The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Fans, Merch, Devices (feat. Colum Tyrrell, Tim Butterly & Mike Rainey)

Episode Date: February 10, 2022

Colum Tyrrell and Tim Butterfly & Mike Rainey of The Dad Meat Podcast join The Bonfire and Dan and Jay introduce them to the one and only Summer Reign.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan S...oder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com@ColumTyrrell@MikeRainey82@TimButterly

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Starting point is 00:00:00 I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocerson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocerson and Dan Soder. If you ever wondered what Huey Lewis and the news would have sounded like if they didn't sell their soul to the devil That's what it is. It's Scott Baeau with the song. How you talk to girls? Sucking to girls. It's assuming it's quite how he talked to girls. I'll tell you how he did He got cast and Charles and charge and then just fuck the girls that play
Starting point is 00:00:39 I always thought he looks like a cigar store Indian. I don't know he's so angular and and dark Welcome back to the bonfire on serious XM facts of talk one of three. I'm Dan Soder That's big J. Oakerson joining us from the dad meat podcast It's a pleasure to have them on the show Tim butterly and Mike rainy What's up guys column to rel show up at some point? You guys were early because you guys you guys respect. I think we were precise. You guys were said 15 minutes still. And to be honest, I had to take a shit. Did you, did you which, did you poop, which one did you get downstairs? The one
Starting point is 00:01:14 the furthest away? That's when I always put the one by the front desk and I've never built been in the bathroom that smells better than that one. They clean it, they clean it a lot, which stall did you use? Cause I'm the one the farthest. Hey, Indycap. Oh, you did the fucking big dog. Yeah, always. I think it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:01:30 You won't do that. Dude, if I'm shooting in a place, first of all, it's come down to it. It's a last option. I'm gonna go, yeah, I'm gonna treat myself for sure. Spote, stretch my knees out and stuff. Nah, man, I just, you know, I wanna appreciate the fact that I'm fully mobile
Starting point is 00:01:45 but I'm fully capable I thank God for every shit. I've taken a regular stall. I bang against those walls. I bless myself Thank you God for this regular person shit I'm about to take you from my legs that I can feel how better you feel You know if you're all stretched out in there and you just hear a guy like just wrestling next door like Strap and trying to get himself like pulled on and try to grab the toilet paper thing to pick himself up. There's nothing to grip. Jay, I would just roll off the toilet into a normal start at that point.
Starting point is 00:02:13 Yeah, I was even in there. Just get up and move with poop stuff. And you sit on the regular toilet and you go, so I think somebody left a shit in there. Yeah, stop dropping roll applies to shit situations. The guy looks at you, he's like your pants are shit down. You go, yeah, I know I screw a shit in there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stop dropping roll applies to shit situations. The guy looks to use like your pants are shit down. Yeah, I know a squirrel tail in it. Don't worry. I'm moving over. I'm giving you room hostage. You get in there with your fucking dancer legs. Are you coming to go as I think you're supposed to be handicapped there because I was. Got rid of my problem. Yeah. I think I think I saw the light. I think I see anything. I pulled right out of it.
Starting point is 00:02:45 You do the valet thing you throw in the keys and you're gonna get on the key. You take a shit. You can catch the bad meat tour, which is Tim Mike and Colin Torrell who's on his way with dates coming up in Baltimore, Chicago, Buffalo, and Philly go see these guys. They're fucking hilarious.
Starting point is 00:03:02 And so yeah, they're all in the road together, which is awesome. You guys did the right thing, you just were like, fuck this, let's just put a tour together with our friends. We're just tired of not having a good time. Yeah. I mean, that's all I'm asking for, I'm just trying to have a good time.
Starting point is 00:03:15 It's trying to have a real good time. Even the one show that started off kind of dicey and that I've great, I threatened to eat some old lady's pussy and then she took it out on tune. Did she really? Yeah. So you got off stage and then Tim got on. Yeah, I got on stage and then Tim got on stage.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Yeah, I got on stage and she wanted to continue the conversation about having her pussy eaten. She was she did not like it. Uh, I couldn't I didn't get a read on her her her rapport with Mike, but I think she wanted me to eat it. But then when it became apparent, you weren't going to do it either. Hey, calm. Correll coming in here.
Starting point is 00:03:40 Hi. Good. Who's now sponsored by BetterHelp online Therapy. Make sure you know from the Column Terrell podcast and his new studio is right there. Head of the Wizard of Pod. Wizard of Pod. He's got the better help haircut. The Column Terrell podcast. God damn it. I thought I was correcting Dan. Now I'm here. So yeah. I was well and by the way I was ready to give in to your correction. I was like, oh yeah, I've been on it
Starting point is 00:04:05 It's the Wizard of Pod fucking fucked up. We're talking about how Mike said he was gonna eat an older lady's pussy And then she took it out on butterly at the Albany show you address her too Yeah, yeah, yeah, you were gonna eat her pussy. Yeah, that's what started the whole thing was it? Yeah, I thought she was just drunk I didn't know you were would you eat your pussy? No, no, I'm faithful Jay. That's okay You can offer it though. It's a fun offer. It is yeah, I'm not faithful Take the thing that some hypotheticals I'm saying is I was more asking is someone who's pushed you to eat or is it the joke that You would never eat this girl's pussy. I have gone into Mexico to eat pussy from a prostitute So that would not hold me back your snacking days before you were married or probably wild.
Starting point is 00:04:45 It's a... Damn, it was... They're more retarded than wild. You know? It was... When I was in the Marine Corps, as soon as we get down there to you, my Arizona, whatever you do, don't go in the Mexico. So, I natural.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I lived in Tucson, so I know the thing. Yes, you go to New Ga-Lis. Would you go to New Ga-Lis? I don't remember. I just remember we had to change cabs like three separate times because the grift was on as soon as three retards got in the cab Yeah, they got us but they did wheel us into like a hotel where each of us got a girl and I just remember eating pussy and then taking a nap next to her. Oh, it was very sweet. Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:05:17 He got the I just I think it's a trip to fans I've also heard if you eat, you shouldn't sleep for 45 minutes. It'll come back up. Did you, when you ate or pushed, did you do anything to you before? No, we were. You just ate pussy and slept. I know what I wanted and I got in and I got out.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Damn, and when you done Munchin' where you're like, all right, well, I know. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He goes, all right, those carnitas are done. Let's take a little siesta Smoy juicy. Yeah, dude, we should napo that was you don't understand that that woman now tells that story like a legend Where she's like the gringo In Mapusi
Starting point is 00:06:01 Folesley no, he drew you with respect I never see him He's in Mapusi. Yeah. And for Leslie. No. He drew you with respect. Mr. I never see him again. Yeah, look at me. Look at that. That's a green ghost. Yeah. That's a green ghost.
Starting point is 00:06:12 You're a boy. She was a younger woman. And that's a work. He gave you that. The mirror? The mirror. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:06:21 It's the Conolingues. Far from the mirror. He's a boy. He's a poorie. Santa cana lingua. She lights a candle for you every day, because you're either pussy or a black. A blanket of cap. You got a nickname down there.
Starting point is 00:06:37 First, he's the... Then he's the... But there's also a family that just believes that white men will come over the border to eat your pussy and then sleep Like the chupacabra you're like a story that spread through the Like that's bullshit never There's young kid like cocoa who doesn't believe he's like that's an old family mid the gringo stony pussy Madre the gringo he's not coming back. Yeah, stop
Starting point is 00:07:03 Andre the green going now coming back. Yeah, stop Like really? Antos you have to leave your life. She was she super into it was she like She seems surprised. Yeah, yeah You she's a fucking Mexican prostitute. Do some braero shoot off and she took out two guns She retired from she retired from prostitute. Now she goes a pussy truck But when you were you like Did did you negotiate it or you like, this is just what I wanted to do. I just went right into it and put my bib on.
Starting point is 00:07:31 Yeah, he's got lobster bib. It's the lobster has some rare on. It's just one of those twills he covers from the airport. He just hits the things on the sides of the flap. He just flaps his knockoff. It took a second to get under the Keen's aint here at this. Yeah, dude, that's so funny. All the fucking layers.
Starting point is 00:07:52 My buddy, I went down to Nogales, my freshman year at Arizona, and we like took the Greyhound and we went and drank, because that's what you do when you were like 18. And then my buddy went to a strip club who was visiting me from Colorado, my buddy Brian. And I was drinking at like the senior frogs or whatever, and he came back, and I was like, what happened?
Starting point is 00:08:08 He's like, I went to this strip club and got a blowjob, and I was like, how was it? He's just put a condom on, and I was just sad, and I couldn't get hard. And I was like, oh man, he's like, and then she got angry, and then I got hard. He was like, it was weird, it was weird dance. And he's like, and then I couldn't finish all I left. And he was like, he was so perplexed that I remember walking, that was a weird dance. And he's like, I couldn't finish all I left.
Starting point is 00:08:25 And he was like, he was so perplexed that I remember walking, that was the last member I have, he's like walking over the border with him with like the McDonald's and no Dallas and then being like, I just don't know what the fuck happened back there. And I was like, that sounds like it was fun. Cause you could, you could just go down there,
Starting point is 00:08:40 you could buy pain pills, you could just buy whatever you want steroids. A lot of kids at Arizona would go get roids prescribed now, so I Even start it yeah, just got it. Your voice is getting deeper Your hair is getting thin You know you call it. Yeah, dude. Not you, not you, Connell. Yeah, dude, we should all do Roads.
Starting point is 00:09:06 Absolutely. I would do a 30-day Roads cycle. Do everybody, yeah, for sure. You get fucking jacked. That'd be awesome. Grow that old foul back. Get too powerful. I've been asking for the past two years
Starting point is 00:09:15 for someone who's steroids with me. No one's stood up for it. I'll start tomorrow. But I have an apperscribe, it's got to get a needle. Do you get an apperscribe too? I'll tell you what. I'll take that one. Fuck yeah, dude. I will the one who get a second one, I'll take that one
Starting point is 00:09:25 Fuck yeah dude I will only do steroids for a point If we are gonna make a comedian's world strong as man league I will get juice to the fuck out It says that I will have the testosterone levels of when I was 25, 30 years old Oh, that's not enough, you need fucking just You need 17 year old fucking dad You need to test our strong other guy who's doing too much testosterone
Starting point is 00:09:53 Forget crank it to 11 dude give me the give me the Ronnie cold ribs Fucking jacked I want to bring some to groups everybody here's a you're still with your girl column. Yes, yeah, and Everyone here's got a wife or a girlfriend and I don't know if any of them I have to assume the Philly guys they're good cooks the wives. No now terrible They're all Irish, shouldn't I? I cannot remember the last time my wife cooked really? Yeah, was that a thing? You knew going in that she was just like, hey, don't look for that here then it was it was instant pussy within like I would say two days of meeting her I never gotten regular pussy before so it was just she gave me pussy for the first time
Starting point is 00:10:34 I'll never forget I was on the floor of a grandfather's living room eating ramen I had on a yak a fitted corn hat that I turned backwards when you turn it backwards it said issues on a yack a fitted corn hat that I turned backwards when you turn it backwards it said issues remember the issue that's yeah Jeno exactly J.O.s I could see it and I'm there and she put in Lincoln Parks I think was what was their first hybrid theory hybrid theory on the PlayStation Blast today dude I was eating box for the first time that was non-cross the PlayStation it's playing through the television. It's all the man. It's like a dancing play button. Yeah, with all the, with the ice cream's going.
Starting point is 00:11:10 That's one of my jokes, my story about, I thought I was gonna go fuck it to the kaleidoscope screen on a PlayStation. And so you just got, you turned that hat backwards and were like, we're fucking get in there. And that was it, Dan. It's like, I knew she was the one for me. Damn, dude.
Starting point is 00:11:24 I'm gonna get emotional. you were such a blue chip Prospect out there Mike that you're just out here giving head and just like looking for and then a lady's like Hey, it's got used to loves to give me head and they're like walk him down Can you even ask if I cook? That I couldn't care he goes eats us. I've never seen his dick you are You're a fucking you're a Mexican lore Yeah, you're the gringo. I gotta go back down dick. You are dude. You're a fucking, you're a Mexican lore. You're the Gringo. I gotta go back down there and find her.
Starting point is 00:11:47 You're the Cooper Cabra. She goes, ECO. She just drops the basket. You're a back, I know you'll be back. I have to run these years. One more month. She's on the, no, she's on the, she's on the bus. I think I saw him.
Starting point is 00:12:00 I saw him. Against the wind. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, with their grandfather. I was in her grandfather. Yeah. Man. And he liked to watch. Her night music. Different from a different editoration. He was a big rock park thing.
Starting point is 00:12:29 He goes, I like Chester. I wouldn't mind if he'd get, if Shinota did some solo stuff. I honestly, I can't get enough of rock metal. I like the rap. And I like the rock. What I don't like to make.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Finally. Randad, can we listen to Sinatra again? No. I like the rap and I like the rock, but I don't like the mix. Finally! Randad, can we listen to Sinatra again? No! I don't know the- What? It's me? If you mash it up with Power Man 5000, I'm gonna go walk around the school yard and listen to disturbed. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:59 I'm gonna go get down with the sickness. Also, I'm dying of sickness. You don't push me. down with the sickness. Also, I'm dying of sickness. Oh, ah. Ah. Ah. You don't push me. Ah, ah. Oh. How did you meet your wife, Tim? I knew my wife in high school.
Starting point is 00:13:14 Oh, and then we reconnected years later, and she cooks, by the way, shout out to them. Good. Yeah, dude, she takes care of all five. There's five of us. I know every night we have hot food. Damn, fucking great. Very hot. Come, your girl. What, does she we have hot food. Damn fucking very hot.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Come, your girl. What, does she cook? She cook, yeah. She cook, yeah. She's on. She's on. Yeah, she'll stick to a recipe. Yeah, I think is.
Starting point is 00:13:34 That's good. It's barely even cooking though. No, women are getting tricked by recipes, by the way. There's like a million, straight. Yeah, you know, women are like a picture of Pinterest. There's a million recipes on it, and they're following them to it's a, and they're all wrong. Every Pinterest recipe that enters my home
Starting point is 00:13:48 ruins an entire night. Wow. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Dude Pinterest recipe. Please. Don't even bring that shit on this road right now.
Starting point is 00:13:56 I want you to get fined. I don't want to sour the mood in the studio. All right, tell me. Well, Christine yesterday couldn't have said it's from morning through late afternoon. He has talked about it three times on the show. I didn't talk about it She kept saying and I'm like what yes, fine. We got your poll in the show's yesterday chicken orzo dish with Mushrooms or whatever I was excited for you sure Chicken orzo, okay, she's getting upset. I think that I'm not amped about that
Starting point is 00:14:23 But I go well that's not something I would ever pick, but make it, and we will have that for dinner. We go to the store, we buy every ingredient for it. She starts cooking it. I went to smoke a cigarette, I came upstairs, and she goes, God dammit, she burnt the ores though, all along the bottom of the pan. So it was like an omelette of rice
Starting point is 00:14:44 with some weird, like chicken in it, but the chicken tastes good. So I go scrape it into a bowl, we'll eat it anyway. And then two bites in, a long piece of our goddamn hair for a change, which is over for me. That's five more. By the way, if I find it in my mouth or in the bowl, I have the same gagging reaction
Starting point is 00:15:04 because if I pull it out of the bowl I start to feel like I'm going to throw it. I could be picturing what that was going to be in my mouth and then the... No, man, dude. When I pick hair out, he's like, but you can go back to the food. Yeah, I can't do that. Do I need, when these chicken for maybe 20 years because one time I bit into it and pulled out and it was fucking a
Starting point is 00:15:31 String I mean like a guitar strings of hairs. That's a lot. It was a lot one hair. I can look past I too everybody's gonna have another hair in it when I get one. Yeah, but I still eat I eat but I'm like I take very small bites. it's impossible to enjoy. I'll pull it and go, dude. Yeah, I don't care. Let's move forward. No. Yeah, you'll eat the special.
Starting point is 00:15:54 I need to go. I just want to fucking make it money in here. I need to go. If I swallow the hair, I don't even take the time, pull it out. I say that, I floss when I'm finished. If I feel the hair, pull it out, it's already gonna be a gaggy issue. If I pull it out and there's a piece of food
Starting point is 00:16:10 that can hang on it. Yeah, dude, I have to go be alone for a little bit. I'm like, I just gotta go think. You're just cooling down. You wanna think about pulling it off like Tom and Jerry used to do with the lips? Yeah. Can you hear the noise?
Starting point is 00:16:23 Yes, it's a fishbone. Yeah. Jay just ate an entire halibut and all that's do it. Yeah. Yeah. It's the noise. Yeah, it's a fish bone. Yeah. Jadis ate an entire halibut. And all that's left is the bones. I told her she doesn't really have to cook. And when she does cook, now she's getting lofty. She was, I'm going to start following recipes. Funny you said that.
Starting point is 00:16:38 Whatever this recipe was, it didn't work out. And I'm pretty sure the recipe didn't call for hair. Do you think that's why Chris Benoit broke bed? Yeah. I think he got bad orzo. And it was fucking last day. Christine will let me see three weights in the house for that reason. She knows when they I'm going,
Starting point is 00:16:53 hey I'm one of her with a fucking dumbbell. You know, why don't we let this cool in the boflix? Yeah, cool this out over here. Chris' last words on the Ness cam were, just scrape it off, will you do that? No, the chicken tastes good. Fuck it, Peter. where's my son? The neighbors here at Screams of Pinterest.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Yeah, Pinterest, it just fucks people up because they're like, oh, this is exactly how you do it, but you're right. Yeah, if it made it all the way to Pinterest, it's got to be good. Yeah, and then it sucks. Wow, this might be the worst brownie I've ever even held. Hey, you know, it's people out here not fucking learning. Tell you what, you gotta be hard pressed to scratch bake a better brown if you could find that a box.
Starting point is 00:17:29 Box is as good as you're gonna get. Cake too. Yeah. It's as good as you're gonna get. Jacob Bakes, but Jacob, do you, you don't use box recipes, do you? Never. Damn, was that offensive that we said that?
Starting point is 00:17:42 That's all right. That's our producer, Jacob, this is Miami. I thought he was behind the girls. He's down in here. He's in the middle. He's in your pocket. Yeah, he actually is an imagination of mine. I like him here.
Starting point is 00:17:54 I have wires in my brain, and we eat them. Jacob, when you're baking from scratch, are you also, because every cake I've had from a bakery is hard and dry and annoying, and the icing like almost like too sweet somehow. It's like crunchy in my mouth. Do you do that shit? No, I mean, fuck me. Is that what you're talking about?
Starting point is 00:18:12 Is that what you're talking about? Is that what you're talking about? Is that what you're talking about? Is that what you're talking about? Do you make shit cakes? Is that what you do? Well, bakery, are you going to, by the way? Dude, this is every bake, every wedding cake I've ever had I've never been having
Starting point is 00:18:25 Wrong this stiff frosting all hard to share it's a sign of a bad bagra Well, I'm what they're everywhere sweet desserts poor baking I agree these guys have tried my stuff Yeah, no Jacob can take a fucking throw down. Yeah, you want to try my step? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not gonna lie Jacob can't throw down But I'm just trying to coffee cake that I'll fight my mom for Fucking good, but dude, dude Tim. What Tim was saying is true and it made me feel crazy because I was getting cake Other places not liking it almost started in like cake. Oh, it's almost like it's always like try the we got you know from Demiki's yeah, we got a Demiki's cake. You got to try it. You're like this fucking sucks. Yeah Three inches of thick frosting and shit. Yeah, and it's firm
Starting point is 00:19:04 You fuck cake you guys are you guys just buying cake though? I don't know what I am I'm out here buying cake. Well, it's fine. We're bringing up cake actually a little preview here Me rainy and and butterly along with Brian six are gonna be hosting SDR show tonight in Ralph's absence and we have a lady coming in who's gonna shit out of cake every time I think you guys could be sicker so it's like yo just girls pussy is cake she's actually not wrong crazy and I also feel you because every time I've done SDR the last time he's like we're never a lady should water out of her ass. I had a book cookie bus dude.
Starting point is 00:19:45 I did it one time. We had an ass sniffing competition. Yeah. And it wasn't even a big event. No. It was like a segment. It was a seismic. It was a seismic event.
Starting point is 00:19:55 Yeah, it's not a hit to be studio. She's in the one that wobbly table. I got in trouble. My girl found out that she, because I never told her about this. She smelled ass? Yeah. Come on. Well, I never told her about the smell ass. Yeah, come on Well, I never told her she like it was I was like there's a bunch of horse I mean we all just hung out and the shit bitches lucky. She cook. There's like a photo a photo of the sniff in the
Starting point is 00:20:15 That's there's nothing funnier than an incriminating photo while you're giving a thumbs up I so prove what happened I'm a single I so prove what's happening to six fucking Hey, I'll go I wish I was single I'll give you a monster I'm really like a little sign that says this is exactly what you think it is Yeah, with the thumbs up No, baby, I was playing enough to the camera, you know I do, I do characters now
Starting point is 00:20:38 How do you not get that? She's gonna sit on cake and we, uh, and you can eat it off of her We'll see where that goes. So she sits, now we've done cake farts on this show. We've watched a lot of cake farts. Oh, do you think she would like show me how to sit on a cake? Yes. You wanna learn?
Starting point is 00:20:55 Yeah. Yeah. I've always wanted to learn how to sit on a cake. Damn dude, you're gonna take your twitch numbers through the roof. You start with like a game and a lot of your play. Is that icing between his legs? Do you play Friday the 13th ever? I have but I haven't in a while let's play I love to yeah, I'm a fine game. It's so fun. Wait. Who else do you play with though? I know I just jump on Jumping random games. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy playing with randomly and after the show I'm sorry. I got excited. I like you but I was talking about twitch. I'm Sorry, sorry, dude. I instantly got a no go. I'm sorry. I got excited. I like you butter. I was talking about twitch
Starting point is 00:21:30 Sorry, sorry, dude. I instantly got a no go. I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're a character to me I know the black counselor because she's so fast My ex-boyfriends broke. Yeah, you're boring everyone. We're talking. I call all right Farton on cake. I don't look far on cakes. You're gonna sit on cake, but uh and this is her thing It's where you know her right? I know her cuz Laney shared her profile this week. Okay. I'm a sucker for a hefty lady. You like big gals I do yeah, is that your whole life? No, you know, honestly, uh, she want to appreciate me saying this but my wife God bless her heart Is a bigger gal. Okay, uh, and the first was God bless her heart is the most throwback sentence You can say here we go and God bless her heart
Starting point is 00:22:09 God song her heart is a bigger one Dude when you say God bless her heart something's coming It's never like God bless her heart. Those are the perfect tips my wife and Lord knows she tries And God knows I love her. I love her. She's a great mom. God bless her dumb brain. My wife, Evan, forgive her.
Starting point is 00:22:31 Big one. Honest to God. Hand to God. I didn't know I liked them big. She got big. But I mean, that would a good thing to find out. They go like, I like this. And it's your wife's like, hey, this is what I am.
Starting point is 00:22:44 So there you go. Yeah, like when she, we have this. And it's your wife's like, hey, this is what I am. So there you go. Yeah, like when she, we have three kids. And after I say the second kid is when she took her final form. Yeah, dude, she Pokemoned up. Yeah, she went full snore lax. Yeah, that's when I realized he said, please be your final form. I know somebody who changed my series, I'm passed. Well, as a help.
Starting point is 00:23:04 I'm like with? I'm going to play with four snorlaxes. After she gave birth to the kid, he went right. Right. Right. Let's lay down.
Starting point is 00:23:15 Eat more. Right. I choose you. Are you a feeder? Did you give me some of those guys? It was more batter. More. He goes, give it to. He was giving to you.
Starting point is 00:23:25 I'm giving to you. Mike, you want to watch the game? He goes, I got to make a wife a loaf of toast and I'll hit him over. He's just got a deep bucket of something. He goes, I'm stirring her up. I'm going to go feed her. He just has a fun little bit of shoulder. He left her for cake tonight.
Starting point is 00:23:40 I'm sure. Yeah. He goes, honey, I came home with squash cake. Oh yeah. Yes, but she's gonna be pissed off because you had cake. You just had cake? Yeah, what the fuck? It's not the lady's ass on under anything.
Starting point is 00:23:53 Let me smell your face. Is that buttercream? Yeah. This is, this is, it's not even store-bought. They know what they're doing. So she's gonna come in and sit on a cake. You gotta get a cake for Shannon for Shannon probably right for a birthday Shannon's birthday we got a mix of two happy belated birthday Shannon from gas digital. Happy birthday in heaven Shannon God bless you
Starting point is 00:24:13 Had a good run But I wonder today she gets her wings is she gonna sit on the table? Yeah, if you put a tough down, she's gonna Is it like explosive like Gallagher style with I sure hope I really don't have a sexy my question is is there a splash zone is it just like really slow? Like when they you know you see this hydraulic things crushing that you can watch on like oddly satisfying You gotta get a ass Slow-mo replay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:45 I wanna get the name of the girls we can bring her up. I think that Ralph's pretending to be on vacation when actually his face is going to be under the cake. Yeah. He's under the table like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Guys, make sure she moves a little to the right. Her name is Babe West.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Her name's what? Babe West. Babe West. That was it. I like it, I like it. Wait, I come with the dossier. I like that this I like it. I like it. Dude, wait a minute. Come with the dossier. I like that. This is our thing, dude. This is confidential. Babe West, 32 years old.
Starting point is 00:25:10 It's got her start sitting on a belt. But this is... She's just wanting to know that she learned to sit with the best. This isn't a talent, though. This is just something other people choose not to do. This is not like... It's not like she has a gift for sitting on cake. She goes, I've learned what I'm supposed to do.
Starting point is 00:25:24 Sit. Oh, cake. And they, I've learned what I'm supposed to do. Sit on cakes. And they go, oh, Dan column, you guys Chelsea, not gonna be there at all, it's really showing through. It is kind of, it's really. Guys, that sounds so stupid. No, we have a girl who slapped pizza off her tits. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:39 We got a pizza tits episode of Wizard of Paws that not even a thing anymore. Sorry. She's more for sweet tooths. Oh. Sure, so more. It's different. That's more for sweet tooth. Oh, we're savory. You guys are sweet. Oh, you're going to put this fucking linguine on your big tits.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Guys, room for two more on this tour. Guys, welcome to Colonize New Podcast Noodles and Tits. We just throw fucking buckets of noodles at big tits. Yeah, just don't put a bonus quest. Do you have a constraint? Clam. Instagram's private. Why? you sit on cakes let the world Twitter or Twitter pictures of it. Yeah Twitter's so funny. It's one of those things
Starting point is 00:26:11 We're like, do I want to watch porn right now? And you're like, how much And these people are you? So I'm doing it and then you go much porn. Then last night my daughter and I were leaving the Sixers game and I had my phone on the dashboard and I'm scrolling through because we're stuck and as I'm scrolling through I realized one of the ladies I followed popped up during a double team scene Right next to my 14 year old and you go that's teamwork, but it's stuff you'll learn later Yeah, god damn it. Yeah, dude. I'll be looking at Twitter sometimes like sitting next to my girlfriend on the couch
Starting point is 00:26:38 And I follow like browsers or whatever and they'll be like big sloppy ass festival and you're like Every time I look at my phone it's like very close to my like big sloppy ass festival and you're like go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go Mike My crazy You say happy birthday to one porn star Yeah, there she is. Yeah, wow. He is cake lady. Yeah, this is the later. They're gonna watch crush cakes better be a big cake to cake boss Christine Did you get a sheet cake dude? My goodness? She's not Did you get a sheet keg dude? My goodness. She's not. You got to have a hook.
Starting point is 00:27:28 You got to have it. Guys, I'm going to take a little slow by this right now. I'm glad the three of us are here before the show. I don't know if six is going to have the same kind of thing to go over this. I think she's a lot of filter. I think that is not what her face looks like. I don't think she has a devil horn. No, she's gonna go.
Starting point is 00:27:45 She has bambi eyes. But that's a filter too, but I'm telling you what, it's filtering is age for sure. I think. I'm gonna say it looks more like Greg the hammer Valentine. Nice. Yes. Now, these days,
Starting point is 00:27:58 I wouldn't do this there. Who's gonna have to stop her from killing herself and slosh Vegas? No, point yourself off. Or she's about to m down 200 people in country concert That might be the smallest black dick I've ever seen it also looks like a procedure They're like, yeah, they're actually putting the inundation in I know she had porn point she was all fucking She was all cake shits, dude. She no she turns out she fucks humans and bake and pastries
Starting point is 00:28:27 Yeah, there was a Polish colonoscopy turns actually likes eating squash cake. Yeah, she's so pan She is All right, you guys gonna have you know it'll be fun to watch your smash some cakes look. I like cake She's too close to Mike's danger zone. I think. This is too close to what Mike is truly into. What do you think the worst case scenario for me is? I think you googling divorce papers. You some docu-sign. Yeah, your wife texts you.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Why did I get a docu-sign thing? You just go to the last one and sign it. If you eat cake out of her butt, could you be like, I'm sure mine am here you. Showbiz. Yeah, can you say you're in character? Yeah, no, I was baby, it was like you. You know what I'm sure mine is you yeah can you say you're in character yeah no I was baby it was like you you know what I'm on dad meet him a different guy Jay if it wasn't a lady
Starting point is 00:29:10 that looked like this I probably could finess my way into it but yeah like but your wife knows your style too much that she's gonna make your end to this yeah yeah yeah it's like I tried to this we were watching wrestling I go from an hour watching the Royal Roman, this lady had big tits and she tore her top off and I was like trying to act cool and I go, what are you doing? And Katie goes, really? Like that, so for the rest of the time she's, this is like for Katie.
Starting point is 00:29:35 It's mad. I swear to God for the rest of the Royal Roman, she kept going, I need, come on, we're trying to watch the wrestling here. And I was like, when you get called out by your girlfriend and you're like, all right, I'm sorry. I was being a fucking idiot.
Starting point is 00:29:46 I shouldn't have told you, I really enjoyed that moment. I had the same thing with the Pamela Anderson. Oh, yeah, Pamela Thomas. I was like, is this like CGI? I said, do you get back? Are they real pits of really analyzing it? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's crazy what they can do today.
Starting point is 00:29:59 And it looks almost like they are real. They're so nice. I don't even like respect them or anything. Yeah, did you watch, did you watch them? So last night I did, Pamela Tommy. You caught up? Yep. I don't even like respect them or anything Last night I did payment Tommy you caught up. Yeah, I'll call it up. It's a Now that episode sucked actually right is that the one we watched when we were this pretty shitty what sucked that we watch Is it a good show? I've watched that the episode. I'm like is this good? Jake I feel like that's been the feeling you've had to because you came in here. I don't even know how I get.
Starting point is 00:30:25 I'm going to watch it. And you're going to watch it. You're a little bit old. Pams, your number one of all time. Wait, are we talking about Pam and Tommy from Martin? Yeah. You were talking about Pam and Tommy, we were talking about, like, they finally got together. Gina's friend, Gina and Martin's friend, finally fucking you, link it all these years later.
Starting point is 00:30:41 And then he got, and then Tommy became the guy who sat on Who's Got Jokes. I would laugh at you when you failed. God damn dude, Who's Got Jokes? Those clips that we've watched. It's my favorite thing ever. Never don't tell. Should we take our break and we'll come back. Then we can ride this thing all the way out.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Fuck yeah, we're right now with the bad meat tour. So dad meat guys, Mike Randy Tim butterly, of course, Colin Tural in the column to roll podcast There it is formerly Wizard of Oz, but that's old dumb shit stupid shit fuck that shit They got a dates coming up in Baltimore Chicago Buffalo and Philadelphia We will be right back. It's the bonfire. It's true It's very dirt digler-esque. How dare you say. The magic on those tapes?
Starting point is 00:31:31 That belongs to us. How could that kid feel good with himself saying this guy was his abuser? Did he just play this back at him? Like, your job's Scott. Yeah. I think I need a smartphone, and he goes, hey kid, you're a little queer, he goes, am I because? This you you let me see Is this let me hear this crazy you play co-eager. Let's have you actually blown this guy crazy that you played a character named Chachi
Starting point is 00:31:54 Which means cock in Korean so learn your Korean fuck face? Who's gay welcome back to the bonfire on serious XM facts to talk one or three. I'm Dan So that or is big J. O'Curson. We're hanging out with the Dad Meat Podcast and Colin Torell on the Bad Meat tour. Bad Meat Tim Butterly. That's our training. Yeah, you guys fucking full form. Make sure you go check out the Bad Meat tour where dates coming up Baltimore Chicago Buffalo Pittsburgh Rally in the Austin. And then listen to the Dad meet podcast and listen to the column Tarl podcast formally the
Starting point is 00:32:31 Wonderful. Yeah, what? Terrell J. No, J. No, all right. Well, I don't expect the Irish so I walk right over those names I always respect the American versions and I know several perels and three Highlanders No, I'm sorry. I have fucked up. I was fucking I've been fucked up. I don't don't be like that. Um, are you guys familiar at all? I think everybody was I think she became a hero aim a baby Amy baby She this song got this song got really up high Chin up high got really popular fan sent it in early and we were on it just because one of the guys that sits next
Starting point is 00:33:06 Around the couch looks like DJ Lou in 10 years and Keith right now Party teller money Fuck them all fuck them but Make that would make it worth there's DJ let's throw money now She just films in her apartment building with all the guys who all the suspect guys hang out at her house Which you're absolutely dudes my dad would hung out with every single guy I've seen this is like that would have been Gary's friend really dudes my dad woulda hung out with every single guy I've seen this is like that would have been Gary's friend. They look like he's got a bottle of fucking sapphire. I'm gonna go down there and have a couple with him.
Starting point is 00:33:49 Now she retarded death or kicked by a horse. True dude. Okay, say something. What if I was to tell you none all three. Oh, no. She was my prize. Steve got it right in the side of the temple. So I kind of changed the way she fucking. You see girls like this who enter their wigger phase late. Yeah. I can't get the voice down. So it sounds like they have like water in their sign. It's called a wigger blossom. It's not too wigger. It's smell it in the air. It smells like preferred stock. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:16 So ever she she just hit the shores of America and the first like she black guy trying to fuck right away. She got a fantastic body. That's what happened to calm. Yeah. It's an end of the the calm and then so she just kind of adopted like so she just like she's one of those white girls It will defend to her the teeth that she can say everything she wants because she's in that world They love when I say it. Yeah, she's got like one of those accents Yeah, and Eastern European sort of but apparently she has a new song out and this song was such a hit on this show that we want to see The new one capitalize you guys are here for the premiere Amy be baby I
Starting point is 00:34:51 Seen I had not seen this at all none of us have seen it. We're going all all Virgin ears going into this Guess who's here again. What's what says? That's oh wow Hey me be Bobby motherfucker. Oh wow Stop making that face she's getting confident Stop making the face She had a joker staff. Yeah Okay, stop making the face it's a lot of intro You can't go pip
Starting point is 00:35:46 Damn look at that thing where I like the new guy showing up in the video. We'll tweet this out at the bonfire at SXM. Come with the... Boss and Lena, she's the one that you learned to sound of our shit. Yeah, dude. Why is she putting stank face on the whole time? She really says, uh, this is not a good look. Yeah, sure, that tone tummy, dude. Yeah, she looks like she's experiencing some serious G-Force. Yeah, I'm your friend.
Starting point is 00:36:04 I'm just like, I am trying to be in the blue angels. Just, it's, it's, it's, it's happened to be very windy night. Yeah. She has resting Olympic diver for me. Yeah, it mid diver. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, much more, much more production in this song.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Much more production and always, you know, the fall. That guy made the beat for sure. That was a shaky camera. Shaky camera, it also follow up to a hit that's not as good, but that guy there is somewhat involved in this. Yeah, the guy in the red jacket, Dancer Binder. Yeah. As far as sophomore efforts go, you hate when they can't recapture the magic.
Starting point is 00:36:36 You really do. And that's true. And absolutely Tim, that's what separates people. It's the follow up even better. But a scotch swirl more than one hit. But a scotch swirl, I one hit but a scotch swirl I honestly hope never stops making music some a rain multiple hitch hit factory This could be her pinkerton though where like initially it doesn't get the traction
Starting point is 00:36:54 And then she puts the blue album out exactly in real we know what we had yeah, so let me explain to calm We love finding terrible musical artists on the show and then deep Dive that subjective. It's true. It's awesome. I'd say odd musical artists outside her music But we found some a rain who we found out is a woman that lives in mid Florida. She lives in central flora Landlocked Florida Landlocked Florida real sad story. She's gonna come to one of Jay shows She's on the social securities. She's no money, but they're trying to help her out now with merch, you know.
Starting point is 00:37:28 But she had one of the greatest. There's a good font meeting at her fan, though. Oh, wait, did you say them? Can we say the merch thing? Lou, do you know about this? The people say we'll put in the merch up on the Facebook Amherst Group, I forget to tell me this. Is this, here's someone said like,
Starting point is 00:37:42 do you want us to put, oh no, someone reached out to her about her merch, some are rain, some, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, go from like, why did you do that? Now for the next two days, all I'm gonna tell you is devices. Like some of the lyrics? Yeah, you're like, yeah, let's play it for. It's only two minutes. It's a two-minute song and it's it's called Summer Rain Blue Eyes. Is that her? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at the dad meat guys and column sink into it. Starts kind of, it's not modulated well. I think you're gonna love this. The chairs turn around like this. That's haunting. Here it goes.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Peace. I love you when you tear me to pieces I'm awesome Every time I come around you threaten me I'm a tree I can't be around you You are toxic and I'm a season I know that I love you And I'm so happy with what I thought it was for a reason. Hit it summer.
Starting point is 00:39:07 I believe in. Because I don't believe in you. You know I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:39:17 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I is good. I need you. He picks up nice hair.
Starting point is 00:39:25 I got everything I need. Check it, guys. Plenty of things that you'll never have in your life like fans. Merch. Devices. Anything that you won't like, cards. ISIS. Baby, I've got a don't hate no more as mine.
Starting point is 00:39:43 I can see you Yeah, I like some more With anyone else All I see is you But my eyes are still blue Round two I don't need you anymore in my life I got it right by the time I got I got money got cars got got houses all around this world
Starting point is 00:40:10 Doctor lawyers everywhere around the Jews This is my favorite bird I'll pull it out I'm a figure talk about my life I put it on on Talk about everything dude No shame right now How it is facts and details I'll tell my testimony right now I know everything about Great I know everything about Hot Spills, nursing home, rapes, games, and everything that you want to know I'm hanging.
Starting point is 00:40:49 And that belief knows about that common sense. J.A.S.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D. I am the queen and I am glory. I am what the hardest cut music ever Let me tell you if you want to fuck with me. You'll fuck with my whole family It's just it's just cut and then it's just the music for another two minutes boys I gotta say this is real boss Alina shit. Yeah, and that's the other Boss Alina summer rains boss Alina she quickly hit stop on the recording winter or parole officer He's your fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck No, that dude, that'd be. Yes, she handed my CD at the method of mechanics. Yeah. She's, uh, yes, we were reaching out. I was gonna have her come to some soap. She wanted her to open.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Jay wanted her to open up with blue eyes. And then she goes, but everything she sends, what was that message, Lou? She was like, by the way, I mentally disabled. And we were like, oh, and then she goes, I'm a bipolar and a genius, I'm bipolar and a genius. I'm disabled with a Z. Oh, the letters are up in the down.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Disabled. Disabled. Disabled. Disabled. Disabled. Disabled. Disabled. Disabled. Disabled. Disafable. Disafable. Disafable. Disafable. Damn. She's like, yeah, disabled. I got a breakdown when she said, I know everything about hospitals. So, she's shut hospitals. Nursing homes rapes gangs.
Starting point is 00:42:28 That was the list. These are like, those are fourth. What are you, what are you, so just, that's all the shit that she just talks about on the bus, dude. Yeah, like what she gave her, her voice was just like, alien, brain control. I disagree with you guys.
Starting point is 00:42:42 Boss passes. I disagree with you guys. I think she's putting up the tent poles of her knowledge She is and she's letting you know what's in such. She goes look. I know everything about hospitals nursing homes rapes gangs Well, it's broad gray area right between right ask me any question about right? I'll triangulate whatever you give me Hospitals invented in 1982 as a Russian war technique. She was actually around the 14th century rape was actually looked at as a mating technique.
Starting point is 00:43:08 I know, it's funny, it goes, it goes, what's the code for the police code for rapes? She goes, all right, maybe I don't know everything about rapes. I don't know, I can give you the hospital code. You're a... Well, hospital wing. Yeah, she goes, all right. So your hospital knowledge, food, she's like, that's a different way, rangadang dang.
Starting point is 00:43:30 I was wondering everything wrong about rapes. It's funny. What is rapes, echoes? Man, put his finger in your mouth. I don't think you know how many of these are rapes. Like, capes, but what's weird is if you actually asked her, it would probably be very sad. Hit us with the I survive music when she's like,
Starting point is 00:43:46 some are in, what do you know about rapes? And she's like, I was asleep on a mattress. And then I woke up, it was my grandpa. He was above me. Unfortunately, I know everything about bunk beds. It took me many years to realize that that was rapes. Yeah, I know a lot about crawl holes. I know a lot about being chained to stuff.
Starting point is 00:44:07 All my uncles ran a train, then they made it rain. Rang-a-dang-dang-dang. And the Texas has summer speaks in a rap because of her abuse. That's the only way she can communicate. I found out a hard way. You could get hit with a fish tank. Yeah, dude. If you're pointing, I've never known what they said. Unicate found out our way you could get hit with a fish tank The point you guys never know what they said no one's ever pointed at many spots on the doll that's been touched
Starting point is 00:44:37 Hold on hold on show me where he touched you I said the whole thing Hey, dang. Oh, my eye's still blue. I'm a bad blue. I'm a bad blue. That Amy Babibi is the, I think she's a one and done. Summer rain. She believes it too much. Summer rain, what happened when we asked her to come to the show? She was one, she needed a lot of money
Starting point is 00:44:58 for a lot of things to get there. There were a lot of side quest. But she also goes, this is so crazy exciting for me But I want to do really good this being my first time performing live and I was like I Should have had her perform live It's a little I don't I'm a trying the fine. Yeah, you should do like the sway in the morning set up Whatever I'm trying to find the thing in me that has I'm not great at it. I'm not great at
Starting point is 00:45:24 Really like once she said like she's like this is so fun I was like oh okay what if you hit it her with you right lyrics for her to rap that are super retarded and funny but they're not hers so it's funny to laugh at because it's like oh I wrote you know what I mean yeah well yeah no you're not I what would absolve me is just seeing the actual thing. She's not gonna become a professional rapper. She's not gonna have any success If you're listening somewhere in some rain the man talking right now that she's got a hater You don't even know about how he's I'm saying
Starting point is 00:45:58 Let's say are you willing to go on the record right now and say she doesn't know everything about hospitals? Yes go on the record right now and say she doesn't know everything about hospitals. Yes. Drought. Hey, dude, I didn't know we turned into a parade. All this hate, right? This is a poisonous energy. I don't want to do it. You just started the next eight mile, mister. She's like, bam, bam, bam, bam.
Starting point is 00:46:16 She's like, thanks, just what I needed. Inspiration, motherfucker. She gets motivated. No, so what Howard Stern does does We're her big J diss track is gonna be you You already know who it is Gloves are off Fucking swollen juice. Yeah, I'm a Bernie. I'm a Bernie like Christine Bernador's In your brain is like a slow person.
Starting point is 00:46:46 Your buddy doesn't produce testosterone. Yeah, that's why you're on steroids. I already never think of getting knocked out by a boyfriend. You want to go to the E-Wing if you want to get most of the clear ones. I'm trying to find the right way. You got to ask a specific doctor. It's called a code green because it's medication. I know everything about hospitals.
Starting point is 00:47:09 I'm trying to find that thing in between. Sex or health consent is green. Where you make fun, where you're making fun of someone, like I said, how it's turned like the WACPAC guys. He fucks with them all, but they all in their own world have actually have a level of success through being just goofballs, then they could ever get. So you're giving her technically to the best audience she would ever have, because the
Starting point is 00:47:30 fans aren't going to be like, you dumb bitch, they're going to like cheer it on and be like having a good time and laughing at it, and she'll be none the wiser ultimately. You know what I mean? But I would just know my head I go. Everyone out there is like damn she is. Five, four or eight months, she's doing fucking naked rap battles at Skankfest with Lewis screaming at her throwing thumbtacks.
Starting point is 00:47:54 This is the greatest thing of all time. Her and Amiko are gonna make a baby as part of Skankfest. What are two things people love? Japanese death matches, some rain. Come behind them. I can book it. Ballpark, what was the number she needed to get up here?
Starting point is 00:48:09 Right, it was here. It was still in Florida. It was three hour drive for it was, I offered I think 500. I think it would have taken a cool G to get her up there. Well, it's just travel month. She just was like, I don't even have gas money kind of thing. She's also like needed to pay some fines. Black glue talk to her for a while and there was several things right You said that you needed to get the borrow $40 yes, yes, she goes pack of squares
Starting point is 00:48:35 She's she's fucking now he's but all over the country. Yeah, well, I do want to see her merch drop thing What did she what do you say lo? Oh she she went in a round trip, Uber. Uber. By the way, three hour drive each way, round trip, Uber. You know how much that would be? That's a lot. I can't believe she wants to be in a car with a Uber person. My thing about that would be like, I think she would make a Uber guy quit. Oh, for sure.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Oh, sorry, lady. You seem sweet, but what the fuck are you talking about? She's not understanding we have a deep and swamp country. I got to pull over. Three hours hours perfect. That seems three of my four subjects. What do you want to do? Hospitals, rapes, gangs, or nursing homes.
Starting point is 00:49:10 You pick your poison. Three of them. Almost clear of rapes. She goes, pfft, I bet. Nursing homes. That's nice to hear. I've never seen such a low score on Uber. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:20 Yeah. Can you be a point two? And she's like, I'm gonna tell you about nursing homes, originally called Elderly Cottages. It was designed in 1870. And he's like, yeah, I don't, can I talk to my cousin who's in the fucking Pakistan right now? By the way, this looks like a hostage video.
Starting point is 00:49:40 Yeah. There was also a freestyle. Did you ever watch the freestyle? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, we've covered everything. And someone said it also a freestyle. Did you ever watch the freestyle? Yes. Yeah, oh, we've covered everything And someone said it's a freestyle, but it's actually just words and other wrapper used before someone's Oh, the merge drop is an hour long Shut the fuck up. Is that true?
Starting point is 00:49:56 Yeah, it came out yesterday. It's an hour long live stream. Can I stretch? She's got a per black turtleneck on time to go on Steve jobs on these We have six minutes of show live unfortunately, I'm dropping my murder. She goes for all products I'm gonna start she goes through the table of contents later the flat screen summer rain TVs will be available Just so you know I have shirts Manies coasters song for stickers hospital gown Coasters, saw, bumper stickers, hospital gown. Bugatti, Bugatti floor mask, sleepy time mask. Rape test, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit, hit,
Starting point is 00:50:31 hit bands, pussy razors, rape claws, pussy claw, tiger, tiger ladies, tiger ladies. Unfortunately, I don't know anything about fixing the ceiling in my head. Yeah, that's water damage. That was one of those four things. You could help leaky pipes. That severe water damage above me.
Starting point is 00:50:50 So, and I keep my dice and off the wall. It's breathing mold. She got a dice in though. That's not a dice. Oh, okay. Let's see this merchant. Children toys. Yeah, it's toys.
Starting point is 00:51:00 Right by the circuit breaker. Can I taste something to pause it? Central air though. Damn yeah, you want to talk shit. She's like, you know she got thermostat. Yeah, she doesn't work though. I have to wear my merch inside. Yeah, good luck with your wall units. You fucking losers. Go with vaccination cards.
Starting point is 00:51:21 I know we're not. I know we're not. Yeah, age facts. That was the original lyric. She goes, no, I was going to know I'm not age back. Yeah. Age facts. That was the original lyric. She goes, no, I was going to know I'm talking about a heated acrylic. I invented HIV AC. Yeah. If they're living in the garage, why is she by everything utilities? Go, um, go and like, into it. Go like, yeah, right right there. Ooh. Is this like watching someone look at the internet? Oh, somebody had it by the way at one of my shows last week. Is that a phone number she posted?
Starting point is 00:51:54 She's playing Call of Duty right here. I think you just played our call. Are people donating swifters as the video goes on? Yeah. What swifters drive swifters? This is through. Andy Lewis, thank you for the swiffer, don't you? She's thanks daddy.
Starting point is 00:52:07 I love this swiffer. And one of the guys goes, dumb bitch, put it on her fucking wish list three times. This seems on her fucking Amazon. I want to thank hospitals aren't real 69 for the five gifted swippers. She goes, oh, I wanted it three times, not three different ones. But that is a great sweatshirt though. Oh yeah, we should, if I had any thought there would be a decent piece of thing
Starting point is 00:52:29 that wouldn't explode in the washing machine, I'd get one. You know who makes them, I think? The guy made Brandon, the guy makes your sweatshirts. Oh, that's definitely him. It's definitely him, for sure. Oh, so he's doing a merch for. That's fucking hilarious. Good for him.
Starting point is 00:52:44 The guy who made the switch or not wearing. You made this switch, or... It's where to go. Did he run this by you first? No. I mean, you're not gonna buy her. You're not gonna buy her. Oh, he's definitely ran it by her.
Starting point is 00:52:54 She's way in. 55 bucks, dude. That's a good... Good for her. I hope she can keep her lights on with it. Rangin' dang dang dang dang. I don't want to get into their business practices, but I hope Brandon's not like, you know, 99.
Starting point is 00:53:07 Yeah. It's good. It's a good deal. Blackwood says it's a good deal. He's a really good guy yet. Yeah, I do one with him with cowboy stuff. Dallas Cowboys. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:53:15 He makes like, he made a bunch of like, bonfire random hoodies and sent us some cool shit. I got a cone in, I got a cone in the barbarian, pushing the wheel. He's got a Corey's Angels. Did they have a valour option on the summer rain pushing the wheel. He's got a Corey's angels. Do they have a Valor option on the summer rain. Oh, dude summer rain and Valor get ready to get ready for another kid dude You're gonna start pumping and dumping. Yeah, I post one time just imagining my body covered in that
Starting point is 00:53:37 Valor oh So yes, the Jacob one everything She doesn't have kids does she Not anymore. Yeah, she does look like the type of chick that has like six angel wings tattooed on her ribcage. Oh yeah. I'm like get reed.
Starting point is 00:53:52 Footprints with angel wings coming off. I like the back of those hair. It's a trail of tears coming from her trying to get kids to retrace in the same steps. Yeah. I think she's breaking it down. My mom makes me live by my swifters. Let's get some volume.
Starting point is 00:54:07 The hoodie. They're all vintage. They're vintage wash. Vintage wash. Yeah, Dan, that mattress in the back really bum me out. Thank you. That mattress in the back really bum me out. Thank you That mattress in the back really really bum me out. Yeah, thank you We should be reading when you rescue a child. Yeah, she'll be reading the chats
Starting point is 00:54:32 I bet that's where the magic stuff It says crackle crackle in there a couple of course it does Thank you for the 84 ounce soda David Oh look another swifter She's you know I guess you're just hey, I can't be on here much longer. I have to go out and grab a swiffer. Guys listen, I'm out of pads. You guys got these swifters but not the pads.
Starting point is 00:54:55 It's a two-step process. You got to put the pads on. Guys. Hello. Just know every donation goes to putting soda in my kids baby. Kids like RC Cola, alright? It's just a fact. Just know every still on goes to putting soda in my kids baby Kids like RC Cola all right. It's just a fact science Dr. Spock said it every Not too busy for him sort of bar sort of bar flat You guys put every spoonful of ice teammates and groid in smout so thank you disappointed about
Starting point is 00:55:21 about not. Why are you passing black? I'm asking you black. What up cute stuff. Hey, look up my link to my merch is in pen. It's a fucking shitty product, asshole. And yank your head out of your ass. Damn, dude, we gotta go, but this is bummer. You start watching this video and you're like
Starting point is 00:55:45 Boo Boo, I don't know. I love it. I just like just dead air for 15 minutes at equipment. She goes Hey, Steven What's up Snoopy loop? What's up? Right now make sure you go subscribe to both the dad meat cast and the column turtleneck turtleneck yeah safe that's what I learned that's turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck turtleneck tur column dates coming to Baltimore Chicago Buffalo Philly, Raleigh Indianapolis and Austin. More to come. More to come.
Starting point is 00:56:26 Big J's going to be at Caroline's February 18th through the 20th, big J comedy.com for those tickets. Yeah, if you guys are in town, I'm going to please come through. And you guys come through that all friends hanging out Caroline's that weekend and going on stage. We'll make it a blast. Dan Soder's going to be at Acme Comedy Club Minneapolis February 17th to the 19th.
Starting point is 00:56:43 Good nights in Raleigh. That's the 24th to the 26th for tickets and all tour dates. Go to dansoder.com. Don't be a jag off about it. We love you guys. Rang it dang dang dang dang dang dang dang. You've been listening to Sirius XM's bonfire. New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows. Always on SiriusXM's Bonfire New episodes every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows
Starting point is 00:57:07 Always on SiriusXM

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