The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Gyat Damn!
Episode Date: January 8, 2025Jay gets all his news from World Star Hip Hop and passes along the information he learns to the listeners. One of the headlines included the slang term "gyat" and the gang debates it's meaning. Jay ...and Bob start the show singing a country song and it falls apart. Jacob's favorite Bobby story is of the time when he sent a picture of black fluid to his doctor. Bonfire videographer Paco has a bizarre ritual while pleasuring himself. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly
Baby when I met you there was peace unknown
I said out to get you with a fine-tooth comb. I was soft inside
There was something going on
There was something going on
Both of us
You do something to me that I can't explain Hold me closer and I feel no pain
Every beat of my heart
We got something going on
Just me now, Bobby
Yep
Tender love is blind
It requires dedication
All this love we feel
Needs no conversation
We ride it together
Ha ha
Making love with each other
Ha ha
Everyone
Island's in the stream that is what we are
Christine please no one in between Lou how can we be wrong sail away with me to
another world and we rely on each other ha ha from one lover to another ha ha
Bobby Parton I
Can't wait to live without you if the love was gone
Everything is nothing if you got no
You did walk in the night, slowly losing all your things. Uh-uh.
Sorry.
Together.
But that won't happen to us if we got no doubt.
Too, too deep in love and we got no way out.
And the message is clear.
This could be the year for the real thing.
Bobby, this is your moment.
I'm a cowboy.
No more will you cry.
Baby, I will hurt you never.
It started and there's one in love forever.
We ride it together.
Ha ha.
Sorry.
Making love with each other.
My tits are falling.
Ha ha. Yeah. with each other. My tits are falling. Yeah.
Oh man.
Listen, Kenny's part is way easier.
You wanna do it again off the Dolly Parton?
No.
It's a deal.
Because I didn't know if you were doing a Kenny character
or you were doing Jay.
And I didn't know if I was supposed to do a Dolly character
or if I was supposed to be Bobby.
Well, you can't do Dolly.
I know, but then I can't do Kenny.
But then I put the boobs in and I felt something and I was like, should I do
Dolly halfway through, I switched it up.
And then you forgot.
And then I think is not your strong suit.
Well, I mean, I was going to add that in.
I was going to let the people assume that.
But yes, reading is not my.
But your effort, Bobby. Thank you you a Pivensworth. Oh
Nice and early. I started the show in a good mood. Oh my god. I'm so happy
Paco quick question. Will you be able to add a
Good version of that song loud and still have me and Bobby singing over it on post-production
Yes, we will get a copyright strike if we post it anywhere,
but I can do that.
If the karaoke version?
Oh, no, the karaoke version, we could do that.
Oh, no, that's what I'm saying,
but can we make sure that the music,
we're gonna need the music put in post,
because it's only in our headphones.
Oh, yeah, definitely could do that.
So you can make it so we have the background playing.
It's gonna be hard.
Line it up to my words,
because if you try to line up with Bobby's words,
you're gonna be on the wrong part of the song but Paco you're saying this is a
no-brainer easy thing to do 100% easy thing to do Jeremy Piven coming your way
Paco it's okay you're gonna drop things first of all doesn't even know what's
important doesn't even know really what it is but look how excited he is he's so
excited do me a favor okay it's your first Piven congratulations Paco I gotta
keep this one always has to be to the side.
This is our, if you recall, our loaner,
it's number one, our emotional support PIVN.
If you're lacking on PIVNs and we see,
this is a rule that was made for Christine,
you'll find out later in the week
that Christine gets irate if she doesn't have a PIVN.
And the problem is she not only has no PIVNs,
she's actually in PIVN debt
because she's done so much bad things before the good things that she's three Pivens deep
But if I see it start affecting her attitude, which are to get sell by her face and eyes
Look how flushed out she got god damn it. Her face is red and angry at me Christine
Here if you'd like to sign Bobby the pen, please. Yes, sir
Thank you. If you want to sign in you could once again
Borrow the emotional support pivin.
Is that what you'd like?
Yes, I would like that.
Wait, my debt doesn't clear at the beginning of every show?
No, debts don't clear.
Debt don't clear.
Debt don't clear.
So everybody goes to zero, but if you're in debt,
you're still in debt.
That's the way debt works.
And I'll tell you what, you should have known that,
because I've explained it multiple times
in front of you already.
And I'm going to say for that reason,
you're not getting the emotional support pivin' right now.
You just cost yourself the emotional support pivin'.
J, pen?
Yeah.
Wait, are you, is this gonna ruin the rest of the show?
I don't know, is it?
Wow.
Sign the pivin' out.
And eat your fuckin' cheese and fruit plate, goddammit.
You're gettin' honoree over there.
Yeah, yeah.
Son of a bitch, you're gettin' honoree.
Get some, uh. Son of a bitch, you're getting honoree. Get some,
some of that, some tea that will help your woman vibes. What's that?
I don't know.
Period tea.
Yeah, period tea.
You know what he's talking about.
Is it period tea?
You know what the fuck Bobby's talking about.
Yeah, that flower that you guys fucking put into tea.
Period tea.
Makes sure your hormones fucking work right.
Kristy, you're acting like Kamala one over there.
That's what I'm getting out of you.
I'm getting a lot of fucking Kamala attitude over there.
Let me tell you something, it ain't happening.
I saw things today on World Store Hip Hop,
America's leading news source.
They said that, what?
What did you say?
WorldStoreHipHop.com.
It's a website, it's America's leading news source.
It is, okay.
All the news that's fit for black people.
But I saw something today that was like,
people are urging, is this a possibility even,
for Biden to step down and just give it to Kamala
for the last few months?
They want him to step down, let her be president,
so they'll be the first female black president.
For a couple seconds.
For two months, months.
Nice.
One loon that doesn't work for her anymore.
What can a black woman president do in two months
that can make things so bad?
It's actually.
Well, one of the months, if it's her birthday,
is gonna be celebrated the entire month, that's for sure.
I'm pretty sure.
I'm pretty sure.
I don't know if you understand how black women work,
but if one of those were the ones on birthday month,
you're not gonna get her to do any president work dude because her and the girls is hitting the town
and she's Indian so that's gonna be a longer time they do their weddings are
seven days absolutely they have comedy shows to go talk loud and because they
don't know who this white-ass comedian is yeah I think it's I think they can't
do that though I think it's illegal that's not what we're also hip-hop said
oh I'm sorry Christine, please great hoodie
Yeah, I have it Christine got it for me. Oh, she's such a sweetie. Oh
Yeah, I made me because I can't fit into the proportions of ones you buy
Because you can only win this one. Oh really you can't buy it and so I
Have to wait for the pop-up to show up to you. You don't have to win it
You thought she made you a custom chubby hoodie? She did.
She went down to the fabric district?
No, she actually did, because you have to win this one.
And by the way, with how many black guys
Christine's fucked, I'm surprised she didn't win it.
What does it take to win this thing?
Yeah.
What do you have?
How many black guys you got to fuck to win a World Star
hip hop, buddy?
Commissioning.
Bobby, that should have been in your fucking gift packages
to the fucking Brazilian girls.
World Star, here's some toothpaste.
I wish I had some pivots down in Cuba.
Oh my God, these things gotta be worth,
fuck knows what, you could probably buy a small village.
You might be able to buy a fucking Johnny Depp Island.
I get a whole pig for a pivot.
We have TJ Miller coming in, 30 minutes he's gonna be here?
Okay, okay, okay.
That's, tell you what,
doesn't come out of the gate starting with a pivin,
I'll tell you that.
Why, because he's late?
Well, yeah, I'm not going to hold it against him.
He's not in debt a pivin, but it's nice
to start out with a pivin.
I get so excited to see TJ, he's so fun to hang out with,
normally I would just come in and go, dude, oh my God,
get a pivin, you gotta see how this feels.
But now he's going to have to earn a pivin.
Christine, could you please go through all the news of the day?
Okay, let me see, wait, go down.
Let me see the headlines of the day.
All right, right here.
Giyot damn Asian chick got some serious body.
Okay, okay.
It's like some serious cellulite.
Absolutely.
Oh my God, that's gross.
Giyot damn.
Oh God.
Giyot means butt, right?
What?
God damn.
That's how black people say God. God damn means butt, right? What? It's like Gen Z or butt. It's like Gen Z or butt.
That's how black people say God.
God damn.
No, it's not.
100% of my life, Giat damn is how that's spelled.
Giat damn.
Giat is slang, is Gen Z slang for butt.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
What?
Hey, give her a pivot.
You are wrong.
Look it up.
I'm not just taking your Black Lou's opinion on this. Black Lou has wet dreams about you.
Technically she would get she would be minus two pivots. She's minus three now, right? She's minus
So she would be if you give her one she's minus two
Nah
Could be short for goddamn.
It's goddamn.
It's goddamn.
It's goddamn.
Goddamn!
That's what it is.
It's goddamn.
Goddamn.
That's what that, that ad, or that headline
is absolutely saying goddamn.
Yeah.
They came at you like they were schooling you.
Yeah, and they're wrong.
Just saying.
Wow, look at somebody trying to sneak a pivin.
Well, that's what I was saying.
Trying to get a pivin over there, Christine.
You didn't do a good job.
Because Bobby said you were right, but you're not right.
I didn't say she was right.
I said she might be right.
It's not right.
OK.
You shouldn't know the young sling, anyway.
Can I look at the rest of the news?
It's fit for black people, please.
Dude splits driver's window, then jumps on car hood.
Trump declares war on school D.E.
Oh, Department of Education.
Where is it the thing we're looking for here?
Here's somewhere, oh that's pretty funny.
A guy who's holding a green screen,
the girl to hold lighting for her.
She's a hot chick, he just gets a boner
in his fucking green screen suit.
And she starts, it's pretty real.
The guy's like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. And she's like, it's all right. He's got a raging boner in his fucking green screen suit and she starts like it's pretty real. Yeah, I think I'm so sorry I'm so sorry. It's all right
He's gonna raging boner in it. It was past that
AOC throwing some shade at Kamala Harris. Okay, no, that wasn't it
Grand Theft Auto India did AI
the official store
Come on, what is it? We're looking for here? You're looking for Kamala Harris.
It wasn't, god damn.
Here it is.
Yeah, there it goes.
Do it for the plot.
Can this happen?
Great ads, I knew it.
I knew it.
It's only a four second, three, two.
You can't subscribe to World Star, right?
I would if I could.
That is my question.
I'll start with you.
Joe Biden's been a phenomenal president.
He's lived up to so many of the promises he's made.
There's one promise left that he could fulfill,
being a transitional figure.
He could resign the presidency in the next 30 days,
make Kamala Harris the president of the United States.
Whoa.
He would absolve from being able to have that.
I think whenever I see black political people,
I always feel like,
I feel like black people that look at them and go like you corny ass fake ass
Motherfucker, that's not how you talk. Yeah, I don't believe it. I don't know black us up
Every time okay. There you go every single time. I say you're like this guy talks like this only in these groups
100% yeah for be stung him. He'd be like motherfucker exactly all hell's gnaws
Where's all the damn sir? Where's all the Zucker! Exactly. Oh, hell's gnaws. Goddamn!
Sir, where's all the Z's on the end of your hell and gnaw?
Loading this idea?
I think this is his actual accent.
No, no, he's worked himself into having this, though.
But every brother, stepbrother, cousin he, thinks he's corny as shit.
They don't believe him.
They're saying he forced himself out of talking like that
so he can be around these white folk.
This is so ridiculous because number one,
it would ruin Biden's presidency,
the fact that he couldn't make the last two months.
He doesn't have to do anything.
He just have to hang in there for two months,
which he can do.
It's gonna ruin his presidency.
He's gonna put an asterisk next to his shit
just so she can be president for two months,
which isn't even, she can't make anything.
She can't do anything.
One month, remember the birthday month.
But you know what it is?
I'll tell you what they wanted to do.
They probably wanted to do pass a few things
and give a couple people some jobs
before she fucking walks out.
Put some rims on Air Force One.
No, I don't think they have rims.
I don't think that's a thing, but yeah.
Hells yeah.
I like this.
Maybe some hydraulics in the plane.
Okay, hear me out.
Okay.
Jot this down, please, movie idea.
I need my pen.
We're gonna make the movie Airplane,
but with black people.
We'll call it Soul Plane.
Hear me out.
Something Malcolm X.
That was the funniest.
Do you remember this?
You might, were you in LA still when Kev did Soul Plane?
Yeah.
You weren't there yet.
I think so, no, I think so, yeah.
Cause there was, dude, Patrice one night
and some other, and Keith at the cellar
when he got Soul Plane, they came back
and he was telling everybody about the movie
and what it was gonna be. and they just kept making fucking shitty jokes
about how much it was gonna suck and the things about it,
and everything they said was absolutely in the movie.
It was like, well, it's Terminal Malcolm X,
and they're like, ah!
And laughing, and Kev's just like not saying things,
like, all these things are in there for sure.
Let me guess, Motherfuck pulls in with rims and hydraulics.
I'm like, yes. Yes. of you with rims and hydraulics? Yes.
Yes.
Famous rapper's gonna be involved somehow?
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
So Kamala Harris could have two months in the presidency.
Damn, I wanted to do it though.
Now why?
I wanted to decorate the whole White House
like Scatman Crothers' bedroom in The Shining,
just like fucking pictures of Panthers
and velvet like Jesuses and stuff.
She'd have to get rid of all of Biden's shit real quick.
Hell yeah, hell yeah.
I wanted to smell like fucking essential oils
throughout the whole fucking place.
An MC light poster above her bed, unframed,
just tacked up to the wall.
She says speakers everywhere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She only fucks in the Lincoln bedroom as a thank you for ending slavery. She puts her jacuzzi in the bathroom. The
Oval Office backdrop is Siroc. It's just a fucking wall of Siroc. She doesn't hate
the product, she hates the man, not the product. You could hate P. Diddy, you don't have to
hate Siroc. It's still a fine vodka. Flavored vodka?
Oh, it's so good to get underage girls to pass out with.
What?
Yeah, I mean, when you assume all those things,
who ate Zima?
I bet that guy was a pedo.
Zima, Jesus Christ.
Azalea, remember Azalea?
Yeah, yeah.
I did a college with Jay Moore,
and what the fuck is his name?
Ah, God, my brain's frying.
R.M. starts throwing names, Rob Schneider.
No, black guy.
Got into a car accident at Walmart.
Tracy Morgan.
Raquan.
No, Tracy Morgan.
Tracy Morgan showed up,
I think it's an hour and a half out of the city,
rented a stretch limousine for himself.
Uh-huh.
And he showed up with a case of a zale.
Nice. And he gets out with a case of Azale. Nice.
And he gets out with two bottles of Azale.
Come on, we're gonna have a party.
And they were like, you can't bring alcohol on campus.
And they made him get back into his,
so he sat in his limo by himself.
What?
Is it Azale?
Azale.
That's actually a thing?
Yeah.
What is it, A-Z-A-L?
I'm just saying, cause like, I've never heard of it before
and I'm thinking Al-Azay.
Maybe it's Alizé.
It's probably Alizé.
It's a blue, bluish.
Alizé.
Yeah, it's Alizé.
Is it Alizé?
Whatever, I don't drink.
Or anotic.
I didn't think of it the way I would say it.
I just thought it was another thing.
I was like, but I'm picking it up.
I go, wait, I thought it was something called Alizé
and that does sound like a black drink.
Alizale sounds like a black drink.
Azale, Azale sounds like something
fucking like boating people drink as ale
It's a fine wine
Al is a yeah
I never drank that at all but Goldschlager for sure that was just meant to finger a girl two years younger than you
But yeah, it was weird I never years younger than we would be 53 no no I'm saying when you're a teenager
It's like teenagers like get teenage girl drunk shit.
So weird, I did this before you.
I didn't drink underage at all.
Did you guys?
At all.
I was sober five years before I was legally able to drink.
Oh, I know, so you went through it already.
I didn't smoke weed until I was in my early 20s going to,
and I went to Amsterdam.
Well, you made up for it.
You didn't, I've caught up.
You've caught up.
I've done all right.
Yeah, you've done good. What are we talking know? I've caught up. You've caught up.
I've done all right.
Yeah, you've done good.
What are we talking about?
Weed?
I've done all right with it?
What are we even talking about?
Weed?
I forget.
That would be such a dick move, though.
I think that's a dick move.
You lost.
Does he have the ability?
I mean, he can do it, right?
She didn't really get voted in.
They just put her in, which is wild.
She didn't get voted in by anybody.
No.
She actually got voted out.
When she ran, they were like fucking
what's her name? Gabby Tulsa. Tulsa Gabby fried her on stage and the next day she was
in Tulsa whatever her name Tulsa King. Who else? She pushed her out.
Hulk Hogan won. Get out of here Kamala. He thought I was Kamala the giant Ugandan giant Handprint on her stomach. She blew smoke
Showed up because they got Hulk Hogan. Well, we got come all the good
She's put up with the moon on her face just come out with her tits out
Fucking bone necklace. Damn. That would have ruled damn. I love Kamala you gone the giant
That was the best time of Russian when you didn't have to be in shape to be a wrestler
No, not at all. If you were fat like we'll paint you up
Put a skirt on this girl for some wacky contacts on your face. Yeah
Kamala the Ugandan giant. Yeah, you had a moon on his stomach. Absolutely
Someone actually already did the Kamala makeup on her. That's pretty crazy
Now go back they had it on her face is TJ here
Other people are like that you have something on your forehead No, go back. They had it on her face. Is TJ here? No.
Other people are. Go like that.
You have something on your forehead.
Embarrassing me in front of everybody.
On top. Right there.
There it is. You got it.
Forehead boogie.
Kamala and...
Kamala. That's really funny.
Kamala one.
And the third.
You gondon giant.
I mean, Kamala Harris is kind of hot.
The big... It is. I gotta say, it's scary on the Republican side And the third. You, Gondon Giant? I mean, Kamala Harris is kind of hot.
It is kind of scary on the Republican side of this,
too, though, that the thing that worked.
And they were saying this on, maybe in Fox News
when I was watching it on election night,
was saying, they just knew how to hit white dudes, man.
Dana White, Hulk Hogan.
And is the middle of this country
that much of rubes,zo, that they're like, he goes,
Hulk Hogan said a brother and The Undertaker.
You know what I'm saying, to have that influence
or thing, as much as like, Joe Rogan
shouldn't influence your thing, or any of this.
Any of this at all.
Howard Stern's talk with Kamala Harris
shouldn't influence anything.
It's actually, that might be the most influential thing
of it, like, because he can give,
he could make her like, likable, you know what I mean?
Because it's not like, there's no really,
there's no really hard to go in on her.
They gave Oprah a million dollars.
Yeah, yeah, I heard Beyonce too.
Beyonce, they gave, they paid.
10 million maybe for Beyonce, they said.
Taylor Swift did nothing, nothing.
I mean, they, I mean, George Clooney,
I mean, every actor in Hollywood
was behind her and...
Do you know who didn't vote for Kamala weirdly enough
with all that Beyonce money?
All the single ladies?
But Elon Musk, Joe Rogan, and Dana White?
Christine, please, Christine, Christine.
I was taking my smiles back and forth in the room.
Paco's still laughing. All the single ladies. Let Pac the tacos laugh died down and then we'll go from there. Listen Filipinos. They laugh. Yeah
Laughing culture they sing and they laugh. They sing they laugh. They rickshaw people around their towns
They do all kinds of stuff. They videotape, they edit. They climb trees barefoot. Christine you were saying?
I was just saying to have Elon Musk, Dana White, and Joe Rogan.
I mean, it's a real trifecta of people
that dudes look up to.
Yeah.
Middle of the country.
Working class people look up to them.
Working class people don't relate to Oprah,
who's a billionaire, and they don't
relate to Taylor Swift, who's a fucking gazillionaire.
Well, I mean, Elon Musk is the richest man in the world.
Dana White, like, they're gazillionaires.
I think they have more money.
But he also sold all his houses
and lives in a fucking apartment,
and he's the richest guy on the planet.
And he went to Mars, he invented the fucking electric car.
This is all stuff to help people.
The common man relates to Joe Rogan,
who sleeps in an infrared room
and then wakes up and freezes himself,
then thaws himself out, then freezes himself again,
just to get the blood move in 15 different directions.
And don't forget he bought a comedy club
for shits and giggles.
He bought a comedy club for shits and gigs completely.
He goes, you know what?
Give the money to the cops.
I wanna have half of the comedy community
move to this town to try to maybe one day get on stage.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Yeah, I'll tell you what though, man.
If you're handy, Captain Duke Comedy,
get your ass to Austin, dude.
Oh, really?
Yeah, everything's first level.
Hey.
Hey, hello.
Oh, it's the 800-pound Gorilla Crew.
Hey, what's up, go?
What?
Yeah, hi.
What's your name?
That's the company.
It's the company, is what I'm saying.
Yes, it's the company.
No, I really thought you were. You know what I'm saying. Yes, it's the company. No, I really thought you were.
You know what I'm saying?
Hey, it's the 800-pound gorilla crew.
Well, not if it was like four black people walking,
and that would have been fucking,
that would have gone awkward.
Jesus Christ, that's not what I meant.
That's what you were saying.
You made it look like I was saying something bad.
I wasn't.
I'm saying the staff from the 800-pound gorilla company
is here.
Welcome.
That's a mouthful.
That was a mouthful.
The people, the persons of interest
who work for a company that is named 800 Bound Gorilla.
That works for comedians.
Yes. Yes.
Why 800 Bound Gorilla?
Seems to open things up to scrutiny.
I don't know. why is it 800?
Do you guys know why it's called 800 pound gorilla?
You can't ignore an 800 pound gorilla.
You can't ignore an 800 pound gorilla.
No, but you can run from it.
Yeah, you can go the other way from it.
Yeah.
Maybe run, I'd be scared of an 800 pound gorilla.
Also, you guys just released a Patrice special.
Could you maybe make the 800-pound gorilla word
smaller on the screen, please?
Because it just says Patrice O'Neil live 800-pound gorilla.
Yeah, that's kind of fucked up.
I'm like, name the special.
Yeah.
You should put the company that produced the thing,
800-pound gorilla.
Yes.
Inc.
Shit.
Inc.
And it's two white ladies, by the way.
And it's two white ladies by the way. You should be a little more descriptive with that.
Yeah, absolutely.
My apologies.
Please, let's hear what we're going to do with Trump's transition here again.
On those videos though, people flipping out about Trump winning, which are great.
One of the ones, I watched one guy
who made a bunch of compilations,
they were pretty great,
because he doesn't talk over them,
he just plays them, but there were some goodies.
The two lesbians that suggest that
in the next three months they're gonna get pregnant
so they can get abortions before it's illegal everywhere.
Wow.
That's a pretty weird thought to go through.
That's wild. That's psychotic.
That's a psychotic way to live.
Yeah, that was like if they were ending the-
I'm gonna go have a traumatic experience just to, because I can. Yeah, as if they were ending the- I'm gonna have a traumatic experience just to,
cause I can.
I'm gonna go put a dirty penis in me.
Yeah, we're lesbians, but I'm gonna let some guy
blow hot nut inside me and see hopefully
if I get pregnant so then I can kill it.
And I'm gonna wait the last possible minute too,
until it actually moves and I can see a little hand.
I wanna name it first.
I'm not a psychopath. Damn dude, that'd be a funny thing. I want to name it first. I'm not a psychopath.
Damn, dude, that'd be a funny thing.
I was involved in two abortions.
It'd be great if I named them already first.
His name is Ben.
Benjamin?
No, we were going to go with Ben.
We were going to try a new thing.
We'll never know now.
Miss Pat said on some interviews, she was like, oh, I have three babies and two ghosts.
I'm here.
Was it here?
Yeah. Two ghosts and two ghosts. I'm here. Was it here? Two ghosts.
Two ghosts.
That's the best.
Let's see.
Let's see if this guy can convince me to come out and be president for two months.
I wouldn't mind saying it.
Really?
Yeah, sure.
Honey, I'm completely weightless in this whole thing.
If it was Trump was going to get two months before Kamala's day is over, I would have been like in this whole thing. If it was Trump was gonna get two months
before Kamala Day's over, I would've been like,
sure dude, let me tell you why I go to World Star Hip Hop
for my news.
Christine, if you could X out of this for one second,
just escape out of it to see what the title says.
Do it for the plot, I'm with you World Star Hip Hop.
I don't really give a shit either way.
Whatever's gonna make a fun story
and hopefully not
Burn down wherever I live personally. I think I think it's illegal to do it. I don't think they can legally do it
I don't think they can yeah, he if he's fine. He can argue that he's not fine. There's another
by the way deeper page eight of world so hip-hop
Did you see him walking through the sand yesterday?
That's what I saw on World Star Hip Hop, Bobby.
She should take over.
That's available for you from World Star Hip Hop.
I didn't see it yet, I just saw the headline
on World Star Hip Hop, America's news source.
Him walking on sand is fucking the scariest thing ever,
that he has the codes for the nukes
and he can't walk through sand.
Yeah, what if he trips and fucking pushes his foot?
Look.
Ooh!
It looks like he just shit his pants.
Can I tell you something in fairness?
That's how I walk in sand too and I hate it.
That is how I walk.
All right, that's the weird,
the weird one he like shits his pants for a second
is what I don't like.
But why didn't they get wet sand
so at least he wouldn't sink into it?
I know, you're taking this guy down closer to the beach?
He kinda gets it together.
No he doesn't.
He looks crazy. He's still walking like his feet to the beach? He kind of gets it together. No he doesn't. He looks crazy.
He's still walking like his feet are tied together.
Where are we?
Look at his wife. What a bitch.
Who are you?
At least she could have walked stupid too.
Hold his hand.
Yeah, but she could have slipped a couple times like it looked hard.
Why is he on the beach?
Because they're making a photo.
They want you to know that he's not dead.
Yeah, he's not dead, but he's...
Oh, oh, hey!
Oh, this is tough to watch that he's not dead. Yeah, he's not dead, but
Look at the guy behind him with the binoculars just checking it out. Oh my god She's not even helping him
She hates by the way that guy's not going to check it for snipers, but it could never possibly hit this target
You'll never catch his rhythm. It's not the same two steps in a row
Maybe that's why he's doing it
Maybe she's just why you just spotted her to fucking get you like the wind trajectories and all that shit.
You know she's mumbling to him right now, get your shit together, Joe.
You look like a goddamn fool.
You're embarrassing me, you fucking can't walk on sand.
I can smell it, you shit yourself, didn't you back there?
She's covering her nose right now.
Did you poop, you fucking old coot?
Poor Joe Biden.
Yeah, poor Joe Biden.
Although everyone, also that is who they should be mad at, right, if they lost. That's what everybody says, be mad at Joe Biden. Why would you be mad at Joe Biden. Yeah, poor Joe Biden. Although everyone also, that is, they should be mad at right if they lost.
That's what everybody says, be mad at Joe Biden.
Why would you be mad at Joe Biden?
Because he didn't, I guess he said he was gonna step down
after one term, but then he just didn't
accept the nomination.
Yeah, but they.
That's what World Star says.
Don't shoot a messenger, dude.
I just preach the word, I'm the Paul Revere for world-star hip-hop
Well, I get the word thing though. I don't know if you know those Asian girls got fat asses now. Yeah damn
Yeah, yeah
Well, if he had stepped down after the first term term, she wouldn't have been they wouldn't have got it
She wouldn't have been in they would have voted somebody else in right?
Yeah, they voted her out before she was a bad candidate
She would yeah, she wouldn't have been voted in anyways. I don't think so
They would have put other people they would have went through the primary and then they would have got somebody else in there
This is this she got in through that. Yeah. Yeah, she wasn't getting besides that now for sure
Once a week she has spent eight hours getting hair put in
Cuz it's a.
That's a real hair, dude.
Is it? No, it's a real
hair, dude.
Yeah, that's not a you think that's a
weave.
She doesn't have a weave.
No, she doesn't. That's her real hair.
Doesn't happen.
She's half Indian.
That's her Indian part of her has. That's a real hair. Doesn't happen, black hair doesn't get that long. She's half Indian, her Indian part of her,
that's her real hair.
She's half Indian?
Yes.
No.
Yes, and she's not, what?
How come Indians aren't getting behind her?
Why just black people had to?
Well Indians did get behind her, but you had to choose.
You had to choose the Indian, like Russell Peters,
chose the Indian side.
Oh, so she could probably become
the Prime Minister of Canada.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Vance's wife Prime Minister of Canada. Yeah. Yeah.
Vance's wife is also Indian, I believe.
Who?
JD Vance.
Ew.
Yeah.
Oh, you know.
Indian Hindu.
Yeah.
Ew.
Why is that ew?
No, I mean, no.
You know, like a...
Hindu.
Yeah.
That's raw of you, dude.
I don't know.
I don't know anything about this.
JD Vance is a guy who wrote a book and they made a Netflix movie and then he's got a big Yeah. Ah. What's wrong with you, dude? I don't know, I don't know anything about this.
JD Vance is the guy who wrote a book
and they made a Netflix movie and then he's got a big face.
He was actually in the military for a long time.
Okay, what did he do, did he kill babies?
No, no, no, maybe.
Was he a baby killer?
Which war, Nam?
They all kill babies.
Was he a Nam?
He was actually.
How old was he, 80, 40?
No, he's 40 something.
He's actually really intelligent too, went to college. His mom was an alcoholic who raped him? Nope, not him. There he's 40 something. He's actually really intelligent too.
Went to college.
His mom was an alcoholic who raped him?
Nope, not him.
There's a book though.
There's a book movie.
Frances McDormand, I don't know.
Yeah, he made a book.
Was she in it?
Well the movie was real successful too.
Until he ran with Trump and then people hated.
Because he got raped by his mom?
Nope, didn't get raped by his mom.
Nope, that wasn't the movie.
I read the book.
You read the book?
First of all. The book was darker. It was like American Psycho. You don that wasn't the movie. I read the book. You read the book, first of all.
The book was darker.
It was like American Psycho.
You don't know how to read, you're not reading.
I know how to, oh, do I know how to read?
You can read.
Bobby, you want a karaoke with me real quick?
All right, let me rephrase that.
Let me rephrase that.
I don't know how to read, but I do read.
Okay, that's fair.
You know how to read and don't read.
I know, you're so jealous,
I could probably read a book in 55,000 times the time as you.
Oh yeah?
The first one's a floater?
Let's do it.
There's girls in the room and they love hearing about jewelry.
Hit me, Lou.
Woo!
Ooh!
We're back.
We're back.
That was good.
That was good.
Read.
That was goddamn good.
And you know what?
Under pressure, too.
Thank you.
These two white girls were looking at you you judging. I know. They were.
And then I read it so good.
You were real good.
Nothing gets girls wetter than dudes reading.
I don't know if I'd say that.
No, just generally speaking.
Yes, that's true.
Not these two 800-pound gorillas.
No, no, no.
What?
That's the name of the company.
No, but that...
No, no, no.
No, you said when they came in that I had it wrong.
No, they work at 800-pound Gorilla,
which is a company that produces albums, specials.
They work with comedians.
Okay, I heard the opposite when you came in to say that.
No, they're a Nashville company, very big.
Okay, that seems like a pretty important correction.
Bobby, thank you, you just got yourself a Piven.
Ah, thank you so much.
I got two Pivens.
Two Pivens today.
I'm so excited.
That's good, first hour, two Pivens,
those are good numbers.
Those are great numbers.
Hey, how many Pivenots you got, Jacob?
One from a previous show.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Resets?
Yes, it resets every show.
Unless you're in pivots debt like Christine,
who has to climb out of that debt.
She has to climb out of that debt.
She just gave me like, please, you don't have any pivots,
like you do.
Wow.
I have negative three, you have none.
You are negative three, yes. Oh, Jacob, I'm going to tell you so right now. I was negative three. You have none. You're is you are negative three, yes.
Oh, Jacob, I'm going to tell you so right now.
I was going to correct her and say negative two,
but you're right.
You are negative three, Christine.
Damn, dude.
Jacob.
I'll tell you what, in Trump's America,
I like the way you're taking a woman down a peg like that.
You just got yourself a pivot.
Congratulations.
Pure misogyny.
Congratulations.
That pivot is pure misogyny.
Good for you.
You are the king. We bring in so many more pivot drops
Once you one time I got out
Nice dude
that was a pretty funny on the woke people waking up and dressing Trump was a
Black I think was two black people talking but it was on CNN and one of them and the black woman does come out of like
The she's like look I believe that with the,
don't you be looking at me like that!
Like she just snaps on the guy next to her
as this completely comes out of character,
which is pretty great.
I think all these white people act like this too.
They're all animals themselves, that's what it is.
They all look like a bunch of stuffed up nerds,
and then they go to fucking Epstein Island
and fuck children.
Yeah, I agree with you. agree you told me that I didn't
tell you any of that I didn't say any of that said you were on the plane logs but
you're not worried you didn't do it don't say that in front of the 800 pound
gorillas whoa staff they don't understand English dummy 100 pound
gorillas no there's okay what if Katie comes goes Katie is home. Oh, they're talking
All right, go ahead to oversee the January 6 transition right of her own defeat and
It would make sure that it would dominate the new by the way pause it when a black guy's talking at a political thing
It's not a good look for a white guy to be laughing behind his hand while the guy's talking. That looks shitty.
Yeah.
A point where Democrats have to learn drama and transparency and doing things that the public want to see is the time, this is the moment for us to change the entire perspective of how Democrats operate.
Okay, this has now jumped from an internet meme to a Sunday morning show.
Jamal's out here writing a. This is gonna kill me until I say it and I have to ask it and I'm I think I know the answer.
That first black guy that was talking, that's not the guy who worked for Daddy Warbucks who took care of Orphan Annie, is it?
That's not him. Okay. That's not him. Okay. But that guy was Kamala Harris's father.
Yes, that might be true.
And that's why she loves 7 Up.
Because that guy was also the 7 Up guy.
Punjab.
Oh yeah, he was.
God.
What was that guy's name?
Punjab.
No, what was his name in life?
The guy who played Punjab.
Yeah, but he had a name.
I think that's what it always was.
Was it Punjab?
Yeah.
No, what was the guy actor's name in life?
Punjab.
No, no, no.
You go Punjab, the 7 Up guy. Yeah, but what? that's what everybody called him. Yeah, but he had a name Jeffrey hold
Christine thinks everyone deserves a name
What did the guy ever do for you so great that you couldn't just call him fucking punjab from Annie and 7up guy. I
Still call Godfrey Godfrey 7up guy behind his back. I short it to Godfrey when I see him
He won't like that and he's big and tough.
You know, Dane was the sprite guy.
He was?
Yeah.
The drawing?
Remember that guy with the squiggly hair?
No.
Go to the old sprite drawing,
I bet it looks like fucking Dane Cook.
Dude, you are fucking on fire today.
You have coke energy right now.
Sorry, I did coke.
I just smoked weed by myself.
No one here smokes weed.
No one's cool.
Shut the fuck up.
You guys wanna smoke them at you 800 pound gorillas?
Get these gorillas stoned and have them trash the place?
These are fine young ladies out here
from 800 pound gorilla.
I didn't name their company and decide to call them that.
All right, play the rest of it.
I thought you were gonna say, what about the Supreme Court? That's also out there. Well, the Supreme Court might happen. I mean, geez. I don't rest of it
That guy is boring Christine look up right now if you can get any sort of subscription to world star hip-hop
Is it even possible? Is there anything there's got to be another site maybe that no people know about where you could pay for it
Is it called white star hip-hop? That'd be pretty funny
It's just George Clooney and
Brad Pitt owner. Yeah, it's the same things with the same cops just them complimenting each other on their acting I need the headlines to say the same though
If I can't watch a white website say goddamn and take it seriously you guys are being ready
I would say they're being racist. I think that was the end of it
God damn and take it seriously. You guys are being racist.
I would say they're being racist.
I think that was the end of it.
Yeah, that would be wild if they do that.
They're not going to.
No.
It's illegal, you said, but made up with no real knowledge.
Yeah, that has no fact.
I just said that.
It has no fact at all.
I don't think it's legal.
I think it happened an hour ago.
I don't know that either,
but we're just saying whatever we want, right?
Yeah, I think it's happening right now
and she actually just changed everything when she won.
I think Trump, how about this, Trump dumps Melania,
hooks up with Kamala Harris.
Ooh, makes her VP.
That would be fun.
Oh, they call headline.
Oh, they could call headline.
They call president together.
So what would we say about the JD Vance thing
as moms are drunk and raped him?
So half the White House would be like hip hop,
the other half would be just gold and cheesy fucking.
I don't mind that dude, let Master P design that bitch.
That'd be fun, fucking gold sinks.
Half would be like a 50 cents house,
the other half would be just shitty gold furniture
and antiques.
That's gotta be fun the first time you take a dump
in the White House when it's where you live.
Mmm.
Like your first presidential dump.
I wonder if you could take a dump in the White House.
I wonder if there's a tour that you could take
and take a shit.
Oh my God, that if you just, like hey, you just go there,
they have to have a bathroom for you.
They have to have a bathroom and then you'd be like,
I gotta go.
But that'd be great.
You could shit in the president's bathroom.
Yeah, and then you wait, you have one of your friends
go in and take forever so you go,
I can't hold it anymore, I have to go in the Oval Office.
Yeah, it's Trump's bathroom,
there's actually McDonald's fries and stuff in there,
you could eat while you shit.
I like that.
It's gold paper towels.
I like that. Gold toilet paper paper towels. I like that.
Gold toilet paper.
I don't mind that at all.
Porn mags.
Yeah.
From the 70s.
I would eat french fries from McDonald's
while I took a shit,
unless it was one of the shits where I was masturbating to
because I do not want fry fingers and salt all over my dick.
Hmm, I don't mind that.
Really?
No.
You've jerked off with just eight fast food hands? I've jerked off with food that. Really? No. You've jerked off with just eight fast food hands?
I've jerked off with food hands.
Really?
Yeah.
Just eight.
I ate.
With your fingers and then began the jerk.
I ate and then jerked.
Sure.
I don't know if there was sauce,
but there was definitely, I didn't go,
if I'm gonna eat and then you want me to go clean my hands
and then jerk off and clean my hands again?
Why do you have to clean your hands again?
Why would you just, well, because after you jerk off
you clean your hands, right?
You wash them, like, in the sink?
I wash, yes, I wash my hands because there's jizz on them.
You just wipe them off.
With what?
Toilet paper, tissue.
Yeah, but if you wipe them.
You don't wash your hands after you beat off?
No.
Why, why are you saying it like we're fucking wrong?
I wash my hands after I go to the bathroom, for sure.
Yeah, you should wash your hands after you go to the bathroom,
but you should wash your hands after you jerk off.
There's jizz on your knuckles.
Sure.
So.
Yeah, but not anymore.
There's not, because I wiped it off.
No, but there's still, if you put peanut butter on your hand,
wiped it off, and then wiped again,
there'd still be some peanut butter. I'm concerned now that you think that your cum has the consistency of peanut butter on your hand, wiped it off, and then wiped again, there'd still be some peanut butter.
I'm concerned now that you think that your cum
has the consistency of peanut butter.
You're talking about a fluid versus a thick paste
of peanut.
It's not peanut butter.
It's more like yellow gelatin, but.
Yes, exactly.
I'm comfortable that I could wipe jello off my hands.
You don't wash your hands after you masturbate.
No.
Ever?
I think about all the times you've kissed my hands. Hello.
Buddy.
That's what makes me laugh behind your back
that I always present to you like this.
And I go, he's doing it! He's kissing my hand again!
You do. I know you do.
You're the most cleanest guy I know.
So if Justin Silver comes over right after you've masturbated,
hey, Justin, what's up, buddy?
You'll just shake his hand, high-five, and that's it? Yeah. And you don't see anything wrong with that? No. I don't know
how many times these things happen. My Jerichoft times are few and far between, but my whole
life has been this way. So yes, everybody in here has touched my hands, just wiped with
cum at some point. But one of us more than others. Sure. Yeah.
I touch his cum.
I mean, yeah.
You drank it.
Christine drank it.
How much do you think there is?
All right, sorry.
She sipped it.
Yeah.
Drank it down.
I'm not grossed out by Jay's cum.
Not at all.
No, but also.
That is the weirdest thing ever, though. To...
To...
The first person to just drink cum...
Stop calling it drinking cum.
That's an extreme pornographic act that's not even illegal in, I think, onshore porn
scenes.
All right, I'll change it.
The first person to swallow cum...
There we go.
...is, I mean...
First person to put a dick in their mouth.
Self-correction?
What are you doing?
Self-correct?
Bobby, self-correction?
Self-correction? We'll change it. The first person to swallow cum is, I mean... First person to put a dick in their mouth.
Self-correction.
What are you doing?
Bobby, self-correction.
Thank you, buddy.
Who calls for a pill.
Thank you so much.
I don't get one for defending your cum.
You can defend my cum and you go, I'm fine with Jay's cum.
You didn't say you love Jay's cum.
That would have been buttering you up a little bit.
You didn't say, I love it.
I love sipping it.
But man, I feel like if Bobby's peanut butter cum comes out,
it's going to hurt your dick hole.
Does it hurt to cum when you cum?
No, my cum is fine.
Do you go, oh my god, I'm about to cum?
Ah!
Ah!
Oh god, it's so thick.
I do make that sound.
It's not because of its thick.
I do. that's exactly...
There's a little blood on either side of your dick hole.
Ah! Ah!
No, my cum is regular.
Paco, question about Bobby's peanut butter cum?
Oh, well, just in general, how often...
Are you on a payphone?
That's not your fault. That's the microphone.
The microphone was terrible.
How often are you guys coming on your knuckles after jizzing?
I would say more likely knuckles.
Bobby, can I feel this?
Because Paco's a young man.
He doesn't understand that we're older than him.
Yeah, he doesn't get this at all.
Paco's problem is making sure he doesn't hit it
in his own eyes and hair and behind his thing.
That's not Paco.
We're older gentlemen. Yeah. Yeah, we're not...
If it runs down my knuckles, I'm like,
oh, good, I'm not dying yet.
That's the last bastion I'm not dying
that makes it overhand and down knuckles.
Yeah, we're not from the jungle eating bananas
and sipping on coconut juice all day.
Yeah.
Where it just shoots over our shoulder like you.
Sometimes it comes out just like when Dr. Pimple Popper lances a cyst and just like a
bubble of cum just comes out on top.
And you can almost grab it like that and just get rid of that.
Sometimes.
Yeah, my cum comes out sad.
Yeah.
A dribble.
Yeah.
At one point it came out black.
It was concerning.
He showed us.
But don't worry.
It went back.
It didn't go back.
I was panicking that it wasn't going to go back, but it went back.
It's my favorite story of you.
You shot a load on your arm and took a photo of it and sent it to your doctor.
Yeah, I had to.
It was black.
I shot a black load.
Yeah, but normally you'd put it, make it more medicinal, put it in a cup or something.
You just showed him a load on you.
On him.
Because I can't, buddy, I can't.
He was like, look at this load on my leg or arm.
It was my arm, but I can't.
It didn't dawn on you, your doctor was like.
What do you think, I come in Dixie cups?
On your arm's a weird spot, though.
Yeah, but this was specifically to show you.
On my arm was great, it shot up and hit my arm.
Oh, oh, okay.
I thought you were jerking off and went, yeah,
like painted it at your arm
and laid a few across.
No, it's not my thing.
I don't jerk off on my arm.
Well, now I know that.
I jerked off and it hit this arm.
Right, but that was specifically to show your doctor.
We don't need to show your doctor.
I can't know that.
What's that?
That was specifically to show your doctor.
No, I jerked off.
He did.
Send me a picture of it.
He showed me and Josh the doctors of love.
Oh, the second picture, yes, yes.
No, I jerked you.
You know what, I didn't know you were gonna CS us either. I did jerk off black and then he said well next time you masturbate
Show me a picture, but I didn't think ahead of time. Oh, maybe I should jerk off into a cup
I just said wherever it goes. I'll take a picture
On my arm. I'll just show us a new a picture
How's he gonna jerk off just show us a picture. It would have been so funny. Oh yeah. Buddy, if you. How's he going to jerk off?
Dude, you just sent a picture to him?
How's he going to come?
He was expecting a cup.
I wish you could have absolutely sent him
a picture of Josh's, Josh Edemire's face
with your load all over it.
He goes, look, it lands where it lands, dude.
But this is what it looks like.
It doesn't look OK.
Josh, I got to show this to a doctor.
Get over here, please.
I don't want to lose it. Oh, am I OK? Ah over here, please. I'm gonna lose it.
Oh, am I, okay.
Ah, oh, oh, so thick like peanut butter.
Can I ask you, can I ask you a question?
When you come, it doesn't land on your hand,
it lands, you don't get it on your knuckles?
So I.
Where are you looking at?
Why are you looking up to the sky?
Sticking about his answer.
You have to just close your masturbation techniques now?
What I'm coming?
When you have to shuffle back
your uncircumcised foreskin for three minutes.
It's circumcised, sir.
Is it really?
Yes, it is.
No, I wouldn't imagine.
I'll show you.
I will.
Yes, Bobby, it's circumcised.
I'm sorry.
I come into a trash can.
I'm gonna throw up.
What? When you masturbate. How far away is a trash can. I'm gonna throw up. What?
When you masturbate.
How far away is the trash can?
Because that's a fun game if it's across the room.
I walk to it.
Did your mother hit you as a child?
No.
Because you came on your bed once?
No.
You come in the trash can.
It's weird to like come on myself.
It doesn't feel weird that you go, I'm about to come, let me take a stroll.
My pants are on my ankles.
That means you have to jerk off in front of the barrel. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the
bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna
go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom
and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the
bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna
go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom
and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm about to come, keep thinking about sexy stuff,
but not the sexiest, not the sexiest now!
That's so stupid.
Kind of.
Why don't you just put a trash bag around your dick?
Well, sometimes I put a Kleenex on the tip.
What about when you empty the trash can and all the pieces of paper
that are stuck to the side like a fucking shaving accident?
You just got fresh load and a bunch of trash sticking to it on the side of your fucking barrel. There you go, Bobby
How can you buddy? I call it a barrel
You are their roommates. You have roommates. I have roommates. You come in the roommates barrel
No in my own trash can I have a trash can in my room and that's your cum can. Yeah
Yeah, is there a trash can and a cum can? No, there's a trash can, but you put the trash bag in it.
I'm not just going semen to plastic.
Well, why don't you get a cum can just for your cum?
Okay, I'm gonna say.
Keep it in your bed.
Hear me out.
Keep it in your bed so you can just roll over like.
Oh, dude, that'd be great.
Just like a chock full of nuts can, like old grease.
Well, I just love that this walk you do
is like part of your excitement in life.
You're like, oh God, get close.
You gotta get up and take a little walk.
You have to vampire up and then do a little shuffle over to a thing and then aim.
Like the whole thing, so much effort.
Yeah, you have to aim in the trash.
You have to bend down to the trash can.
How big is your trash can?
You have to bend down and come.
Oh.
Is he gonna crash down to your trash can like a little fucking troll?
Suck your head over it and you eat it.
Oh!
Paco, that would never be worth it.
That is the gayest thing I've ever heard.
Dude, I just don't want to mess anywhere.
Cause like...
Well, why don't you just... listen.
I'm gonna have to wash my hands then afterwards.
Why don't you just keep a barrel next to your bed and roll over and shoot it in the barrel?
Stop, this is all terrible, terrible advice.
Let's get the can out of the equation completely.
And let's go, any kind of biodegradable paper I'll accept.
And then throw that into a, maybe some tissue you can throw into the toilet and just flush
it straight to hell.
Why don't you just come into the toilet and flush it down?
Oh yeah, I say also, let's add multiple rooms to this. And the toilet and just flush it straight to hell watch just come into the toilet and flush it down. Oh, yeah
I say also
Let's add multiple rooms to this. I agree Bobby. Good call
Let's get out let's get him really pacing around the house jerking off of his pants or his ankles trying to get to a receptacle
I got it. I got it
You know when the banks used to have those little things the tubes the flu
And it sucks the money up get one of those for your room and it sucks and it sucks it right off your cock into the
Barrel. Oh, you know what? the money up, get one of those for your room, and it sucks it right off your cock into the barrel.
Oh, you know what, that's maybe true.
Get an HVAC system and just plug into the wall,
and then just let the fucking, the hose suck you off,
and then just take your jizz right to the unit.
Why don't you just come on the floor,
get a Roomba, and it will clean up the cum.
Yeah.
Roombas don't do dry stuff.
You are wrong, my friend, there's mops now.
Yeah, he has no mops.
This kid is so young.
Kids coming in a barrel.
This kid's running around to go squat over a tiny trash can.
That's the grossest shit ever.
I wanted to say Manchester United,
it's one of those ones you win in a carnival
and you're a kid, it's this big, it's just tin.
What do you do when you're on the road?
What if you stay at somebody's house?
Have you ever driven this?
Look out trash can.
No, you go to the bathroom.
And you come in their trash can?
No, no, no, in the toilet.
You're sitting on the toilet.
Do you jerk off at people's houses a lot, Bobby?
No.
Yes.
No.
Well, one of the answers is right, the other one's wrong.
The right answer will get you a pivin.
Do you like to jerk off?
Have you jerked off many times at other people's houses?
Yes. That's a pivin. Thank you.ed off many times at other people's houses? Yes.
That's a pivot.
Thank you.
Oh, fucking lost it.
It's okay, it's okay.
It's there, it's there.
Thank God.
Bobby.
Yes.
Whose house is the last person you jerked off at?
Ron's house.
Oh.
Well, I jerked off in Cuba.
That's somebody else's house.
Okay, you're coming over my house tomorrow for an hour.
I'm gonna jerk off.
Okay. In your barrel.
In my barrel?
I'm gonna jerk off in your bathroom, into your barrel.
I just want, I'd like to see you,
I want you to jerk off in my guest room,
but come into the toilet of my bathroom,
just so at some point I just gotta see the door open
and you just run by with your tootsie out,
and your weenie in your hand, just run into the bathroom,
and it goes, sorry you, got a second, whoa!
I'm just gonna gargoyle walk over to your barrel. Oh yeah, and I'm like, Christine,
did you put peanut butter in the toilet?
No, Bobby came in there earlier.
I'm gonna run to the barrel like a fucking iguana?
That is so weird, dude, that is fucking crazy.
You gotta learn a new technique, son.
You're gonna get old someday,
and you're not gonna make it to the bathroom. You're gonna break a hip.
Yeah, dude, you're gonna have,
this is what you do, just get the paper towels,
put it on your belly like a sheet of paper.
This is Jacob's move.
Jacob gives himself a landing pad.
We should give him, why don't we have a cum scroll
made for Paco?
We had a custom leather cum scroll made for Jacob
where you light, you unscroll it, it's leather,
lies over your belly and it has point system.
10, 20, 30, 40 points and if you hit it,
you can actually play a game.
And you can't lie because the load stains the leather.
Yeah, and you roll it back up and then there you go.
What happens if you shoot beyond the 40?
Then you swallow it like a man.
No witnesses. Yeah.
You never tasted your own jizz?
Paka, before you answer, we already answered.
No one believes you.
But there is the thing is, that's always a loaded question.
A loaded question?
Nice.
You get a fucking pivot for that.
Thank you. Woo your just? A loaded question? Nice. Nice, you get a fuckin' pivin' for that. Thank you.
Woo!
Woo!
Bobby?
Yes?
I'm starting to think maybe through time.
I'm gay?
No.
Oh.
Through time.
Yes.
You may have your own stack of pivins
you're able to give out here.
This is a 50-50 partnership of a show.
Yeah.
I will say you should be able to divvy out your pivins
the way you see fit.
I don't like that you don't have a reward system. The problem is you were gone a lot
last month or so. You were gone a lot. And I had to really keep control over a
crew that was turning into pure mutiny over here. They were turning on me each
one of them, headline by goddamn Christine. She can't wait for you to get
out of town and just turn on me in front of our guest hosts and make me look like a
goddamn fool. So that is why she's eating shit in Pivenland right now.
But you should be able to fairly give Christine Pivens.
Christine's face.
She's thoroughly disgusted.
The girl wants Pivens.
She wants Pivens nice and bad.
Well, maybe when we get some more Pivens,
when we get our new order of Pivens.
Yeah, we're going to get a new order of Pivens coming in.
There's his, uh.
Come scroll. Come scroll.
Come scroll, I think.
Play the sound.
Play the sound for it, right here.
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Fantastic.
Have you ever used it?
It's so nice.
Jacob?
It's so nice.
Jacob?
Hang on Jacob.
The work is too...
Jacob, Jacob, Jacob.
It's a yes or no question.
No.
It's a yes or no question.
I haven't.
And a pivin is on the line.
The right answer will get you a pivin.
Have you masturbated and used the cum scroll yet?
It doesn't...
You don't know which answer is the right answer.
But I do.
And I do know the answer.
So to get a pivin.
A lie would only hurt me.
I haven't.
You're not gonna get a pivin?
But you are still, it's a push.
I knew.
You're not negative pivin.
Right, that's more important.
That is more important.
You could be over there in fucking Schittsville
with dumb ass over here.
I don't wanna be Christine.
I don't wanna be Christine, man.
You got a three pivin deficit.
It is right now, so I can at least get to zero.
Well, why don't you earn a pivin?
I don't have to carry over.
Well, that angry face isn't gonna get you a pivin. Yeah, get that vein out of the middle of your head, you add another pivin? I'm not gonna carry you over. Well, that angry face isn't gonna get you a pivin.
Yeah. Get that vein out of the middle of your head.
You want a pivin.
Pivin doesn't like that!
God! You know what?
I just went to regroup.
I watched Entourage.
Huh?
I watched Entourage.
Shouldn't that give me a pivin?
No.
No.
That actually gets you...
You should also get a half a pivin taken away from you.
No!
I was like, also, when Christine gets...
I know it's a Starbucks fruit
and cheese plate thing, but watching Christine
eat a nice brie cheese with apples during the show,
I don't know why it annoys the shit out of me.
Watching anybody.
A little French bistro fucking food.
I saved this for you.
Thank you.
Watching anybody eat brie should annoy you.
Brie sucks.
Brie sucks. It comes, it's wrapped in in wax and real assholes will eat that wax Christine knows if she eats that wax man
I would rather fucking I would rather kiss her cum hands
You know when I watched her putting the cheese on the cracker
While we were talking all I could think was oh Bobby stood on line for two hours for that piece of cheese
I did two hours. I didn't realize sorry, but I didn't mean just almost eat it
I'm gonna say a prayer over this cheese and cracker. I have here. I realize now in other countries
This is a blessing and the only thing will keep you alive
As you're stranded in a wet hallway with your Jewish friend who wants to go on a Parisian adventure through a hurricane
But first of all, we didn't get crackers 800 800 pound girls are explaining who Ari Shafir is.
He's a problem.
Hey, he shits on floors.
Wait, Bobby, I have a question about Cuba.
Yes, ma'am.
You said those old cars.
Is it Mexico?
The 50s style cars that were left there.
Are those all still there?
It's like part of the Cuban decor.
Yeah, the government actually refurbished them
and keeps them going because the taxi drivers use them so they make money off of the taxi drivers
Yeah, but they're not cool. No, they're not hybrids at all. They still electric, but no, they're not elected all Tesla's nothing nothing at all
They're all these old crank tank engines
There it looks like you're back in time when you look at pictures the way they used to make those the way these make
Cars are amazing. If you drive a car from the 50s that still runs, you should be allowed to hit your wife.
Because that's, you should be able to bring the 50s back.
If you can make it still, if you can make a 50 cars run,
you should be able to treat her like it's the 50s.
I have no mechanical skills,
so Christine, you are fucking safe and sound.
No hands are gonna be raised to you.
You can hit your wife in Cuba.
No. Yeah.
All right, Christine, let's at least go see
what all the hubbub's about.
Oh. We'll be right back everybody we have to break. It's the bonfire!