The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Giggling Like a School Girl
Episode Date: April 26, 2022Midroll- 24:51The guys recap their Austin trip, highlights include a street brawl and an embarrassing DJ Lou.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM ap...p! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder.
What's up everybody?
It's up dogs.
The bonfire.
We're back in the studio everyone, back at NYC.
It's faction talk, Series X M 103.
I'm Big J. Okreson.
That hunka, that hunka hilarious over there is Dan Soder.
Stop, the packaging always gets me.
The crew am so excited, the crew is all back together.
I know Jacob hates it with a passion, but he's here
Jacob a ton everybody and of course he's in his concrete hell our black king the black tiger Lewis
Christie Marie Evans add
Thank God, I mean my lord. We are on a full-on amber alert today for Lew whiskey. Thank God DJ Lew whiskey. I
Reach out to your brother via tech via Instagram. Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, we were I was pretty sure you were dead
It was a coat yellow bout to go code red. Yeah, I just thought you were dead
Why I made it to every single show I did yeah, I've both of yours. I don't think I missed an event
I don't know if you missed an event at all either,
but you were fun at some of them.
Trudin see it, the parish.
What do you mean I was there?
Lou got, you fucking killed it.
Lou got goose, goose on the last night.
He came out back in the alley after a year's show,
after the worst.
I hadn't seen him that day until then,
and he came out hammered.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then I watched Michelle before she let a cigarette study him.
I watched I watched Michelle do a full reading of an ocular reading of Lou in the back. Man,
is she great. Uh, Michelle is. What a bonding experience. Oh, yeah. Watching her and Lou and she you can by the way this Thursday here
The live from Moon Tower show I would argue to say one of our best live shows. It was so fun. Yeah, it was right. You jake up fucking did amazing
Paget amazing black Lou on the ones and twos you'll see it was great
Jessica Kerson was fucking hilarious. We had a great time the whole show so that's this Thursday
From 5 to 7 on faction talk by the way, this is the bonfire serious XM faction talk 103. Did you say that all of it?
I announced the entire crew damn am I
Are you yeah
Fantastic to watch it. He's good. He's good people watching
He's good person watching.
When you can spot him, because he is,
like he'll just disappear and you won't see him.
He zips and zaps.
He's all over the place.
Do you feel alive in Austin?
Yeah, I do.
And the campaign didn't hurt either.
Damn dude, so we should say the Antones,
the venue was shipped a couple cases of some campaign,
and they sold it during Moon Tower
and Lou drank a lot of camping.
By the way, you drank them too, right?
Yeah, for sure.
I will say also, every show I did
moving forward from Bonfire at Antones,
which was several comedy jam every night,
people in the audience were drinking camping.
Oh, that's great.
They'd hold them up when I came on stage and stuff. That's really cool. I would make jokes. Oh my god. You guys are all whacked out on can wine.
They'd be like, well, they don't hold them up in the air. That's great.
Yeah, they were lovely. I heard the Austin PD sent Jacob's brother of bouquet for all the deweys.
They're, oh my god. Thank God. Thank God it's a walking town. We're thinking about building
another bridge just because. Thank God it is a walking town.
Yeah, DJ Lou on the last night.
Dan's a bit of an early bird on hanging too too late.
I get it, it's like a drinky fucking.
Yeah, everyone's drunk and it's, but I will say when you go back,
you miss just like the real underbelly of the festival where it starts things start getting heated up
And exciting DJ Lou on the last night of comedy jam
Jason Sklar of the Randy and Jason Sklar the Sklar brothers who are absolutely fan today
We go to LA. We need to have them in studio or they're making it out here first.
They're so funny. They're so fucking funny and they're such great guys.
I love seeing the Sklar brothers. Um, there's just yeah, they're, they're,
they're lighthouses at a festival. Yeah, hell yeah, dude.
And they also went over there. They used to do commentary on the moon tower ping pong tournament.
Yeah. And it's always funny. It's very, very fun. It's great.
Yeah.
They did one of my favorite things ever on comedy jam this year that just became a thing,
the entire weekend from Thursday, Friday and Saturday on.
They sang Centerfold by Jake Giles band.
Yeah.
And you know, at the end of the song, it has like a fall sending.
It sounds like it's done.
And they go, two, three.
Shake it, shake it. Da, da, to get down on and it comes back one more time
So they did at the end of their song
Like three times they did like they'd ended again after like the thing and then it'd be like all right guys
Thank you so much to three shick it to get the
Thank you is a set of all
Just a non-on-os. Oh just a non-on-os because you know the part I'm talking about yeah at the very end
Do you actually know when talking about single play? Okay, yeah, no go to another song
No, no go to the end of the song the no when it when it dies out and then it comes back
That's the point goes to you gave me two options out of that right here
I do remember that now so So they did it three times.
They brought like three times.
And then what I went on stage is kind of like tab Joe and I was like, we're going to do
it again.
And I got a stage and I just went, ah, two, three, and every time I would do it, the
Sklar brothers come back on stage and the whole audience is doing it.
That's great.
And just for the next three nights at Comedy Jam,
it would just come up randomly.
And there wasn't one time I was on stage
where I didn't do it, except the second night,
which was one of the funniest things to me of the weekend.
Talk about it was Friday night,
talking about being a goose up on a can wine, on campaign.
I told Josh and the Slar brothers very had a powwow with them to make okay guys when I'm gonna when I go on stage
After you guys because they did it at the end of their song that night too and I go when I go up tonight
I'm just gonna go you guys want to see the most fun thing in the world and
Then I was gonna do two three
She can take it down to and they were gonna run out of sclarbo's prepared for that and everything
I went on stage with my can of wine and I just start talking to the crowd
Too long I gotta sing the god damn song and I'm having a good time and Josh goes
Like he's trying to get me there. He goes hey, man. You want to do the most fun thing in the world now?
What?
He goes
You want to do the most fun thing in the world? I'm like
Josh, do you have sex with me? He's like no man the most fun thing in the world and I go I
Get what you're doing job, but I don't know what the fuck your talk. I mean such a thing of like
Josh right what a jerk off and he goes. He's gonna go my way goes
The two three oh yeah two three
I had to give Josh as kudos I go I was so mean to Josh and that back and forth
I used to get you there 100% right he goes it was y'all right. Yeah, the whole thing was my plan
You're just wine drunk for getting your plan totally.
And then I sang clocks poorly, but it was fun.
But the underbelly, the last night of comedy jam, Lou
came obliterated in the sqar brothers.
The sqar brothers.
Lou loves them because their twins also. They're identifying. We're gonna get you kids checked up together and we're just, oh, what are we just, why don't we kill them then, huh?
We'll just kill them then.
I remember that.
We just kill them.
If it's just, we're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them.
We're just gonna kill them. We're just gonna kill them. We're just gonna kill them. We're right, what are we just what are we kill them then, huh? We'll just kill them then I remember that
We just kill them if it's so bad. I'm like, what no, it's not so bad. I know I say to kill him
He goes slaughter brothers just go together there. I go live together, dude. They have family
No, they do they have to sleep together all the twin law and I asked Jason I said do break twin law. So he's told me I wonder if
he twins can see other sets of twins clear like the matrix. Nope. Like you have twin eyes. I'd say something there was no just
bound by twinsies emotion. I was hoping to spoke a language. I was speaking it. I was definitely speaking it. Zurbdab, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw,aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw, d'aw,aw, d'aw,aw, d' Situation never got a chance to call Jason Sklar popped out for a second And he was like, you know, like wanted to smoke a joint
And he's like, oh yeah, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, uh, he's like, we didn't hear that I was a kid and then Lou
just
He goes, I'm a twin. I said this a long time ago to you, but I'm a twin and uh, he goes and I get it and then something he starts
I mean and
Jason Sklar is definitely doing like that So he's like the okay guy and I go this is Louis the producer of bonfire
That didn't change things lose like yeah, and I'm a twin and I did and the thing and I saw you guys the first time
I saw you guys did a thing and he's like cool man. Thank you
He's like no man. You know you guys got a such good thing. And it's got one of the things he says.
You have such a good thing.
And you guys are going to be so huge.
Like you're still young.
You still got time, which is a weird, weird fucking thing this day.
To which one does Lute? Is that hurt knowing you said that?
Yeah, dude, that hurts.
I do remember it now that you say if I blocked it out.
And then people are saying you're down and out, but I don't see it.
I don't see it at all. you still got to zip on the ball and then
Jason Sklar like Lou lays the whole thing and Jason's got like
Sort of sarcastically he goes thank you man. That's really really awesome if you just say that and Lou
Goes and I quote
He just had a belly hold a belly hold like giggle noise
It was to me and Michelle did each other like what the fuck was that?
It sounded like a delightful laugh Jason's car went inside
I read it before he wanted to a lot of laugh. I mean it wasn't even it was a you know
It was so buoyant happy
Yes So buoyant happy please Yes
Were you just so happy to connect yes, but I didn't want to connect in that way
So I just let it all out no quick rapid fire
With this cigarette like and you and twins and I got and I know and you know and him a thing and that guy same
Boom same birthday
In my mind I think I'm holding back like I think thank God I didn't say that but I said everything.
That's my favorite thing.
He said to me afterwards.
He goes, guys you don't know I go, I'm so drunk because you don't think of all the things
that I, think of all the things that I didn't say and I go, you should stop focusing on
the things you didn't say and really spend some time on the things you did.
Well I'll do it again next year.
See if he remembers that.
Oh yeah dude.
I say do it every year. I wouldn't change a goddamn thing about that moment
He's goes he goes all right cool, man. Thank you very very much. I appreciate that
My energy is walkie-be-lined inside and me and Michelle
Michelle has RG dropped a burger
You got the burger on the ground
So what else guys what else? Oh, I'll tell you the greatest reality TV ever view if you had a camera crew follow him for a weekend in Austin
I guarantee you that yeah, we have some couldn't get a crew to do just put a body cam on them
We have something like that. Yeah, I have something like that mind is called you and Lou in a place for a week with black Lou
instigating the
Author Apple big Jim presents the author Apple
I've gotten more on the road since we brought this up the author of by the way
I've never a Dan of you on the road had people say I've had more people come up to the road
But yeah, the author will has to have I've heard people be like I'd throw in money to make that happen
People really want to see the author Apple. You got a taste of it this weekend. Oh, yeah, we did. It was great. Oh, and then Lou, as he's known to do,
he stayed for my song, which is very sweet. All your songs and all your comedy. Yeah, all my songs
got, I'll tell you this, this was the funny thing. So a person asked, a little shittily, I think,
as she wasn't there called.
It's not anybody who was important in the festival
or anything, but they were just like,
Lou also, the mind blow, I watched him go through.
So after he has his moment with Jason Sklar,
they go inside and Josh has a guy from the audience
who was there every night.
I think he seems Brad. Good dude.
He brought him on stage and let him play guitar for a minute.
And the guy started playing, uh, what the fuck was this?
I was a Pearl Jam song. A slow one. Black.
It wasn't black. Damn, you don't remember. You you were in and you don't have
any recollection of what it was. Now It's uh, uh, last kiss.
The chorus gets real big.
What's that song?
I'm going hungry.
No, that's temple to dull.
Oh, you know, difference.
Don't throw sideways at me.
No, it's a good, a popular elderly woman.
Play it.
I seem to recognize your face. No, no, I can't believe you
don't remember it at all. Christine, you could text Josh, my not another name of it. I might
have been in the alley for this. You sure I was there for that? Dude, that I know you were
there for it. I watched you more than I watched this guy shrapnel from the audience. He's
fascinating. Fascinating. Yo, that's better. Yo, that's better. Huh? Yo, that better. Play. You have to play them. I don't know the names.
Yeah, it's not going to record. You're only like rock, rock, rock, rap.
Yeah. Rock, rap, rock.
Rib, rock. Yeah, rib, rib, rib, rap, rock.
Ragnar, rock. Thanks. It was probably that's.
Ragnarok. Thank.
It was.
Oh, that's.
I know the beginning.
Just to watch Lou perk up in the alley hearing it feel like.
Sorry, from the beginning.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Is this it?
Yes.
The play from the beginning though?
Just to know that Lou's back there and he goes,
no, then I connected with one of the twins.
But then the other twins said that he would be around
and I could tell my whole story again.
And then...
LAUGHTER
This is not like a prairie dog.
No, actually, we went inside,
because I knew the scars were on next, but Josh like a audible and brought this car from the audience playing guitar
Who and he goes just play something and the guy just started playing the song?
So then the band joined in and Josh sang like a verse and a half of it or something and of course and
Lewis the lose already in heaven I brought him in the watch thing is like will should be here. I brought will should be here
Who's the one thing? He's like, Will should be here. I brought Will should be here.
Did you snimper on to fucking song?
God never got it.
What's really great. Will should be.
What's great is, while Lou is, while Lou can't believe what's happening,
he's got a, Michelle I can only describe this as having Puerto Rican stink face at him,
like, this one sucks too.
And Lou, the best is Lou is,
Lou thought he was watching a movie at the Magic Johnson
Theater because as they go something like the
Sklar Brothers got on stage after this guy played the song
and I knew they were doing a live by Pearl Jam.
Lou didn't know that.
Oh man, double shot.
I was like twins singing Pearl Jam.
Lou's gonna, his ears are gonna bleed.
What's the thing?
Lou's gonna be, wills cleaning a glass out
he goes
all his eyes roll back first at the story they told they did a story
actually before the song a lot of people don't do anymore
jam you go there and sing your song yeah they sing a story about
way early in their career
uh... time that the movie singles and everything was out they had a party
they threw a party somewhere in some of the covering my friend and the friend they brought was Eddie Vetter
Like a young Eddie Vetter. What is it?
Lou?
Arms up. He's like no, no, it's a pot. No way. It's a pot.
And then they go I get is there a rumor that he has a bad eye Eddie Vetter?
That's my knowledge. Oh, I don't do beautiful blue birds. Well, I'll tell you this.
They make a joke they go, uh, we looked him in his eye, you know, the
Slarbugs way they do it because we looked him in his eye, his good eye, he's got one good eye.
And Luke, Luke takes his hat off because, ah, it's not even true!
That's not true!
Oh, he had his hat on his leg.
Oh, come on, bad info!
Luke Martin.
Luke Martin.
Luke Martin out for Pearl Jam is so goddamn funny. He did not like the nigga and then they started doing a live
But I release recording us and feel like it's like old home movies or yeah, I'm um I'm trying to do our radio show
Oh, yeah, yeah, you gotta do this. You gotta go. It's like
You're taking the one you're taking the one you're gonna be in the wonder years
So they play alive and Lou is just
He can't forget the walls. I thought maybe when he then an advancing on me
I really thought that maybe he just like that was it like he ended his life or he just went to the
So it's a real room to Pearl Jamm
He just went to the roof to how with the moon it felt everything
He had all the fields song they uh there was glorious they did a great job
by the way some of you do thank you buddy although I'll tell you what I think I
mean I don't know how you're gonna be twins my favorite my favorite I'll tell
you exactly how you do that is at the end of alive they start doing like the
talking part and we're gonna sad and and they're like why are we doing this sad shit This is a party two three chicken dickin. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it was awesome
So they got it back but then uh, and this was the last night. Yeah
Yeah, this was the last night so then I
Gonna stage up to the finale thing. Oh, this is a really funny one too
Maddie Smith who is just a delight. She's
This is a really funny one too. Maddie Smith, who is just a delight.
She's hilarious and sweet heart and great.
She was blitzed.
And when I, the first time I realized it, she came out
and she was like, she's the Avery,
Avery Pearson.
She was like, what's this?
She was, what's that?
And he was like, it's a pen.
I think she thought he meant, it was just a pen.
She thought he meant like a, like a weed pen or something. And she just like, it's a pen. I think she thought he meant, it was just a pen. She thought he meant like a weed pen or something.
And she just like, hit it.
She was like, it was like,
it's a pulls off of it and it's like, okay.
So, what's the flavor?
So, with the finale, at the finale of the jam,
this is great.
I almost forgot about this.
At the finale of the jam, we did two songs.
They did Bohemian Rhapsody and what's up,
Phornom Blondes.
Classics.
Maddie Smith, drunk and Lee, is leading the judge.
She's right next to Josh.
And I mean, killing it.
Yeah, but not doing bad.
I was so worried because I knew she was drunk
that she had her foot up on the monitor
and I know Josh, I saw him kind of knocking them over
a bunch, I know they're not like stuck in the ground. So as mother
Henish Lee like Stan like please I don't want Maddie to like fall. She's having so much fun. She's saying every word
She had her own Mike. You know them. There's like two or three mics floating around the stage four mics
Maybe then like there's
12 people up there
She had her own Mike dude. She was in the corner just owning it. Things all behemian rafsy. All of what's up?
Uh, what's going on?
And we go outside and everything.
We're smoking and shooting the shit.
And then it's just getting the to go time
to where the next story takes place.
But I go, we're going to go over to P Terry's
to get some food.
She's like, I'm down.
She's, I'm down to do whatever.
Yeah.
I was like, are you going to kind of P Terry's?
And then she goes, then she looks over Christine
And almost like in the sea it may have been that from turn her head from meet a Christine just like zipped her Mm-hmm, and she looked at Christine. She goes well, that's comedy jam though
Christine was like well, she said that to you really like what oh, yeah, she was like what she goes the comedy jam she goes
What which comedy jam? She's like, tonight,
she's like, the one that just ended and she went, she made a face like, no, I was like,
Maddie, you were just like a major part of the finale. She goes, what? I go, we just sang,
we just sang, what's up? And Bohemian Rian rafts you at your own mic you were
foot on the amp you were living it up there she goes time flies when you're not
there yeah that's what she said yeah that's so far no she was fine she goes oh I am
black out when people tell you they're black out as the fight because oh I'm black
out man so then I was like so then I was like So then I was like okay, well, I was gonna we're gonna make sure we get Maddie back to the hotel
Mm-hmm, and then Rebecca comes up and she goes we're going back to the creek to drink and
Time I was talking to Maddie go when's your flight in the morning? She's like I have to leave like 5 a.m
I don't know how the hell I'm gonna do that
Damn, and then that's a young comic thing to do Rebecca walk over fucking party. I'll go hard
Rebecca comes over and she goes who's coming to drink it the thing
She goes you might as well pull an all-nighter then to Maddie and Maddie was like yeah
And I was like now Rebecca. I think she's good. I don't think she could pull on later
She was like sure she can and then Rebecca just took her so I was like all right
She's yours but you know God bless one of my only flights I've ever missed was because of Austin.
When I did South by Southwest in 2012,
I just got hammered and I was like,
I'll just go all night, I'll just go all night
and I'll go right to the airport.
Till 15 minutes before I have to go.
And then we were staying in a part,
South by Southwest, you just had to stay
in like an apartment of a comics.
They didn't give you hotel rooms
because we were doing like the lower end shows.
Louis Katz had a hotel at that old radison,
and he's like, you can put your luggage in my hotel room,
and he had a couch, he had one of the ones
with a little living room in the thing,
and dude, blackout drunk.
Did my shows, blackout, but the same thing like Maddie,
you just liven it up, you're like,
this is the greatest, and I blacked out,
and I woke up on the couch of Louis Hotel as my flight was landing in New York.
And I was like son of a bitch.
I actually, not to make a sound, I go, there's any negative or I'm saying,
I think she had a fucking blast.
Oh, it was a blast.
I think it might have been her first moon tower, I think.
And like, she fucking...
It's awesome.
It's awesome that you can really drink there.
Oh, they can encourage you to.
Yeah, it's a real built-to-drink town
It's it's it's lose mecca. Well, Lou walks around now like he's gone full into the bush
Like he knows how to walk around Maddie's
Experiencing rookie problems. Yes, lose over here fucking being like
We're gonna go the eye and cack this and then what kicking around my buddy John works over at the parish He could probably get he could slide in some shots. I could kick those tires out back in the alley
Many many people walk by not fans even like festival people that were like Lou thanks. Thanks for help
Like he was like working all weekend
Sound checks. Yeah, did you really yeah, first Sean Donnelly show celebrate. That's so great
We had Jessica Kerson. I was the sound guy and then we had those guys JT and Chad from
From so cow. Yeah, you know those fucking awesome guys, but you just step it in and fuck it kill it
I always got to do it. It's like it's like seeing a band with another member of a band you like in it
We go oh my god. Is he playing guitar?
And at this festival and then he looked at himself in the mirror in the bathroom and he asked the mirror
He goes I should have any more can wine.
I'm pretty rift.
And the guy goes, you did a lot today.
Good as aervit.
Hey, none of those other shows would have got off the ground
without you.
Yeah, they would have been no sound for Sean Donnelly.
Go have some.
He's up for can of wine.
Go have some vino.
Have yourself some vino when it came.
Go have some gas vino.
I'm so happy down there.
And then everyone loved, he's so happy down there and then everyone love
he's so beloved down there and then the addition this year of Michelle stink face
yeah at him at time oh yeah it's so Michelle rules it's so great yeah I watched
I watched her watch Lou like a disappointed football coach at one point with
her cigarette in like that's not the play at all. Equally as drunk and looking at Lou like why is he not holding it together as well?
She tried to give you Dan and Jay live advice and I had to pull her away physically. I'm like you're
getting too comfortable. Oh yeah, you know she's fine. She's fine. She was full of love. She was great.
No, she was fantastic. Everyone had a great time there and then I will say and then Lou after
the finale and then Lou was gone. Sue me went back to his room. I guess it's what happened.
You guys went back.
What happened? So after that we went to P Terry's to get a burger. She's great by the way.
Eight it three times when I was in Austin. I'm such a fat little piggy.
But it's open late and everything was done late. Oh my God, I trash the entire week.
The National Austin, it was a real fucking slog.
They were just like, afternoons until late nights
that you're like, what's open?
Yeah, and it's open.
It's usually, that's exactly it.
You're just at the end of the night, like what?
So you think I get local pizza, which is gonna suck,
or fast food, you know, it blows.
Jacob would have just done sit-ups instead. I see him nodding at me.
That same nod when I make ideas for the show. What else can you eat that time of night? You know, it's only McDonald's, right, Jacob?
Yeah.
I mean, it is like a food desert, healthy food desert there. Yeah. You can't get anything there.
Those pitay burders, fucking rule. No, Terry's was fantastic, but we went to P Terry's and it's packed
It was it was late at night. It is
Fucking slam. Well, I've been okay with some of the things that what's up?
Blue or the
P Terry's
If you get there, I even like an hour before the bar shut. It's like pretty fast
Yeah, the other night we went there. We ran it out. I was eating it at 9 30 around 10 o' shut. It's like pretty fast. The other night we went there, we ran
it out. I was eating it at 9.30, around 10 o'clock, because no one was there. That's a great
time. That's a great time to go. We went at 2.30, which is a half hour left. It's a college
town. It's a drinking town. It's one of the old food spots open. It's far from what else it is.
food spots open. It's for what else it is. It is this particular evening. The line consists of
it's like a movie. It was the most abber crombie looking like modally dudes like white dudes and a girl or two with them. And then a bunch of Hispanic dudes with a bunch of girls all wearing dresses that just barely
covered their nips and snatches and varying degrees of should be wearing that.
Of yes, yes, no, no, why?
More knows than yeses, but a couple of yeses.
So I don't know what was said in this line at one point, we're waiting for our food, but
there's there's definitely a hub hub going on.
You can't see any one of them.
Are you guys in the back of the line?
We're waiting for the food at this point.
So you've already ordered.
Yes.
Waiting for the food, but there's a lot of people there.
And which is the place you wanna be before chaos.
You wanna have your order in.
Oh, that was a big deal.
Yeah, in fact, I think one of the reasons
it took us so long that we took us long time
to get our order, but it was because of what happened here.
Oh, you know, the Puerto Rican girls, Latino, I don't know what they were Puerto Rican,
but they were jawing with this one white girl who, so everything is going wrong.
No one here is necessarily likable.
The Latino girls are fucking just barking up.
They're really gettoing it up and fucking making this
much more than it has to be.
I'm certain of it.
But the white people are definitely the girl.
I think it's one of those things like,
the dudes involved, or even trying to ever wanna be like,
you know, shut up bitches.
You know what I mean?
But like the girls are just gonna have,
every Latino girls are going big and screaming
and trying to push through and fight. And the girls are just kind of like having more of like whatever
it's like your trash kind of thought damn dude that's like to that's like a battle of two
different styles of martial arts the fucking the apathetic rich white ladies versus the fiery
poor Latinas that are just want to piece at their own land back.
And it's just a tale of the oldest time.
And it's all going down in front of you guys at a peteries at 2.30 in the morning.
But it seems like the dawns of these mafia families are trying both to not have this
become so much of a thing.
The Hispanic guys being a little more like confrontational.
The guy looks like a pro surfer was having much more of like to all right dude all right all right
Let's just kind of like you know whatever he's he's the most the most reasonable guy and I'll refer to him is that
The rest of the story you're just saying that cuz he's right and I'm so he said it because he's white
No site unseen I was on this honestly walked in mid conflict and told you exactly who's side
He told no everyone seemed like awful people although this guy. I think definitely did not deserve
How it went for him okay because good preview there's so many other
These Latina girls and their dresses up with their puns and their boobs and their ladies. I mean, just firing out like there's more come in and there's another one that was sitting
down and was involved and like, what's going on, bitch?
This tiny, I mean tiny, tiny.
Little T cup to hour.
Five foot at tops.
90 some pounds maybe.
I'll tell you right now.
They put here things you can see through a dress.
She was hot.
She was actually hot.
She starts doing like the charge, like she wants to bust do.
But while everyone's kind of going at it, head on.
Mm-hmm.
So they're in a scrum?
No, they're trying to keep each other.
They're trying to keep the girls away from each other's point.
The guys, the Hispanic girls, boyfriends were like holding them
by their waist, is they're like flailing
and they're just like, apathetically like looking away
Here we go again here. Oh, they do this though the white dudes are kind of like no one's looking to fight except the girls
The guys are getting involved is the white girl looking to fight. I can't see her. She's going to
No, she was
She was she's still talking shit what it was she was
She must have been big.
She must have been because the girls kept fighting reasons
to go back over.
You're fucking tiny.
And look like a child.
Oh, fucking carrier.
Do the tiniest one.
I bet you wear doll shoes.
So fucking kill you.
The tiniest one.
Yeah.
Halls ass through the crowd.
And I'm like, oh, she's going to get this girl.
And we have a naked girl fight momentarily on our hands and I'm like, oh she's gonna get this girl and we have a
Naked girl fight momentarily on our hands
Also Jay's the perfect guy to kick open the p-dare it peteries door and go naked girl
Everyone's like oh sure it's in the middle of six trees they drop their drinks to like go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go
so their drinks to like go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go that got to the most reasonable man in this confrontation and start for
catch a some with like two wild fists from her left and with her right hand
with the phone fucking drills him right above his eye and split some I mean split
and this guy's like holding her arms yeah he catches wrongs like me he's
going like what the fuck is wrong what What's wrong with it? I at that point
Give all kudos to that guy because I'm like I'm sorry world if you're not ready to hear it
That girl would have felt some pain for me. I would have given her a sorely and hot grease behind the thing
No, I said I think she was so smart. I think I'm gonna broken her arms with my hands
I think I would have grabbed her arms and let her go with that. It's out. She was tiny
But I'll be like, no fucking,
you gotta learn, this is your lesson lady,
two broken arms to learn that you cannot,
what's wrong, where in the world do you live
and where you think you're up to a guy,
a man who can kill you with his hands
and split his face up with a phone?
You're gonna get killed.
You should scoop her up like a baby and hold her
and go, you stop it, you're having a temper tantrum.
Now, she's like,
I was about to hurt, I killed you.
Her snatch didn't come out at one point,
which was pretty great.
Full pus?
I thought it was underwear for the split second.
I saw Christine thought it was bush,
but these girls didn't have bush.
It would have been so much bush if it was bush.
Now, I think she had a melvin from a thong.
Dang.
Which could look like a bush.
Stink pussy.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
It probably smelled fine, but it was, uh, she was, and then they, they got them
side-brain. They kind of got the, the Latino people out of the place, but then like,
one of them came back in to get the food still. That's really funny. And being sent back
in ago, did he, do you have to talk to someone that you just fought you go? Did he say number
89? No police is waiting. no involvement from the staff there at
No, no snitches. That's cool. No, no nothing what while it was happening. It was still there were going like like
Like 87 that's from me like they were still and by the way, it's a it's a it's a stand the whole place is no bigger in this room
I wonder if peteries if they sent in a waffle house crew to talk to them on how to behave
So like here's how this is gonna go. You're gonna see some fights. You keep plowing through those tickets
They didn't give a shit. I mean no one got in trouble from what I saw not one person got in trouble
Those how bad as bad as bad people are all outside the rest of the time and we tried the way around the sea when the when the
The preppies came out. I guess no one get, Josh and a minor said the security person that did show up, like
was, was like given knuckle pounds with the girl who put the guys head open.
How bad was that guy bleeding?
Yeah, a bad.
When I came back in, like, did he have to go to the hospital?
No, he went into the bathroom, kind of cleaned it up.
No, no, no, no, he need to stitch 100%.
He was leaking, it was bad.
But is that the first time you saw him
was when he came out of the bathroom?
I saw him right when it happened,
and then I saw him come out.
It was crazy, but I saw him or hit him with the phone.
You're like, damn, and then as soon as from that moment,
it was just like you saw a line form,
and then after a minute or so,
it was like all like that should be
a base. That should be one of the things they promote the new apples
with. They're like, you split them on the fuck with this.
No, shit. What a crazy bitch that girl was.
Yeah, I'm sure she's, you know, probably not in a good place.
I don't know if you're fucking starting wild ass brawls at Pteries.
Trashed you, that was fucking crazy.
That was trash.
Isn't that what got hurt?
Yeah, she's gonna get hurt.
She can do that to the wrong person.
I wish it was that night.
I really was hoping for that chick to get dragged
and the chick kicked that over that night.
That's not the worst.
It is a zany bitch.
True that Joe Derosa.
That was the worst ever said.
Just to be able to go fucking hit someone, bleed, and then go outside and be like,
that was pretty sick.
Yeah, did you grab my double burger?
I said no on your ins because, I know what you're capable of.
I'll remake the burger.
Yeah, well, this is a little bit warm.
It's cool.
She goes, this is how you have to get the perfect cook on your burgers.
You got to split them on the fuckers head.
Yeah, first things first.
First, establish dominance in the room.
If you, and then also you kind of get a free choco peanut butter
shake, and it goes around.
And then we went back to our room, finished up packing.
Yeah, and woke up after an hour and went to the airport.
Sick.
Where?
Somehow, some way.
He says, now he says, we were,
I'm going with he says, we were actively looking for Lou at the gate,
because we went, man, Joe's like, dude, Lou was banged up last night.
I wonder if he's gonna make this flight.
730, we got picked up at like 530.
The line was crazy.
The line was insane.
Did you have TSA pre-check?
No.
Then how would you do that?
You weren't on that flight. You weren't on that flight you took a later flight and you're
on that flight did you go later flight you don't want to know people
DJ Lou that fucking line was Christmas bad it was and I was late for it but
somehow I just zipped right through how I
didn't I did I don't I got to prove it I'll show you I don't know they said
that their TSA workers were are short
That's why they were trying to get everybody there two and a half hours before crazy, but I didn't have to do that because I have clear and TSA looking at
Dope and then
There's no I couldn't guess how you want that you walked by both of them now in fairness
I was exhausted so I went to sleep. Did you see us when you got on the plane? No, and I forgot to look for you though
But I mean with the first two rows we were there's Christine and Jay were the first people you see on the
How am I gonna miss his hair and those two I've been
I've been with you for three days. I would have so I
Oh, you weren't on the flight. I was there. I X Jim. He paid for the flight X the boss
That's what I'm starting to feel is that you missed it
And you feel bad so you just got another flight cuz you don't want big Jim to know oh he had to fly on
Sorry problem drinker who can't make flight he had to flight under the name willowitz
For your information Jacob juice causes no hangovers and I was great not true in the history of alcohol
That's not true campaign campaign though
Jacob I want to believe it. I just know it not to be a
fact it's got booze in it it's gonna cause a hangover
Lou has been swearing to me he was so tell me says thank you dude I drank all
weekend and then get ahead a hangover you didn't get one hangover and I
didn't make a fool of myself except for the scler incident and Mark
Marron seemed to love me on campaign you. You left it a man saying thank you. He gave you a belly tickle
Thank you
Jellies
I was jellies of how excited you were that you was like thank you man for real
Whatever good one an excitable boy
So Lou got home however you got home on that flight. Yeah, what were you on the landing gear like a mando?
Did you say you came on the command?
Did you jump up on the wheels?
Was that a ghost plane? What did I imagine? How did I get?
What did you switch on like executive decision? Did they have a tube with another plane and loaded you on?
By the way, when you call your phone if you don't answer it just says your phone is disconnected.
Yeah, I don't get in common calls for some reason.
Yeah, I was probably take care of that. Don't you think especially when
There's no reason why that's a company. Nobody can get hold of it. Come and calls anymore. Nothing works on a phone
It's a company phone. I don't know how to fix it
Self-phone place look into it. No, I'm not looking into it call
I'm good. You don't want to come and calls in your phone. Just text me. I
Kind of I understand now he's going into a shell. I don't want to income in calls in your phone. Just text me. I kinda, I understand.
Now he's going into a shell.
I don't like this.
I understand.
Do I take her first break?
Yeah, I can't believe Lou's here.
I'm happy about it.
I'm happy about it.
He didn't give my income in calls
and then I called, I called Black Lou this morning.
Does he, if he's heard from him,
Dan reached out to Lou's brother.
We were also concerned because I'll make his phone
disconnected. He's dead in a river somewhere like in Austin. I thought he was still in Austin dead. Dan reached out to lose brother. We were also concerned because I'll make his phones disconnected
He's dead in a river somewhere like in Austin. I thought he was still in Austin dead
We just hadn't heard about it. I started preparing. I could say the first words that
That lose said to me when I said that he goes he goes I'm ready to jump on the board so it's fine
Oh, can I tell you one more thing for we go to break then sure who is my break into a whole thing you're gonna like this
I didn't tell anybody this I don't think on purpose because it was funny to me that it happened so
Jacob
Was hanging out then they're like friends and stuff. He was because he'd been there's enough with us
So like Jacob's a man about town. I like that Jacob's got this mystery side like Jacob told me
something he was like, he's like, I don't know if my friends are meeting up later or not.
And he was at my show.
And then I was like, oh yeah,
and I just happened to be looking over his shoulder
at his phone.
And Jacob started doing this with his phone,
trying to turn it away,
because it said like,
probably it's gonna leave after the beginning of this one.
He's like, like that,
he's gonna bail out on the show. And I was like, oh, I saw one. He's like, he's gonna bail out on the show and I was like,
I saw the text of him telling someone he's gonna bail.
He did say the whole thing.
He did say cause you know I sort of saw it.
I couldn't know what it said I were, but he's like,
he's also turning the phone away and I was like,
oh.
That is funny of changing someone's plans
cause you invaded their privacy.
I didn't know he was looking.
He was like, trying to be honest.
You're like, you know what I love to do.
I'm gonna meet up after this and then J.C.s and goes,
hey, and then Jacob's like,
the next text that you didn't see that probably hurt more
was, hey, he saw that and now he's upset.
So I gotta change my brain.
Yeah, I'll be there late.
This guy's gonna start crying if I leave now.
Yeah, whatever restaurant they're at,
they're like, hey, can you actually make that
from four to three, our friend has to stay now? You just wanna seem happening happening so I just gotta come off in the text like I got so much stuff going on
I'm probably gonna bail you're just I do believe you believe you when you said I didn't go anywhere
Yeah, you think you stayed but I didn't go to the short it was kind of like
I think it was like talking about the friend to me because I'm probably gonna pull move like you and I splay after the beginning
I got to even have time for all this shit. What you didn't realize was Jacob was texting a doll the whole time.
It's just a phone. You got one of the dolls.
The doll phone?
So it goes blue. So it just looks like it.
You guys honestly, I pay like 30 bucks a month for their service.
It's a life saver.
Hell of a weekend though. It was great hanging with Jacob.
It was fun.
Jacob, you love it, Dad.
Yeah, bummed you left early, but you had good time at letter kidding, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, got back safe and and black Lou left to on Saturday.
Did you leave after the opening or do you hang in there for the whole thing?
What's that?
Yeah.
The opening.
No, I stayed the whole the whole through.
I miss it.
Would miss it for the world.
Black Lou, you love it down there too?
Absolutely love it.
And I just want to say,
Jacob's neck was hurting
because the hotel that we stayed in
was like three or four bachelor at parties a night.
All CW actresses that they look like all,
I mean, it was crazy.
Grant, that's it. He loves it.
Yeah, he loves it.
It is fucking nuts.
Yeah, that bar. That's on the outside yeah, he loves it all like
Well, hey ladies, I just bailed early on a show cuz I don't give a fuck. Yeah, just like the guy who gives a fuck
Hey, you ever had wine in a can to go excuse me?
Never had wine you ever get canned
canned I don't like to take shit won't we know wine in your can? You never had wine, you ever get canned. Canned.
I don't like the texture.
Won't we know wine in your cam?
Uh huh.
I mean, let's take our first break.
We'll come right back everybody.
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