The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hardcore (w/ Lil Kim & Shane Gillis)

Episode Date: October 14, 2019

Shane Gillis rejoins the show and the gang looks into the history of mens social clubs. Jay judges Dan's party hosting skills and Queen Bee Lil Kim joins the show and agrees to judge the guys as they attempt her Hardcore pose.

You're listening to Comedy Central! BAM! Hey, I'm Big J.O. Persoon. And I'm Dan Soder. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th 8PM on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on demand on the Series XMF.

Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM. Hi everyone, welcome to the Bond Fire's Best of the Week. Long time friend to the show, Shane Gillis stopped by on Monday and revealed to Dan and Jay that his dad is a proud member of the Elk's Club, which prompted the Bond Fire hosts to school him on the club's not-so-inclusive past. Enjoy. I was in Orlando with Magic Place, with, match replace, Lewis J. Gomez. Lewis J. Gomez. Real ass dude. Real ass dude.

We top golfed one day. Yeah, I saw. Tony watching Lewis, he doesn't have, I wish I would, he took a video of me swinging the golf club. I wish I would have taken one of him and put the subtitle under it. Kiyah.

Yeah. See what he's doing? He's just, he just, he just has karate. It's all it. Kee-ah. Yeah. Yeah. What he's doing. He just, he just, he just, he just does karate. It's all armed. It's all armed. And I don't know, I'm not good at aiming a golf shot in any way. I'll, I'll watch you. I watched you.

I watched you. I saw your cut. Wasn't great. Yeah, but not a great cut. Let me defend Jay. I'm sure, yeah. Let me defend Jay and say someone that's top golf with him. Jay hits straight and far.

Mine, I looked at great, but the job gets done. You're a whacking of the ball. I pull back. Good. I didn't follow through nice at all. Nice stuff. But I remember I got to keep that head down to be honest with you. That's a step one. Yeah. Keep your head body. I don't know. Also, I remember was it Kurt playing catch or Lewis? It would be people, you would bring, I remember you put, brought Lewis to play basketball one time. Oh yeah.

God damn. It has to be brutal. Yeah, it's brutal man. He's just very aggressive. He's all, he plays defense. He thinks it's not a foul if he puts his arms on either side of your arms. Like from behind you, do you know how I mean? Like actually boxing you in.

And he's like, what? He's like, that's a foul too. That's a foul. Oh, that's a foul. But he tries. He tries. He does. He dribbles in front of himself.

Like, you know that move. Definitely slaps the ball. Yeah, nice ball. What's that? Listen, I suck. But it did make me feel good. You suck? Yeah, when lose show up. I was like, what's up? I feel good It ain't kind of no idea. He's doing a basketball either Really never never played it growing up. Oh, I played it a little bit

But always always played football and baseball and never played basketball sucked Yeah, could you give me you can throw football good and all that stuff. No problem baseball you're good at fun Yeah throw baseball Although I couldn't now if you put me in a fast pitch. Oh, fuck no bad ass bitch. No, I was in a bad age when I waited till you know chance out to get a rip of one I mean, that's all I'm doing to be terrified that a 95 mile an hour ago I got rocked in the ribs when I was like 10 and it just changed the way I played I couldn't play baseball.

I think it's just like, I think it's between talk forever. I go, hey guys, what's going on? The puncher solar plexing forever. Those Caminos had a softball team and all the restaurants that were owned by the company was the league and it was fun as fuck.

I wish I got it. I got it. Yeah, go drink on Mondays, play softball in the park, it was fun as shit. That would be great, yeah. I guess I get how it's fun as shit. That would be great, yeah. I guess I get how it's fun, but- So fucking waiter, I don't know what to do. Nice to watch my dad would go to that, who'd play softball.

At the night to Columbus. Oh, shit. I'd just play on the dirt behind the dugout. Yeah, all these dudes would just get fucked up. Yeah, that means all you dead belong like a water buffalo lodge. Uh, the night to Columbus, the Elk's lodge also. Really? That is right. That was double dipping. After the night to close, of Columbus, the Elk Slodge also. Really?

That was double dip. After the Knights of Clothes now, he's exclusively Elk Slope. And what are those social clubs, right? Yeah, there were white supremacist groups. I mean, what are they actually? It's just like the sitter-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er-er- the protective order way go back and just say Elk's lodging. Oh god, yeah, bring it up. Christine bring it back up They got a strip club like somewhere, you know guys from billions might hang out. We had Detroit strip club. Yeah, maybe man and protective order of Elks

Yeah, you're so exact the call then was trying to get me booked at the McCann expert Elks. It's a fraternal this week It's restricted to white men uh... uh... has more filbelong stuplicit only for white men now membership was originally restricted to white men

all of the organization now has a more much like the ball so you could be uh... as long as you're mostly white hold on like every single club in America It was originally restricted to white men Christine go to Go to Richard now damn it elks come on. It says this is article Seven of the Constitution of the but never 73 73 hold on let me read this real in the voice it should be read in.

No person shall be accepted as a member of this order unless he be a white male. He's citizen of the United States of America, a sound-minded body of good character, not under the age of 21 years in a believer in God. Well, I can tell you this, I've been there in no way there is a sound-minded mind-and-body. No one there is a believer in God. Well, I can tell you this. I've been there in no one there. It's like your fucking mind, Lord, mind your body.

No one there is of sound body. I've been there. Throw out your antler hat, Black Lou. Black Lou? They don't want you. He's just disappointed. He's about to put it on here. Yeah.

Because for white men only. No. What are we, antlers? What's that? What are the thoughts on women, Christine, if you don't mind going up over there? Yeah, we'll go back to see what we're going to think. We'll go back to we got gas. There we go great the elks have traditionally been an all-male fraternal order unlike many male orders It is you imagine that official female auxiliary can you imagine that Billy Jean King the bus to throw into that

She's like I would be an elks launch member and they're like I'll wear your fucking hat all right Carol Carol settle down Carol you can be a fucking member there. That shall be no branches or degrees of membership in the order. No, any insurance of mutual features. No, I shall not be any of the adjuncts of the exhilarers. I guess the Elk Slodge just believes crazy things, and they just never changed the rules since people were in fields picking up What the fuck are you going at?

Are you a little stroke? You know what else is made of cotton? No dude, ball of branch sheets. Hey, it's Blackloo. On Tuesday's show, Dan came in happy after hosting a Monday Night Football Party where his beloved San Francisco 49ers won. But that didn't last. Turns out Dan only brought food to the party for himself and Jay pointed out his poor hosting skills. What I was saying about the Niners is that you've had a lot, you've had a super bowl recently. Yeah. It's been a while since I've watched the Niners beat up on a team when we're good and

then it's not disappointing, you know, when it's not just like the season's over and we're two in fucking ten. Yeah, so. And then you get a big win and you're kind of like, who gives a fuck? This was nice to care about a game, go home and watch it and it's a blowout. Hell yeah.

We were like, oh man, we haven't had a blowout in a while. Yeah. Yeah, me and I were like, would you eat? I had street meat and I really regret it. Really? Really regretted it. Why? I hurt my stomach.

Last night I heard it. I ate it and immediately it was like, I was waiting for everyone to leave so I could shit. What would you sweet treats? Peanut butter M&Ms So wait a second you got Street meat and went home and watched the game with people. Yeah, what are they? Uh-huh They showed up in different at different times still we have different

We have different takes on entertaining. Well, you're a mother head. Everyone's like you're good. You're really good at it. You're fantastic at it. You order great foods. I got people come over to watch a football game for Christ's sakes. We're gonna have some food. Yeah, but Vecchion, we didn't coordinate and I'm a little bit more. Me and Stepcourt agree on nothing. Most importantly lighting. And even he was nodding his head that yes, you have people over for a football game You got to plant some food. Sorry dog lone wolf Dude if I came over your house to watch a game and you walked in with your own food

I'd fuck I would kick it out of your head. I would fucking I would do one of these kicks You know when you live with your knee up first like like the fake with the left you would go Ha ha and it would go it would launch straight up your fucking street meat. Yeah Exactly I do a hip-hack. Yeah Yeah, no, I suck. I'm not good at it. I'm lone wolf. That's more than sucks That's downright rude what you did no because he was vecky on Katie Jason canner sure what are we doing for food is a group phone call our text I didn't the group is too scattered. I heard rumors of bailing. I didn't I'm sticking by a little off there

A lot of them it's fucking crazy. That's crazy. Yeah, well it's bad hosting. Shut up other hand I'm not a mother-hand. I'm an adult. That's an adult move. You're great at hosting. I'm terrible I'm not even great Christine would argue that I'm not great. head. I'm an adult. That's an adult. You're great at hosting. I'm terrible at hosting. I'm not even great. Christine would argue that I'm not great. How is that possible? No, I mean, you think about it for sure. And you've always hosted stuff. I'm also a guy. I get three bags of chips and I put the bags of chips on the table. And Jay's also always had like a woman on the other side to help with the entertaining. Like before me, like Carl, when they would do bar do barbecue and stuff like it wasn't like a point out dance of bad host because he's lonely cool cool that is on hey Christine my dad's dead

Jesus Christ this is also Falconi just sent this in regarding your I can't even fathom not feeding my guests now I'm happy for thanks for bringing it up Falconi I'm a pod hit and I forgot we were talking about it I'm like we had a great topic going and Dan said something about something that threw me off I know what Dan does. He's trying to throw me off I had people come over last minute and threw together a quick chicken parmium part of hosting is feeding But maybe they just because Italian

We're done being because you're a dumbwop Italian, this is because you're dumb being, it's because you're a dumb walk. Jesus. Fuck it, stupid. One of the Italians is gonna stick up to themselves. Fuck it, Italian. That one never gets angry at that. Oh, you want to be in support?

Shut up. Be an adult, bring your own food. B-Y-O-F. Bring your own food, because I'm gonna, that's what Dan says. I don't know, do you have street meets? Because I do. Everyone comes over and Dan goes, there some good place right for you guys one

I got a sandwich coming in just a motherfucker I got a hot one coming in you guys probably god damn memory smells good then he goes I'd give you a piece dude But I am fucking starving No, I lost crazy I got home. I mean, in my defense, no one was over by the time I was done eating because Vekky on in Katie started the game while I was here. And then when I got home, they had already watched 40 minutes of it. And I wanted to watch from the beginning. So I watched it. They went in Mike's room. I ate my entire meal and then Jason showed up then. So no one is over when I was eating in front of anyone. Mm-hmm.

But still, it's fucking you guys. Still, fuck the world. What did you give them to eat when they were there? Nothing, because they're adults. What does that mean, dude? No, I wasn't like a dinner party. People were coming over watch a game. What's a fucking dinner party?

That's like sure as a dinner party. Listen, I know I'm wrong. I absolutely know I'm wrong, but the stubbornness in me says fuck all of you. Keep fighting it. Yeah, I will. But you know you're wrong, I know I'm wrong. I absolutely know I'm wrong, but the stubbornness in me says fuck all of you. Keep fighting it. Yeah, I will, but you know you're wrong. I know I'm wrong. I should have had chips in salsa at least or maybe like What? At least. Yeah, but I came right from work. You guys were taking forever to take a picture. I wanted to go home and watch a game It's insane. You were saying that also it wasn't you you guys were taking for it. It's a take issue.

There's nothing taking forever out. We were taking the picture in the studio. You were relieving the studio. You're taking forever. Then you said, if it was you wanted to watch your game, we'd have been out here at 7.55. That's insanely false because I DVR everything I watch. I DVR the game too.

So there's no reason to argue. I wasn't holding you up even a little bit. If you wanted to end the show early to leave early, you could do anything in the show early. I do everything wrong. You would just snap. I do everything wrong I'm just a down-ass white boy. Yeah, you don't know. You're the most chill brother on the scene for sure Provided snacks and things. I'll just sit here. You tell me how to live my life. I have no idea how to do it Fuck you fuck the Eagles go Niners bring your own food be an adult

Fucking children raise yourself. I did pick your own food. Be an adult. Fucking children, raise yourself. I did, pick your own self up, you fucking turds. Wednesday was a big day for Jay and Dan as one of their all-time music idols, Lil' Cam made an unscheduled appearance on the show. Check out their pre-interview excitement and the arrival of the Queen B. Jacob has guaranteed that within this show's time,

Lil' Cam will be walking in the studio everybody Little Kim who just walked out of here I can still smell the thug bitch in the room She walked out as we were walking in she was on Bev show Bev then went on to I believe high five and jump hug Dan No, we fall on kids walk by me and she walked by a nut checks me. She went, don't look at me. And Jay didn't look at her. We were out in the hallway then and you didn't flex any of your black love in the hallway. I walked right up and I asked if little Kim, I said is she going on a shade 45 and they

said yeah, who kid and then she can come on our show later. If she's still there. Black Lou, you're down with me right you're still holding on to this. What do you mean what's up you know what I said or you trying to find an excuse answer which you've been down me since day one. Oh always. Black Panther with the black Panther, so fucking cool. So cool. I'll walk onto forever.

I feel like if I had an office job, my Photoshop game would be much better. Oh, look, Bev wants to come back in. She didn't touch enough. Yeah, peeking in our windows. That's a little, I think that's a little Kim. Uh-uh, that was bad. The girl in the green?

Yeah. No, that's not bad, but that's also not a little Kim. And if you... No, I said that was a little Kim's people. And if little Kim knew, you just said, a little Kim. You called her a thug bitch. Yes she is.

Fucking gangster little day she dies, dude. Who you thuggin' who you wanna be hugging? Come on! Come on! You guys aren't psyched for Lil Kim like I am. We have a whole day. We have what a black show today, man. Lil Kim, Michael Rappaport's coming out.

Yeah. Oh shit, Lil Kim. That's Jacob. It would be great if he came in and a Ruby Red wig. Jacob. Yeah. A little Jacob. Hey, y'all.

Hey guys, I'm the baddest producing. Sorry about. A plus world we're living little Kim she's coming really shut your mouth let's do it don't you know how the new album nine is out Friday single found you nice okay now you guys all heard this is great they'll We're on the air dude. Telling you. So funny. Yeah, this is what you can't talk about.

Absolutely not. Dude, I say it. I didn't know this anyway. I'm just saying it right from the mic. I'm going to hang on. The rage and all the money. Yeah, that's all pretty easy. This is so exciting.

Yeah. It's easily Queen B, dude. Yeah. There's all pretty easy. This is so exciting. Yeah, it's easily Queen B, dude. Yeah, there's like iconic this is I mean for both of us huge huge We also know sci-fi we can name drop sci-fi sounds Cuz she knows cuz sci-fi. Yeah sci-fi went on tour with her. That was a dig for a long. Yeah for a long time I think for one of the first two or So exciting. Hi, how are you? Hey, how you doing? Ah, I have a seat. Take a seat. Yeah.

Welcome to Comedy Central Radio. I like it. I'm Jay. This is Dan. Everybody joining us on the bonfire right now. I need to icon. Icon. Little Kim and studio everybody.

Yeah, thank you. This is a big thing for Jacob, because we just told the audience that he promised you were coming in for sure definitely. This way if you didn't come in it was really going to ruin everything for him. James Vision boarded it. He believed it and it happened. He believed it and. The pressure.

You're welcome. He's like you saved my job. You're going around serious promoting a new album coming out. Yes this Friday. Yep, this Friday. It's out. It's called nine. I'm a huge huge fan Yeah, he was not so many found out you were in the studio before our show you're in here for a Beverly Yeah, he went nuts. He was like, can we please get little Kim on? Oh my god, you're melting me Yeah, yeah, and then he only spoke to us in little Kim lyrics Melting me. Yeah, yeah, and then he only spoke to us in little Kim lyrics That is very very creative. It's true. And then DJ lose started smelling all the seats, which I think is weird We didn't like that. Which was rude. I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all

I didn't like that for one second. Yeah, no, we were very very excited that you were even in studio at all We are big big fans, which I mean poster. When I first started doing comedy in Philadelphia, the poster for hardcore first came out. We were doing, we said if we didn't get to meet you today, we both wanted to just do the pose and the lobby. I hope this is going to do that. Oh, we nailed it. We nailed it outside. We know it was really weird for you.

If we get a picture, if we get a picture with you, we'll do the pose and you can stand. Okay. And you can tell us if we're doing the pose right. That's a deal. Oh, I'm doing it right, Dan. Yeah. I might need help, but Jay nailed it. Jay went right into it outside. We're smoking.

I'm definitely doing it right. Jay dropped right into it. Like he doesn't want to. He dropped right into it. Oh my God. Yeah. I thought I had to do my old man hike the shorts up first. So to get the room, you white daddadded it and then dropped into it.

You don't want to drop into a hard core poster pose and then split pants. Yeah. These are fat white guys. That's not going to roll good in this town. That would intrigue it. The album 9 on Friday, the 9th album? No, it's not my 9th album, but 9 is just a very good number for me. It's a spiritual number.

Yeah, we're getting into numerology. Yeah. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one.

The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one.

The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. The first one is the first one. Yeah, and that's a original man. I don't know. I don't know. Somebody does me Cory Phillips, not original man. But the album's coming out. I mean, that's, it's, where we have actually a mutual friend of what, it's Cypher Sounds.

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah, we've been doing comedy with him for years. So I haven't been with him for a long time. I'm like the first, like the first, I think I'm the first artist he ever did. Yeah, that's what he said. I saw him last night and we were just,

it's just, it's very random that you're on the show because he was talking about that last night. We're at the comedy seller. He's he's a son of a row with me for a long time. Yeah, he's the man. He's been on the show a bunch. He's a friend of the show. He owes me 25% yeah. You know, he's a first. You know, he's a practical Joker's cruise again. So you make sure you get your money. He's going to be on a boat. We'll get him. He's going out of Miami. I know where the port is. Oh, thanks for telling me. So you make sure you get your money. He's gonna be on a boat. We'll get him. He's going out of Miami. I know where the port is. Oh, thanks for telling me.

Have you ever done one of those immersive fan experience things, like a cruise ship or something like that? Like a, what do you mean? Like a little one. I go to hip hop. Not like a carnival cruise, obviously. By me, sometimes they charter. I've been on the ones with the rock bands,

where they get big bands and they charter a whole cruise. But it really is, you really gotta be with the fans, like that for a bands, and they charter a whole cruise, but it really got to be with the fans, like that for a couple of days. Yeah, you did, yeah, you know, I did do, I did do for like two days, the Tom, Joiner cruise thing, that he did that, that was like the first and only time I've ever did.

Too much. It was a lot. It's a lot. You just out to see. Yeah. Me and Dan performed on the Impractical jokers one. And it said there's a time where you have to like, you're like, first of all, I can't go eat that goddamn buffet one more time.

No, you know what was interesting is when we were performing, you can literally at times feel the boat like, yeah, yeah, while we're performing, I think, okay, yeah, we're trying to do comedy and everyone's in the audience getting seasick Cuz the belt cuz the plates jumping around we used to perform the comedy seller downtown New York Used to do a comedy cruise ship, but it was just around the three hours around the island And they would have you do comedy on it But it's like an old-timey like paddle boat and they have you on the front of the boat So you have to like stand on a karate stand It's like a cruise ship. It's like a movie.

It was ridiculous. I remember doing one of the late shows on those cruises and being kind of half drunk and then having to like surf during the show and it's not fun. No, that's not fun. Entertaining on a boat. We're on dry land. That's, let's try doing that in heels.

Yeah, oh, yeah, she beat us. I beat you. Yeah, you'll do it. You'll do it. I'll get the word. Let's do a never performing sexy outfits. We're always so restricted by our sexiness. We have to wear these comfortable hoodies.

That's the one thing about comedy you don't get to do. That's why I love, my rock star envy is rooted in that. Being able to be really, it's the kind of over the top flamboyant and like, you know, like aggressive with style and stuff like that. Anything I've done, and I've done plenty through my career, but like getting my nose pierced even in like 30 or 32 whatever it was, coming home the comedians,

like no one goes like awesome look. Like the fuck is wrong with that? What do you do? I'm lucky that my fashion choice is guy cleaning out his garage. So just watch. Yeah, oh no. Yeah, dance a fashion icon if you're a 40 divorced dad.

Yeah, if you're trying to win your kids back. I mean, let's put you in the room. Yeah, are you going on the road? Yeah, I definitely want to go on the road. Okay. I have some ideas for the tour, but. Would you make people bag up their phones, or do you like when people have their phones out

recording at the live shows? I don't know. Sometimes I like it, sometimes it's like, I wish they didn't. Yeah, just stay in the moment. You can't lose in the audience. But you know, you want people to have their moment and their remembrance of that concert, you know?

Could you use two white, less than rhythmic backup dancers? See? Of course I could. Yes. You heard it here. Could you use two white less than rhythmic backup dancers? Of course I could. You heard it here. Yeah. Fuck all these Comedy Central were with little Kim now. I've always wanted to say this. I don't like you via calm. I don't like who's a company.

Stupid ass Comedy Central. I'll say this. My checks are late. You guys treat me like shit when I call HR. Fuck you guys. I work for little Kim now. Who's the boss of all of it? Fuck you

You're making me so happy You heard it right now now we're all the baddest bitches. I know you've had a big press day So we're gonna let you go. Thank you so much for taking the time with us to come in We're gonna take a break so we can take a picture with you. I'm getting hardcore Little came everybody the new album nine coming out on Friday So amazing to meet you. Thank you so much for being here Thank you so much. Here's a little back and forth that happened with the guys after they got back from break I was caring. I know all the back look for you. You're here. No, she's looking for you

She wasn't she came to fight me. Yeah, why she found that fucking little Kim likes me She did high five. He didn't know that I don't know if you saw she hugged me, but it's she would in for those What's up? I fucking knew you're gonna bring that up Cuz fucking badass black people like me. No fucking door radio host Please not even sort of kind of that was a whole approach didn't reach out for it even sort of wouldn't it would never have done that You were like this million years didn't happen your man. You're making that up big man and you came in for a big hug I didn't you think I intimidated it Yes, no, she said I remind her of bigs

So I should not be saying that a rapper, but she like in my craft. Do you know what she said? She whispered about you About me. It's pretty sweet of her. Yeah, she was friends by piggy. No, no, that's said. That's what she said to you when she hugged And she went, you're a little cease. I have five more. Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM East on Comedy Central Radio. Serious XM 95 or on demand on the Serious XM app.

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