The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jacob Loves Guys

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

Jacob gets really attached to the funny men that have visited The Bonfire over the years. Maybe a little too attached. Based on that premise, Bobby wrote a sitcom called "Jacob Loves Guys" and the gang performs his script. Jay takes away a fun sound effect from the winners of "Story Wars." Rosie O'Donnell gets political on an Irish talk show and Megyn Kelly does not easy on her. *JOIN US FOR A SPECIAL TAPING OF THE BONFIRE LIVE FROM NASHVILLE ON TUESDAY APRIL 8TH! IF YOU’LL BE IN THE NASHVILLE AREA ON APRIL 8TH, VISIT SIRIUSXM DOT COM SLASH THE BONFIRE NASHVILLE BEFORE 5 PM EASTERN ON APRIL 4TH FOR YOUR CHANCE TO ATTEND.  NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. MUST BE A RESIDENT OF THE CONTINENTAL U.S. AND AT LEAST 18 TO WIN.   VISIT SIRIUSXM.COM/BONFIRENASHVILLE *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly, you know you left and I Miss you man. I you know, I love doing the show at you. I really do when you leave it's fun We can pull it. I was fun. It's you know, sure Tim was great I loved him, but just you know, one of the things is just you're here, but we also I know that you when you're here I Didn't understand what happened to this crew when you leave, I would say. Especially not, I wouldn't say Lou. We got to see together what happened when Dan left.

When Dan left, yeah. When Dan left, we got to see there was a minor mutiny. There was tension in the room for months and months, close to a year. But I feel like Lou and Lou have come around like hey man, this is it, we're together. We're on the team. The team Bobby.

And now I felt like everybody was that way until. I certainly am, Christine seems to be. Yeah, and I found out that there was one person in the room that's really not. Who, who, Christine? What are you, an owl? Christine. Who, who, who? What are you, owl Christine who who who what do you

fuck it out me huh it's not no Christine is fucking love Christine yeah well assumed you were going to her next now yeah well I mean and this isn't because you hate Japanese people I love Japanese Japanese people. I've been to Japan I'm the only one in the room that's been to Japan. I didn't question that and Mommy, let me tell you something Jacob Fucking snapped yeah, yeah, you broke him I Just didn't realize it, but then he snapped no he snapped man like he he really really loves Tim and I loved him. We all loved him sure, but he

Loves Tim to where it's a uncomfortable It's an uncomfortable like when Jacob loves he loves hard. He loves hard, but I didn't understand how much he loves You know what I mean his man crushes or something else It's nuts and I you know I talked to you over the weekend I was explaining it to you like I just came out of the blue and he threatened me you were a little shocked He threatened me. Yeah. Yeah, because you know it's usually like this Jacob like you know little hey I went to the thing and this happened, and I'm afraid of rats and it's cold well Papa's home. Yeah, and

and Yeah and and he... I'm not afraid of rats anymore. Well he snapped... I think he literally said to me at one point Why don't you go with your Paul Verzi and your best friend Mike Caldy your Florida buddy? God damn. In that tone. Fucking pussy. Yep. Yeah. He certainly doesn't respect those friends But I talk... Which I respect Jacob. I respect your lack of respect for Bobby's friends. Well, I tried to Throw me on their bus on the air. I got a hit back I I just didn't realize that what you would in Jay we talked about with Jay that this isn't just Tim butler. This is Shane this is Dan. Yeah And this is this is a thing. You know, I didn't know I was standing I was stepping on the landmine

And this is a thing. He loves man. I didn't know I was stepping on a landmine because what you told me is Jacob. You wanted one of his guys. You wanted me to just sit here and take it. That's what he wanted. That's what he's telling you right now. No, no, no.

You'd like to take it. He thought you would find more humor in it, but it's hitting you on a real soul level because it's these guys that you have unnatural love for. Yeah, I didn't know Jacob likes guys I'd argue Jacob loves guys. I think Jacob loves guys I think Jacob loves guy and I didn't know that Jacob loves guys

He watches YouTube's of guys guys gets obsessed with guys that are in here guys guys guys And he loves Dan and he left him Shane Shane Skyrocketed by moose and now Tim Butterly and I didn't understand that he loves guys so much Did you guys did he have the bad news? Does he know what Tim butter? He's doing? Yeah, he announced it Yeah, sit on the air. He's going he's going Austin's making the Austin, but you know what right where Jacob's favorite boot store is I ain't going there. I don't like it that much Austin's but here's what right where Jacob's favorite boot store is ain't going there I don't like it that much Austin's but here's Jay. Here's the thing about it homeless We it reminded me of some type of almost like a TV show. Mm-hmm back in the day we could pitch this

Jacob loves guys Jacob loves guys 1987 early 90s Absolutely, and oh maybe we get a young Gina Davis. Yeah. No Jacob you can't jack off guys on a TV show you fucking weirdo. But when we come back we actually wrote a sitcom called Jacob loves guys and we'll be performing this when we come back, an episode, a scene from the hit sitcom on NBC. What do they call this thing?

This is our... This is our pilot. Yeah, pilot pitch. Sizzle, pitch. Sizzle, pitch pilot. You want to see if it gets picked up. It's a sizzle. Then it goes to series.

It's a sizzle, yeah, yeah, yeah. So stay tuned everybody. We're going to be performing the hit show that's coming to NBC, 8 o'clock on Thursdays, Jacob Loves Guys. Jacob Loves Guys. Jacob Loves Guys. Jacob Loves Guys. Jacob Loves Guys. Jacob Loves Guys. Jacob Loves Guys. Jacob Loves Guys. Yeah, sizzle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so stay tuned everybody. We're gonna be performing the hit show That's coming to NBC eight o'clock on Thursdays Jacob loves guys In case you're wondering though them Robert Kelly's gonna be his aunties in Nashville Wednesday, April 9th, that's next Wednesday at the Comedy Mothership

in Austin April 18th and 19th for tickets and all tour dates visit punch up dot live slash 19th for tickets and all tour dates visit punchup.live slash Robert Kelly and Bobby special live in the village underground premiering on punch up that live this Friday April 4th at 8 p.m. Eastern very exciting Yeah, you go down and get the app download the app for your phone. It's free. It's for consumers now It's for you guys download the app and you can watch all the specials all the clips right on your phone Or you can cast it as Christine taught me right to your TV from the app from your phone this Friday night live from the Village Underground will be premiering right there on Punch-Up and Big Jay is going to be in Nashville the Comedy Festival April 6th through the 9th, Helium Atlanta April 10th through the 12th and after that he's

gonna be in Austin, Tulsa, Denver for tickets and all the tour dates. BigJComedy.com and don't forget his new special, They is premiering on 420 but Them is out right now on YouTube.com slash Big at BigJOkerson. You hear that here, you heard it once on Rogan, three hours, didn't mention it, just one time right at the end. So we'll mention it right here. Terrible promotion. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad.

And Bobby, every Tuesday night, 7pm, Fat Black Pussycat Lounge, the comedy seller. Yeah. So check it out. Go download that PunchUp.live app. It's for you guys. Watch all that comedy this Friday night. We'll be right back. It's the bonfire.

And Lou, I'm going to have you play this song when we come back in. Wait. No. Baby girl, I'll do the birthday with a quick nut. song when we come back in? wait nooo baby girl with a quick nut cause you're the one and you shouldn't be mad

i won't tell your mama if you don't tell your dad i know he'll be disgusted when he sees your pussy busted won't your mama be so mad and she knows i got that ass i I'm a freakin' heat A dog with that warning, my appetite is sex cause me so horny Let me see if I remember the last one too

Ah, suck it to me I love them, what great usage A full metal jacket. Isn't that funny? Full metal jacket. Desperate Ethan call me perverted, but you'll say I'm a dog when I leave you fucked and deserted. I'll play with your heart just like it's a game.

I'll be blowing your mind while you're blowing my brain. I'm just like that man they call Georgie pudding pie I fuck all the girls and I make them cry oh and the two life free rules I want you to play it so much to me while you're blowing me in Nashville blow hot me oh so hot me damn I can't believe I have to finish you.

It's not gonna take a lot, trust me. Well, this is my one guy's opinion. There's episodes coming out, it's in history, if you had to say it three times or not. Buddy, it's, I mean, you said, we're gonna go to this guy, we went to the guy. I mean, you kids can take the hit. If the guy's wrong, though, history means nothing.

So what? You're gonna blow me. It's a big deal. We're still gonna have fun. Or maybe you blow me or maybe no one blows anybody. We're still, whatever. We're gonna have fun. I mean, we are gonna have fun.

It's gonna be a fun time. We're gonna go negative, dude. Punch up. Apologies. Suck up. Don't suck down. Glass half, what? Glass half full in your eye.

Cock half, cock, mouth half full of cock? So I didn't understand this weekend that you told me that Jacob likes guys. And I didn't understand his deep. Jacob loves guys. Jacob loves guys, that's right. Jacob loves guys. I love them. I didn't understand it.

It was like, it all started tumbling into making sense to me when you were like, hey Bear, you actually stopped me and go, hey dude, Jacob loves guys. Jacob loves guys. Can I say, you got me with the 70s open. Wait to hear the theme song. We spent a little time on this.

It's very all in the family. The little teaser there, I liked it. So we have a sitcom that we wrote. With no further ado. Without further ado, starring Big Jay Okusen as Tim Butterly. And Jacob playing Jacob himself. The role of Jacob.

We have the narrator, Black Lou. And of course DJ Lou is on the laugh track because that's what we did. No, no, it's the Life Studio audience. Life Studio audience is here right now. You ever explain it? it wasn't in the meeting this morning. No it was no no that wouldn't work It was in the secret side meeting we were having all weekend. Yes. It's the no Jacob thread. Yeah Here we go He's looking angry ah he's feeling shy, and we know why, we know why.

Jacob loves guys, Jacob loves guys. His ass cheeks. Yeah! Oh yes, yes, yes, yes! I love it when a guy compliments my vibe. Jacob loves guys. Alright. Interior Comedy Club Green Room.

Night. Queens. New York City. The show just ended. The green room is mostly empty except for Jacob. Slouched on the couch. Arms crossed. looking like someone just stole his favorite action figure. Tim walks in, sipping from a bottle of water.

What's with the face, Jacob? You look like someone just told you Die Hard's not a Christmas movie. You really leaving? Yeah, man. I told you last week I'm moving to Austin. Got that writing gig, remember? Yeah, but I didn't think you'd actually do it. And Die Hard is absolutely a Christmas movie. What? You thought I was gonna stay here forever just to watch you cry when the diner runs out of fries? No! I just thought, I don't know, that maybe you'd change your mind or the universe would stop you or Or like your car would explode. Yo, you wanted my car to explode Not would you in it Okay, relax

Jesus look I get it when Dan and left, you were the same way. I was not! You just emotionally collapsed in a Wendy's parking lot and tried to fight a trash can. Yeah, that sounds like me. Point is, it sucked. You got over it and hey, you made new friends, like Bobby, and you still have Jay. I don't want new friends. I hate people. And Jay is slowly transitioning into a middle-aged lesbian. I like Bobby, but Bobby is not Dan. You're the only...

You're one of the only people I don't want to throw punch on sight. Aw, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Don't make this sentimental, man. I'm just saying, maybe there's more to this, like maybe you have feelings. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Strong feelings. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Maybe, just maybe. You might like guys. No, I don't. Hey, no judgment. No! I don't. Hey! No judgment. It's 2025, man. You can cry over your boy leaving and still be straight. Or at least buy Curious. I'm not buying Curious, I'm just... Friends sad. There's a difference.

Okay, okay. Friends sad. Got it. Double-sided. Stay in character. I just don't want you to go. Who's gonna make fun of my outfits or finish my fries when I pretend I'm on a diet? You mean when you say you're on a diet with a cheeseburger in your mouth? Yes, that's our thing. We'll still talk man call text FaceTime I Don't want digital Tim I want real life Tim I want

Wednesday night wingman Tim I want actually accidentally brought the same shoes Tim You're literally crying like a five-year-old whose balloon floated away. I miss you and you're not even gone yet. Okay now I kind of believe you're straight this is way too dramatic to be romantic. I'm straight Tim I just have, I just have a lot of feelings and I don't know what to do with them. Dude I love you too. Don't say that unless you mean it. I mean it man. Can I have a juice box?

What? I don't know it just feels like a juice box. What? I don't know, it just feels like a juice box moment. I'll get you a juice box, buddy. Thanks. Tim makes his way to the juice box, Jacob curls up on the couch like a heartbroken toddler. I'm not gay, I'm just emotionally attached to a guy who smells like cedar wood and always carries gum. Totally straight. He's looking angry, he's feeling shy, and we know why, we know why, Jacob loves guys, Jacob loves guys.

Those ass cheeks. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes! Jacob loves guys! On next week's episode, Bobby and Jay tell the world Jacob's secret that Jacob likes guys. Does Jacob jump out of the windows of Sirius XM? Or does he confront his demon? Find out Thursday night at 8, only on NBC.

That was great, Bobby. I mean, Jay, what a Tim Butterly, dude. He's a good sight reader. I'm a terrible I feel like I didn't do your words justice and you're this was a good script Bobby. When we do episodes of Jacob Loves Guys get loose with the laughs and the awes. Yeah. Nonstop. Well I gotta say too you gotta wait for the laughs guys one thing comedians don't do is wait for the laughs. Say the line, let the laughs happen. As they're dying. Okay, I see what happened there.

Yeah. You were doing like, you were addressing everybody, but you stared directly at Jacobs. I was gonna interrupt you by saying like, I paced myself completely accordingly. I didn't look at you once. Not once. But I had to address everybody. And you. But I stared right at Jacobs' face.

Right, right. Yes. It's a real sitcom, Bobby. Dude, I want another episode. I wanna see if you kill yourself. Oh, we'll see, maybe he'll kill himself. Maybe. Maybe the episode where Tim or Shane or Dan has to talk you off of a ledge of serious

while me and Bobby are down here just, you know, doing show. We're hanging out with Christine having Chick-fil-A downstairs. We're having Chick-fil-A while Jacob's wobbly legged on top of the thing. All of a sudden a gay shoe falls down in between us. And we're like.

And Shane comes up to you, you're gay, bro. Suicide's gay, bro. Suicide's gay. Suicide's so gay. And Dan promises he should take you to a shitty, mediocre lunch restaurant if you don't kill yourself. Oh, that's right. This is exciting news.

This is exciting. We're doing a special, special taping of The Bonfire live from Nashville on Tuesday, April 8th. We're just doing a studio show, but we are able to have audience. So if you wanna come in and watch us. It's like what we did in LA. Yes.

We had a big studio audience in LA. Live show. Live show, studio audience. You get to come in. Fun guests. It's gonna be great. We're gonna have a bunch of surprise people. We don't even know. Or none. Or none, it's just me and Jay. It could just be me and, but listen, let's gonna be great, we're gonna have a bunch of surprise people, we don't even know.

Or none. Or none, it's just me and Jay. It could just be me and Bobby. Listen, let's not throw out the possibility that it could just end up being me and Bobby. Maybe we'll write another episode of Jacob Loves Guys and we'll let the studio audience. In fact, I think we should definitely have a more communal effort episode of Jacob Loves Guys come out. I think we could really make some masterful work here.

I think you're right. This was Bobby on the fly, and it was killer. Absolutely killer. And Lou, and, yeah, Sandy. On the fly, Bobby was busy this weekend, everything was very good, but when we... Now that I see the... You see what we're doing?

What is it? I feel the connective tissue. I feel everything is working. Watch the pilot episode of any show. It's there. It's there. Watch the pilot episode of any show. It's there. It's there. But the second episode, the season. The next one's gonna be a banger, dude.

In the background, there might be two other people playing me blowing Bobby in Nashville. Now, Tuesday, April 8th, will I've already sucked him off? Come find out. If you're in the Nashville area on April 8th, visit SiriusXM.com slash the bonfire Nashville before 5pm Eastern April 4th. That's uh, damn it, so many days before they gotta let us know.

Well, let us know. For your chance to attend the show, there's no purchase necessary to enter or win, you just have to be a resident of the continental US and at least 18 to win. What? Really? Yeah. Weird. Why?

I have to be a resident of the continental US. What if we do it to rally up Illegals and at the end we just put them in a box. We can't get a bunch of MS-13s from Venezuela in the studio. You don't know that. No, we can't. They're gonna eat our pets. That's not the ones who eat the pets. SiriusXM.com SiriusXM. Comm slash the bonfire Slash the bonfire Nashville again serious xm comm slash the bonfire Nashville if you want to come Be a part of the live studio audience that day. Yes, is that every day? We're doing that every day just one day Tuesday Oh just Tuesday. So Monday we're doing regular show Tuesday

We're doing live and then Wednesday regular show all three shows live live audience on Tuesday Live audience. I mean, yes, and then and then Tuesday and then Wednesday We're doing I'm doing my show at 7 at Zanies and then right after that we do story wars as a story warrior I will be I'll tell you we've been debating. We have to give at least the I'll tell you we've been debating what we have to give at least the reigning story warriors like at least a double points exception because we announced that we weren't doing double points anymore and there's been an Audience mutiny I mean to a problematic level because you can already me DMS going last fucked up, dude I was a fan of the show. Yeah, that's fucked up. You can't take it away

They can't means that much you can't take it away because I earned it. I Heard I earned I'm a story warrior. I earned double points. Part of the will to win was to get the ability to go double points. I know. It feels great too when you do it. Wait, are there no more double points or just no more fanfare for double points? Always double points. Always fanfare for double points. But if you have won the game Story Wars before, you now earn the privilege of being able yourself to get the fanfare when you say double points.

But tell them why they took it away, because there is a good reason. Felipe Esparza, Aaron Berg, they flew too close to the sun. They went up there and they started just hurling double points in the fanfare and it got- He's earned it for everybody. It just got to be where we're like, all right, you're getting carried away carried away the idea the fun is like you

Get one or two in yourself, or we can even throw it to you Hey, you've won the game before so you happen to know Why is it different for the second half of the game? And then Bobby can say double and the fanfare and you feel like I can have one or two times But the people went and it's gonna kill the bit I can agree. I understand it because I've I've gone nuts with Pivens the power of the Piven the power of double points can Consume you and I understand that because I've been consumed you've been consumed

But now that I know I know that I know how to deal with the power and I earn that power and I want my double Points power, especially in Nashville. Yeah, especially that's, you haven't done a road show yet of Story Wars where the people, like the fans, full of fans exclusively, and they love double points. But he, and I've done the show twice. Yeah. I'm now, I'm a warrior, I'm a Story Warrior.

And I feel like I should be grandfathered in. And you should trust me with double points. I Ch I trust you don't trust me. I trust you look at me. Do you trust me? I trust you. Okay, then they good Christine Do you trust me? Then she doesn't that was not trust. She doesn't trust me. She went she went. Mm-hmm and looked at you I just don't have double points power because you don she's not. Of course you don't have double points. I can't do anything in this situation. I'm a story warrior. I won last minute. I think it should be granted for you. Thank you. Thank you. She benefited from the Pivins when you went Piven. I went Piven crazy because you got her out of debt.

You got her out of Piven debt. It's intoxicating. She was in Piven prison. I think I've learned my lesson from the Pivens and the Piven, listen, the Piven was intoxicating because it's power and I don't have that much power anymore. And with that power comes responsibility. Yeah. Yeah. And Jay was good with the power and but Jay taught me how to deal with the power and I feel like I know what to do.

You do. Double points I feel. I see that. I feel like I know what to do. You know what I mean? Thank you buddy. You're gonna be fine. Thank you man, I appreciate it. But I'm getting double points. I feel I feel like I know what to do. You know, thank you. Thank you, man I appreciate it, but I'm I'm getting double points. Yeah, okay Good. I think we have to figure out a way this we have to leave the ability cuz or we're gonna lose our and It appears our entire audience

Everybody of the show very large fan base But everyone seems to have been like I will check out completely of this show if you take double points away from the people who? Win the game When is that called? Only a week ago one episode we said it we were like yeah We're not doing the double points things anymore, and then people were like what and then the audience you know here's the thing It's a stand Did you decide that it was at a Lewis power move?

Was that me and it was me and Lewis together. So you both were like, this is getting stupid. Why was it stupid? Not stupid, it was just, it's, the show, we know how long the show goes, not everybody does. So when Felipe came in and was hitting, and he did it in every language, it was hilarious in that regard, but it dragged it out a bit where it's,

I'm worried about if that happens a bunch with Story of Warriors,, like everyone doesn't know that last week somebody could have done that same kind of bit of keep saying double points over and over and over and over. Right. And then it'll become like run on and annoying. Right.

We were just trying to think ahead of the game, but if the people have spoken, if you want the Story Warriors to have double points, then goddammit. But if the people spoken if you want the story warriors to have double points and God damn it Then I like I like Paco double points What do you mean the game? I know double points camp. I'm bringing them back. He's coming back. I love double points camp That was one of my favorites The day kiss thing completely and just hadn't danced Would say just deal the Sudeikis bit completely and just haven't come out and? What'd you say? I said just steal the Sudeikis bit completely

and just have him come out and dance. That's what he was doing. But gimped, right? Well, is she explaining the sh, the? She explained the bit to me and told me it was stolen from something else. I mean, that was very passive aggressive. She was, why don't you just steal the Sudeikis thing

and have him dance? And then you said, I did. Oh, I thought the whole thing was next it is Wow There's no double points. I gotta watch more story where's guys? No touching story where's your chiming in with being out of touch? That's the wacky part Jay who you typing Tim You DM and Tim you DM in one of you guys. Hey, I didn't mean that thing. I felt Jacob loves guys Jacob loves guys, you I felt. Jacob loves guys. Jacob loves guys. You know why Jacob loves guys.

Look how happy he is that he has a theme song. He really is. He's going to go into his Japanese restaurant. Hey, I don't know if you heard this. Catchy jingle. This is my little jingle they made for me. Can I get, can I just read, I like to read the audience, the shows,

breakdown of the week of potential things. Yeah. It's just laid out well. Yeah. Um, big Jay and Bobby's weekends always the top Jay on Rogan's podcast. Bobby's mad. We know why now. Because you didn't promote your own shit. Bobby's testosterone Jacob and butterly kiss AI video. How we haven't watched that yet is that's so great. I want to know how they did that.

Short King week coming five, five to five 10. Uh, that's very exciting for the short Kings's so great. I wanna know how they did that. Short King week coming, five, five to five, 10. That's very exciting for the Short Kings in this room, I bet. And I heard a girl today on one of those slut podcasts I listened to where they said like, Short Kings are becoming a thing again. They're having a little renaissance for the Short Kings. I found out that I'm a Short King.

Yeah, yeah. I didn't know, it's under five, 510 big personality, dude. Thanks, brother Good to have you back. You don't love guys Ricky Velez called Bobby a Short King That is one of the subjects He did call me a short king and it took me everything in the my power not to go into six gear old fucking Bobby Really? Yeah. Oh man. Yeah, I really I don't know why it made me angry Maybe because he's so. He's a Puerto Rican who looks Jewish

fighting an Italian who looks Puerto Rican. And he's wearing a skirt. Here's the thing. He's also wearing a skirt. No, I mean, you know, it was weird because I was like, it really offended me. And it never bothers me. I don't mind being called, I've never been called short.

I'm kind of like good height for a man, I always thought. What's your height? Five eight and a quarter. That's short. If you throw the quarter in, that's always the thing, by the way. Is that the thing where you're short? If you throw it in tiny measurements in there. I was debating right before I told you that,

whether I throw the quarter in, and I threw it in, and as soon as I said it, I saw your eyebrows go up, and you're like. I do my cock measurement down to the eighth. Bobby, can I say something about the testosterone because I watched a well I want to just give these all the eyes want to give the run down of all of our things where Bobby says Sustained Jacob butterly kiss short king week is coming Ricky Valdez calls Bobby short king Kanye does interview in black Klansman outfit

This guy get a new gimmick, bro Mer also a creep, question mark? It's true, good question mark. From PracklerJoker's, coach pulls female players ponytail, that was good. Linda Hogan crying again today. She cried again. Did she have that black shit on her face?

Cause that's what I'm more interested in. Botox, Botox bruises. That's what that is. That's disgusting. Really? I mean, that's gross. Chet Hanks new music video is out, I believe it's some sort of country-ish kind of thing.

And it's no point. I thought her new boyfriend was putting cigars out on her face. Why make a video with Botox? Oh, your voice is high. She said she was feeling emotional. Jesus, your voice went right through me. You have to make it right

with giant Botox marks on your face. Well, she's not stable. I mean, she's out of her fucking tree. Fair enough. She's probably pilled up and shit. Let me say, I'm not smoking cigarettes so that voice isn't that high and it doesn't go through my earlobes. Why I make a video?

And Rosie O'Donnell self-deports to Ireland slash Connor McGregor? That's great. Connor McGregor trashed Rosie O'Donnell. It was such a roasting. He just called her a fat pig. He's not wrong. And she went, yeah, that fat pig landed in this side part of the island.

The other part flipped into the UK. She really just laid into her. Rosie O'Donnell is, I mean, she has become as ugly an older person as you could possibly be. Yeah. I just don't understand how a face skin... And I'm saying again, I know I'm going way back, many, many years back, but a young Rosie O'Donnell I didn't think was an ugly person. She was cute when she was chubby.

Cute. When she first came out. Comedy Spotlight, her show. Backwards Kango Hat, she had like a little thing about her that was kind of cute. Cute little fat Irish girl. Yeah. Yeah, she was cute.

All right. And she did too. As a young comic myself, if she was a young comic at the same time, I would have, for sure, if she weren't the fuck, I'd have fucked. Sure, I would have got a comic myself if she was a young comic to stand same time I would have for sure if she wanted to fuck I'd have fucked sure I would have got a fucking something off her and then she just now looks like a Gnarled up fucking I mean she'll chewed up in the face and her teeth are all like little and she has asshole mouth Yeah, but she is Irish to they Irish girls fall off quick in their 50s Yeah, you know they're adorable in their 50s. Yeah.

You know, they're adorable in their 20s and 30s. She got that J-line chin though, so I never really noticed that too much. Then you realize later in life she has no upper lip, she has no lips. I don't know if she was a looker. She was a looker, but she was a looker. I wasn't saying she was a looker.

We didn't say she was a looker. Never a looker, I'm just saying right there, she's cute enough. Yeah, she's a cute little fat Irish girl. Standing next to Madonna? Yeah, I'm at. No, Madonna's far prettier. I'm just saying right there, she's cute enough. Yeah, she's a cute little fat Irish girl. Standing next to Madonna. Yeah, I'm at. No, Madonna's far prettier. I'm saying.

I'm not saying that, we're just saying. Oh, Jacob's never had, see here's the thing. All right. Jacob's never had a girl. Jacob has always been like in shape. He was never a fat guy or something, but he also, with that, he didn't ever had, he had the self-confidence though, within him, to still be like, well I'm not just gonna fuck a bunch of fat chicks and less than girls

that I'm not quite attracted to a lot for the sake of fucking. That's not how I'm thinking. I'm saying to you, yeah, motherfuck. Jesus Christ. Holy shit. He also likes guys, Jay. You have to be in shape.

Also, Jacob loves guys. You can't be out of shape and be in the guys. What does that, who does she look like? What guy does she look like there? All of them. She looks like Dennis Leary. Elon Musk. Hmm.

Um, she's horrendous looking. But go back to the thing, uh, her and... Jay, she, the problem with her that bugs me is that she's not funny anymore. She went on a talk show. Now, her face bugs me more than that. I don't give a shit about her not funny anymore. She went on a talk show. Now her face bugs me more than that. I don't give a shit about her talk show.

She went on a talk show in Ireland, now she's living there. And she didn't even try to be asked about Conor McGregor going to the White House. She didn't have one fuck, she just looked at him seriously. I think it's a travesty, whatever the fuck she said. And it's a real sign of America. Where's American at? It's like Say something funny bitch. Wait, what's a real sign of where America's at?

Conor McGregor being at the White House and running to be president of Ireland Did you know he's running he wants to be president of Ireland? I know yeah another was a president of Ireland Sure, I would assume it was a king in a castle. Mm-hmm. Not anymore. Um, didn't he hit chicks Conor McGregor? Yeah, but you can to it. Oh in Ireland you can look at those faces Hitable face. Yeah, a whack of chicken island. I mean you got a puncher a couple times for you find out. She's a girl Oh shite You're a lady You went right into English. I don't know how to do access. He did the shite was good shite shite was good shite

You're a woman! There you go. Thank you. That's not bad. That's a funny headline. Not a hope in hell. Not a hope in hell. Irish president roundly rejects Conrad McGarrett's post.

Okay, so. He's not gonna be president of Ireland, but they brought it up and she just... She had some thoughts. Yeah, do you have the video of her? Yeah, right there, look at her. I have the full video. The video that you sent, the link's broken. It doesn doesn't work anymore, okay, so I don't know where it's a

Kind of a longer interview. Oh she came back just to do the late late show who is it? This is the lately show in Ireland. This is Ireland. It's Ireland. This is their late night show she went on it I don't know why she's wearing a jacket She's dressed like an asshole. She's dressed like a fucking asshole. And uh... Yeah. Hey Rosie O'Donnell, why don't you dress like Elvis Costello? Fucking weirdo. We came over here after my mom died in 73.

I like your glasses. And we stayed with these cousins for a while and then we stayed in touch all through the years. Not for her. No, I don't like the face it's on. You know I met her at the airport, Westchester Airport. What happened? Challenged you to an eating contest? Hot dog eating contest she looked at me, and I looked at her and she went hey, and I went hey And then we just went on our way she was at the Westchester Airport. I don't know why she knew you

Uh I don't she went hey she must do oh, I think she knew me from Louie the show Louie Okay, a lot of people famous people watch Louie, and I was one of the regulars on it So I got a lot of people famous people watch Louie and I was one of the regulars on it So they got a lot of clout from actors and people less famous people had to watch Louie jack off on their eye Defining silence I thought it was funny And they're watching right now so Paula and Margaret, thank you so much, loves. And they're wonderful, wonderful women. She's an old Irish woman now. Is she putting an accent on now?

Thank you, loves. She's an old Irish hag right now. I know. I wish Sean Connery was alive to slap her across her fucking face. Well, sometimes you got to hit a woman. This is the most replayed right here. Slapper. Oh, most replayed right here.

Oh, this is it right here. Slapper in the fucking face. A teenage boy. And it's heartbreaking, I think. She was asking what the look she was going for was? What was the other question he was doing? What look are you going for, Rosie? A teenage boy.

People in America, and they're slowly waking. They're slowly waking to realize the cuts that he's making are not only going to a I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I feel like she's gonna spit her teeth out at some point. Can you just shut the fuck up and be fun? It's entertainment. And now you made it. She used to be fun. Yeah, but now you make it into news. Now you make it into some tragic shit where people have to either hate you or like you. She was fun before she was an, how funny is that?

I think this is what happened, what kinda happened to Fez I feel like when he was Fez? I think when she came out of the closet, it's gonna be this cure-all for everything. And then you're sort of a miserable then she's like more miserable than ever so she can't stay funny Do you know I mean she thought when she came out it was gonna be like But they didn't whatever that whatever coming out was didn't cure her. It's because thing It's because she thinks people give a fuck what she says and that's the problem You can't you're too cool to be funny. You know what I mean?

It's like just... Yeah, now you're trying to be important versus funny. You're not important and you're going to get people to be like, shut the fuck up and you should... You're one of a bazillion lesbians. No one gives a shit. Just be funny. Because she was funny. I liked Rosie when she had stand up spotlight. I liked her when she first started because she was funny. I liked her exclusively because she had an attraction to Tom Cruise.

Once I found out that was false, I hated her. That was another bullshit. Because that's what we shared together. We both thought he was a cutie patootie. Cutie patootie, that's right. Look at Jacobs. He was such a cutie patootie. Who forgets that line, man?

She was such a cutie, he was such a cutie patootie. Remember when she came out and she was kinda like, what, I still can't think he's attractive? Like, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up. Yeah No, that wasn't bullshit. I can still find him attractive like yeah, could you? Say that when you're fucking puke is in his fucking ball bag cuz you're by a wiener you hate

How can you hate wiener right You'd think she'd, right. Right, Jacob loves guys. Jacob loves guys. I love them. You'd think she'd try to retain some sort of humor. God, it makes me so happy. The bumpers are my favorite thing. The bumpers are the best. The bumpers are the best. I made another opening for season two of Jacob Loves Guys.

Oh, can we hear it? We're already in the second season. Yeah, this is when he dates. You don't even know if it got picked up. It's getting picked up. This is if he dates a black man. Okay. He's looking angry up. This is if he dates a black man. Okay. He's looking angry.

He's feeling shy. And we know why. Jacob loves guys. Jacob loves guys. I love them. Yeah. I like that season two got some money behind it. Hell yeah.

Season two, the production got a little better. Yeah, J.G. Lo's guys now featuring sleeping on your stomach with that sore asshole. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yikes. Someone had to help him with that rat problem. Nah, nah, nah, look at her weird fucking damn, she aged like ass.

Yeah, she aged bad and uh. Serious. She was doing videos over the whatever and aged like ass. Yeah, she aged bad and... Serious. She was doing videos over the whatever and she had herpes on her lip, which was just so fucking weird. If I had a herpe on my lip, the last thing I would do is make a video for social media

until I took care of it. What if it really called for it though? What do you mean? Herp. What if everyone really, she really had to get some words out that day. I bet it might be important. You got a herp?

It might be important. What she was saying might be important. Put a little makeup over that sun bitch though. How about shut your face and just go enjoy your millions at your beach house and have fun. Yeah, she's probably doing fine, right? I mean she's, she whimsically moved to Ireland. Oh, there it is. God. Oh, God. This is, I mean, this is.

Oh, dude, it's your girlfriend. I mean, fucking hates her. Oh, God, love Megan. Megan Kelly grossed out by Rosie O'Donnell describing her MAGA-associated herpes cold sore. Oh, here it goes. Look at her. Stop her. Stop her real quick.

Look at that. What? Look at that. What? This girl, Megan. And now watch what we're about to see. Oh, you're singing for looks? Watch this.

Ready? Let me tell you, so Megan Kelly has got her own thing going on. Yeah, it's called gorgeous. Gorgeous? Yeah, baby. Well, when we saw her back before you went live in LA, I thought she was really cute in person. Yeah, she's gorgeous.

Yeah, she's pretty, dude. Gorgeous. Yeah, gorgeous. She does it for me. She does it for me, too. I'm with you, Jacob. Well, you let her know. Jacob likes it because she looks like a guy.

Well she puts on makeup. She looks like she puts on makeup. She puts on makeup, she looks like the fucking Punisher Skull if you look at her. I mean the angle of her face. She's Punisher Skull. We can pick apart anything. Can I though?

Why don't you do this? A lot of real estate between those eyes too. What's up? Oh that movie. Far Apart Eyes. Play it. Hey everybody it's Friday of the day. It's up? Oh that movie. Far Apart Eyes. Hey everybody it's Friday. Stop. How about that? What about that fucking? That's different dude. Rosie O'Donnell looks like the, looks like a corpse they pulled out of water. That looks like something you'd catch in the Mariana

Trench. She's great. She's put up in a fishing net. Yes. It's terrible. Absolutely. And you go what is this creature? She's worked in the entertainment industry, you know lighting. Yeah, she doesn't look. You know makeup, do something. She really has to tell you how much she hates stuff. Look at that herpy on her lip. I mean, come on, you don't have to make a video today.

Where's the herp? Right there. Oh, that son of a bitch. Good, play it again. Oh, is it down here? It's down there. Is that it? That's it right there, there's probably two of them.

Look what I have on my lip. Oh, there it is. It's up top. Everybody's been saying you have herpes You have herpes all this time and I never had a cold sore in my life And now I have a cold sore and it makes me think that perhaps this weird pimple that had a tiny little head Was a cold sore too. And so I talked to my doctor today and I did a video telehealth And so I talked to my doctor today and I did a video telehealth The skin on her chin and lower cheek is freaking me the fuck does that just happen to you? Yeah, it's so scary Alan got a fix though Alan had that just know I will get it Christine just know that if there's no that it will never see That it'll be the reason that you're out on your ass And I'll be happy to tell everybody I'll go look at this look at this upshot look at Christine

I could pull her fucking cheek skin fucking three inches off her face You don't like that nope you like the rolling hairs hills of Rosie O'Donnell's chest She has three it's a three-fold thing happening on her lower cheek. Christine, point to her lower cheeks on the screen. It's the age. Ah! Yes, all that! When she talks! I want to see it roll.

And they said that it's not a cold sore. Alright, here's what the problem with these people are. It's like you're a professional actress. You're a professional, you've been in. You've been movies. You know cameras work Stop looking at yourself Stop looking at you on the video look at the camera the little dot and talk to me the person watching it I hate that all these celebrity fucking douchebags still look at themselves talking While they're doing the video just look at you if you told me she was not looking at herself talking or in the mirror

That day or any time in this past few weeks. I would believe you by the way she looks Why is she letting that happen? You're right. I take it back. Megan Kelly is a stunning Fox What is that Apologies treated with neck lift. How much is it cost? Whatever it is, it's worth it. Yeah, everything I got take everything I have that's the first thing I think we both we noticed that Corey Feldman finally aged his neck Yeah, hitting them Kirsty Alley to win her when her chin went into her chest Well, the neck does not lie and if you look, Ellen got the surgery

because there was a couple years where her neck was. Dirty. It looked like the back of somebody's knee. The gobble gobble. And then she got a fix. She was wearing scarves. It was disgusting. Fungal.

I think you'd get it from eating pussy. Maybe. I think, I'm pretty sure. Oh, you think it's that, but you think it's because your neck's always resting on a woman's asshole? Yeah, exactly. Oh, I never I'm pretty sure. Oh, you think it's that, but you think it's because your neck's always resting on a woman's asshole? Yeah, exactly.

Oh, I never even thought about that. Yeah, Alan's neck was the skin. Do you think being in the damp, dark moisture of a woman's ass crack with your neck while you're munching her box? Yeah. Possibly does that, yeah? I think that's what happens. Okay.

Okay. All right, I like what you're saying. Give me the end of this. Oh man, is she hot. This is the first chapter of our saga it was filed on Friday this past Friday So buckle in because you know the MAGA people caused her to have herpes as she's oppositional to Donald Trump Megan Kelly here on Sirius XM one of our you know brothers and sisters colleagues here. Well not to mention call her daddy Mm-hmm. She's had a big interview to what was her big interview she did she had a what's her name the comic what's it L no not

mozzarella little mozzarella not little mozzarella the woman comic that was your other no she's not her Paul Poundstone no she's no not her she's not a lesbian she is a lesbian Michelle but oh No blonde girl had her own show on e su castillo No, Chelsea Handler Chelsea Handler had a big Chapel Rome, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, I know this we got a wrap. We got a wrap I know it's seven minute break. Go see Robert Kelly go to punch up that live slash Just go to the seven jobs slash Robert Kelly go this Friday night punch up dot let go down download the app punch up dot live And this Friday night eight o'clock you can watch my live from the village underground special and then you can go there and watch

My other special to all my stuff unedited up there punch up that light and the ninth I will be at with you and everybody in Nashville There you go We'll see you tomorrow. Wait Big J go check out his special. Watch my special. Yeah, what's coming out? We'll be back tomorrow youtube.com Slash at Big J Ogerson and check him out on Rogan if you can do the three hours You can make it to the end of it. You can hear me promote my special

And don't forget Jacob loves guys. Jacob loves guys. I love them.