The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Back for the New Year
Episode Date: January 4, 2022The gang is back for the new year and they dive into stories about Patton Oswalt & Dave Chappelle, and a... possibly tipsy, Andy Cohen.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 mont...hs free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast.
You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM.
Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder.
I kicked Twitter during the commercial break and this guy was like, I was talking about
their watch, he's like, love a guy that wears wrestling stuff is making fun of a superhero watch.
That's a good point.
I don't you hate that when someone just drills you
and you're like, ah, there they go.
You know what, fuck you buddy.
And then I take a sip out of my 80s wrestling mug.
Lock and wrestling.
That's rock and wrestling, dude.
Yeah, it did shout out Steve Torieli for getting me that.
Hell yeah, that's awesome.
Dude, there's a camper that got me this fucking awesome 19 when I was in
Spokane she came out and got me this awesome
1985 glass she founded a thrift store at W.W.F. Glass from a thrift store is fucking bad ass dude
I brought it home like it was like a heart for my child. I was like,
no one break this. No one touched this. It was in a freeze pack. Yeah, dude, I was, I
was fighting for that. Thank you. Look up. Can you look up Christine? 1980s wrestler. Rachel
fellows. I just want to say that. Rachel fellows. Thank you for that class. Big gulp cups.
Because if I could find a vintage set of those then I would love to put those up in custody soda
Those things were the cool it was mr. Paul Orndor if they were always a way they were drawn so they were like way
Overly muscular Jacob you would shit. There was a run there where they did big gulp cups with NASCAR stars and that probably happens weekly
Oh, yeah, they probably still do that but yeah Like NASCAR, yeah, that's all over it.
Turn of the century, I think I had like,
it was really starting to smoke a lot of weed and I was like,
I should get all of them, I'm not even in the NASCAR.
Oh yes!
Look at those dude.
Oh yes!
85 big gulp cups.
That's not even a perfect second jar dog.
That's not even a perfect second jar dog.
Nikolai Volkov, Iron Sheik, Mr. Wonderful,
and the Hulkster, dude.
It went a weird collection of people, right?
Mr. Warner, I remember I had Paul Orndorf.
Those were all the three years.
You did.
I had this for you until they started like, you know,
you put those in dishwasher,
you wash them a bunch there eventually that.
Yeah, they, that's just going to come off.
You got a hand wash, does.
For being over 35 years old, they look amazing.
Wow, that made me feel, that means I got that.
My parents will let me crush fucking big gobs at nine.
Do you remember the Welch's?
That's not good parenting.
Yeah, like no, dude, have a barrel of soda.
Do you remember the Welch's?
It sounds good for you.
No, it's sugar in there. Sugar is good for you. It gives you energy. a barrel of soda. I have a barrel of soda. I have a barrel of soda. I have a barrel of soda. I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda.
I have a barrel of soda. I have a barrel of soda. I have a barrel of soda. I have a barrel of soda. I have a barrel of them and I was like, I'm about to steal these. I didn't. I have the same.
I have the reaction to that the same way I feel when someone has Mason jar cups at their
house now.
You're like, okay.
Okay.
I'm playing with the big boys now.
Yeah.
I remember with the first time I saw Mason cup was like one of my dad's friends house and
it wasn't ironic.
It was like really low class shit.
He's just like, oh, it was like this is what I have.
He's going to be making up or an old paint can. He just like, oh, it was like this what I have. He was, he was gonna make a cup or an old paint can.
Yeah, he made his, yeah, it was, ah, no,
those are the Lion King, but the Welch is once.
No, there's a winning the poo buddy.
Oh, it's winning, but it's Disney,
cause then it's Lion King all the way to the left.
Dude, those winning the poo ones are awesome.
Do you see the winning the poo's public domain now?
No, that's right.
Really?
Anyone could just own it? Everybody. And that's
Winnie the Pooh telling you everyone get a piece of me put me on t shirts on condoms.
I can't tell you what's that. Now I think that means legally you could voice over
Winnie the Pooh pornography with your dead-on voice. Oh yes. I'm just saying approach Dan. Dan's got the time.
He's got the time for a little voiceover work, little viewer.
I love when you shoot honey all over the bed.
Mm-hmm.
Give me your lady honey.
Oh, silly old bear.
I could lap up your lady honey.
Yeah, man, so many great words are there honey pot?
Oh, you guys have never honey-potted that's
when I stand in the middle of the circle and tigger and ee all rain down that honey on me we can
do gay fan fiction witty witty I don't know what you're doing right now what are you doing this
is for me I'm a bail that walks around without pants I'm capable of anything.
Silly or bare. I'm missing you.
He raped and just mauled to death those kids. He goes,
I am a bad. I'm half grizzly on my father's side.
I can't rent a call without getting pulled over in 2019 I was diagnosed by
polar I'm not an explaining to do they should just do windy the poo with mental
health you know a gorgophobia is quite normal those are it nailed at Christine
fucking a dude look at those god damn I feel eight you got the green brawn of sores orange
Tornosaurus Rex purple there you want to color in some shrinky dinks and then shrink
Dude fucking look at those blue stegosaurus is shout out Colorado. That's where the stegosaurus was discovered
That meant a lot. That meant so much to have those
Can you go for this? That's what you'd go for by the way if I went to a cupboard now
It's what I would go for. By the way, if I went into a cupboard now,
it's what I would get my eyes drawn right away.
I'm like, all right, I want the dinosaur.
Oh, society.
And then I'm like, I'll just get this mug.
Oh, society, right, right, right.
I'm an adult man.
I stay in on New Year's and I don't like superhero watches.
I will not take the orange Taranosaurus Rex, which is awesome.
I just got a picture of my mind of Dan wearing tube socks,
sweatpants, a shirt drinking a Heineken Zero's
out of a dinosaur cub.
Yeah.
Watch your football.
Just being like, well, good morning,
morning neighborhood, time for my hair.
Hello, near beer.
Ah, nothing like a nice cold, non-alki in the morning. Oh, man. I'll tell you what it helps with this purple tarot dactyl glass
I have the tarot dactyls and
Bronisaurus I didn't have the trinitose rucksacks in seconds
Did you call it non-acolic beer or road soda?
Yeah, I take it easy. I had to grab a road soda. Sorry boys. You know, I need my fucking man water. You think I'm stopping now, dude?
You think I'm gonna stop right back there
I know one stop
When a truck runs on diesel you got to keep that fuel in it
Cock diesel
Dude
Jacob we only have two ad reads today. What happened to the haters?
Yeah. They mad at us. What do we do? We're still loved. Do you think so?
You didn't do anything. I'm sure. Yeah. You're both very loved. Okay.
There you go. Just saying of the year, I think everything's low now. Okay.
I'm just gonna say back to you. I always want to use.
I want to use. Soon.
All right, I want to use black luo
always are like a ace in the hall with things like that.
I go, you're just going to take money out of a black man's mouth
before the holidays.
Okay, that's great.
Okay.
Okay.
Oh, after the holidays, you're just going to cut all the ad reads
off so a black man can't take care of his family.
Okay, real nice.
Oh, real nice.
Oh, real cool.
That's cool.
Well, let's get a play out well in court, dude.
That's going to play out real well in court.
Well, New Year's Eve, you know, while I was at home,
you were doing shows.
So was, I don't know if you saw Pat Naswell,
Pat Naswell took a picture with Dave Chappelle,
because they're both, he's been answering for it for,
I guess some reason. It's ridiculous to think for it for I guess it's ridiculous to
take a picture of it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. He shouldn't have said
anything about you. He's been like fuck off. Dude, I look at that. So the story is
that Pat and Oswald took a picture with Dave Chappelle because he was doing a
theater near Dave. Dave was doing the arena. Then Pat went over and did a
guest set in front of Chappelle. They took a picture. It was a very nice post. I liked it. I really
enjoyed it because specifically their season of HBO's One Night Stands was like what got
me into liking comedy on my own. It was like the first thing that I found myself and I
like love Dave and Pat and Oswald for a long time. And so I was like, do this is so cool seeing a picture of this and knowing that they have
different, I don't know, I don't really, I think they have different political ideologies
who gives a fuck point is.
No, they definitely do because it is.
Well, yeah, because then the next post is, he, did he delete the post?
Did he take it down?
No, no way. is uh... he did he delete the post did he take it down no
no way
the first post with him in the
oh maybe to get them that's it right there
but then did he put up a picture of him writing
in a notebook
and it was like this long apology about how
he didn't mean to upset
oh no i kept it up alright Oh no, I kept it up. All right.
But still, she just kept it up.
That's what we were looking at.
Oh, I thought he took it down.
No, he should just left it.
No, no, he, listen, he explains it because it doesn't matter.
I'm still friends.
His explanation is not bad.
It's just so wordy in the sense of like, dude,
you're over a pot, like you're, who cares?
I did love though that someone was like,
yo, remember when he went hard at
chain, I didn't even realize he went that hard at chain when chain got fired
from SNL.
Yeah, but he's like, pedal pretty quick.
He did.
I don't know.
So what?
Paul, just for what?
The what is the?
Okay. So he took up the conversation with Dave Chappelle.
So, uh, I guess people who were like offended by Chappelle's trans jokes that he's going to, like,
now they're like, oh, so you took a picture with him and you know him and your friends
with him.
So clearly you support his feelings on trans people or whatever they think his feelings
on trans people are.
And then instead of just letting that go away and not give a shit way a bunch of
Weeners complain about it pat and Oswald is folded right away and wrote this crazy long like a polygym
None of the apologies wrong word for it even
It's just like an explanation of why he can feels he can take a picture with Chappelle
And like you know, even though he doesn't believe and hopes that he changes his views and whole and all this stuff
Where it's like now you're just like needling at shapel
Like to get the people back on your side, you know, I mean
Where's the big shot shapel? I'll just be like who cares?
The pictures of bad choice you just writing down something. Oh, this is me dropping fucking fire
This is literally the picture that M&M used for the eight mile poster. But do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- I have I have a case I've built a case on why I should absolutely kick my friend under the bus because I posted a picture of us
Pat and Oswald's always been great man, but like this is
he's just
It's hilarious like by the dinger
What's that if you go to the post was like by our friend Brian which is great
By the way like it because here's the thing,
he doesn't explain anything necessarily bad.
It's the,
they wouldn't explain it all as the thing you're like, dude, stop.
You stop.
It's like, you don't have the answer for knowing Dave Shapoe.
I know Dave Shapoe and everyone's like,
oh, apologize for it.
Where is five years ago Dave?
People are like, you get along with Louis, I go, yeah.
They're like, why?
And it's like, I don't know.
It's a fun guy to talk to. Like, like, he's been fine to me. Dude, you get along with Louis, I go, yeah. They're like, why? And it's like, I don't know. It's a fun guy to talk to.
Like, like, he's been fine to me.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
Because he's a friend.
He's a cool friend.
Yeah, he's my cool friend.
No, me, I wouldn't even call me and Louis
to get like friends necessarily,
but it's like, I've never had a personal issue with him at all.
We've had weird moments together.
Oh yeah, that ride.
That ride from hell.
The ride from hell. For both of us. It was all for both of
the bomb. I'm just being like, I don't, you know, I mean, like, why don't, if there
was a picture of me and Louis, like, talking, I don't think I have to go, guys, guys,
guys, just like, listen, like, I don't, I know, it's not cool to jack off on
chicks. You know, I mean, like, why would I be, it's like, I don't know, like, it's
not like a whole different situation. I wasn't talking about Jack and off on Jix,
so that makes me only better.
Yeah, I'm really funny.
Because that picture was I was just talking about,
uh, you know, new TV show that just started,
we both watched.
Like, cares.
Like, he got to write and quick,
Pat and Oswald, look how long this response is.
It's like, when I walked into a room.
If you had all those fucking, if you had all those fucking notes, you would be ready to have a snappy come back.
It's like to write this again
Like the beginning of right there. I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a long time this New Year's Eve.
We've known each other since we were so much to winter in the wonderland of
West Virginia as I was
Oh, shit, let's take a picture with it. By the way, I hate to point out this thing, but is since we're teens written wrong
But that's saying that's saying we've known each other since we are teens
I don't think we're we were we apostrophe e are is we we were
Congratulations Jason you have found the mistake and you get a ticket for one out of
Mancelling on
Yeah, I
By the way, I like to point out them. I'm more offended by that grammatical error than I am about anything else that happens with this
to buy that grammatical error than I am about anything else that happens with this. Uh, Jim Alderson genius.
Thank you.
He's a fellow picture.
The funniest I've ever met.
Damn, dear, quick, damn gunslinger I've ever seen.
I wanted to post a pic in an IG story about it.
So I did.
The friend is old David Shapel. One of the most notorious gun slingers I've ever done seen.
Go back to go down to the rest of the thing. He talks about men with vaginas and women with penises.
It gets everyone all riled up. He's refocused and refined ideas. A lot of us took a settled about race and history
and life on planet earth and then spun him around with a phrase or a punchline. Quickest
dick is. But we also 100% disagree about transgender. Dude, that is is so funny 100% where you're like, hey, you know
I think trans teenagers have a kind of hard and Dave's like I do not I think they have too easy
And I think they need to be out on these streets patent. I don't think people should take in trans people
It's like you don't want 100% disagree. I don't want a 100% disagree with anybody. Well, he's just saying back
That's what I'm saying. Well, we also 100% disagree like now you I don't want a 100% disagree with anybody. Well, he's just saying that's what I'm saying.
But we also 100% disagree. Like now you probably don't. You probably agree with more than 50% of the
disagree. I disagree. I disagree. But it's like I support trans people's rights anyone's rights to live safely in the world as a full of selves and it's like
Yeah, I'm I kind of think should I would assume should pal feels the same way yeah, like lived safely in the world
It's he like some people should be killed man
There's people that need to die because they're being themselves and those people need to meet an unfortunate ending
It's how I feel inside. I feel that the great justice should be a mass murder of people that don't agree with me
Yeah, Dave. This is we are that's why I'm bringing to my annual Dave Chappelle block party fag bash
That's right. We go hunting. We hunt for anyone that's not a
train to do winner. Oh my god. You can't do this Dave. It's not a team. It's the
purge but only with gay people. It's one night where I go hunting. I am blade for just one thing. It's my one thing
Patten when you when you make over 65 million dollars doing four specials
You go buy a samurai soul and get some fat vampire teeth put in your mouth and you walk around thinking you blade
I am blade for one night. Oh
I don't believe shepella is done learning. It's so it's fucking. It's just here.
You're saying about him. He goes, he'll figure it out everybody.
And you're like, dude, shut the fuck up. Like take, you should take
that text and picture back. And again, it's not as
as any like a fuck up pat and Oswald thing. It really is. It's
just like in this situation. Like, Shappelle should be should be mad at him yeah absolutely doing I absolutely say I really
want to start anytime I from now on if I ever post a picture with a friend I'm
in a room immediately post another picture of me writing somewhere and then
just have a lot of fun
I don't even know this guy was good at madden and we had a lot of fun hanging out. Oh my god, but
Dude, I want to do that so bad now
But I've got to hurt a lot of people but I want to get picture
I want to get I want to take a picture with Lewis tonight and then next week just be me jotting down
I
100% big wow, I know that I 100% disagree with Lewis's ideas of sovereignty and what a nation is
And I'm gonna tell you right now. I know that Lewis doesn't like deaf babies, but I do I do I deserve a world and I think listen
Lewis is a dumb bitch right now and yeah, i think eventually he's gonna not be such a
dumb bitch and maybe be
i don't know as smart as a portory can can get
and then he'll see that everyone should be safe and have rights
yeah you just got to write but luis and i also
one hundred percent disagree
about disabled people's rights
and representation i support disabled people's rights
anyone who you're the office is i
he goes now i say if you're disabled get the fuck out of the workplace because you're
slowing everybody down sorry i'm sorry my apologies because lilas seems to think that these
fucking goofballs should be working right next to you i apologize i apologize to the wrong side
of history i'm on i'm on under the idea that a broken flashlight doesn't get fixed, so toss that.
But Lewis over here is a broken clock, right, twice a day. Well good. Go let him stare at clocks.
So get him out of the workforce, I say.
We're not going to let you up in the boardroom if you can't get up the stairs.
But that's just me and Lewis
disagrees with me 100% disagree with Lewis's idea there should be accessibility ramps everywhere.
I say what is this role? I'm up the stairs like a fucking marine.
Yeah sorry this isn't an airborne race you're not a kid moving to Cincinnati from California.
That's a deep cut. That's a deep cut. Airborne race you're not a kid moving a Cincinnati from California
It's a good one though Seth Green cut dude fucking you guys were high school mates at that point buddy
Yeah, and then I buy by some of the keep bringing up Seth Green you see some guy some actor who killed himself right before he died He put up a message from a thing and he's like Seth Green you're a bad a file. Sorry, but everyone knows that you know it
He's like Seth Green you're a bad a file. Sorry, but everyone knows that you know it I think he'll himself oh find out what that is that video
I just have someone someone sent me this yeah, they sent to me
It's like it's some actor who killed himself before he died. He hit him with the Chris Farley what?
Maybe Brett ratner to I always hate seeing the wrong name school Christopher Cross move I did Christopher Cross
Rape didn't kill children all across this country
What no none of that at all completely wrong. Okay never mind. Sorry Christopher cross is alive and not a not a child murder
And one and one of my favorite live music videos to watch is him and a Earl Campbell
Oilers Jersey just knocking the dick off of ride like the wind live. Oh, yeah
When you Jersey just knocking the dick off of ride like the wind live. Oh, yeah And he's just the Seth Green guy
He's so high and he's just like said it's okay. He's at a party's like day drinking
He's like Seth Green your you're pedophile, bro.
They win it, it is what it is.
Sorry, bro.
I have more like conversations there.
I think he kills himself because it's,
it loots to that he's killing himself
because he's a pedophile.
Like they've all done fucked up shit together.
Everyone parties.
Look, guys, I'm just gonna lay it out.
Spade, spade.
Charlie she's a murderer. He killed people. Anyway, I'm just gonna lay it out. Spade, spade. Charlie she's a murderer.
He killed people.
Anyway, I gotta go.
Guys, I'm gonna tell you right now,
David spades the shape shifter.
I'm outta here.
Ha ha ha.
Yeah, Isaac Kappy, that was his guy's name.
He was in Thor.
Thor.
Who made headlines for choking Paris Jackson?
Yeah, I was just,
by throwing himself off an Arizona bridge
after leaving a two-page note saying he had been a bad guy.
Damn, dude.
You put down a fucking two-page note,
and then you're like, dude, time to jump off a bridge.
Yeah.
I play this video.
Oh, yeah.
So I'm here.
Hello, it's... So I'm here. Go through.
Seth Green.
Sorry, my man.
So sorry.
I never wanted to do this.
But you're a butterfly.
James Gunn.
Hands out of the streets, bro.
You're kidding me?
Like, what part of you thought, like, to not...
To lead.
What part of you thought it was late?
uh whatever
Oh, crazy
It's a dream
If you would have said it with one
That would have been big news if you would have
said it with a little bit clear of mine
and not with fucking
K7 performing behind them
Dude, I'm sexy I know it mine and not with fucking K7 performing behind them.
Dude, I'm sexy.
Come baby, come baby, baby.
Dude, you're pedophile.
Maybe I want to give it a love and a yaga,
I can be so.
Yes, we got UB40 for this outside barbecue.
Really good wine.
Boom, boom, boom.
Fee on pretty good guys.
However, that's been pedophile. I mean, I was James Gunn good guys. However, Seth Meantat file.
I mean, I was James Gunn, by the way,
it was the other person you got.
I did it again, the by way,
I said Brett Ratner.
No accusations of Brett Ratner at all.
Guys, big J took down Brett Ratner.
But the accusation is just remembering the video.
And then when we get to court and they go,
are you talking with this video where the guy says,
Seth Green and James Gunn, I go,
that is the one I was thinking of.
Is it not? Okay. All right.
Then you know what? I'm sorry to waste everybody's time here.
Brad, that's everything.
Really good.
Bob.
Bob.
Bob.
Bob.
Bob.
Bob.
Bob. Should we check out some Andy Cohen drunk on NYE? Bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang bbang
I can't we check out some uh Andy Cohen drunk on NY a hammered just hammered on CNN. Did you see it?
Watch the clip that loose it that was on the Lewis that one and I watched him shit all over fake. It's gotta be a compliment
compilation by now also now they just look like, and this is what networks do.
Like he probably got drunk a couple of years ago.
And they were like, that was so fun.
People love seeing Andy just like relax.
And finally they're like, get nuts Andy.
And now he's just fucking wasted in feeling entitled.
So he's like, oh, and another thing.
I'm gonna tell you right now, Wolf Bl loves cock torture like lives for it you know hard is to cook off of your
gloved purple finger it's fucking impossible fucking hard it's freezing out
here if I fall asleep on top of that Marriott again I'm gonna fucking be pissed. Man, Andy Cohen, boy oh boy, go play it. Is there office mate? I know.
Is there no audio on this? No audio. That's pretty cool. Real nice live radio.
Silence time. I thought I had three minutes to whack off Pull it out and everything Dan. I was gonna show you
I I appreciate it. Appreciate you showing me the bottom part of your helmet. I don't mind seeing the chin strap
What's going on Christina pissed at us? I don't know why it's not playing it
Is your computer volume up? Yeah, all my volumes are up. It's just not playing
volume up. Yeah, all my volumes are up. It's just not playing.
Is it because of pop approach?
Do we make you mad? Broken.
If your computer got in the sad from pop approach music, all alone does my daddy even care?
Doesn't even care. I know.
Before a million people lose their mind today. There's no way today. We have a chance at covering
uh Corey Feldman on Steve Vos Wadride. We are gonna talk about. Don't you worry? Oh
No, we can get to it today. It's
There's a lot of going to be all of Thursday's episode. I'll be very possible or a large chunk of it
Yeah, it goes pretty wack because Jay Blackloo and DJ Lew all listen to the whole
thing and then Jacob Christine and I will be surprised by all the information. We will
who and all and all the stuff we learn. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Christine heard a little bit of it in the
background, but I mean he's oh boy, he goes full, full fell dog. I don't know
if I have Steve O's correct number anymore, but try to text him like, yikes dude, huh?
That guy and he didn't write back. Man, I'm excited. But then he also didn't write back
to the last thing I wrote a while back, so I may have a wrong number now.
Was there a turn? Was there like an immediate turn in the podcast? Just as the little little fucking taste. There. Yes. I don't know exactly what it was. Do you? It loom? Black loom, DJ loom,
do you guys remember the turn? Do you hear the whole thing though? Yeah. The turn was when
he started talking about conspiracies. Like who's out to who's out to get him after he got
pulled, he got hurt by the wolf pack pack and then it's somehow morphed into
The angels are spies
Yeah, yeah
For God and angels are spot and by the way, he's definitely one of them he's talking about is
Jez Bell sweet for sure, okay. Well one we will absolutely
Sure. Well, we will absolutely get in.
I'm favorite angel.
Does Bell Sweet, will you get to meet her?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's my favorite angel too.
Well, you gotta have a favorite angel.
She's mine.
Yeah, she's mine too, dude.
Just Bell Sweet, favorite angel.
Very cool.
Very, very cool.
Came on the show.
Good chick.
For a spy, for an international spy. She
she instruct me is having a high level espionage talent, but
okay, you know what? I don't know. They make you think
they're just a base player dressed in lingerie, but actually
what she's the player widow. Yeah, they're out of Virginia
coming off the farm, dude. They're CIA's
I hope she's a spy
By the way, it's funny he goes you have all that stuff a little when he says
He goes then this girl came in and she wanted to make pornography in my house and I'm like what?
Yes, right, right one of these spy angels thought it was cool to be a cam girl in one of his rooms in his house. And he was not having it.
A spy angel is like, I do porn here also.
I'm a spy and I do some like cam work.
And yeah, I'm all over the place.
Also, I could fucking whale.
Oh my god, I think I just realized that's a loop of her playing with her clip on that camera.
She's in the rafters right now
Say so anyway Cory don't bother me. I'll just be flicking bean on my cam for a while
Waiting at funds in order to get over the border they go we have this guy convinced respires
Honestly, we don't want to stop cuz this guy really fucking believes it. Yeah, it goes
We just kind of hang out here
and watch TV together.
We have like girl's lights.
Whenever we want him to leave us alone,
we're just like, we got spy stuff,
and he's all like, oh, cool, I can't even hear.
Okay, house meeting, girls, who's the spy?
All right, I'm finding a lot of bugs
and also sunglasses and suitcases around here.
I tried to just drop it in there without saying anything
But I think I'm gonna work on a new Corey felvin pressions a little more true to life
He doesn't really talk like Justin the way we make him. It's a little more like this
Yeah, that's actually good dude do that again
Okay
No, and then James would come in to be the frog brothers. It's pretty cool.
You just sound a little more in there.
It's not great.
You sound like Don Feldman, like his older brother.
Cut up and it was like, no, I got this.
I'm a Feldman.
But it's more in that realm.
Yeah.
I'm just touch each other or something.
God, when we just touch each other or something, what guys do?
I'll get it. Oh, yeah, I'm only have like one or two impressions. I got to do something. God when we just touch each other something. This is what guys do. I'll get it. I'm only have like one or two impressions. I gotta do something. Dude, how was the weekend at comedy
connection? Very fun. Crows are great man. Yeah dude. Packed up and packed up happy that it was packed
up because I mean you know it was 80,000 people got an Omicron yesterday or something like a new your how it was yeah, oh lord 80,000 right
Was that what it was
I don't know
Lewis that what's going on look?
He stopped hiding in a closet of a DJ look you stop hiding in a closet full stuff the animals to blend in and
Answer my question.
Jay, even better I can solve this, bust out some Reese's pieces. We'll get them out of that fucking quarter.
Reeses.
We're just lose the Reese's.
Oh, wait, so, but there's an apostrophe. That's what Mitch Hedberg talked about. So that means this really is a guy named Reese's candy.
Reese's. Tell you something, this week I tried a thing you want to talk about it a little week
and try a new snack out there called Reese's snack cakes.
What?
It's two like bars, basically like almost like twigs it looks like, but it's the Reese's
peanut butter on top when you buy it's all chocolate covered
And then the Reese's peanut butter and then a layer of chocolate cake
what
Yeah, who is eating that snack with you? How did you get the audio to work Christine?
It should be working now, okay
How did you get the audio to work Christine?
It should be working now. Okay.
Broken home!
But those guys are happy to hear.
Cheers!
Happy New Year!
Damn he's got drunk voice dude.
2022, don't you feel cleansed?
Anderson, have we never sucked these shutters sticks?
Yes, honestly, I'm a spitball right here.
Were you a part of that playroom or do we had down in the beach?
I would felt you come out of your sweet asshole Anderson. I don't know what I'm saying. Oh my god call me a fountain at Versailles
I would spin it out of my mouth
Like squeezeable mayonnaise all over here chops. Oh my god. I would go get out of me like I was just
I'm leaking you're gonna be leaking for a week. I'm gonna be so up there. Oh my god
Someone's gonna better call Penzoil. I'm gonna leaky bottom
Can I play it?
Tell us something Andy watching
Tell us something Andy watching Mayor Tobasio
I'll talk to one of them. Who is?
I'm gonna rent.
Victory lap dance.
After four years of the first
time in New York,
as the mayor of New York,
the only thing that Democrats and Republicans
can agree on is what a horrible mayor has been
so cyanora soccer wow 2022 it's a new year because guess what I have a
feeling I'm gonna be standing right here next year and you know I'm not gonna be looking at dancing as the city comes aboard you look what Eric
did those so drunk are they they are the exact they are the exact opposite like rainbow of like
gay dudes that's what it goes they have to have different control. He's like Andy
This is what people are always laughing at us and throwing things. I don't care look at my tosy and my tights
I've had enough. I'm sorry, but Ileens bakery
Why are you doing you're not even trying anymore? What the fuck ever?
Oh shut up Anderson. You're not even trying anymore. What the fuck ever? Oh shut up Anderson, you're such a fucking
Queer what a bore
What's up there and suckin fuck no more to blasio
To blasio you
Your dinner parties sucked your eggs were bleh
I had eggs at his house and they were blah.
They were black.
That's me again, how the eggs were, Dan.
How are the eggs?
I'm hammered. I'm gonna pee right here.
It gives me out of my pee right here.
I'm gonna pee right here.
Let me pee right here.
That's such real good drunk
Who gives a fuck oh my god to plus you say you're married more is that hot black you those a cop
I'm here everywhere. You know it should have ends that fucking
Bulldy Kathleen Garcia bust out of that box
I'm hit my shoe. I'm hit my shoe. Kathy was pretty good actually
You know the address are up. Do you know this used to be Bob a gump shrimp? Did you know that?
That's our guy saw a guy OD out on it a few more a few more one about oh my god
This is age. This is me
This is agent me
Play it play he keeps going dude. I thought it was only like a minute clip Andy Cohen fucking went off
He's rolling He's killing
Yes, as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. want said
Marty King
It's not a stand in moments of comfort.
He's still being in the end.
Not really stand in the end.
It's really good.
And he.
Yeah.
Facing challenges.
However, tonight we will swear in the 110th mayor.
I like my mayor's like I like my cock.
Light skin black.
A man whose dedication and vision's
for the city is steadfast and unravering
this guy's going from
you're going from a drug-giverant
into this guy getting sworn in his fair is so
fucking funny
I like my mayor's like I like my dick
white on the inside but smothered in brown.
What? What's going on? Guys we are getting nuts. I'm still pissin. Did you just compare
the mayor to a turd covered weiner? My turd covered weiner! Get out of the way Anderson.
God! You're so semantha. Anderson you're slowing me down me down your serious butt nut. Let's go
God Anderson you're so Charlotte and I'm so Samantha. I bet Andy Cohen thinks what's the point of Anderson Cooper even being gay if you're just gonna be that kind of gay
It's like anyway, I just want to go he goes. I'm gonna go just run through a train of black dicks right now
And he's like no, I'm gonna go just run through a train of black dicks right now and he's like, no, I'm gonna go home and I, I'm gonna read a little book and maybe watch some TV and have a glass of wine.
He goes, what a bore!
It's like being, it's like you're fucking seven foot tall and never like basketball or volleyball.
Get out of the way!
Ugh!
Hi, I'm Anderson Cooper, I'm gonna go home and do not get stuff.
Whatever, bye.
Where do you say Jacob?
How much class do we bring the studio 10?
Here is your tankus.
Yeah, by the way, even DJ Lou drinks on air
there sometimes and never once has he acted like that.
Sure, off air never once.
It's got a lot of similar opinions but oh for sure the
Blasio beat it he also expressed it in the same way yeah the Blasio get the hell out and he's got
his horse voice we got four years we can all agree that bum did nothing you're a son of a bitch
Ouch! Ow!
Dude dude!
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