The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Insecurities (feat. Mike Binder)

Episode Date: October 26, 2020

Jay encountered a familiar personality at his sister’s wedding & Director Mike Binder talks about his new docu-series, “The Comedy Store.” ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central! BAM! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. O. Kerson. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio, Serious XM95, or on demand on the Serious XM app.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM. Hey, it's Black Blue and welcome to the Bond Fire the best of the week. After a week off, the crew was back together and Jay recalled seeing a familiar personality at his little sister's wedding. DJ Lewis, it was lovely. Yeah, so it was lovely. I loved it. It was very South Jersey Philly for sure, but it was sweet. It was really sweet, but a few things going on with the day. I would never do a dance into a room. That would that unpopulated with people I know. But early in the evening back the night before at the rehearsal dinner, I located in five seconds the ham, you know,
Starting point is 00:01:07 the wedding ham, and I, and as a comic, it's just lame to say, and I would never say anything about it in the moment because of that, but, how was that, and the comic, when you locate the ham, you're like, ah, shit, this guy's the ham, and I, and- I think we never talked about the ham and a wedding. Oh man, the ham, what's up, the ham and a lot of situations.
Starting point is 00:01:28 One of the worst hams I've ever seen in my life. You know, fucking slab of ham was that a wedding and it was one of the bridesmaids and I was in the wedding and the bridesmaid was just female ham. Ham bone and dude. I'll tell you what I'm about to play where I hated her where I was the only thing worse than it.
Starting point is 00:01:49 The only thing worse than a ham is a female ham. Dude, a she ham? God, she ham! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude There was no she haired here She haired will drive you nuts all night If for some reason for some reason fucking haters for some reason God is for some reason you don't just feel like there's an un unspoken challenge to your humor
Starting point is 00:02:18 Now it's just all eyebrows. I saw her tricks What it's all dude, she was just all eyebrows. I saw her tricks. I saw her tricks. I'm doing. Hi, I'm DJ Liu and on Monday's quarantine tapes, Jay and Christine give us a peek inside their bedroom. Find out the unsexy things Jay does and why he named it the New York threesome. Enjoy. Christine had a jump back in the game, romp with somebody recently and I was just describing that like well you guys had you guys you guys got your first fucking well you got a quarantine a quarantine three some three some yeah and but like we were just saying I was saying this one whenever it starts any kind of situation like this you assume the women usually kind of start the thing off.
Starting point is 00:03:05 Going on, and I was like, as a dude, there's no way to just feel like you should be where, I'm just dressed how I'm dressed now, but I feel like I should be wearing a smoking jacket. Well, there's no way to have a hairier chest and maybe some silk pajama pants. Because you can all you can do is lay there with, the thing with your elbows down,
Starting point is 00:03:23 your fist on your forehead, and just sitting there like this watching like two girls do thing. Start rubbing back. Just like I said, you're rubbing back. So you're like, is this good? Is this good touch? You just feel like you're checking in on something, you're like, hey, but a very interesting thing also that me and Christina have completely unspoken started doing though is now, like when we used to hook up with people like we'd come and like they came to hook up, we would start
Starting point is 00:03:51 hook it up. Even though I'd still do that like the slow like, that's my own insecurity of want to be like, so new girl, like you want me to be part of those, right? Like, you get those little like feelers that like, you gotta touch and then hold on this. But not because she's gonna go, ew, what's going on? Or it's like, you're making me uncomfortable. It's more like she's just gonna be like,
Starting point is 00:04:11 oh, I kinda just wanted to like hook up with your chick, you could watch, you know what I mean? Like, I'm worried about that being the case, but it's never been the case. They're always like, of course, yeah. But like, it was funny to me, just to be like, how even over, it's like, would it be okay if, would it be okay if, um, would it be okay if I put my hand here?
Starting point is 00:04:28 Would that be nice? Okay. Yeah, you don't really know what to do. Would that, would that feel good? It's like, is it okay if Jay does this? Would you like, would you like that? But what you're describing is hard when you're funny all the time and you make fun of everything to then be seriously like laying on your side, being like, no.
Starting point is 00:04:46 You almost have to separate in a weird way, you have to completely shut off your sense of humor. I wish I could. But you can't. Years ago, but having sex and then like caught the way I'm like, and I'm like, start laughing and you're like, how are you sitting like this? Dude, I stopped myself from being too funny in situations like that, but it really is like I could stop myself being funny, but I cannot make myself go. Yeah, there. There you go
Starting point is 00:05:13 You can't there you go. Oh wow. Oh that look I would have automatically assumed that you would do that No, no, I feel I do his lamp with the idea of that where I go Christine look at this doesn't so I honestly thought you thought you guys I assumed you guys talk like that No, it's just all kiss or something We're not real Talkers with But then that did just like yeah, look at that. Do you like that? We talk more just mean you like when you go Christine left side six o'clock What do you guys got what do you got a bogey?
Starting point is 00:05:50 Yeah, we guys have waiter speaking behind Corner corner check the corner. I'm gonna get blunt when it's just us when we talk the dirty talks like this space when we're having a Threesome like it's spicy sure, you know sure talks like this space when we're having a threesome like it's spacey. Sure, you know, sure, but you can't let out one like, my guard. Yeah, I couldn't lower my guard with the third person with any good. You'd have to be very comfortable with the third person. Later. Yeah. Oh, even people we got super comfortable with like
Starting point is 00:06:18 people we had that we were hooking up with regularly at times. I never had that like comfort of the speed that even comforts the wrong word. I would just feel ridiculous all of a sudden being the person like who was being funny five minutes ago and we were here in the living room and then being in there and being like, it's nice.
Starting point is 00:06:35 We should get down there and do that. Yeah, see, I think you could do that. I think you could do that. You think I'm swanky? I think you're swanky like that. I think you guys, I automatically assumed you guys were doing a lot of teeth breathing Oh Put on put on some rosé. Let's just be on me throbbing. Oh God my humidifier is on I
Starting point is 00:07:01 You'll get you'll get the basic like, oh, but you're definitely not going to get like the that's right. Well, I think that's a there's a spec. Let me take a look at that. Let me take a look at that. Well, that's there's a spectrum of that of moaning to being a full on Randy Randy West. We were just like, no, look at the way that pussy is, man. Where do you slip from a moan of just being like, oh, to being like, oh, fuck yes. I don't know, how do you get to that?
Starting point is 00:07:37 Because that fucking- I don't even know. If you have to laugh yourself, but you could be like, oh, I think I talk more, my dirty talk in that situation would be more like, oh, okay. Yeah, the only thing, oh this is, I try to do normal voice. I have to do voices. That's the only way I can stay comfortable.
Starting point is 00:07:56 I go, whoa, you're good in this car. Rock, rock, go. No, I say normal voice. I say normal voice. I can be like not like a sultry voice. I do normal voice. That's what I was going to say. I was going to suck. Like not like a sultry voice. I do normal voice, more like blown away by the situation. Talk is the things I'll do. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:08:13 I'm good at that. Wow, wow, this is crazy. Like no, like if I'm getting my dick sucked and it's like, you know what I mean, even when it's bad, I would still say this, but like when they changed from that to do something else, I'll be like, holy shit. I mean, even it's bad. I was still saying this, but like when they're, when they changed from that to do something else, I'll be like, holy shit. Holy shit, that felt good. That was great.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Yeah, dude, that was great. And then you know, then you switch positions. You're a positive coach. Yeah, but it's definitely, but it's definitely not like, oh, baby. Oh, yeah. That's what I mean. That's a lot of work.
Starting point is 00:08:41 I'd never, never. I would love to go who hits the red. I want to know who hits the red like that because that seems to be I feel like DJ Lou is a completely silent just Sashine you know that's that fun of thing where it's like the pecking chicken and when you where Homer when you started Never stops is that what Homer used when he worked at home when he got fat perpetual motion. Yeah As I feel like Lou just go fault. I feel like Jacob's a moner. He's like, oh, he doesn't talk. No, no, no, no. An appropriate
Starting point is 00:09:13 moner. Do you think he makes a I wonder if I am a Christine might be the answer this. Am I a murmur while I'm making out? No, you don't. I'm that when I'm anxious. Am I a m-m-mer while I'm making out? No, you don't. I'm that when I'm getting blown. I'm a m-m-mer when I'm getting blown. You're just saying that. I'm saying, I'm saying, within the make out, we're just like, mmm. Oh, I've m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m It's that I'm gonna try that one when I go home tonight. I'm a grab-cating go
Starting point is 00:09:56 But they have a question you asked not too long ago For other people have you to been with a girl that's too loud or too like? Oh my god, yes my fucking pussy is so fucking so gay. What? We've definitely been with girls where I thought they were that it was a little put on, not that I didn't think that they weren't enjoying themselves just that they were like, you know, it was it just seemed a little unnatural but nothing we've never had girls come in and like take control and like talk shit I think that would be a wrecked wrecked shop because it's almost it's like when we bring girls into fight It's like they're coming into our sexual relationship
Starting point is 00:10:33 So it we kind of do lead the vibe on it. It's good for a second by the way if they're we have had girls come in and be a little like Like you know, it's like sex time thing that like the vibe is supposed to change and it is supposed to. I just can't. So I can't be party to that part. Like when the girl does the whole like take her stuff off and like take her stuff off and then do like a crazy, like, sultry look at Christine and go in for a make out.
Starting point is 00:11:00 Like they gotta do that. Like it's not gonna be, if Christine's watching particularly, I'm like, if some girl, like two lovers stuff and was like, get over here, I'd be like, all right, lioness, this is girl's deal. Oh, there you go. I'm gonna shut all the way to bed. I feel like, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:11:16 No, you feel like what? I just, it's so weird. I say that about myself to, where I'm like, we're not timid once we're in it. Like with each other or with the girls. It's like once we're in it, with each other or with the girls. Once we're in it, we're in it, but both of us, it's just that switch to... We are just laughing all the time. It's hard to be seriously sexy as a lead-up when you're not already in it.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Also who we are, it's like... You don't want to become a parody of yourself sexually. Those people in Scottsdale that are just all tan and they're like you're like my wife's breasts and plump fat and delicious. That's a term. I can try them. Yeah, you like dude. There's a you could do that kind of stuff without being that guy.
Starting point is 00:11:57 It's just like people that get super into that. You can do that stuff without being that guy. But I feel like those are the guys. A lot of swingers party guy. But I feel like those are the guys that do the talking that you're talking about We're doing like yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, is that my to my a gold chain a must Balding but fat and confident in some way like royd muscles for older Not even that just like guys have like not good bodies, but they're just confident
Starting point is 00:12:22 They always work a bathing suit in a robe. Golden Lee Chris. I'm like, welcome, they have money maybe. Who's gonna be able to do it? But I don't know, it's like, yeah, it's not my, though, in fact, we're so cheese dick about it, like the terms we even use, like it's like, it's a constant, especially with somebody brand new.
Starting point is 00:12:41 It's a constant, like, thing about making out, like her and Christine making out. So it's like, hey, I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette. Don't you guys start making out while I'm gone. And then I'll come back in and I'll once again drop like a little, I'll go, oh, it goes there. So I didn't hear you guys voice. I thought you were making out. I was like, oh man, these go start making out without me. You just say you guys didn't start making out though. As you make out. That's what I do with my little one. I try to go, I go potty.
Starting point is 00:13:04 You want to go potty? Yeah, we're on try to go I go potty. You want to go potty? Yeah, we're on a walk you go potty. You'd be pretty cool if you were potty. That's what was funny was the the latest girl I can say this part, nothing wrong. I went something about making out I go because she doesn't want to make out I guess like oh yeah that's cool. You're starting to making out and the girl finally just goes why do you keep saying I don't want to make out I go Well, it's because you're not making out. Do you want to make out? That's so funny that you just keep repeating that. Me and me, you talked about Dan Sodor awkward starter.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I'm an awkward starter. You're an awkward starter. It's a conversation. Me and Christine are terrible, terrible starters. Yeah. On how to get into it? We know how. I think it's like I have to start making out with the girl How to get into it? We know how. I think it's like I have to start making out with the girl and to get to the point where that's okay, and I'm comfortable with no alcohol mind you,
Starting point is 00:13:53 like just on my own. It's like, you know, you're really putting yourself out there. Sober that's gotta be fucking crazy. And I will wait, and by the way, Christine is right, like she's putting the thing out there for sure, like the could get the head turn away or there's no chemistry and making out kind of thing, for sure, but I promise you,
Starting point is 00:14:12 when she'll agree with this, I'm wearing her tension as well. I have just as much as like, well that's happening, I'm doing like, this girl gonna be like, I think I should probably go. It's interesting. It's interesting to hear how you guys run your system.
Starting point is 00:14:25 You know, like a football program, it makes you guys draft someone new. They learn the terminology, a lot of make out. Hey, big, it's not a thin playbook. Just a couple of place, a couple sheets of plays. It's just hard to know, and especially just with us and girls that come around, and then, you know, even with the me-to movement where you're like,
Starting point is 00:14:43 okay, if there's a girl coming in, I'm like, is she here because she wants to produce is she here because she wants to do comedy is she here because she just wants to hang out with us and she thinks this is the only way we'll give her time a day. And I'm like, I never want to take advantage of that. Somebody wants to hang out, hang out, but it's like,
Starting point is 00:14:58 yeah, I also might not have you at my house if you're not here to fuck. Like, I'm not my friend, dude. You're in the dojo, you better get ready for some kicks. I got to say something like this. I just know that when me and Christine on like, that I'd worry about like fucking me too shit at all, I'm saying more just like, we're just like not,
Starting point is 00:15:15 like here's things that we're not good at finding out because the conversation doesn't tend to go this far and no with things, but like, things with three sums that are interesting that you can't find out sort of until it's happening is Is the girl into girls and it turns out there's 11 different levels of that? It's like is she in the girls like there's girls who are into girls and want to eat pussy and get their pussy And into a full-blown sex session with the girl. There's other girls who are like, I'll let a girl eat my pussy,
Starting point is 00:15:47 but I won't eat pussy or something. I guess some girls don't, you know, fingers. It's like the ass fingers, not a thing. It's like the ass come out word for snow. There's like 40 different versions. We're like, you can eat different things. Two guy one girl's reasons. It's like, hey, I'm not gonna touch him.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Or they're like, I'll blow him. Like, well, that's like, there's two things. Two guy one girl's reasons, it's like, hey, I'm not gonna touch him, or they're like, I'll blow him. And you're like, well, that's like, there's two speeds. Two speeds. I'm not touching him, or like, hey, yeah, I'm done by. The women are like, well, here's what I could do. I could look at her pussy, while you fuck me, kissing your ear.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Well, the reason that I'm not okay with a breast touch. Well, you're right, because there's, my guess would be millions of women who have made out with girls multiple times who have never even considered or done anything slightly lesbian or something. How does the girl in college just like, yeah, I make out with my friends on a board. Like just when you're bored, you're so saying like, that's awesome. Because I was no one's attention.
Starting point is 00:16:42 I was no one's attention moving any further. That's what I was saying. So I's doing that you know girl I fucking made out with Lewis We were just like it was I mean we were all over I'd be weird More likely to blow each other than just make out What's up? I'm a suck on Dan's neck. Yeah, I go. Oh, dude. I don't know. I think we get out of here What are we wrong? Dude you have blue Joe
Starting point is 00:17:09 Dude, do you really want me to leave? Hey guys, Joe, listen guys. Hey remember that fucking awkward triple kiss that you had with me in Norman But you're right women do have a thing where a lot of women have kissed other women and they'd be like, I'm totally straight. I have none of that. We've had girls just dive in, Christine's buys actual, she'll just hook up with a girl like they're lesbians when they're having sex. But some girls won't like, don't eat pussy. I have to like read it. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:44 You should have a term for it. You like do you go, you full go? You just go, what's up? You full go? We ready to go, we're going to third. I think there is names for it. I just don't know what they are. Yeah, probably.
Starting point is 00:17:55 Well, one of them's pillow princess, not quite sure what it means. pillow princess means that you'll let a girl go down on you, but you won't go down on a girl. Nice, I'm a pillow princess. That's gonna, I eat pussy. I also kind of, yeah, I think also a girl go down on you, but you won't go down on a girl. Nice. I'm a pillow princess. How's it going? I eat puss. I also kind of, yeah, I think also a girl's like if I see like they're not really going
Starting point is 00:18:11 for my pussy, I'm like, I'll kind of stay away from theirs and like, really? I want to stand off. A little Mexican standoff. That's why I got to work. Did I got to fucking work two hands? Yeah, you know, then you're playing two keyboards? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:22 I'm doing the fucking, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I just like, how on a porn? You're playing the two keyboards? Yeah. Yeah. Deng, deng, deng, deng, deng, deng, deng, deng, deng. I'm doing the fucking, like the ju-ste-jang. Yeah. I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn, I guess I didn, I guess I didn, I guess I didn, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I didn't, I guess I get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get And then the first one. Because there's not a worse feeling than thinking you're gonna fuck someone. And I mean, I was the king in high school of leaning in for a kiss and they're like,
Starting point is 00:19:06 I don't like you like that. And you're like, yeah, fuck you. Right? So you know, Christina say after a threesome usually too, and I do tend to kind of like, when you guys do a cleanup, I get right off the bed and put like my underwear back on.
Starting point is 00:19:19 The first thing I'll do always is a scooch. No, I get off the bed primarily for the reason that if I don't get off the bed right away from like being on my knees, I'm gonna have to scooch. Don't wanna scooch. Can't scooch in front of a, I can't scooch in front of a company. Christine sees me scooch enough and it's not good.
Starting point is 00:19:39 That's so funny, you're just like, I gotta tell you, but if you did talk like that and you go, oh, did you enjoy that lover? And you go, oh yes, we all came together. All right, I'm gonna go get a nice tea. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, The workers see in Christina's hey, so these are great quotes from Christine and three sims with me. Jay take your sweatshirt off That's a good one Which is like rocking a full hoodie with no pants Like in back with a hoodie like I'm naked with a girl in jason bed with a hoodie I'm like what the fuck are you doing like we help out? Sitting in my sexy pose to get your like, get up to get your thing off. Like, we're not fucking you in the...
Starting point is 00:20:26 Buddy, when it starts... When you're not gripping on this fucking threesome. Buddy, when it starts on the couch, you would have... If you could have a camera, fixated completely on me. While they're figuring out on the couch, like before they're gonna go, all right, we should get to the bedroom. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:20:40 This is unfolding. I've... Do things I do, like, I've got to mill around. I think I've said this before, but it's like, I've gone and got nice tea, felt the ice trace, while there's like, right here, and then I just sat back down there and just like, we just did a city, we're like,
Starting point is 00:20:57 Wait, he doesn't do it, it's not like putting on, I'm not like, I'm sitting here making out with a girl and it's not like, you're more like milley trying to figure out how it's gonna work Then like because you're old so let's be in sex guy. What are you gonna double Dutch? What do you mean what what what what are you assuming? I'm doing because that's the thing it's like what you were saying where you would expect that Jay sitting there going like yeah Like that at all that would be fucking weird man
Starting point is 00:21:23 That's what I mean like yeah or yeah. Or like getting them, you know, like, put this dick, well, we're making out. Totally. I almost do my pants exactly who I would be in that. I mean, my picture in my head is this poor girl, a guest in our house, as her and Christina are making out, and then she has to look over Christine's shoulders. And all of a sudden, the first thing she finds
Starting point is 00:21:41 that I'm even in being involved is doing this. Yeah, but why not? I think that's crazy. Just making that face like a slut is doing this. Yeah, but why not? I think that's amazing. Just making a face like a flood. Just go on. Yeah, but I'm going to bite your face like a psycho. Hey, can we? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Dude, I had no idea this entire time that we've been doing this show five years that you guys have been very open for five long years. You have been very open about your sex life in this entire time. I had no clue that Jay was having insecure threesomes. Or you're just like, you're just like, well, I don't know, I'll go do stuff. You're like, do it a puzzle in your kitchen.
Starting point is 00:22:16 You're like, doing stuff that like. And so, but we get to the bedroom. I honestly, first of all, we get to the bedroom. Here's another funny thing. It's really, it's great going on. Well, I go to the big, it's like, the girls are already falling into the bedroom of all, here's another funny thing. It's really, it's great going on. While I go to the big, it's like, the girls are already falling into the bedroom of like, and then taking off clothes and she's like,
Starting point is 00:22:29 and then, you know what he is the funniest image. And I'm just like this. And then I have to go, and then I have to go there, and then I take off the deck with pillows off the bed. And I put the cakey-cold off to the side, no come on that. And then, and then set the pillows, the ones that are normal pillows, set them upright, and then I lay on and we have to get, we need a picture in the pose in the room
Starting point is 00:22:54 and what I'm talking about before we leave it on. You rubbing backs just be it on your side is so. I'm gonna get in my pose on the bed so you can see the pose, but it's got, number one, it makes me realize how much of a dirty creep I am, but number two makes me realize like how adorable your threesome's are when I thought there was something else. Well, you know, I'm time to tell you that's what's interesting.
Starting point is 00:23:12 I never understood and Christine was just a lot of campers right now. We're blown away. Christine was just getting what was just scared because of the times that it was and like, you know, a bunch of comics talking about stuff and Christine goes, you know, I worry like, what if anybody ever comes back and tries to say Like a false allegation about us and I go I couldn't even imagine what they would possibly say Other than like well at one point I was starting to wonder if they were ever gonna try to fucking because they invited me over at noon Or and then or no they invited me over at midnight and like at 4 in the morning We were like watching American dad episodes. They were telling me their favorite things. And I mean, the guy kept making these weird make out suggestions.
Starting point is 00:23:48 I didn't fully understand the thought that you are showing a woman. You're both trying to double team a butter Scotch swirl video to 45 in the morning. That's exactly kind of things. Dan, Dan, let me tell you something. I am, we can tell you how much this is warming my heart. We can't fucking, and also making me be like, man, I'm a piece of shit. We can, we can, we can a fuck this chick the other night. An hour and a half before we did.
Starting point is 00:24:14 Yeah. An hour and a half. You guys order food, you guys go over like, you design a crystal. No, but I, now just several times how I was stopping myself from showing her my stand-up comedy So she would also believe that I was somebody important. It was Retarded. Yeah, yeah, it's better. We're not good, but
Starting point is 00:24:34 We're good at fucking I should not be not my stately. Yeah, but you guys were I would compare you guys to the 90s jazz You're like stocked in the alone. You're not a lot of flash, but you actually sit down and watch a game fucking impressive. Oh, he was in some flash There's definitely some flash The no look pass like you wouldn't believe yeah in the mail me like that Kobe Kobe and Shaq in their prime is like Who would be like? Blake livelylet Joe Blake lively and Ryan? We're not we're not for it. Yeah, we're not bringing a Vagara and Joe mango long log. We're not bringing a huge cock or huge
Starting point is 00:25:12 Tits to the table so that's you taking that off to play right away. Here's what we bring Pizzas enthusiasm enthusiasm. Did you guys know I think we both have decent faces? You guys are like the Princeton basketball team You pass five times in shoot have decent faces. You guys are like the Princeton basketball team. You pass five times in shoot. I think I think I think no one's going to say that we're I mean, I think Christine I'm very tracked Christine. But I'm saying like I'm I don't think anybody would ever I would never assume that would come over and be like I would have done this but Christine's ugly. I think I would never think that. So it's like if I could put you guys somewhere geographically on the threesome map of the United States. I would say you guys are a nice you're a safe
Starting point is 00:25:46 Montana threesome, you know, you're just a loving couple in a cabin with soft blankets. You're not a Miami Double team. You're not a fucking now. We're somewhere between you. I'm telling you we're in New York threesome Yeah, we get that we throw it down. We're pretty It's uh, I'm telling you, what? Once we're in it, we're in it. There's no shining us in the back. Once we fuck, we fuck. It's like, yeah, and then it's gonna be,
Starting point is 00:26:09 it can go, it can go for mile two wide. Oh, everyone. That was the most embarrassing thing that I was ever said to me is I started going down on a girl and she was like, come down frat boy. And I was like, do you remember that? I remember who it was. I do remember that I can't remember who.
Starting point is 00:26:26 My bad. Well, I don't want to lick your lamb now. Hey, you can't miss it's Black Lou again. Director Mike Fender joined this show to talk about his new DocuSeries on the world famous comedy store, NLA. What's also, some of this time, though, was the people went very quickly
Starting point is 00:26:41 from club comic to stadium comic. You had your dice and kinesen where it was like, as soon as people knew who they were, I mean, I remember I was young, but even my stepfather and his friends, and then my friends I got older, like those tapes, those VHSs got passed around. I was like, have you seen the same kid?
Starting point is 00:26:59 And everyone just sort of found out who they were, you know, almost like jerky boy style, like it circulates underground. Like the tape we had of Dice Man cometh, the meme I stepfather watched was given to him by his friend, then ultimately is someone of my friends or his parents something took it, you know, absolutely, absolutely. And it gets stadium acts. Like so quick, you just need that one little push like the Rodney Danger Field Young Committee in special would put you if you put it. Well, I have to say it might have felt quick to you guys, but it wasn't quick. You know, I mean, look, you know, does it feel like Bill Burr went from big to selling
Starting point is 00:27:44 out medicines where gardens really quick, or does it feel like a deal? No, because I do, yeah, but again, that's the, I have the benefit in that situation of like, I remember doing empty shows at Caroline's on a Wednesday with Bill Burr. So I do remember that person, no, I know,
Starting point is 00:28:02 I know it was still, but it was definitely in there Like I think right with with kinesan and it was in there 10 their first 10-year run Like when they got that kind of big and then they were and then they were big for quite some time Yeah, but I'm just saying it It didn't it happened over I would say, because I remember both of those guys, when it happened, it happened. It took several years for that kind of thing to happen where all of a sudden they were playing medicine square guard from the time they started getting up. Who was the fastest?
Starting point is 00:28:41 Was it DICE that rose the fastest? Yeah, I would say yeah dice became Just kind of a sensation, but you were right both of them were the thing that really kicked it off was that those danger field specials Yeah, did they when did you when when you talked to Andrew dice Clay for this documentary? Did he? Reveal anything that you didn't expect him? Like, were there stories that you didn't expect to hear that you're like, oh, shit, I didn't even know that happened. Did you welcome down with 250? Did you fuck Jack up there? Did the dead Mrs. Rover Over to go over. Yes. Yes. I did not know he was Japanese
Starting point is 00:29:30 He's big reveal my name is Dicey Sun No, I there wasn't a lot he happened to be a guy that I knew really well Okay, yeah, I was wondering if there's anything like with someone you knew you know what I mean Like sometimes you sit down for an interview and they tell a story and you're like I've known you for fuck it 30 years I didn't know that happened. Well the funny thing about dice was I was there right in the middle of all that for dice I was I had been making a movie called Cook the Village is my first movie with Joe Raw, who became the head of 20th Century Fox, and they filmed this big dice concert at Madison Square Gardens. There wasn't a full thing, and they wanted to okay, I want Mike to do to write it and direct it. And so likeice World came crashing down on him, where he was making
Starting point is 00:30:50 all these gay jokes and the Game Mafia brought him down, and I was there with him at that Saturday Night Live when Nora Dunn walked off and Cineto Conner wouldn't go on with him and you know so he was telling me. Oh the movie has been made yet? Did he already have Ford Farrell? Ford Farrell was done and it was coming out but they threw it away. Oh shit for that. Yeah he got shit for that too. They threw it away and they got rid of all the, he had all these other movies set to launch and start with him and Darrell, one with him and Darrell Hannah called the Gossip Columnist or the columnist or something.
Starting point is 00:31:30 And he just basically, they went, they got to get in and bury Dillard and all these people and they shut him, his career down. They basically built cancel culture on Dice's back. They, they, they tested it out on his back, you know? And he was telling me stories that's like, I know I was with you there. I was in the car with you that day. Oh, fuck it, for God, you know?
Starting point is 00:31:56 Yeah, that's gonna be crazy. Or he's like, you know, I'm riding down there and this guy's next to me. It's like, that was me. I was there. Right there. That's so fucking fun. Yeah. right there that's so fucking fun yeah yeah that's gonna that's gonna be an insane thing to witness watching someone that you get
Starting point is 00:32:10 hired to film this wrap around film for and then you see it all come down yeah it's big jail grison and I hope you enjoyed this week's best of the bonfire you can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6 p.mpm Eastern on Comedy Central Radio Series XM95 or on demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bonfire at SexM. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING podcast.

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