The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Live from The Moontower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas (feat. Josh Adam Meyers Shane Gillis)

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

The Bonfire is live from the  10th annual Moontower Comedy Festival at Antone's in Austin, Texas! Josh Adam Meyers gets back just in time after being sent on an errand run by Jay and Dan after they forgot he was starting the show with them. Shane Gillis joins the gang and shows everyone his new cowboy look.Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/Bonfire Follow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com @BigJayOakerson www.BigJayComedy.com

I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Oakerson and welcome to the Bonfire Podcast. You can hear our full show every day on SiriusXM. Go to SiriusXM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer. Welcome to 10th Annual Moon Tower Comedy Festival brought to you by the Paramount Theater. Be sure to follow Act Moontower Comedy for Fest Updates and download the Fest Act. And now the bonfire with Big J. O'Coursen and Dan Soda, lives on a Moontower Comedy Festival in Austin, Texas. What's up, off the Texas? The Von Fire is back with you, everybody. Man, of course, his dance soda.

Yeah! That's my Rod and Partner Big J. Okay, see? Yeah! Welcome back to Antones. We brought again, we're back in Texas. We came back to get COVID. We want this strength. Bring it.

Actually, we're back because Dan found the only size eight cowboy head in the history of cowboy hats. And I'm telling you, it was made for him. If you got Fiddle Alcohol Syndrome, keep believing! There are hats for blimp heads out there. Damn, you look good in that thing. When we asked, we were like, what's the size that had were like, well, that's for a fake cowboy out front. That's a mascot hat, sir.

It's supposed to go on a giant bull at a college. I have found the hat that makes me want to leave comedy and live on a rancher Wyoming hat. Sure. Take it off and wipe some sweat off your head with your forearm. Oh my God. Oh, holy shit. I'm not much for making sillies anymore.

But I guess I could watch this video of Corey Feldman dancing just one more time. I don't think I played bass in a local bar band. Yeah, dude. Tell me you are not in the Pantera cover band respect. Hell yeah. Riii! Spent!

What are you saying? That guy works at Etna. Did you know that? We have a depleted crew here, but a crew nonetheless. We put together a squad to get down here. Uh, of course, my queen, everyone. She's all for period and ready to party. Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! That's what my bathroom trash can tells me! Yeah! Oh, you've come, too! Ha-ha-ha! It's the gorgeous Christine Murray Evans, everybody. Yeah!

Yeah! Oh, yeah. And we couldn't even be here. It wouldn't be possible to show, of course, if we didn't have the heartbeat to life's blood of the Bonfire. The one and only DJ Lew Whiskey everybody. It's in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, in the air, And then they rape you to show you what a homo you are. DJ. Yeah. And you can't get him in trouble for that, because that was technically Christine saying it. So good luck, Austin. Yeah.

Of course, I'm just going to post fences. He's not, I know you really look like you're ready to do some fucking work. We should have got you some a tan work gloves. This shirt doesn't go with his hat. I need a white t-shirt and work gloves on. Yeah, dude, that's a little bit of a fucking cheerle that wet gush in here. Well, all the women got three inches shorter when you said that.

You're the bad boy cowboy. I got to be the honest worker who's gonna bang you out Just eat your box in a wagon You just talk about that boy. Sorry about giving you a neighbor Of course, we always show love even if you couldn't be here everybody new father Of course our black king the black tiger and Lewis the most racist thing you've ever done Lou we're all nice bro how dare you and we are sad to say, of course, that

Another just a hero of the bar fire the soul of the bar fire Jacob a top couldn't be here, but we did find a holy shit. That's amazing We did find a solution Oh my god for this problem You know how like you know well we're all familiar with actors die and they're like filming a movie and they have other actors play their roles. That's Jacob died kind of. I mean emotionally, he couldn't come to Texas shit, his favorite.

But to solve this problem, well we did find a quick solution, DJ Lo. For this next segment, playing the role of Jacob Atai, we'll be Josh out of Myers. Josh out of Myers! From the 500 podcasts of the goddamn comedy jam! You can grab that mic, just say hello. Ah, homies! He will be our Jacob right now. You treat him as your... he's your step-jake-up. Jacob? And you will respect him. I'm gonna tell you something, Jacob. He makes mommy and daddy very happy.

I'm so proud of you and impressed that you got... You walked in this door three seconds ago. We sent Josh on a fool's errand. Yeah, you know before he goes full Jacob, I do want to say, before you immerse yourself in the role, this is, you have a right to be angry at his Josh. Your friends are fucking potted, you fucked up. Why? Me and Dan smoked a lot of weed out back.

I know I saw that. Just getting into the scene back there. Camp intense, roaches, smoking some cube. And then Josh came up and he was like, you guys look great, I wish I had country western shit. And I was like, dude, I've got my old garb in my hotel room, go back and grab it. I got a cowboy hat for you that you will swim in fight the biggest cowboy I ever put on I did this

check out the shank go west oh well I knew it was gonna be swimming in that shit so we were like yeah if you go get it and then Jay left his phone in his room so he's like grab Jay's phone and then he walked out of sight and both of us were like, uh, he's first Jacob.

He's the first Jacob of the day, which is the introduction of the show. And we sent him on a tumultuous errand. It was a quiet five minutes before showtime. And we're such potted, Josh goes, God, I don't know. Am I going to be able to make it? And we go, yeah, he goes, do I have time to change my pants? I go, we take a bath, dude. The energy that Jay said it with really was like, dude, you take some time for yourself. It just full-danned until I guess it's all right. I'm like, dude, come back in an hour, man. We're good.

I guess it's all right. I'm like, dude, come back in an hour, man. We're good. And then when we're announcing Jacob, that's why Jay popped, because Jay looked and fucking Josh was like, I'm here. I'm here. It's not even breathing heavy. Damn, you're in shape.

Guys got a torso on them that we're both very jealous of. I feel like a lot of Texans have good torso. That's a thing down here. Yeah, the homeless do. They're all fucking cut. They are cut, yeah. Goddamn, dude, they're all peeled up. There's a guy sleeping in a tent out back

with, like, Carl Lewis. I mean, it's muscle fitness magazine in these streets. Yeah. None of your homeless reading any carbs. Where are all these scaffoldings to do these pull-ups on, I hear. Watch that become a thing. What? I went homeless for three months to lose weight.

Yeah. I want to get you. I've ever locked. Well, they're training to attack Joe Liste, apparently. Yeah, after hearing Liste say that on Rogan, it's like, what did you do, Joe? We like, bitch, can't catch me. I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, there is a no-wing as any other homeless, I guess, but... No, there's a... There's a spicier down here. Yeah, but Joe Liste was like, they'll attack you and chase you. I'm like, yeah, maybe, I guess you. I don't know, I've walked by a bunch. I've literally gotten a karate stance and said, Christine, to get on the other side of me and they're just smoking

and like, what's your problem? Weirdo. You need a dollar? How about you, everyone? Just smile your manners. I am from the north east. Dude, if we got attacked, what noise would you make? I would make a shriek that I wouldn't be proud of. Really? If the one of them came, I'd say something like that. And then I'd see a bad holder and they're like, dude, I want to dance on her,

you'll stop, stop, stop. Well, here's the thing. Stop it, no! I like, cool. You listen to the butt farms, all right, man. Fuck it, dude. I'd like to believe I could take a homeless, but I do feel like What's happening? I'll be like

Like I'm like, is it happening? I feel like you're a lot of You're like if you have your finger in his mouth you'd be like Right. Yeah, I've a lot of icky factor to it. I'm like I don't want to I'm like I guess we have to do it and then I'm gonna stretch that motherfucker out or Hillwind which is funnier. Yeah come on there he's gonna put him on my chest, give him like a champion or so. Sir, can you have $20 please get off my front? Yeah, he went down hard. Oh the sack of potatoes. We forgot to announce our resident

artist giving up for Chris Rogers, everybody. Every year when we do a live bonfire for Moon Tower, he does a painting and he's done Winnie the Pooh, he did a naked, hot cowboy Jacob. And he's staying in that vein and I think what are we getting? Broke back down. Broke back down. Broke back down. Yeah.

We'll show you at the end of the show. Dude, when I did... Our love is eternal. When Chris. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around.

I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around.

I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote back around. I wrote that? Yeah. edited by Jacob. I love Nikki Dinky. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair.

That's basically what Jacob, how Jacob would have said it? Chris, he was standing on stage for me, and I kept putting him on the spout. I was like, you know, Chris told me that this is the most important painting he's ever been a part of. And so I'd note, he painted the Remember George Floyd poster in town. While he was painting, you were doing that?

He should have been a dick. He should have made you a little boy. He really should have. He did. He did so good. Oh, man. I never knew. The other one was, hey, I shouldn't have said it.

Now you have to say it. I said, he said this is the most important paint work he's ever been a part of. And he painted over the bullet holes in Brianna Taylor's house. But it wasn't. It wasn't. Yeah Yeah that's what I said it's not gonna be on the album. I gotta take up some fence posts Jason. Rock and roll comic you're so cool. Jacob Woodrow said that. Rock old comic, you're so cool. Fuck yeah, I've always wanted live Jacob Drops with another actor portraying his role.

This show is about new beginnings. What are mashups back in? Yeah. Still we're doing bonfire when it's light out. It is. It feels like we're playing dress up when it's light out. It is. Yeah. It feels like we're playing dress up cowboy. We are, though.

I know. But it feels more like it. I don't know. It looks like I'm so old. When you see people here, you see us dressed like, what do you do? This look works for me so much. It really does.

But I can't just flip to this at 43. You know what I mean? Let's take a poll. Clap if you think Jake can switch to that look permanently. Now, clap if you think Jake shouldn't switch to that permanently. Now, I don't wear thin. Eventually, I was going to be, I'm just sort of like a, a fact-iron on a mechanical bowl.

Also if I sit down the buttons will explode. So this is like your Miami vacation and how you dress up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are my only dress like this when I go to Austin. Yeah, but I can't take it all. What about just the hell? You, it sucks when you try a look for something and then it ends up being your look. We shot a promo for Bonfire once and you had a

Button down shirt sweater vest and some nice slacks Our Christmas you look fucking great Like you were supposed to dress like a guy guidance counselor. I feel like that's what I always should have been a guidance Counselors picking up the youth, you know like come on man. You don't need to smoke at 12. How did that look while I'm at? I'm telling you what to do all of a sudden. Fuck, sucks kid. But yeah, you pulled off that look amazingly. Thank you very much. I always like to tuck stuff in until I touch my role play. Tucked in?

Feel so gross. Don't you feel weird when you took something in? You're like, what am I at that? I lived with Mike Vecchio for 10 years. And then I moved out, and now he pucks his t-shirts in, and I'm worried about it. Really? So I'm at the stand.

Don't walk away from this. You're going to tell Vecchio? That's cool, man. It's a big, charming dude. I know he's a wrestler, but I'll fucking, he fucking stole it. What's wrong with braw, but I fucking, he fucking stooly. What's crawling brawls unbelievable? That dick young come for me.

He's talking to Abbey, it was like Tony Little. Dude, he does. Remember the gazelle guy? Yeah, dude. Together, I think. Yeah. With the pony tail. He just sneaky pony tail.

Yeah, that guy tucked tank tops into bite shorts. Who's the hell of a look? By the way, clear until like 2008. Oh, deep. Yeah. Yeah, he trusts like Millie Vanille. There was a white guy with a ponytail. I mean, as Texans, are you offended when people just come here

and they're like, this is my look? Of course. No one hears dressed like us. Yeah, but I feel like they want to be dressed like that. Yeah, this is like going to New York and putting on a Yankees jersey and like one of those news boy hats and be like, Fogato by! Look, I think this is my luck! Or a T-shirt, a sleeveless white t-shirt with black rims that has a picture of John Lennon wearing

another sleeveless t-shirt that says, effin something, effin New York. Dude, that one is. Exactly. Luke's got that shirt for sure. Luke, do you have that shirt? No, but I want it. Right. Now we're going to go back to New York, these are going to start dressing like John Linden right before he got shot.

Fucking DJ Luke got loose last night, dude. Hey, buddy see? Hey, buddy see you, Luke out on the town? I just kept seeing him in between shows and a different dude kept showing up. I was like, see you later, Luke. And then the new one was like, hello, Stu. And then he sat up different. He was like, oh, I'm about to go up on Jay's show.

And he goes, you just want to go outside and get high? I'm like, I'm about to go up. So he's like, everybody's going to go out. Dude, you're the best. I love it. Thank you for bringing your New Jersey energy with you. Do you get a toss tonight? Jacob, how are you doing?

I love her backsplashes. Yeah. Goddamn, right, you do. Out of context, other Jacob is pretty fun. Jacob, honey? Lose on the prowl down here. Single-loo. Pretty fuck-a-fuck.

Woo! He's hungry. Did you do this move? Did you break up with your chick just so you can come to the festival? It's for the old genuine hate. Yeah! What's good about live shows is you get to see Lou not want to answer Jay's questions and it's not just awkward dead air like an ornals

because I'm not fucking jumping in this. I want to hear the answer, but it hurts to watch. I'm at Dan Weston, though, also. He doesn't want to answer anything. Yeah, dude, he's shaking you off. I don't like that. Can I tell what I saw you doing last night? Oh, dude.

Talent, you're going to tell these people what you saw me doing in that back alley. It's a long road first blood. If you can't have the real thing, you know. Out back that door after the jam late last night, he was just embraced up with a young lady of color. Woo! The other day, a Caucasian woman of color.

She said, You were her snow. You write a lot of beautiful songs. Shout out, Sean Fury. What how would you describe me? I have a question to you. How do you pull so many f-knicks, dude? How do you do it?

You couldn't look more like an uncle of a white supremacist. Supremacist? They're gonna yell at me either way. I think you nailed it. Wrong. Look, Christina, I know we had a disassociated herself. Christina's like, I'm walking away from this, but can you tell the audience what he was doing?

Yes. I mean, weird neck kisses on this person. Like, I was five feet away and I could hear, like that noise. That's weird. How do you, if you're a lady, and there was none of this, she wasn't dropping out of it. Totally in.

Was she open in her neck up? Yeah. But then asking for future things. Dude, I would love to have a mic to hear a blue, drunk, blue grumbles. Where's that, well, he's, yeah. Oh, he're so good. You like that?

My brother taught me this. You know, projects. Maybe after Eddie, but it's a grandma's project. Yeah, and he still calls it bases. You want to go to the base? I never made it to second base with a lady in an alley. Just a clean home run. Oh, you want to go to the base?

Ah. Are you afraid you're going to run into her again? Afraid. I don't know. Do when you're neck kissing a lady in the alley, how do you say hello the next day? I'm not going to lie. She went, well, she was leaning into it,

but she was like, you got to take me out tomorrow. And he was like, whatever buddy. She already make the bunny less? She's my buddy. Oh, dude, you got an Austin buddy. She looks like a young BDWong. No. No.

It's fun watching. She looks like she's been thrown out of a deli by a young BDWong. The love making must must be beautiful there. Now that is something I would like to say. Do you shout out to Anton's for having Buckler non-alcoholic beer? No, I had a boy, I feel like a real man again. God, this city makes me want to drink. Dude, that beard is working.

Thanks, dude, it's pure laziness. Oh, I'm glad you're laziness, fuck. You have a real beard, I have, you told me. I have survival face. That's why this dusted up hat works well, because it looks like I was up in the hills. Yeah, yeah, you were gathering for us. I had to eat Jacob. I taught him our partner Jacob.

Um, we have a fun show lined up here. Man, oh yeah, we gotta go to commercial. I forgot the key to the little sling fuck minutes ago. You're just sitting up here like, oh, it's up with you guys. You just see anybody bomb. You just ask a real questions. It's got anybody, shit.

So, up to it. We have a great show lined up here. We are going to... You guys are going to be part of it. Yeah. Pretty sure we're breaking COVID false to show. We have a great show lined up here. We are gonna you guys are gonna be part of it. Yeah I'm pretty sure we're breaking COVID false to show but We're in Texas. We didn't write me things. Yeah, no, we don't give a shit. We actually did a right shit You guys gonna have a chance to win stuff This place got rid of masks abortions condoms. I don't get a shit. Yeah nothing in front of my holes

You don't get a shit. Nothing in front of my holes. Nothing! The goalies are all- The goalies are all- Pulls! Can't stop my blow- Straight swishes, raw dog swishes. Guys, now we do-

We play games with telephone with spitting in each other's mouths. So far with that Chris Rogers painting, I do look like a sad clown. It looks like the happy in the sad clown. But where are the clowns? When we come back from break, we're going to find our contestants out of this audience for the first ever, I think. 100% first ever. First ever live, for sure bonfire

Trippy quiz everybody we're gonna find out In the room if you guys are a bunch of posters Yeah, you know just I want to call people posters cuz I got called it. I don't think it's great It's just it sounds as ridiculous claim. Are you guys just clout chasing our radio program? We're just old men saying young people shit. Stick around, it's gonna be Litty. Man, Litty. No cap.

I'm a baby. I get a lot of pus. Puss. Do you know how to realize you do, you look like back to the future three-mortem Never felt cooler walking through the streets. Oh, oh my people are looking at Immediately after the show. No, I want to wear this. I'm working for the jam. You're gonna catch your boys scooting around because guess you's living that scooter life now. A scooted on down to the water, a scooted on down. Yeah, midnight tonight, when you're searching for your hat because you wipe down that thing. Yeah.

Where's my, I'll be there about it. Really Tyson, Tyson trying to put his mouth behind. Going for my nine or a half. Alright, let's take our first break and we'll come back. Everybody. I put his mouth. You're gonna get a good one. Going for a nine or a half. Where's the fuck? All right, let's take our first break. And we'll come back. Everybody. One more time for Josh Adam Myers. Thanks Adam.

Oh, my homies! Check out Goddamn Comic-Can. Listen to the 500 podcast. We're gonna take our first break. We'll be right back. It's the Bond fire. It's my two. It's Michael Kendrick Williams.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right, guys, now a quick reset. It's the bonfire. It's the bonfire. It's Michael Kevin Williams. Oh, mom's coming. All right, guys, now a quick reset. Jacob is not dead. But we're going to need you guys to play like he is. His mom is listening. It's an insurance scale. Guys, Jacob's very well.

He's OK, but we are really ripping off the government with this one. For this next segment, playing the role of Jacob Atat, will be the young bull, Shane Gilles. Shane Gilles, everybody. Yeah! Cowboy Shane! Yeah! Yeah! Carole Boyshire! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, stay right here. You're welcome to the bonfire. Live and the MuTown.

Wow! The most awesome Texas. Wow! How good do Shane clean up? God damn! Yeah! Serious XM, Factor Talk 103. I'm Dan Soder, that's Bigger, I over-sending man.

What a way to close this out. Dude, I bet you can just play guitar now. I don't know. I didn't know you guys were going dungries and untucked. You know boots? We're casual casuals. I don't feel like a fucking idiot. No you don't.

Dude, he got boots too. Yeah, the boots. Shane went full fit. Yeah, I spent more money than I'll make at this guy. I lost money. Too much. But tell me right now, there's not at least 10 guys that wouldn't buy a 4-DF250 from Shane.

Oh god. God. Tell me you wouldn't be like, is this got a hemi on it? Fuck it. Yeah, I'll do the paperwork Sometimes it's fun to dress up with your friends Dude Start, you go around Austin till everyone you're George straight junior Fuck that would awesome dude

There you go, did you get fired from SNL and you go True story Dude, if you're a producer and you don't hire him to play a young Conway 20, what do you do? I do it. Do it. Missed opportunity. Very big miss opportunity. If Lauren sees this, he's like, there would be a whole world we could do with it.

True. Yeah, hell yeah. We're welcome back to the Barron Fire live at Moon Tower, Austin, Texas. You guys ready for some bar on fire, trivia? We'll say goodbye to Shane, because now he's our Jacob. Isn't that right, Jacob? No. Okay.

Wait, so I'm getting off the stage? I bought this fucking outfit. No, no, no, you hang out on the stage with us. I sit here and do what? They're gonna sit there. You stand over here with me. I'm gonna stand in the corner. Yeah, with me, with you.

I'm not. Do you want to stand in the middle behind them? Yeah. Oh, you can. All right, stand in the middle behind them. I'll lurk over them. You see how difficult he's become since he released a special... Look what you did to him, Austin.

He's now diva Shane. No, I think. And only whereas the finest cowboy boots. They are nice boots. They are nice boots. They are nice boots. Honestly, you fucking made it sound like the jeans are gonna work. And they look at that belt, dude. Oh, thanks.

That's American flag, dude. A boy abortion is bad. And you guys are doing the right thing down here. Yes. Oh, man. That outfit is bringing it all out. COVID's fake, dude. A portion's bad.

Let's go. I don't like a portion, one bit. Fuck you, a portion. A portion's gay. That's not a meaner. Dude, I wonder if that was the actual argument? Yeah, and they were, well, there's time to take a hack on a Borshin. The Texas Senate that I got.

I think I speak for all my constituents when I say, a Borshin's pretty fucking gay. Here, here, here, here. Four more years. Dude, a chain's gonna win a local election by the time he leaves. Here here Dude a chain's gonna win a local election by the time he leaves You already filmed his special at the creek and now he's gonna be like think your city council member, dude Yeah, I'll tell you first thing we're gonna do eradicate the homeless Oh! I'm actually gonna contain him into a tiger sanctuary.

Is this live on the radio? No. But nothing can be done. Nothing can be done to that. We're gonna have to air. Please kill the homeless. Yeah, dude, this is like when you hire an actor and you're like, Hey, can you put this role in the actor?

I'm gonna do it how I see it. Yeah. That's what he said. do it how I see it. Yeah. Yeah, that's what he said. That's his interpretation of Jacob. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, this is if Jacob had big old nuts. Grind up the home was to make him into tacos.

Dash Jacob. You ready to bring up our contestants? I am, everybody. We have, of course, James. Come on up here Portland Band of the panda Fand of the And Caitlin there they are come on up here everybody. Do I grab that water?

No, you get one lifeline from him. That's it you go up there by yourself This is I feel weird yelling at a lady in a pan to have. Yeah. Leave your boyfriend behind just you. That is a weird thing to yell at when I get on the gun. We should have had Shane sing them up here. And come in. Whoop stage.

Oh, dude, look at Whitaker. You look like you rode here on those old, tiny bicycles. Like with the real big wheel and the tiny wheel. I invented peanut butter. Actually, that was a black man. That was racist. I bet Whitaker has a weird artistic talent.

He can recall stuff. Who do you think? I do art. What kind? Like psychedelic art? Psychedelic art. That's fake. Do you make tapestries?

Yeah. I did. What a chill response to that question. What's second-hand art? Did you patches on Dungaree jackets? I saw him at a show yesterday and he has an incredible laugh. Can you not fuck everybody except your boyfriend for five seconds? I mean, Jesus Christ.

Also, what is so fucking around the room so hard. What a serial killer compliment. She's like, he has a wonderful laugh. He's got a stare that chills you to the bone. And just a charming laugh. Well, we have three different tiers of bonfire questions. Each one, different points. the winner at the end of this gets a $100 gift certificate to Alan's boots

Which is dressed Shane topped the bottom on his own dollars. That's gonna get you about half of one boot So Can I say something? Can I say something happening? You watch it happen too, Shane. What's that? We saw the magic. You're gonna get this girl fired.

No. No. The magic of handsome Dan's face. No. He went there. I said, hey, is there any size eight cowboy hat in the world? Just I was looking through every single one. And they said we have one in the store, and it was that one.

It was perfect. There was a tag on it that's at $35. I was like, wow, that's crazy. Maybe it's something's fucked up with it, but get it. And when he went to check it out, she goes, no, the $35 just for the rope. She goes, that hat's $200. She goes, you want it? Do you want it? She goes the hats, $200. Do you have the hat?

Do you want it? She goes you still want it? And he thought about it for a minute. She goes, you know what? That's not how it went down. It's not how it went down. I will not let you besmirch my name. She said, do you want it?

I was like, this really is the only cowboy hat that has ever fitted my fucking head. And I'll bring it back every year to Moon Tower. Fuck it, ring it up. And then after two minutes she goes here's a deal, I can't find a barcode. And I can't find how to ring it up. Yeah, and they don't say anything. I won't say anything. Three! Three! Yeah, that's because she hears of that lady who's dropped this guy off

Damn, you're like one of those girls. I love after lockup. You're just giving this to you guys. I want it I mean I wanted it in the inside. I wasn't allowed to wear cowboy hats They'd also just made a fortune off of me. That's true. Yeah they would you know what your dumb idiot friend just way too much way too much. Yeah we were on some cowboy gillers just like it made our nut for the month so have the hat. Yeah you want to tell Neil Diamond over there that we like it. I don't look like Neil Diamond dude. I had to shripele me slapping on that one. Thanks for coming to this show and not a $600 shipele Rogan show. It's probably, it's right around the corner. That's when I knew the cowboy hat cost too much man. Six hours of him staring at his cigarette talking about that.

six hours of him staring at his cigarette, talking about that. Contrary when you sign it. I'm gonna see his pooh. To Mexico. Oh, wow. Whoa. Whoa. We got three, do you have the questions? We got three tiers of questions.

First one, these are one point questions, all right? And at the end of it, winner gets $100 gift certificate to fucking bear, what's it? Alan Poodson. Alan's. Fuck you, I spoke a little weird. Second prize, $50. A woman gave you a free, expensive hand. And we're in love. And I am working that out right now, Jason. What? I got a lot of balls in the air. I will, I will say this, Jason, you always talk about about Dan, like everybody's like, oh, they love him. They're so nice to him.

I don't think it's as much as he's great looking as much as you're just very off-putting. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had to bring in a black hat to take care of the other black hat. It's a change, it's a change my bodega hat. Now you're right. I get him so angry at men in general and then they're kind of like this nice guy gets it

And Dan's like I'm slightly less like that I'm like I get buried every week on the bonfire So these are gonna go tear by tear and then second prize is a $50 gift certificate to Cisco's, the bonfire's favorite breakfast spot in Austin, Texas. This is butter biscuits. Damn, it's fucking good. Man, that's good stuff. It was good, right? It's good stuff.

I have severe indigestion, and I spent all my money on this outfit. But I have come down with a severe case of melancholy. And I'm pretty depressed, so uh... Alright, well, James, as somebody who only found this at Allen's Boots, let me say it to you, play for second place, dude. Fuck, hey all day. Yeah, let me just...

Just slide in the second. You worry about Whitaker and Caitlyn going for top dog. Let's vandal fucking hits a whole picture. If you don't mind, she just guesses everything right? Well, let's start it off. So these are the tier one. For one point each, and Christine will be keeping score of this. Let's start from the far away, Whitaker.

First question. Oh, you know what? I fucked up. We got to be getting to this game. Hit it, DJ Lou. Woo. Woo. Hey there, Moon Tower.

I'm sorry I couldn't be there tonight. I'm off doing some lag-lue shit that you don't need to worry about, baby. But let me ask you something. Do you have what it takes to answer questions about the Bonfire? Well, it's time for Bonfire Trivia. Oh, thank you. I am a genius. I'm a race car driver. It's time for Bonfire trivia. Ah, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I am a Jace.

I'm a race car driver. I'm a dancer. Take it away, my soul, brothers, and always remember. You might lose money chasing women, but you will never lose women chasing money. Damn. That's all our soul. That's our real soul.

All right, Whitaker, question number one. What are mine and Jay's mom's names? Trish and Terry. No, no, no, no, Whitaker dude, you got your all James. Trish and Terry? That energy's too much. I'm not gonna lie, that was big energy. Yeah, it was big energy dude. Trish and Terry, you are correct sir.

That's a point for Whitaker. It's gonna be funny how much they know that you guys are like my very close friends. I'm not yet. Yeah. Shane's gonna learn a lot about Jay and I today. Man. You wanna hit, Caitlin, with the second question? Yes.

I'm trying to say something's my answer already. No, those are the answers for us. I don't know. I know, I'm saying some of them, we've already said things like. We didn't do any of these. No, I'm telling you. Somebody answered, somebody said the answer number three

just out loud. Oh, son of a bitch. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm not fighting with you. I'm not fighting with you. Um, um, oh, what are my and Dan's names supposed to be? What were the two names that we almost got before a parents landed on Dan and Jay? Oh, it's a good question.

It's like a boy named for his Duke for Dan or something. Man, I wish. Duke Soda? Duke Soda. Falk, you are right now. That's Duke Soda. God bless you. Best thing my daddy ever did was leave.

It appears I can't answer this. Damn, moving on. Can you steal the question? What were our names supposed to be That's cool Which one would be who would be who? Double-dead check the back of the year might be a six six six six Certain I was gonna be Damien Won't you make me a Gordon Wallamitter? I was certain I was gonna be Damien. Welcome. Yeah.

Why don't you make me a Gordon Wallamitter? Damn, the answers are gonna be fun because how much they're gonna upset us. No idea. James, can you tell us? Was James gonna be James also? No. No.

Do I know you? And, uh, my... Rob? Rob? Rob? No. I don't think you like me, James. I think you're like, Bob. Do you know the answers?

I thought, can I get, can I say, I think yours was Oscar, right? Yes, yes, it is. Do you remember what mine was? Buck. Buck. Oh, I did know that. I did know that.

My dad wanted to name me Buck Soder. That's a man with alcohol. Yeah, that's an alcoholic fucking choice That's a guy who got all your onesies from Marbro He goes ah the kids used to smoke his crimps right here All right, well no one got that one so we'll go fuck ourselves All right, well no one got that one so we'll go fuck ourselves Vanda What is DJ lose favorite movie look at them? Shut the fuck up

Literally will kick you out of that shit It's a fear you can't rule the integrity of the game. That's Dukesoda, Dukesoda is in your hands. Dukesoda. Dukesoda doesn't like, I don't fuck play around with trivia being spoiled. Play now. Alex just died. Keep it on the level now. Yeah.

What is Kepa Dukesoda? Everyone's while soda. You are at Psycho. You're at 60. You're at 60, dude. Do you remind me of the... Remember when Hor Horatio sand was the Billy Joel band? We don't do do Billy Joel. Yo, see what did I say guy? What I say for take your skank hooker wife and get the fuck out

Dude, that's exactly my fucking you really it was fucking same, man So I'm trying to have fun here the guy that called me Shane McGillis today. Yeah. Nothing. I thought nothing of it. He was like, hey, I'm a big fan of Shane McGillis. It's nice to meet you. He had a European accent, and he said it was great.

But Shane, not Shane, not McGillis? I thought nothing of it while we're leaving, so I was like, that would, I would espas. I was like, you're crazy. you