The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Austin Posers (feat. Gary Clark Jr. & Ron Bennington)
Episode Date: March 22, 2024Radio icon Ron Bennington and virtuoso Gary Clark Jr. both hang out on the same day! ...
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I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big Jay Okerson.
We're actually a full radio show on Sirius XM, not just a podcast.
For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Sirius XM app.
Go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly. We're back shooting the shit with the best that ever did it.
Ron Bennington, Sponfire, Faction Talks Series XM103, Big Jokerson, Robert Kelly.
Bobby, you went to Catholic school?
I went to Catholic school for one year in first grade,
got held back, went back in fifth grade and got kicked out.
Our mother of the hard knocks?
I got kicked out because I got punched in the face
by my stepfather and the nun was like,
he shouldn't come back here.
I went to this school crying.
Why, she's like, that was my job.
I don't like this kid coming home lumped up.
I remember one of the kids, in first grade,
the kid peed and she hit him in the head with a book.
Nice.
He peed his pants?
He peed just sitting down, we were seeing how to pee
and he didn't.
He didn't know how to say.
Yeah, he didn't know how to say.
We had to just sit there and he was raising his hand
and she wouldn't answer him and then he peed
and she came over and hit him in the head with a,
like smacked him in the head with a book.
If it was okay to use corporal punishment
on children in school, I would've become a teacher.
That'd be nice, dude.
Just a...
It was.
Just like a law, like a, you can't lose.
You know what I mean?
It was, it was.
You can just, you're completely governed by fear
and physical violence.
You could.
Yeah.
And no one could stop you.
Yeah, back in the day, you could hit kids in school.
You could teach, you could hit ya.
Here's what happened, there was this seventh grade
fuckin' teacher that used to hit you with a paddle
and then make you sign it.
And then like five years later, he fucking came
and was in fucking high school,
and a bunch of us showed up in his fucking room
the first day, it was like jail hell shit.
You know what I mean?
We were like, hey motherfucker,
when's the last time you hit a fucking kid?
And he was like, guys, you know what I mean? We were like, hey motherfucker, when's the last time you hit a fucking kid? And he was like, guys, you know what I mean?
Guys, you're young, you know?
Get me outta here!
It was fucking hilarious though,
because his whole attitude changed.
You know what I mean?
Oh yeah, because now you guys are taller and like, yeah.
Yeah, we would have stabbed him to death.
It's dumb, man.
I got suspended from school in eighth grade
for the gym teacher was about to beat up my
friend in the hallway during recess.
And I went in to use the bathroom and I saw him and then me and my friend beat up the
gym teacher together.
Jesus.
And they suspended us for two weeks.
On what grounds?
On beating up a gym teacher.
Yeah.
But he deserved it.
Well that's better than, I like the school in the beginning of Lean On Me, when they start playing Welcome to the Jungle,
in that movie, and one of the,
the scene that I always see not being that big,
it didn't really resonate throughout the school,
was that the one teacher was, they were holding his head
and just pounding his head on the ground,
like with blood coming out of the back of his head,
and then it was just like, you know,
in the teacher's lounge, five minutes later,
they're like, this is getting crazy.
This is nuts. I think we have to get a black principal in here.
This is like a Guns N' Roses song.
It's that bad.
Guns N' Roses was a band.
I know who Guns N' Roses is.
Yeah, the guy still wears the dumb hat.
Who?
Slash.
Yes.
Bingo.
He does wear the hat.
He wears the dumb hat.
You see Slash at the Oscars with My Name's Ken?
Yeah, they always whip him out like a fucking robot now.
Yeah, he is.
He did a guitar solo, get the dummy with the hat.
That's really true.
He is like the go-to guy.
He looks like Jeff Ross now.
Oh yeah, yeah, it's one of those, the Madonna thing.
You get up close, it falls apart big.
Because I've seen him where you're like,
still has the shirt open and it still looks like he's not like a he doesn't have like a fat dad body or anything
And then you get close and you go. Oh, no, it's getting like that late that late years Rick Flair chest
I hate it. It's like annoying. Do you know why you hate it because it's not now. It's not the hat. It's prop Yeah, that thing is so thick and just meant to stay on his head. You know, I mean, it's like annoying. Do you know why you hate it? Because it's not, now it's not the hat, it's prop.
Yeah.
That thing is so thick and just meant to stay on his head.
You know what I mean?
It's like, it's not, it feels like Mickey Mouse gloves.
If you go like, then the person takes their gloves off.
Yeah.
When they take a break from being Mickey Mouse.
You know, I think Axl wore the hat first,
and then Slash took it over.
No, Axl wore a headband, didn't he?
Yeah, he was always headband.
No, that was later.
That was later, I think right at the beginning.
Really?
I don't know about that.
I know Appetite for Destruction, it was already Slash.
I saw Guns N' Roses before anybody knew who they were.
It was before the album came out.
Yeah.
And...
Where?
It was in Plant City, Florida,
and they were opening up for Motley Crue,
and we had just played fucking softball
against Motley Crue.
I had just started radio,
and we're standing backstage,
and these fucking people come out, these kids,
and they're just getting their picture taken,
and we're going like, who the fuck are these guys?
They were like fucking glowing.
Like I don't know who these guys are,
but they seemed great.
And then they fucking opened up.
Nobody knew their songs and fucking blew everybody away.
That's awesome.
It was unbelievable.
And later I go and see the music director.
And like I had already told told these guys I wanted to bring
my own albums in from home that's how bad classic rock was at the time but I'm like
hey do you know these guys this fucking song is great he goes yeah but it's too hard to
play them in the morning and I'm like no the and he goes and then we go around and then
he fucking finally finds sweet child of Mine, and he's like,
oh, this is the radio song, not Welcome to the Jungle.
We could play this at eight o'clock in the morning.
So you broke Guns N' Roses?
I didn't break them, but I did break them in Tampa.
Wow.
Did you get to see an unknown Marilyn Manson
at all down in Florida?
I, there was a band called the Jenna Torturers, right?
So, I mean, this was like Dominatrix with a metal band.
The Jack Off Jill, those were all like Florida bands.
And they had these fucking, they were like bringing their,
and the lead singer of the Jenna Torturers was hot as fuck,
and she would, you know, bring slaves in
and smack them around
by real near.
And they're like, we have our friends here.
And I go, who are they?
Some guys with fucking lunchboxes.
I go, don't let those motherfuckers in here.
We kept them in the hall.
We let them come in because we were with the hot chick.
And a friend of mine had managed him.
And he fucking hated Manson.
He was like all the way back there,
he was like everybody else in the band is fucking great,
but that kid's fucking sick.
He sucks.
Yeah, he sucks, and he's ugly, and he's sick.
I don't think you're going to,
yeah, we did a thing with the genitortures like eight o'clock in the morning
and people were running out and throwing up
because she was putting spikes through my producer's dick.
Jesus Christ.
That's when radio is good.
Yeah, that's when radio,
you're gonna come up with something sick
and not do anything the rest of the day.
Well this is her a little older, Christina.
Yeah, this is her.
That was Madonna.
She has a muffin top on her back now.
Like, no, that's not what I meant.
She still has to wear the same clothes.
You think Manson will ever be able to have a public life again?
He's going, he's on tour with Five Finger Death Punch.
They're starting a tour.
He's not going to do jail at all no everyone dropped all the charges got
dropped everyone came out and said like Evan Rachel would basically like kind of
got him all goosed up to do it and they all just kind of pulled back we're like
and she couldn't she couldn't make it happen I guess not well the charges
what was he saying they had all kinds, like sexual abuse and torture
type stuff and everything.
As they say on TikTok, grape.
Ha ha ha.
But it was, yeah, they definitely, like, it all
got dropped.
What kind of sex did they think they were going to have when
they hooked up with Marilyn Manson?
That's almost the thing.
When you hear it, it's like, he used this,
and she calls this thing like, this electrical thing
that is designed to like, shock you and whatever.
And then we looked it up, like she gives it by name.
And you look it up, it's like, it is a sext,
it's like a sextile you'd find like at,
like on Sixth Avenue.
Like in a place.
I thought it was like, he was bringing in like an actual
like cattle prod, like zipping her while she,
it made it sound like it was a McCain-y manor or something.
He had the knife dildo from Seven.
But you should agree to it first, you know what I mean?
Like you can't spring in on somebody.
Without a doubt, without a doubt,
but I do think like,
You're gonna show the prototype?
This is what I'm thinking.
Yeah, but if you went to Marilyn Manson's house
and he started making love to you on a bare skin rug,
you'd be like, what the fuck's happening here?
Exactly.
Like, is it gonna rain blood?
Are you gonna release hounds on us at some point?
Yeah, exactly.
Is something crazy about to go down?
How come you're not cutting yourself?
That's the problem, he should've died,
he should've been in the 33,
he should've been in the 33 club.
27 would've been a little young for him, still be known.
33, he would've died a legend,
and now he just is an old guy who has to do that.
You know what I mean?
He has to go put a contact lens in.
And by the way, if he doesn't, I'll be upset.
Once he accepts adulthood completely,
I'm like, well I'm out now,
but also I am gonna sit here and say,
I think it's weird that you're doing that at this age.
Right, it doesn't quite work the same way.
You have to do it, but all you gotta do is stay thin.
Or whatever you were when you started.
You know what I mean?
If you stay what you were when you started,
or in your prime at least, you'll be fine.
Axl Rose gets shit for one thing, no one even cares.
I don't think he could sing that good back then.
No, he couldn't.
He couldn't, he was always a problem with singing.
It was that he looked awesome
Yeah, and they played their part. Yeah now he's always in true religion jeans. He looks like he lives in st. Pete
He has his hair cut like he's always what Edward Norton did in 25th hour
He gives his hair cut where he's like, I don't want to get raped when I go to prison. So I'm making myself ugly
Yeah, I mean that he could do something else with it.
Yeah.
There's choices that could be made.
You don't have to have that haircut.
He's had work done to his face too, I think.
It looks odd.
I don't know, man.
It looks like a picture of someone's mom.
That haircut is terrible.
He's still not as bad as Vince Neil.
Vince Neil looks terrible.
Well, Robert Smith kept his look.
Yeah, Robert Smith, Jesus Christ.
Still dressing like a goth.
No, still dressing like a goth,
but again, the same thing.
His body does not support that look.
Yeah, but Jovi, Jovi aged well.
Jovi wears like-
Because of the music.
Yeah, he looks like he has some type of fucking wine
in Long Island.
He does.
He has his own venue in the shade.
They made a smart move on Jovi. some type of fucking wine in Long Island. Like he does, he has his own venue and shit.
They made a smart move, Bon Jovi.
They went, before he was not cool looking anymore
to young people, they switched their music
to adult contemporary before they hit the age.
Wasn't it always adult contemporary?
I think if you go back to like the Runaway
and those things, it was always like radio. It was always girl first. It was radioway and those things, like it was always like radio.
It was always girl first.
It was radio ready rock for sure.
But it was definitely like, I thought it was cool.
I thought they looked cool and everything.
And they stopped that and started just putting on like,
you know, very well fitting jackets over.
They started dressing like lesbians,
but early enough in their career.
Lesbians, he does dress like a lesbian.
Absolutely, those are the indigo girls.
But he's been dressing like that
since he didn't look like that.
So he eased the audience in.
I did the same thing with my baldness.
You jumped in way early.
I jumped in early.
I shaved it when I had a widow's peak.
But here's the thing, would you have rather been
like in a hard fucking metal band with guys showing up
or doing this kind of shit and have a look out
and see beautiful women everywhere.
You know this for sure.
No, Matt Wright figured it out.
My audience is like a sausage party dude.
It looks like a Sons of Anarchy meeting at my shows.
My front row is just me over and over again.
Yeah, same thing.
And there's just one gay guy, hi Bobby.
And then there are girls who I have to take
on a 45 minute journey of looking at me like,
all right, I came to being like, all right,
that wasn't so bad.
Yeah, the only hot chicks at the end
when they're just taking the photo of their boyfriend,
no, I'm good, you wanna get in?
How many times somebody says no, I'm good to pictures?
Like, don't have this conversation away from me.
Yes.
Do you want a picture?
No, I don't care about that, man,
I just wanna say it's a good show.
Okay.
I already started putting my arm around you.
I'm here with my husband.
So I'll take it.
I'll take the picture.
Where they complain about me to me for their husbands, he goes, every morning with the
song starting the show and then Jacob's voice and blah, blah, blah.
You're like, okay. and you're like, okay.
And you're like, okay.
And he's like, I love it.
Just laugh in the picture with you.
I don't give a shit what she says.
She fucking hates your guts.
She's a crabby bitch, I probably shouldn't have
brought her, but anyway.
Now, what band do you think had equal male and female fans?
Because I think that's the rarest gig of all.
It was an era. 80s hair metal.
I think Aerosmith.
Really?
Aerosmith.
I remember going to Aerosmith concerts.
There was a lot of dudes and a lot of chicks.
Yeah.
Yeah, because this shit was pretty hard at the beginning.
Pretty heavy.
Oh yeah, when they came back from rehab.
And then they came back and they had Angel and all that shit.
And they had some guys hoping they would get back to the old sound. They would still play some of the old stuff. I think that was one of the bands Aerosmith
I'm sure especially now you'll get all kinds of stuff, but I think a young poison Van Halen sure guns and roses
Van Halen
Yeah, when they went to Hagar
They they had a lot of girls and you know
Yeah, well they came out there pretty heavy and I saw him with Hagar and it was pretty mixed a lot of girls and you know, when they came out they were pretty heavy and I saw them with Hagar and it was pretty mixed,
a lot of hot chicks and shit and dudes.
Which Van Halen did you prefer?
You know what, I used to prefer David Lee Roth,
but then I went back and did a deep dive on Hagar
and Hagar was a better singer.
I like Hagar.
Of course, David Lee Roth, you're a better singer
than fucking David Lee Roth.
I mean, yeah, it's kind of sad.
Yeah, but the definitive, the uniqueness of sound though,
really, I'm gonna listen to Van Halen,
I'm always thinking in my mind,
I wanna hear David Lee Roth.
I mean, I love those songs, they're a little harder,
but I think Hagar was a better songwriter.
I thought he was, and plus he's out there with a guitar too,
he's actually doing something.
Well, you know, David Lee Roth had to get a sword.
He'd flip around.
Bozy, bozy, bop, diddy bop.
Yeah, he went into that.
But he was a great frontman.
Great frontman, but it is funny when you tell the band,
he goes, guys, you guys gonna get a drink?
I'm gonna do a little Bo staff work.
Yeah, that's so stupid.
It was built into the concert.
Do you remember when he cut his nose off?
I just got these sick ass sighs,
so I'm gonna do this for a little bit. Remember when he was on Jimmy Kim remember when he cut his nose off? I just got these sick ass size, so I'm gonna do this for a little bit.
Remember when he was on Jimmy Kimmel
and he cut his nose off?
Yes.
I watched that happen.
Oh yes, swinging that thing around.
He just cut, and then he came back out
with just the thing on his nose.
It's like, dude, nope, it's over.
This is the comeback.
They played the wah.
I remember that.
Yeah, they played the wah.
I couldn't get down.
Yeah, and I knew it was over when he showed up with,
he had one of those Scally caps on and overalls. I'm like, no, they're not cool anymore. Yeah, and I knew it was over when he showed up with, he had one of those Scali caps on and overalls,
I'm like, they're not cool anymore.
Yeah, they're not.
Question, what made Wolfgang Van Halen
susceptible to being so heavy?
Didn't he have two tiny parents?
Well, his mom.
Mom's a little chubby.
Oh, Bertinelli porked up, that's right.
It's weird too because-
He's a good cook.
If he, do you watch your shows on him?
If he lost the weight though, I think he would look fantastic.
Do you think Eddie Van Halen had to sit around one day when Valerie Bertinelli came home
from work and goes, I think my TV sister was having sex with her father.
Because that came out after one day at a time and stuff, right?
Yeah.
That information?
Yeah, years later.
Yeah, and she really said it, she tells it very like, that's what I thought was interesting.
She doesn't tell it like, I'm telling you all my nightmares.
She's like, I might as well put it out there.
Me and my dad used to have sex, it was pretty rad.
And then I started it and I'll be that cool.
And then people were getting weird about it.
Wait, Hooty Bang?
John Phillips from the Mamas and Papas.
And I forget what her first name is in real life, but.
Mackenzie.
Mackenzie Phillips, yeah.
The ugly one?
Well, that's mean to say, but yeah.
That is not nice.
Agreed, but I will say, yes, exactly.
In fact, the-
I'd rather fuck Schneider.
I'll even say the ugly one of the Phillips girls.
Oh, yeah. He had way harder daughters.
You could have fucked. Yeah.
He could have had the religious one.
Oh, there was a isn't also his daughter is the one from
China Phillips. Yeah.
It's Wilson Phillips. Yeah.
She's the one that married the crazy fucking brother, right?
One of the bald ones.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And by the way, that would have been, yeah,
McKenzie, I don't know why he went with McKenzie Phillips.
I probably figured she'd be the most receptive.
Probably not getting a lot of play at school.
China Phillips was inundated with phone calls
and little Valentine's Day cards on Valentine's Day,
two froms on Valentine's Day. And then McKenzie would come home and he's like, come on, let me, daddy's gonna cards on Valentine's Day, the two froms on Valentine's Day.
And then Mackenzie would come home and he's like,
come on, daddy's gonna take you in the club,
make you feel better.
You're my Valentine, that's all that matters, honey.
Yeah, Mackenzie Phillips.
Yeah, she was not that good looking.
Well, listen, she wasn't ugly.
Just Valerie Bertinelli was so cute on the show.
Now go to Michelle Phillips who was
Just like yeah, she was yeah, that was his wife
That's the mother of all and she's the reason that Pete look at the metal picture. She's the reason people moved to California
Everybody's when that bank came out everybody on the East Coast goes what the fuck is happening out there
Go back go go backwards to the other pictures. There's nothing there for because one of them she looks like
fucking no no no go to the original search one more back yeah that one on
the right don't that one right now she looks like
fucking Pennywise this joke has no payoff now don't click it it, Kristy, it doesn't matter.
She looks like Pennywise.
If you're driving home right now,
you know she looks like Pennywise.
Picture that.
They can't see it.
Timing is nothing.
My timing's for shit today.
No, she was gorgeous.
She was gorgeous and she broke motherfuckers.
She was one of those women that when she would be
with a rock star
or a movie star and break up with him
and he would go fucking crazy.
Those are my favorite women in the world.
I mean, Christine describes California culture
in such a way that mama cast was never gonna live long.
No.
Just she's gonna eat herself to death or do drugs
because she was just too big for the time.
She has the same feeling when I go to LA still.
Yes.
As soon as I land, I gain like 55 pounds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It seems like an awful, awful place to go for body image
without a doubt, and Mama Cass was a...
Yeah, she was big.
God.
Oh.
I mean, that's like a circus freak back in those times.
She was like Harry Tarjanian. I mean, she like a circus freak back in those times.
She was like Harry Turjanian.
I mean she has this mean.
She's a big girl.
Oh that sucks that they tried to put her in cute shit.
Yeah, hold this umbrella to cover your front.
What did she do?
She did something, she brought something good to the party.
I bet her voice wasn't amazing.
No, it was great.
It was, she had an amazing voice.
She had a great voice. And also she was had an amazing voice. She had a great voice.
And also she was like super fucking.
Well they were a harmony group.
Super cool.
Like she put together a lot of the Canyon bands.
She's wearing a quilt.
She's wearing the AIDS quilt.
Also to her, I also feel bad about her acceptance
of like Mama Cass, you wouldn't name a not fat person
that for their like stage name. Right. You know what I mean? Mama Cass, you wouldn't name a not fat person that for their like stage name.
You know what I mean?
Mama Cass, she's never been...
Nice bum.
Wow, this is...
It looks like you on Tummy Time.
It does.
It does, actually.
That looks exactly like you.
Oh, my God.
They made a cartoon.
The guy didn't even draw a skinny in the cartoon.
That sucks.
That is the worst when someone can choose to make you not fat, and they do anyway.
Yeah.
Here's the thing, they always said that she choked
on a ham sandwich, that's how she died,
but they said she really didn't.
She was, she OD'd on heroin, but it was just like
her death became funny.
Yeah, but she OD'd on heroin while eating a ham sandwich.
She fell asleep while eating a ham sandwich,
she nodded on heroin and choked on it.
That is a funny, well that's what I, that's my big belief on the why all these celebrities now are
dying by hanging death is because nobody since David Carradine and uh, in excess Michael Hutchins.
Yeah. If you say that's the way they went, it's the only legacy. There's not a song ever that NXS comes on the radio
where I don't, my first thought I go,
die jerking off this guy.
It's the only David Carradine thing you think of.
So.
Do you think somebody, like they invent stuff for everything?
They might just invent a way you could jerk off
by hanging yourself where it automatically releases you.
Like a Narcan but you're jerking off?
Yeah, like they just, it's like,
as soon as you go, d-d-d-d,
it just fucking goes chink and just undoes it.
You being serious right now?
No, I'm on a comedy show.
But are you being, are you doing comedy
that you're saying you're completely coming in here
and stealing an idea I've been pitching to Shark Tank?
Oh, wow.
For five years. Oh, I'm sorry. I've drawn this thing, I've been pitching to Shark Tank for five years.
I've drawn this thing, I've thought about it.
Jacob, you're on my back,
Christine, I can't believe you didn't look up when he said it.
You said, oh, it's a good idea, Bobby.
I brought this up at home many times.
Many times on the show.
You have drawings?
Something that you hang from.
And I've heard the argument from chokejerkers themselves
why this is not a good idea, but I think it is.
You have to acknowledge it every 30 seconds in some way.
And the first time you don't acknowledge it,
it releases you.
I'd have trouble coming if I had to constantly.
Yeah, you gotta focus on jerking off.
That's been the argument.
Also the argument says,
what you're chasing, a part of that rush,
is that there's not a chance you might die.
How about this?
From it, that there's like, what's the point of doing it?
It wouldn't be that exciting anymore.
If I can go on Shark Tank with you, if I can add this,
you add some type of heart monitor,
and as soon as your heart rate goes down
past a certain spot, it releases.
How's that?
I don't mind that.
Right, you slap it on your chest,
or maybe an iWatch app, an Apple app.
What about this?
As you pass out, suddenly a thing comes in
to hit you right in the throat,
opens up that air duct for you.
Oh, so like an automatic tracheotomy?
Yes. Emergency tracheotomy.
Yeah, yeah that's it.
And then everybody's happy with it.
You give it to your friends for Christmas.
Hey man, try it.
There's no danger.
Worst case scenario, you got gotta tracheotomy scar.
Have you ever came where somebody was choking you?
No.
I've never gotten into choking or being choked.
Also not into nipple play on me.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I hate when a girl touches,
ugh, when they go to your nipple and they start licking it,
I hate it.
I hate to draw race lines on things.
I find black guys always say they enjoy nip stuff more.
They do, yeah, they like a little nip.
I don't understand why.
Black Lou, not you?
But you've married into a very white universe.
That's interesting.
Correct.
A lot of black guys, Patrice loved the nip.
Yeah.
Nips.
Loved the nips being sucked.
Also, I think it's weird.
But he didn't have tits.
I was going to say.
And Patrice may be a little more comfortable in his skin
than I am on that.
That is a lot of it, too.
Don't play with my nips because I feel
like you're cranking my tits.
It's like you're playing with my nips on the edge of my tits.
You're supposed to do that to a girl.
Yeah.
She's actually holding your tit with two hands
and mushing her face into it.
Yeah, I don't love the fact you can gather my tits
on my body.
You don't like looking up
and she's fucking your tits with a dildo.
Not even with a dildo, just with her pussy.
If you're willing to grab like this,
you can really pull tits together
and that's how I feel is what's happening
when you touch my nips.
Yeah, I don't like the nips at all.
I hate it.
So you weren't familiar that he had come up with that
before, you thought?
No, I wasn't, was I?
I feel like I've said it since we've been on this show
to you, I feel like you took that in and brought it out
and you're like, I'm gonna press wrong
with this really great shark tank idea.
And then you just stole my idea.
What I was most hurt about Bobby wasn't that though. I looked over at're like, I'm gonna impress Ron with this really great shark tank idea. And then he just stole my idea. What I was most hurt about, Bobby, wasn't that though.
It was, I looked over at Christine like,
with a, you believe this motherfucker face?
And Christine was just like, what?
I'm like, the thing, the choke jerk thing.
You just yelled at her for not getting the internet right.
We'd still have Wicking Park.
She's actually glad that you're stealing,
that he's stealing that.
She's like, oh God, now you can get out of the laboratory
building this thing every day. Christine, try this one. Are you saying Ch that he's stealing that. She's like, oh god, now you can get out of the laboratory building this thing every day.
Christine, try this one.
Are you saying Chester died choking like that?
I feel that Michael Hutchinson was the sacrificial lamb.
Nobody wanted to be known for that after.
I think Chris Cornell.
They all said it was suicide afterward.
My argument, Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington,
both died choke jerking.
You wouldn't rather be thought of as somebody.
The family would rather.
The family, it's the family.
The family would rather.
That's my guess.
They go less embarrassingly just say,
Chris Cornell was just like he was depressed
and couldn't get past it.
I mean, I would feel worse as a father
to say he didn't come to me with these problems,
but I'm glad he didn't come to see his jerking off.
Did you see, you'd be like, oh, he wasn't in a bad mood,
he wasn't depressed about his family,
but they'd rather, they live in that shame.
If you have, is there the picture still
of Chris Cornell's crime scene photo afterwards?
The thing he's hanging from is something
that no one's used for
exercise since the 1920s and it's solely he brings this in his bag because it's
easy and he can just hang from a doorknob on it for sure. It's one of
those things he would step on and do this and do curls with. I use those now.
I use those now. Is this the room? No, God. Wait, you gotta get to the, look at that thing.
That thing is made, that's just to jack off with.
Yeah.
Well, maybe he was working out and he fucked up
and he said, well, no, that's a noose.
Yeah, he was choke jerking himself.
I mean, Chris Cranel is probably one,
in person, one of the most attractive people
that I ever saw in my life.
And I feel like, I don't think that he would kill himself.
That's right.
But they all did drugs.
They were heroin addicts.
That's what happened.
So an opiate addict told us once that a lot of people
do that because the rush of it, it
mimics like opiate feelings.
So that's why they do it.
So people have backed up this theory before.
What if there's a serial killer and he just kills famous people?
Holy shit.
That'd be great.
Hanging them.
I'll tell you what, you'll never get caught.
Jerk off guys.
Yep.
Have them come on their own stomachs and then hang them from a doorknob.
You'll never get caught.
Bobby, you know that's a screenplay that I've been pitching.
I swear to God. God damn it, Bobby. I didn't know that. Did you say that's a screenplay that I've been pitching
Did you did you notice how many porn stars keep dying in like in the last couple months and that seems us
Well, I'll tell you what the one Jesse Jane
We had her on SDR show
like Maybe four months,
five months before she passed away.
And she came on and again, it's one of those things,
you don't know what to say to people.
I think you've had things like this too on the show
where I've seen you though with a, was it Ginger Baker?
When you sent him home.
Like you're like, this isn't right,
they're forcing you to do this.
This girl came and did the show.
I mean her jaw wouldn't stop moving.
She never answered one question,
she just kept moving like this.
And then I'm such a dummy, I'm like, it's still Jessie Jane.
She goes, you ever perform in Tulsa?
I go, I do perform in Tulsa.
Can I come to a show?
Yes, in this condition,
you're probably a great audience member.
And her and her husband came out to that show,
and I was like, oh, maybe we'll catch her
in a different thing, same, moving a thousand miles a minute.
But I don't know her that well.
And then three weeks later...
She's beautiful.
Three weeks later, dead.
Her and her boyfriend just dead next to each other for days.
No one even checking on them.
Holy shit.
Just OD'd.
She was gorgeous in her day.
She was beat up by meth by the time we met her.
But she was stunning when she was young.
She died at 43.
Yeah.
That's prime stuck porn.
Well, I'll tell you what.
If you're absolutely, I'll tell you what though.
If you're this, she was this hot and this like famous,
you know, she was dating all the rock stars and everything.
When you leave that, there you go.
When you leave that and you move back to Oklahoma,
it's because of distance to meth, for sure.
Yeah, try to move in a nice meth neighborhood.
She definitely was getting out of the Hollywood scene
and just was into meth because she was too hot.
Christine, Christine just goes against you.
No, no, no, I sure did.
No, Christine, there's no meth in California.
God.
We have to move.
There's not enough meth in LA.
I'm only shocked when I find out people do meth
in the desert, you know, like in that kind of fucking heat.
You want to do sweat all day and be bouncy?
Also, I don't know the meth now, but when I use,
the meth would fucking liquefy, right?
So then you'd have to sit and drink this fucking terrible thing.
Oh, the crystals?
Yeah.
Oh, God, that's awful, but I'm glad I got it.
I'm glad I got it.
I didn't know you could drink liquid meth.
I'm glad I'm holding it down.
But yeah, that was wild just to watch her like her last like.
What are the other porn stars that are dying?
Cagney Lynn.
Yeah, Cagney Lynn is the one who put a shotgun in her mouth, which that's fucking not an easy thing to do
Well, she's been blowing guys for years. It's probably easier for her
So you just a little deeper?
I think your argument is correct though. Yeah, you got to pull that trigger with your toe
Yeah, or a really like she's blown nine guys at once. So you're saying she's
You think the barrel is going to go in your mouth... She put a shotgun in her mouth and throwed it at him.
She has a trigger hitting her fucking chin.
She didn't shoot herself in the face, she shot herself in the liver.
Yeah, she blew her asshole out from the inside.
Wow.
I didn't know that with a shotgun in her mouth.
I thought that was an OD also.
Also seems like a very nice person.
You know what I mean?
Like, he was doing well.
Yeah, these guys are great people.
I mean, now they have OnlyFans, right?
I have an, you know, 20.
Only for female comedians.
How crazy, I watch these podcast clips from these shows
that just bring on OnlyFans girls,
and basically shit on them and make them feel terrible
until they leave.
I love them.
They're great shows.
But they have these girls, and that's what it is,
they're lost in this world that it's just like this.
And they're so, a lot of them are so not savvy,
and there are exceptions to this for sure,
but so many of them aren't savvy,
that even in the world of OnlyFans,
that requires nothing but you willing to do it
and doing it at your house.
And it's guys watching.
If you're a hot enough chick or willing to do whatever
the stuff guys wanna see, you could take pictures
with your iPhone 4 and put them up there,
and then some guy comes into these things still
and goes like, no, you need somebody to organize this
and make sure the tears of OnlyFans,
and it's like they come in to still get like pin cuts
of nothing, and so it's still that kind of a world,
and it's just, I'd say it's the dilemma I'm having
with the SDR show.
As fun as the show is, and they still have porn stars
come on and like, they're gonna see who could get
the bigger butt plug in their butt or something.
I still have like that going there,
like oh this is gonna be neat.
And almost 100% of the time, by the end of the show,
I'm just like, hey call your family kiddo.
Like this is, what are you doing?
I said the one where my head hit the microphone
was completely that girl goes,
she goes, I love getting toes in my asshole
or some guys putting their toes up my asshole.
So I was like, no way.
Then she goes, totally.
So then she sat.
Totally?
Yeah, that's her thing.
Totally. That's her angle.
That's her T-shirt.
That's her T-shirt, yeah.
She sat, she put her asshole on my toe.
She put my toe up her asshole.
And then sat back down in the chair,
and Ralph goes, he goes,
well, when did you, he goes,
when did you realize that you were into that?
She goes, well, I think right when I first got
into business, I realized I was into that, so three years, she goes, well I think right when I first got in the business I realized I was into that so three years she goes I'm 21 now so three years ago
and I just went my head just hit the microphone like what if I just done yeah
I'm like this is not gonna be something she's like when she's giving her sad
like crying in a shower going like well that that guy was cool though. I would
have. Here's another one of those stories like, and then I just let some dude toe my asshole on a show.
Oh God, that's the stuff I worry about.
Just my kid seeing that one day, Dad is this you?
Right.
Is that Louis sucking your dick for real?
No, it was a dildo.
His girlfriend.
Try to make him understand that.
His girlfriend, his girlfriend now actually liked him
because she thought he was really sucking my dick.
And she was like, wow, he's cool,
he's free with his sexuality.
He thought, she liked it.
Oh, you're just a homophobe who pretends to suck dicks.
I got so lost, I thought you were talking about your kid.
Me too, I swear to God me too.
I'm like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, Louis sucked over my kid. No, no, no, I think we both thought you were talking about your kid. And then you made him make it out of. I'm like, what the fuck is going on?
Yeah, Louis sucked over my kid.
No, no, no, I think we both thought you were saying
your son thought it was awesome
that he thought it was real.
No, Louis is girlfriend.
Well, no, I thought you were saying your son's girlfriend.
I was like, son's girlfriend?
I'm gonna have to explain that to Max one day.
No, that's a dildo.
What's a dildo?
It's a fake penis.
Why is it bigger than yours, Dad?
You can make a Netflix series of Luis J. Gomez
talking to a teenage James about what he's done in his life.
What a fun one, thank you so much.
Oh, we actually have, after this commercial break,
we'll be airing, we did an interview with Gary Clark Jr.
Yes, that was awesome.
He's so good.
I uncomfortably told him to pick up a guitar
with no seconds left in the show.
He's gotta go and I was like hey you want to sing a song? He was like I guess.
No and Jacob I'm glad you said that because Gary Clark Jr. came to Legion of Skanks last night
and I said to him I go dude we'll take that out because then he goes leave all that shit in there
man. He's like it's great. He's like I just did it and I was like eh. He's like he noodled on it
and he was like that doesn't sound good on acoustic. I'm like, I just did it, and I was like, eh. He's like, he noodled on it, and he was like, that doesn't sound good on acoustic.
I'm good.
And he just came back, and I was like, yeah.
I'm like, and he goes, leave it.
He goes, leave it all in.
So you don't have to take any of it out.
I asked him, I go, we'll take it out.
There's an easy cut to make, so we'll cut it out if you want.
He's like, I go, Liam, you want that out?
And he was like, you don't take that out.
Lou was up till 5 in the morning editing everything out
to make it look seamless.
I was.
Oh, shit.
Cut it so it sounds like I'm playing the guitar now
Before we get out of here Ron just just noodle around a little bit
The great Ron Bennington everybody you guys I'm glad we finally buried that
I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for uh you guys. Listen to The Bennington Show right here
on SiriusXM Faction Talk 103, Monday through Thursday,
12 to 2 PM.
Then you get the Eddie Trunk Hours, and then we come in.
Is it Eddie Trunk still between us?
Yeah.
Nice.
We'll see you again in 1974.
See you again in 1974, everybody.
See you later, Ronnie.
The great Ron Bennington, everybody.
When we come back, back everybody Gary Clark Jr
Let's make official intros here everybody's bonfire faction talk serious XM 103 big Jay Okerson the great Robert Kelly
We have an awesome awesome guest in studio say first time on the show known him for some time now
It is living guitar legend, everybody, Dreamboat.
Dreamboat.
Gary Clark Jr.
What's up, buddy?
In the house.
Welcome back to New York, buddy.
In his great intro, Jacob was doing his little keyboard shit.
Yeah.
Underneath, I forgot.
I forgot.
Real nice, Dick.
I know, I'm serious.
We're just talking about shitty intros.
It's all right. I appreciate you, man. It's good to be here. Oh, dude, it's good to see you, man. Real nice
Sorry, I appreciate you man, it's good to be here. Oh, it's good to see you man. Welcome back to New York City. Thank you Yeah, we met downstairs. That's right in the elevator. Actually, we were in the elevator
We had a great moment
It was when Dan was still on the show and we were in the elevator and everyone in the elevator was doing like a that's him
Right to each other
Everyone's doing to each other. That's I've never had other. That's him. I've never had that.
Is that him?
I don't have that at my house.
I got your same problem at my house.
Who the hell is this guy?
Isn't it weird how famous you are
and when you go home you just take the trash.
What?
Oh yeah.
I just did five sold out shows.
People who, and I didn't have sex with anybody.
I didn't eat anything. I went to bed early,
take out the trash, you take out the trash.
Yeah, right?
Man, no respect.
I do get that feeling in my house.
Unfortunately, Christine works with me also,
but I still get to do the,
I'm still doing more, so you should do more house stuff.
And when I do things, I also do them all reluctantly,
like I'll start folding laundry,
but with a size and looking at her, like, no, no, no, I should chip in things, I also do them all reluctantly. Like I'll start folding laundry, but with a size and looking at her.
Like, no, no, no, no, I should chip in too, I guess.
I only pay all the bills and stuff, it's whatever.
Here's the trick to it.
Don't do anything ever.
And then when you do something, I cleaned the house one day,
I came, Dawn came in and she cried.
She was like, oh my gosh.
Like I gave her a diamond from like the Titanic.
Yeah, I did the dishes the other day and I was like a golden god around my house.
Dishes.
But you need to feel that way.
You can't just do it and that's what Cristino sometimes
just act like, yeah, well he's vacuuming today.
I go, I'm doing it to prove a point to you
that this could be done with your schedule
if I'm fitting it into my schedule.
Flex.
Did you fix that camera?
It tilted so.
That was pretty good.
Are you in town performing?
You're performing, yeah, I saw it on Facebook, I believe.
Yeah, I'm doing a thing, what are we doing?
Solo sessions.
Solo sessions.
Oh, we have it here.
Solo sessions, I've been doing some TV stuff.
I'm running around, but I'm looking forward
to seeing you guys for sure
Oh, yeah, man. How long you here for? Oh
I think one more one more day one more day
Are you on currently on tour like going city to city? No, not yet. We go on tour in May
I'm just I got a record coming out and doing that whole thing. You're from Austin, right? Yeah, Austin, Texas
How like like what's happened to Austin,
is it, you excited about that?
Oh yeah.
How crazy it is now with comedy?
No, I love it.
I mean, I'm a fan of you guys.
So to see you guys regularly come down to Austin
and the whole comedy scene blowing up, it's amazing.
Have you done Kill Tony yet?
I have.
Yeah, I did Kill Tony.
Did you get to be mean to people?
No, I didn't know how to do it, man.
I froze up. I froze up because I realized, I was I was like man to do a minute of stand-up comedies
You could keep critiquing them like on the American Idol like positive
No, there was a there was a lot of I was like, well, that was interesting, you know
I get it. I think you know, I saw where you were going. There's a couple of guys
Kill Tony is a weird thing because there's some scary folks that'll show up.
Oh yeah, to perform.
Yeah, because they're so scary.
So I found myself kinda leaning to the left
a little bit like Tony, I'm scared.
Something happens, I'm getting up out of here.
There's always an older guy on Kill Tony
who seems like he's mentally, like has problems.
And then he comes out and they're like,
every show I've done, there's just some version of this.
Everyone seems to know him already
And he seems borderline dangerous
All you gotta do is look down at their shoes if they don't have laces leave
That's my that's my thing. That's the sign. Yeah, there's no laces. I'm out
Bobby stopped me from fighting a bum two weeks ago, and when he grabbed my arm to pull me back
He goes no dude. He's got no laces
Two weeks ago, and when he grabbed my arm to pull me back, he goes, nah, no, dude, he's got no laces.
You don't fuck with a dude with no laces.
You don't, you got nothing to lose
if you're willing to jump out of your shoes.
He's wearing shell toes with no laces,
don't fuck with that guy.
Not at all, no problems with that guy.
Have you seen, in Austin, since the time
you've been there too, with not even just the comedy
building up, but just that sixth street in general?
And I know from going down from Moon Tower all those years,
watching it go from a place that was pretty quiet and great
and then party on the weekends
to being just websites dedicated to violence on 6th Street.
Oh, yeah.
It's crazy.
No, it's nuts. I knew we were in trouble.
One year I was walking down the street
and there was a couple that was laying on a cardboard box
with a
blanket and pillows passing the joint back around like watching a movie on a
phone. Doing just fine. Yeah. I was like if this is we're okay with this. I have a
theory about all the homeless people how they were there and then they're
gone. I believe the government learned how to turn homeless people into
scooters
Because if you look at the end of the night, this is these homeless looking people scooters just lying down Yeah, I fucked up and drunk all over the place. Yeah, it's crazy
It's it's a mess down there
but I you know, I love what the what what the comedy scene is as brought to the city man and hopefully
These music venues will take note and you and these musicians will kind of take note.
Because the way you guys move is special, bro.
It's really, it's an art.
Well, I mean, you got the whole Shane Gillis crew
just moved down now, all of them.
Yeah, like the whole Philly crew moved down there.
You know, I have a theory about couples that are homeless.
You see a homeless couple outside sleeping on the street?
That guy's got a monster heart.
Because no woman has to sleep on the street any night.
The ugliest woman.
Doesn't have to sleep on the street.
She was cute, and she was too comfortable with this dude.
She likes his free spirit.
I like his free spirit.
Jay got that theory because he lives in a high-rise
with a doorman.
That's what I do. I go by homeless goals and I look at Christine and I go,
that could be you. Would you follow me right to this place? No. Well,
then do the dishes.
Do the dishes or else. Yeah. Right. The homeless, the couple.
Homeless. When I went down there was like the night of the living dead, the way they
followed it.
Is that cleared up now?
Yeah, they fixed it I think.
Really?
Yeah, it's a little bit better.
They changed that, it was like a camping law or something they said was the whole thing.
It was like a camp where you can camp on any, I don't know if it's municipal or government
property so they just started that, at the end of 6th Street that overpass was just a
city of homeless.
And they would, that's the
first time I've ever been asked this question from a homeless guy. First of all, your homeless
whites keep them. I'm like call a family member dude, figure it out. You're here because you
love drugs or some shit. But he came up and he was like, you have any change on your mind?
I go, nah, there's not any cash on me. He goes, I could walk over to the ATM right there,
like sure, there's a lot of things we could do.
I can go apply for a loan in your name right now.
I could go, yeah.
He goes, you could do this.
He goes, I'm aware of all my options.
I had a guy ask me, I go, you got money?
I go, I got nothing on me.
He goes, you got Venmo?
I was like, you got fucking Venmo?
Is that how they roll it?
Pulled out a phone.
He wanted me to Venmo money.
Man, I break him off a little Bitcoin,
pull out my phone, he goes, you want a little bit coin?
It's rising right now, it's on the rise right now.
What's that fancy hotel downtown, what's that called?
Oh, Driscoll. Driscoll.
I was at the Driscoll, I was like,
this is such a nice hotel.
I was out on the little balcony,
kinda hanging out, having breakfast and stuff,
and five guys on bikes pulled up
and threw Rambo knives at a fucking wall.
Like some store that went out of business with the plywood on it just took them out
of their backpacks and hucked them into the thing and they just went ting ting ting and
then they grabbed them, put them back in their bag and drove off.
A little practice.
Yeah, practice.
Hey, there's a good spot.
Let's try that.
A little Texas practice.
Crazy shit on the scene.
Yeah, it's wild down spot. Let's try that. Little Texas practice. Crazy shit you've never seen. Yeah, it's wild down there.
I like it though. I don't want it to be, you know, I don't want it to be like, Nashville's crazy, but it's, I like the little danger.
I like having that, like when I leave the mothership, having to kind of trot back to the hotel.
Oh yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah. Drive back, look over your shoulder every now and then.
Some Spanish girl with like half a jug hanging out of her
That's the best with the six-street fights, it's always girl, I don't know
Women just dress for the fight. Don't dress for the club
You're dressing for the club and then your fight has your whole hooch hanging out, and everyone's looking.
Camera guys are just focusing in.
YouTube gold.
I can't pull, I never think to pull my phone out
for exciting moments, particularly fights.
I just watch. The balls on these guys
when the girls are fighting to just go up,
I mean, they must be on their knees between their legs,
like filming their underwear, like, look at this shot.
People screaming for their lives.
Also, the cops down there have more than I've seen
anywhere else, because I watch all those YouTube videos
of that.
They have the mace that shoots like eight feet.
So they just wait for these girls to have a big fat lady
pile on, and then just from like 15 yards away this guy just
starts whacking the pile and they're all rolling around and freaking god damn it.
It's a wild place.
Yeah it is.
Speaking of the Drisco did you notice it was haunted?
Did you hear the stories of it being haunted?
I believe in that.
Jay doesn't believe in ghosts.
I believe in ghosts.
He doesn't believe in it.
I was in an elevator.
Elevator dropped the floor.
Yeah.
That's pretty scary.
It's a crazy hotel.
I like hotels like that.
We actually did a seance in a hotel in Baltimore
and some stuff happened.
Yeah.
You're not into it though, Jay?
Well, when Bobby said stuff happens,
he hired a Industrial Light and Magic Light team
to come in and hook dental floss up to a lot of things.
He's like, oh my god, only the things are moving
that could move with invisible wires.
First of all, it wasn't dental floss, it was fly fishing.
It was the smallest one so you couldn't see it.
It's professional.
I'll tell you why the Driscoll particularly,
I don't believe, is haunted.
Because the girl at the front desk,
when I checked in the one time, I go,
is this place haunted?
And she was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a, like an old lady
walks around on the 13th floor.
She was so like casually bad, she goes, yeah, yeah,
and I think there's like an evil butler in a room or so.
She was so just like, she was so like,
just like passive about like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's lots of hauntings here.
Demon possession.
That means it is.
That means they're so used to it that they've seen it
Yeah, it's absolutely haunted. You know, here's how you get me if the person like raises their head
I go hey, I'm here to check in and their gray roots are coming into their hair and they go you don't want to stay here
I
can't leave
Then you go on maybe I shouldn't eyes roll back the girl which is like her own thing. She was like, yeah, yeah, there's a,
I think, like a demon in 1406.
A butler, you said a butler.
She said everything she said, it was hell and haunted,
was so like, and then I think one person said
there was like a Civil War child screaming
or something in the middle of the night.
Well, you know what's funny too,
because ghosts are always old white ladies.
You never see like an angry Puerto Rican ghost.
Like, what the fuck man?
Because black ghosts are cooler.
They come back like Candyman,
just covered in bees and cool fucking coats.
That's right.
White ghosts are just the boos.
Boo.
Swinging chains and shit.
Candyman had a hook hand.
Whatchamacallit.
Yeah, the scene, although Austin, Texas, I gotta say though, at this point, it's almost like
Nashville in that way.
It becomes such a popularized city that you get, like, the posers of that lifestyle almost
come down there.
Do you know what I'm saying?
You see, like, the guy from Chicago who now is a cowboy hat guy?
Oh yeah.
I fully understand.
Now that, now I have some perspective,
now that we finished Yellowstone and caught up to it,
now I've got some perspective that I would be that asshole
if I started just going full ranch life look.
Yeah, we definitely notice up and down South Congress
is like, you know, but you call them out,
you'd be like, no, you don't wear the felt
in the summertime.
No, there's no way.
Supposer, no, you don't.
Do you have a cowboy hat? I do. You do, a bunch? No, I've got two. I got my granddad's no way. It's a poser. Do you have a cowboy hat?
I do.
You do? A bunch?
No, I've got two.
I got my granddad's old Stetson's.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's the album cover.
That's the greatest silhouette.
Flap rim hat.
I couldn't pull that off.
I look like the bad guy from Poltergeist II.
Man, after a while, I looked at myself in the mirror
and I was like, I gotta do something else. You switched that from switching from that hat?
Yeah, I had to.
I was like, I'm just a big dumb guy
in a big dumb hat, big dumb boots,
planking all over the place.
I was like, man, it's killing my back.
I gotta do something different.
We just had Marcus King in,
which you guys just played a show together.
I love that dude, yeah.
He's so good.
That's a tall hat.
The hat he wears is crazy tall.
You can have it, bro.
That's like flying with a Hasidic Jew.
It's like, all right, put it up top.
I gotta put my luggage there.
Marcus's hat is up there.
I like him though, man.
He's been doing his thing.
He's got the big hat, man.
He's a big dude.
He's wearing the suits with his chest out.
He's like, he's going, man.
He's so cool.
Like you guys, let me tell you something, man.
You guys, country blues, rock and roll, you guys, I envy it man you got country blues rock and roll you guys I
Envy the fact that you get to be cool. I always have to kind of be silly
Well, I look at the outfit you have on if I bought those pants
They would make fun of me for see you look fantastic same outfit same colors same everything on Bobby
Yeah, we shit him we shit on him until he leaves and changes. I'm not gonna let you do that
We shit him we shit on him until he leaves and changes. I'm not gonna let you do that
You could pull these pants off with that green right now and you go crush it in these streets I can for sure you just don't let him talk to you like that. No, it's not me. I'm done
I've had all these changes
I got the nose rings and everything in my adult life and I've had to make those changes knowing you have to get through the
Simple times of people shitting all over you for it
and then it'll just become normal to them.
It's not even the friends, it's that every time
I leave the house my wife will go,
is that what you're wearing?
I was, I was, I thought I felt good about it.
Yeah, I mean, granted, I left the house one day all in blue.
She goes, are you on a sports team that I didn't know about?
Yeah, right, right.
It's just blue. I was just blue, I had blue sneakers, blue pants, a sports team that I didn't know? Yeah, right, right. Just blue?
I was just blue.
I had blue sneakers, blue pants, a blue shirt, and a blue jacket.
You need a wife.
Sort that shit out.
I think that's fly, though.
That's what I'm saying.
You need me to come hype you up.
Oh, dude, I would love for you to fucking hype me up.
I wish I could see some of your clothes.
Does your wife get involved in your stage stuff at all or do you even ask?
No, I don't ask and she doesn't really she used to
But you know there was a lot of times where she's like yeah that hat is stupid or that
shirt or Your ring looks stupid
But anybody calls you it's like if anybody calls you but again that's the beauty of you know what I mean? So, but anybody calls you, it's like if anybody calls you,
again, that's the beauty of, you know,
I just saw you at the State Theater a couple months back.
That's right.
I brought a, of course, man.
Always a great show, and in music,
you get to lean into the cool the whole time,
and have that moment, whether it's posing,
where the guitar's sitting,
when you look at the crowd for a second,
taking your beat, all of that is the, you have to laugh at that in comedy. You can't do it, you can't
be like, you know it's gonna be awesome, this next joke I'm gonna put my foot up on the
monitor. And they're gonna be like, what's this fucking pose he's doing? What an asshole.
Yeah, right. I think that night you showed up, I was wearing some stupid shit.
To get a Coogee sweater on.
Yeah, yeah, I think it was like it was something ridiculous.
I had a big dumb multicolored beanie on.
And it's funny I said it's when I sat down I go, I think he's changed his look.
The cowboy hat.
We're not even the cowboy there.
Is that a cowboy I considered the flat brim?
I would consider that a just just a straight up brim.
I don't know.
There it is.
Yeah, see that. Yeah, yeah, is. Wow. That was some stupid shit.
I think Keen and Iver Waynes wore that in living color. But see the thing is I know
that I don't look cool there. I think you look great. I know that I'm just being I'm
just being loud and ridiculous on purpose. Now that's the thing, exactly. If you weren't Gary Clark Jr.
and you walk into a grocery store like that,
you'd be like, who's this loud ass motherfucker?
But on stage, you're like, damn, that's what I wanna do.
Yeah, if you walk down the street,
you'd be like, that guy sells ice cream.
Bobby used to live out loud like that.
Bobby used to wear overalls
with no underwear or shirt underneath.
Just let his wiener fly around in overalls.
Remember when overalls were in like late 90s?
I can't, I can't, I can't go with you on that.
Of course not, dude.
The dungaree seams just ripping on your piece all night.
You lost me there.
I used to put my pager in the little pocket up top.
Yes.
I will say for the outfit you wore at the State Theater,
we came backstage to see after the show,
everything was different.
You were just back in a black thing,
that hat and a black shirt, just like, hey man.
Because you have, in the backstage,
you travel with a wardrobe for the shows, right?
Yeah, we started to now.
Right, you have like a whole thing in the back,
you wear a different thing every night.
Yeah, I try and switch it up.
But for a while I was showing up gig ready.
I would wake up, put the boots on, put the hat on,
and then by the time the gig would come around, my back hurt, and I felt stupid, and I was sweaty. Sweaty, I was gonna up gig ready. I would wake up, put the boots on, put the hat on, and then by the time the gig would come around, I had my back hurt, and I felt stupid, and I was sweaty.
I was gonna say sweaty, and I was like, damn.
This wasn't the look I was planning on.
It wasn't sexy, so I felt frozen.
I never knew that until I took my son
to the Bon Jovi concert, and he was on my neck
during one of the songs, and then he shit on my neck.
He was 15.
I go, no, no.
No, no.
Oh, oh, oh.
Here's the real problem.
He was 15 years old.
And it wasn't Bobby's son.
He was 18.
And no, he was five, but he's shit.
And I felt him shit and I was like, did you poop?
He goes, yep.
And he just kept singing.
So I knew David Bryan, I knew his daughter,
who I was like, he just shit on my neck.
And she's like, follow me, she took me backstage
into David's dressing room,
and I saw all these fucking awesome clothes.
And I was like, oh, they have different,
they have a whole wardrobe of shit
that they put on every night.
And then I changed him in his dressing room,
and I threw away little boy underwear
with shit in him in his trash.
I'm sure somebody found it like, what's David into?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That'd be great if it started problems for him.
Why is there child shitty underwear in here?
Why is there Spiderman underwear
with shit in him in David's trash?
It also depends too, have you ever done a tour
where you, like when I went out with Korn,
and even the tours I've seen them since, if I see them more than once done a tour where you, like when I went out with Korn, and even the tours I've seen them since,
if I see them more than once on a tour,
he picks the outfit for the tour,
and I guess they clean it every day or something,
because it was like one tour,
it was the same Henley shirt with green army pants almost,
every night, it was that look, yeah.
Yeah, well, we need more hits to have that kind of,
to have that kind of a world backstage.
Our wardrobe case is one wardrobe case
and it smells like the YMCA.
It's like it's Sunday.
It just stinks.
So you know the backstage showers, which I don't think it matters if you're a fucking Katy Perry level hits or a new band.
You're still taking a shower in the shittiest grossest shower in the world.
Do you still bring flip flops for the shower?
No.
You just go.
No, I don't.
You just don't shower at all? I just wait to the hotel.
Good move.
Yeah, I just wait to the, I feel,
you go rock these places and then you're in this thing
and it feels kinda, it feels kinda county-ish.
Yeah.
I think it's because, I think it's because.
Like prison.
Those rooms meant nothing because they're all from a time
where the backstage was just to like hook up.
Didn't matter if the, you're just taking a shower
while some girl's in there with you
and her father's waiting for her outside or something.
Jesus Christ.
You're just waiting for those times.
I think now when you go back in the shower,
if you're really just gonna go take a shower
to get cleaned up and go to dinner, you're like, eh.
I've used some questionable shit.
I've used just a bar of Irish soap
that was sitting in that shower before,
and you're like, oh man.
I'm still looking at who it goes,
hey, who was here last before us?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Darrell Hall.
Gwar.
Yeah, something gross.
Yeah, you're always hoping it's something good.
He goes, I think that was particularly a hot chick shower.
Oh, good.
I've used the shower, like I've done a couple theaters,
and I've used the shower, but it's not even like I had to,
it was like an hour from my house.
I just felt like I wanted to use all the amenities.
Showers are not amenities.
Get it while you can, right?
We use a building.
When I was on, what was it, Mayhem Fest,
and Christine came with me for a couple of those dates,
and when we went out, one time these showers,
because that was our thing every day, finding the shower
and just trying to get in there together,
if there's two stalls hopefully, whatever it is,
just go and be quick and get out of there one time
and I want to say, maybe up in not Buffalo or something,
but whatever it was, there was, it might be the Boston one,
the shower room is right off of a craft service,
not craft services, but catering.
Catering, yeah.
Right off of catering.
And then we're in that shower for a while.
Not fucking even.
Just hanging out in the shower, taking showers,
getting ourselves together.
No idea, something was wrong with those showers.
The drains were plugged, and when we came out,
they were currently dealing with the position of
the floor got completely flooded, the enemy her come out with like wet hair,
like what's up?
What's going on everybody?
Nice work, nice work.
Just destroy the backstage.
Those are not the ones we were supposed to use.
Do you like playing, like what size venue?
Because as a comic, I love small venues.
I mean theaters are cool,
I've done like bigger shows and like arenas and stuff,
but I like a 250 seater, 300 seater. Do you like the smaller venues
more or does it doesn't matter? Yeah well I'm kind of used to the smaller venues
I've spent all my time before the bigger venues were even a thing you know
sometimes the monitors were the main PA or vice versa you know what I mean so
and you're looking at everybody.
The room's smaller, so it sounds better.
Everybody can hear everything in these big rooms.
Sometimes the sound's bouncing all over the place
and you can't tell if the people in the back
are having a good time or it's just the folks up front.
Don't get me wrong, buy a ticket, fill the place.
Fill it up, get that money, right?
Right, yeah, yeah. We're going to the garden next you know what I mean, but
Yeah, there is something about being able to look people in the face and kind of feel that immediate
Responsive energy your type of music. It's it's like you want to be as close as you can and hear that like you know a big
Rock band you know it doesn't fucking matter sure but like Metallica
I wouldn't want to see them in a small. I mean I would, but in that big thing it's great,
but you know, jazz and blues and rock,
you kinda wanna see that in a smaller venue.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, you know, we just played a small show the other day
and I had the most fun that, I felt looser,
I felt like it was, it wasn't.
Well, the stakes are lower almost to some degree too.
I mean there's so many people involved
when it gets to a big, big production and stuff.
But you said earlier that you have to have more hits.
What constitutes a number of hits now?
I mean, let me say what constitutes anymore?
It used to be, I guess, nonstop radio play
and then the charts, but how do you even bump it?
What's the metrics now for any of that?
You put it out yourself pretty much. You go viral on tik-tok or something. That's me
He hoped there's some girl running up milk crates to it
You gotta help in the background a Chinese kid trying to use chopsticks for the first time. Yeah, I don't know what it is
I don't the business is changing. So you are you on social media? Do you do stuff? I have somebody do it
I I do it reluctantly
all of us.
That's the worst.
It's weird, you know, it's
it's weird to work on something and then go, hey, everybody,
check this thing out.
You know, it was sort of the mystery before of the person.
You didn't feel like you could touch Axl Rose or anything.
And now you're like, Gary Clark Jr. is an asshole.
He didn't respond to my DM.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, right. Who were you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to be a fan until you didn't respond to my 19th.
You know, you didn't plan my wedding, dickhead. Yeah, and I asked you nicely. Yeah, yeah. I had a lady come up to me this week at Sidesbooters.
She's like, you didn't respond to my DM. And I was like, I'm fucked, love.
Stop.
I'm sorry.
She just recovered from cancer.
Oh, well, get hotter.
She has time.
She recovered.
Hair's gonna come back, dude.
She's gonna be all right.
It came back, Jay.
Okay.
Some chicks look all right in a bandana.
It wasn't a big, it was a wig.
Oh.
Jesus Christ.
Anyway, Bobby, her, yes. You didn't reserve her DMs. I forget it. But she was mad at me, and I'm Oh, anyway, Bobby, hurry up. You didn't even reserve her DMs.
Forget it.
But she was mad at me, and I'm like, listen, man,
I don't see this shit, you know what I mean?
I don't respond to my wife's texts.
Yeah, I got your same problem.
It's a hard thing to have to manage this whole new
Instagram, Twitter, everything, and now you,
you used to be able to just make the thing,
let it go out there, and it became what it became.
You know, now it's like the average asshole
can have a hit song with a microphone in their living room.
Right, and then you hear stories of Prince
like just disappearing into thin air, you know what I mean?
I like to, I tell you what, I like to tell everyone
who's ever written me an emotional message
that I haven't responded to, I've read it,
and what I did was I read it in some place
driving to work, or just something like, you know,
in passing I read it, and I said to myself,
know this if you're listening.
I'm gonna write this person back.
And I just don't.
He's talking about my texts.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm trying to explain to Bobby.
We have a guitar over there.
Is there any way you could jam a little bit?
What do you want me to do?
Anything, dude.
Yeah. Anything.
I'll rock some. Is it bad? We gotta go? You gotta go? I gotta take him do you want me to do? Anything, dude. Yeah. Anything. I'll rock some.
Is it bad?
We got to go?
You got to go?
I got to take him out.
But we can do something real quick.
If he's down for it, we'll do something.
Are you down for it?
Let's do down to the crossroads, all of it.
The whole thing?
We did down to the crossroads.
I think it's like a 17 minute song.
Can we set up the drums real quick?
Yeah, right?
Jay's going to play drums.
I'm going to request all your difficult stuff.
Can you do Pearl Cadillac in full falsetto?
Oh, man. Oh man.
I'm not gonna put you through that.
Let's see what we got here.
I just got an angry face from everybody behind Jay right now.
Sorry guys.
You should have asked earlier.
Oh my goodness.
Real nice, Jacob.
You didn't even tune it.
It's the tune, I'm just tuning it to something else
because I don't like his tuning.
Well Jacob, why don't you learn his tuning, dickhead?
That would have been helpful.
Did you even get his writer?
I got it.
I've never done this on acoustic and it doesn't sound great so I'm gonna stop. Well I think you killed it.
Well thanks.
This is a nice guitar though.
Whose is this?
Yeah take it.
It's yours.
We gave it to you.
Right?
It's some serious right?
I think it's DJ Lewis but just take it.
Yeah just take it.
Take it.
Nah thanks.
Those are beautiful guitars.
That was hot trash.
I'll tell you what, that was already no.
That was better.
You were better at that than anything I've ever done in my entire life in history.
Don't do that.
That's true.
Don't do that.
Gary Clark Jr.'s new album, JPEG RAW, releasing tomorrow.
Oh, that's tomorrow.
Yes, that's right.
This is airing on Thursday, Friday, March 22nd.
You can listen to a Pandora sampler right now.
And the tour dates we got coming up, May 8th to June 14th, first leg of the US tour, June
30th to the 17th, European tour.
Then August to September, second leg of the US tour.
Then the South America Mexico tour.
And then third leg US.
I like you give all that love to the US.
You'll dip over there for the Mexicans.
You're right by the border.
I have to.
Yeah.
You should play the wall. That might be kind of a thing.
Hell yeah, play on top of the wall.
You'd be like, but back that way, everybody.
It was great meeting you, man.
Great seeing you, bro.
Thanks for coming on.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Gary Clark Jr., everybody.
It's the Bonfire.
Oh, the best, man.
Hey, everybody. thanks for listening.
That was just a portion of our actual SiriusXM radio show.
If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer.
That's right, and go to BigJComedy.com and RobertKellyLive.com to check out our stand
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