The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Fun Anecdotes with Taylor Williamson
Episode Date: September 18, 2024Comedian Taylor Williamson is a long-time friend of Christine and defends her to the guys. He is prepared for his visit with fun anecdotes. Jay remembers being a bad audience member at a wrestling s...how with Dan Soder. Bobby does not read Reddit because the campers do not enjoy him as much as Soder. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.
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And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly
Bobby you're too not cool to understand French punk
Spar blath and flam this is this what Jacob's band would sound like if he was the lead singer Oh plastic Bertrand
I'd look at the name again. You know this song Jacob
do Yeah, I'd look at the name again. You know this long Jacob do
Jacob and a like it with a paper thin tie. It does seem like Jacob you would rock to this rock to this
Why you're all drama? Well, you're cooking a souffle
Being a souffle in your less serve Xbox
Boo-boo-boo. It's the bonfire faction talk series xm 103 big jokers and Robert Kelly hanging with the whole crew
We have an awesome guest in the studio. Yeah, he's got a new special
Yes
He has a new special streaming right now on YouTube and you can find his podcast almost alpha wherever you listen to podcasts
Taylor Williamson live at the Comedy Store is the name of the special it is the great Taylor Williamson. Thank you, man
Thanks for coming and hanging out. Hey guys. Thanks for having me. I have so many anecdotes. I prepared nice
Someone told me you're supposed to prepare things to share anecdotes. I have anecdotes
I love that. Give us a good one what I realized but it's not good for radio because I have a picture of you
Bobby yeah, please. It's and I was in Florida. I was in some guy's house in Florida and he has a picture of the painting of you what it's fucking crazy
What are you talking? That's not even a picture of someone who looks like you is that not your view?
What it where it where were you am I being am I am I gonna be murdered?
Wow, he did say he was gonna murder you but this was January so maybe he was lying cuz that's a long time ago
Who is that?
Mike Mike Colta, who's that?
It's a radio guy now he loves you I love his best friend my number one best friend number one best friend
Yeah, how many best friends do you get? I have one Jay has four
What?
Yes, yeah, he has ten
Mike's know you're being number one just because they all call me their best friend Jay has four. What? Jay has 10. Yeah, he has 10.
Mike Fennoy being number one.
Just because they all call me their best friend
doesn't mean I'm their best friend.
No, it's because you call them back.
Yeah, Christine calls me boyfriend.
I don't call her girlfriend.
His best friends are like seasonal.
Like he'll talk to one guy every day for months
and then just like never again for like three months.
Never again.
I'm only spring and Christmas time.
Apparently summertime, I'm out of season.
Mike Fennoy is June, July, and August, early September.
What Mike has learned is he hits me on the phone call
when I get up, my friend Mike hits me as soon as I go out
and like around the time I smoke my cigarettes,
right when Mike's ready to talk for a few.
And we just have a good gab session on the phone.
That's funny if Mike just stays out in front of your house
until you come out and you go,
hey Jay, what's going on?
Yeah, he's around the corner.
You look great today.
What?
No, no, no, no, no.
I mean, you probably do look great.
So you're smart to be the December best friend.
That's a Christmas presents involved, you know?
Oh yeah.
Yeah, Jay gives good gifts, man.
Yeah?
Yeah, he's a generous, generous guy.
God, it's September, I gotta get in on this.
Yeah, let's get in on this early now.
Mike Haldon's generous too.
Me and Mike actually did this gift-giving thing,
because Amazon in Florida, it just shows up in an hour.
Because they have an Amazon outlet,
so you can order something,
and it's at his house that day, like an hour later.
Wow. So we just started sending stuff to each other.
Oh Taylor, can I ask you also that Christine,
oh I feel like when she has, when we have comics come in,
who she worked around at the Comedy Magic Club
for her years working there, back in the day,
no one remembers her ever.
It's so weird.
There's no way that's true. I'm not even making a joke.
No, no, no. It's funny.
I'm not playing along with this. She's legendary.
I'm being honest. People who know, even know her na-
Like, wasn't it the Nate Craig kid? Like, he knows you now.
He's known you, but he doesn't remember seeing you back at, like, hanging clubs.
Can I be your lawyer, please, Christine?
Like, this is her in my phone, by the way.
I typed in her number and it was already in there.
Christine CMC comedy magic club
Comedy magic
Can't tell you yeah, yeah, but I'm saying if someone doesn't remember her because they weren't getting the bookings buddy. Hell, yeah
I'm just gonna say that did she book it. Well, she was there. I'm just saying it's people bragging that they were there
I'm like your lawyer, but I'm not your lawyer. I'm being an honest. I'm an honest guy
I'm the guy who tells it like it is out here. It was TJ the TJ Miller remember you from there
I've never can I tell you I've known him for 20 years. I've never seen him once in my life at the comedy medical
I'm sure he's been there
I'm just saying people who were there know you Jimmy Brogan would be like Christine. What's up?
Oh, yeah, he doesn't remember who's there
That's part of his brain he took out
I didn't know TJ from the club.
I knew him because my best friend dated his best friend.
So that's why we knew each other.
Who's his best friend?
But that was a comic.
Yeah.
That's a comic.
Scandal.
You don't want to say his name?
Is it bad to say his name?
But can I tell you this other thing?
I know Christine because comedians are not supposed
to hang out with the staff and all that thing.
But there was an asterisk if you're the exact exact same age as them and I started when I was 17,
so like we're all kids.
Yeah, yeah.
So you hung out with Christine?
Oh yeah, we didn't hang out.
Yeah, all the time.
Well.
She's OG.
Well.
Did you guys, well?
Did you guys?
My first night ever in the city,
I literally landed in New York
and I was taking the train to go to,
go from Brooklyn to New York in Bushwick.
And I remember I go to my friend, Caitlin, I go, I think I know that guy. I go, I think
that's Taylor. I go, I think he's a, I go, I, I'm 100%. She just forgot your last name.
And she goes, no, no, no, no, you're going to think that a lot. She goes, that's not
him. I'm like, Taylor. And it was a hundred percent percent him He had moved to the same exact subway stop in New York
I didn't know he lived here how many years in radio for you sorry
More and more towards
Yell this name
I do yeah, and then people say
It was so bizarre to go on the subway my birthday in New York and just see somebody I knew at all.
No, it's out of context too, where you're kind of like,
what, it doesn't make any sense.
I did that to the kids in the hall,
the little, I saw one of those guys on the train,
and I screamed his name, but I never met him before.
Bruce.
He just got off the train.
What was the name you screamed?
I forget what the fuck his name is.
Bruce.
Yeah, one of those kids.
Kevin McConnell!
Yeah. That's not terrifying at all. Well, you know what? I forget what the fuck his name is. Bruce. Yeah, one of those words. Kevin MacDonald!
That's not terrifying at all.
Well, you know what?
I didn't know anybody.
The first time Christine told me that you guys
were old friends was when we,
we still to this day watch religiously
America's Got Talent.
And so seeing you on there was like,
she was like, oh, she's like, I know him.
And I was really doing like a little like,
you don't have to try to impress me.
You already made the sale, kiddo. I've never played that club. Have you ever played the comedy magic club? I did it
Once or twice twice. I mean never been a comedy match
I've always said that people always said that it was you have to be crystal clean. You can't be dirty
You can't swear and I was like a fuck it. I'm not going no, but the guy who was
Richard who was like Christine's direct boss, I think, at the time,
when he kind of had much took much more like control over the club, like he specifically
asked Christine, like, no, bring Jay through, like, it's like he can do whatever he wants
to do.
It was more like they just kind of kept that I think for like newer comics, they don't
want to bring up like dirty comics.
Right.
But I think if you're a pro and you do what you do, he was kind of like, no, it's fine.
He could like do whatever he does.
And they were cool about it.
I always thought it was lame because the rationale
for the creation of the club is so dorky of an idea.
The guy was made fun, unless this is a myth, by the way,
the guy, the owner was made fun of at the comedy store,
like from a guy on stage.
He has a list or something.
And the comic made fun of him,
so his dream was to open a place where no one will ever say
something means somebody in comedy now on my life I heard that's the thing am I
right I heard that the same time you heard that it was the first time I'd
ever heard it was it from a guy going someday you're all gonna see and then
you're gonna each fit. Yeah, inconceivable.
You're gonna suck my dick when you see
the kind of place I open up.
Sorry, suck my penis.
It's gonna be on the beach and there gonna be hot girls
and you can't come.
Can I tell you what's great about all of this?
This is all on my list of anecdotes.
I got AGT, Christine is OG.
Nice.
Jerry Briscoe Jr.'s on here.
Listen, I did my research.
But I can tell you, at the County Magic Club,
because I always had that fear of like,
can you ask for, can you work with me, whatever,
no one from the club has ever told me that.
It's just like comics, like the seller,
I kind of feel a similar vibe, not that we're clean,
but like I'm like, I'm.
There's a more of a mystique to it than is necessary. I don't know what's going on, you know? I come there like a similar vibe not not we're clean but like I'm like I'm there's a more of a mystique to within this necessary
What's going on? You know like I come there like a few times a year
I get I work there when I'm in town
I live in California and like I'm always like I see some comic who's been there who's becoming for 25 years
Who's scared of one of the managers like don't talk she's looking you know something am I supposed to be scared here?
Cuz you're all scared everybody's scared of Liz though. I didn't she's terrified. I don't know who you're talking about
I'm scared. Everybody's scared of Liz though.
I didn't say it.
She's terrifying.
I don't know who you're talking about.
Okay, who are you talking about?
The other scariest lady there.
I know Liz.
I'm not scared of Liz.
You're talking about?
Val is so scary.
Oh, Val's scary?
I'm joking.
She's got gout.
I love Val.
I love all of them.
You love gout?
I love, gout is one of my favorites.
Estie, you're scared of Estie.
People are supposed to be scared of Estie.
I've never been Estie, but I'm scared of her
because people are scared of her.
Oh, that's good for you, dude.
She's a monster. No, she's not for you, dude. She's a monster.
No, she's not.
She's not.
She's the sweetest woman.
She's not a nice lady.
No, she's nice.
Don't say these things.
I can't be associated with this.
She's a love to me.
She watched me on America's Got Talent
and she books me.
I've never met her.
She loves you.
She's a manipulative psychopath.
Listen, what's, no, she's not.
She's a soulless dragon lady.
Are you talking about Christine?
No.
No, Esti. Can I just make it clear that I'm Taylor Tomlinson. Are you talking about Christine? No. No, Estie.
Can I just make it clear that I'm Taylor Tomlinson.
I'm so happy to be here.
Of course.
I'm Robert Kelly, and I love Estie.
This message is approved by Robert Kelly.
Yeah.
Well, Taylor Williamson loves her.
I thought she sleeps in a crypt at night.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
She's sweet.
She has no a crypt.
To who?
To me.
Yes.
To Colin.
To you.
To Norton.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To Toma Papa.
To Keith Robinson, hello.
So can I tell you, I cursed for the first time
on stage at the Comedy Magic Club
after performing there for probably like 18, 19 years,
and I was like, I'm just gonna go for it
because this is who I am now.
What'd you say?
I said fuck.
You said fuck?
Yeah, yeah.
That's when he goes, the buildup dude, he goes, dude.
I thought about it so hard.
The gloves are off.
And I didn't ask anybody,
because there's a lot of older, respected, respect hard are off And I didn't ask anybody cuz like it has like there's a lot of like older respected
Respect you know I don't ask their advice if they're like don't do it. You know what I mean they say don't do it
Well, you're fast, but like I'm talking relatively clean, but you're not a squeaky clean. I'm not squeaking clean guy. You know like I am
Clean in the last couple weeks
Seriously, I don't know what you guys talking about. I'm changing things up. Oh, I didn't know that.
He doesn't masturbate to porn anymore
and he's squeaky clean comedy now.
Yeah, squeaky clean.
That's my new album, Squeaky Clean Kelly.
He's getting really rigid and formal.
And then he bought his son an AR-15,
so we'll see where it goes.
It was a Ruger 22.
It was an Uzi.
I think you could be the Raffi of comedy.
Yeah, you're good for the kids.
I almost did a clean album.
I almost tried to do a clean album.
Yeah? Yeah.
People have suggested that to me before,
like, dude, do a clean and blow everyone's minds.
I'm like, I can't.
It would blow my mind.
It's not that hard.
It's not that hard.
You could do a clean album.
I think I'm so impressed with this.
I don't disagree with people when they go,
being dirty is like a crutch.
I guess it is to me, but it's always kind of the funny
that I was drawn to being the most.
But not even always with my, like I said before,
I think what you, I think what Nate Barghetti,
Brian Regan, the people that you don't even overthink
that it's clean, it just happens to be clean,
is such a fucking skill, man.
It's such an amazing skill.
I think being dirty is a skill too,
because if you can be dirty and say outrageous,
fucked up shit and people don't get offended.
Right, no, it's a different thing.
It's trying to make them like, yeah,
like just laugh at the funny and not be like,
I'm definitely looking for shock.
When I was younger, that's why I went that direction
out of the gates, it was pretty natural,
but also, and when I watched this,
I can call it in people too, where I go,
you just don't want silence.
So you're happy to just go like,
and then her pussy was sludgy blood, cum dump, whatever,
because if they go, oh, you're like, noise.
Thank God.
That was one of your greatest bits,
the pussy and sludge cum-cum?
Once I ironed it out. Yeah, it was good. Yeah. Well people have to find the nuance in it
Can I tell you the first person I saw who was like dirty but like funny and like live?
I wish I got to work with Robert Shimmel. Yeah. Oh, yeah, did you ever see like you know, of course you saw
You know what he did he did he did Vegas and he called it a triple X show and I was like, oh shit
I'm gonna go see him tripleX. He was just regular dirty.
It's just dirty, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, regular dirty.
He just said fuck.
It's just adult.
It's just mature themes, but it was nothing.
Robert Schiml would come to Comedy Magic Club,
because there was always the asterisk,
I love asterisks, love them,
but Comedy Magic Club would be work-related,
but then Daniel Tosh would come in
and be ridiculously filthy.
And I was like a 19-year-old, I'm like, like I was like a 19 year old make this is not fair
I like rules this is not for George Carlin would come in and I
Think if you make like 20 million dollars a year you're allowed to do whatever you
If you make
$20,000 you can do whatever you want one day one day I can do whatever my only my only time
Performing there was the night. I actually did see it's the only time I've ever seen Tosh live.
He was great.
He's funny, man.
He's so funny.
But he's crazy.
Yeah, yeah, he's really, really funny.
I get it.
Well, now he's doing the podcast.
I guess he's still touring.
I mean, that show was just killer.
Wasn't that?
The Tosh.0, I mean, was such, like I said,
just like on a, I didn't religiously watch it,
but it's one of those things whenever it's on.
We used to DVR it even once in a while,
because at nighttime, we'd just go into bed like pop,
but it's always hilarious.
Wasn't that Patrice's show first,
and then Brewer took it over,
and then they just redid it over there?
That was Web Junk.
Well, Web Junk is what you're thinking.
Web Junk was MTV.
Same idea, but there was 80 shows doing that.
Ridiculousness is that.
There are all these shows.
Talk Soup.
Talk Soup was the original of that.
Talk Soup, yeah.
The idea, what Dale Tosh they'll toss just again Patrice
I know cuz I did an introducing movies like spike TV thing with him once
He's not
He'll take the job of being sometimes he would at least I guess
Take the job of having to be a little sillier and whatever than he's used to being and then not really do the part
Right, you know, I mean, So I think when he did Web Junk,
it's just not really his thing.
What Daniel Taj did with that show is unbelievable.
Patrice couldn't have done it.
It's a different kind of humor.
And he was fucking great.
They had Patrice on Ellen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They were like, all right, when you come out,
you have to dance.
He was like, nah.
Cause you know when Ellen,
everybody would come out and do that stupid dance.
He was like, I'm not dancing. Yeah, but Christine actually said she was surprised
how silly he was on that show,
sort of based on what he, like, his comedy.
You just know him as a stand-up comic
for so long before the show.
He, to have his silliness and, like, the pranks he would do
and he would jump in and, like, I mean,
there's the ripping in the tearing scene
where he, like, gets on the floor and ripping in the Terran scene where he like gets on
The floor and I was so surprised that money will
giggle
Make you giggle like a bitch. Did you see that clip of Zach Elfenakis in the audience at Ellen?
No, it's like when these viral YouTube clips on 15 years ago
But he was just in the crowd watching the show him and his wife and they're like cuts the crowd dancing
He's just before he's famous. He's just like dying like having a ball he's dying not oh not
have a fun Google fun Google for your fans that I was like Zach he was crazy
and this wasn't a bit this looks like a sketch but this is before he's famous
and the crowd who got mad at Ellen because like they said they're afraid of
clowns and these had like a clown fucking jump out of them
Clown jump out of a thing at them
Did you see more II with primordial dwarfs
No, no, oh you guys oh no, this is like yes
I have they're the ones that look like adults sort of like they're the Benjamin Button people
I don't know if they're Benjamin, but I don't know like Benjamin Button people are like the reverse like they're they're the Benjamin Button people. I don't know if they're Benjamin Button. I don't know. Like, Benjamin Button people are, like, reverse.
Like, they're born old.
I don't know.
I've never heard of Benjamin Button.
Not Benjamin Button.
Dr. Moreau people.
OK, Benjamin Button is a guy who's born a fool, six foot tall,
and he gets tiny.
Benjamin Button is a guy who gets younger as he gets older.
He's aging backwards.
But does he come out as a baby?
No, I think it comes out normal.
This, I think, will work.
The primordial thing isn't that
Moreau the doctor was a little tiny so
Maury povich had a sec like this intro for the whole episode was like little people who were like a foot tall You know pojoria
Perjury that one too. No, that's what I'm thinking. Dr. Moreau. This is different. What do you say? I'm sorry
But the whole promo and that watch the episode is like,
hey, where's my primordial door friend?
And he opens the drawer, not in here.
Opens the cabinet, not in here.
This is like real.
Morrie was great.
How's he, did he see a light?
He was great.
He's okay.
Joe Jones died.
He's married to that alcoholic Chinese lady.
Yeah, Connie Chung, dude. Just coming home home fucking hitting the sockie and cracking his ass
They just did an interview and she's fucking still just a slob drunk
Yeah, I guess I'm gonna go home and sit on that round eyes face for a half hour
Mari povich though. He was evil things that he would laugh is that we had that when we played like the woman's afraid of balloons
So they come out and they just have bring a bunch of of balloons to where she freaks out and she runs backstage but what they had planned
is backstage is just covered in below like she had a run through balloons and
she's just like crying and like crawling out like a like an injured Marine and
they're in the audience like you idiot but this boy was like, Jerry Springer officially had act hired actors and a lot of
those like judge shows are actors, but Maury was real, right?
Yeah.
I mean, the judge ones, I think they have actors a lot.
I mean, my cousin was on Judge Steve Harvey.
Did you ever see?
I'm name dropping.
Did you ever see Pet Justice with Gary Busey?
Oh yeah. Pet Justice. Have you talked to the guy who created it? Yeah
Well, I love this guy he's like he's running a big company and he's like, yeah, this is what I did my free time
Like what? Yeah, he created Pet Justice
Gary Busey. Yeah, I mean judge Steve Harvey's a pretty funny thing too
honestly, I sent you to purple suits.
So, Gary Busey comes to the Comedy Store.
He does?
Yeah.
You know who came in the other day?
Is he a problem?
I, not to me, I see him on the, is he doing comedy or is his daughter doing comedy?
Something going on.
That's a good Comedy Store question for a Comedy Store regular.
What's the most, what's the biggest fuck-up?
You've seen a celebrity making there not a comic
Celebrity showing up to the show because it definitely had I brought
Lucas Rossi
celebrity
light but I brought Lucas Rossi there when I was doing goddamn comedy jam with him and he was
So shitty to the state
He was like yelling with the staff
and in a weird thing with them and I had to go like smooth it over it was so
uncomfortable I remember Cole Hauser at Dublin's was trashing Dane really
whole time fuck fucking fucking ass who the fuck is this shit everybody's up his
dick I was like yeah that's my friend I really like you too. He gave me an HBO show.
He's a little he's loud. This is energy. Not everybody's cup of tea I guess. The fucking
guy runs around going whoo whoo whoo whoo who's a fuck. You know this is good because like I'm
trying I've been doing this for 20 years and I had some ups in my career but like I'm trying
to rebrand and I feel like I need more edge and I need to like talk shit more you know yeah, I can say shit on this show
I'm a comedy magic club guy for years like I gotta become a bonfire guy try saying so I'm gonna talk shit about somebody
Let's talk some shit, but add a motherfucker and a cocksucker and let's say both
I could do one or the other but both
Let me say this as someone who likes you too and doesn't want to set
you up for a bad situation.
Just know when you do jump into this world of telling us how a celebrity fucked up,
which I agree you should do it.
I would, but I many, many years ago now, about nine years ago almost, eight, nine years ago, started making fun of a little forgotten who was he,
kinda has been named Corey Feldman.
And now, here we sit nine years later,
he's heard it all and he really hates us.
He hates Bobby because of it.
Bobby's not even involved.
Did he do it?
Does he hate you?
He hates...
You're a collateral.
He wanted us removed from his concert with Limp Bizkit the other day.
It was...
How did he know you were there?
He let you check the guest list?
No, he just...
He knows.
Well, the head of security was a fan of ours and he was asking if he can have us out and
the guy was like, they're not bothering you, which he's right.
He said, well, at least where are they?
He goes, well, look for the most enthusiastic fans in the crowd.
That's what they said? That's what the security guy said he told them. goes, well, look for the most enthusiastic fans in the crowd.
That's what they said.
That's what the security guys said he told them.
And we were.
We were the most, we gave him the day of his life,
Corey Feldman.
That's all we wanted to do.
And we got everybody else.
They're like, what?
Why would these people give a shit so much
and then we made everyone get into it?
Everybody, and now people never showed up
at the beginning of the show.
If you look at the concert, the traction,
now at the beginning of the show, a lot look at the concert, the traction, now at the beginning of the show,
a lot of people are showing up to see Corey Feldman
and enjoy the experience, which is Corey Feldman.
Can I be honest?
Can I be fair?
Like, it's hard to be an as-
Say motherfucker.
Listen, motherfuckers.
Ooh, nice.
Listen, Corey Feldman, motherfucker.
I'm gonna tell it like,
do you know how hard it is for a performer
to be in the crowd and be a good audience member?
It's very hard.
Wanna be careful, mother cocksucker motherfucker?
There you go, dude, I mean.
You did rolls off your tongue.
Am I calling you a, or Corey, Corey.
Don't do that.
Sorry, Mr. Kelly.
This isn't cocksucker.
Call me a motherfucker.
I'm sorry, Mr. Kelly.
I'm a cocksucker.
If one slips out though, if you get one in, it's fine.
I'm a cocksucker.
Amongst guys, you know what I mean? But like, so, but one in, it's fine. I'm a cock sucker, yeah. Amongst guys, you know what I mean?
But it's like, be careful you wish for it.
I'm a pro wrestling fan, you know, it's on the list.
And then, I get hooked up.
I don't get, if I want tickets in LA,
like you're on your own, Ontario, California,
front row money in Iran.
I'm like-
Buddy, I'm a big fan, too. I know I know
Fucking piece of shit
What are we doing here? Why are we gonna suck a cock
People off I liked it. I'm sorry. I'm I'll suck cocks? I'm not as confused as you. It throws people off though, I liked it. I'm sorry.
It's a mile, make people go like, what?
And then you're gone.
But the point is, usually you got tickets
to wrestling shows, they put you hard on the camera side
so you can just chill and be cool, VIP, whatever.
They put me on the side where the camera looks at you.
Wow.
And I'm not kidding, you know me a little bit,
it was my childhood dream slash adult worst nightmare,
so I have to be like, I don't wanna be the asshole in the front row. You gotta be a little bit. It was my best, my childhood dream slash adult worst nightmare, so I have to be like,
I don't wanna be the asshole in the front row.
I wanna be like how you guys were at Corey Feldman.
You're like, yeah!
Yeah, you cheer the good guys and you boo the bad guys
and you have a good time and you were cheering the good guy.
But he turned heel on you.
No, he was, we turned heel on him a long time ago.
We were the heels.
He was the baby face.
Wait, so Mr. Feldman, I don't know, these guys are cocksuckers.
He's just the most unlikable baby face ever.
It is hard to be a good audience as a performer and it is to have to put that on.
I tell you, though, as far as wrestling goes, this bummed me out.
This was probably the end of the me and Dan Soder era of Bonfire.
That's not when he left?
No, no, no, no.
When he said, hey, I'm gonna go do something else.
No, no, I'm saying this might have been
the catalyst to that.
I'm gonna fill in, I'm gonna get my old friend
to fill in for me.
No, this is my...
Good luck, guys.
I think this might have been the catalyst
for him realizing that maybe it was time
for him to move on.
Was one night we were off,
there was no Legion of Skanks after this on a Monday. Monday Night Raw was happening at the Garden,
well no, Barclays Center.
And he was like, we were like,
hey, you know what, I looked up tickets during the show,
remember, I was like, man, me and Cristino go also.
And we went, and I'm not a big wrestling fan,
when I was a kid I loved it.
Probably up into my early 20s even,
then I just kinda lost track of it.
But I was like, but Dan, so they're a hardcore fan.
And we go with him and we're sitting with him at this show
and I felt so bad, cause I'm like laughing at everything
and having a good time and clapping and cheering with him.
But he wants to be a childlike wrestling fan.
And I just remember the one time when some music dropped,
it was the Shield getting back together was the big
deal. You were there? The shield got back together and they came out and the place, when they
play the music, the place went and Soder started to stand up with it and then
looked over at me and I just I didn't do anything. He just looked at me and and
sat back down and just gave like a little like to himself like a like an
elbow fist to plummet. Yes! And I was like dude please like you're making me feel He just looked at me and sat back down and just gave a little to himself, like an elbow, fist, palm, yes.
And I was like, dude, please, you're making me feel bad.
Do it, do the thing.
I just don't know who the people are, but I'll follow you.
You know what you did wrong?
You yucked his yum.
I didn't, it wasn't on purpose.
You yucked his yum.
I didn't know to scream at the shield.
Buddy, when everybody, listen, wrestling is pretty easy when people scream you scream
Boo, you boo. I would have pretty it's children and idiots
Second you got to give me a second to put my drink there
So I'm like I would have stood up to I did the things everybody did
It was just he started to and then when I wasn't right away
He just held himself back and just and it bummed me out.
I was like, oh man, I'm fucking up your night.
Not on purpose.
I've had that.
I've taken people to concerts where I'm asking them 7,000 times like, isn't this crazy and
great?
And they're like, yeah, no, I'm having a good time.
Well, tell your face to tell me that because it doesn't seem like it at all.
I saw Rich Foster that once I don't have a shit face
You made a woman cry in the crowd. Did he say that's all my time
Why why do you make her cry he I adore him, you know, but
I didn't do my shit talking. Yeah, I got my shit talking.
I got my, I'm not saying he's not Rich Voss, I adore him.
He's been good to me in my life, you know?
He supports Israel, I like him as a Jewish man, you know?
He goes a little hard, I'm like, Rich, I'm Jewish,
but leave me out of this, you know?
That's how I feel.
Him and Aaron Berg have become so much more Jewish.
Berg got new Jewish tattoos, which I would love is ironic.
And I said that was the best when, uh, when Voss posted the Israeli
muscular lion is the funniest.
I think it was rich. Are you Jewish? But not like that.
This is the news. Yeah. That looks like you. What are you talking about?
It's like you mixed with triple H. We showed that to Bonnie McFarlane. She goes I muted him
What's I remember watching you guys on tough crowd
Growing up like like like that's make you feel so like I was not a child. I was not too I was
Getting worse I was one. I wasn't born yet mom
But I remember like on the show like rich Ross took out you guys were goofing on his star of David tattoo
I think he's the first you to get a tattoo. No, he had a tattoo. That's all the
Never never again. Never again. Never forgets 9-eleven
It's 910 never Never again and never forget.
I forgot.
Yeah, he got a tattoo.
Jews aren't supposed to get a tattoo.
He's the worst.
He has a star of David,
I think two diamond stars of David
that he wears out.
Well, now he wears them out of his shirt,
waiting for someone to challenge him in the audience.
He's waiting for a girl to be like,
you know, they're killing tons of Palestinian people.
I love that.
I love that.
I see he could, I can't, he's like.
Look what he has.
Is he wear those?
Yes.
I love Rich Ross, he's great.
Fucking the Air Moses.
This is my problem is my name's Taylor Williamson
so people don't like, I have to say I'm Jewish
and then people, it seems like I'm saying it, you know.
Is it your mom's Jewish?
Yeah, exactly.
So that stands my situation there.
Yeah, wow.
Mom's Rosenberg.
This is a Goldberg, look at this.
Wow, look at this.
Your last name is Rosenberg?
No, no, my grandmother,
my mother's maiden name is Rosenberg.
Oh, okay, okay.
My grandparents were Rosenberg and Schumann.
My grandmother was maiden Schumann, Rosenberg,
and then my mom, and then my mom just fucking
spread her legs to get us some Christmas.
Wow.
Uh.
To get more gifts?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She wasn't my dad first,
it was some Catholic dude, not religious at all,
but like my biological dad.
But he split, so he didn't give us any Christmas.
And then my step-pop, and he came in.
Big J Rosenberg.
Ugh.
Oh, dude. I'll tell you what, and then my step-pop, and he came in. Christmas time again. Big J Rosenberg.
Oh, dude.
I'll tell you what.
What a shitty.
Probably would have moved me along
a little bit quicker in this business.
Yeah, but nobody would remember your fucking website.
Big J Rosenberg.
But you know what though, to be fair,
I feel like you can make fun of,
you can do that with names the same way
that people go, I can't imagine you having sex.
You can say that for anyone in particular, and you can do that with names the same way that people go, I can't imagine you having sex. You can say that for anyone in particular,
and you can do that for anyone's names.
Bill Goldberg was one of the biggest wrestlers of all time.
Who would have thought that guy?
His name's Bill Goldberg.
Yeah, people would chant Goldberg.
It's just the most Jewish name ever.
There's a bunch of racists down in South Carolina.
Goldberg, wait a minute, what's going on?
Well, I love it.
They don't know, my cousins, I have Goldbergs in my family.
They, like, my cousins live in Georgia,
like in scary parts of Georgia, which is most of Georgia.
And except for your listeners, of course, you know.
I looked up your Reddit.
I'm very scared of your listeners anyways,
but I'm sorry to be here.
No, don't look at Reddit for anything ever.
Oh, it's not good.
I've been on the show for a year.
I've never been.
So smart.
You'll cry.
No, no, no, no.
They don't like me.
Everyone's crazy anyways.
I stay away from that.
They love, they love.
They love Jewish people though.
They love Dan.
They really treat me like I told Dan he has to go.
Like it was my fault.
Yeah, Bobby was like thanks for holding my seat,
get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, like I had stock in the company.
I try to tell them, Dan, abandon all of you.
Yeah, go fuck yourselves.
Love Bobby for what you've done.
That's such a good point, you came to give them entertainment. Yes, yes. Listen, go fuck yourselves. Love Bobby for what you've done.
You came to give them entertainment.
Yes, yes.
Listen, listen, I'm an impartial.
I'm just a nice boy from California here
just to spread love.
Just try to keep Jay afloat over here.
You're keeping his business alive.
Thank you.
Until Mike Fennoyer can step in.
Because Mike's in heavy training right now.
Right now.
And just in case Bobby goes down, he's QB1 though.
And then Mike come back with the way things go.
But you've been, one could argue for the truth,
you've been funnier, I love Dan Soder, he's so funny,
but you've been funnier longer than Dan Soder.
Funnier longer than Soder.
Dan is a different funny, Dan is a cute, adorable funny,
I'm more of a J-funny.
Yeah. People like the cute voice, I mean Dan is a genius. The Dan is a cute, adorable funny. I'm more of a J-funny. Yeah. People like the cute voice.
I mean, Dan is a genius.
The show is much more likely now to be removed at some point.
Yes.
Now, it can be removed.
And you get to talk on the show.
So it's better.
My only problem with Dan Soder.
You're actually getting an interview right now.
I'll do my celebrity shit talk.
You ready? Please. I just did. Dan Soder, funny guy, kind guy, wrestling guy, love him.
But my problem with him is I talked to a girl on a Jewish dating app once, and then she
was like, do you know Dan Soder?
Oh shit.
And I thought I was like using him to get to her, but then I realized she was using
me to get to him.
Yeah.
It was like, am I Shamu?
Jay's been doing that to me. That was, she's been using him to get to her but then I realized she was using me to get to him
Yeah, it was like a nice. I'm J's been doing that to me
Whenever I see Dan I go Bobby is such a wonderful lover
Like not like you were like different like I don't know he has passion is
When I was on vacation, I remember I was,
I don't think, you weren't returning my phone calls
because you do that fucking thing
where you don't return texts and phone calls.
Are you one of those?
Yeah, he's one of those, unless you're Mike Fennoyer,
you talk all day.
It's not true.
It is true.
It's not true.
Show me your call history for the days that you were.
Did you not answer Mike Fennoyer?
Oftentimes, I don't answer Mike Fanoia.
You won't pick up for him.
Of course.
I doubt it. Interesting.
I doubt it.
So do you, are you like.
Yeah, but Lou actually posted, I was like, hey man.
I go, Don, Jay's not calling me back,
I wonder what's up with him.
And then Lou posted a thing with Dan and you
from when you were in Times Square.
I go, I think Dan's back.
She's like, what? I go, I think Dan and Jay from when you're in Times Square. I go, I think Dan's back.
She's like, what?
I go, I think I think Dan and Jay go back together.
Did he come back somehow?
What if I could finish out the year?
No, Dan's not coming back.
So long trip to the bottom.
I thought, but I but Lou, but Lou.
Yeah, but I didn't see that kid.
Kid Rock. I didn't see that.
I just saw the first one. So like, I think Dan and Jay, I think Dan's back.
Maybe that couch cast didn't go as well as he thought.
Look at us with Kid Rock, dude.
Yeah, we with Kid Rock.
I didn't forget you, Bob.
Yeah, you didn't.
Here I am.
Can I show you another photo I have
for my presentation today for your radio show?
Please.
Is it your penis?
I could find one if you'd like.
But that wasn't on my list of anecdotes.
I don't want to take you off path,
but I'd look at a picture of your wiener.
But I was at the LAX airport in the Uber lot,
and there was a graffiti, I don't know what you call it,
it was a sticker illegally posted.
Is that graffiti?
That's not graffiti.
Yeah, we're not gonna CSI you a bit.
Go ahead, man. It's not a bit. It's not graffiti. Yeah, we're not gonna CSI you a bit. Go ahead, man.
We'll get to you.
It's not a bit.
It's not like-
Your antidote.
Antidote.
Antidote.
Antidote, sorry.
I don't use that.
I just say things I wanna talk about.
An illegal poster.
Like someone illegally posted a bonfire.
It says dance order though,
but it's a bonfire sticker.
Yeah, that's great.
We gotta get, this is how you know you have drop security.
Get them, ask them to make some new stickers
with your name on it.
We have, they have it. I'm actually
Actually dance faces still on the app. Yeah
On the app. Well, they just put a picture of Bobby over dance face
Look at your past. What does it say? Whose name does it say on there? It says guest of Dan Soder
Yeah, I don't know why that still happens I'll tell you you why. You guys are holding on strong for hope.
Listen, can I be honest?
100% all the passes say guest to Dance Soder.
If the leaders of Sirius XM are here, I would just personally, as a fan of the show, I would
love to have Dance Soder back on it.
You don't think they have meetings about that?
We had a six hour meeting today only about that.
Will he come back? Yeah, yeah. They have meetings about it. Yeah have a six hour meeting today only about that. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, they have meetings about it.
Yeah, I'm crazy.
Snap into a damn soda.
They're uh,
I'll tell you where they're at in negotiations.
They're willing to let
me and Bobby go if Dan will come back.
Ah, that would fucking hurt.
I feel so bad.
Hey guys, I would do the show for half the price that they're charging you. I just want to nice
We have a public access deal here guys 10% of what I get paid to the security guy told me when I got my pass
Hey, you gotta come back in five months when you contracts up in case they don't renew it. I was like, okay
Now the new special live at the Comedy Store,
where'd you film that?
I, listen, I can't tell you,
I've been thinking about changing the name.
Is that weird that I released it?
I wanna change the name.
What are you gonna change it to,
a cock-sucking motherfucker?
You know what, I think so,
cause like I chose to not curse at all in this thing.
I was like, you know what,
if I aim for the algorithm,
I was literally thinking maybe that'd be smart.
It would be pretty hilarious to name it something
just pure filthy dirty is funny.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, call it pure filthy.
Cunt fuck.
Cunt fuck.
Taylor Williamson, cunt fuck.
That's really good people will click on it.
They'll be like, what's going on here?
And just by the way, you love asterisks.
C asterisks asterisks T, F asterisks asterisks K.
Yeah.
Wait, that was hard.
Oh, I see, because I'm not saying the words.
Yeah, yeah, it's still not written. And then when I say, I see, because I'm not saying the words. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's still not written.
And then when I say it out loud and I go on classier shows, I'll be like, no, no, no,
it means can't fart.
Exactly.
Hey, you should put, put cops lives matter.
Oh, can't fart.
Do that one.
You know what?
Blue lives matter?
Yeah, blue lives matter.
I want to grift so hard and I'm really trying to find my grift and like I'm so down, like
what is, Honestly, please.
Dude, put From the River to the Sea.
See what happens.
With a star David at the end, confuse them.
There's too many Jews doing that.
I can't do that one.
I'm with Rich Voss on this one.
Say, I'd like a ceasefire, but death to Israel.
Yeah.
Just everything's confusing.
Taylor Williamson has a live from the Comedy Store
streaming now on YouTube.
Abortion is murder, but I ain't keeping this baby.
You can find the podcast Abortion is Murder, but he ain't keeping the baby.
And the other one he's doing, Almost Alpha, wherever you listen to shows.
Thanks for coming on.
Are you done with me?
That's it, show's over.
Show's over.
Well I gotta kinda say shout out to Jerry Brisco Jr., Joe Brisco Jr.
You guys call him Jerry Brisco Jr. and he's your biggest fan and he listens to every show
He's great. His dad is a Gerald briscoe. Yeah from wrestling
Have him on your show. I'd love to have him on the show. Thank you for having you guys are a delight
I'm so I can't say I'm really such a fan of both of you guys and Kristian. Thank you for having me
So like hell, yeah, man. Thank you. Check out special live at the Comedy Store. We'll be right back
Well, we won't be right back. Say goodbye. Hopefully we'll be back. Maybe. Doubtful though. I might. You might. You'll definitely be back.
Who knows. It's the bonfire.