The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - I Think We're Alone Now (feat. Nikki Glaser & Director Sean Donnelly)
Episode Date: April 15, 2019Big Jay dines in the dark with Ari Shaffir in Toronto. Nikki Glaser joins the show and tells a story about feeling sex. Dan talks about an incident that started out great and ended with a girl throwin...g up in his apartment. Director Sean Donnelly calls into the show to talk about his film “I Think We’re Alone Now” about guys who stalk 80's pop star, Tiffany.
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You're listening to Comedy Central. Hi this is Black Lou and on Monday's Bond Fire, Big J told everyone about the strange He should have followed us on all social media at the bonfire SXM
Hi, this is black glue and on Monday's bonfire big J told everyone about the strange dinner he had in Toronto when he and Ari Shafir
Went to a restaurant that serves food completely in the dark. I'll tell you I
Been there's been some talk the internet's been a buzz
Internet the internet's been a buzz the internet the internet about me
Sing I've been very negatively. I think you've been very negative. He said I've been very very negatively
That's the that's the thing on me right now. They just say it's in general that I've been very
very very negative okay, and
I took it to heart. Yeah, I was like am I being negative. Okay, let me uh
Let me turn it around.
And I went this weekend, a surprise guest
for Ari Shafir, I'm in Toronto.
Great.
Dan, four theater two shows, amazing.
We went out Friday and we went to a place to eat dinner.
First we found dude, which was awesome.
That is great, legal.
All legal up there now. Good job Canada. I like Jacob not to tell you it's like right. You guys got right before you went out to eat dinner first we found do which was awesome. That is great legal all legal I know because you're on Canada like Jacob not just had it's like right you guys got right before you went out to eat
Huh, yeah, so guys getting nice
God you love marijuana smoke so much dude
We went to eat a place called noir own noir and it's where you go in and a blind person leads you into a completely dark room
And the the person is actually blind. Yes
They're selling it. They'd have to blast his honor off on glass sunglasses are on. Did you get a you get a peak behind the blinders?
I'll tell you something if they're not blind. Doesn't matter. You're blind in that room
I know and they know how to like ask a question. Well, you think you do it
Mr. Fucking uh Mr. Fucking never look at me never losing these waiter skills. Yeah, I could wait for the blind
No, that'd be fucking hard to shit. It's what's great room is pitch black
Pitch black it's called in the water. Yeah, you absolutely cannot
You can't see a thing you couldn't see your hand in front of your face. It's impossible that that I can't eat like that
It turns out Dan That can't eat like that. Yeah, I got that is I
Go hold on but doesn't that go against a basic biological thing of humans to be able to see like his animals that eat
Well, that's the idea the idea is to you're always like different senses
but
however in agreeing with you,
it turns up to an impossibility.
Everything I got, I didn't realize had rice in it.
So try to get rice on a fork and the pitch dark.
I'm telling you when I got in three courses,
five bites of food in my mouth,
and I may be exaggerating.
Why couldn't you get up?
I may be exaggerating.
Why weren't you getting the bite?
You just, because it was all pitch black
and you were like adjusting,
like what?
Just can't get to it.
Like you feel like it's on your fork.
And then you look to fork your face
and there's nothing on the fork.
Oh man, I didn't think about the execution of the bite.
They give you bread and butter
and like you just laugh at them.
No.
So I peg it at them.
I think both breads ended up on the floor.
Why don't you just grab the bread,
hold on to it and just tear chunks off.
Well I was trying to eat bread,
but I don't know how I would've caught
to the butter anyway.
Dude, you're in the dark man,
you gotta eat whatever you can.
Yeah there's no shame right?
No shame.
My carbs don't live in the dark.
True.
But.
Also do you think poor,
do you think blind people just go to this restaurant? They just call it a restaurant and there's like yeah, I'm gonna go eat
Yeah, I'm gonna go eat. I'm gonna go have fun for once. They put this stuff on your shoulder and tell you it's there
What do you mean they put it on your shoulder then just put a burger on your shoulder?
Yeah, they put the plate they put the plate like this is your thing just your plate is like they don't rest it on your shoulder
They touch your shoulder with a see you can go up and feel it.
Oh, put it down in front of you.
Yeah, okay.
That makes it.
Yeah.
We had a bottle of wine.
We cheers somehow.
Yeah, we figured it out.
How big is the restaurant?
How many tables are in the list?
Here's what's weird.
I think a zillion.
We were the last ones there.
But when we went in, it was pretty packed still.
And just all you do is just hear conversations.
But you can't, you can only zone in on like one that's really close to you, but you hear
everybody in really hundreds of him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a lot of restaurant chatter.
So loud it seems in this room.
And then what's great is it's so loud that I would sit there with Ari and you just hear
the guy next to us talking and just the stuff he was talking about. You knew you can do this. It was very self-involved. Yeah, laying it all out to a girl
Laying it all out to some chicken. You know, I'm really just like you know, no, it's like, you know, what he does trying to fuck
Yeah, yeah, but I'm saying with very like you know, it's like yeah, so I invest in hedge funds and
Bind some selling you know
You know, I was also buying some selling, you know. Yeah, and it's just so funny,
because you're in the dark,
you just sit there and just keep going like,
dude, shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
God, I wish you would just shut the fuck up.
I can't help it.
I just don't idea if you're talking to him.
I kind of had an experience.
That's great.
You're right.
That's great.
And for sure.
And shut your fucking dumb mouth.
It was great.
And for sure, for sure.
I guess it's good.
In that room, if I'll tell you what,
if I went there with Christine,
I don't care if we were there with family
A bunch of friends everybody Christine's closest loved ones
We getting that dark ass restaurant. I bet you we better touch each other's like dick and puss and stuff
I mean where it starts who knows sir you better eat with your tid out
Like I want something to some better come on you can't see anything after after as he's taking your order
Sir can you please stop fingering your date?
You're at noir. We have a street feel it sir. I can hear you
It sounds like you're thumping a watermelon. I know the squish of lovers. Yeah
Halebi is a firm which gives a better grasp on your thick finger. Sorry, I only speak in romance novel
It's it was cool though. It was very cool to do. I would do it with a group.
You only got five lights in. Yeah, but it's interesting as hell. I don't like it.
No, we gotta do it. We should do it as a group. It up sets me. I don't know how.
At some point, you feel like you want to put the corner of the plate in your mouth.
I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. It's fork shovel it all in. You want meooby do it. Yeah, I don't know what all cartoons slide that into me. I'll tell you how weird it is
I thought I had
Like stew meat
You know, I mean like like do you know what you're getting or they don't tell you you could ask for surprise on everything
And they're not trying to fuck with you the surprises either
This is like it's not like a fear fact now. you're not gonna get surprised and it was like duck eyeballs
like now it's your nieces fingers it was like the choice
the loved yeah the skin of your loved ones oh it's so crispy oh it's like duck comfy so crispy
it was uh no they don't try to fuck with you.
It's all basic food, but like,
I thought I had like meat, like a beef appetizer.
It's not only got like one or two
with the little cubes in my mouth, anyway.
Chicken curry.
Or curry chicken, that's bizarre.
You didn't like it?
No, I did like it.
It was just like not seeing it, like to not know at all.
Ari thought his main course was Flamin' Yon.
It was pork.
Got him.
And when you think back, you're like,
oh yeah, that does make sense.
I guess it makes sense.
The chicken did.
I ordered the stew.
Still thought I had stew.
So when you say stew, they just say like we're gonna give you a stew.
No, they just like.
I thought it was like stew meat.
No, they said I got the surprise.
How you got the surprise?
The appetizer
It's seafood surprise that just sounds it does sound terrible
Seafood surprise meat surprise or vegan, you know the vegetarian surprise which is meat
Yeah, we got you're eating pride you're eating per your eating fish the surprise
We'll be we give you the thing you're allergic to. Surprise, EpiPen Surprise.
Hey, welcome back.
We're out for a little bit.
We gave you coconut.
Look at you.
Oh, look who's breathing on their own.
You made your maker.
Do your handshake, God.
You see the straw?
You see the straw?
I almost gave you a field trickie out of me.
I was gonna pull fiction your ass right here
in front of all these people.
They can't see shit, but they'll hear it.
They'll hear me go.
What's happening?
The homey penetrate that chest cavity. You don't like gristle. What all these people, they can't see shit, but they'll hear it. They'll hear me go. What's happening? They'll help me penetrate that chest cavity.
You don't like grizzled.
What happens to you, a chicken grizzled you with?
It doesn't seem like there's grizzly food.
It seems like food they all have prepared
so you can just eat it in the dark.
I think that's for anybody.
I thought that too, like, carry chicken.
That's why I thought it was like stew meat
because it was like, there was nothing funny about it at all.
Like, you know, weird pieces at all.
It was all, making you imagine getting hammered at this place?
Yeah.
Just taking down bottle of wine after bottle of wine.
Yeah, me and Ari just...
Get up and then you just go over another table.
There's like, what the fuck?
Well, me and Ari had it.
Me and Ari shared a bottle of wine,
but it was three glasses and I don't really drink it all anymore.
You know, I really drank like booze,
anything like in months and months.
So like, uh, the three glasses of wine definitely, we were giggling your shit in that place.
Feelin' good, dude.
Oh yeah, I kept cursing up people who couldn't save me.
That's so fun.
Very fun.
Shut the fuck up!
Shut your show, my god, shut the fuck up.
It's DJ Liu, Crackle Crackle.
On Tuesday's show, I guess, was comedian and a host of you up on Comedy Central Radio.
Nikki Glazer.
Nikki J and Dan debated which is better, a wet or dry rub.
And also talked about smelling semen at the gym. Enjoy.
Welcome to the, welcome back to the bonfire, Nikki Glazer.
Good, today I was just in the lobby and I cackled laughing.
So hard and everyone stared at me.
You guys like caused me to viscerally laugh in a way
that is violent.
Yes.
Oh, we were talking umbrose in a couple weeks.
We're saying those, that's those are the shorts for those.
Those are coming back.
That's the, if a girl shinshot me in my umbrose,
I'm like, oh, yeah, that's a great hand job
or out, yeah, that's a great fabric for that.
Oh, it's the perfect one.
And old Italian man jumpsuits.
Yes, swayed.
Swade is.
Swade.
I don't know.
Swade, I don't know.
Swade, swade, swade soft.
For women, it's like the best thing to get fingered through.
Christine, like.
Basketball shorts.
Best thing to finger through, through Christine is gonna answer her pussy
If you're finger right through it like you don't want it to like soak through because you're gonna get wet So you want it to be a little bit like a coarser material like a corduroy all right
I don't know if I ever just done over the past
While you girls are syncing up periods
Dan thinks it would be okay to get jacked off with suede
And he's arguing that it's a soft material that would feel good on your
It will not it will rip your dick off Dan's like jerk it over the baseball
I think I'm gonna have to help it. Oh my god.
Oh sorry, I got Gatococ.
It's all cool since home.
Jesus fuck, what is happening here today?
You guys are so sure guys.
You live in Colorado.
I got that, we call that a little Fort Collins handy.
I think it's I'm gonna go jerk off.
Pass my Nogahide.
Is there anything to this?
My friend, the guy who comes out on the road with me,
he's on my show all the time, Andrew Colin.
He um, he thinks, he needs, he's jerked off with his hand for
so long because he's been single that in dry, he doesn't like use lube. So like, now he's
having sex and stuff and he's like, it's all too wet. Like, I can't, what? I need more,
I need dryer for time. This is crazy. First, first, first of all.
Does that make any sense? Because guy, I jerk, I dry jerk. Yes. Okay. Wow. We're onto
something. This is opening up a whole new thing I dry jerk, yes. Okay, wow, we're onto something.
This is opening up a whole new thing.
That's real.
What are you use?
Loathing or loob?
To pull out loob to Jericho office,
hold down right where it's going to kill.
What is it?
It's awesome.
Why don't you do that?
I do loob.
It's like a brand of loob, like a little warming jelly.
I got a tube of it. I got... Treat yourself right. Yeah, I got a tube of it at CVS on the road. Brand of loop like a little warming jelly
I got a two-moving I got a two-moving at CVS on the road. I was like I'm a beat to this
Why not dude I found it at the CVS? No, you absolutely should if it's a good hotel jerk
It's like a treat you bring it at the CVS. No, you absolutely should if it's a good hotel jerk. It's like a treat Oh, you bring it on the road with you
Yeah, he's got a little compartment in the shower hanger
So that's where I found it I found it on the road rose at a CVS
I'm like keep it hooked on to your bag like it's purel
Three go you can take a spritz
Hey man, I'm gonna hit the can looks like our flights delayed about a half hour
You can take a spritz if you want to get him out. Hey man, I'm gonna hit the can.
It looks like our flight's delayed about a half hour.
Ah.
Shame, shallow bin.
Here we go.
You want to get him out?
What do you do?
He's jerked dry like a fucking...
I'm old fucking grab my door, can I pull on it?
Yeah, that's...
And then, the way...
No, the way.
Of course, here's what'll happen.
When you're jerking off, there's gonna be a little sad, like, you know, the garbage of cool here's what'll happen when you're jerking off There's gonna be a little sad like you know the garbage Indian tier and I will I will take the thumb across that
And I'll work that right around you know the rim of the fucking helmet
You're like a person that has a fresh water well like that's a lot for my things
I said after I'm a pretty sexual person and I'll go for it.
I've had someone was defending me online,
but on the SDR show one time I said after like,
when you come, what are you like,
putting the tissues and do the last stuff and I go,
no, generally where I jerk off is in a hotel
before I'm gonna take a shower or at home,
like, you know, somewhere between 10 minutes
to an hour before I take a shower. And I go, no, if it's generally, it's like, you know, somewhere between 10 minutes to an hour before I take a shower.
And I go, no, if it's generally, it's like, first of all, it's not blowing like fucking porn loads.
I'm just like, I'm just kind of like, I said, I'll wipe it on my god damn thigh and get ready for the shower.
And everybody's like, oh, man, I'm like, who gives a fuck?
No, I mean, I have it all over me, so that doesn't kiss.
Who cares?
As a woman that like you know
Definitely Christine's definitely walk to a store next to me with come all over her body in some way
Absolutely, I taught English with come all over me
I'm gonna Jacob right that down for me. Yeah, that's going to my smack back. I like that one
Yeah, you taught you taught fucking verb
verb You taught fucking verb, verb, verb, yeah, you taught adjectives,
and you had fucking drag come on you.
Teaching a summer school to Korean students,
because Korean parents don't
sent let their kids were in.
To me, it was cocky to you.
They love that over in Korea.
My son was on his break, and I came back.
My son tells me that you smelled like coffee.
I had to meet the teacher who smells like coffee.
It's all men. That's really gross. Man, how did you find that out when you got home? I had to meet the teacher who smells like com.
It's a little breechy.
That's really gross.
Man, how did you find that out when you got home?
I don't know if I actually had come on me, but I was in circumstances where I did not
shower after having a night of filthy sex and I would go into work.
And there was one time on a lunch break where I gave a guy a hand job and I remember going
back to work being like, I had to skip in my step because I'm like,
what a slut.
Yeah.
You're a fucking slut.
What a whiter.
You're gonna go teach children after you just,
like, I let a man to find it.
Touch him all in their little flat faces with your foot,
with your salty dick hair.
Yeah, I was so happy.
It was fun.
Oh, dude, that was a waitress at the seller one time
that's me as joking, but dead serious.
And she goes, I wanna sell it to your name off
for everyone knows her.
I know who it is.
I already know who it is.
You know the story.
She goes over laughingly and she puts her hand
over my face and nose.
And I was like, and she goes, I just jerked a guy off.
And then I could, when she said that,
the smell kicked in, we were like, that is it? And she goes, she goes, I just jerked a guy off. And then I could, when she said that, the smell kicked in.
We were like, that is the salt of your coxol.
It's spit and fucking dicksal.
That's smell.
Coxol.
Guys will work out next to me on the treadmill
and once they start sweating,
like whatever commas on them starts like,
to be able to work it out.
Like a essential oil. And then it starts to mystic through able to warm it up. Like a essential oil.
And then it starts to mystic through.
My section of the gym, and I'm like,
there is a consent, a strong, warm consent.
Someone in this town,
but as I just come, it's like,
I'm the eucalyptus towels.
It's like just coming, it's like,
spitty dick.
It's like dick hands.
It just, yes.
It's so far.
I think she smells like 30 sex. Didn't she just walk up and put her hand on your face and say smell like dick and start laughing
No, she said to me she was I just jacked it. She was I just jerked off a guy. Oh my god
This is black glue on Wednesday show dance order recall the sex story that didn't quite go as planned to be specific
You're saying what was your sexual detour?
What did you, what was the thing you wanted to fuck?
Roads closed.
How'd you get to your destination?
Yeah, yeah.
What did you do?
You settled for.
Dirt road?
G, G, but?
Christine might have put it the best warning.
What's the thing you've most,
like, embarrassingly settled for?
Yes.
And then came and realized,
you feel like you're an idiot.
You're a monster.
You're like a moron.
Yeah.
Oh, you fucking...
One of mine, I would say,
is I did a joke about it for a minute,
but fucking titty fucking girl.
Well, first of all,
Michigan.
What's this chill out on?
But I mean, giving her a,
I mean, giving her a real rap about,
she's like, she doesn't like one night stands,
cause then she was at the
leave and blah, blah, blah. And I remember saying, I was like, I hate the guys do that. And then
Titty fucked turning on man. Yeah. She said it's all she wanted to do. And then I remember
going to the bathroom and giggling out the sentence because I as I started talking, I
realized I'm do I'm like, what a douchebag I am. And you see, you feel like an asshole. I was
like, Hey, you know, that storm's coming. You might want to get home before
The storm hits you. I mean, that was genuinely the storm coming
Yeah, it's a storm coming. Well, it's pretty fucking hilarious dude. I
Can't believe I've never told the story on the show before about Teddy fucking I think I have I hooked up
I don't know this is maybe a couple years ago. I hooked up with a lady.
Oh, this time?
Nice.
Yes, most of the time, or either or,
sometimes they're animals, it's whatever I'm-
You're what they call fluid in the community.
I'm completely fluid, I'm vapor.
I'll have sex.
I'm pure vapor.
I'm pure vapor.
I'm pure vapor.
I'll have sex with air, with light gases,
I'm pure vapor.
I'm pure vapor. No, this girl came over and we had sex and it was great
and she had just gotten like the Rianna tattoo
under her breasts.
Angels, angel tits.
Yeah, she had like wings under her breasts
and under her breasts.
I don't know what it's like a medical exam.
Under her tits, we're sitting there.
Her mammaries.
Her mamm's.
Her mamm flaps.
We order food and we're like hanging out
And she's just like wearing one of my wrestling t-shirts and we're just fucking sitting there watching TV
And we're talking and it's enough time where the balls, you know, they start catching weights like
It's like when you flush a toilet
When the food stops rising and like I could probably get another flush in right now and
So she's like you know show me her tattoo and I rising and like, I could probably get another flush in right now. And so she's like, you know, showing me her tattoo. And I'm like, oh, it's too bad you got that tattoo.
It was like a couple days old.
I was like, sucks you get that tattoo.
We can't titty fuck.
And she goes,
I'll tell you you slid in titty fucking like.
I do.
And she goes like this, she goes,
we can titty fuck, you can titty fuck me.
Huh?
And I was like, what? She's like, oh yeah.
Did I tell this story?
Not on the air.
Yeah, she starts sweating and I'm like, are you alright?
She's like, yeah I'm fine.
And just gets up and then throws up in my bathroom.
Like a lot.
Like I just hear like, right after I do this.
You have a weird to do my throwup sound.
I gotta record myself next time I throw a few.
God bless her, she was so sweet.
She was like, oh fuck, you could tell she was more angry
than throw it, but then she'd be like,
fuck, I'm so,
yeah!
And then I helped her out.
I got her water, we hung out.
I was like, why don't you have,
I went and got her ginger ale, she's fine, we're hanging out. I was like, why don't you have, you know, I went and got her a ginger ale, she's fine,
we're hanging out, she's like, I'm sorry,
I don't know what that was,
less is hanging out, but it's so funny, it came right
when she was like, you can fuck that right?
You can titty fuck me, so we're laying in bed,
we go to bed, start rubbing, you know,
like a little dry hump and,
cause I think she's like six, I don't know.
Are you making out?
Yeah, we met, did she brush your teeth?
I gave her a toothbrush. She's still still there could be like a puke chunk
I did in the gum in the back like that. I just be cool, man
Oh, if you get it is chewy
I go I guess I go. Oh, hey, I just got one of your cheek legs
Yeah, I don't know. Oh, it's like cheek skin. I go. Do you swallow food like a python?
Guys that a half a chicken I go what are you is that a bone? Okay. Okay, is that a half a chicken?
I go, what are you, is that a bone?
I got a bone?
I got a half a chicken.
We started like, you know, just doing some dry humpin,
some light dry humpin, and then she's just like,
oh, God, he just hear her, and then you heard the splash
of walking into the bathroom.
So that was where I was like,
now I gotta clean it up off the floor.
Oh, yeah, Jesus. And then that was that. Never again.
Hi, this is Jacob and on Thursday's bonfire, Jay and Dan welcome director Sean Donnelly
to the show. Sean directed the documentary, I think we're alone now, which follows two
obsessed fans of 80s pop star Tiffany. Welcome without further ado. The director for I think we're alone now,
the documentary that we watched on YouTube.
Sean Donnelly everybody.
Hey, thanks so much for having me.
So you made it in an O.A.
I know how long have you walked away
and not looked back thinking about this documentary.
I feel like it would be a little off.
I think it would be a little off.
But it's cool because it sort of has become like a slightly
cult movie that sort of like kind of, you know,
sparks back to life every once in a while.
This is the death of his death.
So let's see.
Why I said...
Yeah, I said that I go on these lists on the, you know, me and Dana both travel and comedians.
So when I'm on the road a lot, I go through these, I just Google, you know, 10, 15 most disturbing documentaries or movies or whatever.
And I feel like I thought I've gone through all of them
Yeah, and then when I went and looked up these lists
After I watched the documentary because somebody told me to watch it
I went back and looked at some list because I was just in the mood to watch another wacky documentary and I
Or we know wacky subject matter and I went on and it was on most of the list now
So it's like one of those things that was like a mirage you didn't notice it until you finally
noticed it now you notice it everywhere. If I would have read those right up for this I would
have watched it immediately every time. So what made you want to make this documentary?
Did you know one of the two subjects before? Yeah, I grew up in Santa Cruz, California which is
where Jeff Turner is from. Yeah. Sort of the subject of the film. And so we actually just met him on the street downtown.
And then we were talking to him.
And then, you know, as I kind of learned,
like he was talking about his friend Tiffany,
and it didn't mean that much immediately,
but then we met him like a couple other times.
And then somebody else downtown was like,
you know that she has a restraining order against him, right?
And I was like, you know, didn't know that.
What he was saying, Tiffany,
did you know is the pop star Tiffany?
I didn't really know that at first either.
I kind of like, when I first,
I didn't think much of the story or him when I first met it.
I just thought he was an unusual guy.
But then the more I learned about it,
like, I, you know, I think everybody has always been fascinated
by the stories you hear sort of off in the distance of like,
an obsessed fan, who's like a stalker,
kind of like, was like relentless.
And like, I felt like, I felt like for me personally,
I'd always like read little news bits about that and stuff and there
was like never really much about that person or get to know them. It was just kind
of like this person did that and now they're like like a restraining order. They
got put in jail or whatever. It's just sort of like you never really know who
those people are. So I felt like just for my own self when I met this guy I was
like oh I have so many questions.
Yeah, like, how does it feel to have a restraining order
against you?
Do you feel, yeah, which he just brought?
Like, what's going through your head?
Like, why are you doing this?
And like, what?
Yeah, which other people in your life think about
you doing that?
And like, are you potentially dangerous?
Or is this just like innocent?
Or like, I don't know, I just felt like,
I had a lot of questions that didn't
feel like I had seen anybody really like dive into before.
Yeah, well the interesting also the thing is that he doesn't think it's a big deal.
He just thinks he's like, yeah, no, that's...
Boy he has the restraining order like in a packet of stuff that's with like pictures of
her and stuff.
He has like a, it's more memorabilia.
He doesn't really seem affected by it.
Were you impressed with his ability to kind of walk through the truth,
like to kind of just blindly be like, no?
You know, I think in general, what's interesting is,
I feel like as people, like most people are kind of in the middle of the road,
but then when you see extreme behavior,
it kind of makes you think of yourself and the people you know,
and a different light.
Absolutely.
Everybody might have a crush on somebody that doesn't really like them and
then their head do like I think they like.
Oh my god.
I mean it's crazy you say that Sean especially because in the age of Instagram and stuff
you can get so many mixed signals and it's easy to see like obviously Jeff is like a huge
outlier you know like that's like a crazy outlier but you can kind of see in the age of
social media with Facebook and Instagram and stuff. People can misconstrued shit all the
time and be like, oh, this person loves me.
My question for you, Sean, I wanted to know, did you get the idea because he's so fun
loving and silly, Jeff Turner, did you get the idea that he, under the right second or
wrong circumstances, could be dangerous?
You know, I obviously like that's not my expertise, right?
I'm just like a guy with a camera
who's interested in the story.
Sure, yo, no, yeah.
I'm not asking you to make any claims,
but did you get any vibe off him?
Where like, did you see any darkness in him at all
on things maybe even like off camera
where like, you know, something he wanted wasn't there
and he has like a spezz.
I mean, he's got a, you know,
he's got an natural mental issue yeah
yeah no i never saw no i don't think he has any like thing like that but i think that
obviously he lives in like a slightly different reality in itself as well but scary because like
if you live in a certain reality where different things you think are so true then like who knows
like what could happen at a certain point but I
I think he's overall very like fun loving guy who like wants the best and you know he's been around Tiffany many times I mean he's around Tiffany like 20 times in the movie and made me uncomfortable
it made my breath shallow every time I was like fuck fuck is this where he kills her dog?
No, I don't think he has any, it'll wish us or anything.
But at the same time, like I said, I wouldn't like to know.
You never say 100%.
I think it would be smart to always take precautions,
because you do hear stories about people like Jeff
that are a little different that do something crazy.
And even Jeff tells the story in that movie, right,
about how this other guy showed
up to a Tiffany concert and then I couldn't get in and then he went on to murder like an
actress.
Yeah.
Yes, that was in the documentary.
Yeah.
Rebecca Schaefer, I guess, I think was her name.
So there's like a person like that who was just like trying to go at all these shows and
stuff and then they did something crazy.
I don't think that's Jeff personally.
I think he's a different kind of guy.
But he seems to be a sweet soul. He seems to be just a little misguided and kind of
misinformed. Or as you said, lives in a different reality.
If you've found yourself...
Yeah, you've got to ask triggers and he's not like great with people and he's the first
to admit all of that too. But ultimately, I do think that the things that he suffers
from are just exaggerated human qualities that we all have. to admit all that too. So I think that, but ultimately I do think that the things that he suffers from
are just sort of exaggerated human kind of qualities
that we all kind of have, which I think was very interesting
to watch them.
And what I wanted to bring out,
because I think when you first look at them
and you first meet them, you're like,
these people are kind of strange
and very different than most people I've met.
And then the more you get to know them,
I think the more you kind of start to have empathy
with them and can relate to all parts of them. And like my own journey in the more you get to know them, I think the more you kind of start to have empathy with them and can relate to all parts of them.
And my like my own journey in meeting them and getting to know them, I think it's sort
of like the way the movie is edited is that you sort of like maybe at first are like,
what what the hell is going on here?
And then maybe you start to kind of like understand them or feel further a little bit more.
Let me ask you how you do you have a hard time?
This is a real question too.
But you have a hard time not like giggling through
the guy putting the helmet on and you know why you're waiting there with his face all
squished up and what is basically a bike helmet with low sticks on it.
I mean for that, that felt like really intense to me more than funny to personally, you
know like going through. So yeah, was that the energy in the room was like an intense science experiment?
Yeah, it felt, I think the build up to that,
with Hito, is that he had this helmet
to communicate with Tiffany,
and so, like the first time I was like,
oh, can I see how it works?
And he was like, no, that's too personal.
Like, I can't do that.
And so I was like, okay.
And then like another time of day, Jeff,
are you sure, like, you know,
we've hung out with you for a few years now,
and you'd be willing to do that.
And he was like, no.
And then one day, like, after like five years, we're like, hey, Jeff, what about that helmet? And he was like, no. And then one day, like after like five years,
we're like, hey, Jeff, what about that helmet?
And he was like, sure, I guess I could show you.
And like, felt like it took a while.
And so when it happened, it was like, wow,
this is actually happening.
I mean, that's a five year pay off for you.
You're like, you're invested five years into that.
And you got it.
You're like, Jeff, come on.
And finally, what happened, Jackie's gonna
fucking put on the helmet.
He's gonna put the helmet on, man.
He put the helmet on.
He got so quiet. And it was like so meditative, right? Like, when I haven fucking put on the helmet. He's gonna put the helmet on, man. He put the helmet on, he got so quiet
and it was like so meditative, right?
Like when I haven't even seen the movie probably in years,
but I remember that so clearly where he's just like,
I'm feeling very calm and it's like,
it felt so sort of like intense to me as like,
when I saw him in that video.
I can see that dude.
I also found it interesting that his friends,
while most of them see, they're just like one notch more like sane and
mentally together than him but they they don't not believe him either.
Yeah, yeah that guy dog is a really nice guy but he's like very into conspiracy theories
and so I think that he's like always looking for different stories so when Jeff
just tells him a story he's like really Jeff like what are your sources on that?
How do you know that? Yeah he seems like a together guy. And then all
of a sudden, he's like, no, no, the helmet. He got that stuff actually from real people.
Not with you. It helps the chip. No, I like to bust my boys, balls, but that helmet's 100%
certifiable, dude. And tell us, I don't want to keep you on the funnel there, but can you tell us
now how you came upon Kelly? Yeah, so Kelly, after I met Jeff,
I was just kind of like looking around to be like,
is Jeff the only person like this in the community
and I kind of wanted to talk to other Tiffany fans.
So I joined like the, there's a true to Tiffany Yahoo group.
I don't know if it's still active or not,
but there were a lot of like current day Tiffany fans.
It's so funny to hear what Mid-Auts you were using.
You clearly did that like, oh, five or four.
I'm going to Yahoo group.
2019, you're like, I don't think those are real anymore.
I don't think those exist.
But yeah, so basically I found someone who was like,
there's this, I talked to like the sort of the person
that ran that drew to Tiffany Group, who's
in the movie briefly.
She's the one that sort of is like making fun of Jeff.
Yeah.
I think Tiffany is afraid of you.
Remember that one?
Yeah, she's like, he thinks the security is there to protect him and it's a great
to stop you.
Yeah, that girl.
I will remember.
So she seemed like she was sort of was like not just number one fan and she was like the
other person you should talk to is Kelly.
She's like, she's I had a blocker from the group.
I think she said.
And so she was obviously not very understanding towards any of them. She seems like she was
sort of just like, get these people away from me. Attitude a little bit. Like true to Tiffany
group is kind of a group of outcasts a little bit of people that are hanging out to this like
person from the 80s. But then within that to kind of like be like, you're not real. Get out of here.
Yeah. You're you're weird. It's crazy. It's just something to play that. So in some weird way, I'd say Kelly's home was a bit more disturbing than even Jeff's helmet
thing because it was just that subtle, it looks more serial killer-ish because it was bear walls
and just taped up pictures of Tiffany all across it. Yeah. And I remember she said that she'd
put them all like eye heights, so they're just
basically just a one row of them like at eye height throughout the whole house.
So they're all they were all the same exact height, which is very weird.
Yeah, it's weird.
It's like a striped, like a racing stripe of Tiffany pictures.
And I guess did any of them seem to have like a sexual thing for, I mean, obviously at
the end of the day, but was it just like they're supposed to be together?
It was all like an emotional thing.
I mean, I don't think either of them are like,
overly perverted and have like, whatever,
but I think that they would want like to be with Tiffany
and-
Of course, yeah.
But to be saying, but you don't even get a vibe of that,
like how hot she is or anything,
or is it all just basically like,
no, we're just like soulmates supposed to be together. I mean, I have to say a little bit from both of them
But not in like a way that I think they're both they both have like an innocence to them and they're kind of like childlike
So they're not like you know, just
Just talking to the two of the two of them in the hotel room
After meeting her it was like a scene out of step brothers
It's I thought it that's to be, that's the humor is when
you just keep trying to one up the stories that she like her
emotions and Jeff keeps going like, yeah, I remember the
first time she kissed me and dove over a bunch of people to have
to do it. She's like, shut the fuck up.
It was also like to be there feels very intense because they
have such strong emotions, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. She was like crying or on
the verge of tears. And so Jeff was like trying to be understanding and help, but was like sort of
like upsetting her so much. And she kind of flips at a point. And so like, yeah, I mean, I remember
just being there like holding that camera, being like, I'm not sure what's gonna happen here. And
this is like very tense. Like, yeah, I don't think any of that. There's a lot of stuff that I think
is funny in the movie, but it's generally not like
those more intense no no i was gonna ask you that was my next question what's
it like to be around the much footspeed i mean you're about seven percent outside
i think like like kelly was before we filmed her she was like once you get out
here you're gonna have to film me running
oh man that's what i love. That, yeah. Is it?
So like, I felt like, that was, you know,
it's like you don't want, you obviously don't want this movie
to be like a source of people making fun of these people.
You kind of want to portray them how they would want to be
portrayed and you wouldn't want to put anything in there
that they were like, what the hell is that for?
Are you making me look bad or something?
But there's gotta be an element of it.
You know, like you know, she disconnected enough, Kelly,
that like if you leave it in there as is,
she'll be like, yeah, that was me putting
on my running display, but I mean, in the editing room,
you had to have let out, I mean, like a fart
you've been holding in on a date,
you must have let out a laugh, a belly laugh on those things.
I mean, if you're a genius, if there's no purposeful humor
in the dead silence of her just taking off to jog down the block and come back and go, eat as
witness the best 7% of my top speed. That's unbelievable. It was like an Uncle Rico line from Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah.
No, I mean, I think definitely some of that stuff is funny, but I think it is a struggle when you're editing because you don't want.
funny, but I think it is a struggle when you're editing because you don't want, it's not a comedy, I think it's funny at times, but you don't want to make, everything is funny,
you can be, or kind of make fun of them, you know? So, you do have to like ask those questions
like, would Kelly stand behind this edit and like feel okay with this, and this is like
truthful to who they are? Because at the same time, like, if you were to be too oversensitive
right, and you were to say like, I don't want to put anything that was funny in there,
I don't want to put any jokes in there and you just made this like very serious movie
I think that would be sort of inaccurate to who they are because they're both very like joky
people you know she is joky uh a dope ass polyshore impression but I like my uh when she at the end
when Kelly says at the end she's been hanging out with that new girl,
and she goes, she makes me feel a little more feminine
and not the, was like the athletic machine that I have.
It's exactly just like, just such a hilarious,
in accurate, self-appraisal.
What's great is there are those moments where Kelly
talks about her own physical prowess, like a god.
Yeah, she's like well,
I'm just built machine. There's bonus features on the DVD if you actually own the DVD and like one
of them. I'm ordering it. It's sort of like I think there's a whole thing of Kelly's impressions
that weren't in the movie. Oh my god, you just sold. Get ready to get a check, Sean. You just
look at our promise you I bought the DVD will be purchased in my home today.
Yeah, I just got Amazon Prime about three weeks ago.
And guess who was getting that DVD in two days?
I won extras.
Yeah.
And there's an author, you know, for you hardcore fans, there's a commentary track of Jeff
and Kelly both talking through the whole movie.
What are they?
Sean, I mean, what are you?
You get an Oscar for this? Yeah. I'm going to give Oscar for this? You did a director's cut with the stars.
Come on. Oh my, brilliant. That's just a whole new level of fantastic. I
didn't, I couldn't even think to ask for that because I would want it too much.
Because the idea alone would, I would be like, that, the sun doesn't shine that
way. If they say no, it's going to hurt you. Yeah. Yeah.
Sean, thank you so much, man. I they say no it's gonna hurt you. Yeah. Yeah.
Sean, thank you so much, man.
I think it's fantastic.
I hope you ever make your way to New York.
You'll come in and I'm bullshit with us some more.
And thank you so much, man.
Thank you for having me on.
And thanks a lot for your support of the movie.
Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire.
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