The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Are We Garbage? (feat. Joe List, Nate Bargatze, H. Foley & Kevin Ryan)

Episode Date: September 28, 2020

DJ Lou updates the gang on his love life. Joe List tells the guys about proposing to his wife and he deep love of Pearl Jam. Jay and Dan welcome Nate Bargatze and discuss dating. Dan, Jay and comedian...s Kevin Ryan and H. Foley of the "Are You Garbage" Podcast look pack at playing with their “guys”.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central! Hey, I'm Big J. Ocasoon, and I'm Dan Soder, and you're listening to the best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8PM on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the bonfire SXM. Hey, Camberzishya Boy, Black King, Black Tiger, Black loot, and welcome to the bonfire's best of the week. We wanted to start off by giving you an update on
Starting point is 00:00:34 DJ Loo's Love Life. DJ Loo, are you still in a relationship? Yes, I'm barely hanging in there. What's happening? Why barely? All right, I'll edit it out of its problem. Is every day a new adventure? Yes, I started hitting her. She just talks and talks and after a while, I didn't realize my right hand curled up as a mute button. Well, you see I live with my twin brother and she wants to bring him all man did she come home mistakenly she you know was what
Starting point is 00:01:12 dip so if you're if you're Lou then this must be oh god oh sorry she wants to she wants to move in together. Oh. She's not prepared to have Will move with you. Yes. He's like, if we don't have bump beds, I can't sleep. Sorry. So your girlfriend wants you to move in, Lou. Yeah, and she wants me to move close to Brooklyn. And I'm trying to drag her to Jersey.
Starting point is 00:01:44 And we couldn't really meet in the middle and my lease is up in a month. What is Will want to do? Stay put. He wants to move out of here because this place sucks but there's just not room for three of us anywhere so I think we are going to stay put. You guys are going to stay and keep that place there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:04 And you think she's going to be out? You know we going to stay keep that place there. Yeah. And you think she's going to be out. You know, after this weekend, once again, you chose your brother over a woman. What? This is how I lost every single woman in my life. Is that true? Every in the last 10 years. Yes. Do the any of them ever say what's the craziest like where they've been like Hey, I think it's weird you and your brother.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Has anybody ever to call in the air with it? Yeah, they all say that. Yeah, why? it's weird you and your brother. Has anybody ever to come there with it? Yeah, they all say that. Yeah, why? What's so weird? It's bitch, I don't really appreciate twins. I don't want you to set up bad Ben cameras all over your house so we can see the weird things. I'm telling you, stupid.
Starting point is 00:02:34 I don't know which one is which. It's my confusing. I'll be kind of nervous, he does not talk like that, Liv. I'm talking about, I'm talking about like their interactions. Like, like we watched some like, it turns like Will and Lou both make sandwiches at the same time But then they were replaced Like they make the sandwich for each other. It's
Starting point is 00:02:52 Or that's even some like primal twin shit and they just rub their heads together and we're Whitsky, what if you found a two good bedroom? Now let's just say let's have it a good two bedroom. You don't want it to be too good. You don't want it, you don't want it to get excited like that. Yeah. Yeah. Some expectations low. Honestly, I was looking at houses, renting a whole house and putting him in the basement. Keep it. Nothing weird about that. That's your bat boy. Dude, that goes hilarious. This is my, this is Lou, and downstairs is pale Lou. You wanna see what Lou would look like if he ate raw chicken? Watch this.
Starting point is 00:03:35 You'll be doing it just to get sharp teeth now. Yeah, we feed him like a python, you know? It's like once a day, it's usually a lot of meat. Yeah, I guess. Huh, did you throw a goat leg down to Will? Yeah. And a new Pearl Jam shirt. So he'll be cool.
Starting point is 00:03:51 So he'll be cool about it. Why don't you do that? Why don't you get a house and stuff me in the basement? Why do you have to bring him with you? Will you freak out? Would you move to Brooklyn? Fuck no. Oh my god, no.
Starting point is 00:04:03 I mean, you don't want to be in the hustle bus like that. You like being in a neighborhood? Yeah. I like going to sleep at night with no car horns and fucking crime and homeless running everything. Whoa. You hear that? Brooklyn. That's what Lew Witsky thinks of you. Hi, I'm Dan Soder from Queens. I want to say a burrow that's really on the up and up is Queens, New York. Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew, Lew the up and up is Queens, New York. Look at all these sleep if he hears the sweet dancing of sugar plums and wills head happening next to him. Yeah, he goes.
Starting point is 00:04:31 Oh, there he is. It's the way Will breathes when he sleeps. I find it comforting. He does cartoon, he does cartoon storing. He goes, I thought maybe he's snores sound like ocean waves. Yeah, that's his ambiance. But that's that's where you'll find the woman of your dreams where she'll learn how to solve your problem by recording will sleeping and then playing it for you.
Starting point is 00:04:57 And you know, look, I made you this fucking dope ass white noise machine with loose nose. Yo, it was the tape. Oh, look. Yo, it was the tape or loop. Yo, I just got a tape and I got all the reverse on this boom box. What, why won't you move away from Will? Well, you see we're in the middle of a pandemic here, New Jersey. And he's a bartender and his.
Starting point is 00:05:21 So if you need extra body parts, you'll have him. Yeah. Are you harvesting him for parts? yeah I think you just hit what would be my main insecurity if I was a twin yeah I was just fucker just harvesting me for part he comes over and feels your muscles every day you go that's good maybe you should work out a little bit more checks it checks my teeth I go hey Dale what do you do over here? yeah I gotta leave Dale and Dan, so do it. Dale and Dan, so do it.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Oh, Dale and Daniel. Dan, Daniel and Dan, yeah. What's the full name? Yeah, Dale is. Is there a name besides Dale? Does Dale come off of another name? I don't think so. I think it's Christine's looking
Starting point is 00:05:57 for you in a quick as she fucked a Dale before. Dude, still the funniest moment in my mom in Trish history was her half in the bag and a wedding introducing me as David My son didn't so if it wasn't pandemic right now you move away from him Yeah, he would be able to because he their bar was closed for like five. Oh, you're talking so money time at money Yeah, it's totally much got you got you for me. I just don't want to leave them. That makes way more sense. I thought he had the ability to move.
Starting point is 00:06:27 Yeah, dude, of course. But that's, you know, I mean, with the pandemic, I'm going on. Of course you guys can't, you know, Will's probably got, once the pandemic lifts, do you think you'll be able to separate from Will? Yeah, that's the plan. Hopefully.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Why don't you just tell her to that? I did, but, you know, you know, I could possibly lose her because of this like She's she moves a little fast for me though. She hasn't liked the distance Right, right. She doesn't want to only see me once every two weeks. Oh you've been dating for what little under a year nine months Nine months you've been dating so I mean the fact that she's Hispanic enough pregnant yet is already She's think you guys are moving too slow Go ahead honestly for her your relationships to be getting up. Yeah, she can't believe you guys have grandkids
Starting point is 00:07:11 Yeah, man, let's go let's do it She's already sad about your death and trying to float her house. Yeah, yeah, she's like dude. We can't have kids this self So she would have to move in with you in some way in northern Jersey, like near T-neck. You know what, I would settle for Jersey City, like, meet in the middle. Why wouldn't she, why won't she do the house idea? I think she hates New Jersey a lot. I've been sending her house choices and stuff on Zillow and I think she really wants to be near more of a city
Starting point is 00:07:46 about Daga. Yeah, that one is. She looks muted about Daga or is it just about the cats? Um, she was the mad trustworthy. Does she live in the scary Brooklyn? Where does she live? Yeah. Rich white Brooklyn or scary Brooklyn?
Starting point is 00:08:03 Scary Brooklyn on the board of Queens Part of that That's not crown Heights it's North of crown Heights That's Ridgewood. Yes, correct. Good boy. That's it's Ridgewood. It is Ridgewood. Yes, yeah nailed it So there right by an M train You know a nice scary barely grunt in Zemtrain. I've done some shows out there sometimes have been like, I should probably get going.
Starting point is 00:08:30 It's right. Does that or window the M-Train? Do you know, I used to hook up with a Russian girl who lived in Ridgewood, right by the M-Train. Same thing, right by the wind. It is, you think your situation is bad, Dan? I'm talking about, when you were like, is this Earth shaking sex?
Starting point is 00:08:46 Or the whole world would have to fall over from an eye. Hey, Cameras is Black Lou again. With a new special out, Joe List stop by and discuss proposing to his wife and how deep his love for Pearl Jam really goes. Sorry, White Lou. Again, Lou's going to be thrilled. I propose the day Pearl Jam played Central Park in the
Starting point is 00:09:05 whatever that thing is they do every the global what was the festival yes so I had the engagement ring and I just wanted to get rid of it like I you don't you don't want to just hold on to that so I gave it to uh... Sarah just that morning just in bed I was like here you go let's get married whatever and she had tickets to go see Brian Regan shoot his special live as Radio city Yes, and I had tickets to go see Pearl Jim so we parted ways. I gave her the Went our own way that's so fucking funny. Let's get married
Starting point is 00:09:37 So like but I have tickets for Reagan. It goes to get out today No, it'll eventually happen. I fun at Reagan. Also be my wife. You didn't give a speech first or anything at all? No, I was so nervous. I woke her up. She was in bed and I was just so afraid of losing the engagement ring or, and then also were comics and so were cynical.
Starting point is 00:09:58 So we had shit on every possible way to engage that's proposed to somebody. Like everyone you see, but you're like, that's so cheesy engage that's proposed to somebody. Everyone you see, but you're like, that's so cheesy, that's embarrassing. And so I was too afraid to do anything. So I just woke her up and was like, hey, here, you take this.
Starting point is 00:10:14 At least she can wear the ring. I'm like carrying it in my backpack. I was afraid to lose it. And it costs like 200 bucks. So. I'm supposed to be a lot of fun. I've got nothing. So does like, yeah, of course. I was waiting for the two like I was gonna be like dude
Starting point is 00:10:28 You spent too much so her I would guess so does never bought jewelry for a girl Am I wrong dude Trisha Dish and my grandma have gotten nice I'm not talking about Trisha Dish and your grandma. I'm talking about a girlfriend. You ever purchased jewelry for a girl Yeah, yeah, I bought a necklace for a girl. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I've done it. I'm not saying you're a You're a gift giver. You're a good gift giver and you're a generous person. I'm not saying about that I just think I don't know jewelry would cross my mind of what you would think to get I Used to get someone a wave runner first Love to a wave runner. Okay, it was want to get married
Starting point is 00:11:01 I love to. I mean, I got you a wave runner, so you say, okay, I want to get married. I got you a key to a wave runner. I would love to buy wave runners for all the people in my life. Wave runners is shit. And did the necklace have a 49ers logo on it? But it's just, details are unimportant. What is important is that love is real. And that love is, yeah, that would make me very nervous of buying an expensive
Starting point is 00:11:25 piece of jewelry to ask a question with it. Yeah I mean the note is pretty bad. Jay when you proposed to Carla what was it? Did you just like I was smoking next embrace you come you came to the upstairs apartment before right? Yeah I heard for that was the one around the corner from Nate right? Yeah they were they are both around the corner from Nate I lived just on two different ones there. Yeah. Third floor. Um, that was the one around the corner from Nate, right? Yeah, they were there both around the corner from Nate. I lived just on two different ones there. Yeah, the one upstairs. There was a house one and there was the one that was the third floor apartment. Uh, the third floor apartment I was smoking. And I had a little chair that I would put by the sliding glass doors for the little balcony. And I would smoke cigarettes there. Yeah. I don't know if I was like a stone
Starting point is 00:12:05 or just whatever it was in the moment, it just felt like it could have been a sim... I'm such an idiot that it could have just been as simple as like, I was like, I know it'll make the house happy from the rest of the night. It's so funny. That's so funny. You want to see me bring some joy in on a Thursday? I think I was like, yeah, I think you mean like almost some semi-joke. I'm like, hey, let's make
Starting point is 00:12:28 Let's make his a bellow a real legitimate person, huh? And she was like what I go. Yeah, I mean, I'm gonna get married. It was very like Casual yeah, but she was and it's funny. She was so Excited to get married and probably the question that I didn't even give a ring. It was a little decision I made in a minute. I was about to get a cigarette by the spot. Did you guys do like an old-timey handshake like spitting your hands? You're so excited.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Well, we're gonna get married. Alright, sir. How to hark on my deals. Yeah, we started, I think we started planning like right away, or she started planning right away, rather. My stepdad proposed to my mom in the kitchen while he was doing dishes. Really?
Starting point is 00:13:18 Yeah, it's really weird. Hey, Bish, can we get married? Will you do this? Yeah. Well, it is embarrassing though, when you see people get too serious and on a knee and they're asking the dad and they, you know, they come out of a pile of hay or it's in a cake. It's just like, what do we do?
Starting point is 00:13:35 The imagery of a pile of hay, though, is someone going to say, yay! I know it's the woman's dream most of the time, but to sit there I feel like an ass on wheels if I was just like Times we've shared and oh dear. I would love to do this I want to make more memories with I want to make Want to make all my memories with you and I just I'm like man I will grabbing both of her hands and looking at your friend gone hit it The thing that I thought I was searching for my whole life I can't believe that you that Joe and dj lou haven't gone to more
Starting point is 00:14:27 concerts together because i think it's a down the i think it's down the pike pretty similar i saw lou at fennway right we've been to each other we did the last time out yeah we saw each other fennway when pro jim what's what's the last show ever what's the official count between joe what do you have how many pro jim shows i believe it's forty two uh... and i'm not to say this is i'm going first it gets giver take a show or two i'm not a hundred percent short but around forty two and then i think forced any better solo shows i
Starting point is 00:14:57 stopped counting at eighty and then uh... a bunch of any better souls to i i just stop counting it's sounds too braggie. Can you believe this girl from all over the country? I. I. Is confusing you as it is to me. Yeah. Sorry, that's the ukulele room.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Will can't sleep in there. That's the ukulele bedroom. The ukulele sleeps there. But yeah, Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, what's he doing? He was leaving. That said, Bruce Springsteen Um, what's he doing? That's it. He's out He's gonna make a twin brother sit back down
Starting point is 00:15:30 Dude if Will sat down, that'd be so far. Oh, here. I know what he's said. That a rifle Yeah, looks like fucking commenza. That's commenza rifle Dude, he fucking hit me he mafia hit man's himself. He just shoots himself in the head on camera I bust out my I bust out my mandolin. Well, we could play We have no I'll go get my Tommy gun and we can fuck up somebody. We have no goddamn What you're gonna call it anymore. We have no video thing anymore And what the world misses is DJ Lou just pull out a fucking ukulele shred dog shred let it rip I
Starting point is 00:16:13 Can't play it yet. It's not tuned What that's wait, that's the problem. Yes, so too. It was tuned right now. You would shred. Yeah tune by your dude That's what veteran does that's what he if he does You can do man. Just gotta listen. You get the first ones at D and you go to also, can I please come out of your basement? We're really scared down here. I like the idea that Eddie veteran is showing up and tuning his own instruments. Yeah, there's probably tears of guitar tech. But like you don't even get to touch Eddie's guitar until you're five years in.
Starting point is 00:16:47 I remember when you met him at Bonarou, I got all these messages being like, dude, do not look at Sotar's Instagram. I'm like, what am I a child? Yeah, what? I'm like, what? Dude, I mean, it's my boy. Just dance with an ironic picture with him. I was stone already got me already got me so stoned and then I was just sitting there talking to him and I'm like, man, this is cool. I'm talking to Eddie better.
Starting point is 00:17:12 And then I was like, oh, I probably ask for a picture. And I was like, can I have a picture and then just everything. Oh, man, I was hoping you weren't going to be that guy. Yeah, dude, the mood changed. I did that and I immediately regret it. I thought we were all artists I don't realize you were just a teenage girl Do you punish get all wet to take a picture with a real man? You guys do you know a little whiskey?
Starting point is 00:17:32 You know, yeah, there it is. I didn't touch him nice good for you. Dan you look skinny there dude Yeah, dude. I lost a lot of weight. I was real sick real sick with it So before you were able to get your insurance to pay for the cocktail, yeah, that was before. Those, those were my bathhouse days. That's no longer a death sentence. I'll have you know, dude, I'm living and thriving. I'm thriving with AIDS. But I am thriving.
Starting point is 00:18:01 But you know what? I'm killing it quite honestly. Joe, Joe Joe that jealousy No one warned me and I went on Instagram and Jeff Ross was hanging out with Queens of the Stone Age And I was just like oh no cool. That's fucking cool. That's awesome dude. You're backstage at their show at the forum awesome Why that mean not that it that would matter now We've done so much a shitting on them also, but like, I did hear like a couple of years back when it was like, yeah, man, New Year's Eve at the comedy store,
Starting point is 00:18:32 they did that podcast. Marilyn Manson was hanging back there, and now Marilyn Manson just hangs out once in a while and I was always like, yeah, man. No one really gives a fuck. These are all people that I bet shit on Marilyn Manson through all of this popularity. And now they're like, oh, yeah, Marilyn Manson, he's still a fuck. These are all people that I bet shit on Marilyn Manson through all of this popularity. And now they're like, oh yeah, Marilyn Manson,
Starting point is 00:18:46 he's still a celebrity. Well, I had a moment where one night, the show, the last show they did at the garden, Pearl Jam, it was like a rumor that they were gonna be hanging out with the Molly Wee pub because the photographer went and some of the crew went. And so I had like inside information, like the man's gonna go there.
Starting point is 00:19:03 And I went there and we sat there and I was all nervous. I kept checking the door for like an hour. Yeah. I don't even drink. I was just standing there and like, what am I gonna do if the band what? Like what is this? I'm a fucking child and you're like, I had this moment of like, I have a relationship with the band.
Starting point is 00:19:19 I go, I buy a ticket, I go watch the show. What am I gonna do? Stand at a bar and be like, they're over there. And of course they never showed up. And I just felt like such a fucking idiot. And I left and I was like, I don't need to meet the band. I can listen to, I don't get me wrong. If I see them, I'll say, hey, this is great.
Starting point is 00:19:35 And I have an in. I have an in. My letterman song was the song down by Pearl Jam. And the band learned the song. And then she was like, great song, man. so i got a good and if i talk to them that is fun that's pretty cool uh paul shaper paul shaper drop would be uh but you're right it's like what are you doing you're not gonna i thought your in was you met you have an end to like possibly meet them i don't know which was like a break the ice story i have a break the ice in is what I meant. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Crackle Crackle campers. Christine was given a Sophie's choice this week on the bonfire. Sex with 49ers, quarterback Jimmy G, or James Willoughby to Philadelphia, equals quarterback Carson Wentz. So we all just gonna leave that press guy out like that. I'll be honest with you all except the whole team,
Starting point is 00:20:22 however they are, you don't tell me anymore, Dan. As long as Commanding the ball isn't a guy who looks terrified and has freckles and pimples all over his neck That wouldn't be the case what it I've almost find the commit in my mind that I'm never interviewing Carson Wentz We're never gonna meet your become friends because I just want to speak out negatively about the things I've seen What if he came back and won every what what if the Eagles went 14 and two? Well, then like any Philadelphia person, I will do a complete 180 and apologize for my thoughts. It's all I want to, Jay. God damn, I love you. Good. Great honesty.
Starting point is 00:20:55 Great honesty. I'll send them some acetone for his neck. Yeah, dude. I don't know what happens. Why does he get, is he just repeatedly getting bugged bit on the neck and his bed? He's just ginger, man. He don't know what happens. Why does he get is he just repeatedly getting bug bit on the neck in his bed? He's just ginger man. He's just a fair skin ginger. He's all frex. He's all frex and pimps. You honestly could have convinced me that Carson went sleeps in a hammock. I mean, yeah, no shit man. He goes, God, those bugs were hungry last night. You go, Jesus Carson. What's on your name? Yeah. Woo, they love me. I got my mom always said I had sweet blood.
Starting point is 00:21:27 It's all the sugar. It's all the sugar in my dreams. Oh, man, I'm just having sweet dreams and they're going to fucking rip up my neck apart. Damn, dude, he is so neck pamphly. You know how much, you know, but Jimmy G is like, um, he's the hot girl that you can't get mad at in public. You know, that's something you go, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Jay, all right. It's all right. Good at in public. You know, that's something you go, God damn it, Jay. All right. It's all right. Good job, buddy. I know your ankles hurt and you see. But here's the thing we take off that helmet. You feel confident. You got a man who's leading the team. Something about that jaw.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Carson when he takes off his helmet and he looks like a nervous kid that you just peg in the head with a tether ball during recess. Yeah. Dude, I never really noticed that Carson- Tell me, you six five, dude, I'm like, dude, chop that tree down. You go, hey, you sure he's about to run on the field? You go, do you need your inhaler?
Starting point is 00:22:14 Why would I need an inhaler? You go, I just, sorry. I just thought you might need an inhaler. Nothing makes me angrier than a not cool looking athlete. God, dude. Christine tried to convince me one time that she actually thought Carson Wentz was a very good looking athlete. God, dude. Christine tried to convince me one time that she actually thought Carson Wentz was a very good looking guy.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Yeah, she loves you. That's how much Carson, that's how much she loves you is that she could talk herself into thinking Carson Wentz is handsome. You know, do you know why it is? Because if we're ever faced with the situation where Christine's like,
Starting point is 00:22:41 look, I don't know what it is. I don't know why this is happening, but gun to my head, I have to fuck Carson Wentz or Jimmy G. She knows she has to convince herself that it's gonna have to be Carson Wentz. Why? Why can't she just, why can't you just be like, all right, I get it. You had to go explore the handsome rugged option. You could fuck Jimmy G, but at the end of it,
Starting point is 00:23:00 you have to like cut it to end it or something. Something. Or you have to work the infiltrate. If you're doing it for pure sexual enjoyment or out and also the fact there's a gun in your head, you have to, you pick Carson Wentz, Christina, am I crazy? I'm all for weird sex. I know, I know. I know.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Just last night you high- high healed me up the asshole. Yeah, oh, whoa. I didn't know you guys did dinner formal. That happened on Lovecraft Country on the last episode. A woman of aggressively raped a guy's asshole with a high heel. Oh, you. She was angry. Christine, here's what I said you do. You let Jimmy G. Spunk in you and then you stand over him,
Starting point is 00:23:44 cough it out onto his chest and then you know, go birds Jimmy G. Spunk in you and then you stand over him, cough it out onto his chest and then you'll go birds. Oh, yeah. Give him a self-felt. I think it's called auto-fouching. Yeah, just fucking having him in and just really get a good smoker's cough like a, just like to let it drop out. Like they're checking you for contrabanding County. Christine, this guy's fucked so much. You don't know what weird shit he's into. I don't think that's going to determine. Christine, you have's fucked so much. You don't know weird shit he's into. I don't think that's going to determine. Christine, you have to just put a smile on one of the two faces.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Jimmy G or Carson Wentz, who do you pick? Carson, obviously, thank you. God, she lies right to your face, dude. He loves you so much. Huh? The second Jimmy G took her shirt off. Yeah, she loves you so much because the second Jimmy G took her shirt off, she goes, I say, and then Carson Wentz goes, hey, sorry, there's a
Starting point is 00:24:28 little bit of ointment on my nipple. It happens to me. Outbreaks. Carson went to Smelligos T3. It comes down some of the flaring. Sorry, it's just new oil my dog. Jimmy, Jimmy goes, you know, it's weird is that I don't have any hair on my cock or so. A lot of people don't know this. There's eight abs. Yeah. Seven. And that crazy. Also, every breakfast I've only had pineapple for breakfast since I was 18 Carson wence Carson wence has fucking just kinky bright orange dick hair. Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry Christine But you have to he goes listen. I'm sorry if it scrapes you. It's just a little unruly. Oh my god He can't even shave his dick hair off because I can only imagine the paleness of the skin on their knees. Oh, yeah, man It would be fucking game changing. You're just gonna be chewing on this fucking
Starting point is 00:25:30 blue and Gray and then with a farmer's tan is like red till like just looking like a half up and then it's all pale Looking like uncooked pork Oh the other white meat Christine, I want you to accept him inside of you and his semen. Christine, I say take the lesser, the lesser time one, just jump on Jimmy G. Do some weird hip gyrations. Have them fucking blow in you.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Stand up. Hawk on his chest. Get out of there. Dude, that press cut is an adonis. Christine got to shake hands with him. She kissed his hands. He was the queen. She really did. She curtsied. Dak Prescott, Carson Wentz. Facing you right, you're staring down the barrel. Those two dongs, which one you go for, Christine. It's obviously Carson Wentz. Yeah, she's gonna pick fucking Carson Wentz over Jimmy G.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Listen, the harder the real surface choice is Jimmy G and Dak Prescott. I'd say, I eliminate that weird freckled fuck out of this equation. You might be blowing away to find out that I would believe, and by the way, I want to turn an answer on a complete own honesty here. You're leading the witness, leading the witness.
Starting point is 00:26:41 No, no, I'm saying the harm, like you don't have to make an agreement here for the sake of the joke. Let's give a real answer. I say, uh, Dak Prescott, Jimmy G. I think there's a chance she goes. Dak Prescott still. She mad him. She knows what he smells like. I think even seeing the pictures. I think I just know Christine's thing. She's not super into preach. She thinks that Jimmy G is is a gorgeous dude, obviously, but like in a prettier way, but I think that press got just seems more dudes to her. And he's got beautiful eyes.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Who's that press cut? Are you so you're picking that press got bring them up. Cool. All right. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna give you a shirt off. No, it would be I would obviously be Jimmy G because I'm not going to sleep with the quarterback of somebody like in the, no, no way. Dallas quarter.
Starting point is 00:27:27 I gotta tell you what, I gotta tell you what she made the right call. But I was saying, let's say they're not football players and they're just two bar tenders behind a bar who know how to do that cocktail shit. Just flipping. Oh, they got handshakes and stuff. They got team handshakes and they're like, Hey, one of us, you're going to fuck one of these guys, which one you go for? Now, now I'm throwing in a wild card. Third wheel, you got Danny Dimes from the New York Giants just rubbing up against you at the bar,
Starting point is 00:27:54 weird, like weird rub. Like you're, you're getting an ask for it. He's just pushing his pelvis on you. Also, Carson Winston's there bar back gig and he's like, you guys are breaking a lot of glasses. Guys, he's just got a clipboard. Guys, we're running at a beer. Are you sure? Shouldn't shut everything down. Rasted about two shots worth a lick or on
Starting point is 00:28:17 every one of those flips. Is anyone else think it's too noisy in here? Well, the music so people can talk. Guys, women are dressed too scantily. Yeah, no one's here. It's all up here to hook up. Wow, that seems pretty crazy. Zoolink seems to be here.
Starting point is 00:28:37 Yeah, oh boy, no one's even talking. They're just looking up noodles. I better get out of here. You think I can find a girl who's willing to pop my back blackheads? Definitely, definitely in the Eagles locker room, Nick Foles at one point through his keys to Carson Wentz and would pull it around. Hey everyone, this is Jacob. Dan and Jay talked with Kevin Ryan and H. Foley from the R.U. Garbage podcast.
Starting point is 00:29:04 He talked about playing with dolls and joy. My action figure was much gayer, we said, because you always did wrestling or war, right? It was pure conflict. Yeah, physical. Why all of you? Why all of you? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I I'm mailman action figure GI Joe's J did a lot of civil court action Paperwork civil court. I just got the new district attorney Criminal court civil court you forgot to file your I and C registration and this is tax law tax law
Starting point is 00:29:39 I got to get her Get her He's in family court with his guys I don't know I think they're taking each other to court for like a land thing that he My grandmother my grandmother and mom called them my men your men Mine's sludder you're like men. You're men. I'm even gay or do you guys, you guys? Mine's sludder. Yours are like men. Those are just men. Mine are like your guys. But they also don't forget that she also called all of my friends, my buddies, my boyfriends.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Oh, that's not true. That one always skimming out a little bit. Did your parents do that to you? No, but like you would be over someone. Because it's Kevin, it's his Pat's boyfriend. You're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's serious. Maybe it's Philly, dude. My grandma always does always she was Jason's over here with one of his boyfriend
Starting point is 00:30:28 By the way, one of my boyfriends I guess goes he's got four on the hook. He's a real. He's a real pig in the hood Let me tell you his mom right in front of him where I'm from Both in Denver and in California like it would be like if they said that they would be doing it with an eye roll like Yeah, Dan's over here with his is boy friend be like, if they said that, they would be doing it with an eye roll. Like, yeah, Dan's over here with his, his boyfriend. Like, yeah, it's intense and zero. But digging on you. Yeah, my grandma's like, this is Jason.
Starting point is 00:30:50 This is boyfriend. If I want to Scott LeCaptain's house and his dad was like, this is Scott's boyfriend. Boyfriend. I would look at Scott and I go, are we doing? Yeah, what's up, dude? You got brought something early on. Dude, I'm not going to let you in. You're a fucking boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:31:01 You're Scott's boyfriend. Shut up, Mr., shut up, Mr. LeCaptain. I'm sorry that your son looks nice out of the pool. Yeah Yeah, man, I always had conflicts with my toys there was always What the fuck you say to me? I said water Yeah, man, I always had conflicts with my toys. There was always war death Saying it went on too long like you were playing with them 13 I'm I went too long. Yeah, there was nothing better than going up into my room with all my GI Joe shutting the door later Everyone and just fucking being long lot but I see I see that as a precursor to becoming a comedian becoming an actor director, filmmaker, stuff like that. You're literally doing a scene. Yeah, but Jay nailed something on the head the other day. We were talking about playing with action figures. That's something that I was playing video games last
Starting point is 00:31:57 night. I was like, God damn it. Jay was right. Where he goes, just get to a point where it's a little too much playing dolls for me. And I'm like, what do you mean? And he's like, you know, you play video games where you like change the character what they wear on the video games. And he's like, yeah, that's a lot like playing dolls. And then last time I'm changing the pants on Adam Page and WWE 2K and I'm like, God, I'm gay. I was just head that thing. I was like, he's not playing dolls. My nephew says that about getting new skins for his Fortnite guys. Yeah, I'm like, get the fuck out of my face. But that's the thing is like,
Starting point is 00:32:28 I play, yeah, I just play like the, usually NBA too, yeah, I don't want. Foli's right, like there was nothing better when you were like 13 to be like, dude, fuck this. Like I'm just, I'm heavy, I look forward to the thing, but that's what I'm saying. My thing, I did of course,
Starting point is 00:32:41 I, the weirdest one was that when they made the grid iron guy, we've said this before, with the little football grenades was football games Just you know I control two guys at a time, but I just had them all laid out and I play football Cory graft clearly by me Back in the pocket Where are you? Ten and in place And one and six and four and five?
Starting point is 00:33:05 They don't have your first two more number for the dreadlocks. I need a cobra commander. No the new one with the hood Hello We're playing football About where war man No, I would imagine if I were going to have my guys do the half time show Kick excuse me Destro how do you play? So I could make those. So I could make those alone.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Yeah. So I would do that, and a lot of wrestling. Wrestling was the biggest, most obvious thing, like actual wrestling matches. Or cool good days. Karate, could you have the ring? No, for GI Joe's, no. No, the Robert W.W.
Starting point is 00:33:43 The Robert W.W.F. toys with the ring was awesome, but nothing beats the GI Joe. now the Robert W W the Robert W W have toys with the ring was awesome But nothing nothing beats the GI Joe because the articulation Thanks the much if you ever watch too much our tickets The promise he likes yeah, I have and Dan Dan likes the arms in its position forever I like the storm wars guys. No, I like I WF Hasbro when they're short with one movement, where you can pull their arm and they'll hit you. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:10 Dude, you know what I'm doing? The GI Joe's that can move in every hand. They look like break down. They would get a pointer. And they would get their own display. They're all just so great. No, look like you were picking up like you were King Kong with the radio.
Starting point is 00:34:21 We're all into all the things of the GI Joe. First of all, if you just got a glass of screwdriver, you can make an entirely new, it's like designing Nike's now. It's like you can make your own character. Obviously, it's all the time. You take the screw out of the back. It's easy.
Starting point is 00:34:33 But a GI Joe is also the articulation. I'll say I can swing you over in two seconds. Do you know what a big move you could do with GI Joe's? You can never do with a wrestling that would look good. A fucking vertical suplex, dude. You're right. You're absolutely right. You can wrap the arms, rain, chubbles, and and have a look.
Starting point is 00:34:49 The articulation does lead itself. And that's why there's so much articulation with action figures now. I would say the perfect action figures ever made were from this cartoon called cops, which was like this animated feature. I literally just watched this the other day. It's so crazy. You're bringing me down. You got a busy schedule, huh? Well, there's there's a website called Toobie and they have all the old guy Joe's, all the transformers and all these work. These were the I watched the cards whom Black Lives Matter. Oh, wow. I watch D. Fund.
Starting point is 00:35:20 This is an old cartoon called D. Fund fun cops. Well Jay, this is it. I'll get you a good look right here. You can see the articulation, but they were bigger. They were bigger than GI Joe's. So, they're too hippie. I mean, like hippie, like in the hips. No, that actually- He's can never be my man.
Starting point is 00:35:42 They're made to like anime looking You know, I mean like G.I. Joe G.I. Joe's were just fucking jacked They're pretty close. They were jacked to average body. No man, and they were and everyone was just fucking quick the ninjas They were unbelievable They're nothing will be the G.I. Joe nothing will be in all the G.I. Joe's are too tiny They can get you there are really small yeah, we're small I'm all the vehicles and all that shit. There's a fuss. The hovercraft Forget it the fucking I don't know what I'm a craft care. I don't know what I'm arguing you guys are right. I'm a big fat idiot
Starting point is 00:36:19 You chose we wish they me chose see here's the thing I chose action figures You again in life chose the halls I just wish they made a big show. See, here's the thing, I chose action figures. You again in life chose dolls. I love my dolls. My dolls have their little stories of conflict. That's why you had guys and I had men. Well, I had guys that wore. But anyway, to finish the thing I was saying was
Starting point is 00:36:38 outside of all the wrestling was the most obvious. I would get into extreme storyline. Guy going to get his girlfriend from a party where she was seeing somebody else and everybody at the party tries to fight the guy. I'd make scenarios. Do you have GI Joe's? Yeah. I would say you were getting into their personal lives and not their military.
Starting point is 00:36:58 I also like how like the biggest story that you could come up with is like this girl sleeping around or something. I was like, oh, it's okay. You think guys, there's a real horrible girl. No, we gotta get to that. This was snow guys. This was snow guys get some date, not out of the paper. And I had headphones in and I'd have soundtracks till it.
Starting point is 00:37:16 So yeah, that's why I was scored it. I always said, I always said, I have an anniversary over here. I said, so I'll be there for you by Bon Jovi. It's definitely the only like visual like picture I have where I can immerse myself to remember. It's listening to that song and having between Jinx, The Red Ninja and Road Pig. Yeah, your favorite.
Starting point is 00:37:34 Who is sits at the studio right now. Somebody sent us a road pig. I just, who was, who was a dreadknock who had an anarchy tattoo, wore no shirt, had a buzz cut, and carried a bat with a send center block on the end of it. So his girlfriend would cheat on it. But he was my good guy because I just thought he was so jacked.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Because the, yeah. Muscles, it's the 80s. Muscle, he was the coolest guy. He was the coolest guy. And I also, I couldn't put myself in any way into a ninja. So I was like, oh, maybe when I get big and strong, I'll look like this guy. Isn't it crazy though that we're all children of the 80s and 90s?
Starting point is 00:38:07 You know, muscles were everything. That's all the world. He was real pig here. When you grow up and you meet someone with a lot of muscles, you're like, I think I looked at him one time, the face, the hilarious. You see man would suck if you met him as a god. If you just get to do it at the bar. Yeah, if he was like, he was walking if you met him as a guy
Starting point is 00:38:27 He's walking I can't eat that there's too much Where you guys you know it's funny if you walk up to him you go take a self-serving Shaker it is the best was walking up to he-man and you go what's up Adam and he goes come on man You know I'm wearing the he-man thing now come on dude. I have my fur underwear on you know that means I'm human Hey guys Adam, what's the name Adam of what? Whatever see it was Adam of whatever he goes fun turnia Yes, Adam of be Terry's getting pissed up. I'm not having to be turning it work. Oh bring the car around Adam of the Terriers getting pissed off because I'm not out of eternity. It's just work.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Go bring the car around. Oh, come on. He man sit out. You're freaking with you, dude. Bring the Panther around. Bring the giant green Panther around that I ride everywhere. Yeah, I love the toys that made us about that. They were like, we got some old shitty things from Georgia, the jungle.
Starting point is 00:39:20 Yeah, pain at wacky, put a mask on it. He man. But I like those stories man some of those those companies like the story of Kenner and the Star Wars line and how crazy all those guys were that shit was so like they were all doing fucking blow and shit like that like fucking this one died of this you guys I got an idea somebody give me my apron it's like a group it's like a group of cats but
Starting point is 00:39:42 they're human they're They're called lightning cats. Goddamn it, thunder cats. Yeah. I mean, that's just Bolivian holy fuck. I don't know. Oh, that's rock and roll, dude. One of them can be called panthro. I'm the oldest in the room for sure.
Starting point is 00:39:57 How old are you? 44. Oh, it's your older me, actually. You are older me. So that's the name we are right in the same. I'm rich. That was gonna say say it was very funny where it went for me, I think Star Wars figures.
Starting point is 00:40:08 And then it went to He-Man because He-Man did have a, by the way, He-Man flat out, talking about playing with dolls, they flat out sold you a dollhouse. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it the castle-grey school, the castle-grey school's a dollhouse. But it was sold to the fuck.
Starting point is 00:40:20 It was sold to the dolls. Like, snake-married, and fucking, and the Barbie Dreamhouse. Yeah, that was so serious. That's where the party was. We're gonna have to go pick up the fight. Yeah, we're gonna pick up the party. Jay's outside of his pits.
Starting point is 00:40:32 And I'm telling you, the high school guys are gonna be so mad at him's here. And he says, sheerah is inside. What? Just party in it. Just party in. So I got into friend of mine. He's right. But when I got into the GI Joe man, there was just no going back. They were
Starting point is 00:40:49 Wonderful like they were so fucking poseable. I'm younger than you guys and I hit at 37 I hit when action figures were like everyone was like we're making action figures of everything Yeah, anything that came out that they can conceive as an action figure. Is there a mafia? No, dude, but it better be Hasbro style One punching I want to ask holding a briefcase It'd be the same one that they do I Think who's made like that. There's a macho man Randy Savage. He's made like that. Where's arms out like punching
Starting point is 00:41:22 Yeah, yeah, he's holding something holding something. Yeah, that would be the Mafia where it's like the arm so I could close line That was more great to man that has wrote WWF WF in the 80s. Yeah, geez I don't know what is it I've been thinking about this all really is it just that that was the time that we grew up in that we think that was so awesome or Was that really that much better of a time than now? It was this shit So I feel like it was grot there's still a scene of it But like the grimey now is almost like to grimey and not as a exciting
Starting point is 00:41:50 But like what it felt like was it was very like I don't even remember like when they would walk out to the Rings like when we were younger. Yeah before it became on TV really big like it was dark The arena was dark. Yeah, it was like a spotlight on the guys walking to the right now. That's what it was like Saturday morning, right? It was like Saturday. Well, there were superstars Saturday morning and then there was at night Saturday night main event.
Starting point is 00:42:13 But they, when I went and saw the WWF in 1991, it was a dark, yeah, the Cal Palace in San Francisco. My dad took me and he was just getting hammered in the stands. And I was like, I wanna go high five, one of the wrestlers. My dad was like, yeah, just getting hammered in the stands and I was like I want to go high five one of the wrestlers my dad was like Yeah, just come back when the match starts because it's dark like it was like yeah, it was an arena It was like you know fucking dark in the whole thing. I was smoking at his seat Sitting there smoking life just be a player called cow Smoking in a smoking in a stadium is a okay shout out to the cow palace still there
Starting point is 00:42:44 Smoking in a stadium is a okay shout out to the Cal Palace still there Wasn't that what they said the first it was for the dads and the kids would go with the dads Yeah, and that's how they got the kids into it. Vince McMahon did a really good job of marketing, you know Big bright colors big bright personalities and just got the kids. Yeah, I mean dude It was the gobbly gook or the gobbly gook? Yeah, it's a right man But I think I still a fan of wrestling I see kids like I remember a couple years ago I went to Somerslam and me and an eight year old were like enemies for a match Because I wanted AJ Styles and he wanted John Cena
Starting point is 00:43:16 This kid and I'm like, AJ style y'all say like, John Cena, like fuck it. Yeah, I can fuck your mom I actually could break up your I'm charming. I'm charming. I will Freck, man. That's how I'm gonna round the edge, dude. You should have found comic Ground over your love of dolls. I go, do you have his doll? And he goes, don't call it that I know it's what it is, bro. I'm you I'm you. I'm you. It's a doll. I'm you. I would like to see when I was a young queen flick you myself. Listen, let me tell you something that no one told me. You're playing with dolls. Quit resetting after you lose video games. Everybody knows what you're
Starting point is 00:43:57 doing. It goes Dan. Pates is here. You go two seconds. It's going to put some new shirts on. I'm coming. I sort of to guy the most emasculating moment of my relationship with Katie was- Watching her put eyelashes on your guy. You know she walks in, she walks, she's on the phone with her brother and she walks in the living room and I'm playing WWE, she's too good at teaching. See a dance putting new pants on one of his wrestlers.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Oh my gosh. You got a hit set on. I had a hitter. I had to hit just to correct it. I went in the room and I threw something and I went, you stupid bitch, you overcooked the stage. You overcooked a goddamn stage. Go beat up her brother.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Yeah. Tell him to meet me. Where? Off I 95. As soon as this game's over. That's the Vince Limbardi rest stop Dude you like me. Hey, Skeletor is having a party man. You're not invited. I fuck you man Yeah, fuck you dude that is many faces
Starting point is 00:44:56 Dude the thought of hanging out with him and where he's just all jacked and he goes It's actually pretty bad for your hamstring Shun on to advice yeah advice given you like day advice When they made up the story based on the on the toys. Yeah, it's so funny because they just made up the story What's the story goes these guys are in this dollhouse? You mean the castle goes sure Maybe however you want to go and then the bad guys are in a, you know, purple scarier dollhouse. I'm going to ask you again.
Starting point is 00:45:29 And I'm glad we're doing this. I'm glad this is why we have ideas about some begging for it, but it's tough calling it a dollhouse. One, I don't think until this moment I've realized that the only separation between playing with action figures and playing with dolls is violence. Yeah, that's the only thing if they're like, if I did like a kissing contest with the X-Men, you're like, yeah, that says, as can go into pick up Barbie.
Starting point is 00:45:57 Uh-huh. Besides that, we're all just people trying to stick around a wall, so it looks like a kitchen in your dollhouse. That's all lopsided and shit. Yeah, there was an earthquake yesterday. You never start putting the sticker on, and realize that the actual thing that's made to fit in, you whiffed on. Yeah, it ruins the everything. That ain't got a lumpy room. Never make a look at the commercial.
Starting point is 00:46:20 But I'm the low. I used to love the fucking barbies like the Corvette and the Dreamhouse and stuff. The head. I thought that shit was awesome dude. It's funny the Me tonight ryer that was version forget about that ryer was great because all it was it just gave you a Barbie Corvette that was Kit instead and talked dude that thing was Remember that dude that thing was unbelievable Jay I'm just picturing Jay at his friends house like I got his sister's doll I said that could be a good place for them to have a party
Starting point is 00:46:54 Really probably a plow down Got a grotto dude that was from the come is queue up the jovy road pigs Conflicts coming down the street that was the zillow for you for your actions from the com goes, queue up the jovy road pigs coming. Oh, check. Conflicts coming down the street. That was the zillo for you for your action figures. You go, look at that house. Probably got backyard. What are you asking for, guys?
Starting point is 00:47:15 Oh, it's not for sale. Yeah, but you know, let's say you were. What would you be asking for? I. Why? How's the school districts around here? It's not right. Are the property taxes run up your doll house? and nothing like it was to pink doll house goes a little pink
Starting point is 00:47:29 couldn't have it right? Sure I'm actually going half an hour with it. Put some shit on that. My thoughts are on the foundation. And you guys get water damage. Put some brown molding up in here. I don't know this looks like this could be a good party shack. Get watered down and down. Put some brown molding up in here. I don't know. This looks like this could be a good party shack. It could be a shame if Rode Pick had to come and get it.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Yeah, yeah. It could come with people to your window. Sure, when Hayden Rode Pick came in here staring up some shit. Dude, did you give the girlfriends names, like regular names, like Leslie? He's like Leslie, get out of here. Probably. That's great.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Did we're you the guy going, like in your head, were you the guy going to save the day? For justice. Oh, for sure. He was going to clear house, for sure. And he was gonna he was gonna clear house for sure and that was me It's always funny because mine was all I Never in my life I thought like I would like we were talking about that and I started getting like emotions feeling weird But like when my dad would walk in and see me doing that
Starting point is 00:48:23 If I could have just been like dad over in Jersey right now is a guy. We're doing like real warship here. You're a veteran. There's a fucking guy over in Jersey and there's a whole opera going on. Yeah, they do political conflict. Still west going up? Yeah, my mom goes,
Starting point is 00:48:39 Tanya, where are you doing? I go, there's a title up here. We got the heavyweight title up in this wrestling ring right now. Hey, you understand road pigs met her family. And like, you understand, but she drinks and she goes off the rails sometimes. There's a bullet punch in that house. Jay, Jay, taking her back. I've never had him do like, maybe once or twice, I did the old like, she goes, let's get back together and I go on for the hug and maybe I end that with the fuck Whoa the people's fucking up rock bottom rock bottom. Did they stay together? Most of the time they stayed leave together and they might even have fucked
Starting point is 00:49:11 But you're eating you're eating dinner and your mom's like Jay what's going on? You're like Just wondering John his brother air forever gonna talk again. They got real close They were doing a carpool together to work And then road pick I had to bust up everybody at that part. The worst thing I don't think I did this I don't think I did but you totally did this no, I really don't think I did But I'm trying to picture the idea of your family walking in on you father mother anybody the worst thing could be happening Is you having GI Joe's fuck even if it's heterosexual sex. Yeah. If they're still they walk it on you and like you have a leg up.
Starting point is 00:49:47 And over. And your mom goes you can't push back into that. Yeah. You're not maxi goes no you're not maximizing his space. Yeah. My mom will come over and tell me just break all the dicks off the GI Joe. She goes come here this is what you got to do. This is you lap the wrapped around. That way she can take him in further.
Starting point is 00:50:08 You see, all the players and her are in and up. So I'm like, is it in a holding GI Joe? I was just making road pig was going to get jigsback from a party. She was being a whore. Yes, she goes, OK, now let me see snake eyes. Now see, this is his arachnist.
Starting point is 00:50:26 So snake eyes. You know, 95% of their vettings are in the head. No good roadblocks. So I have prostate. Yeah. His roadblock is got a thick prostate that needs a little touch in. I don't think you can do it. All right.
Starting point is 00:50:42 G.I. Joe's, which was huge. And it wasn't long-term effect. You could redo it and have a be over again. Which you could take a red crayon and a motion of the faces and make like blood on them also. Which we also do that with a washable marker. That's what I used to use. Did you read tears on the girl's eyes after the fight?
Starting point is 00:50:59 I don't know why he does this. Running no-one here. You know it's got the purple real quick. You know it's great. He really really think smoke it was a work party road Foley Foley looked at me when I was saying that cuz I was telling me make up thing I thought he was gonna cuz we've been agreeing on a lot of things up to this point And when I was gonna say like you take a red crayon in my mind he was going like oh you smash it and make blood
Starting point is 00:51:25 He was waiting for me to say something much gay or like as it's where the directions go goes I would take red thing and you could put so you Takes the shine off He was waiting goes I think he was surprised by the answer. You could make it bloody, he was, oh blood. Okay, thank God. I thought you were gonna say, you ever put him in the freezer and freeze him? You get out with the rouge, I was like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:53 You could smush it in between your legs, so that he gets a period. And then you know what they do? They just have a meetup at the water. And I just sit there and they just fish and talk. And I'm gonna tell you right now, Sergeant Slotter has not been empathetic It's been going about his business. You parents can make us was they going on with your guys over there
Starting point is 00:52:09 He goes nothing. They're all fighting with each other He don't even want to know. Yeah, no one is talking. It's the worst thing ever. We should never got this summer rental Dan what's going on with the wrestlers? I go how much time you got? First down Texas tornado was supposed to be in a pin falls count anywhere man Then I don't know dude. I just thought of all my G. I know is a much time I put into them And then just they got sold off. It's a bummer. You know I'm telling you right now sure people just be like fuck this. I don't care
Starting point is 00:52:44 And you're like whoa, oh that guy went through a lot. I'm telling you I'm'm telling you right now, sure. People just be like, fuck this, I don't care. And you're like, Oh, that guy went through a lot. I'm telling you, I'm not with psychological, it would do to me, but I'm telling you, for the idea of wrestling matches, if Christine even didn't know, if I could hide it from the world, I could still play with Jio Joe's. I just wouldn't because we talked about this before. Sidey would not be able to do it. I mean, they show up. I still have a couple little toys. Yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Could you get into just sitting at a desk or laying on your bed and just maybe we've brought this up. I'm sure and plan a little wrestling. You know what it is. I can do a tech. I wish I could, but I don't have the Imagine like you know like like that disappears as you get older. I don't have the like imagination to do it anymore Yeah, cuz all you hear is your adult voice going Cuz I do have a bunch of like you know little like metal like Star Warships that are just like later on the house And if I'm like laying on the couch watching something every once in a while I pick one up and do like a So alright so it's still there
Starting point is 00:53:41 Like a second I can't get the storyline going you know So it's still there. It's still there like a second. I can't get that storyline going. You know what I mean? There's no relationships for me. I don't know, man. I'm about to order Jason G. I. Joe's and just have him show up at the show.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Make you show movies. Yeah. Do you show me G. I. Joe movies for the blind. Five. Do drama filled. Yeah. Do you want me to make G. I. Joe movies? I will absolutely.
Starting point is 00:54:00 I'll send you. I'm a G. I. Joe. I will send you Scarlett. I'll send you a bunch of women. Yeah, I'll need Scarlett. I will. I will. I'll make a bit of a city I Joe move. I will send you Scarlet. I'll send you a bunch of women. Yeah, I'll need Scarlet I'm jinx jinx was a bit of a mint because here's the thing Jinx was a mess because she's very shy But he loves her anyway, and now all of a sudden this bitch is out fucking
Starting point is 00:54:15 Damn he was cooler. What an emotional. She was what he took her in what an emotional heavy way to play. Yeah, it's crazy It's a very remote. Yeah, I don't know what it was with movies when I was younger too, if there was like a deaf girl that was pretty, I was like, oh, I can get her, could she's all fucked up. I was case scenario, I married the deaf. Yeah, I go, but also when I take care, and she's like, oh, she's gonna want, she's gonna want a big fat weirdo to like stop people
Starting point is 00:54:40 from getting, she's gonna want fat weirdos to not come lunging at her. And I will be your fat weirdo that stops her? I always hear her. I always wanted to go discount bin. I always wanted to go something with a girl with a problem because then you're like, that's why when I was young,
Starting point is 00:54:53 I was like, dude, girls that act out, I could save one. And then you go to your mid 20s and you're like, this is just gonna cause me nothing but problems. Yeah, I can't buy another wardrobe that she burns. Yeah. Dude, I remember being like a, literally like a fat 10 year old being like, yeah, I don't even want that hot of a life, you know what I mean? You gotta worry about a cheat and onion stuff.
Starting point is 00:55:12 Fuck that. Like, legit, I remember walking out wild with Zvorbalk having that conversation with another tale. That's issues. You're already cutting yourself short. Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM East on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM 95, or on demand on the Series XM app.
Starting point is 00:55:33 Be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire at SXM. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. podcast.

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