The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Glide Wizard w/Dov Davidoff & Ralph Sutton

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

Ralph Sutton & Dov Davidoff host the SDR Show on Gas Digital. Dov was know as "the Brad Pitt of comedy" and Ralph has lived many different lives. Before becoming the owner of the Gas Digital Network, Ralph was a hacker, a restaurateur, and a break-dancer called "G-Wiz The Glide Wizard!" Bobby tells a story of a bunch of comedians taking groupies home and it gets messy. Jay makes the room watch a turd video to see who turns away in disgust. Bobby has a violent reaction. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly I played this because it ties together our generations It brings together all my generation everyone had to learn this song Dove and I learned it from our fathers You are our fathers. I taught my kid. Well, I'm there when they play the song live. I didn't have a father.

Wow, what a shock. You had no shot at knowing who this is. But everybody knows who this is Bobby, even you know who this is. I had to learn this on the street. I learned this on the street from a bus driver going to West Medford. Come on Bobby, tell me album, song song and band. It's only one answer dude.

Yes! And this is, you said it though, it's not fair because you said Live at Wimberley. Well you have to know that, but I mean it's Bad Company. Yeah, Bad Company. It's Bad Company by Bad Company on the album. Bad Company. Isn't it track four though? Bad Company?

I don't know. Jay, this is what I'm keeping right now. Bad company. Welcome to the bonfire. Woo! Sam, you always bring the good stuff. I bring the hate. Faction Talks, series XM103, Big Jokers, and the great Robert Kelly. We have two amazing guests hanging out with us for the entire, entire show tonight everybody. From the SDR show, my old stomping grounds, the SDR show, old stomping grounds the SDR show it is the hilarious Ralph Sutton and Dove David off I tell you when you said that Dove was replacing Jay on the show I at first I was like I don't even know you

guys knew each other we didn't we didn't oh so you didn't you know how do you come up with he gave me a call by way of a girl I used to see a girl that we we all know we all had a piece Oh, yeah, I don't know if I've ever told you the connective tissue of dove and Ralph was it Jessica Kersen? Well, can I say by the way Jay Steve let me give you a say yeah Show whisper you whisper it into a microphone. Yeah Yeah, yeah, that's the one dog I don't know you but you should have you should have hung in there and then you would know buddy Do I know her a lot of comics do I don't think you did particularly is she a comic no

But can I say what happened was? Estie. She reached out to me. You guys. You guessed it. You guys banged Estie together. She reached out to me. Christine, I guess your whisper wasn't whispery enough.

She reached out to me and said, you should hire my, she said at the time, my boyfriend. And I wrote back, who the fuck is your boyfriend? And then she. Did you whisper it like that? Yeah, oh, I forgot that you could curse for a second. Sorry. Who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck are you? They did an old lowercase text. Who are you seeing? Who are you seeing? I'm not gay. Exclamation point, exclamation point. And then she said, she said Dove Davidoff, and then I said,

who the fuck's Dove Davidoff? I don't know Dove Davidoff. Well, that's the shittiest thing. Well, and then I looked him up, and I was following him on Instagram. I'm like, oh, I know this guy. He's been popular for a very long time. I'm an idiot.

We know him, an idiot. You know him, 20 years I know this guy. And then- He's been popular for a very long time. I'm an idiot. We know him an idiot. You know him for 20 years. Guys, a real estate mogul, a movie star, a fucking television producer, and one of the funniest guys in New York City. I'm trying to get, you know, I mean, this, what you guys are doing.

I'm trying to get involved, but you know, I stepped out for a while. Dove is the Brad Pitt of stand-up comedy. I'm a hard-lit, hard-lit. Let me tell you something. Dove back in the day- Back in the day. I. Let me tell you something. Dove back in the day. Back in the day. I remember one night.

But you were like that back in the day too. Yeah. Me and Keith, we were talking to these young girls out front and we were giving them all the dang. What are you girls doing? Giving them all our great lines. And all of a sudden, I looked up in the tree and there was like a bunch of crows and the air changed.

And then I looked over and Steve Byrne, Godfrey, andfrey dog would just on my life. I was gonna I was gonna say that name I was gonna say you guys were the stories Yes of yesteryear of all the pussy and the waitresses and and dove and Steve burn were the guys living it me and Kurt We're outside smoking We looked over at these young lions looking over at the old lions with like a half an ear one gray eye Me and Keith's we went like this hey girls take it easy We slowly backed away and we presented the girls to you and then you walked in and you you got him father time comes What do you got it? Yeah, we all charade charade was the other

Sure was a hyena Just wait for the other guy to kill it and then the rose it the Rosa moved in and then drag it up a tree Get it the fuck out of reach of the other hyenas when the Rosa moved in I was close enough to the Rosa that I saw When DeRosa moved in, I was close enough to DeRosa that I saw the game of the Coxmen that I was not able to do because I had a young child at home. It's the only reason. It had nothing to do with loyalty to my ex.

You did the thing in reverse. You either have the kid young and then enjoy your later years. Or what I did, you have the kid older and then you gotta settle down. Or you do what I did and just don't have a kid and live a life like a lunatic. Yeah, you do the Larry from Three Scudges,

from Three's Company. At least you don't have to worry about abandoning your son by natural causes in the next 10, 15 years. That's good, that's why I don't wanna do it now. Wait a minute, what? What? He's saying I'm gonna die in 10 years. No, he said, I'm pretty sure he said I was gonna die.

How old's your kid? She's 22. Yeah. She's 22 now, that's wild. So I had a kid young girl because the game was and I look once I started having the excuse of 2 a.m. 2 30 a.m. Spots at the cellar you had a kid cuz you're too much of a pussy to get an abortion That's right

That Puerto Rican scared that Colombian scared the shit out of you. She would wake up It was the cold metal of the hanger every time she would fall asleep. She'd feel it the cold metal of the hanger every time she would fall asleep she'd feel it. No I started hanging out I started having a little more fun when I found the game is and DeRosa perfected this hang till 5 a.m. Oh God. Be there till 4 when it's done and then shoot the shit smoking cigarettes outside and then. Very close to what Cosby did. Yeah. It's also a Pyrrhic victory meaning you're're gonna lose more than you gain living like that. It's too much. You get the tail, but after that, you're a mess. The thing that I was least envious of that was envious that he was able to kind of have the freedom to do whatever he wanted to do

as far as he went, but it did feel nice that three out of every five at least, three out of every five, he's rolling home at like four in the morning. I'm still up like playing video games or something and he was just like he could have drove home with me It's like yeah, I took the fucking subway and it was this and there's a weird guy and it's for them So he did a lot of the fact that we all just you know Just pretended like we knew it a pair of Vic whatever you said Victories when you lose more than game we all shook our heads like It's like winning the pick three you put more into it than you gain. We all shook our heads like, yeah, it's like a pair of victory, dude. It's like winning pick three.

You put more into it than you'll ever win. A little bit. But you got sober early, so you never hung till five in the morning, right? I did, I did. You crazy. You did? Dude, sex was my drug.

Dude, I remember hanging out, I remember the sun coming up my favorite. I remember, young Bob. When you heard the bird on MacDougal Street. Oh yeah. I know one morning I was with this girl on a curb. We just spent the night. It took me forever.

I took her to the French roast. Oh the roast. I took her back to MacDougal Street. It's a class operation. Finally, I was great. I tell you what, frites and a cappuccino. No, no not about it. And it's open late night.

And it's got atmosphere. It's cool. Atmosphere, little candles, yeah. She got treated to a piece of your pole and a French roast.ino. No, not about it. And it's open late night. And it's got atmosphere. It's cool. Atmosphere, little candles, yeah. She got treated to a piece of your pole and a French roast. That's a hot scene. Gross. And we brought her back. And I remember Godfrey hooked up with a girl.

I seen him driving, his little Honda. And I was on the thing. The sun was coming up. I go, Godfrey! He jammed on the brakes. And he was like, yo! And he hit a homeless guy. He backed up and hit a homeless guy.

I don't know how, but Ralph may be more of a coxman than both of you in your primes, because Ralph somehow finds a way to get hot pussy and being in bed by 9.30 p.m. Still to this day, yeah, I go to bed early. It is what it is. I would much rather be up at six in the morning. The inventor of the afternoon threesome?

Yeah. Can I say something? We have to find, we had to get head in parks. He had his own place. That's true. We had to get blown in vestibules. You know how many times I wait for somebody to go into their little thing and I'd sneak into the vestibule and just, because the door, the window is here.

Because you had a roommate, right? Yeah, I had the roommate. I had to get blown in the hallway a bunch of times. I got blown in other people's vestibules. So sweet those were the days. Oh those were the days. When you go down the stairway where the garbage is. You had the experience of being a gay hooker without actually doing it.

Just in vestibules. I never thought I heard the word vestibule so much in a crowd of 30 seconds. How many times you get blown in the full round of the cellar? I never went into, I've gotten a hand job in the cellar like a gentleman, but never blown. I'm not an animal. I don't break those kinds of rules. Dude, this is a reminder, I forgot.

Remember I told you that Wayne found the words from that Craigslist ad? Yeah. From years ago? So years ago, Ralph, you definitely know this story. Yeah, the girl got mad, I got caught cheating really bad and the one girl put up a Craigslist ad. You were in a rocky pose, right?

Dude, it was bad. It was the rocky pose. Touching like this. Yeah, for sure. And she sent me the thing. More like a Heather Locklear pose. In fact, you're pretty. But I was, but what was so funny was,

what she texted me, before that Craigslist ad went out, her thing was, you know, she sent me like a fuck you message, which I deserved all of it. And her last words were, she goes, I'm going to fuck Dove Davidoff. Yeah, come on. Son of a bitch. That's no way to treat a man. Tell you what, remember the time we went boxing and I chipped your tooth?

Yeah, Bobby swung a left hook at me. We were going to the body, Bobby freaks out, hits me in the face, chips my tooth. I think it's still chipped. That's when I learned when Dove really knows how to box. Dove can box. He went like this, ah, you chipped my tooth, Bob. You went a little crazy.

17 punches to my head. It was fun that night though, Colin was there, Keith came, it was fun. That's how Keith had his first stroke. Some people say. That Viagra story's a lie. You guys did too many, that circle of your friends, Bobby, your contemporaries have a lot of, we had to be pulled apart from fighting

over like fake fighting at first. I think it's first I think the open Anthony thing is one of the fun If there was anything I wish I can go back in time and be a part of it was Vos and Keith wrapped in bubble tape Having the blindfold fight and Vos ended up throwing a kid ended up kicking each other at one point I had a crazy big big box minutes like the oversized boss and Keith Yeah, they blindfolded him and they were fighting. But I remember what- Didn't talk to each other for days.

Voss is such a piece of shit. Keith was getting him. And then Voss picked up his blindfold. Oh no. Looked at Keith, turned his body towards him, and then threw a karate kick. Oh no. But like fat Elvis.

Oh Voss. Yeah, fat Elvis. Fat Jersey Elvis. And then Keith grabbed him and slammed him on the ground and went, come on, motherfucking turn Philly. He got on North Philly. We were laughing so fucking hard at those. That video's somewhere.

The evil doesn't exist like that anymore. It's gotta appear on Opie's Twitter soon. Like, I would think, there is no way I would ever be talked into hitting you. Like, I could never do it. So did they just really not like each other? No, it's not talked into they were doing a bit It was even so it would if the bit was me punching you I'm do it. I'm bad at it

I told you before I did a thing where we had the box me and Mike Vecchione and the whole it was like a skit Or sketch of some sort where we had to take a Sergio Chacon Yeah, it's a 12 years ago box. Yeah, 10 12 years years ago, he puts us in like through a little like, you know, 1-2-1-1, 1-2-1, you know, doing that whole shit for like an hour. And then we were supposed to go in and do three one-minute rounds of boxing, me and Becky Owen. And we had no discussion about what we were going to do or anything. I just assumed we're both friends and love each other and don't want to do something.

And I'm pawing at him a little bit. And he just sent one up the pike and punched me. And my eyes teared because, two reasons. Straight shot and then I was like, why would my friend do that to me? Your partner was emotional. And I spent the next three, the other two and a half minutes, two rounds,

just covering up and like pushing him away. I was like, I hate this. I can't do it. I can't do it. You're a little bit close. Were you there when me, was it me, you, Eddie, if, just covering up and pushing him away. I was like, I hate this. I can't do it. I can't do it. Were you there when we, was it me, you, Eddie, if, remember we got the college girls? Yeah, I think so.

Was it me, you, Eddie, in the older comic who used to give roses out? Jesus. Remember he had a rose, like he would have this corny Steve. A danger field? Steve something, yeah, danger fields. Oh no, Steve, oh come on. What's his name?

Steve Marshall? Steve Marshall. Oh Marshall, I'm not here to behave. Dude, I'm not here to behave. Yeah Dangerfield. Oh, no Steve. Oh, come on. What's his name? I'm Steve Marshall. Oh Marshall I'm not here to behave dude Like pizza joke I'm not here to behave buddy. It was me wasn't me You know, did you just do a joke about Disneyland? You have to tell us you're not here to behave It was me you Steve Marshall and Eddie IFT Hey, it was me and Steve Marshall and Eddie Ift hooked up with a gaggle of girls one night I think so and then Eddie Ift broke off did some weirds broke off with his girl Yeah, it sounds about me you and Steve Marshall, but the Steve hooked the one girl was a lesbian Okay, so Steve went with her because he was older. Yeah

Because we were like hey, dude, you gotta take the hit. I had a brunette with dreadlocks, and you had the blonde. And then I went in, we did our thing, and then I remember me, we were in the living room and we looked back and Steve is on his knees. What was Steve doing? He was going down on the, she was like, ah fuck it, go ahead.

She was standing or laying down? No, she was on a couch and he was down the hallway and we looked down and he just went, hey. And he just gave us a thumb up. I guess I say I'm not here to behave. Look at me not behaving. I think that's where he created the character. He's Marshall.

And then Eddie Iff. He wasn't there to behave. Eddie Iff came back, the girl came back with Eddie Iff and she was like, he's fucking nuts. At that Eddie was on it? Because he made her watch his special. Oh no, I love that one. it because he made her watch his special and then he made a go he made her check out his headshot oh my god and she was like

I want to leave and he's like you can't oh my god my sister will get mad god that's so weird so then she finally was like fuck you I'm leaving you man she just wanted to fuck and he was watching by himself don't stand up with her these girls just wanted to bang comics yeah it was like, fuck it. He wanted to watch it by himself to stand up with her. These girls just wanted to bang comics. Oh, that's tremendous. It's a movie where they shoot someone's memories back into them all at once. I mean, Steve Mar-

I would have never thought of his name again. I would have never thought of him again. And this is, I mean, the rabbit hole I'm about to go into on Steve Marshall, on digging into some old Steve Marshall, because yeah, that was it. You ever worked at New York Comedy Club with him? Don't behave.

Not New York Comedy Club, but it was Dangerfields I would see him at all the time. He was always at Dangerfields. And New York. For some reason, he was at the cellar that night. And he just, we would, he just quite. The greatest night of his life. Ha ha ha.

Greatest night of all of our lives. I got to spot the cellar. I need some lesbian pussy. It was like an independent, I remember I was wearing the girls, she had like a boa coat, and I was shirtless on the roof wearing her thing. It was like an independent, I remember I was wearing the girls, she had like a boa coat and I was shirtless on the roof wearing her thing, it was wild. That girl came back and ratted Eddie Iftalf for being a fucking sissy. That was the greatest part of the night.

Oh my god, don't behave. Don't behave, use plastic bags, don't behave. Seeing this guy down there, I go, what's he doing? He was on his knees, I thought he was sick or something. Oh he was sick or something. Yeah He was sick all right Christine please bring up some Steve Marshall some little best of Steve Marshall I'm pretty sure you can find a hits compilation. He created this character after that that night by the way He did not do this. That's dead. Do you remember Bobby? Have I ever showed you this before you came on the show?

I think yeah one of the best like find, like, comedians reels on YouTube now that they just post them. Some people, ironically, some people would be like, how funny is this reel I put together? The best of the best is Peaches Rodriguez. Because Peaches Rodriguez has, you know, Peaches Rodriguez, do you remember her? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know her act. I barely remember her.

Well, it's not, I don't know her act barely remember was not knowing I don't know where act either really It's not even about her act. It's that her real is Her doing comedy with horrific audio. Oh horrific. It's like the camera It's like the microphone in the camera at the comic strip Like it's it's wacky. So she's downstairs, but it's also she's like was around the time of breakdancing days Ralph You're welcome. Ralph's a break dancer. Gee, the glide wizard.

Sorry about all this comic talk, Ralph. But she, once you go, and then in between, so, yeah. Whoa. I gotta get a ticket. Go back, go back to the beginning, please, Christy. Her joke's supposed to be hilarious. It's so funny, it's like, cause you know, our man, like,

is gonna take you out of the day, cause you better pay for that drink No, you know what I'm for sure the end of her set she would break that the end of her set she did a little Easy because she This is easy because she had the Toshiba DVD welcome credit on the show. She ripped it. She screamed at it. She ripped it.

I told school. But she's doing the dances. No, it's like, hey, if you want me to be in your sitcom or be on your TV show, here's my tape of my comedy. And God forbid, maybe you need someone to fucking pop and lock in the bathroom. I could also pull that off. Please, give us the, you're going to love this. She's kind of hot.

Peach is what? She's older now, but I mean. Yeah, I mean, not now, but in this video, she's not bad. Stop trying to find the positive. Not on that still right there. Stop trying to find the positive. I'm not trying to find. Peach is a doll.

I'm not trying to be. I've known Peach for a long time. This reel is bat shit. I'm not trying to be positive. I'm saying she's kind of hot. I remembered her as not hot. You know what? I was wrong. That's what I was saying. Not on that still, right there. I'm saying she's kind of hot. I remembered her as not hot You know what I was wrong I was looking at the side of her pop lock you're watching her pop lock from the side I was watching a pop lock that close up on her on her fucking panda eyes

She might have steal Bobby's heart. You fucked DJ Lou if he was pop lock from the side. I don't like a good pop lock. Who wouldn't? Come on. give me a taste. For Christmas, when on a rider gave me this earring. What is this? Pause it, pause it, and go back again. Let me explain the video. It's a prop joke, and then she break dances. That's crazy.

That's triple hack. Nobody's ever done that. That's a quadruple hack. We haven't seen that to the 85 Olympics. And she landed it. And she landed it. That's like a triple limb. That's a quadruple hack. We haven't seen that to the 85 Olympics. And she landed it.

Like a triple landing. Holy fucking Michael Phelps. So for the people listening at home, she says, Winona Ryder got me these earrings for my birthday. So I just know from someone who did a prop thing in my set before when I first started You know that that the fact that she has to how many times she's turned around a car

You look I forgot the fucking hearing It's an earring with like the big tag that you have to take off of this or by the way earrings have never had That tag on them by the way. That's for clothes But the bit was there when I used to get that in my underwear and stuff like that on stage in the in the black rooms it was same thing I'd have to like I'd be wearing the most uncomfortable ridiculous underwear all things I go to prepare for my five minute open mic set. I got my my my fake plastic buck teeth because I had my was my 15 minutes I

actually I wanted to put them on a key chain. I cut a hole in them, because I kept forgetting them. And that was most of my act. Early comedy's so shameful. There's so much shame. Walk into a hardware store and go, you got a file? Wow. Yeah.

A rubare, a rubare keeps a hairstyle. God bless him. It's the one joke. Isn't that Ben Franklin or game. Something about being the, have you seen me on the head of a nickel? You know, something. My fun goal. Oh, that pisses me right off.

Rand's a funny spirit. He's got a generous spirit. I mean, but yeah, having to commit to something all day. Remember Hood at the, so? Hood used to have to, I mean, 9-11. Ralph knows everything about music. This is, this is. Fine.

Hood, Hood, that dynamite, right? Yeah, he was, he did it, but before 9-11, and then it just had to, he came back and did it one time, it didn't go well. No, no, no, no, it killed. He brought, Manny, stop using him, 9-11 happened the week of, that Friday and Saturday, he called Hood and said, you have to work all the shows We all joke he did a joke and then he pulls up. I'm Iranian He pulls his shirt up and it's a fucking bomb and we all ran downstairs hoping they just start attacking him

We were very bummed out that they got it Not again! Yeah, they laughed. Never again! We were very bummed out that they got it. So, anyway, so Pichir Rodriguez gives her stolen earrings joke. Go ahead. This is when Honor Rider gave me this earring. Oh, God.

So dating's weird. So dating's weird. So dating's pretty crazy. Banged out a weak prop joke. And then caught to pop locking down what looks to be a cobblestone street. I want to make a suggestion. She went too long on the dancing.

Just a couple seconds later, and it would have went boom, right into the joke. Almost like a Seinfeld bit. But also, she has multiple camera angles on the dancing and can't get a microphone for the stage. It's kind of weird. Well, she, yeah. Almost like a side-fill bit. Yeah. But also she has multiple camera angles on the dancing and can't get a microphone for the stage. Right, right, right. It's kind of weird. Well, she's dancing.

Her dancing is the equivalent of the, doong, b-ding, doong, doong. That's it. That's exactly it. She's doing comedy to get seen as a break dancer. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Very few people take that route.

He goes, he goes, well, Stan's gonna get my foot in the door, you see. Yeah, yeah. I gotta be seen somehow. He goes, and once I get that foot in the door, I'm gonna worm, yeah, I gotta be seen somehow. And once I get that foot in the door, I'm gonna worm the rest of my body through it. I'm gonna pop lock my way through. Jay, you should do this for your next special.

In between jokes, you should transition by dancing on the street. Oh yeah, dude, I'll get rerun. I'm gonna fucking have big rainbow suspenders and just do the big floppy hat. Uh, go ahead, Christy. Ralph, were you a competitive break dancer? I mean we used to battle what yeah Competitive is a weird word, but we would battle what would you do?

We're up against the great peaches Rodriguez have added. I've just I've made every joke you can make about this I'm not making up a word is what they called it you'd go I go to Coney Island and we would have breakdance battle. Did you have your own cardboard? Yeah, our linoleum. We didn't take cardboard, we took linoleum. Just for his knees. I'm sorry. Linoleum would be better.

It was better for it. God forbid, I didn't know you were that fancy. Cardboard could get wet. Cardboard's softer on your knees. When you lose, you gotta blow the competition. We used to make a fortune, because we were four white kids. Well, one of them was Spanish,

but we would make tons of money in the city break dancing on the weekends. It's crazy. Tons of money? Yeah, like a few hundred dollars each. For a day. You mean Puerto Rico. Is that the origins of gas digital?

Is the origins of gas digital. What's out all started? From Ralph's busking days. Yeah. We were 14. 14 to a few hundred dollars is a lot of money. How tall were you at 14? Five seven.

Five seven, so you weren't as big as Ralph. I wasn't as big, I grew six inches in a year. His brother still five, his twin brother is still five, seven. His twin brother a foot shorter. Five, seven, he's still five, seven. Were you injected with something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe you guys were a government experiment.

I mean, you are Jews. That's true. You know, they try to figure out the Jews. Ralph, why do you get uncomfortable? I was just kidding, I don't want to talk about it. I was just kidding, I don't want to. I was just kidding, do you have a beard? No, you really hit something, you never know. Can I ask you a question? When did you give up the dream of breaking?

The dream of breaking? I got it. Let me just give you a shot of this. When did you give up the dream of breaking? He lost the linoleum. What happened? What happened? I never got great. I was never great. Really?

I was good enough. For a white kid I was good. The fuck does that mean? The best breakdancers were not white. That's bullshit. What the fuck's an extra bow you're going to do for dancing? They called us the mighty whities. Did you have shirts? No. We had shirts but not that said Mighty Wities.

We had our break dancing crew was called the Fast Action Rockers. Oh my Christ. Wait a minute, you had a shirt that said the Fast Action? FAR, Fast Action Rockers. What was my name, Jay? What was my break dancing name? G-Wiz, the Glide Wizard.

Yeah, thank you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Why G-Wiz? G-Wiz is short for the Glide Wizard, but when you saw my moves, you're like, G-Wiz, that's amazing. What is glide? What is glide?

Oh, well, Ralph was, I'm not gonna explain this, I'm just gonna let you know, you're asking the right person, because he's the wizard of it. There's nobody better to ask. Excuse me. The grand wizard of the glide. Spinning on one hand.

So you could spin on one hand, and that's called gliding? That was called gliding, yeah. What is another move? Windmills, which you've seen a million times, right? Seen the windmills, yeah. Head spins. I'll windmill battle you right now.

Yeah, all right, if you go first, sure. I don't know how to do it, you have to do it first, so I can see. I couldn't do it now, I'm too big now. He can't windmill, he has a mitten on. Yeah. Listen. That's exactly how I win.

Not on target. That's right. I'm mitten. I'm dressed like turbo an-o-zone. At all times. Were you mad when that Australian girl entered? I was great, I loved it. Did you get mad though?

I got mad at her because I still watch breakdancing. You love the art. Holy shit. I'm amazed by the art. No, you don't still watch breakdancing. My brother and I will send each other breakdancing videos now, still, to this day. I'm sorry.

You almost made Jacob leave the room. It's amazing what they can do now. It's wild what they can do now. What can they do now? It's not that we, if I would've, if it was. I'm gonna tell you right now, breakdancing hasn't progressed. Oh, it has so much.

Not even sort of. So much. Not even kind of sort of. So much. What? What did they do? I watched it in the Olympics. It's. Not even kind of sort of. So much. What? What did they do? I watched it in the Olympics. It's the same things that happen in breaking.

So like you would say, if you're a casual fan of music, that you don't understand the nuance of different stuff. There's no such thing as a casual fan of breakdance. You guys are watching it, you don't see a difference. That's what that is. I'm not a fan at all. We watch it to make fun of it. That's why.

We watch it because we go, how is this an Olympic sport? People should be ashamed of themselves. Go look up a real breakdance or not. Ralph, Ralph, let to make fun of it. That's why. We watch it because we go, how is this an Olympic sport? People should be ashamed of themselves. Go look up a real break dancer. Ralph, Ralph, let me ask you a question. It's not anymore. How could it, because the body can only do so much, how could it evolve so much over the years

to where it's different than it was in the 80s? Just like, for instance, here's a great comparison. If you would look at the best boxer from 100 years ago, let's say the first big boxer. This is terrible. No, it is, I'll tell you. It's a terrible example. If you would look at the best boxer from 100 years ago, let's say the first big boxer. No it is. Or MMA fighters. You take an MMA fighter back then, the best of the best, to someone now,

they have just gotten better at it because of the fact that they've improved the style. They've improved attitude. You're taking a theory that applies to sports very much. I agree with this. It's the same thing, thank you. First of all, it's not a sport. You call it a sport? It to sports very much. I agree with this. It's the same thing, thank you. Agreed? It is not, first of all, it's not a sport.

You call it a sport? It wasn't the Olympics. This is a way for, this is just a char. They took it out, you know that, right? Well, because of her. Breakdancing was invented as a guns for basketball program. Which is trying to keep pieces of shit off the street. Can I say something?

Big Jay once explained. Big Jay. Look at that, none of that I could do. No one would do that back then. Yes they did. No they didn't. Big Jay once explained to me one time that I was two years away from not going to jail and solving most of my problems as a youth with dance, breakdancing. That's right, that's right. You were just a little too early. I was just a little too early.

Had you gotten some linoleum and a glass of water, you could have been Scott Fray. I would have been gliding. Oh, my way to be glad. The glide apprentice you could have been. Now, what happened with sports is, I agree with the idea that Kobe Bryant was better than Michael Jordan. LeBron James might be better than both of them.

Right. And it's because they grew up watching a person who made innovation on it. There you go. Bobby's correct that all the moves you can do in holding your body in the air have been done since 1987. If you wanted to, there's a move.

And now chicks do it. That no one could do when we were kids. It was called the flair. A girl break dancing was so nonsensical and ridiculous, they made two films about it, of how crazy it would be. Breaking One and Breaking Two. And it was ridiculous.

You know that as I proved to you on the show, I have an album credit from the girl that wrote the song for Breaking. Clyde Wizard, baby. Thanks to Ralph and Joe Sutton for my break dance lessons. Carolyn Towns. Carolyn Towns. She gave you a credit?

Yeah, on the album. For what? For her break dance lessons. It says it in the album. Christine, bring up the liner notes. I showed it to you on SDR, remember? I'm sure. It's hard to find. Can I ask you a question? Did you have a studio with like a bar and you had a sweat band when people come up It says it in the album. Christine, bring up the liner notes. Yeah, I showed it to you on SDR, remember? I'm sure. I'm sure.

Can I ask a question? Did you have a studio with like a bar and you had a sweatband when people come up in the East Village? Did you do that for a small time? Yeah, for a small time. Were you like Tony? I was ozone.

Did you ever have a phone call with friends saying like, guys, I had a dream last night, we gotta practice this move together. Yeah. It's called the glide. It's called the glide, and I am a wizard of it. Have you ever gone into your closet and grabbed your linoleum, your big boombox,

and put it on the ground? Not that long ago, someone challenged me. And then announced that you're homosexual. Someone challenged me, I lost the bet, and I had to do the worm, and I was able to do it. Do you know what type of glide you could do on that forehead? Shhh, shit dude.

Your head spins would be devastating. See how to beat it. My brother went bald from head spins. You think that's what happened? No, back then he had a little bald spot on his head. From his commitment. Is that good? What was his name, head spin?

His name was Shock. Shock what? Just Shock. Just Shock? Ralph was a hacker too. Yeah. He was a hacker. I was a computer hacker, I was wanted by the FBI hackers wanted by the FBI was that movie one about every movies with based on my life. No, it was not No, it was not

He's the van Wilder of espionage You're Bert Chrysler So you were you a real hacker? Yeah, the FBI came to my house. I put me in jail We had to get a lawyer and everything help but mean jillian a lawyer well i will agree there was a lawyer there for him to me that he had a lot of lacking group but i don't know but the the sergeant was a fan of of my break he's like the top of the g the guys who had a lot of the city i was a bit of a little bit of a

the stuff that's up get those cops off and i think that's the cause of the prohibitive gliding the, get that fridge cardboard over here. Johnson, get some linoleum. Dude, you're giving me like Last Dragon, you should have fucking, you should have break the extra weight out of the cuffs. Yeah, or at least the Peaches Rodriguez pop lock out. Please give me another taste of Peaches Rodriguez. Pop lock out of the cuffs. We got you, easy glide. Easy glide. And you you go did you? and you just drop it. and then you worm away. you're gonna need more cuffs. we're gonna do breaking three with fucking glide wizard. what was your name again? the glide wizard. the glide wizard dude. breaking three electric boogaloo. buddy.

electric boogaloo with him and we do it with all the cast that is old right now. Yeah. Yeah, I'm probably all equally as good Oh zone just died. I Think turbo might be parking cars in Los Angeles and that girl hasn't done a movie since Ninja 3 the domination. So Amazing that you know that much Lucinda Dickey, dude. She got a three picture deal with Golan Globus productions There was a whole sham operation and they they made, breaking one and two, nobody cared for a three, and they had to give her another movie.

Ninja Three, the domination. Jay, there's a lot of his time on his belly on YouTube. On IMDB apparently. During the weekend. Lucinda Dickey, she married a producer, got rich, swished, and then disappeared. She was hot for a minute. Pulled off that mom haircut.

Sweet haircut. When you were a hacker, the FBI did arrest you? Well, so we... Are we gonna talk about this all day? I'm talking about the career of Lucinda Dickio. I just want to know. Was it gonna be Ralph's hacking better? Yeah, so the FBI showed up. He's got 25 years in the clink and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm saying she had three featuring bots and domes. Including Ninja Turtles. What were you hacking? So we were doing dumb shit like cracking video games.

And then we were changing grades, and we were changing our electric bill and phone bill to be like $5 and shit like that, and teaching other people how to do it in our school. And you were doing it back in the day like when you had 14K modem. Before that, 300 modems. Oh my god, you had to wait like 20 minutes

to get online? But it was all tech, so there was no, there was no internet yet. It was all bulletin boards. You gotta hear his name. Yeah, so I don't know how the FBI ended up. I was out of the goddess, but we didn't realize how stupid

we would actually get traced back to us. Our hacking group, they all had cool mystery names. Ours was the Sutton Brothers, which was our actual name. The fucking Hole in the Wall gang gave their own last name. Shit in the bacon bros. Hey guys over here I'm the one who did it. So stupid.

It's the 246 Avenue 6. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apartment 5. I just got denied Global One entry and I never knew what. I had it. What? Reapplied for it, they denied it. Didn't know why. I finally found out why.

And it's very similar to what his human brother did. You were a hacker? Do you know Jerry D.? Yes. The comedian, Canadian guy? Yeah, I heard of him. Famous in Canada, great guy.

I did something for him years ago. Maybe four years ago I did something for him. Made a connection, just whatever. He sent me a box of Cuban cigars, Hoyos. So what's your favorite cigar? I said, oh, Hoyos. That's bananas. Sent me a box of Cuban cigars, and on the package,

he wrote Cuban cigars. Nice. And sent it through customs. That's bananas. Yeah, elephant tusk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby got two Cubans and a stick of ivory. And an African ivory and a rhino horn.

And now he's in prison. Three Chinese Asian girls. That's right. 13, 12, and five. Two undocumented Filipinos. And a Ziploc bag with two different human ears in them. Yeah, he opened a gift box and suddenly he's in the clink. They called me up and they're like,

sir, we have this thing. Are you having Cubans? I was like, what? I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. They're like, well, you might want to tell your friend that if he's gonna send you stuff, not write Cuban cigars on the package. Jesus Christ.

That's Sutton Brothers hacking. Because of that, I can't get Global One. Bananas. You mean Global Inc. You should have went to the Sutton Brothers school that speed up that. Yeah, yeah. You hire a hacker from the Sutton Brothers School of Espenada. Yeah, you hire a hacker from the Sutton Brothers.

You get right out of there. Christine, give me some peaches and Rodriguez, would you, please? That's the equivalent of writing coke on the box on your way home. That's crazy. 2.2 pounds of cocaine. Is this coke, parentheses, not the soda? And then a winky face? Could you imagine if he was my drug dealer?

Yeah they call it fish scale. What the fuck? Christine, break me off some peaches. I'm a bus driver. And that's why I kind of consider myself a new vogue, I believe. Shout out to the medical office in the background. You know how they get you guys home faster to us? No.

Drive through stroke clubs. I just love when they hit the punch line real hard. Old renovated car washes, the women just drop down to your car and bang up against you. That worked out to save as well. Oh, she's using it. Oh, shit. Bony ass bitches get a sideways motion.

Shucky, ducky, quack, whizz-am-burger! Oh, that was a funny... And the crowd was puzzled, by the way. Shane, Gillis, me, Soder, and James, his opener, on an arena show this week, all committed to getting a hamburger and on stage at some point Do that on weekends to Everyone committed that we're gonna get in there and then finally like we went and looked online later as like so Vegas What's the hamburger thing they were like no one has no any clue. I did that with the word jizz bucket.

Everyone's got to use it? Everyone has to use jizz bucket. There's a comic that uses that. I know, hamburger made it to Family Guy, too. So I mean, you'd think people would know it from that. Yeah, it's a big, yeah. They describe it well, too, in that it goes, like comedian, deaf-jail comedian,

Hamburger Alonzo, Hamburger Jones. So what else were you in your life? Ran a restaurant. I went to cooking school and ran a restaurant for four years in New York. When? When I was in my early 30s. His mother had sex with everybody from...

All the comedians from back in the day. From Rita Rudner's era. Your mother fucked Colin Quinn? Yeah, no, my mother ran a comedy club, so all the older comics know my mom. Like Richard Lewis. Like Gilbert Gottfried in that era. You know, Chris Rock, he's one of the first

to put Chris Rock on stage. He was one of the, what, like the most well-known strip club DJs in the country. They would fly him out to show people how to do it. His mom was the first. How did you go from all this exciting shit to hanging with Lewis Gomez? Well, you know, I had the radio show for a while.

The Cum Down. And it was a radio broadcast. I had a radio show on 100 stations for 15 years. They say the come down is the hardest. The come down car. I was a hacker, now I'm doing a little radio. A white radio. I was a hacker.

Christine? Breakdance. Breakdance. Break me off a little Steve Marshall. Is he behaving? Probably not, Jay. Well, I'll tell you what. Poconuts.

He was playing this ad. I was able to figure out where that was I would play coconuts are you kidding it's one of the best venues in the Poconos. That's a gay bar on the east side. Oh sure is. Are you kidding? The Poconos? Oh it's spelled differently. You poke poke P-O-P-O-L-K yeah poke yeah you wanna poke holes in fucking jokes Steve Marshall Really a big thing anymore, I don't know why we don't

Think that they're a big thing anymore. I mean eventually somebody's gonna Disrespect your mother or your grandmother. I don't know why you don't think that this bad nothing echoes like a quarter filled theater or your grandmother, I don't know why you don't think that this bad man is. Nothing echoes like a quarter-filled theater. Have you guys ever seen, seen, seen, seen, seen this? Are you doing that show in a corn silo? So where's all the, couples, couples, how's that, that, that, that?

You should put some people in the warehouse that you're working. A 12-minute setup doesn't help. You guys not here to behave. Yeah, don't bore us, get to the fucking joke. Fact you, if I have manners, you should have manners. I grew up in Brooklyn, New York. Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

Wow, wow, wow. No, I swear to God, that was everybody. That's probably right. That was every one of them. He goes, calm down everybody. I only got an hour, I only got an hour. I only got an hour up here. I love that he waited too.

And he always waits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it really earned the pause. Dave Chappelle is about to go on. He's like waiting. Nodding your head at the audience in all directions. He's doing a three camera shoot. He should sit down and give us time to process the density.

The fucking density of that. Hang on man, you're going too fast. Holy shit. So you're from Brooklyn so you normally wouldn't be polite. I'm getting it, I'm getting it. Shut the fuck up. Great a fucking physics minute. Holly Arnstine. I didn't know I needed a degree to watch this guy. E equals MC what? get in and out of the for in physics and then it

for your stuff in point he did agree to watch the game was mc walk respect because of your show respect somebody would disrespect you are where we grew up there was a model in brooklyn get them before they get you how can you be nice when you grow up in Brooklyn when the first phrase you hear every morning in Brooklyn is what the fuck are you looking at? I always say when I watch fucking road hack stuff kill,

I'm like why have I cultivated this super judgemental audience that needs so much from me? Why can't I just go up there and do the first thing? Go play Poconuts and you can do that, I imagine. It's so wild. When I watch those guys like... Jay, it's because you behave. Oh, that is true.

That's why I'm here. That's why I do tend to behave. Yeah. You should stop behaving and maybe you can cultivate that type of audience. Do you remember when Barry Sobel from TV's 227 started coming back around 20 years ago? Sobel, yeah. He started coming around and then he would go on stage. And not only was he doing like his old material,

he was doing his old material that they used for his character in 227 when I was a child. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah, he used to come to the cellar. Why do you wanna do it? I don't know.

I watched my first play. You ever look back at early stuff. I'm I'm filled real shame I'm nauseated by the way, I would land on a punchline and act it out like it was any good I used to sweat fucking I used to I'm a little embarrassing just dripping sweat cuz I was running Yeah, you're a preacher comedy screaming. Yeah, you know you're filling Strong enough to go. Oh, yeah Are you guys saying that people improve over time like the break dancers of those days? No, break dancing, there's fucking, first of all,

I'm gonna say this. They just compare. There's only fucking two moves that are cool in break dancing. The thing that you were good at and the head spinning your brother was good at and then everything else is just flipping your legs in the air and holding you there for a second.

I just wanna say thank you to The Room for proving my point is all I'm saying. Yeah. Well everything's analogous to the break. I don't like that you're comparing stand-up comedy to... To my former vocation of break dancing? To dancing in a park. Yeah, you know.

Steve missing a piece of linoleum up there. You always know it's a bad room when the chair is wooden. It's actually a bar stool from somebody's house. It's a shiny oak. Oh, didn't we get a... There's a good copy of one of Farrah Abraham's bits, right? Farrah Abraham, Teen Mom. Oh, we got a little chunk of it, yeah. She put it up.

Oh, she put it up? Yeah, she put it up today. I sent it to the chat. Nice. Is it good? Farrah Abraham, you know, Teen Mom. Hang on, ask that question again. What did you say? Was it fantastic? Do you guys know Farrah Abraham? I don, Teen Mom. Hang on, ask that question again. What'd you say? Was it fantastic? Do you guys know Farrah Abraham? I don't. I don't watch your garbage television.

MTV's Teen Mom, back in the day. She was on that show when she was, oh, she was on 16 and pregnant, I think, right? Since you, by the way, since you left SDR, Shannon has no one to talk about about shitty television, because Dubb doesn't watch it either I don't know anything about music either Damn, you know about breakdancing. Oh nothing, but you kid

He only knew me for my glad was it Shannon's got Shannon's job is to keep drawing conversation away from breakdancing. Guys, guys, you can't, you're gonna kill people with this. Shannon pulled me aside and said, this show's gonna go under unless you get this kid off the breakdancing. And you go, but I love breakdancing.

But I have opinions too. She said, shut him down, shut him down. The Glide Wizard starts yammering on, pull him back. The Glide Wizard. God damn it, I want. Yeah. Oh, that's a tremendous shirt. Oh, he has a modeling name, too Oh, yeah, that's right. It was a model well one time for Russia We did a big expose on this show There was selling Siberian Huskies You don't mind bronzo

bronzo sensuale Mendes what did you model? He modeled carrot oil Cardboard squares in Brooklyn carrot oil is what they called suntan oil in the 50s Wait a minute. Well, Ron's oh, who are you dude? If you write a Ralph Sutton Bronzo Zantrawale, you'll find a picture. Oh, don't worry.

Yeah, Sal, put it in the background of an image. You're a model. So you're a hacker. Oh, that's it! That's it, right there. Bobby, that was it. If you go back, Bobby didn't see it, because it's in the back.

It's on the window, it says Bronzo, that's him. That's Ralph. And you're a model. Well, that was the one and only thing I ever did. Someone asked me to do it. Ralph, don't diminish your accomplishments in the modeling world. How dare you fucking fly, wizard? That's Ralph and you're a model. Well, I doubt the one and only thing I ever did someone asked me to do it Don't diminish your accomplishments How dare you fucking god damn well, you were oiled and sweet

Let's say this I'm a best-selling author let's add that to the what did you do? I sold the book hit 33 on Amazon What was it? It was a book on how to lose weight Really? Yeah, hit number 33 on Amazon. I had no pages. Did you have to break dance? I had to break dance. The key is breakdance. Yeah, you should do a workout video breakdancing with the glide wizard Glide wizard bronzo at your service Ralph. Well, you should do yes You should sell like an SDR show sponsored like workout video. Oh my oh, there's my book But he's like Darren's dance grooves But it'll be like Ralph's fucking break dance bad knees

Stock photo I don't want to spend any money as a stock picture. I know it's a hundred percent guarantee God, I would give you your money back, but didn't work How much money did you give back? No nothing? Yeah, cuz it's it's fat people There's only four words in the book It's chapter one says eat less chapter two says work out more in a hundred ninety eight blank pages How much money did you give back? None. Nothing. Yeah, fat people are lazy. There's only four words in the book. Chapter one says eat less, chapter two says work out more, and 198 blank pages. The book was a prop joke, the whole book. Why don't you put the last page you doing Glide was in. Yeah.

Oh yeah, the middle of the book, it should be all those, I think you should still keep a hundred. Like a picture guide? Yeah, 198. Flip book. But in the middle of it, like they have in some budgets, like those laminated pages that have just you, the glide, which is the history of Ralph.

Ralph with a mitten in Coney Island. Do this for two hours a day, you'll lose a few pounds. Yeah, him with a Mac class and a payphone and Times Square hacking. And a long mane of hair. $12 at the bargain at any price. Oh, that's so sweet. Absolutely, I saw you post the Kanye West joke

and everybody stole it. Yeah. Made its way to stages now. Yeah, what are you gonna do? What is that? Kanye West charged $20 for his swastika shirt. As a Jew, I'm offended, but it's a bargain. Right, well that's a joke joke?

Oh. Bobby, what, you don't wanna? I would say it was one of the joke. Bobby what you don't want to hear. I would say it was one of the first. It was one of the first. Absolutely. Ralph also tell them that one you worked on about the chicken with the road. Doing great. You know I was going back when Jay

did the show I was before covid he challenged me to open for him on the road. But COVID hit me. I started trying to actually write jokes. Do you think you're saying Jay started COVID so you didn't do it? Jay started COVID so I don't have to go on the road with him. And I love bat.

Yeah. He goes, look, call me an asshole, I love bat soup. Okay, when in Rome. You love a nice pandolin? Yeah. A good pangolin, there's nothing like it. Well, I'll tell you what though, if it's cooked right, falls off the bone. You love a nice pandolin? Yeah. A good pangolin, there's nothing like it. Well, I'll tell you what though, if it's cooked right, it falls off the bone.

Right off the bone. That outer shell just comes right off. Yeah, you gotta put it in a smoker, they're getting it wrong. It's a little gamey. If you do it with a stove top, it's gamey. So you had a joke? What was the joke? No, he was joking. There wasn't. Oh, sorry. This is Farrah Abraham. So this is MTV's Teen Mom, she's 16 and pregnant,

then stayed kind of in that MTV world for a while, then did hardcore pornography. I'm listening. And then? Then some hardcore pornography, then got out of hardcore pornography, some OnlyFans stuff still, is responsible for the hands down

greatest turd video ever on the internet. Oh, I think you made me watch that one. Of course I did, made you. Yeah, you made the popcorn, you bought the corn baby. I don't see Bobby being like a turd video watcher. I'm not, I didn't watch it. I imagine you don't watch this kind of shit TV either,

am I right? Ralph, nobody is into turd videos. You're into this. I'm not into turd videos. This is stand up comedy by the way. No, but the one, this one that you made everyone watch. I didn't make anybody do anything. You made everyone watch it and you enjoy it.

Don't watch it then. Just admit it. Put a comedy on it. You can't do that. You can't do that. You can't, don't take your, don't, Jay, Jay, Jay. Listen, Jay. Nobody wants to watch it. I don't know why. I didn can't don't take you don't Jay Jay Jay Listen Jay. Nobody wants to watch I didn't even say bring it up

It's okay. They love turd videos. I watch it. You're gonna look away like you always look away I will not I'm gonna watch it play it Christine Ralph stare right into the eyes Staring or brown. I watch it. She doesn't really do this. Pause it pause it Christine Dove as you being anew to this, everybody in the room already knows the explanation here. The most impressive thing, this isn't a sexual video by any stretch. Except for Jane is. This is the same feeling you get,

do you see when you get the ads where it's, someone shaves like the top of a bar of soap, but it's got 100 cuts in it. Yeah, like an ivory. Yes. So sweet. Like a beautiful thing. This is a satisfying video of our soap, but it's got 100 cuts in it. So it's- Yeah, like an ivory. Yes. So sweet. Like a beautiful thing.

This is a satisfying video because she pops one cork of turd, and then two foot of uninterrupted shit log. Oh my God. And then a little exclamation point, and then God bless her. The ad for that fucking masturbating thing is pretty wild as well. If you play it in slow motion, the shit says help me.

That'd be cool if it said glad wizard. That's a serious mental illness, right? Actually, can I say something? That would be a great ad for a tour. If you had her do this and then the shit came out and it had your tour poster. It's not serious, it's a little fucked up actually from what you said.

This is, you can't really get people in trouble for this. This is an only, like a guy paid her money to do this and then just released it. And all they can do, the only recourse for that is she's had this removed 200 and some thousand times. She sues, she has her people go after people for that. But if she releases it to someone else and that person, I paid for the video,

she gives it to me and I release it, that's not. Nah, I think she's just for viewing. She made this for one person. But she copyrights it. It's hers, for that guy, she gives it to me, and I release it, that's not. No, I think just for viewing. She made this for one person. But she copyrights it. It's hers, for that guy, he released it. He can't release it, right? No, he's not supposed to. He's supposed to, but the only recourse

is they just try to take it down. Yeah, of course. Also, what are you gonna do, sue the guy for his Toyota? I mean, I mean. And you'd be robbing the world of this. I'm gonna say Toyota's a nice car now. No, Toyota's a great car. I'm just trying to think of not getting a lot of money out of

Pinto I love a Toyota Toyo's excellent All right, good. Hurry up I'm sorry. Let's watch this together. Let's watch this license. Hurry up. I'm sorry. You don't hurry. She's a good ass I'll give her that I mean, yeah So hard to watch this I'm not watching I'm not watching, I'm not watching, I'm not watching I can't watch it Jay! I can't do it!

I'm not watching it I'm not watching it There's no reason to watch it I've never seen anything like that in my whole life I've never seen anything like that I think Bobby just threw up What a fucking psychopath that chick is. Bobby, it's not smell-o-vision, bro.

Relax. Whoa. Jacob, did you watch it in full? Jacob, don't even put the toothpicks in your eyes. Do you also notice Jay is the only one who doesn't avert his eyes to this? Everyone else does. It's a video of shit. Everyone needs to grow up.

Jay's a tremendous constitution. Everyone's gotta grow up. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Bobby just threw up. The guy with the mitten that watched shit videos for fun. We have to grow up? For laughs. It's the evolution of OnlyFans. It's like live wizard. It's disgusting.

Yeah. It's disgusting. That was gross. Oh, horrendous. Here's what's gross about it. Who thinks it's not gross? Because you set it up wrong. I thought it was gonna be one kid I know there's the first shit has your first time seeing it there's a first time seeing this what I didn't watch it you lied to me I had to do it I can't watch

it you just wanted to drop it he was like you got a watch I can't watch it she said right next to you I know and I was and I did it for you she wanted to drop it. He was like you gotta watch it. She said right next to you I know and I was and I did it for you. She wanted to talk to her you wanted to talk about it She hasn't wiped. She has wasn't wiped But you came in she's starting stand-up comedy career now Is it on that that's part of the bit I love the stand-up comedies above this I love the stand-up comedies above this Because breaks break dance Mona Lisa Well, she came in Wednesday to promote it has never warmed up

Warmed up just no Tommy first day was her first time ever doing a one-hour headline At a strip club She's already putting clothes releasing is she releasing the one hour yes, I feel there's a miscommunication five minutes half 35 minutes she's she filmed it they're editing it. She's gonna release it on our own It's a one's her one and only time doing comedy on stage. No, she's gonna start doing arenas. No, no, it was her first. It was, that's what I mean. This was her first and only time on stage

and she's releasing that. But she's gonna be doing arenas soon, Ralph. Okay, but she's also, you know, she's got, she's got celebrities from something else. Okay, Bronzo! Ralph, arenas. Arenas. Bronzo.

Bronzo, I'm talking to you. Bronzo. That's right, wizard. it that whole year all my friends fucking wouldn't stop calling bronze uh... i don't know i don't know that has anybody not stop you know i don't know if they're real friends it's the people in the brunson i mean bronze old glad was in the area like i don't know how i'm in this

it's fine at arenas and fifty thousand people are there i know one person could probably be my rapist one other person can probably be someone who's attacked me and I just feel like I'm just okay with it and I just get past all these crazy times You do really good like when I start flying out arenas and 50,000 people legitimately delusional I do like that she'd probably Between a rapist and an attacker.

Can I say something? Yeah, sorry. You guys, why don't you slow down and look at the art. Yeah, yeah, you're right. Before, seriously, you know what I mean? It's the iteration. How many views does that reel have?

She took a dump on camera. You think she's not prepared for an arena? How many views does that reel have? I'm curious. That's how guys first prepare. You gotta train. You gotta take dumps in front of people. You gotta do the total stuff.

My dump's over here now. It was in here and now it's over here. Lick up my dump. 114k, okay. I mean look. It's a joke called My Rapist, 140. No punchline in sight. Yeah, Trump, Trump, what was supposed to be

the punchline of that? What? Supposed to be? What's he doing? Is he doing something weird right now? What is it? Were you playing silly over here? What is wrong with you?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't understand what's happening. I apologize. Tremendous bit. Why did Jeffrey Dahmer do that in the barrels? By the way, give credit, TMZ is looking to fucking take a shit on somebody, no pun intended. But this artist is Farrah Abraham,

nails stand-up comedy debut, throuples, politics, and more. We haven't seen the full set. You can't judge somebody from little pieces of. Am I judging her at all? Yeah, and her comedy's not all about. No, I'm talking to you, Jay. I'm talking to Ralph.

To G-Wizard. It's not all about punch lines. It's just about social commentary, you know? Here's the thing, though. You take him on a journey, it's all that matters. It's like the show Louie, but different. It wasn't all about the punch lines. Do you remember we were so coming up,

we were so on each other about being better or not being a hack. Brutal, yeah, that's the way it should be. We wouldn't even say stuff to each other. Absolutely. I remember one time, you were in the Laugh Factory in LA. You didn't know I was in town. I got so embarrassed.

You were on stage sitting in the corner doing some weird shit. Yeah, that's what I did. And I was sitting, I just came in and I was watching you. And you went, you looked up and you saw me, you went, ah shit. Hey Bobby, what are you doing? I was like, keep going Dove. I felt dirty.

You guys did things to young comics that were really, if you didn't, if we didn't have the tenacity to stay around, to keep showing up every night. Tenacity? Yeah. Who the fuck are you? It would have broken. You have a pocket watch? It would have broken.

It was rough. It would have broken people down. Because you guys, it wasn't just like, you guys would say like, ah, you're, you know, the common, like you're a hacker, you're whatever. It was like, repeating your jokes. Like, they take your clothes clothes and they're like, oh what are you gonna close on the old,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, ah, no man, I don't even do that one anymore. That's the way it still should be. Don't you miss that Bobby going in? I think that- Nobody's tearing it to one another? The problem with-

Bobby watches young black comics do it. No, I think there's, I mean comedy, I was on the train the other day going out to Brooklyn and there was Some girl some chubby girl and this gay guy not even a hot gay guy Yeah, just in regular like Ralph's clothes. Yeah, he was no bronzer. I got you which made me could you change the girl? Lord, it judged the guy less Get his girl with him. The guy was He was talking gay hair were mess. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, he was talking gay, hair were mess,

I mean, boot pants, it really made me sick. It's harsh. They were like, oh, I'm going to Brooklyn to do my set. And they were talking about stand-up comedy. And I was like, this is just a job now. Like this isn't, when we did it, it was like, you gotta have a backup. Why would you do that? You had an obstacle course.

Now it's like, oh, that's a good option.'s a good option like it's an actual everybody's got access to social media You can fucking do stand-up now, and it's not a thing But when we did it you had would have was a very seller with a headshot go to the trees would have slapped it Out of your hand go to the cellar and look at the front board of all those comics Yeah, those are pretty much most of the comics working in New York. Yeah at that time Yeah, that was there was probably what maybe 50 comics maybe less maybe maybe that was it when did it stop where they shit on each other like when did that Change over in the last

Patrice died and the that back table just started like dispersing Well, we all here's the thing. We were all middle guys So we're all openers and middleists when we all became headliners We had the we were left on weekends and they had to fill those spots, so we're not around right? That's what happened, but the younger generation doesn't do it. They don't they don't say they might in their own like Interthing but there's no there's no like seller crew. I'm sorry a Jacob wants to jerk off two guys right now show me Jacob Yeah, okay, all right Motion that's an, Jacob. Oh, yeah. Oh, OK. All right.

That's an odd motion. That's an odd motion. Well, I hope you brought that wipe for your glasses. The no-streak stuff. The SDR Show of Ralph and Dove is live Wednesdays and Saturdays at 8 PM, gasdigital.com and available wherever you listen to podcasts. You're going to hang out with us for the rest of the show.

We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.