The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Bum-chucks

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

The guys invent a sexy new martial arts sport that is also porn. Jay has all kinds of thoughts on the new Yacht Rock documentary on Max. This leads him to pull up video of men having sex on a boat and declaring that he has floppy bear body. Jay recalls separate times he was slighted by both Questlove and Machine Gun Kelly. Bob watches a Thundercat video and believes that the actor in it is armless. Despite much evidence of arms, he stands firm. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big J. O'Croson and Robert Kelly I watched yesterday the Yacht Rock documentary Did you watch it Lou? Yes, it was pretty good. What was it on? It's on max music box Yacht Rock documentary and I'll tell you another one who just somewhere Michael McDonald dipped off out for a year and came back almost morbidly obese He's so fat And these are my two revelations from that

Michael McDonald should have held together. He's too fat now to be Michael McDonald and to Christopher cross may be a fucking badass Why is Christopher Cross sailing maybe one of the most badass dudes ever? Why? I think he got his start, like he was a guy in the audience. Am I right about this, Louis? He was like a guy in the audience

and Deep Purple was like Richie Blackmore, their like main guitar guy. Richie Blackmore can't play tonight. Anybody wanna fill in for Richie Blackmore? And Christopher Cross did it. But that must have been a setup, that wasn't real. No, it was like their first show in America and he got sick and they knew him as a studio musician.

He was recommended. Right, right, yeah. Oh yeah, okay. That is not as good as that. That's 100% not as good. I think I was thinking of the movie Rockstar. That's a bit of a... It was in the audience.

But no, there was something else. He was like, oh, and he wrote like, Ride Like the Wind are one of those things. He wrote it like on acid, like driving down sunset or stuff. Everything about him was a badass. Makes sense. What's the lyrics to Ride Like the Wind besides that part? Da da da da, da da da da, da da da da, da da da da,

I don't know any of the lyrics. It's just Ride Like the Wind, right? Yeah. Kenny Loggins is gay as you think, but goddamn, the guy can write a song, couldn't he? He wrote What a Fool Believes. Kenny Loggins wrote that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that either. So many fun facts.

I get to yell at other people now and act like they're assholes for not knowing. Yeah. I honestly didn't know. What, that he's gay? No, he's not gay. Not gay. I'm saying, you know, but Kenny Loggins is, like, pretty gay. He's way road highway to the danger zone. Well, for sure.

Almost the gayest thing ever. He went from long-haired, like, silk shirt tied in the middle singing, and then he immediately went to, like, spiked mullet, sleeves up on the blazer tight pants rock. But don't you like, I'd rather have a guy get old, fat and disgusting than Kenny, what he's doing with his face. Oh my God.

He's still dyeing his beard, which is weird. I feel like there's twist knobs in the back of his head that just pull his face back. But I'll tell you, they show him in this documentary, if you can find it, Christina, live, just type in Kenny Loggins Heart to Heart Live, I'll see they show him in this document if you could find a Christine alive or just type in Kenny Loggins heart to heart Live I'll see which one it is Heart it was there's so many there's like

Thundercat and quest lover the two black representatives of like yacht rock does rule. Oh and Prince Paul DJ Prince Paul who's like a fucking big-time producer. He's one of the gravediggers With RZA and stuff and he's talking about it all too because it is music you grew up with. But how much they talk about how much they love Kenny Loggins like putting his oomph into Heart to Heart when he sings it. And I mean he couldn't look queefier. Oh, Kenny Loggins?

Oh my God. I don't remember what he looked like. Well this was. I just know him from now. No, no, no. Go down from? Yeah, can you back in the day? Yeah, he looks like shit. Yeah, I think that might be it. Yeah, 82 Well, he's let his hair grow gray. That's good

Yeah, there it is turn you too young for that? No. Oh, I had shoulder pads. No, no, no. Your suits when you were a kid had shoulder pads. Yeah, I remember the shoulder pads with the little thick collar. Don't forget, I was a model for tuxedos. What? I'm sorry. I can't forget it because I never knew that. I'm sorry. Yes, I was a tuxedo model.

For what? My mom was, uh, worked at a tuxedo rental place, small as FormaWare. So you stood in the window? Nope. They would have to do fashion shows and show like their new stuff, and I would be the ring bearer.

You would be the little- I'd have to walk down and open the thing up and give you a little shot of the inside lining. I was a ring bearer too, at my mom's second wedding. Yeah. Yeah, I had the tails tails they gave me the tails now if you go to this country so soulful but I tell you what when you're just a man singer of this kind of music and not playing any kind of instrument it does

make it particularly gay or 100% cuz you have to sway. If you could play a guitar or even the piano would be nice. That's why Michael McDonald's the coolest. Michael McDonald stays behind the keys. Yeah because you have nothing to do and you have to do moves. Yeah Kenny Loggis isn't playing guitar here so he's just swaying and dancing around with his knees tight together. So thin and tall. There's only five moves you can do to this. It's the knees together, it's the hips. Maybe both hands, like you're really bringing it in. And then you gotta do the step back, the one, two, three. Crouch down into your bum like you're sitting.

Yes. And then come back forward. There's only a few moves you can do. A little falsetto, but this gained the respect of many black people. He actually has the same moves as Dane Cook on stage. Now, they also gave a lot of fun facts that I already knew about Steve Lukather

and the Toto Boys are basically the root of everything. I love that you take so much pride in knowing stupid shit like that, that nobody cares about. It all leads into another thing and another thing. They do the little Planet of do the little things spreading out. I think he actually just found that out on Sirius not that long ago. The Toto thing right? Didn't you hear that on Sirius?

Long time ago. Z-Rock days. Wow whoa. What was that? That Toto is the basically the people from Toto, the Picaro brothers, and Dave Lukather, are the studio musicians for almost every one of these albums. Christine's not believing it. Christine, back up a little bit.

Maybe it's specifically, was it a thriller album? Maybe that's what you heard. No, that's the one I knew for sure. Christine, do you wanna go negative one pivot again? No. Is this what you're heading for? I'll tell you what, your pivot's gonna be held up by your face on the glass Jay gets mad when you fuck with his his music history Jesus

But I will tell you and see go around the room see if anyone can get well blue You already know the answer nobody's gonna guess no this isn't this is this is one of Jay's things We all have to feel like shit cuz we don't know I don't I would Have said this I would have guessed this answer. This is interesting I thought if I would have thought about maybe would have been a guess Who is the band that they really attribute to it all branching the genre of yacht rock? Who is the ultimate yacht rock? I'll give you two band They are the epitome of yacht rock it all and it all springs up Nope, it all springs off. Nope.

It all springs off of this group. This is why I didn't want to even venture a guess because your nopes make me feel like shit. Well they shouldn't. I'm just letting you keep moving. I wouldn't have known this either. But you should have said no. No.

That's that. Right. This is your nope. Nope. Nope. I hear stupid when you say that. Stupid. Dummy. I'm not him, Bobby that stupid dummy. I'm not him Bobby all right You're not I'm not that guy that hurt you fucking Billy

Well you sound like them sometimes You have the same hair. He knew a lot about yacht rock too, and he hated that I didn't know enough No, it's just a pure. Okay. It was a band. It was a band. It's a band what year give me the year It was a band. It was a band. It's a band. What year? Give me the year. Can you give me a little year?

70s. 70s. Mid 70s. Gap band. 70s through the 80s. No, they're not, yeah, they're disco. Disco. Okay, I said Aria Speedwagon, right?

You did. Okay, yacht rock band. Mm-hmm. Jacob, you could throw us someone out there if you have any ideas. He has no, he's a cowboy. I almost wanna say some of the eagle stuff, but that's not.

Nope, nope. They're two countries and they have no elements of jazz. Thank you. That's the thing. It's a Boppy Jazz. Abba. Is the thing. No, no.

That's way better. That made me feel. Boppy Jazz sound. I would have said Toto. How do you not? I would have guessed. Toto would have been my guess. Because it's all those guys play on everything,

but it's a certain band that you don't even realize a lot of the toto guys Did their album did their music too, but there was the band where they kind of figured out their own thing toto essentially Wanted to be like that band right? Now you're thinking too you're thinking Huey Lewis and the new They were two new. That's 80s. They were two new. Well they, they were recession musicians. They actually did Elvis Costello's first album.

Elvis Costello, also not Yacht Rock. Nope. The pinnacle of Yacht Rock. If you want a Yacht Rock album, there's gonna be four songs for sure by this band on every Yacht Rock list. Okay, Lou? Can I guess? Sure.

I'm just gonna throw a white band out there. You mean rock? Okay. It's either... Do you know who I thought he was cheating? No. Other than his phone? It's either...

The Beach Boys or The Beatles. Neither. Okay, okay. The Beatles? Oh, The Beatles are rock. That was a terrible guess. I'm just throwing it out there. I don't know.

Beach Boys was... Beach Boys wasn't a bad guess. That was a good guess. For a young black man, that was a terrible guess. I'm just throwing it out there, I don't know. Beach Boys was a good guess. Beach Boys wasn't a bad guess. That was a good guess. For a young black man, that was a fantastic guess. The Doors. The Doors? I don't know. I'm not doing it.

Do you know what Yacht Rock is? I do, I do, but this is why this- You're not naming any of the bands from it. Okay. I think if I played them for him, I don't think he would get it. Yes he would. All right, go ahead, play it.

Play it, real quick. ["YOT ROCK"] Ba-da-da-da-da. Ba-da-da-da. Ba-da-da-da-da. Ba-da-da-da. Ba-da-da-da-da. Boo, boo, boo.

Boo, boo, boo. I've seen your picture. Yeah. So now you know it. I know the song. Right. Yeah. Sang by the band that started the yacht rock That's a sensational seven what? Sensational seven see that's not even the name of a band. Oh, it's not you sure I bet there's a bad chain

We don't know who's place who sings it give him another one God, I do love that song too. Mm-hmm. You're doing good. Give another one. They're not they're a hit machine. Oh my god I know this song. Hit them with another. Steely Dan. Thank you. Shit. And she should know that. Oh, I knew, but I watched it. Well, she watched it last night. Yeah. No, because she didn't know that before.

I mean, I feel like I may have guessed it though. She could have had a guess at that, possibly. Didn't she have a thing with you with Steely Dan before? Yes, I did. Yes, she did. Oh, she called that it was a song that was Steely Dan. I didn't think it was Steely Dan. Dirty Work, too, which is like was a song that was Steely Dan. I didn't think it was Steely Dan. It was Dirty Work, too, which is a pretty popular song.

Steely Dan, wow, I didn't know that. That's crazy, and it is very Yacht Rocky. Yeah, they are. Oh my God. Well, the idea that they, apparently it came from a web series. I didn't even know that was a thing. And the idea was the music sounds like a million bucks, not necessarily music to listen to on a yacht.

It's just a million, and they said, Loggins and Messina I think it was taken from like their album cover or something was them I gonna boat whatever so that's where they just kind of took the term and kind of threw it together I was thought you out rock was because it's like older people on a yacht sure shit but I think it is I think it's what it brings out to you and you're having this song here yes perfect yeah this is great But this music to drink some kind of spritzer to yeah, you should definitely have a picnic basket An old lady getting a drunk yeah some lady being obnoxious Yeah, I don't care if your boyfriend's colored. I just wouldn't I have a family day today

She has a whole spread, but nobody eats it because they're shit face. Oh, yeah, no one cares brush shrimp from yesterday. Ha. I wouldn't have thought this. Now, is there ever gonna be a band, do you think there's ever gonna be a... Or is there maybe a band now who is doing yacht rock, bringing it back or doing it... No, just cover bands.

There's no original... There's no original, so many types of music anymore. Well, I didn't know why this guy was in the documentary, Thundercat, and then it was because he did a song with Michael McDonald and Kenny Loggins, There's no original so many types of music anymore I didn't know why this guy was in the documentary Thundercat and then it was because he did a song with Michael McDonald Kenny Loggins, but I think that's hilarious Looks like a thundercat put it on Remember he they said like he asked who he wants to write with the most and he said the two of them He made a yacht rock rap He's telling his parents he's gay.

He's telling his gay parents he's gay. Oh, is it two women? TKM Wellness. He has no arms. He has no arms. He's missing an arm. I mean both arms. I think both arms.

I think there was one was there. Can you scroll back? I just want to see one thing. What are you there? Oh, Lord. He has both arms are gone. Both arms are gone. was there. Can you scroll back? I just want to see one thing. Where are we there? He has both arms are gone. Both arms are gone. He has both arms are in a knot. His sleeves are knotted up. Who tied the knots by the way? It's like a pirate. Do you have to say honey honey can you please tie my knot arms? How is his chest so big with nowhere to

hold weights? How does he play the piano? Oh I'll tell you how this guy doesn't have no arms. Oh yeah he's doing it for the video? Yes. Why would he do that? What do you mean he has no arms? He has no arms. I mean look at his body. His body was like arms. It's like a costume. What is the point of this commercial, this video then? We're about to find out. No he has no arms. I mean that's... Yeah., he has no arms. Well, I mean, that's... Buddy, he has no arms. Well, I think they're in front of him now. It's always the perspective shot.

His body's not normal. It's because his arms are there. Can you Google him regular after this, please? Bobby, look at the... They can see his arms! Come on, Bobby! That's his stomach, dude! Behind his stomach, on the side, where his arms are.

I don't see his arms. Now they'll be in front of him i hope he has no arms and i i'm sorry to say that to him what if conveniently not showing his arms all i know is in the documentary everybody had their arms this song sucks for three decades worth of shitty he's a guy just slapped this guy and black stuff came out of him. Did his arms grow back? No. I bet you by the end of this video,

his arms are back, Bobby. Bobby, bet me a million dollars right now that his arms are back in this video. I bet you a million dollars. I bet you a million dollars. He has no arms, dude. That is fake. That's not fake.

They did fucking CGI on a shitty video. Yes. There's no, buddy, he has no arms. That's why this. Buddy, you just have to put green screen over the bottom of the arms. Dude, there's no way he doesn't have arms, bro. Green screen arms. That's why this you just have to put a green screen over the bottom of the arms, dude You keep doesn't know. Hey, he doesn't have arms bro. Why not?

Did lieutenant Dan fool you as well? Yeah Gary the Gary sneeze amputated his legs for the whole really quick though really quick though. Oh, wow Why is he so wide again covered in this thing, but he had he that's a belly. That's a belly Yes, they're behind him. They're behind him because he's balancing. He has no arms Dude he has no arms bro Christine skip to the head of this awful video with shitty music You think he grows his arms back in I do yes, I do you think that's what the songs about yeah, Bobby I do think that's what the song is about now. He has no arms in every they're gonna go back at the end There's no arms you owe me a million dollars.

You're not even hanging in there. You owe me a million. Look up the guy from the video, find out who he was. He lost his arms. And show that he has arms. He doesn't have arms. You can't have a chest like that with no arms. But do, yes you can.

Did he lose them last week? Maybe he worked out a lot and then lost his arms. The other day. Yeah, he was in a yacht accident. And he lost. He was helping a yacht dock and fucking smashed him. Yeah. If you have no arms, you're gonna enjoy food at least.

Yeah. Now this guy's, it's too barely, it's too muscle. But it makes no sense. The video doesn't make sense, it doesn't have arms. The song's not about having arms. It's not a song about not being able to hug people again. What is it about? Exactly, but why would he choose that?

There's no way. He has no arms. This song was after he lost his arms, he wrote this song. That's not him. That's not him. No, the guy on the TV was the guy singing. Yeah, that's the guy. This guy has no arms.

This song was about a guy who lost his arms. That's what lyrics you think are about? Yeah, did you hear it? Chrissy, have we vamped enough for you to do the research on this? It says, Thundercat helps an armless samurai grow wings and show you away video. Thank you. But he didn't grow arms in the video. I know.

He thinks this is like a character. He didn't grow arms in the video. Hello? Virtual effects arm removal for Thundercat music video. No, no, no, no, no, no. I want to see this guy. I want to see... No, that's not proof. You're goddamn right you're good. It's not proof. It's not proof. It's not proof. That is one pibin for this guy right here. You don't understand the point of the video. Jacob, you're focusing on the wrong thing. No one understands the point of the video.

But this guy's got fake half arms. Is that him? Yeah, but that's before the arms got cut off. That's pre-armed. That's pre-armed. That's when he was in really good shape. You got to go to where he does his name is Delane Vaughn

He's an armless veteran. He lost him in the fighting in the war as a samurai. IMDB go to IMDB. There you go Damn it. Go to Wikipedia Wikipedia He doesn't have arms. He has arms. Why would they do that? Why would you spend money on visual effects for a dumb video that nobody's going to watch? I mean, it's bizarre. A whole budget was on his arms.

Yeah, they spent $100,000 on his dumb arms to get one shot of him by a fucking fountain? Yes. That's ridiculous, Jay. Think about what you're saying. they faked his arm missing. They didn't fake his arms. He has no arms How do you not have this yet is Michael McDonald CGI fat? No, that's real About say what he didn't look that fat in that video, which may be CGI You think CGI is just fat. Can they do that? I wish they could do that. They CGI'd him slim, you're saying. Could they do that in post? Could they go back and like say, show like Killbox, go back and make somebody thinner?

Yeah. I could do that? Absolutely. I really should do that. They did me on Skyline Scythe's Night without a beard. It didn't look good. But they really took some liberties with my face underneath. I'm gonna see that. There was no chin. Yeah, he had arms back when he was a player. He has arms arms just generally speaking

Little trivia though Michael McDonald wrote maybe article wrote one Van Halen song. I'll wait. Oh, it's great Nice great song great one of my favorite Van Halen songs, you know what blew my mind was the Regulate Warren G. They sampled a Michael McDonald song. What? He's got complete arms. That's his wife. That's him. That's him right there?

Yes. No, that's him. That's not him in that video. That's him when he had arms. He doesn't just post things about his full arm times. Dude, he's a dancer. That's when he had arms. That's when he could dance. He lost his arms in a. Dude, he's a dancer. That's when he had arms. That's when he could dance.

He lost his arms in a dancing accident. He's a performer. No, he's not. Absolutely. In fairness to you, Bobby, this was from 450 weeks ago. Yeah, dude. He lost his arms, bro. It's all right.

You owe me a million dollars, man. Yes, go to his Facebook. Go to his... Oh my God, this guy's a fucking ghost. He took everything off after his accident Bobby He doesn't want to see him with I'm not accepting that he has no arms. It's false He doesn't have arms, bro. So he lost his arms and he gained a weird amount of weight No in 2000 wouldn't you buddy in 2016?

He lost his arms in an accident and he and now he hasn't posted since then because he doesn't want to He had a hard time and this song was about him finding wings accident and he and now he hasn't posted since then because he doesn't want to he had a hard time and this song was about him finding wings finding wings that was the birds at the end too much than the lyrics of the song had nothing to do with that some goddamn video that he's in I let me ask you a higher than a video and they go do you mind wearing these green gloves so we can take your arms off in the video that's not right okay listen yes the guy in the thundercat video has arms.

Thundercat has a... Oh, then I agree to that, because Lou just said it. Well, who said it? Yeah, who says that? Where is your source, Lou? Yeah, that was... AI Google?

Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, I believe that. There he is with arms. When he had arms. It's another Thundercat video. Oh, so that's what happens. It's a character. It's a character, he's gonna lose his arms from the samurai

Let me see him lose the arms I'm gonna see him lose the arms. I feel like you're gonna see it in this video He's gonna lose them arms and this is what video then changes by thundercat. So he loses the so this is like a Yeah, Bobby you're moving on oh look at that Yeah, but those arms are cut off way higher than his arms were. Yes, absolutely, because they're not keeping consistent because they had less money for this video for the green screen. Well, if I had a team of fucking people working for me...

Don't be mad at me because you were so wrong on this. And I will take that $1 million in $1 a day payments for the next million days. This one million. I know you have a family family and I respect the shit out of that so I'm gonna take one dollar from you every day like a bully for the rest for the rest of your natural life. Like lunch money? Yeah and if inflation goes up again I will turn that to two dollars. All right well you know? You know what I'm gonna do? I was wrong Jay, and I apologize Hey, you know what though what I?

Have to fight for what I believe in mm-hmm, and I believe he had on he lost his arms But you know for a fact now he didn't I know for a fact now that he didn't right lost him in a samurai sword fight Okay, yeah, well you're watching what happened Jay, yeah I know for a fact now that he didn't right lost him in a samurai sword fight. Oh Okay, yeah, well you're watching what happened Jay, yeah, okay, so you're saying the armless samurai Lost his arms. Yep in samurai battle not the long eba dungo his name is not his name is his name is Donnie and egg your Jello

dingli a Jello, but Yaka Bataka His name is, his name is Donye Vaughn. The Dungley and Deggy Ocello. The Dingly Ocello. But Yaka Bataka, Yaka Batali Matumbo? Lost, has arms, he has arms. Yeah, he absolutely has arms. It's weird though that he hasn't posted since 2016. Well that was his dance career before he became the Armageddon Samurai character. Character.

He has arms. The man himself has arms. He has arms, he has arms. I'm very excited we figured that out. I can't believe that they actually did that type of visual effects in that shitty video. That song was terrible. Um, it was so, so bad. Questlove was already talking about it. He's always a little bit of a knob, though, too.

What do you mean? I don't know. I think that Questlove smells his own shit too much. He smells like french toast. Fucking giant pear. Do his own shit too much. He smells like french toast. That fucking giant pear. Do you know that? What? He smells like french toast.

What, does he have an African oil? Yeah, he's got an oil that he uses and every time I've been near him, I just smell french toast. Nice. To the point where I was like, dude, you smell like french toast. Yeah.

And he was like, take? Well, before I leave every day, I lay myself in egg batter. Ha ha ha. Cinnamon and egg batter. Don't tell people. That's my little secret. I like Questlove.

I mean, he did something to me. He's very talented. When I was doing FX, when I was doing sex drugs, and I had to learn how to play drums in like two months. And I saw him out in front of the cellar. I think he was there with Schumer, because they were pals. And I ran, and I've met him before. I saw him out in front of the cellar, I think he was there with Schumer, because they were pals, and I ran,

and I've met him before, I met him at a couple. We saw him at Madonna before, I met him at Schumer's apartment. Yeah, I met him there too, yeah, right. He was always nice, whatever, DJing, so I ran out and I was like, dude, Questlove, I got this show, I'm on TV, I gotta learn the drums, can you give me any tips

or anything, you know, to help me? And he did give me great advice, he goes, don't learn how to play the drums. Can you give me any tips or anything to help me? And he did give me great advice. He goes, don't learn how to play the drums. He goes, just learn how to play the songs that they give you and you'll be fine. Which, because I'm sitting there going, one, two, three, four. Pat Rudd-Diddle.

Pat Rudd-Diddle, yes. And I would have lost my fucking brains and I just wanted to learn the songs. So he did give me good advice. He's your mentor. Well, not my mentor, but he did walk away from me. Didn't even say goodbye. Questlove is your longtime drum mentor.

He is. And so you can't say anything negative about... I cannot. ...what he did. But I'm saying he always comes off like a bit of a boob. Ha-ha-ha-ha. I don't know. Something about him I don't like.

But listen, he's Philly. They're the Roots. It's awesome. But he's overexposed He did give me the 10,000 hours speech which sucked It's like yeah, I have 10,000 hours. Look at my face. Yeah, I fucking asshole fucking 10,000 hours You're lucky if I have fucking five years left. Yeah, I don't know there's something bit as whole You're just supposed to say it pay attention to his cool from the neck up and ignore the fact that he's built like a fucking old Muppet

He's built like snuffle up against its insane It's insane. He lost a lot of weight though. He did lose weight Yeah, yeah, cuz somebody must have squeezed his torso and put it all in his ass and legs. He's got a big booty, man But he is a badass motherfucker Absolutely. He is man. That's professor of he is a badass motherfucker. Absolutely. He is, man. He's a professor of cankles at UCLA. He's got that pic in his hair too all the time.

Absolutely. All of his sneakers look like they're open too far. You know what I'm saying, Lou? None of his fucking, looks like none of his laces are tight on his shoes. When I did the Tonight Show, he gave me a pair of his drumsticks though. That was very nice. Really? He actually didn't give them to me, he gave them to somebody to give to me.

They all laughed at my Michael Vick joke on Jimmy Fallon and then none of them supported me when they fucking took it off the air. Those cocks. Look at him, look at him just taking up space. That's a bad angle. Yikes. That's so horrible they would use that picture. Yeah, I did.

A terrible angle of bad legs. Yeah, that's like my angle at Comic Con from fucking on the floor up. God. Yeah, that's not a good angle for a fat person. The back of his knees hurt. It's funny because his feet aren't that big either. He's got a big lower half and not big feet. And I'm saying some pretty mean things here.

And all I have to say is really this. Questlove, you've had opportunities to befriend me. You chose not to. This is the wrath. You had many opportunities to stay in touch. I tried the Philly thing, I tried the Eagles talk, the Sixers talk, we both know these people, blah, blah, blah, nothing.

So you know what, now you get it, you fucking baked potato. Did you try the Def Jam talk? Or the P Diddy talk, that P Diddy was your manager? Oh, I should have told him P Diddy was my manager. That would have been the end, back then, not now. And I should have tapped him on the chest with a little baby oil, like, hmm? You wanna party?

It must be weird to have to shop for small up top and big in the middle. He's dating, or he was dating at least, a girl we know. Really, I thought he was gay. No, no, his body's gay though. His body is gay? His body is gay. He's built like he should be gay with an older white man.

Yeah, he should have a bunch of small dogs. Yeah. Amir, Amir, Questlove, when the gang's around. He gets mad when he doesn't go pillow shopping. Yeah, he was with her for a while. Let me see. She's a white chick. Yeah, yeah.

I think she was, wasn't she on this show before? She white or black? I don't know. she's white yeah she's white yeah was it she's one that took Josh has sex party right yeah she took Josh to a sex party she was on the him bo's she was on him bo's podcast very hot she is hot did quit did whoa what's her name Laura Desiree you can see your butthole and pussy and everything all right oh I thought you wanted to now oh that's fine yeah no I know that's What's your name? Laura Deseret. You can see her butthole and pussy and everything. All right. Oh, I thought you wanted to. No.

Oh, that's fine, yeah. No, that's right, my bad. I know you hate looking at attractive women naked. I mean, I like the short hair. The short hair on a chick is my thing. I love short hair. Really, that's what I would say. If I was picking a change,

I would say I'd like to see her with her long hair. I love short hair. But she pulls it off, for sure. 100% pulls it off. There you go. What is this? This is her pussy. And that is her tits there.

Boobs, okay. And then underneath there is, you'll see the labia majoris outlining, Bobby, you writing this down? What is the? The labia minoris. Minoris, or, do you say majoris or minoris? Majoris on the outside, minoris on the inside. Now sometimes you'll find the minoris

protruding out of the minoris or majoris, and that is hilarious. It sounds, it looks like your queefs sound like whoopee cushions. Pfft. No, you don't have to bring up the thing, but you can see, there's her pussy, it's great. Yeah. It's probably pretty good.

It's shaved. Jacob, there's her pussy. Yeah, you wouldn't have sex with her, dude, right? I know you're right, she's gross, because of that hair, you're right. Jacob, you're right, and we're all wrong. She doesn't have hair, I like hair. Huh?

I don't like a shaved box. No, I like the shaved hair. You like shaved? No, no, Bobby, he definitely likes the shaved pussy. He's saying he doesn't like her short head hair Oh and for those reasons he's out. No, you said I'm out. Oh, you do it's not my thing Oh, I learned to live with it. Oh, okay. I thought you were saying you would not like you're like, yeah Now with that short hair, I would have sex with anything learn to live with it. You'd learn to love it Jacob You'd comb it for her. Hey, Kirby Allison says if you wanna get a nice tight thing you use this balm, this hair balm.

I would try, I would even have sex with Lisa Trager. Who? Lisa Trager, Liza Trager. Oh, Lisa Trager? Oh, I assumed you were just saying the wrong person. No, you wouldn't. Why wouldn't I? Huh? No, you wouldn't. Why wouldn't I huh? Why wouldn't you hang on? I'm gonna write all them down at this point. I don't get fired. I'll tell you all the reasons

What why you don't fuck Lisa Trager Well, that's a good shot right there nice beaver shitty couch now Jacob you're out now because she has hair in her pussy, right? Ah, shitty couch. Now, Jacob, you're out now because she has hair in her pussy, right? There's hair all in the wrong places. What are you talking about? That's where it's supposed to be, right there. That's actually perfect pussy hair. Are you kidding, Jacob?

That's perfect. It's perfect. It's right above it. It looks like it's lining. I mean, I'm farther back. It looks like it's lining her vagina. Do you know where her vaginas are? Yes.

I can walk you through it if you want. That thing right there. It's that thing. You know. She's hot for sure. It doesn't go all the way down to her, but you're seeing that wrong. Yeah, that's her butthole.

Her butthole is the dark part. Then her minoris. It's leftover Questlove chin hair. Also, you notice that she can open her legs really really wide to wrap around that fucking human mango Biggest yeah, he's got the biggest lower half. I've ever seen fat on fat crime my favorite Son of a bitch could play the drums though. I don't know. It's just that that whole outfit right there That's what I don't like about him. It's like this because he dresses like a nerd It's my I think he thinks he is like a very smart nerd. You're a drum player. He just in the roots

He dresses like a professor. Yes. Yeah, he was the tie the button down with the tie with the sweater with the jacket Yeah, and then cool sneakers This guy looks like Cornell Northeast and South All the other Cornell's rolled in the one. Cornell West is just one skinny black guy with that hair. This guy's Cornell all the other directions. As my mentor though, I love- As your drum mentor for sure. As my drum mentor, I really admire that he went the other way. He could dress all weird and crazy and he didn't he dressed it kind of I think though It's this or like full da Shiki like fucking Erica Badoo head. It's it's Dumb he always wear suits. I saw him on a plane once in here. He had a suit on

Picture from here to him because somebody's making fun of his chest. They're making fun of his lower half. Exactly, I mean, that guy's got birthing hips. He does look like two different people. Yeah, it looks like he's like sitting in robot legs of another thing. He's a thinner man who's sitting in robot legs. You think his legs got chopped off and they gave him fat person legs?

Questlove, let this be known by the way. All of this what I'm saying about you could have been avoided but you just befriending me more when I spoke to you in those moments. There he is right there in a big jumpsuit. Looking with Chris Rock. It's not the first time they've shared the stage together. Oh yes, the down at the bottom, yeah. I think Quest of a come accept an award after that no one acknowledged the slap. Oh is that who? So he was giving the award to his quest love he made a documentary about large bottom clothes In the Sudan he's wearing a parachute absolutely, dude

Terrible it took the lives of 17 children in Kenya to make this jacket He did get skinny skinny for a minute, though. No, his hair just got bigger. He's wearing like like man, moomoo's. Sometimes, you know, like they're. Look at that. He's like, yeah, I'm so cultural and flowy. Guys, I have to wear flowing clothes to talk about culture with you.

That's what he should wear all the time. There it is. Look at that, dude. Those are Jared's old pants from fucking Subway. Yeah. Well, why wouldn't he, like, in those outfits, why wouldn't he get tighter pants on the bottom? Why wouldn't he tighten shit up? Because he's a fat person like myself

who believes at a time that if you wear bigger stuff, it's hiding how big you are. Meanwhile, you're wearing clothes that are feloniously large. But it sucks, though, when you lose weight, because you lose weight in certain parts first, and then the certain parts last. And he lost weight in his head, shoulders, tits,

and it just stayed on his hips. Neck, even belly, even rib cage, fine. If in fact, if his upper body matches lower body, it'd be fine. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'd rather you be proportionate than this. It's just wrong.

It looks like a pan. Dudes with giant hips that just look off. Can I have a medium shirt and a quadruple X-Manse? His top half could shop at the regular mall, his bottom half is with DXL. Hey, do you have a three-piece suit for a Minotaur here? Maybe a Griffin, someone built like a Griffin? I still love him.

Of course you do dude. This guy mentored you through fucking tumultuous years of drumming. You know, now that you're actually... He was like your whiplash. He was yelling at you, your hands were bleeding. You're gonna get it dude. He is kind of a dick though. Now that I'm thinking about it.

He's just... Every conversation I've had with him, he's looking already around, like, who else is gonna be? Machine Gun Kelly did the same thing. Yeah, but Machine Gun Kelly is a fucking tool. Uh, right. Look at you finally saying that. This guy, you were all up his shit for a while. I love his song with Young Blood, or whatever his name is.

You know his name. Young Blood? What's his name? You know exactly what his name is. I don't know, but you definitely know. I think it's Young Blood. You think but you definitely I think it's young blood You think it is I think it's you know, it is but you think saying I think makes you seem more cool Like I don't even know it's a great song. I'll fucking dance to that song anytime. I know you will I love it Machine gun Kelly's terrible. I mean, I don't know, you know, I like that music

I know but he particularly is, um... He's a tool. He's untalented. He's a tool. I agree. He's a fucking tool. He's definitely a tool. You know, anybody who gets beaten out of a... He was a rapper and then he got killed out of it and went to a whole other genre. He's also not an awesome guy.

How do you know? You met him? Yeah. A lot of people that I've met, like musicians, particularly famous musicians, it is interesting you see the people who are like, it doesn't matter if I like your music or not necessarily, or if I'm in that genre of music, like if they're awesome dudes, I immediately respect their talent for one.

And it's also like, you kind of want to like it. Do you know what I mean? Machine Gun Kelly was exactly the dildo I thought he was gonna be. Why, what'd he do? Same, I just, Pete Davidson introduced us, and he shook my hand, and then as I said, the three sentences I said to him, he was looking, like, over me like this.

Like, he was like, yeah, yeah, all right, cool, man. And then he just left. But did he see you do what you do? No, but his friends, he, Pete gave me, like, this is one of the funniest dudes in the world, blah, blah, but his friends, Pete gave me like, this is one of the funniest dudes in the world, blah, blah, blah. But he was like, yeah, yeah,

and then he was kinda like, yeah. And I was like, dude, I saw you killed it at Rock on the Range. I was there the same year, and he was like, I was doing comedy the one year there, and I saw you kind of on a whim, and it was great, and he was like, yeah, yeah. That's funny that you told me it was great.

It was that night, and Christine told me how much she loved his suit, and then he treated me like a jag off. Christine, you love the suit? She loves Machine Gun Kelly. She loves gay guys. She loves his personality. She likes his whole thing.

I don't love his personality. He's so famous. She loves... You got an old lady pregnant. She loves everything about Machine Gun Kelly. I tell you what, though. His whole, um, his look is weird, fucking thin, thin, tall glass of water horse shit.

I do, I've always liked that because I've always wanted that in my life. I've always been short and dumpy, you know what I mean? Or I've never been that. I wanna be Bam Margera body, that's what I always said I wanted. Not muscular, just take your shirt off body. Yeah, just take your shirt off.

Have a rib tattoo of something stupid. A bad decision I made when I was younger. No, you off like have a rib tattoo of something stupid. Mmm a bad decision I made when I was younger. Yeah, you can't have a rib tattoo No, I can't now. No No, no, no for sure. It would look like it's a fucking tattoo on one of my udders You'd have to get a rib tattoo that changes into something else when you gain your weight back. It still looks alright Balloon, just a picture of a balloon. It's like oh now it's a big big balloon Dude, my tattoo on my arm is like in the wrong spot now. Oh yeah.

Yeah, because I lost weight. I got this tattoo when I was fat. Yeah, Bam is, I like Bam. Bam's body's cool. Brad Pitt's body was my, my. Well, Fight Club, that was everybody's, like your skinny muscure. His body in his whole career

was been the body that I would, if I could have a body that I wanted to be. Probably on par, same thing, it's just like basic body, just body. Thin. Thin. Thin, I love thin. Yeah.

What about Marky Mark's body? That was when he first came out in the Funky Mark? Too much effort, it's gay. It's almost gay how much you put that effort and shave your chest down. Look at him in, what was that? Fight Club. No, that's not Fight Club, is it? Yeah. Okay. Look at him in, what was that? Fight Club. No, that's not Fight Club, is it?

Yeah. Okay. What was the other movie he was into where he was a boxer? The Guy Ritchie movie. Oh, Snatch. Snatch, that was another, when he was just shredded. Snatch, look at that. I guess what I just have to say to you is are you gay?

God, but I love that fucking. Hang on, I think Barbara Walters has a question. I guess what I just have to say to you is are you gay? What, that resonated a little bit. Yeah. Just think about it a little bit before you answer. No, but like, it sucks to me at this age that I've finally given up, like that's never gonna happen,

but there were parts of my life where I was like, maybe? Really? Yeah, like maybe? You were right there. Maybe I could get there? No, not me ever. Not ever. I was fat, I have fat or balloon that was left out.

Pfft. You look like a melted candle. Yeah. Oh, my naked body. I've even lost weight, my naked body I bet is a melted candle. Yeah. Oh, my naked body. I've even lost weight. My naked body, I bet, is a cherish. Yeah, but your body now is a gay type. What do you mean?

You're a bear. Floppy bear. You're a floppy bear, baby. Oh. A lot of men would kill to be with you. Just grab my belly and pull it out eight inches. Dude, you would make so much money on OnlyFans as a floppy bear. I'm open to it. You would.

You just sit in that room, that side room in your apartment, take your shirt off and. I don't want people to take, I would just go full, I would go, I would naked, I would sing songs and dance around like a girl on a bed, but it's gonna get out there. If just guys. Wear a mask. If just guys I wanted to whack off to,

I have a lot of telling tattoos. Yeah, but wear a mask and then cover up some of the tattoos. Wear gloves, wear gloves. You wear gloves anyways, just put fingers on them. Oh, finger full gloves. He goes, is this Big Jay? Probably not, those gloves are full finger. Yeah.

I would love for you to just do that one night to see how many people would actually jump on and pay you. Just to be topless. What if I do a thing where I can like get on my back to see how many people would actually jump on and pay you. Just to be top of the list. I wonder if I could do a thing where I can get on my back and put my legs, get my legs pulled back far enough where I can really reach down and open my asshole for you. Like that with two hands.

You just prolapse your asshole? Yeah, and I make it go like the thing where it looks like a tongue comes out of the back. Like, gnaw, gnaw, gnaw. Looks like a dolphin hole. Yes. Yes. Now we're dolphin hold. Yes. Yes. Now we're cooking with gas, guys.

We're sitting here worried about contracts with radio and blah, blah, blah, Netflix nonsense. Fucking fuck that, dude. Are we worried? Let's just, well, we bother ourselves with all the things. There's so many things we've got out of our control. Usually we can control. Our very own OnlyFans, managed by you.

I manage it, yes. Where I just am a fucking pure gaper. How about this? I just go and just gape for people. I get an outfit I put on and I help you get into positions. Yes. Right?

Maybe like a seersucker suit. Like an old time, you're like, you're my Colonel Tom. Yeah, and I'll put a little, get a little thin mustache. I'll get a little thin black mustache. Absolutely, and you just, and once in a while you bring me in props

and I'll be like, Roberto, bring me the broom handle and then you hand to me and I'm still up like this with my legs between my thing and I'm just, and I just fuck that in front of the camera. Yeah, I bring you a salad but you don't eat it because it's full vegetables. Yeah, ew. And you put it right here.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, guys, we're gonna eat this salad in my butt mouth. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Ha, ha, ha. Watch me julienne this carrot. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, let's get into the OnlyFans, dude.

What's we're doing? We're sitting here dicking around. Whatever. Telling fucking jokes. It's a flooded market. I'll tell you, it was not a flooded market. Failed comedians fucking their own asses on OnlyFans. I'm telling fucking jokes. It's a flooded market. I'll tell you what, it's not a flooded market. Failed comedians fucking their own asses on OnlyFans. Nobody knows about that yet.

Failed mailed comedians fucking their asses on OnlyFans is an untapped market. I say we do it. I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I wanna be the assistant though. I have no dignity anymore.

I don't wanna show my asshole. No? No, I don't think my asshole would be good. My asshole's gonna be the star. Can we look at each other's assholes and critique each other's assholes one day? Yeah, sure. Will we just, you know, you show me yours, I'll show you mine, and then we can be like,

listen, dude, maybe you try this, maybe you try that, or you got a good asshole. I don't know if I have a great asshole, but I'm sure it's, like, visually, I'm just telling you it's clean, and believe with a little bit of work we can get anything in there. I believe if I believe, if I raise my pain threshold, lower my inhibitions, this could all be done with I believe opiates, and then I will just fuck my own ass aggressively with,

and people just throw a thing like, a bicycle handle, like yeah, send it, blah, blah, blah. Do the requests. But you don't know, Jay, you could actually have a talent down there you don't even know about. Maybe it doesn't take, maybe it just opens up. Maybe you've never tried it, you might have. I have said whenever I've ever I've done on

Suppository I start putting it in it gets halfway in and I almost go like oh no Can I get this in there and then my butthole slurps it up like a spaghetti noodle? Okay, I don't understand why or how it does it but it does it every time and it freaks me out And then it's gone by the way. I couldn't even finger my own ass and find anymore. It's taking it down the gullet Feed me seem. Yeah, It's in my ovaries. Do men have ovaries? No, we don't. Oh, then it's not there. It's not my ovary, but yeah, so I do have what I believe

to be possibly a very accepting asshole. I think you have a talent down there you don't even know about, you should probably just. That'd be great, dude, that'd be great. The word on the street about that, it goes, yo, if you watch Jay's OnlyFans, dude, that guy gets wailed on. Dude, that'd be great. That guy gets wailed on. It goes. Yeah, if you are Jay's only fans, dude That guy gets wailed on Be great as wailed on a light bulb up there. You can actually it doesn't break

Yeah, Jason Jason Ellis wasn't not he wasn't vocal enough for me. I need a lot more noise I think you want to hear that right while I'm getting drilled like you're killing me It's true he didn't really say much Oh, I think you're too far in! He was taking around a nine-incher and didn't say anything. Just the throws of passion. Hack. But there wasn't even a... Hacky.

Was there even a, uh, yeah. Oh yeah. Was there? Yeah, dude, there's dicks and butts. There's gonna be noise. I didn't, I don't remember hearing... No one stays stoic through an ass-fucking. I don't remember hearing yeah.

Christine, look up noiseless gay sex. Ha ha ha. And that's just because there's no audio. I mean, just two guys just like, all you hear is like. Not anything, it's like, do you see the news today? Yeah, and just, I mean, pounding. Yeah, and they're just talking regular.

I can't believe Biden actually pardoned his son. I know. Once it means... Once it means... Like, I have to assume this gets to a point where it's like, once you've just dialed back that pain of getting your butt fucked, you could probably butt fuck and just, like, take a phone call or something. Yeah.

That used to be some of my favorite porn. Do you remember that move? They're doing their first, you know, who knows, but they're doing their first porn. And then while they're getting like, you know, they have two black guys in her pussy and asshole, like she calls her mom. And they'll be like, Mom, I did it. I'm doing my first scene right now. I just I have a dick all the way at my button. Like, that's great, honey. Oh, God, I knew you could do it. No, I've never seen that one. How do you go that deep? Calls mom during porn. Christine, look it up. Well, that's on a cruise ship. Yeah, that face is my favorite thing I've ever seen in a thing. Oh, it sure is up there. Oh my god.

This might be my favorite pornography ever. This is the worst. This is two, I would say, twinks, right? The faces the guy on the bottom is making is exactly what you'd think it would happen. Oh, God. Finish! Oh, the guy on top, though, has such a good position. Oh, I think that's my room on the Pearl. I see my cigarette butts.

This little guy is squatted on a chair and the other guy's standing. But I'll tell you what, they are making. No, this guy is doing great on a chair and the guy standing but I'll tell you what they are making No, this guy's doing great. Can I say something? I think you're wrong. It's the seat No, but this guy's beat this guy's being quiet. He's mostly working Guys riding other guys cock while he's jacking off, but I'll tell you what dude stoic and the guy fucking is just smiling He's not really doing much else. Why would you not smile with that happening? Yeah, the guy doing all the works the guy getting butt-fucked Can you I will tell you if you just like if you lean over see I'll smoke a cigarette on that

Balcony in a second and just lean over and be like hey, what's that? And you just see a guy riding other guys come Like oh my god guys This is definitely a cruise ship. I'll be like guys. What are you doing? Piercing the veils going on in ten minutes. I love Jacob just said this is definitely a cruise ship No, it's a building that's moving on the ocean. Yeah. Yeah, that's not a cruise ship. This is as these are these guys yachts Oh my god, they both have the same size penis. Yeah, it looks like his one dick is a continuation of his dick I don't like- Oh, Yacht Rock does play with this.

See me, baby, baby, baby. Looks like he's singing it. Christine, turn both up, please. Mash up. Doesn't it look like he's singing it? This is like Jay-Z's Grey album. He's watching right now. Phone is in the phone.

Bobby, boner check me. I got nothing, dude. I got nothing, too. I got nothing, dude. I got nothing. You're trying to make it be something. Mine's so soft. Dude, mine's like in my body. It's so soft. It's uncomfortable. Mine's actually in my own asshole. You love this so much though. I hate it. No, I know. I really don't.

You're freaking out right now. This is why I don't like it. Look at you over talking, trying to make sure that no one notices how much you love it. I don't like it. This is why I don't like it. The other guy's hard too. Ow. Hold on.

I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to make sure that no one notices how much you love it I don't like it. This is why I don't like it. The other guys hard to Ha I don't like that. They're both hard one should be floppy Christine can you please we're not gay men here. Can you please go to the girl calling her mother after porn?

What publicity for the princess on the sea cruise ship? Oh absolutely Oh is that on the princess of the sea cruise ship. Oh absolutely Was that on the princess of the city actually they're actually there so the pirates don't attack the ship Then I'll just have guns on ships, so they just put those two guys in the Because in lieu of Kill yeah in lieu of cannons we have two gay guys just aggressively buttfuckin' with cocks you can see from across the sea. To reason away. Dude yacht rockin' buttfuckin' a dude on a cruise ship has to be the ultimate in yacht

rock life. Here's the problem with watching that type of gay porn. Now it's just- Now you can't jerk off for hours. It's just in your head. Now it's just. Now you can't jerk off for hours. It's just in your head. Now it's just in my head. Oh, the head and shaft were in. This is disgusting.

Now I'm gonna be talking to Don later and that's gonna flop into my head and I'm like, what are you thinking about? Nothing. You're making me think about men fucking on a cruise and how I'm missing out. That's how boring you are. Ship rocked, here I come.

I'm doing shiprocked and thing. I'll see if I can recreate that with somebody. You can't. You'll break the chair. I'll see if I can do my version. Yeah. I just want to be the, I don't want to necessarily get fucked, but I do want to be the guy who gets to make these faces.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, is that all the way? Ooh. You could never be the guy getting fucked. Why? Because you're too big. No, that's not true. You're not true you're too macho I know to move my body though you know how to move your body but you're watching no it's not it's not fluid enough dude you got it you're gonna arch your back more arch your back more my chair's too high all right wait you're gonna arch no you're gonna go the other

way go the other way turn around turn that way look turn that way Turn that way Turn that way you're too vertical to turn that way hold the arms of the chair now present a little bit present Wait, where's he's behind me? Yes. He's behind you. I was doing the newer move Wait, this is the move right here do that get up on the chair. Yeah, dude. You too. You know now We talking about now arch your back your back is flat Right here. Do that. Get up on the chair. Yeah, dude, you too. Nope. No. What are you talking about, dude? I'm so perched. Now arch your back.

Your back is flat. I'm packed out. It does nothing for me. No. You're blocking your way, sir. Put your head up. Head up. Head up.

Now arch your back. Put your bum up a little bit. Now look, look. I'm going to pass out for some reason. I can do it way better. You think? Yeah, I can do it way better. Go ahead, dude. Take it. All right. Okay. We're up on all fours. Bobby, your assholes no more presented than mine was. Now you look happier about it. Look how smiley you are though. You love this.

Like this. Oh, someone's got a secret. Oh, ow. That's way, I mean, that's way better. Bobby's preventing. Is Bobby's better? No, Bobby's presenting T that's way better. It's not preventing is Bobby's better. No Bobby's presenting to show little is my is mine better I'm sorry. Yes, right I'll go full face down ass up. That's what we're looking for here You mean hit the deck is a girl calling her mother we both have children by the way Now this isn't this is like a real this is like Some chick he just filmed there calling her mother answering thing. These are like This is like some chick. He just filmed there calling her mother answer anything. These are like

Porn videos were like mom. I can't believe I just got I just got gang bang by seven guys like that's great I mean Jesus Christ how bad do you have to be as a child for that to be good or a mother for you to go? That's wonderful, honey Oh my god, that's so wonderful. What a piece of shit Just a piece of shit. Why would you ever call your mom during sex? Um, well, the porn ones are... These have to all be fake, though. There's never a real one. No, that last one was real.

The one that we didn't watch. That's definitely real. Play that one, Christina, if you want to. Bobby wants to see it. So he's just fucking around. She's talking to her mom. This is real. Ugh. This is, yeah, this is like, yeah, I see it. So he's just fucking around, she's talking to her mom. This is real. This is, yeah, this is like, I get it.

I don't get filming it and putting it out. Just because she's an OnlyFans piece of shit, but like, well, so I don't mean that. Now that I'm an OnlyFans piece of shit, not gonna be wailing my asshole with broomsticks and what have you. Ooh, Bobby. Yeah, what's up? How about this, no one's done this yet me and you we both put one

We each get our own set of num chucks, but we only put one Stick of nun Chuck up our ass and then we try to fight with nun chucks with the one that's hanging out. I Like that, but can you use your penis too? No, no In fact, I would suggest holding your balls and penis back so you don't get some nun chuck recoil hitting you in the bag How about this if you hit the penis or the balls, that's a point. Ooh, with your chucks. Yeah, with my chucks. If you swing your chucks to hit my ball bag.

Yeah. Point! Right, that's one point. If I hit your ball bag and you go down, that's how you win. Yes. I like that. This no tournament, This real life. Hahaha! And then Christina will go,

Oi! And then we just fucking start coming out and assholes swinging fucking nunchucks. We have Lou, Lou and Jacob holding up cards as like the kumite. Christine, please go on LobsterTube and type in the word nunchucks. N-U-N.

Chucks. I'd like to believe this hasn't happened before. Oh, point winner. We call them, we call them- Oh, that's another point. Point Bobby. We call them bum-chucks. Bum-chucks.

I bet somebody already did that. It was right there. Somebody had stuck a nunchuck up in their ass. Christine's got a face like she's sifting through tons of it. She's like, oh my God, there's so much nunchuck up the ass pornography. That's funny There's what Now it's gonna be someone with nunchucks not in their asshole probably oh

Is that me? Oh, that's a girl. I thought my only fans would come out All right, this guy's just gonna nunchuck his own ballbag. I don't buy this. Whatever. I mean, there's gotta be everything that's ever been up a- ooh. No, I think we nailed it. I think we found the most original ID in all of pornography. Nunchucks up our asses. Oh, for fuck's sake. What's wrong, Jacob?

What's wrong? It's like, traumatizing. Oh, you'll take a Yellowstone brand on your chest, but you won't take that? Hey, Jacob, if you want to fucking compete in the kumite, these are the things you're going to have to... You have to go out and kick a tree until your shins have no nerves, and you have to take a nunchucks to the ball bag until you don't feel the pain anymore. Jacob, you must see past the pain.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. There you go. No, no the pain. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no. There you go. No, no, no. No, no, no. This is just somebody double teaming themselves

with nunchucks and their pussy and asshole. This is different. I'm saying one up our ass, the other one hanging free, so you can work the nunchucks. I understand what you're saying, but that is very, I mean, she is very creative. No. And I feel bad for her son who has to go to karate class.

Oh my God. Smelly nunchucks. Oh, have you seen my tuna chucks? Yeah, man, what? Yeah, this woman doesn't look like her pussy smells great either. You can't say. I thought I washed that off.

No, there's like milk residue on it. Why is there no paint on the bottom of my nunchucks? Nunchucks and asshole. No? Nothing found? Damn. Yo, we did it. We beat lobster tube.

We fucking beat porn.