The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Hey Idiot (feat. Justin Silver)

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

Jay shows off his karate moves, Jacob can't stand Bobby's odor, and Justin's biggest hater is hunting Big Foot! ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Don't worry everybody I only jump in when the songs about to take a turn for the shit Which this one does it's a collection of many songs that I Love so much and hate the last from the bridge on they just take a dump What's wrong with it? Because songs don't need a bridge and they don't need it doesn't need a bridge Just give me more give me another verse man. The bridges tent. There's very few bridges that rule You know what does need a bridge what a river? Okay
Starting point is 00:00:37 Bobby I gotta tell you what I thought about all last night are my cock imp your cock your fat thick cock No, me and you Improvising the freestyle song is today was making me laugh so hard Robert Kelly, yes, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you. No, it's fine. I want to use our guest I'm sorry cuz I'm sorry I to interrupt you. No, it's fine. I'm a little- I wanted to use our guest, obviously, because- I'm sorry, I interrupted you again. Go ahead. It's fine.
Starting point is 00:01:07 I just- oh, sorry. I keep doing it. I'm going to get the fucking hang of this. He's going to be in Ashburn, Virginia, April 19 and 20, everybody. It is the Beastmaster, the hilarious- what's that? What's that coming over the mountain?
Starting point is 00:01:24 All the animals. It's that? What's that coming over the mountain? All the animals. It's Justin Silver! What's up everybody? Can I say? About songs? Is this about songs that have shit endings? The bridge. I hate the rap bridge of every pop song ever. Uh, yeah. Well that's not a bridge. That's like a feature thing that's crowbarred. I'm not a big fan of the
Starting point is 00:01:48 The rap with the R&B very few. I know the ones I love girlfriend by in sync and Nelly all day long dude all Day long Justin Timberlake. That's when he figured it out dude. He is hip-hop He is now. He's old now. He's an old man. It does like I know isn't it funny watching all happens to Paula Abdul on with the rabbit Rapping Oh opposites attract only one I like that's not a bridge. That's a rap sing for sure now bridges like Suddenly by fucking Billy Ocean fantastic song unnecessary bridge give me another verse I don't need the It goes down Just take you down a little bit, but's not what it's to bring you up a guitar solo Which I love love guitar solo the guitar. I'm okay with a guitar solo
Starting point is 00:02:31 I love it an 80s ballad guitar solo is phenomenal I miss it but a bridge where the song takes a bit of a different turn for about 15 seconds Yeah, blow me but that guitar solo when the guitar starts singing the lyrics We're singing guitar You have a voice like you were made to do this. Yes, I do. Absolutely. You have a killer. I'm a little frustrated. Why oh I understand. You know what? You don't have to tell me but school the people at home and you have every right to be and let me tell you something I've learned this and Justin you're gonna find right to be. And let me tell you something.
Starting point is 00:03:05 I've learned this, and Justin, you're gonna find this to be uncomfortable in the room, because the person who's been coming on this show for as long as it's been happening, nine and a half years, nine years. Wow. As long as this show has been happening, you've been coming on.
Starting point is 00:03:17 And I will tell you something. The energy in here have shifted since we lost Dan Soder. And this show has now become me and Robert Kelly versus The Room. Versus The Room. Everybody in here is against us. They're working against us. And they don't believe in the show anymore.
Starting point is 00:03:32 And they've turned on us. They won't take part. They won't help. But me and Jay thought this was a theory we had. But we're like, no, of course not. And then one day it was all revealed. When the prodigal son came back. Well, give the lead up, Bobby. Oh, Jesus walked on water and came back?
Starting point is 00:03:46 Yeah, Christ came in. Okay. But no, to say as a result, if they had to say, if Jacob and I believe DJ Lou had to make one complaint about Bobby, which funny enough, they make this complaint about Bobby, because Bobby will fart from time to time. I hate it myself.
Starting point is 00:04:03 I hate it. Can I stop for one second? Sure How long has it been? Did you crack this since I cracked ass how long two minutes months? No No, no months. You're before. Oh I'm gonna say this months. I changed my diet for this show. I Changed he now he now intermittently fast to not have his belly have things in it at this time of day.
Starting point is 00:04:27 I intermittent. What does that mean then? That means I change. I appreciate it. Okay, great. But that doesn't change what you just did. It doesn't change your reaction to when certain people do it. Well let me say this Bobby, because this is something I never thought of before.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Your faults have, your faults have become a point of contention. Dan Soder in this room farted almost daily aggressively I never liked it loud but it never became this you know what yeah thing I was I was a new and unsure of myself at the time when the bond I didn't know how to I could I didn't have the the the strength to say can you please not do that for eight and a half years eight and a half years now he's barn boss so right when he left you got strength all of a sudden I found strength yes yes by the way you keep directing it only at me like you make the big you make the big dramatics about it.
Starting point is 00:05:26 He waved the paper before I even waved my paper. No, listen, Lou loves musical theater and he'll jump right in on this fucking play, you guys do. Never directed at Lou, it's always me and Lou hates it. You bad mousey the second you leave also. You bat, when I leave? As far as that he hates the smell. No I don't, I just put on my mask
Starting point is 00:05:43 and I continue about my day. No, he just said when I leave? As far as that he hates the smell. No I don't, I just put on my mask and I continue about my day. No he just said when I leave the room. It'll say Bobby, it's stunk in here Bobby. No. Bobby, but you have, I'm not saying like it's a bad thing. We agree. I'll agree with you, but I won't bad mouth anyone. I'm not saying bad mouth like you're angry.
Starting point is 00:05:59 You said bad mouth. Bad choice of words, like Bobby stunk up the room or something. Mmm. Oh, there's another. First of all, I stunk up the room or something There's another First of all, I don't I don't like the way he throws Lou under the bus like that I I mean he brought I'm saying but I don't like that. I'm always singled out, but I'm trying to tell you It's not always me. Okay, that's fine But you don't need I didn't know what I don't know don't hurt me give her hear that but I have told you this
Starting point is 00:06:22 Probably every time we walk away. We say what a piece of shit you are. That's what you just did. That's what you just did to you. What I don't know, don't hurt me. Here's another thing. You're loved. In the room, you're always loved. I love you too, but here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:06:33 I changed my diet for the show. Not today. One second. One second. Okay? I had a run. It was Easter weekend. I was away, and I wound up eating some foods
Starting point is 00:06:45 that I didn't really want to eat. Or should, should, I did have ham. You have to have a ham. I did have ham. It's Easter. I had prime rib, I had ham. We went to a buffet Easter Sunday. Okay, that's.
Starting point is 00:06:54 To celebrate the resurrection. Buffet has a little bit of play, but all right. To celebrate the resurrection. Of JC. You let one go in here. Well, no, here's the thing. Is that. I don't have a problem
Starting point is 00:07:05 with the reaction, I do have a problem with your reaction. Black Lou waves it, moves on. DJ Lou puts the masks on, it's over. He waved. I shake my head. I shake my head like this, let's go. You have a look like you smell dog shit, but you don't know where it is.
Starting point is 00:07:19 And it doesn't leave your face for nine minutes. It's a how could you do this face? It really was. His face was stunned when you did it. You couldn't believe it. You couldn't believe it happened. And I will tell you, Justin, Justin, what you need to hear is, because what we haven't gotten to... We haven't gotten to this. I always feel betrayed.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Is that Dan came in here as a guest a few weeks back. Yeah. I didn't like it. And I mean, almost mean almost and I tell you this almost turned ass to Jacob and loud farted Jacob said nothing. He sat there and breathed in the air. He smiled a little bit goes. Oh man. That's crazy Come on dance farts are like jacar. No RT. Oh, yeah, I didn't like it either But what can I say? Well your face I'm conditioned to just take it from Dan Wow Wow I found my strength you understand we're saying now Is that the dynamic of the room has changed it is serious XM?
Starting point is 00:08:19 V Bobby J. Yeah, we are a team Well, these are company people. They're so company people. We made them, we said, hey, you're company people now. You have to wear neckties. Whatever shirt you wear, you have to wear neckties. And they didn't listen to us because they don't work for us. They work for SiriusXM. And they are sent here
Starting point is 00:08:41 to make me and Bobby probably want to leave and go off somewhere else so they can save the money Mm-hmm, and they've told these guys to come in here and make us as uncomfortable as possible Yeah, his I yeah his crew marching orders where when he does anything you show disapproval Yeah, yeah, whatever Bobby does. I want you just turn a nose up to it No, it's my natural reaction not when Dan was here not Dan you love Dan's farts I don't hate Bobbybies and that says something Let me ask you question day one real question if damn right Dan was here. I was here. We're one of us is gonna fart which one
Starting point is 00:09:15 I don't like you. We have to pick one. I already know which one which one because I'll pick Dan's because Which one? I'll pick Dan's because this don't smell. Oh my god. It makes me happy. Wow. It's when you love somebody, like I love my dog's farts because it's his, you feel that way I feel.
Starting point is 00:09:31 No, because Bobby's have a stink more. It's true. Yeah, exactly. Mine are worse. You don't like mine. You love Dan's. No, I don't. I don't like either one.
Starting point is 00:09:41 They're both farts. No, but you, all right right I'm looking at you whose smell worse in the room I've never caught a whiff of Bobby's ever that's not true it is true but Barry Manilow you said oh I just on camera we have you saying oh I just caught Barry Manilow did it hit me that would be the only one but you farted several times in here that's the only one I guess I've ever done that's when I didn't get it today I didn didn't get the fart today. Hit me at all Christine Who's his worst? I've never gotten either room you're
Starting point is 00:10:09 I'm over here. There's no way you Jacob she's Jacob Overruled wait sustained. I mean you can't harass neither. You can't harass. I know she's lying. She said it I've seen her react. Yeah, like I was madding so bad you asked her the question. She answered it with a lie. No Not to her I've seen her react to your farts You know she could have been reacting to the ghost that she carries by the way another one though And I will say she's no I'm telling you why it's wrong because I'm telling you Dan Soder also with Christine Dan could she would wrap her lips around his asshole while he cracked ass in her face
Starting point is 00:10:56 She doesn't care she loves Dan the same way you do yeah That's why you guys are all going tomorrow to have lunch without me and Bobby are you doing? Is it D-Day tomorrow? I wasn't invited. I didn't even know. I didn't think you'd come, because you don't, you come at 4.30. Christine has now joined the crew.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Christine also comes at 4.30. Would you like to come at 3.30 tomorrow? You can't make this invite, this is a Dan thing. It's an open invite always. I may ask you a question. How are we supposed to go if we didn't know? And yes, that rhymed. That was ask you a question. How are we supposed to go if we didn't know? And yes, that rhymed. That was great.
Starting point is 00:11:27 You didn't know. Thank you. You're welcome. How are we supposed to go if we didn't know? It was almost Dan like, everyone. What are you having, Dan's fart in a bowl? It's vegan. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha girl wasn't I only found out cuz Christine's going I didn't know Christine's now joined the pack Coats Bobby you could have just asked your radio partner Dan. He would have told you they don't do radio together
Starting point is 00:11:57 They have a show together Bobby's the couch on Soder. Oh wait, you mean regs, the regs. That hurt, I don't know why that hurt. He called me fat. Oh no, I wasn't thinking of him as fat. I was just thinking of a couch. Our couch is big. I was picturing more, remember when the Mexican guy
Starting point is 00:12:17 was Sasha Barrett, was that Borat, when he just sat on the Mexican furniture in front of Paula Abel, weirdly enough. Yeah, yeah, those guys weren't necessarily fat at all. That's worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was saying more like that. I was saying you were a human furniture for Dan.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Well, you might as well be, because no one in this place respects you like they've respected that man. And by the way, It's not true. I was less respected than Dan from the second we walked in. They wanted to call the show the Dan Zoder Show. I swear to God that's true.
Starting point is 00:12:44 Yeah, that is true. If we had to go, hey, I'm Big Jay and I'm Robert Kelly and welcome to The Dan Soder Show. I swear to God that's true. That is true. If we had to go, hey, I'm Big Jay and I'm Robert Kelly and welcome to The Dan Soder Show. We gave them a demo tape of me and Dan Soder and then they called a meeting with Soder and immediately offered him a show where he would introduce comedy bits. And then he was like, well, what about Jay? And they were like, yeah. They were like, later on, we'll do him
Starting point is 00:13:05 and we'll give him a show where he introduces Comedy Bits and then you guys will do little guest stars on each other's shows and blah, blah, and blah. And we were like, this doesn't make any kind of sense. Then they go, all right, well, let's do at least a demo, six episode demo so we can get you guys on the air and see how this goes. Called The Dan Soder Show, contractually.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Couldn't have my name in it, The Soder Show. Featuring Big J.O. Featuring Big J.O. Is that weird that that's what he's doing now? Yeah. It came full circle. The Soder Shop. But yeah, and then they were like,
Starting point is 00:13:37 okay, bring your fat friend. Then we made, someone's gotta die. Then we made Radio History. And then Dan quit and you did the same thing. Bring your fat friend. The one that farts. Oh, you have a fatty shit. Nobody's wanted me here since day one.
Starting point is 00:13:54 And I feel like they want you less. I do. And we're made to feel that way constantly. That hurts. You know where I first heard Big Jay Ogerson? Where? Before there was the bonfire. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:06 The foxhole. Yeah. He played his comedy on the foxhole and that's how, what I, how, that's why I was so excited when I found out. It's part of my urban outreach. Yeah. That's how I found out,
Starting point is 00:14:19 and that's why I was so excited when I knew he was gonna be on a show with me. I was gonna be attached to the show. In fact. That does nothing for me. I feel bad. It does nothing for was gonna be on a show with me. I was gonna be attached to the show. In fact... That does nothing for me. It does nothing for you. And I'll tell you what...
Starting point is 00:14:28 I recorded... That does literally... When you said, you know how I found it... The first time I met Robert Kelly. Okay, this is where you wanna go. In Studio One. And I recorded a special for you. You did a takeover for Comedy Central.
Starting point is 00:14:41 It was me and you in the room together. What were you wearing? And then I thought Bobby was the coolest for your last album. Thank you, until now. If you have to say something nice, I guess. I don't even know if Bobby, Bobby doesn't remember me.
Starting point is 00:14:57 I do remember you. You remember that night we had? You were that guy who fell in a Dan's underwear. That night we had. Well it was at night, I don't know what... I do remember that. You guys had a magical night that one time. Now, when you found out that I was taking over
Starting point is 00:15:12 and I was coming in... I was thrilled. But I didn't know that this was a part that this was coming with you. You didn't know gas comes with a human being? Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't know a human being was gonna have gas once in a while, but nobody else does this but you There's other people in the room. I promise you in the duration of the duration of this show
Starting point is 00:15:34 Everybody in this room Christine included has cracked ass in here for sure at least once Christine I've never I don't think I've ever for it. Never Justin you're on the show every day. I'm talking every day absolutely No, I can no you want to know the difference Dan to glee and farting on people and did it on purpose Bobby is by accident. Oh, you're saying dance funnier than Bobby I'm just saying Bobby can't help it Bobby can't help so you prefer Bobby and just think he was are you coming back over to Team Bobby and Jay? Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:16:06 Are you saying dance farts for worse because he was aggressive with them and downright mean and some would say bullying you guys Probably should have went to HR But you know you did just sat there and sucked him up with a goddamn straw. I did you're right We sucked it up remember he give you pink eye that one time when he raw dog did Remember he fucking spread whole and fucking blasted shit freckles all over your eye? I tell you what Dan never did he never changed his diet to fix it. For you. No. Dan hasn't changed his diet since he was seven. In fact, he would drink bubbly sodas so he can just get some funnier ones right on your lap Maybe that's what I should do. Maybe I should just go hey guys
Starting point is 00:16:42 Raaah And let it loose. Where you guys gonna eat tomorrow? I hope it's not gassy foods. Start that tomorrow maybe. Let's move on. Cracking the ass? Let's move on. Oh, now you're running the show.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Let's turn the new page. Wow. I'm saying let's turn the new page, is what I mean. He's like, guys, don't harsh, don't harsh my mellow. It's the dawn of fucking D-Day Wednesdays, lunch with Dan, where we have the best time ever.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Where's he taking you, somewhere super super nice the same place you always go It's our place. What's the place? I'm gonna light this place on fire. What's the place? I? Want to give the place? I hope there's a pro Hamas March right in front of it tomorrow you get caught up in it Yeah, probably I hope you guys get stuck and everyone sees that you're super pro Palestine I hope your parents see you on the news cheering for Palestine as you're caught up in the in the hype Wow Justin you came on it. I didn't know was gonna be like that Christine super excited for tomorrow. I don't know where it is
Starting point is 00:17:41 Well, we text right it an hour before I don't know where it is. Well, we text right at an hour before and give location. Can you can you text to Christine? Now, I wanted to bring up the menu. I want to see what kind of lunch he takes you all to. She's excited. Well, I know because Dan Christine's always excited when she never has to pay for anything.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Now she's going to Dan the pay. Well, he's not 100% it's kid food. We haven't had no you'll like it. 100% it's kid food. We haven't had it. No, you'll like it. I wanted you to go there, Bob. Burgers, wings, appetizers. Every month you've been here, this has happened. And me and you haven't gotten these guys for a dinner.
Starting point is 00:18:15 One time everyone as soon as it shows up, they were out the door. You make it like, I've never had once, I've never once have you come to me and say, Jacob, let's get lunch. I have. I do lunch. I have never had once I've never once have you come to me and say Jacob. Let's get lunch. I have lunch I have exactly I have and we've had lunch and I loved it. Don't yell at me Raise your voice I was not how you talk bad stepfather you piece of shit Bobby Bobby, he's sorry. He doesn't know what he's doing. He's being crazy right now. You're okay
Starting point is 00:18:43 You're a great person. He is a great person and I loved my lunch with you and I want to do it again He loved that one lunch with you as long as doesn't get in the way of his monthly with Dan Place I'd like to regularly have lunch with you Bobby and both of you that's nice But Jay does not want to have lunch with me. I'm gonna eat in your gay ass lunch. It's always gonna be something I hate what's the place you me. I'm not eating your gay ass lunch. It's always gonna be something I hate. What's the place you go to? I'm sending it. Fuh. I'll send it to everybody. I don't want it. I'll be there. If I do it I'm gonna post it and tell people to go there and start a weird crazy chance about you. I want everybody to go there and make it so there's no tables. Don't give the name on the air. I'm gonna
Starting point is 00:19:19 have a woman come there and Nuru massage you. Why don't you give it on the air and get lunch for free. It's a good place. You'd love it. Hamburgers? Yeah, there are there. Look at Black Lou went like this. Black Lou says the place is kind of whatever. Black Lou said it's whatever.
Starting point is 00:19:37 It's okay. That is okay. Well, he's lost his salary, so I mean, he's probably going to take you somewhere. It's a good lunch place. I mean, me and Bobby have a salary over here, so we could probably like... I think we took them to Del Frisco's, right? Oh yeah, we did take you guys to Del Frisco's once. That was pretty awesome of us.
Starting point is 00:19:53 Let's see what this fucking juke joint hunk of shit that Dan takes you to is. Is it this one? That's it. Kennedy Fried Chicken. They have a ton in Colorado, so that's probably why. It's a chain. I'm a cowboy. It's a upscale chain. I don't know if you see the menu. Yes, so that's probably why. It's a chain. I'm a cowboy.
Starting point is 00:20:05 It's a upscale chain. Let me see the menu. Yes, yes, you're right. Four pieces of asparagus. Oh, he's taking you to TGI Fridays, basically. Yeah, he's taking you to a Texas Roadhouse. Oh, enjoy, guys. Enjoy your TGI Fridays.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Yeah, enjoy your biscuits. Me and Bobby are going to take you to a Brazilian steakhouse soon, but we wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to hurt your pallets. No, I'd like that. We're going to take you to a Brazilian steakhouse soon, but we wouldn't want to I wouldn't want to hurt your palates Yeah, go ahead like that. We're gonna take you to a platformer of 49th. Yeah Hold the phone. No, no, but I Have a maybe tomorrow. I think tomorrow after work. We should do platform it now Listen, I don't want you guys to be super full from lunch, though
Starting point is 00:20:39 Why don't we come in a little early and if you guys want to go to platformer, which is the greatest? Brazilian steakhouse have you been ever I can't come in a little early, and if you guys wanna go to Plataforma, which is the greatest Brazilian steakhouse. Have you been? Ever. Can I invite Dan? Well, I can't come in early tomorrow, but I will say after the show, I right now, I will cancel SDR show if we go to Plataforma, but you have to-
Starting point is 00:20:54 I'll do it, I'm in. No, no, no, no, no, no. You have to cancel on Dan. Oh, we can't, I was gonna invite him. No. Oh, he's not invited. Specifically. I feel like you haven't been listening
Starting point is 00:21:04 for the past time. It's a show outing. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How come you don't invite him? No, he's not invited. So you have been listening. It's a show outing Right. Yeah. Yeah, how come you don't it's a good bit. Let me ask you a question Yeah, you go into lunch tomorrow. You're invited. I'm invited now You've never been invited and Jacob doesn't have invited Bobby Jacob doesn't have inviting power. It's Dan's lunch Does he have a special table there? Oh Christine's already picking hers avocado burger Christine why you get seafood from this TGI Fridays what do they have there I hate when they have everything we usually get one of two two one or two tables are the same same table your table it's our table that's Jacob's getting the salmon with nothing a cedar plank salmon that'll be your
Starting point is 00:21:42 boring ass dinner. Fantastic. Little do you know. Yeah? What do you get? What do you go crazy with? It's not my order. What the fuck? What's your order?
Starting point is 00:21:52 If Jay would go to lunch with me once, maybe he'd know. Jay doesn't eat lunch. I don't eat lunch. Right, but it's to bond with me. He only eats lunch on the road. Jay doesn't eat. I'll take you to dinner, dog. Very odd.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Me and Bobby, we've been. See how it's not a thing to have? Camping trips and all this stuff Bobby invites you to. Camping trips and you don't go, but where do you go? You run right to Dan the second he says, I'm hungry, keep me company. And you guys run, look at you. We keep in touch.
Starting point is 00:22:22 And Black Lou doesn't even like the food. You see him more than I do. Black Lou doesn't even like the food. You see him more than I do. Black Lou doesn't even love the food. When was your last text with Dan? Last text? I talked to him. Came over. You're still...
Starting point is 00:22:34 I talked to him yesterday. Exactly. You're both hanging out. I don't hang out with him. I'm not friends with him. We know he has a show. I love Dan as much as I've always loved Dan. Right.
Starting point is 00:22:44 But you brought, you kept your love of whoever's sitting in that chair and let it go away with Dan. You went to do with Dan. And it just might as well be a fucking, a fart in headphones over there. He's a friend that I used to see three days a week and now we don't see him.
Starting point is 00:22:59 So we have to make a plan to keep, to see each other. And in the interim, you just treat Bobby like a piece of shit Okay, okay. It's okay. Jay. The room is contaminated now. It's contaminated It's contaminated. We can you know what let's uncontaminated. Oh, I'd love here Jacob. Here's your menu for the children You can get a beef bison little cheeseburger and a fresh squeezed lemonade Yeah, get some buttered carrots. That looks great. You fucking geeks. Does Dan go right to the appetizers?
Starting point is 00:23:29 Guys, get whatever you want. Does he order for everyone? Here's a bison nachos for the table. I get my same orders. That's a terrible Dan. That was absurd. It's my Ralph and Dan. I just do that for tall people with deep voices. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I Fire bad Bison burger good
Starting point is 00:23:46 Jacob friend Jacob friend for life Jacob cry Wednesday and hug him Jacob smile when dense face Try having these kind of laughs tomorrow There's only gonna be one funny person that whole table you're're gonna feel like jerk-offs, gonna be so serious. I'll have you know, we have some laughs. Oh. I bet it's at our expense too.
Starting point is 00:24:09 Oh, what are you guys talking, Christine's not gonna tell me. When they go and she'll add it in too. She goes, you gotta see how bad he looks naked. And they're all gonna laugh at me. She's not talking about you, she's talking about me. What's the difference? Nothing. Make fun of your kicks.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Damn, whose kicks? Your kicks. My kicks. I'm just kidding, I love your kicks. What's your kicks? Christine's gonna... Don't worry about what my kicks are. I want to know what your kicks are.
Starting point is 00:24:36 It doesn't matter what my kicks are. What's your kicks, kid? I want to know your kicks. Okay, there's a couple nights a week Whereas my underwear I wear my basketball tights some of the night before I'm playing basketball or If I were ripped rip holes with jeans and I'm like jeans with holes in them. I'll wear those under them. Okay I
Starting point is 00:25:02 Love them And then when I'm taking off whatever I'm wearing over them, basketball shorts or whatever to get into the shower, I'm getting wet. I will do a series of side high and spinning roundhouse kicks in my tights. Oh my for funny or for exercise? Both for funny. Okay. No. Different both. No different. Both.
Starting point is 00:25:25 No, I mean, it ends up being exercise, probably my floor routine. And I kick my own hands. I put my hand up and I kick my hand, but I probably lower my hand to my kick. He talks to Dawkins. So he does it. I talked to, I showed Dawkins who the boss is. Oh, you're talking real kicks. Oh, they're high kicks.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Karate kicks. Yeah. What are you doing when he's doing this? Laughing. Real kicks. Oh, they're high kicks. Tarate kicks. What are you doing when he's doing this? Laughing. Laughing. He's doing a tank top and tanks, doing kicks around the room. It's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Are you looking at a fat guy in a cat suit? He looks like a fat Pat Benatar. Real serious about it, too. I do what you're describing but for real This mine's not for real you sidekicks do that I take my hair dryer do like a fake gun situation I have like whole that's a really not cool looking gun. Yeah. No, I know it's like a comb or something Well, if you're in the future, yeah, it's like a ray gun Pion pion pion pion
Starting point is 00:26:25 If you're in a future old cartoon, it's like a ray gun Yeah, pion pion pion pion You're in a future old cartoon. It's a great gun Lou you gotta turn us off to make me want to do my spin kicks. Oh, please do it. No, I can't please do it It's calling. Please do it. How hard is your leg get huh? How high does your leg get you heard me? Um, I think about two three inches above my head How high does it get really Jay Jay, you gotta do it. Huh? I don't know. Yeah, buddy, you can do it.
Starting point is 00:26:48 The temperature in here, it's cold. Hope one of your boots flies off. I haven't done any warm-ups, I'm not wearing my tights. You're wearing sweats though. Come on, you can do it. Try it, you got it in you, it lives in you. Please do this. Turn that up, Lou, turn it up.
Starting point is 00:27:00 What do you want me to do, you want me to kick this thing off the ceiling? Yeah. You want me to bust one of these lights up here? Yeah. What are you looking to see? I want you to see one of those ceiling tiles. I want that to do? You want me to kick this thing off the ceiling? Yeah. You want me to bust one of these lights up here? Yeah. What are you looking to see? I want you to see one of those ceiling tiles. I want that to come out and dust. Wait, can I hold a paper up? And you knock it out?
Starting point is 00:27:12 Totally. Want to put one of my cigarettes in your mouth? Alright. Let's get some room. Okay. It's going to be great. Alright, Jay's about to do... Jay, take your headphones off. You're going to... He doesn't need Okay. It's gonna be great. All right. All right, Jay's about to do- Jay, take your headphones off.
Starting point is 00:27:27 He doesn't need to, he's a professional. Okay. Jay's gonna do his high kick. He has a karate handout. He's- The play-by-play is great with him, by the way. Actually, he's spinning, moving a chair, and the barrel slash trash can.
Starting point is 00:27:42 And- Eaming. Here it comes. He's getting into it Let me see it I have to see it. Yeah to feel it I have to see it. I have to see it. You have to feel it. And then I do a kick-ass! Oh, yeah!
Starting point is 00:28:06 That was it. Wow. That was actually pretty impressive. That was impressive. I mean, Jake can't sit down there because he just ripped his hamstring. Someone get me some Icy Hot. That was a pretty sick kick.
Starting point is 00:28:20 That was actually more higher than I thought you would. Well, I've been training in my house, as I told you. Jacob's only- I'm very surely gonna involve a cartwheel in this, I believe. Your two-bedroom dojo. Jacob's only four-two. It wasn't that high.
Starting point is 00:28:34 Okay, in fairness, I was pretty stoked that he was the one who held it. They're usually more like bent leg and flex foot. What the fuck is that? Like the domes. Shut up, Christine. It sounds like a boy band from Boston bent leg and flex foot Let's tell all our secrets Christine only peas with door open. I think that's her fetish Door open and she always starts taking it down before she goes in but that's not us
Starting point is 00:29:00 It's a sexy move. But then it when it's followed immediately you're like you're like Back of her ass cheeks and you're like, you're like back of her ass cheeks. And you're like, oh, look at Christine. And she's like, it's just like a long, hard piss. Just an angry Cobra. And then the stopping starts. Cause she's not young anymore. And sometimes the dog goes over and just looks at her,
Starting point is 00:29:21 which makes me wonder what happens when I'm not there. The dog just looks at her. It's so weird so weird dogs starts barking. Yeah, you only pissed or For me, yeah, it's not doesn't work hearing a woman piss is Awful, and I love it. Well, here's the best move. If Christine goes to the bathroom when it's just me in her home and closes the door, I pause the TV
Starting point is 00:29:50 because I know she's going to blow a ball fart, which is going to make it sound like a tuba. He likes it. Why would he pause the TV? Because I like to hold it over your head. That I fart in the bathroom by myself? Yeah. I like to make you feel less of a woman for that.
Starting point is 00:30:07 It's called control. It's a game of cat and mouse that we play I feel. It's the bonfire everybody and you're listening to the podcast version, which is free. Half of it's free. You get half the show. Do you really want half? No, don't you feel like you missed the other parts, right? It's like being half jacked off. Sign up right now at SiriusXM.com slash bonfire to subscribe for the full show. Plus you get all the music channels, you get Howard Stern, you get all the other comedy channels, sports.
Starting point is 00:30:34 And to get our full show, sign up for a SiriusXM subscription at SiriusXM.com slash bonfire. Support our show. Subscribe. When men pee,'s it sounds nice But a girl pee sounds She sounds like the hole is bigger than I ever thought it was
Starting point is 00:30:55 Well, yeah, it's just like it's coming out Like a king it's a stream coming out of a slit doesn't make any sense And then it catches the slit and just starts fanning out everywhere and then it breaks and then comes back in the one. What a good visual that was. I really got it. I saw it this way. Our P-hole is on the outside. It's right there.
Starting point is 00:31:16 Right there ready to go. Theirs has to get through skin. You have to go through flappy lips. Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, with a dog watching her the only way she could finish just a confused dog just turns her head she likes to protect me no she likes to give her food she gets hungry piss smells like do you piss in our dog's mouth when I'm gone Christine are you guys into some weird only fan shit and where's the cash if it is and where's the motherfucking cash what was the video that came up today that with that Peter Kane came back up oh really yes my nemesis you're all time shit who Bobby's not familiar Bobby knows why is he your nemesis you want to go ahead and explain
Starting point is 00:32:20 this you want me to perfect you explain Lou sent me videos too. Perfect. You explain it, go ahead. Yeah, you explain it, please. There's this weird conspiracy theorist, Bigfoot's Alive other animal guy who hates me and refers to me as the Justin Bieber of dog training, who when I had my show, and unbeknownst to me, was making YouTube YouTube videos very angry very and we there is and we and we actually me and my business part of the time I tried to reach
Starting point is 00:32:53 out to him because we thought it was kind of a sterile time and I just never mentioned it I don't know why it just slipped my mind and then Shane found it one day right was it Shane who found one day and we played it on he was a chain day? And we played it on him. Was it Shane? It may have been Shane. It may have been Shane who found it. It was Shane. But it's just a guy. It's great.
Starting point is 00:33:10 This guy just hates Justin. He's got these videos. He's a lunatic. He's got a parrot on his shoulder. I hope you find it. It's like he has a raven on his shoulder. Show him. Oh, here we go.
Starting point is 00:33:18 There he is. This will be about me. He's just got a raven. This is about you. These are the ones. Justin Silver, the Justin Bieber of Dog Tree. I'm just a Justin Silver idiot Justin Bieber dog-train idiot can I just say every fucking every time I post a video when the campers are like
Starting point is 00:33:33 wrong wrong it's my favorite thing please don't stop doing that please wrong this guy's his big and I'll tell you a major problem he has that's one of Justin's flagship moves. The knot in the leash. You put the knot in the leash to grab the knot, to give a little tug when you need to. This guy, not happy with the knot in the leash. Idiot.
Starting point is 00:33:56 I have, my leash that I have has a bunch of knots in it. A bunch of knots. That don't come out. But I did the knot in the leash thing and it did work sure you know I back you up a marker for your hand that's all just a place for your hand I've actually tied them in my cock nice on but anyway yes so again for a picture at home if you guys don't remember if you're newer to the bonfire this guy hates Justin and he's just in a room that is covered with litter boxes and he's got a raven on his shoulder.
Starting point is 00:34:25 Yeah. I opened up Pandora's box with this Justin Silver idiot. I knew he had a show, I've never seen it, and then I was talking to somebody today that was talking about him and how he told them to tie their leash in a knot so that they could get a better grip. Yes.
Starting point is 00:34:42 So, you know, I'm trying to get his correct spelling and everything. Who doesn't know how to'm trying to get his correct spelling and everything. How many pictures do you have? How do you not know how to spell that? I thought you didn't care. I don't, but that's hilarious. Now it's getting wound up again. Wow.
Starting point is 00:34:53 First of all, I hate how this guy is looking at himself, not the camera lens. Well, he's not an experienced... He looks blind. I think we found also the point, this guy also does like sub-dom stuff where like, he's this guy also does sub-dom stuff where he's like, he does videos where he's like, you know, like, yell at Justin,
Starting point is 00:35:09 and he's like, baby wants porridge from mommy, and a young girl pours shit in his mouth, it's like weird dominatrix shit, yeah. He hunts Bigfoot. Nice. No, you'll see him up in a tiny house like yours, Bobby, but with a rifle talking about Bigfoot. I do the same thing. That's your neighbors. He's all together. I did it last weekend snowshoes. I found him
Starting point is 00:35:30 Look on his shoulder. All right dog with its front paws on him Hey idiot Dominant position you're sending the wrong message to the American public And you're sending the wrong message to the dog that you're interacting with. It's my dog! You're clearly not a dog trainer. You're another dog whisperer. We got another dog whisperer, you know, on TV. I hope your show was taken off the air, dude. You have no idea what you're doing. It was. Yeah. I have no fear. Don't worry. That guy used that crow witch magic in the background. Crow! Kill for me.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Is he in a prop, is he in like a props room? He's got fucking, he's got kegs, like he lives in the basement of a Guinness factory or something. His bed, look at his bed, that's where he sleeps. Oh shit. Like an antique bed. Yeah, that's like a hospital bed.
Starting point is 00:36:20 Oh yeah, he's in a basement of some shit hole with a bunch of shit he took off the street. No, these are like grandfather clock a pan These are like those New York City people that like they never get married and they like this is what their apartments look like I'm serious. These are the people I'm scared to be he has a Midget skeleton behind him too. Yeah. No, that's the attack from Mars. That's the attack from Mars, or Mars attacks aliens, yeah. Idiot. Shit about sending the proper message to the American people.
Starting point is 00:36:51 What a fucking joke. What a fucking joke. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, and this is Peter Cain dog training. That's the lesson for the day. Is that, is that, oh, there's a hundred of these. So what's this now? Is this an old one too? Yeah, okay?
Starting point is 00:37:06 Give it a taste. I don't remember this one Silver's name came up today when I was talking to a friend and I love that I was asking her a question the question was who do you think is the most expensive dog trainer in New York City? And she said I don't know you that's what she said and She said my friend used a dog trainer I'm not sure who it was and then she came back with Justin silver and said that There are no prices Market price weeks of dishonesty no market price somebody that's gonna charge you whatever they can get away with
Starting point is 00:37:44 Market price somebody that's gonna charge you whatever they can get away with Yeah, I should own if Mark Zuckerberg calls we're gonna charge him a fortune Yeah, that's what it smells like there's a billion dollars. So I went yeah, we supposed to charge that guy 150 bucks Do you want to see more this new and see the new one? That's an old one? I want to see the new one. Yeah. Yeah, oh, he hates you now. I hope so No, no the new one has nothing to do with you. We're just giving you a taste of who this guy is But what's the new one about the new one is about who found this? One of the campers sent it into the is that him
Starting point is 00:38:18 Would he get a sex change operation it's been a few years Justin by the way, yeah, look as handsome as you looked on dogs in the city, buddy This is clearly when that guy was talking about and now life has really kicked this guy right in the cheeks and This is about apparently he's a quote-unquote mermaid truther. Oh Okay. Oh He's a mermaid truther Justin. It's actually pretty amazing. This guy's never killed you and took your skin Pretty amazing. Yeah. Yeah, there's still time. Yeah, he's not over yet. Yeah, he's gonna make you know mermaid like fucking house with thousand corpses I just want to find his weird Dominatrix videos. I don't think there's you to exist. Please for sure
Starting point is 00:39:01 Okay, so here's this there is visual to this you're gonna have to describe it you'll just see well, it's gonna be a fake mermaid There I figured it out. I'll describe it Mermaid Society and mermaid foundation Okay, you say no I have looked at this footage and so have some colleagues of mine from some major universities late 50s Wearing a Pokemon shirt this guy reeks of Definitely gonna take your head Justin Justin your eyes twitching this guy gives me the twitches This guy the scarier he becomes to me. Yeah, he's off your trail though. I hope yeah I've never been worried till now
Starting point is 00:39:41 Well, also it is scary because now you've gotten into mermaid hunting as a thing you probably are gonna bump into this guy again. Shit in the community. Major and there's a lot of stuff out here with mermaids that isn't real and this footage here right here you're actually gonna see a real mermaid in the wild. It's so clear that this is real. Now, Cornelis looked at this major university, major. Here we go. That is a real mermaid. You can tell by the shape of the tail. Please go back again. You can tell by the shape of the tail. Yeah, a fishtail. Luke, can you pause it right on the fish when the fish goes by? I will. No, by the way, it's a somebody,
Starting point is 00:40:25 it's like computers or a mermaid costume. It wasn't a fish. You can sell those tails, you can buy mermaid tails to swim around in. I think he's trying to say that there are specific telltale mermaid signs. You can only do that in a pool, Christine. This is the sea.
Starting point is 00:40:42 Oh, I didn't know. Lunatic. Yeah, that, I mean. I you lunatic. Yeah that that I mean I Look at that Hannah the movie's called splash. I mean literally it's just footage. It might be from splash the Creditor something Is she topless because we know all mermaids atop no they were the seashell bra bikini Yeah, yeah, they have Yeah, they have two shells
Starting point is 00:41:05 They have two shells. That's where they shop at this special place Kick both their legs to get movement in the water. I mean it's so fucking do you see legs move? You know, he's here was he moves like a I Think it looks like a fucking mermaid, but I mean, it's just not a real mermaid. First of all, this is 16 years old, this video. Oh, good, good. That means he was doing that before. No, it means he just found it.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Oh, the video of the mermaid 16, like he's not. Okay. No. Wait a minute, here's a better view. This is a better view. Also, I know it's not a mermaid because she's white white and I don't know if you guys saw the little mermaid But mermaids are black now, so why don't you guys? There's I know I said that I don't see mermaid color, but now I do
Starting point is 00:41:58 It matters with the mermaid has inside her morals in her character Yeah, I do it. I actually judge mermaid to mermaid, but I will say for the most part I've found white mermaids to be pretty boring. Justin, a question? I have a question. Does a mermaid have a vagina? Yes, but you have to pour, it has to dry up. She can't have water. If she has water on her at all, it turns into a fin. Once she has legs, she has legs, a pussy an asshole the whole deal. Yeah. Yeah, they just pee into their feet Mm-hmm. Yeah, you don't read lore. No You're not into a seal or okay
Starting point is 00:42:33 This guy's the best. He really is a raging Problematic lunatic. It's bad He has guns is what makes me nervous. He what he has guns. We've saw all these videos He's got a raven that will do his bidding. He's got a raven. I have my animals that do my bidding which is different No, but his come from the sky. My animals my animals only work for good Yeah, we're on the good side. Well, they have to protect you in this guy fucking the base ventures You're building full of fucking a zebra and an angry dingo. We're gonna have to get Justin a trident and an angry dingo. We're gonna have to get Justin a trident.
Starting point is 00:43:04 Shit. That's what I need. I hope that you kill him. Mermaids, kill for me! It'd be awful if he just came out, he just stuck you right in the chest with a trident. Yeah, then they all jump back into the sea and their fucking tails grow back
Starting point is 00:43:20 and they get the swim away. This guy's gonna fucking kill me with a sword. Black Louie Sainton. Justin's right though, he does hunt Bigfoot. I looked through his YouTube earlier and it did look like he said that he caught Bigfoot. Caught him. Caught him, yes.
Starting point is 00:43:35 I don't know if he's being serious or not, but on his YouTube you can see where. Oh, but it was probably one of those catch and release parks. So he's just gotta tell you the story. He can't take his, ah yeah, the picture blurry, and then I had to let him go. Bigfoot used me to have a baby? Really? That was my, that's my social media.
Starting point is 00:43:56 I mean. Where is his, his weird fucking fetish shit was so creepy. I've never seen that. So does he live in the city, or does he live, it looks like he lives outside the city somewhere. Oh, I think he lives in the city and then it's probably like it's probably been like the Lower East Side since 77 or something. Yeah He's got a bunch of stories he goes I suck Basque we had dick and did heroin with that new Eurekan guy Yeah, he used to hate the Ramones They're so loud the songs are short and stupid
Starting point is 00:44:24 Pigeon and pigeon care Justin Justin, this guy is you. A long drive home. Here's definitely the girl he makes do things. White hair? Yes, he's got little plays. Peter goes to Walmart. I bet it's also him fucking making a problem in Walmarts. Can we please see him with the girl? Is that it? No, that's a... This is definitely a girl who wants to
Starting point is 00:44:45 be an actress who's a lunatic who probably was abused in her household holy shit look at this and now he like has sex with her at his house that's the same bad Bobby that yeah this is up in the country this is some woods house though no no no dude this is some the back of a queen's apartment Blair witchy This is too moving too slow It's bad shit though. Wow, this is crazy How many views is that half? There's more of more of how many times do we play it? Fuck you can you go with fuck you can you go to thousand people watch that hunk of shit interview with Destiny the vampire girl We've turned a lot of people on this guy's page over the hot
Starting point is 00:45:39 See the thing is when you first turn You're very sensitive to everything because you're a vampire, you're undead. So you're too sensitive for the sunlight, for loud music, everything. But after a few hundred years, you get stronger and you can have a tolerance. Just like you when Dan leaves. Personally, I love being out in the sunlight and being the fun little vampire I am. I see, I see All right, all right
Starting point is 00:46:16 Gotcha gotcha And now what's your how do you pee? And now, uh, what's your, how do you pee? Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I get it Hmm what a good trick Oh sure boo-boo Oh Chillin chillin vampire sexy though. I tell you that sexy and sexual I feel like all of you would just like listen to her talk before you banged her Put her in a coffin every night. No, I wouldn't I wouldn't bang this girl at all But I would talk to her for two and a half hours until everyone around me is going Jay Jay
Starting point is 00:47:04 Can you please enough with this girl? I go no no watch She'll just keep going and tell me tell my other friend here. How long you've lived. She says 2,000 years It's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life She's been around for 2,000 years hasn't figured out a solver slight acne issue. This guy's got a bank account You mean yeah, he's got a sort of function amongst us. Well we wouldn't know about Destiny the Vampire Girl if he didn't kidnap her. Lou said he's talking right here so. So you're Romanian but you also have lived in other countries. Aren't you? You speak fluent Spanish.
Starting point is 00:47:42 There it is. There it is. you you speak fluent of spanish and use there is there is apparently she has babble that has yours are also use to speak our french we we uh... i heard you were in japan for a while here no and no uh... what else would i what are you? What do you wear other times?
Starting point is 00:48:05 What a nut. Wow. No, go back to that. Go back to her? Yeah. Go back to his YouTube page in general. There was so much more there. Don't yell. No, I mean, did you see all the other stuff that was... This is one of a bazillion things on there that was hilarious. I gotta say though, I would probably let her talk for a little while. She's smoking hot'd let her talk for as long as she wanted to talk but nothing about me was be fucking this I love her little her little vampire belly so cute
Starting point is 00:48:32 I would I would I would I would fucking sleep in a coffin with that bitch. She does something weird I'm telling your pussy's ugly for I eat her pussy upside down I'm telling your pussy's ugly some of that little weird pouch on her gut think that there's something there's like a weird bubble muff and like it's always sort of stubbly and scratchy. It's not great Please keep playing I love his outburst questions. Is there one place all around? Is there one place that you really love? Yeah, and they were dancing with you Well, that's nice to hear She's chicken underage. She has questions. Hey, do you shave your pussy?
Starting point is 00:49:10 Does it ever grow back because you're supposed to be dead and it's not a thing, right? Oh, yo, yo, she's what she's going to do right now. She's going down on him right now No, not a chance unless you need a place to sleep that night. Where's she going? A vampire also keep using a warm couch. Look at that scar on her forehead from the injury she got before she thought she was a vampire. Oh, that must have happened pre-vampire. Yeah, that was what her father hit her with. Oh, this happened in the year two when I was bit. Go back to his page.
Starting point is 00:49:43 Okay, Lou sent me a couple videos from Bigfoot, if you want to see those. Please. This guy has got a lot. Justin, I will say this. If I got to do a pro-him, con-you list, this guy diversifies a lot more than you do. Definitely.
Starting point is 00:49:58 This guy really stretches it. Look, he caught him. There's his head. That's an old Kiki blanket. He caught Bigfoot's head. Proof of's a that's an old Kiki blanket Is that a note is that is that the is that the nose in the mouth Can you shit it looks like Nazi propaganda stuff? Here's my favorite thing about this guy how wonderful he is. Yeah First of all, he has 239,000 subscribers. I'm gonna throw. I've got 60 something. I'm gonna hunt Bigfoot this summer.
Starting point is 00:50:31 He's crazy because he has his all to the moniker. His thing is Peter Kane dog training always. And then it's like, hey, interview the vampire and here's Bigfoot's head. Also, don't put a knot in your leash. Do not even get in the leash knotting because don't get me started on that. Yeah, don't act like that sissy
Starting point is 00:50:47 who puts knots in his leashes. Someone did a documentary on it, I see it over there. The Tortured Soul, you see that? The Tortured Soul of YouTube, Peter Caine. Oh, shit, dude, I'm gonna watch that. Yeah, me too. 1.2 million views. What does he say about this Bigfoot head?
Starting point is 00:51:02 This is a man, we're looking, he's got a massive head. How has this? But it has a. It's definitely made of paper mache and fake hair. It's got a big, huge nose and goofy teeth. It is the, if that's Bigfoot, I'd laugh. Its eyes are not actual eyes. They're things that are made.
Starting point is 00:51:18 If that came out of the woods, I'd be like, look at your fucking dumb face. How has this not helped my career more? First of all, look at the comp Look at the calm of this guy. You're working with just dogs. You gotta move on to our ghosts You got a bigfoot you got a interview daywalkers. Yeah, you gotta get UFOs in your mix, right? Right, right, right, right, right, right. You gotta have some bird on your show. I'm too like of this earth Yeah, where's your fucking shoulder raven? Yeah, I need like a gnome or something like that, like a gnome.
Starting point is 00:51:46 Grow your fingernails, make them sharp. Yes. You know what your problem is? What's my problem? You set a very low ceiling for yourself. I really did. You gotta get a cape. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:54 By the way, could you imagine if you had Bigfoot's head in front of you? Without even hitting play or anything on this video yet, his demeanor's too calm for what has just happened. He's trying to get a display to you. He goes, now hold your seat, stay in your seats. This is Bigfoot's head. He's like so calm.
Starting point is 00:52:10 Play it, Christine, please. Animal Planet Show, Finding Bigfoot is a joke. It's a horrible show and it's derogatory to the Bigfoot community. This is a fact. It's about entertainment. It is not about science. It it isn't they make it very clear It's all about them going in the woods and talking BS. They're talking about stuff that they don't know what they're talking about
Starting point is 00:52:36 About entertainment was that on the video You did that I thought you did that. No, no. Just snap your neck. Yeah. You don't do my neck tracks good. Listen. Oh, oh, that's worse than my farts. No, what if you just paralyze yourself one day? You found what the bondage thing? I found little daddy spoils kitten.
Starting point is 00:53:03 You know, this isn't that. This and then that. Let me just... This and then that. This and then that. I need to see if this... I want to see why this is the real Bigfoot head though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You said this then that. This and that. I also found something called Werewolf Boy.
Starting point is 00:53:17 And then that. And I just want to show you the thumbnail. And I'll go right back to the... We've got an hour of show left. Everything's fine. Oh, a naked boy. Now I'm in Werewolf boys Peter Cain's dog training after you see that you go. Oh, yes, it rains dogs. Let me give him a ring
Starting point is 00:53:31 I'm having a hard time. I think my dog's having a lot of separation anxiety Have you thought about taking him on a bigfoot hunt? Then they're afraid of losing money for sure I Have actual proof proof I have several specimens the next one that I will be showing is a big footed I'll that I'm not really sure why my father and his friend had started dissecting it so the let the foot like above the ankle is off and we had that too it's just a fat Puerto Rican girl. They killed always saying this is like a preserved old bigfoot head From his father caught when he was younger. Oh, yeah, because he's been frozen for 65 years
Starting point is 00:54:15 Yeah, that's now now it makes sense. That's literally just a teddy bear. This is a giant teddy bear He won that at a fair absolutely he but I'll tell you most impressive thing about this guy is he made six fucking jumpers in a row to get that though It's this guy's the head they don't talk about the head. Yeah, go back go back to it a Whole Sasquatch, it's a male Sasquatch and we have the foot to foot too How can you tell but I want to reiterate I see a Sasquatch Finding Bigfoot, is nothing more than a joke. It's a giant joke, none of it's real. Don't believe any of it, it's all BS. Get to it.
Starting point is 00:54:55 By the way, this beard, the beard and head hair are the same exact hair, but he's got beard. It's not hair all over the face. He looks like he's in ambrosia in the 70s The supposed expert says that this creature is big foot looks like my dad's friend Kevin That's Christine's uncle Eggs and sausage what well absolutely what he eats eggs and sausage. What? What? What? What? It eats eggs and sausage? None of it's real. Don't believe any of it. It's all BS. Imagine Bobo, the supposed expert, says that this creature
Starting point is 00:55:36 likes pancakes and sausage. Oh, he's turned his energy off of, uh, he's turned his energy over to Bobo from finding Bigfoot instead of you. You're safe now. But why wouldn't Sasquatch like pancakes and sausages? Yeah, aren't these a, I mean, just by that, it's a big paper mache monster. It probably likes a whole bunch of things we don't know. Could we go, hmm. Do we do bondage or werewolf boy?
Starting point is 00:55:59 Bondage, bondage, please. Wait a second, did they turn it? Does he show anything? Let's just scrub the throat. Yeah, go scrub the throat. I just wanna see if he turns it and says this. Touches it. Go to the, yeah, that part. Wait a second did they turn it does he show anything? Let's just scrub I just gonna see if he turns it and says touches it go to the bit Yeah that part the turn you know we go to the most we probably there go to the most replay part well, you're a little into it, but Tell that it's real, but that's not what they do
Starting point is 00:56:23 That is not what they do or they have done where's the underneath with like the neck bone absolutely masses spinal cord on the glue it's glue huge animal this is this this head here is extremely heavy and remember it's desiccated because it's been it's got a screw in it since 1953 it's been dried out in a screw in it since 1953. It's been dried out in a freezer Okay, it still weighs. I don't know A million pounds or something. It's it's very very heavy. Maybe it maybe more it looks gross for sure He has an actual Bigfoot
Starting point is 00:57:00 Nobody's asked to go in no one knows I know it's a shit. They haven't waited and nobody's asked to go and no one's no scientist no one's they haven't waited they won't come out and see it even because they they know it's bullshit think Wayne it would be a part of the the best Bigfoot scientists even though this is bullshit no this is like there's never an actual Bigfoot what an idiot can we do the bondage please yeah we have to break and then we'll come back and we'll do the bondage and werewolf boy There's so much to guess who? Justin Silver's gonna be in Ashburn, Virginia
Starting point is 00:57:31 That's April 19th and 20th for tickets and all tour dates go to Justin silver comm and follow him at I am Justin silver on Social media yeah, I am Justin silver comm sorry I am Justin silver comm sorry Get your tickets and tour dates at I am Justin silver comm and I am Justin Silver.com. Sorry get your tickets and tour dates at I am Justin Silver.com And I am Justin Silver on all social media Robert Kelly's gonna be at the ride comedy fest in Houston this Thursday Then comedy mothership Friday and Saturday and then LOL San Antonio April 11th through the 13th so much back and forth to Texas I know ooh God After that he's gonna be in Lafayette Boston Sarasota for tickets and all tour dates visit Robert Kelly live.com Christine why are you leaning into the ads? I think Jay
Starting point is 00:58:10 Be at the Comedy Zone Jacksonville this weekend the fourth the Thursday through you there Thursday Friday and Sunday No, no Thursday Friday Saturday this weekend get tickets right now And then he's gonna be in Virginia Beach San Diego Diego, Raleigh, BigJ comedy.com. Check out his special on YouTube and go to our YouTube page and make sure you subscribe to that and our podcast, all that stuff. Listen, like, subscribe, buy things we sell. But don't fart. But do not fart in this room.
Starting point is 00:58:39 Do not. The tide will turn. You will be hated. You will be hated.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.