The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Fat Robot Bob

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly That's what we pray That's what we pray That's what we pray MC Hammer was probably never cool to you, Bobby. I loved MC Hammer and I had his pants. So did I. I used to go dancing with the pants

and try to do the moves. Yeah, you were hot, Bob. And I got my pants at Pair One Import. I got laughed. My parents laughed me out of my pants in the house. So I never made it to school with them. I got my parachute pants. I was always at the tail end of fads. I got them when they didn't have them in stores at Pier 1 next to a Papa-San.

MC Hammer fans. They were really just women's casual pants. They were just linen... Genie pants. I had linen Genie pants. I mean, he looked stupid in them himself But they are a really great pant. That's what we pray. I mean those are comfortable No, oh, I love them. No. I don't like I can't have be wearing pants That are keeping my legs warm and then have my exposed legs possibly rubbing in in there I need materials between my legs. Well, Sexy Bob could have one.

Why, did you have a gap? Did you have a nice thigh gap? I had a nice fucking... Pray... Here's the thing though, they would never work now because your phone would just pull your pants down. Oh, no doubt. Oh yeah, these need to be given to you. These were put in a little gift bag by a fan at Virginia Beach. I want to say his name is Pierre. He's French

See now he didn't seem very French at all American soldier though, and he was uh on some of his tours you went on he brought us back some gifts and Jacob These are a gift for you for you to stick where you feel necessary In the room if you would come over, please shake him and let me hand these to you These are you gonna put them in two spots. Look at that, look at that right there. What are they, Jacob? Why don't you go tell Bobby what they are? Bring them over, take it over to your microphone.

Teach him how to broadcast. Jacob, you have to talk into the microphone or the people don't hear it. Yeah, we're broadcasting. This is great, this is our no farting zone. Oh. Stickers. So where are you gonna put them? Damn, Bobby, you know what, I feel bad that I took such pleasure in that as great as our No Farting Zone stickers. So where are you gonna put it?

Damn, Bobby, you know what? I feel bad that I took such pleasure in that because you have a rough weekend of people just showing you blatant disrespect. I have had a- Skankfest, first and foremost. Well- I'm looking at you, Christine.

That one's crazy. Well, here's the thing with Skankfest is that every year they come up with a new theme, and I guess this year is a ta... What? Here's what it is. Attacks? It's Mars Attacks is the theme. Right.

But instead it's Vegas Attacks. But it doesn't really make sense because we're not... We're attacking Vegas if it's us. Right. It's Skanks Attacks. So Skanks Attacks is the idea. Vegas Attacks... Doesn't make sense. Doesn't make any sense at all,

so I didn't quite get that it was an alien theme. And then I started seeing, oh, some of us are cosmonauts and some of us are aliens, I guess. And Bobby is a fat robot. No, no, no, no. Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing, is I never got my stuff.

So I'm looking at a lot of the open micers are putting their stuff up on the internet to promote Skankfest, and I'm like, well, I don't have anything. So I'm like, all right, maybe Christine's waiting. So I had called your lovely companion. Sure. Is that what it is? That's fine, my partner.

Your co-host of the house. My house co-host. Your house co-host. Your lady friend. My lady friend. Your lady friend, Christine, and I was like, hey, what's up? I'd like to promote, but I have nothing to promote.

She's like, oh, I was wondering why you weren't promoting. I was like, well, I didn't get it. She's like, well, I emailed it to you. So I'm like, maybe it went into my trash. So I looked and it was in there. For some reason, the skank stuff must have went in there as garbage. And then I'm reading it and then I click it

and I'm on the phone with your lovely lady friend. I'm getting pothead paranoia from that. Me and Christina are very much together. As I'm saying that, I'm like, oh, I don't go on the Facebook thing anymore, but I go to these people and go, I feel like maybe they're not together, and they're doing it like a thing we've heard.

Tell them I'm the love of your life. What? No, my cans were off, what? I said tell them I'm the love of your life. Jay, put your headphones back on. Oh. Jay, you say it, you love Christine. Say it.

Say it. She's the, ugh. Say it. I hate it. Just say it. Why? Just say, she's not good to me. She's great to you, say it. She's not good Just say, she's not good to me. She's great to you, say, she's not good to me.

She's not good to me. She was not good to you. She's actually very mean to me. To be fair, my amazing artist John is not great to you. John fucking hates me. John is not a fan of Bobby. Well here's the thing, last year they didn't put me in the fucking video.

That was. That was not in the video. That's all it was. I wasn't in the video. You had a trans girl who blew Joe DeRosa more prominent in the video than... Shout out to Nicky Fox. Huh? Yeah.

I said shout out Nicky Fox. Yeah. I prefer the penis with a trans woman. There you go. Of course you do. So I, which is just fucking nuts to me. Nuts, because if you look back without YKWD, is there a skanks? Also they did a nice thing and they made the trans,

the trans girl got her own stuff too and she's very sexy, a very sexy robot in her picture. I clicked on it and whoever is doing the artwork took a photo of me from three years ago, fat Bobby photo, and just made me a fat robot. Yeah, they made a robot. Which doesn't even make sense. Robots don't need to be fat.

Why would someone choose to make an unhealthy looking robot? What's the point? Yeah, what am I, eating too much oil? Bobby A is just constantly eating nuts and bolts. Yeah, I'm just, I have my batteries of fat. Robots aren't born fat, Bob. I was so fucking offended and so mad.

Yeah, it was real. I had just got back from the gym and I was feeling good about myself, which is hard for a fat person to feel good about yourself. Might just stay upright the whole time. Did you manage to? I got it, I got it. I got it. which is hard for a fat person to feel good about yourself. Even- Might just stay upright the whole time? Ha ha. Ha ha. Just managed to-

I got it. Ha ha. I got it. I got it. I just wanna make sure everybody in the room, Jake, maybe come over there and give you a couple arm slaps. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha. I got it. Okay, okay. So, and I'm like on the phone with Christine, and I haven't heard Christine laugh. She clicked on, I go, what the fuck? fuck, and I go, I'm a fat robot. She goes, what, huh? I didn't even look at it.

I didn't even check it, and then she starts cracking up at my fat robot. That's how funny it was that she felt genuinely bad. She was appalled at what has happened. Where, what was Jay, by the way, what was Jay? What was he, a skinny astronaut? I don't even get one. Yeah, you did. Yeah, you did.

He just went to your social team. Oh, I was gonna say because I, by the way, Bobby, you see, you know, on the trailer, I don't even have my own title card. It's just Legion of Skanks. We're throwing in the three of us together. Buddy, I'm not in it. Yes, you are.

Yeah, you are. I'm in it after 15, Sam Jay is Skanks Fest? I said we didn't wanna blow our wad up top. It has to be excitement left throughout the entire trailer. Bobby, you're our wad. We can't blow the wad too early. I better be bolded. Are you bolded?

That's because we love you and you're important. I'm not important. I'm a fat robot to you. Do you know how important that is? A fat robot? Do you know how important that is? A fat robot? Do you know how fat you that is? I thought that was Star Wars.

You know, like, see, three people had to take an oil bath, but you're a fat robot that is self-lubricating. Yeah, I just stayed in the oil bath and drank it, apparently. That's it, dude. Just fucking, yeah. What were those fucking, what's that oil made of? Milkshake? It's such a fucking stupid photo.

It's not even cool. I mean. It's really not cool. I don't like this. We all have a chance to look cool. I don't like. I feel like we should put it out for the campers. I mean.

Give us some extra, because you know, Skankfest, 2020 Ford badges on sale now at skankfest.com. You better get this because it's gonna be gone. This is a, this is a, uh... Oh my god. I mean, look at that, dude. By the way, they gave you tits. They gave you actual tits. You have robot tits. It doesn't even make any sense. And here's the thing, too. Not only are they calling me fat,

they gave me a crooner microphone like I'm Frank Sinatra. I mean... I don't even get a regular... That's cool, though. That's not cool. And why is he between like Frankenstein? things Yeah, I wouldn't even fit into that ship of mine in the background. I'm not gonna lie

It does not this is not reflected on the festival itself But this theme is a fucking none of it adds up. Yeah, Jay's a skinny astronaut go fuck yourself skinny First of all, he's kind of a sad astronaut. That's a sad astronaut. With sad eyes. Yeah, but I'd rather have that than fucking, go back to mine. Yeah, it's fat robot tits.

It really does. Man tits, fat robot man tits. Someone made tits for the robot. Little flap tits. Oh, it's just fucking, look at my fat. And big old areolas. Look at my fat robot arms Should I tweet them both out so everybody can see? Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Tweet them out. Go ahead. Tweet them out to the fans

But we're getting you made you're gonna be a hot alien. I want a gun. I know I said you want a gun I just don't have it yet. I want shredded alien. I want we said washboard abs. I want I want I want like a Wolverine body But for now I want, I want, I want like a Wolverine body. But for now, before we sell out. Can we get one of me smiling? I mean, you said I look like a sad robot. I got a tens of thousands dollar smile. That's the face you wake up when you look over

and see Christina. That's what I was gonna say. It goes, did I just find out me and Christina are in the same spaceship? That's before the new teeth. Okay, really? Do I have toothpaste in my lips? What's going on? Why are they getting before teeth and why is everybody man? My hair couldn't look worse in this picture. Yeah, it does. It looks bad. Look you just get your helmet off Yeah, I just take my helmet off Christine's my helmet supposed to go around my hair

Christine this is a shit picture of me as well I'm just seeing this for the first time also. This is a shit picture. What did I just wake up? What the fuck you go Jay and just snap the picture of me going to the bathroom or something I don't know we pulled them from the internet because we didn't I didn't send your headshots into my guy You know I've got fantastic pictures that have been taken of me over the last several years You know me the headshots I got taken when I lost weight? I have a whole folder. You were in them! You're in them! You're in them!

You were there at the photo fuck shoot! You have fucking amazing photos of me and Jay that we had done. Do me a favor, hey Christine, keep laughing at everybody that you've hurt. At least you have a microphone that's cool. I have a crooner microphone. Yes. Like I'm Harry Connors Jr. I know, it looks like I'm getting ready to tell the world but I kill myself Everyone about to open the hatch with no helmet on go back to mine. I look like a jolly fat robot, too

I'm like the Dom DeLuise of robots. I mean look at that angle and the way your heads turn What the fuck hashtag fat robot hat Oh, I mean, what the fuck? Hashtag fat robot hat. Sad Jay. She's loving this. Sad Jay cosmonaut. Sad cosmonaut Jay. What's Lewis's?

I bet his is badass. He's got some fucking snake. For sure it is. I bet his is the shit. You know. God damn it. Dave Smith, who doesn't even want to go, I bet's got a badass fucking thing.

He doesn't want to go. He doesn't even want to be there. He doesn't want to go to this gang fest even want to be there. You don't want to go to Skank Fest? No. Doggie, don't say that. The narrative will be fucked up. You'll fuck up the narrative. We've got to sell tickets. I got to worry about Dave's narrative and my narrative.

I got to worry about everybody's narrative. You lose. You got to write a book. All these narratives you got going on. Change the narrative. Change the narrative. Change the narrative. Dave loves it. And Dan's going. That's fantastic. Oh, tits robot Bob. Titty robot Bobby. Not nice. And then fucking, and then bedhead, bedhead sad Jay.

Look at that. Look at that. Fuck you. Look at, look, look. By the way, his space outfit has muscles. bid head said j but i don't know you know what i would look by his space outfit has muscles his face out there is a space suit the tight spaces which are the muscles that's fantastic he was gonna chest play with a hot is that a hot chick on the front that's who's going home to

what is that i don't know but i guess the frankenstein electricity things are making all of us come to life for so what is the electricity thing? I'll tell you this He's the captain you're you I'm the guy who steers the ship and makes the food. I mean Bad shit this sucks Wow, I hate it when his mind coming in

It's alive! It's a fat robot! Skank Vegas Attacks what? It should be Skanks Fest Attacks Vegas. Skanks Attacks. Ann, let me ask you a question. Is this kind of similar to something else out there? What? Question is this kind of similar to something else out there? What I mean isn't this what what? Joe Rogan's Club does every week with everybody

What does what type up Robert Kelly at the mothership? Oh, they make like a Cool poster they make everybody in a spacesuit. Oh Cuz the mothership. Hilarious. Oh, great. What do you mean great? No, I'm ripping off Rogan. No, who came up with the idea? Lewis.

Day ago. Lewis ripped off Rogan. Pull up Robert Kelly images, I'm pretty sure. I'm trying to find it. Robert Kelly mothership playing with the mothership. It's actually what I would want for Skankfest. What they did. They're gonna make you nice cars when I set up a mothership. It's actually what I would want for Skankfest. What they did. They're gonna make you a nice cosmonaut

instead of a fat robot. Oh god. Rogan made you a probably sexy cosmonaut. Look at, dude, Lewis having biceps in his picture is fucking hilarious. Makes me see it. Look at his shoulders are fantastic. Fantastic.

He looks like Homelander. Yeah. Oh fuck that's a mess. To be fair, our artist works for Lewis full time at Castiginal. Oh. To be fair, our artist works for Louis full time at Cast Digital. Oh. The fucking, the guy hates me.

Tell Louis we're giving him the biz right now. Text him, say, well, he's fucking dicking around in fucking Jamaica. We're giving him the biz. I got it. I think I got it on my phone. I see you on stage, but I can't find your promo. Oh, they got it.

And I look fantastic in it. And I'm in a spacesuit. Oh, yeah I'm in a goddamn spacesuit gorgeous. I bet oh, I look fantastic It's exactly what I would want to do if someone had the ability to make a choice of Art to make me either look fat or good. It's what I would choose Yeah, it's it's out there It's out there in the world. Oh, it's out there. Damn, you guys are biting off Rogan's shit.

I mean, I'm pretty sure. Right now I'm guilty by association. Mr. Rogan, this has nothing to do with me. It's not true. Huh? That's not true. It's got nothing to do with me. This is more of a Jay Gomez Evans Trent joint.

I'm just a hired gun dude. If I had say in this I would have been like first of all the name if it Doesn't make any sense And Bobby's a fat robot And I just woke up from a fucking suicide Attempts that they just brought me back to life, and I'm not thrilled about it I'm gonna have look at that Bobby I gotta be honest with you you do look like a fucking thumb coming out of that thing But there's much more respect in that picture this one looks like hey bring in fucking doofus our fat falling robot Yeah, this looks like a doofus come down the stairs coming downstairs, dude

This looks like I'm on a Nickelodeon show molesting kids. I This looks like I'm on a Nickelodeon show molesting kids. I mean, look at... That's when space cadet Bobby used to take me off into the men's bath and do terrible things to me. It's very similar to mothership's photos. Um... I mean, mothership, it's all their thing is... No, but now here's the problem, though.

Mothership is just one theme of just astronauts, um, you know, on the mothership going up in the space. They didn't have the old throwback to monster movie electricity bringing people to life going in their heads. There's no UFOs in that one. And I'll tell you what, there's certainly no. Fat robots. There's no fat robots.

And I would bet, Willy willing to bet, everybody's hair is immaculate the way it's supposed to be when you're going to attack Vegas from Vegas Vegas attacks and skanks Vegas is gonna attack. Does that mean the cops are gonna shut us down Vegas attacks. Sorry guys Vegas attacked. We told you we didn't win the war. We got no we got no licenses this year And then Vegas attacked. Vegas attacked.

We have to hold Lewis over the fire for this theme. Yeah, he was just probably fucking stoned at his house and that movie came on, he's like, that's the theme. A thousand percent. Or he just stole it from Rogan's mothership. Christine kept saying, I have to watch, I never saw Mars attack, so I have to watch the movie so I know what to do for the theme

I go just aliens come and then they kill them. Yeah, but you know what it's not She's like, yeah, but I gotta watch for the theme I go Just look at a picture of those aliens. It's pretty much the theme. There's no real thing You know, it's not on the poster in the movie that robots that robot one No has nothing to do with Mars attacks. In fact, I'll be honest, I don't think there's any robots involved at all. There's no robots. Why am I a robot?

But there's also, they're also Mars attacks, Christine, I know you didn't see it. It doesn't have the Frankenstein to life machine either. Is that what that is? Yes. I mean, what else is it? There's different templates, it's pretty cool. What?

There's different templates, it's pretty cool. Sure. The cool promos. Mm-hmm. I don There's different templates, it's pretty cool. Sure. The cool promos. Mm-hmm. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Well, it's going out there. Oh, no.

Oh, you're not, listen. None of this. Wait, I can't put this one out? You can put it out on the bonfire page, but you promote. I can retweet it from Skankfest? If I, no. No, how dare you. How dare you.

None of this. If I show up and that's the poster of me, I'm fucking going home. It won't be, I honestly don't know why I don't have them doing it. Listen, how dare you? How dare you? None of this. If I show up and that's the poster of me, I'm fucking going home. I honestly don't know why I don't have the movie yet. Listen, me and Bobby. It's gonna be called Bobby Attacks. Me and, yeah, really. Mad Bobby's like the scariest person I've ever met.

By the way, the Bobby that's attacking is gonna be the fat robot one. He's coming in, guns blazing. No, no, this, and I think, listen, Bobby will Wholeheartedly say this with me There's a sexy alien David David a fucking AIDS alien Davis Ozempic alien

I think I'm happy with my fat robot and whatever that fucking creature is I didn't put it out I mean he Just scrawny aliens dying. No, all right. He has great hair though He's always got two little eyes coming out of his His head too, which are probably Probably all pissed off because the Frankenstein machines electrocuting them. I love that you keep calling it a Frankenstein machine.

What is that? Isn't it the Frankenstein machine that electricity shoots up to your bolts? From Frankenstein. Yeah. Yeah. It's not anything to do with space. Space isn't going to use technology from the Frankenstein days. Yeah, all these things are just shooting lightning bolts. Yeah, they don't use lightning to charge their ships.

Yeah, what are these unspecified directions lightning bolts the ships are shooting? Those aren't like ray beams. What these? You don't know what they're pointed at. You can't see that's out of your sight. I'm telling you, it's not going to be, whatever it's going at, it's going at it's not gonna hit it's a ship shaking off spaceship shoot lasers lasers not lightning bolts Never you never heard a ship Han Solo man the lightning bolt also They can also send the not even lasers beams beams they beam laser beam you do beam you could do hey you could Dog You could do hey you could Look she's looking away She doesn't want to face the facts about this. Hey Christine a beam is like a triangular thing that comes out and shoots down

That's also a UFOs No here here not Bobbie me No confused I'm going, here, here. Not Bobby, me. Christine, back over to me. Come here. I'm confused, I'm going to my crate. Here. I hope she pees. We made her nervous and she peed.

So you do want me to tweet out your fat robot from Bonfire? You don't want me to. You can tweet, you can do it on the Bonfire thing because of the context. You know when it's on the internet. It's going out. I understand that. I understand that.

But you're not using this. Don't promote it. You're not promoting. I don't want fat robot. You don't want this to be the poster that we put in the marquee. This is like an isn't this funny moving on. Slash Gangfest badges on sale now at gangfest.com.

No promo attached to that or you're doing Bobby. If I show up at Skankfest. So you do two separate tweets? And first of all, when I go, you know how they have all the beautiful posters all around? I mean, mine was by the fucking bathroom last year. Mine was by the bathroom that like nobody uses. I will say, Christine, if the entrance way

to the cigar lounge isn't a giant cutout of fat robot Bobby I point like like cigars this way. I mean you're missing out. Yeah opportunity miss fat robot Bob says smoke it up right here. Like just holding the cigar. I don't have a cigar Why don't I have a fucking like a cigar because they're worried about your fat robot health You gotta lose weight before I feel comfortable giving you a cigar, bud. Jay, I don't know if you know this, but robots don't eat. Oh, well something's been happening. I mean, I don't know if you know,

I don't remember when I met you having those robot tits. Robots, robots don't eat pizza to fill a hole, Jay. Yeah, your owner has to go, your owner has to go, he goes, you're eating a lot there, robot. I'm gonna have to put some tits on you. Toits on you shame you because I know you've been eating a lot I'm gonna put a couple more parts on you look how fat you're getting I'm gonna have to I'm gonna have to sell I'll have to get 50 chromacrons and get you some new tits I'm telling you the guy on the left the Bobby Kelly on the left from

the mothership that guy's that guy's the thumb. He's helping you out in space. The situation on the right, you're just stuck within space. That's just like, it's just on the adventure with you. Doesn't know, in fact, a lot of follies, you know what I mean, a lot of robotic tripping. I keep quipping, I keep making quips in dangerous situations. Yeah.

Looks like we've got ourself a thing. Beety, beety, beety, beety, dude. Beety, beety, beety, beety beat dude. I'm the only robot that farts You know a flat fat Bob fat Bob no fat robot Bob I want fat robot Bob I want shredded alien on I want shredded alien on the poster. I can't believe that Lewis's biceps are visible through his cosmonaut. Can you text Lewis and see if he can call the show, please? Bobby's robot.

He's on the beach till six. I know that from the meeting schedule, if I can text him. Please. You have a fat Bobby face, the old pic, but the fact that he designed an obese robot body is crazy. I mean, you never see a fat robot in life. But that pic is from four years ago.

I've literally. Right, and he catered the art to the face. He just went to Google, typed in fat Bob, and took the first one he got and then build a robot around it. It's personal. You know expensive that robot would be? It's probably a good buy materials alone this cost me double the price of a C3PO. Why don't you, C3PO? Why did you break it up? C3PO. C3PO? It's not C3PO. It's not CP3. Oh, you Chris Paul 3-0 There's so much. Oh, you're talking about C3PO see the robot see see three. I was talking about Chris Paul

Okay, I thought I talking about C3PO. I was I have the I can't say I don't be like looking at it It's just endless space on the robot the front of the robot the body I'm looking at it. It just makes me sick. There's endless space on the robot, the front of the robot, the body. There's just a big belly on the robot. It's a metallic belly.

If I just tweet out like that, I did the promo tweets, promo tweets gone. So now if I just say the fat robot and sad Jay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Not with yours. Did you promo tweet that out on Skanks Fest already? I did not. Oh, all right.

So yes, you can put this out on the bonfire. The fat robot and sad Jay promo for Skanks Fest NYC, you can put this out on the bonfire. The fat robot and sad J-promos for Skankfest NYC. Did you put this out on Skankfest? I absolutely did not. She thinks you don't have the savvy to figure out if she did or not. How did Mike Suarez, who is fatter than me, get a better promo?

Because he sent us the picture he wanted us to use. Because he works at gas, that's why. You have the fucking photos. No, I'm telling you, Suarez works at gas. He wanted us to use. Because he works at gas. Because he works at gas, that's why. You have the fucking photos. No, I'm telling you, Suarez works at gas, and he wanted to hurt you. He had a choice to hurt you or not, and he chose to hurt you. Who's the guy who does this? John, he's great.

Yeah, he's awesome. He's always the best. He's the best. I assume he's the best, and I will say he's a very good artist, assuming somebody else told him, what do you want in these pictures? He goes I'm thinking UFOs shooting lightning Frankenstein bolt chargers fat robot and fat robots and then bed head bed head J bed head J

Muscular cosmonaut Lewis. Yeah sultry fucking snake like vixen of space vixen Dave. Yeah He's a space vixen. What is whaten Dave. Yeah. Dave the Space Vixen. What is Dan's? I want to see Dan's. I bet Dan's, oh here we go. Marina Franklin, gorgeous body, look at that. Where's Marina Franklin? She's fatter than me now.

Lev Fur. Look how cool Rich looks. Where's Lev Fur? Yeah, okay, fuck you. Also that's like four years ago Lev. Yeah, but you put a helmet on his face so you can't see the fat. Chris Fega, they gave pecs, robot pecs.

Oh my god. Rich Voss is a fuck, what is, he's not even, that's like a World War II. Yeah what the fuck is Rich Voss? Why is he World War II? He's part of nothing else in this. I don't know. Why is he World War, that doesn't even make sense.

Mike Fanoia looks great. Mike Fanoia looks fantastic. Mike Fanoia. Fanoia, another beautiful fucking muscular. I mean, he looks... Oh, go suck an egg. Suck an egg, Christine. Wow.

Shainer is just actually ripped. You know, ripped half cyborg. Okay. Mike Figgs is fat, and he is not in that. Wait, wait, go back up, go back up. Mike Figgs, what is Mike Figgs? A stand-up comic in space? He's just wearing...

No, he's got a shiny outfit. He's like a lounge chair. He's got a nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice, Wait, wait, go back up, go back up. Mike Figgs, what is Mike Figgs? A stand-up comic in spade?

He's just wearing... No, he's got a shiny outfit. It's like a lounge jacket on. It looks like Rick Springfield. You should have gave him the fat robot and me that outfit. Made Mike Figgs fucking svelte. I mean, he looks fantastic. He looks really good.

Oh, go fuck off. Go back to the rest of those pictures. Well, everybody didn't put theirs out. You're a fuck. You really good. Oh, go fuck off. Go back to the rest of those pictures. Well, everybody didn't put theirs out. You're a fuck. You really are. Andy in the astronaut. What's Sam Jay? A gorgeous space lesbo?

Yeah. Sam Jay probably has a cat. Go back up. Scroll back up a little bit. Well, I'll tell you what though. Here's what I like about our vision of space. Cosmonaut, musician, jester, robot, whatever you may be, you're still getting the Frankenstein treatment. Everybody gets the first spaceship ever

when it only had lightning bolt technology. Poor boss's character, he parachuted in for this to get bolted. Yeah, what the fuck? All right, I'm coming in for a hot landing from the past. Gah! I don't have a ray gun. I have a regular gun. 45.

Go back up to Voss. Voss looks ridiculous. Voss is in a World War II. He's parachuting in. It doesn't even make sense. Do me a favor, Christine, also. Could you just Google Big Jay Okerson and just click images? Let's see how many boys before I have terrible hair boss has a real gun. Yeah like an old-timey gun

Please tell him big Jay Okerson and hit Google images and let's just see Hair done hair done hair done hair done. Okay bad face. Yeah got five Oh God, I got five pictures down before we got bad hair and I would take that hair over the bedhead how perfect hair you look like Chas Bono dude you look like a lesbian in that photo right there to the right I know it wasn't a good look for I was thinking about growing my hair long again I couldn't take it you look good in that one hair done who's that my best friend sent me this picture and that's the same thing but she's a girl from the avian awards

well me chase that's the girl I told you she's like a she's a Polish it looks like if you put Carla and Christine together I have the perfect woman She's uh, she's the Polish one and I told you when we were like she was my plus one my ticket new You were her plus 50 Flip flop that dude But she

Watched McCall she was sitting right next to me and I told you it was like when they said the they just ran through all the remaining Awards that were given before you know and that's when they were like through all the remaining awards that were given before they were known. And that's when they were like, and then the winner for best BBW anal scene is not Romy Chase. And she was like, oh. And then it was like, and the winner for best podcast

is not the SDR show. And we're like, aw. And they're like, good night everybody. And just sent us off into the world. Jesus Christ. Dude, there's so many photos. I think Romy Chase has music. Can you type in Robert Kelly,

Robert Kelly comedian, and see what photos come up? I bet it's, this is why he did it. There it is, right there, that's it. That's how fucking lazy. Fuck you, look underneath it. Look how many other photos you could've gotten. I mean, there's this.

It's not it, I think it's the third one is it. The third one is it, but that's it right, oh God. That's it. Right underneath it, on the same page, is a brand new headshot with the blue jacket. You couldn't, oh. Nah, dude, too late, there it is. Oh, you piece of shit.

He didn't scroll. It's not even a scroll, It's just a click down one. Go to the one in the middle on the second row. It's a little shadowy, though, for this. But again, it is space. It is space. It's space. Click on that one.

Not that one. Go back. There. No, not that. I don't want that one. No, the one in the middle. The blue jacket for the 17th time. Go to the fucking finished one. Why are one in the middle blue jacket for the 17th time

Why are you so flustered Christine? Hey that one. It's not gonna stop that I feel bad doing that Well, she has to learn. Oh, yeah, it's consistency I got a folder of all the headshots and so I sent to the artist because I was like pick which one will like work Best yeah, and he'll pick help, then you sent, Danny sent me another one that was like Bobby said send this one. So then I sent that one. Okay, great. That photo right there I would have taken.

You could have just put a space suit on me around my head and that would have been fine. It's true. I'm in space. That one would have been, it's not even, Google Robert Kelly comedian, it's the fourth one down. Bobby, I agree. I should have looked at them for a second.

Ground control to fat robot Bob. not even google robert kelly comedian the and rolls i'd i'd around control that road strap your metal tits on pick your protein the mac and cheese is almost done You're a robot who weighs a ton

In the ship and it can't take off right now Ground control to fat robot Bob Ground control to fat robot Bob. Take your protein pills and screw your tities on. to fed robot bombs six six hundred sing this is a countdown of his next meal Doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo And I think I'm about to start eating the ship Alright alright God oh My god scroll down a little bit. Let's see some more of these photos that you couldn't have Look at okay. Yeah, okay, scroll down a little bit more. There's one right there good one I mean not scrubbing. It's two down. I Mean, I'm I mean, there's a lot of fat

There's a lot of fat photos. Look at spodering back could have been fucking I would have loved that you could have the guy who's Tupac shot in juice. There's so many other photos you could have used. Sexy Bob. Look at that. Sexy Bob. Sexy fat, there's a lot more fat Bob's. I understand.

Oh my God, look at that one to the left. Christine, come on, that doesn't get you going. Come on, Cosmonaut Bob. I mean, Jesus Christ. Would have been so sexy like that. You would have been like, who is that? All right, whatever, with your fucking, there's a middle ground.

Ain't that shitty. Who the fuck is that? Who the fuck? I'll ask. It's Bob. Every time. That guy's like 25. I told you, that photo was at the Devon Comedy Works,

and I was standing under it, and the hot chicks were like, oh my God, he's cute. We should go see him, and I was just, fat Bob was under it. I was literally right there just smoking a cigar. I was like my God, he's cute. We should go see him. And I was just, Fat Bob was under it. I was literally right there just smoking a cigar. I was like, yeah, he's good. Planet Earth is blue when there's nothing left to chew.

We never run out of time. Here am I starving in my tin can Far from the world Here it is Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing left to chew dude I need some food right now dude I need some food right now I Just sent you the video Christine in the text read bonfire text read of Keith So fucking it makes me so sad, you know as a fat guy, right one of the big things is You know the headshot. Oh, yeah, and it sucks because you know, you have to deal with what you have to deal with, right? I mean, it is what it is, for the most part.

Mm-hmm. You're just like, oh, God, I'm just a tub of shit. But when you're a tub of shit, you really don't know. Uh... You know, but you don't know. You don't know the devastating... You don't know the... Like, I didn't know...

When I was filming Killbox, I didn't understand what a tub of shit I was until I recently... You know, last year, I watched it. I couldn't even watch it. of shit I was until I recently, you know, last year I watched it. I couldn't even watch it. You were even looking at me at one point for the show and went, all right. Yeah, exactly.

Okay. And now I look at it, I'm like, fuck me, you know? So, like, the stuff that's out there, it's kind of sucky to look at. But when, you know, when you're doing new stuff and you get to use the, they use the new headshot, you know what I mean? When you're like, ah, cool, I like that, it looks good. And then Skankfest, you're like, great.

My friends, my closest friends, my closest related comedy fest. Oh my god, almost my family, my comedy family. You're an ambassador of the festival. I mean, you have have a fat Robobs Cigar lounge it's the dude cigar lounge was I should say it was now fat Bob smoking parlor Robob is the it's the fat fat Bob smoking pod Christine I believe it's fat Robob. Thank you fat Robob. You're a fat robot. It's fat robot. I can't

Huh, I can send them. Yeah, you can send them to the bonfire Fans. Yes, but to the skank fest promotional whatever No They're never gonna stop making them. Oh, it's okay Like we're a comedy show at the end of the day, dude. I'm not gonna. I know.

You know, when you tell somebody not to do something, you're really telling them to do it. Isn't that what we're doing here? Yeah, I'm really. Christine, right? Look over here. I love that it works. I'm worried.

I don't know what. Neither of us has helmets on. We're really taking those fucking Frankenstein bolts right to the head. We're taking Frankenstein bolts to the head. And, well, at least your microphone is good. What's the patch on yours yours looks you look alright, dude I mean you look no my hair is all seven different directions. Yeah, that's a Look at that extra chin. I have look at that. Why would a robot have an extra chin?

It serves no robotic purpose whatsoever. First of all that head wouldn't be able to fit in that suit. Gee, it's true, yeah. What would they cyborg? They had to cyborg you to your exact old body? I supported being a cyborg. I looked like Darth Vader when they took the mask off. Oh, could you imagine if I got a body transplant and somebody fatter than you were already? Come on, man.

If they took my head off of a person and then gave me a cyborg, they would give me a better body. A good body. You could choose your cyborg body. It goes, well, I don't want him to be uncomfortable. Let's give him a big fat cyborg body. We have to do that for balance. His head would actually tip his hot body over as a robot.

His fat robot stomach is so he can walk. It's the bonfire, everybody. And you're listening to the podcast version which is free. Half of it's free. You get half the show. Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts? Right? It's like being half jacked off.

Sign up right now at SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire to subscribe for the full show. Plus you get all the music channels, you get Howard Howard Stern you get all the other comedy channels sports and to get our full show sign up for a SiriusXM subscription at SiriusXM.com slash bonfire support our show subscribe what's up we're back I was excited to come back this weekend Jay I was very excited to be back on the air a lot of bonfire fans down in Lafayette dude so many bonfire You know how I know there's a lot of bonfire fans because in my act I have this thing where I say make schmoors

And I and now I add my videos Yeah, you can hear them laughing extra and you can see people who are like, what is he doing? Why is he acting like a fucking idiot? Yeah, the fuck are marshmallows a lot of bonfire fans down there It was great. You got to do that room three three seven. You'll love it. You'll love right in the hotel come downstairs Really dude come downstairs go right into the room low ceilings Couple hundred people packed up. You'll love it. I do like that. It's awesome. Right downstairs. Yeah, I basically had this weekend with San Diego, American Comedy Company. God damn, I love that club.

Yeah. Oh, that city, man, the people watching there. The women are so beautiful. Yeah. I mean, it's crazy. Unlike Austin. Unlike Austin. Yeah, it's just a bunch of fat Mexican girls in doll clothes. Yeah, that's true. But everyone, again, the Weekend in the Gaslamp District of Sandy, I mean, the people watching

is world class. I mean, ass and tits just out. Hotel's great there too, they put you in. It's back to the really good one across the street, yeah. Across the street. Yeah, it has. It's a great gig. That club is just something else, man.

Everything from the hidden green room behind the bookshelf and the staff is just great. I like a staff that hangs out afterwards. They'd all go diagonal to that video game bar right across the street and go hang there for a little bit, I liked that. Dude, I did one show a night, it was so great. One show Friday, one show Saturday, and I was done. And I'm getting old, dude. They were like, we're going to hang out.

And I just went back to my room like a. I gotta do more shows and then I gotta Christine the Feed. Yeah, I know, but it was great money, dude. It was like great money, you know? We have, yeah, I have a dog and was great money, dude. It was like great money, you know? We have, yeah. I have a dog and Christine to feed now, so. Yeah. Yeah, no, good time out there.

I like it. But I am getting old, because I was in my room, tired. At what time? 11. Yeah, wow. Yeah, dude. That is old.

That's old. I gotta stop. I gotta nap there. I used to nap all day. You'd tire relatively early, but I was West Coast time, which is Yeah, I do. That is old. That's old. I gotta stop. I gotta nap during, I used to nap all day. I retired relatively early, but I was West Coast time, which is gonna fuck us up. Yeah. We're so close to getting where we're gonna be staying together for a week.

I'm so excited. I am too. I have a, I wanna watch a horror movie with you in the big TV room and film you watching a horror. We're gonna tummy time for the first time in three years. That's right. We haven't tummy timed. It's true. Do you remember the tummy time is when you were like,

hey, would you ever do this with me? No, tummy time I just enjoyed. I was backstage at one of the nasty shows that I said something to you, but it was because we were having such a ball tummy timing that we... We were tummy timing. Josh was tummy timing.

We did a three-way tummy time three-way Tommy time but I did like the two time we just me and you tell me Tommy time it's also two man tell me time is great watching anti Joe Mattarese documentaries which I I didn't even know existed and we didn't watch three of them three full-length feature documentaries taking taking down Joe Matariz. It was so great. It's so great. Oh, we'd have a little,

I remember when you break for a little snack, and we'd roll off the bed, left or right. Oh yeah. And come back on. Oh, snack break. Snack break, roll. Roll off. Oh, I love tummy time.

I'd rather suck a cock than lick any toe. But this place, the Airbnb we got, it's got a room with like a huge couch that you can kind of lay on even, and a huge TV, so we gotta do a horror movie night and film, just film us watching it. You know which one I wanna watch? What?

It's about the hand, I forget the, is it? Talk to me. Talk to me. No good? Well, we already saw it. I didn't see it. I wanna do one that we, I have, dude, I have a? Well, we already saw it. I didn't see it. I want to do one that we... Dude, I have a Shudder thing.

We could sign in the Shudder. It's got horror movies out the wazoo. We'll find something none of us have seen and watch it. Yeah. It's got to be terrifying though. It's got to be terrifying. Terrifying. I did Late Night with the Devil last night.

We watched it. It was all right. You know what I watched last night? Fallen. The original with Denzel? Yeah. Good one one good movie. That's the Yoke, what's the time? Is on my side. That's how you know, he kept jumping

Oh when he when the girl he was trying to get the girl the demon and he just kept touching the people just kept All the way down the street Elias Cotis. That was a good one. Good. He says name Cotis no really good. I mean really, at the end, what a trick little ending. Yeah, that's when Denzel would just make like a movie. Yeah. It didn't always have to be like a big deal that it was Denzel in it.

Sexy Denzel. Just like a movie. Denzel with the fucked up pinky Denzel too. What do you mean? Denzel's pinky's fucked up, we talked about this. Oh yeah. Yeah, he had a pinky that just went right. This fucking wonk pinky.

He put his hand up and just took a right for some reason. And you can see it in the movie too, because he goes to do something and his little fucked up pinky's there. I wanted to tell you a thing that me and Fanoia saw on the airport on the way out to San Diego this weekend. It was too, I mean, so difficult to hold this laugh in. This is a public like shit, you shouldn't laugh at this,

but you have to. It was two like 50-something year old guys, I'd say. And one of them clicked his ticket and started to go down the jetway. Then the other friend was trying to click his ticket. It wasn't, it wasn't it wasn't working at all and you just keep going goes I don't know what's wrong because I don't he goes oh and then I look to you I think your friend clicked

the wrong ticket or whatever and the friend just comes out of the jetway going like oh you know what I just saw I realized I go that's up but don't go it was one of those like five seconds of falling like it was like he was just going going go and then just I mean hit the side of the wall Hard like slid down it I mean the difficulty of not laughing but there wasn't one time that I walked into a room the rest of the weekend where I didn't go. Hey Mike, you know, I was wondering if when you get to Oh son of a bitch god damn it. Oh I think there's something about turning 50 that you just start to fall

I mean this guy just I couldn't tell you what actually happened He just goes you know what I scam the wrong I scam the wrong ticket and I got those. Oh son of a bitch I'm going oh God But here's the thing what did he do when he got up? He just like scanned it really fast and went out I was happy to see When me and Mike walked into the jetway because it was like, you know, stopped up the jetway. When people, he was in there and he was like,

he was laughing like a cheeks hurt laugh. Like I'm saying, but it's that thing where it's like, now it's him and his buddy are laughing about how embarrassing. Same thing would happen to any of us. Like you'd be a falling to pieces laughing in the jetway. And he was, but God damn it, that was so funny. Oh man, that's, it's a... You guys fighting over Pearl Jam? No,. That was so funny. Oh man. That's it's uh you guys fighting over Pearl Jam

No, we're agreeing over it. Oh nice. Jacob says best thing he's ever heard nice Jacob That's great a character turn for you Jacob that didn't ever seem to be the kind of person you were He's a drummer, so it really speaks to him those drums were awesome I'm doing this Tom drum did you put it yeah didn't mind that at all we got the well It's funny because we have me falling video. Which was great. I wore my Robert Dickeyless in a shirt this weekend.

Kevin, shout out Kevin. Shout out T-shirt Kevin, who made you svelte in the shirt. Yeah, because he cares. Because he wants you to be happy. Because you can actually choose to make somebody look any way you want when it's art. It's not a photo. You whisper so loud, dude.

Yeah, man, you suck at whispering. I swear I started looking around the room and realized it was you, because I just heard, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. It sounded like bees. I was like, what the fuck's happening? Yeah. I thought it was a bit of a technical issue, but it's all good. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm for you of somebody else falling. I love falling. There's something about falling, especially when it's not me,

but I got two videos for you. Okay. And maybe we could have the listeners decide which one's the worst. Oh yeah? Do we have time for that? We could always go tomorrow with it too. Yeah, maybe we'll do a poll tomorrow

because we have people who have some more time. I mean, we'll get in, I think tomorrow we're gonna open up the phone lines Maybe a little bit for the callers to a car the listeners to call in Yeah, and maybe share their best falling stories and maybe share their best falling videos in fact, if you have a good falling video that you Are involved in some not just something from the internet a video from your life. You took it It's you falling someone in your family blah blah blah and you want to send it send it to Christine the bonfire at serious XM calm the bonfire at serious XM calm taking off

Oh, that's right everybody So in your videos if you can and we could have you call in tomorrow And we'll put these up videos out tonight, and then you can vote on which one you think is the worst Oh, yeah, the funniest same thing cuz I mean are. We have Mr., you know my friend, number one best friend, Mike Kalta, he took a fall and he has a ring camera and I feel like my fall was great. It was great.

I wind up pumping the machine. Your fall was great because of just like, it wasn't just a fall. You then got tangled into machinery. That's what was funny about it. The fall was like, you know what could happen to any one of us is the fact that your leg just swung the wrong way. I fell like a fat robot.

You fell like, you really went like a fat robot. I mean, eh, eh, eh. And there was no Frankenstein machine to bring you back to like, zzz, zzz, zzz. Well, Mike Caltafel, he tripped over his... It's on feet. He tripped over his... It's on feet. He tripped over his stupid Crocs, because he had his Florida basketball shorts, Crocs,

and just a t-shirt. He was at his back door and he fell. Man, I can't stop watching it. Crocs you're asking for. Buddy, he falls like a building. Yeah, can we see? Yeah, he fell like a building and just laid there. You said it like, watch this. Just watch this.

This is great. Oh, oh, oh! Well, wait. He just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, he just, He just lies there. He just accepts it. He lies there. He lies there for like three seconds

Trying to figure out what happened, and then he gets up like a fucking little fat kid. I mean that That could have went so much worse He stays down Immediately when you fall. Don't, don't, don't, don't. Ah, shit. OK. That's a pretty, oh, man, I think I'm going to take a nap.

Here we go. Oh. By the way, he projects himself with his hand on the right-hand side. This will be going at the bonfire, SXM. Dude, the fact right here. Boom, and then one, two, three, four. I keep going through this, like like the Subruder films.

I see him move that foot to try to not trip on the bricks. It looks like over there. So see, he almost trips himself. He kicks his right foot over and takes out his own left leg. Watch. Look, you see? But he tries to shoot for the grass hilarious he's like no no something and what is the noise I think it's the door closed he smacks he smacks the thing next to him because he really is he projects himself and then trips himself with his own right foot look cuts himself off. Oh god, dude one two three four

Watch the way he gets up though watch the way he gets up look at him he gets up little kid okay, and then He got like diamond Dallas page he's wiping his shirt off of all his fucking all the leaves Goddamnit man sucks here, but I got you he felt that he felt that for days. Oh my god As soon as you fall and I know this because I'm a faller. Oh, yeah, I'm a faller I'll fall it's the as soon as you fall you like as it's happening There's nothing you can do about it And then there's a point where you just got a hit to accept it and then there's the point where you're like

Fuck me and at my point of fuck me I tried to get up as much as I could but I couldn't cuz I was wedged in between the two machines and had a Dumbbell on my hand, but this thing I don't understand why he just lied to you like sheetrock He just fucking left on the door cuz you know first I tell you it's the age and everything what he's doing is He's assessing how bad it is before he makes a move. You know I mean he's like right now. He's like am I dead Is what I'm feeling right now am I a ghost that shot out of my body like never when they killed When they killed Patrick Swayze and right away his ghost was like running after him yeah like when the wizard punched the Hulk he thinks maybe is that's his carcass but his ghost has

been blasted into the woods he's like is this it is this the afterlife great grandma I wish somebody could actually do that on the video. Just superimpose him. Just kind of got him. There's a ghost shutting up. Ah. Dude, it's so funny. I've hungered for. Ah, his shirt. Look it.

Here's his shirt. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, the self-trip is. Ah, it's great. And there's nothing, but he tripped on nothing. He tripped on himself.

There's nothing in front of him. It's just a shoe stop short or something I love that he has to get up like a baby elephant, too Look at the way he gets up. Look watch He's so wet see the movie better off dead sure yeah Do you remember Ricky when he dances and he flops on the ground and he does not get up yeah yeah yeah that's exactly the same yeah he dives into it right yeah that's Mike yeah that's Mike he just lives on the floor now well I guess we live life here

Mike really thought he died god damn it and I Oh, God damn it. And I brought you another one too, which I think is the best. Who is it? Keith Robinson. Oh, this is Stroke Keith? I think this is right before Stroke Keith. Getting on stage, Mr. Dove Davidoff is hosting. This is him getting on stage at the cellar.

This actually gets texted out to a group of us at least two or three times a year just to remind us. How many years ago? It says it right there doesn't it? On the video? No. This is before stroke. This is right before stroke. Okay. This is full health Keith. This is full health Keith. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Fucking falls. Well, what was I going to say? Goodbye.

Duff doesn't even fucking help him. Oh, man. Oh, now, Fatsy Peterson was the bar I went to school with. Oh, he's just gone on a camera. I think Keith's the best because he's there and then he's not. Someone falling into frame is the funniest thing ever. Oh, look at this, ready? Keith Robinson.

Oh! See you later. Oh, put those both down, let people see. God. Have either of you ever fallen getting on or off stage? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I fell getting on stage at, uh, Jesus Christ, a long time ago, the guy called my

name and I was in the other room, so I ran. I ran to go on stage. And I didn't, I think somebody's leg was in the aisle or something and I tripped and I slid like four feet and just smashed my head off the stage and the guy went Robert Kelly. Dude at at Skankfest Vegas before Vegas attacked. Yeah. The one before it got attacked.

Yeah BC attacks. BC before it was just Vegas. Before Christen attacks. Yeah the one before it got attacked. Yeah BC attacks BC before it was before Christen attacks Yeah, no the year I did my special The day after I taped the special my body was just fucked. It's my leg everything just like shut down on me pretty much I ended up having to give me emergency like lady to walk on my back and everything But that morning when I came in I got a massage from her by the way My first thing I the first thing I had to do Was a re storytelling show they asked me to do so I was like, okay

And someone like walked me very slowly to like the wherever he was doing his had like a little back alleyway and you have to get up on the stage and Go around like the back of it or something. It's a pretty high step up, but and go around the back of it or something. But it's a pretty high step up. But not so high that I could step my foot up on it and push up. And I just pushed off. And I got up on it.

But both of my legs were just gummy after that. And I just went. It was like falling, just body in front of legs the whole time, just smashing into the wall. I didn't fall, I just drilled into the wall so hard and people heard it and I think Ari was on stage and he was like, what is that? Is everything alright? And then people were looking through the curtains, you know, I'm like... And then kept going around and realized that there were steps the entire time to get up there. I had no idea there were steps.