The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Johnny Depp Verdict (feat. Ari Shaffir)
Episode Date: June 2, 20226th and Jump Alum Ari Shaffir joins The Bonfire as the gang reads the Johnny Depp verdict!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Ap...ply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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Everybody our guests are he's a fear is gonna be taping his new special Jew again in Brooklyn
That's June 11th and 12th get it Jew for June that's June 11th and 12th Saturday and Sunday
It is awesome is gonna be fucking amazing. There are some seats available get tickets again at areychefier.com
Aris h a ff ir calm. Don't blow it. Dan Soder is going to be in Grand Rapids
this weekend. Everybody June 3rd and 4th Friday and Saturday. Then he's going to be in London.
Everyone to Soho theater. You can get ready. That's June 13th through June 19th for tickets
and all of Dan's tour dates. Go to Dan Soder dot com. Tulsa Oklahoma, Albany, New York,
get ready. Bert Christchurch's fully loaded festival is headed in a town with Big J on
it.
It's going to be a hell of a show, going all over this fine country of ours.
For tickets and tour dates, go to bigjcomedy.com to see where Jason's going to be.
And we'll get back to the podcast.
And guys, head over to amberhurt.com slash prices on everything right now.
Merch is just, just falling out the door.
Fire sale. Get it what you can.
Christine Marie Evans loves snacks.
And now, the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder.
Jacob hates New York.
Jacob, you really?
I on?
You're snake play hell, yeah.
I hear nothing out of these headphones.
I'm hearing everything.
Oh, there, they weren't plugged in.
I'm hearing it all.
There it is now. Like, I just missed a fist bump. Damn, that's a week. I'm hearing everything. Oh, they weren't plugged in. I'm hearing it all. There it is now.
Like, I just missed a fist bump.
Damn, that was a week.
I got it.
Damn.
And we can be cute.
Blue, watch some of them over here.
Give me one of them fist bumps.
I love so much.
Just bump.
Yes, dude.
Oh, man, even the re-fist bump never.
Juneteenth?
Juneteenth.
It's today's Juneteenth.
No, it's coming.
It's coming up.
Now, today's the first day of gay pride month.
Also, lose them for up. That's coming up. Today's the first day of gay pride month. Also, Luzon for both.
Triple kiss.
LGBTQLMNLP, DJ Liu.
It's also Johnny Depp, verdict day.
Wow.
It just happened to be that Ari was gonna be
on the show regardless.
Why don't we tell everybody what the show is?
Oh, it's the Bonfire, Series XM, Faction Talk.
103, I'm Dan Soder.
That's Big Jogerson, Full Crew in the House,
DJ Lewitsky, black king the black tiger Lewis
joo
so
Christine Mariavins and Jacob the top and our guests well you got the sixth and junk
boys back together is what you fucking got you got right he's taping his special
a big day for six and Joe, he's taping his special JOOOOOO! In Brooklyn, I wanted to do it like Norman.
JOOOOOO!
Uh, June 11th, June 12th.
I see him.
He's going to work.
He's saving his new special.
JOOOO.
I try to put a little, I try to put a little German
schnitzel on it.
Like a German people in the audience.
JOOOO.
Uh, Saturday sold out, right?
No, we added seats, so.
Alright.
Hurry up. R-E-S-K-D-D-S, but June 11th, June 12th in Brooklyn, go get your tickets.
Yeah.
Way to tape a special call, Jew in a building probably owned by a Jew.
Yeah.
In June.
In June.
It's June.
That's right. We're taking it back from blacks.
Well, did you, you were leasing it to them?
June 10th you can have it for a year or so.
I want to talk about raising the rate on it.
I tell you, Joe, I could never make work in that special because I'll buy Judaism.
Homosexuality since it is June is just something you have to avoid in Judaism.
You're not written off. You're just like, it's like gluttony.
You're like, I know you got the inclination. Just say no.
Just say no.
I stopped yourself from doing gay stuff.
Still want to sin a god, but come on.
Well, we found out yesterday that you can get creative
with your Yamaha designs even,
but just you can't do a gay thing.
Can't put a dick on it.
You can't put a toe.
But you could definitely,
you want to throw a mercant over your weiner,
have at it, who knows.
Right.
You can think about who you want while you're masturbating,
but you can't masturbate.
Wait, what? Really? You're not supposed to. You could think about whoever you want while you're masturbating, but you can't masturbate
Really? You're not supposed to you can think about whoever you want while you're having sex really yeah You can think about just while you're having sex
Concentually with a woman who has faith while you're stuffing while you're stuffing poop into a vagina
So it feels like a butthole it's always it's always a skill for God for you
It's always these Jewish rules that make me see that definitely you guys were the first religion to get it together because it's all like survival rules.
Uh-huh.
So like don't eat dirty meat on Sundays.
And then the Christians just have it like a little less.
It's a little more watered down.
I don't quite get it.
Yeah, I always love these during the summer.
Christian, you can quickly find me.
Could you quickly find the the family guy thing, Christine, where if you can't where Meg asks the the kid was
a year when they said they're gonna become Jewish yeah because we're mechs a year Meg like
eyes big go big and she goes mom she goes is saw to me illegal in the Jewish faith and she goes I
hope so Meg I really do it. It's over slides over and Peter's like smiling real big because it's
not low. It's not so funny. My favorite Jew thing from a family guy is them talking to
Mort about he's like, oh, my business is not doing well.
And she was, why don't you have a sale?
He goes, I don't understand what that means.
Have you ever been to a sale?
Oh, I love sales.
I'm trying to sell.
I'm not hearing you.
That is great.
This is great.
The kids from now on, this is where we'll celebrate the Sabbath.
Peanut, this is all unnecessary.
Our life was fine the way it was.
Check it out, I'm wanting you guys now, huh?
I'm QAs.
Yeah, holocaust!
Number one!
Look at all these short hairy men.
God, I feel like I'm on the forest moon of Endor.
Good afternoon.
As we approach the Passover holiday, let us remember the struggle of our
people as they labored under the yoke of Pharaoh's despotic rule. Hey if anyone appreciates a good yoke it's
the use. That's my Jewish laugh. I'm working on a Jewish laugh. I'm so embarrassed right now. Can we please just go? Hi, you're pretty.
Oh, thank you.
Mom, is Sadame illegal if you're Jewish?
I hope so, Meg. I really do.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
It's nothing for our little bills, Osprey.
Is that true?
Is it true they can butt fuck?
Did Jews?
Women.
Women, women, women, wait a minute.
Don't let me answer the board.
It's wasting seed but it's not terrible.
Wasting seed. That's why you can't masturbate.
Same as masturbation. It's always got to go to make people.
Yeah. That's where the batter goes.
Do Jews find technicality like they do with, you know, on Fridays they found a thing that
can release the buttons? We'll be covered in R.I.
Shafir Jew, taking Jew to the left.
I'm sorry, Ari, sometimes we have very specific questions.
What are Jews' opinions on Boers' head?
No, but is there a, can you jerk off to not completion?
Edgy?
You can do that.
You just can't wait to see.
Damn, dude. I didn't know Jewish people invented tantrics.
You can do that.
Absolutely.
And actually, I'll tell you this,
fucking premarital fucking with a non-Jew,
almost no situation, nothing wrong.
It's a shiqsa fest.
Wasting time, that's about it.
Really?
The same as watching Netflix on it.
You've become,
you've become,
because you gotta come in or pussy,
it's not wasting the seed.
Okay, but,
So if you, if you cream pie a shiqsa,
yeah,
it's the same as watching Netflix.
Yeah.
Why?
Damn, dude, dude.
That's right.
That's right.
Where's that Humptor appearance?
Yeah.
Man, you should be, you should be coming to Rotic Raby.
Just say all these things.
Oh, you should be a Rotic Raby.
That's right.
But you just come in with your shirt on button
and just change on your chest.
Oh, hello.
Oh, hello. Your're always ready to talk.
Shops.
Oh, what?
Shalom.
Get into something more comfortable for you'll notice that my
really strong chain is dancing through my chest.
I find you taking the religion better when you shit's shfitsy.
Why don't you get rid of those pants?
I love it, dude.
It's fun when you were looking through it. I met some religious frontier Jews in Minneapolis that came on free tickets to a show
And then they came back to next year
They get like hey, we saw you like a great will pay
This time once I know the product is good. Yeah, you will pay
But we talked about it one over there for shop is lunch and like welcome with you guys and we talked about the Halacha the law there for Shobb's lunch and like, welcome with you guys. And we talked about the halacha,
the law of marijuana.
And they're like, it's fine.
Damn.
Same as Netflix.
Damn, damn, damn.
Same as Netflix coming inside of a shixah.
Damn, it's actually better than Netflix
because you can study the tall mode.
You're coming in a shixah rules though.
Yeah, I do.
Can't take that away.
Cream pie shixah?
Cream pie shixah's dude.
That's a great porn show.
That's gotta be one.
You know, Christine says now that I, what are the nafuckin' one of those cookies from can't take that away. Cream pie shakes. Cream pie shakes is dude. It's a great porn show. That's gotta be one.
You know, Christine says now that I, what are the nafuckin' one of those cookies from
me?
I always get.
No, she was, she says recently that, you know, for me saying so much, you know, I'm Jewish,
but I really don't identify like, I don't like people see me and see Jewish and or my
personality or anything like that at all.
And she goes, no, no, no, you're really Jewish.
What?
You see it from the outside in.
Yeah.
Wow.
What, what do you see?
Just him being like, he doesn't like touching.
He's whining.
He's whining.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Two Christie's gonna come up so anti-Semitic right now.
There's no such as for always in the way.
She doesn't understand that like people that aren't Jewish at all, like don't celebrate
Hanukkah and don't play Dredel and didn't make a brisket for Passover and didn't like
he has Jewish heritage.
Because you're super high holidays.
Yeah we grew up with the Jewish.
You know, if you're not Jewish, like that's not a part of your life at all.
I had it, my two best friends growing up on my block,
Megan and Jacqueline were Jewish.
So I did have that kind of growing out,
I knew what it was, but it was weird that they were Jewish.
And someone, no, I thought you were saying more
that I'm Jewish.
We, the traits come down to it.
The racial traits.
No, I was talking more about you do celebrate.
I mean, do I get some of this Jewish,
some of it's like single wrong? I remember I was gonna be in a really do care about your poops. I mean, do I get some of it like some of it's Jewish some of it's like I'm working over my penis. Really do care about your poops. Yeah, you've got a great
internals which is always where the I have an ENT. I have an internal. These are all
weird about so many Jewish. Yeah, I mean I was not bothered to be Jewish so bad. I'm a
warrior. I'm a big warrior. Yeah, you see my Judaism and it happened when we went to
that DevTones concert where you see my Judaism and it happened when we went to that death tones concert
Where you see my Judaism come out isn't that like I worry so much about the group. I don't want to go death tones
Wait, is everyone alright is everyone walking out if one person goes
Like I'm gonna go get drinks for everybody. I that that begins to count the counting clock of how much I'm feeling bad that
They're not seeing the show and the roasting and then I'm worried about till they come back and when they come
back I have to make sure there's room like where they were or like or in convenience myself
a little to get like back so it's like no you should you went and got the drinks you should
see I can see for sure that you want to make sure everyone's all right your mother handing
them you spent all the time of the attic. Now you get downstairs. Yeah. Yeah.
But I wish I could stop.
I want to just be like, dude, just watch the fucking show.
Who cares?
One of my favorite things ever, because I have a ton
of anxiety and I'm always worried about everyone
being mad at me.
It's like a different kind of guilt.
It's like, Jews have different kind of guilt
than the Irish.
Like my mom's Irish Catholic guilt that was like,
fucking thrusted upon me.
My favorite thing is Colin Quinn put out the coloring book,
which is just like a longer version of New York story,
but he breaks down, he gives the situation of a guy trying to go get a job
in how an Irish mother would react in an Irish American mother and a Jewish mother,
and it's so funny. The way he breaks it down, because it's perfect.
Immediately, the Irish American mom's like, well, you've embarrassed us,
you've embarrassed the family,
you fucking idiot, and the Jewish mom's like,
well why would he say he has a job for you
if there's not a job there?
There should be someone...
Let me talk to him.
Let me talk to him.
And it ends up with the Irish, I forget how it completely ends,
but I just know the Jewish kid gets the job
and the Irish kid's just angry.
It's so funny because the Jewish mom's like,
well there should be a job.
Why would you say there's a job if there's not a the drugs mom's like, yeah, well, there should be a job.
If there would, why would you say there's a job
if there's not a job?
Let's call you around, go.
I think he has an in over there at the best uns.
Because you're just worried about it.
You just fall down this plinco thing of like,
is everyone all right, you have drinks,
everyone could see, everyone's tucked in.
Narosi's is a jewelry thing.
Yeah, sure.
I have that without a doubt.
I don't know, we're Armenian and the Narosi's run high.
I was thinking about-
I was thinking about- I was thinking about- I was thinking about- I have't know. I have where Armenian and the neuroses run high. You're able to pack up all your things in the blankets quickly. I was thinking about
Hydro-Condria our other friend who's the biggest hypo-conjurek
I know besides J's like a Catholic yeah, and then you well, yeah, I'm just you know
I'm just the son of an alcoholic hey Christine. What about changing the Armenian Holocaust to half a cost?
Hey, Christine, what about changing the Armenian Holocaust to half a cost? Yeah!
Damn, you're in here.
You're in Armenian Holocaust.
You're pulling out your big old genocide dick now.
I'm sorry.
Compared to genocide.
Holocaust.
We were the first genocide.
Guys, let's turn to different news.
Let's go to the world of Hollywood.
Oh, thank you.
It's something that united us through the pandemic.
Do you guys now feel because of six and jump?
Do you feel a stronger connection to Johnny Depp?
Absolutely. Yes. I do too. I also I feel like our timing was unbelievable because when I came out
People like when I did a show recently somebody was wearing she twice in the past could be someone's wearing a Tom Wheelon for president
Shout out Tom Ray one of my best shirts. I'll take a moment with those guys. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, I'm like for sure.
Well, Lou, if you DJ, Lou,
it's give you could hit me with some bonfire context real quick.
The COVID-19 epidemic was in the year 2020.
And we came together to do a watch along podcast called
Sixth and Jump with Jay, Ari and I,
where we were we were featuring Dan and Jay.
I checked.
I think we are. We're legally are. We should fear featuring Dan and Jay. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other.
I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. These were in depth episodes. Three hours for four to five minutes. We'll do three an hour.
Three hours for two hours.
Two hours a year's crazy.
I mean, we couldn't believe by episode two or three
how much we were like, and you know what, dude?
Because we were sitting home for non-stop hours a week.
So it's like, we're like, dude, fucking,
let's have one and talk, break this goofy episode.
Yeah, so in depth of it, we were like,
we saw just moments of it, we're like,
the writers are writing about the contract disputes from the actors.
Yes.
They're writing the characters. It's so meta.
You're being passive aggressive in a way.
Yes.
Using some people, burying some people in the bathroom.
We were watching so much when I did a film class in college and I wanted to write a piece on pulp fiction.
And my teacher was like, okay, but you have to watch it like 15 times.
I was like, not just once. It was trust me.
You have to watch it more than, and I start discovering stuff 10 times in.
That's what we were doing with 21 fucking jumpsuit.
Yeah, we really were.
We're getting into it.
And we watched, what's interesting about it is we watched Johnny Depp go from being a
sought after guy kind of in Hollywood to being one of the biggest superstars in the world.
By season three, he was like, I'm not showing up for this stupid.
He doesn't want to do it.
Yeah, it's showing up.
I don't want to be here.
If you don't understand that, it might mirror the fucking history of heinous.
Where?
What?
I'm idiot.
Are you saying Chrissy D is fucking Johnny Depp of Cornel and John Street?
Yeah.
And so that makes Yannis, what's his name? Why can't I remember?
Penhall
Doug
Doug panel played by
Peter Dulles thank you. I would always have I would go back and forth in the characters on the act
I just asked the names Because hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff blowfish dude. Dude, Janko into... Oh wow. He should have been like, at some point.
Adam Fuller.
Catch a fuller.
It shows so good.
Dude, we gotta go back.
We're gonna do a lot more.
When Fuller dies because he will be the next to die,
unless, depending on this verdict goes that I don't know about yet,
we should go lay some flowers on his grave.
Yeah, dude.
All dressed is different characters.
We should get to be brothers.
We should get to be brothers.
We should get to be people hyped up.
We're, I don't think we're dancing with.
I think we're pretty locked in to do a live
Sixth and jump at Skankfest this year. Yeah, I'm a new room and just fucking watch and we're gonna pick big screen it I mean, I want a Seabuck. I'd like to go with the with the last Seabuck episode the trilogy
Yeah, yeah, yeah fans do want closure. Yeah, yeah, I know on your on sixton jump
They want closures gonna be a lot there's five seasons. But I mean, I would never say closure.
I would say, never say closure happened.
I would like to see those.
Who knows where monkey pox will bring.
Maybe it's the blessed we've all been looking for.
Guys get ready.
We're kicking it back up.
Dan lost an arm.
It can't breathe out of his face anymore.
But we all say, yeah, we all say it's not gonna happen again.
We go inside, but like if they do bring it up,
that we have to go inside again party
You will think hey don't bring up the verdict. I don't look it does get a does get a
Does get a six and jump back probably do when Delta was kicking up again
I was like fuck like I thought we were done with this and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna prove
You did several episodes of sixth and jump from a jungle
Still watching the show.
I got to understand.
Still taking in how crazy.
Sixth and still country at jump.
Jay and his old cavernous East Village apartment,
and then me and Katie's guest room in front of a blank wall
and then Ari in front of a gorgeous jungle.
Yeah, I'm drinking out of a coconut.
Yeah.
And you go, oh, here comes Bandit. Oh, she brought another fish skeleton. There was a volcano behind him once. Yeah, I'm drinking out of a coconut. Yeah. You got your bandit. Oh, she brought another fish skill.
I think there was a volcano behind him once. Yeah.
And he's like, God damn, dude, that's crazy.
Would hops again blows their cover because she feels bad.
I would love just setting up with his word backdrops.
Like, oh, we're back on the cheese. Sorry. What the fuck?
Yeah. The show, what we should have been able to do.
And it's a shame we have not been able to do was we shouldn't
have been able to get a Holly Robinson Pete on the show.
Can I ask you something?
I think she would laugh now at the idea goes they had you blow the spot up on every single
undercover job she had.
She blew the cover by middle of the show.
By the way, I'm a cop.
I want to help you.
Because it was always a motion.
She was also too emotionally invested and would give up their, it would blow their cover.
So Katie working for Apple Plus,
doing baseball, does the Dodgers game,
and after the game, Holly Robinson Pete tweeted at her
and was like, great job.
I watched the game or whatever.
And I was like, hofs!
I saw that movie.
Hofs, hofs, I was like, hofs, reach out to her.
I want to talk to hofs,
because we try getting Deloise.
We like, we want it. We're close on him, I think. We what? Reach out to her, I want to talk to Hops because we try getting Deloise. We like, we want it.
We're close on him, I think.
We're close on Deloise.
When, I'd love to get win.
Dustin win on the show.
Never was pondered.
Oh my God.
The creator, we were gonna get on.
Oh yeah.
He did say like something,
he was a little shout, didn't he, the creator?
He was like, I would do that.
I don't know, but we love that show.
Point being, we're invested more in these people.
I was on a plane watching 21 Jump Street, the movie,
and when they showed up at the end,
when Penahal enhanced and showed up at the end.
And you played sex with my sisters wedding.
I was like, I was more like,
when you see your friend,
when it used to feel like seeing your friend do a late night.
You're like, oh,
oh, my God.
You know what, I did watch the show when it was on.
Did you already said?
When it was on, yeah.
You did watch it was on, so I, so you didn't,'t then now so it is it what the fuck's have to these headphones
No, these jacks are all jacks Andy leave you in here again. That's one shit. Yeah, probably it's good now
I got to fix where was I down you're talking about I didn't grow watching it. Yes
So when I those movies came out when those movies came out, when those movies came out,
I was watching them all from the style, J.A.S. Spect.
Sure. You did it the opposite way.
You watched them until they were funny,
and now isn't it fun going back and saying,
like, they use hofs with the lay-ins,
with that she gives the cars out.
She's like the way you take the cars.
They use the brothers, the,
that's what she would have been up doing.
She would have ended up being like,
looks, we can't fire you.
But I think I'll transfer you to some dumb department. I've watched break down videos of this. I think that's kind of was have been up doing. She would have ended up being like, looks, we can't fire you. I think that's, but I think I'll transfer
to some dumb department.
I've watched break down videos of this.
I think that's kind of was, is the joke of that.
That she was such a bad cop.
She'd be a cop for so long and she's doing like,
parking lot duty at the thing because she's so horrible.
So basically she's maverick, but a police department.
She was so, top gun back in the 80s.
She's horrible.
She fired guns multiple times in school. Yeah, schools in the cafeteria across
the cafeteria. She was fucking what reckless to say to Lee's and dog pen all is now better.
The penalty is punching students to to to fight and cover and pulls us pulls a piece in the
Boeing alley. Yeah, I'm not a sur surf check, he just fucking pulled out of 45.
Cause a lady said freeze.
Yeah, that stole his car.
Cause a pick pocket.
Oh, it was a pick pocket.
Oh, yeah.
Banned.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket.
We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. that of course yeah still posted yeah I'm kind of like where yeah I don't know it's somewhere on the
Internet yeah it saves every summer some on YouTube yeah on no on on the actual like there's a
podcast yeah yeah yeah on like on audience on all yeah it should be it was never taken down and then
it's still for free on film rise on YouTube you watch all the 20 jump streets but you're gonna do
a bring back of that sky and fast say what they've really taken, they've gone with that theory though,
like making things unbelievable to make them
like a cooler story.
I forgot the pilot was two parts.
S for you, you know.
Do S for you.
S for you, the things on that where it's like,
how close to let you, they would do with this.
Like stop, it goes, all right, Johnny Depp,
you're going undercover to find the people
who killed your girlfriend. Or they keep telling them to stay away from it, but they just leave them off. do with this. Stop, it goes, all right, Johnny Depp, you're going undercover to find the people who
killed your girlfriend, or they keep telling them to stay away from it, but they just leave them off,
and you will. But you will.
But you will. It's not for you.
But my favorite, S for you is not only is they use this little boy to be a bisexual character,
a Benson son. But it's not Benson's son. I've told you before, right? Benson's son is a victim that she was helping,
and then the victim got killed in the drug world,
and she had a baby, and so the judge just said,
like, yeah, sure, detect the Benson,
you can keep the baby, and that's her son now.
That scene is so great.
I'm gonna rock that show, see you.
Yeah, what legality.
I knew that it was bad.
Oh, I'm by. Yeah. It's one of the funniest things. There he goes, mom was not oh I'm by yeah, one of the funniest things there you guys mom
What if I'm by she's like I think that's a party no
Yeah, she's like I told the they were making fun of this kid calling him gay
So I told them that I'm by and then everyone's like what and she was like
Thank you so much for sharing that with me. He's nine. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I want to fuck dinosaurs when I was nine.
Clearly, I would probably take anything.
Yeah, I was like, dude, a traceratops hanging out out front.
I'm probably going to stick my little wiener in its big old butthole.
Bye.
It never gets better than Walker.
I have AIDS.
Walker.
I have AIDS.
Well, that show brings us to now, which I hate. Is that why you don't want to drink my milk?
Remember that I was mad at you to share his milk?
I'm like I mean, I didn't share your milk,
it's fucking weird to share milk with a man.
Yeah.
AIDS or not.
I gotta get some milk, a small box of milk.
No, you can just have half of mine.
I tung it.
And I have AIDS in the 80s.
I have AIDS.
I have AIDS.
I'm very confusing and unknown disease. You wanna know what's wild, Jacob? You wanna know what's wild? I have eights in the 80s. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights.
I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have to it. I feel like we were on the we were going to start breaking into more PSAs Because when you when a PSA would show up at the end of a tournament drum street, you're like
Save time to make up to show. Sometimes we would freak out when you would be watching it because
You just watch it and then when you find out what the plot would be you get excited to know what they're gonna drive home
And like when you'd be like, oh, it's gay bashing
Yeah, you know, they're not gonna handle it well
Oh, it's gay bashing. Bring.
Oh, yeah.
You know, they're not going to handle it well because they're not.
They're so dated.
It's in the 80s.
And then sure, it will cost them a good one with it.
It's all that cocaine energy.
Like we're talking about top gun.
That's show.
The show writer was maybe a genius because what they did when are you said mentioned before
jiggle, I think you'll find this funny about them incorporating into the script of the
show, what's going on in real life. So on the nose one time that the episode was
Doug Penthal and Tommy Hanson were on detail
to protect a Hollywood guy who dressed exactly
like Johnny Depp.
Was a diva.
Exactly.
In fact, the same guitar.
Same outfit.
Yeah.
That Johnny Depp was wearing in the first episode
when they made him cool, when they made him dress cool. He's wearing the same outfit that Johnny Depp was wearing in the first episode when they made it cool when they made him dress cool
He's wearing the same out and there and he's a guy and he's like an asshole and it's like it's the whole thing
It's his personality's a real fucking jerk off and they all hate him
So do you wonder if this Johnny Depp read that and he goes hey Colin are you being serious about
Jack like I don't know what you're doing is this
Are you trying to say this is Peter?
I don't know what you're doing. Is this, are you trying to say this is Peter?
Because we can't do it.
Yeah, it's somebody else.
It's an actor who's playing a cop also.
Yes, he's playing a cop in schools,
like it's like doing their thing.
And he's like a badass like what,
and but it's like everyone fucking hate it.
But exactly, he's also got like a,
they have it like he's,
there's like an ensemble cast to some degree.
And when they go outside of filming in the school,
like all the pop
rossi goes right around him and ignores all the other stars. It's like it's just they
just do it to be like, yeah, fuck Johnny death.
So which brings us to today. Ari does not know, but the Johnny Depp Amber herd trial has
concluded the jury is in with a verdict. Can I guess say my guess? Yeah before let's say this let before you say a guess
There's let's take a look at those go say there's four verdicts, right?
I just want to know is there any chance that either one of them gets the chair no
Firing squad yes, okay
There's four verdicts four verdicts. So for two people, say, on the three, so at the three of them are verdicts,
verdicts one, of her defaming him.
I'm heard defaming him, and then the same vice versa.
No, no, no, just go, I'll give him to you one at a time.
You tell me what you think.
Can I just say also the last time I was waiting for a verdict?
What's impressive, I didn't know.
I was in sociology class in college
where the teacher allowed one student
to listen to the headphones for the OJ verdict.
One student?
What?
She was like, everyone has to alarm
because we don't know when this is coming in.
And then she's like,
we got it, we got it.
Stop the class.
Any put on TV?
Not TV, just like say it, say it out loud.
She was, this just in.
OJ's free
Who's up for footballs across the room jumping over table juice
Fuckin Jewish riot
Because look you talk about those riots out in LA, but you didn't see what happened you sheave it down and fucking Baltimore
Goldmins will have that day in court.
This one's big, you know, well, so this is the rematch.
Amber heard Goddaman the UK at the brawl at the O2.
But she got him in court in the UK.
Yeah, she won the, she won the suit in England
where I think was he, can you bring it up?
I don't know. She didn't win the suit, he lost the suit against the suit in England where I think was he can you bring it up I don't know he was so she
didn't win the suit he lost the suit against the sun the sun yeah the sun that's the she did
the article with the sun and he tried to suit them for defamation for defamation by printing what she
said and he lost he lost so she got she got the first one just like Rocky so he brought her here
but Rocky and then Johnny Depp just like Rocky too
He went and trained and there's three there's four verdicts three of them were the charges
Three on her are defamation on him three different charges of it. She's suing him for defamation
No, three of them him
Suing her he sent for defamation and then she's suing and then one of her suing him back for defamation
Yeah, okay, So that's for
What do you think what do I think? Yeah, because Christine you said that you said
history is it's completely
I mean we have the public it's in itself. We see your show into us. We don't see the whole court, but it's a pure
Landslide. I'll say in essence though. whatever it so I'm gonna guess he wins up he wins all three
The from what I've seen he went all anyone so smart getting a hotter. Oh, that's right a hotter
female
Lawyer to offset her hotness and
You're gonna cry well. I'm as hot as you and I will not always his lawyer. Yeah, she wasn't as hot as
she's can percuted. She was adorable.
They she came out and and did her little
speed her hand was shaking reading the paper.
Like she's not used like she could do it in court,
but like that public speaking made her nervous.
Yeah, you know that.
She was thrilled.
She was sitting.
He was sitting in a giant wooden chair
with a goblet of wine.
And anyway, I know how we're going to beat her called it.
The only thing that can defeat a hot woman is another hot woman.
Well, it wasn't the hot one because didn't Kate Moss eventually testify.
I didn't see any of her testimony, but like, I think she did sing that Amber hers
lying. He never pushed me down the stairs.
Yeah, she came in and said, he, she helps, she pushed Kate Moss on the stairs.
Yeah.
That's it.
That didn't happen.
Yeah, I slipped and, and they were in some island.
It was the terrain.
Yeah, that's what a, that's what a trained bitch would say.
And she said that in the sun, like,
and he pushed Kate Moss.
And then he's through the sun.
I was like, well, you can't just, that's it.
And happened.
You can't just write something.
Yeah, I hope that they should make a court.
Like, the, be fun. There was court video though, well, you can't just, that's it. It happened. You can't just write something. They should make a court. Like, the, be fun.
There was court video, though, when they go, Miss Moss,
did he, in fact, push you down the stairs?
And she looks over there and he goes,
fuck, dude, she goes, no, I fell.
There was a storm and I'm so stupid and clumsy.
I'm skinny.
It was slippy.
The wind gets me.
I'm an idiot.
I just, it hurt when I fall.
And it's so little.
Yeah.
I rolled down.
Kate Moss.
Yeah, she came and said like,
free Johnny.
She's a free Johnny best dick I ever had.
They went to hang out together.
To say she's into the mic.
She's like Johnny that best dick I ever had.
When the jury started deliberating,
he took her to London.
Well, he took it off.
Well, he's playing with Jeff.
Thanks for doing this for me.
He's playing with Jeff Beck right now. Yeah.
He like went on stage with Jeff Beck.
He didn't show up for the verdict today because he was busy jamming with Jeff Beck.
Yeah, one of the fucking lives.
He goes, I don't know. I could go while this the guitar gently weeps.
I said, Jeff Beck. I could be watching my demonic ex-wife get humbled in court.
Or I could be shredding with the guitar. He didn't show up for the verdict because he doesn't case like I already played it down.
I don't have to be there.
I don't think he knows he's not gonna, he wasn't gonna jail either.
He wasn't gonna lose his case.
I'll be having a spot of purple with Jeff Beck, like the money comes ruling.
A spot of purple.
There was a chance that they both defamed each other, right?
Sure.
And then, here's the chance.
There's a chance that these just two hot wild idiots. She has to pay him 15 million
15 million dollars and there's also
They're almost at a goal. What I don't know what they say their goal is
But they're looking for 4.5 million signatures to have her removed from Aquaman 2 big mistake and they're close to it
If I'm the producers of Aquaman cut in every
interfilm with her, cut it in.
Whatever you thought you're gonna leave out, put it all in now.
Yeah, because I want to see that crazy on.
You don't be really funny though.
If she goes true, if her and Aquaman get into a fight and then she leaves
little fish shits on it, right?
Right.
You fish turtied in my, in my water bed. She goes you know what I maybe I'll sleep on the couch
Amber we got we got some extra scenes to film the floaties
Do you mind filming the shit scenes Johnny Depp ever heard trial amber herds lawyer was too confident source
So now now does he get does he sue Disney for his fucking film rolls back?
Well, I was like, none of this happened.
You fired me for none of this happened.
Can I get, can you, what, you fired me for no reason?
In the end, he should.
I don't really think Johnny Depp, they just didn't.
Damn dude, he fucking was just at a pub.
He's gonna have land while the, while the, while the verdict came in,
he was just out having fucking boot.
He'll have a pure resurgence because he was on his way. I mean Johnny Depp just did
like a straight to video movie about one of the cops who's trying to solve the biggie and two
pop murders. No really. That's where he was at right there. So I think this will give him a resurgence
because I'll tell you what you get him a trainer again for some just because some of the fat out of
that face because he's still gorgeous. Adam's is writing in.
He is still gorgeous.
And the way he was so cool to him,
he was like, was this a box for cocaine?
He was like, I mean,
yeah, people might do cocaine out of it.
Yeah.
I love, yeah.
I mean, that grumpy,
I mean, how are you ever gonna get past?
He called a shit a grumpy.
Did you say I would never keep cocaine in that?
It would fall all over the place.
It's a crazy place to keep cocaine.
It would fall over the floor.
You know, while that is a good point, damn it.
Because did you say you did cocaine with those feelings?
Yes.
They kept thinking, ask him if he did cocaine was going to
like bring the house down.
And he was like, I'm, I guess I could save you an
next question.
I'm very interested in doing cocaine.
Why do you have something there?
I've been doing cocaine for 40 years I don't feel he's thinking about
that's everyone around me it's basically baby aspirin at this point he's
really like I mean yeah it's great talking about like daily maintenance cocaine
or you talk about like a band right I have my morning cocaine I have my
post-workout cocaine I mean imagine they put you on the stand it's like Mr.
Oakerson is a true or not?
Do you have smoked marijuana cigarette?
Yeah, you're like, I have.
Yeah, what's the question you're getting today?
Is there a chance when you made these claims
that you were under the influence of marijuana?
More than likely.
What's it like, I mean, hours in a day,
yep, yep, problem.
I was awake.
Was it early morning?
Was it like stupid early morning? Like are we talking? Maybe not. Listen before 2 p.m.
Strong chance. I was not
this still the savage commercial still suck
But here's the thing they suck
But if you were young you'd go you go right back to 21 jumps you can go he looks so fucking cool
And if you're a 20 something year old girl, you're still going like Johnny Depp still has it
And if you're yep a 40 something year old girl
You're like Johnny Depp never lost it. You're like you're still going
It vindicates all the people who go I don't believe her and like you have to believe a woman and like the court doesn't and so now what about
The crazy bitches and so no one's gonna say they're gonna be like well
She does seem like that, but you never know they still won't be able to say. Ah nah. She's fucking nuts
She lost in court. No, you still can't yeah for sure. They'll still take her side
I'm shredding the desert shredding the desert. I didn't do the stuff in the wolves know it the wolves know that I was always innocent
Wolves don't hang with the guilty
This is survived. It's for wolves who The wolves know that I was always innocent. Wolves don't hang with the guilty.
This is survives. It's for wolves who...
...dead some black guilty men.
We're hanging in there.
Now, Native Americans carry these wall of marshals off your sacred land.
So be walking my wolves.
So be the high chief that's buried somewhere under this flat.
I trained my wolves off leash. Sorry, the high chief is buried somewhere under this flat.
I trained my wolves off leash.
Thank you, Justin Silver.
Can you please not, I didn't tie a knot in leash.
Also, thank you, please don't curse me,
I'll pull to a waist.
I did it same with wolves once.
With wolves?
Yeah, they made him chase after me.
Oh fuck, for the entry.
I'm just not entering.
Yeah, and I was running, and I mean, I pulled a hammy.
I was like, for a real frighten.
Yeah.
All right, all right.
We're going to release the Hollywood wolves.
Yeah. They're snarl- goes oh shit. I'm sorry
We only have two takes of white fang
He's got another shoot up down. Yeah
Can you go is there a video of him playing on stage with Beck? Yeah, yeah the other night
Because again, he didn't look at his face looks very bloated in court But I bet he drops that hair down throws on a fucking he looks awesome
But I bet he drops that hair down throws on a fucking he looks awesome You guys don't really statement. Yes, I do
I'll see you so much below and do drink so much and look awesome Christine don't move the statement cuz I'm gonna read it
It's a lot of stuff to get I guess they answer this before you start reading do paragraph by paragraph
I'll write down a lot of regiments for sure because I promise you this guy wakes up rough. Yeah, right?
It's a thing and what we're doing is again
That's why you're seeing like that you You're seeing his after fucking trial every day, he's going
home, he's fucking rock and wine. He's probably getting ass. He's doing all kinds of shit
and then showing up for court in the morning. You're catching a fucking guy who's probably
is arguably an alcoholic on his morning face every day because that that fucking salvage commercials a year ago he looked great there
It's like unbelievable right so it still looks like hand again. Do you think it's a hair make it before court every day a little bit
Touch up price. I'm gonna come by yeah give a little
The car in the way over court judge. Yeah, probably something put a little spritz on or something
Yeah, a little bit as best you could with morning fucking alcoholic bloat.
Sorry, I was up late night still.
I was up late last night painting a Paul Newman picture
that I had printed out and had put Freenon to it.
You've seen his art, right?
Yeah, painting over a better art.
I've seen the NFT.
He's just a tagger.
Sorry, so I'm going to be having about four or five bottles
of campaign.
So sometimes it's just like a picture of 12 pack of campaign. Sometimes it's just like a picture of 12 pack of campaign.
Sometimes it's just like a picture of Hunter S. Thompson
and then like the art is an NFT of him writing
with like his finger on a iPhone picture
looks like going like,
M-I-Rite.
Like over, that's his art.
That's great.
Hot people can't be stopped.
You can only hope that the pain, that's true.
He'll say on NFT of him writing a word like
Icon
Over like and that's what you'd own is the NFT that you buy a beach. Yeah, the beach. Oh, this is cool
So you own an image of that and the word icon being written
Sloppy I'm telling you like it was done like a finger writing on like paint or something. It's not.
It's not.
We're on goddamn profession.
I know.
Well, we should be famous.
I know.
That's just what it is.
It's business being famous.
Yeah, I love the famous.
Here's his NFTs.
Dude, never fear truth.
Look, it hold not cigarette.
I love him.
And it kind of looks like Ralph Steadman drew it,
but you can tell the letter.
NFTs is never fear truth.
It's not.
This was your older brother and you brought a chick home to visit.
And this guy lives in in your parents' house still.
And he's doing this when you walk in with your chick,
you're worried you're a guy.
He's, you go, that's my brother.
He's a fucking loser though.
He just, you know, like, I get everything about him.
It's pretty rad.
But like, he's a fucking loser.
Hey, John, I like this one.
So can you not make it weird?
Who's the guy that's dating?
Well, you decide you want to go live
that corporate lifestyle. Oh, fuck. So you're making make it weird? Who's the guy that dated? Well, you decide you want to go live that corporate lifestyle.
Oh, fuck.
So you're making my girl so wet.
Stop saying that.
You're sorry, you're a cog in the machine.
This guy with less success is the
Mom dated American dad's daughter.
Yeah.
Yeah, tell her.
Jeff, Jeff.
Yeah.
Totally.
Jeff, he's hot Jeff.
That's what Jeff.
You know, it's really cool about
wearing a scarf indoors. Is it does absolutely zero's really cool about wearing a scarf indoors?
Is it does absolutely zero?
Yeah, it's wearing a scarf indoors.
It's gonna get a lot of the art.
It's the least functional thing for this.
He's hoping the God it swoops into that art somehow.
So then when he wears that scarf out
with like a suit one night, they're gonna go,
what's that on your scarf?
It goes from one of my paintings.
My NFTs, I'm into, yeah, I'm into block chain.
I do want to own a dep.
I would like to own one.
Get you a dep.
We should get a dep for the studio.
Yeah, it would really brighten up the studio.
I have a dep in here.
I've never been so layered indoors in my life.
I've never layered.
I'm always, yeah, I wonder if he hides stuff in between the layers
like little treats, like you take the hat off
and you're like, oh, hey, look at that.
Fucking jello. Oh, all right. Let's go to that statement. Treats like you take the hat off and you're like oh, hey look at that Fucking generals
All right, let's I go to that statement. Yeah, where he says six years ago my life the life of my children the lives of those
Closes to me and also the lives of the people
Many years
Support and believe in me forever change dude. That is the longest way to say that. Yeah.
For me and my neighbors, his brothers go right in the mirror. Fucking tight. No, this is
him. This is 100% him. You don't think so? You don't think it. Yeah, people.
Chaffiniform. All in the blink of an eye. False, very serious, incremental allegations
were levied at. I dreamed of an ego last night So I knew victory was upon as I laid in my bed
I could feel the earth moving beneath me and I knew justice was around the corner as I slumbered my coffin shaped bed
My visions became a clarity. I've never had
My head while in the earthly realm laid on velvet in the godly realm laid in truth
I astral projected on this last night and I found a couple things one I hung out at a hog and does
Pretty cool
You get into that and it's like basically a swimming pool of
Fresh milk in every batch. This is crazy. The hues of ones emotions are but dreams of a neverland.
I just swung over to a changing room at a gymnastics place.
Because why not?
Because you know, ghost gatti.
You know, astral projection.
Tune out.
Tune out your horny when you Astral projection.
I yoke it on this this morning.
False, very serious and criminal allegations are levied
at me via the media which triggered an endless barrage of hateful content.
Check out my MFT.
Although my charges, although charges were never brought against me, it has already traveled
around the world twice.
Have you ever wondered
what Willie Nelson picture would look like if his bandana was pink? Crazy, right? How much
you could have that more over it? And if D's how much how much money do I have on you?
I'm willing to barter. Would you like to barter? I'll take an installment plan. I'll take your wife scarf and
$10,000. I'll free it from its chains of
Freak and mountain top and six years later the jury gave me my life back. I am truly humbled
Humboldt what's it? Yeah my decoy my decision my decision decision, my decision to pursue this case, knowing very well the height of the legal hurdles that I would be facing in the inevitable worldwide
spectacle into my life was only made after considering that's true.
Considerable.
He knows even going.
It's like this is the smallest person in my life.
No, it's crazy.
You supposed to have a magnifying glass to read this?
Is that how partages?
Can't they do shift? Oh, they do do shift from the very beginning the goal of bringing these
This case this case was to reveal the truth regardless of the outcome
The truth is so
Truth is is that God is all around us. Sometimes God's in a poop on your bed
Like three Kalana like three look at that majestic sword. I actually had some I
Did some the wings of justice have have unfurled. I saw all this happened in the ayahuasca trip
The night two weeks ago to Dalai Lama. You know he's leading them
Yeah, boy. Is not even on them.
Do you guys want to fuck with Noon or River via 92?
I guess your bad news.
Speaking of truth was something that I owed to my children and to all those who have remained
steadfast in their support of me.
I feel at peace knowing I have finally accomplished that.
Wait, this is a two-parter?
Yeah, it looks like it.
Is it?
And the next is going to be an NFT. You can own this. Oh, dude
Why don't I make it a three-parter and get a little bigger on the font?
Yeah, really. I am and have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and the colossal support and kindness from around the world.
Now before I move on, I do want to say here. I don't't know for sure but I want to click on some and see
He's got to right away a whole bunch of messages of love and support from from people with checkboxes. I think they're all
Instagram hose
Yeah, Ryan Adams who's in neck and neck with him for who loves Instagram hose from telling you I mean chicks
He's like hey, I'll fuck you. I don't have the pussy like she has but I got something so funny
Oh my butt Johnny Depp I low you
Tina Lackner of course yep hot for sure Bianca
Sale up with one million followers dude
It's hilarious yeah oh goal to it's very top ones
Those first one is Chloe Saxon I bet a million 1.1 million followers. Yeah with that but she deserves
12 million follow that damn
Who the fuck is this the fuck is lazy?
Johnny Depp just has all these sexy ladies. She goes thank God you're finally at that courthouse
Can I please sucks justice out of your dick?
God, I need your coming, my man.
I mean, that lady.
Oh, my God.
She just breaks down like nerdy shit.
She's like season two of 21 JavaScript
was clearly filmed as a parody.
Dude, what do you do when you're built solely to fuck?
There is no other thing.
She is, other side of floating, if she's like a human buoy.
She has.
Besides that, she is not built for anything in the world.
Instagram holes following her. Of course, she's like a human buoy. But besides that, she is not built for anything in the world. She Instagram holes following her.
Of course, she's like a comics comic.
She's like a whore's whore or they're like, you guys think you're good.
This girl oils up and two pieces it.
Also the bottom tit falling out like the boobs are too big for the bikini.
Too big.
That's like, that's just irresponsible shopping.
I believe my two Jewish friends Arya and Jay would tell me that. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,. I believe my two Jewish friends, Ari and Jay, would come to that.
If her father's around, his head is always in his hands.
Oh, my God.
Are you ripping apart like an Amistad with a chick trying to hold onto her son's hands?
Yeah.
I'm gonna do it.
But that's like, what are you doing today?
It's like, oh me and my friend taking a picture of our butts with bikes.
There's a pig in the top.
She doesn't have one picture of her and just regular clothes.
She's like, yeah. Yeah, she just has to put on bikinis. She's like, you know, her and just regular clothes. She's like, yeah, she's
just has to put on bikinis. She's like, you know, you ever just want to wear a fucking
a style of a state cyclone shirt jeans hurt my weird shape. Yeah, she was honestly if I
put a t-shirt on my tits get pushed to the side. Yeah, one tits. I don't know. Nothing fits
right at all. I have to wear that she's in the airport. She's like, sir, I have to wear
this. My but miss your pussy lips hanging out. She's in the airport. She's like, sir, I have to wear this. My bug.
Miss your pussy lips hanging out.
She goes, if not, it's something weird else is happening.
It's funny when you see like, who does she follow?
For some reason.
As I'm ex-wise, and it's like never like, she follows Shultz.
Is there a way to find out?
Yeah.
Go to following.
A parasolton.
Shout out parasolton.
We're following.
Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp is so funny. She's like, Johnny!
Now we're following Johnny Depp.
Is there any way?
What if you follow back?
He's like, I heard the podcast guys and fuck you.
There's an F.T.s are really hard.
I really want to see.
Listen, I don't know if this girl's going to follow comics.
Is there any way you can find out?
No, probably not.
She doesn't know anything about comedy, but you're right.
It might be like the Seenster ones.
Shoes or just definitely like it's a
Chrissy date and she's like, I love that you talk about your daughter
Elvis Presley falls Elvis
I don't know what that is like a rose. She's not gonna be a good audience member. Oh
Zero chance. She'll be on her phone the whole show
40 followers or though, she you she follows it for a nice
Dan yeah, you guys got something to talk about now. I'm like, so what do you think of you 40s versus who?
Do you like Sluricane? She's like I don't know my tits have never been away this long do you mind?
No, it's fine. That's it babe totally whatever you guys you know, I'm just
Her just walking down a regular guy. Yeah, we're just both here. It's I don't know that thing. Joe list
She's like I love his neurotic yet accurate portrayal life. Oh by the way she calls herself a singer first and foremost, please
please God
Please get all this is our only fans for your only fans. Oh wait. She has some music on them. Yes
It's our only fans for your only fans. Oh wait. She has a music on it. Yes. Oh, there's a website to website
This is gonna be better than that fuck I bet it's good. I bet it's produced well left I can't tell yeah my nerd that likes her. Oh, if you like heard it in a club
You just think it's a real song doesn't make it good
I
Thanks, I bet the most I bet the most yeah, I bet the most it'd be a girl that like a Mac Oh my god, I've never seen that so special fucking shit
But he was hey lady I just need my eggs here at the time here
You go hey, can I get my coffee? I understand you're like
Sizing up the other waitress Lindsey Jennings did a song like this I gotta say for speaking for this girl here well I don't
know for sure but I have to guess the the dicks that are most wet with Instagram
uh-ho pussy yeah is music producer guy like local producers because they can
make if you tell these girls like what's your real aspirations they all all
them are gonna be like,
well, I wanna like sing and dance and whatever they go.
They're singers, something I have no training in.
They go, I can make you a song,
you can put out the people go exactly.
If you told me this was a new popular song by Doja Cat,
I don't know any song, sure, okay.
Do you know what I mean?
I don't know the difference.
So like, it's as good as any of that,
but this is just a talentless knit wit
who just got her body carved up to do one thing
on the carved up.
And it's natural, shut up, that's natural.
I'm sorry, Gary.
Yeah, dude.
I don't mean to say that to you guys.
Just gifted.
God made that.
Like God.
No.
She's just eating simple carbs to hold it.
You're just eating simple carbs to hold it.
You're just eating simple carbs to hold it.
You're just eating simple carbs to hold it.
You're just eating simple carbs to hold it.
You're just eating simple carbs to hold it. Well, listen, you don't get fucking assing tit like if they are natural you don't get that not eating macarons by the gris by the grip
Yeah, dude. She's got a high protein eating any of this dress like pegbundi in half the videos
You don't think she's feel it. I bet she eats I bet she fucking
Snacks down on food. You're just like what Whitney Cummings and mages or so
Excuse me miss. I'm still waiting, again,
I'm waiting on my eggs.
I gotta go to work.
At this point, this diner's gonna be fucking worse.
I'm gonna take this, the day of the day.
By the way, the new thing, when I've talked to like
super hot chicks now, like when you,
like they, when you're doing your man on the street
with super hot chicks.
Yeah, no, I was just saying when you talk to,
when you have to show, or on the road, or whatever.
I'm telling you, they always say they do the opposite
of what you'd think, whether they're lying
or I don't know why they would,
but they're just like, I'm all about like 3 a.m.
let's get pizza and wings and fall asleep in the box.
They did that once.
Yeah, that's who I am.
I remember getting my dick sucked by a lady who had told me she never
Fucked in the first day
Blooby in the call was driving on a first date. She is right
So she's done. She fucked out. Did not fuck. Oh, she fucked my mouth. We gotta take a break
Should we come back and listen to her other song?
And we'll get back to this verdict. I would like full album full album. Wow. Yeah, she fucking she came back and fucked this guy a couple times
He's like to do the whole album. It's oh, we also have which we should get into
Some areane has a lot did it first-life performance. Yeah
And this looks like the Jeff Beck and Johnny Depp. Oh, please. I want to see you look at that. Yes, verdicts in, I shred. You. You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You.
You. You. You. You. You. He's at Tim it with the hat. I'll tell you what though. He does a little fromp. He looks fat
He looks like the do it from AC DC now Brian Johnson. No, the guy with the with the wears the hat
Maybe it's Brian Johnson. Yeah, I don't know what is exactly you're talking about this. No, you fucking it
He's the lead singer of AC DC with that hat
I have no idea right? He was I don't know what his name is. Maybe you're saying the right thing
He looks like Neil Young, dude.
He doesn't look good.
He's gotta get it together a little bit.
Are you ready, buddy?
You got 15.
Yeah, exactly.
He did some stress eating, but it's time to get back
in the game, dude.
Johnny Depp, dude, his hair looks like shit
for the first time in his life ever.
That bad.
Do you think he called anywhere,
I need 20 pounds of conditioner.
I need a personal trainer in some time in my island.
It's time to rock this, though.
I need a hot iron, prun TC.
No, I gotta hear that. Do you do do do do do based wine? It's good for working out.
Well, also have your teeth purple.
Well, did you know?
Ah, let's say a break.
We'll be right back.
Arish Fierce hanging out.
Go see his special taping, June 11th and June 12th
in Brooklyn, Arish Fierre.com for tickets.
Go see Big J on the road, coming up with Burt Kreischer
on the Burt Kreischer's fully loaded festival,
Toslo, Oklahoma, Albany, New York for tickets another tour dates
Could a big J comedy dot com?
And then Dan Sot is gonna be a grand rap to guys June 34th. That's this weekend. Grand Rap. So I mean J went there
It's a Friday and Saturday great to and then London so hotheter. That's not London Ontario. No, that's the OG London. Oh, yeah
So hotheter June 13th through June 19th through June 10th
For tickets and all their tour dates. They don't celebrate it there. I'm so white. I'm so white. I can get the country for June 10th
Yeah, they made him leave Dan's been exported for June 10th
They go the Brits are like we'll tie you for that week you fucking I
Get tickets now London a dance soda dot com guys London. You've never seen like dancoder instead of your dumb fuck ass comedy real america it's not like fucking faulty towers or whatever
other crocus shit you shut down my fucking late night television throat when I was a child
hey abfabs pretty good some people say and then I slap them
you guys pull that pull your dick shams back over your dickhead and go to the Soho theater June 13th through June 19th
So Doctor who the fuck is this?
Sherlock Holmes sucks to danceoder.com everybody for tickets and all other tour dates
Bonfire merch blah blah blah. We'll be right back everybody. It's the bonfire
I'm glad we'll be right back everybody, it's the Bonfire.