The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Justice
Episode Date: February 2, 2024The guys are delivering justice in everyday life when Bobby's son Max calls in to complain. ...
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I'm Bobby Kelly and it's Big J.
O'Kersen.
We're actually a full radio show on
Sirius XM, not just a podcast.
For full episodes of the Bonfire, you can listen on the Sirius XM app.
Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big J.
O'Kersen and Robert Kelly.
Collected soul.
What made you want to hear this today, Lou?
I'm from the 90s.
That's it?
It's not the only reason.
Just your being from the 90s?
I'm not going to learn new things.
I'm just going backwards.
I watched the finale of Ted last night.
And Ted's...
Ted Lasso?
No, Ted, Ted.
You don't like Ted Lasso?
The bear.
No.
Really?
You don't like emotional shows? No. That make you think about humanity and the way we treat each other?
No.
You don't like soccer or as they call football?
No, I like aggressive violence on television,
lives falling apart, people going down.
Really?
Yeah, and then Eagles and Sixers.
That's my stuff.
Yeah, cops, love after lock up.
Like I said, 2020, lot of YouTube true crime.
I'm actually, you know me, I like a goofy show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like a nice laugh, a chuckle, and then a moment.
Where are you at on Supernatural?
I don't think you're staying with it.
You'd be talking about it.
Well, it lost me because they had an episode where there was on Supernatural? I don't think you're staying with it. You'd be talking about it. Well, it lost me because they had an episode
where there was no Supernatural.
It was just a dude that did some bad shit.
Season one.
Yeah, I forget.
What?
Well, I mean, that's not the ultimate thing.
It ends up being the battle between God and the devil,
eventually.
Yeah, I haven't given up on it at all.
I like the show, but there was an episode where,
because they get you into this structure
that kind of like where something happens,
that opens up and someone gets murdered and eaten
and scratched and ooh and whatever.
And then they come in and they find a blah blah blah
and then they solve it and then they kill
whatever creature and then they move on to the next.
I was gonna guess which one turned you off
cause if there was one, you didn't do it Lou really,
did you?
No.
Jacob would remember the werewolf episode.
We did a whole bonfire on it I think.
Was that the one where it wasn't a werewolf?
No, she was a werewolf.
She was a werewolf but like, he loved a werewolf
and then he had like killer and lever behind or something,
and it was one of those sunny Crockett moments,
like we said, like, staring off at a sunset,
thinking about his werewolf girlfriend he had to kill.
Well, it wasn't that.
It was one where it wasn't, it wasn't,
it was just a bad person or some shit.
You haven't even met the Angels yet, right?
Angels.
That's like season eight.
No, I'm only on season one, but it took me out of it
because I was like, where are you?
What are you? You fucked up.
One episode pissed you off.
One episode.
There hasn't been one off episode of Hondo and Swat.
No, dude. It's impossible.
It's about justice.
Bobby, no one loves justice more than me.
No, it's about justice.
You know how I feel about justice. Well, I'm getting excited because, listen, I justice more than me. No, it's about justice.
You know how I feel about justice.
Well, I'm getting excited because, listen,
I was coming in today, oh, I don't know if it's happening.
What?
I was coming in today not to sidetrack,
and I would like to get back to this conversation
of your shows versus my shows,
because it says a lot of where we are as people.
Sure.
Yes.
Yes.
I still need to see other people's lives falling apart to make me feel better about myself. We are as people. Sure. Yes. Yes.
I still need to see other people's lives falling apart to make me feel better about myself.
And I need to see people's lives falling apart but then coming together.
Yes.
And holding each other.
Yeah.
And maybe some tears.
But one thing's for sure that we both share.
Is this song is awesome.
We share one thing though for sure.
Yeah.
An unwavering need for justice. Unwavering need for justice.
I'm not an unwavering need for justice.
I will tell you in the story, sometimes you'll hear Lewis
J. Gomez tell, I have a few.
I'm sure you have a few too.
And if you thought about them, there's a few Lewis stories
that make me go, this is why, this is why we're like friends.
For sure.
This is our connection.
And that between me, you and Lewis, a need for justice.
A need for justice, but a need for someone
to carry out that justice.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Physically.
Because sometimes me and you can't physically
carry out that justice.
I'll try to carry out the justice.
It might backfire on my face.
Yeah, we can try. My justice is also weird.
Cab driver almost runs me into a parked car.
Get out, pound on his window, spit inside his window if I can.
Spit on the window if you won't roll it down.
Justice has been served.
Justice is about to be served.
I'll get cut off by an old lady in the shop-right parking lot and it was she didn't go she's weren't right through the stop sign
I'll pull up next to her and then pantomime a lot of angry faces without rolling the window down
So that she knows she messed up and then she'll go whatever and then take off
But you know what justice was served justice was served
I would have had that look I would have got out and spin kicked her back door before I realized it was an old lady.
That city life, suburb life, you pantomime through a closed window. Okay. It's all pantomime. It's hands, it's fingers,
it's fucking eyebrows, eyes, and mouth. Okay. You have to relay everything. And it's gotta be very, very big.
You have to talk very big. It's theater. For this bat-shit lady to get what you're saying that's correct
That's correct. Yeah, okay, so you're delivering suburban justice suburban. I'm forced to deal with
City justice and then also don't forget
We we travel and bring justice weekly like like Kane in kung-fu
We come up over a hazy ridge and then me and Bobby come to comedy shows
all while delivering justice.
All three pedophile hunts.
Sometimes you got to kick somebody out.
Sometimes you bring a couple back together.
I was getting up on the the the plane in first class and the lady behind me and coach
was trying to pass me to get off the plane first.
And I.
Doled out some justice when I pulled my suitcase out really abruptly
and hit her on the shoulder.
Okay, and now I like what you're saying.
Passive aggressively went, oh sorry, didn't see you there.
I guess that's my fault that you were trying to cram past me.
Justice was served.
Justice needed to be served that day.
Yes, justice was served. Yeah, to be served that day. Yes, justice
was served. Yeah, as long as it was justice, I could sleep. Yes. But I can't sleep knowing
that I've left justice on the table. I can't sleep either. I'm up all I'm staring at the
ceiling, the stucco ceiling in a hotel room. Oh, I should have given some justice out.
Sometimes Christine stops me from delivering justice and I hate that that's her job though Yeah, that's her job to know. It's against justice. No to know when justice is justice and when it's
Not when you should never get out of the car. Yeah, which when you shouldn't get out of the car
I can't deliver justice from inside the car every time. Yeah, sometimes I can but you can't deliver justice with
Getting kicked in the gut on the side of the street either by some carful of young kids
Very true, but Christine
I could stay and deliver in car justice if you would let me have that basket of baseballs to keep in the backseat
Yeah, but Christine doesn't want to dole out her justice
Well, if you get the shit kicked out of you then she has to blow a car full of teenagers
No, her justice
No
All you Christine to do is hold the wheel
while I go out of the moonroof.
Right.
And throw a baseball at someone's back window.
You should use batteries.
Keep C batteries in your glove box.
Or A double A batteries in your glove box.
Double A will shatter a window.
Well, double A, it's different.
You know, there's triple A for, you know,
maybe the occasional fuck you, no fuck you. Yeah. And then there's the double A, somebody cuts you off almost makes you go. there's triple A for, you know, maybe the occasional fuck you know, fuck you Yeah, and then there's the double a somebody cut you off almost make sure you leave a mark and then when somebody really
You throw a D you get a day or a C and then there you go. Then they then they feel that's justice
That is justice. I don't know if I'd be as accurate with the batteries. I would have baseball
Oh, you'd be surprised those things hum through the air. Yeah. Oh, yeah slices through the wind
Slices through the wind slice through the wind of a highway Bobby. Oh, yes
Okay, cuz that's what's important some of these things have to happen at 70 miles per hour
Baseball actually not it was actually you're right. It was start to spin and maybe got a control
You're right, especially with that fucking heater. I bring yeah, you got a nice hot here
Yeah, when it comes fucking zipping in there fucking 92
Yeah, a nice C batteries a projectile. Yeah, I put a change up right in that old bitch's back window over Buick
Yeah, justice must be served justice Jacob you often want to serve justice, but sometimes you take a backseat to justice and
Like you know like I see situations
where you're frustrated because you wish
you would have handled something differently.
I've been in a million of those myself.
That's why I have to give justice what I can.
Yes, I told my...
Sometimes you're outnumbered and you can't,
you say there was a crazy guy on the street
just screaming shit.
Are you the one, remember the,
we had the clips of you saying what he said.
Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah.
You couldn't deliver justice to that guy?
No. You were in no position to. But if you had Louis J Gomez. Louis J yeah. You couldn't deliver justice to that guy? No.
You were in no position to.
But if you had Louis J Gomez.
Louis J Gomez could have helped you deliver justice.
Justice.
Or, or think about if the situation like,
would it be great if like,
let's say later on you saw that guy
out your window of your apartment
and then you had a D battery to chuck at him.
That's justice.
Yeah, that's justice.
I see the movie Bad Boys when the, and then you had a D battery to chuck at him. That's justice. Yeah, that's justice.
I see the movie Bad Boys when the...
The Cocans.
In the sock.
And no, in the...
In the sleep...
The pillowcase. Pillowcase, yeah.
The best.
That's what I would want to do in life
to beat somebody over the head with Cocans and a Pocas.
You wanna make bomb radios in prison in Juvie Jail?
I don't see myself as that character
Oh, you saw yourself as Sean Penn Sean sorry. I saw you as the little heave heave boy
You jump to that conclusion Bobby. Well, I mean I'm just saying I saw you creating a bomb out of his radio
Fucking pussy.
I love delivering justice.
I love justice too.
It's the best feeling.
It's the best feeling.
You don't get to do it a lot.
Sometimes you have to sit back and watch unjust things happen.
Like what, Jay?
Well, you said you're driving by something fast
that's where you're like, damn, dude, that's happening.
Or you said the same thing.
You get cut off that same way almost ridden
into the side of the road.
You pull up and you get to see this as a car full of,
let's say, darker gentlemen.
You know.
I mean, they could just be gentlemen at this point.
Depends on the gentleman, nah.
Couple of twerpy, couple of twerpy teenage-
Is this the summertime?
White gentleman?
Is it the summertime in Miami Beach?
Cause they're at the beach all day
and they didn't use sunblock?
Well, no.
Okay.
No, it's, you gotta pick your battles.
It's my point a little bit.
You know what I mean?
Don't jump out and get your dick kicked in by six dudes.
Yeah, make sure there's no stop signs or red lights.
But a fucking honorary cab driver who's coming at me all fucking shitty between the ages of 38 and 52.
It's actually 38 and 102.
Maybe 38 and 102.
I will deliver swift justice to you.
You will catch a luge through your window.
You will catch a windowuge through your window.
You will catch a window beating, perhaps maybe a car kick.
I deliver subtle justice to with people, a lot of girls.
Sorry, Christine, but it's true. It's mostly women on their phone.
Guys are on their phones, too.
I know.
But mostly women on and they have animals like today.
There was a woman dog on her phone in the street,
like a step off into the street, a bus is coming.
It's going to kill the fucking dog.
And she's on her phone.
The bus starts honking and she starts going,
what the fuck?
Like the bus is at fault.
So then when we were walking across the street,
she was still on her phone.
I pretended, I looked that way and this way,
because I knew she saw me on the peripheral,
and I went, oh my God, and I stopped.
Like it was a car coming, and she went, eh!
Nice.
And I just kept moving with a fucking justice smile
on my face.
That's subtle justice, yeah.
You shook her, her heart was beaten
for five minutes after that.
I shook that chick.
Yeah, that's subtle justice.
That's subtle justice.
I had to take a back seat to justice today.
Just in this very building, I saw injustice
and I could do nothing about it.
What's that?
Lady holding two cell phones.
Me and Christine pushed the button downstairs to get in the elevators
Of course assigns us the one death trap as every day it does
before before the scariest elevator in America funnest elevator to say before before
Or I like be one the bone be one the bone. Yeah, I like be one before B4 is nice though. Where were we at before? So B4.
It's like a sentence.
Two phones.
Two phones.
Elevator opens.
No.
Girl walks in.
No.
Before the people get off.
Oh, god.
And I waited for the people to get off, and then I got on too.
And all me and Christine could do was to each other,
look at each other like, Jesus.
And I did it to Christine just like, I hate that.
But we delivered no justice.
No justice.
No justice.
In fact, what I was gonna say, a little out loud,
was Asian people do that all the time,
but there was an Asian guy in the elevator with us.
So that held back some of my other justice,
like my slight justice.
Slight?
By calling this white lady an Asian person.
That would have stuck with her.
Have you ever given out girl justice?
Sure, to Christine regularly.
Make her flinch.
Oh, yeah, no.
I'm constantly delivering justice in my home.
You can't give out full guy justice anymore.
No. But you can give out.
Now, the last time a man really enjoyed all around,
home and work justice, 1955.
1955.
Right after WW2.
Man justice died with Martin Luther King.
Lucky for you, I guess, Christine.
Back in the day when fridges would have all dents in them, you could put your wife's head
right around them. Oh, God forbid, Jay, we shouldn't talk about that. But justice is
what we're about here.
Listen, the tent poles of justice have moved.
They've moved.
You know what I mean? Or what do you call it? The goalposts. The goalposts of justice
have moved. So now you can't
Deliver full justice to a lady and then you end up getting someone with all these crazy ideas like Christine
That's due to a lack of justice
That's the world we live in what's the crazy idea that she comes up with give me I would just love an example
So that guys at home that's just have to cater to my every whim. That's crazy. What the ffff.
Because she lives with no fear.
With no justice.
There's no justice.
There's no justice.
Your dog isn't even, your dog isn't even, back in the day, a man's dog would dole out a little justice.
A little just awesome.
Now I have to stop my dog from doling out justice.
I go, no, no, no.
Now you have to evolve even more puppy doling up just. I go, no, no, no. Now you
have to evolve even more puppy and not dole out swift justice.
Now you just have to give love. All she gets is love.
I know. When they said she was shitting in the house, I was like, so we whack her with
the paper and they were like, no, you don't do that anymore. I'm like, what?
Yeah.
You don't?
We bred the justice out of them.
Yeah, we bred the justice right out of them. I go, well, she did this thing, so I might
as well mush her face in it
and give her a good crack on the ass.
Nope.
He's got to tell you lover and rub her belly.
Rub her belly and it's okay.
And give her a treat if she does it right.
Her belly hurts.
That dog does live.
That dog lives void of justice.
No, justice.
Oh, am I gonna describe how that dog lives, I say justice free. Justice free.
I yelled at her when she ate our red chair. I like really gave her a firm talking to and
I mean she was in her crate shaking like she was a beaten down dog. It was crazy.
I'm the dog and you treat me that game. I want to hear your firm talking, Christine.
I was like, Dawkins, that's a bad dog. That's a very bad puppy. And I mean, she was like I'm the dog and you treat me the game. I want to hear your firm talking, Christine.
I was like, Dawkins, that's a bad dog.
That's a very bad puppy.
And I mean, she was like shit by the way.
So you gave theater.
That doesn't sound, yeah, that doesn't sound.
Wow, Christine.
Well, why don't you settle down a little bit over there?
No Dawkins.
I pointed at it and I yedded her.
That is bad.
That is a bad dog.
And she was shaking in the cage over that.
She was shaking in the crate.
You sound like a young gay boy who's getting justice to his dogs. That is a bad dog. She was shaking in the cage over that. You sound like a young gay boy
who's giving justice to his dogs.
That is a bad dog.
You're not a good dog.
I don't think that's not a good puppy.
He was shaking?
Oh my God.
Shaking.
This is what I say when doodles does something bad.
Doodles, now.
That's justice.
That's dog justice.
I don't hit my dog, doodles, now's justice. That's dog justice. I don't hit my dog, dodles.
Now, now.
And she goes, huh, and she comes back.
You know who the dog listens to in the house?
The only person?
Mwazo.
That's Spanish, because I learned a babble for me.
Talking to listen is pretty good to me,
because I have the firm tone.
I give her the closest thing
she will ever experience to justice.
Dawn is calling me.
Yeah.
Should I answer it?
Yeah.
You sure?
All right.
Tell her she's on.
Dawn, I know.
Jake, you, Dawn, you're on the radio.
This is, I can't give justice, Bobby.
Hello.
You know, if it's a bad time and I don't want to talk about her right now.
Oh God.
Max, are you all right?
Moms, she's, she keeps-
All right, I gotta go.
No, I can't have you lose.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I love you, I'll be back.
It's pre-record, it's pre-record.
Go ahead, go ahead, Max.
What?
Go ahead.
It's, mom keeps, I'm saying that
I had a bunch of tests that I had to do today yeah I came I had a bunch of projects that I had to finish mm-hmm get done a
little homework yeah speed it up kid and I told her she said that I can skip
tutoring today mm-hmm and then she says I only
and she's kind of shortening the day no mom I'm and she also just said a couple seconds ago
you know what I go kind of almost every day jujitsu and he doesn't want to skip Jiu Jitsu.
I'll tell you that much.
He's going to need it.
If you're smart, you'd go to Jiu Jitsu.
Do me a favor, Max.
I'll just skip tutoring.
Tell your mother she's on the air.
You are on the air, mom, and you're yelling at me on the air and you're embarrassing me
right now.
Max, that's justice.
She's getting justice. She's abusive. Max. Yeah. What?
I was trying to tell her that I don't want to really do anything today. Yeah.
She says you know what I'm just gonna cancel jiu-jitsu because even though I
go basically every day now. Yep
All right, listen dude. It's been a real point of attention. I love you kid I gotta go back to work. You gotta work. You gotta go to Jiu Jitsu. That's it man up cancel it
Don't call it shit. So it's called jiu jitsu. I love you
Goodbye
I'm working
Yes, it does matter
Don don't accept your justice don't accept this justice. I gotta go. Goodbye. I love you work it out
You're a big boy work it out
Max yeah, Max remember yesterday when I told you to what?
That was because we only had tutoring right and I didn't have them it was only the homework
I want homework done it's test I want you to Jacob you're gonna beat the shit out of this
kid you should come out to living in America this kid's buried in homework and no jujitsu lessons. I'm sorry, Max. Jacob is talking over you.
I don't want to do basically anything involved with-
You know what?
As the great Louis J. Gomez once said, this is boring.
Max, I love you, kid.
Listen, I'll call you right back, okay?
All right?
All right?
I'm still not going. I'm going to help you okay all right I'm gonna help you work
I'm gonna help you work through this and tell your mother she can hit you if she
wants to okay bye
stop trying to radio budcast me
I gotta go okay do it work it out you got it in you kid. I know you do
Well, okay, work try to get your try to work it out with your mother and then let me know what happens, okay?
I love you kid
Well, I hope he knows that Jacob's been training every single day kid who does not want to train
He thinks he can skip training. I don't need training.
What's going on, by the way?
Why is he buried in projects
and everyone's waiting all the way to the last minute?
No, not at all.
School sucks now.
In school, what they do to you
is they send you home with a bunch of shit.
So you go to school all day
and whatever they can't get done,
they'll just send it home and give it to you.
So now, when I was a kid, you had a little homework, you didn't have a ton. Now every day there's an hour go to school all day and whatever they can't get done they'll just send it home and give it to you.
So now when I was a kid you had a little homework, you didn't have a ton.
Now every day there's an hour or something worth of homework because school system sucks.
Bobby, you're a little messed up because you went to vocational shit and a bunch of juvenile
work camps.
Homework was usually about an hour. If it was less than an hour. That was a crazy light homework day
Well, the homework when I was a kid you didn't have that much homework
You did a lot of shit in school dude
You didn't you came home with some homework maybe a math or a history
But the shit they're coming home with now is like hours of homework and it doesn't make sense
It's hours and hours homework at night. There's a thing though but here's that that's trust me out seventh eight nine tenth. Okay. It's fifth grade, bro
Yeah, why is a fifth grader?
Coming home with an hour's worth of homework. He's in fifth grade
Well, you fucking what's wrong with you? Well, it seems to be overwhelming him
I don't care. Look at man, we were talking about Mike Roe.
That's great, I don't wanna do any work at all.
Huh?
What happened?
He might come in at 340.
All right, listen to me.
340.
We were talking about this at the beginning.
I'm walking in today and I look in the fishbowl
and Mike Roe's there.
You know Mike Roe, dirty jobs.
Dirty jobs.
But now he has a whole foundation that he's promoting.
And it's basically, and I believe in it so much,
it's like you don't have to go to college.
You know, everybody wants, all these kids want to be famous.
Every kid wants to go and become famous
and become a millionaire.
When back in the day, getting a good job
as a carpenter, a firefighter, a plumber,
those jobs pay a couple hundred thousand dollars a year. You can make a
lot of money working and getting a trade and get a house and get land and have a family and have a
car, put your kid through school, you can do all that shit and they don't promote that. They want
all these kids to go and spend 50 grand a semester on college and then come out with no fucking job and they're just a bunch of idiots
that are indoctrated into whatever college
they wanted them to think like, you know what I mean?
And he's in this whole thing
where people should go get the trades
and go do these jobs because they're kind of dying
and they're going to, you know, our kids are, you know.
No, it's absolutely, it's people going for,
like I said, I don't think you should be going to college
unless you have some sort of like a goal,
a college related goal.
And by the way, and whenever you get that,
I talked to Isabelle this weekend actually
about all that stuff, because I was telling her,
I was proud of her, she's killing it
in that esthetician school.
She hasn't gotten less than a perfect score
on any test she's taken.
You know, Don was an esthetician.
Yeah, I do know.
So it was like pretty impressive,
like what she did, I was telling her,
I was like proud of her, and you know,
I was like, I look, I know if you'll comply yourself
to something, you'll be good at it, you know what I mean?
But I was like, I almost thanked her at a time
for not being into college and telling me
before just going like, okay,
I guess everyone wants me to go, so I'll go, like what a waste of money that would have been.
College is a scam.
I really believe it's become a scam.
I believe it's a money making scam.
These teachers have tenure, they can be there forever,
they can't get fired, the schools get so much money,
and these kids go in.
Bill Maher did a killer.
A killer new rules about it.
No, it doesn't make sense when you,
my uncle went and learned to trade and he's a millionaire
and he owns a company and he has houses all over the place.
And it's just a guy who went and learned how to paint
and started his own painting company,
which turned into a epoxy floor company.
I mean, there's so many other paths you can go down
where I think the, like I look at my life
and someone said something to me about like,
you know, you're not like Joe Rogan, like that type.
It's like, that's not my goal.
My goal was to have a family,
have a roof over our heads that is cool.
And Bo Hunt Bison.
And Bo Hunt Bison and serve justice.
And bring community.
Pretty much bring justice.
Bring justice.
Is my third thing I do in life.
To Westchester, me and Sam Roberts
at around midnight every night,
drive around in his Jeep and we dole out justice.
I take care of my family.
That's the number one thing.
I try to take care of myself too, and then justice.
By the way, there's food in there too.
Food's part of taking care of me.
If I watched less than 20 epoxy floor garage floor videos this past week, I'd be shocked.
Oh, dude.
It's incredible.
All I want to do is epoxy my imaginary garage floor.
Oh, my uncle makes floors that look like candy, like Carmel.
Oh, is that what that girl's doing on Love After Lockup?
Epoxy tables? Carmel is that what that girl's doing on love after lockup epoxy
The tables they have the Eddie Van Halen Frankenstein. Yeah flooring you can put down it So I'm walking through the fishbowl. I see Mike row. I love Mike row. I love what he's talking about
I love everything. He's selling. I'm buying it. I'm buying it, right and I I literally J
I open the fish. I walk by the door. I, I pass it, I go back, I get the balls, I open the door.
It's him and another guy.
Full conversation, good conversation.
They have martinis next to them.
And they're martinis and hors d'oeuvres.
And he did say that right.
I was a little nervous.
Say it again?
Oh, no, I can't because you're fucking,
your dumb, fluffy eyebrows went up and it's intimidates me.
Okay, it intimidates me.
Keep them down.
Ordoves.
Okay, thanks, yeah.
So, I open, I go, hey, Mike, I'm a big fan, my name,
and I, I'm Robert Kelly, blah, blah, blah, blah. I have a show here with a big J called the bonfire
I you know
Comedian I love what you do. I love all the stuff. I love dirty jobs
But I love what you're doing now and he stood up and came over to me and shook my hand and started engaging with me
He was a cat. It's gotta you know, he started to give his talk to me about it and then old blabbermouth
Bob You know he started to give his talk to me about it and then old blabbermouth Bob
Just went on
My uncle he's a bubba and I did and I worked for him and my son have matching snowblowers
God I suck around famous people Greenworks tools
Pillow cubes have used the pillow cube
Who's the people we need people to make the pillow cubes we can keep it here in America
Particularly my generation I went to school from 1990 to 2008 and I feel like growing up
Blue collar jobs are really looked down upon. Yeah, it was like it was beneath everybody to have that
I was the daughter of a mechanic and a hairdresser. So luckily in my home, I had a different idea.
And honestly, like as a chick being a wife and a mother was really looked down on.
And I think that those things were kind of a bit damaging, honestly,
to like have that be like, oh, you're stupid if you want to work blue collar.
Oh, you're stupid if you want to be a wife and a mom.
Well, you know, I was I was saying with a yeah.
Blue collar jobs pay a lot of money. There's unions.
I mean,
I went to beauty school immediately after high school.
I was like, let me get my trade.
I think especially now,
because men are useless.
So that's like the best gig to have is a blue collar job.
Blue collar job is great too, because you're in shape.
Yeah.
I mean, these big breakfasts we're eating
is because guys used to wake up at five
and go pick up steel and wood and make shit,
and now we're eating the same breakfast
and we're sitting in our living room on a fucking laptop
doing a fuck, a zoom.
That's where a bunch of tubs of shit, you know?
Yeah, you know, it was a different dream back then.
You spend the weekends on the Jersey Shore.
What?
And our mother's in the USO and she asked your dad to dance.
Dance with her slow.
Slow.
And they were living in somewhere in Massachusetts.
The idea of going to college to go sit at a desk for 40 hours a week is draining.
But the factories have all shut down. It's getting very hard to stay.
A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A.
A-A-A-A-A-A-A.
Whoa.
Ah.
Ah.
No, I've said it.
I'm surprised my ex-wife wanted Isabella to go to college so bad, which
I understand.
I've said this with Isabella, look, every parent kind of like, there's some inside thing
where you're like, wouldn't it be great if your kid's just like super studious and wants
to become a doctor and goes on that path and it works for them?
In some way, I'm like, yeah, should that be great?
I go, but if they don't, you know,
my ex doesn't want to do what she went to school for.
She will be in six figure debt for that forever.
But what they lose, like those debts and everything,
you get buried under for like, I don't know if like, for what?
Like Isabella was going to school
just cause like she was supposed to next.
And I'm like, no, go work.
They're coming out of school with a mortgage debt
without the house, which is ridiculous.
Now here, you go learn a trade,
which gives you what?
Work ethic.
You gotta wake up.
You gotta be on time.
You gotta work hard and you get that check.
And the end of five years, you might have a house.
You might have land.
You'll have something with your money.
It's a goal.
It's what the American-
Or you are completely stored up on the drugs you take.
Yes, that's a better path to owning your own business.
Yeah.
Yeah, we law, I don't know what the fuck happened.
I think my thing had a little bit of that though.
I know everybody, all my friends from back in school,
like back in high school, all my friends from back in school,
back in high school, all my friend Glenn's dispatch
for trucking, he worked in a trucking company
now he's dispatch.
I mean everybody was like auto parts delivery
and just kind of like, and then we know people
who started their own cleaning company
or work delivering, I had a couple friends
that worked delivering super early in the morning
delivering boar's head, like lunch meats and stuff.
And those jobs, but then you own,
but then you buy the truck and it's like,
there's some path to something.
Then you own five trucks and people work for you.
Here's the thing, it's that restaurant thing.
You know, in that awesome restaurant goes out of business,
you're like, what happened?
And what happened was the grandparents opened it
and really worked their ass off for this
great Chinese restaurant.
And then their kids grew up in that restaurant and took it to the next level.
And now it was the best Chinese restaurant for 25 years.
But they made so much money and it was so successful that their kids went to college.
And they don't want to be a Chinese, they want to be a doctor or a sales something or
whatever.
They don't want it.
So nobody's there to take care of the restaurant.
So it's dead, it's gone.
And what happened in America is so many people
made so much money that their kids,
these construction workers, these plumbers
had their own business and they made their money.
And then their kids' kids, who they passed it onto,
they had money and their kids went to college
because that what you're supposed to do if you had money.
And they went to college and then these kids are out there
with no fucking job, no skill, no work ethic.
And now we're at where we're at.
I do love when I try to-
That was a good speech.
I mean, shit, I thought that was good.
Thank you guys.
Justice.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate it.
Thank you, Christine.
Don't hail Hitler.
Oh, sorry.
I'm just hail Christine. I was gonna hail Jacob and black Lou.
It sucks way more black dick than Nazi dick. I can tell you that. That's good.
That will weigh out when you're standing in front of Jesus, Christine.
That's going to plan out how many Nazis did have,
did you sleep in how many black people did you sleep?
Christina swastika earrings on her nipples.
Six and one half dozen the other.
The only thing when Isabel was toying with college, I did try to talk her into nursing
school because that's something that could take her anywhere.
But also with a vestition license, it also would give her the ability to like do Botox
and start her own business in a way where you can do more things. But she I need your father advice and anybody can please I'd love to take everybody's advice
Don keeps she knows I'm on the air. I'm working and she's texting me like I'm involved like she I was gonna
What should I say back? What should I quickly say back to my wife hit him?
Yeah, that's Jay hit him Christine. Take him tojitsu. Take him to Lu will settle this after Mike row
Okay, what about this Jacob? I think he should go to jujitsu. No, I'm gonna type this. What should I say?
Go to jujitsu go to jujitsu black Lou
I'm hoping there's a bitch involved in this not at all. No, okay, babe. I'm working actually right now
Wow, Jesus Christ, but I think you should go to Jiu Jitsu
and maybe we can talk about the rest of this
during the break.
I'm working, babe.
After Mike Rowe, love you.
How about Black Blue after you go and say?
That's not, anybody said to say it.
He said after Mike Rowe.
You're just like Hodgepodge.
He said, Black Blue said,
Black Blue said Snow Bunny,
he said Snow Bunny, bitch, damn.
Remember what you did on the boat
where you were like get over here.
You're going like that.
Take him to Jiu Jitsu and hit him. That's what Christine said.
Hit him and then say, hit him.
I said be stern like on the boat. Did you hit him on the boat?
Look, you can't even talk to a dog hard.
Try to fucking rough up my kid, okay?
Maybe you're scared of the dog when you said,
doggy we go
Yo, yo, yo bobo boo boo. We don't go to go to pop up stomach. I was really stern. I
Exactly. Yeah, you can lie on my blanket if you want to my key key blanket
Um
The that kind of debt is correct. You have a bill more thing at all. It was so good. So I loved Don, she laughed at Chris T. Sam.
Well, I walked into him and dude, I am so embarrassed
because I was talking so much, I was so,
I like him so much and I was just kept yapping
and he turned away and walked away going.
While you were talking.
Yeah, but it wasn't like a fuck you,
but it was more of a, okay, man, this kid, this guy,
I thought he might have his shit together.
We might have a quick little thing,
which I should have been, all right, cool, thank you.
But I don't know how to act around famous people.
You know this.
You acted right in front of Barry Manilow.
Because he came into our thing. If I was the one to go in and say,
Barry, can you please?
So you ruined it for us.
You okay?
I thought I was gay one time, but I'm not gay.
I found out I love my wife, but I have done gay stuff.
I wanna hear my other gay stuff.
I love your songs.
You know what I mean?
You wrote the songs that make me cry.
Are you mad?
I'll blow you.
Do you like me?
Do you think I'm all right?
I lost some weight.
My tits are a little saggy, but I'm working on it.
Ah, my belly button's an inny. And then you just walked away from you like me? Do you think I'm all right? I lost some weight. My tits are a little saggy, but I'm working on it. Ah, my belly button's an inny.
And then you just walked away from you, huh?
Yeah, I just walked away from you.
When he walks in here, he's gonna see a man in control.
In here. The master of his craft.
In here, sitting in my chair.
My chair.
Half an hour.
My chair.
In front of my microphone,
with my red Van Halen headphones on.
With your family following the pieces and text messages.
Everything okay there with your family Bob?
I will be fine, but in there he walked away.
But I did leave at the, I was like, okay, cool.
And I walked away at the right time.
And the guy behind me going, excuse me, excuse me.
Which kind of bugged me.
It's like, listen, we're all on the same team.
Cause this is the show he should be on.
Let me tell you, whatever interview you're doing, fine.
This is the people, the Bonfire fans are the people
you need to talk to.
They're the consumer.
They're the kids that are in college.
They're the kids that are gonna go to college.
They're the kids that just get out of college
and know what the fuck they're doing.
They're the ones with kids that are gonna go to college.
This is your fan base you wanna reach, right here.
And we're gonna do it.
Over there having a martini with everyone
who definitely is gonna go to college.
100%.
You don't wanna talk to the NPR fans.
You wanna talk to people who read.
Oh yeah, cut to the end of this.
The end, okay.
It's the last place.
This is Bill Maher, what is it, explain the, what is this? The new rules? It's new last. This is this is Bill Maher. What is it's explained? What is this?
So it's new rules, but it's him talking about colleges.
OK. That's that's that's.
Can I just stop? We're getting really good at context, by the way.
I think really good.
So good.
I think we should get context buttons.
Can we get a most improved context award from Big Jim?
Big Jim, if you're listening,
I'd like you to get us a most improved context award.
Yeah. And then maybe one day is most replayed here, so.
Good.
There's clog.
Vivek Ramos-Swami, Yale and Harvard.
Ron DeSantis, Yale and Harvard.
Ted Cruz, Princeton and Harvard.
Pat Robertson, George W. Bush.
Tom Cotton, Mike Pompeo, Bill O'Reilly, Steve Bannon,
Jared Kushner, most of the Supreme
Court. There's a special magic that links Harvard types and being utterly face punchable.
His audience claps too much.
I hate his audience. They're all sick of it.
He doesn't like his audience.
He hates his audience and I agree. Sick of it.
And some I assume are good. Cates is on here tonight, I agree. Sick of fans. I'm so nice when we're doing it.
Can you stop for a second?
What do you want her to do, dude?
I mean, if we're doing a show,
they're gonna, if we were doing a live show,
we want them to fucking be sick of fans too.
No, no, no, it's not that.
He has somebody telling, there's a clap button.
There are some guys.
They just start clapping.
No, he doesn't like it either.
They just, he looks at them a lot where it's like,
guys, Jesus Christ. Every point they have to clap. Right. It slows the
standalone. And while it may seem like these men, men like these and the kids who signed the Harvard
letter have nothing in common, actually I think they do. They all came out of an asshole factory. So...
So, to the older folks, I say, college today is not the college you remember.
And to the younger people, I say, don't.
Don't do it.
You don't need four years and a lifetime of crippling debt to learn to hate America
when you can just watch five minutes of Selling Sunset.
So I mean, there's no need for a clap that long for that.
Well, Selling Sunset does suck.
If your parents have 300 grand, they absolutely need to flush down the toilet, put it in crypto,
or buy a van, go to a national park and feed yourself to a bear.
Because any legacy dipshit can go to pen,
but a bear, that's hard to get into.
It's longer than it starts off, we're just fine,
but if you go check that out, it's really just like,
I've said to Isabella afterwards,
I'm like, it's very interesting,
because when I was talking to her this weekend
about this stuff, I was like,
Isabella's 21 years old too,
she's going to esthetician school.
If she does that and goes, okay, this is like good money,
but I see what the ceiling is on this,
then it's like at 27 she can go back to nursing school
if she wants to.
And then she'll be ready to do it.
Then she'll be like, no, no, I want to do this.
So I'm going to do well at it.
Because like when she's 20, the world's ahead of her
and she doesn't have that vision of being a nurse.
So it's like in her mind, she just,
all she's seeing, which I get is three years of something she doesn't want to do at all
for something you know I mean like for an outcome she doesn't even see seems fun
again my ex-wife's a great example until that school she doesn't want to be a lawyer
she doesn't like it you know what I mean she found it out right away after you're in mega debt
she wants to come in it's crazy to me that she's-
I'm so had Dan Natterman, Greg Gerardo,
all these guys that had like law school debt,
that's like, they don't use it at all.
Look at the guys who didn't go to school
and invented shit and became gazillionaires.
Didn't even go to college.
You need to find, that's why even schools suck here.
So, you know, kindergarten is, I don't even know,
that's just, you know what that's for?
That's so that both parents can go to work.
Which is nuts, because they weren't taxing women
back in the day.
Women stayed home and took care of the family.
Ironically though, women still very taxing.
Hmm?
Hmm?
You just been.
You just got...
Jade!
It's okay, it's way back.
Remember, Jacob said we were never going to use it again?
And then we used it those few weeks?
Never again.
Me?
I said that.
He said that.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
When you got mad.
But still, you did get Jade.
Bear with me.
I wish you did that on stage.
You just got jade.
You did a joke.
Go drink water.
Every time a joke doesn't let go, just go, you just got jade.
You just got jade.
I'm with you though, Bobby. Every time a joke doesn't let go just go you got change
I think it's crazy to be that much in debt and I also think the curriculum is
Crazy anti-American now also why can't college be?
Three or four thousand dollars here. It's so crazy. You can like, you can learn $60,000 a year school. It's like a 90 price. You can learn everything online.
Oh, no, for sure.
It doesn't even make sense.
If you really want to learn something,
you don't have to spend a dime.
You can go online.
But you get no accreditation.
You can't just go, I'm pretty much a doctor.
Yeah, but you could take the bar.
I mean, look at med school, stuff like that.
But to go to school and just come out with some weird degree
and thinking you're going to get some unknown judge.
That's what I mean.
A degree in art history is fucking retarded.
Unless you love art history.
No, unless you love it and you go,
I want to be a professor of art history.
Or fucking Indiana Jones or whatever.
Like, I want to be a professor of art history or fucking Indiana Jones or whatever
Archaeologists you want to be a justice doler around the world. I want to do a justice
He goes um now do we do you guys have a whip class here, or do we have to learn whip on our own?
Do I have to self-teach whip or do you guys have a course? I'm majoring in art history minoring in whip
This is so much better than college
Guys when is the run out the run from a rock?
You guys tie that into gym class or something when we run from b boulders? I need to, I just took the jump from vehicle to vehicle class.
Hey, by the way.
He goes, I failed my quiz on which one of these is the holy grail.
I picked the fanciest one, like a stupid asshole.
Jesus was a pauper!
I haven't seen that movie in so long. Is that what it is, right? Jesus was a pauper. Jesus was a pauper. Jesus was a pauper. Jesus was a pauper. Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper.
Jesus was a pauper. Jesus was a pauper. Jesus was a pauper. Jesus was a pauper. Jesus was a pauper. the guy drank out of like fucking little John Shallis. Like little Wayne.
Yeah, he got it out of the Caesar's Palace Mall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey Snoop Dogg, what's that cup you're drinking out of?
He says it in the movie, I forget the line,
but yeah, this is the bling Jesus.
But he does it.
But it's crazy that they promote that
because like my little brother, he went to a little community college
or something like that and then he became a fisherman.
Made a ton of cash fishing and now he works for my uncle,
probably take over from my uncle.
When he's gone, now he'll have a business
and he'll make a ton of cash and it's, you know,
it's a great life.
He has that he bought his own apartment,
he's got a girl, he's probably gonna get a house soon.
This other shit.
You have to work hard in both things to make money.
That's another thing too.
Like with my, and I only say this with my accent,
just saying, because I watched all this kind of unfold there.
Like she didn't do the jobs when she came out of law school.
And it's good we have Isabella and stuff, you know.
So like, but she didn't do the jobs where you go work
70 hour weeks for very little money
For a couple years, right?
But then you're like an associate and a partner something and you start making six figures and high six figures even
But you have to do that shit part first same thing with like if you're doing carpet cleaning or construction
Like you're gonna have to grind out at first, but like there is an endgame to work ethic
That's the thing kids are missing they want missing. They wanna jump from here to here.
Because you can, because you also can somehow.
Some people can, but most of them don't.
And most of them wind back up at their parents' house
like, what the fuck do I do?
And it's like you're not a failure.
You're not a failure at 26, 28, and you don't have a job.
You can go get a job. It's you don't want that job.
You don't wanna go cut grass and then someday
own that business and have 35 lawns that you cut
and you have all these people working for you
and you own everything and people don't wanna do that.
No, and you were just in Providence,
which I think is a cool thing, I was talking
to the crowds in those towns, but also like Michigan's
and Wyoming's
and those kind of places, or Wisconsin rather, I mean,
is like, it's still these places all around this country
that are like blue, I'm like to see that exist
because here in New York, we are void of it.
We see a fucking 85 Mexican guys
throwing up a fucking skyscraper here.
And you know what I mean?
It looks like that's the job of like,
well, they'll do that hard work for blah, blah, blah.
But it's when you get to the middle of the country
and it's just like dudes who work.
You know, it's my Friday.
It's almost historically why Friday late shows
the roughest show,
because it is still a work day
and people come to the late show and they're fucking exhausted.
Exhausted and fucked up.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it's a bunch of men.
Yeah.
No, I'm saying there is,
there's still dudes in this country, which is pretty great. Yeah, it's great. But it is, it is dying off though, and a lot of places where it's like people want to
people, people want to become famous and rich. They don't want the American dream used to be a family, a roof over your head, food in everybody's belly, and spend
time together. That was the American dream. Now the American dream is, you can become
famous like Brad fucking Pitt, or you can become famous like Taylor Swift. You can
sing a song with a microphone on your stupid intro game.
Well, it's also like you can figure out like how to manipulate a thing with the GameStop
thing, you know, or something like that. There's also like, Phineas people learn like crypto
and stock
and all that kind of shit they play around with.
There's a bunch of things.
Kids wanna be famous.
Kids are watching people on YouTube.
I took Max's iPad.
I took his iPad and an iPhone away.
And it sucked for a day.
Doesn't even care about it anymore.
Like he was so into.
He found something else to whack off to.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
He had to go find your analog man. Why don't you leave, you know what, if I had a son right now,
why don't you leave some magazines around the house for him to find?
Because those things are gone.
That's a thing that's lost.
Don't you feel bad that your boy, it's too much.
Like you said, he can go around the thing and go like,
spread ass anal cream pie, come shot gang bang and see all of that.
Instead of just finding in your closet like, what?
A boob.
Just a playboy, not anyway, you know,
a playboy, even dirtier than a playboy,
but just like a porn magazine.
I have a play, I have old playboys.
I have like four of them that I kept.
Honestly, I did keep them so that one day,
if he was like, I could, hey dude, check these out.
You can look at these, but not now.
Ten's too young.
Ten's too young, coming from-
No, no, sure.
Ten is way too young.
I'll be judging the age, I'm just saying,
like, let him discover, I don't know,
eleven is when I found my, like, dad's, like,
corn, I guess.
Yeah, I think maybe a little later than that,
I think, you know, when he's-
21.
Not 21.
Hey, let me see, you wanna know.
Ten is too young to get into that.
It's too young.
I know from experience, all my sex life,
everything sexual with me is fucked up
because I learned about sex at a way too young age
and it killed me.
And then later in life, I had such a hard time
with girls sexually because I was so desensitized to it
that I was fucked, you know what I mean?
So it's like a lot of unwiring for the last 15 years
to get to where I can have a normal relationship.
It's really, and that's because I learned about sex too young
and I didn't learn about it from adults or anybody
who cared about me.
I learned about it from other dudes, you know?
You know, to go back a little bit,
but with DeRose is such a good example of something.
He's the person I know the most
that fucking loved college.
I guess Bert, Christ, or two.
People who loved college.
But the party aspect of it, for sure.
So there's like, I get the social thing of it
being like amazing.
But beyond that, I don't understand why going to like you
said Yale is necessarily to Jacob. Jacob what are you doing? We just hear the typing.
Jesus Christ. I'm taking notes on the bonfire. No it's fine. You're just looking around for what it was.
Yeah. Quarty, Quarty board. Don't go to school. Max is dead. I will kill him. I will kill him. Max, you better
train or else. Max will never beat me. I will choke him out and then jerk him off. Oh man,
the ultimate showdown for justice. The Justice Bowl. But where was I actually? We all weren't listening.
God damn it, come on everybody.
You were talking about when you sexually,
when you were a kid you got molested.
No I went back for Joe.
Joe was molested sexually.
No, I'm saying Joe looked at,
so I understand the social thing of it,
but if there's just no genuine end game, like for that, exactly. If you go to like
Penn State, because you grew up and your dad and the Nittany Lions are your team, and I get the going to the football games and everybody putting on their
face paint, and then the party after, I get all of that, but you're paying a lot of money, not for that, you're supposed to be
getting an education when you come out, you're going to make a lot of money to pay this back. It's not, it's not, most of you
will come out like it's better to go in the HVAC. That's just needed forever.
Listen, he said it right there. If you have $300,000 to throw down the fucking tube, fine,
but most people don't. You should, you should not go into debt to go to a college to have
that on your resume because it's not going to work out. You're probably going to debt to go to a college to have that on your resume, because it's not going to work out.
You're probably going to find something
that you love along the way.
You're a passion of what you're going to do.
And this is going to be for naught.
And yes, I said that.
I said for naught.
I really liked it.
Thank you very much.
And I mean.
That's going to impress.
Yeah.
Micro.
That's goddamn right.
I'm working
on it right now so you know I mean look it not everybody's gonna come with but
the thing is like that one but it's it's it's the waking up the waking up
getting ready going to work working your ass off when you don't want to, coming home, being tired.
There's something about that that was like America.
That's why we were the baddest.
It also drives you to one day be the boss
and then you don't have to do this.
Right, and having that hard work and having that,
just that clock in you, like, you know, just that clock in you, like,
you know, Max waking up every day, it's like, dude, wake up, get up, go out, get your breakfast in, get dressed quick, you want more time, figure out your time. I'm working through all that stuff
with him right now. And so that he can have the skills. I told Don, I don't want a kid that's
coming back here asking you for 20 bucks when he's 20 something. Just knowing those skills too.
I remember when we moved to our neighborhood in South Jersey, when we moved from Philly
to South Jersey, one of my friends stepped that.
That's the one I did the concrete work, like wheelbarrowing concrete and shit.
It was for his stepdad.
And why I was able to get that work was the way they made this development where my mom
lives, everyone got a standard like like let's call it four by eight
slab of concrete yeah and
Some lawn like a small patch of lawn you were allowed to build out
Like a couple more feet out and all the way over if you wanted to and then so this guy just started putting up the flyers around the neighborhood
Like I do that and he would do, he made so much money, just every third house and that development
was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, make mine like the bigger slab.
He charged like a fair rate.
It was like a day of work.
I'd bring this shit over to him and pour it and then he'd make it online.
It's just like, it's a skill that it'd be nice just to have.
I'm worried about that when we talk about buying houses or buying a house.
I look at these things from time and I'm like,
dude, if that thing goes,
I don't even know where to fucking start.
What do you mean?
Like if I just look at a thing in a house, it's like,
oh, that's nice.
I'm trying to give a good example of something.
I know most things you call people for.
But I'm like, you know,
I don't know, problem with a skylight.
You know what I mean? Or just like, or like you said, a crack in something,
replacing a piece of drywall.
It'd be nice to be able just to do those things instead of having to call somebody to fucking do it.
I tell you this, what's going to happen to you when you get a house?
And it happened to me because I lived in the city in, you know, on 97th Street for years
and Hell's Kitchen for years.
I just, all that stuff went away in me that my uncles
and you know, whatever dads that I've with
over the years that I saw them do.
When you get the house, all of a sudden you just do it, Jay.
It comes out of you.
Sure, I believe you'll try, but I'm saying.
I'm telling you, you're gonna walk out on the backyard,
Christine's gonna be gardening,
and you're like, how the fuck did she learn that?
And you're gonna put up a fence.
And then all the other stuff you do call somebody.
You can't fucking fix a screen, you know,
and stuff like you can't fix a window.
You can.
Well, not a window, but like a screen for sure.
You can, my mom's like learned how to do that somehow.
But I just mean like in the, I just like, you know,
caulking like I said, I can do it, I know,
but I almost get nervous like,
you're not gonna do a good job.
I want it like to look sleek and like perfect.
And I'm like, I don't know if I'm the guy.
You're the guy.
Me and Carl, me and my ex,
when we got our second apartment in New York,
when we moved our first time,
that when we decided to paint,
and I painted like a diamond pattern
that went around the whole living room.
Right.
Oh, that sense of accomplishment felt so good.
But it just came out of you because you had to.
When you get a house, I'm telling you,
that's what my point, I'm trying to make.
When you get your own house
and you're up wherever the fuck you are,
you're just gonna, I want this,
and you're gonna go, I'm just gonna do it.
You know, I wanted to put a fence around my backyard
for the dog, I just did it.
But how much we all fucked up?
It's funny that classes.
But I wouldn't have a cock.
The classes I wish isn't.
I'm the king of cock.
Cocking and shit like that, Jay, you hire somebody.
The classes I wish I paid more attention to though
were things like, I definitely in a classroom,
would there be an electric shop, electric shop class?
I don't know if that's a show for kids.
They showed you, I was taught at some point
how to remove an outlet, put the wires back into the next one.
And now if you were like, do that, I'd be like,
I'll burn the fucking hell.
Like I don't know what I'm doing at all.
It's very.
And that's a bummer, like to not,
because that's the thing, that's why I feel like
it may die a bit with my generation.
Because my dad didn't teach me any of these things,
but I do remember in the limited time I'd be with him though,
he'd be under the car on a dolly,
he changed his own spark plugs,
he changed his own oil and changed his own brakes.
In the driveway, I wouldn't even,
do you know what I'm saying?
I don't know what the fuck to do with any of that stuff.
That's weird that it's gone.
That was very common knowledge,
was a guy would get out of the car,
lift the hood, play with a couple of things,
even temporarily fix it like, ah, you just do this.
You can't do it anymore.
And now you can't do it because the car is for sure.
You can't do it anymore, but dude,
around the house shit like that, I'm telling you,
when you get your house, you're just gonna fix it.
Dude, my heat went out a couple winters ago
in the middle of the night.
The heat went out and it was a brand new system I just put in.
And it was out of warranty.
So I think it was 350 for the guy to come out
at two in the morning and 250 an hour.
I just went on YouTube.
There was some dude with a hair lip going sniff.
Unplugged his sniff.
And then I took out the thing and he said,
take out this nut and clean this off and then clean that off.
I put everything, boom, came back on.
YouTube will transform you, Jay.
Oh yeah, no, I bet.
But like stuff that I never did,
because I had a superintendent, I just called a super.
Right.
Just called a super.
When you have a house, you just wind up doing it.
Talrack comes down, that kind of shit.
We had our we had our
Coat rack come off the wall the other day, and I'm like I'm not like now that it ripped out of the wall
You know the holes are big and I'm like I don't have anchors
And if I did I don't know how I'm using them exit
You know I'm saying I just don't know the stuff because you don't have to but when you get a house
You'll have and it's you're gonna have to find some guy you have a super when you have a super dude
It's just called downstairs
But when you when you're out wherever the hell you are and you have to find a guy and then vet that person
They're gonna come to your house and they're gonna come in it's gonna cost you all this money
You're like I mean just go to YouTube and then all of a sudden you find out that it will take two seconds you just
You fill in it you fill it and then you you put some sawdust and some shit and then there you go.
Blowing it, slapping on the side, see if it fixes it.
Deliver justice to that heater.
Hey everybody, thanks for listening.
That was just a portion of our actual Sirius XM radio show.
If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash Bombfire for a special offer.
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And go to bigjcomedy.com and robertkellylive.com to check out our stand
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