The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - A Slice of Heaven (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

Ari Shaffir joins The Bonfire just in time to hear Jay's wacky sex stories!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.Siriu...sXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to seriousexem.com slash bonfire for a special offer. And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. So this is the bonfire on Series XM, Faction Talk, one of those days. Yeah, it is. That's Big J, I'm Dan. I thought I wanted to go with real like, you know familiar
Starting point is 00:00:28 You know Black Lucy Lou You got Christine And Jacob a taught in Florida for a short time Jay Busy he's coming back. Jay busy coming home always with shakes it off You're so upset. The press the hell out of me. What did? Lou, the press the hell out of me has been texting me, especially during the pre tape just telling me how fucking cold the studio is.
Starting point is 00:00:54 He's wearing his hood and I like it a lot of you. It's cold. It's it's cold in here right now. There's it's blowing out like it's cold. There's blowing out of the thing. It's like they don't know we're here. In between pre tape and a live show, I always go for a sunny bike ride. It's all fucking over.
Starting point is 00:01:13 Wait a minute. Wait, really? You really have a slice of heaven like that? You just go have a nice bike ride in the sun. And then you can come with us when we get pre-packaged tuna sandwiches from Helen Hardy and then smoke powerfully. Maybe move to New Jersey. I don't know why I feel like that would be better for you. I don't know. Which was a jersey for growing up, but I'm I didn't like it there much much more than I did New York.
Starting point is 00:01:42 You're definitely going to like it. I used to commute two hours to series and back. Well, don't go that far. Let's do it. It was crazy. What's it? How can we how can we soften this blow, dude? Because this sounds a get it. I don't realize your best chest here. How do you say time to go from my ride? God. Hey, Phil. That was the how was the first show, Jacob. He's like, yeah, there's two good subjects. We got stretched a little long. You want to get your real dial with a couple outfits. Yeah, you want us to buy you a lady? You want us to buy you a lady? Here's a airplane going by.
Starting point is 00:02:16 In that studio. It's what's getting to me. I already but but I had brought a last time I was up. I already brought up blanket, serious sex. I just want to warm her in the fucking studio. Jacob, I'm begging you, not to wear a blanket in the studio. People are going to think you're going to beat and dog or something. Dude, it's a little fun. Go full, John Snow, Jacob. Where that jacket, where that blanket over your shoulders?
Starting point is 00:02:40 Yeah, I'd rather, I'd really rather you just wear a jacket and studio is better than a blanket. Wait, if you think you're confused, I'm doing that also. It's not one or the other full winner coat and a blanket. Well, no, I have. You know what I hope boy, hope a woman doesn't ever walk in here. Yeah, because you're gonna look like you're at a high school football game outside in December. I guess we'll wait to have dinky back in till fucking summertime. She goes, does he have like a blood disease?
Starting point is 00:03:04 Yeah, it's a shake. It's a shake. Okay. I don't give a fuck now. I just want to be warm. Yeah, dude, walk around like Linus with your blanket. All right, Nana. Jesus. That's Jacob and his pinky.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Oh, what am I out there trying to get laid as something I'm just trying to be warm? Where's my leg blanket? Lewis is just as cold as I am. He just doesn't bring it up. Black blue, but I catch all the heat. Do we, do we give you guys, is it a meat locker in here? What's going on? Change it. I'm, I think it's cold in here. So I'm doing everything you guys want to do. You guys want to get space heaters? You want to get
Starting point is 00:03:38 fucking nuts? If Jay thinks it's cold, I'm fine. Like I'm not, you know, I don't need a small blanket, no winter coat on. You have to keep it at 40 for J's of penguin. If it goes over, I am getting a little bit, I guess colder as I get older, colder as I get older, because I will say in hotels now, I keep it about like 69, 68 or 69. and I pop it up to 70 during the day. Yeah, I'm just like watching TV or something because I Started getting again like my legs You're just hearing people get old on a radio show. Yeah, my legs are By way my legs probably I probably have terrible circulation, so my legs get fucking freezing.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Do you want to just- So I do now, but I used to go to a hotel room and pin it to 65 right away. And if it was some of the ones that can let you go down to like the 50s, I've made a hotel room like 57 degrees before. Now my method to my madness is getting up to that out of bed those got to be broo it sucks and David Lee slept in clothes and I'm just right. I'm sure but like he was camping as if a zip up hoodie. Yeah, but however, we would play video games that room and you'd be like undercover a late on my tum tum undercover's and playing
Starting point is 00:05:03 video games when it's cold in the room and if you get a little hot into the blank you you stick a footy out and it gets super cold again it's great dude the maids the maids must have thought you guys were fucking zombies walking in there and just being like yeah 55 degrees oh yeah Dave looks like a zombie slept in his full clothes yeah looks like he died four clothes. Yeah, let's see. Die. Oh, my God. Wow.
Starting point is 00:05:23 I think you 68 normal. I think. Is that hold? That's 68 where you should keep it. 68. I agree. Yeah. I think 2070.
Starting point is 00:05:36 I don't know. Who are these other people that are walking around keeping it at 80? I don't think you just. Oh, yes. Really? There are. His name is Jacob. What do you keep your hotel room? He is wrong. See that's
Starting point is 00:05:46 That's your your myth. I don't like it hot in the studio. I just don't like it freezing 70s good 70 70s fair. I think my dad could go for a nice 71 74 is the air conditioners not on 74s as a asshole Remember we spent the night there and we had to go stay at a hotel because the EC wasn't. Oh yeah, I left the next day. My good dad's cool and all, but like fuck that. I remember going to Carlis dad's place in Florida and he's a big guy too, but he had just gotten Floridaized. Yeah. And he did like his AC didn't kick on until it was 80 degrees.
Starting point is 00:06:25 That's what it kept it at. 80. No. A bunch of yapping Yorkies or edits. It was crazy. Oh, you're sweating. There's really like a step in you. You just want to be anywhere else.
Starting point is 00:06:36 You want to be anywhere else. Yeah. And about was that that going there though was times where I was too broke to really get a hotel. It wasn't even an option. Like, I was happy to say we went to Christine's dad. That's like being able to get a hotel's a lot. Your dad's great, but like, we're out.
Starting point is 00:06:50 We're out. Yeah, yeah. We gotta stay in a hotel. Pff, for sure. Smart. Yeah, I think we only stayed at your parents once and then we did a hotel's. Did we stay at my mom's once?
Starting point is 00:07:00 Oh my God, when? Long time ago. In like my brother's room or something like that? in my old bedroom. What's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, what's your old, it's good. It does have sexually some cool and good memories But like it wasn't where I grew up sure. It's not the neighbor I grew up in his and now at 44 I'd say I grew up there because I was my eyes are still a kid it fucking 16 moving there. Yeah, but my point is when I moved there at 16 1623 Pretty big years. They're big years, but it just like it didn't feel like my bulk was there. Is your entire relationship with Cheryl? Damn, do you?
Starting point is 00:07:46 Yeah, yeah. I think Christine's doing a biography on you. She's just had three facts right off the hip. Cheryl was, she's like, he lived there. I feel like she's giving me a tour of Jay, where she's like, and 2003 brought along a different year because that bitch Cheryl's gone. That bitch. That fucking bitch.
Starting point is 00:08:03 She was out of his life. What are we, what's Cheryl's gone. That bitch. That fucking bitch. That's terrible. It was out of his life. Um, what are we what Cheryl's doing? Look her up. I think she's underneath these same bright stars. Can you look her up? Yeah. Has he ever said her name in his sleep? He's like, Cheryl, I can't again.
Starting point is 00:08:18 No. No, I mean, Cheryl's a long time ago now. Yeah, you were, you were a wee boy. But she was, uh, yeah, she's pretty rad in so many ways. Again, hindsight things take out all like the shit stuff. It doesn't matter at all. Neon Nazi dad. Yeah, forget all that.
Starting point is 00:08:34 No, that was the Neon Nazi dad was the girl is my virginity. All right, I'm from Wompingham, that was Holly. Yeah, Holly was a dead head. Good name. Holly, I'm going to lose your virginity to Holly. Holly, Holly was a dead head name. Holly lose your journey to Holly's a solid Holly was a dead head who fucking had the tattoo of the bears are in a rank and she was molested and yikes and what was the other? Oh, and her dad was the neo-nazi. Yeah, lot going on there. Lock going on.
Starting point is 00:09:03 22 and I met her as still being molested, which was really. At 22. Yeah. It was so weird. She got grandfathered in quite literally. No, she got Uncle didn't. The uncle was my neighbor. She moved in with her uncle to go to. She was just so like, I think you it was just like their thing at this point that she moved there to be closer to I think it was just like their thing at this point that she moved there to be closer to Hanuman University. She went to school there. Her uncle was just like, did she tell you uncle? Did she tell, when you were, when you lost your virginity to her, did she bring it up to
Starting point is 00:09:35 you? She was like, also, you know, you're not the only guy I'm seeing. I don't know. She's so crazy. What happened was crazier. She knew this about that. Really? I never knew.
Starting point is 00:09:44 I told this on the show before, but this was crazy. It was crazy. It was crazy. I never knew this about that. Really? I never knew that. I thought I told this on the show before, but this was nuts. I've we have smoked a lot of weed, so maybe, and I'm sorry if you're repeating it. But I'm learning it for the first time. It's just fucking me. One day. My name's on the show.
Starting point is 00:09:56 I'm doing it for me. Before. I think before we fucked, or maybe after we fucked once or twice, she was at my place. Nice like you through the twice and she was that probably about it out like twice three times Maybe five. Oh, no, no, we fucked a bunch Yeah, it was pretty I'm about to say a bunch maybe like 15 times. I was great Yeah, and then I started dating somebody which I thought was gonna make her so happy for me And then she was the devastated. Yeah She's grooming you dude, but she had the devastated. Yeah. She's grooming you, dude.
Starting point is 00:10:25 But she had a boyfriend. Yeah, but she's still grooming you. Whatever. Either way, young sex. Already dunked my dude. It'll do. Doesn't matter. Thank you, Black Lou. Dunked my dude. Oh, it was a good one. But yeah, she is after I was doing it a little bit, or not at all, she was at my house. We used to do a lot of flirty silly shit, but it was like her letting me see things. I remember that she's wearing like umbrose and she wasn't wearing underwear,
Starting point is 00:10:58 or I could see her pussy hair like still on the side of the underwear. So whatever it was, you get her wet shorts. Those shorts are gonna be a mess. She'd give me those shorts on purpose. So she'd give me those like views on purpose. And I'd be like, this is great.
Starting point is 00:11:10 And then we went out in the golf course once with a very loud blanket. And- Like one of those Navajo ones, or things like the Mexican blanket with all the- I think we made out and she blew me, I think. Well, on a golf course? Night time, late night. We lived on a golf course night time late night
Starting point is 00:11:25 We live on a golf course. We're my mom's house. Yeah, but just night getting Fucking central place to get sucked off on a bunker in the night. It's completely dark and and an empty Side story back to your one time I was hammered at the bar by my mom's apartment and I was talking to waitress is like 13 14 years ago and I was hammered at the bar by my mom's apartment and I was talking to waitress just like 13 14 years ago and I was like And I'm stay I didn't say I was saying with my mom, but I'm like I'm staying over it This place like we can walk around the golf course the lady was like what No, I was like okay, cuz I think there's there's like a hot tub I first thought talking about a hot tub hot tub and then I knew and then I had to just be like if this is you know Maybe we can go take a walk
Starting point is 00:12:11 Would you like to go for a walk? Of course that's so many great nooks and Teenager, there's perfect. I don't mail weird that parking lot of the one of the parking lots We're little parking areas of that place is where my cousin's friend whacked me off and and stared at my face the entire time she did. And then by the way, double down by reiterating it, that's her thing. That's it. So I like to look staring at his face while I jack him off and I was like, how close? Like aliens close?
Starting point is 00:12:38 Like where your face? No, not that close. She was intimidating me. She was never. She was big, she was big, powdery lips and she't intimidating me. Yeah, she's never. She's a big, big, powdery lip. And she was looking at you like, and she was looking at me while she was beating my dick. And I'm like, that's again, same thing I always say,
Starting point is 00:12:52 all you can do is go, it's good. It feels good. Just fucking working this right now. Looking right, she was like, I like to look at guys face by Jack and she was like, yeah, you're like, it was just like, I was too young for that to be like, you were you shifted because you're in a car. Were you shifted over?
Starting point is 00:13:10 So she was, she was, was she jerking you like this? Was she jerking you like this? No, no, no. Or was she jerking you like this? I was, she drove me home. Okay. She drove me to this little parking area. Nice.
Starting point is 00:13:21 And I'm in the passenger seat. Got it. And she pulled my dick out and started, she didn't suck it. She started jerking it off. Dry, completely dry. Maybe spit. I don't remember. I don't remember that being an issue that it was dry or anything. Yeah. I think I was hard right away. All these things. You're ready. You know, she just started jerking me off, but like she was turned like sideways But she was legs were still under the wheel. Yeah, she was turns sideways and just sitting up Completely jerking me off and fucking looking at me looking right in my face in the passenger's
Starting point is 00:13:55 What was the look was the look like we're too serious too serious. It was very serious like angry No, it was like it gets me off to observe your things Then you feel this need like I'm like what are you I'm again. I'm so young I'm like what reactions do I give to a fucking hand job? I don't want to go like oh here comes I wish there was video or audio that come I bet I did something hilarious I'm finishing you know. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm coming so hard On your hands please let go of me. Oh, no it tickles. No don't talk to me. I'm sad and scared Do you heard your summer love and beat me a jack?
Starting point is 00:14:42 Her summer love and beat me off. Mia Jack. It's better than her. Where is it? It's better than her giving you lizard watch, where she watches you and then like, turn to her. Oh yeah, like confusion face. Yeah. No, it was very aggressive.
Starting point is 00:14:55 She was, I was psyched on it when it happened, but it was afterwards it was very weird. I think I fingered her also in her pussy smell like baby powder. Hey. Which I think I started like a rumor like how fucking gross is that but it's not a terrible smell for a pussy It could be way worse. Wait, you just kicked out a rumor that her pussy smell like baby powder. Yeah, I think just like a shit talk with my cousin or something Nothing was like no, it wasn't like a New Mill high school. You didn't do a press tour now But yeah, and in hindsight, I'm like, smell our worst things
Starting point is 00:15:26 in busses. What was the conversation like after she fucking grills you while beating you off? I don't remember. The beauty is we were right by my house. Just pop out of the parking lot. Do you know what I mean? So, drop me right off.
Starting point is 00:15:37 You're drained. Yeah. Why am I turned on? I was hooked up with a couple of my cousin's friends. He really, she was a It was a real feeding ground of husk, but like just left of hot What's your cousin's name Vicki, so it's like Vicki's discount pussy She's like, yeah, you're like oh dude you're an outlet
Starting point is 00:16:05 Yeah, you got you got cousin outlet girls. Yo, cause. Yeah, this one fucking was born under power lines, but it's cool. Uncle Tommy's daughter, dude. Dude, that's fucking. Vic, yeah, she had another friend. One other friend that I, we didn't fuck, but we like, same thing kind of like fold around a bit before.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Like she ended up like getting married, having kids and like following something online where it's like just getting to shit kicked out of or she's getting Michelle aid. Wait, what? Buy her husband or something and it's like her on the run from him and like I just watch and it's drama and fold.
Starting point is 00:16:34 He goes, yeah, he'll find us and kill us if I go to my mom. So I go, oh geez. What was this all on Facebook? Yeah. Jesus. And if he finds us all murderous, but it's okay. I have a, I wear a beard now. So it's okay. I have a I wear a beard now So it's okay. We moved to the lighthouse and this is a girl. You had a soft teenage kiss with now
Starting point is 00:16:51 Definitely more it was like a finger blasts. I was probably about the fuck thing. Yeah, that's like you know I don't know. That's a family. That's a fairly soft teenage kiss. Not much as an adult. I will say but definitely as a young adult and teenager fuck years I had a lot of like, it stops here or situations. Like something just interrupted it. I've had a lot of weird interrupted fucking in like a comedic way or in like they were it was getting broken up. No, would it always be something?
Starting point is 00:17:23 Like again, but I think I told you like the girl one girl's like rubbing my weaner on her pus and then What's up, dude? Glant and his girlfriend were up on the bed. Yeah, Ari. Ari Shafir joining us mid we're talking J's teenage sex to him. Do you have those glen rules? Oh, I know glen. I took a stance and I don't stand by. Glenn, he doesn't mean that. He's just coming to firing shots. He's just firing shots.
Starting point is 00:17:48 But Glenn was on the, with his girlfriend on the bed and I was on the floor with her friend. And I mean, I was like, I was like rubbing, like tip to her pussy and, and Maria, that's Glenn's girlfriend. Her sister barges in the room. Oh, yeah, you said that. Yeah, she was like super hot and she goes. Sorry guys I just got to change something real quick and she just lifts up her skirt and changes her panties in the room And now I'm so worked up so I'm like this girl's cute too
Starting point is 00:18:14 Yeah, but I'm like oh Fucking the sister got me all worked up. I figured a name now. I'm changing her panties. I fuck only knows it doesn't make any sense Still walking was a was her name. That's a good name for a Neena, an older sister just coming in and completely changing. I have to change my panties. Yeah, that's a section. I got to wait. Let me tell you the other horrible thing that's going on at this time too. Me and Glenn are there. Glenn's girlfriend was younger than him. The girl I was gonna go was young. And so we're going like, let's say these are just being like 17 and like 15s. Okay, what's happening there.
Starting point is 00:18:47 And then what's going on is, but you're gonna give us some Thailand. That's not, I'm saying, but just to say how weird the stuff works is that Nina who came in, actually the older sister who was, why is there? Pota Pusia was R.H. Hey guys.
Starting point is 00:19:00 She's dating guys that are like 23. Yeah. She put, everyone plays up. Girl, that time, I don't know if that's the case now. I don't think that's the case now.. Everyone plays up. Girl, that's time. I don't know if that's the case now. I don't think that's the case now. I don't know. Yeah, girls consistently,
Starting point is 00:19:09 hot girls play up a division. Yeah, they play way up a division. What do you want to fuck up 14 year old? Yeah, or a guy, or a guy with a bank account. No, I don't like the accusing tone of what you said. I mean, if you're a hot 14 year old girl, you could do better than a sub 14 year old. Dude, you guys boys at 14?
Starting point is 00:19:23 Yeah. I was, you know, do you know? I thought there's a 14. I thought there was an outside shot wrestling was still real and you also you were a year a Reluctant year removed from playing with your guys. It took my father's death To break me from action figures action figures. I loved him. I know loved my guys. Right shout out my guys Shout out all the guys that Trish got rid of in a massive garage sale. That's the story of Toy Story 3 tonight. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:19:48 I love those guys. But that was, it was interesting that those move ups. But this was going back to... I want to look up the girl... The girl was my virginity too. And Cheryl. Because the reason we're having this party... The party one?
Starting point is 00:20:02 Yeah. But the thing I didn't tell you was is we said about her being like molest Yeah, so that was the so in between us Bonfire context for anyone that's listening now and also to catch up our friend our shafir on it is gross My virginity to yeah the older lady partner on Yeah, yeah She was being molested by her uncle the entire time. Oh She had moved from her neo-Nazi father's house.
Starting point is 00:20:27 Her Nazi father's house. Yeah. Into her uncle's house who was molesting her. Yeah. He was the married into the family one. He dressed like Gallagher. He used to be a merchant marine. So my question to Jay will fight me once.
Starting point is 00:20:39 Did she ever tell you really? You're a little old man. Did I? Did she? I, oh, yes. Really? Yeah. See, I never knew that he knew that she was being molested while they were fucking. You're a little old man. Did I did I did jealousy? I? Yes, really? Yeah So I never knew that he knew that she was being molested while they were fucking that was the question
Starting point is 00:20:50 Right, and she was 22 years old, but she was living with him and we got a call There's a call one day and we were up in my room. I think me and her and my mom called my mom said a holly like you're Your uncle's in the phone for you. It's way before so- And she picked up the photo in my room and I guess my mom didn't hang up right away
Starting point is 00:21:11 and it was like, come home. He needed sperm sample for the doctor and that she needs her help. That's ringing bells for me, I think. Yeah, and my mom, and mom like like heard that was like Oh my god really and then I think and then she ultimately yeah, I kind of told me the thing It was like there was the whole like big wrestling Call it wrestling and I was like you know fuck this guy, but then I said she was
Starting point is 00:21:36 Fucking me and presenting it like this is just to get you like Go on I'm jumpstarting She's not trying to get you to like kill her uncle Go on I'm jumpstarting I'm not trying to get you like kill her uncle No, that'd be way great dude. We'll be on who you know what 2020 shit. I'm already I'm already locked in I'm in the story so much that when already says that I'd be like if they reveal that to me Like I'll do it. I'll kill your uncle. That's how I do it. It's how you roast How did he do it it's gypsy rose dude?
Starting point is 00:22:02 She was a little wack that I told you one time she brought me she had a sister. I think it was still born or It's hot died and then she wanted that we fucked like she took me to like show her the grave site And then we went somewhere else in the graveyard and fucked it was very well. Yeah, it's very weird dude. It was very odd But she was a great fit fan But I love Jerry in the boys, but boys. But the thing with the uncle was, uh, yeah, my mom, I found that. So, you know, but she ended up telling me about it and then she moved back in.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Do you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, did you think, dude. Damn, if you don't, if you don't, she became a nurse, I think does like fine. I think she's, I think she's relatively adjusted. But that's wild though. Do you think you would have gotten any if he hadn't been molesting her? Do I owe him something? And it was a question I've wrestled with a lot.
Starting point is 00:22:58 Did he prime it? I didn't mean to be so callous with that wording. I'm just saying, we all know it's a terrible situation. It was horrible to me. It was like, I was like, but do you think I don't down the facts? I don't know. And I almost try to remember if she was particularly good at what she did at the time. I have a particular set of skills.
Starting point is 00:23:22 If you've got my uncle's forced on me. Well, she was also You're like trust and trickering To 22 is young at the time. I felt like I was having sex with a lady. You were 22's a lady 22's a woman, dude. It's a woman. That's a college grad. Yeah, that's a woman. Not this one You were still in nursing school and you were 17. She was in nursing school. Yeah. What do you mean? She was in tech school or grad school. Nursing nursing school. How do I mean? How do I mean university? What does that mean? She's learning how to be a nurse. I know. No, but I mean,
Starting point is 00:23:51 is that after college before college instead of college instead of college? It's like beautiful instead of college. It's not a poor prestigious than, but that's no, you track. It's it's right your college. It's called. Yes, the nursing program is like you're going to take these maths and these science. It's like a track. But like, I don't know why I answered that like I knew. Yeah. It was a textbook. So nurse, I have to believe it's like, I feel like it's like a game shot. I was trying to get to your buzzer. You got that's amazing. That's how right? There's just like a track you take. Yeah. I think it's like a major. Yes. Is there a class where they fuck teenage boys to get him ready for manhood? No, okay if it was though she should teach it
Starting point is 00:24:27 Man this that being laid on you at 17 you are losing you're losing your virginity to do an older woman And then you are too crazy. You're in trouble. I mean like I was it was pretty jarring This guy is Nazi shit. Yeah, it was pretty fucking jarring. And I didn't grow up like super religious, but we were Jewish, like the family was in the world. You know we always know we were Jewish. You're not there anybody. If there's a barbecue, you're going there. No, there's probably some sort of...
Starting point is 00:24:57 It's weird your dad's in that, but it wouldn't be so scary. To me it was like, I was like, oh shit, this guy know, like he might get furious. Oh yeah. Especially I'm fucking his daughter. He would have got furious. Yeah more so But he like he really liked me because I just played nice and I'd go and fuck his daughter in his own house I thought that was the that was the my mom even I was answering my mom my mom even had a little bit like yeah Give it to her up there
Starting point is 00:25:22 He even had a little bit of like, yeah, give it to her up there. What is that? Give it for our people. She did have a little bit of, she was, she was, he did, he's, because that's the thing. That's all my mom when he was like, he ordered pizza for dinner when they invited me to stay for pizza. And he started complaining about the pizza and saying it because of the fucking Jews, fuck the economy up with their
Starting point is 00:25:38 blah, blah, blah shit. And I was just like, it was that thing where there's enough where you were going. Like, I was like, do I tell him that I'm just Jewish, but I would just be like, hey man, like just chill with this stuff when I'm here, even, you know what I mean? And I just was like, I'm literally gonna go fuck her.
Starting point is 00:25:53 In 15 minutes, I'm gonna be like dropping dick and your daughter to the forest gump soundtrack. And that's just absolutely what it's gonna be. Share my words, but from running on, running on empty daddy's Man the moment to speak up and then you're like, no, I can actually really get the good revenge instead of the awkward We're gonna blow it for yourself. Yeah, I was like somebody I just make the whole thing weird and I can't come over anymore Or I could just keep yeah, what are you gonna lay the law that like who does it? I'm gonna change my yeah, he said I also quick question the the uncle that was who's it? You're gonna change his mind. Cause an idiot. He's set.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Guy also, quick question. The uncle that was molesting her, was that his brother? Oh, good morning. The toy marry, it's her mom's sister. Her mom's sister's husband. Yeah. Where was the mom's sister? Where was the mom's sister?
Starting point is 00:26:38 Where was the mom's sister? Yeah. He was there. Oh, she, oh, she would just wait, when she worked. He was like a retired, damn. Like guy, it it was a little old man, but when I stopped and he got jealous when I stopped you were her young lover He didn't he didn't show it in that regard But he did was way weirder what it was so she moved back with her from I was fucking here from when she was living there Sure to her moving home and she was the was she the one that was the funny thing was that? No, that was Cheryl.
Starting point is 00:27:05 We were thinking run out of the woods. Yeah. Now, no, Cheryl. A mix. Cheryl. But she didn't have to do that. She was in her 20. She didn't have to sneak out.
Starting point is 00:27:11 But it was always funny that I thought it was a player. She lived in Mount Holly. And that was going to Mount Holly. Hey, that weird little fun. Isn't that weird? That weird little universe giving you a little bit more. Also, remember, that was a time where I remember I went, which I loved fucking was in root there one time. I went
Starting point is 00:27:29 What a fun realization to have like a dragon I'm not just doing this I'm gonna say it again. Yeah, I love fucking this happens a lot in comedy Because we're all monster movies so fast. That wasn't the that was the middle of a sentence I Am I wonder yeah hear me yeah hear me Fucking and always gonna get mounted in Mount Holly No, that was times we'd go and get like a dollar 15 in gas. Yeah. Like I would do it. Because she lives kind of far away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:06 I remember those. And we were watching the light like on the thing come on. You're like, if I get a dollar 15, that's definitely a gallon of gas. That's a gallon of gas. I love to get me there and back. It should, right? It is. And that was like such a weird time where you couldn't fill your car with gas.
Starting point is 00:28:19 But I used to go out there and that was still happening. And that's when the more she kind of told me the whole thing with her uncle when she went back home. And then I started seeing, I started dating a girl and I told her because I thought she'd be amped up for me. And she wasn't, she tried to act like she was, but she really wasn't. She was upset. And I guess she had said something to the uncle about me or the that fan that I was like that I stopped seeing or something like that
Starting point is 00:28:48 And he came out back of our where we went out back to smoke weed He came around the back because he was two doors down and he came over there I remember Joe like getting him which my stepfather getting in between because not in between it Because I wasn't trying to fight him But he was a standout side with like a get out at you punk You think you could just break her heart like that? No, he was coming to fight me for like her honor, it was bizarre.
Starting point is 00:29:09 You go, you're molesting her. They might, I mean, you say that in front of everybody and it's like, woof. Oh, I know about that. I think about that. I didn't, I didn't. It's my deal than the soul. I don't think I said anything like that,
Starting point is 00:29:21 but I had a feeling like that was like the confirmation of that I'm like, yo, this guy, I think I may have made notice to him. I'm like, isn't it weird that you but I had a feeling like that was like the confirmation of it. I'm like, yo, I think I may have made notice. And I'm like, isn't it weird that you're mad at me for like breaking up with your niece? We broke up. And it's like, by the way, I would have been her boyfriend. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:34 She told me this wasn't that kind of thing. She let me. Yeah. Yeah. He goes, because when I was molesting her the other night, she said you heard her. And I really shut her down. And I got to tell you, I need to knock one out. She was literally probably only like,
Starting point is 00:29:48 hey, you're right, I feel a down, I broke up with Jay today. And he was like, what? I'm going over there. Not my child, I'm a bride. Yeah, or maybe she was like, it's, I don't wanna come around there anymore because it's awkward, because me and Jay stop seeing each other.
Starting point is 00:30:04 He goes, let me go have a word rescue my brothers you know what guys who fuck you we have a common thing we got a bond together we can bro this out in the backyard the shared backyard that is that's fucking insane just because I mean you're like a 17 year old kid so So I, you know, my stepfather was like, jumped in and said something, he's like, what the fuck is your problem? Like, get over it. We knew John.
Starting point is 00:30:31 We knew John. We didn't have a problem with him on a personal level until we found out this is the kind of thing going. He was like a neighbor that was like, he smoked cigarettes. So my stepop and him would go up and go, but I can just shit about grass. They talk about grass and how early the sun's going down.
Starting point is 00:30:44 But he was like an old merchant marine and he did he dressed like Galagher. But I think Ari was right. I think had you not dated that other girl, she was groomed and you'd have murdered that man. Yeah, it's possible. He's like, I could have been like a gypsy right in your life. Yeah, I think like a week later she'd be like, would you do anything for me, lover? It would explain much more what our student killer husband. Yeah, there's that shit's like look that up. You have the teacher that's a famous one. Well, that was to die for me. Amy something. I think you might be right. And the Amy story. Fisher. Amy Fisher. We're Joey but a FUCO. That was the long Island. Yeah, that's a long Island
Starting point is 00:31:21 Alita. What was that? That was the, he was really. Oh, shit. Shot his wife in the face. Pamela Smart, ex-teacher who recruited student to kill husband. Oh, Pamela Smart. Yeah, Pam Smart. That's actually from recent. Possibly called him.
Starting point is 00:31:37 But I'll tell you this, when is it from? Ari, it makes more sense because Holly was a cute chick. Yeah. Not a stunner. Holly was a cute chick. Yeah. Not a stunner. Holly was a cute chick. It was a good fit, but I'm saying. She really is a Tom Petty song. She had a, getting molested by her uncle.
Starting point is 00:31:53 For a fat little 17 year old. For a fat 17 year old, her body was kicking. She was thin. Smooth fat. No fat at all. Smooth fat. Oh me. No her.
Starting point is 00:32:03 Not that fat at all. Oh, you're saying you're the chubby. I'm fat Oh, I'm saying and so this is a 22 year old girl who's got a good body and a boyfriend and She had a boyfriend the whole time to yeah, anyway, who is the boyfriend? Some guy named Bill. I remember I'd see Bill drop her off at night and I'd fall back in my bed and put on I'd see Bill drop her off at night and I'd fall back into my bed and put on nights and my touches Bill's getting all my time with her. Oh my god dude you knew you're this she had a teenage side piece. Yeah That's his I've written and she was 22. Yeah, this wasn't like Bill was another teenager at a rival school
Starting point is 00:32:41 As a car and she's next to her neighbor dude if you knew she no no she was she was It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool.
Starting point is 00:32:52 It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool.
Starting point is 00:33:00 It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little cool. It's a little a great dude and I think he's talking so like whatever I guess I'm basically like fucking and then when I was like and then after like months when I was like I got it I asked this girl out from school that I thought was hot and like she said yes she was like shut a piece of baby she got mad at me she got mad at you she was pissed yeah because she was like I thought we were kind of like oh I was still operating on the like why didn't
Starting point is 00:33:23 you say that you were together? Maybe Bill was, I think she even said the bill was gone, maybe. Because if you're Bill and you're having your girlfriend heartbroken about her 17 year old slam piece that's in the neighborhood, you're like from unit D. Oh no, thank God.
Starting point is 00:33:41 That's, yeah, those cops episodes where there are the whole episodes takes place in one apartment complex. Yeah. He's going from one to the other. And living in South Jersey, as I thought of you though, that was like, you were like, this is the goal, right? It's like to live like, get your parents house and then live in one of these apartment complexes.
Starting point is 00:33:59 And some of them are nicer than others. Yeah. They're all trash. Yeah. Wait, do I live in an apartment complex? No. We all live in a apartment complex. Yeah. They're all trash. Yeah. Wait, do I live in an apartment complex? No. No. No.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Yes, we do, but we live in a city. Can you have an apartment and not an apartment complex? Complex is multiple buildings. No, complexes like when you go, it's called something. Complex, there's just that. There was like, by me, there was Millbridge was one. Like, you go on, and it's just like, it's lots of buildings. It's two parking, it's two entrances.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Yeah. And probably 17, 20 buildings of like four units. It's lots of buildings. It's two parking. It's two entrances and probably 1720 buildings of like four units. So they all look exactly the same color. They're all whatever. I got it I got it as a former pizza delivery driver. You're correct. That's all about Yeah, I know which building to go to. It sucks. Go to two. Go to two. My dad lived in Nob Hill. That was my my my parents live in Valleybrook. Yeah, kind of thing. But it's a valley. valley. But Valley is a Valleybrook is townhouses Apartments also condos and ship but no single homes and then if you pick the wrong building you got to go up You're going up to set it 723 then you knock and I don't you're talking about it like fucking shit
Starting point is 00:34:56 There really only two when you got to go out down this is before phones. Yeah, so you had to go off a map that the pizza place game before cell phones Uh-huh, Yeah, or the This before phone. No, I'm a forespact Alexander Graham Bell. I'm a highland. Yeah I've just been taking the last seven years just to be right now before I inevitably have to do along the top of the skyscraper It was just before electricity guys. We're talking about the dawn of time Yeah, now before cell phones you just be like fuck your boss is getting mad at you Where you been like go to this building and you'd be like I'll remember where that is and then you drive it I can't find it. I taste I tasted something funny on my pizza the other night now tell me if it's the chances
Starting point is 00:35:35 It's true. I don't know what it is with tastes of blim to this is true Christine legs raise pizza a lot and raise most people say, is like a sparrows type. Yes. Shit trap. Ray Yorkers. What's a one-year warehouse? The one in the East Coast. No, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:35:53 That was a side-field. Original raise, which original raise? Original famous raise? Well, whatever it was, we ordered from it. Christine likes it. And so we got from this place. And they delivered it. Christine asked for what
Starting point is 00:36:06 we always get. Half extra cheese and the whole thing. Yeah. Half pepperoni, half mushroom, half pepperoni and mushroom. You know what I'm saying? And then the other half is plain extra cheese. Okay. The other ones, extra cheese mushroom. Great. Sounds like a good life. Yeah. Yeah. First time it came. Doing great. First time it came. Just no extra cheese. Half pepperoni, half mushroom. Tell shows up. Okay. So they made a mistake. Far from the end of the world. We're like, I get how that could happen. Christine calls back and they go, oh, so sorry. She goes, yeah, no, I said like extra cheese and the whole thing. Pepperoni and mushroom on half. Okay. Christ. Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Before we get further in the story, I would for the future endeavors like this, if this happens, please record Christine's voice. As we both know, tone is neither one of our strong. That's still great. Okay. She was doing great. I don't know if the tone is,
Starting point is 00:37:00 I'm coming my pizza. No, here's why she's doing it. But here's why she's also, no, he worked in the biz a long time. Here's why she's doing good, I'll tell you. She does not want to call. She's like, oh, I don't want to get into a bad state. Can we just eat the half pepperoni, half mushroom?
Starting point is 00:37:12 No, no, we could have done that, but no, she wanted to have playing. She wanted to prove pepperoni. Yeah, she wanted her cheese. She wanted her extra cheese. It also looked a little shitily made, quite honestly. Didn't put any fucking elbow. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:37:24 She's now they send it back Exactly the same mistake way again Honestly, can I tell you and we all know this? It's funny To send the Five Actually, she's this time She calls back she calls back but that was near her
Starting point is 00:37:41 She calls back again and we say you call back again Wow like you're still doing this wrong. Yeah. I would be close enough. I would be like, yeah, extra cheese, count it. They still did a whole pie of pepperoni. No, but this one also was like, It was like fried out or so, it was crazy looking.
Starting point is 00:37:57 I'd be like, that's it, we're done. Let's just go out front of the place. Did, by the way, do you keep the first pie or did you give it back? Give it back. Oh, you exchanged. Cut, see, another thing about other thing that I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bag on you like this famous race.
Starting point is 00:38:08 And I'm not saying what they're gonna do with it. The first one they said, we go, we'll give it, we go, you have the other pizza there. And we're like, yeah, you guys need to take it back. And he was like, did you guys touch it? Wow. And I'm like, you, dude, dude, dude. Are you gonna say this to a house?
Starting point is 00:38:25 100% sell it? 100% something I would say working at risk. To do what? That's work. I'm not gonna buy the slice that thing so as soon as they get it back. I think Josh and Dwayne are gonna put it right up in the display case.
Starting point is 00:38:35 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I'd be by the way. You definitely open it and go, and you're talking over. Tom Dover, else is pizza. Talked over it.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Fucking ripped a few fucking pepperonis off in mushrooms. Oh, they let dockens walk around on it. Just fucking, get in there, watch your first. Yeah, take a piss, you're a dog, it's a pee pad until they come.
Starting point is 00:38:56 But third one came back horribly made, but with the toppings the right way, and we just go, okay, I feel like they're, I tasted chemicals on mine. It tasted really weird. Like you didn't know what it was. Cheese not the way we went. Well, you gotta be dark. Christine's looking at Emilio's pizza. It never again. And then we went from a place
Starting point is 00:39:16 closer to us yesterday. Let's go somewhere else right now. Now it was so sold out there's bored. We were were just over to that point I like we just ate a slice of that pizza like fuck yeah, then you take the chemicals. I did famous race It's a fresh out of the pot out of the oven. It's okay Yeah, I'm sure if you're right there, it's better than dollar. We went to a place just Dino's also just Dino's was not very good We were just in the air last night. It was like damn dude. I love pizza corner. I love J's pizza One neighborhood at a time. he's just taking down your pizza Little Italy pizza is pretty bomb but Christine's not in love with it. I like fat cells Sounds like you guys are making up New York names for pizza
Starting point is 00:40:02 You mean you mean village pizza. Yeah,. I like village Pizzeria better than domes I'm one of the pepperoni experts It's have so stereotypical Hey, I'm Roni. Oh, oh, well you go to Morelos, but you get grandma slices at Morelos. Yeah, it's Mateo's deep dish Can you get a good deep dish in New York? I don't know. I did That's a casserole. I heard someone call it once in that, I think, I think, no casserole. You think John Stewart on the Daily Show, one's called deep dish casserole and I can't, I can't think of it like that. It's the most. It's one piece of pizza.
Starting point is 00:40:38 I can, oh, it's weird for me to say, I can, one piece of deep dish and I am dined over. I remember when I was a kid, my mom would be. It's the heaviest thing ever. Cause hearing that, I remember when I was a kid, my mom would always be like, if we were at a wedding and she had cake or something, and she'd be like, oh, it's too rich. And I was always as a kid, like, what kind of bullshit is that?
Starting point is 00:40:57 What is that being rich? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, what? And then now I take a bite, and I'm like, yeah, that is good. That's sweet. What do you have to say? It's supposed to be sweet
Starting point is 00:41:06 Fucking idiot You fucking dumb bitch Give me all the cake And now you feel it's dense Yeah Too rich I guess sometimes now I was like With pizza
Starting point is 00:41:16 I would be like Dude I'll eat it How would I take you I'll put it in the oven I'll just cook it I'll cook it like a casserole But I get it with deep dish It's a good deep dish in New Yorker or seen? I don't know. I wouldn't eat a, if I saw like someone had touched
Starting point is 00:41:30 it, I wouldn't eat it, but whenever one else went to bed, I would come back down and he'd love it. He's like, keep your, keep your, keep your, uh, rap. Yeah, I get that. The, uh, the structure, put it on top of the garbage. Yeah, you're like, hey, just don't, don't have it touching anything. Is it good? I'll tell you what, I'll come back to the garbage. It could be white trash of my family, but my step pop got super into the burger
Starting point is 00:41:53 at Pizzeria Unos before, and then went to Pizzeria Unos, it's pretty good burger actually, the Uno burger. Emmits, yeah. And you can go, oh yeah, look at that. It's gotta be great. It's a New York city place, it's to be great. It's a New York City place.
Starting point is 00:42:05 It's got to be great. I'm a doodle. It says this place emits is the best. Is there a man who will lie down in the street to block traffic and get quarters outside? Yeah, yes. Yes. Can I have a man screaming at his own demons?
Starting point is 00:42:19 As I take a bite. Detroit square pizza is bomb. It's good. It's the best You guys are promoting your gigs in Michigan. I see right through you Fucking pandering. What I'm saying it's the best pizza. No, I believe it's the number one crust Dude just wait to try because next week's your feral flip if I know anything my next week I was gonna argue that it's like, it's just square, it's like square pizza anywhere on the weather calling it the choice style.
Starting point is 00:42:47 Like the, no, I found a reason. I found the reason. What is it? It was something with the pans they were able to use with leftover ingredients for something else. Yeah, we honor you Detroit and we'll make our way there quite soon.
Starting point is 00:43:00 You have the best pizza, Chicago pizza, sucks. Yeah, dude, you guys are. It tastes like cornball cheese. You guys are gonna get there in this deep dish, though. You guys might get some deep dish that tastes like chemicals. No, you don't send a deep dish back. You take some for now. You don't send a deep dish, you gotta go ahead.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Oh, you have to order way ahead of time. Yeah, it's like a birthday cake. They ship on gold belly, you gotta be a jerk off to get a frozen deep dish sent to your house. I assume people get the, I thought about it. When I thought the world was ending, I definitely thought about gold belly ordering like patch, cheese, steaks and stuff. And then when I thought about it later, I'm like, disgusting leftover. Yeah, we're just grossing the first place. Yeah, that's Emmett's place looks fucking great. Emmett's place does look good. That sauce
Starting point is 00:43:41 looks good. Dude, whoever did their website. It website is all Chicago So this is Chicago style dog Chicago. Why do you trip me that shit? Yeah, you say it looks so good We get you very shafir point Chicago port noise Chicago. Oh, I'm the I'm okay with this place I got roast beef dude. This place looks good. Yeah, I was out hotdog. I'll be in Chicago June Well, this is in New York City. This New York Doodle. So I'm gonna do good. Let's go. This is right by the seller. Let's go one night. I'll go right after this Think I want New Haven style pizza is fantastic. Can I get shit? Then crusted Jacob great. Check speak up a little bit. He's not wrong, dude He's wrong. I would know. No know it's fantastic. What's that?
Starting point is 00:44:26 What's that? Frank Pepe's Frank Pepe's and it sucks nuts Bobby we ate it one time when I was opening for Bobby and I just think it was because I was so poor and hungry that I really Fucking enjoyed it. Oh, yeah, I feel's Bob Bobby putting over pizza while you eat it. He's like, you're how fucking good is this? I feel best. Frank F.A. sucks. It sucks everywhere. It's burnt and it's cut like shit. It's too cut like shit. Yeah, this their whole thing is like fucking much better. Yeah, little tiny bites. Yeah, they kind of did you the thing where they're like shitty because they are like products so good you'll put up with it. Yeah Something pussy, but you don't think it is worth it do something You can do come back here. Yeah, fuck you. I've had good Connecticut pizza. What's Connecticut pizza? New Haven?
Starting point is 00:45:15 I'm saying just I've had pizza in Connecticut. It's like good. It's a very new New Haven is known to be the best pizza in the world New Haven Frank Sinatra That was like his thing. He would have him like freeze them for him and send them to him. Well, blue eyes pizza from a new haven. I think Frank Pepe's. That was a big thing. The place you think sucks. I think it sucks. Bobby love. And I owe let me say a public apology to Joe the Rosa. Wow. Because I believe I did this wrong. I because I've heard of it a bunch, I guess, Sal asked me in attack of Deroza,
Starting point is 00:45:48 they were having a taste buds, I think, argument, off microphone about Clamp pizza being like, like I think he's like Clamp pizza and Deroza had like a, like a, disgusting, Clamp pizza, like what's it? Horrible. And he was like, that's everywhere. He's like, what do you mean he's like,
Starting point is 00:46:02 you never heard of Clamp pizza or something? He goes, Clamp pizza is everywhere. I've never heard of Clamp pizza. And he's like, he's like, now, and then Sal called me and he was like, it's everywhere. He's like, what do you mean? He's like, you never heard of Clamp Pizza or something. He goes, Clamp Pizza is everywhere. I've never heard of Clamp Pizza. And he's like, he's like, no. And then Sal called me and he was like, Clamp Pizza. That's like a standard thing on pizza menus, right? And I just called to myself. I was like, yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:46:15 I'm like, I know there's, I've seen it on more than one place. So I go, probably it's a thing. And then I make more people like you. No one knows the five-clamp pizza. I've heard of Clamp Pizza. It's one of the only three pizzas that Frank Pepe makes an artichoke Artichoke makes it do didn't even hear of artichoke or clam until I was on these coast Artichoke pizza. Yeah, I got that here. I heard about pineapples for her about clams fucking artichoke pizza is soup on a
Starting point is 00:46:39 It's not not the actual artichokes. We're talking about the the chain the place. The place on a joke. They're pizza. It's two bites good. The rest of it you have to deal with. No, get the regular pie there. That's the deep dish. How do you get the regular pie there? It's great. Dude, how are you not a fucking pizza critic? You share in these places a part in the way where I'm like, I grow buddy in the city, makes an upside down pizza since the one place. Get the bomb. What is the what's an upside down pizza? Cheese in the bottom. No, you took me to a place. There's a few places I think
Starting point is 00:47:11 raised makes one garbage. I thought Ben's make it. The grandma's slice is sort of what it's different when I'm saying and it not since I lived in Queens. Did I remember when I lived in a story. You probably came over and had the pizza I'm talking about. I know Dave Smith had it a bunch. Upside down. I remember you came over to my apartment, me and Vicki Eames, and we ordered a pizza and it was like Greek style.
Starting point is 00:47:34 And I didn't know that was a thing. I didn't know there was a thing, and Jay was like, we got it delivered. And I was like, hey, check out these grandma slices. Pretty good. And he's like, oh no, this is actually Greek style. It's the cheese is burnt different. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Is it like that? I had no idea. I had no idea. I was like, I had different kind of cheeses too, but he lives in a secret. He lives in a secret. Yeah. The pizza places I grew up going to in Philly
Starting point is 00:47:55 were Greek pizza places, but I know that like, I like that flavor a lot. It's very good. It's very, the crust is much more oily and like bubbly almost, but not like bubbly like pizza things different almost like And dude yet's good. I think they just need to chop they need to block off an hour of you on one of the food channels here And you just fucking Orangles all the pizza stuff. Oh, yeah, Alexis. Yeah, gross. Wait, but you still but you like that dollar sliced by your old place
Starting point is 00:48:22 For a dollar in fact the pizza we had that justino's we had last night, that's what I said when I ate the pizza. That was like, no, not worse, I just said, this is a good dollar slice. It's not like New York, order a whole pizza of it. That dollar slice at three o'clock. That dollar slice at three o'clock in the morning. Kailer.
Starting point is 00:48:41 Stronbowli is great later night on the way home. Never knew what Stronbowli was until I moved to the East Coast. No, the place. The place. The place. Yeah. When he brought, I still, Jay does the Stron Bowley. What are those? The sandwiches? Yeah. Yeah, I never know about that before I got here.
Starting point is 00:48:54 That's the clam pizza. Dude, Ari. East Coast people. They're stacked on top of each other. I also don't apologize to Joe, Joe DeRosa. So sorry, Joe. Yeah, I really, the clam pizza thing. Like, it's not everywhere. And not a lot of people know about it
Starting point is 00:49:08 And I bet a lot of people don't order it because it's probably as grotesque as it's It's not disgusting terrible texture and taste Yeah, I bring up some clam pizza Christine. Yeah, pretty good picture See if you were awesome, you just showed a picture your own plus you right now There it is right you would, give me some clamp pieces. There's a slice there. I got a big slice for you right here. 24, carrot pussy.
Starting point is 00:49:31 All right. Well, that's a little lute. I don't know if we need it like that. We don't need a driven home like that. Can I give you one little trivia about New Haven? New Haven? Yeah. And in the 1986 concert Van Halen live
Starting point is 00:49:47 without a net, Sammy Hague are renamed New Haven New Haven. They always remain. He said that we are renaming this town. This is now New Halen. New Halen. I have that on my phone. That one line. I have done on my phone. That one line. And if you took that to David Lee Roth and told him that, he'd be like, I don't remember that. Zippin' a dab, bab!
Starting point is 00:50:13 Skippin' a bozobob. He's a boozobin' bet. Please leave me alone. That one has shells on it. Yeah, dude. I don't know. I could, here's how I feel. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:23 You could get hammy a slice of that that could knock my socks off and I'd like to. Sure cool. You'd have to try it now. Yeah. I tried the artichoke one, it's good. Artichoke's good. No, no, no, I mean the artichoke clam pizza.
Starting point is 00:50:32 Oh, they're clam pizza artichoke. I think I have drunkenly, oh, that's right. It's really? Mm-hmm. I didn't know they have it. Did have real cups, did they have the shells? No.
Starting point is 00:50:41 No, that's like a whole thing. Yeah, they gotta, that's like, they gotta start with the shell. Right. They're up for that pizza, has to be a nightmare thing. Yeah, they got a they got to start with the shell right under the rest of the prep for that pizza Asked me a nightmare. I have a big fan of white clam sauce. I don't know. I feel like I push over Huh, I think you like it a bit of sal order to place that he loves I think I'd like it. I'm not arguing like I'm just saying I thought it was A very prominent thing because I just heard of it before but most people have no idea. Have you ever had a clan pizza DJ? Lou? Nope, never heard of it. Never heard of it. No, I've never had it. Never heard of it. Black Louis is what I would have never heard of it. Never had it.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Let me ask you. I guess I would eat eggs that with bony white people too. That's crazy. In Connecticut, no less. I'm wrong. We have a crab pizza. What's that? You get? Do a lab. Come back. What are you gonna trouble? I mean, do we even fucking, why are we doing this show if there's no cross checking? I, it's all fake news now. Crab pizza does sound great. Although I will say, DJ Lou. I fucked up.
Starting point is 00:51:36 DJ Lou, what's the most exotic pizza topping you've had? You know, I feel like you've a straight pepperoni guy. Try to sardine recently. On pizza? Yeah. What do you think? Not too bad. You've had you know, I feel like you've a straight pepperoni guy Pizza yeah, I think I'm too bad. I'm sorry and show me yeah, yeah, you liked it Yeah, it's disgusting and I hate the way it looks, but I just tried it a little salty It's yeah, little bones. I don't have a thing. I have a problem with that probably whatever problem with the taste of anchovies It's it you're eating the bones. Yeah, you're crushing a whole fucking fish. I don't like that pretty cool. It was starting to eat bones. I don't taste any bones. Yeah, jovies. Yeah, absolutely. No, they're just like they're soft There's soft things, but there's bones in them and see I either is a spine wigs me out
Starting point is 00:52:16 My mom used to my mom uses anchovies in her Caesar salad dressing That's not bad. I my favorite dressing a Caesar salad and it's the flavor of it is anchovy, for sure. But when I get a Greek salad and they put an anchovy on top of it, I almost, I wanna flip it back at their face. Who wanna, I didn't ask for this. Are we gonna ask for this? Is that a message you're sending me? We gonna war.
Starting point is 00:52:40 Are we a warring? We should take a break. Yeah, we're gonna take a break. Arsphere hanging out, R.E.J. andJ and Bobby Kelly are gonna be in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Grand Rapids and Detroit. Go get the Fort Wayne. The few tickets that are left go to bigjcomedy.com for tickets. It's the Dick and Balls Tourist Bobby's calling it.
Starting point is 00:52:56 I don't know if R-E and J signed off, but Fort Wayne, Indiana, Grand Rapids, Detroit, that's this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. BigJcomedy.com for tickets. We'll be right back. It's the Bonfire. You've been listening to SiriusXM's Bonfire. New episodes, every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows.
Starting point is 00:53:21 Always on SiriusXM. and full shows always on SiriusXM.

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