The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Detective Ice-T with Justin Silver

Episode Date: January 15, 2025

Jay declares that he has a beautiful member and both Justin Silver and Christine confirm it. Hulk Hogan gets booed on his appearance on Netflix's first Monday Night RAW. Actor Ice-T gets pulled over on his way to the DMV with an unregistered vehicle. Jay and Bobby do their best Ice-T impressions when reenacting the crime. Sly Stallone should have made more money in his career. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly I went through Stallone's paychecks over the years Not as much as you'd think for Rockies. I mean, I guess he must have maybe a back end. But his salary for a lot of his movies weren't a lot. He made a lot of money with like, he never made like that Jim Carrey 20 million a pick. No.

You know, he never made that money. Like in Rambo still? No? No. Rambo he didn't make. him carry 20 million to pick or no you know I never made that money like in Rambo still no no Rambo we didn't make I'd say like he's probably he was probably 10 million 10 mil guy Koberman he made money which is weird it's like like seven I guess when you pick okay I'm popular the next movie does good but then he did I remember though he... Also, you gotta remember though, he got $7 million. Let's see. $15 million for Expendables 3. $75,000 for that. Yeah, but which...

But 10 points that got him $2.5 million. Expendables though, you think he would make like $100 million. That movie made what? $300 million or something? $375 million? What did? Expendables 1. Expendables 1.

Yeah, but there's so many of... No, it's 3. But there's so many... look, almost a million, two, seven, three quarters of a million dollars per episode. For what? And then for Tulsa King, and then one and a half million per episode, season two, that's good.

But here's the thing, some of these things, you have to go look at the times he did them, because you know when Rambo 1 came out, if he got like seven million dollars for Rambo, that's like a lot. Weren't him Schwarzenegger neck-and-neck for like I think paycheck and also I think Schwarzenegger passed him at some point. He did. Yeah, he was actually getting like he was becoming a 20 million dollars He was becoming 20 million dollar plus guy I always thought Stallone made 20 million a pick or and he had like, you know back end like, you know

Tom Cruise, you know, back end, like, you know, Tom Cruise, or, you know. But he really, he made money, that, again, I remember, like, if he got seven million for Rambo, that was time it's seven million dollars, you could buy fucking, you'd have like a palatial estate in Beverly Hills for seven million dollars.

I mean, look at, look how much money he was making. Now that's like 20 million dollars, probably, right? He was making 20, Schwarzenegger was making 20 to 30 million a film. Yeah. But at the, I'm saying, at the same time that he was making seven. I thought that if you watch that documentary Stallone they talk about how they were like neck and neck like right until they were neck and neck as far as popularity I don't have a way bigger car. What part of your cock is the neck?

Shaft got it. Look at the jump from Terminator 1 to Terminator. Oh, you you know what, Justin, that is a good question, and I'm digging deeper into it than I thought I would. Actually, probably the area where my circumcision starts, where it starts being where foreskin would be, that soft meat right there. I call that the turtleneck. The neck. The neck. The neck of the cock.

So then the body would be below that. that you share to the air stroke it for me Sorry, so then this is your body if you could go back to uncircumcised would you know no? I have a beautiful penis smell you have a beautiful penis Aesthetically looking at a piece is looking at a penis sure yeah beautiful. I don't know might be the wrong word Christine you're the only person who's seen my penis. No,'re the only person that's ever seen my penis. That's not true. We've all seen it. That's not true. The world's seen it.

You haven't seen it all done. I mean like picture time. I've seen it. I've seen it in its glory. I've seen it wet. I've seen it wet. You haven't seen it like I've seen it. I've seen it, no, I haven't seen it like you've seen it.

Do you have a fingerless? On my chin. Do you have a fingerless little mitten for it? Yeah. You have a little mitten that you put on the end of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So imagine your hands. It goes over my balls and just my pecker head comes out of the front paint the helmet pink

I call it my penis cute koozie Penis koozie. I mean you have it. Listen you have a you have a good dick. I don't know beautiful is the thing Listen, I was speaking more in the idea of that. It's like it looks like quintessential penis picture. It's a straight sustained thickness And then there's the Then there's the cut area where it starts to taper in a little bit and then Side of the mushroom cap on top and then my peckerhead. It's a nice straight Looking penis. Yeah Moza, let me see the Christine cap on top and then my pecker head. It's a nice straight looking penis, yeah.

When was the last time you seen it, Christine? Four and a half years ago. I saw it last week. Dawn told me last week, she goes, I go, are we ever gonna have sex again? She goes, we will. Well, you're good. When you shut the fuck up about the wrestling.

She goes, we were. I don't care if the rocks. This isn't what Rhea Ripley would have said. It's final boss. And it's mommy. It's not what mommy would have said. We have to get back to this Hulk Hogan. The buckle.

I think it was this Trump thing. I think him coming out for Trump probably also shilling not having listen If I look he could have turned the crowd if he wanted I don't but he did this is such an old man like alright I'll go do it. He says the things he has to say and then leaves Yeah, it's so strange It doesn't matter. It does. He's a legend. It does matter.

If he's a heel, the fans are going to stick with the heel storyline. But he's not doing heel here. Listen, when Dana White comes out in the same arena, he's very Trump. They go in and out for him. I think there might be a... I'm wondering if there's a reason for it. We should call the morning wrestling show tomorrow. He's a bar for him. I think there might be a, I'm wondering if there's a reason for it. We should call the morning wrestling show tomorrow. They think he's a piece of shit.

They just hate Hulk Hogan, he's a piece of shit. Oh yeah, we should. We should call it Sam and the Ropes. What's it called? Oh, Sammy on the Ropes? That's smart. Sammy on the Ropes in the mornings? That's correct.

Mornings on Faction Talk? That is the temperature on it though, is what you're saying. It is. Yeah, but there's no, it says, well nobody knows for certain. So people are guessing it's that? It's Hollywood, it's California,

the woken state in the fucking union, and he walked out and he went hand in hand with Trump and did all the speeches, spoke at the convention, came out, ripped his shirt off, blah blah blah. I'm telling you right now. I forgot the shirt Ripley does on this. I'm telling you, it has to do with the... His body looks like chicken.

I think the Trump thing. Let's do another shirt. Here's the thing too, wrestling fans. Once a group of people start booing, people just do what they think they're supposed to do. So there might have been people booing going, why are we booing him? You know what I mean?

How do you want Hulk Hogan to be embraced so hard? That's Hulkster, man. The guy looks literally like he got microwaved and someone forgot. Because I take my vitamins, sucker. But he's like the biggest, I mean, to me, he's like the biggest legend in wrestling ever. Like everybody was obsessed with Hulk Hogan.

It is crazy that he has like the fall from grace to be like this legend in the sport to have this be what your reaction is now for possibly the last time you'll ever make an appearance in wrestling. I don't know. I think if they're smart, they'll take this and make it a storyline, and bring him back.

He will not come back. He's done, but watch this. You didn't watch this yet. No, I watched a piece of it. This is, when he starts fucking pushing the beer. Well let me tell you something, brother. Fuck you. Oh god.

You know something, Maniacs? I've been in this business for over 40 years and the greatest part, the greatest part of my life was being part of this great WWE guys. This is a guy clapping right there. He had his face. I've had my tag team partners over the years, but you the fans have been my greatest tag team partner because you guys-

By the way, this, he really, when he wrote this speech or whoever wrote it for him- Carlos Macia. Sure, absolutely. The tag team, Mike Lawrence, the tag team, the tag team analogy is a real big thing. He's good. This is his tag team speech He's gonna call it. You're my tag team partner and now Netflix is attacking partner. It's so stupid

You do think and thin dude, he is panicking is what's happening you hear a bunch of the things he says you go Oh, he's panicking. He's like panic speaking a bunch of the things he says you go. Oh, he's panicking He's like panic speaking. He's just saying words now. I'm telling you it's it's like Bobby doing intros. It's nuts I do intros great guys everybody. I'm telling you right now. He's gonna be in Maine, but 31st and he's gonna be in Plex in Chicago. He's killing it. He's one of the funniest guys on the road. He's here today.

Ladies and gentlemen, everybody's favorite boy toy, Justin Silva. Welcome to the show. Comedy connection in Plex, Indianapolis. Oh, god. Go back to where he says you stuck with me through thick and thin that was my favorite Have been my greatest tag team partner because you guys is stuck with me

Pause it for a second that wall is one of the coolest things in an arena right now Do you know why unreal well they have to they use it when it's a sellout when it's not a sellout They have the full wall that blocks off that back. Oh really? Yeah when this when they sell out like this, they use the half wall Which is a good thing whenever you see that that means they so they sold all the tickets But that's um, it's great and the ring the side of the ring is great, too Yeah, but no no, I'm saying this is this arena particularly, this dome, that's what it is. That's what I'm saying.

The wall, I don't mean the wall of things. You see the shape of the thing behind it, how it's like straight up, the seating. Yeah. That's for like the basketball games, like behind one of the baskets. It's just that kind. It's called the wall, it's pretty neat.

Oh, like they have in Brooklyn, right? You meant the screens. No, Brooklyn doesn't have one side that's straight up and down. Is this it? I think I went to the hockey game. It was kind of weird. They have one side where it's weird.

The screen is insane, they have up there. But where, yeah, behind. I think they have a wraparound at SoFi, too, like that. I think there's a wraparound screen at SoFi like that. Yeah, there is, but I'm talking about the wall. You know, you can buy that wall for like $1,500 at Best Buy. It's a fire stick TV, that's all it is. On the right hand side there is the wall.

This was a useless picture. Back to Hulk Hogan, please. I mean, we could have went for 10 minutes on that fire stick TV thing. I have a whole lot to improv. She was massacring trying to find that wall. Back to Hulk Hogan, please. I mean, we could have went for 10 minutes in that Fire Stick TV thing. We'd have a lot of improv. She was massacring trying to find that wall. She was not finding the wall at all.

So you could probably just look up the wall at Intuit Dome in LA. What she's doing, she's making you give context about it. She wrote up a news article. No, she's not. She's making dead air. Jacob told her not to look up videos. Don't look them up.

Make him explain it. Don't need for a video on this one, just a picture of that wall. Huh. Ha ha ha ha. I've teamed up, and in the past, How do you get orthopedic Nikes? Ha ha ha ha.

These are my ski sneaks. Ha. Also that too, like, his, the puffy tongues of his, of his sneakers, like, it's just like an old man putting on his sneaks. Yeah. He probably makes two, he probably makes two loops now and ties those together.

Yeah, but he's wearing that, that old Breitling that I had back in 19, you know, the early aughts when it was popular with rappers. It's off-season at Hogan's place, brother. I'm wearing my Breitling Super Avenger. Look, he's got to keep his, a rubber band to keep his fingers together. Why's he got a rubber band around his neck? It's off season at Hogan's place, brother. I'm wearing my Breitling Super Avenger. Look, he's gotta keep his rubber band and keep his fingers together.

Why's he got a rubber band around his fingers? That's what his hair came in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Parties down the line. I had incredible partners. I love that his eyes are sagging beneath his sunglasses now. Like, they don't, his sunglasses can't cover his full eye anymore because it's so droopy.

Look at it. What a sack. Yeah. The Macho Man Randy Savage. I've had giant size partners like Andre the Giant. My grandma has the same underarm skin. The greatest partner that the WWE has ever had is the fact tonight, we're making history. And the WWE is tag teamed up with

Netflix, the greatest tag team partner of all time. And then yeah, I look at look at Jimmy's like get me out of here Jimmy Hart's like yeah, pull the cord Hulk. We're gotta go dude. It's not going good. Yeah, Jimmy's like freaking out in the background. Oh Is he pulling his shirt off? Yeah Does he get it off though? Is he too old to rip a shirt? Yes Wow. Ah! Yes! And Netflix runs wild on you maniacs! Oh! Well, Hulk Hogan's real American beer

They take his beer out? Did he say it? He told you he'd get ready. Because real American beer When did he say it? He said it at the beginning. They took his beer out. I think they took it out.

Because he says something and he goes, and another partner, like real American beer! Where are you getting this from? They might not be able to promote alcohol. It's Netflix. Oh, is it? They might have took it out. Because he says something and he goes, and another partner, like real American beer. Where are you getting this from? They might not be able to promote alcohol. It's Netflix. Oh, is it? Yeah, they might have took it out. They've taken stuff out before.

I bet they leave in when, whatchamacallit comes down the ring, some guy dressed in all pink and Travis Scott just stands near him and smokes a joint the whole time. Oh, that fucking sucks too. Yeah. See that?

No. That's pretty wild. Again, I don't care, but it's like, what is the thing here? Is this children's wrestling or? What's the wall? Huh? What's the wall?

You have to go up on that wall, where there it is. I don't know the wall. There's the wall. What is the wall? Just go straight up? It's just the seating kind of goes much straight up instead of like out and back.

It's a big deal for me. I see up instead of out and back. It's kind of nice. It's a big deal for me that I see that Stephen Amell, Arrow was in the crowd, but I know he's on the great show Heels also. What? Is that Heel? Arrow was in the audience. Who?

You don't watch the CW, Christine. The wrestling show. Why don't you watch the CW? No one watches the CW. The Arrow. Well, it doesn't exist anymore. First of all, hang on one second. I was the only one watching it.

No, you're not. I watched every episode of The Arrow. He, it doesn't exist anymore. First of all, hang on one second. I was the only one watching it. No, you're not. I watched every episode of The Arrow. He went to the island. Right. Became The Arrow, went back home. He was in the crowd. His father died. You didn't mention that he was in the audience.

I didn't see him in the audience. Maybe. He's not looking for CW stars. I was a big fan of CW. Yeah. Yeah, I'm on your side, so maybe you wanna. All right, I'm glad. Yeah, well, don't throw me away like that again. Don't ever throw him away.

Don't ever throw me away. I'm gonna be making a million dollars a fucking year soon, so you might wanna just straighten up a little bit. Negotiations are gonna be over, I think, before the decade wraps up. How much are we making, a million? We're gonna get a million a year. But it's gonna be an ar I think, before the decade wraps up. How much are we making? A million? We're gonna get a million a year. Million.

But it's gonna be an arduous, arduous process. Potentially, 128 million split down the middle with me and Jay. Potentially. 125, 125. 125 million. Potentially. Me too, me too.

What if they just said yeah? 125, yeah, sure. We do one show. I take one million and we go retire. I'm gonna take it, I'm gonna take 125 million, if they say yes. I'm gonna accept it like it was. Expected.

Yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go, okay good, then we don't have to dig around with this. He goes, in fact guys, I appreciate that for that. I'm gonna take 124, spread the million amongst yourselves. Thank you guys and I'll be in the sign tomorrow. I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna be like, that's cool. Real quick though, they did just add that $9.

Oh. You know. They did add a $9 toll. Toll, so. When you drive in the city. Yeah. So if you could maybe figure that. You know what, I'll forget it.

I got it, I got it. You go $9, three days a week, 22 weeks a year. Oh, you know what, I'll take care of it, I got it. Okay, yeah. I got it. You know what I'm not gonna want to deal with all the reimbursements and stuff it's fine. Yeah you should park right under the building like Howard used to. Okay for that I'll take 120 million dollars. For that I'll take I'll take

20,000 a year. Park in the building. Take the security elevator up. You created me? Yeah. I wouldn't mind that. I wouldn't mind that either. Damn, that'd be great. We need to start a fight with somebody. What do you mean? We need to get eyes on the show. So start something big. Start something big.

Do you wanna do like a quote unquote failed attempt on someone's life? No. That's a lot. No. That's a lot. No, that's a lot. I'm talking one of the other shows. Oh. In Office Beef is what you're saying.

In Office Beef. Well, what's the show we're trying to like, glom off? I guess Stern's the audience you want to take the most from, right, it's the biggest audience we talk. That is, but here's what we do, I think we go outside of the show first, save that for the last thing. Outside of the series. I think we go outside of the show first. Save that for the last thing. Outside of the series, I say we go after a comic.

Some big name. Right now, just say something controversial at the bottom. Doing a show? Here? No. Just out there. Just out in the world. Yeah, like, what's her name? That comic that on Netflix, she had a special, the chick with the shoulder pads?

Michelle Bouteau. She's actually 92% white. Okay, really? No, I don't know. I thought we were just spreading rumors. There you go, love it. That's weird because she talks like she's Spanish. Yeah, and she has freckles like Morgan Freeman.

Yep, she has risen little nougat freckles. Morgan Freeman's freckles. Like tactile freckles? His name was Andy Dufresne, and he was my friend face. He walked like a man in a park. His name was Andy Dufresne, and he was my friend. Morgan Freeman's freckles look like you can just wipe them off.

Yeah. Michelle Boutil looks like she always just got done crying, and she's telling you she's okay. I'm okay. I heard she talked about Chappelle, and she got a lot of publicity for it. Good. Oh.

She smashed Chappelle a little bit. Did she? Yeah. So we gotta take a shot at a big dog. Take a big dog. Jim Carrey raped me. When? When?

No he didn't, I thought we were just doing the thing. I know, I was going along with it. Fucking suck at improv. Something more current. Do you really just immediately deny? More current. Jesse's got a little more current. Okay, here we go.

Go after Kevin. You can just call him and tell him you need me. No, big, big, big, big. Go after Billy. Burr? Sure. Oh, absolutely. He, um.

No, no, what? Nate, go after Nate. Nate, okay, I'll say the same thing for Nate. I was gonna say for Bill Burr, cheats constantly, but only with little people. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Buddy, I heard something like that, like rumblings.

Yeah, you heard it here first. But I, because I did a college with him years ago. Yeah. And I was headlining, he was opening. And it's funny because something fell off his car, and I was like, I'll get the jack, and I went in the back. There was a midget in the back trunk. No shit.

Taped up, and I was like, yo. He's like, don't mind that. And I was like, all right, and I never said anything. One time I was driving. And then that midget was opening for him. Oh, that's crazy. Crazy. One time I went and he goes,

grab this thing from my trunk and I went in his trunk and then when I opened the trunk, I see he packed and he was like, don't go in that one bag. And it was a bunch of like rolled up maps and stuff and hand drawn kind of maps that says to Tiny Town. Yeah, all he's talking about, he hears it was these villages where all little people live and I'm like, it's fake, it's not a real thing, but he said he was gonna find it.

You know, his father was a magician. And if anybody's gonna know who Tiny Town is? Sure, it's that Lord of the Dark Arts, Steven Bargatze. There you go, print that, put that out. The Lord of the Dark Arts, Stephen Bargatze. There you go. Print that, put that out. The Lord of the Dark Arts, Stephen Bargatze. He was brought into a cult-like situation with his magician father. I'm not saying if the fans of the show should, you know, we don't want people to go after anybody.

No, actually, please don't go after Nate. But if you're not a fan of the dark arts and people, you know, sexually assaulting midgets, I I mean we can't control that. I can't control that. I can't control that at all. Look I don't know if you ever found tiny town. He's got a look on his face if he did What if TMZ breaks this and our show becomes hugely successful Nate? I'm so sorry I guess Nate I didn't mean I didn't think I was gonna catch on Nate. I'm sorry that you love little people Yeah, Nate. I'm sorry that I didn't realize you actually were looking for Tiny Town and everything I was saying was true. I was just kidding, but you were super into this stuff. Did you see Ice-T's video? Yeah, I wanted to get into that so much. Buddy, this fucking guy. Detective Finn Tutuola.

So Ice-T I guess was driving wherever the fuck, I think he lives in Jersey over in Weehawken absolutely he's got the personality with cops of a Drunken 21 year old white girl. He's a Karen. He doesn't believe he's like What do you mean you can't drive on a suspended license in an unregistered car if I'm going to the DMV to fix that You play this clip this clip and he's first of all clip. And he's, first of all, he's dressed. He's so... Look at me. Look at me. I don't understand what you mean. I don't have a license. I don't have a registration, inspection, or vehicle. This is, this is... But if you... Look, I'm going to the DMV now. I have my documentation. Play this clip. me like that give me my paper

we get this on camera this one fuck days I am one I'm a foot away from you this is you are in there I'm sure as always let you know you'll be recorded okay I'm ready to the DMV that's where I'm going to get on my registration and everything straight on the star you know your registration expires since 2021. I'm headed right. Yeah. It's been a long drive. He plays a cop on TV. You know this.

Oh, he's not a beat cop. He's a fucking detective fin two to all. Listen, if this guy was accusing him of fucking a child or something, then yeah, he'd know what's how to handle that. Your license has been suspended since 21. That's why I'm going now in 2025. Yeah, he goes, that's what I'm saying. I'm fixing it. Why would?

You know he just drives around with files. Dun, dun. The paper's already filled out. I know. I was going there right now. So you're a bail jumper. He goes, I was about to fix that right about now. No, that's what I was saying. You said you were on your way to a steak dinner, he goes, after I stopped and handled all my legal issues.

It'd be great if that was his horn, the law and order thing. Move, motherfucker! Move, asshole. You don't want to see the old me come out. Coco, get out there and wash his windows with your butt cheeks. Fucking Coco's a mess. Coco, spit on his windshield and wipe it with your fat ass. That's Coco. And this sucks because he doesn't understand that nobody knows this young

guy doesn't watch old law and orders we're funny yes if he's prepared for this and he always and an iced tea goes in his glove compartment box and pulls his ponytail out and puts it back on come on and they go oh I pull the trick alone but the the older cop that shows up the the Sergeant or whatever he's like because he that way everybody pulls that now. I want to see your Superior officer and then the guy shows up and he knows who he is. Yes somebody more important over here Hey, but he can't he's like looking man. I can't do anything because this guy's So when he goes I'm a foot away from the thing and he's like you're not a foot away sir

He goes you're an asshole You're not a foot away sir you an asshole get this on camera I'm going to yesterday I went yesterday yeah but what I'm saying is the registration expired 2021 cars in part are you sure yeah of course I'm sure I'm that's why I'm trying to get this car set up to grow yesterday I went to the DMV and they said that their system was down so that's why I'm at it. He drove yesterday illegal this is the second day he's been driving illegal around fucking Jersey. I got seven cars. I got seven cars I'm trying to get registered. If you have seven cars, can you have one gunga

didn't do this shit for you, you idiot? One fucking guy goes, hey man, go take care of the car registration for me. Yeah, me and you have a Christine and a Don. You don't have to go to the DMV to update your registration. You just do it online. Maybe if it's been years. Oh, really?

I don't know. I mean, this is all plain lie. That's not what he was on his way to do. Wait a second. No, I have the envelope. It seems very odd that this would go on this long. 100% did not happen to be on the way to the DMV as he got pulled over.

I happen to have an envelope with this, and if I decided to adopt a baby I have that for him too. No, I was already over here to adopt a baby. Here's my passport. Here's my legal documentation. I got all the documentations. I signed everything with a felt pen. they know me? They know me. They know me from 2001 I love that familiar with my work in the mid to late eight. Yeah, I just coordinated with my baby

Boy, maybe you gotta hear my horn Hey Ice tea was so far back in hip-hop times that it's when hip-hop didn't have its own style and they wore like heavy metal stuff on top of like sweatpants that's what it was they dressed like early 80s hip-hop dressed like when they tried to make armies in the Walking Dead you know I mean it's like what your clothes made out of sweatpants and tires like mad Max shit. They're going to Burning Man. Maybe you guys...

Maybe you don't recognize me. I was number 8 on the call sheet for 12 years. You might know me as number 13 on SVU's call sheet. I had a double banger, sometimes a triple banger. Earliest I ever had to be in was nine.

I'm never in the first scene. I came in and said something funny and then went home. Straighten got my ponytail potato conk relaxed. I arrested the motherfucker at the end of every episode. I straighten my hair the old painful way like Malcolm X. I never solved a crime, but I was there when it was solved. Coco, grab my nuts, we out. Hahahaha!

Coco, hold the bottle of my big old dick, we leaving. Get my fur and my fur boots. Is your passport, do you have a driver's license with you? Yep. That's expired. So you have your license expired as well. Wow. That's why I'm going to the DMV. You can't drive a car with an expired license. What are you not understanding, officer?

All these problems will be solved one foot from here. It's not one foot. You an asshole. He's taking care of everything at the DMV. Sure, sure, but I'm going to the DMV to handle that right about now. Okay. Yeah, listen, I have a warrant for your arrest right now. Fail to pay child support? Mm-hmm. Paperwork right here.

I got some dogaments in my attache. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going to the DMV. I'm going, paperwork right here. I got some dogaments in my attache.

Coco, get my attache. Where's my manila envelope? You got my manila envelopes with the little wraparound things with the circles? I don't lick that shit. I ain't no lady boy. License suspended, that's so funny. Sir, I was just on my way to do this.

By the way, before you start making it a thing, I was also gonna get my unregistered gun registered at the DMV. That's right here. He goes, but they don't do that at the DMV. They do for me It's just so much your edit this and do that every time he changes position he goes It should be after that it goes gung-gung and then show the screen say outside of ice-tease car 1228

With an expired license and expired registration, why don't you follow me right to this garage right right here? The DMV is right there. You don't gotta be that serious about this Well, is it is this serious so You could have tried a valid vehicle who was registered and get this one ready. I didn't realize he's a foreign guy His voice the cop I think he's Spanish. Yeah, he goes he's registered. He's saying it a little weird Nah, you ain't doing that I'm gonna mind fuck you right now. You ain't doing shit I'm gonna call Captain Craigen. Yo, Craig Wait right here. Hang on. It's going right to some kind of weird signal. I got this right five five five Sir, that's not a real number. That's you'll see wait there. No, the phone company knows me

Put me through to Captain Craigen, please. I'm just going to call the operator. I need a stateside operator. You are stateside. You haven't paid your cable bill in four years. Hang on, got an envelope for that right here. Wait, wait, wait, that's the phone bill. I'm about to pay this.

Some of my old tickets. Here you go. Park my car right near you. You're not gonna move your car, sir. You give me your keys right now and I'm gonna tow your vehicle. You try to be more respectful of me, I wanna respect you the same way. Well then let me, you see I'm gonna go. No, you're not gonna tell me what to do. I'm gonna tell you what to do.

So give me your keys right now. I asked you, can I park my car right near you? I said not. Give me your keys, sir. Give me my paperwork, you're fucking... No, don't touch me, don't do anything like that. Give me my fucking paperwork. Get me my paperwork. You're fucking Don't touch me. Don't give me like that. Give me my paperwork get this on camera. This one fuck

Not an asshole you've been asking to me you You've been asshole to me St. Is like again, I understand I used to use Frustration just going like if this is what it's happening and he's gonna go, get me out the same exact time, which with the luck on that, it's just like, it's such a silly thing for he's so wound up and the cop. But also, I don't know, it's just fucking funny that he's getting this wound up.

I'll tell you why. But the cop's doing the, you're right, Ice-T's being too like, he's doing, out of the gates, I'm Ice-T, this isn't a big deal. Vers deal versus like he's trying to get the famous card, right? I've done that at the Apple Store and I've gotten just as frustrated when they don't recognize me and they make me wait in line And pay for shit. I'm Robert Kelly. I am the genius bar Anytime I go to the Apple Store, I always walk around and look at people and I'll say stuff like dude Yeah, I've been buying apples since day one.

And they'll be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, anybody, nothing? Hey, Melissa, marshmallows. You might remember some of my light cameo work. He's mad his celebrity is worth nothing. It's not worth, it's worth nothing. Not with the Spaniard.

Yeah, and I mean, his, it's out the window, like nobody cares right now. But he, here's the thing, he played a cop, so you know how many people- But that guy doesn't know who you have any people like it's no idea who he is This is he has he took down Nino Brown. He has so many PBA cards. He has so many cop friends He probably is the gold little bit. He's probably met so many things. He's never in his brain I'll never have a problem with this shit This guy is no fucking idea if he was smart what he should done with this fucking goofy Spanish company heard the accent

He should just flash this work thing and been like detective finn 212. I'm on the job Seriously get out of here you about I'm about to stop a predator This car is unregistered. Yeah, I know I can't worry about that right now It's my decoy car I got I confiscated this from a drug dealer the government has erased the plates from memory You think I dress like this because I like it, motherfucking young buck? Have you ever seen the born identity? No?

Well, then I'm him. Then I'm born identity. I think there's just a little bit left. Yeah. Oh, dumbass. What's up, Sarge? Hey, what's going on, man? How are you?

I'm trying to get to DMV to register my cars. OK. I got all the paperwork and everything there. I asked the officer, can I just go over here or even park my car so that I could walk over there and get all my paperwork together. He says he wants to tow my car. All right. Give me a second.

Let me find out what's going on here and then we'll figure something out. Okay? And everything's been recorded? Of course, sir. And your vehicle's been towed? And who's even taken it? The initial ticket and that's going to be it, right? We're going to leave the car here? Thanks. See you. Whatever you want to do. Yeah. And you've been told and you've even taken

That's The car here, okay, he's gonna park the car here. Oh, they got him back to not telling it Okay, he's getting four tickets up. All right driving the rest of motor vehicle Driving with an expired license in properties. you got no front plates and no inspection sticker. I mean, Jesus Christ. If he hit anyone or killed anyone, he's fucked. The only thing worse is if he was in a stolen cop car. Oh my God, dude.

I mean, it's crazy how much- That's my car. No, no, this ain't your car. Also sir, I noticed that three of your tires aren't tires, it's just the That's my car. No, not this ain't your car also sir I noticed that three of your tires aren't tires. It's just the rim. He goes yeah I gotta do one thing at a time man Live people to like handle this shit for him like what he does Of course he does, but he's probably a nickel chaser

And he's probably just like I ain't spending money on that shit Coco ain't getting them fucking yams in that fucking little tiny Porsche. Coco's back at the house doing some type of stupid old lady aerobics. Dude, Coco's tits and ass would put her, her tits would be in the steering wheel of that car. Jesus Christ, she still looks good though. Well she used to have such an extreme body when she first came out.

She's getting older now too, it's funny to see, but she's still like, yeah. Look at those two dogs, look at all those dogs they just fucked. Just. Oh, wild sex funny to see, but she's still like, yeah. Look at those two dogs, they just, look at all those dogs, they just fucked. Oh, wild sex natties, nice. All those dogs just came. They're just lying there. That's exactly how I lie when I,

as soon as I bust my nut, I lie like a fucking old pitbull. But I mean, you still wanna take a peek at that body, even though it's like, it's so ridiculous at this point. When she was young, she had that, to me, the first knowing of her name and giving a shit about her, it might be part of this same photo shoot here, it's a long time ago, it was early, early comedy. And what was the fucking, it wasn't Maxim,

it was one of the hip hop ones. Is that Source? Source. What the fuck magazine could have been where she's on the cover with her ass up in the air, and that's the first time I've ever seen that shape of like, the thong. Do you remember this?

DJ Lewis, I feel like some of you would remember. Too round. Yeah. It's just her ass cheeks like coming above her while she's like face down, ass up, but it's from the face on. That's a fake, that's a fake. That's a Mexican butt.

Sure. Yeah. Is that Whitney Cummings, scroll back up? Very possibly. Is that Whitney? No, it's a fake. That's a Mexican butt sure yeah, is that Whitney coming scroll back up Very possibly that Whitney. No, it's just cocoa looks like her it did look at Whitney the face there a little bit Christine look up cocoa famous xxl magazine xxl here. You know that So it was a rap magazine. Oh, sorry. I thought it was your magazine. You got the house for your clothes Thought it was your magazine got to your house for your clothes Now it's XXL by the way, I typed XX on it autocorrected me no it's wrong

Don't take that shit now go down hit images keep going down. You'll find it Keep going we'll find oh wait that go to the left of the up there I think that might might have been up there Nope move over scroll the page over you see there's something on the end there This is her yeah, she was there it is Wow Wow That's the picture smooth magazine. There we go, but that picture was like everyone's like who the fuck is this? And I mean that I mean, that's crazy. It's crazy ass. Yeah it looks like her legs were put on with like like you could take them off like barbie legs. Looks like an action figure. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like those will roll. That's gotta be a little airbrushed a little bit. Could you imagine? That's all plastic huh? If Ice-T didn't he's a fool for not trying to tit-fuck her

butts from behind. Oh yeah. Like let her lay like that, drag your bag across her back. Well Christine can you please move that so I can see? Can you? I'm trying to fantasize about tit fucking this girl's ass. Yep. I know we have to wrap up a little bit. We have to wrap up. It was all wrapped up in this girl's butt. Yeah, you got us all edging, we're all hard and you gotta ruin it. Now we're all hard and edging. We're gonna be back tomorrow everybody, but make sure you go see Justin Silver when he's at the Empire Comedy Club in Portland, Maine, January 16th. After that, Comedyplex in Chicago, January 31st through February 1st for tickets and

all tour dates. I am Justin Silver dot com. You follow him on all social media at I am Justin Silver. Robert Kelly is all over the road, the Comedy Club of Kansas City coming January 23rd to the 25th. After that, Batavia, Illinois, Levittown, New York, and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. And then of course, every Tuesday night you catch Bobby 7pm to Fat Black. Pussycat lounged the Comedy Cell. He's running there right now, in fact.

For tickets and all tour dates, punchup.live slash Robert Kelly. And of course, Bobby's new YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly Comedy. And of course, our YouTube page, YouTube.com slash at Robert Kelly comedy and of course our YouTube page YouTube dot com slash at the bonfire radio and my YouTube page make sure you check out big J because This week he's gonna be at I believe it's this week right at the Ridge Improv Phoenix Thursday, January 9th Deserich and then for Saturday the 10th and the 11th Friday in Your spinny fingers 10th and the 11th, Friday in, you're spinning fingers, 10th and the 11th, Friday and Saturday, the Tempe, Tempe improv.

At Miami Orlando. Bobby, I got to sell tickets to these shows. This is crazy what you're doing. Wow. Listen. Why'd you say, you said Saturday and then also Friday too. Because he gave me the wrap up shit. We gotta go.

I'm gonna be at Desert Ridge this Thursday. I'm doing it, it's my job, I get paid to do it. He's gonna be at Desert Ridge this Thursday. I'm doing it! It's my job! I get paid to do it! He's gonna be at Desert Ridge improv feeding since Thursday, January 9th. Then he's gonna be at the 10th of January, 10th, 11th. After that it'll be in Miami, Orlando, Syracuse, Ontario, California. For tickets and all the 20 days, bigjaycomedy.com, punchup.live slash bigjayokison and go to his YouTube page. It's fancy.