The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Live From New York, It's The Bonfire! (w/ Joe Derosa)

Episode Date: September 23, 2019

Jay, Dan and Joe DeRosa discuss the firing of Shane Gillis from SNL. Jay gets a lesson in "White Girl Privilege" with Christine at the airport and after watching twerk video Dan and Jay try to decide whether or not they should get butt implants.

You're listening to Comedy Central! Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. O'Coursen. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM on Comedy Central Radio, SiriusXM95, or on demand on the SiriusXM app. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire, SXM. Hey, it's Black Lou and welcome to the Bond Fire's best of the week. Last week, the BONFIRE rejoiced as friend of the

show and fan favorite Shane Gillis was announced as the newest cast member on Saturday Night Live. But by Monday, it was announced that he was let go. Here, Jay, Dan, and Joe DeRosa give their opinions on the chain of events and the cancel culture of America. Joey DeRosa everybody, what's up Joe? Hey guys. Are you in a bubble bath? You sound so calm. Yeah, you relaxed. Did you have a bath bomb in there? I'm just mourning. I'm just mourning. Death comes in three.

Fucking okay, sick money and give us. I know. Yeah. What the good news is, the bull got stuck, but he's still alive. Yeah, the bull's still alive, but Jesus Yeah, I'd love to know I didn't get talked to you at all about this today What are your thoughts? So I'm a you know, I'm a big believer in I just might my steadfast role when it comes to jokes and to comedy

It's like it's either all got to be okay or none of it's okay. Right. Because once you start getting into the line is here, there's no way to define that for everybody. So, you know, look, fine, not like, don't like the general client. It matters the general client, but like the idea that it's a fireable offense, especially on a show that has had in recent years non-Asian actors do asian face and it's you know it's like come on guys this is but i mean it also to with this is this terrible uh...

it's just the car i mean it it the thing i find frightening about it forget about like a buddy and a guy like we've been job of that that all sucks what really scares me though the bigger picture it's frightening to me that we live in a time where people screaming on twitter is enough to get you fired that's very scary yeah we're talking about with our last night too and it's like you know when you really come down to a couple thousand people in the scheme of the world it's enough to get fired most of the middle of this country who don't like who watch SNL who don't give two

shits about social media yeah no idea yeah well he was he came and went it just speaks uh... we we talked about this we might have even talked actually we did talk about this on the show when the tell was in and i know we talked about privately and i know dan or i thought it's probably but it just speaks to me more to this to the truth This theory that's now be going more of a fact of like we need to as as people we need to mess comics We need to move away from the stuff these these outlets are not for us anymore Yeah, Twitter and that stuff is like yeah, it was it was like it was you're absolutely right

It was like Twitter used to be for comics trying to run jokes or be crazy, then podcasts were kind of like for comics to like, you get to learn more about your comic friend. We got better at talking. Buddy, one of these, I think the variety girl or somebody who said, I wish I remember her name. She said, she wishes she could make an app or they'd make some sort of a website

that would quickly transcribe podcasts and shows like that to comb through for hate speech. So that's so people wouldn't think that's a safe space to go say whatever the fuck you want. Where can you say whatever the fuck you want? Also my head was just going a little bit on a tangent there, but it was making me sort of internally laugh at the concept. Because I really genuinely believe, like how can you correlate hate speech to stand up comedy?

Most people I've met or come across in my life who are fucking hateful racists, like genuinely hateful racists are pretty serious people. And they're serious because they're about that shit all the time. Yeah, that's the mode there. Do you know what I mean? That's like their mode versus some of the... You've met strippers and we've met porn stars

that stay in that kind of sexy mode, where they're always sexy and they're just like, Yeah, be mean, you wanna come on ring tints? And then it's true, and fucking funny people tend to be funny most of this. I know, but I'm saying, I think you would never go to like, the member of the party in American History X, they all went to at the end, someone that yeah, this is Jeff and I gotta be honest

Dude, he's fucking hilarious. I mean race this stuff aside take all those he doesn't even talk about that super funny on stage He's just doesn't something else Give it a white supremacist doing comedy on stage and just doing other shit. Yeah, you guys watching celebrity family food I mean, I mean celebrity and quotes am I right guys guys oh man nothing worse than driving and you get something under your undersea you're swerving and you're like am i gonna give you a it's got a swastik attention on his face anyways uh... the jews control the media i gotta get out of here i'll be uh... i'll be here this Thursday through Saturday well that's the thing real most real racist people don't joke about racism

because they today take it very seriously. Yeah, they really feel like there's a race war coming. They're not like cool about it like, hey this is funny, I'm just going to throw it. Well, yeah. I always think that when I say that, you know, if there's the obvious joke, if like a young girl, and I, you know, always ask if anyone's banged a black guy, and she goes, yeah, there's the obvious thing I'm just going to go, I'm sorry about your dad or whatever the fucking obvious thing there is to say.

It's just like, guess what, someone who was genuinely racist would have such a visceral, like, yeah, I have bank black guys, where you go? What, get the fuck out of my face. You race trading pig. Dude, what's funny is, you are less than human. Well, I'll say what the show is hilarious, except for that weird little,

that weird little daliancy head. I'm definitely not gonna name names. I'm not gonna name names, but there is a very Liberal comedian that I know the bang to friend of mine a mutual friend and she then went on to fuck a black dude in Between him and her hooking up and he straight up got racist about it. He's like that's just Exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, exactly. You're talking about I was shocked to hear it But you know what else I didn't do, but then you see him but then you see him on social media and they're like take down these fucking racist It's like you're looking at one of the people that says that I haven't looked it up I'll be willing to look at no, but I'm saying No, yeah, yeah, the thing is this it's like I heard that exact same and i was shocked and and and on behalf of the you know somebody who

they doesn't think that they're a fucking racist i was i was a paul but i didn't go to the tale it's a total shit this set simons kid is a fucking little rat okay first off he is a bird palette the bird like i was okay you guys all that yeah any uh... we did it we did on the show we played it and it's actually pretty impressive we had we had to bald eagles flying to the side of the building It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette.

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It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's a bird palette. It's Black Blue again. The bonfire is not only about laughs. It's about learning. Tune in now as Christine Evans explains through real-life events how the best privilege you can have is white girl privilege. This is the power of white girl, it's just... It's overwhelming. It's incredibly powerful. It's overwhelming. Some say it's the most powerful. Black Blue is pumping his fists, so he pre-knows it. So me and Christine Chicago coming back from Chicago. Back to New York City We have our TSA pre-check go to the airport plenty of time But we're running I've started going to the airport a little bit later than I used to go

He get comfortable with a TSA pre-check. I'm comfortable with TSA pre-check enough that I don't need to give myself I have it where I'm like at the gate With like 30 minutes before they board. I walked on the plane. We would have been there earlier, except as we're going through security, they screen Christine's bag. TSA project. Yeah.

And she goes, it went, so they're going through it a little bit and they really can't figure out what the thing is. And they put it through again. Then they take it off again and they open up all the little things in a purse and then what do they pull out as Casuals all hell to Butterfly knives Christine already starts to melt down already starts to melt down. Christine? Oh my God.

Oh my God. Also, you're in a very respectful way. You do kind of look from Fatal. Like if you had that with the black hair, if you were like, oh, if you were a nimesex maybe. If you had a shirt where the thumbs are through the sleeves. Oh my God. Yeah.

They probably saw you in like, this bitch might be dangerous. Is it suicide squad? Yeah. Yeah. To put these things out. Now here's the thing with me. Did they flip them cool? They seem, no, I would have been great.

They seem so casual about it and cool. For a moment, they were almost treating it like they were just like half to like, is this what was going off and we have to run them through by themselves or something. Seem like they were gonna almost put them back in and like, oh, this is what was going off, okay. And then they were waiting there with them for a minute

and then she whispered to a guy to do something and Christine started getting like, is everything all right and they go, where's what's going on? Like we actually, these are illegal to have in Chicago, to even own. And so this is like the problem. So I guess we have to we are obliged to we have to

Call the Chicago police department at that moment. You're gone. I wouldn't do that if I Sir Sir before you finish that sentence I want to give you a warning Choose your next words very carefully. Where this goes is your decision. Just know that I'm ready to die today. I can't do it no more. Do you know what that means? It's a good day to die.

Now here's what happens. Christine is so overly worried about what my reaction is going to be to her should we miss our flight So funny. It's yeah, she really does fuel herself like she isn't abused girlfriend I mean that's like live in a basement eating Wendy's for eight years. Oh, yeah interpreting it that way I was terrified. I was gonna lose my TSA pre-check That happens it wasn't like whatever it was whatever it was whatever to go back to the back to the normies I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. great thing and by the way everyone is you should sign up if you travel you went to Chicago to rob places at knife point everyone knows your cat murderer blades Evans you put on your entrapment alpha one piece cat suit and you cartwheeled your way through lasers no I don't know how serious you know I'm like I'm gonna get arrested like I'm gonna go like the like I just tried to bring now my thing was like if she gets arrested do I still go and make the Eagles game that would be great if she picked up the knife jank it out of here Jake you know that plane I'll be in five minutes Just make sure that thing doesn't take off without me

We were so tired and so comfy and I will have me get up and we were gonna you know It's just whether I was like we're not I was like we're not gonna make our So did you let me tell you did you know that the butterfly knives were in the suitcase? No, I know I Know I brought them up here one day. How did you get them there exactly? I get it because JFK apparently You just go through with JFK don't want to deal with me. I just shower. I don't need to blood that I just had a daughter dude There's so much backstory to what that little long you just said you You guys had a daughter, dude, fucking reform wigger who just had a kid.

You got a good job at the airport. So they had to call the Chicago police to work. Yes. Then Christine starts crying hysterically. And then I, I'm trying to actually be like consoling them. I'm like, relax, relax. It's fine. Like they'd be making a bigger deal about this

if this was gonna be a big deal. They're actually being very nice. Soon start crying, like the girl goes, no, sweetie, it's gonna be okay. They're fine, they're just gonna come. The probably confiscate the lives. Oh my goodness, Psycho, is that a fucking purposeful cry?

No. But if they were in my purse, it would have, I would have faced down the ground. Yeah, absolutely. They would have fucking sabotaged, you know, the beginning of sabotage and they jump over the car. They would have done that over the fucking belt

and got your ass. And we were exhausted, but I go, man, but now you're gonna want a coffee, you're probably up now. And they go to Christine, they go, you can go over to Starbucks. You go to Starbucks if you want, and like come back, and I'm like,

what the fuck is going on here? Are you guys sure? You know what really helped? I mean it was like literally, it was sort of like where we were standing sort of so it's not crazy. They didn't tell her to go down the hall or something, it was right there. There's a spiced lawn sign in the doorway, also you know what really made me feel better? Can I go to the lay down on the plane? The cops came over and unsarcastically said a short, very lovely black man came over and walked over to crying white girl

and just completely black looter. He came over like, I mean not being sarcastic with like, oh, that was the big problem going on over here. I mean, he wasn't doing it like, he wasn't doing it to be funny He was I had to illegal knives in my purse I know Like I can't It's the murder capital of the country and she's like

I don't know if it's a murder you know how people to eat me like it's not correct well i was so not fucking joe i was so not in danger of anything bad happening to me legally that the cop had uh... his key chain was chicago bears he had a chicago bears sing on his uniform and he he had a bracelet of bread a jewelry bracelet that said a bear is on it. And I went, damn, dude, you like the bears. Yeah.

That's right. That's right. Yeah, he did. He said he's like, I got the emergency. Yeah, he got the emergency. Doing Trabinski is the answer to Oliver. Also, this is fun. My sister's friend Diana blew her lacquer in there.

But he, they ran Christine's license. Yeah. And she's never committed Chicago crimes before. No, Chicago crimes. And listen, they gave back ways to go. Guys, and a power gently said, I'm very, very sorry, but we do have to confiscate the knives though. Yeah.

They said that if she goes, can I have the pre-order? If we weren't a time crunch, we could have gone back out and put them back. We will walk you out. if you want to put in your Bag when they go the bags have already been sent that's what the TSA people said bags are already been sent to go I'm really sorry. We got to like I'm sorry. We got to take them. You know what I learned from this story I'm the only one with a butterfly knife. Yeah, you are right now dude. I therefore air go I'm the most powerful one in this group. Hell yeah. Come take a road. I uh...

I did say it was for a radio bit right away. I'm like, we radio shows for a bit. Get there on the fucking ground. This is a radio bit. This is one of all. And the human's are the weird fucking margions. Get on the cat, damn girl. It's a radio bit, it's a radio bit.

He's fucking lighter. She said something about having a radio on her. Yeah, I meant that as a bam She was radio with something so I was radio with somebody else to pull the trigger me and Shlinski put about I fucking 16 hat ones in her We dropped her and she was shit We fucking really litter up. I don't know. You know to go in there. It's kind of a mess It's like someone popped a bunch of water balloons. Yeah, shit or pants Rounding out the best of the week after watching twerk videos big J and Dan discuss whether or not they should get budding plants

Enjoy if people would pay for it. Would you get ass implants? I would no I have a flat butt. I'll take this right now. The fans go fun meat to reach a point of good. Kai quality ass implants. What is high quality ass implants? Like Beverly Hills? Yeah, you don't want to go to like Guatemala. No, no, no, no. Yeah. You can't be like, I live in Costa Rica. My uncle will do this on the cheap. I want to get Jay Black market, but I don't want to get Jay Black market but implants. I don't want to fucking coast the recon tranny butt. What happened to the bonfire? Jay died in Brazil.

Yeah. questionable jungle surgeries. Yeah, he's in Rio. First off, he looked hottest fuck on his stomach. I hate it, Carnival. And then just kind of hotel room from some kind of infection he got. I heard his right cheek popped Yeah, they had him rubbing cocoa leaves on these scars. I don't know

It looks like old 80s member old 80s implants when you look kind of the boom look like they were Exactly was like were you stitched together with yarn? Then you're right. I saw your ass recently buddy. You got no swim suit in front I mean I got to tell your ass is not great not good at all your ass is not and I have a terrible ass. It's droopy It's a droopy dog. I thought you were gonna have a better ass. Yeah, it's a droopy dog I'm on front dude the left is your ass. Yeah, I know fucking front heavy. Yeah, so all your ass All of your ass meat fell in your dick dude You must have fell in your ass hard one day shut all your butt meat in your dick

You must have fell on your ass hard one day shut all your butt meat in your dick Fucking fat thermos you're carrying around down there buddy. Oh With the soup with the soup bowl at the top when it hit that kind of thermos when it hit like this Like a cartoon head thing dude. Let's get fat asses man dude up Look at that. All right. That's what I would that's about what my butt would look like Yeah, dude, good butt. You damn right it is. It's a good man, but Go start to go find me somebody if you guys can conjure up the money me and damn I'm not gonna do it. You can do it now. You'll do it. I'll talk them into it everybody guys Just don't know all right if you do that if Dan doesn't do it

I'll use the extra money and I'll get weird light perception you guys guys can sculpt me. I'll be the first radio host that you guys can make I'm your monster. I'm your monster everybody here a custom character. Yeah, yeah, dude I'm gonna character you're gonna get that cat face dude. I'll do it if you pay for it Forever young dude dude if you look all fucking super Jay with like shit in place Like crazy like this face. Yeah, we gotta get Christina and you gotta come over the Eagles are playing tonight Stop being so funny. You're gonna make me rip my cheeks We got a you're too hilarious. Come on. Come on man. Say something sad

We gotta get Christine like really bad big fake tits the ones that are monster tits But the ones that like stick to the sides you know crazy fucking basketballs tape to her Just have the run away she doesn't have big titties. So you get massive ones now There's just no way the skin will work. It'll be um she'll be a monster And I'll make her and she'll only wear half tops on the show Real proud please are shit. Oh dude Scottsdale bonfire I'll tell you I'll take a big ol fat ass. I can't get the dick size I want I better be rocking a fat ass You never do a penal implant would you?

No, the science isn't in enough yet Give it two decades. But I'll tell you this, I can be 70 years old if we go, we figured it out officially, we can give you a 10 inch dangler, let's do it. Hey, it's Big J. O'Gerson, and I hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8 p.m. Eastern on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM95, or on Demand on the Series XMF. Be sure to follow us on social media at the Bond Fire at SexM.

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