The Blindboy Podcast - The Psychology of Greek Mythology

Episode Date: September 27, 2023

A look at Greek mythology through the lens of humility and emotional intelligence  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Liaise with Beelzebub, you creasing Timothys. Welcome to the Blind Boy Podcast. It's getting crispy in Limerick City. I'm going to have to start thinking about gloves soon enough. I felt the lick of winter on my knuckles. I'm looking forward to winter this year. Do you know I'm looking forward to Christmas? I think this year's Christmas is going to feel genuinely normal.

The pandemic made a bollics of two Christmases and technically last Christmas even though last Christmas was kind of normal and by normal I mean no active pandemic restrictions. Like at this point I don't have a pandemic state of mind anymore. Now what I mean there is the way that I had to train my brain completely differently to adjust to a completely different reality. What I found so upsetting about the pandemic were things like being literally being aware that another human being is within two meters of me and for that awareness to be informed by a fear. A fear of catching a disease.

And that completely rewired my brain. That rewired my brain to be antisocial. The pandemic was antisocial. A disease was being spread through human beings socializing. So the restrictions that were put in place, they were anti-social. And that was one of the saddest parts of lockdown and the pandemic for me, for my brain to wire itself to be anti-social as a rational and reasonable response to a threat. And last Christmas, I do remember walking into a pub, walking into a packed pub at Christmas time, which is,

that's a joyful thing to do. That's a wonderful thing to do. Coming out of the cold, going into a pub, there's a fire on, the place is packed. You speak to a person and their jacket smells like the cold outside. There's few things more wonderful than a pub at Christmas time. And last Christmas, I remember walking into a pub and noticing and feeling the humidity of everybody's breath. And that being a frightening thing, because for two years before that, I'd been conditioned to believe that a room full of breath of multiple humans

is a very dangerous thing that contains a disease. And I don't think like that anymore. I don't think about how close a person is to me. I don't care if they're shouting close to me. When I walk into a room and the room is full of people, I no longer have this extra sense, this fucking extra sense, where I notice the heightened humidity in the room because of the amount of people's breath that's in there.

Because I don't care about it. It's not a threat anymore. And I don't want to care about it. So I think this Christmas would be the first Christmas where we're genuinely not going to be thinking that way at all. We're not even going to be remembering it. We'll just be enjoying Christmas. Something the pandemic really distorted was our perception of time. I can remember around 2021,

which would have been still in the middle of lockdown. Remember 2021? Being completely unable to believe that 2017 was four years ago. I couldn't fathom it. My internal clock would not register 2017 as four years ago. It felt like two years ago. But now in 2023, I can't actually accept that 2017 was six years ago. It feels like six years ago. What I'm finding too, and this is a positive thing, is the entire two years of pandemic, it left me with a feeling of confusion.

To be honest, the only way I can tell the difference between, like in my memory, the only way I can tell the difference between 2020 and 2021 was what I was watching on TV during lockdown. 2020 was The Sopranos and 2021 was Mad Men. And that's all I have. But with distance, like the farther away I am from the pandemic and of lockdown, I'm able to move on from it emotionally. Because now the whole period has I have a feeling around it now

when I think back to 2020 and 2021 I do remember moments of intense fear the start of the pandemic when when we were wiping groceries that came in the door there was a feeling of deep intense terror that you couldn't express and you couldn't acknowledge because you had to just get on with it to survive. But mostly when I think of the pandemic, like what it feels like, the memory is an incredible boredom, a profound boredom.

No part of me is remotely nostalgic for that period at all. But even being able to consolidate those feelings and put names on them, even being able to hold in my heart the memory of intense boredom with occasional glimpses of extreme terror. Even having that and the language around it and naming those feelings, that's helping me to move on and reconnect with my sense of self and have an idea of who I am. Two years of lockdown left me with a sensation of I'm not really sure who I am. This sense that trying to reconnect with the person who I was before lockdown but two years have passed. To literally age two years but to not notice or feel that amount of time passing and to not have spent two years in any great meaningful capacity.

I didn't learn a hell of a lot about myself from watching Mad Men and The Sopranos. So lockdown felt a little bit like... When people claim they've been abducted by aliens. People who claim to be abducted by aliens experience missing time. They say that the aliens abducted me. They took me away for like two years. But back home, it was like two hours. So I have this sense of two years missing from my life, but I can't account for it. And the pandemic was like that. It left us all with a shimmering

feeling of confusion, of missing time. I think finally now I'm over it. I can just, I can feel. time. I think finally now I'm over it. I can just, I can feel, yeah it was two years. A really, really, really boring two years. And even saying that, I feel a healing in that. I feel a healing in being able to name that. So about two weeks ago I did a podcast about Greek mythology and simulation theory. I told you the story of how Zeus and Prometheus created the human race. A story that could be 1500 to 2000 years old. A story about how when Zeus and Prometheus were arguing about the ethics of creating the human race, the concerns that they raised are more or less identical to concerns that we have now as a society when we are deciding whether or not we should create artificial intelligence.

And I made the argument that when you read Greek mythology, the origin story for how the gods created the universe in Greek mythology aligns very much with simulation theory. The Greek gods made humanity and the world as a type of video game for their entertainment. So I don't want to spoil it for you. If you haven't heard that podcast, it's from two weeks ago and it's called Greek Mythology and Simulation Theory. And I recommend you go and listen to that before you listen to this if you haven't heard it. So I received massive amounts of feedback from you about that episode.

And a lot of you really enjoyed it when I told you stories from Greek mythology. And the question I got asked most was, what happened next? What happened next? So that's what I'm going to speak about on this week's podcast because I've been conkers deep in Greek mythology. I adore it. It's massive. The storytelling is phenomenal. It's never-ending. I can see why for the past 2,000 years various civilizations have consistently been harking back to the Greeks. What endears me most about

Greek mythology, there seems to be a lack of morality. The gods in Greek mythology are flawed like humans are. They're not all-knowing, all-loving, perfect beings like you find within Christian mythology. Like the Christian God is just absolutely perfect. The Christian God can be vengeful. The Christian God can be loving. But you get the sense that the Christian God is always in control. Always has his shit together. Knows what's happening. But the Greek gods, they get angry, they get jealous, they gossip about each other, they have affairs, they're insecure, they're arrogant, they're prideful, they have self-doubt. And Greek mythology says so much about the human condition and human psychology. Because the thing is, people who don't understand their own emotions

try to control other people's behavior and within Greek mythology you have the gods who live on Mount Olympus but reality the human world that's like a video game that they made it's their play thing so when the Greek gods are flawed

when they don't understand their own emotions, who gets the brunt of it? Humans. Whether it be true natural disasters, earthquakes, volcanoes, fucking lightning storms, drought, famine, whatever the fuck.

These things happen because the Greek gods are flawed. They're flawed and fallible like human beings. The Greek gods represent our emotions. And if you don't have solid emotional literacy or an understanding of your own emotions, it's often the people that you love the most, that are closest to you, that have to deal with the fallout. You have a shit day at work, you're not feeling very good. Who has to deal with your

grumpy mood? It's not the stranger in the shop. You can muster a bit of politeness for them. It's your partner or your kids. And within Greek mythology, what really pisses off the gods is when humans are too prideful. When humans get cocky and arrogant. That really pisses off the gods. And then humans have to deal with their wrath. And what the Greek gods are always looking for are sacrifices. For humans to take a moment to offer something that they have,

food, animals, to the gods, to step back and acknowledge we are just humans and there's something greater than us and we have to give thanks to this regularly. And on a psychological level what's been spoken about there is it's humility. To be able to understand your emotions so that you can get to a point where you can emotionally regulate, which basically means achieving a sense of calm so that when emotions happen you can observe them rather than allowing your emotions to control your behavior. In order to have that type of emotional literacy the first step is always humility. And humility is quite simply,

I am better than nobody else, and nobody else is better than me. Because humans are too complex to evaluate off each other. And that there is humility. That's intrinsic worth. All humans have the exact same worth. Doesn't matter what your job is. Doesn't matter what you look like. Doesn't matter how much money you have. Doesn't matter what your job is. Doesn't matter what you look like. Doesn't

matter how much money you have. Doesn't matter how many friends you have, how charming you can be. These are external things. Our worth is not defined by our possessions or how other people see us. Our worth is intrinsic, unchanging, immeasurable, and all humans worth is equal. And when you truly accept and acknowledge that as much as possible throughout your day, then you can achieve humility. And when you have humility, you're not going to get jealous of somebody else because you won't view them as being above you because you'll understand that you're effectively equal. When you have humility you're less likely to be angry. Let's just say a person is rude to you. If a person being rude to you makes you furiously angry

the type of thoughts that go through your head are, who did they think they are that they can treat me like that? Your very sense of worth feels belittled and attacked. The other person's rude behavior stops being their behavior and now it has encroached on your emotional boundaries and you've decided to hand that person the power to define your worth and that's why it hurts. But with humility, I'm better than nobody else. And nobody else is better than me because we're all equal.

With humility, if someone is rude to you, it just becomes an unpleasant experience. It's like, that wasn't very nice. Didn't enjoy that. But that person's got some shit going on in their life and it has nothing to do with me. And then you don't experience rage. You're not having difficulty sleeping later on that night, gritting your teeth, thinking about what you would have said to that person who was rude to you earlier because you've let it go. The humility allows you to emotionally regulate and critically evaluate your own emotions because you feel the safety of having intrinsic worth. With humility you don't blame other people.

You don't blame other people when shit goes wrong. There's a lot of people who live very unpleasant lives because they blame other people for shit that's gone wrong in their own lives. If it wasn't for this person, I would be here by now. I would love to achieve this goal, but I can't because of them. And the thing is with that line of thinking, blaming other people is a very simple, easy, short-term solution. But when you do that, you remove your own agency. You take away your own power to accept responsibility for your own life and change. With humility, you get to go. That person really hurt me in the past and that wasn't nice. But right now, they're not around and I have full control over how I live my life.

Now they're not around and I have full control over how I live my life. And I acknowledge that blaming that person is actually keeping me stuck right now. Humidity will help you deal with anxiety. Anxiety sometimes happens when we feel that we can't control the future. It's a lack of tolerance for uncertainty. And when we think anxiously, when we think anxiously about the future, oh my God, what if this happens? what if that happens, what if that happens, we're trying to see danger before it happens, we're trying to create certainty but with humility you can acknowledge that that's

actually impossible, it's impossible to create certainty because the universe is chaos so by accepting your intrinsic worth, that's equal to everyone else's, you get to say to yourself, I've no control over what happens to me, but you know what? I've got worth. So I've full control over how I react to what happens to me.

And all of that is what I adore about Greek mythology. The wrath of the Greek gods is actually our irrational, intense and harmful emotions when we as humans fail to practice humility. Now what the gods want in Greek mythology is build me a temple and kill a calf every Friday. Sacrifice. And if you don't do this, you're being prideful and I'll fucking punish you. But humility is sacrifice. And if you don't do this, you're being prideful and I'll fucking punish you. But humility is sacrifice. Reminding yourself frequently, I'm better than nobody else and nobody else is better than me and I have intrinsic worth. That's fucking difficult.

That's really difficult. That's daily work and effort. Anxiety, anger, jealousy, daily work and effort. Anxiety, anger, jealousy, they're not fucking difficult at all. That's the path of least resistance. That's where we go to automatically if we don't watch ourselves. So humility is sacrifice. And that's what I see repeated over and over again

in Greek mythology. And that's why, it's why stories from 2,000 years ago are still relevant right now because they're just stories about human psychology they're stories about the emotional world of the human animal so where we left off with the last podcast is zeus who is like the king of all the gods zeus and prometheus prometheus isn't a god he's a titan it's not't a god, he's a titan. He's not quite a god, but he's a mortal, he's not a human. Zeus and Prometheus are deciding, fuck it, let's make

humans. So they do. And humans are like a video game for Zeus and Prometheus. But Zeus was like, okay, we're going to make these humans, but don't make them too smart. Make them like Neanderthals, all right? Don't make them too smart because then them like Neanderthals, all right? Don't make them too smart because then they're going to get prideful and self-aware and they're going to think they're greater than the gods. So Prometheus agreed to it and said, okay, fine. But then Prometheus felt sorry for the humans because humans in the little video game were living in caves and they were freezing. So Prometheus gave humans the gift of fire and technology and then humans became like a rogue AI. They became real smart and real prideful.

Zeus went mad, punished Prometheus and then released like a virus into the video game of reality. the video game of reality. And he did this using Pandora. Pandora opened her box and unleashed fallibility on the humans. Pandora opened her box and released suffering and pain and disease and mental illness and painful emotions.

Zeus' way of controlling a rogue artificial intelligence that risked becoming smarter than the gods and more powerful than the gods. Zeus' way of controlling this was by creating suffering as like a virus he put into the program. And now all of a sudden humans had limitations and that limitation is human fallibility. That's the shit I spoke about there. Pride, jealousy, anger, anxiety, all of that stuff came from Pandora's box. But what also came from it was hope. So despite pain and

suffering, humans kept going because they had hope. So what happened after that? So after that, human civilization progressed. But because Pandora had unleashed suffering on the world, humans dealt with their pain through wickedness. They managed their trauma and pain by hurting other people, through cruelty towards other people, or trying to avoid their pain through vice, reckless sex, addiction, gambling, murder, the ills of society. The ills of society started to develop after Pandora's box was opened.

So now to the gods of Mount Olympus, to Zeus, because reality is just a video game for him, he's now looking at the human population going, fuck me, this place is turning to shit. This place is fucked. So Zeus says there's only one thing I can do. I have to restart the game. I have to reboot the computer. I have to plug it out of the wall and plug it back in. That's what he did with his simulation. But the farm that this took is Zeus created a flood. Now if that sounds familiar

it's because it's the exact same shit that happened in the bible when God created a flood. Now if that sounds familiar, it's because it's the exact same shit that happened in the Bible. When God created a flood, the world had gone wicked after the Garden of Eden. It's worth pointing out the story of the Garden of Eden from the Bible and the story of Pandora's Box from Greek mythology, they're fucking identical. It's the same shit. Both stories are tinged with a misogyny.

In the Garden of Eden, paradise, everything is grand. God says to Eve, you can have everything you want in this garden except for that apple over there. Don't eat a fucking apple off that tree. And then Eve, because she was a weak, silly little woman, couldn't resist.

She ate the apple. Then herself and Adam were expelled from paradise to live in the normal world where pain and suffering existed and with pandora's box same thing zeus goes to pandora you have a lovely world here pandora you're the world's first woman here's a box don't open it all right and then pandora can't resist she opens the box and all the world's suffering is created so both those stories that the human beings that wrote those stories however many thousand years ago just incel men who got cheated on or rejected by some woman that they fancied and then said women are the root of all evil. And in both stories, the Bible and Greek mythology, so a woman creates evil,

then once evil and suffering are present, society falls to shit and God and Zeus decide, fuck that, I'm starting again, let's have a massive flood and kill everything. And if you're wondering, like, why is the story in the Bible about the flood the same as the story in Greek bible about the flood the same as

the story in greek mythology about the flood what's going on that they're the same but they were written around the same time but at the end of the day these are just stories that humans are creating and there's an earlier story called the epic of gilgamesh which is it was written down 2500 years ago but before it was written down, it would have been oral mythology. So in this book that's 2,500 years old, you have the flood myth. The art was wicked and God created a flood. So that's a real old story. And even though it's written down 2,500 years ago, it was probably passed orally way before that. And there's even a theory that

the reason we as humans have flood mythology is because the stories could have been written by human beings who remember the Ice Age. The Ice Age ended 18,000 years ago. That's not that long ago. Humans

identical to me and you, identical, the exact same brains, just as smart, lived through the ice age 18,000 years ago. The world was covered in ice and that ice melted and when that ice melted it turned to water. There were floods. So stories of civilization beginning with a giant flood. It could literally come from people who remembered that happening. Passed down orally through generations. Until 2500 years ago. It gets written down in the epic of Gilgamesh. And then finds its way into the fucking Bible.

And also Greek mythology. So back to the Greek mythology. The world has gone to shit, it's wicked, it's full of sin, and Zeus just goes, fuck this, I'm flooding the place. I'm plugging out the computer, I'm rebooting the system. I'm starting again. So just before Zeus floods the simulation, floods his video game to kill everything and start anew,

Prometheus, who's now living in eternal punishment with an eagle eating his liver, Prometheus, who was the one who had given humans fire and technology, Prometheus is like, Ah, fuck it, I can't believe Zeus is going to destroy the game that we made together. What a fucking prick. I wonder what I can do. So just before Zeus floods the earth, Prometheus gets onto his son.

And his son's name is Deucalion. And his son has a wife called Pyrrha. So Prometheus says to his son, here, Zeus is rebooting the system man. Zeus is going to unleash a flood, right? And I'm warning you in advance. So Prometheus' son, Deucalion, and his wife, Pyrrha, they build an ark. They build a boat, just like Noah. boat just like Noah and Zeus floods the system reboots the whole thing but Prometheus's son and Pyrrha they survive and they repopulate the earth you have to remember this is a video game the earth and humanity is a plaything of the gods so Zeus lives outside of time and space on Mount Olympus.

So thousands, hundreds, millions of years are passing down on Earth in the video game. But Zeus lives outside of that. So human society is flourishing again after the flood. And Zeus is enjoying his video game. And this is the beautiful thing about the Greek gods. This is what I mean when I say that they're flawed. They're flawed like humans are. So Zeus looks down into the video game and he sees a woman and he says fuck me she's gorgeous she's a ride who's she so Zeus

the god decides I'm gonna have to shrink myself down now and go into the video game and try and figure out a way that I can ride her. But this is what I love about Greek mythology. This is quite similar to the story of the birth of Christ. Except with the birth of Christ, God is all loving and he finds a girl called Mary. And through the miracle of immaculate conception, a baby arrives in her womb. And that baby is Jesus. In Greek mythology, it's different. It's a bit more honest in Greek mythology the god Zeus there's no immaculate conception he's like I'm horny and there's a

character in my video game that I want to fuck so I'm gonna shrink myself down into the video game and see about doing it now this woman she's Europa she's a. She's a princess. She's a human being princess, Europa. Princess of the Phoenicians. And she's absolutely gorgeous. And then Zeus, who's a god, starts to get insecure. He's like, fuck it, I'm an old man. I'm not very attractive. She's not going to ride me.

Because the thing is, a bit like Christ, Zeus can't just shrink himself down as a human and walk around reality and go what's the crack everybody I'm Zeus I'm a god because they'll crucify him just like with Jesus you can't go down into the simulation and tell everybody you're a god you're a human no one will believe you they'll turn on you so Zeus is like I can't just go down there and try and ride her what will I do instead he transforms himself into a very beautiful white bull a very exceptional white bull a rare bull and Europa's da has got a herd of cows so Zeus goes down as this white bull and mingles with Europa's father's herd and then Europa is like looking at the herd of cows going fuck me look at that white bull I've never seen a bull as beautiful

as that before that's amazing and then she approaches this white bull and she's cautious but she can't believe that this white bull even though it's massive and it's a bull, is unbelievably friendly and gentle and docile. So Europa decides, I'm going to hop up onto this bull's back. It seems pretty calm. So she does. And then the second she does, Zeus, who's now a bull, fucking legs it with Europa on his back. And he runs all the way across the oceans and brings her to the island of Crete. Then when he gets Europa to Crete and no one else is around Zeus shapeshifts from a

bull into his true form and then he says to Europa look there's no one around I'm not a bull I'm not a bull. I'm actually Zeus. I'm the god Zeus. Do you fancy a ride? And then Europa goes, yeah, fuck it. You're a god. All right, so let's have a ride. So Zeus, who's a god, has sex with Europa, who's a human. And then she gets pregnant. And Europa gives birth to a young fella called Minus. Now Minus is born on Crete. and Minus is now a demigod. He's half human half god. Zeus fucks back up to Mount Olympus to be a god to play the video game and now Minus is a young fella and Europa his human mother says to him your da is a god your dad is zeus so young minus becomes an absolute prick young minus is a dickhead he's like my dad's a god i can do whatever i want he's like the antichrist in a way like with the bible mary got pregnant by god but then jesus is born but jesus is full of love he's a lovely person Jesus is like yeah God is my dad yeah God's

my dad and I'm here to tell everybody that he loves ye and that I love ye. Minus is much more realistic. Minus is like yeah God's my dad you prick do whatever I tell you to do. God's my da. I can do what I want. So Minos in Greek mythology, who's way before Christ, he's a much more realistic Christ. He's a nepo baby. He's a little rich kid shit. He encapsulates the reality of someone being born with privilege. Christ doesn't. So Minos becomes the king of Crete he grows up to become the king of Crete and he does this basically by

the throne is mine, my dad is Zeus and nobody would fuck with him and nobody would test him because it's like what if he is Zeus' son I'm not fighting him, I'll get hit with a lightning bolt tomorrow, Leave him be. So Minos becomes the king of Crete

and he's a bastard. And he gets a wife and her name is Pasiphae. And what happens with King Minos and Pasiphae is fucking nuts. So I'm going to do an ocarina pause before I continue this story. So it's time now for the ocarina pause. You're going to hear some

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That's sunrisechallenge.ca Paperback. I'm just going to do it real gently. You'd think the hard ones are the sore ones. It's not. It's the soft paperback that has a bit of a spring to it. That's what's painful. That was the hitting myself into the head with a collection of short stories pause. Support for this podcast comes from you, the listener, via the Patreon page, patreon.com forward slash theblindboypodcast.

Whatever reason you're listening to this podcast, if it brings you solace, joy, distraction, entertainment, whatever reason you're listening, please consider paying me for the work that I'm doing, because this is my full-time job, it's how I earn a living, it's how I rent out my office. This podcast is only possible because of my patrons. All I'm looking for is the price of a pint or a cup of coffee once a month. That's it. And if you can't afford that, don't worry about it. You can listen for free because the person who's paying is paying for you to listen for free. Everybody gets a podcast. I get to earn a living. It's a wonderful model based on kindness and soundness. Patreon.com forward slash The Blind Boy Podcast.

My brand new collection of short stories, Topographia Hibernica, is coming out in November. Pre-order that, please. You'll find the link on my Instagram, Blind Boy Book Club. You can pre-order that anywhere in the world. Come to my UK live podcast slash book tour which is happening in November. London, Manchester and Edinburgh are sold out so on the 14th of November and the 16th of November we've got Liverpool and Coventry. Liverpool's about to go and Coventry is where the tickets are at so if you did try to get tickets for any of those other dates in England and Scotland, and you fancy a glamorous weekend in Coventry, come down to that Coventry gig. 18th of November, we've got Belfast, the waterfront, nearly sold out.

19th of November, my official Irish book launch, Vicar Street, Dublin. That'll be good crack. And then 2024 in February, right? Berlin. I'm coming to Berlin on the 8th of February in the Babylon Theatre. And those tickets just went on sale a couple of days ago. If you want to come to Berlin, then I'm in Oslo on the 6th, I believe, but those tickets aren't on sale yet. So back to the Greek mythology. So King Minos is on the island of Crete.

And he's the king, and he's got a wife called Pasiphae. And King Minos is a prick. Because his dad is Zeus, the god. Now, while Minos is king, people are always questioning his power. Going, Minos, like like how do we know that Zeus is your dad like how do we know you've just been saying this and we've been going along with it but like where's the proof so Minos is getting worried he's like I'm gonna have to prove to my subjects that I'm definitely Zeus's son because if they call bullshit on this they'll overthrow me so Minos says to his subjects

he says to his people here's what happened Zeus took the shape of a beautiful white bull and that's how he met my mother Europa all right and then the subjects go great story Minos. That's a great story. But like we're going to need to see some proof. So Minos prays to Poseidon. Poseidon is the god of the sea. And Minos prays to Poseidon and says please Poseidon send me a white bull. Send me a beautiful white bull and make it emerge from the sea. And when the people of Crete see this happening they'll know that my legend is true and that I'm really Zeus's son and that I deserve this throne forever. So Poseidon the god of the sea says okay Minos I'm gonna send you a white bull exactly the same as the one that your father turned into right but when I send you this bull you're gonna have to sacrifice it to me

to poseidon the god of the sea okay so king minus says not a problem that's what we do that's what we do here in ancient greece we sacrifice animals to the gods send me the white bull i'll sacrifice it no problem poseidon so poseidon the god of the sea, sends the white bull to Minos. And all the people of Crete see the white bull. And they're like, oh my god, this bull is so beautiful and so white. It must have come from the gods. And then Minos is like, yeah, what an amazing bull. But then Minos is like, fuck me, this is the nicest bull I've ever seen in my life.

I can't sacrifice this bull. It's too beautiful. I want to keep it. And this is the beauty of Greek mythology. If you listen to the podcast I did two weeks ago, where Prometheus showed the humans how to trick the gods through false sacrifices. So Minos decides, no, I'm keeping this fucking white bull. I'm not sacrificing this to Poseidon. And then Minos goes to his herd of cows, then sacrifices a different bull and gives

that to Poseidon. Minos was greedy. Minos failed to show humility. And that's the thing. When it comes to the Greek gods, you must show humility. You must sacrifice. You can't have pride, guilt, jealousy, because you'll incur the wrath of the gods. So Poseidon, the god of the sea, looks at the shitty sacrifice, the shitty bull sacrifice that King Minos has given him, and says, that little cunt I'm gonna get him now and this is another wonderful thing about Greek mythology so Poseidon is a god and so is Zeus and the gods on Mount Olympus who created humanity they're fallible they hate each other

they're jealous they ride each other's wives they get at each other. Poseidon thinks of the most fucked up punishment possible. To punish King Minos and also to take the piss out of King Minos' da, Zeus. So Poseidon goes, Alright so King Minos, you want to keep that beautiful white bull, do you? Okay, you can keep the bull. Here's what I'm going to do. bull do you? Okay you can keep the bull here's what I'm gonna do. So he puts a spell on King Minos's wife Pasiphae so that she falls deeply in love with the white bull. So Minos is thrilled he's king of Crete all his subjects are like yeah this dude is definitely the son of Zeus look at that white bull everything's perfect and then all of a sudden Pasiphae the queen

she's not coming to bed anymore she's not sleeping in Minus's bed they're not having sex Pasiphae just wants to fuck that white bull and she can't stop thinking about it and her heart is breaking because she wants to have sex with an animal and she does everything she can she goes down to that bull she tries to seduce the bull there's nothing she can do because the bull doesn't want to have sex with a human the bull is an animal just doesn't want to do it and pacify's heart is breaking and then minus is fuckingified. Because all the subjects are like, his fucking wife wants to have sex with a bull. They laugh at him. He has power, but he has no respect.

They're laughing at him. So Pasiphae can't get over these desires. So she calls upon a fella called Daedalus. Now Daedalus is a master craftsman. He's an inventor. He's like a Leonardo da Vinci type character. And Pasiphae says to Daedalus, I need to have sex with this bull, alright?

Make it happen, Daedalus. Fucking make it happen. So Daedalus says, I know what I'm going to do. He builds a wooden cow. A really attractive looking wooden cow. and puts a cow hide on it. But he has it designed so that Pasiphae, King Minos' wife, can climb inside the cow with her arse sticking out at the end. So she strips off, gets naked, climbs inside the wooden cow, bent over. Then the beautiful white bull comes over, sees the wooden cow, thinks it's a real cow,

and goes, I'll have a bit of that. And then the white bull starts having sex with the wooden cow, but without knowing it, he's actually having sex with Pasiphae. And you see, Poseidon, the god of the sea, knew what he was doing. He was taking the piss out of Zeus, because remember, Zeus shrunk himself down to become a bull so that he could have sex with Europa and that's how Minos was born. So it's a big joke among the gods. But what happens anyway is Pasiphae gets pregnant. Now Pasiphae,

a human, is pregnant by a bull, by the magical white bull. King Minos is a laughingstock in his kingdom. Nine months pass and Pasiphae gives birth to this creature that has the head of a bull and the body of a human. And it's a ferocious baby. It's not kind, it can't be tamed, it's a terrifying baby. And it starts growing real quickly as the days pass, wandering around King Minos's palace and soon this creature grows massive and can't be controlled and it becomes known as the Minotaur

the body of a man in the head of a bull this ferocious vicious creature and it becomes a real symbol of shame in the kingdom and all the subjects are talking about King Minos's weird son that's half bull, half bull and half human, this ferocious son. And he's mortally embarrassed. And soon they find out that the Minotaur has an appetite for eating children. And now the people of Crete have to donate their children so the Minotaur can eat them. And the people are getting real upset about this so then king minus is like what are we gonna do with the minotaur what are we gonna do so king minus gets onto deadless deadless is the dude who built the sex cow and he says to deadless

sort out this fucking minotaur it's eating children so deadless builds a giant maze a labyrinth something that you so complicated that it can never be escaped. And they bring the Minotaur to the center of this maze and they put it on Crete. And the Minotaur is forever wandering this maze. It can never escape because it's too confusing, but it still needs a diet of children and the thing is Minus is like I can't I can't be going to my own people and saying give me your children there so I can feed my weird bull son so Minus because he's a prick he goes to Athens a different province and he says to Athens you have to give me a tribute once a year I want six young boys and six young girls to feed to my weird bull son, all right?

And if you don't give me this, I'm going to invade you with my army. So Athens now have to give tribute of 12 children a year, taking them from their homes. And of course, the people of Athens don't like this at all. Sending their little children to a labyrinth, to a maze in Crete for the poor little kids to have to get lost in the maze and then be eaten by a weird bull. So this goes on for years and years. And as you can imagine, the people of Athens start to really, really hate King Minos because they have to send their children off to the island to be eaten. So then the king of Athens, right, who's called Aegis.

Aegis has a son, right, but he doesn't want his son to grow up to be a privileged little prick. His son's name is Theseus. Theseus grows up not knowing that he's a prince, not knowing that he's royal. He's like the exact opposite of Minos. He has no privilege because he grows up with humility. He's just a regular normal boy with no knowledge that he's actually the heir to the throne of Athens. And this is all deliberate. It's all for, like I said, humility. Humility is the big theme of Greek mythology. So he grows up as a kid. He becomes a fine warrior. And then once he reaches a certain age his mother comes to him and says you're actually the king's son you're you actually are going to inherit this kingdom but we didn't

want to tell you until you're the right age so theseus is full of courage and strength and integrity because he's lived a life of humility and the the time comes where the six boys from Athens and girls from Athens are sent to Crete to go to the labyrinth to be eaten by the Minotaur. And Theseus volunteers. Theseus says, I want to be one of these boys who's going to be eaten by this bull man. And you know what? When I get into that labyrinth I'm gonna fucking kill the minotaur so then the king of Athens Theseus his da Aegis he comes down and says son I'm so proud of you you're so brave but I'm worried I'm gonna be sick with worry so if you succeed in killing the minotaur when you sail back make sure your sail is white so i'm not waiting for the news i

want to be able to see from a distance that you succeeded and if you die make sure that the sailors who come back have a black sail so that i can see that you've died because i won't be able to wait for the information so theseus says not a bother da i'm gonna do that black sail if I die white sail if I win. So Theseus arrives in Crete with all the rest of the kids the rest of the kids go in they're all eaten immediately by the minotaur Theseus is the last one now it's not looking good because Theseus isn't he's not a god he's a human being He's a teenage boy with a knife, that's it, and he has to take on this gigantic weird bull man in a labyrinth that you can't escape.

The odds are against him, but Theseus is confident because he's a ferocious warrior and he reckons, I'm definitely going to kill that minotaur, without question. But what I'm worried about is, it's the fucking labyrinth. Daedalus invented this thing, you can't escape this labyrinth even if I go in there and I do kill the minotaur I'm never going to get out I'm going to die. Now just as he's about to enter the labyrinth there's a girl waiting outside and her name is Ariadne and she's King Minos's daughter and she hates her da because her da is a fucking prick and within

Greek mythology if you're a prick if you're prideful if you don't express humility your actions will come back to haunt you the people closest to you will seek revenge on you so Ariadne his daughter pulls out a magical ball of twine and she hands this to Theseus. She says when you go into the labyrinth this magical twine here this is never ending right so just spool the twine and never let go and when you get to the minotaur and kill him just follow the twine back and then you'll have solved the labyrinth. So that's what Theseus does. He spools the twine all through the winds and bends of the labyrinth. He meets the minotaur, takes out the dagger and decapitates the minotaur, kills him and then finds his way out of the labyrinth by following the twine that Ariadne put there.

He emerges from the labyrinth with the fucking minotaur's head in one hand and Ariadne waiting for him and the people are like oh my god this hero killed the minotaur this wasn't supposed to be possible. Now Ariadne is freaking out she's like my da King Minos is gonna go apeshit he's gonna kill me because I helped you so then Theseus says you know what Ariadne let's get on a ship and you accompany me back to Athens and I'm gonna marry you and you know what I'm actually the king's son so I'm gonna become king of Athens and you can become my queen Ariadne how does that sound she falls madly in love with him. So they both sail back for Athens. Now Theseus starts getting kind of cocky on the ship. Theseus is like, I fucking

killed the Minotaur. I'm a legend. I am. And then he starts getting kind of annoyed with Ariadne. He kind of starts going, I could probably do better than her. I know she said she's in love with me and her dad would kill her if she stayed on Crete, but I'm not that into her to be honest. So he parks the boat on an island called Naxos and just kicks Ariadne off and abandons her on an island. He's like, fuck her. I'm going to go back to Athens and I'll be a hero and I'm going to ride every woman I see. I'll be a fucking legend. And at that moment, he's being prideful. He's not showing humility.

He's not emotionally regulating. His head is up his arse. The emotions of pride and arrogance, grandeur. All of these emotions are taking over Theseus. And his head is slowly disappearing up his arse. And what happens when you're not emotionally regulated, when you're not thinking, he forgets to change the sail on the ship

from black to white. He forgets about it because he's not being humble. His head is up his hole. So he's sailing back going, I'm fucking legend, I am. Fuck her man, I'm gonna loads of riding now,'s sailing back going. I'm fucking legend. I am. Fuck her man. I'm going to. Loads of riding now.

I'm going to be the king. Fucking legend. But then his poor da ages. His poor da is in Athens now. And he's looking over the sea. Worried sick. My poor young Philothesius. I hope he hasn't been killed by that Minotaur.

So his da is looking towards Crete. And what does he see? A black sail coming towards him. Aegis is heartbroken. And then he immediately jumps into the sea and takes his own life. And that's why that sea is called the Aegean Sea. Takes his own life. And then Theseus arrives back to Athens and realises that his pride

and his grandeur and his lack of humility was responsible for his father's death and he's completely overcome with sorrow and regret and sadness and he's crowned king of Athens but at what price and he's called the legend who killed the Minotaur, but at what price? He doesn't have integrity anymore, and he caused the death of someone he loves. Meanwhile, back on Crete, King Minos has gone apeshit.

The Athenians are after making fucking idiots out of me. I don't know where my daughter is gone, and she's after running off with fucking Theseus and they're after killing my bull son. They've made us look like fools. So King Minus, who is not known for his humility or emotional regulation, he decides to give in to the emotion of blame. Who can I blame? Who can I blame for doing this? And he picks Daedalus. You. You designed the maze. You designed the labyrinth that put the fucking Minotaur in there.

You designed the sex cow. You designed the sex cow that allowed my wife to have sex with that fucking bull. This is all your fault, Daedalus. Now, Daedalus is harmless. Daedalus is just an inventor. He's a servant. He does what people ask of him but deadless now is stuck on the island of crete he's stuck on an island and the king

minos wants him fucking dead so all the soldiers at land are scrambling all around crete trying to find deadless so they can kill him deadless hasalus has a son called Icarus who he loves and adores. Daedalus doesn't want to die. He doesn't want his son to die. He can't escape Crete. He can't escape this island because he knows that King Minos controls every route on land and every route on sea. So what the fuck is Daedalus going to do? He's trapped on an island and the soldiers are closing in on him and his son what's he gonna do so deadless decides king minus controls the sea and the land he doesn't control the air so he puts his talents as an inventor he has a good think what can i do

here so deadless says to his son icarus find as many feathers as you can right around the island so icarus goes off finding feathers and brings him back to deadless so deadless gets the feathers and a lot of sticks and he makes a set of wings for him and his son and he sticks the feathers to the sticks using wax, using beeswax. And Daedalus says to his son Icarus, here's the deal, we're going to fly off the island of Crete, and we're going to escape the ships, and we're going to escape the soldiers, right? You just got to follow me, flap your wings,

and we're going to fly off the island, all right? Is that understood, Icarus? And Icarus goes, yeah, that's understood, da. But Daedalus says, here's the deal, Icarus? And Icarus goes, yeah, that's understood da, but Daedalus says, here's the deal Icarus, don't fly too low, because the sea is damp, and that'll weigh the wings down, but definitely don't fly too high, because if you fly too high, you get really close to the sun, and then the sun will melt the wax on the wings, and then we'll die then too. So you gotta fly perfectly in the middle. Icarus says, yeah, I hear you, Dad. Let's do it.

Let's leave. So they flap their wings and Daedalus and Icarus are now flying in the air and leaving Crete. And Minos is looking up going, those fucking pricks. How did he do that? I can't get him with my boats and I can't get him with my soldiers. They're escaping. So Daedalus and Icarus are escaping and it's going real well over the sea. But then Icarus the young fella, he's like, Jesus Christ, this is unreal. Fuck me, I'm flying. I'm a human and I'm flying. Humans aren't supposed to fly. This is incredible. Wow. And then Icarus

starts flying too high. He loses the run of himself. He doesn't show humility. He doesn't show humility and he starts getting cocky and the higher he goes the closer he gets to the sun and then the sun melts the wax on the wings and Icarus drowns. He drowns just off the coast of Italy and that's known as the Icarian Sea now and poor old Daedalus makes it as far as Sicily I believe and again he's just heartbroken because he's escaped but at what cost his poor little son is dead and again what you get is humility. It's all humility. Icarus failed to express humility and when he didn't express humility he didn't have emotional regulation

the emotion of pride and hubris took over and controlled his actions and the gods got their revenge the gods decided hubris there you go buddy you're gonna drown so that's all I have time for this week. I hope you enjoyed that. I've been devouring Greek mythology, as you can tell.

It's fucking fascinating. It's astounding. And the mad thing for me is I feel like I'm discovering it. Like it's an obscure band that I want to show everybody. Like it's an obscure band that I want to show everybody. But this is the cornerstone of Western philosophy and Western thought and Western civilization. The history of the West has been various cultures deciding. Let's go back and see what the Greeks did.

What were the Greeks saying about that? So I'm discovering fuck all. In the meantime, rub a dog and wink at a swan i'll catch you next week rock city you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now

to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.