The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Crocodile Tears

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

Jay thinks Christine oversells her injuries and points out a particular phone call he got from the super producer as proof. Justin Silver and Ryan Long call in from their heterosexual weekend getaway. Dan and Jay discuss how hard it must be to be a bouncer at a club.

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Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire SXM. Hey, it's Black Lew and welcome to the bonfire's best of the week. Jay thinks Christine oversells injuries she gets and pointed out a particular call he got from the super producer as proof. Listen here. So I go take my morning DUNP. Yeah, dude. Regularity is a key sign of hell.

Regularity is a key sign of hell. Regularity is a key sign of health. Damn, thank you. So I get a phone call from Christine and this is a clear phone call. She goes, Jay, are you in the bathroom? And I was like, yeah, well, and then I hear somebody else talking to her and doing like, there are you okay? Is there you okay? And Christine is trying. Now Christine, honestly, a hang nail will center in the

with fetal position crying in the room for someone. The points that I have a bad anxiety and in my anxiety hits me. If Christine goes, she goes, my throat's a little sore. I just know she gets cries and cries for nonsense. It's nonsense. It's. I had struck thrown and really hurt and I was afraid I had COVID because my tonsils didn't look fucked up. It's insane. Either way, by the way, crying, this is the person who was, I never cried about COVID fears once. But in the beginning of it,

I was like, I check my temperature a lot. I was very worried about making sure I didn't get it, right? Yeah. Worried about having it. Also, I smoke. I'm very worried about making sure I didn't get it, right? Yeah, worried about having it. Also, I smoke. I'm overweight. Just a zillion things, they were like, hey, you're gonna die if you get this. I mean, I openly sobbed for days on end. And it's sitting front of the window, go,

whoo. Whoo. People around can, I thought it was just haunted. Yeah. Take the girl in four days keeping an emo. Oh, it's what if a fucking dry whale in their apartment that they're not wetting? Let that thing. Well, Christine, her new thing now is just a straight up. Let's cry about all of it. It's a full. I love it. Christine. Let's start a cry club. Let's just start

with any time we get upset. All you call you cry. Oh, if I see something on TV, it makes me cry. Let's just fucking have a lady's crisis. I'm sure you'll why can't you be more sympathetic. I go, I'm getting you everything you need while you're sick, whatever you need. I'm like stay off the show if you need. Stay in bed. We'll figure it out. Don't worry about it. I'll go.

You want to come from the store? I get it from none of these things are the problem. She's crying. Then she goes, why aren't you being more sympathetic? And I go, because you're overselling the problem. You're hysterical crying the whole day. And day and like, why won't you be sympathetic because I'm rolling my eyes at you? Like, oh my God, lay down and eat soup.

You didn't. Yeah. Every time I breathe, it's like a new infection. Like poetry, dramatic, like everything she does. She's like, and we didn't carry my pain over a thousand miles to everyone that feels its brisk coolness. It was so over so sad castle sickness where it Jason I like that Jason's in the foot of my bed She's sickness grips me

Damn she would she would take her t-shirt look at the thermometer and melt down What is it? 107 108? She's like, it's normal. Girls, girls, normal. Certain women get very dramatic about colds, about sicknesses. You know, Katie's G, so she just walks through it. Christine sounds like a real dandelion. I had an ex-girlfriend that was like, I was sick and I was completely by my house and she was kind of a dits. And I was on OP and Anthony in the morning and I threw up on the air because they gave me this like cayenne health drink

and I drank it and I immediately ran to the bathroom and I threw up. Sam Roberts like followed me to the bathroom and I threw up the radio. I should throw it right there. What's the bathroom and I threw it right there. What's that? You guys throw it right there. I know, but I was, you know, wasn't playing, I was just like, well, it was just happened

all at once and I was like, what was the shit's going down? I went home and I ended up having like, I was sick. So I ended up throwing up, but later in the day, I like woke up and I was like, I'm still nauseous walk to Dwayne Reed and get a gatorade and get like stuff to help me out you know get like some Pepta or something but I call my girlfriend and she's like you can't leave and I was like what do you mean I can't leave she's like you sick and I was like yeah I'm fine I'm gonna go get gatorade and a pagle from Dunkin Donuts with butter on it and then I'm gonna come home smoke weed and she's like

Joe smoke weed you're on Medicine and now like man, they really are some fucking idiots that just can't get sick Listen, I'm at hyper judging here because But I do feel very least I have I am riddled with anxiety's that I try to fight and Common colds though. No, here's the thing. I get Christi. I'm not common colds when I'm sick, but I'm just sick. I'm sick. I don't have any kind of thing about that at all. Well, let me tell you guys. Good. I was going to say, let me clarify. Christine was strep throat. So that's not like one where you're just kind of like, oh, this like strep throat

can fucking suck. It can feel better. Feel better in two days. Oh, yeah, two days is. Yeah. What Christine, how long did you go? Two days. Day and a half. Yeah. Yeah, I was just fucking like. I mean, yeah, I felt like I'd been poisoned if that makes sense. Like it was just. Jay, I'm back on your side. I really tried sticking up for. God, David, I tried sticking up for. Dan, here's the day. Jay, I'm back on your side. I really tried sticking up for God damn it. I tried sticking up for Dan. Here's the problem.

I know that feeling stripped out. Usually my tonsils right away. I like I just look and I'm like, Oh, it's a mess. And there wasn't anything there the first day. So that night I started, I should have just gone to the doctor. Like when you feel sick like that, you should just go to the doctor, but or I just tried to sleep it off. And then that night I was taking a max sun.

I think I went to the doctor the next day. I was just being a dramatic baby. And I was like, I'm like, I'm sick and I want my mommy and I don't have one. She died Jason. So you have to be like, I'm like, take care of me. Put on a way. I text Rebecca and Michelle and they were like, poor baby. You need somebody to take care of you.

And I was like, I do. I am a poor baby Yeah, I don't know what care of you you taught It's the same what you're saying I just need to take care of me. I took I as far back as I can remember I don't think I've had a more enjoyable sense on this. I was. You taught. I mean.

I took care of you. I just come in and I go, what do you cry? You're running your, what are you crying for? What's going on? You're throwing closing up. We got an epic 10 years. Something with her. And she's like

Jay I honestly, I was like, you know, why don't I take Christine side to make this argument a little more legitimate? And then keep putting your hand on that stuff, Dan. You keep putting your hand on that stove. Did she pull out of it and then I come back in and Christine, were you like, hey, sorry, they got a little dramatic. Nope. Nope. No, she didn't, until she feels better than she's like, I always just being dramatic. Oh, it's a house shut down because you like, I'll be in the room putting my house in order. You're too much. He poured. Yeah. Yeah. It just shows you the difference because Becky, I and I live in together when one of us has gotten sick, we just like viking shut ourselves off with like, I'm so put a rock in front

of my door. If I cannot remove it, I am dead. And then that guy is either back out, he's like, I must eat meats to regain my strength. That's us living together. Jason, is it you? Let me touch your face. Been on a shades lounge while she was in the over like a dive. Oh, the pain, the humanity of it all. Oh, when your score burns worse than my swallows, worse than my saliva. So, she's a cryer.

So now I hear her doing it. She's outside. She's called me on the phone while I'm taking a shit. And she's, she's trying to hold back cry. And what's great about hearing her? Are you like, are you like what, Christine, do you have a headache? What's going on out there? Here is how fake her cry is and why it's hard to sympathize when Christine's crying is because this is what I'm here on the phone

I'm here so you go She's so Smash my foot real bad real bad. I said smash my foot real bad on the street. So I'm picturing a cartoon like flat foot Yeah, I did that have like a piano fell under something Like like in the walk hard with a chatetty fight, she gave the brother thing where she goes, Oh, no, don't look Jay. I'm a foot's real bad. Oh, it's real bad.

So she's probably such a fetal position seen on the street that people in the back right here, not talking to her, and they're going, Oh my God, are you okay? Is everything okay? So here, this is what Christina Ron here, right? She's going, she's like, real bad. And I don't, no, no, no, I just clanked it on the thing. No, I'm gonna be fine. I'll walk it off.

No, no, no, no, please, please, I'm good. You're, no, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, they may have to take it off. I don't know what the doctors can even say. What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, please, please, please, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, I'm good, I'm good. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, no, please, please, please, please, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, I'm good, I'm good.

Man, dude, I wonder how many people walked away rolling their eyes at her hearing her drum butt up on the phone. Wow, that's, honestly, it's almost like I just, I just kicked the side of the curb. It's, it's not even a big deal to do. She's like Jason, were you level one footed woman? She's, she's, she's, you level one footed woman. She didn't love me. She's in flip flops, by the way. And then there's a lady just goes, yeah, you need to get some better shoes. Yeah. That's not what happened. That's what you told me happened with that.

No, I said she, the woman that saw it happened. I whipped my foot just like carelessly walking around the police barricade that's up. So there was like a sharp metal corner and I went my foot around and I smashed it. It was one of those things where I just went down. Do these kick barriers? I just like accidentally kicked the barrier. You keep using this term with your foot around. How do you walk? Are you constantly doing leg sweeps? I was like going to answer phone call and I was like cutting around a police barricade. I must whip it. Yeah. Now whip it. And to shoot.

Yeah. Take your foot. Whip it. Yeah. Whip it straight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah to be a Starbucks. Now whip it. And to cheer you. Take your foot. Whip it good. Whip it straight. To call Jay while he's pooping. You cry because you whipped it. Whipped it good.

Buddy, I'm barely exaggerating when I say it was like, I think the life is going to be different now. I've taken both my feet for granted for all these, what? No, stop it. Get out of here. I'm good. I'm good.

And I can jog on the son of a bitch. Get out of here, you scam. Okay. There's a doctor in Santa Barbara that works on robot feet. And I can look at what. Call my father and tell him I forgive him. I can't get a fake foot and I'm gonna get a putter Sherlock on it like I was a soldier.

She's, well you, Jay, what do you think? Should I go with the basic prosthetic? Should I get the spring legs? See, I was gonna go pastora sit, but I know what I'm gonna do. Do I get the blades? Or do I just get a foot looking thing? Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, this here now do I just get a foot looking thing? No, no, no, no, this here now. I just don't even need a bandaid. This is a little new store.

I just There it is. It's just after six months on that spring. I'm gonna be able to walk around normal. No, hey guy, no, you can move the barrier back. Now I just I kicked it. I'm got it. I'm a rubsom third in it. I'm good. No, I think it looks kind of cool. What's gonna get that bruise looks cool? All right I'm like yeah, I'm like I'm like a home put some ink in it. So scars up look badass. You know what I'm saying? All right later. Hosts. She goes buckles. No calls Jason

Don't look at it. I'm a monster Maybe I'll get a shotgun attached like that a shotgun attached like that. Well, I'm going to get a thing. So I want you to get evil did foot. Did you grind house your leg? Christine was acting like I had to come to her. Like she was like, like being held together by a train that hit her. Like, she's alive because that's holding her in place.

She goes, Jay, when I move the police barrier, all my organs are gonna fly to my ankle. So come stick her by to me, I love you so much. Come hang out with me, one of the police officers here has offered to put me down. Probably when she comes home, she's just like, she's just a little scratch in her bruise. Crackle Crackle, DJ Liu with you.

On Thursday's quarantine lost tapes, the guy speculated that Justin Silver was out on a homosexual date. Then Justin made a Zoom call in to confirm that he was out on a heterosexual date on a boat with his friend Ryan. Enjoy. Is anyone checked? Justin is on what I can only describe right now as a gay retreat. What is it? No, he's not on a gay retreat. I'm joking. He's him and Ryan Long is a very funny comic. Yeah, I think it's coming on the show pretty soon. Yeah, we're supposed to have

going real soon. Two handsome boys. Yes. Going away together to Rhode Island to some farm. They say they're bringing girls, which they might be, because you know, there's no answer story. I'm looking for the answer story. Don't see. If there's no answer story, dude, it's getting gay. It's no answer.

No answer story, dude. There's no girls there whatsoever. By the way, when I talk to us yesterday, said I'm heading up with Ryan to the thing, to the farm. Absolutely didn't say the girls are here, heard Ryan in the background, didn't hear any girls. The girls aren't meeting them there.

I know that's regard they have sure. So I think they might be to farm together. And also why you need, if you do gay shit, you got to do it with a voice guy, so he can do girl voices in the background. So everyone still thinks you're straight. He didn't invite anybody, dude. He didn't invite anybody to this get away. Just nothing. No one else was against me. The dogs and a boy. The dogs and my dog. The dogs and my, we

got to ask Ryan when we come on. We got back to what happened on the farm Ryan. What the fuck happened on the farm? I bet it starts with some light gay fare. Like they go, like they call like slapping their, like no hand, like slapping their dicks against each other. They call it like dog fighting or something. Oh, I thought they were gonna go to the fight. I thought they're, I thought they're going for the last piece of top, topos.

And they start doing the u-ing. No, you win it you eat a dog fight Random dog fight dog fight Your head hit mine three times you win all right you win One two three four I declare a packer war First one of the doc is bottom I'll tell you what is what Justin did. A new kid moves in the town. Right. Well, he's fucking handsome. He plays the drums, which Justin doesn't play the drums,

but he does tell you time signatures. Like, you know what the fucking talking about. Oh, yeah, he'll also do it while you're delicately following GPS. To the other day, I forget where we were. It may have even been a disdain for Joe's, but whatever it was, he turned to me and he goes, Jay, Jay goes, it's in 7-8, man. It's in 7-8. I go. He goes, 7-8 time, dude, that's like crazy.

I don't know, I don't know. Ryan moves the town. He's a drummer that was in successful bands in Canada where he's from. Really? I didn't know that. I didn't know. We're going to ask him about his road stories. Yeah, we got him on the show. He had a whole career like in Canada between that and then also through like videos. Because he's very prolific making videos here. I think you had a TV show in Canada that was like very pop. It was like Jackass style type thing. Canadian Jackass. We're going to give, hey, what's up everybody? Yeah, I think you had a TV show in Canada that was like very pop. It was like jackass style type thing

Um Canadian jackass. We're gonna give hey, what's up everybody? My name is Tom. We're gonna give this lady back her wallet This is me polite welcome to Canadian jackass But he's a good- guy, drummer, everything Justin wants. He needs everything he desires. He's very tall. So they compliment each other in that regard. I'm telling you, together, they're either a two man pussy crushing team. Yeah, or a fun or they are having a standing 69 they're having a standing 69 with Justin's butt up in the air. Oh, Dude that little touch. I've seen it. It's a good touch. I Mean there's it's one of those two things for sure and Just because there's might be chicks there. It doesn't mean anything because they cheer us on Christine could you see if Justin could chime in on the show and give us a update on

Jackson that we're looking for we're looking for a farm update if he's willing to call in yeah, we just want a farm update Say that you guys won't know we say we demand a farm update We demand a farm update and the hop on it could be if he says he didn't bring a computer Even gayer and we know they at least brought one computer so they can record their lovemaking. Yeah, he goes, I just brought my Naga Hyde pad where I bet a dude's on it. We have to fit a pair of skin rug. I could. My sensual items were more necessary. I worry about my salt, my different salts and powders getting it to the computer. So I didn't want to ask it. Guys, if I'm bringing poppers, I don't have room for computers.

Then everybody gets to see Ryan Long as y'all handsome this guy is Jacob. You will love him. The girls are falling over Ryan Long. They want to be, they want him. The men want to be him. It is a hunkfest on that form. Justin's like, you got to see him drum. He got to see him.

Damn, I swear to you, these are things he goes, oh man, Ryan's so funny. He just said, he goes, you know what? I love about him. I feel safe whenever I'm around him. I feel like I can trust him. I laugh with him. I can tell him anything. I can cry with him. We've cried hard. You think I'm in a crying retreat? Yeah. You get it out, then I get it out. You get it out, then I get it out. I'm telling you, everybody else is traveling, during this, like for a little bit of a getaway has been

Pretty like open like at least somebody else is getting invited You know, I mean like a couple people are going this thing. This This seems like two dudes at a lake house if he has this old sailor Just two boys about to kiss that sunset. Yeah, Is it cool if you guys don't see the girls? Because they're not here. Because I made them up. Go there. They're, we'll wait for that call to come in.

While that's going on. He goes, what's a, he goes, well, what's the girl's name? He's like, um, cop, microwave. TV stand, TV TV saying Johnson Yeah, cuz television Floor lamp Justin Silver Couple straight guys on a trip

You got our bells of the ball that gave retreat you're on This is the gate capital, a gate brothel capital of America. That's a relevant. Dude, that's so funny that Ryan just put the Ryan. We had no clue of that and then just, you're not supposed to tell him why we're up here. How in town?

By the way, uh, yeah, they call it a bathhouse lake. Now there's chicks everywhere. You just can't see them. It's a Turkish tornado. I feel like that. I feel like in the background, all I see is other dudes

wearing shorts, shorts lowering their sunglasses. Oh, yeah. There's just a guy had another bone. He goes, I'm swimming for those two. It's like in that 80s movie when the chicks run by on the beach. Oh You guys on oh Man, we got this bad about motor. We got a modified just should be let the record stay So you guys don't even have to paddle

We got a little lowered. Oh, you got a lowered? Are you going to get out? Are you guys getting day drunk? We've been drunk for 48 hours. Got a couple of refreshments. Yeah, it's a good excuse. It's a good excuse for what happened because I thought that wasn't a chick. Maybe I've been drinking a little, maybe with a few poppers while Ryan puts something in his mouth. What we do is what we do. Yeah, well, you got to loosen it up. You don't want to go in there.

If you go in there, anxious, it's going to hurt more. Oh, Justin, I'll be honest with you. You guys crushing white claws is not helping the... Yeah, I do. Also, you guys being on a tandem boat didn't help. That's not the first shot you want to see. When they hit dry land, it turns the four locus. Sorry, we would have called you earlier,

but we were doing oil wrestling and hamster all slick. We said, we said every once in a while, a random just screams out this term dog fight and you guys got to pull out dicks and no hands. Just try to make them. Dog fight. Dog fight. So I got to pull out Dix and no hands, just try to make them so happy. Yeah. Well, I'm birthday, so I got to maintain them by so go also later because someone's getting ice cream. Oh, I'm going to look up where Justin's saying,

I go, do you guys know that they call it little Athens because of all the Greek mythology around there? I think there's a lot of wrestling. Here. Did you guys go up there with pseudonym? So you can do your only page together and make a grippa cash. I'm going as chaz. I'm chaz and this is boy. I got my own thing going his chas and boy Just Justin and Ryan just Justin and Ryan doing side kicks in the morning and underwear. Oh my god

Them doing where Justin Ryan goes are you ready? And he goes, huh? And he puts up and then just and comes his ankles and he does fucking military All resistance to wait. How does this help me train my dog? Yeah Go dude. I got a fucking I got a bass and how and shit all over my carpet. I don't need to watch you and another guy ask Mo kiss Do you want a dog trader who stressed out? I didn't think you did let me do my thing Hey buddy. I don't know if it's you or the white claws, but this fucking sweet potato diet isn't binding them up It's possible to do this session without a new die behind you. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Ryan comes in and they go, they did have great fruit vodka and just a couple. All right. Now separation anxiety is pretty hard to get rid of. That's right. Ryan's the back of the picture drinking orange juice with his dick out and just that's right. Good guy drummer. He goes, he goes, Mrs. Weinstein, you're not looking at me.

The dog's not going to respect you unless you respect him. All the things I actually said, you have to be firm but fair. Marissa, look at me please. There's a swan Ryan. Is that a term in gay culture that I don't know? Are you seeing another man eat another man's shit? It's like calling a guy with a long neck in the gay community. It's a guy with a really swallow cock. There's, oh, there's a second. Over there's a swan. I can tell. He's got a purple bandana hanging out of his shoes.

Oh my god. Look, guys. Troy swanning. There's a swan. There's an otter. I don't know. I know how you guys fucking name on your gayshit like Narnia. You don't know the animals of the community to swam the otter the twink?

Yeah, dude. You know the baby the baby gator we call that one We call that a sticky bottom trout now with that That guy's gonna let you take home something with yourself I just if we were really quiet Can we hear guys in the shore saying looks like the fresh salmon or swimming upstream, huh? Yeah. Kind of stop. We're talking to our friends.

Guys, be quiet. I want to hear if WAM is playing over the heck of the A. If you'd like to bet, laying in bed this morning is Ryan got out of the shower at Justin goes, I put a playlist together for the whole thing. I put together a playlist that's called the arrows. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, we've got the ladies to get back to. Yeah. I put together a playlist called the arrows All right, well, we've got the ladies to get back to yeah, yeah, sure sure

Studio no, we're talking in studio live too What's their names Right Larry We're doing the George last it's they're from they're from shot. Those are women's names that her name is leaf tree Her name's paddle water. Yeah, her name's sunglasses boat A couple of wigs on some locals Well make sure you guys use protection and Ryan. We you on the show very soon. Happy birthday, Ryan. Happy birthday, dude. I love you guys.

Crap. Hey, guys, just to remember, birthday boy gets to call topper bottom. You know that. You know, you know that. And you have to swallow none of the. Let me call you. Let me tell you what they call me, the queen of shibori. I know.

Oh, yeah. The birthday cake, guys, he's going on me. Guys, good luck catching that swan. I know you're fine. He's out. Jacob wasn't on the hot guy. Hang so bad. Jacob's a spark. Jacob's barking at it. He wants to go. I'm so upset. He's so upset. That really was. We can still hear you. Jacob's barking at it he wants to go up set he's so You think they're 69 and it was all

Did he spend so great because God I wanted to kiss you during that whole thing Never-in look at your arms are all shiny kiss me All right, we have to get back to the girls yep That's bad is like guys we got wrapped up somebody got an orgy in a half hour. That's like the old time And it's like my uncle's roommate like that kind of day thing Hey everybody it's biker Lou with you just got back from sturgis On Wednesday show the guys were face- face to face again well within kissing distance And they started this conversation off about bouncers breaking up fights. Here's clip. Yeah, bouncer man

The story bouncer's can tell I'm just eating shit forget the fight stories like you're hired probably cuz you're Can handle yourself and you have to just eat shit when someone goes fuck you and fuck your mama I'm leaving and you have just go You gotta let him leave what I love is Calvin one time this drunk guy at the seller It was just like fucking talking throughout my set. It was like a Friday night, you know and finally he's like billions You know, it's like what what about billions? What do you want to talk about? He's like billions I'm like, yes, it's a show them all do you want me to do it? You want me to do a scene from it? Is that what you want? Yeah, pretty boring. You're like fuck you then I like I made fun of them

I was like fuck you dude You're and then I kept them in the audience and then kick them out or whatever and Cal I saw Calvin and I was like I got him. I got him and I made fun of him whatever and then the next Whoever was I em seeing went on and he kept yelling. So then they kicked him out. And this guy's like, giving Calvin and the whole security staff like a bunch of like, fuck you.

I make so much money on Wall Street. You guys are fucking pussy's. Like, you guys suck. I'm at the table. I'm upstairs at the table about to eat wings. And Calvin, it's winner. And Calvin comes up and goes, yo, Soda, I got that guy outside if you want to fight him

And I was like I just grabbed my jacket and S. He was like no, no, no, no, no I'm not at my jacket and Liz got in front of me. She's like don't go outside. Don't fight that guy. I'm like come on This is getting this great. This is a this guy's a tomato can and S. He was like if you go outside You're not gonna work here anymore. I was like whoo, you know, the Keith is there like you fucking party Bobby goes Hey, you're not gonna do anything Bobby was there like, you fucking b-b-b-b-b, he goes, hey, you not gonna do anything, Bobby was there, he's like, you not gonna fucking do anything, you're all raped up, you're all blotchy, you can't call me blotchy, you're all blotchy, you're blotchy, but that guy, I go outside, this, I think when I was still smoking cigarettes. I mean, I'm just saying a guy who really wants some friction there, Dan, would have been like,

no, I don't want to get in that, I'm just, I'm gonna go to the bay, I'm gonna go to the bay, I'm gonna go to the bay. Yeah, it's not going out. Yeah, you announced it so they would stop it. No, I got my coat and got up. I know, but you made a scene so they would stop you. Yeah, I got stopped. I grabbed his hand and I go, You're my favorite thing is after fact, making people,

I would do that, what I'm fucking about what you're doing. Yeah. Is what I used to do to Calvin all the time. It was so funny. I still do a big daddy of melons here. It's that these are all the bouncers from the door guys from the seller locations. And it's my favorite like whenever someone like goes and like fuck you guys man I'm out of here and and you see those guys going all right man keep moving and I go

Guys like I love you guys so much to go especially because like it's really cool to you guys Are you gonna handle like that because I'm so happy that guy walked away. He would have beat the shit out of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm just like happy that it went the way it's supposed to go. You guys just supposed to get him in a cool the situation down. You're coolers. You're not here to make any friction because that guy probably, I'll be honest, I love both you.

I know you both have families and I want to see you go home though. And that guy had bad intentions. He would have fucked your life. They can't help. After a while, they have to go. It's like, that guy was a pussy, dude. Can you fuck that guy up? I go, no, no, no, no, I don't think so. That's always help after a while they have to go. It's like, it goes a pussy, dude. Can you fuck that guy up?

No, no, no, no, I don't think so. That guy had rage in his eyes and you wouldn't understand. That, I remember, I mean, remember when you were watching the Eagles game and Shane got you with Chris Collins. Yeah, Collins was a tune you up, Jay. Yeah, I mean, Shane got me and Lewis to play mercy on a street. That thing, when I was a kid, my friends would always do it with little bow wow. They'd be like, the little bow wow. He'd talk to the shit up, but I'd be like, dude, that thing when I was a kid my friends would always do it with little bow wow

They like the little Shut up and then after a while you're like guys He's like he's 13 I'd fuck him up. I'm gonna go like by the way like None of you guys really think that I could fuck you that's such that's such a sentence Or you say that I know you goes you goes no, I'm just joking I go these guys always joke with me and say say like better joking with me when they say the Bell well thing and they go no, we're actually we're not joking Yeah, that's such a that's such a thing you bring up while you're playing video games

You know, you have to look at him. You go. I mean seriously. I know you guys are joking and everything like no little power I would fuck you shit up guys But then to get me mad I pissed off about it stupid, but then when you actually do get mad I'm giving them what they want! When you're like, oh fuck you shit up! Yeah, it's like, what are you up, pussy? But that's the best thing to do to the balancer's always, because it's just too late and there's nothing they could do.

And I know they could beat the shit out of my finger. I don't think I actually, I probably would have gone out there and got, you know what I mean? I don't think I would have been able to do that. I have, in in my lifetime for sure Made it a scene knowing that it's not going to happen for sure But if I've wanted to happen I by way you didn't make a scene I am joking you grabbed your coat I don't know if you grab your coat and run. I mean a Look a guy who wanted some fucking guy who wanted some steam

Probably would have left the jacket went out, you put the jacket on to fight, but I'm not gonna make that a whole figure. I honestly might have grabbed the jacket as the, someone get me out of the situation. I should. They're grabbing a jacket, I just realized you're sitting as, let me get less comfortable for this fight. Would have been even better if I came back for the jacket,

where I go, I'm gonna fight him, and then I leave and I come back and I go, I'm gonna grab my jacket. Hey, it's Big J. Algrison, and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th-day PM Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bond Fire at SexM.

This has been a Comedy Central Podcast. This has been a Comedy Central Podcast.