The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jacob's Excitement w/Tim Butterly

Episode Date: April 3, 2025

Tim Butterly co-hosts for Big Jay and Jacob gives him special treatment. Bobby is convinced that Jacob has a massive man-crush on Tim. Jacob defends himself and things get heated. Bobby tells of a time when he had interracial sex to 90's R&B music, while Tim likes to make love to Wilco. Bob shows off another sexy phot of himself for listeners to caption and he cries while watching a poorly animated movie. You can hear "Tim Butterly's Show" anywhere you get your podcasts and for stand-up dates @timbutterly on Instagram. *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now, the Bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly. Ooh, ooh. I love this band so much. Sucks that they're... I don't know where they are. They're gone, right? They're just done? Well, they're still around. Yeah, but they're not doing it. They were like hot. Yeah, nobody cares anymore. Nobody cares anymore. It's like that other band, that Led Zeppelin rip-off band that... What was that called?

Greta Van Fleet. Greta Van Fleet. I like that band too. Who's this? What's this band? Royal Blood. Two people. Listen to this. Turn it up, Lou. Two people. Bassist and drummer. I mean, come on. Let's go, okay. Yeah, I could rock out to that.

I could put a dent in the couch. Extremely stoned to that. What do you mean put a dent in the couch? What do you mean, sex? Sink in. Oh, I thought you were just banging in the couch. Do you have sex with music? No, apparently because my music, Big J and Christine and Christine everybody else here tells me that my music is terrible fucking music

Well, I mean is it like this or do you fit this and other stuff? Mine's like from the 80s It's uh, you know, maybe a little Yeah, RMB man. What do you know from the 80s? We want to do I was I was important in the 90s with metal goth and fucking gloves I wasn't born in the 90s with metal goth and fucking gloves. Oh, right. Yeah. These people think R&B during sex is reprehensible. I wish I well, I think it is great sex music. I just don't think that I've ever been anywhere near the level to try to pull it off.

You know what I mean? I was. I was. I mean, of course, not now. If you look at me now, you're like you can't. If you're looking at me now, Christine, and going, you can't fuck this. I get it. But if you looked at me back then, you'd be like, oh, I understand how this guy fucked to, you know, that. Yeah, the hips aren't there anymore.

Yeah, no, I mean, I can't. I can't fuck to this now either. I'd have to fuck to Billy Joel. Weird Al. Yeah, like Bon Jovi or some shit, you know. Ballads only from Bobby Flannell. Adele. I'd have to...

Some type of slower music. I don't really fuck to music. One time I did have sex to music. The second black girl I ever dated, Black Lou, what's up? Yeah, second black girl I ever was with, met her at a sober nightclub back in, I think the, what was it, the late 80s, early 90s, sober nightclubs were a thing, which was crazy because it was just like a regular nightclub. So they'd get like only soda.

It sounds like heaven. It was so weird. We'd all go to these meetings on Fridays and Saturday nights and, you know, talk about higher power and, you know, being sober and accountability and all that stuff and then we just go to this fucking shitty nightclub and just try to sober grind suck each other off and fucking Gran Torino's and shit we used to go to this club and I remember I met this black girl and she took me back to her place and I finally figured out the difference between black girls and white girls

black girls They know they're gonna fuck you You know what I mean? Sure. White girls you have to con them into Fucking you have to give them the excuse that they need so that they're not a slut the next day a black girl is like I'm gonna fuck you you know because I that we have to do this is for me You know well right thing like when you were I was I was with her and I started kissing her and then I started Rubbing her boobs and then and then I started I said a rubber boobs I haven't done in a long time. Were they like big?

They were medium, which is perfect. I guess that could be cool too, but go on. I started, you know, we- Did you French kiss? We made out, I kissed her neck, did her booby, you know, first, second, third. Then I did her, then I rubbed the, I grazed the vagina. And then I was- Just passing through? Just passing through. Then I started rubbing it, picked I grazed the vagina and then I was passing through

Just passing through then I started rubbing it picked her up like a six. Oh, that's where that is I mean well already there and then she went she went whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa because I was rubbing her Pants at that pace and she went she went whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa stop stop, and I was like what she goes I'm fucking you We're fucking. Chill out, baby. Pack your bags, the war is over. She went, chill out, baby. She went over to the radio and put on a station

that I think only black people get, because I've never heard this music since. It was such, it was such sexy. Like this? It was this, but more drippy fuck. Something, yeah. Like, yeah, Lou, you got it. And she undressed me. She walked over to me, undressed me.

Standing up or on the bed? Standing up, took unbuttoned my little nightclub shirt that I had on, took my jacket with my shoulder pads off. She undid my Z-cavary-ach, took my jacket with my shoulder pads off. She undid my Z-cav-er-eech. Pucked my pants off. Took my Puerto Rican fence climbers off. Folded my clothes as she's doing it. And then we slowly kissed for like what seemed like an

eternity. And then we made this crazy love to this music all night And it was it was like a fucking movie, and then I got crabs Which sucked that ruined it whoa got a hot case of crabs what a tail Yeah, but that's that's the only time I've your suit your clothes like when Iron Man suit comes off of him as he's walking And then under all that, it's just you. ALL LAUGHING Let's make this quick, Jarvis.

ALL LAUGHING Yeah, dude, she was, I mean, I don't really bang, like my wife, we don't bang to music. Do you bang to music? Yeah, well, we live in a small house, so we need some sort of cover so the children don't hear her screaming and... Does she scream?

Yeah, she screams, she hits me. She hits you? Yeah, she's really aggressive but did you ask okay I didn't like tell her to stop you know I mean it's not a boundary I've drawn such a try that kind of stuff from time to time all right you know I mean so I have to mask her aggression by putting on fucking Wilco or something yeah right dude you know the the six minute guitar solo from impossible Germany while you're I will go fuck it up. Yeah right dude, the six minute guitar solo from impossible Germany while you're right on the cusp of busting. That's not so bad man. I can't fuck the music. I don't have it.

Dude hit it. Oh come on. Yeah there it is. Oh man I'm so close. Is this good for you? Are you still, does this feel good? Is that too much? Ow! This sounds like something lesbians would fuck too. No, dude. You have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

This is terrible. This is hippie music. This is hippie music. Oh, this is terrible. I could never fuck to this. That's on you, man. This is not on me. Jacob, could you fuck to this? The solo's throwing me off? Yeah, you can't even get a growth going you lock in you sync up with the solo dude Come on. You sync up with I don't know where it's going. Hang on. Let me hear it. Oh, yeah, I get I mean Repetition helps there wrote memorization, you know committing the entire thing

Now now this is terrible. No, dude. I mean, if you add the drums, I could do it. If you add that, I can do it. I don't know. This is bad. I could never fuck to this. What's that? What are you pointing to him for? I believe Jacob has a note for you. You have a note? I mean you what are you pointing to him for?

You have a note I don't I was just gonna say what Wow You have a note for me. No, what's that? Cuz I knew you're gonna get to it. I just said you you were gonna introduce the guest. Oh, right Yeah, I'm gonna introduce the guests. That's why I didn't say anything so he ratted me for no reason Why I had faith in you and we have we we're gonna get to the guest, but I didn't say it Here's a problem. I could do it. You know, I'm going in for jam co-host today. I'm not the guilty here. You're a rat I'm not a rat. You're a piece of shit. I didn't say everybody of course This is why you don't even need to introduce him because he's so

of course, this is why you don't even need to introduce him because he's so, he's one of the best co-hosts we have on. He's always our go-to. Anytime his name is brought up, everybody is happy. Tim Butterly is filming in for Big Jay, who's out doing Rogan right now. He's promoting his stuff. He's also doing, what else is he doing out there? Story Wars.

Story Wars out there. He's gonna do Rogan. Hopefully Rogan goes as well as we hope it goes where he throws a lot of jokes out there Rogan doesn't get them and He goes well alright Tim is gonna be in Ontario, Canada in Tim is going to be in Ontario, Canada, in Kitchener, Delhi, Shelburne, and Toronto, April 3rd through the 6th. After that, he'll be in South Bend, Indiana, April 11th through the 12th.

Get tickets at timbuddly.com. One of my favorite people who I've met in the last year, I think. I know. What a great new friend to have. I love you, dude. I love you too. But not as much.

Okay. What I found out. Not as much. Okay. What I found out, not as much as Jacob. I wanna tell you, the fucking crush that this guy has on you makes me sick to my stomach. Jacob, do you like me? Buddy, not. It's a weird thing, man. It's weird.

Yesterday. What are you talking about? Okay, I'm gonna tell you. What did you hear? Yesterday. From the two rats. You're a rat Yesterday, okay, I'm gonna tell you. Yesterday. Yesterday. You're a rat. You're a rat. You're a buddy. Yesterday.

This place falls apart when Jay's not here, by the way. Everyone's at each other's throats. It's not, no. Jacob's the straightest guy in the world. I'm very happy with Christine. I love Lou and I love Lou. Here's the thing. Jacob yesterday, he goes,

hey man, I'm gonna text Tim and see what he wants, if he has any things to talk about or whatever. I go, I go what the fuck does that mean? Why don't you, shouldn't I, as my show, shouldn't I know what the fuck you're gonna talk about with Tim? Why wouldn't I tell you? I go, I go put me, I go put me on that text.

I would have. He was so mad when I said put me on that text. Just like, that's a liar. I swear to God, he went like this, he went, all right, I'll put you on, yeah, you can be on that. And then when he texts, I'm gonna read the text if you don't mind, Tim, this text. The text to me?

To you. Yeah, I read that. Not a group text, it's a text, he wanted to just be you and him on this. He wanted to just be you and him on this. I cock block this romance. Jacob and I text each other every holiday. I promise you that.

He wanted, he wants more. Also, I'll say he wants more. I can fuck to this. By the way, this is my jam. OK, ready? This is his. Tim, excited your guest hosting tonight. Exclamation point.

I wrote, are you Jacob? Oh, you know I took that wrong? Tim, what? I thought, okay. He thought you were saying, are you Jacob? Like you don't have his number. That's how I took it. Oh no, I wrote, are you excited?

Exclamation point. That was funnier Of course you didn't get your you didn't get it cuz you're so excited Because it's a new group maybe it didn't show up. Mm-hmm He was also like kind of half reading you because he was skipping at full speed through Queens. Tim's coming in, Tim's coming in, Tim's filling in for Jay. He's so excited. I had to catch my trolley! Tim Fuddley is coming to town! Oh my god. The fact that he just wanted to call you, touch base, see what your thoughts were.

That made me feel so good. And then, and then, and then call me and be like, hey, I talked to Tim. Did you? Did you talk to Tim? This is weird, because we got someone sent in this footage, this audio of you and Tim at Skankfest last year having a conversation. What?

Yeah. I don't even remember. Yeah. This is AI. I didn't even know. Oh, god. Here we go. There's no AI.

It's not AI at all. Bullshit. This is not bullshit. Somebody recorded you talking to Tim. Here we go. There's no AI. There's not AI at all. Bullshit. This is not bullshit. Somebody recorded you talking to Tim. Here we go. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck! Fuck that I. Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! off what's happening I don't understand this is crazy man since when do you text the guest house every guest no no I do that's bullshit I've had Paul Verzee yeah that's I don't know calling you know you're gonna go with Paul buddy people I know I always, I always do. You've never texted any of the guests. That's not true. And you've never wrote to them, hey, I'm so excited you're on. Yes I have.

No you haven't, show me a text. You're on, you're following me. I mean not since Shane. I get it. I'm not saying it's been a while. Christine, I don't know what you're saying. Did he have a falling out or did he have a breakup? No, no breakup. Just Shane doesn't live in the city anymore.

He's not really coming in, and I just haven't seen Jake this excited since then. So this is your new Shane affair. Oh, man. Hey, man, I get it. Let me tell you something about Tim. I get it. I went over his house. I did his podcast. I met his family.

I felt like I was lit up for a day and a half and then when it went away I realized it was because I was away from Tim. Oh, I get it. So what's the I get it? So what do we? Are we what are we arguing about? What are we arguing about? I'll tell you what he's mine I'm the host back off bitch. That's what I'm arguing about back off What I had that for you? No you did that fucking dude. You didn't want me on the text Like I wasn't gonna tell you it was gonna be our secret what he wanted to talk about you said to me I'm gonna text I want to text Tim and see if he has any stuff Shut your face

Need to have fun your vape your weekly Watch you take a buddy. We got him hooked on vapes You did do it. Fruity vape that stinks up the whole place. Don't get mad at me with your little... Oh, I walked in and it stinks of raspberry. You're scent. You're scent. Where was this guy last week when we did the game show? Don't get tough on him.

We got Bobby. We took him down in the basement, got him hooked on the frozen white grape. That was a good one. He didn't say it was you he said I went to this is his bullshit I went to Seattle and every other stores of vape shops, so I have to take up vaping What could I do it was actually Tim it was your basement? I have to take up vaping. What could I do? It was actually Tim. It was your basement The first story when you had the vape he was vaping constantly as a bit and then he got stuck It was really good that fucking great was fantastic Jacob. You can't catch you not vaping now Jacob I know you're getting angry now. You're getting angry and you're lashing out because I I'm affecting your your your effect I'm affecting your relationship with him.

I get it, I understand buddy, listen to me. Buddy. We'll survive this. Let me tell you this, you might not survive this. We might not, listen to me, I'm telling you right now, you've never ever, with any guest host that's ever come on, said hey, I'm gonna text them and see what they got going on, what they wanna talk about.

Never, and I'll tell you why I know this. You've never called me and said that. You called me and said, hey, I'm gonna text Tim, and it was so shocking to me, because it's never been done. I was like, why? And you were like, I don't know, just see what he wants to talk about.

I go, well, I was like this is weird I go put me on that put me on that text right because I wanted to see the tone of it And then when you put the exclamation when you wrote I'm excited what guy Go to another guy. I'm excited to see you with an exclamation Exclamation point! Shut up, Bobby! Buddy, just admit you have a crush on Tim! Honestly, Jacob, if a grown man talks to you in this tone, you have to at least try to punch him in the face. No!

Listen, dude, just admit you have a crush. He challenged me to a push-up contest and said he could do 56. 55, don't lie. Oh, I'm sorry. Who won? No, he chickened out. I didn't lie 55. Oh, I'm sorry Who won? No, you chicken chicken chicken chicken. You are okay. Let's back up. Let's back up chicken I do impressions Yeah, here's another animal sound oh my god Jacob I didn't know you were such a big strong Mayan When we play you guys talking at Skankfest again?

Why don't you do that P-diddy impression? That's you and Paul Versey. That's you. That's you. That's you doing a band work with Butteley. I don't call Paul because I don't want to and I'm not getting in between you two. First of all, don't throw Paul into the bus because I found out about your love for Tim butterly you brought up all you're getting you brought up your you're getting angry because we discovered Your lust for butterly and I was just all I wanted to do is admit it no I admit it No, no get off his fucking back, man. He's the only guy that texts me on every holiday. I got a happy Thanksgiving

I got a happy belated Christmas. And Columbus now. He's been grooming you for years. Columbus! Christmas! This old man's been grooming you, Butterly, for a long time. I'm an old man myself. I guarantee you're going to get an invite back to the Queen's apartment tonight. Hey, you want to come back and see my bands?

Want to watch some sumo eating? I think we really went past the fact that Jacob's a Jewish man that texted Tim happy belated Christmas. I missed it That's crazy I said happy whenever Hanukkah was and he thinks the Jews are the problem Huh, I Didn't forget I did say happy He loves Palestine. And you destroyed it. It means anything. Huh? I didn't forget, I did say happy Merry Christmas, Shane. Yeah, you did? I didn't miss the day, sorry.

I don't think you did it to me. Yes, I did. Well, I called you. You didn't give me an exclamation point. I talked to you, yes I did. I'm sure I did. Maybe I'm a little jealous. Yeah, you're being left out in the cold.

Maybe I'm a little jealous. Yeah, you're being left out in the cold. Maybe I'm a little jealous of your love for Tim and your enthusiasm for Tim Butterly. I get it. I understand it. Funny guy. But why don't you keep it back? Why don't you just tone down your crush a little bit? How's that?

OK. OK? OK. All right, good. Jacob's got a good eye, Tim. That's right. Jacob's got a great eye. I know talent. Impeccable OK. OK. All right. Good. She's got a good eye to try. Jacob's got a great eye. I know. Tell me, will you do no talent? And I know you know, talent, you know, a nice ass when you see a fucking fruit

eater. Um, anyways, is that your contribution to tight ass part? Yeah. Thank you, Bobby. You got a nice tight ass. You are. You're like, you know, that's straight. You're like a you're this weird, sexy nerd. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like you could clean up fucking great. If you... But that would be gay.

I'm close enough that it would be gay if I did. If you cleaned up and got some type of hair gel and took the glasses off... Sure. ...and got rid of the mustache... Yeah. ...right, and then... If I got prom queen makeover,

I think I could really have done that. Have you ever been sexy, Timmy? No, no. I'm within spitting distance of like conventionally attractive. And if I tried to manually cross that bridge, it would just be, it would be over for me. My personality will crumble. But you never got into an outfit that put you into that? Uh, I mean, yeah, I try to dazzle my fashion, obviously, but I obviously, but I've never even knocked on the door being hot.

That's funny, because I have a photo. But you started hot, and now you're weird looking like me. Well, here's the thing is that I have many versions of me. Last week, we found a version that I didn't know existed that I forgot was existed. It was a... A tadpole in leather pants. No, it's actually worse than that.

Kristen, you have that photo? Bring it up for Tim. It's called... Jay, Jay, uh, affectionately named me Genghis Bob. And I don't remember... ALL LAUGHING This is, like, recent. I... That was... I don't know what year... What year...

It's been, like, the last ten years. That's the most dangerous facial hair I've ever seen in my life. That's crazy. It looks like a biohazard symbol. It's why... But I don't remember being this guy. That's the weirdest part. I remember a seen in my life. That's crazy. It looks like a biohazard symbol. It's why, but I don't remember being this guy. That's the weirdest part.

I remember a lot of my phases. And the facial expression itself. It's saying, you sure you want to go there, kid? Yeah. But dad, I found a new one. Black Lou found a new one. He sent it in the thing. Did you get it?

No, she didn't get it. And this is when I was the first comments food man chew We're gonna go through some of the new comments You're gonna go through some of the new comments go through some of the week So much is right creep Tom look a Oh boy. That's nuts. He's Raiders fan number one. That's great. Jesus Christ. So wait, was that the new one or is there another one? There's another version of me.

A brand new shiny Pokemon. Well, this is what I'm talking about. I did step over to the other side a couple of times in my life. You overextended yourself. No, I didn't. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off.

I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off.

I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it off. I actually pulled it of me. Brand new shiny Pokemon. Well this is what I'm talking about. I did step over to the other side a couple times in my life. You overextended yourself. No I didn't. I actually pulled it off. I pulled it off. We'll be the judge of that. And it was my premium Blend days. Comedy Central, trying to be famous, trying to get a gala, maybe a sitcom based on, yeah, based on my life, you know? And when your whole act was based on... Right, you do 18 minutes about how crazy your living room is. Yeah, you know, my, you know, I'm a, there he is right there.

I mean, I call that Dominican Bob phase. What the hell? What year was it? That's gotta be 98, that's 98. I've never seen this vast of a skull change It's fucking crazy, right? That's not I mean zoom in a little more. I mean look how I mean, that's a good-looking That's I mean, that's that's one of my hot phases. That's yeah, that's Dominican Bobby. That's when I first moved to New York

that's premium blend and ultramanic yord goatee I mean look at that look at the lips look at the bum whoa it honestly looks like a pussy your face looks like a pussy that's nuts it's great look at the eyes I mean it just goes right through you and the hair is I mean you can't fuck with the hair how did you let this slip away can I ask I think God let it slip away time Time. You blame everybody, but what inside, what switch? You stared deep into the coffee cup when I asked that. It's, um... I don't know, dude.

I think that when I, as I give up addictions, when I gave up drugs, I went to cigarettes. When I gave up cigarettes, I went to sex. And that was sex. Smoking and sex. So when I gave up cigarettes, I went to sex. And that was sex, smoking and sex. So when I gave up sex. You're addicted to being the coolest guy in the world. That's crazy. I mean, that's movie star, Bob.

That's Marlon Brando Kelly right there. Wait. That's me. That's you. That's me back in Boston. No, it's not. What do you mean it's not? That's 100% me.

What? That's last night, that's leading, that's leading role, leading man, Bob, right there. I mean. I mean, dude, I mean, it's crazy. That's me. It looks like one of the Lawrence brothers with fetal alcohols in you.

I mean, I'm a good looking guy right there. Oh, for sure. I mean, you still are. Don't show your... Well, thanks, man. I mean, I've given you nine compliments. You haven't given me any. You're just receiving.

You put me in a fucking tough spot. I, uh, what? A compliment spot? No! Mom and Dad are screaming at each other. I just sat down at the dinner table. I don't know what to do with myself. Listen, let me tell you something. It's, it's, it's Dad and it's... Please give him a compliment. You're the mom, by the way. I'm the dad. Mom and Mom. Yeah, we're both moms. Both queens just... My fucking lesbian moms are beating the fuck out of each other, dude.

We really just fond over you as soon as you walked in. And I'm gonna be honest, Jacob, I'll be honest, because you're not honest. When you said, I'm going to text him... This is insane. I was a little like, fuck you, he's mine. There was a smidget of... It all comes out. And then when you went, I'm so excited to see you I was like you're an asshole you're just an asshole you did prompt him to call me he called me he was

just like hey man what's going on just wanted to see like what are you talking about? I wanted to see if Jacob called you. I was like no Jacob just gonna have to follow me. We were talking for like an hour about Sumos. You did send me that thing last night. I wound up watching it. I fell asleep too. Would you watch the series, or are you watching actual Sumo wrestling? Actual Sumo wrestling. Yeah, hell yeah, dude, let's go.

Awesome. He's into Sumo wrestling, but you said it to me last night, you were like, I watch Sumo wrestling, I'm into it, and I watch them eat. And you were like, I was like, send me the videos. You're like, you're not gonna be into it. I was like, dude, I watch narrowboats.

I watch canal boat guys for hours on YouTube, just a guy on a narrowboat going through the canals of London. How fast does a narrowboat go? It goes maybe 10 miles an hour. It's kind of moving. It's nuts. Kind of grooving? I get addicted to to these my favorite one right now is the outdoor boys. Have you seen them? You should watch. Oh, yeah, I love outdoor boys like the outdoor boys

Yeah, dude, he goes out in the snow with his little sons and they eat fucking camp bread and honey butter all the time I mean, it's Honey butter man, why every time he gets to that jar of honey butter. I seriously pop. It's not I go nuts on my couch Why is not why is honey, buddy? Not a thing? Why is honey butter not in the store? Why is it not made? Why cannot why do I have to make it there's a gap in the market? Yeah, Bob Kelly's honey butter Yeah, I think with that with that other face on the butter the gang is Bob's face This is the this guy's a mormon launched a butter do people go on the butter, the Gangus Bob's face on the butter. Did you? This is the, this guy's a Mormon.

If you launched a butter, dude, people would go nuts. You'd be spit roasted. Bobby, Gangus Bob's butter? Gangus Bob's honey butter. I'm in, dude. We should do this. Honey butter, so he goes out, he's a Mormon, this. Yeah. Honey, buddy. So, yeah, he goes out. He's a Mormon, used to be a lawyer.

Then he started doing this YouTube page. He's one of the only people that does not have sponsors, doesn't have commercials, does not accept money from outside things. He just does it. He makes all his money from the YouTube watches or whatever the fuck they give him. I don't know how he does it, but do that.

But he goes out with his sons into the middle of nowhere. But the sad part about it, I don't know if you watch it lately, his sons are getting old and they can't go with him anymore. So he has to go out by himself. And it's kind of boring. I found him from the solo ones where he's just like, I'm going out in the snow with no tent, nothing. And he just like burns shit and then buries it and lays on top of it,

and he's just like, yeah, it's pretty fucking cold, dude, this feels good. Let's get into the butter. Let's get into the honey butter. It's all about the honey butter. Cause he'll take the honey butter and he puts it in the fire cause it's frozen. And then he pours it on homemade bread that he made

out of a Ziploc bag. Oh dude, he fucking slurps it and he's dipping the bread in the jar. I think that was what really gets me. I don't give a fuck about survival. I just wanna watch that guy slurp butter butter the honey butter is my favorite part of it Have you ever had honey butter? Yeah, I've been to brunch before yeah, of course. I've never had it. Oh, maybe you make it at home Yeah, I know I don't want to make I don't want to make it at home. I want to see my vape god damn it

Realize I watched yesterday YouTube knows me just what you're saying, the same vein a Thailand guy, he made a home out of a hollowed out tree. I thought it was just gonna be putting like a some sort of bamboo bed in there. He built like a picket fence, a camp of an oven inside the tree, a full door, like you would move to this tree. It was a fully functional home. And I mean, I would have been dead in half an hour.

Like I couldn't survive, I don't want these guys that can build like that. I watch all these guys, I've watched them for years, and that's kind of where I got the Comedy Camp thing from. Yeah. Where I, you know... Where me and Ari and Joe would just go out and be out there in the middle of nowhere with no... Comedy Camp started with Honey Butter,

and then he built it around that. Kind of like Donnie Dust. Yeah, Donnie... But Donnie Dust is weird. He's gonna outlive everyone. Yeah, but you're talking about a guy... He did nine tours of duty in Afghanistan, and he just walks out and makes a rock into a weapon

and then murders something and then eats it. You know what I mean? You can't compare yourself to that. But you could go out, I think, I want to go out in the next couple years by myself and be out there with just a tarp and a knife and maybe a little... And honey butter. I mean, as long as I go out there with honey butter, yeah, this guy and maybe... A little bit of rope. And honey butter.

I mean, as long as I go through with honey butter, yeah, this guy's the best. I love this guy. Stone Age? Nah, he's a... he's go... Yeah, pretty much Stone Age. He'll go out, get a rock, make it into an axe or an arrow, and then kill something and then eat it.

He came in the studio. He was my guy. He was my... he's my... He came in? He came in, dude. He came in. We contacted him. Did he keep up the Stone Age act? He came in, dude. He came in. We contacted him. Did he keep up the Stone Age act? He's like, what are all these magical devices? Funny you say that,

because I brought him in the subway and he was flipping out, bumping into people, like, whoa, sorry, I didn't know, oh man. And I had to pay for his thing, because he was like, why do I get through this? And I was like, it was wild. I brought him down to the cellar. He went to one of the shows.

Oh no. Yeah, he ate wings. He was like, these are amazing. I'm like, yeah. He pulled a spear him down to the cellar. He went to one of the shows. Oh no. Yeah, he was, he ate wings. He was like, these are amazing. I'm like, yeah. He pulled a spear on one of the black comics. No, he just hit me. No, friend, friend. I made this for you.

This is a peace offering. Yeah, he came in. The shadow people make laugh. It was so funny though, cause Christine and Jay were both calling him a fucking, like a queer. They were like, this fucking loser. And then we got him in, he's like, hey, what's up?

And they're like, hey man, how you doing? He's like, he did nine, the craziest part about this guy did nine tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, and he's a interrogator. And I was like, did you have to waterboard people? He goes, you don't do any of that shit. You need to talk to them, make them like you, and give them Skittles.

And then they'll tell you fuck it. And then they don't, you pull their fingernails off. And then they start yapping. Then you fuck them. But yeah, he was telling me, he did so much crazy shit, man. This guy's unbelievable. He's got stashes, I remember. He's ready for when the world collapses, he was telling me he did so much crazy shit, man. This guy's unbelievable. He's got stashes. I remember he's ready for when the world collapses, he's got, he knows exactly where his dig up stash is.

Well, he's got eight caves all over Colorado in the woods that he has stashed supplies and weapons and all kinds of stuff. So when stuff goes down, him and his family just go to these places and he has stuff ready to go. I mean, this guy could literally go out into the woods with nothing. He goes out there with nothing

and then makes all the shit. The arrows, the bow, the axe, the knife. He actually sent me a obsidian knife that he made. Did he take you out and show you anything? He actually offered to take me out to go out on a... He does this thing with a, uh... Here's how to hit animals with big rocks. It's probably not as complicated as I thought it was.

I'm afraid to go out there with him, though, because what if I want to leave, like, I get too cold in the middle of the night? I'm like, hey, Donnie, psst. Hey, Donnie. Letting him down. I'm cold. Yeah, we are cold. That's the point, Donnie. I know, but Don, I... Listen, can you take me back to the car?

What do you mean, back to the... What are you talking about? We just got here. I know, but I'm just a little... It's the first night. I'm starving. I'm hungry. And you haven't killed anything yet.

And I really need to eat. Bobby, I gotta be honest. You could stand to be hungry for a while. Okay, well listen, I understand that. But I need to eat every three hours. You think we didn't feel uncomfortable sitting by the burn pits in Afghanistan every night? hungry for a while. Okay, well listen, I understand that. But I need to eat every three hours. You think we didn't feel uncomfortable sitting by the burn pits in Afghanistan every night? It gets uncomfortable out there, Bobby. I love your... Slurp down some of this honey

butter and go back to bed. Oh God, I want honey butter so bad. Can somebody go run and get honey butter? You've never had it? I've tried to make it, but I... It's hard to make because you have to... There is a... You can't do too much butter and you can't do too much honey or it's just shitty honey or shitty butter. But like, lots of restaurants have it. I've never had it. Never went to a restaurant that had honey butter in my life. Name one.

Really? You never sat down at a brunch brought with mini crescents. Tim, I don't know if you know this about me. I'm not gonna lie about honey butter. Normally. I will lie about other things my love for you that I'm jealous of Jacob. I'll lie about that But I will not lie about honey butter. I swear I won't do that. I will not do that. No, I've never had it I've never had a butter fair enough, but I also don't go to hipster places like you Tim I go to regular, you know blue collar, you know pancake house. Get the fuck out of here I've seen the tiny bag you wear on the fucking hipster get the fuck out you get the over-the-shoulder

You got the black millionaire CEO tiny bag. This is that show Facebook marketplace. Yeah, look at that thing, dude You get up at 3 a.m. Every day to fucking dunk your face in ice water Is this is this something that Jacobs Is this something that Jacob's getting you to do? I don't like it, Tim. I'm trying to create an opening for you, Jay. You could dive in at any second here. I don't like this 48-hour go-bag that he spent a lot of money on.

Oh, my God. You were in a leather... Look at you. You're jumping in, aren't you, you piece of shit? Oh, my God, Jacob, you're gonna get it. You're on the list. Yes, Black Lou, what's up? Texas Roadhouse, a place that you were talking about, their amazing buns. Oh, big hipster restaurant. They have restaurant butter. They don't have honey butter It's not honey butter. Is that different? It's not honey

It's honey cinnamon honey the honey bunny we're talking about is like mainly honey with butter on top and then you melt it It's it's like it's like honey, but with a little butter That's like just butter with some honey in it like I'm gonna argue fat semantics with you right now, you're out of your goddamn mind. Buddy, it's not, am I crazy? Honey butter that we're talking about is not the stuff at Texas Roadhouse. It absolutely is.

It's just as much fat content as possible. Can you bring up honey butter on the Outdoor Boys? It is not the same, Tim. I will fucking die on this battlefield. You might. It is not, it is not. Butter, if it's too much butter if it's if it's whipped butter. It's not the honey butter The honey it's easier to mix with the honey no because you can't put no take a fork you whisk them together

No, you gotta be able to pour the honey butter on the bread puts over the fire It all gets very viscous and runs. No it does not it. Yes, it does. It's mainly honey. Watch, look at it. Here you go. This is, we're looking at, this is the Outdoor Boys, if you wanna check it out. My favorite YouTube family. Yeah, Bobby's gonna describe a video of butter right now.

It's not like I haven't done it before. It's not like I haven't done it before, Tim. And I don't like your fucking attitude. I'm not fucking feeling it. You know what, Jacob? You can have him. How's that? I'm done with him. I don't like your fucking attitude. I'm not fucking feeling it. You know what Jacob you can have I'm done with it. I don't want him anymore Play it play it play

Not me oh god Here it is there is right there. There's a little jar of it, okay, that's honey Mostly he's putting on the fire right cuz he has to eat up cuz it's frozen Right and so it's completely liquefied liquefied the butter is on the top mostly honey. I would say right Yes, probably 50 50. No, not 50 50 50 50 50 50 and he's just agreeing with you. I'm not backing down. I Love ways no And he's just agreeing with you. I'm not backing down. I Love wait, there's no other agree He's talking about yeah, Jacob would agree with me if it wasn't you look No, my side. Yeah, it's mostly honey. No. Yes 100%

Here it goes ready. He's making the bread, which I love Luckily, could you run the store and grab us a jar of? Honey honey and then some butter Two different styles of butter. Here it is, ready? Watch. I'll take whipped and unwipped. Look, it shakes it. You can't do that with...

Melted butter? You're fucking crazy. What are you talking about? Excuse me one second. Go ahead. Slow down. Sure. Texas Roadhouse, their honey butter is butter.

It is no... Bring up Texas Roadhouse butter. You can't shake it. It's regular hard butter. If you microwaved it for 30 seconds, it would be identical. Okay, so you go into the kitchen and go, Hey, can I use your microwave for a sec? The only difference is the temperature!

It's not. You can't microwave the butter from that. This will not get hard. This is mostly honey. You just said it was frozen. Because it's honey! Bobby Bobby put the honey on the bottom in the jar and then he poured honey on top and then he he closed it and he when he got to the campfire it was frozen frozen because he's in Alaska and then he put it on the fire and it melt

everything melt everything and they shook it so what that's honey and butter but what you're that's look at that's not the same thing No, that's cinnamon honey butter. That's cinnamon honey butter. It's kind of different thing. So I'm sorry Tim. I'm over here But if you melted it, it would be the same thing. It's not the same thing. You know that It's not the same thing sure. It's the same thing as something at like a hipster brunch place though Where you imagine me, but is that the same thing? Tip the the honey butter is what I would imagine you having not that okay that's garbage that's garbage it tastes really good though I'll take that does taste good but they change the bun so it's not

but it would melt down the same exact way and it's fine I don't think so I'd like to actually do this can we get a can we get some butter in here and make this happen but I think that's it's whipped it's whipped and it has cinnamon that's like you difference whoa you're whipped right dude Jacob at some point you gotta stand up for yourself man I can't watch this all day this is crazy he gets this way when he's away from Mike Kalta too long Wow. He's my best friend. Wow. He did a whole show defending him. First of all. My best friend. First of all, number one best friend. My number one best friend, Mike Alba.

You're just mad at us because we called you Hannah Gatsby yesterday. You dressed like a lesbian. You're mad at me. She dressed like me. You dressed manly today for Tim, I tell you that. You untucked your shirt. I just threw this on. I just threw this on.

He just threw it on. I just threw this on. He threw it on. I just threw this on. I just threw your shirt. I just threw this on. I just threw this on. It's just my guy clothes. I just threw this on. He threw it on. He's got a tape measure on his belt. Oh, that, yeah, I must have forgot about it.

Can I say I hate this photo because my belt is sagging. You hate this photo because you look like a lesbian. It went below my fan button. Yeah, your little lesbian stomach is sticking out. That's why. I don't have a stomach problem. Lesbian. Jacob's getting fucking feisty.

I'm actually getting a little bit stomach is sticking out that's why I don't have a stomach problem Jacob's getting fucking feisty I'm actually you told me when I took it suck in your stomach and like mmm there's nothing to do there your belt didn't get the memo no why that was posted you somebody somebody Lewis could have told me pick up your belt makes me mental Hers she's got the sleeves rolled up and untucked These are belts in the right place. I didn't know Cuz I guess it's funnier to not tell me. That is fucking ridiculous. It sucks.

It really sucks that you guys are the same person. She's, she shops at Banana Republic like me. So anyways. That is like a very teenager at a wedding outfit. Timmy, last time I was on your show, we were talking about all this conspiracy stuff that you were talking about. You were talking about, what's her name?

Oh, the first lady of France who's actually born a man and is the biological father of the president that she's married to, yes, Brigitte Macron. But she's actually a man. But she's actually born a man. But she was actually grooming him back in the day because he- Right, and this is not a conspiracy.

This is all a matter of fact. This is a fact. Yeah, unfortunately. I hate this. I wish this wasn't true Why do you wish it wasn't true? Well, I just hate living in the world where that's happening You know what I mean? It's none of my business so I can go on with my life But that's what it is that was born a man and what might have been the father of the man She's married to but what? But why did don't they have kids they have no kids? Lots of people have kids, you know, but do they have a kid? I don't they have kids? They have no kids. Or do they adopt? I mean lots of people have kids, you know what I mean?

But do they have a kid? I don't know. That's not my business, you know? I don't like to get kids involved. Right. But did they, because if they adopted the kid, then that is a sure-tell sign. Now this is supposed to be a man.

Yes. That's a man. That's a man, baby. And that's the president of France, and that's his wife. And she is, I think, 30 years older than him. They got together when she was 40 and he was 15, and she was a teacher at his high school. And she was born a man, so.

Yeah. Gross. Double gross. But is she still a man? Do they know that? Does she still have a wee-wee? Well, you know, that's- Did she get the operation?

Did she become, did she she transition is what I'm saying Good, that's a really good question. She keep the good So she's she's had a long-standing relationship with a top like cosmetic surgeon in France who is actually known as like one of the like foremost Like gender reassignment surgeons like especially in the face and stuff. So I don't know, it's not my business what anyone does with their private parts, but the public parts are pretty fucked up, dude.

But it's funny because they're saying that it's not true. I looked into it after I left the show. But they're not saying that it's not true. They're saying every detail around it is wrong, but they won't say that she was born a woman. And does she come out and say it at all? Does she defend herself?

No, this is all like behind the scenes legal battle, lawyers sending the letters to journalists and stuff like that. And Candace Owens, who is kind of a fucking putz, but you gotta get your info somewhere. Is this where you get your info from? On this, yeah. Yeah.

Wait, but, okay, so not only is she trans, she's his dad? Somewhere is this where you get your phone on this? Yeah Wait, but okay. So not only is she trans she's his dad. That's right. What? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Timmy. I think I there's no way I'm remembering that right, but I'm pretty sure that's the gist of it Wait a minute. She's the, his dad? Yeah. Biological. Right, yes. So he had sex with a woman, had a son, became a woman, and became his wife. That's right.

Come on dude, that can't be legal. Not even in France. That can't be... Brother, when you're in the upper crust, you know, the laws don't apply to you. They don't even, they don't have any vision on you, man. You can do whatever the fuck you want. You made enough money, you could become a woman and marry Max. You work really hard, do you?

Yeah, you really... Max wouldn't listen, Max, Max is not into me. I remember that. Now. I was telling Jacob the other day, I was in bed with him, you know, at night he'll go to sleep and most of the time Donald will go down and lie down with him and read with him and stuff. I went in and I read with him and he falls asleep, and at one point he fell asleep

and then he put his arm over me and he kind of pulled me into him to hold me. And I fucking lit up. I was just like, I've never felt a high, a drug, alcohol, a moment in this business, any show, any accolade has ever filled me up that much. I mean, I literally was just smiling, like I couldn't believe it,

and I realized it's because this is beautiful, but also in my life I've never done it. I never had a father, I never had a man to hold that loved me, and that I, you know, so it was, and I actually turned to him and I put my forehead on his forehead and I was like, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud to be your father. And Max, I wanna tell you, I love you so much.

And he looked at me and he goes, dad, this is gay. I was like, yes. Damn, that's the last time it's ever gonna happen. It's a little gay, I'm sorry. I thought we were gonna have some type of moment, some hallmark moment, but you know, I am living my fatherless childhood through you right now. You've had a great life, you don't really know pain.

And this is gay. Yeah, I had a monstrous childhood too, and my kids have no idea what it's like, and when I try to explain them, like, this actually is rules, they're going, no, this is normal. Yeah. You know what I mean, this isn't remarkable at all. I'm like, no, actually, we kind of overcame some odds here.

They do not get it at all. So because today- So they think I'm gay. Yeah, they think it's gay to love them and be like, the things that he does and I see him, sometimes I just start crying because he's just hanging out, doing something cool, and I'm just like, I never had that.

No way, man. I can never imagine this for myself. Dude, when I used to take them to movies, like kid movies, and they're always sad, there's always some tragic shit that happens. I think I took them to one. What's the one with the carnival, where the girl makes a carnival in her house

with her mom and dad, and then her mom gets cancer, like the first eight minutes of the movie has to go away, and she's just gone. Doesn't ring a bell rebel and then I'm just crying in the theater and Max is looking at me like oh boy and he's like covering my eyes he's like dad can you stop I'm like but this like the mom is gone oh he's not a crier though he's not a cry we're criers he's not a cry he cries a little bit like he cried the other night he got in trouble at school. And he cried. What'd he get in trouble for? He, uh... that's it right there. Wanda Park.

It's a fucking cartoon. I thought he cried on a cartoon. I cried. Buddy, I'm a crier. These look like toilet paper commercial animals. I do. I was fucking blubbering in the theater, and the mother had to go away, and the... Baby!

The park... the park started... all the stuff was... she took down all the stuff they used to make together and then Max is looking at me like, you pussy, stop! And I'm like, the mom's got cancer! Why is he going... Dude, I can't, I can't. I mean, Lou, are you crying in these kid things? I haven't yet. Buddy, I cry. This one fucked me up.

This one fucked me up. Yeah, that's the mom. And they're doing all this stuff. Now cut to the, when the mom, she has to leave, she has a bandana on her head. It's like, oh God, they never mentioned the cancer, but you know She's got cancer cuz she lost all her hair look at She's gonna take her away To do some like study treatment Is the rest of the movie kind of like upbeat and this is the only sad part?

No, man, it gets sadder and then it picked look at the mom look at she's really I can't shut it off I know and they don't tell you it's supposed to be Wonder Park I thought it was gonna be this fun thing watch this the whole thing she starts taking this carnival in her mind Max You took into the gayest most boring movie ever he's like dad this sucks. Let's go. He hates it, dude He hated it. He fell asleep halfway through. I'm just wiping my nose Oh my god He hated it. He fell asleep halfway through. I'm sitting there just wiping my nose. Oh no. Oh my God. Yeah, you do have to make movies specifically

for the children who lose their parents to like horrific tragedies. Like they do exist. They do need stuff for them. But what's the percentage of that? I don't know, man. That's why no one else has heard of this. Let me tell you this.

This movie was actually for you. I stopped watching. Today today I actually went to, I went to watch Righteous Gemstones from the beginning. Every single show I watch is fucking sad and depressing. Everything I'm watching on TV has, I can't take it anymore, because I fell into some weird depression today. It happened like that.

Like I was, hey, what's up? And then I just was in bed with the covers on, and I was like, I don't know if I, I just gonna lie here. Because all these fucking shows that are on TV are so sad and fucked up. I'm watching that 1923, every fucking scene, she got, she's in the, she gets the train, she gets mugged at the train station.

She gets on the train, has no money. They give her a job on the train to get food. The guy finger fucks her in the cart while she's pouring his tea. She beats him up to protect herself. They arrest her for assaulting a guy. It's like, I can't live like that. I need a hero.

I need some happiness. Yeah, they're turning America into fucking Monstropolis And they just need us all sad so they can extract their all of our resources. That's another White Lotus they got the brothers jacking each other off. That's a fucking nightmare Sorry spoiler Well white lotus the fucking rich boys fucking jacked each other off dude, it's like you tell me man I don't know your guess is as good as mine They just did it and I wonder how much more common incest is then it's obviously talked about

Well, you would think watching this it's a pretty prevalent thing I have a bunch of brothers and a sister and it's like bro. I've never even been nice to each other Pieces off hey, I hate you, but I'm gonna lick you put a five-star hotel Let's make up for today Let's see what happens Hollywood cannot write heroes anymore and they don't write them. They're all I don't know man. It's just sad It was just fucking depressing every show I was watching zero zero zero and everybody's just it, it was just fucking depressing. Every show, I was watching 000,

and everybody's just, it's a show about- It's drugs. It's drugs, but it's the mafia, the Italian mafia and the cartels, which I kinda like that they mixed those two finally, and then the rich white fucking people. And, but everybody's dying in that. It's like the father's dead, the kid has an ear,

he can't hear, I mean everybody's fucking dying. It's like I need some happiness. And I finally put on the righteous gemstones, and it's the funniest thing ever. But, and then I'm sitting there, and I watched the third season first, and what's his name? The uncle, what's his name?

Uncle Baby Billy. Uncle Baby Billy, who's my favorite. His dick is just out. I'm like, yeah, dude. Yeah, but it made me sad because my dick is nowhere near how fucking awesome is that hang? You're not swinging like Walton Goggins. He's got Walton Goggins.

His dick is exactly what I thought Walton Goggins. Walton Gaggins. Gaggins is right. But even though one nut I think is bigger, a little tiny nut on the back end, which I didn't like. I don't even know if I could do that. I'd have to turn down a roll. If they were like, yeah, we want to put

your righteous Dempsey on your main character, but there's one scene where your dick's hanging out, which I didn't like. I don't even know if I could do that. I'd have to turn down a role. If they were like, yeah, we're gonna put your righteous Dempsey on your main character, but there's one scene where your dick's hanging out, I'd be like, I politely pass on this role. Yeah, thank you, but thank you. But we're gonna pay you, you're gonna make millions, and we're gonna have you in the rest of the, every season from now on, you're gonna be famous.

I'm sorry, but thank you very much. I'm gonna go back to the bonfire, where my ding ding will never be shown. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but what if what if it was so remarkably small that like that became like a thing and you were the only guy You know willing to do that like a hangover. Yeah, maybe that happened. Remember the Asian guy. What's his name? Dr. Kim? Dr. Kim Ken Jong Ken Jong Jong. That's the that's the reason why I became famous his dick was so small They thought it was fake, but it was his real dick.

And they were like, you're famous. He's been famous ever since. How embarrassing would it be to have the second smallest penis? That would really suck, man. Well because- You're not making a name for yourself. Yeah, you can't even, you need the smallest,

look at it. I mean, zoom in on that if you can. It's crazy, he's a micro penis. He has a micro penis. And it made him famous. It made him famous. Hey man, it's all it penis, he has a micro penis. And it made him famous. It made him famous. Maybe I should try it. Maybe I should take a picture of my cock

and put it out there. Get it to your agent. I don't have an agent, I think it fired them too. Anyways dude, the reason why I was bringing that up because you said you have a bad childhood but I fucking called your mother a cunt today. And I heard me. Oh yeah, by the way,

I'm so sorry. Let's take two steps back. So, Jacob, you're saying, hey, I'm excited, Sam's coming in today. Bobby called me, under false pretenses, by the way, and I missed this call. And when I called him back, he goes,

yo, and then I guess I heard his brakes slam, and he goes, your mother's a cunt! And I was just call. And when I called him back, he goes, yo. And then I guess I heard his brakes slam, and he goes, your mother's a cunt. And I was just like, what? My go-to in a car accident. Everybody has their go-to when they get about to die. Mine is your mother's a cunt. And the car in front of me stopped on the sawmill, and I went, hey, and you went, hey,

and I went, your mother's a cunt. And my bag flew, my backpack flew into the bottom of the passenger seat, which means I can't get anything out of my bag for the rest of the ride. But for half a second I went, is this the real Bobby? But I felt terrible. Is this the day I find out that he's an absolute motherfucker?

I apologized immensely. It was fine. And then you went, my mother is a cunt. Which I felt better. Was your mother really a guy? Yeah, she was taken by the opioid epidemic died no just really like Got a hold of her and like ruin my life. Yeah. Yeah, so I had a pretty rough childhood to me

Geez, you know did you fought was your father around? Yeah, my dad's the best guy ever though Your dad's the best guy, but there's no making up for that. You know yeah Yeah, yeah, my dad was my dad was a drug addict. My real dad. Who would blame his shit ever? Isn't that so fucking gay? Don't you look at your children in the eyes and you go, wow, man, could you imagine

wanting something else more than this? That's fucking crazy to me. It's nuts that I can't imagine that my father, my real father, knows that he has a grandson out there and he doesn't wanna fucking meet him. Yeah, what a bitch. And how cool Max is. Like, you know he's on my social media. I know people have sent you stuff.

I talked to his brother, and it's crazy to me that he's not, I wanna meet this kid. It doesn't, and I also think about, I couldn't imagine, no matter what would happen, that I would want to leave his life. Sure. I don't care if I caught Don bangin' somebody. I'd be like, I caught Don banging somebody,

I'd be like, I'm still staying until he's gone. And I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna watch you bang. Yeah, duh. Yeah, of course. That's going in the bank, yeah. Yeah, it's going in the bank. I'm gonna put my room next to him.

And maybe the humiliation I feel from that actually does something for me too. Right, yeah. Sure. Yeah, actually maybe this is what we've been missing this whole time and we can really work things out now. Yeah. I just met a cuck and my penis doesn't cut it for you. And then I really get aroused watching you get it.

Yeah, I like how it looks uncomfortable for you in a way, but you seem to enjoy that more. Yeah, that's pretty good, babe. I love hearing you go, "'Ow, ow.'" -"Ah." -"Ah." That's what I heard you do when you stubbed your toe. -"Ah." -"Ooh."

I don't think my wife does make sex when we... That's the first time I heard you do that when you stubbed your toe. I don't think my wife does make sex when we, I mean noise when we have sex. I don't remember her going. No. Because there's no music to cover it up. I don't think there's any. I've never heard her go, oh yeah. I've only heard, I've heard breath.

It's like whimpering. Yeah. It's more whimpering. Yeah. It's more of a, more of a, this is over. Do you guys ever talk to each other during sex? That's a good question. Not even just dirty talk, just checking in.

I've made her, you know what I've done? I've made her laugh. I've made her, I've used to, every once I almost why I would just be fucking stupid and make her I like fucking her and then making a really hysterically laugh and do something stupid She squeezes an extra hard. No, just be like, yo, you'd be putting an in good wood your woman and she's like what? Well, you still a voice for That wasn't slave voice. I'm an awful hot out there on the field. I like a woman from Boston.

White women from Boston is hard to get. That pussy woman in Miami's dumplings. She tried to do role playing once, but she just sucks at acting. She just fucking stinks. What was her scenario? We had a nurse scenario And we did a massage scenario the massage when she didn't want to do because she worked at a salon She did I'm like, but you're an esthetician. It's not even the same fucking ballpark. I want you know massage

I want you to be a Chinese lady. Yeah, I want you to be a middle-aged He's one with fucking bad toes, you know Okay, and I hear your tiny flip-flops hitting the little anoleum while I take my penis out of my towel Yeah, I don't want you to pop zits. I want you to fuck it Slowly get to my asshole and put a finger and go Okay, and then I open my ass and present to you like a gay man And then we finish and I put you back in the shipping container But yeah, she wouldn't do that and then she did a nurse

Sexy nurse or like light blue scrubs nurse. She did like a fucking regular nurse. It sucked stressed out She came in like hello, mr. Kelly. I'm like You were ready to act. I mean, yeah, but I know you can get into characters, so. Yeah. You're being sick. I like role playing. And when I was single and I was dating, there was a couple girls who I really connected with sexually. Not personally. And it's sad because a lot of the times

I connected with a girl sexually, personally we couldn't hang out. Like as soon as we were done, it's like we annoy each other. But sexually, we were meant to be together. And a couple of the girls, we did some good, good, fuck it. We did some good sex. I could have filmed it. I could have filmed it.

Like good, and they stayed in character. They made choices. Oh God, man, when they make their own little business, you know what I mean? They bring maybe a cup into the room and they're gonna drink while they, you know. Anyways, is that your deck, huh? One way acting must have been,

I know you were like, ugh, something's wrong. And then your wife's like, nothing. Well, she was supposed to come in and give me a table, you know, a shower, a bed shower, you know what I mean? And you know, I was supposed to be sick and paralyzed. Pose you down like a marine mammal. Yeah, like an elephant, like a baby elephant. You were paralyzed?

I was supposed to be, not paralyzed, but I couldn't move, I was very sick. And she came in and then she just turned back into herself too quick. She's like, I can't act. I'm like, stop being insecure. It's not, you're not getting a part. You're not in the business.

I'm not introducing you to my manager. Just fucking. Take a part. You're not in the business. I'm not I'm not Introducing you to my manager. It's just just fucking take a breath. Yeah leave it Yes, and Back from one. Let's go. I mean have you ever done that stuff? Yeah, I've experimented with some stuff Yeah, I like it. I like it, but we don't do that anymore Not characters or anything like that, but definitely some boundary pushing, you know, like what well Definitely some Like maybe non-consensual stuff. We've tried. Yeah, I didn't like it very much

Oh, she she raped you kind of well, I don't know if I would use those words specifically Rape a pretty serious. She she blackmailed you. Yeah. Well, yeah, I guess was a little bit more direct than that They're probably somewhere in the middle of those two but but man. Oh man. That was really embarrassing for me Yeah, it felt weird pretending a girl could overpower me. I really wasn't comfortable with that aspect at all Yeah, I don't like to do that. I don't like like when a girl gets physical which starts slapping you because I really have to restrain Just it's like one one would do it. Yeah one It's like one one would do it. Yeah one You know what my wife told me this week was that she my wife revealed to me that in moments of contention

She imagined punching me in the face I've had I had my wife say the same thing. She's going through menopause and I saw her neck get red And I was like, what does it feel like? She goes, well, my spine. She's charging up her laser. She goes, my spine gets really hot and it goes up into my head and my chest. And then it goes into my brain and I wanna rip your spine out of your body and step on it when you speak.

And I'm like, okay. And I slowly backed out of the room and there you go. Whoa, have you ever imagined hitting her? Pfft. This morning Talking about oh my god. I'm brand new to it Oh, I'm I've imagined punching myself my wife in the face for the very first time two nights ago And I was just like what it was like staring into the fucking crystal ball and Lord of the Rings where you got the players

I was in the Palantir dude that was fucking was fucking crazy. The devastation I would cause. Yeah, it's, I've had to walk out of the room, let's say. Leave the house. But I could never hit her. My wife could probably take me too. You know what I mean? You're a pretty tough guy. You know all kinds of martial arts.

I talk tough, but I'm pretty sure Dawn would just fucking hit me in the nuts and then, you know. Actually fight dirty. Yeah, she has she had four brothers She had three older brothers that were like six four that used to beat her up all the time I know it sucked for me in front of my son to hit my wife and then her to beat the shit out of me Yeah, she takes it. She takes it and then kicks my ass. She does like the cool Asian guy thumb on the like bloody lip Doing the come here. Come here. I'm like what?

And then Max, she goes Max let's go and Max just leaves with her. I never see them again. She just gives me the house. She's so alpha. All right listen we're going to take a break. We have a very special guest. Everybody loves him. Everybody I guess in here loves him, especially me and Jacob.

Big Jay is out in Austin. He's doing the story wars out in Austin. And he's also doing Rogan, but make sure you check out his special, Them. He's very close to a million. I think 20,000 left, if not there. YouTube.com slash at big Jay Okerson make sure you check and they is cuz that's them they the next special is coming out on 420 at the same website and Tim Butterly he's going to be all over the place he's going to be in Ontario Canada in Kitchener, Delhi, Shelburne, Toronto April 3rd through the 6th after that he'll be in South Bend, Indiana April 11th through the 12th for tickets and all other info Tim butterly.com and subscribe to the Tim butterly show at youtube.com Tim butterly one of our favorite people here

I love him so much hilarious and go to my website punchup.live Slash Robert Kelly for my special and all my other stuff. I'm gonna be at the Zanies in Nashville April 9th and we're doing bonfire out there in Nashville that week too. And I'm doing story wars that night. So pack that room up, go get the tickets at zanies.com or punchup.live slash Robert Kelly. We'll be right back with more bonfire in just a second.