside
Comic Con with signs
And say
I saw him kind of sucks
I saw him has a
Story structure
That a 5th grade teacher grade teacher did not enjoy.
The last episode just opened doors for me.
Like, a lot of times in conversations at work and shit, I will, like,
this, that, and the third, and talking about the show.
And then I got to explain, like, that's the show, Dick Masterson,
and then who the fuck's that?
And I go, well, I don't know, fucking 20 years ago, or whatever the fuck and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then,
and then, and then, and then, and then, credibility. I can say, ah, this fucking guy I know. Yeah.
This, that, and the third.
Don't say this, that, and the third.
That would knock.
Did you hear what he's saying?
This, that, and the third?
He said that at the beginning, too.
Did he?
Is that a phrase?
Well, he said it.
I mean, I get what he's...
Listen.
Holy shit.
That one caller on this last episode just opened doors for me.
Like, a lot of times in conversations at work and shit, I will like, this, that, and the third.
See?
This, that, and the third.
He said this, that, and the third twice.
That's interesting.
That's peculiar.
Maybe it's a regional dialect.
Have you ever heard someone say this, that, and the third?
I wouldn't be able to recall it if they did
Huh
Name to Vinny
Aha
Anyway
But he's saying that if you want shorthand
Yeah
You can now describe conversations had by me and Dick as
My friend
Yeah
Did this
And it cuts through all the bullshit
That's cool
Why don't you say this podcaster I listen to?
No, because that's...
Yeah, all right.
You can call us your friends.
Who cares?
Go vote up the homeless.
Man, people acting homeless is just such a huge problem.
Like, even if they're not homeless, it's just someone acting homeless.
Like, I'm at a restaurant with my girlfriend i love a big sign a little bit of a voice mr drunk
psychopath decides it's time to start shouting about how much money everything costs okay and
you know he's like a few Tables away from us
And he's just
Shouting and shouting
And everyone's just
Kind of like
You know
Doing the
Avoid eye contact thing
Because they don't want to
Trigger the rage
Of the insane drunk person
Oh he's drunk
And then
Okay
Okay
Buddy
You had a rough day
Don't fucking worry about it
Anytime you start a voicemail
And it's a minute 46
Just cut it just cut it.
Just cut it.
Guys, give us 30 seconds.
Minute maximum.
You don't need to sigh and set it up, okay?
Yeah.
Like you're doing your monologue at Juilliard.
There I was.
The restaurant.
Say the fucking problem right away and then go two weeks earlier.
This is not the biggest problem monologue corner.
It's not the moth
From now on
Honestly
If it's over a minute
Just like
Cut it
Just cut it
Cut it
It's too long
Alright
Here we go
30 seconds
Perfect
Baby
It's me
Ramsey Dangerfield
You might remember me
From when I got a sex change
My doctor
Vinny Boom Butts
When he was cutting off my penis
Yeah
He said to me
You're gonna feel a small prick Ramsey And I you're going to feel a small prick, Ramsey.
And I said, I've been feeling a small prick my whole life.
I get no respect.
No respect at all.
That's pretty good.
The other day, I got denied entry into the transgender bathroom.
That's it.
All right.
Don't feel my butt.
Oh, come on.
I was all excited for the punchline
Why did you call if you didn't have a fucking joke?
Write the jokes now
That was a good start
Well, at least you tried
I got denied entry and was changed into bathroom
They said you're too creepy even for us
Right?
Yeah
Alright
One more
I'm a big retard
Let's see what that
Hey Jake
Hey Vito
Biggest problem in the universe
Is me
Because I just realized
How many of my voicemails
You guys actually play
I bought the bonus episodes
And shit
Oh
Holy fuck
I'm either the biggest retard
Or you guys like
Bouncing off my
Terrible retarded
Content
Fucking shit
I'm giving you Could be both Anyway I love the show And I think it's really funny When I'm listening And I hear you guys like Bouncing off my Terrible retarded Fucking shit I'm giving you
Could be both
Anyway I love the show
And I think it's really funny
When I'm listening
And I hear you guys
Just start shitting on my opinion
It's actually
Really fucking funny
Yeah
Anyway
Well
Thanks for coming by man
I hate all your stupid opinions
If you've ever sent in a voicemail
That wasn't played
And you're not paying
For the bonus episodes
You may be missing out
On your brilliant appearance
on Biggest Problem
in the Universe.
Yep.
If you're not paying
for the bonus episodes,
you're already celebrating pride
because you are gay.
Sure.
Absolutely.
And we will have
our new biggest problem.
Celebrate pride
by not buying
the bonus episode
at patreon.com. Are we going to record today
or tomorrow? I don't know. Maybe tomorrow.
What do you think? I'm kind of tired.
I'm kind of tired too. All this Eric July
threatening me. I know. I've been
losing sleep. We're
trying to figure out exactly
how I'm going to pull up. Every
black guy with a homeless beard. I'm like,
is that Eric July?
Is that Eric July over there?
Sir, sir, sir. Can you write a narrative
real quickly? Yeah, like I got one
across the street. Okay, okay. Never mind. You're not
Eric July. You're just a black homeless
guy. Alright. Here's the
concept. We go down Skid Row,
find a guy who looks like
Eric July, and pay
him 20 bucks to give him us his
best idea for a comic book.
Pitch it to us on the spot and see how it sizes up.
I feel like they might do pretty good down there.
And what's his superpower?
The power to eat food.
Amazing.
He can afford things with money.
Wow.
That's cool.
Oh God.
Okay.
All right, guys. Well, thanks so much for everybody come by a coup for five
Thank you all my ho asses ends for not killing yourself
Over Eric July's weirdo fans and his boring poorly written and poorly drawn comic book. No, well drawn I hate the artists and do with it. I think the arts. Okay, it's uh, it's great. It has nothing to do with it I think the art's okay It's great
It has nothing to do with it
It's good
Okay
It's above average
Let's put it
For an indie comic book
I have no idea
For an indie comic book
I have no idea
The art is very good
I'm not looking at the art at all
Yes
And I'm kind of the same way
I think the art is good
He hired a good artist
And a great colorist
Gabe El-Tayib
Another guy who hates me
Gun Ranger For a big $20 Wow good he hired a good artist and a great colorist gabe el taib another guy who hates me uh gun
ranger for a big 20 wow these comic guys use in indie like it's a synonym for anti-woke
they never bring up boom or valiant because they really just want to work on big budget marvel dcip
their own comics are just as stale and generic only a money grab yeah they all just want to
make their own wolverine Batman or Conan or something.
Well, but they want to work for one of the big labels.
That's why they don't mention the smaller labels.
Yeah.
Right?
Like, they're not like, we're going to help a small label.
They're just like, fuck Marvel, me.
Like, invest in me.
Like, why don't you help the other little guys who've been Trying to challenge The big guys For a long time
Indie comics have always existed
They think it's like
A new thing
Yeah
Or they think like
That the indie guys
Who do exist
Is like well they're just
Part of the problem
We're the real ones
We got a comic
About a black guy
Who walks around town
Getting beat up
It's like
And aggressing people
Yeah and being
Confronting security guards
And not understanding
Why people are upset with him.
And running away from the cops.
And getting thrown through the air into a lady for no reason.
Hot bod kebab for 7,000 yen.
70 bucks?
What do I say?
How do you say thank you in Japan?
Arigato?
Is it arigato?
I think it's arigato.
Is it I'm a queer mom? Domo arigato, yeah. Thank you.
Uh-huh. For some reason I thought that was
an apology. They have a million apologies
in Japan. Thank you for the
Japanese money. I don't know how to apologize in any
language.
Okay. Not even English.
No language. Well, you better learn
because we're going to have to apologize to Mr. July
when we meet him at the Dallas Comic Con for some reason. Because we're going to have to Apologize to Mr. July When we meet him at the
Dallas Comic Con
For some reason
I'm not going to fucking
I'm not going to pull up
In Dallas
I don't know if he meant
Us specifically
That's like Mordor for you
Yeah
There's way too many
Black guys for me to go
Hassling you
Super black man in Dallas
Alright
Yeah
If we're going to be
Hassling anywhere
It's going to be in like
Wisconsin or something Actually it's going to be Inling anywhere It's gonna be in like Wisconsin or something
Actually it's gonna be
In Juarez
That's where me and my
Lokes are gonna sit around
Fucking tattooing
Old English
On each other
Maybe our fans
Can roll up on him
And ask him
What his current thoughts
Are on our
Delightful podcast
Goldilocks
For a big 9.99
I have genuinely
Gotten the same feeling of listening
to this show as I did when I first discovered another one with a certain Armenian. I can't
wait every week for it. I will be buying Vito's comic after this. Guys, go to Indiegogo. Super
killer. Right now at $42,000. Really? As Eric July's people have said That means it is worse than ISOM
Because it raised less money
And that is how quality works
Sadly it will not be of the quality of ISOM
Man they're obsessed with money
They're just obsessed with it
Here's a weird thing you'll notice about Eric July
He's constantly talking about his warehouse
Where all the comics are stored
And like packing orders and shipping
orders and whatever else and i'm like oh these guys just have like a weird fetish for like
commercialism and commerce oh that's interesting just like a guy selling stuff is more important
to them than art yeah because you don't want to outsource your fulfillment he doesn't he he set
up all warehouse your time is worth more than that.
Well, it should be, but I don't know how he has any time to do anything.
But, yeah, they're really obsessed with his warehouse and how, you know, packing things and shit.
Chile and Chile for five.
It's like a deadliest catch, but shittiest comic.
Honestly, if they made a shipping comics thing, I think all these kids would watch it as a reality show.
Chile and Chile for five.
Oh boy, another wild week for the boys.
Vito should make a diss track against Ice Summer, Eric July.
Oh wait, wait, I had this thing.
Hold on.
Oh God, what?
Hold on.
Let me get, because he keeps calling me Buster Baxter.
Oh, Buster.
Is this funny?
Why is he calling you Buster?
I don't know
He said I have a big head
Well, that's true
Does Buster have a large head?
Buster
Yeah, you tell me
Why?
You tell me
Look at his head, Vito
Yeah, yeah
This is a fucking
This is a five million dollar head, Vito
Buster, were you critiquing
This nice black man's comic book?
I was pulling up. You were pulling up?
I was pulling up. I could do his wife
600 times. I'm a rabbit,
bitch.
Let me look for rap beats. Rap beats.
Free
rap beats. Hold on. Just click that first one
right there. Is that royalty free, though?
I don't know. It doesn't matter.
Wait.
No, it's not a rap beat. It will be.
Uh, can you rap to that?
I have to rap to it? No, I wrote
rap lyrics. I got chat GPT
to write me rap lyrics. Hold on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like that, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yo, listen up, I got a story to tell
about a dude named Buster Baxter.
Ringing the bell.
He's a comic book critic straight up with no filler.
Reviewing bad comics, making authors shiver.
Buster steps in with his eyes on the page.
Unleashing his rhymes with a lyrical rage.
He dives deep into the panels.
No holds barred.
Analyzing the flaws.
Catch him off guard.
Buster Baxter, The king of the critiques
Reviewing bad comics
Bringing the heat
He triggers the author
With his words so slick
Unleashing the truth
Making him feel sick
Yeah
He flips through the pages
Ready to dissect
The stories that miss
The art that's erect
Buster's got the power
To shake up the scene
He's a comic book guru
Keeping it clean
With his wit so sharp, he exposes the flaws
No mercy for the artists who break the laws
It ain't about hate, it's about making them grow
Constructive criticisms, helping them to show
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Is that funny?
Should I read more of this thing?
I don't know if you're on beat
I don't know how to do it
I need like a deeper beat
I need one that doesn't have a Nike
Hold on.
Hold on.
Rap beat.
Free style.
I think you need to find the beat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait.
This one has money burning.
It's the same guy.
Listen to it.
Oh, yeah.
I'm the Buster Baxter.
The king. That's too slow. You're the Buster Baxter. The king of...
That's too slow.
You're better at this than me.
Here, let me hear you do it.
Yo, listen up.
I got a story to tell
about a dude named Buster Baxter
ringing the bell.
He's a comic book critic
straight up with no filter.
Reviewing bad comics
make an author shiver.
Buster steps in
with his eyes on the page
unleashing his rhymes
like a lyrical rage.
He dives deep in the panels no holds barred analyzing the flaws catching them off guard. Buster steps in with his eyes on the page, unleashing his rhymes like a lyrical rage. He dives deep in the panels,
no holds barred, analyzing the flaws,
catching them off guard. Buster Baxter,
the king of critiques.
Reviewing bad
comics, bringing the heat. He triggers the
authors with his words so slick, unleashing
the truth, making them feel sick. He flips
through the pages, ready to dissect the stories
that missed. The author's a wreck. Buster's
got the power to shake up the scene. He's a comic book guru, keeping it clean. With his sharp wit, he exposes the flaws. Oh! What? Yeah!
Yeah!
Biggest!
Biggest!
Biggest!
Biggest!
Biggest!
Biggest!
Biggest!
Biggest!
Biggest! Biggest! He triggers the authors with his words so slick, unleashing the truth, making them feel sick. The authors still threaten their egos in flame, but Buster ain't bragging that he's not playing games.
He's calling out mediocrity and lifting the bar, pushing the boundaries, raising the bar.
They might get triggered, but it's part of the grind.
Buster's got speak up, he ain't leaving behind.
His passion for comics is burning his soul, giving bad books a shake, making them rock and roll.
Buster Baxter, the gang of crit. Reviewing bad comics, breaking the heat.
He are tricking the others, making him slick.
Unleashing the truth, making him feel sick.
Dick literally broke a sweat.
Rhyming.
Your sweat is pouring.
Wow.
Hitting him hard.
Man, you're good at that.
Chad GPT is good at that,
I gotta say. Oh yeah, I said Chad GPT
write a rap about, from Buster
Baxter, from Arthur. You don't even have to write
rap anymore. This is just literally
good.
This is like
Buster Baxter, the king of critiques, reviewing
bad comics, bringing the heat.
Yeah, it's funny. Triggering authors with words
so slick,leashing the truth
Making them feel sick
That's hot
Alright
Fuck rap's fucked
We're all fucked
It's all AI now
Yeah but you had
You had to make it
Like sound good
I didn't know
How it was supposed to sound
Well you just gotta
Find the rhythm
You gotta go
Yeah but no
But now they can even
AI generate the fucking voice
I just never rapped before
You're gonna learn
No We're gonna make you A seasoned rappsman Then I'll be smoking crack In no time Yeah, but now they can even AI generate the fucking voice. I just never rapped before. You're going to learn.
No.
We're going to make you a seasoned rappsman.
Then I'll be smoking crack in no time.
I'm going back to Africa.
I want to know if they're- The song Africa, not the country Africa.
You're going to go to Norfrica.
It's the rains down.
Yeah, that I can do.
Lemon Trashy for two
If you're so smart
Why ain't you pull up?
Good point
Good question
Hot Bod Kebab for two Japanese dollars
Says I wanted to call to prayer
But I forgot the message
Well he did donate
You messed up
You gotta do it again
Yeah you gotta do it again
Doesn't count if you forget the message
You're grandfathered into the next one
Vito's hats are always fire.
What's your shirt?
I don't even know.
This is from Into the AM.
Use promo code VITOYT to save 10% off your Into the AM order.
What?
Into the AM?
Into the AM is a t-shirt apparel retailer.
Josh Denny loves their shirts.
Into...
Oh, is it for Husky Gentleman? No, it's for everybody.
IntoTheAM.com? Yeah, they're the
ones I tried to get to sponsor our show
and they said $25 an episode.
I was like, well, that's not... Well, so now we did it for free.
Fucking great. Could have been... We could have got
$25. I get $300
every time I... Well, when I do a video.
I didn't get anything for that.
Britsman for two. Thanks for not Q-tipping
yourself. You're welcome welcome Petty for ten
Has a flying bird man
Cool, thanks
Fantastic
Lolno for five
Vito, I've been playing
Flesh and Blood a lot
The last few weeks
With my buddy Slant
Your Slant buddy
Jesus
Phil Ayaschos
Is he an Asian gentleman?
With my buddy Slant buddy?
I think he meant
Yeah, I don't know
Buddy slash buddy?
Buddy slash buddy
You guys should try it.
I've seen Flesh and Blood, and I'm sure it's fun.
I mean, I just don't have time for another card game.
Pop quiz for $9.99 puts a yellow duck.
Like a demon.
Yeah.
Looks satanic.
Solid BM for 10 says, drunk goat here.
I was surprised Eric talked to me.
He should not have even cared about my opinion,
but decided to call me a pussy.
Lol.
I think Vito will win this comics war.
Well,
it's funny that I was like,
people are like,
you're just trying to sell your comic by fighting with Eric July.
And I'm like,
well,
not at first,
but he's kind of making it too easy now that all these like fans are going,
your comic looks like shit.
Fuck you.
And I'm like,
well,
now I want to prove you wrong.
It's kind of becoming a thing. I know he'll say, Oh, I'm not starting a you. And I'm like, well, now I want to prove you wrong. It's kind of becoming a thing.
I know he'll say, oh, I'm not starting a war.
And it's like, yeah, but all your fucking stupid fans are, man.
Yeah, I've read the draft.
I don't want to, like, poison people one way or the other.
I've read your draft.
It's better than his product.
Yeah.
You had some critiques that we're going to hammer out.
That's all I do.
I have critiques.
That's what I do.
They're not all right, but that's what they are.
Dick's notes were very solid.
JJ for five.
Reminder that 75% of people who like ISM haven't read a single page.
I saw a guy respond to him saying, I can't wait for your next campaign because I don't
want to open any of the three copies I bought from you that are signed.
Good.
Done.
And I'm like, so you're buying the next comic and you didn't even read the first all right man why don't you crack one
of them open and just read it and make sure you like it yeah just make nfts just make nfts
at least then the scam is clean and efficient and it's over. Oh, God.
Anyway, LPDirtyT for $4.99.
Thank you for building the brick house.
You now live in Eric's head rent-free.
Also, thanks for not killing yourselves.
Thank you.
Danny Fist for $5 Australian dollars.
Your hair looks nice, Dick.
You should give some to Vito.
I could use it.
Thanks.
Derek Juneteenth for $5 Australian dollars. Your criticism of Isom is wrong because you look like a cartoon rabbit from a cartoon where the aardvark
does not look like an aardvark.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Busta.
Busta.
Busta Rhymes.
Busta Rhymes.
Busta Rhymes.
I'll pull up your nuts, bitch.
Wait, he's like this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I gotta be real.
Yo, where's Jasmine?
She's on my fucking jock, bitch. Yeah, I'm knocking her up, yeah, yeah. I mean, I got to be real. Yo, where's Jasmine? She's on my fucking jock, bitch.
Yeah, I'm knocking her up, bitch.
Yeah.
It's a clever reference.
I just really can't connect you to Buster Baxter of all things.
He's the guy that says, wait, he's the guy that says, who would do that?
Go on the internet and tell lies.
I think that's why.
Did Buster do that in an episode of Eartha?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was the one lying.
I think he's on that meme. Right. He's on that meme. Who would do that In an episode of Arthur Yeah yeah yeah He was the one lying I think
He's on that meme
Right
He's on that meme
Who would do that
Go on the internet
Would someone do that
Go on the internet
And tell lies
I know what you're
Talking about
Yeah
But Buster wasn't
The one telling lies
He was the one
Criticizing the act
Of telling lies
I don't know
I don't watch Arthur
Well I'm thinking
If he should
I watch Babar
I was a coy
No I didn't watch coy
Goldilocks for $4.99
Tim's music is just bad punk
But at least close to listenable
Eric couldn't even make one page
That was coherent besides maybe the title
That's true
But Tim's music is torture
It's all torture
I saw him as funny
I saw him as so bad it's funny
Tim Pool's music is not funny
Wouldn't it be like interesting if the parallel economy had, like, something really good?
And you're like, wow, maybe this will work.
Yeah, like a new bank.
Yeah.
Not just a bunch of shitheads that can't do stuff.
Not just YouTuber vanity projects.
That's all they have.
It's bizarre.
Mega Man for five.
Dan Boingo has a podcast on Rumble, though.
Peter Thiel's scam to make $500 million.
And do a Ron DeSantis fucking super pack by paying off a bunch of influencers to not shit on him.
It's the parallel economy, Dick.
What are you going to do?
Megaman for five.
Eric, so unbothered by your criticism that he's been replying TBF to random people all week on Twitter.
The N-word, the N-word, the N-word the n-word the n-word thank you mega man autonomous prime for five had a chat with
eric where i pointed out you asked nina the same question if she read the book kind of stopped
being pissy at me after that she read it she said it sucked well not i mean she said it in the nicest
way that it sucks yeah if if a woman Ever reviewed anything I did like that
I would
Cut my dick off
Well you know
Here's my review
Wow
I really appreciate
All the effort
You put in
Stop right there
Alright
Where do we start
Dick
Solid BM for five
I hope Super Killer
Is better than I saw him
I don't care if it's bad
But I hope it's not worse
I bought both A and B covers
I think
I can already tell you it's not worse.
I think it's better. It's even the draft I read.
By my standards, I
like it better. It has what I think
is a pretty concise little arc. It doesn't
tell you like, and maybe next episode
you'll find out who he is. It's like, no.
It's like, you're going to get it.
Jake Lover, $4.06.
For $10, Vito, I know you got a lot
of heat for crying. Never happened.
But don't feel bad.
I cried re-watching Cowboy Bebop.
Of course, I did it alone in my room where thousands of people couldn't see me.
No, I teared up at some Cowboy Bebop.
That show, probably the last episode is pretty intense.
When his wife gets shot?
No, that's the second to last episode.
I think. Maybe it is the last episode. that's the second to last episode I think
Maybe it is the last episode
When's the last episode?
Last episode is where he goes back to where it all began
Making stir fry
That one
When he has that conversation with Faye in the hallway
And she's like don't go
That was some good storytelling
Don't shit on the final episode
Of Cowboy Bebop
You motherfucker
It's so weird
Watching art from a culture
Where the women don't
Like talk constantly
Yeah
It's interesting
Yeah it's amazing
It's fantastic
And then they made
An American version
Where the woman
Just won't shit
Look at how fat I am
Autonomous Prime for five
Eric wants to monetize his haters
But instead of doing that with Dick
He keeps him nameless
And keeps pissing his pants ranting
Yeah I don't think he's making a lot of money
Off this monetizing us
I don't know why he wouldn't say my name
He's really deathly afraid of promoting anyone inadvertently
Like that's us getting one over on him
If he mentions our name or our podcast
yeah but eric july's fans are fucking retarded yeah like they're they all have weird levels of
autism dude all their profile pictures are them holding the comic those people like is that all
you care about please don't mention me i mean i don't want to mention but they're fucking weird
if you come into my my twitter mentions and your your avatar is literally you holding the isom
comic to your chest like a baby it's like okay we don't need to have a conversation i already know
that you have formed a disturbing parashosal bond with this guy Who we did discover has a $99 A month super mac
Club where you can get
Access to exclusive Eric July wallpapers
And AMA sessions and whatever the fuck else
He's not even like muscular
Like if you're gonna mac
You gotta be more muscular than that I think
I bet I could
Live more than Eric July
I bet I could bench more than him
I think that's possible
How tall is he? I don't know I bet I could live more than Eric July. I bet I could bench more than him. I think that's possible.
How tall is he?
I don't know.
I mean, he's the Michael Jackson of comics.
Does he have the same height?
Ask Eric how much he can bench.
I bet I could bench more than him.
That's interesting.
Someone ask him that in his next chat and don't tell him it comes from us because he'll call us haters and crack smokers.
How much do you bench, Eric?
You're so powerful.
Phrase it exactly like that.
John Refs for five says,
I'm glad you guys liked my ISOM review.
I did like it.
Yeah, it was great.
I'm now maiming ISOM number one with GIMP
into a decent story, having a lot of fun.
I think I have brain damage.
Yeah, you do.
Both of your reviews were hilarious.
I'll post them again.
I think you could salvage that book
by cutting out like 90% of it and changing all the dialogue.
Derek Juneteenth for Five Australian.
A critique of media is not valid unless you consumed it.
Unless it's cuties for some reason.
Also reading ISOM doesn't mean your critique is valid.
Good point. Good point.
Cuties is the devil.
As we pointed out to everybody, they're going, well, Dick said it sucked before he read it.
And I go go have you been
on eric july's channel all he does is take marvel comics and movies and tv shows that he has not
that he admits he has not watched read or consumed and goes look at this leftist bullshit
fucking woke garbage we got here that's a good impression I want to roll up on the thing about when these haters come at you.
And they come at me saying I need to be, I got to roll up on you.
That is a pretty good Eric July.
A little note for five.
So vote it up with all your might and sleep well knowingly you did what's right.
For if you don't, I'll kill your family tonight.
Wickedron for Canadian $11.
Vito, thanks for not killing yourself.
Screw Eric Jelan, his super fragile ego.
Guess he's now realizing not everyone will gobble his rod.
I'm also buying your comic.
Let's go.
I think he, yeah, I don't know how self-aware he is.
I think he really thinks that, like, everyone's on his side.
He thinks he's a good writer.
Yeah. And he thinks he's a good writer. Yeah.
And he thinks it's easy.
Well,
maybe he just thinks he's like God's gift to writing.
Like he's a natural writer.
Um,
I think all these,
all these guys have also convinced themselves that the only thing wrong with
entertainment is that it's woke.
So as long as there's nothing woke in the story,
it's automatically good. And it's like, no, there's way more to it than that story. Yeah. Yeah, as long as there's nothing woke in the story. It's automatically good And it's like no there's way more to it than that story. Yeah, I was on deaf noodles
Podcast okay, and he brought this fight up. Yeah, I was like explaining like well
Yeah, you know I mean, you know Hollywood
No
It's like you know what it's like to get a script noted like yeah format that it's in and exactly what it goes through and
Like the character motivations and the questions for it uh and then i was i was wondering when i was
saying it um did these guys did they think star wars is bad because it's bad as a story or because
it like has a woman in it or a black guy like why do they think star wars is bad i know why it's bad
because the story sucks well that's because's... Because it's missing, like, motivation,
character arc,
challenges,
like, it's missing
all the same stuff
I said is missing
from Iso.
That's been my entire thing
is that they go,
yeah, you hate all that
feminist bullshit
in Star Wars 2, right?
And I go,
no, I hate that
the story sucks.
Like, that's the problem.
They go, yeah,
but if we just took
all the women out of it, I'm like, no, that's... I would like that, but that's not gonna Yeah but if we just took all the women out of it
I'm like no that's
I would like that but that's not going to make it good
No yeah and that's what it's become
Is that there's like a certain group of people
There's this one guy who critiqued
The new uh the James Bond movie
Where he dies or whatever at the end
Horrible movie
But his critique is
You tell how the story doesn't work
Or whatever else
Why you can't put James Bond
With a child
Because then all of a sudden
The bad guys are no longer
Doing their worst
Like they're like
Nerfing everything
And James Bond is like
Now afraid
And you don't want
James Bond to be afraid
Right
He can't jump off a building
Like with his fingers crossed
With his fucking daughter
Sitting there
See
It's not James Bond anymore
That's a good critique
There's this guy named
God what's his name
Doomcock
And his review literally reads like a
KKK rally speech
Where he goes
This is Hollywood trying to cuck old white men
Taking white heroes
And having them emasculated
And destroyed
And I'm like
No that's not what it is man
That's not why.
That's not the problem.
Hollywood just hates white men.
And I'm like, well, some of them do, and that is a problem.
But that's not the specific problem here.
Anyway, the saucy slurp.
Yeah.
For five, when will you get Cardiff Electric on this dick show?
Do we need more potato?
Tell them to call into my show this Sunday.
We'll have Cardiff on.
Janie cat for 11
Canadian hello strong bad and strong
Said I want to decide if I should vote
Up or down for boycott of the week
Can we get a refresher on bud stock
But stock is down they've maintained
The boycott maybe
I mean who knows it's all it could also
Just come back up well you know what drives me
Nuts about the bud light thing is
All of their numbers come from, like, this one liquor marketing company.
No, all of their, like, sales figures come from one company.
It's like they're down 80%, like, from butt-foe middle stocks, like, marketing.
Let me look it up.
Hold on.
They always quote it.
I mean, does anyone care anymore, though? Like, it's always quote it I mean Does anyone care anymore though?
Like it's
It's always
It's not Bud Light saying
Holy shit
We didn't sell
It's one marketing company saying
Our analytics
Tells us this
I'm
Yeah of course it does
I'm willing to say
That maybe the conservatives
Uh
Finally achieved
A successful boycott
Well Kid Rock did
Yeah maybe
Yeah
Maybe
Yeah we'll see The thing is You can't celebrate After two days Yeah Now you can kind of achieved a successful boycott. Well, Kid Rock did. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Maybe.
Yeah, we'll see.
The thing is,
you can't celebrate after two days.
Now you can kind of,
honestly,
if you want to go out now
and say we did it,
I'm totally okay with it.
All right?
So what did you win then?
What do you get out of it
is the other question.
There's no more trans people
on the beer.
You're drinking Coors now?
Well, I'm sure you saw that Modelo is now the number two beer which is also owned by anheuser-busch
Outside of America it is but no inside of but who fucking cares
I also wonder if people are really gonna keep this up or if after a while they're gonna go, you know
I just kind of like Bud Light and it's over. So who cares?
We'll see Anthony Alicia for five. Chrissy doesn't need to be cancelled
For being racist
She needs to be cancelled
For being a horrible comedian
Oh that's
How could you say that
About the great Chrissy Mayer
Horrible
Sorry but she is really bad
No we love her
P90X plus DVD
I don't know what my relationship
With Chrissy Mayer is anymore
I think it's a respectful disrespect
You know
No you're just
You have an issue with people
I don't like her Satan stuff She's one of these people Talking about Satan full disrespect, you know? No. You're just, you have an issue with people.
I don't like her Satan stuff. She's one of these people talking about Satan. Stop
it. Yeah, but it's a woman.
It doesn't excuse it.
Any one of these broads who goes out
and is actually
worried about the existence
of the dark lord Satan.
Uh-huh. Okay, I can be
friendly. Is she really on about Satan?
Yes! She said it in the studio.
I asked, do you genuinely
believe? And she's like, yeah, I'm Catholic, and I
genuinely believe. Catholics don't believe
in Satan. Well, they shouldn't!
They shouldn't.
Okay, but I can be friendly. She's a comedian.
She's Italian, though, isn't she?
Some Italians take the Catholicism seriously.
Some parts of my family take that whole religious shit seriously.
All right, maybe I was wrong.
I don't know.
So when I see that, I have to go, okay, you drive me nuts.
That shit drives me nuts.
Yeah.
But I don't wish harm on her.
She can have a fuck.
She has fun with everybody else, so that's great.
Just don't talk about Satan.
Yeah. Or don't talk about Satan Yeah
Or don't do anything
Satan-y
Well
Everything that's Satan-y to them
Is like being gay
Or
Celebrating it
For any reason
So
P90X plus DVD rip
Hindi subs
For five
People pretending not to get things in general
Is the biggest problem
I know Vito will eject
But it wouldn't hurt to stream
On that other platform
It's hard to set up
Multiple streams Maybe we could You want to multi-stream the show? Yeah it's not hard I stream On that other platform it's hard to set Up multiple streams maybe we could you want to
Multi-stream the show yeah it's not
Hard I could do that all right if people really want it from
To be nice try
Yeah he made his
Name the phrase
Five dollars what do you guys think of major sports
Leagues changing their twitter pics for pride
Month then changing them back one day later
Due to backlash I gotta look into that I
I don't know.
It's funny.
It is funny if that's actually what's happening.
MLB did that, I think.
They might actually tank Pride Month.
Like, it's actually, they're kind of getting what they want.
It's like, we want to destroy the gays and make it unprofitable to associate with them.
I mean, I don't know if the gays Really benefited from like MLB having a rainbow flag
Yeah I don't know
It has all
Always been marketing
For white women
And now it's like
Uh oh
Well maybe it just is
That unpopular
But it is exposing
The hypocrisy of pride month
Where all these corporations
Are like
We love gay people
Oh you guys don't like
Gay people anymore
We never liked gay people
We fucking hate them too
And it's like
Alright well at least now We've seen through the facade I just don't care Like guys don't like gay people anymore we never liked gay people we fucking hate them too and it's like all right well at least now we've seen through the facade i just
don't care like i don't care what they they should um they should just change their logo to white and
blue you know for what i don't know just cool colors they should make it yellow and blue what's
for what for our boys in ukraine fighting every day. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
My flag that got ripped down.
But oh, gods, for two.
Somebody saw the upside down news.
Just make it green for money.
Yeah, donuts.
All right, that's better.
$2.
Who took criticism better, Eric July or Maddox?
They're identical.
They're really identical.
I wrote a full, like an issue of Black Maddox,
the man who was never wrong, as a comic.
I don't know if I'll work on it more or make the art for it,
but I did write it.
You've got to see if AI can make some comic panels for you.
Yeah, I'll try.
Maybe I'll get a Fiverr to do it.
Lemon Trashy for five European dollars.
If the audience is interested in watching Eric July's Meltdown,
search for Clip Sama.
I spent so much time editing out him angrily squinting at the chat.
I'll play more on my show.
Fantastic.
David March for 550 Canadian.
Good David March.
My poker buddy.
Vito, have you heard of Chris Gore's Critics Court?
He's trying Disney for killing Star Wars.
Surprise, you're not one of the plaintiffs.
I have seen screenshots of that.
I have not watched it.
Michael Winning for $4.99
at USD. What happened to people on the
internet? Everyone's so serious now. Simple jokes
break people. Dick with Eric July.
Chrissy, trolling is an
art. I agree.
Mint Salad for $20 says, I drew some Pride Month
fan art for Ice Home and posted it on my
Twitter. Really? That's going to piss them off. Wait, no, no for 20 says, I drew some Pride Month fan art for Isom and posted it on my Twitter. Really?
That's going to piss him off.
Wait, no, no.
She says, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Read the next part.
It's not safe to show on YouTube.
Well, okay, okay.
It's very prideful.
What's Mint's Twitter?
It was Titsmintsalad.
I don't know if she had to.
No, now it's Autistic Boobs.
Sorry.
I think she got banned.
Yeah.
Show Isom.
Let's see.
Everyone should draw some Isom Pride Month fan art
Here, everybody go to my Twitter
It's there
Tudor.com slash Dick Masterson
That's some pride
Wow
Oh no Why do I get the feeling Dick Masterson. That's some pride. Wow. Oh, no.
Why do I get the feeling I'm going to get in trouble for this?
Oh, shit.
I got to do like a, let me quote.
What should I say to that?
I don't know what you say.
Happy Pride Month.
Happy Pride Month, Isom.
Happy Pride Month.
Let's just say that Eric DeJuly has Eric D. July, has assumed the heroic pose of
being on his knees.
Happy Pride Month.
Always be on your knees for the
Lord or something like that. Happy Pride Month,
Eric July. Happy Pride Month
is enough. He got it. He nailed it.
Isom is on his knees satisfying
a certain portly bearded gentleman
With a bunch of Q-tips
Scattered around on the ground
To really
You look at how angry he looks
Yeah Isom's not happy about what's happening
So what I'm the jerk
Cause I tweeted that
I guess so
I'm just trying to boost a young artist
You should step up man
You gotta step up and go to Dallas.
What a nightmare.
I hope I don't lose any friends.
Or money-making opportunities.
The fucking popularity contest that the internet has become.
You got to support everybody.
Well, not if they suck.
I don't want to lose access to anyone's audience
If it sucks
Shouldn't we value people who can like
Just say something sucks when it sucks
No
No they all just want everyone to suck everybody off
And thankfully we now have art to represent that scenario
Claptrap the Destroyer for five
I suck other men should be the new June mascot
I agree
Chief Slinginging beef for five
Vito are you cool with school choice
And using the allotted tax dollars used for schools
That parents choose
I.e. a tax voucher for high school or private school
You mean like the amount of money
They would have spent on your child
Giving it to you to educate your child otherwise
Yeah
Wouldn't parents just take that money and buy a car?
Like I don't think they're gonna
So you're not
You don't want to give them the money
You have to give them a voucher specifically
For a school
You're fine with that?
I think private schools are fine
Yeah I can't stop you
It's America
Educate your kid however you want
You can stop them
You just
Educate
He's asking you what you're allowing.
Do you want to give people a voucher
and they can go to another school
and use it? Is that okay?
And you give them the money?
I'd have to think about it.
You'd have to think about that? They have to go to
a charter school. Here's your voucher
and you have to go to a registered
entity that has registered with the government.
The state has made sure that the education standards are up to code. Up to public school standards. voucher and you have to go to a registered entity that has registered with the state and the state
has made sure that the education standards are up to code up to public school standards yeah fine
yeah as long as there's some amount of like oversight and they're not going to like scientology
mystery college well why is that why is that bad sure send them to scientology mystery college i
don't care jj for two I think snails can't be trusted
Alright, none of it with snail and voting
We're not talking about that
No one's super chat about snail voting
I can't even say that
I know you can't
It's fucking dumb to have snails carrying around votes
I understand
It's fucking stupid
I understand
There's so many better ways to do voting than fucking snails
Yeah, alright Who fucking snails.
Yeah.
All right.
Who do snails even want to win?
I got it.
I understood.
The concept.
I'm there with you.
Okay.
Moving on.
Goldilocks for $9.99.
I vividly remember.
Shut up.
I know you want to say more.
Just shut up. I know you want to say more. Just shut up. I vividly remember Dick
explaining the OJ bit to Vito
before, after he got the strike
for it. Are we sure Dick was the one who got
assaulted? It's been a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shut up. Antagonist for five. Ozempic has
been shown to not just cut down on fat, but you also
lose twice as much in lean muscle
mass. You better start working out, bud.
Thanks for not killing yourself. Absolutely. He's got on some
steroids. Yeah, well, I would love to get those
as well. TheRealHydroPX for five.
When will you guys make a locals and post some wife
pics like Nick Riccata? Ouch.
David Gomez for two. When we get married.
Yeah, when we have a lady
to show off. David Gomez for two.
If I lose 30 pounds, I lose 60 in
muscle. Fake news. That sounds...
Yeah, I don't know about that.
SpiderEternal for five. Why do Vito's notes have a giant meat tube and sphere satchel?
Did I just fuck?
Oh, yeah, look.
You're holding up your notes and you drew a guy's cock.
I drew a cock.
Look.
Oh, wait, you can't show that on YouTube.
Well.
No, that got me fucking banned.
All right, all right.
There's nothing there.
Showing a fat guy.
I drew a picture.
By the way, it's my birthday this week.
I turned 40.
Thanks for not killing yourselves.
You're welcome.
Why does your notes have a guy's balls and cock, though?
I don't know.
I just drew a dick.
You never draw dicks?
It's funny.
Well, not on a guy.
Like, his whole body.
It's shooting like a little cum cloud.
We just looked at a picture of Isom sucking me off.
That's fine. Why can't I draw this?
A hot girl drew that. Alright, well sometimes
I draw penises because it's
fun. Yeah, but you drew the thighs and stuff
too. Well, I mean, it's
You drew the balls in a weird way. They're
like
I don't know how to draw testicles, okay?
Okay, look. That should be like that.
Now you're drawing it. Yeah, but I'm just doing
it to show you what you're doing. You're gonna give me notes? You're gonna give me notes? Yeah, look. That should be like that. Well, now you're drawing it. Yeah, but I'm just doing it to show you what you did wrong.
You're going to give me notes?
Yeah, look.
See, that's how there's a thing in the middle.
I'm drawing boobs, and I'm just not drawing nipples on them.
There's two balls.
Yeah, but you drew that one ball all the way up to his cock.
That makes no sense.
It's a fold of the skin.
All right.
Spider Eternal for five.
I already asked that question.
Happy 40th birthday.
Rusty Shackleford
For five
Jamie Foxx got crippled
By the magic liquid
Why did you vote for this veto?
That's unconfirmed
We don't know what happened
Who cares?
Yeah, who cares?
Who fucking cares
About any of this
COVID shit anymore?
It's exhausting at this point
Mr. Cool Ice
I love Mr. Cool Ice
For 20 big dollars
Thank you
I'm absolutely loving the drama
Keep it up, guys Thumbs up, Mr. Cool Ice It's not drama on my end I don you. I'm absolutely loving the drama. Keep it up, guys.
Thumbs up, Mr. Koulis.
It's not drama on my end.
I don't even, I'm doing nothing.
All I'm doing is sterilely critiquing a work of art,
and Eric Gilles totally melting down
and totally behaving in ways that are crazy and manic
and out of control.
I'm being totally normal and not doing any drama.
There's nothing coming from me. It's all from him. I'm being totally normal and not doing any drama.
There's nothing coming from me.
It's all from him.
I want to stop talking about it,
but literally I'm just getting like hundreds of notifications.
I didn't even want to start
talking about it.
That Rip A Goal Post fucking page
is talking about us every day
and posting videos from our show.
And that's just an Eric July alt account.
Eric July is just posting
as Rip A Goal Post.
I don't even want to be involved
in any of this drama.
He goes, well, that's not an official account.
I go, all your employees are literally on there responding to it
and retweeting it constantly.
It's clearly either someone you know or somebody you definitely approve of.
It's clearly you.
Well, it's something.
Matt M for five.
I hope Maddox teams up with Eric July on this fight.
I wouldn't put it past him.
Yeah, sure. Trap trap to the story for five. Eric's eyes with Eric July on this fight. I wouldn't put it past him. Yeah, sure.
Flap trap to the destroyer for five.
Eric's eyes look so watery in this stream.
Looks like me.
Peter Hansman for 550 Canadian.
Vito, please use the power of crying to convince Richard to do monthly Richard-tations.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we got to make it happen.
On the John for 11 big Canadian dollars.
My crowning achievement this week was triggering Eric July with, why are you spending so much time on these guys comment he was so mad he couldn't
bring up my profile to bully me yeah i couldn't find your profile that's all he does he digs
this guy look at this crack smoker all right we got it david gomez for two eric july going for
the safeway select brand mr t all right p90x P90X plus DVD for five. Always imagine
July would look like a distinguished gentleman.
Woof. Well, we're not going to
insult the man's looks. Come on. That's
beneath us. JLo for $4.99.
He looks like a hobo. Like a
homeless person. That's his look.
That's what they all look like now.
I used to feel sorry for
Eric and wanted you guys TBF to him,
but now I think Vito was right all along.
Much love, fellas.
Keep up the great show.
Cots for 10.
When discussing complex issues like Eric's wise, wonderfully composed comic,
it's crucial, TBF, with your approach to the—
Shut up.
You're all terrible at this.
Yeah, it's like an SAT question.
Yeah, come on.
Also, the basis of my attempt was CHBT, so F off.
If Vito doesn't F up, take my money.
Yeah, your attempt was terrible and it did not work.
Wet Bandit for 10.
Tardy drink refills.
Remind me of a waitress that served me a drink with no ice because it comes out cold as if
the drink won't immediately warm up to room temp.
She was tardy all right.
No ice in the drink.
Greedo, fail for two.
Eric July.
Eric, do cry. Greedo fail for two Eric July Eric do cry
J-Lo for two
Please tell him
Isom sucks to his face
And film it
Yeah if anyone sees
Eric July at the Comic Con
Go up and say
Hey I'm a huge fan
Psych
Your comic sucks
And record that
But you have to say
The compliment first
P90X plus DVD
For five
Follow up I literally picture I'll give you a Shawnee's NFT If you do that Oh a free Shawnee's NFT But you have to say the compliment first. P90X plus DVD for five.
Follow up.
I literally picture.
I'll give you a Shawnee's NFT if you do that.
Oh, a free Shawnee's NFT if you insult Eric July.
On camera, though.
On camera.
He says, I pictured an older black man that was a 40-year-old comic veteran.
This is a yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Did you picture a guy who looks like he You know Thinks a lot And is like introspective
And has a lot of
Thomas Sowell
On the poster behind him
Sowell
Thomas Sowell
When you think of famous writers
Do you think of
You know guys
Who just are out there
Picking fights
And yelling all the time
Or do you think of
Quiet introspective weirdos
Like me
Superkiller now available
On Indiegogo
Check it out at
Superkiller.org.
Rev for five.
Be careful when you pull up to Eric G.
Eli's comic book convention.
He might bounce off a wall at you, as is, I assume, his most powerful power.
Clap 99 for 10.
I really think it did make that money, but people wanted to support a black anti-woke
creator, and that's why so many people bought it to own the libs.
We've been owned, folks.
The libs have been owned.
P90X for two.
My brother already made his money.
Why are you so mad?
Jarek Juneteenth for two.
Pull up, pull up, push up, sit up, stop hiding.
Gear Tooth Cartoons for five.
Let's get a tag team match.
Eric and Isam versus Vito and Derek Superkiller Chauvin.
No.
To determine Isam number one's quality.
Red for five.
The reason he's so mad is he realized he will never make another $3 million campaign again,
and his ISOM number two numbers won't be even close.
I'm interested to see how well it does.
I don't know.
How long does the anti-woke marketing gimmick last?
At what point do people run out of money for anti-woke chocolate and beer?
Well, the economy sucks now.
Yeah.
And there's a lot of people In the anti-woke
Grift game now
Oh they're all fighting over
The same slice of the anti-woke pie
And he's like cranking out
A bunch of comics
Like at the same time
Like one after another
He's got three comics coming out
So rather than take the time
To learn how to write
One of them
Yeah
He's making three
At least he's hiring
Other people to write them uh with the cat
cara fro for 149 with a nice beautiful picture of a cat thank you cara the real hydro px5 veto
one will go to hedonism 2 nick ricada's favorite swinger resort i'd be down that sounds fun yeah
i'd go there i want to go on a cruise clap trap torap to Destroyer for five. Buster Masterson spitting facts.
Fahogods for two.
Scott Adams versus Eric July.
When?
I'd like to see that in this section of...
How would that play out, I wonder?
Oh, Scott.
Did Eric July even have three-fifths of a plot in his story?
Okay, Scott, come on.
That's terrible.
Oh, maybe I could solve the mystery of where did the fried chicken go.
Oh, Scott!
You just, come on, you just got canceled.
You got to ease up on this stuff.
You can't go full into this humor.
Oh, wow.
Oh, boy. A city with no bicycles, right? You can't go full into this humor Oh wow Oh boy
A city with no bicycles right
Is that what you got out of
I saw that's what I
Got what you think about watching you know a black
Man fight another black man in the
Parking lot
Where is this Oakland
$35 to see this
I could just watch
Look out my window
All right Scott Come on. I paid $35 to see this. I could just watch TikTok for free.
You know what I'm saying, Beto?
All right, Scott.
Well, I think you should support an independent black creator like Eric July.
You know, he's clearly doing a lot for the black community.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
How?
Well, you know, they've been devoid of such great black heroes,
and he's finally delivering, you know, an anti-woke hero.
He's inspiring young black men to not read, right?
He made it bad on purpose.
Wow.
So they stay away from books.
That Scott Adams is a card.
I tell you what.
Jared, dude, see it's for two.
Where's your Ripaverse cap?
I don't know.
I think it's in my car.
H-Punch for 10. A lot of Ripaverse cap? I don't know. I think it's in my car. Hpunch for ten.
A lot of woke media is also just bad
because they're vanity projects and cram their morals
into stories ham-fistedly. I mean, he literally
it's a guy living on a farm and like
away from the city. I'm like, I know
you're a libertarian. You don't want to deal with people.
I get it. Yeah, but he has a whole farm.
That's like the most dealing with, like that's
the most government subsidies you could have.
That's true. Being a farm.
And he's got that big Picture of him at the end
Wearing his taxation
His theft
Hat
I go you know what else
Is theft
Ask people to pay
Forty five dollars
For this
Yeah it's terrible
My girlfriend read it too
You know what the weird
Thing was
Is she's
She's reading it
And she's like
Saying things
Every single one of my
Notes she's like why the fuck would this be
Like I'm like I don't wanna
I'm not gonna interrupt
Afterwards
They're ditching laughs for grasps
Because they want respect
Well that's what it is folks
5 Australian Jar Jar Binks was as
Hated as he was he did not ruin
Star Wars as completely As the sequels
Poor writing is the problem
Yes
TBF for two
So close
Lol
Great show
Not close
Great show guys
Don't kill yourselves
DJ
For 20 Australian
Get John Zirka on
It's hard to get that guy
He's a busy guy
We'd love to get him on
He came on my show
I know but
He's crazy
He's hard to get back
I think he's doing everything
He's very famous now
Goldilocks for $9.99
I'll join Vito in the weight loss
I weigh almost 240
If I can't drop
Before 200
Before Vito loses his weight
I'll buy the biggest tier
For your comic
And even gift it
To someone else as well
Wow
Buy it first
And then charge back
If you lose the weight
No don't do a charge back
Do a refund
If you lose the weight
But buy it first
I think it would be A charge you lose the weight But buy it first I think it would be
A chargeback
Buy it first
Yeah buy it first
Come on vids
For $9.99
The snail population
Is growing
Oh god damn it
There were more snails
Counted in the state of
Arizona
Than the previously
Known amount
Snails coming out of
Coolers and suitcases
That's true
Snails
No
Snails could be
They could be
Live snails Or they could just be shells lying around.
Like, you don't know.
You could have a ton of snails.
They could be on the roof.
If we end up being a Rumble exclusive show, I'm going to blow my brains out.
I'm just.
And it's going to be your fault.
How are you not supposed to talk about snails?
I don't know.
But you need to figure out how to not talk about snails.
I'm sure you can think of a way.
Stop looking around for help.
Just stop it.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Tipster is here.
I don't know if that's the real Tipster.
How can you tell?
I don't know.
You got to go to his channel.
There's a lot of fake tipsters though
That's
That's the real tipster
What's up tipster
I told tipster he's gotta come on the show
He lives in California
Yeah come on the show
Tipster says
Gotta love when you're living rent free
In people's heads like that
People are obsessed
Oh I know all about that
And tipster is also living
In a lot of people's heads
Rent free this week
So uh Yeah it's a good review People's heads Rent free this week So uh
Yeah it's a good review
It's a good review
It means that you've
Made an impact on the world
Alex Poop
For ten dollars
Don't laugh at that
That's terrible
I call my girl
Sneeze
Cause that
Gazoon tight
That's pretty good
Rex Sexton
For ten
Vito
School choices
Okay
I don't care Thanks for the ten dollars There You Vito, school choices? Okay, I don't care. Thanks for the $10.
There. I'm not reading
any of that. I don't care.
If you, like, try to lecture
me on a political issue with your super chat,
I'm just not going
to read it. I don't care.
Finally, Ethan Van
Schuyver, comic artist pro secrets
for a big $20, says,
please review Cyberfrog.
Send it.
I will send a PDF.
I'll review anything.
Send it.
Dick will review it.
Ray J for five.
Eric's right.
I'm tired of seeing you two beef.
Okay.
You're doing the beef one.
I know.
You almost got you.
You almost got me.
Guys, biggestproblem.show.
Vote on all the problems.
Bonus episode.
Biggest Problem and Spider-Man will be coming soon, early next week.
Put up the list of our supporters, which I did not update because I didn't have time,
but it will be updated on the next show.
We love you all.
Not that one.
That's for crying only.
There it is.
We love you all.
Thank you so much for forming a parasocial relationship with all of us.
And we will be back next week with more exciting problems.
Why would you draw like so
It's like a cock
Like a whole full body
Like that you're looking at it
Like this is like
You draw a cylinder
Like a cylinder is a basic shape
And then eventually it just kind of becomes a penis
You draw a whole lower body around the cock that you drew
Well once you draw the penis
Why would you not draw the legs and the feet and the rest of it?
Because I'm straight.
If I'm drawing disembodied cocks, they're like...
Just cocks.
It's like the concept of a cock that I'm drawing.
It's like a totem.
You're drawing a guy.
You're drawing an actual guy.
You want disembodied cock, wants an actual body.
It's no longer a metaphor.
Now it's like a physical man.
I was just doodling. I'm just here with the pen, and the pen does what it wants. I'm an artist. It's no longer a metaphor. Now it's like a physical man. I was just doodling. It's just,
I'm just here with the pen and the pen does what it wants.
I'm an artist. I don't know, man. This is like
a reverse mermaid that I'm looking at.
Like with the fish head and the pussy lower
body. That's the level
of comfort I'm having from this. You don't have to look
at it. You can throw it out. It's just my notes. I
drew a dick on it and it's not a big deal.
Yeah, but you're just drawing it like out in the open.
Like these teachers talking about their
talking about their relationships with the kids. A kid could come
in here. Alright, well I would be a terrible teacher
because I'd probably be doodling dicks all the time.
Alright, goodbye everyone. Goodbye!