The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Jake and the Skatman
Episode Date: February 16, 2024Jacob enrages DJ Lou and Bobby can't handle a video of a Teen Mom unclogging her trumpet. ...
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I'm Bobby Kelly.
And it's Big J. O'Kersen.
We're actually a full radio show on Serious XM,
not just a podcast.
For full episodes of The Bonfire,
you can listen on the Serious XM app.
Go to seriesxm.com slash bonfire for a special offer.
And now, The Bonfire with Big J. O'Kersen and Robert Kelly.
Everybody wants to.
Oh, the stroke master himself.
Oh, Jay, you make me laugh, kid.
You really are.
Holy shit. I believe you. You, let me you me tell you something Jay why you're a great actor
You can suck you can so subtly
Change your emotion from your eye to your mouth to your laugh to your ears to your nose
You can say something without saying it on different parts of your face.
Master manipulator. Oh my God.
You J. O'grison genius. Genius. Genius.
We're just talking about Bon Jovi. I was talking about Billy Squire,
who I love, who ruined his career because of dance.
Rune his career because of his dance. That by the way,
today would be called brave. Brave. What he did was brave.
He put on a powder blue and a pink tank top.
Yeah, one on one off a shoulder.
One off the shoulder and danced around a room.
On his belly.
All alone.
Yeah.
Just like a girl.
Preparing for a date.
It was I don't know whose idea it was.
I know.
It's been gone.
I've watched so many documentaries on it.
It must have felt so good when he was doing it though. He's been gone. I've watched so many documentaries on it. It must have
felt so good when he was doing it though. He's like, here I am, dude. I'm about to rack my
way right into the 80s. I'm gonna, the 80s. Here I come. Here comes Billy Squire. Yeah.
Cindy Lopper, move the fuck over. Move the fuck over. Oh, you guys want pastels? Heavy
pastels? I got you. Yeah. But Billy Squire fans were like what the frig are you doing?
That's when Billy Billy Joe just started wearing black suits. Yeah, you know what? I'm not gonna take a shot at this I ain't taking a shot at color
Good song. I
Like that. This is when the synth came in they show his awful body
Really, that's an awful body. It's not a body. Shut up. Yeah, shut up. I'm saying more the idea. He walks around like...
It's the... He ripped the sleeve off the shoulder or whatever designer did.
And it's hanging. It's blouse.
Oh, this changes. This gets... Yeah.
The off the shoulder hang.
It's the dance. It's the dance.
I know we talked about this before, but it's just...
Oh, this is come up on the show once a a year every year. We've done it because it really
I go back. I'll catch a couple of squire songs on the radio and I'll be like
This is gonna be oh, yeah, he was so good. And then you got to go. Oh, right. He fucking yeah
Well, he did the gay elbow crawl across the room
Everything is so chickish in this. Yeah, but like you said,
you did make your valid point right now.
If he did this, brave.
In fact, his best move would be like,
hey guys, this is my coming act,
let you know I'm bisexual.
Whoa!
I have sex with men and women.
Thank you.
Very brave of me. No hole is off limits to me. Thank you. Very brave of me.
No hole is off limits to me.
Thank you.
Thank you, everybody.
As soon as I feel comfortable, I'll be just man, just man.
I got ease into it.
Suck on, cock.
That's the second part of the song
when he puts on the pink tank top to dance.
He does a costume change in the middle.
But he, but he, but he tied it in a knot.
He tied them in knots on the side. Oh, yeah, the knots,
the knots, this stupid designer took him down. I would love to, I would love to meet the,
the person who designed this, who came up, who tied the knots and ripped the sleeve off.
I would love, I know that person exists. And I want to tell you who it was. Yeah. It was
a guy who was not quite out of the closet yet. Do you know I mean it was a video director?
All right
Producer who hasn't come out of the closet yet. So he's like dude. You know what chicks will love
Yeah, if you act exactly like them and dance alone in a room like fucking Janet Jackson and pleasure principle
I know it makes you mad about this whole video the worst is that messy bed. I don't love that
Before we get into a costume change dancing routine, let's get that bed right
Yeah, oh god his dance stinks and he gave everything to it
Yeah, he loved it. Oh that backwards with this he's got the finger and the thumb touching Oh, he's snapping snapping has never been manly now we're on the bed
No, unless you're in front of a fire with a bunch of other dudes like outside in the coal you can snap that's about it
Nothing about his songs or his personality gave this off. No not not for his first handful of hits
Rock me tonight by Billy Squire, Christine. On the stage, all of his stuff was on stage
with his band killing it.
T-shirt and jeans.
T-shirt, jeans, nice body.
Solid bod.
Solid bod.
I don't see a muscle anywhere.
Buddy, back then it's rock cute.
Doesn't matter, dude.
It's rock cute, dude.
It was, he had the natural physique of thin guy.
Like a Jim Morrison?
Sure.
Yeah, like Eddie Vedder. Him and Eddie have the same body. Look how himself it is. a physique of thin guy. Like a Jim Morrison? Sure.
Yeah, Eddie Vedder.
Him and Eddie have the same body.
Look how himself it is.
No woman.
Eddie is a way better dancer.
No.
Better?
Yeah.
I bet that's not true.
Christine.
Please bring up whatever, Christine.
I'm curious to see this if you mean that.
I'm saying Billy Squire is not,
he's very rhythmically dancing.
He's not doing a bad job if he was a homosexual man.
Yeah, he's swishing around.
Yeah, swishing. Good word, swishing.
You know, I don't see myself as a twin.
But I say he's good at it.
This is not a pile up on Lou Eddie Vedder dig.
Is Eddie Vedder dance?
Yeah.
Pleasure that.
Eddie Vedder dances?
Of course he does.
I'll tell you who dances, who I know, who I accepted from.
Not Billy Squire.
Paul Stanley.
I accepted from Paul Stanley.
And that's the silly dance.
And you love it.
That's not silly at all.
Look, Eddie Vedder dances like you.
I know.
Wait, when you dance, Lou, are you
trying to do Eddie Vedder dances?
Wow, we uncovered it.
Oh, Jacob, you're like, so if I can't hear you cackling,
Jacob, you're like, is way off.
I can't.
We can't go down here again. Jacob, if we're going down this road, you might have to go wait in the lobby. Yeah, you can't. We can't hear you cackling Jacob you might as well I can't we can't go down again if we're going on this road you might have to go wait in the
lobby yeah yeah we can't Lou Lou this is not better dancing than Billy squire
I apologize it's not compare them compare you say in this
top he's just playing guitar Lou Lou Lou. Take a breath.
Settle down before you get the show canceled.
Yes, you can't be the best at everything.
Lou was about to say some shit
that was going to get this show thrown out.
You guys are right.
Let's go back to 1992 of who you think this man is.
And let's just end it there.
Jeremy spoke in class today.
We're done.
What?
And now you're angry.
And now you got angry.
Really?
Squire.
Lou Lou.
Your bands are all retired.
Mine's going on tour.
Good night.
Billy is in Long Island next Saturday in the afternoon.
Googly eyes?
Yeah.
Let's see him dance.
We can see him at this clamshack.
Is Billy Squire still playing?
Nah, he's still playing.
Was that song stroke it?
That's the one that killed his career.
No, the one where we're just playing rock,
me tonight, Kristen.
All right, there he is.
Wait, wait, wait.
Look, that's the same thing Billy's doing. That's the same that killed his career. No the one we're just playing rock me tonight. There is there wait wait wait What is that's the same thing Billy's doing? That's the same thing Billy's doing
He's doing the knees together back and forth swaying look at this move. Yeah. Oh god. Oh
Fantastic Luke take your headphones off for a second
Take your headphones off. Thank you. You're doing a fantastic job of back pedaling now and saying, oh, you know what?
Wait a second.
Now I see that Eddie Vedder is a better dancer.
I'll come around too.
Like you do that again.
And then I'll come around too.
Christine, if you could please bring up
black up some dancing, Eddie Vedder please.
Oh, look at that.
Look at that.
You can pop your headphones back on, buddy.
Yeah, go ahead, Luke.
Listen, yeah, dude, no,'s I mean look at that right there
Look at bang bang up and down. Okay, you know what? This is a longer video than I thought and I'll be honest with you
Eddie Vedder is actually a much better dancer than Billy squire much better Lou apologies, dude. Yeah, no look at him go
That's pretty squire right there. I mean he's wearing the same jacket
Look Lou granted did Billy squire do a completely choreographed
four and a half minute routine that blows us out of the water? Sure, but that was one time.
We're talking about on the day to day. Vetter's got, oh, look at that, dude. Oh,
Vetter on top of a chair doing the twisty twist? Oh, yeah, I call that the drunk guy to party
who people are hoping leave soon. Oh, look at that. That jacket. That jacket's not, that jacket's
not silly. Lou, I actually take it back. You're way right.
Any better is rhythm.
Oh, God, I swear to you, the one picture because his hair was short.
I thought it was Justin Timberlake up there dancing, but it wasn't.
He's a fantastic dancer.
He's pretty good.
You're right.
Oh, is this him doing his evil Knievel shit?
Oh, that shit.
Holy fuck me.
Yeah.
Josh, that's one hell of a dance move. what Josh does. That's what I'm dancing.
That's one hell of a dance move. First of all, he slipped, which is hilarious.
And second of all, that's dangerous, Lou.
Your guys can't do that. Whatever band you like, he can't do what my guy can do.
Yeah, because they're not-
He doesn't do this anymore.
He can't do that anymore.
You're not a fucking chance he would do that today.
In a million years, you couldn't pay him enough money.
Stage dive compilation, Christina.
Jay, at least we know what the evening Eddie Vedder
loo post is gonna be tonight.
Oh, Jacob, you're blocked and reported,
so you can't say you were fucking nerd.
I reported you for being a fucking c***.
Oh, no, loo!
Loo!
Loo!
Loo!
Let me get this laugh dry fucking Halloween witch
What is that troubadour shit you like you're not a cowboy you're a fool fucking Florida is stupid
Hey Lou go go enjoy your all your saggy old ball bag tour
Whatever your hot chicks
Swamp and swims with sharks.
I thought this was under here.
Your opinion means nothing, you fuckface.
I'm gonna go see Pantera where there's no women and no dancing.
The Saggy 04 ball-back tour.
That's what it is this summer, Lou.
Enjoy.
All right, listen.
Well, stop clearing your throat, by the way.
Every sentence, I'm trying to make a promo
That's not true. I hit the dump button every hit it better. I do
All right, I'm gonna hit it 30 seconds when I need to reprimand you. Let me call me down for one second
I ask you sir. Eddie Vedder is currently hanging from a scaffolding by his hands. Is this considered dancing?
I've moved on from the dancing.
I don't want you to yell at me.
I just want to know if this is dancing.
I think this is more of a stunt.
I just want some goddamn respect.
It's not a stunt.
It's how the concert goes.
Your mic is off, asshole.
No, this is a stunt.
But I mean, it's a cool stunt.
I would be terrified of this.
I'd be out of no way to get down if I did this.
This part right here, when he holds onto the mic
and he pulls, and he slides down like repel,
is that like a stunt or is that more of a dance?
What is that?
It's not a dance, it's just he's taking the moment
very seriously.
Well, he better, he's gonna die if he falls.
That's what he's stuck.
But he hangs from rafters better than Billy Squire.
I think we can all admit that.
Yes, yes.
Billy Squire should hang from his-
Is, can I ask one serious question?
Buddy, Billy Squire could have died 15 years ago
and I just forgot.
That's how little I care about Billy Squire.
You can't hurt me with Billy Squire insults.
He's doing this to the music by the way
and he's singing up there.
Oh wait.
She's got a different audio.
Can he, let me ask you a question.
Oh, the energy is so much better now that he left. Lou seriously a serious question about Eddie because he just
repelled down off the mic cord. Is he Batman? He might be Batman. Is he is he
fighting crime? Do you think he's going to tour a little bit because he's out there most of the time
vigilante justice? Is he is that what he's doing? Is that when you say he does
more than other singers because he's the reason why I get so worked up in the cities is because it's my life's work
What's your life's work?
I'm pretty sure it's his life's work 30 years
I've been following this band and I wouldn't just follow some jerk offs.
No, this is your life's work.
This isn't your life's work.
It's currently right here.
Not fucking watching Pearl Jam.
That's a weird thing to say.
Can we not get mad at Lou for loving something?
I'm not mad at Lou for loving something?
I'm not mad at Lou at all.
I know, seriously.
So people go to fucking you.
For being grossly obsessed.
I mean, I don't have religion. This is it for me.
I got you, but I will say you shouldn't say
your life's work is something you haven't accomplished
by watching a band.
Yes, I'm a good fan.
And people like you need me.
Because you're the performer, I'm the fucking fan. I do not want any fans to call me their life's work I want to be
I should be the person that gets you through your life's work by entertaining
you through it I actually want a loo in my life I want a loo if there's a loo
out there that loves me as much as loo loves pro jam can you please contact me
I would love to have gifts and he He's already contacted you. Oh, he has. His name's T-Shirt Kevin.
T-Shirt Kevin.
T-Shirt Kevin.
T-Shirt Kevin.
T-Shirt Kevin.
We'll be in a rubble with you in dawn soon.
I got us a bungalow.
I got us a bungalow.
Bobby, where does Fedora?
And hang up so we can watch any better.
Is Jay coming?
Which McCall?
Well, this all came from because I told you
and you didn't believe me that Bon Jovi
which I did Uncle Vinny's this weekend,
shout out Uncle Vinny's, come on.
Shout out, sold out, all shows.
All shows.
Brian, David Brian came who is the keyboard player
for Bon Jovi, friend of mine, friend of yours,
friend of everybody's.
Friend of yours, does it still feel awesome
when he shows up?
You're like, damn dude, he came came that's the guy from by me?
I knew you always see the person now, but there's always something you have to go this guy's
He's fucking played keyboard run away it's it's it's pretty wild, but he's so Gabby said he would come in he would come in
And of course I'll invite him in right now him his wife is awesome, too
She's the best.
And he brings all these friends too,
but you don't know who they are.
You know, there could be like the owner
of fucking Sony records, you know.
Those indescript type of white dudes,
we are like, is this guy like a gazillionaire
or just a dude that lives next door to the guy in Jersey?
But I was talking to him after the show,
they're going back on tour. They got a new album.
And I was like, yeah, but I hang on, hang on, hang on. I'm saying that you went, no, you went.
No, it's doing the music with the song.
Oh, sorry.
Eww.
Oh, sorry.
You are, you are good.
Very good.
Said, uh, Mr. Jovey, Bond, John.
Got his operation as a throat. He had something wrong with his voice for 15 years went in got the operation
His voice is back back to what it was 15 years ago
What was 15 years ago? I don't know. I saw him 10 years ago. Wasn't that fucking great? I said 15
That's not gonna help getting David Bryan in here
fucking great. I said 15. That's not gonna help getting David Bryan in here. Oh. Really? He has to like twist his mouth around you know like the way
Vince Neil has to sing. Yeah well that's not that he was just like I mean they
have those videos of him he's just not hitting the notes that he. Everything's
to low octave so cowboy. Honesty horse I ride. I mean that's the fans you got to
put the mic out to the fans. Which, by the way, depending on the price of ticket,
I will eventually start complaining
very out loud about that.
I'm like, I paid to watch you do it.
Seriously.
I want to be able to do that.
I wanna be like, come on everybody,
Marshmallow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you go.
Do you want hot chocolate with Marshmallow?
Marshmallow! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Do you want hot chocolate with
We got tickets we got to sell tickets we're at the Paramount Theatre March 21st
Me and big J if you are in Long Island or you're going to the show you got to buy tickets
You got about them tickets. You gotta get those tickets man. We got it. We got gonna sell it's a I think it's a thousand seats
Yeah, that was pretty big theater. Holy doo doo. No, we're good dude. We're good long strong island I haven't been out in strong island in a while
It's gonna be a good time
People are gonna come down you can come from Connecticut to that easy. It's easy out take the boat
Take the boat take the ferry you can come from the Hamptons
You can come from the Hamptons, you can come from the city, Queens, Brooklyn,
the Bronx.
If you're going to the show at eight o'clock you have to leave at twelve.
And if this is bothering you, this is hurting or helping you decide on whether to get tickets
or not, let me tell you, if you live in the Bronx, you can jump on the Clearview.
Clearview is going to shoot you right over.
You can have a couple options.
You've got the Cross Island, You can take the Southern State.
And I don't know if any of this is right.
You can take the 495.
It's going to take you five hours.
But listen, it's five hours with friends.
I thought there's an LAR right in the theater.
No, there absolutely is.
Huntington Station, for sure, is right there.
What is it called?
LAR.
LAR.
Long Island Railroad.
Yeah, there is.
There is, yeah, Huntington. Yeah, right to that venue. It's so easy to get there fromR. Long Island Railroad. Oh, Long Island Railroad. Yeah, there is.
There is, yeah.
Huntington City, yeah.
Right to that venue.
It's so easy to get there from here.
It's so easy.
Lou's going to come.
Sure.
I've done it before.
You guys, you're coming right?
No, I'll be in Florida.
Boo.
Jacob's had to go to Florida.
I told you, you booked it after I booked my trip.
What can I do?
Change your trip?
No, I can't do that.
Super family lives.
Why, what's happening that week is so important.
What's happening down there?
Well, don't repeat the question you already heard to find an answer.
What's happening that week?
That day that I can't be there?
I have it.
It's happening.
You can't change the ticket.
What do you mean?
Sure you can.
Change tickets all the time.
Maybe if you're J. O'Carson.
Why, what difference does it make?
They don't allow me to change the ticket. I lose the ticket. What's that? What are you
you flying? Frontier? Spirit. Oh you know what? No that is true. You can't do anything.
You made me say that on the air. Oh my lord why? Because the Delta's being a bunch of
cocks now. Here's why. You can fly Spirit to Frontier for $19 but if you try to
change it it's $ 3,000 times.
Take it to so padding on the seat for your narrow ass.
It hurts so much.
Those seats are made of concrete.
They're just plastic in cloth, right?
There's no joke.
It's the most uncomfortable seat you've ever sat in.
Yeah.
How much was it taken?
It's brutal.
Like $40, $30.
It was like $2.50 less than Delta.
Dude, Frontier, you go to Florida for like, I swear to God, 30 bucks. It was like 250 less than Delta. Dude, frontier you go to Florida for like,
I swear to God, 30 bucks.
Yeah. Yeah, 30 bucks.
Do you know where the seats are comfortable?
Paramount Theater in Huntington?
I know. So comfortable.
I wanted to be there.
We'll get VIP for you too.
But it's weird to say you wanted to be somewhere
that you can be.
Yeah.
I just said I can't.
Oh, well, that'll be the things you can.
This is switching from Lou over to Jacob here's an airplane going by
Luke could you play Pearl Jane black over this while we talk about how sad we are Jacob chooses just being in Florida
It's spending time with his two
hosts
Doing their first co-headline big show under the moniker of the bonfire. Can I also throw this in?
It hurts me to not please.
It's the one year anniversary of the bonfire 2.0.
The one year anniversary.
And we're celebrating it with our fans in Long Island
at a show and you could have,
maybe we could bring you guys on stage and you know.
I bought the ticket Bobby.
Yep, I know it works.
Who's going with you?
Soder, is that how you're celebrating?
I wanted to be there did you I have to lay low anyway from all the I don't want to run into any cat lovers there
They're being no, that'd be great if he came on stage and just threw fucking cats out his face. He's so great
I just got attacked the sky was blacked out with cats.
Jacob just shows up with scratches on his face.
I loved Samantha's poem yesterday so much.
So funny.
I might be falling for her.
Nobody's ever written a poem for me before.
Can I say something about this whole thing with the Lynn,
how we ended it, and we just picked Lynn as the one?
Did she send you a picture of your face on her, Chuch?
She did not.
Oh, because that-
Well, here's the thing,
is she sent the picture with your face.
Yes.
Right, but she has one of your face.
Of what?
Well, it's not out there.
I thought it should be our faces.
I said, well, this is pretty funny,
so I talked to T-shirt Kevin who made those.
Mm-hmm.
And said them to her. I said, I said this to Lynn and Kevin, I said, well this is pretty funny, so I talked to T-Shirt Kevin who made those. And said them to her.
I said, I said this to Lynn and Kevin, I go,
you should have put the face on the front.
So you get a shot of them being pulled aside,
showing haunch and your face next to it.
Haunch is one of my favorite words by the way for it.
That instinct wrinkle, but go ahead.
Those are good ones.
And then he said, T-Shirt Kevin said he knows so little about women's underwear
that he thought he did put him on the front.
You could have put him on a bra, you on one tit, me on the other, and another fun word
for those, monkey makers.
Okay.
I like that.
I don't mind that at all.
You take them out, we go, here you go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Maybe maybe because we got sidetracked from it. Wait a second Jacob has some thoughts. This is the guy who fought tooth and nail for Lynn. Exactly Jacob who's and whose face is on her ass?
It's supposed to be your pussy though, but mine and Bobby's I'm not I didn't see me
It exists Bobby. I promise you I didn't see it that that's fine and I'll take your word for it
I didn't see it the underwear on backwards and pull it to the side
and show your hooch while Bobby is...
Am I on the front?
Just put them on backwards.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
But Jacob, please express your dismay, because that's...
That's no problem.
I just feel like we shouldn't limit ourselves
to one person at all.
Yeah, you fought tooth and nail.
Yeah.
For her, which wasn't even necessary.
You didn't have to fight tooth and nail at all, but you did anyway.
You keep saying tooth and nail.
I don't know what that means.
I know what it means.
I know what it's used it for, but where does that come from?
Tooth and nail.
Fighting tooth and nail means you're biting and clawing.
It's gotten primal.
Like you are, you're giving everything you have.
What's the nail part?
Fingal nails?
So you scratch in and you bite in?
Yeah.
Okay, thanks.
I was a fool.
I want to admit that on the air.
Well, before you get super made at Lynn.
Just call me a fool.
You just, before you get upset with Lynn,
T-shirt Kevin, I think only sent her a pair with me and
Bobby, like one of me and one of Bobby.
I don't think she requested them at all, if she did.
Oh, so there's one of you that she wore and took a picture with, and there's one of me.
Yeah.
But the one of me didn't have a picture taken.
Didn't have a picture taken yet.
Got it.
But also, let's say, I'll take a good pair of underwear, T-Shirt Kevin, if you're taking yet. Got it. But also let's say, I'll tell you a good pair of underwear, T-shirt Kevin, if you're listening. Yeah. Me on one butt cheek, Bobby on the other butt
cheek. Jacob in the middle. Jacob on the hooch. Actually, Jacob on the hooch. And the
rest of them on the ass. Maybe Christine's a tramp stamp. And then DJ Luke would be the,
oh no, Blackloo should be the butthole get it
Okay, good because then we were running a room in underwear that's absolutely fine Christine could be on the pussy black lose butthole
DJ Lou is a
side Between me and you he's but crack but crack and you are butt cheeks. I want solo or nothing.
Where's the picture of you on the underwear?
Don't worry about that, Christine.
You're gonna have to get into my hidden spot.
Oh, is that private DM?
Christine.
No, no, she posted it.
It's burned into my brain. That's where it is.
No, she posted it.
I'm just the brown stain.
I would have loved in a DM to get it.
As I said, face pulled to the side, hooch out,
but no such thing, only the public picture of her butt cheeks.
Look, I don't care.
I understand Lynn has a thing for you.
You met her, she knows you before I was here.
So I'm okay, I understand, I'm just buzzing.
But, you know, so that's fine.
Have Big J on your butt, have the ones of me in the draw just in case big J dies and then you could throw those on that's fine
But but but but the thing is Jay is that Jacob fought
Tooth and Nail as you say to the nail to the as a lot of people say and yes
and
He he really stuck his neck out.
He did.
And ended the competition, made it a whole new thing.
I mean, we stopped everything and we made it.
That's why Jacob, Jacob's on the weekends and everything
would be involved in conversations saying things like,
guys, I don't get why we're doing this.
Lynn's been here down since early days
and Bobby's entire tenure here has been involved.
He was making a real hard pitch.
I was happy.
I was gonna get pajama mama was gonna be mine.
Pajama mama sent me, and then here's the thing,
pajama mama was gonna be, we're all supposed to get our own.
And pajama mama was gonna be mine, right? But then, own and pajama mama was gonna give me be mine right but
then yes she heard the show and the debacle and all the craze so she went over to jake up she went
over she sent me a video for jake up yesterday big j buck rec big j that that's that's the uh big j
show right down right there yeah that should really be the cover of an album for me. Yeah, that's the Big J Show right there.
Just the girl's butt cheeks.
Jacob, look.
Jacob, put your hands down.
You can look at it.
I'm scratching my forehead.
Oh, well, you're scratching your forehead.
Your hands a foot away from your head.
He doesn't wanna look at a picture of her.
I understand, though, because he put.
I didn't like one of her home decorations this weekend.
She's so skinny and her boobs are so righteous
that you see it poking out from behind arm and back.
She looks AI.
Yeah, but who would you get
if you could get somebody if you wanted your own?
It would have been Lynn.
Whatever.
Whatever.
He's hurt.
You know what, I'm gonna tell you.
You stuck up for her like she was Eddie Vedder.
Christine's trying to find this apparatus.
What Christine?
I said Lynn's verified.
Oh yeah.
So was it my Aunt Peggy?
I said Bonfire Spokesmodel.
That's pretty cool.
Bonfire Spokesmodel.
Well I mean, it's more like Jay's Spokesmodel.
That's what that looks like.
She's for the show.
I know, I know more like Jay's spokesmodel. That's what that looks like. She's for the show. I know what you're saying, but that's a piece of the show.
Why don't you blame your best friend
slash life partner, T-Shirt Kevin.
I'm not blaming.
It is his fault.
Why don't you yell at him
when you guys go on a cruise together inevitably?
Right.
That just hit me.
I just pictured it.
Me and him and Fedora smoking cigars
on the fucking Lido deck.
With everything I've ever said, ever on a shirt.
These shirt Kevin, he's gonna be become
the only lunatic fan who has,
he's forced his Bobby to single white female him.
He makes Bobby dress like him.
Well, I know, but you could have put both of us on there, I think.
Well, there's not a lot of room on the back for two faces, I would say.
First of all, it's not Jacob's ass.
It's Lin's ass, and there's enough room for all of us.
By the way, T-Share, Kev, wait a second, they're Lacey panties.
I don't know why when I saw the picture,
I thought they were more just like the basic,
like you're trying on bathing suit underwear,
like the disposable underwear almost, like Lacey.
This is kind of what T-shirt Kev is into.
He sent your panties he wanted to see her in with UF face on.
He's probably jerking off to this day.
That's what he's into, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But he said he did think that was the front.
There is enough room on there
for the whole faction talk radio 103,
Jim and Sam, Bennington, us. Oh, we wrapped for the whole faction talk radio 103 Jim and Sam Bennington.
Oh, he wrapped around the whole thing for sure.
Yeah.
Somewhere Eddie trunk.
You see this comment right here.
What does it say?
It says should be somebody said should be Jacob tagged you.
Who's to who said it?
Jacob.
It's Jacob.
No, the.
The.
JJB Wolf.
No, I know.
Teacher Chris was a.
He's an old fan from O and A days and shit, isn't.
Yo, shout out O&A
Lynn said I wouldn't want to offend him. He's a sweet boy. What what why would she offend me by wearing my face on our
Cuz you think everything's a no she thinks that you would think it's ridiculous like oh, it's by where poop comes out gross because you're you're not a man
This ridiculous persona you've created for me. Jacob, because you're a young boy, Jacob,
and you can't handle this.
I can't handle my face on underwear on her.
Jacob, she said she wants to meet you,
and the reason why was she wants to pick you up.
It's infuriating what Christine said to me.
She wants to feed you with a baby spoon and yogurt.
What did Christine say that I missed?
What did I say? That I couldn't handle it. I didn't say I baby spoon and yogurt. What did Christine say that I missed? What did I say?
That I couldn't handle it.
I didn't say you couldn't handle it.
I said you didn't want your face where poop comes out of.
No, I do.
No.
Christine, 100% wrong.
How about would you want your face near
while poop comes out of it?
No. So even there's a line for Lynn. I'll you what if Lin Lin send me a video of her taking a
she sent me a video of her taking a dump I would cherish it I would not want to
do you on my chest ooh no I would not handle that well just like I'm just
duty yeah it's fucking wacky to see.
You're gonna see a shit with the raccoon fingernails in it?
Shit.
Oh, my God.
That's not a weird shit, lady.
Yeah, just a possum jock.
We're gonna agree to disagree.
You wouldn't watch Limpoop.
No, no, I'm saying I disagree.
I do think you would.
I don't want to watch just anybody poop.
I don't want to watch any poop come out of anything.
I never want to see it. I don't even want to see the poop. I don't want to watch any poop come out of anything I never want to see it
I don't even want to see the asshole open up like something's coming out the craziest part where you're like, oh my god
This is actually real. It's about that. You know I'm Farrah Abraham shit. It was crazy who the teen mom girl
Yeah, and she did the video of her taking a dump. It's two foot of straight dump. There's no break for two foot
I mean that's impressive. It's impressive. She's tiny and it's thing she's not even hot she's all
carved up in the face like but she's like porn star hot and she just rips a
fucking turd on video. I would take my shoelace off and measure that if I saw
that. Okay yeah that's good. I would have to disconnect from it. Now if I was saw
that in person I'd still probably like throw I'd have to be like a room away
from that. I can't be next to it I'll throw up I don't like when it's not
sexual I don't like when but it's open yeah but that's what you're like that's
what what what what what what what what what what what what what what is pulling up
the competitive any better fault that's careful no no no Christine do not do
this Christine I'm not doing it Christine wouldn't mind Christine don't do it
Christine don't do it now Christine, don't do it.
Now, Bobby, I want to explain something to you.
Can I walk you through?
Pause it, pause it, pause it.
I don't want to look at poop.
I don't want to, I'm putting my foot down at poop.
I'm putting it down.
I have no parachute anymore.
You're gonna take me?
I can put my foot down.
Are you gonna take me to HR?
Over harassment for this?
I take it to HR.
Can I explain this to you?
I take it to HR, then Dan comes out.
This is one of the, this is gonna be,
I wanna explain this to you, because you'll enjoy this.
Smell my duty.
Listen to me, you're fucking mesmerizing, and I get it.
You are charismatic.
I get it.
I understand.
But it's not happening.
I do not.
Can I make my case case and then you decide?
I'm not just gonna throw it on you.
Okay, listen, you have fun.
Christine, get it off, actually leave that on the screen.
Oh, she was that, oh, she's pretty.
That's Farrah Abraham.
She's pretty.
Teen Mom had years and years of run on MTV
as a white trash piece of shit who got pregnant young
and grew up to be exactly what you thought.
A sort of porn star reality star scus.
It's so funny, our TV watching experience is so funny.
I never watched that.
It's so different though that you even know any about it.
I have no idea about this.
Keep my finger on the pulse.
You do, you really do.
I have no idea about this.
Well again, all you hear about was Teen Mom.
The first time I heard of her name was Teen Mom releases sex tape.
Then she did two porn's.
And then she did David Tell's comedy underground.
Jesus Christ, you knew so much.
She was on David Tell's comedy underground.
You know what I know?
Last season at Young Sheldon, tune in.
Okay.
Not so young anymore.
So...
Bazinga!
Bazinga.
I really am turning into a fucking simpleton as I get older.
Oh, Bobby, when you have a thing that you call your chair,
it's gonna be over.
I have my chair.
You already have your chair.
Dude, I suck.
I suck, dude.
Dude, when you have your chair, it's no good.
Not only do I have my chair, I have the remote thing
that you, holder that goes on the side of your chair
with a little cup thing, and you can put the remote in it
because I'm sick of going where's the remote yeah when it
stops being couch your spot on the couch and becomes your chair it's over yeah I
know I used to but like Christine said to me last week that hit me hard you've
you've had enough pussy right something like that enough ass you've got enough
ass oh Bobby yeah, good deflection.
If I can get back to this video.
I said he's turning lights on all over.
Far Abraham.
Oh, yeah.
I've turned lights on.
I really did a lot.
I started going back through the stuff that I've done,
like all the sexual stuff I did in my 20s and early 30s
in New York.
Man, I had a lot of fun a lot of fun. I had two white girls with dreadlocks in the same night
You separately separately. Did you wash them first?
That is the odds on that are fucking nuts
True the odds on that is nuts.
So, Farrah Abraham.
Okay, Farrah Abraham, she looks very cute.
She had a couple of porn's, but she's running out of fame.
No one gives a shit.
She even went back on MTV, no one cared.
So then she started, they made a word that she's selling poop to people who would like that.
That'd be a good gift to give somebody you don't like, a box of poop.
That was an arse gift.
Arry gave that to me, his own poop for my birthday one year my manager Jim Serpo gave me gorilla shit one
Year for my birthday. Oh, that was nice. That was nice. Was it was a is that a show on the CW or something?
No, you could order there's a company that will send gorilla shit to people
gifts
She did find that and send it to Ari and was like I thought you'd want to know about this I
Almost opened it and cooked it. I thought it was a fucking curry. Oh god
Put the walk on get the rice
Ferry Abraham. Yeah
In running everything starts selling her poop and released one video of her dropping and let me explain this to you Bobby
Yeah
First the cork comes out, which is just.
I don't know what that is.
One little nug that was blocking the path, I think.
I don't want to know that that is a thing.
I'm explaining it, it's simply.
It's not wine.
It's not wine.
I don't deal in wine.
I deal in turd videos.
I'm a shit-mal-yay.
I'm a shit Malier.
A shit Malier. T-shirt.
Now. Yes.
Court comes out.
And then the most impressive.
Who do not add.
The most impressive.
Do not add sound.
Do not make this.
Do not add.
Bobby just so you know that was Sriracha coming out of a sriracha jar
If Lou connects the circle if he puts all five infinity infinity stones into the glove
Court comes out yeah, and then the most impressive two straight unbroken feet of shit
Come pouring out of her ass and then breaks off and then she just turns around and smiles and it's over you don't see it on
the floor or nothing so I'm asking you as a friend
No no no you can't put this you can't do this you're putting this on a friendship
no our friendship is not damaged at all if you can't do this but I want you to
conquer your fears.
Did you ever see like when the lady Omari Povic was afraid of olives?
So they brought out a giant jar of olives to make her scream and run around like a lunatic?
Did you ever see that? I watched those again recently. Have you seen those recently?
Bring up Omari exposing people's fears every time they go,
So I hear you're afraid of balloons and then they just release balloons all over
and it's like a fat woman screaming and shaking
on the ground, because of something benign.
We should do a skit where you do this,
you have Mari, and you go,
so I'm afraid of shit, and just a chick's shit on my lap.
Because are you over your fear yet?
You conquer it?
Yeah, play this, play this.
Stop, before you play this.
I want people to go back and listen,
because you're so brilliant.
You're audible.
The psychology of you, you know people so well, Jay.
Do you understand this?
Years of being on stage, crowd work,
dealing with everything in seconds,
belilla seconds.
I brought, you brought it up as a friendship.
I said, you're bringing this up as a friendship,
and then you changed it like that into something else.
That was amazing.
I caught it, cause I'm as good as you,
but that was fucking good.
You went to something else.
You made it about me conquering.
It was a friendship I didn't buy,
but you know I'm a competitive man.
I love America.
I love being a dad.
Justice and freedom.
And you made it about conquering fears. You made it love being a dad. Justice and freedom. And you made it about conquering fears.
You made it about being a man. And now, and now I want to see a shit. Look how silly this lady
looks, Bobby. And I'm not saying you look like this lady. I'm saying you and this lady have to go
to the same doctor though. We have to be in the same waiting room. And that we have to use the same
stupid pen. Yeah, you're both shivering over a silly fear. Oh God, you are genius. This is the funniest thing ever.
And she's not Meryl Streep, so this is very real. Why does she have the haircut
of all the Bay City rollers?
I, well look at this lady. First of all. Hey Keith Partridge, why are you afraid of olives?
There's something about women at this age, like 45, 50,
where they cut their hair.
To give up haircut.
They all look, they all, they can just wet it
and dry it with a face cloth and go out.
And they all wear shirts that make them look
like spaceship commanders.
Yeah, look at this shirt.
This shirt isn't good on anybody at all.
This is the give up.
If you were on a spaceship and you worked in the cafeteria, that would be the shirt you wear. That is true. Starfleet lunch lady?
No doubt. Yeah, exactly. Are you in Starfleet? Wow, no, I just work in the
cafeteria, but I mean I like to help them. I like to think I'm part of the
ladder of justice. God, that shirt sucks. Intergalactic justice. If you ever look
at that, I love the age that women get to when they don't care anymore.
Yeah. Like where they just don't give a to and they don't care anymore. Yeah.
Like where they just don't give a shit and they buy that at Marshall's.
She doesn't care.
No.
Like, look, Mari Povic.
She's been dressing like that for a long time.
Mari Povic still cares that the chicks want to fuck him in the audience a little bit.
Yeah.
I think he's got it together.
This lady doesn't, she wore this on TV.
It looks like a couch.
It's awful.
It's her lap.
It's her nice outfit.
It looks like a couch with a fucking shitsuit on it. That's what her hair looks like a couch. It's awful It looks like it looks like a couch with a fucking shits on it. That's what her hair. It's got elastic
It's got doily. It's got embroidered flowers. It's got a cross pattern at one point the whole thing's a fucking mess
It doesn't fit. The sleeves. Yeah, the sleeves go up her arm. She's got the hair of Tommy Ramone
She really does look like a
singer in the 78
She looks like fucking
David Bowie's ugly ears hair. Yeah, she has Matt Dylan's hair and
Was that stupid when she was a christian McNichol remember that feathers down the middle
You got a christian McNichol
All right, here we go. I'll play it.
There are no olives here. There are no olives here. What a dick. Can I stop for once? He's cancelled for this today.
She looks like me.
Yes. Look, wait, I'll make her face.
Yes. How did you?
Wait, just a little over, a little more of an overbite the upper lip. Just like, what's the over lip's going over?
You're purse your lips more.
Yeah.
Yes.
Wow.
You look just like her.
It looks like my dad.
We're going to have to retake that picture after the show and plug it in on social media.
Go ahead.
All of them?
Wait, no, dude!
Wait a second, wait a second.
Can I- Can we ask you something?
This lady-
God, you're holding on to mine!
This lady went on to abuse her daughter Gypsy Rose Blanchard.
Pull it off!
That's Stavros' mom.
She's afraid of olives.
The worst thing for a Greek lady.
Yeah, that and feta cheese
I'm afraid of four skin
Is she cry talking yeah, it's one of my favorite things on there
I want to hear I love cry talking is my favorite
My god, you're holding on to hand, he's gonna pull it off.
Sally, Sally, black olives or green olives?
Any, it doesn't matter.
Okay.
Why are you-
She's so dismissive.
Are you crazy, bitch?
He said black olives, he was trying to make it racial.
Yeah, black olives or green olives.
Black olives.
Ooh, black olives more.
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
Why do they remind you of that?
My grandpa set up in this coffin and looked down
me and he took a big eye.
Wait, pause this.
I hate to jump off subject.
Look at this stupid chair that black loose sits under his house.
It's just gaming.
Is that Captain America symbols? There's no excuse. There's no excuse black loose it's in his house. It's just gaming. Is that Captain America symbols?
There's no excuse.
There's no excuse for what it's for.
That's insane for a grown man to have.
Dude, I was man cave.
Why don't you like his chair?
It's a Captain America with a Captain America pillow chair.
Why don't you like it?
It's insane.
Why?
It's also got a dangling pillow from it.
I love it. It's a gaming Why? It's also got a dangling pillow from it.
I love it.
It's a gaming chair and it has the A
from Captain America and the shield logo.
It's got the Lumbar Captain America pillow.
It's got a lower Lumbar Captain America pillow.
Who, what avenge would you be
if you got one of those chairs?
I wouldn't.
I wouldn't do that, especially if I'm gonna be
on camera once in a while.
Christine, would you be black widow?
Is that the only girl you know nothing about the Marvel universe? She knows nothing about Marvel Universe and by the way no she wouldn't I wouldn't have that in my house now
I would have myself a gothic throne perhaps like a Dracula
That would look crazy, but I definitely wouldn't have a superhero chair Lou throw a blanket over that chair when you leave
We're all gonna laugh at you
Fucking Captain America chair. You corn ball. You can't let other black people see that.
He didn't get that. His wife got it. His wife got him for that. That's a white lady gift, right?
That was a buddy of mine. A buddy of mine gave that to me for a year.
I didn't choose it. I didn't choose it.
I didn't choose it.
It would have been Black Panther, at least.
No, no superheroes.
Oh, fuck, that's funny.
But we were all describing, we should all think of the,
what our Zoom thrones would be.
Mine would be super Dracula and crushed velvet.
I'm sorry, I don't want to jump too far off.
I would have the one where you lie down in it.
In the Shays lounge?
No, the one from Grandma's boy with that nerd
when he had the chair and he had all the TV screens
and it goes, shh, shh, shh.
Oh yeah, and you're surrounded by stuff.
But I have my hands on keyboards at all times.
Oh, I love that.
Bobby just plugs in and becomes.
Yes.
Gerson, you play the rest of this Olive lady.
So he looked up at you when he died.
Where's Green Eyes?
With Green Eyes.
What the blacking him?
How old were you in this house?
Seven.
Seven.
And you really believe that your grandfather
came right up out of his coffin and he had Green Eyes.
He can't.
And ever since then, you've been scared of olives.
You know what would be better?
If right now they didn't bring out alls
They brought out her dead grandfather
With olives in his eyes. It's just we can't burny so yeah, but we were able to exhume your grandfather and look oh my god
He does have all the boys
No, we can't even come down the level. What a dumb question.
Can't even go down the aisle of a grocery store?
Mary, you won't let go of me.
Bring out the aisle.
Sally. Now Bobby. I Do you want this to be you with a simple little poop video what they should have what they should have did was they should have
Put the olives in the ceiling and dropped them down like the end of a kiss concert
Put the olives in the ceiling and dropped them down like the end of a kiss concert
Fall on top of her well do my favorite one ever do the balloons Christine because the balloons one is the best because when she Runs backstage she didn't know they have a lot more balloons back there for she runs into a world of balloons
And she can't get out and she just starts free. It's insane. I'd be great if one of them just died
Until until Jenny Jones had that guy kill the gay guy in real life.
These things were unregulated at all.
These were awesome back in the day.
And then Jenny Jones had that fucking they should have told the guy that it wasn't going
to be a gay thing and then it was exactly a gay thing.
Listen to this.
This is really
strange. Not only balloons. Yvonne cannot stand the Good Year blimp. I agree with
her on that. I don't get what it's for. I hate the Good Year blimp. We love the
Good Year blimp. Oh, why? You see the blimp and you see what it says. It's
great. Yeah, make a better version that goes faster.
How about the Goodyear spaceship?
I would like that.
I don't see a dumb blimp dude he goes to zapplin
seen the good year blow it's two thousand feet high it can't get you
what do you say there it can't get you motherfucker
it can't get you dumb bitch yeah it's two thousand miles up you stupid It's in the clouds you whore
So she runs backstage
He's like oh don't go back there. It's worse. Oh my room of people laughing at her
Oh my god, there's no room of people laughing at her
And then I think they have a clown come bring her more balloons she afraid of clowns
They just throw that in there also, maybe be afraid of clowns
He's like here here we want to see your face this is this is so illegal Can you show everybody your tears, please and let him know this is very very real?
This is so against everything this piece of shit Mari
That's like taking a kid that was like sexually assaulted and bringing a priest out. Yeah a bunch of priests with their tics out
Don't go backstage there's a bunch more priests
Hello be the name what the fuck man keep playing it I
Know he's not done torture
Under the stage. Oh my god
And like Mari faking it stop it I've lost control here. I'm sorry balloons are gonna keep coming I can't help but he shaking his head bring them bring them. Yeah, he's like god. This is terrible
Yeah, send the clown
There's not a cloud is a cloud come out maybe turn it
up all yourself get yourself together it's okay calm down stop being stupid I
don't want to see any more balloons now you know there are people out there
right now in this audience you bondvonne, who are saying to themselves, this woman is faking it.
Who?
What would you say to people who think that all you all are faking it?
It's not funny.
It's not funny.
It's a real...
It takes control of you.
I mean, it's debilitated.
It takes control of you.
What's her fear?
Her fear of...
Mustard and pickles.
Full sentences.
It bees like that. One of them fear of muster and pickles full sentences. It bees like that.
One of them fear mustard and pickles.
Quick to the end, see if they bring any more balloons out.
I thought they nailed her one more time.
Do you remember the guy that was afraid of midgets
at just for laughs?
That was one of the funniest things
I've ever seen in my life.
And Brad kept, he was on the show and he kept fucking,
he chased the guy around the car or something?
Well, it was one night.
It was one night of that thing and we heard
that the stage hand was having a hard time
getting through it because he just tries
to stay away from Brad Williams
because he's afraid of midgets.
And so we said it would be funny one day,
the guy, so the one day he came,
he, thank God for him I guess,
parked his car right in front of the steps
of the backstage.
And Brad came out one time, we had Brad come out
and started like just being in his presence,
the guy was like, okay dude, all right dude, stay away,
stay away, and then Brad just came down the stairs
and they did a legitimate cartoon.
Around the car.
Run around the car and the guy was like
flipping around the car and he was working He was working a nice stagehand
He jumped in his car when he got around one time and drove off and did not come back. Yeah quit
But Brad was holding his little him midget hands out like oh, yeah, yeah
Yeah, he was doing that wide midget hand thing that freaks anybody out. It looks like a paw
The pads are so soft.
It does.
It looks like a Cougar paw.
Pads are such soft pads.
How did they get those soft pads?
So anyway, Bobby.
Yeah.
So you're saying that.
Do you want to be like that or do you want to just
watch Farrah Abraham take this two foot shit?
Okay, can I ask you a question?
You sure can, buddy.
Is that a filter?
Yes, she's not that pretty.
All right, listen to me.
Lou, I, you're a fuck it.
You're, you're, listen to me.
I don't need the Michael Jordan
of fucking sound effects with assholes right now.
You know what, Bobby?
I think he's right.
You should probably ease into the visual by hearing it.
Lou, if you could play a little audio,
maybe this will get him okay.
Oh. Okay.
Oh, what is, ehh? That's the squirts.
What is that?
Squirts.
It's a slimy shit.
Oh, oh God.
Oh God.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
That muck noise coming down the pipe.
Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
She looks like she's a pretty woman.
She's got some nice furniture around her.
She doesn't look like she's in a shit hole.
No pun intended. But she's going to take a dump in this room. She's not some nice furniture around her. She doesn't look like she's in a shit hole No pun intended, but she's gonna take a dump in this room. Just then she's not my assumption
She has some sort of a catch on the floor of some sort
A litter box of some sort. I don't know maybe a hammock. I think she has to collect these to sell to people
Is there another topic? Isn't there something else? Yeah. We got off.
What else are we talking about?
So anyway, Christine, did you hear what?
No, no.
Oh please.
What?
Oh please.
Oh no!
Wait, I want you to see what I'm saying.
The cork?
First the cork.
What's the cork?
You'll see.
Wait.
Wait.
Okay.
Cork.
And then two straight feet of shit to that's about a foot and
another foot and then it's gone and by the way clean break no wiping required I
would assume all right he didn't watch it. Christine, turn it off.
Bobby almost lost.
He almost fucking Bobby.
Bobby, it's okay.
Christine, I don't want to see any more shit videos, okay?
Christine, please, please.
I don't want to see any more.
Let me taste that.
You know what it is?
No.
Hey! Christine, you're out of shit. You know what no more pooping.
No more poop stuff, okay?
You up the poop thing.
No, Jay.
No, we're fine.
I don't want to see it.
I don't want to see it.
Don't look.
It's where you're looking.
It's everywhere.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.
Shut it off.
We're gonna get you through this.
Please shut it off.
No, that bad person's gone.
It's over.
Christine, Christine, that's enough.
Oh, got it with Christine.
Brilliant work of making the poop go back up
and out of her butt again.
It's like she's getting fucked with her own poop.
That is great.
You don't have to look, Bobby, don't look.
I hate it.
Don't look.
I hate it.
Don't look.
Please God.
Okay. Here, she's done now. She's done now. She's just showing you her. Look, but Bobby, look at that hate it. Don't look. Please God.
Okay.
Here, she's done now.
She's done now.
She's just showing you her.
Look, Bobbie, look at that clean break.
No poop on her butthole at all.
It's over.
She's a piece of human trash.
That is true.
She's garbage.
Inarguable.
Let me tell you something.
Let me tell you what.
That clean break of a turd would make me happy.
Any person that gets to that another.
Any person, uh, you, what?
She's known for being a mother.
She's known for being a mom.
She has a mom.
She has a little girl. She's trash.
Oh yeah.
That's, I mean the fact.
Well Bobby, I mean everybody who's.
I would rather her come to me
and I'll give her what she needs a month.
She needs a toilet.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
She needs, she doesn't need a better diet.
That was pretty good shit.
Lynn would never do anything like that.
No.
But if she, if you do, only send it to me and Christine, I think.
I guess I don't want to see that.
You don't want to see that.
Don't do that, Lane.
I mean, what brings you-
Lane, don't do that for everybody, of course.
Clearly some people can't handle art.
Now I know why she just had you on her asshole.
Yeah.
Listen.
What if she does it? What if she shits in the underwear and then you see the turd poke my face out?
Guys, I'm just thinking logistics here. I'm just thinking, you know, camera work. I'm seeing it
Yeah, that'd be nice. I don't understand what brings a person
To get to that point in life Bobby exactly that is
Why I love watching it so much.
How did you get here?
It makes me sad that there's a kid.
That's just public, that's all over the.
But there's a child out there
that has to deal with that bullshit.
For the rest, is it a girl or a boy?
It's a girl.
Fuck me, really?
I think it would've been harder for a boy.
If we get that girl into shit porn pretty young,
then she could take over the family legacy.
You have to normalize it, you see.
She has to wake up and eat a healthy breakfast every day.
You have to normalize public shitting with a child pretty young
if you're going to get into that game yourself.
No, Farah Abraham is fucking garbage.
Is that the kid? Yeah, she's known for Teen Mom.
Oh my god, the kid look is so adorable. She is.
But why would you put your kid through that? Well, you know her mom also-
I mean lots of trash people, children. Before she got to this shitting.
Not that, not public trash. You can be trash and private. You can be a piece of shit and
private. There's plenty of people that do- Noenty of porn stars have kids and people with only fans.
But they don't shit into a fucking camera.
Yeah, but where do you draw the line really?
Cause I said she did two or three porn scenes before that,
like getting fucked and squirting and anal and all this shit.
So like, I'm not even, but I'm saying it is weird
when your thing is known for being the mom.
Do you know what I mean?
So you are laying it on your kids a bit.
You know what I mean?
If you go too public with it.
It really breaks my, honestly God, breaks my heart.
It breaks my heart in real life to know that
whatever fucking thing she was trying to hold onto
or keep or whatever, not getting a real job,
keeping success, fandom, money, whatever it was that brought her
to that moment and having that little beautiful,
oh my God girl, and having her having to deal
with that later in life.
Look, she might, you know what I mean?
But it's sad as shit.
That fact.
I didn't know that.
Maybe she just, since none of us got to see
the actual birth of her child,
she gave birth to something else in the video for us.
A two foot beautiful brown baby boy.
I think that was, there was a little finger in there.
It's, I remember.
I know you can't watch it, but Bobby,
it's an impressive log of shit.
I don't like when the asshole opens
and something comes out.
That's the part that really gets me.
You like when something opens and goes in.
It's like, okay, when you're on like on the second,
third floor or something and you're looking out,
that's real to me.
Like that's height scares me.
Airplane, look out the window, it's not real.
It doesn't scare me.
That height doesn't scare me.
When an asshole opens up and I see something come out,
that's real.
If I just probably saw the thing pouring
out of her butt, I don't think that would be as bad.
Do you want us to cut to the middle?
No. I don't want you to cut anywhere. I'm just saying it wouldn't be as bad because
it's, I don't know.
Maybe just the audio will help you.
I hate it. There's no.
She didn't even have audio. She just made sex noises while she was doing it.
It's gotta be illegal.
What she was doing what?
Pooping.
She does?
She makes sex noises?
Yeah.
I don't know if I've ever heard the audio before.
Don't play it back.
We'll do this in private.
How, how, how, how, what is this person doing now?
Porn probably.
Eat it.
She started doing porn a long time ago.
She's refueling.
But that is sad. It said that her, the kid's father died in a car accident. Porn probably. She started porn a long time ago. She's refueling.
But that is sad.
It's sad that her the kid's father died in a car accident when she was pregnant.
Oh, okay.
So that tragedy is probably going to hit a little harder.
Don't worry.
That kid's going to be shitting on video by the time she's 19.
No, don't say that.
Dad's dead.
Mom's a famous shit actress.
You're such an ass.
Please don't say that. Is her cow old's a famous shit actress. Sure, you're such an ass. Please don't say that.
Is her cow old's a kid now?
14?
I gotta know, just, can we help her?
She was old enough to get it probably, what's happening?
Stop.
Ah, stop.
Are you two guys making fun of my mom's poopy video?
Oh.
Christine talked to her like a fortune.
Uh-huh, we are.
Sorry, listen, you're going to have
to deal with a couple realities in life.
Your mom has done squirting, thrashing,
anal gang bangs, and has a video of her pooping.
She goes, my mom doesn't have a video of her pooping.
And then Christine goes, I already
got it pulled up in our history.
Take a look.
That's terrible.
Hey, everybody, thanks for listening.
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