The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Liberace-ed (feat. Mike Finoia)
Episode Date: March 26, 2024The guys disagree about Doja Cat and take a deeper dive into the Nickelodeon documentary aftermath. ...
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And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly
That's attention by Doja Cat coming on today's top hits
103
Barking Bob
Doja Cat she is one foxy lady in my right gang. I don't even know what she looks like
There's one foxy lady, am I right gang? I don't even know what she looks like.
You don't know what those guys look like?
No. She's hot.
Is she?
Yeah.
And she does all kinds of nakey stuff.
This song makes me feel silly inside.
Yeah.
This song makes me feel, I don't know.
I mean she does a lot of weird shit,
but she does a lot of weird shit,
but her, generally speaking, is hot.
I wouldn't mind poop into this song.
Right.
This might make me poop better.
You think it's, yeah?
Is that what it does, makes you duke?
It made me duke.
Look at those big old.
Tits.
Oh, floppers.
Yeah, that's the other thing too.
They're real tits, those things are floppers.
They are.
When you do see them out, you're like,
that's not a fake tits, dude.
No. She's got a big old heavy set of cans. Those are what I call. Those are deep floppers. When you do see them out, you're like, that's not a fake tits, dude. She's got a big old heavy set of cans.
Those are what I call doug dougs.
When you take them out of the bra, they're doug doug.
Doug doug.
Doug doug.
I like a nice, I do like a nice goofy floppy boob later
in my life. Um. I do like a nice goofy floppy boob later in my life.
I don't mind a floppy set of gnats.
I like floppy set of gnats and I like a small one.
I like a little tight one, like a nice A cup.
I don't mind an A cup, but you mean a flop,
but not an A cup, can't be a flap tit.
No, I don't like a flap tit.
Yeah.
Like an egg in a sock.
Oh my God. That like a flap tit. Yeah, like a like a like an egg in a sock. Oh my god
What I do when I touch up my dogs like the side mouth. That's what
The chops like an uncooked slice of pizza the same stuff on your hands to
Bonfire everybody. It's Monday faction talk series XM 103 big jokers and Robert Kelly whole crew hanging out
Unfortunately, Jacob who I by the way while this song was playing just looking at Jacob playing with a knife
Like a fucking lunatic. Are you gonna stalk and kill doja cat dude? She will be mine
Thanks for doing the show Jacob is from It's from Sonny Flo Rida.
Look at you over there.
Look how happy he is.
I fuck your bitch, you fat motherfucker.
It's the remix, yeah.
It's the remix.
It's the remix.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What you say again, Jacob?
Fuck your bitch.
You fat motherfucker.
Fucking pussy.
Jacob don't play. I thought Jacob's aggressive. aggressive look. He never I haven't seen Jacob's teeth in three months that he was home
I know he's so happy. I don't like seeing his bed in the background
He's got like three pillows lined up Jacob's gonna say he doesn't like those. He turned it
I don't think those your cats a Jacob type type It's too much for me. Yeah too much. What's that's too much?
Yeah, the the the bottom half is just too much, but
Stop it, dude. She's like a tiny little thing. No, it's not that she's wearing a smear. She's got a big booty, man
I'm not into big booties. Um our guest on the show today everybody friend of the show
I mean, he's America's amigo He on the show today everybody friend of the show. I mean he's America's amigo
He's the world's amigo
It is poncho Mike Mike for no ya
So
Character I've invented a long time ago for Mike is Mike definitely wore a lot of drug rugs when he was younger the poncho
It's born in one and then I just became a Spanish guy named poncho Mike
His poncho Mike just goes around the world experiencing things and then tells you his experiences
These are just my experiences
Thank you, thank you
No me you sit down I make my own hot sauce on the road.
The stuff I find on the side of the road.
If not for you, there'll be no me.
The things these eyes have seen.
She does have a fucking cartoonishly big dump ass.
She lost a little weight, but she never lost her tootsie.
Her tootsie's too big, man.
It's too hot.
No, you don't mean that.
I do.
I like it.
Christine, there's a great video I heard
just really twerking it out.
And show these guys how great it is.
Lou, I know you're in on this.
I'm talking to you, white Lou.
Black Lou thinks this chick's a cockroach.
It's too big.
It is.
It's too big. It's hot.
You're looking at this one wonky picture.
Dude, it is.
Doja Cat butt. Christine Christine's the love of sweet Jesus
I'm going to YouTube on the other video five minutes in you're already yelling at Christine
What's he lives on Google when everything I want is available on YouTube?
Those you cap up now look at that button the red over there. It's not too much. It's a lot
Man, you're seeing it. It's cuz it's ooh, that's too much. No much, my... You're seeing it, it's because it's... Ooh.
That's too much.
Too much.
Right there's too much.
You're seeing, you're seeing spatially this is a wrong setup.
She's so short and tiny, that's not that big.
It's just the biggest thing on her.
Yep.
It's too big.
I'm with you, Bobby.
It's big, man.
Thank you, Michael.
I'm with you.
Well, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry to you, you black Lou that these guys are filthy fucking racists
That's pure racism has nothing to do with her in the bikini. Are you out of your tree? Oh, that's that's
Jay, oh that's that's old shit. Come on right there. It's too mushy in there
You know what? That's like you ever see those like, you know
Eating contest cheeseburgers when you're like,
I don't wanna even fuckin', you know?
She lost weight though.
I don't know if you guys heard that,
but she never lost her tussy.
Can you go to the performance, Christine,
that we like that you could see?
She's so hot.
Makes me sick.
No, it doesn't make you sick.
Makes me sick.
You're being racist, Bobby.
I'm not being, it has nothing to do with it.
Is this the world you want your son to grow up in?
Yes.
A world of racism?
A smaller butt world?
A world of flat asses.
I want a nice Connecticut butt.
Yeah, when she comes out, she starts
rapping in Tiffany Haddish's face.
Tiffany Haddish really makes a meal out
of her appearance in this.
I really don't like it.
I want Max to have a nice, holding a signature ass.
So really, what you're seeing right here looks like a girl
you don't think is attractive.
No, she's beautiful.
No, she's pretty, but the butt's too big. It's not. It's big. No, she's beautiful. No, she's pretty, but I don't. Look how tiny.
It's not.
It's big.
It's big, Jay.
It's so big.
You're crazy.
It's not like a big, fake butt, though.
It's just a nice butt.
Look at Tiffany Haddish.
Hey, isn't this really your time right now?
It's kind of my time?
Yeah, sit down.
Tiffany.
Tiffany Haddish just goes to award shows
and gets fucking tatered.
Yeah. I think after this
There's like a video of her just go like yo Shakira
Shakira just leaves
No, she's very pretty it's just that butts too much it's not though. Yeah, get her on stage
Chris I bet I've been stopped this Santa Claus would be like get off
Get off get her off, it's too hot.
It's too hot?
Yes you do.
You don't even know what you're talking about.
Look how tiny she is.
Nah, you could defrost a steak with that ass.
You guys are out of your fucking tree.
It's too big, Jay.
It's not too big.
DJ Lou.
It's a perfect amount of ass.
DJ Lou, this chick's hot as hell.
Yes, agree.
You're saying two things, Jay.
No.
You're saying two separate, he's saying two separate things. He's saying two separate things.
Tell us what the two things are.
I think she's very hot.
I would never say a girl that's body I didn't like was smoking hot.
No, hot is the face.
And her butt is a whole other continent, dude.
You guys are out of your tree.
And can we stop with the blood?
No, it's her thing.
Why do they have blood and everything now?
Because that's her thing that keeps saying she's a devil worship.
No, she is.
Now see, that. OK. We're watching this video. What is this from, by the way? Why do they have blood and everything now? That's her thing that keeps saying she's a devil worship. No, she is now see that
Okay, we're watching this video. What is this from by the way?
The VMAs everybody else's finger on the pulse Bobby every you keep your finger on the pulse. Yeah, she's pretty
You should check you up pulse listen. Oh look at her way too big. It's way too big
You're crazy. It's a dumb. It's a big ass. Yeah, it's a big dumb ass. It's probably fake
Yeah, I didn't say it was dumb you did but it would it takes nothing away from her Jay
Remember when we saw that well check at the airport with the button plants ever saying how she shits like a fucking
Like a play-doh machine like like a homemade pasta maker
Yeah, you're when you're when your turds have to get through so much ass cheek
before it gets to live, it's coming out
like when someone's rolling tortillas.
You ever see those tortilla rollers?
You're just making homemade lasagna noodles?
Lasagna noodles and turds.
It just lays like a fucking cake.
You have to hold both of your cheeks and spread them out
and poop and
Make sure you get everything before you get up. I'd hold doja cheeks ass cheeks open so she can shit
Doja cats ass cheeks open. I'd hold doja cheeks cat open
Look at little Nas X. Everyone's getting over him. Yeah, I love that. He was so flamboyant too hard too fast
Now everyone's kind of like alright, dude, that's enough. Don't do it near me
He was so flamboyant, too hard, too fast. Now everyone's kinda like, all right, dude, that's enough.
Don't do it near me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We get it, we get it, we know who you are.
Go back to that, they just showed one of those,
like the guy in front of him's kinda like, okay.
It's plenty now.
Mm-hmm. Yep.
Too much ass.
She's fucking four foot 11.
It's too much.
You can hold it in one hand, I promise you, Bob.
All those paper towels flying on stage
are for her ass to wipe it off during this number.
Bleh.
Why, just because they're all covered in sticky blood?
Oh my god, he looks like he's like.
Look at this guy, he's like, uh.
Liza Minnelli behind him.
Ed Sheeran's like, hey, Ed Sheeran's behind him.
I'm like, hey, Lil Nas X,
can you move your unnecessary angel wing?
I'm trying to see!
He's wearing a fucking dumb hat.
Can you take off that head peacock?
Yeah.
Everyone's like, Lil Nas X,
this Cher looking motherfucker. Yeah, he looks like he should be in a fucking dumb ass. Can you take off that head peacock? Yeah. Everyone's like, Lil Nas X, this Cher looking motherfucker.
He looks like he should be in a fucking float.
He's like, if I could turn back time and change my seat.
He came too much, dude.
He came out too hard, too fast.
Everyone's like, all right, this gay guy
is making some pretty good tunes.
And then he's just like, he goes, hey, Method Man,
you like my pussy?
And he's like, showing him his dick, probably.
He's like, that's not a pussy, son.
That makes me think, oh, I don't like it. Yeah, Pearl's a too gay. Yo, I don't like it. probably it's like that's not a pussy son
yeah pearls are too gay I don't like it put it away pearls are too gay pearls are
too gay pearls when you wear pearls pearls is gay if you're a lady yeah you
have to be an old old lady for that Christy do me a favor get this grotesque
ass off the screen please it's not yuck I think Harry Styles was wearing pearls too
yeah absolutely he was yeah that's another one there. He's like his David Bowie
It's been done the crossover glam things been done. And now if you do it, it looked like you just look gay
Harry Styles doesn't look like he's taking a fat
I didn't think David Bowie and the people who do these things look gay
No, and then Manson did sort of a thing, but he's kinda, it was like the gothy, glam thing was the idea, and it was also a character.
True, like Harry Styles being like,
no, no, I'm a guy, I'll wear pearls and a skirt, like why?
You look foolish.
He looks foolish.
Of course you're gorgeously handsome,
you look like a buffoon.
Yeah, Rod Stewart. And a gay old lady.
Rod Stewart looked gay.
Yeah.
When he started wearing the little spandex
and the girl shirts.
Why's he gotta dress like, what's her face,
that old British cook, the old British cooking woman.
Julia Child.
Julia Child, yeah.
He's a fucking idiot.
I was like, today I'm going to ride
another hit song. Oh God.
He stinks.
Look at that dumb fucking assistant principal fucking shirt.
Let me tell you the look I'm looking into Christine's eyes
and seeing, she goes, I'd suck his cock off
with those pearls dangling around his neck.
Why, you like that, Christine?
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
He's making, as I'm saying, the points being made
is that he's so handsome, girls are gonna get past that,
but he doesn't look good in them.
You're fucking him despite those pearls,
and that's what he's challenging you to do,
and I like it.
What are you gonna do, blow him and then borrow his heels?
Mm-hmm.
He dresses like Max's tutor.
Who's an old British lady.
Yeah, with those fucking Mary Poppins.
Oh, God.
It's infuriating.
He looks like a young Gavin Rosedale in that picture.
Pete got jerked into it when he was in that Kardashian world.
He got yanked right in the throat on a skirt for a...
Did he wear a skirt?
Oh, yeah.
He looks like a doofus.
Yeah, somehow David Bowie was not gay to me.
Well, I never saw David Bowie wear skirts,
but he would do the whole...
But again, also David Bowie, the same thing.
Artist doing a character.
This isn't Harry Styles doing a character.
This is Harry Styles saying, I'm so fashionable.
I can wear anything.
I'm wearing pearls because everything's ambiguous now.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad Pete's back to hoodies.
I somehow feel like it would be weirder to see Harry Styles
in an Earl Acker jersey.
You know what I mean?
You're not wrong.
Just saying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just wearing a fucking big tie.
I go, is that Harry Styles wearing a Tyreke Hill fucking chief's jersey?
That's even good.
It is.
Oh, I like the chiefs.
You know, they're a good team.
He's like, I'm a bear.
Look at him.
Look at him in a skirt.
He's really like, he's just cross-dressed a lot.
It's cross-dressing.
That's a blouse from the 1600s.
It's gay, dude.
Just kiss peckers.
He's not even wearing like dresses from now. No, that's a Pilouse from the 1600s. Yeah, really. Just kiss Peckers.
He's not even wearing dresses from now.
No, that's a Pilgrim woman.
Yeah, just fucking true.
He goes, hey, what do you want to wear on stage?
And he goes, I'm going to dress like a fucking sister wife.
Yeah, he's like, I'm going to get this from the Martha
Washington collection.
Martha Washington.
Oh, dude, he is utterly hateable.
I'll tell you, that's why I like Jerry Garcia. Sweatpants, fucking Velcro shoes.
Oh, fuck him too.
A Haynes beefy tee with cigarette burns.
I can't stand him.
There is some sort of thing.
I mean, try to look cool, but don't dress like a lady.
Yeah, Jerry Garcia sucked too.
I'm sorry.
No, don't even get me started.
I'm sorry.
Jerry Garcia had belly button sweat on great t-shirts.
Fucking stinks. Ah, dude, I bet every hair on his t-shirts. Fucking steaks.
Ah, will, dude, I bet every hair on his body smelled bad.
Oh, god, yeah.
The whole conch is smelly.
I think he smelled like Salisbury steak juice.
Oh, dude, his beard was just fucking gook.
Gross.
Fucking disgusting.
Oh, it just smelled like, fuck.
Heroin dust.
It smelled like when rain gets in an ashtray outside.
Ah!
Ah!
100%. Ah! you use a half a beer as an ashtray?
Wet ash.
Jerry Garcia probably never showered.
They don't shower, right?
They?
He wasn't a hippie.
The fans?
No, the fans don't, but he wasn't a fan.
Did you ever hook up with a-
Jerry Garcia? No.
No.
Wait, go back there.
Go back, go back.
Did I ever hook up with a girl?
Yeah.
Was it terrible?
The hooking up with a girl?
Like, was it the terrible part of her smelling?
I tried to hook up with a girl at Bonnaroo,
and she stopped me, and she's like,
dude, I stink right now, get the fuck away.
She's like, what's wrong with you?
And I was like, oh, I don't know,
I'm on a handful of Molly, and you're beautiful. And she's like, no, get away from me. She's like, what's wrong with you? And I was like, oh, I don't know, I'm on a handful of Molly and you're beautiful.
And she's like, no, get away from me.
It's not beautiful.
She goes, my pussy smells and looks like old sour cream.
It smelled like a 20 minute jam.
Yeah.
Smells like snake shit.
Snake shit.
Let me, let me take my problem right here too.
This is where how big famous this guy is
and how much Howard Stern is not
gonna take those shots anymore. Which whatever, he's friends with Harry Styles and stuff. But is and how much Howard Stern is not gonna take those shots anymore
Which whatever he's friends with Harry Styles and stuff, but this is on the Howard Stern. So he's dressed
He's dressed like strawberry shortcake. Yeah, he looks so ridiculous and so stupid in that outfit
And Howard Stern never mentioned it at all
I want to defend Howard Stern real quick on something though, which I thought was very funny
So after all that Dan Schneider shit happened,
you know, did you watch all the?
I watched it all.
The whole thing.
Fantastic.
It's great.
But the kid was at fault.
It was Drake's fault, you're right.
He was tempting everybody.
I'm gonna say this, let me tell you something.
Yeah, no Drake asked for it, sure.
Well he slept over the guy's house, right?
And you wake up in the middle of the night
and he's blowing you, apparently, right?
And you don't say no, you complete, you finish.
You know what I mean?
I mean, you should teach your kid,
hey man, say no, stop, run, get out.
He just let it happen.
He had to keep doing it.
He's like, he goes, he goes,
sorry man, I won't ever happen again.
And he goes, and then it just kept on happening. And every time he just goes, shit, he goes, sorry man, I won't ever happen again. And then it just kept on happening.
And every time he just goes, shit, next time,
it's not gonna happen again.
Exactly.
Next time it happens, it's gonna be the last time.
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me loving blowjobs from an old guy.
It seemed like the whole thing was
he would rather let it happen
than tell people it was happening. Wow. Well, I, he probably gave first of all, I probably gave great head
So in the middle of it like this is fantastic and all gay man. Yeah, they give the best head
I mean it goes it goes all gay men
Slutty fucking 20 year old girls
It's a rough thing to have to admit and it's terrible that happened and the guy should be in jail for the rest of his life
Quite honestly for doing that.
That said, you could do worse than that seasoned of a beege
being your first one.
I promise you, the first girl who blew Drake Bell,
he had to say in his head, he goes,
this isn't as good as Mr. Tim.
What is his name, Mr. Brian?
Yeah, this is not as good.
100% it wasn't as good.
And you know what, It never got good.
It never got better.
It never got better.
That's great.
Yeah, he said he was only born.
He goes, am I gay?
Because I really, that first blowjob,
while I hated everything surrounding it,
the actual suck felt great.
He did a good job.
He smelled like onions, but it came hard.
He went back to his house and slept over again.
Multiple times. But again, really the parents is the big thing too,
where it's just like any adult that would have been like,
Isabella probably needs to stay at my house
because I'm gonna teach her trombone in the morning.
Everything about that sentence
just says I'm coming to get my daughter right now.
I mean, you're fucking mine.
No, she's asleep over.
I used to have a bit.
Can I just say something real quick?
Sure.
If he booked the gig, if he sucked his dick and the next day booked the gig, I can understand
having some type of, hey man, last time I did this I got the gig.
But he didn't even get the gig.
He had that happen, then he went back and has dick sucked again.
If it was some type of like-
Oh, he's buying himself seasons.
Each sucks a 10 episode guarantee.
Each load.
But he's not even the fucking producer.
He's the dialogue coach.
He's just helping you with lines.
I was getting...
How about...
Listen, if it's gay guys, keep them away.
It has to be straight white men coaching young boys to do the thing do
you know I mean yeah or or a straight guy coaching a gay kid or whatever and
women teaching women gymnastics like the situation it always goes bad yeah every
gymnastics girl has some guy weird looking at her in her career or lifetime
like anyone who does it with any kind of years
Has some nightmare story, but the father same thing. What are you sending these these?
Me the father went up to the people this what blew me away was such a double standard
He went up to them and said hey, I'm nervous the way he's touching my son and they said
You get he's gay and you're probably homophobic. Gay guys are touchy feely.
It's like, no, no, no, no.
So then he got all fucking fucked up
because like, oh, I don't want to be homophobic.
But the guy was fucking his kid.
I mean, it's like he had a father instinct,
like, hey man, what's, and they were like,
no, he's just gay.
Gay guys, they give that vibe,
like they're gonna fuck a kid, but they.
Also Drake Bell. and I feel.
That's on you.
That's why I'm not having kids,
so I can be outwardly homophobic whenever I want.
Also Drake Bell, who, I mean, fucking,
you gotta feel terrible for it.
Terrible.
What a fucking awful, awful situation.
I mean, a fucking total nightmare,
but he, keep getting tricked into going back to the well is fucking insane
to have that keep happening.
But he did leave too much of an open-ended thing.
At one point when he goes, there was sexual abuse,
and he goes, and I don't wanna say it,
but like the worst thing you could possibly imagine.
And you can't just say that to,
there's too many me-minded people out there.
You're like, he shit in your mouth
and then fucked the shit in your mouth
until it came down your throat,
and then he made you catch it out,
and then when you shit out his cum and stuff,
he made you eat it again with the cum and the shit.
And he goes, he fucked my ass.
He goes, oh, oh, that wasn't his band.
Don't tell me the worst thing I could think of,
because I could think of terrible things.
I was like, he shit in your ass
and then fucked the shit in your ass?
Yeah.
He made a shit pussy.
He just fucked his ass normal.
He goes, oh.
Oh, okay.
Then that's.
You know what, you should have said that,
you should have started with that
and I would have been like, that's a fucking nightmare,
but thank God you're not getting shit stuffed
in your mouth and ass and fucked
and then you have to eat the cum shit.
Thank God, not that.
So don't leave it up, just tell your story, dude,
because you left me, I thought something terrible
was happening.
Something terrible.
Yeah.
You let me set the bar too high.
You gotta tell me the bar.
And then I go, that is terrible.
But getting butt-fucked by your dialogue coach is awful.
Not as terrible as eating shit cum.
Not as bad as having to eat your own shit cum
after a guy fucked your shit mouth and shit ass.
He made a shit pussy in your mouth and fucked it.
And then shit in your ass.
I've been listening to a couple different things
of this girl who I believe was in the show,
Alexis something, Christine, look her up,
she was in the second run of All That or something.
She's married with kids now and she does a podcast,
I don't know what it's called,
one time they had a song, it was called Cicol odian, which I thought was a great title by the way
sickle odian, but she
Now that that thing came out
She's kind of some of her stuff's popping of her talking about it and like responding to the whole thing and saying like, you know
Dan Schneider doing interviews afterwards where he's like sorry about that
She's like he's not even talking about like the worst stuff. Like, because he really by comparison
made it look like Dan Schneider.
Oh that guy was just kind of like a crappy guy at work.
I mean everybody else was fucking kids
and molesting everybody so like.
They should have opened with Schneider
and closed with the guy who was shitting
in the guy's ass made him meet the shit come.
And then having his own shit come
which is a nightmare.
They should have closed with him.
That's like a terduckin' of abuse.
By the time you got to Dan Schneider,
it was like, he was just a little,
kind of a misogynistic piece of shit,
and let the kids do weird shit on set.
He didn't touch anybody.
No, no, and now we all, that's not,
we don't know that for sure.
That's nothing that's ever come up.
Anybody who he would have touched, I believe,
or molested, it would have been a thing.
But that Janet McCurdy girl wrote a book
where she refers to him a bunch.
He sucks.
The guy's terrible.
You know what I mean?
He's a fucking piece of shit for sure.
Inarguable.
But the girl, yeah, there is Alexa Nicholas.
So she's been doing all these shows,
and there's, you could probably,
if you bring up her YouTube
Thing I'll show you which videos it's like the last three minutes of her last video going through You know, it's like we got to get all these guys out of here. And so we all these people she's like
I'm gonna do a dive pretty soon Jared Leto
I heard Jared lead up letter like has a cult and he has and what's that and she's like yelling things out that maybe
True, maybe not but he's like he's got island, like oh, there we go, the island,
and he does a festival for his fans,
but only the girls on his island?
Is that a real thing?
And I'm like, first of all, it's hilarious if he does that.
Second of all, if you're dumb enough to go, you go.
And then we have to expose him.
But to me, she goes like this, she goes, and who else?
Howard Stern's name comes up.
I thought this was so fucked up, this girl.
His name comes up and she goes,
she goes, Howard Stern too, like,
did he ever have, like, a thing?
Did he ever have, like, a Me Too?
She's like, that guy's got, like,
Me Too, like, written all over him.
Like, I think he's, like, made some amends and stuff
as he's gotten older and said, took some accountability,
but, like, that guy, like, I'd be surprised.
I don't think there's ever been any accusations,
but Howard Stern, just to say something like that, he looks like he has Me Too written all over him. It's like, well, now you're being the fucking piece of shit.
You know what I mean?
You're being like as shitty a person as anyone can be.
Howard Stern, he's probably a Me Too guy.
What a weird thing to throw out there in the world.
It's terrible.
But it wasn't like okay,
but it was kind of the way we were in the 90s,
80s and 90s, you know what I mean?
Early 2000s.
It was, I turned on America's, what's that movie?
Last American Virgin, just in the scene
where the dude's about to fucking just blow loads
in this chick and she's what, 15?
And that was a-
American Graffiti too.
That was like a popular, I literally had to shut it off.
Like if I didn't have Max, I'd 100% watch that
and rewind it and watch it again.
Of course.
But back then, that's the music, man.
Jesus Christ, man.
Just rape music.
You let that play on, Lou.
Come on, man. That's terrible.
So many movies don't...
They would never get made now.
Yeah, you can't.
So I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough.
That's because he came three seconds in,
and then he was like, I gotta go.
Should have jerked off before I picked you up.
I feel like there have been changes.
Break to be strangers.
One for me, head on out the door. I I'm gonna bring it home big Lou.
Just once, can we figure out what we keep doing wrong?
Why the good time of life for very long?
Oh there he comes yeah we do that's when Dan
Natheman type of dude was the fucking the lead guy just yeah can I do it can we
find a way to finally make it right can I do it oh make the magic last for more
than just one day what he's kind of hotter than her by the way. I know I mean he's smoking yeah
Is he the asshole guy from Goonies? He is who wait no Troy hot is he Troy from now?
Look at him look at his lips. Oh my god
That's Troy it all ends once you ride up Troy's bucket played a lot of shitheads in the 80s
That's what I mean they used a lot of the guy,
it was Zabka, the guy of Johnny from
Fast Times at Ridgemont High, another scene
when that was the one I was, when he
Banging out
Banging out that girl
Jennifer Jason Lin
Yeah, she got banged out twice.
Remember in American Graffiti
I judge her
In the dugout, remember?
All right, Christine, Jacob's gonna start whacking off. I mean, all right yeah Jacob's gonna start whacking off I mean yeah we're all gonna start whacking
off but you can't make that movie now oh yeah you have to but to go back I just
thought that was such a weird to go back to that page of her stuff but you can
make that documentary now. Hahaha. Hahaha.
It's ridiculous man. It's a long episode.
Dan Schneider, he looks like a guy who likes kids.
That's the problem with him, he looks like he touch kids.
You know what I mean?
I don't know if you can find it.
He looks clammy.
He looks clammy.
It's in my history on YouTube.
He looks clammy.
He does look like he's always wet.
Yeah, he's got wet hands constantly.
This is you, Christine, I think.
Oh my god.
Jacob, honey?
But yeah, it's kind of shitty.
I think it's weird to start throwing at you.
It's like crazy shit.
It's fucking dumb.
By the way, that said, also many years ago on this show,
I think Christopher Cross, the Yacht Rock guy,
got some shit with some pedophilia.
And then people were like, no?
And I was like, I'm pretty sure.
And we looked it up, and like, not even sort of
an accusation ever in his history.
So I guess I did the same thing.
We should stop spreading rumors.
I've never been more mad at you.
Nasty rumors.
We should have been more mad at you about that.
Don't ruin Christopher Cross for me, please.
Didn't Dan?
Messaged.
Yeah, somebody messaged me,
Christopher Cross has never been,
I was like, I should say that on the air then.
Let people know, he has never ever
even been looked at sideways as a pedophile.
I put it out there in the world.
Dudley Moore, I think.
That guy definitely was all on the kid pussy.
To Goldie Hawn's daughter as a kid,
I mean, on the set of whatever the fuck movie that was.
You know what's so weird?
I mean, Harry Styles outfits, I'm looking at here again,
something happened to him.
Someone touched his little tuchus.
There was a documentary that Scorsese made
about Bob Dylan called The Rolling Thunder Review,
and Sharon Stone at 15 or 16 was hanging out
on tour with Dylan.
That doesn't blow.
Not that Dylan did anything,
but her mom was a Dylan fan, and then they came,
and she was wearing a Kiss shirt,
and he's like, you like those guys, or whatever?
And then she just started, like, got invited
to hang out backstage at all these shows.
So I think there was just weird shit going on constantly,
whether it was touching or not.
I'm telling you, it was an interesting-
So you're saying that Bob Dylan molested you?
No, I didn't say that, you did.
That's what you're saying.
No, here's the thing, also-
I just hung out with a 15-year-old chair in Stone.
You can only use the
the times have changed for so many things for so long though. Do you know what I mean? Right.
Because the times have been changed for us to almost a point what he's saying like these things
like we were talking when we had Bennington on last week Ronnie B when we were saying about it
he's interviewed Sweet Sweet Connie from the We're An American Band and I've heard them those girls
and they tell the stories, not with like,
even as older women with perspective now,
they're all like, nah, we were 15, we fuckin',
we were 15, we ran in, we were backstage
with the Allman Brothers.
And the one girl, I forget which one it was,
essentially described as being gang banged
by four guys or five guys in the Allman Brothers.
Like, she's like, I fucked them all.
I kinda went through them all. And here's the in the almond. Like, she's like, I fucked them all. I kinda went through them all.
And here's the thing, she's 15, she's saying,
but she's not looking back at,
the whole thing's fucked up.
We realize very much now, and also as an adult myself,
and having a daughter, you're like,
Christ Almighty, how does that happen to someone 15?
But they're not reflecting on it in a thing,
and no one's really going backwards even to say,
almond brothers, you pedophile pieces.
Nothing they shouldn't or should, I don't know.
I was talking to somebody yesterday about,
I used to, at 15, I remember asking the stewardess
on a plane for a light.
I mean, I lit up a Marlboro.
Yeah, you're right.
Things were different.
On the plane, she was like, okay, got me a light,
I lit my cigarette at 15, heading back to Boston
from Rochester to go to Juve Hall.
I mean, you could smoke a 50, I used to go buy cigarettes.
I know. I mean, we kind of progressed with time.
You know, back then we didn't know,
maybe you shouldn't fuck a 15 year old.
Right. Back then.
Maybe you shouldn't, and then they put a law in,
you can't 16 or 17.
We've been adding laws.
Bobby, don't laugh at the laws.
I'm not laughing at the laws.
They say 16 or 17.
What a bunch of idiots. Have you ever heard of, you know the guy Carmine? These people are fucking crazy. Bobby don't laugh at the laws. I'm not laughing
You know the guy car mine these people fucking crazy, you know that guy car mine apathy, you know that drummer Yeah
He wrote a book that was like my life of sex drums and rock and roll and it's all stories about like backstage fucking
Shenanigans and all about like the fucking groupies and all crap. You'd have to go back and take out every band
before 1999.
I mean, why'd you do?
Why were you in the 70s?
But when the standard gets set though,
there's something to like abiding that
and it becoming the norm.
So exactly, we do realize now, yes,
everyone that was getting older probably realized at the time,
it's like, it is weird to fuck a 15-year-old,
but I didn't think it was that weird
when I was 27 or something. Right, right. And then you go the time, it's like, it is weird to fuck a 15 year old, but I didn't think it was that weird
when I was 27 or something.
Do you know what I mean?
And then you go, nah, it's even weird for 27
to fuck a 15 year old.
And I'm saying they can look back
and even probably say,
I'm sure those guys go like,
damn, that is weird, huh?
Those girls were 15, 16, holy shit.
Like to hear that now, because they know.
So my point being is like,
going at these kids on Nickelodeon,
like you can't do like,
the energy of just going,
it's like, well dude, it was like the 90s.
Like no one, they knew by the 90s.
Like by the 90s.
That's what I'm saying.
It would be like your parents saying to you now,
like, no, no, no, I understand he's your friend
and we like him,
but we just won't let Black Lou in the house.
You can't say it's the times.
Like the times are well past that.
You know what I mean?
Like, just agreeing that black people are here,
but I'm not gonna let them in my house.
You can't go, well I haven't caught up to the times.
Those times are 90 years ago now.
Yeah.
That's your excuse for everything?
Well it's the times.
Well the times were different then.
It was the fucking 90s.
You couldn't not let black people in your house in the 90s.
You weirdo.
It was last week, you idiot.
It was actually 2017 when we realized that.
We were at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,
and we were walking through, and literally almost every fucking
who's the Big Boppers fucking piano member?
Oh, not Big Bopper.
Jerry Lee Lewis.
Jerry Lee Lewis.
And married his fucking, like, what, 12-year-old cousin
or some shit?
13.
They, they,
it was the times.
They still will celebrate all of those things
because you just go, oh, it was a different time.
It was a different time.
It's like Elvis was, even way earlier than that,
no one, I remember the news being like,
oh, what, it was like Jerry Seinfeld,
17 year old child bride, and I was like, titties don't look 17, I'm fine with it.
I never over thought it, I'm like,
and then now at 46 I'm like, Seinfeld,
what the fuck are you doing?
He was like, my age dating a seventh, that's crazy.
Yeah, well the tits were nice though, Jay.
Those tits were.
Times were different.
Big fucking Masad tits, dude, big Israelis.
Those are 32 year old lady tits she had at 17.
You could go down with it.
She really did.
You should actually jump by the body.
Oh, God.
Gagunga.
Yeah, those, come on.
Damn, she had a face like a catcher's mitt, though.
You know what?
I didn't even see her face.
Look at her.
Her smile goes through her fucking eardrums.
I mean, that wasn't that long.
When was this, like, 98?
Shoshana?
It was late 90s. This is gonna, this is gonna expose Jerry,
he's gonna be in trouble now,
because this is happening.
Oh, and this has come up a thousand times,
that's almost my point.
Nobody cares.
It wasn't, he didn't hide it.
He's also got so much money, it doesn't matter.
He opened up to it in the world where he's like,
I'll have people talk for a little bit,
then they'll get over it,
because they would, like, this situation now,
which I believe, unfortunately,
as a father of a daughter, is completely legal in New York particularly.
She was 17, I think 17.
So it's completely legal.
Do you know what Jay knows all the age limits
in every state?
He's like, except for Rockland County, it's 18.
Connecticut, it's 16 with parents.
I'll tell you exactly why I know the New York one.
When I was like 23, a girl came to Caroline's.
And I mean, from two minutes of meeting her,
we went in the green room.
And fuck, she actually looked a little beat up.
I thought she was going to be a young 20s,
but living in a friend's house or something.
Cute girl. And then when she told me, when I said my age, you know, living in a friend's house or something. Right. Cute girl.
And then when she told me, when I said my age, like 23,
she was like, oh, me too.
And then we ended up hooking up.
And then she goes, as soon as we finish, she goes,
can I tell you something?
Can I be honest with you?
I was like, what?
And she was like, I'm actually 17.
And then I was like, what?
And she said it.
She didn't say it in a tone of like, and now you're fucked, because nothing came of it.
I wasn't fucked.
But I was just like, yo, that's like fucking,
you know, I'm like 23, so I'm like, am I a pedophile?
I was like, I don't, and like.
She actually looks at a watch, she goes,
I'm 17 right now.
Right now I'm 17, you just made it.
And she blew out a candle.
You just blew, and blew you a load.
But if she would've told me she was 17 even at 23 I would have been like, ah.
Just count down.
Three, two.
That's also just shitty for lying.
I mean like what an asshole.
No I know.
It's also to spring it right afterwards like, oh guess what though.
That's not one of the commandments.
It was said that you are doing something kind of crazy.
There's not a commandment on fucking a young person.
That's not a commandment.
No, you're right, because in those times...
It was a fine.
Literally, yeah, because they were dead
by the time they were fucking legal.
Yes, it's the dog years.
Dog years.
Yeah.
Go right there.
Let me see if I can find this, Bobby, really quick.
Is my wife Cerberus?
Good word.
Yeah, it's a dog.
Wow.
Thank you.
Click this. This is that girl, Alexis, or Alexa Nicholas.
Sissy, if I ever heard of this power.
And by the way, I agree with a bunch of stuff.
What is this video?
People are taking it too easy.
What is this, what is this?
This is her saying Josh Peck is not a good guy,
who's the guy who was Drake's partner on the show.
She's saying he's not a good guy.
The fat kid.
She also goes into, I mean, again.
Is it the fat kid?
It was, he was fat, yeah. He was fat, now he's not fat.
Now he's not fat.
She takes a couple weird shots.
She's, Steve-O did an interview with one of them
or something and she's like,
and Steve-O, he can never live this down.
He couldn't apologize enough for this.
He used to have a tattoo.
He got it changed.
He got it covered up and changed to an ostrich or something.
But it was like just a cartoon of a dude
with his wiener out and a baby on the end of his wiener.
Exactly.
I realize it did.
That's great, yeah.
But she's talking about it with such.
If you go for tattoos, that's pretty fucking weird.
Yeah, you're gonna find that on a wall.
It's like, oh, let me get mom and a dude
with a baby on his wiener.
No, it's to it, listen. Let me get mom and the dude with a baby on his finger. No, it's hilarious.
Listen.
Let me get the Japanese symbol that
means destiny, life, and faith, and then the baby
sucking the guy's car.
The problem with a girl like this,
and whatever's happened to her, I'm sure,
has a lot to do with this.
You should get that tattoo at Skank Fest this year.
Absolutely.
My point is, if I was getting a funny tattoo,
I wouldn't rule out baby on the tip of a guy's dick
It's a drawing. It's ridiculous. It was like so can you find the
The tattoo, please don't it's like a cartoonish Lee big boner too, right?
Is it I'm saying it's like it's like a cartoon
She goes at and I this is why I said this girl this woman's become maybe from her circumstance or just personality is is probably
this girl, this woman's become, maybe from her circumstances or just personality,
is probably intolerable to be around.
Because she goes too much at everything.
It's like this, he should have to do a shame walk.
He should get it removed.
He should have to go through the pain of having it removed
to show penance for what he did to get that tattoo.
And you're like, lady, he got it covered up,
which even I think is like,
I don't even think he has to do that really,
but like, you know, he's got a girlfriend,
when he gets married, he's 50. You know what I mean? Like, I guess't even think he has to do that really, but like, you know, he's got a girlfriend and when he gets married, he's 50.
You know what I mean?
Like, I guess I get why you gotta cover it up.
I got tattoos covered up.
Why does she have Velma from Scooby Doo on the back?
Did she molest somebody?
What does that say?
She's taking the mask off.
That's when they would go,
I knew it was you kids or something like that.
I mean, it looked like they're all-
I would've got away with it if it wasn't for you kids.
They're all protest thing.
That's what I'm saying.
It's her whole thing's become this.
But then when she just starts throwing wild,
like just what, is there, please bring it, so funny.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
I mean, it's fucking face.
The guy's cranking his own nip.
Can I say something?
No, that's a little different than I thought.
It's actually him fucking a baby,
and you can't see the dick, right?
Nothing wrong with that.
No, you do see part of the dick.
Yeah, but most of it's in the baby,
which is a little more disturbing than you described.
But it's ridiculous.
I mean, look at him.
How did he get an ostrich over that?
He's young and high.
Yeah, he's definitely out of his tree.
I wouldn't recommend the tattoo.
I'm just saying, he's holding him over the co. I wouldn't recommend the tattoo, I'm just saying,
he's holding him over the coals for it like
you're laughing at pedophilia.
He goes, no, it's just a hilarious picture.
It's a stupid picture.
Oh, now he's got it covered to Guy fucking an ostrich.
Which is bad.
So now PETA's like, wait a minute.
We can't accept ostrich fuckers.
By the way, exactly.
The fact that somebody would go, that's fine it's like no
you're either gonna be angry across the board of this nonsense or just go it's a
dumb fucking tattoo I promise you Steve-O's not pro I would have got a
tattoo of me fucking that woman that would have been funny he should have got the
ostrich fucking him him fucking the baby yeah and then the baby fucking
somebody else an ostrich and then somebody shitting in an ass and then him eating it.
It's a tribal band.
Get a tribal band.
And then come in the ass with the shit come.
And then back, carry the four.
Carry the four.
No wait, it's got to be your bull.
It's got to be your bull.
Go to that video.
I want to see if we can catch the thing where Stern just
catches unnecessary shrapnel.
Jesus. I wanted to call the show today. Would you hear this? This is crazy
Women do not owe men anything. I cannot say that enough
Houses foods roads electricity
We did a lot of stuff. We did plenty
Podcasting we created pocket one wars so you can have your tits out at a beach.
Micro music.
The guy who does your videos.
Yeah, your complete tech guy.
Yeah, exactly.
The guy who started a printing press
to make these stupid posters behind you.
The guy that made the microphone you're using right now.
The inventor of ink.
You don't need all the stuff behind you.
Your favorite fashion icons.
The house you're in right now.
It wasn't a gaggle of women building that house.
Yeah, the reason that house isn't gonna fucking,
the roof's not gonna cave in on your head constantly.
Yeah.
It's because a man hammered those nails.
All the stuff you put on your face.
Yeah.
The people who keep you alive if you need it.
The person you hope is doing CPR come that necessary need.
The doctor.
The Christ Almighty, the doctor.
The guy that invented insurance that pays for it.
The guy who flew your guests in.
So hey, I'm gonna take out your heart
and put another heart in.
It's gonna go great.
It's gonna go great.
Thanks girls, come on girls.
We don't need them for anything.
Who fucking-
I need them for most things that I use in my daily life.
What do I do?
You cut all the plugs that are around the heart
and then you put the new heart in.
Plug them back in.
Yeah, and put it with a lady heart.
Post-surgery mimosas.
I tell you something, you can hand a fucking female
nuclear physicist a fucking remote control and tell her to
get to from the one input to another. Tell her to turn this put this from the
video games to the to the regular TV and a nuclear physicist that's a female
will stare at that for eight hours never figured out so those things. Hand her a remote control and be like,
hey, get from input one to input two.
I'll give you 17 hours.
Yeah, next time you need to open your avocado mayonnaise,
see if you can ask one of your girlfriends to open it.
Avocado mayonnaise?
Yeah, we don't need those for anything.
Shuffle your own driveway.
I'd like to see you with seven bags of groceries get from the car.
Yeah.
13 trips for you, honey.
Yes, yes, exactly.
Have fun getting on a fucking ladder to put cereal away.
Yeah.
Have fun.
Your dog not listening to anything you say.
Good luck having a dog never respect a command in his life. Give us a little more of this.
I know you'll hear Stern thing.
Just, you know, and no one owes anyone anything.
Anything.
I'm thinking about looking into Jared Leto.
Jared Leto is where he starts bagging on people.
The guy just always, he gives me the good guys.
Like he's like the third wheel
for Josh Peck's fucking podcast.
Just taking a shot.
There's something, I don't know,
and I've heard he had a cult or something,
I don't know, something weird about Jared Leto.
Very, very curious about maybe starting to dive into that.
I've just heard and seen some of his things.
Look out Jared Leto, you're on her shit list.
He's never given me a good vibe. And wasn't there, on H3, they were playing Jared Leto, you're on her shit list. Jared Leto. Never given me a good vibe.
And wasn't there, on H3, they were playing Jared Leto
like climbing a building?
What a weird thing to be upset with.
Do you remember that play?
Well you know that one.
Buildings don't owe anyone anything.
It's like Jared Leto out of fucking weird.
What did the building do to him?
What did the building do to Jared Leto?
Did the building ask him to climb it?
No.
Oh I barely remember seeing that video.
He casually slanders.
Yeah.
Yeah, watch this one.
He literally almost climbs the entire building.
And for no reason, right?
For no reason.
For no reason.
Because he's weird as fuck.
For no reason.
Dude, Jared Leto is fucking weird.
By the way, fuck Jared Leto, but I mean like,
Jesus Christ.
Who cares?
The great one song.
Oh, and also, who's, oh, and remember Howard Stern?
Ugh, look at that.
That shit, I forgot.
That, I mean, I feel like he's apparently
trying to take some type of accountability.
I did hear that, but he has, has he?
Someone told me he wrote a book,
and he like started
to realize the deep, you know, unpacking a lot of his shit.
But God was that show so bad.
Has Howard Stern had any allegations against him?
Like that's how you know, you know, believe survivors
because like Howard Stern,
I've never heard him have any allegations.
And that guy, you, literally he looks to me like a walking me too.
In the sense where I'm surprised
that he wasn't the first person to have an allegation.
I'm surprised he wasn't the first person
to have the allegations.
Perez Hilton.
He has the face of a me too guy.
Yeah, he looks like.
What a fucking, what a rag cunt.
Based on nothing, he doesn't like the way he looks.
Based on nothing.
Everybody in this room has a me too face. Based on nothing. He doesn't like the way he looks. Based on nothing. Everybody in this room has a Me Too face.
That's wild.
There's different levels of Me Too face right here.
He looks like the first guy who would have got Me Too'd.
Ah, that guy.
I heard he's nice now, but ah, piece of shit.
She's like, what about the time to make the donuts guy?
Ever see that asshole?
That guy looks like he definitely smells panties.
Yeah, like I probably blew a donut that didn't ask for it.
Wait, what about the Micro Machine guy?
That's wack.
Isn't that wacky?
You don't just, that's such a responsibility.
Yeah, but it's her, she found her thing
that gets people riled up.
Does she have a Patreon?
And now she's, and people in the chat
seem to be bringing these people up.
But she's making, the energy she gives off
is that I'm charging for the side of good right here.
But she's actually like, you're charging for,
so I'm listening to these things,
I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt on these,
that she has an opinion, she knows these people,
a lot of them, and she's talking about their responses
since and all that kind of shit
It's interesting watch your stuff. I mean plugger. Thank you Alexa Nicholas. I think let me tell you
Big Jim this I mean she she would she would Big Jim would talk to her. She'd quit the business. Oh
Stuff she's saying now one one conversation with Big Jim after this that'd be the end of that show
saying now one one conversation with Big Jim after this that'd be the end of that show you just can't keep bagging on every no but here's the thing something
about Mike Fanoia banging kids or something yeah yeah she will lay it out
like that because black Lou goes you raped a girl and got away with in high
school right no I don't know why what am I thinking of then? Didn't I hear about Jacob having kid bones in his trunk?
Isn't Jacob sleeping in a little boy's room right now?
Don't you have an animal made out of baby bones
in your room?
Wait, correct me if I'm wrong,
everybody out there in the world,
but Jacob definitely fucks kids, right?
I heard that somewhere, I don't remember at a party
or if it was something I made up,
but I heard that Jacob, I don't remember at a party or if it was something I made up, but I heard that Jacob definitely fucked kids.
I'm gonna do a deeper dive on it
and see what I can find, see what I can dig up.
Didn't he want to?
I heard the only way he can come is with Legos around.
Yeah. Right, isn't it?
Doesn't he have to do a puzzle?
Yeah, he has to do like, make a Lego ship
with some type of Star Wars figurine.
And then they just shrug you off where they go like,
well, hurt people hurt people.
What?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
you can't.
How would Star, he definitely fingered one of his employees
or made them do suck his dick or something.
I don't know.
That's just what I think, cause I looked at his face.
A walking, a walking me too.
What a horrible fucking thing to say.
She broke every big Jim rule there is.
Every Big Jim rule.
Wow.
He knows nothing about radio.
Well this is not slandered by saying
that lady seems intolerable.
By the way, unless I'm wrong,
and I might be wrong and I apologize if I am,
I'm pretty sure her problems with Nickelodeon,
like again, there's people over there getting butt fucked
and there's people over there having to like
lick their own toes and shit for people.
A lot of her stuff seems like,
and then he would be mean to me
and say I need you to act better
or I'm gonna find another person to play this role.
He would say things like that to me.
It's like, yeah, sounds like he was like a dick boss
to kids, but like, I mean, I don't know.
Like, you know, Drake, while that was happening to you,
Drake was biting onto a ball of twine to not scream
while the guy teaching him his lines
was fucking, had his dork up his cram.
Jake was biting a Liza Minnelli pillow
every other Wednesday.
Liza Minnelli huddle.
Do you know how uncomfortable
a sequined pillow is on your teeth
It hurts
You know how uncomfortable it is to get fucked in the ass while three shih tzu's are barking in your face?
And even if you tell yourself I'll just sink into the music you can't sink into Liberace while the guy's Liberace-ing you
Liberace-ing you? It's just too real
You can't enjoy Liberace while you're getting Liberace
right where the candelabra goes.
Liberace is a really crazy thing ever.
Liberace in the shit.
Poor Drake.
Oh, poor Drake.
Everyone else, he must have watched that documentary.
Like, one, why did they wait till episode three
if they weren't going to make it to the finale?
How is that not out of the gates? Drake got butt-fucked. How is that not story one?
The first thing was just like, Dan Schneider was on head of the class. Then
he started getting pretty mean and wanting massages. Yeah, he wanted massages from
middle-aged women. And then they jump and they're like, and then Drake got butt-fucked.
You know, holy shit. And the next episode they were like, and then Drake got butt fucked, and you're like, holy shit, and they go, and the next episode they were like,
and then, feet.
They were looking at everyone's feet.
He goes, nah dude, you gotta work feet, then butt fucked.
Yeah, it can't go massages, butt fucked,
and then a women funny, shut the fuck up.
I know, really.
But?
Women can do taxes too.
Yeah, he goes, they gave us two salaries,
and whatever, or one salary.
It's like, okay, fight for that.
Like, these things are not, they were like,
by the way, the one, they're glazing over,
when he came out, and he was like,
yeah, I said some embarrassing things,
I did some embarrassing stuff.
And the guy really didn't hold him over the coals at all.
Like, the first specific I would ask Dan Schneider goes,
did you really make that one girl writer
bend over the table and act like she's getting butt fucked
or fucked from behind while, remember he said that?
And then she was like, yeah, you know, that happened,
then I did it, I go, call me a fucking lunatic.
Lunatic.
You're playing along.
I don't think that came to a you're going to lose your job
if you don't do that.
I hate to say that on the thing.
I'm not saying this lady wasn't treated shitty or anything.
If you bend over and act in front of a room full of people
like you're getting butt fucked,
and your fears if you say no to that,
you're going to get fired. your fears of you say no to that, you're gonna get fired, like, it was like,
Todd Lynn used that excuse when they did the song
about the tsunami where people got killed on Hot 97,
I think it was, and he was like,
which is such a lie anyway, but he was like,
they came in and told us if we didn't do the bit,
that we'd be fired.
And I remember Patrice saying, he goes,
well then get fired.
Get fired.
If you don't believe in it, then get fired.
So it's like, she's like, I have a feeling
it was a room where it was like,
if you said to Christine, it wouldn't be crazy
if we were joking, you go, ah Christine,
like you're getting butt fucked, do you know what I mean?
Like I wouldn't be like, well Bobby's like cross,
and it's like, nah, we're kind of all kidding,
and that's like you're joking, and if she did,
I mean Christine, we can't even get Christine
to say simple lines, but if you were to get her
to read something like that while getting, but.
She said some pretty bad stuff on the show.
The question wouldn't, the question wouldn't start
an HR fucking dilemma because, not that she couldn't,
but it seems like the energy in that room
was that of such that you also did the thing.
You did it.
And it wasn't like, if these stories were,
he took me in his office and he was like,
you could suck my dick right now
or you could say goodbye to this job.
Like that's a fucking like, whoa,
and I know there's in between areas
because if that's not how they talk to each other,
him and that lady, then she should have been like,
fuck you dude, fuck you, dude.
Are you out of your mind?
Like, I'm gonna go, there is HR still higher up
at Nickelodeon, do you know what I mean?
Like, I'm gonna make this a thing,
or at least I'll become a millionaire.
Can you just go to the next office and go like,
hey, this dude just did this shit.
But even if it's your dream job, you know what I mean?
Like, if somebody said that, you know,
I'm gonna fuck you in the ass in front of you,
pretend to fuck you in the ass,
you could just say no.
And you'd be like, nah, I'm good.
You know what I mean?
Like if Jay was like, I wanna fuck you in the butt,
pretend to fuck you in the butt in front of everybody,
I'd be like, no.
I mean, inside I'd be like, yes.
Do you know why you always,
inside you'd be like, why are you doing this now
in front of everybody?
This was for snake pick tickets.
I wanted the snake pit.
Well you were only second tier good in the sack.
That's by the way, is that someone?
He's called Coney Sinton, styles in a jersey.
And he looks like an ass.
He does look like an ass.
And look at this, a guide to what's fake
in the Rolling Thunder Bob Dylan story.
A teenage Sharon Stone wasn't on tour.
Kiss didn't inspire the makeup.
And a whole bunch of other things.
It was made up for the fucking documentary.
Somebody just tweeted at me and said...
You can't believe anything.
I mean, but it's a Scorsese documentary about Bob Dylan and Sharon Stone.
That's pretty nutty.
And now they're like, oh, it was made up for the documentary. That's nuts.
It's everything's fucked.
You can't believe anything.
Yeah, it's really bonkers, dude.
You can't believe anything.
So Harry Styles is a pack.
Yeah, fudge packers.
Oh!
Agagagagagooosh!
So he's got a fudge.
Well, the guy's got a Green Bay and a Cowboy star.
So this guy's definitely, I guess his ex-boyfriend was a Cowboys fan,
his new boyfriend's just a Packers fan.
Look at you, he's got the big old fist and fist on too.
Christine, why don't you have a Sixers or an Eagles tattoo yet?
Wow.
Why don't you?
Oh.
I'm going to.
When?
Do it.
I don't know.
Mm.
What tattoo would you have to get for as a Christine
to support Christine's likes? What would it be fucking so the word sublime
Weird tree with a crow in it or something. Yeah, dream catcher something macabre. Yeah a
Dream catcher some type of smoke coming off of a rock
Oh, we have to take a break but here's the good news everybody no reads everything. Okay over there Lou
Yes, the whole channel why nobody has reads today. No one on the whole channel. No, Lou
Is that a lie? No, I swear to you. No all week to well no reads all week. That's right. Really?
I tell you why we're getting fired. I tell you what we got.
Hey, Tex Jim.
We did get.
What?
We got our bricks.
We did get our bricks.
We had a great night at Paramount.
Great news.
Mike was there.
Turns out you don't have to sell it out to get the bricks.
You guys are awesome.
You have to sell more than 100.
What a fun night.
We had a great night.
Fantastic night.
We'll talk about it when we come back.
Yes, we will everybody.
RobertKellyLive.com for all those dates.
Riot Comedy Fest in Houston, Thursday, April 4th.
Mothership in Austin, Texas.
And LOL in San Antonio, April 11th through the 13th.
Lafayette, Boston, Sarasota, all on deck
for tickets and tour dates again.
RobertKellyLive.com.
Mike Fennoy is gonna be at Vermont Comedy Club
this weekend, everybody.
Thursday through Saturday for tickets and all tour dates
from Mike, go to MikeFanoia.com.
I'm in Vegas this weekend.
Big Jay, you're in Vegas at Wise Guys,
brand new club, awesome club.
Yeah, the new one, yeah.
Can't wait, you're gonna be there this weekend
and then you're gonna be in Jacksonville,
Virginia Beach and San Diego.
Mikey's gonna be with me in San Diego.
Can't wait.
What club is San Diego?
American Comedy Club.
Nice, all right, great.
I love that, bro.
With the secret wall.
Yeah, so cool.
For tickets and all of the tour dates, go to BigJayComedy.com and check out American Comedy Club. Nice. I love that room. With the secret wall. Yeah, so cool.
For tickets and all of the tour dates go to BigJComedy.com and check out his special on
YouTube right now, Dog Belly.
Hey everybody, thanks for listening.
That was just a portion of our actual SiriusXM radio show.
If you want the whole thing, go to SiriusXM.com slash bonfire for a special offer.
That's right.
And go to BigJComedy. and robert kelly live dot com to
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