The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Johnny Depp Verdict (feat. Ari Shaffir)

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

6th and Jump Alum Ari Shaffir joins The Bonfire as the gang reads the Johnny Depp verdict!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Ap...ply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM@DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Everybody our guests are he's a fear is gonna be taping his new special Jew again in Brooklyn That's June 11th and 12th get it Jew for June that's June 11th and 12th Saturday and Sunday It is awesome is gonna be fucking amazing. There are some seats available get tickets again at areychefier.com Aris h a ff ir calm. Don't blow it. Dan Soder is going to be in Grand Rapids this weekend. Everybody June 3rd and 4th Friday and Saturday. Then he's going to be in London. Everyone to Soho theater. You can get ready. That's June 13th through June 19th for tickets and all of Dan's tour dates. Go to Dan Soder dot com. Tulsa Oklahoma, Albany, New York, get ready. Bert Christchurch's fully loaded festival is headed in a town with Big J on
Starting point is 00:00:44 it. It's going to be a hell of a show, going all over this fine country of ours. For tickets and tour dates, go to bigjcomedy.com to see where Jason's going to be. And we'll get back to the podcast. And guys, head over to amberhurt.com slash prices on everything right now. Merch is just, just falling out the door. Fire sale. Get it what you can. Christine Marie Evans loves snacks.
Starting point is 00:01:07 And now, the bonfire with Big J. Ocarson and Dan Soder. Jacob hates New York. Jacob, you really? I on? You're snake play hell, yeah. I hear nothing out of these headphones. I'm hearing everything. Oh, there, they weren't plugged in.
Starting point is 00:01:22 I'm hearing it all. There it is now. Like, I just missed a fist bump. Damn, that's a week. I'm hearing everything. Oh, they weren't plugged in. I'm hearing it all. There it is now. Like, I just missed a fist bump. Damn, that was a week. I got it. Damn. And we can be cute. Blue, watch some of them over here.
Starting point is 00:01:31 Give me one of them fist bumps. I love so much. Just bump. Yes, dude. Oh, man, even the re-fist bump never. Juneteenth? Juneteenth. It's today's Juneteenth.
Starting point is 00:01:40 No, it's coming. It's coming up. Now, today's the first day of gay pride month. Also, lose them for up. That's coming up. Today's the first day of gay pride month. Also, Luzon for both. Triple kiss. LGBTQLMNLP, DJ Liu. It's also Johnny Depp, verdict day. Wow.
Starting point is 00:01:53 It just happened to be that Ari was gonna be on the show regardless. Why don't we tell everybody what the show is? Oh, it's the Bonfire, Series XM, Faction Talk. 103, I'm Dan Soder. That's Big Jogerson, Full Crew in the House, DJ Lewitsky, black king the black tiger Lewis joo
Starting point is 00:02:09 so Christine Mariavins and Jacob the top and our guests well you got the sixth and junk boys back together is what you fucking got you got right he's taping his special a big day for six and Joe, he's taping his special JOOOOOO! In Brooklyn, I wanted to do it like Norman. JOOOOOO! Uh, June 11th, June 12th. I see him. He's going to work.
Starting point is 00:02:30 He's saving his new special. JOOOO. I try to put a little, I try to put a little German schnitzel on it. Like a German people in the audience. JOOOO. Uh, Saturday sold out, right? No, we added seats, so.
Starting point is 00:02:43 Alright. Hurry up. R-E-S-K-D-D-S, but June 11th, June 12th in Brooklyn, go get your tickets. Yeah. Way to tape a special call, Jew in a building probably owned by a Jew. Yeah. In June. In June. It's June.
Starting point is 00:03:00 That's right. We're taking it back from blacks. Well, did you, you were leasing it to them? June 10th you can have it for a year or so. I want to talk about raising the rate on it. I tell you, Joe, I could never make work in that special because I'll buy Judaism. Homosexuality since it is June is just something you have to avoid in Judaism. You're not written off. You're just like, it's like gluttony. You're like, I know you got the inclination. Just say no.
Starting point is 00:03:23 Just say no. I stopped yourself from doing gay stuff. Still want to sin a god, but come on. Well, we found out yesterday that you can get creative with your Yamaha designs even, but just you can't do a gay thing. Can't put a dick on it. You can't put a toe.
Starting point is 00:03:36 But you could definitely, you want to throw a mercant over your weiner, have at it, who knows. Right. You can think about who you want while you're masturbating, but you can't masturbate. Wait, what? Really? You're not supposed to. You could think about whoever you want while you're masturbating, but you can't masturbate Really? You're not supposed to you can think about whoever you want while you're having sex really yeah You can think about just while you're having sex
Starting point is 00:03:51 Concentually with a woman who has faith while you're stuffing while you're stuffing poop into a vagina So it feels like a butthole it's always it's always a skill for God for you It's always these Jewish rules that make me see that definitely you guys were the first religion to get it together because it's all like survival rules. Uh-huh. So like don't eat dirty meat on Sundays. And then the Christians just have it like a little less. It's a little more watered down. I don't quite get it.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Yeah, I always love these during the summer. Christian, you can quickly find me. Could you quickly find the the family guy thing, Christine, where if you can't where Meg asks the the kid was a year when they said they're gonna become Jewish yeah because we're mechs a year Meg like eyes big go big and she goes mom she goes is saw to me illegal in the Jewish faith and she goes I hope so Meg I really do it. It's over slides over and Peter's like smiling real big because it's not low. It's not so funny. My favorite Jew thing from a family guy is them talking to Mort about he's like, oh, my business is not doing well.
Starting point is 00:04:50 And she was, why don't you have a sale? He goes, I don't understand what that means. Have you ever been to a sale? Oh, I love sales. I'm trying to sell. I'm not hearing you. That is great. This is great.
Starting point is 00:05:00 The kids from now on, this is where we'll celebrate the Sabbath. Peanut, this is all unnecessary. Our life was fine the way it was. Check it out, I'm wanting you guys now, huh? I'm QAs. Yeah, holocaust! Number one! Look at all these short hairy men.
Starting point is 00:05:18 God, I feel like I'm on the forest moon of Endor. Good afternoon. As we approach the Passover holiday, let us remember the struggle of our people as they labored under the yoke of Pharaoh's despotic rule. Hey if anyone appreciates a good yoke it's the use. That's my Jewish laugh. I'm working on a Jewish laugh. I'm so embarrassed right now. Can we please just go? Hi, you're pretty. Oh, thank you. Mom, is Sadame illegal if you're Jewish? I hope so, Meg. I really do.
Starting point is 00:05:54 It's not. It's not. It's not. It's nothing for our little bills, Osprey. Is that true? Is it true they can butt fuck? Did Jews? Women.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Women, women, women, wait a minute. Don't let me answer the board. It's wasting seed but it's not terrible. Wasting seed. That's why you can't masturbate. Same as masturbation. It's always got to go to make people. Yeah. That's where the batter goes. Do Jews find technicality like they do with, you know, on Fridays they found a thing that can release the buttons? We'll be covered in R.I.
Starting point is 00:06:24 Shafir Jew, taking Jew to the left. I'm sorry, Ari, sometimes we have very specific questions. What are Jews' opinions on Boers' head? No, but is there a, can you jerk off to not completion? Edgy? You can do that. You just can't wait to see. Damn, dude. I didn't know Jewish people invented tantrics.
Starting point is 00:06:41 You can do that. Absolutely. And actually, I'll tell you this, fucking premarital fucking with a non-Jew, almost no situation, nothing wrong. It's a shiqsa fest. Wasting time, that's about it. Really?
Starting point is 00:06:53 The same as watching Netflix on it. You've become, you've become, because you gotta come in or pussy, it's not wasting the seed. Okay, but, So if you, if you cream pie a shiqsa, yeah,
Starting point is 00:07:02 it's the same as watching Netflix. Yeah. Why? Damn, dude, dude. That's right. That's right. Where's that Humptor appearance? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Man, you should be, you should be coming to Rotic Raby. Just say all these things. Oh, you should be a Rotic Raby. That's right. But you just come in with your shirt on button and just change on your chest. Oh, hello. Oh, hello. Your're always ready to talk.
Starting point is 00:07:25 Shops. Oh, what? Shalom. Get into something more comfortable for you'll notice that my really strong chain is dancing through my chest. I find you taking the religion better when you shit's shfitsy. Why don't you get rid of those pants? I love it, dude.
Starting point is 00:07:43 It's fun when you were looking through it. I met some religious frontier Jews in Minneapolis that came on free tickets to a show And then they came back to next year They get like hey, we saw you like a great will pay This time once I know the product is good. Yeah, you will pay But we talked about it one over there for shop is lunch and like welcome with you guys and we talked about the Halacha the law there for Shobb's lunch and like, welcome with you guys. And we talked about the halacha, the law of marijuana. And they're like, it's fine. Damn.
Starting point is 00:08:09 Same as Netflix. Damn, damn, damn. Same as Netflix coming inside of a shixah. Damn, it's actually better than Netflix because you can study the tall mode. You're coming in a shixah rules though. Yeah, I do. Can't take that away.
Starting point is 00:08:21 Cream pie shixah? Cream pie shixah's dude. That's a great porn show. That's gotta be one. You know, Christine says now that I, what are the nafuckin' one of those cookies from can't take that away. Cream pie shakes. Cream pie shakes is dude. It's a great porn show. That's gotta be one. You know, Christine says now that I, what are the nafuckin' one of those cookies from me? I always get.
Starting point is 00:08:31 No, she was, she says recently that, you know, for me saying so much, you know, I'm Jewish, but I really don't identify like, I don't like people see me and see Jewish and or my personality or anything like that at all. And she goes, no, no, no, you're really Jewish. What? You see it from the outside in. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:08:52 What, what do you see? Just him being like, he doesn't like touching. He's whining. He's whining. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Two Christie's gonna come up so anti-Semitic right now.
Starting point is 00:09:01 There's no such as for always in the way. She doesn't understand that like people that aren't Jewish at all, like don't celebrate Hanukkah and don't play Dredel and didn't make a brisket for Passover and didn't like he has Jewish heritage. Because you're super high holidays. Yeah we grew up with the Jewish. You know, if you're not Jewish, like that's not a part of your life at all. I had it, my two best friends growing up on my block,
Starting point is 00:09:25 Megan and Jacqueline were Jewish. So I did have that kind of growing out, I knew what it was, but it was weird that they were Jewish. And someone, no, I thought you were saying more that I'm Jewish. We, the traits come down to it. The racial traits. No, I was talking more about you do celebrate.
Starting point is 00:09:41 I mean, do I get some of this Jewish, some of it's like single wrong? I remember I was gonna be in a really do care about your poops. I mean, do I get some of it like some of it's Jewish some of it's like I'm working over my penis. Really do care about your poops. Yeah, you've got a great internals which is always where the I have an ENT. I have an internal. These are all weird about so many Jewish. Yeah, I mean I was not bothered to be Jewish so bad. I'm a warrior. I'm a big warrior. Yeah, you see my Judaism and it happened when we went to that DevTones concert where you see my Judaism and it happened when we went to that death tones concert Where you see my Judaism come out isn't that like I worry so much about the group. I don't want to go death tones Wait, is everyone alright is everyone walking out if one person goes
Starting point is 00:10:17 Like I'm gonna go get drinks for everybody. I that that begins to count the counting clock of how much I'm feeling bad that They're not seeing the show and the roasting and then I'm worried about till they come back and when they come back I have to make sure there's room like where they were or like or in convenience myself a little to get like back so it's like no you should you went and got the drinks you should see I can see for sure that you want to make sure everyone's all right your mother handing them you spent all the time of the attic. Now you get downstairs. Yeah. Yeah. But I wish I could stop. I want to just be like, dude, just watch the fucking show.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Who cares? One of my favorite things ever, because I have a ton of anxiety and I'm always worried about everyone being mad at me. It's like a different kind of guilt. It's like, Jews have different kind of guilt than the Irish. Like my mom's Irish Catholic guilt that was like,
Starting point is 00:11:02 fucking thrusted upon me. My favorite thing is Colin Quinn put out the coloring book, which is just like a longer version of New York story, but he breaks down, he gives the situation of a guy trying to go get a job in how an Irish mother would react in an Irish American mother and a Jewish mother, and it's so funny. The way he breaks it down, because it's perfect. Immediately, the Irish American mom's like, well, you've embarrassed us, you've embarrassed the family,
Starting point is 00:11:26 you fucking idiot, and the Jewish mom's like, well why would he say he has a job for you if there's not a job there? There should be someone... Let me talk to him. Let me talk to him. And it ends up with the Irish, I forget how it completely ends, but I just know the Jewish kid gets the job
Starting point is 00:11:39 and the Irish kid's just angry. It's so funny because the Jewish mom's like, well there should be a job. Why would you say there's a job if there's not a the drugs mom's like, yeah, well, there should be a job. If there would, why would you say there's a job if there's not a job? Let's call you around, go. I think he has an in over there at the best uns.
Starting point is 00:11:50 Because you're just worried about it. You just fall down this plinco thing of like, is everyone all right, you have drinks, everyone could see, everyone's tucked in. Narosi's is a jewelry thing. Yeah, sure. I have that without a doubt. I don't know, we're Armenian and the Narosi's run high.
Starting point is 00:12:03 I was thinking about- I was thinking about- I was thinking about- I was thinking about- I have't know. I have where Armenian and the neuroses run high. You're able to pack up all your things in the blankets quickly. I was thinking about Hydro-Condria our other friend who's the biggest hypo-conjurek I know besides J's like a Catholic yeah, and then you well, yeah, I'm just you know I'm just the son of an alcoholic hey Christine. What about changing the Armenian Holocaust to half a cost? Hey, Christine, what about changing the Armenian Holocaust to half a cost? Yeah! Damn, you're in here. You're in Armenian Holocaust.
Starting point is 00:12:28 You're pulling out your big old genocide dick now. I'm sorry. Compared to genocide. Holocaust. We were the first genocide. Guys, let's turn to different news. Let's go to the world of Hollywood. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:12:39 It's something that united us through the pandemic. Do you guys now feel because of six and jump? Do you feel a stronger connection to Johnny Depp? Absolutely. Yes. I do too. I also I feel like our timing was unbelievable because when I came out People like when I did a show recently somebody was wearing she twice in the past could be someone's wearing a Tom Wheelon for president Shout out Tom Ray one of my best shirts. I'll take a moment with those guys. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I'm like for sure. Well, Lou, if you DJ, Lou,
Starting point is 00:13:07 it's give you could hit me with some bonfire context real quick. The COVID-19 epidemic was in the year 2020. And we came together to do a watch along podcast called Sixth and Jump with Jay, Ari and I, where we were we were featuring Dan and Jay. I checked. I think we are. We're legally are. We should fear featuring Dan and Jay. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other.
Starting point is 00:13:26 I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other.
Starting point is 00:13:42 I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. I'm going to check out the other. These were in depth episodes. Three hours for four to five minutes. We'll do three an hour. Three hours for two hours. Two hours a year's crazy. I mean, we couldn't believe by episode two or three how much we were like, and you know what, dude? Because we were sitting home for non-stop hours a week.
Starting point is 00:13:55 So it's like, we're like, dude, fucking, let's have one and talk, break this goofy episode. Yeah, so in depth of it, we were like, we saw just moments of it, we're like, the writers are writing about the contract disputes from the actors. Yes. They're writing the characters. It's so meta. You're being passive aggressive in a way.
Starting point is 00:14:11 Yes. Using some people, burying some people in the bathroom. We were watching so much when I did a film class in college and I wanted to write a piece on pulp fiction. And my teacher was like, okay, but you have to watch it like 15 times. I was like, not just once. It was trust me. You have to watch it more than, and I start discovering stuff 10 times in. That's what we were doing with 21 fucking jumpsuit. Yeah, we really were.
Starting point is 00:14:32 We're getting into it. And we watched, what's interesting about it is we watched Johnny Depp go from being a sought after guy kind of in Hollywood to being one of the biggest superstars in the world. By season three, he was like, I'm not showing up for this stupid. He doesn't want to do it. Yeah, it's showing up. I don't want to be here. If you don't understand that, it might mirror the fucking history of heinous.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Where? What? I'm idiot. Are you saying Chrissy D is fucking Johnny Depp of Cornel and John Street? Yeah. And so that makes Yannis, what's his name? Why can't I remember? Penhall Doug
Starting point is 00:15:09 Doug panel played by Peter Dulles thank you. I would always have I would go back and forth in the characters on the act I just asked the names Because hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff hoff blowfish dude. Dude, Janko into... Oh wow. He should have been like, at some point. Adam Fuller. Catch a fuller. It shows so good. Dude, we gotta go back. We're gonna do a lot more.
Starting point is 00:15:30 When Fuller dies because he will be the next to die, unless, depending on this verdict goes that I don't know about yet, we should go lay some flowers on his grave. Yeah, dude. All dressed is different characters. We should get to be brothers. We should get to be brothers. We should get to be people hyped up.
Starting point is 00:15:41 We're, I don't think we're dancing with. I think we're pretty locked in to do a live Sixth and jump at Skankfest this year. Yeah, I'm a new room and just fucking watch and we're gonna pick big screen it I mean, I want a Seabuck. I'd like to go with the with the last Seabuck episode the trilogy Yeah, yeah, yeah fans do want closure. Yeah, yeah, I know on your on sixton jump They want closures gonna be a lot there's five seasons. But I mean, I would never say closure. I would say, never say closure happened. I would like to see those. Who knows where monkey pox will bring.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Maybe it's the blessed we've all been looking for. Guys get ready. We're kicking it back up. Dan lost an arm. It can't breathe out of his face anymore. But we all say, yeah, we all say it's not gonna happen again. We go inside, but like if they do bring it up, that we have to go inside again party
Starting point is 00:16:25 You will think hey don't bring up the verdict. I don't look it does get a does get a Does get a six and jump back probably do when Delta was kicking up again I was like fuck like I thought we were done with this and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna prove You did several episodes of sixth and jump from a jungle Still watching the show. I got to understand. Still taking in how crazy. Sixth and still country at jump.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Jay and his old cavernous East Village apartment, and then me and Katie's guest room in front of a blank wall and then Ari in front of a gorgeous jungle. Yeah, I'm drinking out of a coconut. Yeah. And you go, oh, here comes Bandit. Oh, she brought another fish skeleton. There was a volcano behind him once. Yeah, I'm drinking out of a coconut. Yeah. You got your bandit. Oh, she brought another fish skill. I think there was a volcano behind him once. Yeah. And he's like, God damn, dude, that's crazy.
Starting point is 00:17:10 Would hops again blows their cover because she feels bad. I would love just setting up with his word backdrops. Like, oh, we're back on the cheese. Sorry. What the fuck? Yeah. The show, what we should have been able to do. And it's a shame we have not been able to do was we shouldn't have been able to get a Holly Robinson Pete on the show. Can I ask you something? I think she would laugh now at the idea goes they had you blow the spot up on every single
Starting point is 00:17:34 undercover job she had. She blew the cover by middle of the show. By the way, I'm a cop. I want to help you. Because it was always a motion. She was also too emotionally invested and would give up their, it would blow their cover. So Katie working for Apple Plus, doing baseball, does the Dodgers game,
Starting point is 00:17:52 and after the game, Holly Robinson Pete tweeted at her and was like, great job. I watched the game or whatever. And I was like, hofs! I saw that movie. Hofs, hofs, I was like, hofs, reach out to her. I want to talk to hofs, because we try getting Deloise.
Starting point is 00:18:04 We like, we want it. We're close on him, I think. We what? Reach out to her, I want to talk to Hops because we try getting Deloise. We like, we want it. We're close on him, I think. We're close on Deloise. When, I'd love to get win. Dustin win on the show. Never was pondered. Oh my God. The creator, we were gonna get on.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Oh yeah. He did say like something, he was a little shout, didn't he, the creator? He was like, I would do that. I don't know, but we love that show. Point being, we're invested more in these people. I was on a plane watching 21 Jump Street, the movie, and when they showed up at the end,
Starting point is 00:18:29 when Penahal enhanced and showed up at the end. And you played sex with my sisters wedding. I was like, I was more like, when you see your friend, when it used to feel like seeing your friend do a late night. You're like, oh, oh, my God. You know what, I did watch the show when it was on.
Starting point is 00:18:42 Did you already said? When it was on, yeah. You did watch it was on, so I, so you didn't,'t then now so it is it what the fuck's have to these headphones No, these jacks are all jacks Andy leave you in here again. That's one shit. Yeah, probably it's good now I got to fix where was I down you're talking about I didn't grow watching it. Yes So when I those movies came out when those movies came out, when those movies came out, I was watching them all from the style, J.A.S. Spect. Sure. You did it the opposite way.
Starting point is 00:19:10 You watched them until they were funny, and now isn't it fun going back and saying, like, they use hofs with the lay-ins, with that she gives the cars out. She's like the way you take the cars. They use the brothers, the, that's what she would have been up doing. She would have ended up being like,
Starting point is 00:19:22 looks, we can't fire you. But I think I'll transfer you to some dumb department. I've watched break down videos of this. I think that's kind of was have been up doing. She would have ended up being like, looks, we can't fire you. I think that's, but I think I'll transfer to some dumb department. I've watched break down videos of this. I think that's kind of was, is the joke of that. That she was such a bad cop. She'd be a cop for so long and she's doing like, parking lot duty at the thing because she's so horrible.
Starting point is 00:19:35 So basically she's maverick, but a police department. She was so, top gun back in the 80s. She's horrible. She fired guns multiple times in school. Yeah, schools in the cafeteria across the cafeteria. She was fucking what reckless to say to Lee's and dog pen all is now better. The penalty is punching students to to to fight and cover and pulls us pulls a piece in the Boeing alley. Yeah, I'm not a sur surf check, he just fucking pulled out of 45. Cause a lady said freeze.
Starting point is 00:20:07 Yeah, that stole his car. Cause a pick pocket. Oh, it was a pick pocket. Oh, yeah. Banned. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket.
Starting point is 00:20:15 We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket.
Starting point is 00:20:23 We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. We're not a pick pocket. that of course yeah still posted yeah I'm kind of like where yeah I don't know it's somewhere on the Internet yeah it saves every summer some on YouTube yeah on no on on the actual like there's a podcast yeah yeah yeah on like on audience on all yeah it should be it was never taken down and then it's still for free on film rise on YouTube you watch all the 20 jump streets but you're gonna do a bring back of that sky and fast say what they've really taken, they've gone with that theory though, like making things unbelievable to make them like a cooler story.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I forgot the pilot was two parts. S for you, you know. Do S for you. S for you, the things on that where it's like, how close to let you, they would do with this. Like stop, it goes, all right, Johnny Depp, you're going undercover to find the people who killed your girlfriend. Or they keep telling them to stay away from it, but they just leave them off. do with this. Stop, it goes, all right, Johnny Depp, you're going undercover to find the people who
Starting point is 00:21:05 killed your girlfriend, or they keep telling them to stay away from it, but they just leave them off, and you will. But you will. But you will. It's not for you. But my favorite, S for you is not only is they use this little boy to be a bisexual character, a Benson son. But it's not Benson's son. I've told you before, right? Benson's son is a victim that she was helping, and then the victim got killed in the drug world, and she had a baby, and so the judge just said, like, yeah, sure, detect the Benson,
Starting point is 00:21:36 you can keep the baby, and that's her son now. That scene is so great. I'm gonna rock that show, see you. Yeah, what legality. I knew that it was bad. Oh, I'm by. Yeah. It's one of the funniest things. There he goes, mom was not oh I'm by yeah, one of the funniest things there you guys mom What if I'm by she's like I think that's a party no Yeah, she's like I told the they were making fun of this kid calling him gay
Starting point is 00:21:53 So I told them that I'm by and then everyone's like what and she was like Thank you so much for sharing that with me. He's nine. Yeah, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I want to fuck dinosaurs when I was nine. Clearly, I would probably take anything. Yeah, I was like, dude, a traceratops hanging out out front. I'm probably going to stick my little wiener in its big old butthole. Bye. It never gets better than Walker.
Starting point is 00:22:16 I have AIDS. Walker. I have AIDS. Well, that show brings us to now, which I hate. Is that why you don't want to drink my milk? Remember that I was mad at you to share his milk? I'm like I mean, I didn't share your milk, it's fucking weird to share milk with a man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:34 AIDS or not. I gotta get some milk, a small box of milk. No, you can just have half of mine. I tung it. And I have AIDS in the 80s. I have AIDS. I have AIDS. I'm very confusing and unknown disease. You wanna know what's wild, Jacob? You wanna know what's wild? I have eights in the 80s. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights.
Starting point is 00:22:45 I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights.
Starting point is 00:22:53 I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights.
Starting point is 00:23:01 I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have eights. I have to it. I feel like we were on the we were going to start breaking into more PSAs Because when you when a PSA would show up at the end of a tournament drum street, you're like Save time to make up to show. Sometimes we would freak out when you would be watching it because You just watch it and then when you find out what the plot would be you get excited to know what they're gonna drive home And like when you'd be like, oh, it's gay bashing Yeah, you know, they're not gonna handle it well
Starting point is 00:23:21 Oh, it's gay bashing. Bring. Oh, yeah. You know, they're not going to handle it well because they're not. They're so dated. It's in the 80s. And then sure, it will cost them a good one with it. It's all that cocaine energy. Like we're talking about top gun.
Starting point is 00:23:30 That's show. The show writer was maybe a genius because what they did when are you said mentioned before jiggle, I think you'll find this funny about them incorporating into the script of the show, what's going on in real life. So on the nose one time that the episode was Doug Penthal and Tommy Hanson were on detail to protect a Hollywood guy who dressed exactly like Johnny Depp. Was a diva.
Starting point is 00:23:58 Exactly. In fact, the same guitar. Same outfit. Yeah. That Johnny Depp was wearing in the first episode when they made him cool, when they made him dress cool. He's wearing the same outfit that Johnny Depp was wearing in the first episode when they made it cool when they made him dress cool He's wearing the same out and there and he's a guy and he's like an asshole and it's like it's the whole thing It's his personality's a real fucking jerk off and they all hate him
Starting point is 00:24:13 So do you wonder if this Johnny Depp read that and he goes hey Colin are you being serious about Jack like I don't know what you're doing is this Are you trying to say this is Peter? I don't know what you're doing. Is this, are you trying to say this is Peter? Because we can't do it. Yeah, it's somebody else. It's an actor who's playing a cop also. Yes, he's playing a cop in schools,
Starting point is 00:24:30 like it's like doing their thing. And he's like a badass like what, and but it's like everyone fucking hate it. But exactly, he's also got like a, they have it like he's, there's like an ensemble cast to some degree. And when they go outside of filming in the school, like all the pop
Starting point is 00:24:45 rossi goes right around him and ignores all the other stars. It's like it's just they just do it to be like, yeah, fuck Johnny death. So which brings us to today. Ari does not know, but the Johnny Depp Amber herd trial has concluded the jury is in with a verdict. Can I guess say my guess? Yeah before let's say this let before you say a guess There's let's take a look at those go say there's four verdicts, right? I just want to know is there any chance that either one of them gets the chair no Firing squad yes, okay There's four verdicts four verdicts. So for two people, say, on the three, so at the three of them are verdicts,
Starting point is 00:25:28 verdicts one, of her defaming him. I'm heard defaming him, and then the same vice versa. No, no, no, just go, I'll give him to you one at a time. You tell me what you think. Can I just say also the last time I was waiting for a verdict? What's impressive, I didn't know. I was in sociology class in college where the teacher allowed one student
Starting point is 00:25:47 to listen to the headphones for the OJ verdict. One student? What? She was like, everyone has to alarm because we don't know when this is coming in. And then she's like, we got it, we got it. Stop the class.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Any put on TV? Not TV, just like say it, say it out loud. She was, this just in. OJ's free Who's up for footballs across the room jumping over table juice Fuckin Jewish riot Because look you talk about those riots out in LA, but you didn't see what happened you sheave it down and fucking Baltimore Goldmins will have that day in court.
Starting point is 00:26:31 This one's big, you know, well, so this is the rematch. Amber heard Goddaman the UK at the brawl at the O2. But she got him in court in the UK. Yeah, she won the, she won the suit in England where I think was he, can you bring it up? I don't know. She didn't win the suit, he lost the suit against the suit in England where I think was he can you bring it up I don't know he was so she didn't win the suit he lost the suit against the sun the sun yeah the sun that's the she did the article with the sun and he tried to suit them for defamation for defamation by printing what she
Starting point is 00:26:56 said and he lost he lost so she got she got the first one just like Rocky so he brought her here but Rocky and then Johnny Depp just like Rocky too He went and trained and there's three there's four verdicts three of them were the charges Three on her are defamation on him three different charges of it. She's suing him for defamation No, three of them him Suing her he sent for defamation and then she's suing and then one of her suing him back for defamation Yeah, okay, So that's for What do you think what do I think? Yeah, because Christine you said that you said
Starting point is 00:27:32 history is it's completely I mean we have the public it's in itself. We see your show into us. We don't see the whole court, but it's a pure Landslide. I'll say in essence though. whatever it so I'm gonna guess he wins up he wins all three The from what I've seen he went all anyone so smart getting a hotter. Oh, that's right a hotter female Lawyer to offset her hotness and You're gonna cry well. I'm as hot as you and I will not always his lawyer. Yeah, she wasn't as hot as she's can percuted. She was adorable.
Starting point is 00:28:09 They she came out and and did her little speed her hand was shaking reading the paper. Like she's not used like she could do it in court, but like that public speaking made her nervous. Yeah, you know that. She was thrilled. She was sitting. He was sitting in a giant wooden chair
Starting point is 00:28:22 with a goblet of wine. And anyway, I know how we're going to beat her called it. The only thing that can defeat a hot woman is another hot woman. Well, it wasn't the hot one because didn't Kate Moss eventually testify. I didn't see any of her testimony, but like, I think she did sing that Amber hers lying. He never pushed me down the stairs. Yeah, she came in and said, he, she helps, she pushed Kate Moss on the stairs. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:47 That's it. That didn't happen. Yeah, I slipped and, and they were in some island. It was the terrain. Yeah, that's what a, that's what a trained bitch would say. And she said that in the sun, like, and he pushed Kate Moss. And then he's through the sun.
Starting point is 00:29:00 I was like, well, you can't just, that's it. And happened. You can't just write something. Yeah, I hope that they should make a court. Like, the, be fun. There was court video though, well, you can't just, that's it. It happened. You can't just write something. They should make a court. Like, the, be fun. There was court video, though, when they go, Miss Moss, did he, in fact, push you down the stairs? And she looks over there and he goes,
Starting point is 00:29:11 fuck, dude, she goes, no, I fell. There was a storm and I'm so stupid and clumsy. I'm skinny. It was slippy. The wind gets me. I'm an idiot. I just, it hurt when I fall. And it's so little.
Starting point is 00:29:24 Yeah. I rolled down. Kate Moss. Yeah, she came and said like, free Johnny. She's a free Johnny best dick I ever had. They went to hang out together. To say she's into the mic.
Starting point is 00:29:35 She's like Johnny that best dick I ever had. When the jury started deliberating, he took her to London. Well, he took it off. Well, he's playing with Jeff. Thanks for doing this for me. He's playing with Jeff Beck right now. Yeah. He like went on stage with Jeff Beck.
Starting point is 00:29:48 He didn't show up for the verdict today because he was busy jamming with Jeff Beck. Yeah, one of the fucking lives. He goes, I don't know. I could go while this the guitar gently weeps. I said, Jeff Beck. I could be watching my demonic ex-wife get humbled in court. Or I could be shredding with the guitar. He didn't show up for the verdict because he doesn't case like I already played it down. I don't have to be there. I don't think he knows he's not gonna, he wasn't gonna jail either. He wasn't gonna lose his case.
Starting point is 00:30:13 I'll be having a spot of purple with Jeff Beck, like the money comes ruling. A spot of purple. There was a chance that they both defamed each other, right? Sure. And then, here's the chance. There's a chance that these just two hot wild idiots. She has to pay him 15 million 15 million dollars and there's also They're almost at a goal. What I don't know what they say their goal is
Starting point is 00:30:34 But they're looking for 4.5 million signatures to have her removed from Aquaman 2 big mistake and they're close to it If I'm the producers of Aquaman cut in every interfilm with her, cut it in. Whatever you thought you're gonna leave out, put it all in now. Yeah, because I want to see that crazy on. You don't be really funny though. If she goes true, if her and Aquaman get into a fight and then she leaves little fish shits on it, right?
Starting point is 00:31:02 Right. You fish turtied in my, in my water bed. She goes you know what I maybe I'll sleep on the couch Amber we got we got some extra scenes to film the floaties Do you mind filming the shit scenes Johnny Depp ever heard trial amber herds lawyer was too confident source So now now does he get does he sue Disney for his fucking film rolls back? Well, I was like, none of this happened. You fired me for none of this happened. Can I get, can you, what, you fired me for no reason?
Starting point is 00:31:33 In the end, he should. I don't really think Johnny Depp, they just didn't. Damn dude, he fucking was just at a pub. He's gonna have land while the, while the, while the verdict came in, he was just out having fucking boot. He'll have a pure resurgence because he was on his way. I mean Johnny Depp just did like a straight to video movie about one of the cops who's trying to solve the biggie and two pop murders. No really. That's where he was at right there. So I think this will give him a resurgence
Starting point is 00:31:56 because I'll tell you what you get him a trainer again for some just because some of the fat out of that face because he's still gorgeous. Adam's is writing in. He is still gorgeous. And the way he was so cool to him, he was like, was this a box for cocaine? He was like, I mean, yeah, people might do cocaine out of it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:14 I love, yeah. I mean, that grumpy, I mean, how are you ever gonna get past? He called a shit a grumpy. Did you say I would never keep cocaine in that? It would fall all over the place. It's a crazy place to keep cocaine. It would fall over the floor.
Starting point is 00:32:26 You know, while that is a good point, damn it. Because did you say you did cocaine with those feelings? Yes. They kept thinking, ask him if he did cocaine was going to like bring the house down. And he was like, I'm, I guess I could save you an next question. I'm very interested in doing cocaine.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Why do you have something there? I've been doing cocaine for 40 years I don't feel he's thinking about that's everyone around me it's basically baby aspirin at this point he's really like I mean yeah it's great talking about like daily maintenance cocaine or you talk about like a band right I have my morning cocaine I have my post-workout cocaine I mean imagine they put you on the stand it's like Mr. Oakerson is a true or not? Do you have smoked marijuana cigarette?
Starting point is 00:33:07 Yeah, you're like, I have. Yeah, what's the question you're getting today? Is there a chance when you made these claims that you were under the influence of marijuana? More than likely. What's it like, I mean, hours in a day, yep, yep, problem. I was awake.
Starting point is 00:33:22 Was it early morning? Was it like stupid early morning? Like are we talking? Maybe not. Listen before 2 p.m. Strong chance. I was not this still the savage commercial still suck But here's the thing they suck But if you were young you'd go you go right back to 21 jumps you can go he looks so fucking cool And if you're a 20 something year old girl, you're still going like Johnny Depp still has it And if you're yep a 40 something year old girl
Starting point is 00:33:50 You're like Johnny Depp never lost it. You're like you're still going It vindicates all the people who go I don't believe her and like you have to believe a woman and like the court doesn't and so now what about The crazy bitches and so no one's gonna say they're gonna be like well She does seem like that, but you never know they still won't be able to say. Ah nah. She's fucking nuts She lost in court. No, you still can't yeah for sure. They'll still take her side I'm shredding the desert shredding the desert. I didn't do the stuff in the wolves know it the wolves know that I was always innocent Wolves don't hang with the guilty This is survived. It's for wolves who The wolves know that I was always innocent. Wolves don't hang with the guilty.
Starting point is 00:34:27 This is survives. It's for wolves who... ...dead some black guilty men. We're hanging in there. Now, Native Americans carry these wall of marshals off your sacred land. So be walking my wolves. So be the high chief that's buried somewhere under this flat. I trained my wolves off leash. Sorry, the high chief is buried somewhere under this flat. I trained my wolves off leash.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Thank you, Justin Silver. Can you please not, I didn't tie a knot in leash. Also, thank you, please don't curse me, I'll pull to a waist. I did it same with wolves once. With wolves? Yeah, they made him chase after me. Oh fuck, for the entry.
Starting point is 00:35:02 I'm just not entering. Yeah, and I was running, and I mean, I pulled a hammy. I was like, for a real frighten. Yeah. All right, all right. We're going to release the Hollywood wolves. Yeah. They're snarl- goes oh shit. I'm sorry We only have two takes of white fang
Starting point is 00:35:30 He's got another shoot up down. Yeah Can you go is there a video of him playing on stage with Beck? Yeah, yeah the other night Because again, he didn't look at his face looks very bloated in court But I bet he drops that hair down throws on a fucking he looks awesome But I bet he drops that hair down throws on a fucking he looks awesome You guys don't really statement. Yes, I do I'll see you so much below and do drink so much and look awesome Christine don't move the statement cuz I'm gonna read it It's a lot of stuff to get I guess they answer this before you start reading do paragraph by paragraph I'll write down a lot of regiments for sure because I promise you this guy wakes up rough. Yeah, right? It's a thing and what we're doing is again
Starting point is 00:36:04 That's why you're seeing like that you You're seeing his after fucking trial every day, he's going home, he's fucking rock and wine. He's probably getting ass. He's doing all kinds of shit and then showing up for court in the morning. You're catching a fucking guy who's probably is arguably an alcoholic on his morning face every day because that that fucking salvage commercials a year ago he looked great there It's like unbelievable right so it still looks like hand again. Do you think it's a hair make it before court every day a little bit Touch up price. I'm gonna come by yeah give a little The car in the way over court judge. Yeah, probably something put a little spritz on or something Yeah, a little bit as best you could with morning fucking alcoholic bloat.
Starting point is 00:36:45 Sorry, I was up late night still. I was up late last night painting a Paul Newman picture that I had printed out and had put Freenon to it. You've seen his art, right? Yeah, painting over a better art. I've seen the NFT. He's just a tagger. Sorry, so I'm going to be having about four or five bottles
Starting point is 00:37:02 of campaign. So sometimes it's just like a picture of 12 pack of campaign. Sometimes it's just like a picture of 12 pack of campaign. Sometimes it's just like a picture of Hunter S. Thompson and then like the art is an NFT of him writing with like his finger on a iPhone picture looks like going like, M-I-Rite. Like over, that's his art.
Starting point is 00:37:20 That's great. Hot people can't be stopped. You can only hope that the pain, that's true. He'll say on NFT of him writing a word like Icon Over like and that's what you'd own is the NFT that you buy a beach. Yeah, the beach. Oh, this is cool So you own an image of that and the word icon being written Sloppy I'm telling you like it was done like a finger writing on like paint or something. It's not.
Starting point is 00:37:45 It's not. We're on goddamn profession. I know. Well, we should be famous. I know. That's just what it is. It's business being famous. Yeah, I love the famous.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Here's his NFTs. Dude, never fear truth. Look, it hold not cigarette. I love him. And it kind of looks like Ralph Steadman drew it, but you can tell the letter. NFTs is never fear truth. It's not.
Starting point is 00:38:03 This was your older brother and you brought a chick home to visit. And this guy lives in in your parents' house still. And he's doing this when you walk in with your chick, you're worried you're a guy. He's, you go, that's my brother. He's a fucking loser though. He just, you know, like, I get everything about him. It's pretty rad.
Starting point is 00:38:17 But like, he's a fucking loser. Hey, John, I like this one. So can you not make it weird? Who's the guy that's dating? Well, you decide you want to go live that corporate lifestyle. Oh, fuck. So you're making make it weird? Who's the guy that dated? Well, you decide you want to go live that corporate lifestyle. Oh, fuck. So you're making my girl so wet.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Stop saying that. You're sorry, you're a cog in the machine. This guy with less success is the Mom dated American dad's daughter. Yeah. Yeah, tell her. Jeff, Jeff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Totally. Jeff, he's hot Jeff. That's what Jeff. You know, it's really cool about wearing a scarf indoors. Is it does absolutely zero's really cool about wearing a scarf indoors? Is it does absolutely zero? Yeah, it's wearing a scarf indoors. It's gonna get a lot of the art.
Starting point is 00:38:49 It's the least functional thing for this. He's hoping the God it swoops into that art somehow. So then when he wears that scarf out with like a suit one night, they're gonna go, what's that on your scarf? It goes from one of my paintings. My NFTs, I'm into, yeah, I'm into block chain. I do want to own a dep.
Starting point is 00:39:07 I would like to own one. Get you a dep. We should get a dep for the studio. Yeah, it would really brighten up the studio. I have a dep in here. I've never been so layered indoors in my life. I've never layered. I'm always, yeah, I wonder if he hides stuff in between the layers
Starting point is 00:39:19 like little treats, like you take the hat off and you're like, oh, hey, look at that. Fucking jello. Oh, all right. Let's go to that statement. Treats like you take the hat off and you're like oh, hey look at that Fucking generals All right, let's I go to that statement. Yeah, where he says six years ago my life the life of my children the lives of those Closes to me and also the lives of the people Many years Support and believe in me forever change dude. That is the longest way to say that. Yeah. For me and my neighbors, his brothers go right in the mirror. Fucking tight. No, this is
Starting point is 00:39:51 him. This is 100% him. You don't think so? You don't think it. Yeah, people. Chaffiniform. All in the blink of an eye. False, very serious, incremental allegations were levied at. I dreamed of an ego last night So I knew victory was upon as I laid in my bed I could feel the earth moving beneath me and I knew justice was around the corner as I slumbered my coffin shaped bed My visions became a clarity. I've never had My head while in the earthly realm laid on velvet in the godly realm laid in truth I astral projected on this last night and I found a couple things one I hung out at a hog and does Pretty cool
Starting point is 00:40:36 You get into that and it's like basically a swimming pool of Fresh milk in every batch. This is crazy. The hues of ones emotions are but dreams of a neverland. I just swung over to a changing room at a gymnastics place. Because why not? Because you know, ghost gatti. You know, astral projection. Tune out. Tune out your horny when you Astral projection.
Starting point is 00:41:01 I yoke it on this this morning. False, very serious and criminal allegations are levied at me via the media which triggered an endless barrage of hateful content. Check out my MFT. Although my charges, although charges were never brought against me, it has already traveled around the world twice. Have you ever wondered what Willie Nelson picture would look like if his bandana was pink? Crazy, right? How much
Starting point is 00:41:31 you could have that more over it? And if D's how much how much money do I have on you? I'm willing to barter. Would you like to barter? I'll take an installment plan. I'll take your wife scarf and $10,000. I'll free it from its chains of Freak and mountain top and six years later the jury gave me my life back. I am truly humbled Humboldt what's it? Yeah my decoy my decision my decision decision, my decision to pursue this case, knowing very well the height of the legal hurdles that I would be facing in the inevitable worldwide spectacle into my life was only made after considering that's true. Considerable. He knows even going.
Starting point is 00:42:19 It's like this is the smallest person in my life. No, it's crazy. You supposed to have a magnifying glass to read this? Is that how partages? Can't they do shift? Oh, they do do shift from the very beginning the goal of bringing these This case this case was to reveal the truth regardless of the outcome The truth is so Truth is is that God is all around us. Sometimes God's in a poop on your bed
Starting point is 00:42:47 Like three Kalana like three look at that majestic sword. I actually had some I Did some the wings of justice have have unfurled. I saw all this happened in the ayahuasca trip The night two weeks ago to Dalai Lama. You know he's leading them Yeah, boy. Is not even on them. Do you guys want to fuck with Noon or River via 92? I guess your bad news. Speaking of truth was something that I owed to my children and to all those who have remained steadfast in their support of me.
Starting point is 00:43:17 I feel at peace knowing I have finally accomplished that. Wait, this is a two-parter? Yeah, it looks like it. Is it? And the next is going to be an NFT. You can own this. Oh, dude Why don't I make it a three-parter and get a little bigger on the font? Yeah, really. I am and have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and the colossal support and kindness from around the world. Now before I move on, I do want to say here. I don't't know for sure but I want to click on some and see
Starting point is 00:43:45 He's got to right away a whole bunch of messages of love and support from from people with checkboxes. I think they're all Instagram hose Yeah, Ryan Adams who's in neck and neck with him for who loves Instagram hose from telling you I mean chicks He's like hey, I'll fuck you. I don't have the pussy like she has but I got something so funny Oh my butt Johnny Depp I low you Tina Lackner of course yep hot for sure Bianca Sale up with one million followers dude It's hilarious yeah oh goal to it's very top ones
Starting point is 00:44:21 Those first one is Chloe Saxon I bet a million 1.1 million followers. Yeah with that but she deserves 12 million follow that damn Who the fuck is this the fuck is lazy? Johnny Depp just has all these sexy ladies. She goes thank God you're finally at that courthouse Can I please sucks justice out of your dick? God, I need your coming, my man. I mean, that lady. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:44:47 She just breaks down like nerdy shit. She's like season two of 21 JavaScript was clearly filmed as a parody. Dude, what do you do when you're built solely to fuck? There is no other thing. She is, other side of floating, if she's like a human buoy. She has. Besides that, she is not built for anything in the world.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Instagram holes following her. Of course, she's like a human buoy. But besides that, she is not built for anything in the world. She Instagram holes following her. Of course, she's like a comics comic. She's like a whore's whore or they're like, you guys think you're good. This girl oils up and two pieces it. Also the bottom tit falling out like the boobs are too big for the bikini. Too big. That's like, that's just irresponsible shopping. I believe my two Jewish friends Arya and Jay would tell me that. That, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,. I believe my two Jewish friends, Ari and Jay, would come to that.
Starting point is 00:45:26 If her father's around, his head is always in his hands. Oh, my God. Are you ripping apart like an Amistad with a chick trying to hold onto her son's hands? Yeah. I'm gonna do it. But that's like, what are you doing today? It's like, oh me and my friend taking a picture of our butts with bikes. There's a pig in the top.
Starting point is 00:45:40 She doesn't have one picture of her and just regular clothes. She's like, yeah. Yeah, she just has to put on bikinis. She's like, you know, her and just regular clothes. She's like, yeah, she's just has to put on bikinis. She's like, you know, you ever just want to wear a fucking a style of a state cyclone shirt jeans hurt my weird shape. Yeah, she was honestly if I put a t-shirt on my tits get pushed to the side. Yeah, one tits. I don't know. Nothing fits right at all. I have to wear that she's in the airport. She's like, sir, I have to wear this. My but miss your pussy lips hanging out. She's in the airport. She's like, sir, I have to wear this. My bug. Miss your pussy lips hanging out.
Starting point is 00:46:06 She goes, if not, it's something weird else is happening. It's funny when you see like, who does she follow? For some reason. As I'm ex-wise, and it's like never like, she follows Shultz. Is there a way to find out? Yeah. Go to following. A parasolton.
Starting point is 00:46:19 Shout out parasolton. We're following. Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp is so funny. She's like, Johnny! Now we're following Johnny Depp. Is there any way? What if you follow back? He's like, I heard the podcast guys and fuck you.
Starting point is 00:46:32 There's an F.T.s are really hard. I really want to see. Listen, I don't know if this girl's going to follow comics. Is there any way you can find out? No, probably not. She doesn't know anything about comedy, but you're right. It might be like the Seenster ones. Shoes or just definitely like it's a
Starting point is 00:46:45 Chrissy date and she's like, I love that you talk about your daughter Elvis Presley falls Elvis I don't know what that is like a rose. She's not gonna be a good audience member. Oh Zero chance. She'll be on her phone the whole show 40 followers or though, she you she follows it for a nice Dan yeah, you guys got something to talk about now. I'm like, so what do you think of you 40s versus who? Do you like Sluricane? She's like I don't know my tits have never been away this long do you mind? No, it's fine. That's it babe totally whatever you guys you know, I'm just
Starting point is 00:47:22 Her just walking down a regular guy. Yeah, we're just both here. It's I don't know that thing. Joe list She's like I love his neurotic yet accurate portrayal life. Oh by the way she calls herself a singer first and foremost, please please God Please get all this is our only fans for your only fans. Oh wait. She has some music on them. Yes It's our only fans for your only fans. Oh wait. She has a music on it. Yes. Oh, there's a website to website This is gonna be better than that fuck I bet it's good. I bet it's produced well left I can't tell yeah my nerd that likes her. Oh, if you like heard it in a club You just think it's a real song doesn't make it good I
Starting point is 00:48:11 Thanks, I bet the most I bet the most yeah, I bet the most it'd be a girl that like a Mac Oh my god, I've never seen that so special fucking shit But he was hey lady I just need my eggs here at the time here You go hey, can I get my coffee? I understand you're like Sizing up the other waitress Lindsey Jennings did a song like this I gotta say for speaking for this girl here well I don't know for sure but I have to guess the the dicks that are most wet with Instagram uh-ho pussy yeah is music producer guy like local producers because they can make if you tell these girls like what's your real aspirations they all all them are gonna be like,
Starting point is 00:48:45 well, I wanna like sing and dance and whatever they go. They're singers, something I have no training in. They go, I can make you a song, you can put out the people go exactly. If you told me this was a new popular song by Doja Cat, I don't know any song, sure, okay. Do you know what I mean? I don't know the difference.
Starting point is 00:49:01 So like, it's as good as any of that, but this is just a talentless knit wit who just got her body carved up to do one thing on the carved up. And it's natural, shut up, that's natural. I'm sorry, Gary. Yeah, dude. I don't mean to say that to you guys.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Just gifted. God made that. Like God. No. She's just eating simple carbs to hold it. You're just eating simple carbs to hold it. You're just eating simple carbs to hold it. You're just eating simple carbs to hold it.
Starting point is 00:49:23 You're just eating simple carbs to hold it. You're just eating simple carbs to hold it. Well, listen, you don't get fucking assing tit like if they are natural you don't get that not eating macarons by the gris by the grip Yeah, dude. She's got a high protein eating any of this dress like pegbundi in half the videos You don't think she's feel it. I bet she eats I bet she fucking Snacks down on food. You're just like what Whitney Cummings and mages or so Excuse me miss. I'm still waiting, again, I'm waiting on my eggs. I gotta go to work.
Starting point is 00:49:49 At this point, this diner's gonna be fucking worse. I'm gonna take this, the day of the day. By the way, the new thing, when I've talked to like super hot chicks now, like when you, like they, when you're doing your man on the street with super hot chicks. Yeah, no, I was just saying when you talk to, when you have to show, or on the road, or whatever.
Starting point is 00:50:05 I'm telling you, they always say they do the opposite of what you'd think, whether they're lying or I don't know why they would, but they're just like, I'm all about like 3 a.m. let's get pizza and wings and fall asleep in the box. They did that once. Yeah, that's who I am. I remember getting my dick sucked by a lady who had told me she never
Starting point is 00:50:26 Fucked in the first day Blooby in the call was driving on a first date. She is right So she's done. She fucked out. Did not fuck. Oh, she fucked my mouth. We gotta take a break Should we come back and listen to her other song? And we'll get back to this verdict. I would like full album full album. Wow. Yeah, she fucking she came back and fucked this guy a couple times He's like to do the whole album. It's oh, we also have which we should get into Some areane has a lot did it first-life performance. Yeah And this looks like the Jeff Beck and Johnny Depp. Oh, please. I want to see you look at that. Yes, verdicts in, I shred. You. You.
Starting point is 00:51:05 You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You.
Starting point is 00:51:13 You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You.
Starting point is 00:51:21 You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. He's at Tim it with the hat. I'll tell you what though. He does a little fromp. He looks fat He looks like the do it from AC DC now Brian Johnson. No, the guy with the with the wears the hat Maybe it's Brian Johnson. Yeah, I don't know what is exactly you're talking about this. No, you fucking it He's the lead singer of AC DC with that hat I have no idea right? He was I don't know what his name is. Maybe you're saying the right thing
Starting point is 00:51:45 He looks like Neil Young, dude. He doesn't look good. He's gotta get it together a little bit. Are you ready, buddy? You got 15. Yeah, exactly. He did some stress eating, but it's time to get back in the game, dude.
Starting point is 00:51:54 Johnny Depp, dude, his hair looks like shit for the first time in his life ever. That bad. Do you think he called anywhere, I need 20 pounds of conditioner. I need a personal trainer in some time in my island. It's time to rock this, though. I need a hot iron, prun TC.
Starting point is 00:52:10 No, I gotta hear that. Do you do do do do do based wine? It's good for working out. Well, also have your teeth purple. Well, did you know? Ah, let's say a break. We'll be right back. Arish Fierce hanging out. Go see his special taping, June 11th and June 12th in Brooklyn, Arish Fierre.com for tickets.
Starting point is 00:52:38 Go see Big J on the road, coming up with Burt Kreischer on the Burt Kreischer's fully loaded festival, Toslo, Oklahoma, Albany, New York for tickets another tour dates Could a big J comedy dot com? And then Dan Sot is gonna be a grand rap to guys June 34th. That's this weekend. Grand Rap. So I mean J went there It's a Friday and Saturday great to and then London so hotheter. That's not London Ontario. No, that's the OG London. Oh, yeah So hotheter June 13th through June 19th through June 10th For tickets and all their tour dates. They don't celebrate it there. I'm so white. I'm so white. I can get the country for June 10th
Starting point is 00:53:10 Yeah, they made him leave Dan's been exported for June 10th They go the Brits are like we'll tie you for that week you fucking I Get tickets now London a dance soda dot com guys London. You've never seen like dancoder instead of your dumb fuck ass comedy real america it's not like fucking faulty towers or whatever other crocus shit you shut down my fucking late night television throat when I was a child hey abfabs pretty good some people say and then I slap them you guys pull that pull your dick shams back over your dickhead and go to the Soho theater June 13th through June 19th So Doctor who the fuck is this? Sherlock Holmes sucks to danceoder.com everybody for tickets and all other tour dates
Starting point is 00:53:58 Bonfire merch blah blah blah. We'll be right back everybody. It's the bonfire I'm glad we'll be right back everybody, it's the Bonfire.

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