The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - In the Lifestyle

Episode Date: October 29, 2021

A promiscuous comedy fan story turns into tales of swingers clubs and being a part of what's referred to as "The Lifestyle" by some.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

Hey, I'm Big J. Okreson. And I'm Dan Soder and welcome to the Bond Fire Podcast. Yeah, it's a podcast and it's also a radio show. You can hear our full show every day on Series XM. Go to SeriesXM.com slash Bond Fire for a special offer. And now, the Bond Fire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder. I know, man. Well, ladies, ladies, just come down to New York to catch them.

Married ladies come down and just catch D. You met her before for sure really Yeah, she just come to New York and what go to shows and then just Wrangle dick. Oh, man. She got it from every of me think Dave might have hit lady out Another couple of media friends of ours. What yeah, what year? Is that drinking? What year? Was I drinking?

Did I have... Oh yeah, you were definitely drinking. Yeah, so I probably was I just in like oblivious to it. Yeah, this is many over a decade ago. Yeah, for sure. Like Eastville days. Yeah. Okay, so like 2011. Yeah, yeah, but she's coming out.

2009. She was going to hotel room and just like want it Was her husband a wayer of it? No, no way. I think I may if I didn't tell us in the radio it's so funny because at one point she like She's a teenage son. She's like an older lady. So we were like like late 20s. I think you can fight Well, I was funny 20s that actually can fight Well, I was funny

No one that everyone's gunning on your mom's poo. Nane Me and a buddy just double-banger. It's so funny to say that out loud now because that is that is a thing that changed in me with no warning No fucking like thing other than it just happened when I was younger. Yeah, I would a double team to check with a buddy. I don't care. I would have jerked off while a buddy fun to check if that's what was available on the table. There's so many things. I was like, oh, something sexual is going to happen. I'm in. In any way that I can be in. And now I couldn't imagine a situation where it was usually the opposite. Usually kind of like the older you get, you're like, I don't really care. I kind of let go of that. It's like the young usually the young when you're young you're like just get out of the room, dude Yeah, maybe I have yeah, I don't know

I don't know if it makes sense. I'm not even kind of like you I'm like you for me because I did it all I did it all that stuff already you better around the block. You've seen it all And I'm listen much less than some other people, I'm sure. No, I know, but this lady, which is in an inordinate amount though, because of comedy, just touring with buddies and doing, I've been in an inordinate amount of situations of like weird, like one girl on me in a buddy.

Yeah, I mean, well, you're number one, you're a comedian, which means if you're a rock star, there'd probably be several women. Correct. Comedy. Imagine the clown world. A lot of gangbanks. Cars aren't the only things that are shared by clowns. Goddamn right. It's all the women. Clans don't get as much. Clans rip. We're just a step above them. So we get like one and a half women, but this married lady, would she ghost like would she set it up beforehand,

or would she just like go to the comedy village or Eastville and just find a comic and be like, yo, come bang me. Would she hot? It was a lot of questions I have. No, no, she wasn't, she wasn't that pretty. Hot would be the wrong word.

All right, not hot, but sexy. Was there a sexiness to her? Or is it straight up like? she's nowhere near the weight or size or build of this porn star I'm a station looks like. But facially she looks like her. Samantha 38G. She's a big titty porn. You definitely know she is.

No, but I'll tell you that last name is going to make sure we find out who she is. Yeah. But so she would just just she would show up Me like yeah the husband's up. What would the husband? Cuz I feel like if you're not in on it Facially facially Okay, she's gonna be on some like pleasant mom face damn dude Samantha 38G is built, huh? Yeah, you know what? That's probably body similar also the more I'm looking like yeah, I guess that is a

Serious set. I mean that woman's built like a fucking tank. Yeah Yeah, she's fun. You're not getting the ball pass them at the 38G No, no standing up at the line for sure not, but she throws down. She's great and and this lady Barb at the line for sure not, but she throws down. She's great. And this lady, Barb. Was that seriously your name? Yeah. Daddy's so fucking funny. That number one, your name's Barb. And you're just going down to New York and getting dick down by dudes in their late 20s.

First off, there is a party that's like, it's kind of awesome for her, but it's shitty that she's married. If a husband was in on it, you'd almost be like, that's cooler. It's a party, it's like, it's kind of awesome for her, but it's shitty that she's married. If a husband was in on it, you'd almost be like, that's cooler. It's wild. So we met her and her other old lady friends. Man, they fucking flock a seagull, huh? What's funny is they are younger than I am now,

but I was 17, 15, 17 years younger, you know what I mean? Yeah. 15, I guess, probably. Yeah, probably 15. So mid 20s. Late 20s. I mean the late 20s. Yeah, something like that.

But it was, it was back in the road gig where I got like a gig here and there and so it was a, maybe Providence or something. I went with like a group of our friends. Sure. Three of them that you know well. Yeah. I just don't want to wing them on the bus. Yeah, I totally It's also so that you can just tell me a commercial where we're like, okay, I think yeah, yeah It's not it wouldn't be hard. I don't think I need them give a shit about this But this is a silly new you want to be you want to be you know polite

We're not much thing there was four of them and they were like the four of us in girl form Which was what was hilarious? That's really funny I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not.

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I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why not. I don't know why there was I shouldn't have been doing something anyway, but I was already being unscrupulous a short Short-jacked Italian lady No, a taller than Mike, but like bull dyke

Same exact haircut as Mike Vecchio lady. She's like how much do you love wrestling? And he's like not that pro shit and she's like exactly Got my leg and everybody everybody, every lady, all married, I believe, except maybe the bowl, the dyke you on was well, marriage wasn't legal for her yet. Yeah, not yet. But she would take, she would take it, but she was pretty important. Hadn't passed it yet. She would have gone three exhibition rounds with Vecchio.

No, dude, that would be sure. That would be some Ivan Dragosh. You guys them two locking horns. This is a Vecchio and a years ago too. He was still way more uptight than I need. Yeah. So you know, I mean, he was like the guy I went I blew I blew weed smoke in his face like a cat for 10 years. And I think it milled him out a little more. Maybe sitting on the catch me there. Show buddy. And he's like, you're right. I could have another bowl

He's like so early to work out I can work out whenever I can work out my dreams So there was a bold Nike Italian lady she was not even That's that you know Becky. Oh, I was not even looking twice in her direction. And then there was like a sweet like skinny nice one that definitely like Nate. Yeah. But again, it's just Nate, it was just everyone was just y'all. You know what I mean? So like Nate was just kind of like, they were all together and they just like, they came to this show.

How did they assemble? They were having a girls weekend. Just happened to be at the same hotel as us. And we were outside like smoking and like they like, you know what I mean? Like me and Lewis probably smoking weed and they were hanging out and then they were just like passing each other, parking lot conversation.

Well you guys like two gangs in a fucking park a lot? Then they all came up to the show. But let me tell you about the other two, because it's funny. Yeah. So the other two were the Lewis and me of the group. Great. These are the two I want to hear about. Yeah, so the other two were the Lewis and me of the group great These are the two I want to hear barb was the me nice you saw that yeah in Samantha 38 30 38G I believe if I was a female born if I turn trans you on Samantha 38G J 44 B. J 44 I'm not even doing terrible for a fat guy. I have the build of a woman that has a cute face and a god awful body where you're like

there's no ass or tits and I go by faces. I got a lot of school spirit. I'm kind of skinny. You'd be a girl with a lot of school spirit. That's how I feel wide ass hips wide hips so the Lewis one also married for sure Which Lewis was fine, you know, he was like I was way okay with barb. Yeah, and Lewis will get the other one was just like the Housewife like tea super teased hair like trying trying to hang lots like a young gum tooth.

Yeah, do you know what I mean? So we can get out. So we can get out for no reason. Got probably three kids already, but she just trying to get out and fucking live. And Lewis is like, what's your problem? And she's like, what's your problem? They definitely started arguing,

and that's what led them to be romantically into each other. So I think they hooked up a barb, barb, barb stayed in touch. So barb, when you hook up with her, is it like, at this point, you're like, hey, we're both married, let's just fucking leave it here. Or are you kind of like not talking about that?

Are you just in it and you're like, let's just bang and go and then. No, I think I wasn't married, but I was like, I think I was definitely sound like, oh yeah, no, I have like, like a life too. Yeah, and she was like, cool. So we, we didn't fuck that weekend, like hand stuff and she blew me maybe.

I'm okay. Weirdly, while Lewis, like hooked up to, I don't know what he did either, but they did something. And then like, they came, then they came down like a few weeks later than you were drop the squares. They dropped the squares. Got a hotel. They got a hotel room and me and Lewis, like because of timing, had to.

Lewis went and banged the one while the other one just sat there and waited on the other bed. Just reading a magazine. Just wild. These are things that I'm saying about. I'm just like, they're so bizarre. At the time, you were just like, hey, you take first shift. Yeah.

And then, you close it tonight. And then I went over and hooked up with the other one. Yeah. Well, the other one waited on the bed. She started to get involved. Said she wanted to get involved. And then she started too. And then we're just like drunkenly weird.

And so we're just kind of like rolled over whatever. Yeah. The whole thing was 15 minutes. Because again, I was like young and also like, this is crazy. And I was like, and also I was like sneaking around. I should have been doing. What are we doing?

This is crazy. Yeah, yeah. What is this? And then Lewis is just in a long jacket being like, I already get back to ticket sales. Yeah, this is definitely, this is definitely, this is Lewis on the streets for sure. Yeah.

This was like 2006 then, you said before you were married. Yeah, so I wasn't around. No, This was like 2006 then. You said before you were married. Yeah. So I wasn't around. No, because you probably went around. I didn't move your 207. So it was like, yeah. And this was definitely Lewis ticket days. Yeah. Yeah. And if it's Nate and Vecchio in both with you. Yeah, this, this time's out to about us. They're with me and both like, well, Vecchio was like a close friend of that point. Nate was becoming a close friend, but Nate was like barking outside of a comedy. Yeah, it was so sick. You know, Vecchio is 06.

05.06. So I definitely didn't know Barb, because I'm like, how did I know that? I'm like, how did Dan miss Barb? I would have loved a Barb. Oh, Barb would have taken her run a Barb. Yeah. It's all tips.

Come on. Chubby mom with all tips. Oh, six, oh, six drinking Dan. Oh, she's fantastic. She's a fantastic. I love a nice divorce she's a she a fantastic dawn from Tucson like she's like that listen No one will ever replace D from T Also, because that was a straight land monster that woman I mean when I saw you see a bar I think bar was bad like now Lewis is argued several times that he's like dude

She was fucking growing she wasn't gross. She wasn't't gross but she was like that's what you say yeah you're like no I like to face she wasn't gross. Her face was fine this is not a girl you'd be like I'm gonna spend significant time with it. Yeah but she was a married lady when was she just came down to rock. So she'd be like she'd be like bring a she like turn her hat backwards like only the straw over the top when she gets on the train she's like you her hat backwards like only the straw or over the top when she gets on the train she's like you got it's like a switch I turn around and I put it on the train and I go down there and suck every dick I can. A peripheral friend of both of ours that we know very peripheral this is someone

you don't see all the time uh went with me one time or twice he went with me to a barb hotel room one of them she she just got like a hot Hispanic hooker also to come out, it was wild. It was crazy. If your barb's husband, and you find out about this, does it hurt more that she's cheating on you, or does it hurt more that she's just rocking the fuck out away from you, because you wanna be like,

if your husband you're like tell me about that Yeah, you know instead of being like you're just coming back here and making stove top and we're watching fucking CSI and you're going to bed Are you sure you're sure her husband didn't know this is totally secret life stuff? Totally he rich. She completely was like she said she was able to say she was going to like work conferences Shit forget what I'm ever married bitch. She did something. Did you ain't going to no conference?

And if you argue better, I'm a baby came you. I want to see some of your ass. I want to see she was a speech pathologist. Yeah. So working on language of love. So one day she just mispronounced. She had just blown me and I think a young Dave Smith Damn and then uh, we were smoking

Like outside after we're you know like the all right. We're gonna wrap this up and she was like a something about her son like was a teenager Who's like? My uh she was I was watching your comedy and my son Two gross like when she's like my son and her husband. Oh, so her husband said he hated it Oh Right, which probably just fucking gets her goose. Oh probably being like yeah, you said I hate it. Oh my god Fucking get her so they must be like set her son loves it. Okay, and that I asked to call you dad No, but says it but says I've become a his favorite comments, which is it so I

and that I asked to call you dad. No, but says it. I've become like his favorite comments, which is it. So I, even at that age, I go, Jesus, Barb, I go, I go, I go, I go, I go, I mean, I mean, I don't know, if I'm just having a crisis of conscience where I'm thinking, oh, like this teenage kid hears this, it's like young teens, you know, I mean, like 13 or so.

Well, now he's in his late 20s. Sure, but I was like, and if you're out there, you know, Barb, your mom, you his late 20s. Sure. But I was like, and if you're out there, you know Barb your mom. You know your mom, Barb. Yeah, but sometimes you don't know Barb's out there barbing, you know what I mean? No, I'm sure they didn't. But he, anyway, he, she was like,

hey, you're favorite comic. And I go, this is what you said. I go, oh my God, I can't help thinking in my head if he found that about his favorite comedian, like bones as mom once in a while. Can I tell you right now how happy I would be if I found out the Dana Carvy was just laying it down on Trisha 93. Would you know?

I got a lesson out. I'll take it. So what's going on? You got as even my new dad can we just move in with them? Yeah. Here's the thing. It was just like, I don't think I would be as a sense. What married?

Oh, dude. Your parents were mad. I'm say it's like you're finding out your mom's fucking That your mom's fucking your favorite comic now and several of his boys That's a rough and she goes I swear to you. He goes now my kids are cool He probably like yeah mom go for it? I go no? He'll probably be standing on the roof of somewhere either shooting things or waiting to jump yeah, and she was like oh Like why would you say go that's crazy to think that he'd be psyched about this so what's fun? He just disconnected or I guess but maybe like the next time whatever it was months later or something like that. I did a A gig she

lived like near Albany or something and I did a gig and And I was like I was like there's a game coming. She was oh she wanted like fuck around and I was again But this is still obviously sharing hotel room sure everything you did and I think it may have been Dave was with me or something, but like she comes over like in like the late morning. Okay. Sort of like a 9 a.m. Yeah. And she walks it and like Dave was there. And she goes, Oh, like, oh, yeah, I didn't get somebody here. I was like, yeah, just Dave, just Dave, you've blown Dave and all that stuff. And she was oh, he's just, yeah, I don't do that anymore. And you're like, okay, then so. They gave it up for lent. All right. And then she just like took off. And I was like, she was only doing double blow jobs on Fridays. Never heard from her good.

Wait, that was it. Where she was like, I don't do this no more. Yeah. I gave like, by the way, I was like, great. All right. Cool. So it sounds like everything's going well. I was like, well, Dave's here. it sounds like everything's going well. I was like well Dave's here So we can't do anything then she's left Damn, and that was last time never heard from her again. I heard from her again disappeared into the night. Yeah Barb bar Barb damn dude. There is something fucking crazy about Just having that whole secret life.

Oh yeah. And then just coming home and your son's like, this is my new favorite comic and she's like, the stories I have. Yeah. Yeah. You know, do you think she ever shares it? Do you think she ever tells anybody?

Yes. She's like, lay odds. I would just go down to New York and get dicked down by the comics there. Yeah, my guess would be, uh, for sure. And now she's older. So now she's just, you know, so now she's probably in her late 50s or something. She's lays back and she goes, I had a time. Mid-55th time. I'd be here. I have no idea what her last name is or anything.

Look her up, but Barb. You don't have any podcasts hosts I've had inside me. Yeah, this isn't Facebook time or Instagram time and none of that I'm trying to think so I'm like there's none of that to even like I wouldn't even know how to look it was none of that shit going around Maybe head down to the city maybe the beginning of Facebook Which how often do you think you come down to the city? Once every three months six months. some between there for sure yeah some between there I just oh like a year a year a little over a year so under five times oh yeah yeah yeah okay but that's still like how many other you know that was

almost all of them I said you know it always fuck might have been three or four times but like either way I get now probably four or five. Yeah, would always fuck me up in middle schools when I like to girl And then I'd be like yeah, this girl likes me and then someone would go like if it was that easy for you Imagine how easy it was for someone else and I was like oh damn how but damn I think about if she did that for you Who else has she done that for? Well, it didn't seem like her first rodeo did it? It did.

It seemed like this was an awakening for her. She seemed like she, this is her, by her description, she was in a mare, I think it's like, it's like upstate like, hillbilly shit. So this is how it started to get married for a long time, but it was still getting her groove back. And then one day she was like, I don't do that anymore, you're like, okay.

Do you think she liked you and was like trying to impress you by being kinky? No. You think that was who she was? Did she know? No, no, no, no, no. I don't think she was doing extra stuff on my behalf. And I was too insecure nervous to probably ask her

to do too crazy. It was kind of upon her suggestion with everything. But, no, I thought it was great. Like I said, it was getting over but the old lady throwing it down. Yeah, but do you think, that's like an interesting place to think that, like do you think she was, she just liked you and she was like, oh, this is awesome.

Like I like that. Do you think she liked me more than just like fucking me? Did she ever, I mean, she was like, she's, by her description, happily married, she didn't want to a fuck her family, that was why she would like leave town and do stuff. She wasn't fucking anybody like in town, I guess. Did she fuck any of your friends without you?

Like are there people? Okay. That's a piece of information, we're like, all right. So she wasn't committed to you and then through you. In fact, almost I think I got kinda like, all right. When there was a time she came to town and didn't, and the other person I know was kinda like, yeah, I just saw so and so, I'm like, all right, when there was a time she came into town and didn't and the other person I know was kind of like, yeah, I just saw so and so I'm like, oh really? He's like,

yes, came down, she's coming down a couple times actually. So it's like, I think he actually, I think he actually, and he's a peripheral friend. It's something if I, if I said the name on here, I would even be like, who? So it's no point. But I would know them. You know them. Yeah, yeah. It's a, he, like, I think he probably, like, over 10 times probably. Wow, so he was Barb's main piece. I think it switched over where her focus was like, well, I'm just gonna hit up him.

I think what it is, I think she got a little taste for the old BBC, the old Big Block crack. And then it started being like getting him. And then I think she also just said like grabbing people from bars. Wow. And bringing them back. I always thought that was like when I was in my early 20s, I was like, that's so awesome. And then you get your late 30s and you're like, no, that kind of slutty. This is cool, but only when it's controlled, controlled, you know, yes, like the winging it out there like that, you're like, that is dangerous.

Generally a lot of booze involved. Yeah, but I'm talking about when it's sober slutting, when it's all practical, pretty great. Fantastic. Pretty great. Adults being adults, pretty great. That kind of thing where you're just machine gun spray in it right you're gonna get someone to hurt Especially if you're married. That's like I don't think she was happily married I'm maybe not but I'll tell you what though. I do feel like in her defense like this was she wasn't like

Putting it out there like to the world. I wasn't like this isn't like only fans yet to knock and shit like she when she was in it She was like to me. It was, like, she, when she was in it, she was like, to me, it was like, and she had it and she, I'm not saying she'd go back to it, but if you're going by the time I've heard tell me she doesn't do this stuff anymore, you're like, okay, cool. It's like, she probably had her fucking like, that was fun.

Do you want a little wild for a couple of years there? I wonder if she's like a Mrs. Pointexter where she was just telling you her husband didn't know so you wouldn't feel weird and then her husband didn't know. You know, it's impossible for me to say that's impossible. Yeah, but I don't think so. Okay. You just wonder if it's like one of those things where she's like, I don't want to spook him.

I, I faintly believe she'd even told stories about thinking like she almost got caught with something. I think she started getting, I think when she got the itch, I think she started fucking people locally also, like in her town. Damn. And stuff like that. I think she started fucking people locally also, like in her town. Damn. And stuff like that. I think she was like, she's spinning. I think she would tell me because she was a lot,

and I was young enough to be like, wow. Whoa. I mean, it's just cool. Well, it's a hot story to hear. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, her disappearing is very funny. Her just walking into the mist. It's over.

So she was coming over to hook up with you, but she didn't want to hook up with you and Dave. Yeah, I went in front of Dave, right? Yeah. I don't do two whites anymore. And I say I don't know what it would have been on, but maybe somebody fucking threatened her with pictures or so. I don't know. I have no idea. But like, never was she. No hard feelings. no matter, I thought Barb rocked. Yeah. Barb ruled. When we talked about it on Skanks before, even like Lewis always talks about it

with like the shitting on her nose, she was fat and she blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, all right. I think Lewis loved her. But, but he's the thing. I think he was in love with her the whole time. She was fat, but with big, awesome, gargantuan titties. God bless. God bless.

Jobless. And she came to throw down. Can't argue that. She came to party, dude. She's an angel from heaven. Yeah. I wouldn't leave a club with that barb now, but for 20 something year old Jay,

dude, barb was like, hell yeah. Yeah, pretty enough. Don't forget. She's pretty enough. And she'll do whatever. Don for Tucson Rock. I was broke and shit obviously. So that's what I'm saying when she does things like,

she goes, I'm gonna get like a hot girl to join us. I don't think. Great. That's so awesome. Can I also get a sandwich? Are you asking us to kick in for it? I'll tell you this we ain't got it. You know it'd be really cool if you just bought the group dinner I don't even think you need to suck us off. We just kind of need to eat you mind if I get an extra sandwich pray for later

I Barb can I get a brownie to go hey Barb? I just love treats after you suck my wiener. Oh Do you think the husband was just a schnuck or was he like an, oh, my best guess. An asshole. Yeah, that's a good one of them. I make is probably like asshole, that what she would describe as an asshole,

he's probably completely uninterested by now because here's thing, barb also may have been a hot chick who became a mom body. Mom body. Or face wasn't ugly at all. You know what I mean? So she thinks she was a prize wife

and then they got older and the guy started. Not a prize wife, but I mean a wife he was just into and then he just probably was like over it. He didn't see what I saw in barbed wire. Yeah, you saw the spark, you saw the fire. The New York comedy scene saw the flame. That was barbed wire. The New York guys, he saw the flame that was barbed in the York guys. He saw the flame that is barbed

For sure the barbed flame grow and then and then she went back and now they're probably you know on a porch doing crossword puzzles Oh, yeah, Lou you've damn dude. This is such a color topic. Poo-koin like there has to be maybe I don't know if we bring it up, but everyone here's got to have their story of, was there a neighborhood girl that just did something that everybody, I told you, I told you, I told a story on this before too, the girl, my neighborhood, blew everybody and then my friend, Dave, not Dave Smith, is back in high school, fell in like he was the one that started actually like seeing her. Dave, we, I've spoken about this, but that girl that was a, worked at the strip club in my apartment complex in Ericka.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, Erica. And I was like, she's so hot. And then she liked me. And I was like, oh, and we had sax. I was like, this is incredible. And just like, I have a boyfriend. And I was like, we'll break up with him.

And she was like, I want to. Let me take you away from all this. And I was like, we'll like, baby, I want you, but, baby. And then we have sax. And I was like, what, baby, I want you, but baby. And then we have sex and I was like, I mean, she was a stripper. She told me she's cocktail actress. Okay. And then I told you the first time was that hippie,

that fat hippie under me. Huh. He wasn't there. Dude, he was like, we were smoking weed in my apartment. And I was like, oh yeah, I got air out. And he's like, dude, what a blow job apartment and I was like, oh yeah, I grew up in Iraq and he's like, dude, what a blow job. And I was like, what's up?

Yeah. Oh God. I remember exactly when I was sitting on the couch and he was sitting and I was like, oh, and I tried to be cool about it. So you're like, oh yeah? She sucked your rod. And he was like, yeah, dude, like two nights ago.

She came up for a movie to buy weed from me in bloom because she saw weed. And he's like, our mirror was gone and I was like, You're fucking wrong, dude. And then my patio was my porch was kind of covered with a tree in the parking lot, the middle parking lot of the apartment complex I lived. And after that, I was like, oh, I don't really care. Also, she has a boyfriend.

Everything started to click where I was like, as girls, a problem. And then I was smoking a cigarette late night and the limousine from the strip club pulled in. And I was like, well, I know who this is. And she got out of the back. And these guys were playing beer pong on their thing and they're like, hey! And you just, it was like boogie nights.

They're like, hey! And she's like, hey! What are you doing? She's like, God, what are you guys doing? And I'm smoking a cigarette. It's across the parking lot But I can hear it. I don't really care at this point. I was kind of like now But you still don't want to lose you still like as soon as those guys start winging out of you're like I should wish I could show them that I've already fucked you. I didn't like you would be that those guys goes

I didn't really have I didn't have that feeling as much as I was like, oh no I was like watching your go and I was like, if she goes in this apartment, it's fucking done, you know? And then she went in the apartment. She was like, you guys hanging out? And then she like walked in and I was like, oh, let me get my panties off. Yeah, oh my god, which one do you want to go

my mouth and my pants? And then I'm like, oh, and then I didn't care. And then I remember her coming by trying to wing it at me one time. Ironically enough, when that girl that I told you guys that I was in love with from high school from 16 to 21 that kept like being like, let's hook up, that's not how it got. Let's stop. And then she came to my shows in Denver and I read the text message on the show where she was like, I just sometimes wonder what it could have been. And I was like, don't do that. But she was in Tucson that day, and we were hanging out,

and I was like, I'm about to bang. I'm gonna wait in the bang this girl, since I was 16 years old, and then that girl came by and knocked on the door, and I was like, what's up with this timing? And she's like, do you have a wine key? And I was like, get out of here. I'm gonna suck your penis.

Get out of here, you blew half of the building. You, I picked your that girl now as a, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, pop it up, body all the time. Dude, probably not that far off. She wasn't rushing around. She, but she had brown hair, but she had like, she had early 2000 fake tits,

which you know, you could see like the size of them. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Damn, dude. It looks like, it looks like a ghost is holding their tits. Yeah. It looks like they're being pushed from behind and their skin is, their bodies about to jump out of their skin.

You ever see when they bend over? And it looks like it's like a ghost is holding their tits. Yeah, it's just holding up and then it's like hollow man. It's like the hollow man scene. Yeah. That's where regular tits. Yeah. But she, but yeah, and then I heard that she got caught

by her boyfriend banging two guys after a pool party and I was like, this girl was wilding out. Wow. She's partyin' all the time. Ba-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b I Was a part of me that just there was like an empathy part where I'm like hey, do you need help like what's going on? The way you're just spraying this shit you want to help here tell to my little therapist. Oh, yeah Session is in With the doctors in oh Does that make you feel the doctors in how does that make you feel?

I finish it and you was it safe is that oh my god, dude I finish and you was it safe? Oh my god dude. Um, Amir, I just remember her leaving one time and Amir goes, Yeah, she's a slot, right? I was like, I don't know. I don't know. Stop Amir. Shut up, dude.

She's great. Shut the fuck up, dude. Was there a girl, Christina? It was like a pass around girl. Obviously don't say a name, but like a girl is considered a pass around girl. Yeah. Please tell me it wasn't you.

No, it wasn't me. Yeah, was she your friend? Yeah. And how did you, now this is an interesting perspective because as a friend, how do you coach that? Are you like, yes, girlfriend? Are you like, maybe you should stop Sarah. Well, there's a first round of friends

that she was in it with where it was like, it really made the girls just not like her and talk shit. So we weren't like super. Why? Because she was just blowing everybody? Just everybody. Like she hook up with everybody. So you can find out. It's funny, he was like the toughest kid in the neighborhood.

Like if you're a boy, you're like, this kid would fight anybody. And if you're a girl, you're like, this guy, this lady would fight anybody and if you're a girl you're like this guy This lady would suck anybody Anyone anyone how old were you guys in high school? Oh Wow that means that there was some real shit going on in that woman's life. Yeah damn high school blew everybody I knew I mean I'm definitely not a girl blew everybody my high school because I didn't I told that story about tigs when her Sister was a waitress at the studio. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, I mean, she blew me and I was, I was bottom barrel of the social. And she was also like hot. I know it's weird to say that now because we were kids, but like as far as the girls in high school win, especially in like, Archer, for friends, like she was hot. Yeah.

You know, and damn. Dude, hot and slutty is, Christine's got a skewed idea of hot. Yeah. You know. And damn dude. Hot and slutty is it. Christine's got a skewed idea of hot. I don't care. Even the idea of it is hot and slutty means not only are you attracting because a lot of times just flat out slutty behaviors like this is look what I'll do. I'll do whatever. Well it's gotten heavy set chicks through like school most of their most throughout history, but I'm saying yeah But but a good looking woman that's just like I'll fuck anybody you're like whoa What's good because a lot of times good looking people their view of the world is skewered because they're good looking and they get everything

So they don't have to give anything So then when they are just giving it away, you're like what's going on? on? Yeah, there is a girl named Rhonda in our school who didn't blow anybody the best of my knowledge, but should have blown everybody. You know what I mean? Nah, all right. Might have pumped her up a little bit. Yeah, I'm on a booster score. It's very positive. I would have been finger-popping chicks all over the place if I knew it would have wrought, if it would have raised in the rankings.

I like this is always a sentence, like if I was a girl in high school, but like, if I was a girl, what you mean is if you were a girl in high school with your boy brain. Yes boy just I mean I would be sitting on dick all day long. I would have fucked in school bathrooms. I've Yeah, that's a boy brain Nobody fucked in my school growing up like at school or got blown at school. I told you that story about That guy it was actually I think it was the guy that my girlfriend in eighth grade cheated on me with he got Blown by this girl in the back hallway Another girl

The guy ended up being like a fighter pilot in a Wall Street guy. What's that really pop? Yeah? But you this girl had the first wave of friends and then she was just banging everybody So they turned on her and then she came to your group Yeah, then we became like we became friends and then there was like the college group of friends And it also she kind of tore through that as well She's just ripping through it. She's a good friend but for like six months and then she's gonna Tasmanian devil every dick around We was also like moments we started drinking. Oh, yeah through it. She's a good friend, but for like six months and then she's gonna taz me and he and devil every dick around her.

We was also like moments we started drinking. Oh yeah. So you were friends other when you went from not drinking to drinking. Yeah. So you basically watched a slut get on steroids. Trust me. Christine wasn't always the girl sitting on the other bed waiting. Yeah, sure.

You know, if she partied, God bless. I definitely like I hooked up with guys that were in the same friend group, but like two, maybe three, not the whole group. She would go top the bottom. We're already. She's a group. Don't be paranoid.

Two to three isn't a lot. No, I'm not paranoid at all. You're paranoid. No, I'm not paranoid at all. Why? Somebody over my shoulder. What's going on? We have a diagram of like my high school friends

and everybody that hooked up with everybody. Yeah, because it was really, I mean, that was a very insesuance. The scariest thing I've ever heard you fucking say out of your mouth. It's sex math. And this girl, the big trash, this slutty girl that you were friends with, touched on everybody.

Yeah, and then I heard guys, like, then one day I heard like a guy say something about her that was like derogatory, is like, if you can't hook up with that girl, like, you have no game. And she was your friend still at this point. She's my friend, she's my good friend. I was just like, I was like,

I was like, don't talk. I was like, don't talk about her like that in front of me. Like, come on. Yeah, like, we both know you're not wrong. Just don't say it to my face. Look, I'm gonna say something right now. Facts or facts, but I prefer you to say that. Yeah, I don't think your knowledge is off.

I just think where you're expanding that, where you're just telling that knowledge is not in the right place. She left, I had my going away party and it was like my 23rd birthday party and it was this big thing at this bar of barnacles. We'd all hang out at it and there were a lot of people there. And she walked party and it was like my 23rd birthday party and it was this big thing at this bar barnacles We'd all hang out at and there are a lot of people there and She walked in and she was like she's like I got it was just too. There's too many guys

It's our day someone new and she watched and she's like I love you, but like I gotta go She's like this looks like an intervention for dick Christine's going away party. It's her Remember your pussy's life She was lying in a light remember this voice here you suck them off behind a circle. Okay Drive me home. Yes. Keep it going for Tyson That's Randy from my man at the donut Place. This guy gave you an oil change for a hand job in the back seats. Brock. Of course Brock. Hey. I'm going to you. I have

a suit. You were so big. I couldn't put you in my mouth. God, your cum was very celery. Did you drink a lot of celery juice? It's so celery. She did it. it's odd, because she's still slutty, but like adult slutty. Like she kind of figured out. She's in the lifestyle now. Yeah, she like figured out, you know, some shit about her, but she like figured out how to like have fun and like be promiscuous and so pretty. But do it like, not in the same way.

What's that? No, I don't think I know who it is anymore. Oh, you don't know the friend anymore? I thought I did. Yeah, but that friend, yeah. I don't know about any Christine's friends that are current sluts But to watch her matured and the one is gotta be you know, you can got to feel good Yeah, there you go now you're getting it. She's like no more you're getting it a little safer I'm not doing any more pairs of direct siblings anymore And twins

Love two guys at one time! And twins! Yeah man, that, um, that's gotta be good. You know, it's kind of like when you see your friends pull out of a bad addiction and they like find something they're into like rock climbing and you're like, you know, dude? Climb all the rocks. The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The first... The I'm climbing. All the rocks. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first.

The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first.

The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. The first. I think it's funny because it's only it's very funny I think it's the funniest because it's only used as far as swinging and gang banging right or and what you're sometimes one in the same But I'm saying when gang members talk about it like you know, I ain't in that lifestyle no more Yeah, it's like oh you don't let your life get fucked by your friends and run you and he's not other lifestyle No, I can't wear red

Gang banging like gang gang gang bang No, no, no, I can't wear red. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? If you ever get ahead of the lifestyle, if you're in the lifestyle, that's why I would never call myself in the lifestyle. Such a waning. Fuckin'. By the way, man, when people, can we get a third meeting for video games? When people say, but you know me, I'm in the lifestyle.

I gotta go home. It's a great flag to fly, that will make my ears perk up if somebody says. How are you? If a girl told me in Christine, like, yeah, I've been in the lifestyle for whatever years first thing I gotta go What set you rep oh Rip your set. Oh, I'm down with blow job parties. I'm down with it's three sons with women

Rep goes set. I'm down all that shit. It's definitely an easy way to get like into the conversation Oh, so then this is not a crazy thing to be presented to you. However, you're also like, it's probably not someone you're going to hook up with a bunch because I don't want to hear the word lifestyle. And talk about lifestyle events. But that's what I said. And how you met so many cool friends that you go boating with now because you met them in the lifestyle. And when me and Carla years ago went to a swingers place before, we're both in the lifestyle. Two times we went. A couple took us one time to swingers. When you guys ate, when you guys ate dinner, no, that was the one we went to a strip club. And then it was like, you want to go

check out downstairs, give a couple, you can check it out sure that was 20 minutes We were downstairs total those and then Carla bar tended a Swinger's party once that we just should have hotel I'm like didn't have to be topless or not. They're just fully closed Yeah, and they let me come after my comedy shows because I was gonna bar back with no I just literally I walked around like my hands in my pocket It's all crazy shit real it was very interesting. What's the craziest thing you saw that a guy fucking a girl It's nothing. It's the thing of the night. Okay guy fucking a girl in a couch with a circle of naked to semi naked people around them

Okay, and me in full clothes with your hand in your chin. This is before gloves. That is before gloves. Chin in your hand? Yeah. Uh-huh. So as they're fucking, sure, I'm staring, of course, trivia. I'm staring, because what I'm blown away by most of is that this guy's dick is pumping out of this girl's chanch on a couch in front of all these people. So I'm staring at that situation.

And it starts noticing as the the guys poem is dick out his cut the condom is Rets gets blood all over it. Oh, I think you've told me this story. Yeah, yeah, and I Say something person may go oh, hey whoever's next to me like shark in the water I got that girl shark in the water. Yeah, that girl's bleed I'm trying to like like make a friend through like Yeah, look at this with me and he goes oh gee I don't know if it's the thing when it happens like but they do so they did call it they go up friend friend You guys might want to go check yourselves out and clean up a little bit Thank you guys everyone and it's pretty like clapping for them or whatever and like and the guy pulled out

But here's the guy was hammered the girl tries to go right back to live in the night like nothing happened. The guy is a, every time I see him, the rest of the other hour and a half or so, you know, every time I bump in this guy walking through different rooms. Does he stay naked the whole time? I don't remember, but I do know every time I saw him, he was like with his head in his hands, like, like, like, if he say, threw up a bunch, and like ever all kinds of stuff, he just didn't take it well at all. So he was hammered, that was like hammered confidence, he was like, I'm doing it!

I'm having sex with him! And it was like a younger guy, fucking like a mom lady. So he's like, I'm giving it to her. And then it was like, oh, then it got so gross to him. He's like, oh no, oh man, oh. And then a couple that, oh, then it got so gross to him. I think it's like, oh, no, man. Oh, and then a couple that we were friends with me and Carla brought us to another singer's part. Again, all three times we did nothing. Yeah, but we went and looked around

this and when it was just observing is probably the more fun than participating. Oh, oh, for people like us. Oh my god. You fly on a wall for those of me and you would be great. We should call. We should call a swingers party like a parade. Yeah They're locking out he's just going for it. Look at that. We're like heen and in monsoon He's not even gonna spin on a finger. I told you Jay. I told you she was a selfish lover. I Told you um Where was I so you're talking about the second party where you're, you're, yeah, couple of friends. The third, I guess is the last we went with

them and walked around and it is just, it's when I said the word lifestyle, like when I was at that place, that's what I'm a fuck of the people. This, the attachment to the lifestyle of it, like, yeah, we go out on the boat and like the girls wear skimpy bikinis and kiss a lot and fuckin'. And using the word, do you guys want to play? Yeah. I just can't, it's too, again, it's because I don't take myself seriously. It's too serious.

Yeah, no, exactly. You have to get to seriously do that. It's like, there's like sex and funny. They can mix sometimes, but most of the time, if you're going too far onto one end, like very sexy people can very rarely be funny, if that makes sense. Like hot, hot sexy people are never funny. That's why I've always bombed in Miami, because it's the sexiest city in this fucking, and they're all there like, I don't understand self-hatred

I'm fucking gorgeous like I'm just taking a dancing break right now my boyfriend's gonna eat my pussy and public and people are gonna applaud you know and then there's like all the way on the other guys my bang buses here I gotta go other end is Humor where you're just kind of like all of this is ridiculous. There's been so many times I've been having so fucking ridiculous There's been times I've been I've been having sex and I'm like what do we do? I'm just having sex and I'm like behind and I'm like this is so fucking weird and funny. Oh my god So you're like oh Seriously, you're like oh yeah And you're like, seriously? You're like, oh, yeah.

And then you're like, oh, yeah. So you're a fly on the wall and this couple of friends brings you to the third party. Yeah. And we just walked around. I guess who was there that I thought was interesting. And it was pretty documented on the show. They were swingers. They were.

Look up, Christine. What was the HBO show? I think it was HBO. There was I think there was nudity in it a Reality show about a tow truck company Because one of the owners of tow truck company one of the tow truck company owners and his wife Yeah, who in the TV show had these like big goofy fake tits, but it's one of the against those ladies. It's a South Beach toe. But on the show, they were, they couldn't, they were confirmed lifestyle members.

For sure, and I saw that couple there. And again, it's just that. It's like, she, the people who say lifestyle are sun. Less on toe. No, I don't think so. Someone listen, they'll know. They'll tell us. They'll get to us. I don't think so. Someone listen. I'll know they'll tell us they'll get to us I think it was a towing show, but I really do maybe I'm wrong about that But whatever was about you come in you go snog about 100 these brothers now

But one of the brothers it was him and his wife, but they're always the Tan to the point of like fricacy skin. Yeah, they look like delicious turkey skin. Yeah, dude brined. Yeah Big set of hangers with some brine on it for sure Fuck it. It was the most wonderful time of the year and Yeah, and they're always wearing like they own like time of the year. And they're always wearing like they own like strappy outfits where it's like their tits are out. And it's a bunch of criss-crosses. These things you're like, what are you doing? It's all fifth element costumes. What are you doing? Yeah, it's like, you just look where it goes. Goofy, just say you want to fuck other people, fuck other people.

It doesn't have to be this weird like we're in the zebra print room of that one That was a real that was a real swingers club though the place I went to the First time was the basement of a Fisher I think it was just like if your couples that want to go fuck not at home in front of other people I guess go downstairs No, the second one you watched with the blood on it was an actual swingers club second one was they took over Like I'm telling you, I don't, those Turkish bathhouse, I went on those type of places.

They took over like a spa place. And then had one and then there was all the entire spa was a swingers part. So the third one was a specifically swingers. I felt like there was just a bunch of different rooms and every, it was black like the second you walk in, dark and every room just had different like batting in it and stuff Remember the comedian that Airbnb disapartment and then came back early and they were gang

They were like doing gang bangs and shit and like swinging into it Ari Teaman I think was his name Ari Teaman. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I like shoot air B&B because they like run it out or they like he's like tried to sue the people that did it Swanky because he came back and they were just all banging in his apartment and if that's your apartment If it's your spa that you go to when you show up there you're like, oh man. I can't relax here again Yeah, you're like oh man. There's come everywhere. Yeah, if it's your apartment, that's got to be a big problem Yeah, so.

Party. Like a kind of like a locker room vibe where like some dudes, they just, the strip immediately and the others. Of course. I would never. But they're confident when again, it's mostly older people. So it's what you get is like, I'll say what made me laugh so hard in indicative. That old video of Amy Fisher and her husband fucking, the original of it. It's all that. It's a guy who's

in good shape for his age. Yeah. But confident is all hell, mustaches, hair just comed back. No one's got like a fuck, no one's young and they just sit there and they watch their old wives who work out a ton eat each other's boxes and they gang bang the wives I guess one at a time or so whatever. My point is just the lifestyle is too much of a fucking commitment to anything. I'm like yeah like me and Kristina's the opportunity presents. It's almost like sex comic column like the people that dress up and go to Comic Con and spend like weeks making their Comic Con costume.

That's their lifestyle. If Christine was the fuck guys, that's even a conversation I'll have. What the conversation I won't have is hanging out on a boat with these guys. You know what I'm saying? Like some weird like over extension of like the friendship that goes, oh no, we're all in the lifestyle together.

I'm like, nah, nah, just like. But you can understand people that join it, that get into it because it's like, if you're just boring suburbia and you don't have anything in your life's like just at the gym five days a week. As an old guy, as an old married guy, it's gotta be great to have your wife be that sexed up together. Because somebody's gonna think a woman,

a woman holding it together, older woman, a woman holding it together, older woman, who's holding it together. Women, women, women. Women's women's, we'll pull over, still. That guy will fuck chicks that he normally wouldn't fuck with her helping. Oh yeah. Do you get them saying yeah?

Like so it's good for when the girls all that sexed up at that age. Because he's gonna be like, oh, we're gonna gonna fuck I'm gonna get the fuck so my wife's friends I was talking to recently where they're joking around about if you walk around a grocery store with a pineapple upside down It tells people there's like those signs that they have my other friend moved to a wealthy part of Denver And he said like if you put a flamingo in your front yard I've heard that before to that me have you heard that like the year of Swinger's house Which is funny just to put flamingos and people's front yards that art like I was gonna suburb and just do that on the ship rock

So they're like how about we how about we can move and play Where sons got baseball practice he can't play exactly on. On those ship rock cruises, heavy metal cruises, there was always this guy's photographer, I think. I like him. But he always said there was like a big swingers thing happening on every thing, on every one of them. Was he just trying to manifest it? Yes.

Because he would do a thing where he goes, if you're in, and he'd give out all these bracelets that you can come to like this. By the way, it was just an appart of the boat. It wasn't in a room, it was like in a part of a By the way, it was just an apartment to try to get. It wasn't in a room, it was a part of a boat. I think it was more like to link up there. He was trying to get swingers the way that I get,

I try to get people to come over to watch Royal Rumble. Oh, I got, I got, Slap people to come over to watch Royal Rumble, I just try to come over, bring money, it's pretty nuts. It's pretty good. It's gonna get wild. Things are nuts. Do you like it in wild?

Where was I? You were talking about the photographer on the boat. Oh, he tries to organize it. Yeah. And I was saying with a Christine. So one time it was like, you guys should come to that mean, Christine, of course, like, well, we'll go take a peak for sure. The situation. Can't look. Maybe there'll be a girl there.

There was no girl. It was just the single dudes that he gave, I guess things I remember should remember. I mean, Christine went on the balcony, like there's a look over to that area. To look into the party. You performed in the room before I'm talking about. I know, it's pretty surprising. It's the one that's got the stage and the bar.

Yes, exactly. It's all inside. Yeah, you told me about that. And there's that stairwell on the back. You can go upstairs. Yes. Yeah, I know exactly. So that's stair on the back.

Me and Christine just said, let's go look at what the scene is down there. And we're like, hilarious. And this guy, every time he's like, no, there's a big contingent of people on here, which maybe there is, but I'm like, you are not pulling them together, dude. Yeah, you're not gonna,

you're not gonna piper these people. It's not, I don't, it's not happened at all. I think he's, it's failed every time he's tried. And he got his own wristband set up for it. Jesus. So funny. Oh, a woman. A woman. Jesus. So far, a woman.

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