The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Heartthrob City

Episode Date: June 29, 2022

midroll-23:14Jay is back and asks about how the day with Christine's old crushes went. The gang discovers a new polyamourous voicestramentalist on America's Got Talent!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay... Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. Yeah. Guess he's back. Yeah. Did you guys know this in the metal yesterday? Yeah. Actually, we had a fucking great lead in song Sean picked Deftones and I said you would appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:00:21 I was very much appreciative. I was like that's a song that Jay would have loved coming in here. I was trying to think of the scientist from Ace Ventura because it was this reminds me of when he goes in and he's like I'm looking for I forget what the guy's name is these head banging because Jay was doing that kind of head banging The Christine was so steamed up by all of her favorite heart throbs in a room yesterday She had to get after work shower. Can I tell you this right now? Christine ever takes an after work show. She had a shower office today from, you know, soppin' in the pants.
Starting point is 00:00:47 I didn't realize I was bookin' Bean Flick City. You really, dude, y'all, I mean, you're literally the ones, like an early relationship that she talked about her crushes on, like, great. As no one told me until I was in the hallway walking and Jacob lit up when he found out that information, he was like, oh, we're gonna talk about it. Yesterday?
Starting point is 00:01:04 Yeah. He was like, and I didn't know, then, we're gonna talk about it. Yesterday? Yeah. He was like, and I didn't know. And then Sean told the story that you talked to him. Yeah. But we didn't get to bring up Yannis, because he was wearing a gold chain that was distracting. How did you have a thing with Yannis ever? She just would have fucked Yannis.
Starting point is 00:01:15 Because she told us too. She was like, he was Greek. And it was like, that was what? What does that mean? What? I like seeing a hairy form going to my pile into my snooter. What am I family happy? Our a family happier. Churches are very similar. Oh, I was gonna say I like a guy that runs a tight diner She's showered after work. She was like I'm on a walk with the puppy. Yeah You with the puppy in the peanut butter
Starting point is 00:01:40 Someone had to finish that fucking finish that job get up up there, get up there. He was giddy. Christine, downright. He was happy. That's right. Well, run off with one of them then. I think he's so great. I didn't mean to. Go be Greek with Yarnis.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Fucking fetishies. I'm gonna call you fetishies. Hey, fetishies. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jay, I love you, but I've always wanted a big, fat Greek American wedding. You always get pissed when I break dishes. Who's why? When I yell, Opa. Opa!
Starting point is 00:02:10 You want to eat it? She asks for Greek food a lot. Damn, dude. She's getting Yannis on the brain. Yeah, because she wants Yannis's lukin'os, whatever that fucking stupid sausage is. Lukin'os. Be stinking. What are they called? I don't know. Luke and Nos, whatever that fucking stupid sausage is. Luke and... Luke and those... Be stankin'! What are they called?
Starting point is 00:02:28 I don't know. Really? You just wanted in you. Call whatever you want, just get it in me. As long as it's hot and I can put it in me. Hell yeah. Yeah, it's Christine's dreamboats. Didn't realize that.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Didn't realize it until the show was happening. Oh, Dan, can I tell you something? She'd been looking your butt hole while you beat off in a bathroom. If she... you happened to work with her at the same time She was falling over that other a dude she liked Nick. Yeah, shout out Nick. Yeah, shout out Nick Shout out Nick you're a real dickhead Maybe rules now No way, yeah, I don't know
Starting point is 00:03:02 You know he had a fucking hit a crazy story. His... Struck by lightning. No. You guys were like, five girls won the suckers dick at the same time. You and sexual. He asked me if I would hold the camera and shut up. I thought, I was going more, he met the devil at the crossroads
Starting point is 00:03:18 and he had to play guitar. You were going with a suck off, then. His mom was like the reason that his older brothers and sisters mom committed suicide. Damn, she was like a mistress. She was so hot. She molested all of them. Damn, no, she was just so hot that the first wife was like, I gotta kill myself. Really? You're so hot. The new one was so hot, the original one killed herself.
Starting point is 00:03:42 I don't know if it was that she was, maybe she was so hot. Let's make it that because it's a lot of shit. I feel like a drink. Well, who doesn't? You got a lot of info on this guy. She's coming to us and- Yeah, I went to his family's house with him. It was such a weird relationship.
Starting point is 00:03:55 And then he would, you would bang him? I banged him like twice. He squished her tummy when they fucked. What? Oh yeah, insane. Why did he like grabbed it like a fucking dance instructor like a yeah Like one of those mean teachers. It's insane. Like how did he grab it? Was he like into it or was he like?
Starting point is 00:04:13 Belly and shake like Jack him off and he'd be like I'll allow it Wait he used to shake your belly He like grab your stomach and go like would he make noises or do you go like? You like grab your stomach and go like would you make noises or do you go like Hard go Got me. Sorry. I gotta make belly monsters Can we do belly monsters and then I'll let you touch my cock Do two belly monsters for me and I'll let you suck my dick a little bit. Let me do a truffle shuffle on you That's so me. Oh, yeah. Oh
Starting point is 00:04:47 God, I remember that guy. He didn't do his side work. Is that his kid? No, that was his nephew. I took that picture Did you really? Why don't you snag that guitar here or control or form me instead of letting that autistic kid play with it? That kid's got a sharp chin What's that kid's name strawberry? I thought he's let me get more? Strawberry? I don't know. I thought he's... No, let me get more jokes out. I thought he's special needs.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Yeah, really? Why is his head shape like beevus? See a force up baby? Yeah, fuck this guy. Now, for seeking congratulations. I let that guy wiggle my belly to fuck him. That's so crazy. We were.
Starting point is 00:05:21 You weren't offended when he wiggled your belly. Of course I was offended, I didn't like it. But would he do it right before the sex or a post-pointer? I wasn't like during, it'd be like a very lovely thing. He said during. No, during he's holding me, I didn't look that fat from that angle. That's from the thing.
Starting point is 00:05:35 I mean, do that is. See? Just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go Dude, you're fucking he goes hey can I tell you something right now? You don't look like a fucking monster You're living your pack more and be less gross. That's crazy. It's like grab me. Got it. There's a lot of work for you You know, but this new clone that I'm wearing I barely smell you Usually I feel like I'm fucking a pack of baloney What's he like almost I can almost feel like a I Think I'm a I can almost feel like a
Starting point is 00:06:09 Sistivitis of a giant it. I don't know. It's almost like you are human. Hey, you know, I think I might be in the hole this time He's oh fuck, you know I can't you might have I journal But to come belly monster Need the dough Need the dough I'm gonna make you some rolls. Kiss you. I'm gonna make you some rolls. Kiss him. Kiss him, I'm gonna make you some rolls. Kiss him, monster. You're gonna give you a raspberry pie? You want a raspberry pie? So he comes under stomach and gives you a raspberry?
Starting point is 00:06:32 Yeah. Oh, make me a sandwich, you stupid idiot. I don't like this guy at all. That was super mean that he did that to you. Yeah, he was. Come on, Christine. He took like, he was a weirdo. He like walked like hunched over.
Starting point is 00:06:44 He was like mean never did a side work I didn't like Table side guac was for shit. I don't know. Yeah, it's called cilantro It's in the recipe for a reason. I don't care if you think it tastes like soap the guy that created the Put it in and put in a tablespoon of it. Yeah We're not looking for notes just mix up the guac hey Nicolas This isn't muddled.
Starting point is 00:07:06 I need to do a top off work. I didn't do ice in the front bar. Yeah, that's him just being mean to you sucks. I was saying, Christine, you were swinging too big all those years. This guy, no sidewalk dude, who makes belly monsters. Oh my God. Y'all honest.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Sean Patton, you were swinging for the fences. You're going for home runs, dude. You have to get over, he got to hit a bun with me. I didn't know I was gonna do that though. I didn't know it was gonna be this is your life with jerkin' off for Christine. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Plenty of bean flickin' that room last night.
Starting point is 00:07:36 Oh, if our fingers could hold the story. It's weird, cause the room was, I would describe as hazy. Yeah. There was a a Like a humidity Musk that I haven't really just like a moisture in the air. I don't know. I want to say like Florida on the morning You know, there was a Florida nude on my shoulder Lizards would have found the room. Come through when we get numb
Starting point is 00:08:01 I mean Cambodia. Yeah, I don't know all I know is I'm too, too, too click Southeast to the shit. It was swampy here and Christine's coming up to put a knife in her mouth. She has shun, I brought you Jambalaya. I know you like it. It's from where you're from. I know.
Starting point is 00:08:17 You would have banged every waiter at the restaurant I worked at. Oh my God. Oh my God. Well, what restaurant was it? She made it. Because it was't lobby stairs. Right? Oh, Christ. Oh, it's like it was so funny. It goes, Oh, Christ, you don't get the RBS on 23rd. Did you? You had Smashburger? Smash. I took care of some of the cooks. I felt like a
Starting point is 00:08:37 troll working there. Well, that was your hot roommate, right? Yeah, he was one of them. He was really they were so good looking. What about the guy you did the guy you beat up the guy you punched was he hot? No, no, no, he was the one. He was not when you were done with the right. He was a bus boy. Yeah, they make the other pretty no more. They make the other goes scrap in the back. The rich people just sit there and sip drinks he goes, I think the little ones going to win. Put your thousand dollars on the man they're calling shit face. We were like pussy, down there.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Thanks, Black Lou. You're the fucking man. Black we made it dunk and run because... Cause I fumbled, I fumbled fingers. Yeah, and the lobby, right? I thought I thought it every bit with you. You were very sweet at first go, I didn't do that, did I? No, me and I'm fucking ass. I thought I was like like I meant to let the door go a little too early or something
Starting point is 00:09:27 And fucking Fuckin' it Stupid Fucking it Fuckin' it This is sometimes when I drink Dunga Donuts and it's like you want to drink it with me Uh, Lou, back did you feel it? It was palpable in here yesterday with Christine and every dreamboat she ever wanted to sleep with in comedy
Starting point is 00:09:44 Oh absolutely. And her fucking two-shot. She wears it. And her 2009 hunks of comedy. What a hunks of underground comedy. Every time I do a house cleaning I find pictures of Yannis and a fireman costume. The boys of all turning into comedies. It's Yannis.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Oh no, Bob. She has Christa Stefano's remote control with his pants picture. It's a picture of y'all And he goes bar four turns into bar school Y'all is in a Yankee Jersey that's no pants. He had to do a lot of war. Oh No, look it's great. It's me Poseidon It's just Y'all is dressed up as different Greek gods. That's great, dude. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer.
Starting point is 00:10:30 And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer.
Starting point is 00:10:38 And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. And then Sean's an erotic Cajun farmer. Look like we're going to have to have sex here in the muck damn black lucid he felt it. Yep, he felt it I want to get back to Jake did it come up. I didn't hear the show. Oh, yeah, we brought it up
Starting point is 00:10:49 I'm hilarious. Yeah, I brought it up and I was like because I defended you and I was like I'm not gonna let this happen Well, Jason's not here watch start winging at them when I was going it just started getting sexual dude It started getting real sexual I don't know if everyone started getting crazy to get the step in Sean I'm gonna start working at each other y'all this is wearing a gold chain and it threw everyone off Oh really I'm sorry to be sure you think it was flexing for Christine He really felt like a nobody's missing. He was peacock and oh hell yeah, he's peacock talking about how dangerous Brooklyn was in the 80s Oh, man, Christine had you resist from jumping on his Luke Luke and he so
Starting point is 00:11:24 Luke can someone look it up Christine? Can you stop just fucking stop it up the chair? He stopped running away with him in your head So you guys are in Fiji right now touching foreheads and kissing in the water He'll be my uncle Jesse and I'll be his aunt back Luke and Nico you would have like a you would have a slob on that Luke and Nico you piece of shit Yeah, dude and her head shoes is running away. She really was there in some white building with a blue roof Oh, I bet I bet sometimes when she pulls out a she pulls out two dildos at night We're going and she goes should we go with long hair Sean or short hair Sean
Starting point is 00:12:05 should you go cabin bar Sean? yeah the county central half hour close down cabin bar close down cabin with new stuff every week Sean or JFL ripping up new faces yeah do you remiss buddy you remissed? I was hating as I miss skanks too I was uh I thought I was gonna be home in time for skanks last night even and then Flight man, what's going on with flight? I think I'm I flake a canceled I almost didn't get I found out That's right. I haven't talked to you guys about this. I found out at three in the morning late Wednesday early Thursday
Starting point is 00:12:43 Like it's Wednesday night into Thursday morning at three in the morning. I found, early Thursday, like Wednesday night into Thursday morning. At three in the morning, I found out they got a flight for me, I had to leave for the airport at four in the morning. So I found out three from not going, not going in the next morning to having to leave in an hour. Catch us up, because we didn't know you were gonna miss Thursday. I wasn't gonna miss the flights, we're just getting canceled.
Starting point is 00:13:02 So I said my flight that night when I was doing SDR show. Yeah. At like 10 o'clock at night when I-'s the last time I saw you. Yeah, when I came out Christine was on the phone with a Amanda one of the tour managers and she was like Yeah, your flights canceled because Carter crews the DJ was also on that flight. So it was like yet canceled So we're like and then it would be like all right We found another flight. No it's gone gone. Like, like, it could have happened because everything's getting canceled. There's no, apparently there's no like workers.
Starting point is 00:13:30 There's no like pilots in flight crew. They're always like waiting for another crew to land or something to go back on. It's crazy. So not people aren't getting into the business anymore. And now they're just tick-talking. Yeah, why, why, why, why, why, why the friendly skies when you can just tick-talk?
Starting point is 00:13:43 Yeah, when you can do a sick dance. But they, yeah, 700 US, it's crazy. Why we have why find the friendly skies when you can just tick talk. Yeah, when you can do a sick dance, but they Yeah, 700 US for it's crazy as Your voice from analysts. Damn that was really good. Oh, what was the Christine? Wasn't it what was the voice person? A GT yeah, that did nothing he did he did Seth Rogen. I saw it someone sent me the clip. It's He's a comic I know, but like he's it by the way is in a thruple. Oh Yeah, it's right. He was so unlikable, but they liked them anyway. They can't throw shade. It shit like that Shoo shoo. They can't do it so they have to just go yeah, I go it's actually what he's do
Starting point is 00:14:21 I don't give a fuck by the way. It's polygamy. Yeah, it's actually what he's do. I don't give a fuck by the way. It's polygamy. Yeah. It's actually illegal. Yeah, the world. That's my wife. But if you call polyamorous, I don't know why that, because it means like multiple loves instead of multiple marriages, I guess. He should have gone dirt bag.
Starting point is 00:14:36 More dirt bag. He goes, she's the shaft girl, the left is the balls. Simon, you know what I'm talking about. You banged your best friends with chicken. Yeah, one cooks, one fucks, one fucks once for fucking once for shucking I mean and then like Sophia Vagara was like do you make the noises you do it better? Your voice or man else when it comes to Sophia Vagara only her you I love your Sophia Vagara Oh, I bet that she probably did love it to she went for a moment you were
Starting point is 00:15:01 Sassurugas yeah, yeah, yeah at the beginning she goes what kind of noises do you a murderer? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, at the beginning she goes, what kind of noises do you make? Oh, ah! And the guy's like, oh, geez. And then you realize he has two wives, and you're like, oh, he is a straight up horn dog. Like, he probably was like, yeah. So, if he would like to die in with me in my brides.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Come with me in my hair, I'm watching me feast with him. Christine, let's get an extra girlfriend. Let's go around polyamorous. Oh, yeah, I bet well I think you pick a couple extra boyfriends for you You want me to show on pat and hold hands behind you while you call the shots? I mean maybe you could have some extra girlfriends Thank you. His name's Justin Ruppell Yeah, I don't know why he's so are you unlikable? I feel like any guy with two chicks is Hey, what's up? I got a ton of money and I fuck all the time.
Starting point is 00:15:47 But also you losers. Anything. But also any guy with two chicks, like is a dill. Do you know what I mean? The guy that's legitimately is like, explaining the world, like we're polyamorous. So you know, that's pretty chill. You guys should all clap for that.
Starting point is 00:15:58 It's bizarre. Go to that part. He's like a real estate agent funny. One of his jokes he makes, he's like, because he costs a million dollars a day and I do. And here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna fuck her while she watches. She's gonna suck my ass while she blows it. Excuse me, sir, what are you doing? I'm just showing you how we arrange ourselves in the evening. So I get her in what's a classic pile drive. We call this the buffet. And then I'm slamming and then I'm jamming. Then I'm slamming and then I'm last night. That one
Starting point is 00:16:31 was riding my chin while the other one was just haking it balls deep in her mouth. And you go, and if you want to know, do they like the voices? I go, why don't you ride my face? Yeah. I'll suck you, Clint. And I looked at at I had to look down at the one who was blowing me and go honey You're being a little about it down there But you're a sex addict sad it. He's like, yeah, he's got to have home. Well, it would go better if you both blew me right now. Here's my Ronald
Starting point is 00:17:11 Reagan. That's him. She was sitting on his face. Here's my here's my George HW Bush. Ready? That's him sucking babs. Yeah, I do a pretty good Trump too How to annoy your poly partners with impressions there we go There we go. This guy's going this guy's going knee shit. Jail was supposed to like This is going knee-smeans. I'm fucking like this one bit. This is like a fucking. This is a subreddit of a subreddit By the way, you know sucks. This guy hears this. He's gonna go at fat shits jealous
Starting point is 00:17:45 Yeah, a little bit of his it. I am and I'm not gonna lie Of course, it's a real good. I'm out there trying to make money for our family christines and here fucking go in a bucox for that We got them guessed it walks and they can fucking go through a roll of decks of every time So fucking digit it yourself. You have a wife and a girlfriend already Yeah, that is true. You've been literally polyamorous for like, I mean, how long have we been together? Nine years? We should be fucking Carla again.
Starting point is 00:18:11 Aw, get crazy, dude, you're gonna fight chaos in. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Christine be the other woman in the house now I'm gonna work on my voices Really good cook I fail in that department right I mean really Okay, I think you just have those are you that's the last reason? Mm-hmm she cooks listen in listen in Oh, do you know uncomfortable be it if Katie's like yeah, it's like a couple of hockey players over just hung out like So you just like no, no, I used to want to fuck you. Oh, no like one of those guys I really wanted to fuck you pretty good. He won the he won the cons might the word them all No, I think he's seen somebody though. Oh, no, he yeah So I think I think he's got somebody else. So it's not even we flamed out I guess not only worry about it. He's seeing somebody else. Why don't I have to worry about it?
Starting point is 00:19:02 If he wasn't seeing somebody else, no, I'm just saying you don no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Nice. Oh nice. I'm going to go for the IC coming back and show me the instructions. Can you teach me a body check people on the street? Can you should we play as AGT first and then Here is yeah, I just want you to see the part where he explains he's in a polyamorous Or maybe this is the Sophia Vagara part which is like you make that noise. It's all it's all the beginning. Yeah. Yeah, it's all in the interview It's all it's all the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. It's all in the interview The intense music very good So what's the name of the chest hair coming out of the shirt? Way from I'm originally from Issaquah, Washington. Tell me about you native land I am a professional stand-up comic. I've been doing it for 15 years and I'm also a stunt voiceover impersonator
Starting point is 00:20:04 What's that? It means that sometimes when a movie star gets done filming an action scene and they don't get the lines right in a movie, they have to come in later and redub it. But to save money, they hire someone like me because Mark Wahlberg costs $100,000 a day and I do not. Bam! What do you do like this noise? I'm like, I'm like, I'm on a teeth.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Yeah, here it is. Oh, they're real nice. No, I say it's just knowing that he's realigned that. Knowing that he reveals himself to be a horn dog, just those eyes bulging, you're like, he's, oh, he's like, yeah. Yeah, keep going. I heard that, you're doing a pretty good impression
Starting point is 00:20:43 of them bitches over there. Yeah, yeah. Which one of you, the blonde, or the brun the brunette? Yeah, oh who oh tongue and tits over here Friends what's going on here? This is a tour is there is an in jacolour coming through? Intern in turn low put your dick on the glass What? Inter? Put your dick on the glass. Show your dick. I am black women.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Love damn. You guys are black women? What are you talking about? They didn't even see me, black women. I'm black women. I got so excited for you. You're a little... Oh, wait.
Starting point is 00:21:15 A salt and pepper gentleman. Yeah. You guys are interns. I'm a faggot. You're buying the company. Hey, you give it one of those 57-year-old interns. Hey, are you guys all second-chance students? Did you guys get released from prison a week ago?
Starting point is 00:21:26 Did some of you drink and drive and kill your friend and have to go to jail and not get him back to light? Look at this one, just taking pictures of people without asking questions. These are just fucking debts. She's a hot chick, I can't tell. I see a few shedrests. Taking a picture of this, she's stupid bitch.
Starting point is 00:21:40 Nah. She had burn face, subreds. Is that vacuum? My vacuum just walk face. Yeah, it's up reds. Is that vacuum? My vacuum just walk by Damn, Luke. See that black woman look at you. It's couldn't believe some of the black person here That was crazy. See that you I get that look a lot and it looks like loose fake because he's in his head It's a little square. Yeah, a little cut open. He's just a cardboard cut out. They do to make black visitors feel more comfortable He looks like fucking John B. Yeah, they take it down and they go, okay, thank God. God, give us a little more of this dildo.
Starting point is 00:22:10 Do not. But what do you do like this noise? Is like, oh, yeah! Or the real dialogue? How do you pull this so hot and so not attractive somehow. What kind of movies do you watch today? The pornography? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:30 The pornography? No, stop pornographies with butt-feastings. Joe, OS, Huzzie, playing in the house. It's like an 80s video store in the back. Oh man, and Terry Crews always it goes crazy. Crazy. They suck it in the bag. Oh man, and Terry Crews always goes crazy, crazy, they fuck it all the time. And then he goes, and he goes,
Starting point is 00:22:48 don't try this at home y'all. Oh, they fucked it. That's just thing. They hot. And then as soon as black people come out and sing emotionally dude, he can't cartwheel fast enough to that golden buzzer dude. He can't wait.
Starting point is 00:22:59 If they're like, we're doing this to keep urban youth safe. He's like, we should up y''all come man. I was urban youth Man grab my dick one top now we're in pink dresses crazy Who are you looking at over there? That's my partners back there my partners He drops partners. Those are my partners. Those are my business partners. Oh, no Talk to me because I had a little dust up a few months back my best friends wife became my partner I impregn pregnant her on his boat
Starting point is 00:23:47 I don't I think you'll notice I have zero lines on my face talk to me. How do you do it? I go back Those are my partners. That's that's slam piece number one That over there is fuck bucket to yeah Ladies ladies That over there is fuck bucket too. Yeah. Ladies, ladies, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, I've ever seen Wow Choking come on there to girl come on No, it also goes right from him being horny to be like Just looking at my partners over there. He really got so hot from Sophia Vergara. He goes girl spank bank that Before daddy comes home tonight. Yeah, do you want to avoid Sophia and her little fiesta totally does yeah, absolutely Who are you looking at over there? It's my partners back there
Starting point is 00:24:57 Wait, he stares them so they would ask about it. Yeah, no My my wife and I have been together for 15 years and We my wife and I have been together for 15 years. And we met and we fell in love with our partner Claire. I bet you did. And we've been living together. Young hot Claire. Yeah, we're a polyamor. He goes, you know, we first started fucking the juice ran out and get through some berries in the blender.
Starting point is 00:25:14 And it's been four years, it's a long stop. Look how stoked his wife is. And look how stoked the new one is. The wife is not a stoked. She points when she says the wife, because she knows the wife is not a stoke because he she points when she says the wife because she knows The wife's not stoked on her being there. So see he was me my wife. We're gonna 15 years the new girl starts pointing at her It's like it's her and her face is very like mm-hmm, but the new ones like this is fun Oh, I thought the wife was the one on the right. Oh Play that back. Oh man. That's great. Oh
Starting point is 00:25:49 Humanity were you looking at over there? That's my partners back there. Not humiliated. My dad was 15 years and we met and fell in love with our partner Claire four years ago and we've been living together ever since she's like did we Did we now we fell over? They're all interesting. That's crazy. I know that we felt like that because I can remember crying myself horse I can leave you in six different voices Oh well this is Ronald Reagan I am not with you anymore. I'll go girl every president I'll go there. You want I'll go for every one.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Do you think I don't got a Grover Cleveland? I got a Grover Cleveland. Please don't, I'll just, can I meet her? Fine, I'll meet her. Let me meet her. I'll do some easy. I think we're gonna say that. She's right in the car.
Starting point is 00:26:56 Hang on, Grace, get in here. Take this pill of ecstasy. I'm gonna come back in and we're gonna touch all of each other. Mom, kids, bed. You're bad. Dad's having a midnight snack. Kids is just a dream. Daddy's dream. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Dude, I love it. I love noticing that the wife is in stoke theater. She was not stoke. I love the wife's just sitting there like, here's from other, we, yeah. And we fell in love with our partner. Oh, did we? She goes, she goes, here's from other f- Wee Yeah, and we fell in love with our partner Glare Oh, did wee!
Starting point is 00:27:28 She goes, oh She's the Italian Wee Oh, did we, I remember when we fell in love when you were on that business trip And then her When you taught at Salt Lake City when you hit her at that bar Oh, shit Gotta keep playing
Starting point is 00:27:43 I'm buzzing right now Yeah, fuck a lot That ball. Oh shit, gotta keep playing it. I'm buzzer right now. Yeah, fuck a lot. Okay, and what's the dream Justin? I didn't even have time for more. She's confused. My wife met me at a personage and was so different. The side girl is the new girl.
Starting point is 00:28:05 She's like, oh, that's so funny. The other one's like, why is he telling everyone? My parents are gonna see you. I said I should have left this fucking jerk off. My mom lives for AGT. What he proposed to me is Kermit DeFrog. It knows I love to goddamn up bits. And here I find myself.
Starting point is 00:28:20 I clapped. I call his dick Gonzo. And he's still. Oh, hey, you're gonna put no reason. Oh hey you know what Kirby really likes is when you lick her pussy. Oh I fuck you. You girls lay back and do your thing. I'm gonna feel that for a little bit. It's not easy being green. It's definitely easy getting a double blow job. Just
Starting point is 00:28:41 recharging ladies. Oh why don't you I don't want to play with each other. And I'll take this pill. I'm gonna go fill the ice trays real quick. Walk, walk, walk, walk. That's what he says when he blows his load. Oh, God, play it. Damn, I hate this guy. I told her what the dream was then,
Starting point is 00:28:59 which is to be a resident comic in Las Vegas. Good for you. All the new one gave heart hands. Dude, the new ones are, new ones are banned. is to be a resident comic in Las Vegas. Good for you. All the new one gave heart hands, dude. The new ones are new and subbimbed. No, that was the new one. She gave her new one. She gave her new one.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Red hits the new one. The red hits the new one. No, the blonde, the wife. She gave her, I think the blonde just got the heart. Run it back and shoot. They made both, but I, no, it was definitely the new one. The hot ones the new one.
Starting point is 00:29:23 Okay, right. Pick it up. This is like a help. Comic in Las Vegas ones the new one. Okay, right. Pick it up. It's like a help. I'm making Las Vegas. Good for you. Yeah. See? No, wasn't what are you crazy?
Starting point is 00:29:31 Are you blind? That was a red hair woman. No, I told her what the dream was. Yes. Which is to be red hair. It's crazy about his wife. If I told Katie that I was 100% not the wife. If I want, if I told Katie that I wanted to be a resident comedian in Las Vegas
Starting point is 00:29:47 And she didn't leave me I wouldn't trust her Now I'm thinking it might be the wife. No, it's not that's a red-haired woman. It's the right dog now It's the new listen to one. She doesn't have a wedding ring on right that's the new one She does ever. No, she does and that's on her little wedding ring. Here's a wedding ring. It's a June bug No, she does and that's on her wedding ring. Here's a wedding ring. She's got June bug. Do you know what I'm telling you? That's side piece energy.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Side pieces through her hands. Talking about his wife. How she, she, I know. I know. Jacob, she loves love. I know this show's got good editors who are causing a sense in the ranks by going and showing the new chick's reaction to that.
Starting point is 00:30:20 That is new chick for sure. It is. Look at the way their hair curls down to the body. I'm gonna have like short blonde hair. like shoulder length. It's the side chick Yeah, you can tell by her though you could tell the wife by her purse to angry lips. Yeah Oh, yeah, she's doing this for a trip to fucking LA I fucked a guy that's anyone to be a resident Vegas comedian New girls all in all in yes for sure, she loves the voices. She loves the three sons loves her life. Yeah, dude. Hey
Starting point is 00:30:48 Live your life Love love I know you do Yeah, definitely Oh, is it tearing up? I know this means a lot to you good luck. Thank you. Oh, it doesn't Thank you. Let me back up and get in the zone. The auto zone. I told you I do a whole bunch of impressions back to that. Can you go back just to the wife and the girlfriend real quick as once you the reaction shot? It's too far back. Way, way, way, way, way. Like right there. Oh, dude. Perfect. I'm telling you, she goes,
Starting point is 00:31:24 I, this is so emotional. And the wife wife's like all right? I got to share this You know I have to share this do your stupid walk walk Questions we can get the fuck out of here. No, I was doing have these on a Seth Rogan impersonation Don't remember signing a release get that camera. I'm I fucking face. She is wearing a pride necklace. That's cool great She is wearing a pride necklace. That's cool. Great. Smunches box. Hey, listen, hang on. That show they canceled a double-dolts and a double-dolts. That lady watched a pregnant 20 year old move in that we're fucking out. She's trying to kill herself a garage.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Creep in the fucking. She's my girl. She's my little girl that I want to bang. I couldn't imagine even getting my weener sucked on by my daughter and kissed on my penis. And I'm sucking up on her boobs. I couldn't do this, my daughter. And I'm just laid back drinking a beer. I just heard straight on.
Starting point is 00:32:15 She just polishing my shit. That guy was the biggest piece of shit. Yeah, he was the worst. God. She's pumped. Well, I told you I do a whole bunch of impressions. I do over 200 impressions, but I got to keep them all in there. I can teach you how to do any of the voices I do professionally. I can teach how to
Starting point is 00:32:33 do Mark Wahlberg. Here's how you do it. It's like headline. Park your car in the Harvard yard. You elongate the vowels. Then spin yourself around in a circle to your about ready to vomit and Imagine Sophia Vagara asked you where to park your car Should I wake her up? Susie, Susie, do you have to be with Parkman car? Did you park your car and have a gun? Did you park your car? Travis Piff will love it. Same. That's how you do it. Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:33:06 Exactly, that's the personality that comes with this talent. Look at the wife, she's like, oh my god, they're fucking enjoying it. I thought he was gonna bomb. She was so ready for me to eat shit. She goes, oh my god, they're fucking liking it. That's what my favorite drug. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, that works.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Oh yeah, there it is. Oh my god. It's that smug. That smug. So smug. Smug confidence. Oh yeah, there it is. It's that smug. That's smug. Smug. Smug confidence. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Dude, dude, dude. Yeah, why? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. There it is. Oh. I can do a week of shows about that fucking Dildo Why show to someone when you were gone we
Starting point is 00:33:53 I can't ever not I'd watch it again right now it makes me so happy When Katie was in and we're like oh, yeah, you don't Just became the episode because we're like oh shit. Oh, let's go down. Let's go. We're on a different Like cool classically trained but they both have rings Oh, so I wonder if she's like married in So it's polygamy. Yeah, I'm sure they did some sort of fucking backyard ceremony to commemorate their love. It's illegal. What they're doing, true.
Starting point is 00:34:31 The only thing that's illegal is to actually legally be married to more than one person. That's more tax breaks than anything else. I just don't, I think it's so bad. By the way, I don't give a shit. I genuinely don't, but I think it's bizarre that like the whole place is like this is fucking off when it's like, uh, it's bizarre that like the whole place is like this is fucking off when it's like It's cold-ish Everything is a start of a cult like I feel like Charles Manson started with one girl than two girls and three Walk through a three Christine would have been right there on the spawn ranch
Starting point is 00:34:55 Wait and her turn the suck is left-knot. Can me be fucking shoulder check and squeaky. Oh Christine be cutting babies out of fucking celebrities for you know, I can't believe Christine smoked pot last night and then said to me you know I think if I ever got it up to stab somebody to death like I would go like way overboard with the stabs. We were watching a scene in the boys. We're a girl stabs a guy to death and she just keeps going past the point and I just said I think that that would be me like. You just watched it and you blow,
Starting point is 00:35:25 we'd spoken with samzies. Total samzies. Weird she goes, that's how I would probably do it. I just got keep going. I would do the knife under the jaw and then have the conversation with him. Or I'd go, you put yourself in the situation. I'm going to go, and I'm holding it in.
Starting point is 00:35:41 And I go, no, no, no, no, no, no. Shh, shh, shh, shh. You put yourself in this position. Yo, what? What, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, he's like he's here. I'm fine with voices when you start doing the thing of like I can teach you Go fuck yourself When I was a little I hate all of it. Yeah, when I was a little kid I used to know the radio That's just classic voice work right there Now that's a classic in Jay. I'm gonna put my foot down on that one and then I've seen you know Let me start my motorcycle
Starting point is 00:36:29 Up and again I It's an old pump Golden buzzer She golden buzzer Oh, how are you doing that? How are you even on a bike? Yo, is that is that is mouth? Dude the new one is so jacked about everything and the I'm telling the old one the old wife is like She was hoping this would go crush his dream and they can go back to just being a two of them together family and the fact I do you think she was hoping for a big enough L that she could
Starting point is 00:37:05 kick all red out yes absolutely and you can see by the look at her face she's done how good it's going because at first it was going bad when he was setting it up they were staring at him because this is a bit just do it and she goes uh Harvard Yard about guard and then you just got to add and then actually you spin around till you three like you're gonna throw up and they just stared at them That's usually he's he's expecting his giggles there and then he started doing that
Starting point is 00:37:30 And he went nuts and the new girl that face I knew it and the wife is clapping she looked over went Oh fucking no way. Oh my god. No, we have to still share a fucking hotel room My hair products are outside by the coffee maker. Ha ha ha ha! I don't get any counters, man. He's not enjoying how good it's going, but the new one? Watch it. Good, Christine.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Oh, but first you have to do Jim Carey's voice. In order to do Jim Carey, just imagine yourself as a giant Canadian bird. Okay? Hi there, judges! In order to do Jim Carrey, just imagine yourself as a giant Canadian bird, okay? Hi there, judges! Uh, I have some voices for you. Fuck you, Halle. Fuck you, Halle. I'm going down to a sexy whisper, and you have Ryan Reynolds.
Starting point is 00:38:22 Hi there. I am To go back the new ones so into it. She's doing like faces out of wall. He's doing it So she stage bomb them She stage robbing them nuts and the fucking old ones like god damn it I gotta sit through one more okay Ryan Reynolds. Oh my God. All the impressions are like mediocre, that's it.
Starting point is 00:38:49 But you have to think, there's not that, uh, listen, even if they're like decent, the problem is he's doing the impressions of the most impressionable thing of them, he's doing like, he's not doing a Jim Carrier, he's being as an Ace Ventura. Yeah. He's just saying all right. Or, yeah, he's doing all righty then.
Starting point is 00:39:06 And so it's not a gym. Do you get him saying? It's like everything's like the extreme. Like he's not doing a good mark wall, but he's doing like, who is he? He's like, say hello to your mother for me. Yeah, he's doing like the over hyped version of it.
Starting point is 00:39:16 So exactly like his Ryan Reynolds is like, Ryan Reynolds being snarky only. There's people who sound like Ryan, do you know what I mean? I can do maybe like I got six thousand voices And I gotta keep them all there. I do maybe five or six voices or whatever, but on Instagram now There's people that are so fucking good at impressions that you see them You're like you like see these rando dudes. It'll be in like my searches or whatever They know the algorithm knows to show me fucking people
Starting point is 00:39:42 Because I'll watch all of them, but like dude, even Frank Calliando, I follow him on Instagram, he'll do like Morgan Freeman. Perfect. I don't think he is an impressionist because not it's specific like you are able to, you're able to do his voice stuff in like tone. Yeah, I can do it kind of. And accents and shit like that.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Yeah, it's fucking great. But I mean like doing impressions. You do get impression. I'm sorry. I can, like the only impression. You do the impression. I'm sorry. I have like, it was a threat and a threat. I can do like, Joe D'Rosa said that very early on and you know what dude, he goes fuck soda. He's got three voices and he wasn't wrong.
Starting point is 00:40:15 And Bobby and him got into a fight about it and Joe was right all these years later. I was like, that's son of a bitch. That bastard actually was right. You do more than that. But I'm saying I can do an accurate macho man and accurate Ronny Dangerfield and Winnie the Pooh. And then it's your mouth.
Starting point is 00:40:29 Winnie the Pooh is pretzel. And that's all great. Now there's more than that even. But I'm saying, I'm just saying you can do impressions. I don't expect you a lot. Thanks, too. But you know what I'm saying? You don't impress me but I don't look at you as an impressionist.
Starting point is 00:40:40 I don't think you're a, but you say that I'm a mere. Yeah, I'm saying. But the guys that I do it for my friends and if they work, they don't think you're a, but that guy's, I'm a mere, I'm saying. But the guys that I do it for my friends and if they work, it works exactly. If this kind of guy though, if you're gonna say you do 200 voices,
Starting point is 00:40:52 you gotta be fucking great. Cause now with social media, you can just see these people that, there's a guy that does Matthew McConaughey on Instagram, find his name or whatever. It's exactly, it sounds exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Does he have a new girlfriend and a disgruntless wife? No. All right, I can't be good at this. You know what? Let me get back to the master. Christine, are you ready? I have some voices for you. Take that Canadian bird down to watch.
Starting point is 00:41:18 Now watch. Ready for the girlfriend. And you have Ryan Reynolds. Why is it a stretcher? I am. ready for the girlfriend. And you have Ryan Reynolds. Why is it a show? Hi there. I have some voices for you, Jess. I hope you enjoyed it. That was a good Ryan Reynolds.
Starting point is 00:41:35 But it wasn't even a joke. It was just like, No, it's just the voice. It was just the impression. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I'm gonna lift the box into this car now. All right, Ryan Reynolds, I'm gonna be right here. Ryan Reynolds. Just All right, run, run, run, run, run.
Starting point is 00:41:45 Just the simplest voices. This is macho, man. Go ahead. Yeah, that's it. This is my Jack Nicholson. Do you have any water? Hmm. Nope, this is my Greg Kanier.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Can he make a face? This is my Greg Kanier. On your left. All right. This is my Jeff Bridges. I don't know, man. All right. I move forward.
Starting point is 00:42:08 I do a pretty good Obama. I'm gonna crack my neck like you do. Yeah, he does. No, no, no, no. I got one for you. Carter 76. You, sir? Okay. All right. He goes is a dead on George Washington oppression
Starting point is 00:42:30 Anyway, so those are my two best anyway, uh, the George Washington sneezing all right Well, man, cuz we got his TikTok video that we got so over. There's so I know that might be the second out It's gonna have you back. We missed you. Christine, it go, hit play. Okay, here's how to do Seth Rogan's voice. Yeah, take Santa Claus's laugh. Oh, oh, oh. Now imagine Santa Claus eats a different kind of cookie. Ha is a crazy job.
Starting point is 00:43:09 I just slide out chimneys and I deliver packs as the kids and eat their cookies. Now you can do that. Fuck all you. If you do Harrison Ford's voice, stick a ride on my plane. It's not great and make that guy an Irish ship captain. You've got Liam Neeson. I Don't know where we are I think you have early on Neeson dude. I don't know where it all I just hope I don't get taken that's my time. Thank you. Oh
Starting point is 00:43:44 Fuck it shit, you know where a triumph That's my time. Thank you. Fucking. Fucking shit. You know where a triumph is? Shit. Does he win, dude? There is. She's going nuts. Whoa! The other one's like, we're gonna be able to move. Oh, my God, I can't leave him. I can't get away from this.
Starting point is 00:43:59 You know what? She's trying to bright side now. Dude, hold on, go back. Oh, my God. It's so funny that it's emotional after he's just doing what he's doing. trying to bright side now she goes. Dude, wait, dude, hold on, go back because, oh my god. I have false. Yeah, dude. It's also so funny that it's emotional after he's just doing a shitty impression of him going, I don't know where we are.
Starting point is 00:44:13 I don't know where we're going. I just hope I don't get taken. Thank you so much, I know. They put the cape on and my James Brown. Right off of your thing with it. He just does the thing. Because I'm in a movie. Call her taken. Here's my DJ little impression
Starting point is 00:44:31 I'm gonna do my Janus Poffice Christine it's an impression get your mouth off Stop trying to kiss me. So if you're a kiss me you fool. Christine's just an impression stop it you fool Kiss me. So if you're a kiss me you fool. Kristi, just an impression. Stop it you fool. You try kiss me. Try kiss me so much. Well, the new one can't believe she was,
Starting point is 00:44:49 I've been watching this guy perform for the past three months and I'm still reaping all the same benefits. This is this dummy. Because I work and I'm reaping all the benefits. The other one's like, he can't wait to fuck me more tonight. Because I worked at Target. I worked the night shifts while he was out doing corporates. Yeah he made no money and it was doing impressions at my work parties annoying the shit of everybody. They all said leave him. Does he because he
Starting point is 00:45:17 cries right here right? He's like you guys fucking not he doesn't impression of crying there. I want to cry. You just take a little salt, put your hands. Drop it down. Can you do it in the bird? Okay. What do you think? We have a lot of impressionists on the show. And that wasn't that great. Where I lack, the two places I lack with impressionists is number one, not knowing who they're doing. And number two, not having material. And I think that you checked both those boxes. I thought it was really unique in showing us
Starting point is 00:45:47 how you arrived at that. That was really funny and really interesting. And I haven't seen that done before. We love you. Thank you. Thank you. I'll say. I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:45:57 I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Judge and what's going on goes goes you got three yeses ago
Starting point is 00:46:08 Show me like slow-mo like oh You saw my belt to get four star. I love for yeses. She's like I love the way you describe my pussy to me The way you say Mark swall bugs and then do it and then with the sex rocket Like he was here. I know who Liam needs senses But if they did you just my material specifically like you talked about your dad being a drunk loser and dying when you were a kid No one's that bad and I'm holding the microphone going. Yeah, I Did thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:46:46 You guys, and we need that on this show and you go. You noticed that flying is difficult with babies. You got your second yes, you go. You got your second yes, you go. You got your second yes, you go. Katie's just looking at her phone and then you go. Hey, how are we? You know what?
Starting point is 00:47:02 A lot of guys talk about their drunk fathers. But you do it in a way that's just I don't know it captures this different You found a way to crowbar macho man in there, and I gotta tell you From one guy to another one funny man to another you've got the goods. You've got three yeses now. Thank you Oh, I want to thank all my polygamous partners and then Dan's got to be you doing a jumps a jumping spin in the air to firework That's for you for you dad All right, let's when we return let's watch people juggling fire. Yeah, I kid that look fucking flips on his head moving on Do you want to watch the judging? I do want to move the technique. Oh break my heart with some more of the judging
Starting point is 00:47:44 Yeah, cuz then we're gonna take a break and then I'll come back with his jokes for polyam polyamorous people who you fuck Heckle me with this book. Why do my special in Vegas? This guy should heckle me with a voices from the back Who's who's there? Is that it? Is that kind of sound like Mark Walbert? Yeah? Heckle me with his book. Why do you my special in Vegas? The guy should heckle me with a voices from the back. Who's there? Is that it? Does that kind of sound like Mark Wahlberg? Yeah, what do you do to come here? Special?
Starting point is 00:48:10 Because I don't know, was I invited? Is that almost a Harrison Ford? Yeah, sure is. That's so much. Damn, it's a Harrison Ford. I'm not gonna lie, dude. You walked in and fucking Air Force one, man. And why can't I have another girlfriend?
Starting point is 00:48:22 Christine, looking at you. If I get bangin' a Harrison Ford, that good, why am I fuckin' bangin' one chicken my house every night? Oh! Dude, him being overly emotional is the best. I didn't know it did this. Christine, if we had another girlfriend,
Starting point is 00:48:37 you wouldn't have to hit play. But Daniel, you could be a book in the show. You would be on the show. New one would be on the YouTube. New one's on the tube. She's younger, she knows how to get around YouTube better. She probably navigates fast. She knows those shortcuts.
Starting point is 00:48:51 It was entertaining, it was not just doing voices. It was you created your own little story. No story. And I really enjoyed it. I think you have a great future. Thank you. A sucking wet-future, so I mean. I do with everything everyone said. And think your story Justin is kind of like
Starting point is 00:49:08 sort of what this show is all about, you know. Oh, yeah, Marie. Somebody who is unbelievably talented for whatever reason hasn't had the break but then has an opportunity like this, you know, to reach a wider audience. We're gonna vote. How are we? yes or no? Yes!
Starting point is 00:49:26 Okay. Yes. I think so. No. You've got six yeses, congratulations. You mentioned it again. You're sexually five. Simon's all about it.
Starting point is 00:49:42 Because it's five, the ones personality. You're my hero. Simon's all about it because it's five the ones piss at me. You're my hero Honestly, do you have your own tank of come in your back? I've never said this to another man before but I think I love you I idolize you. What is that? What is oh? Dude yeah rewind that oh my god Dude what did how he say with dumb shit that how he say I really lost all respect for that man And I loved Bobby's world. I fucking love it He never like how he might does comedy. No, I like Bobby's world He's a blow glove up on his face. Yeah
Starting point is 00:50:14 That shit's kind of though and he would go like that when he talked he would like twist his hand out member He had a character you do magic hand. He did a care but now he doesn't do the character. I don't think Does he have you so funny watching old bald Harry and I'm going to be like, I'm like, this spastic fucking coke energy? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He's inspiring me with that crush. I love it! I love it! I love it!
Starting point is 00:50:46 I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it!
Starting point is 00:50:54 I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it!
Starting point is 00:51:02 I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! It's good. It's good. I got a regular girl in a big girl, and that's cool. No, I think I'm a pretty cool guy for dating you But then I get to bang this one. I'm like a hero and then you toss me in the thing with that fucking tattoo shop slut I'll boss the butt dude. Let's think our first break. Then we gotta come back and watch this polyamory joke. Jesus Christ Yeah, what we find thank you campers for sending that in Camry jokes. Jesus Christ. Yeah, what we find. Thank you campers for sending that in. Oh, I watched that live buddy Whoever treated at me you fucking rule
Starting point is 00:51:32 Oh, there's also Christine pulled that from the campers of Facebook page was a fair a break I was just taking a break. Oh, yeah, you guys took a picture of that Get a break from her kid. Yeah, she's taking a break from her for you. Yeah, she goes You know, I'm gonna focus oh so we on shit videos for a while and then I'm gonna swing farmer kid. Yeah, she's taking a break from her four-year-old. Yeah, she goes, you know what, I'm gonna focus solely on shit videos for a while, and then I'm gonna swing back around to kid. Oh, all the sweets? That's good for me. Yeah, she was really cutting into my shitting on camera time.
Starting point is 00:51:54 I can only have fibers and proteins. Yeah, now I gotta teach basic math. Ah, I'm out. I'm out. I'm out, someone else take care for a little bit. We'll be right back everybody. So good to be back with my little family. Yeah, dude, we missed you.
Starting point is 00:52:06 I missed you. It's the bonfire. Oh, no. Oh, no. That's... You've been listening to SiriusXM's bonfire! New episodes, every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Every Tuesday through Friday mornings and full shows, always on SiriusXM.

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