The Bill Bert Podcast - The Bill Bert Podcast | Episode 45

Episode Date: January 21, 2021

Bill and Bert prattle with Dean Delray about houses, the great Jeff Scott, and developing Bert's look.

Hey, what's going on everybody? It is time for another wonderful episode of the Bill Bert Podcast. With us today is just one of my favorite people in this business, great friend, love him to death. A brand ambassador for cool. Brand ambassador knows all the high end, all the custom made, anything you want this guy knows about. ACDC knows that when they have an album coming out, they go on to the Let There Be Talk podcast. He interviewed Brian Johnson and Angus Young, Phil Rudd,

and Cliff Williams. Four different interviews. ACDC fans went nuts, and it all came about because he does the Bon Scott tribute. Please welcome to the podcast the living L.A. legend, Mr. Dean Del Rey. What's going on? That's probably the best. What's it going to take for you to give up on L.A., Dean? what's it going to take for you to give up on it on la dean oh that's a that's a funny thing because you know people just keep coming you gotta

move right you're gonna move and it's like no i mean the only reason i would move is if i could buy something but it would be like up the street or something like that you know but uh i mean the more people that move the better for me i don't understand where people are going it's like you're still in the united states yeah it's like we're we're all in this together you can't just be like well california's fucked it's just like we're all kind of yeah i didn't open enough people leave that like you know it's it's you know how it is like around the holidays and everybody goes back east and they go home and you can actually drive around cruise around i hope it gets like that i hope it gets like that so the business is like well there's no one here so i guess we gotta call dean yeah you know what i mean when did you first come to you came first came to la as a musician yeah uh when i was 35 so i'm

about to be 55 next month when you were 35 yeah yeah really what wait where were you before that i grew up in the bay area i was in in San Francisco. I moved from San Francisco to L.A. At 35? I thought you were younger for some reason. Oh, no. I'm going to be 55 February 3rd. That's something I didn't know you weren't supposed to say in the comedy world. Tell your age. I always say my age.

So do I. I watched someone lie about their age one time, and they'd lie about their age in front of me and say they were younger than me. And I was like, the fuck, motherfucker motherfucker you're two years older than me well i always tell everybody my age to hopefully inspire them you know what i mean in a positive way of like holy shit that guy did it maybe it's not too late that's how i look at it you know that is an interesting way to say that because you you didn't start stand up until you were what 44 44 yeah and you've you've accomplished more in those nine years 10 11 years 11 years than the majority of people having 20 well 4767 spots i I think it's going to get you somewhere oh I just love that you're still counting how do you remember I just put them after I step off

stage I put them right into my phone I made the deadly mistake before when I first started of putting the spot in right before I went on and then the power went out at the club and I didn't get the spot. And I go, never do that again. So I wait till I'm done with the spot and then I put it into the phone. That's fucking hilarious. That is an attention to detail. Hey dude, you got, you, you actually said something right. I know you're like your,

your interests spans all through art and that right through into like architecture and this guy sends me bert these pictures of like desert homes or um like craftsman it's like all modern on the beach in the woods like just runs the gamut of every time everything from like a bill gates style house to hey man look at this really cool um you know first home i'd love to get in on this thing um and right before this podcast you mentioned what what did you hear happen in new york there's a power couple and they uh i love following the market. So they bought a $50 million penthouse for $14 million. That's what kind of market's going on right there.

And I just looked at the place. It was fucking mind-boggling. It was on East 11th. It's insane. So the market in New York is pretty weird right now, for sure. Well, why the hell would somebody sell in markets like this? Why was that, Bill? Why would somebody sell in markets like this? Why was that, Bill? Why would somebody sell during this market?

I can understand if you have a small business and you need the money, but if you have a $50 million apartment, I would think that you can ride this thing out. Maybe not, though. I think there's a lot of people that bailed on the way they bailed on LA, they bailed on New York City, out to go out to the country, or the Hamptons or whatever to get away from the the animals with the COVID, you know, and maybe, I mean, it sat on the market, they said for a few years, and it went down to like 20 million and then went down but uh they were asking uh what was it they said they were asking um 16 million and they offered 14 and got it can you imagine i don't get it like why why would somebody i mean what did they buy it for they took a bath to that level yeah did they say what they paid for

uh they didn't say what they paid for it um which is weird but it was 36 million dollars off and um uh wow that's really wild it It's monstrous. You've got... What's it worth? Can they buy it for $13? What's that? $14 million. I'm looking to... Because you can Zillow it. Yeah, you're right.

Burton loves Zillow. I love Zillow. Dude, I'm on Zillow right now. People are going, Nah, fucking... Dean comes on. This ain't fucking funny. Get them off.

But, you know, I love architecture. I love it. It's an obsession of mine. And so I'm on Zillow. Yesterday, I saw a place in Milwaukee for three hundred and fifty seven thousand. That's a Frank Lloyd Wright. So I'm like, well, maybe I would live in Milwaukee. Cause to me now it's getting down to the house that I like at, at coming up on 55 years old. And Kyle

Kinane said a great thing. He goes, all I need is an airport. So I'm like, yep. And tech nine said something great on my podcast. Tech nine said with Zoom and the internet, I'm everywhere. And I was like, yeah, you're right there too. You know, I throw this fucking, this Joshua Tree background up and I'm out there right now. Yeah, you're in the desert. It is a really, I wonder how that's going to affect when, you know. I was really looking forward to January, dude.

I thought the antidote was there the vaccine was gonna come out and everybody was gonna get it and like what the is going on i i keep hearing rumblings of 2022 and i've been hearing that for three months now from like people that are way in the business you know uh yeah but they're not way in the government so they don't know what the they're talking no i'm saying uh as far as entertainment you know, groups. Yeah, but they're not way in the government, so they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. No, I'm saying as far as entertainment, you know, like going out and working. I know.

Dude, I mean. I hear you. I hear you. I am obsessed with this. I'm obsessed with this right now. Okay, what happened? Our couple. I mean, so Leonardo DiCaprio used to live in this place. Oh, he did? this i'm obsessed with this right now okay what happened our couple i mean so leonardo dicaprio

used to live in this place oh he did yeah what makes you a power couple the amount of money a lot of money you have a buy but i think you got a lot of money and then you also don't pay attention to your kids is that what it is i think it's when i think a woman wouldn't cry what i think it's when i think the woman i get kids wouldn't cry as a man what i think it's when the woman makes the same amount as the man then it becomes a power couple yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't know what it is i'm looking at them they don't look too powerful to me the people who bought it yeah i don't look at them and see power i just see okay they got some shiny clothes yeah and see power. I just see, okay, they got some shiny clothes. Yeah. Bad hair

on both of them. It's an unfortunate... He's got... Dude, I'm not gonna say that. He's got gray hair from where I'm sitting. He's got gray hair? She is hot. Here's the problem. I see women like... Are we talking about this couple? Because she's a good-looking woman. She's a good-looking woman.

And then you look at a woman like that, and you're like, I'm always shocked. Okay, here we go. I got the address. I like this couple. He seems like he knows what a great woman she is. He's got that look in his eye. He looks happy.

She's wearing red. He's wearing blue, little Democrat, little Republican. Bloods and crips. Okay. Ready? Listen to bird over there.

Like he's looking at porn. He's all, Ooh, I'm a Zillow over there. He's looking at porn. He's all, ooh. I'm a Zillow porn. Tax history. I can't get that out of my head with that t-shirt. 2016, it sold for $8 million. Oh, it sold for $8 million? 2014, it sold for $10 million.

And I think they must have done a ton of work on it have you seen the pictures of this place it's insane you see the staircase gorgeous it is absolutely gorgeous and at the end of the day dude all people care about is how many square footage I'm not paying this much more for a foot so that's why

that's why the people who flip shit will go down to hoden depot you get that bullshit and just put it in there because as long as you got the square footage in the location you can charge top dollar yeah ultimately comes down to you know man and not to i'm not this is not i i don't want to sound like i'm noble or anything come on bird i love when you sound noble. When this white horse, when this pandemic started,

I start, I, I, it was the first time I said, Hey man, you really never know. Like you get to a place where you think you're making money and you go, and you go,

I can afford to take some chances financially. And then this started. And I was like, I was, I had taken chances. I had bought property thinking we'd rebuild. And all of a sudden they're like, Hey man, you may not work for a year. And I thought, what the fuck at the end of the day, this little shit house that we're staying, that we live in, that we've lived in for nine years, all you really need is a roof over your head. Do you need it to be $14 million? Or is it better to

have, you know, maybe $5 million house and then make sure you can take care of your family when a pandemic shows up? Dude, you rent. You rent that place. Yeah. Rent it for two nights. Hey, look at now. I'm in the hot tub.

Now I'm in the fucking pool. Look at me. I'm eating pork flakes on a balcony. And then you leave. Yeah. Yeah, when the pipes break, you go, look at me. I'm eating pork flakes on a balcony. And then you leave. Yeah. Yeah, when the pipes break, you go, look at me leaving. I'm out of here. Because you're going to buy that thing and still have the exact same fights

with your wife you would have had in the shitbox house. Yeah. I go two bedroom, two bath. That's the dream for me. One for the podcast studio and one to sleep in and people are going well what about when people visit i no one visits no one visits ever no one visits anyone when you get past 40 yeah they get a hotel it's like getting picked up at the airport fuck yeah yeah get your get a ride you're an. It's like that bit I'm doing.

The people with no headboards. I see one of those fucking houses in the Hollywood Hills with the views from downtown LA out to the ocean. I always picture the couple arguing with that in the background. Going, well, what about your mother?

Huh? She fucking comes over here. Yeah, yeah. She fingerprints all over the golden elevator right i cleaned that up i didn't say anything did i as they're arguing beautiful shooting stars are going by them yeah you're still gonna have the same stupid art but i swear to god you know be great if you could just stay in the pocket. And as she's yelling at you, if that shit's in the background, you just go, really? Just sit there looking at the view.

This ain't enough, huh? Not enough. What do you need, the space shuttle to fucking buzz the house? Yeah. Oh, look at this. How many pairs of shoes? Oh, look at this. How many pairs of shoes? Oh, man. That reminds me.

I want that Tiger Woods documentary. I was watching that, you know? Oh, don't get me started. Don't get me started, Dean. Okay, I won't. I won't. No, no, no. Let's do it.

I fucking am obsessed with Tiger Woods. Oh, yeah. I love Tiger Woods. I love him. I've always loved him. You're not going to like this documentary then, Bill. No. It's pretty dark. This documentary, it Bill. No. It's pretty dark.

This documentary, it's not kind. It's real dark. It's the opposite. I want to see a documentary, not a takedown piece. It's not a takedown piece. It's just the truth of becoming a superstar, what it takes. I don't want to see a documentary about the truth of being a superstar. No, I'm kidding.

You know what it takes. I don't want to see a documentary about the truth of being a superstar. No, kidding. You know what I mean. You know it's like the Jackson 5. You know there's a Joe Jackson in the background, you know? Well, let me ask you this. Are they understanding towards him or no? Yeah, yeah. Understanding towards Tiger, not understanding towards earl i would say yeah right exactly exactly which which knowing that's stupid because you don't know what

happened to him oh yeah you do yeah you do yeah yeah he went to vietnam he was an explosives uh specialist so they drop him off behind enemy lines. He would then blow shit up, get back in the chopper and leave. And you're going to say, look, Dean, correct me if I'm wrong, but maybe I don't need to know all. Maybe I don't think a guy that's lived that rough of a life and being African-American in the fucking 60s and 50s, maybe it's not fair to shine such a bright light on his shortcomings as a father or a husband. Maybe you can just say he was Tiger Woods' dad and he drank a lot and he got cancer.

Can I ask you a question? Sure. Was Tiger Woods involved in this? No. No, no. Involved in the documentary? No. No.

But they're saying that whatever his dad has passed yeah so who do they interview to get all of this dirt on this guy like his best friend and uh a guy that he golfed with every day his best friend is shitting all over him saying he's not a good father wow it, it's pretty brutal. It's pretty brutal. Well, I wouldn't say that they're the friends. Have you ever noticed this whenever they do one of those E! True Hollywood stories? They go, the Chris Farley E! True Hollywood stories.

You never see Sandler. You don't see Rock. You don't see Davis. But you don't see his friends. You see a couple of people that were like 40 fucking rings away from him and then they'll have a talking head and then and then they'll just have the talking head go and then after snl he went on to a movie career at first it went well with blah blah blah blah blue blue blue right and they're just a connective tissue they can never get like like um's my thing. It's like if I'm going to see a documentary on somebody,

I better see their husband or wife in it, their close friends. Like if there's going to be a documentary about Nirvana and Dave Grohl's not in it and the bass player there. Kirk Neveson. Yeah, if they're not in it then I don't want to see it yeah because what you're gonna get is a bunch of hangers on who trying to hang on to the band didn't work out so now what they're gonna try to be so I was fucking there man he was very volatile very volatile guy

they're just trying you now you're just trying to say so they use you in the edit yeah i love tiger man i love you too the story i think the greatest part of the story is him just blowing out the racist people of the masters and all those golf courses where black people weren't allowed i I just fucking love that. Like, just see you later. You know, there hasn't been a guy that dominant.

Like they literally had to change the rules of the game. They had to change the length of the fairway. Everybody had to up their game. I mean, it was like some fucking will Chamberlain shit. Oh, like, like,

yeah. Like another one of him is is like because it's not only you got to win as many as he did right you you have to like that like the game changed like you know changed again that's the thing like i know so many sports fans just don't understand the difference between being great and actually changing the game that's the thing like i know so many sports fans just don't understand the difference between being great and actually changing the game mind boggler orrence taylor mind completely changed um the position of being a linebacker before he came along there was nobody like that guy now there's been hall of fame linebackers you know and then there's him so i don't know the beatles it's like the beatles three albums a year and shit you're going like what how's this even possible what these guys are doing these record after record after record with crazy crazy next level

recording processes and and the hookiest songs ever and they're all playing their instruments and each one's writing tunes how about this how about this they they were essentially a boy band exactly supposed to last for like a summer and a half yeah they took control of their own started their own label did everything that they did and my favorite thing is listening to people under 35 trying to tell me they're overrated. It's like, all right, well, their music came out 50, 60 years ago. If you're going to say it doesn't hold up to today's stuff, I get that.

But their place in history is not overrated. No, not at all. So much time has gone by that, you know. I kind of saw a little bit of that one time. I remember this young comic, I was showing him a Richard Pryor clip. And they're kind of like, yeah, you know, I mean, it was funny. It was just like, well, you're also watching it 40 years after he did it

and everybody ripped him off. So now it looks like he's ripping off the people that you saw that were ripping him off. Well, they've seen that style done so much that they don't see how groundbreaking it was. You know? They see that at open mics, guys doing that style, the cadence, and the rhythm and all that.

They have no idea that nobody was doing that before him. Yeah. The Tiger Woods doc was frustrating to me because they had all the hindsight to kind of criticize anything he ever said in interviews also which was a little frustrating because like we asked him one time in an interview you know your dad says you're going to be bigger than gandhi but you know next was bigger than jesus next messiah and he goes uh you know it's that's a father talking that's a father's love for a son and then they criticized it the way he downplayed it he used to downplay it and you're like what the fuck was he supposed to do go yeah he's right man you're gonna be shocked like i'm gonna be like

you would hate that guy you'd call him deon sanders that's what deon sanders did and fucking they lambasted that yeah and i really i'm i'm glad you brought that up dean because i i sat i didn't know if i was the only one but i watched it on the treadmill i watched the whole thing on the treadmill jogging inspired by the way oh yeah tiger woods is golf is inspiring. What you're talking about, Bill, is he played against Phil Mickelson in the Masters in the final round. And he wanted to humiliate Phil Mickelson. That mindset of going, it's not enough that I beat him. It's that I beat him and I let him know that I beat him

and I'm barely doing it. Phil Mickelson Had a big, uh, you tell the story. I want to hear you tell the story about that drive that, that, uh, Tiger was talking about.

Well, first of all, his mom called, had a rude name for Phil. What was it? It was like fatty or something. They used to call Phil Mickelson lefty and his mom called him hefty. Yeah. Hefty. Yeah, hefty.

And so Phil gets – He used to get the man-boob sweat. He used to get the man-boob sweat underneath his fucking – To be fair, Phil Mickelson is six years older than Tiger Woods, and Phil Mickelson set every record in California. Every record in California. So Phil was like tigers you know the way tigers brain works is i gotta beat the motherfucker they say i can't beat right so all right yeah

that's why i always wanted to go on at the comedy store after like bill or or marin or rogan when people i don't want to go on i go i definitely want to go on now because either i bomb and they go hey he went on after burr or you did great. They go, fuck. He went on after burr. So it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a fucking, uh, win-win, but yeah. So he gets up there. Phil gets the one wood out and it's like the trick, the hardest fucking drive of the whole,

uh, masters. uh masters and then tiger goes up there with a three and smashes it past him and phil goes yeah i mean we used a three that that was pretty far and he goes yeah usually it goes further like just fucking with him the whole time man oh fuck he fell apart after that but I I don't think you know first of all like if you're gonna do a documentary on Tiger Woods at this point and you're just gonna criticize the get a guy again it's like didn't they we already did that yeah we got it we got it he's a nicer we get it we get it and it's just like at what point you're to let the guy up off the mat? It cost him his marriage and all of that shit.

Like. To me, to me, it's more about the show you what it takes to become legend. Not, not great. I'm talking legend. not great i'm talking legend let you know that nah man he didn't play video games and smoke weed this fucking guy played golf 24 7 and he was going to be a legend and that's what it shows you it shows you what you have to give up in life to become a legend.

Women. He showed up. He showed up early for, for it to surprise his girlfriend and didn't tell his parents a day early for vacation. Oh yeah. Didn't tell his parents. His dad was like, you break up with that cunt today. Now he wrote her a letter bill that basically said, you're not good for me. I'm better than this.

I apologize. It's over. Best of luck in life. Tiger Woods. Crazy. They were like a couple for like two years. Wait, what happened? Okay.

So he has a high school girlfriend. Okay. They fall in love. He goes to college and he's in college and he comes home for Christmas break. And he doesn't tell his dad he comes home a day early so he can see her first. The dad finds out and the mom, they go ballistic. They're like, this woman is going to ruin the golf career. Get rid of him now.

Get rid of her now or you're out of here. basically said we're throwing you out of the house so he writes a letter sorry i've got to play golf you're not good for me it was crazy letter poor guy was probably crying as he wrote it i know i know totally i would have gotten along with. I don't need to know these stories. I just want to enjoy the greatness. I don't want to know this stuff. And then what I don't like is his dad's not around. Did they interview his mom? Did she admit to doing this?

What the fuck is this? Whatever. They interviewed Stevie, his caddy. Yeah. He's great. Yeah. And he does get the gaffle and i've seen that with uh when people become famous not tiger but you know the people don't talk to

the other people anymore that they used to roll with in the comedy or the music you can make dumbest move you can make totally totally you Totally. You do the entourage thing. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, speaking of people in the business, we've got to bring up Jeff Scott, man. Oh, man. He passed away, unfortunately, man. Just hit us all like a ton of bricks. This guy's a piano player at the Comedy Store since about 95, 96.

And, you know, I talked about it on Instagram, how much that guy used to egg me on when I was on stage. The amount of times I was on stage and only a few people were laughing, but he was dying laughing. I would always look over at him and he would just have this look on his face that that it i don't know what it was that look on his face just made me go all right i gotta go further you know because i love that comedy thing like oh i got this guy i'm really killing with this guy i need to go further than dude i had a lot of bits that like got way better because i was just trying to make him laugh because I was bored on stage and I was sick of my act and I would just say stupid shit. Whenever I used to go on stage, I would always, as I was walking up, I would look over to see who was playing. And if he was playing,

he would always look at me and I would shake my head and he would throw his head back and just start laughing. So then I would go on stage and i would always scat sing with whatever he was playing with i'd do really bad and then say something you know a couple of curse words to end it and he would start laughing and it just um i don't know that guy was such a part of the magic of the uh original room he really was i can't i just can. I'm going to go back there. No Rogan. No. No Jeff. Yeah. No Diaz.

No Diaz left. Yeah. Well, you know, I released the podcast I did with him seven and a half years ago. I re-released it yesterday. I had Jeff on. And his story is just so good because if you think about it he moved to la and was basically a working musician for 25 years he was in the biz as a i mean nobody's a working musician barely you know that know. That guy, like all of us, he got away with murder.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, he did. He did what he loved. He got to play piano. He got to sit there and watch the best comics of the last quarter century and probably be beyond because he probably saw the guys from the 80s that were still coming down when he first started. And then he used to get to go out and back,

which I didn't know it was called Sacred Ground. never even heard of that when we all smoke and he went out you know take a couple hits of weed you know watch some comedy shoot the shit i i that guy i used to he was just i don't know all the crazy talk down to him i always had just level-headed how's it going talk what's going on with you i'd like, what do you think about this bit? And he would laugh. I'd go, you know, I'm thinking of trying this. He was just such a good guy, man. I'm really, really, really going to miss him.

I loved when he would give you the piece of paper when someone was popping in. So you're getting ready to go. All right, that's my time right now uh coming up hold on dean we've got a pop in and he'd hand you the piece of paper so one time he didn't have the paper there was no paper so he came over and whispered to me and i've got shit rock and roll ears and i thought he said chris farley all right and so i thought he was just fucking with me he goes it's chris and i go oh all right get out of here you idiot and i walk back in but he goes no no no no for real and i go what what are you talking about and then i looked at about two feet away it was chris rock

yeah so i got to bring up chris rock my first time ever but i thought he was fucking with me like chris farley like he was just playing games with me man i was i almost said hey guys chris farley coming up right now that would have been a nightmare for Chris Rock yeah back back from the dead right because by the time you started Chris was gone right oh yeah yeah this was like a year ago you know two or you know three years ago when he was doing the academy awards stuff that's when it was did you guys see that fucking clip on on Chris Rock's great page him him and uh and arsenio tells that story of when eddie and richard met i love it in those pictures oh my god the young lion looking at the young lion the old lion looking at the young lion coming up man i was fucking crazy i love that i love that it's so great down there at that

wonderful comedy club that i don't know when it's 2022. That's what the people are saying, 2022. I've actually gotten so used to just watching sports without a crowd now. It's not even weird anymore. It's not even weird. And I actually kind of in a weird way enjoy, especially with basketball. Like, do you remember every time like when when toronto raptors made their run for like a couple years before they finally got it every five seconds they were cutting to that guy there who does the rap singing thing

drake they just kept cutting to him it's like i get it he's there and the thing was was the other guy was the fun guy the other dude there they had the uh the arab guy there who went to every single home game every single away game he was like the biggest fan way back when they first started when they sucked and then drake came in with you know like 68 number one hits or something and then he became more of the story they kind of stole the guy's thunder a little bit at least we don't get the tomahawk chop anymore that's the fucking bet just the oh i cannot believe i used to do a joke on my like 20 years ago but that'd be like if the Nazis won and then they're going, Oy vey, oy vey.

By the way, just for the record, full disclosure, I must have did this for seven years straight. Oh! You know what? You know what's interesting? Florida State has, I think I'm right on this. The interesting thing is they never did that that's from white guys with rouge on their face pretending to be native americans in early

hollywood yeah yeah doing this oh oh that drum dun dun dun dun dun dun that's all that's all white people in hollywood yeah yeah real? That drum beat isn't a Native American? My brother went on a tour of a reservation one time, and he goes, Native Americans, he goes, we play drums like this. There he goes, but we definitely do not play a drum like this. And he goes, duh, duh, duh. The whole place died laughing.

It's like how stand-up comedy just for some reason picked one baseline from one porno yeah and then that just became whoever came up with that first yeah i don't even know if that was ever even in a porno and then that just became like a truth yeah yeah it's like sanford and son turned porno they just slowed it down you know that was quincy jones that did that quincy jones yeah really yeah what a great song okay everybody it's relief band did you know that a third of American regularly suffer from nausea? Please ad lib the intro with a personal life story of something that annoys you about being nauseous. Well, yeah, I'm about ready to puke and I feel the stomach acid in my throat. Do they really need an example of the people at home going, gee, what is being nauseous? What is puking?

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keep everything though. That's stitchfix.com slash Bill Burt for 25% off when you keep everything in your fix. You got to keep everything, though. That's stitchfix.com slash billbert for 25% off when you keep everything in your fix. Stitchfix.com slash billbert. Hey, Dean, I have a question. Yep. If you had to get a cool guy starter kit, right? Yeah. I'm talking great pair of shoes.

Yeah. Great motorcycle. Yep. Good leather jacket. He's already making the list. I don't even. A nice. Maybe we put a watch in there.

Oh, yeah. Or something like a good. Like a cool guy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Keep talking. Keep talking. Walk me through what we'd buy.

Because I think this is. I'm always looking for something like boots are hard this is too easy this is too easy do it for bert yeah what you know about bert okay yeah okay here here i'm gonna do a makeover for bert okay okay so first of all since i know you got a little money but you might not well you already got a gold rolex and you got that from your dad that was one of the first things i talked to you right yeah how did you know that did we talk about that i met when i first met you i said oh cool date just and you went oh yeah you know this i go yeah i know that watch i got it from my dad my dad gave it to me i

remember that 10 years ago dean clocked that from the other side of the fucking parking lot yeah like oh shit look at that you know so we're not gonna go rolex with you and um you're one of the few people i think that can get away with the gold one without fans going like look at this rich dick with his gold fucking roll. You know, I love gold Rolex, especially some submariners. I think they're fantastic. But with you, a watch I would do would be a Omega Speedmaster, which is the first watch on the moon. The astronauts war.

It's fantastic. It's got history. Oh, that's a good looking watch look at that yeah that's it right there boom that is the fantastic watch all right you just upped his number yep like it all right then we gotta get you uh out of the hoodie and stuff and we go leather jacket but we're not going to go biker jacket on you because you don't ride and that would look dumb you know i can ride but yeah but keep going i like where you're going but oh but you said you did want a motorcycle like you want a motorcycle

i wouldn't mind a rider's jacket oh yeah keep going okay then if you're going to get uh you want uh one of the best rider jackets you could probably get a langlitz out of uh portland they're a family they've been there since i don't know the 30s or 40s or something same family looking all of this shit up now i'm looking this up too langlitz leathers in portland oregon handmade you go in they measure you up burt and it's your jacket for life and you can let's yeah you can pick the color the style wow jesus this place is legit oh it's the best it is the best for you know for for you like because you want to get measured up you don't want to get something off the you know you could go for you like because you want to get measured up you don't want to get something off the you know you could go to shop which has got great great jackets and their

family owned also and been around since they've invented the motorcycle jacket but you want to get something measured up so it's you oh i like this i like this sidewinder right here looks good that is the first jacket i wore at the comedy store now that's where rodney big roddy piper got his jacket made and when we first met i got sweet langlets and he goes holy shit you know this i go yeah i got one and he goes oh i i love this jacket and piper wore that jacket his the history of of his life man i think he got buried in that jacket this is an amazing thing here is just listen to that story that's how he struck up a conversation with burt that's how he struck up a conversation with roddy rowdy roddy piper

um how i remember when you met jim Florentine he has got that metal show and he goes oh I'm a big ACDC fan and Jim was just like yeah okay and then he lifts up his shirt with a tattoo of Bon Scott and Florentine was just like hey who the fuck is this guy all right so we got we got him the jacket the motorcycle oh no we got to get him the bike now so hang on by the way by the way, hold on. I also, and this is just for motorcycle riders, throw in that set of gloves too that you think are really hot motorcycle gloves.

I have a pair of Motostucka gloves that are really fucking amazing looking gloves. But throw me in a pair of gloves too. I go RSD, Roland S sands gloves he's out there in long beach and he has the dope gloves that look like the old motocross gloves with the rubber on the top i don't know if you'll find them but he makes some of the best gloves i had the red white and blue ones when i went down stuff like that man his gloves are great they bend and everything but they also look cool they don't look like big old goofy gloves

yeah they look they look like something that's in your back pocket when you walk on the stage you know oh you want gloves in a back pocket is such a good look it is a good little back pocket is such a fucking hot look. It's the best. You put them in your bag and you walk on stage. You're like, yeah, I just wrote in to do set number 7,000. All right. Now you got to go motorcycle here.

All right. The good one. All right. So I think for you. Yes. And this is a great, great bike. It's the BMW R9, and it is fucking cool, and it's not the standard bike everyone rides.

You finding it? Oh, I got it oh yeah that is a gorgeous bike now that bike is fantastic and they make it with kind of the old paul smart fairing and everything so it looks classic but you're not burt the harley guy because even though you kind of look like a Harley guy, you don't want to be that guy. You want to be kind of unique. So you've got the Omega. You've got the Rolling Sands gloves. You've got the Langlitz.

You've got the BMW R9. And then you've got some Brian the Bootmaker boots, which we all wear. I'm definitely buying the fucking boots best boots on the planet bill has a pair i got a few pairs marin's got them and you go over there downtown and he's fantastic. Where do I find him? Downtown. Oh, he's on Instagram.

Did you see what he just did, Bert? Brian the Bootmaker. Is that Roll Club? That's it. That's it. I'm following him right now. Yeah, tell him I say it. This guy can make a fucking boot.

Look at these fucking boots. I got that pair. It's called the Underdog. It's the best boot made right now yeah tell them i say this guy can make a look at these boots i got that pair it's called the underdog it's the best boot made right now i wonder if i could go in with a boot idea i have a couple 100 percent i mean dean i got an idea that you're gonna be like the thing about you as far as being like a stylist, which you could be for somebody is how cool you just made him as you didn't go to the, the, the leather jacket place that everybody goes to show. So whatever you didn't get him the Harley,

you didn't go fucking like, uh, like, cause a lot of these guys, when they do that, they get money. All of a sudden they, they look like they're in like a B movie.

Yeah. It's just like, okay, we got all like the fucking well it's like i always say the stylist you know when i see a band and they got the wallet chain i'm like ah no one does the wallet chain this stylist did them wrong you know wallet chain on you then we're gonna do an uh an eagle shirt on you and this guy over here. You know, it's like you got to look.

There's great shit out there. And you got to tell me there's bands that they dress them all as an ensemble. I understand if they all dress the same, but like they don't pick out their own clothes. Not a lot of bands like if they're from like, say, like Tennessee and they don't know they bring in a stylist. It's crazy. You can tell by the photo because the brands they're wearing. I'm like, this is a fucking stylist right here.

Brought this in. I've seen it a million times. I can look at a promo shot and go, somebody was the stylist on that. Why would somebody do that? Cause I would think you would take what made them unique. Like if they were from Knoxville, they should have like a Knoxville sort of vibe.

And if you're just going to make it look like they just went down to the Nashville store on Sunset or some shit, you know, out here in L.A. They do it because the record company people think they know what sells. And they don't know they're following something that happened three trends before by the time that like here's a perfect example the strokes creating it or they're creating it like this work so everybody's gonna dress like this till we burn this out yeah we don't give a fuck about the longevity of anybody's career well i don't think they're creating it i don't think they have that kind of eye because for me to tell bird exactly what he would be great with was a lifelong experience of wearing and writing and uh and seeking stuff and knowing like nah this is bullshit this is a great brand this is no good this is fake you know from

i was just gonna ask you about a leather jacket because the one that i got is so freaking old oh i love that one it was in style out of style yeah when i was wearing when we did that texas tour right yeah that's called the car coat and bucco uh makes one now that is it's fitted and so fantastic. I don't think I want to be fitted right now. No, it's not fitted. I don't know if I want to be fitted these days. It's not like that, but it gets rid of the giant barrel arms,

which is god-awful. Giant barrel arms. Like, your arm's only this big and the armhole's this big. I'm talking about that kind of shit you know not around your gut it's all about the arm being fine in a good leather jacket is difficult because it's yeah you don't look like you're a happy days fan right especially you look like an old ron howard like me or you're not flying like a world War II bomber. It's just like everything is like too many zippers will fuck it up. I like it nice.

Engine ear boots are fucking badass. That's how he started. That was the first boot. Let me tell you Brian the Bootmaker's story. He was in high school. He's a good-looking man. Is this the guy? That's him.

He's great. He's a good-looking man. Yeah. I'm going to say something real quick. You see him he's great he's great good looking man yeah so i gotta say something real quick you see what he's doing right here we tried to turn this into a fucking tv show and a few people came close but nobody pulled the trigger i don't know why they didn't this fucking guy knows where all the cool shit is all this handmade stuff like all of this stuff where you know i would go to these cities a bunch of times. Oh, I hate that city.

It's nothing but a bunch of cheesecake factories and Home Depots. He'd be like, what are you talking about? You go to that city and all the NFL footballs are made there. Or, dude, there's a guy fucking right next to the Taco Bell you go to that builds custom motorcycles. He's phenomenal, the best in the business. He just sold a bike to so-and-so. He knows this all around the fucking country yeah i have the podcast right now since no one picked up the show i started a second

podcast called the grail and each week i feature one of these people and it's the holy grail of what i feel of home stereos boots boots, cars, you know, architecture, denim, watches, everything, you know. So each week I bring them. So last week I had Jesse James on. It's the holy grail of chopper building. A lot of people and myself included, I would love to know where to get good boots or a good jacket or know the different. I would love someone to walk me through with Jesse James, the different types of what a bobber is versus a chopper versus versus a cafe racer versus like what I like in motorcycles. Like when I rode, I rode the Harley, the Harley four, four, 58, five, 56. You know what I'm talking about?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. The sports horse. Yeah. The sportster. Yeah. I rode that and it was a little lower.

It was a little more fun to ride. I rode it through Hawaii versus, uh, uh, uh, a fat boy low, which I felt like even getting on the fat boy low which i thought i would like more i was like it's too heavy for me i wanted a little bit more accessible of a bike but like there's so much information is the key to this because i am fascinated when you say bootmaker yeah i'm sitting here i'm scrolling through this guy's fucking boots going like shit man i don't have i don't have any good boots. I got those boots.

You know the boots you get in Australia? They're the RH somethings. They're like the Australian boot. Right. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know what you're talking about. Yeah, like the one that the fucking, they're all wearing, it's just the standard.

Yeah, it's not the Blundstones, the cheaper version. Right, yeah. It's the nicer version. Yeah. And by the way, I have a pair of Blundstones too. the the blundstones the cheaper version right yeah nicer version yeah and so and by the way i have a pair of blundstones too i love blundstones but i bought those boots those are the only boots i have now i'm looking at these things going i love engineer boots i've always loved i had a great pair of engineer boots that were stolen from me i didn't know they were called engineer boots yeah that's the boot that ray raise a dangerous friend to have because he will introduce you to shit that you didn't even know that you wanted well all of a sudden you're like going oh my god i gotta i gotta get that i gotta get that

i always laugh because i'm doing the podcast and i feature someone on and then someone will email me and they'll be like fucking thousand pair thousand dollar pair of boots you're fucking out of no wonder you're poor you fucking piece of shit fucking and they don't understand they buy nine pairs of boots at walmart over a six-year period i buy one pair of boots for the rest of my life you know does rogan have a pair of this guy's boots i swear to god he was wearing these boots in an instagram post this morning really i swear to fucking i'm gonna pull up the goddamn post rogan got a good jacket by the way rogan's got for a guy who has no style he's got good taste in clothes his wife i guarantee you his wife is doing

it we well i don't know we saw him in austin and he was wearing this fantastic what's called an n1 that the navy guys wore and he had a leather version of it and it was the first time i was a little jealous of something rogan was wearing i was like whoa that's fucking bad leather this is an n1 jacket that's an end uh no an n1 has like a uh a collar on it a fur collar like you know the navy guys wore it when they were out on the boats they're fantastic and he had another one and i saw the company that made it and it's crusher man i have such no style that i didn't even notice it i noticed oh yeah like the truck yeah yeah yeah i walked right up i fuck, that's a sweet jacket. And he goes, Oh, thanks man. And immediately I wanted to know who made it.

And then he posted who made it. And I went to their website and was like, God, I got to have the Brown one, you know? I'm up to zoom in. Okay. Okay. Let me see. Can you see these boots? okay let me see can you see these boots by the way joe rogan is a chuck taylor wearing motherfucker yeah and all of a sudden he's rocking these boots and i'm like man someone has changed since he moved to fucking texas well austin's good style man and this is the jacket too i think austin's got some um oh oh and let's talk a little

bit about rogan which i do see what happened with a lot of people and i'm not saying this happened to rogan but i've seen it happen over the years where people want to wear something i hear this over and over my entire life wow cool glasses you can pull those off. I could never do that. And when they move somewhere where their high school friends or the comedy store, people don't know them anymore. They can really create who they want to be. Now I'm in Austin. I'm going to wear this fucking jacket. I don't have to worry about burt going nice jacket you queer you know like okay i got a jacket i got some good boots you know what i'm saying i'm not saying rogan that him but i've seen people move somewhere and they completely become who they want to be and they're

like fuck yeah dude you know like i will i will give that was just a sound bite from my childhood. I used to have a joke about all my clothing decisions for my entire life have been trying not to look gay. That's it. It was all based on homophobia. My whole childhood, any decision. Yeah. My whole thing was. Gay bashing.

I can't wear that. I can't wear that. I can't wear that. God forbid you take a chance and everyone's like, what kind of club are you going to tonight? You're like, never mind. I'll change wear that. I can't wear that. I can't wear that. God forbid you take a chance and everyone's like, what kind of club are you going to tonight? You're like, never mind. I'll change. Mother holds up.

Do you like this? Do you like that? Mom, I can't wear that. I always love that. I made it to second period. I'm sorry. You guys decided to go to Massachusetts. These are the shackles of heterosexuality, Bill.

Jeans and a sweatshirt. You know what? You know what's hilarious, though, is once I started wearing stuff that I – it happened in the 10th grade. So Metallica's big. I need a motorcycle jacket. That's what the bands are wearing. And we went down to Polk Street, which is the gay neighborhood in San Francisco, and we went to a place called hard on leathers.

All right. And we went in there and I got my first leather jacket. Now, no one is wearing leather jackets in high school, especially this motorcycle. This is before their hip. It was just kind of like you were either gay or whoa, this guy's crazy.

And I was like, I'll take both you know what i mean like i'll wear this thing crazy and i remember i wore it to high school the first day of 10th grade and people were like whoa what the fuck is this guy wearing i mean it was i was considered radical a motorcycle leather in 1982 in high school you know and that's right when metallica's kind of hitting and wearing that shit it was wild i mean you know hey here's my question how do you get rid of clothes in your closet or do you well the stuff i have is all hard to get and minimal made you know like 100 pairs of this 10 of that one of that. So I sell it on eBay for the same money I bought it for years later. So I'm like, all right, I'm over this and I'll sell it

for the same money and buy something new. All right. But if you bought clothes like me and Bert, what you want to do is you put them in a garbage bag, you take it down to Skid Row. Yeah. That's what you do with that. Don't take it to Goodwill because they'll just throw it in the ocean. Yep. Yep. Yep. Our shit, hipsters don't want with that. Don't take it to goodwill because they'll just throw it in the ocean. Yep, yep, yep. Our shit, hipsters don't want our shit. Although I like to think that this is actually a nice little sweater ensemble. Yeah, I mean, I could see. I didn't want to say anything, Bill.

I like that sweater. This is my old man sweater. I think I got this in Ireland. I dig it. I dig it. You know what? Finally, I am of age where I can wear one of these. All I need is some granny glasses.

Let me tell you about jokes when I was coming up. I'll tell you, early COVID, I was having a hard time not wearing my clothes. This is who I am. I swear to God I was going to ask you was gonna I swear to god I was gonna ask you that yeah I swear to god I was like so wait has the has it been tough with the pandemic because you can't put on anything and go anywhere yeah so I was and then one day I had to go to a meeting it was an outdoor meeting and I put on my clothes and I can't tell you the the amount of depression that just lifted off my shoulders because i'm not a sweatpants guy i'm not a guy laying around in sweatpants at all i don't fly

in sweatpants i'm the type of guy old school rock like somebody's gonna see me at the airport i want to look like fucking dean delray i don't want to be in the sweats and the fucking, you know. So I put on the outfit and went to the meeting and it made me feel fantastic. I was like, oh the clothes. It's fucking weird. I'd like to clarify though, there's tracksuit

sweats and then there's sweatpants. Sweatpants are the shit. They are. Sweatpants are the shit. The tracksuit ones ones i don't like those ones oh oh i take that i saw i saw kevin hart in a all baby blue tracksuit at the airport this is a long time ago back when he would have said hi and uh and and i there you go pre his netflix deal yesterday congrats to kevin hart Hell yeah. Fucking hardest working man. And a very talented man.

I will say that. More than hardworking, I'd say he's talented. I never shit on people making it, ever. I just was teasing him. I did his serious satellite show. Oh, really? And I was saying that I must have got enough credits on my IMDB page that he was talking to me again.

that I must have got enough credits on my IMDB page that he was talking to me again. He was in an all baby blue tracksuit. And I was like, I was in jeans and a pair of fry boots and a leather jacket. And I thought, I bet he's more comfortable than I am. And I am a sweatsuit wearing motherfucker on planes. Well, I wear the Adidas. Burr doesn't like it,, I wear the Adidas bird.

Doesn't like it. I wear the Adidas track suit right now when I fly, because I had the neck surgery. So I wear the all black track suit when I fly now. And I tell you, I didn't like that. Why would that? No,

you just said it just now. Right. You said not to. No, no, no, no. I was just, I was just talking about for comfort.

Oh, I got old school. Oh yeah. Ray on gray. Oh yeah. Yeah. That material. Champions. the no no no no i was just i was just talking about for comfort oh i got old school oh yeah gray on gray oh yeah yeah that material champions it's just way more comfortable i'm fine so i feel like you're wearing a pillow yeah oh i love that shit the rocky one stuff bring it on have you worn a comfy yet fucking what is that dude it is like a sleeping bag with a hood on it and you just and it is so fucking comfortable my whole family's in comfies they're so fucking

it's a comfy what a comfy it's a i got one mine i think sharper images all right how do you spell it c-o-m-f-y c-o-m-f-Y? C-O-M-F-Y. A comfy, yeah. Go to the shop, the official comfy store. Bill, it's a tent with a hood on it. And it is so fucking comfortable. It's genius. The amount of fat fucks. Oh, you feel skinny, Bill?

They're so big, you feel skinny in them. Oh, you want to see something funny? Someone just sent me this. You're going to love this. Hold on. Let me get rid of this background real quick oh my god somebody sent me this uh today and i'm like looking at look at the belly on the on me you look like a third base coach i do right i look like a third base because i'm look at this photo you look like uh who's that guy who coached, managed the Orioles?

Oh. Hunter O'Weaver after him. The guy with the blonde hair. He's funny as hell. Oh, my God. He's the kid on the Red Sox and Yankees. Nobody knows. You lost all that weight because of diabetes?

Yeah, I got diabetes. that weight because of uh diabetes yeah i got diabetes and um and i was in the doctor's office and he goes uh okay so it's going to be 800 a month for this uh you need these uh you know insulin pills and i go 800 a month i don't even have I'm trying to pay rent right now. This is four years ago. I mean, I'm still in the same boat, but I go, well, what else can I do? And he goes, I don't know, grab some brochures on the way out. And I was just like, cause the doctor, he just gives you the diagnosis. He doesn't know the fix. He's just the regular doctor. So I quit sugar 100 that day and uh lost 40 pounds now he no longer looks like buck showalter i looked it up yeah so cute like no pastas no breads no nothing no no eat zekio bread once in a while and pasta once a month or so would be a quinoa pasta but no

none of that man it's uh you know the problem was i wanted to do comedy more than i wanted sugar so i made the easy switch it's a fucking no there's one thing that i love about dean dean only has to learn a lesson once yeah not me that's it yeah not me dude i i learned it over and over again all right this is the time now i'm gonna stop um speaking of stopping we gotta we gotta wrap this thing up i gotta go get my daughter at school so dean yeah you are the man brother i'm glad i got to re-style Bert. It's the best segment we've ever done. No. All right, everybody. Thus concludes another wonderful episode of The Bill.

Bert. Pod. Podcast. Rest in peace, Jeff Scott, Dean Del Rey. Thank you so much for being such a wonderful guest. We will talk to you guys again soon. Stay safe out there. Don't watch the news,

unless you want to, man.