The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Dave Attell In Studio, Ali Siddiq Tells Us Proper Jail Cell Bathroom Etiquette & Ron Bennington & Big Jay Oakerson Talk To Bam Margera In Philly
Episode Date: October 1, 2018With Dan Soder out shooting “Billions” Big Jay welcomed Mike Finoia and Shane Gillis to the studio. Turns out, before for he became a first-rate comic, Shane was a terrific bully in high school.�...�Learn some of his signature moves on this week’s best of The Bonfire... “Hell, Yeah!” Then comedian Ali Siddiq stopped by and talked about his years in prison, schooling everyone on how to pee properly in your cell, the high demand for laminated naked pictures, and how much five “soups” can buy you in the joint. Catch the full interview with Ali and hear more about his incredible time in prison on The Bonfire on demand on the Sirius XM app. If that isn’t enough, the legend Dave Attell was a guest this week and talked about performing at Skankfest in Brooklyn, and how Sebastian Maniscalco is performing four show at Madison Square Garden. Then, Jay talks about bringing his bo staff on stage with him at Mohegan Sun and nobody in the audience knew why. Finally, Jay and Ron Bennington interview Bam Margara in Philadelphia.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Hi, I'm Dan Soder.
I'm Big J. Ocasin.
And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire.
Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week.
You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio.
Serious XM95 or on demand on the Serious XM app.
Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM.
Show favorites, everybody,
sitting with us, Mike Fenoya and Shane Gillis.
Yes, baby.
Yes, let's fucking get it, dude.
Wow, can I say something?
You were making jokes about what butt buddies Shane and Jacob are,
mm-hmm.
Because Jacob really loves being admired.
It's all you have to say.
I'll tell you, you could be the fattest woman in the world.
You wanted to bed down, Jacob.
Really lay some compliments on him.
But I said, Mike Fenoya and Jacob sat there
stoic and I said, and Shane Gill is,
and Jacob did a weird little like clap,
like almost so Mike wouldn't see over the computer.
I'll excuse you, Jacob.
Damn, dude.
Damn.
Fuck them, dude.
It's the bald thing, man.
He's nervous.
But Shane, he said you weren't.
Were you like, oh, you were a bully? I forgot
Yeah, well I would just you know
Call how you got kids gay
Classic bully shit. I feel like that's exactly how you got your 23 year old girlfriend now
Oh for sure you just saw where she goes. I don't know. I'm only 23 and you go, you hate this guy?
Faggot.
She's like, I don't know, I mean.
I guess maybe.
If you want to give me a ride home, I guess.
I guess so.
Yeah, I bullied.
Bullying is fucking sick.
Shout out to all the fucking bullies, dude.
Keep bullying.
Fuck those pussy.
This is not your fault, they can't take a joke.
Kill it, dude.
Well, I did, I used to argue a lot.
When they hit all those anti-bullying campaigns.
He lost you so much.
He lost you so much.
And I got the shit kicked out of me by bullies.
Yeah, but now you're flung with the bullies.
Yeah.
Now you got one.
That's so beautiful.
Hey, got one on your side.
I love it.
Next time he coughs, I'll give him a fucking swirly.
Yeah, swirly.
There you go, bad friend.
That is, I used to argue a lot when all the anti-bullying campaign, Mike used to go
Shuck and drive at school, it's telling that story.
Yeah, we bullied each other just like sports and shit.
We did a lot of hate-sac-
No, but I got bullied a little bit.
I'm sure I bullied somebody in my life, but my thing is, I think, and I'm not saying you should be a bully,
I'd be mortified if my kid was the bully and something or whatever, you know?
Yeah.
And I never intentionally went out to bully someone with that mindset,
but I think there's a place in the ecosystem for bully.
I think it teaches you something.
Absolutely.
Like when I stuck up to somebody who I was nervous, that was coming at me,
when I stuck up to somebody for myself was nervous that was coming at me when I stuck up to somebody for myself
But that was like that's a thing Jacob you remember remember you fucking gave a two-piece to that fucking guy at the restaurant
Yeah, it changes the whole terms world around fucking beat up a dude the guy freaked out after he saw blood and what's best is
Jacob told him he goes in five hours when we're off the shift. I'm gonna fuck you up
It's great. They completed your shift. Yeah
See after shift. Oh my god. Hey, man. Can you cover my fucking table? I'm gonna go for a smoke
Where was where and when was this?
The most neutral place when did you graduate Shane?
High school high school 2006. Oh wow, okay
You get bummed out now. You know he's so young. Well, no, I just think I graduated like almost 10 years before that I was thinking about bullying I graduate
We just before that you got you were pretty combined so bullying was cool people still respected a good bullying
Yeah, but if you were a piece of shit about it,
other people would bully him.
Yeah, of course.
I didn't actually bully.
I wasn't fucking with kids that actually had to.
No, shit talk.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah.
Like, the ball busting.
Yes.
But that is bullying now.
That is.
For sure, it's called bullying.
We used to ball bust all the time, but we did have that.
We said my friend Benji had a rough go.
First of all, his name was Benji. Ginger kid, heavy set. Oh, I would have been all over that. We said my friend, uh, my friend Benji had a rough go. First of all, his name was Benji. Mm-hmm. Change your kid. Heavy set. Uh, I would have been all over that.
Uh, short. Rough go. A bit of a rough go as far as that goes. And we'd bust his balls as
much as anybody. But if somebody like externally came at him a little bit, you got to go,
like, why? That's our guy. You got to be nice to Benji first before you bust his ball.
You know, I mean, like, you have to be cool with them before you can shit on them like
that.
We had a kid on our football team Carlos that never played and he was the,
he was fucking would pick on everybody smaller and younger in school.
And one time he like nailed a kid's jacket to the wood shop table.
And the kid was just so small and sad and he had nothing.
He couldn't do anything about it.
So the rest of us went and fucking nailed Carlos's shit to the wood shop table and what the fuck you gonna do. Yeah. And then we flew away.
vigilante Amiga. The low risk vigilante man. I didn't like what people got picked on
because they were little. That's all I got. I got in the face of what was a Tom
Carter, Tom Van Horn and some other fucking old comic strip comic. When I was
young and went there, they took I didn't know the middle
These are having spoken words to these guys really anywhere yet and they took my wallet chain thing off and clipped it to like
You know the rope the velvet rope thing and it didn't nothing happened
Yeah, cuz I just felt it happening so my turn around just looked and unhooked it
So I didn't like pull anything down, but I just like immediately something like that like I went to them
So and I'm not a computational person, but that was already I was like you're trying to make a link an asshole
They were hoping I'd walk away and yank the thing down and I got three old men's face. Yeah those dudes two of all fucking by the way
Funny to call them old men now. I was probably 23 and they were my age now
He's old dudes now like I wish one of these 23 old combs would say something. I'll drop his ass
That's so fucking weird. Tom Carter being a bully.
And it wasn't any of those.
It was just the poodles on America's Got Talent.
Could you imagine? That was right. Second place to poodles.
Jamie lost the poodles.
Poodles are good show dogs though.
Yeah.
If I'm going to Vegas, I want to see poodles over Tom Carter for sure.
Damn, they were, the poodles were in clothes and dancing.
Yeah.
One more fucking tough act to follow.
Yeah, what are you gonna do?
Tilt jokes after that?
Like an asshole?
Cater got fucking buried by these dogs.
That's the fucking bummer.
And Cater, they say that night flawless.
It would suck to have the best set of your life.
It'd be like, damn, I definitely got through.
They're like, up next, poodles.
Oh my God.
Mike Fino, I think you guys met before
Mike, you're the best guy on the team.
Everybody joining the bonfire.
I'll always to deek everybody.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
Good to see you, pal.
What we were talking about very briefly was that,
I know Mike for sure, and we all are to a degree,
but I know you like very much 90s alternate rock.
Yes, that is like your thing.
And I would wonder where you fell on that.
I bet you would know a lot more songs of 90s contemporary rock than anyone would think
you'd know.
I probably do, but you don't have to excuse me after it's a little stent in that little
60s, stent in the 90s.
I would carcerate it.
Well, don't ask me like anything.
No biggie. Even with hip hop, he was like, did don't ask me like anything No, but
Even with hip hop people like did you see park I was locked up. I didn't see nothing
That's why
That's why you could have been you could have been locked up for the entire trajectory of east coast west coast
At least there's no east coast west coast problems and you come out and he goes still the same no problems
Serious got solved I guess they solved the solved the wall was away. Do you feel?
Anger at all that if you were in prison now I bet there's internet and all kinds of shit that like you would have just made the days go by so much quicker
I wonder about that just doing nine shit. What do you know in 90s?
Like hoping someone sends you a VHS of blossom reruns?
VHS of Blossom reruns. He ain't got no VHS in front of him.
This is a very nice prison.
It's the Mike and Sinyu VHS.
I see some of them have cable TV and the guys complain if it's out.
On lock up raw, you've seen that, yeah, complaining.
See if you can find the guy complaining about his cable and jail being out.
And he's bitching to go, we're trying to get the cable fixed, sir.
The guy said he can't come to the morning, he goes, well, then I'm going to keep throwing shit on my walls
until the morning.
What about Nirvana?
Right.
Gene Spear was all of that on to me, and I think it's really high
to the public's point of that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was, like, that was the group.
Big crossover, Red Houchy Puppers.
They had that kind of reggae and funk.
Tons of funk.
The early stuff.
George Clinton produced a bunch of their early shit.
I have several stories of George Clinton, which is my favorite person to talk about.
Because George Clinton, he was the friend of this girl's mom for a long time that I was
dating.
And she's telling me, say, you know,
George coming over house.
I was like, look, I've been dating this girl for two years.
George's never been over here.
You told me you was wanting to funk a tear dance
with everything.
So I'm waiting at the house and I ain't
not falling asleep.
So my normal path to go out is coming on steps.
I go through the kitchen because the kitchen has a garage
Go out. I'm coming down and the light is on in the kitchen
I'm like the light no man. I don't know kitchen. I just go out in the dark and
George Clinton is literally sitting at table
with crack and
His goods on he playing riffs and
He's like I'm walking out. He's like
Oh man, I want you here something
He playing because he's doing scoff face out at the time. He's producing stuff for scoff face out
So he's playing all these riffs and he just smoking crack and I'm just you know
I saw Chris I'm just trying not to get the smoke blowing in my face
I was like and then my mom say yo and my mom's gonna sit here and listen to George Clinton play guitar riffs and smoke crack cuz how many people
Had this story
man just sit there and when he's every time he see me like y'all still
You ain't telling nobody about the crack I've been with I cut his half. Dude, George Clinton smoking crack in the kitchen
is incredible.
That is crazy.
That's great.
Yeah, George Clinton, that's my man.
Watch it.
I didn't know that he could have a eight ball in here.
He did so much dope coming up with Parliament.
He needed drugs and now he cleaned.
Actually, just got totally off everything.
Man, he's that told out everything.
What was it in the kitchen
I think it was a booty Collins intervention
Can you dig what part of the country were you in?
incarcerated Texas Texas
Yeah, Texas is is so this is the bad thing about Texas presence people don't know how bad they are because if you notice everybody's been
Allow to film things in the prison besides say Texas really how yeah, they like they like no
No, let let everyone else think they're the worst prison. Huh, go ahead be on lock up and tell your little little stories Texas like no
I assume it's bad because it's scary black people,
the scariest of white people.
And then all the scary is Mexicans.
There's no way, there's no way to skip it.
It's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,
it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like The war you can run what you got going on but if not you can't run the prison.
When people say that on movies,
we run this prison.
They say, you know,
that's all I mean in my every movie,
I hit it and I'm like, yeah, right.
Because if they say,
you're gonna run this prison to go lights out
and he goes, I gotta turn the lights off, but.
Just you know, tomorrow when I wake up,
I expect my breakfast ready
Do you ever sell me at one at one point I did then
He couldn't
With which this is I know this story going sound awful. It's gonna sound awful and don't take it like that
Okay, I didn't like people to stand up in the room and use restroom.
Cause I hate that sound. It nothing about I'm trying to punk you or nothing like that.
I hated the sound of water going into other water. And we both in here. So, hey man,
just go and sit down. It's just us. Just sit down. Use your restroom.
This guy, and I'm not gonna say his nationality because I wanted to be seen like a racial thing.
He couldn't do it. He couldn't do it. And he would you, he would leave urine on the floor
and and around the steel of the toilet. And in prison, you'll toilet in your floor being clean
is a big deal. And I just told him, I say, hey man, if I come back in here, you'll told it in your floor being clean as a big deal. And I just told him, I say, Hey, man, if I come back and
you got pee on this floor and then talking, you don't have to move voluntary involuntarily.
And he, um, he moved voluntarily.
Yeah.
I like to, I like to, you left it.
Yeah.
The decision goes, because I do like piston, like big decision goes. I do like piss standing up.
I do.
Yeah.
He's like, I like Ali.
It's a good hang, but I do enjoy pissing things.
You could see how I can take it.
You could see that if you didn't explain it out that way, that he would take that as,
oh, you think, um, you want me to pee sitting down?
You could see how he could take a mask you didn't explain it out.
Yeah, you mask you later.
Yeah, I wanted him.
I told him I didn't want to be on the floor.
Were you able to like hang posters and shit?
Were you able to kind of like, you know, they come.
Like how do you get, like you could just pull shit
out of a magazine and like,
No, let me tell you that,
so that's a, that's a thing.
A picture of, you could be a pimp in prison with pictures.
Like my man used to sell pictures. Like he had, they had to be laminated.
Yeah, laminated. Somebody had to be laminated. Pictures of some hot chicks from the world.
And he's used to tickling me. I didn't know what he was doing.
You know, I got to go, like he had to be like, you know, I got to talk to Jay.
Jay owe me five soups. He got my broad name brought a bag
Five you like broad
That's like the dollar 25 you know unbelievable great sentence
You didn't read it abroad
Day be kind row
You You ready to picture for five soups? And you just said that would have been on your mouth.
Or you in the shower, you in the shower with it.
That's why I lubricated it.
You in the shower, you'll see a dude written,
you're like, yo man, you know I got the Puerto Rican.
You like, wow.
Were they like, porno pictures?
No, it was like real chicks from the world.
Like it'd be a hot chick.
Just a picture of a girl from the world.
Just cut out like a hot chick from the world.
Like you sent your man like a girl.
And you like.
But not naked even.
Yeah, she's naked.
She's growled out.
Wreck your little pictures.
Yeah, she's.
Yeah, it's the best.
That's the still the point I watch now
is I watch all the homemade shit.
She's Brad Eagle.
Yeah, wow.
Is she laminated?
Yeah, so it doesn't matter if you get a waterproof,
if you miss fire, it's an easy wipe down.
It's a rip, it's a rip.
You can use your shittin' towel.
It's a look that you did.
Holy shit.
Look on her face.
Yeah, the face always says,
you're not gonna show anybody, right?
Yeah.
Now, this is making it swear right now.
This was definitely, this was definitely becausees that he has somebody sending him yeah that was for the purpose of him being able to
Survive and yeah, what about poems?
Oh, that's that much super sonic
It's some do want to write up on to his girl. Oh, yeah girl go straight. He no good writer. Oh, yeah
Yo, Troy, you know good writer. All year.
That's what I would be.
Give me a joke, that's the real thing.
Give me two envelopes, man, I'll write you something.
That's fucking great.
Yeah, it's like, this is the coffee.
So anything that you can buy is, it's like the body system.
Now, you want some idea?
That's like a couple bags of coffee.
Oh, that's a crazy.
Check the big sentence I've read about. That's a big thing. No, Larry, Steve, tell joins us. How are you guys? I know I'm into promote the gigs, but I'm also in here to thanks again for the skankfest
for being on that.
It was fantastic.
You know what I felt like, and I think what I felt like.
Have you guys ever gone to the Intrepid Museum?
They have old sailors that walk around and tell kids like,
this is my bunk, I used to sleep here.
Every other Sunday we get steak and lobster.
So I felt like this old comic was walking around like,
ask me a question, make me feel relevant.
How like do the show go in the city?
Did you really do this for a living?
Yes, this's all we did
There's no internet then
Well had you promote flyers
It was in Brooklyn this time. It wasn't at the Creek in the cave
Location the Creek in the game. What's the location?
Skankfest this year. Oh, no, yeah, we moved to
Yeah, it was very cool. Yeah, very very cool venue. It was
I'm gonna say, I was very happy for you guys, the amount of people that showed up,
all those comedy fans and just like,
not a thousand people, it was crazy.
And you know, we did live bonfire from there.
When shows were you on, you did the big,
one of the big shows in the big room.
I did the show where everyone smells like they walked there.
Yeah.
Man, those shows started at about 3 p.m.
It was indoors, but it smelled like an outdoor five day fire.
It was my inside burning man.
There's a guy rocking his buddy's foot like a sap.
I got bit by a snake.
Me and Dan are having a blast thinking of our post comedy specials.
How you gonna do it?
Dan's my favorite was skydiving.
While holding your mom's hand
and doing the comedy just to her.
I want to do mine as a burning my comedy notebook.
At gunpoint.
I'm gonna do mine.
I'm gonna do mine.
All my inappropriate humor.
Just throwing it in a good cry.
Half cry. Here's one where I said in a good cry. Half cry.
Here's one where I said,
a midget for that in there.
Hey, Jay, let me ask a question now,
because we all worked on the road together.
You guys all open for me and everything.
I'm old and everything.
But when you finally started making some money,
what was the first thing that you did
that you didn't have to do, like a bills and all that stuff?
Like what was the first, you bought a TV?
Big TVs, yeah, I got to see you.
I got a big TV for all three rooms in my apartment.
Really?
Yeah, that's cool.
That was the one thing.
Pretty much everything else I have to spend on everybody else.
Okay, that's cool.
I think that's a good one.
I'm 100% overhead.
And very little.
Yeah.
Mike Vicki owns a new album,
the worst kind of thoughtful on iTunes.
Now, Jay, you probably don't know this,
but Mike and I, when Mike brought me into probably the most
Fun part of the process the naming of the CD. Oh, yeah
Yeah, he came up with a couple of great one after the world my favorite one is
real news fake career
That is unbelievable
I wanted to call it that's over. Yeah, But remember we were trying to go with the Italian thing
because Sebastian is the biggest act,
so we were trying to like Italian it up.
Oh, I was trying to do, I was gonna call it Sebastian.
Can't make all the money, can he?
He'd be everywhere.
Blue, I know he's your main job and love
and passion is working for a Pete and Sebastian.
That's what she can tell us me every day.
Everybody's got a side gig.
Pete, you produce that.
They show you no respect or love the way we do,
but I know that's your bread and butter.
Pins Sebastian, am I crazy that Sebastian's
doing four nights at the garden?
Yeah, it's all at the garden.
The main arena.
No.
I think Maine.
Exactly.
That's fucking it.
You couldn't pull in a favor and get him in here
for like 10 minutes just to give it it like a sauce like a sauce recipe.
I just like that.
I do an impression of it.
This is my baja, gooo.
This is how I do the giga, gooo.
He might have, I think Sebastian's great.
I think he might have had us, uh, for my impression of him.
I think so.
How do you be flattered?
I saw Hayes and Netflix special and it killed.
It was great.
And that crowd there, the one in Chicago, they really like you could like, like did some specials where you like does the audience even know who they're watching?
They knew who they were watching. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, he was so Chicago specific to goes the parking here
Where do these people bar?
Standing out I love it. I go watching for three hours. It really does make me happy. Tell me he sold out four shows
Just tell it to me and I'll give you the Italian reaction. Yeah, you know, Sebastian sort of four shows the guard
That's a lot of big Z
That's a lot of meatballs
Wait, let me ask Mike and I laugh at that
I'm gonna tweet my story.
That's great.
Other victims of Italian shaming.
Italian shaming.
Somebody seats is the garden.
That's what I want to know.
And we looked at, I think, like 27,000
for the concert.
That's like when you play the
Bergata, but you're playing that little tiny room.
I'm playing the Bergata, everyone.
You know, it's like by the gift shop, you know, that area.
You know, like with a staff gets a, a shift meal,
I'm playing like that area.
You were in Connecticut.
Well, he can son.
Well, he can son.
Woo, woo, woo.
So fine, then I had to leave right after the show.
We were going back to New York.
So I had to go right after the show on Saturday.
It was by far and wide.
Most fans at any show.
I did, the crowds were definitely sort of light, but the clubs fought at all.
It's the thing is, it is what it is.
It's Malik and Son.
Yeah.
It's a casino, sort of a destination.
I also happened to do Rhode Island three weeks ago.
Yeah.
Two weeks ago, I did Boston with Legion of Skanks, so it's just like, I've been in the area
a lot, you know, cost money to come to these shows
You're a regular Bob Marley. Yeah, I'm really making my way through that new England. New England.
Can you know England?
But not thinking when I made
The joke on air last week I go I'll start bringing the bow staff with me
People will take pictures with it. Yeah. I was sort of joking people say bring it
I was like, oh yeah, I'll bring it and then I left without it that night Well, we were downstairs and it religionily was sort of joking, people were saying bring it. I was like, oh yeah, yeah, I'll bring it. And then I left without it that night.
Well, we were downstairs and it religionially
was one of those things where you go.
And Christine goes, I left the staff upstairs
and was like, I think I'm not gonna bring the staff.
No one gives a shit or anything.
No one gives a shit.
Then that night I go home.
Yeah.
And I'm looking at Twitter, there's a bunch of people going,
oh man, I'm actually thinking about making the drive now.
But I just saw you in Boston,
thinking about making the three hour drive.
I want to take a picture with the boast staff dude, you in the boast staff.
Dude, you're gonna be your thing.
God damn it.
I can't wait for the day where you're doing theaters and airline loses the boast staff.
I'm sorry, but I'm sorry.
But on the flight to London, you go, I cannot work with royal Albert Hall without the boast staff.
You want me to go outside to the O2 arena
and tell them I have no bow staff?
I'm sorry.
I can get you another bow staff, they'll know.
They'll know.
The noise picks me up.
Yeah, to go.
I go, hey man, would you mind if we weave
through the city we'll go up the west side
but swing by DJ Lewis, it'll bring out the bow staff for me.
And we'll grab it on the way, I'll bring it
because everyone online was saying they'd wanted
to take a picture with the bow staff. And you have security for the whole weekend. It'd be psyched for the bow staff for me and we'll grab it on the way. I'll bring it because everyone online was saying they'd want to take a picture with the bow staff and you have security for the whole weekend.
Maybe psyched for the bow staff.
We go by.
I pick it up from Lou.
Lou brings it down for me.
Police escort.
We drive up.
Yeah.
Get to the hotel.
I got a walk in check in behind Chaz, Palm and Terry.
It's pretty awesome.
Yeah.
If I wasn't holding a bow staff and wasn't saying behind Mike Fenoya who went
Mr. Palmentary we are work
We are workmates or so he gave some bad thing with a friend of yours Chris the staff and now it was awkward
He knows it was awkward. Workmates. Workmates something like that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, Chris.
Yeah.
Oh, see?
Oh, Chris, yeah.
He's a good kid that kid.
Oh, he's a good for blue.
I check in with the bow staff.
Hell yeah, you do.
I go up and check in my room with the bow staff.
You never check out.
Woo, woo, woo, woo.
Woo, woo, woo.
I go to the radio right away.
With the bow staff.
No, damn it.
Put up my room.
But then go up, take a shower, get ready for the show.
Shower with the bow staff.
Have to go down.
Oh, I have to go down. Walk through the show shower with the boss have to go down have to go down
Walk through the entire place with the boss staff
To get to the show if now when I get to the show in my head
I'm of course gonna leave the boss staff in the green room all weekend. Uh, take them when I leave
But I gotta get it there. I get it into the green room meet the host host goes on my goes on
I hear him, you know, when they
say my name and the woman introduces me, he says, all right, he's from Bonfire, Legion
of Skanks, everybody. Big J. O'Coursen, moderate, applaud, everyone applaud, but moderate, do
I feel like this is my audience and I've already come through the curtain holding a
boast. Now I want to explain you in my head what was going to happen. Yeah, you're going to go out there. The place was going to light up.
Go lose their goddamn minds.
Jamie did Boston.
Yeah.
Legion of Skanks.
Yeah.
And Lewis brought out hate speech to the bear.
Yeah.
He held it up in the air like Simba.
It almost got a standing ovation.
Yeah.
I was like the staff's going to get that kind of electricity.
Buddy, do you now loud when the claps that were just
moderate because it was mostly not my fans stop
and i haven't put the staff down yet do you know the sound
of trying to non-genallly drop this thing onto a stage it's something i dropped rebar from a hundred floor
ruf
i just resonates and then no one asked why i had it. No one acknowledged why I had it. No one seemed interested.
Why didn't you take a picture with it? Yeah, do you look like an oracle? I look like an asshole. You're pronouncing it wrong.
It's uh, I did not look cool and then the second day for the one show on Friday I did. I go again, they go, you guys ready for Big J.
Ocarson? And you hear like not a ton of applause. Love like people being psyched just
like again, the pleasant like sure whoever the headline race. Yeah, we're here for comedy.
And I grab that staff again. I go, here we go again, because this I go, now we're Friday.
Now we're getting the nights. The fans are going to come to a casino, not just casino
people. Yeah. The fans are coming first night is mostly
I had a decent sized audience because blink 1802 canceled last minute
So I blink 1802 spill over shot that up to fucking mark hoppest and Tom to long no Tom long
I already got on a Travis Barker got blood clots in his arms. Oh, no, so they had to they couldn't play Jesus
Yeah, yeah. So I
Go out with the staff again now my time this face
that I have on
This time going through a curtain isn't that of hope anymore now. It's like I'm gonna feel gonna answer all again
And sure enough, Dan. I did good. I feel like an asshole again
No one again gave a shitter acknowledged it that second time I even think I gave a little bit of like a
Yeah, like I raised it a little bit of like a yeah
Like I raised it a little bit with like a the thing and the thing from the show and and like people looking like
Couldn't guess why he's holding that thing you don't have them once again a crushing
As it hits the floor. I love that there's one person in the audience
That doesn't know you
That sees you walk out with the staff and gets excited
for the staff because they're like, well he's going to do some of that staff. He brought
it out. So the whole time you're doing your act, like, when's he going to go for the staff?
And then you say, good night. And they're like, is it like an encore thing? Does he come
out and twirl it? And then you just, he need that to walk.
Yeah. Is it is a staff necessary? I'm trying to think of the inner monologue I would have
if I was going to see a guy I've never seen before. And he came out with a staff, I'd
be like, well, surely the staff is part of the intermodal long I would have if I was going to see a guy I've never seen before and he came out with a staff I'd be like well surely the staff is part of the act.
Like it's just shit is over size book.
And after the show Thursday, I stayed, I drank, I sang karaoke, me and Fenoi hung out
for hours after the show.
Just bullshit is having drinks and smoking butts and stuff.
And I met everybody at the show, even fans,
no one even asked why I brought the Boast Airphone stage.
Until Saturday night, when I made a decision,
I'm not walking out with the Boast Airphone.
It's in the green room because I'm leaving with it.
And right before the second show,
the last show of the weekend,
a guy saw me out in the hallway and he goes,
Big J, what's up? I felt terrible because it was the show I'd leave when most of the weekend. A guy saw me out in the hallway and he goes, big J with something. I felt terrible because it was the show I
believed when the fans were. It's got this big J with up because
you're going on soon, man, I can't wait. You bring the staff, I
go, you know, I did. And then didn't bring it out again and left
from the back hatch door after the show. But good news is you busted
up in that back hatch door with the staff. When I went outside,
did I was butterfly swinging this thing all over the place.
I almost vaulted to Mike's car.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
I was embarrassed beyond belief walking out and knowing technology and then just having
to drop it on the ground that thunderous and then pick it up on the way off stage.
You will get that love that you desired because the next live show, you and Christine
are gonna do a tandem display.
You're right by the way, we do a live bonfire show.
You're gonna bring both of us.
They have us gonna get crazy wrist-packs.
But you and Christina, I like doing this.
Do your couples tandem, both staff, you and fly girl.
Yeah, don't section off a whole segment for it.
It's gonna be quick, dude.
I light her up, she's no good.
Oh no, you guys want to fight
No casino living in general for the weekend even is
Tough man. It's just you see the same shit over and over again. Mm-hmm. It's sort of a bummer of a place to bummer me. There's so many
Especially walking around during the day just fat
Sad people yeah dwelling around this thing,
just getting like the cards, they have the players cards all connected to their shirts,
and it's just a very weird lifestyle.
It doesn't seem vacationated at all.
If you don't smoke cigarettes, you're gonna die.
From being there. Yeah, I forgot how thick of the smoke. I used to smoke. I hate it. vacation or anything all if you don't smoke cigarettes you're gonna die
Yeah, I forgot how thick of the smoke I used to smoke I hate it. It makes why go downstairs? I get my eyes foggy. Yeah, I like what's happening and I'm going to smoke and I hate it
Do you like smoking inside you don't like smoking inside though, buddy? I like smoking inside when I'm smoking inside
Yeah, I don't like living in a world of smoking inside
You turn the
corner and you're like, eh. They don't even, there's so many areas that I walked right through
smoking that says you can't smoke here. No one cares. No one cares. No one gives a shit
through the security walk right by you. They don't give a fuck. No, it's just casino life,
man. Living that casino life. It's does not, it does
not seem right. Like a grilled chicken from Chick-fil-A in a casino. The whole thing, it was,
it was weird. The whole thing was weird. Starting to sound like a Tom Waitsong. Shit, all
the gettin' grilled, jiggin' in. Crazy stuff.
Crazy stuff. Oh, like casino life. Casino life. Casino life. I saw a cowboy with a nose bleed. Hell yeah. I mean, this really is becoming fucking song thereaii. I saw a cowboy with a nose bleed. Hell yeah!
I mean, this really is becoming fucking song there, yeah.
I saw a cowboy with a nose bleed.
And a woman on a scooter.
Everybody, here's a clip of me and Ron Bennington
having some fun in Philadelphia on a little road trip
we took together.
Big Jail kiss and Ron Bennington.
We are joined out by our guest, everybody.
What intro's he need especially in this fucking town? How about it for Bam Marjaro?
Bam Marjaro!
What's the most hurt you ever got making one of the like the most? I mean it looked like
the the dick farm on your butt. Well that was painful but um is what happened was you
know they branded the dick on my ass, which
was like, I kept jumping, so now I have a hologram dick.
But it's like, you know, eight, eight of them.
But I decided to wear the same pants for ten days straight, which gave me a fucking
staff infection.
And that hurt worse than the actual brand.
It was like screaming at my mom to take me to the hospital and it was bad news.
It was so posthien-infected.
Do you have to talk to an agent that you're wearing the same pants for 10 days and Steve O's walking on money because I think you guys were equal parts pretty
big in those films.
That's what was so strange about the first time I went to rehab, which I was forced to
go to, and I'm listening to the lady give the speech, and she's trying to tell me that
she's like, there's nothing good they could come from alcohol. Everything bad
happened. I'm like tell that to the threesome I had last night. Tell that to me doing all this.
Any time I do any jackass stunts, you know, I usually like will do a shot at crime back
then, you know, like it would make it would give me like beer mussels. So it's actually
fueled three super successful films
in a TV show.
Yes, to tell that to the two Lamborghinis
in my driveway bitch.
That's probably not the speech they were looking for
at that meeting.
Bam.
You know, would you like to speak?
Yeah.
You know the exactly bottom amount
when you have two Lamborghinis in the driveway.
You know what I mean?
That's not your bottom yet.
You know, I gotta go for a while after that.
And that's what was so hard like how do you know,
you could tell when friends hit rock bottom,
like my best friend Novak,
he, his rock bottom,
was everybody,
like just, he kept calling everybody up
and he was on heroin, everybody knew this
and his mom was the last person to let him in his house
and he shit his mom's couch on Mother's Day
with a needle in his arm, tried to claim he had food poisoning
but he forgot that the needle was still in his arms.
So like, oh, I shake your cash, mom.
Sorry, it's Mother's Day.
I must have had food poisoning.
Well, the needle is still in your, it's from that.
Then he got kicked out of her house,
and that's when he hit rock bottom.
That was rock bottom.
I actually met Novak not two to a couple of years ago,
and it seemed like a good guy.
I think he had it together at that point.
Well, once again, he's four years over now and it's insane because he was probably worse
than Steve O. But I mean, the stories that he has so, we, we're the Baltimore Orioles Stadium,
and there's this big concert happening,
and he's kicking game to some girl,
and he goes, you know what,
let's just find a discrete location to go fuck,
and she's like, all right, let's go do that.
His idea of a discrete location was the nosebleed section
of the bleachers, the whole stadium could just look like this and see this.
So now the security guard sees it and he's like, you better knock that off right now.
He's like, dude, shut the fuck up.
I'm going to come in 10 seconds.
And then as soon as he grabs him, he's like, you know, he pulls them off and comes all
in for a song.
And he's like, I told you, motherfucker, 10 seconds.
That is not rock bottom.
No.
That's a good Tuesday.
That's a fun Tuesday right there.
If you could still come, no, it's not rock bottom.
Hey, it's Big J. Algracen, and I hope you enjoyed this week's
Best of the Bond Fire.
You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday
from 6th to 8 p.m. Eastern on Comedy Central Radio,
Series XM 95, or on demand on the Series XMF.
Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bond Fire at
SexM.
The Series XM Comedy Central Radio show, you up with Nikki
Glazer is now a podcast.
Join me, Nikki Glazer, and my best friend Tom Tacar as we overshare stuff about our
personal lives.
We get perspective on dating and sex.
And make fun of whatever or whoever else deserves it.
Check out some of the latest episodes featuring great interviews with Tracy Morgan, Amy Schumer,
Amber Tamplin, and more.
Subscribe now to you up with Nikki Glazer on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Shumur, Amber Tamplin, and more.