The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Bisuteki

Episode Date: December 24, 2024

Bobby and his wife love their coffee so much that they bought a new espresso machine and tested it out all night long. Jay painted his nails pink again to the dismay of Bob. He also dislikes a pork product that absolutely everyone loves. Bob has a griddle to cook on and teaches the gang what Bisuteki is all about. Jay makes a song about drones flying over New Jersey. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly We're back Back we're excited to see your face. I'm excited to see all your face I'm excited to see everybody's face, but your face most of all Jay. It's happened by the way, Bobby People are making their own pivots out there. No. Yeah. Oh, no somebody brought a pivot I signed a pivot. You sign a pivot out in st. Louis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh no. Somebody brought a Piven, I signed a Piven, gave me a Piven out in St. Louis. Why don't we make Piven merch?

We should be signing Pivens. And cut him out completely? Yeah, just cut him out. Fucking love that. Can we do that? Can we just change his name just by a little hair? Yeah. Piven, how does he spell it?

The Pivens, the Pivens. You gotta turn your mic on, Lou, if you want to hear it. Did you watch... Did you watch Yellowstone? Yellowstone? Series? Finale? I did not... Here's the thing. I told you, I watch it on Wednesdays.

I watch Landman on Mondays. I watch Lioness on Tuesdays. And then me and Don. Me and Don live reverse lives. We spend our mornings together. Most couples spend their evenings together. We spend our mornings together. Our mornings are our evenings. We have our little breakfast, we sit around,

we watch our shows. So Wednesday, we watch Yellowstone. So, I just got your beautiful video you sent me. I can't wait to watch it over and over again. And just see a side. Yes, Landman was fantastic, but I have not seen it. So I would appreciate it if you don't, because this is now, this is the last episode,

supposedly forever, but I heard they're bringing it back. But they're bringing Yellowstone back? Because they've said already that- Yellowstone. I believe they're bringing it back. Are they bringing Yellowstone back? Because they've said already that... Yellowstone. I believe they're bringing Yellowstone back. I heard that there's a spinoff show with Rip and the girl. It's gonna be a spinoff. I heard it's gonna be Yellowstone with Rip the girl and everybody else.

I'll tell you this, it's an impossibility. And two, it sucked. No. The finale blew. Come on. It blew to who? You? It was fucking, who gives a shit?

There's one line that was actually embarrassing. There's no way they actually had a first date. All of a sudden, it was sitcom acting. It was so bad. Big Ripko, I'll be back. Did you watch it? It was about that bad. Am I wrong about this?

I agree, it was piss. But it was piss in the most like, the acting all of a sudden got like a play or something. It was so bad, these monologues and it was. I'm gonna say this. It was cheese dick, it was stupid and unsatisfying. We're different human beings. We are.

I have a lot of empathy. You don't have empathy. Huh? You... Is that sociopath? I'm just saying that I am a sympathetic crier. Like the last two episodes I cried. What parts?

Oh my God, everything? Just the idea that the show's ending? I mean, no, I mean the part part, I mean, not last episode, the episode before was the, the last episode with the kid and I got, I don't know, family, you know, family. You know, then what are you laughing at? What are you, what the, what the fuck?

This is why I don't open up on this goddamn show. Jacob, this show turned into a fucking gay romance. It really went, broke back mountain by the end. Well, it's got a- Emotionally speaking. I'm okay, and then with Beth and Rip and then the house and the... It is insanely unsatisfying, the ending.

And maybe, maybe they kind of did that on a purpose in some kind of way. It's an unceremonious end of the show. You would be like, this was a kind of a blah, transitional episode in the middle of way. It's an unceremonious end of the show. You would be like, this was a kind of a blah transitional episode in the middle of the season, it seemed like. It was. Well maybe they're transitioning into the next show.

But here's the problem. Here's the problem with the, I haven't gone back to, I won't watch 1828, the Harrison Ford one. They only made one. No, 1923. 1923. Don't ever correct him like that I

mean apparently there was no face against the glass thank you Bobby thank you you get your first pivot of the Xe Christine had to do it BAM sometimes you gotta straighten Christine out on my behalf you're god damn right you're good somebody else straightens Christine out on my behalf that is let me tell you it's almost a guaranteed pivin. It hurts to do, but I love it. You'd love it. It feels good. Yeah, Taylor, well Christine said this too,

now that I know Taylor Sheridan's that guy, now he crowbarred himself a lot towards the end into it. Seems like a bit of a jag. I like the one where he, when he was, last week's episode where she had to go out there and she did, he's like, watch out, week's episode, where she had to go out there and she did, he's like watch out, he's gonna try to fuck you. I know, his character's too.

And then he tried to fuck her. Then he took a- He didn't try to fuck her though. Well he tried to get her to do script poker and then she's like fuck it, I'll do it. And then he's like, he took a video of her, take her to close up, I'm gonna send that to Rip, he'll laugh at that.

I thought that was awesome. I didn't complain about the other episode. I said this finale sucks shit. So you liked the last two or good? The two before. Two before. Absolutely, I wasn't not enjoying the season. I thought the season was actually pretty fun so far.

Did you think it was sad? Did you get emotional at all at the last two episodes at any point? What did you want me to get sad about? I'll tell you. Let me see if I can remember. I get sad a lot during the week, so it's hard to remember what you're from.

I forgot. You have empathy for your career. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I almost... Yeah, yeah, yeah. My life, where my life is at. Yes. I, uh, yeah, I do a lot of crying about that. No, it doesn't hit me on TV too much. I forgot about that. You have, your tears are saved for more important things.

Yes. Lon lonely hotels. Some horse shit, right, yeah, being by yourself. I get you. I thought the, of course when the father died and then with, when they had to tell, when Beth found out, when they're on the porch, I mean, it was all sad to me. It was all sad and rip.

I mean... Getting fat? I mean, that made me cry just because I know where he's at. You know what I mean? I know what he went through. He got success. What happened was, on the offseason, he's got money now, so he's enjoying these restaurants and all the free meals,

and then he just let himself go. And then he went back in and nobody, all his friends were just looking at him and going, dude, you look great. And nobody said, you got fat. They just went behind his back. And... Fat rip. Fat rip.

Yeah, it's always sad. Like, you guys let me get fat. I didn't let anything happen at all whatsoever. You guys let me get fat. No. Your contemporaries let you get fat. That's true. You're right. They really did.

They really did. Everybody was off ruining their own shit, though. Patrice was eating himself to death. Keith was drinking and eating himself to strokes. My friend Norton was sucking himself to death. Uh, yeah. Norton found himself so overly attracted to women that he had to try men.

Yeah, Voss married a grumpy lesbian. That's right. I mean, we really did just throw it all away. Voss and Bonnie sleep less romantically than Lucy and Desi. They aren't even in the same room. They're in different places in the house. No, Voss sleeps like the kid on Yellowstone

in the barn with the horses. Ha ha ha. Me and Christine have no romance at all, but there's definitely, we're in the same bed. You guys, I mean, I'm in the same bed as Dawn, but I'm kind of getting to the point. I got mad at her last night. Just having a hard time. We got a... We love coffee in our house. We love the morning joe. So I'm like, why are we wasting time

with this shitty regular coffee maker? Let's get... Wait, you mean morning joe... Morning coffee. ...as an actual coffee? Coffee. We love coffee. I got you.

We love a good coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. with this shitty regular coffee maker, let's get... Wait, you mean Morning Joe? Morning coffee. As an actual coffee. Coffee. We love coffee. I gotcha. We love a good cup of coffee. And I was like, let's get a really good espresso maker.

Let's get one that's for Christmas. Let's buy each other. That'll be our present. Some holy shit. Let's get a Breville. A Breville's like top of the the line Makes the best cup of coffee Espresso's late cheese you can program it. I have about the beans more than the machine No, it's about the machine and the beans, but the machine is the one you want to get is that it? No, that's not the one Christine. Do you have any interest in this in your life? I

No, that's not the one. Christine, do you have any interest in this in your life? I'm gonna tell you something. I got it, I got it. Christine loves coffee, but she loves coffee like it's Coke. It makes, it makes, it makes, it's so good when you make this cup of coffee on this machine that me and her made 10 cups of coffee

last night to get it to exactly the way we like it. We just kept throwing them out. And then we found the, you can really tune it in to what you like. And then we found the cup, it's almost like chocolate, the way it comes out. And we made coffee last night and we both were like satisfied almost sexually.

And we made this coffee, but now I'm, I was up until five in the morning. Too good of coffee. It was so good, but I'm up and I finally went to sleep. I had to listen like Joe Rogan's podcast to fall asleep about something about space. Well, who's talking to Dave? I wasn't at that point.

I was gonna go to a Dave episode after that. Oh no, going deep politics. Yeah, after that I was gonna go to a Dave episode after that. Oh, no. You're going deep politics. Yeah, after that I was gonna go to a Joe Coy podcast. Maybe a Theo Vond. It wasn't Defcon 5, but I finally fell asleep. And then she came up from Max's room. She fell asleep with him last night. Came up and woke me up up and I got violently angry.

Because I just went to sleep and she came in and flipped the covers over and the dog jumped in my face and I went, you woke me up. She was like, so? And I was like, I just spent like three hours trying to get to bed and you just woke me up. Just stay where you are, stay put. I know it's upsetting and it's probably difficult for you

because you just bought this house, you put a lot of. Stay put. I know it's upsetting and it's probably difficult for you because you just bought this house. You put a lot of money into it. You got it exactly how you wanted it. You probably don't want a bunch of cheek and nose grease on the windows. But it sounds like you haven't put her face on the glass yet.

Well, I just want to let you know, I did just buy a new back door with... because the other glass had the little panes. I was like, this is not going to be good. I need... I need a straight glass tempered door with, because the other glass had the little panes. I was like, this is not going to be good. I need a straight glass tempered so I can mush it and then slide it. I can push it and then slide it. But you'll never see that on the glass because it's got that texture to it.

But I keep face rags by the door now. There's like a little hook I have. Now I like to add that to Corey Holcomb. Always got to give the OG the credit for the original idea. Put their face in the glass. But also, when you remove their face from the glass, while your hand is still on the back of their neck, they are required to then use glass cleaner to clean the glass. Yeah.

Absolutely. And we don't, you don't let go until they're done? No. I actually was trying to invent an ear towel. So as you mush, it wipes. Oh. Like a swiffer. Like a face swiffer.

So you're putting their face in the glass while they're cleaning it. You know what? I think you gotta give them one directly on the glass first, a smudge, then pull their face away. The whole time she was holding some sort of a glass cleaner, like a smudge, then pull their face away. She, the whole time she was holding some sort of a glass cleaner, like a Windex, right? And then when you pull the face away, she squirts,

you put the paper towel, and then mush her face again, and then she also becomes the cleaning rag. Yeah, like a face against the glass, and then a face cleaning the glass. And then a face cleaning the glass. It sends the message twice, and it's a easy peasy, no muss, no fuss. Yeah, Japanese.

You don't have an imprint, you didn't do your job. Yeah. It's probably so satisfying seeing the imprint when you take the head away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I try to let her get a few breaths out so you see the outline of her lips on the glass. That's good, yeah, that's a good move.

You let the breaths come out and kind of fog the glass up a little bit so you really see the outline. I like to get a little tear going across, so it almost looks like a piece of art. Oh, that is nice. Mush art. Like it's raining.

Yeah, like a little tear up at the top, so then you get the fog and then you get the tear and then you mush. It's like the Michael Jackson logo, remember? It was like him doing the two tippy toes, but it's like the lines sliding across. I like that. Yeah, you're right. I like that.

Yeah, you're right. I do need to. Christine, why are you not looking up the Michael Jackson Moonwalker logo? Are you just dwelling on the idea that you're probably going to be used to clean glass from now on? Although I'll tell you what, if you come in my house and our windows are filthy, you know

Christine's been doing the right thing. She'd be doing a good job. She'd be doing a good job. She'd be doing a good job. Sorry guys, there it is, see right? There's the slide. That's the slide. Yeah, so when I mush your face Christine, I'm gonna go moonwalker, shamo!

And then I'm gonna slide you across the moonwalker logo. Maybe we make a hat, like a hat they can put on. Mush, slide, look, put the hat on, smush again, it cleans it. Almost like a, what are those things called? A little squeegee. Okay, I get what you're saying because you're right, the paper towel might not drag with the face. It might not drag, it might leave a little mark. And then you rub her face off of the, it then just creates more mess, you're right.

Yeah, we gotta get on this. Okay, hang on. The hat, I wasn't loving the hat idea, but maybe a medium, like a build off of the hat idea. Like a headband almost? How about a hood? Like a hood, like a, you know how they have just the hoodie? Yeah, of course.

Put the hoodie on, and on the side, one side, the mush side, I do the right side mush. I really keep the left side so if people come over I just have her stand on the left in case this side's a little mushy. Yeah, Christine, which side's your good side? I don't know. You don't know, I thought every girl thinks

they have a good side. I don't know which mine is. I can tell ya. I see pictures of myself, here, good side. I don't know which mine is I Can tell you myself here? I can tell you Nope Yep, yeah left left side is a good side musher on the right so mush on the right Mush on the right, but then you have fingerprints all over the left. Hmm. That's better than that's okay Yeah, okay. Let's go. We get a hood, put like a, on the front part, we put a little wet, little squeegee thing in the middle,

cloth at the back, the squeegee again. I'm sorry to deviate, but I have to say, Christine, you say I have no empathy, but I just felt every bit of Christine when you said, let's see which side you're good side, and the first one she turned to, you you said, let's see which side's your good side, and the first one she turned to, you already said no. It's weird to say which one's bad until you see them both,

so you just went, yuck. That way's, yes, better. Can I tell you why? She had no confidence on the first side. She went like this, and she kinda like, she kinda looked. And the hair was kinda still. And then when she went to the other side,

she really smiled, she lit up. She, I think she was choosing that. And the hair was kind of still. And then when she went to the other side, she really smiled, she lit up. She, I think she was choosing that. Her confidence really, you know, she went like this and then smiled. Someone goes, how does my face look better, like this? You go, no, not like that. Why didn't you do the other one yet? That was hilarious.

I felt that every bit of that. Is this my good side? No. Is this? Uh, yeah. I guess that's gonna be. The other side, your good side? No. Is this? Uh, yeah. I guess that's gonna be. The other side's your good side. The left side, let me see, that side's your good side.

Yeah, I know, I see myself on Zoom, that's always like the, I look better if I'm like tilted. This is my good side on that side right there. Over here. Turn the other way? Yeah, this one. That's your good side. No, this is not my good side. It is your good side. This?

Not over here, it's the lighting too, has a lot to do with it. Hang on, hang on. No. Watch this, watch this. Now watch this side. Blech. Blech. Blech.

Blech. Yeah, so we got the coffee maker, she woke me up, this coffee maker, so you gotta get one when you get the house. Why are you drinking full blown coffee at night? Cause we just got it yesterday. You know, you justown coffee at night? Because we just got it yesterday. You had yourself decaf espresso. We just got it yesterday.

Okay. So we went wild yesterday. I mean, that's pretty crazy. Oh, we were just sipping a little, and nope, that's not it. Why don't you go on the roof with one of your rifles and wait for the drones? Dude, the drone?

Did you hear what happened with the drone thing? Oof. Did you hear what happened? Did I hear what happened? I wrote a song about it. Oh, what's it called? Drones Over Jersey. Drones Over Jersey.

Drones Over Jersey. Why is that not a hit right now? It is, well, because it's for somewhere, it's for somewhere from America. We have to fucking put you dancing to that. You got the full ones, Lou? We need. ["Drones Over Jersey"]

Drones over Jersey. We need people. Do you have all my lyrics? The one that's all my lyrics? Don't pull you thang out unless you pull thang out drones over Jersey Don't pull your thang out unless you pull thang out drones over Jersey Here's the video. We have to get people go. Oh my god Look look up in the sky and then they do and then this cuts in where people just dance in hammer style

If you're singing and then it cuts to another one. Drone's over Jersey. Don't pull your thang out unless you pull your thang out. Well they're saying, yeah. It's so catchy. Dark what they're saying. They're saying that, Lou actually sent a video too, is that this drone expert thinks that. They're looking for nukes.

They're looking for nukes. They're looking for nukes. That's the... They're doing it at night. I did see that. And they're not telling anybody, and they have the thermo vision that they can only use at night, and they're looking for a nuke. I know, and I saw that on a very reputable news source,

World Star Hip Hop today. And they did. Very reputable. Very, very reputable. When do they lie? Never. Never? Never to me. Hip Hop today. And they did very, very reputable. When do they lie? Never. Never. Never to me. Never to anybody.

Never to this guy once. I mean, they're showing the facts before anybody that shows the facts. They are willing to say it while we're all thinking it. Yeah. And that's what's beautiful about World Star Hip Hop. Shout out, World Star. Yeah, they said they're looking for nuclear things,

but they can't be traced. They don't give off heat signals, right? So they can't be traced. They don't give off heat signals, right? So they can't go get them. Other drones have gone up, but it doesn't show up on other drone's footage, because there's no heat coming off of them somehow. I don't know. There's also another theory that I saw,

and I didn't do the research on when this came out, but it was a guy who was saying, you know, one of those things where the next thing they're gonna do is tell people that there's an alien invasion, which will get people to the world to unite together and start World War III or some shit. And it's all crazy shit.

And this was supposed to be done years ago before any of this stuff happened. I mean, it seems like this isn't a big deal because none of our major politicians are making a big deal about it at all. Trump actually spoke about it. What'd he say? He said that they know what it is.

They won't tell you, they should tell you. It's a government thing. They know what it is, but they won't tell you what's happening, and they should. And, you know, he said that they know what it is, they're not telling you, they should tell you. And he can't tell you because he's not the president yet. He could tell us.

I don't think he can. I think if he does, he would get in trouble. I think it's, you know, some type of, uh... Look, there's... All of a sudden, Trump plays by the rules. Well, well, well, how fast we all fall in line. Well, look, it's something. Well, if you were curious what I was doing,

trying to handle the situation, as I was on my roof late last night with a Casio keyboard, trying to speak to the drones. Really? Yeah, I recorded a little bit of it. Hang on a minute. I scored it, it by the way sounds like a flute no I also scored it I put a little music behind this is just me getting ready to talk to them uh-huh hang on I think they're talking to me what were you wearing huh? Oh you wearing?

I'll be hang on speaking to them. This is them talking back. Oh, that's them What are they saying Hang on let me write this is a bit of beep something to them. Beep boop, beep boop, bing bong boop. Beep. Boop, beep, boop, boop. Beep. Boop. Eh. They're reacting to Jacob's voice. Boop, beep, boop, boop.

I mean, they would attack if they heard that voice. Boop, beep, boop, boop. It's going to be such a nothing burger when they find this story out. Sorry, I'm doing a radio for young girls now. It's gonna be a total nothing burger. It's gonna be, it's gonna be, trying to get it.

Trying to get some more girls involved into my comedy. Trying to get that Jim and Sam audience to fly over in the afternoon. Total nothing burger. Listen, it's something. It's crazy. All right, here's the thing. If they were calling them ships, I'd be more scared.

If I keep calling them drones, I'm like, someone's launching them. For the government not to have said anything for weeks now, that's bizarre. And it's, you can't, this guy who was saying it might be a nukes, they're looking for something. You cannot fly a drone over, I think, a pound or something like that, or a little over a pound, without FAA clearance.

Sure. You can't. So for people to fly huge drones without clearance, without the government knowing or FAA knowing, is against the law. It's crazy. If one of those batteries dies, it will kill somebody.

So it's definitely the government doing it, but why won't they tell us what the fuck it is? It's creepy to me. Why won't they tell us? Because they're voyeur cams. That's it. They're just out there trying to catch people whacking it for the internet.

You want it to be something so big, so bad? It is something big. You want a reason for those guns in that tiny house, so bad? I already took one. My plan is already in effect. You want to hear the plan? Well, I thought I was involved in it. You told me to come to you.

Are we not involved anymore? Well, you're involved if you want to. But I'm not. Oh, no. Did, I kicked off the arc for Nikki Norton You're not you would If Nikki was like, let me come with you daddy Bobby I always wanted to try you too. I don't know why I've made her Puerto Rican. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah. Yeah Bobby's The plan is done you get in the car, you grab the gun, you grab the silver, and you go.

Just go, don't wait for me. Just get out of here. Just go. Vermont, straight up through Vermont. Don't go through. And put Max, attach him on the top of a giant antenna hanging off the car while he's holding the guitar flamethrower.

Man, Max, bling! I'd love to see Max. I'm gonna find an antenna hanging off the car while he's holding the guitar flamethrower. Mad Max, bling! I'd love to see Max. I told him to get my Dom DeLuis dollar, too. I want that. What? I have a Dom DeLuis signed dollar bill. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I want that. Also that? Yeah, and that. Okay, good, and a fishing rod. Yeah, and one of them. And that's pretty much it. And my, yeah, and my fishing rod. And a tour guys and poster.

I told Christine, too, I go, get the dog, get out of there, grab my lumbar pillow, grab my cups. Grab my ointments and my salves. Grab my pepsi AC, I need a little pepsi AC because I get gird when I get nervous. Christine says she hasn't seen one drone and we live in a high up building. Yeah, but you guys don't look out the window.

She does look out the window all the time longing for a better life. Yeah, because you have her face't look out the window. She does look out the window all the time, longing for a better life. Yeah, because you have her face mushed against the window. Yeah, she has no choice. Might as well look out there and wish for a better life while I'm pushing it. And while you're over here, clean us with your cheeks. Well, they're not over Manhattan.

I thought they were over Manhattan now. No. They were over in Upper Jersey, Westchester, I believe Long Island. Drones over Jersey. I mean, a lot of these reels and stuff can be fake, but this was the thing about, you sent this about the UFO in New York City.

Oh. Yeah. That was crazy. Boop, boop. But I don't think that's real. What? Here's a- You don't think this is real? I don't know. I think that might be a plane. Really? You don't think everybody went to work today

and just had a normal day after the spaceship shot a beam down over a building? It's a UFO. Oh shit, in New York City look at the beam. Look at the beam, look at the beam. We were watching a documentary about a UFO. I know, look, UFO spotted in New York and then there's two emojis after it,

which is the funniest thing Like that's how seriously you would handle that Yo, it's a UFO mind blown I mean spaceship alien mind blown mind blown mind blown There's there's actually a video I sent to with some weird shit happening in clouds like explosions Have you seen did you see that one lightning? It looked like explosions like little mini explosions. Have you seen, did you see that one? Lightning? It looked like explosions, like little mini explosions. It was lightning. No, it wasn't lightning.

It was like little, it almost looked like fireworks inside of a cloud. Okay. Which is crazy. But look, I don't look it. I don't know with AI and all the shit that people can do, the average asshole can do right now. Everything you take in with your eyes,

you take in complete full value. I'm gonna break your heart right now. What? There's no Jurassic Park. What? You don't think they can make a dinosaur right now? I don't think there is a made dinosaur, much more a park, a full park of them.

Buddy, they're making a dinosaur as we speak. Yeah, absolutely. Jacob, tell them. I think so. I think they have the technology. Not that confident, dude. Be confident. No, I mean they use whatever they don't have,

like they fill it in with frog DNA. Yeah, there's a- Right. To fill in the missing gaps. The dino DNA is filled in with frog DNA. Okay. Show them the animation. There's an animation with frog DNA. Okay. Show me animation. There's an animation that explains everything.

There's a simple animation. A simple animation that explains it all. Guys, there's a cartoon that explains the reality of this. Listen, bro. You didn't notice? You went back to Barbie doll pink. It's light pink. It's light pink and it's the, dude, what's going on, bro? What is going on?

Buddy, listen, I know the weekends are lonely and I know you're on the road a lot and I know you're alone on the road and I know it gets tough and I understand all that. I understand, but you call me, you call me and you talk to me, man to man, and we can work this shit out. You don't need to go and become a woman.

I don't have anything in my life. Buddy, get a coffee maker. Learn how to make fine espresso drinks. No, I'm trying to get into guys. Make a bubble-ache. Stop, you're doing a good job. I'm so bored at home, I want to get into guys I think. God damn it bro, you gotta stop with the fingernails.

Look it, man, it's hard when I, you know, I'm a member of that cigar lounge and it's all dude dudes. And they're like, what are you doing? I'm like, I do the bonfire, what's the bonfire? Dude, it's a show, he's one of the funniest guys ever. Where can I watch it? I'm like, just listen.

I don't want them watching you. I don't want, I don't know. Let me come. No. I can solve this problem. You cannot come with fingernail polish. Bring me to the cigar lounge. I can't. I'll go around and I'm gonna go around

and I'm gonna be, do you remember the, remember the dry hands fairy? I'm gonna be the lighter fairy and I'm gonna just dance around the room and just light people's cigars for them and I'll prance around. I can't. I wanna be there for that. I can't, I can't. Why can't you just bring your friend, Jay to prance around and's cigars for them and I'll prance around. I can't. I wanna be there for that.

I can't, I can't. Why can't you just bring your friend Jay to prance around and light cigars? I need, listen. I would love for you to come up and hang out one night. They would love you. No, prance around. I don't want you to, there's no prancing

at the cigar lounge. Not yet. No, there's none. No, there hasn't been. I don't want you to turn into a fairy fest either. You know what would really zhuzh that place up? What? Some fucking dance.

Some fairy spins. Why are you going pink, brother? What's happening? There is a method to this madness. What? I usually do white. Yeah. But I have to put the red back in my hair this week.

And when I wash that out, it makes the white turn pink. So I might as well just get them done pink. They were getting too long. No, no. How about you don't get them done? No, stop. Don't get them done. Don't get your fingernails done.

How am I gonna catch a man? You get your fingernails done more than my wife. I have to be done up every two weeks. That's crazy. Oh, and she needs to step her shit up. Yo, Dawn, get your nail game right. Buddy. I mean, there's other things you can do.

What? I don't know. No point in shaving my dick hair. It doesn't look good if you do that. What else could you do to print? Are you getting your beard done? Isaiah was sick today. Oh, it was supposed to be today?

Yeah. I'd use hair. I do eyebrows, hair, nails same day. They're right across the street from each other. You do the nails first and then go get your eyebrows and hair done? No, Bobby. I go get my hair done first, if possible. Yeah. Then I will go over to the nail place,

and I walk in, and they go, uh, they go, gel manicure eyebrow? And I go, yep. And then they go, oh, go gel manicure eyebrow and I go yep and then they go oh take off a first and then they dead on impression by the way and then I sit down and they take a couple wax at the gel yeah and then they put some kind of stuff on a cotton ball and wrap all my fingers in tin foil then I have to put my big hand into a glove

with the tin foil covers and they do it on both hands. Then they bring me back to the eyebrow room. Then I lay there while the lady does my eyebrows. What do you mean she does your eyebrows, with what? Wax. She waxes your eyebrows? Yes. What is the foil on your fingers for?

It's to keep the gay in. It's to hold the gay in. Heat escapes from your head and gay escapes from your fingertips. A lot of people don't know that. Well, we do now. A lot of people think all the gay and he goes out with the heat.

Not true. Fun fact, not true at all. It's some, whatever is the remover. You just soak your nails in acetone to get the gel off. Yeah. Oh, removal. So, yeah, but they have to like, they soften it I guess first with that shit.

Then they do my eyebrows, and I am such a brave boy for that. I don't even sneeze anymore. I, uh. What? That's a big deal. What, not sneezing when you get your eyebrows done? Oh, you sneeze when you thread though.

What is threading? What do you mean you thread? Oh, that was when an Indian lady used to take Take string and they rip your eyebrow hairs out with string. It hurts so much They used to do this Yeah, why? Because they said it was better for you than waxing, but I think it's all bullshit. What is this the same? This is threading? Yeah Yeah, wow, what does they go

right what is that it rips what they rip it up by the roof yes oh my god that is so oh my god why would you do that because I have big fuzzy eyebrows so I don't have big fuzzy eyebrows like a lunatic. What would your eyebrows look like if you didn't get them waxed for like six months? Like Kurt Matzger? They'd probably, no, Kurt shaves his eyebrows. Would you look like the guy who shot the CEO

of the insurance company? No, I wish. No, I would, they would be. He shaves his eyebrows? Kurt, yeah. be he shaves his eyebrows Kurt. Yeah Like he shaves like above them. He keeps them like at a certain size I Get him done they would be Thicker for sure and I think probably still you think I've been getting it done enough that it wouldn't be super thick in the middle Or would it be much thicker? It's probably thinned out. Why don't you go get him lasered?

Go get your eyebrows in the middle laser. I it be much thicker if it? It's probably thinned out. Why don't you go get them lasered? Go get your eyebrows in the middle lasered. I got other things that I want to laser first. I want to do my ears, like you said. Ears are the best thing I ever did. They can't do nostrils, right? Yeah, they can. Laser? Sure.

Really? Yeah. No. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Is it? Why you saying it's so not confident? They can do it.

Yeah, why not? Why would they not be able to do your nose? Maybe you shouldn't get lasers up your nose. I think you need nose hair for something. You need some. Yeah, the high up stuff. It's for something. It did feel weird when I got them waxed that one time.

That hurt so much. And it was also the girl who was, right before she yanked it out of my nose, found out her dog was suspiciously murdered, I think. You can get it for your nose. Yeah, but it can hurt your mucous membranes, so you probably shouldn't do it.

Oh, my mucous membranes. Just get the edges. Get the edge. Uh, the nostril hairs, I could just do it with a little machine's fine. Yeah. Your hairs I'd like to get rid of, though. The hair thing was...

I never forget my nose hairs long enough for it to be an issue I don't think, whether you see nose hairs coming out, do I? And then... I just use a lighter. You light the lighter, breathe in and it kills them all. And then, but the ears, sometimes there's one like, you do all the inside of the ear

and then you find you have like a loose hair on the outside of your ear, so now I'm doing the outside of my ears too and I hate it. Yeah. Age, man. Well the ear thing was getting bad for me. When I was trimming them with the trimmer you heard vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm a little sack. Yeah, something you're mowing along. Yeah. What, how long have you had treatments in? Six. Six treatments?

Six treatments. Hurt? First two, yeah, because I never had anything lasered, so I didn't know what it was, so I was definitely a pussy, but she gives you like a tennis ball to squeeze. Really? Yeah, I had a tennis ball. And then I brought Max in for like the third one,

he was just laughing at me. You squeezed him? I just wanted to look like a pussy in front of him. So I thought you squeeze them I put them between my legs and I just squeeze them Squeeze your max if it hurts. Yeah, it's not it's good But after the third one it was pretty much done and then I was just going back in and getting rogue ones And she trims them, you know, she'll trim it. She you need and they can't do white ones So you got to do it now before they go white. They have to be black

And she can't do white ones, so you gotta do it now before they go white, they have to be black. Or you can't laser them? No, you need black hairs, you can only laser a black hair. Yeah, so you gotta go now before they turn gray. Where do I go, will Dr. G do it? No, he might have a laser in his apartment in the closet. Yeah, the guy just has lasers. Yeah, he does have lasers.

I might as well go over there when I get my cancer treatment out of his freezer. Dr. Yeah, the guy just has lasers. Yeah, he does have lasers. I might as well go over there when I get my cancer treatment out of his freezer. Dr. G, Bill G. Yeah, oh, I think my new eyes came in. I think Dr. G's got them behind his egos. Why can't you just get, why do you have to go, why do you have to go Fanoog Pink?

I told you why. Yeah, but why can't you just go like a gray? Oh, the darker the color doesn't look good on my fingers. My fingers look fat then. But these make them look dainty. You think pink made your fingers look? It does look. When you kiss this, if I presented that to you.

It just looks like a fat chick's finger. You don't mean that. I don't. You look gorgeous, I'm sorry. I just felt the pain. I guess if these hands belonged to a chick, that would be a pretty thick bitch. I don't know, dude.

I'm just worried that you're searching for something. Sure, aren't we all searching for something, man? Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, I got an espresso maker that's I don't need. And I'm fucking zooted. I'm looking for sexual companionship and my fingers tell you from anybody Bring it on boys. Let's try I can't I can't I'm kidding. Please don't hit on me on the road Hey, you know what do I'll take the compliment. But I'm gonna shoot you down.

I might jack you off a little bit and then just go, this isn't for me. No, dude, I don't know, this is weird. I don't like it, I don't think. All right, give me a couple more seconds. I went to, this weekend, I had a bad Fatso incident. This weekend. Saturday night, I took, we took Max to Fogo do Chão.

Love Fogo, they have one in White Plains, one of the best Fogo do Chão's. There's Plataforma on 49th Street, which is my favorite, but the Brazilian Steakhouse, for people who don't know, you have a little card, it's green and red. They have an amazing buffet, salad buffet with all kinds of extra stuff, you know, charcuterie and soups. A very real Brazilian steakhouse place gives you

like a post that's green and red. The franchise place is, hey, you have a little piece of paper. Not real, I mean the platformer is from Brazil and they give you a piece of paper. They give you a piece of paper too, I know. Yeah, they give you, I mean, I went to the one in Brazil, in Brazil. It's just a nice touch though, when you have the actual.

I like the card, because I like to have them looking for it. You know what I mean? I want them staying focused on my table. Fogo the chow, what's the best meat they have there going, Bobby, say it. Lamb. Come on.

Lamb. Stop. Look it, for me, it used to be the one that know they that's on the photo. What's that called? I don't even know what's in the photo But I'll tell you what the best one is at every one of these Brazilian steak houses don't if you say fillet wrap bacon Nope parmesan crusted pork. You're so stupid. It's the best thing they have there always it's not Christine doesn't even like pork. It's not it's their best thing It's not always it's not I'll tell you what the best thing is if you go on a Friday and Saturday

They always have an extra like us a special going around. Yeah, and this week one week I was that they had a suckling pig flying around you Great, doesn't sound it. So good looks terrible this week. They had Doesn't sound it. So good. Looks terrible. This week they had the pork. Calf. No, no.

Baby calf hearts. My brain, I'm on so much coffee my brain's humming right now. I can't think. It was. You sound like fluorescent light bulbs in your head. It's called, what is it, the pork belly. Ooh. Pork belly. So the guy, you always gotta look for the guy with the little plate,

and I called him over and he was like, you want it? I was like, yes. I'll tell you what I will do, what I can do without from these Brazilian steak houses, they're fucking faces when you ask for a lean piece. Yeah, well they... Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm not some fucking savage from some wacky island. Because everybody wants the crust the lean piece on the outside Yeah, and you got to make sure you you know you're not near a big table

Because if they go to that big table they got to go back and heat it back up Hey, and while you heat that back up bunch throw me a few more pieces that parmesan crusted pork thing Oh, I hate it. What is it Christine look at it it. What's the Parmesan crusted pork? It's the ball It's it's a it's a little pork loin parmesan crusted and they have the bacon wrapped fillet Which I hate and then they have the chicken you hate the bacon wrapped fillet. I don't I don't like meat on meat I'm not a meat on meat. Oh, but I mean the bacons. I don't like a meat. I like bacon. I like fillet I don't like meat. I don't like bacon wrapped scallops. Yeah, I don't I like filet. I don't like meat. I don't like bacon wrapped scallops. Yeah, I don't Bacon wrapped water chestnut. I'll kill you for absolutely actually I'll tell you something right now. Oh, this is not gonna be popular This is gonna get people really angry

It's a realization you have to have any realization sometimes in your life, and I'll say this outside of loose on a Plate with breakfast I Don't care for bacon. What? I've never thought a cheeseburger was better with bacon. I've never thought anything I've ever had bacon is a part of.

A BLT, sure, that's fine, I get the BLT. Wouldn't be a Sam, BLT. Right, it's just an LT. Which by the way, I could also do a mayo and LT. I could probably do. You get a good enough tomato? A nice tomato? I could do an LT.

But a BLT is good. BLT with, you ever do a belt? No. Bacon, egg. Dude, belts of the shit. It's a Canadian thing. Dude, a BLT with a fried egg.

Oh, come on. They don't even celebrate our Thanksgiving. That place is stupid. Can't have this dumb as shit. They have a Thanksgiving, it's just not ours. Yeah, it's just the wrong one. It's their independence from a place where they still want to be a part of. We give thanks to not be a part of. We love you, Queen!

I think they did whip our ass once. Oof. Look at that Parmesan crusted pork. I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like a Parmesan crust. Oh, but what I was saying about the bacon thing. Bacon, even on a turkey club, I pull the bacon off and just eat the bacon and then I eat the turkey.

I don't think bacon adds almost anything to anything. That's crazy. I mean, it is crazy, but I'm gonna say I understand it. I like the taste of bacon. I like bacon on a, my favorite thing is bacon and eggs. Bacon on the side, love it. I mean, that's where bacon should be. Yep. Bacon and eggs. Yes. the side, love it. I mean that's where bacon should be. Yep. Bacon and eggs. Yes. Number one slot for bacon. I do like a bacon chicken

salad, little cheese, little mayo, maybe a little lettuce with some bacon in it to give it a little salt. If I'm throwing bacon on, before I throw bacon on any breakfast sandwich, on anyone. I'm going sausage. I'm agreeing with you. Sausage, egg, and cheese? Way before bacon. Way before bacon. Sausage, what kind of sausage though?

You talking the patty? Take a circle patty, I'll take some links. No, you want the fat links? You like the fat links or you like the little thin links? Any ones. The fat links to me are the ones ones. Are the ones for breakfast. I could do, oh, here's another thing. Love sausage, like a sausage sandwich.

Love dinner sausage with Italian food. Mm. Do not care at all for sausage on pizza. You know what? Nope. I'm gonna say something. If it's crumbly, I'll do it more then, but sliced sausage on pizza, do not care for it one bit.

I agree with you. Sliced, it should be pepperoni, but the ones that curl up and then keep the little cup of juice. The regular flat pepperoni, fuck off. I don't know where they, when they went from the pepperoni that heats up and comes a little oil bowl,

and they started to go to flat pepperoni that does nothing, just this limp pepperoni, fuck off. Limp dick pepperoni motherfucker. A pepperoni slice of sausage that's pretending to be pepperoni, I agree, but you crumble sausage onto a pizza with a little onion, I'm in. Sausage and onion pizza, I love, but it has to be crumbled.

Sure, there's time and place. Yeah, because here's the thing. I've also had bacon on pizza be very good when it's crumbled up bacon. But real bacon. Yes. I don't like strips of bacon, and I don't really like bacon on pizza.

I don't like it. I've had it so few times in my life, but there was a place when I was younger where we used to do it once in a while because it was crumbled up and it did, the taste was good. I will take a little bacon on a Caesar. You want to crumble a little bacon on a Caesar,

I will take that. I grew up in a, I grew up, I hate to ever disparage my mom's name in any way because people will judge this, but I grew up in a bacon bits house. Oh God. Yeah. This is why you have problems with bacon, dude.

I don't have problems with bacon at all, but I did grow up in a bacon bits house. And bacon bits. Yes, you did. I, thank you, my mom. I remember liking bacon bits very much and pouring more bacon bits on when there wasn't enough bacon bits

in my very ranchy salad. But I will say, in hindsight, I like, my smell memory makes me think it smelled like dog food. It's dog food. very ranchy salad, but I will say, in hindsight, my smell memory makes me think it smelled like dog food. It's dog food. It's dog food, I think. It's 100% dog food. What are bacon bits?

They're not bacon. Don't say that, you don't know that for sure. It's not. They probably couldn't be, they're shelf stable. They have to add the word. They're vegan. They're not. They're shelf stable.

Buddy, it's not bacon. It can't be, you're right. It's not, it's not bacon. Yeah. You can't put bacon, you have to throw bacon out. You can't be, you're right. It's not, it's not bacon. Yeah. You can't put bacon, you have to throw bacon out. You can't put it on a shelf, that's what I'm saying, I agree. Yeah, it's 100%

Oh, McCormick makes it though, so it's fine. McCormick wouldn't do you wrong. What is it? What's in it? It is. Texturized soy flour. There you go. Canola oil.

Blech. Salt, nice. Caramel color, okay. Yeast extract, nice. Natural and artificial flavor, okay. FD&C Red 40, is that the cancer one I hope? Yep. Dysodium inocinate and guanolate.

Ooh, flavor enhancers. Is it guanabat shit? Christine, not only buy me a can of these, buy stock and Bacon Bits. I tell you what, this show alone is gonna start a resurgence in bacon pieces, don't shake your head, Black Lou. Get behind ideas. No, Black Lou, don't get behind this, Black Lou.

Stop telling me the ways we can't do it and tell me the ways we possibly can do it. Now they have bacon bits with real bacon and it just tastes so much better than the bacon bits that are not real bacon. What just tastes so much better than the bacon bits that are not real bacon. What are we gonna keep in the refrigerator? So it's just bacon? Like a Mama Chooch? Yeah. So it's just bacon? Chopped up. Chopped up bacon? I don't mind a chopped up bacon on a salad? On a with ranch? I don't like chopped, let me

say also I don't like being at the mercy of someone else's decision of how my bacon should be crispier or downright raw. There was a deli that used to be by us in the East Village that we just knew, they made a decent sandwich. Decent, not great, but we steer clear of the bacon on anything because it was borderline raw. It was like chewy, stretchy bacon. It's, our deli by us now doesn't do bacon very good. It's like drippy, I like bacon to be crispy.

Or it could be that oily, greasy, horrible drippy, but it's gotta be cooked. I like it crispy but chewy. I like the fat part to be a little chewy, but the end part, the meat part, to be a little crispy. My favorite way, all judgments here I feel coming. My favorite way to make bacon, microwave. No.

Best way. What? Best way to make bacon is in the microwave. Paper towels on top, paper towels on the bottom. That is such a city thing to say. What is it? That's a city thing. That's a, I live in a hotel room thing.

When you get a house, you gotta make bacon in a pan. Yes, but you know what you get? You know what I did? I got a griddle. I got a griddle at the tiny house. Okay, well, slow down here because the griddle thing, oh, you put it over the burners, right? It's a griddle.

It's, yeah. Like a diner. Mark Reischer puts those things on that something's burning a bunch and he did it on his outside grill too. You can put it on your barbecue. I have, no I have a griddle. I didn't, in the tiny house, I did not get a grill.

I got a griddle. You get an electric stove. I got a griddle. It's a griddle. It's a black stone griddle. It's a it's a griddle. It's a black stone griddle. I probably Would get one for the new house Instead of the grill because the griddle you can cook

You can cook a steaks you can put chicken you can do stir-fries. You can do be shoot techie You can do wait you can do everything or your house outside outside. You have a go. Got you got you inside No, but can't you put you should that have a car. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. Inside. What was that last one? No, but can't you put... Bishuteki. Christy, look if you could put a griddle attachment. What is that? Bishuteki, you don't know what bishuteki is?

You said it like chicken. Bishuteki, everybody knows what bishuteki is. Bishuteki, you dumb shit. Jesus, such a fucking bump. What's he gonna say it eight times? Bishuteki, bishuteki, bishuteki. Jacob, you're in the whole one pivin'. Yeah, how's that?

Bishu pivot, you fucking idiot. I don't know what a bishuteki is. Doesn't everybody know what bishuteki, bishuteki. Jacob, you're in the whole one pivot. Yeah, how's that? Bishuteki, fucking idiot. I don't know what a bishuteki is. Doesn't everybody know what bishuteki is? No. None of us. Sounds like a made-up word. Bishuteki.

Kristi, is there a great old attachment? Yeah. Yes. I think so. You know, the Japanese guys, but they're really Korean, and they chop up the steak on the thing. Is that hibachi? Yeah, hibachi bisuteki.

Everybody says bisuteki, everybody says hibachi. First of all, Christina. Are you trying to say Benny Hannas? How dare you? No. I haven't explained what it is, I still don't know what it is. Bisuteki, dude.

Well, we have a... I can't... We're gonna have to go to commercial break, I'm gonna scream at you if you don't understand. Jay, Jay. Yeah? He just doesn't know. Because he grew up with a horse farm. Jacob, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna lose at you if you don't understand. Yeah, he just doesn't know. Because he grew up with a horse farm.

Jacob, I'm gonna fucking, I'm gonna lose my shit in this room if you don't fucking get your head out of your ass. B, shoe, techie. What the fuck man? B, I, S, H, U. This is getting annoying. T, E, T, E, K, I probably.

I keep getting offered. Gay sex because of your fingernails? I keep wanting to buy Christineays sex because of your fingernails? I wanna buy Christine. Blow jobs by a front man? Walking your dog? No. There you go, right there, Biju Tekki. I was gonna buy Christine.

They have like a, I keep seeing the commercials. Hang on one second, Christine, what does it say? It says Biju Tekki. So there you go. I'm just saying that's not the common term. It's the fuck. And hibachi is very common term. Let me ask you a question. Did you type in B Shutecky and what came up? I mean you see what I typed in. I just want to ask you

a question. Did B Shutecky when you typed in it did it come up? Yes. Is it food or is it a grill? That's I don't even know what huh? It's spelled B Shutecky. Is it Bishuteki? Yeah, it's B-I-S-U-T-E-K-E. Go ahead and get a little... Hit the translation. Translate a little button that tells us how to say that, please. Wait, where is it? It means...

It means... You have to look it up, so pronunciation. Sorry. I thought you saw it on the screen. Bishuteki. There you go. Well, that says bourbon biscuit. Nope. It's not even what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is.

I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is.

I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is.

I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure what that is. I'm not sure a new one now for some reason. Bissou-teki. It's Bissou-teki. Bissou-teki. That's French. It's Bissou-teki. You're a Bissou-teki. You are a Bissou-teki. Know what I think about it? Bissou-teki. Bissou-teki. Bissou-teki.

He's not saying it right? Bissou-teki. Bissou-teki. Bissou-teki. Bissou-teki. I don't wanna be fooled. I have no faith in the advertisements of Facebook and everything and Instagram, but they're telling me,

and I'm about to pull the trigger on getting Christine a 700 piece hex clad set. Are those good? What? I don't like it at all. Why? Every fucking egg, my parents get suckered into it and everything sticks.

I just got a hex clad. And they're not that great. You do have to season it. Well, they're sponsors, you have to say they're fantastic. I think they're fantastic. And the two I got, I finally did get that Tom had and repackaged and put my name on the box. Oh, okay.

But no, I love them, I think they're fantastic. We have one that you got from a gig and I haven't used it yet, but I like all clad Not hex clad. Oh Sorry, sorry. Sorry. It's in a different shape They sell sets all clad. Yeah, yeah, I think I kind of want to pick in peace Well, yeah, but you want to think Christina. I don't want to get you shit. Anyway, then forget it who cares You're gonna be careful on Facebook, dude.

I bought, I told you. I know they keep showing me knives where they're like, they throw a tomato up in the air and like this kitchen knife like slices back and forth eight times and then it falls in like a deck of cards. And I'm like, well, I should get those. Really, only $15? How's that possible?

You gotta get cutco, get cutco. Cutco is the best. Say no more. Fan of the show sent me a Cutco. Buddy, I know him very, very well. The best. I shouldn't say very, very well because I always blank on his name, but we know it.

It's fucking, no, I'm gonna remember it without you. You know him well. It's not. I told you the one that did it. It's the sharpest something, his screen name. Can I suggest something? Eric? Eric, right? name. Eric?

Eric, right? Boom. Eric's given us several cutco knives and I was thinking about just hitting him up and being like, hey, can you put us together like a, what do you call it, like a deck or block? I got one. Put us together a block.

I got one at the San Gennaro's feast. We walked up there, the cutco thing, and she's been trying to get them for years. And she's like, I don't know, because they're a little expensive. More than a rake. I go, you know what I hate when you go in the drawer and there's like three knives like this

and then a knife like that. Everything's different and you go, I hate it. I know, like we're children, like we're asshole children. A chef's knife, a paring knife, and a serrated, that's it. And you need a bread knife too, bread knife. I got the bread knife too, the bread knife. Also a bread knife. And you gotta get the butter knife. We have that. That cuts the cheese, that's it. And you need a bread knife too, bread knife. Sure, yeah. I got the bread knife too, the bread knife's bad. Also a bread knife. And you gotta get the butter knife that.

We have that. Cuts the cheese, that's the best. We have that, and it's got a Legion of Skanks logo on it. It's the best. Can I make a suggestion? Yeah. Jay, when you move, we have knife makers that listen to the show.

I got, in Canada, listen to our show, Black Maple Knives'll make you one. Gorgeous. What kind of knife you made? Chef knife. Any knife you want. I thought you made like a murderous knife. Can you make a knife that teaches you how to cook?

Well, you want a good chef knife. Can you make me a thigh harness knife, please? With maybe a hoof handle? Yes. Thank you. Do they have pink handles? Can you get a pink handle set? Oh, it doesn't matter what color.

It's going to be brown when it comes out of my asshole. Put it in whatever color you want, my friend. Okay, we'll take a break. There's a pink knife. Ooh. Ooh, there you go. That matches your fingernails. Oh, it does.

Oh my god, that'd be so nice. He wants to make a knife for you. Oh, really? Yes. Good, I can butter my fucking vegan muffins with that. You have to get a pink handled knife I'll get a pink handle knife my chef's knife pink Christine. Don't use it I like Christine to show me the suggestion of her said why is the all clad a Thousand dollars less than the fucking hex clad Glad is Light years ahead of a hex clad. Yeah. I don't know what I look at. All clad is light years ahead of hex clad.

Yeah. I don't know what that means. It's going to be getting light years. Oh, a pan can be light years. We have room in a thing. Yeah, hex clad sucks. You said it, Bobby. No, I did not.

I love my hex clad. I think you said it right. You have two. And all they're good for is helping you cheer for nurses when pandemics happen. Used. I used them today. I used them today. I used them today.

To what? Clonked on in the back of the head for messing up something? No, she could be ex. She's going to learn. Hexclad. We'll be right back, everybody. It's the Mon Fire. Yeah, because today it just goes with the fashion.