The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Love Letters w/Derek Drescher & Geo Perez

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Comic Andrew Shulz gets into WWE wrestling and literally winds up on the mat with Logan Paul. Geo and Derek are two reformed jailbirds/drug addicts, active comedians, and friends of the Bonfire. They hang out for the whole show and talk about sending love letters. Jay and Geo both plagiarized popular song lyrics when writing love notes to their ladies. Jay shows his favorite sex scenes of Alyssa Milano. Porn stars Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon were once on the Bonfire and revealed what actor James Caan liked to do to them sexually. Geo Perez and Derek Drescher host a podcast called "On The Gate!" on the Gas Digital Network. Big Jay Oakerson's "Them" is available on YouTube. Robert Kelly's dates are at punchup.live/robertkelly *To hear the full show to go www.siriusxm.com/bonfire to learn more FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of The Bonfire ad-free and a whole week early.  Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Olkerson and Robert Kelly Do you think so do you think soda is fucking worked up that Schultz Got to be in WWE Well, I watched it live guarantee that Schultz thinks wrestling is gay. I watched it live until two days ago Here's a problem If Schultz left after his segment That would suck that means he's not into it. That means he showed up to promote cuz I go when I went McCully Culkin his brother his other brother big huge wrestling pan always there. Mm-hmm always at the garden

He was there last night Steve I score Sam Roberts Sam Sam Roberts is Always at the Garden, he was there last night. I scored Sam Roberts. Sam Roberts is another, he is famous. In wrestling. But we went with him two rows back, the wrestlers were looking over and pointing at Sam and winking and I was just like,

people were yelling out, Sam! Nobody knew me. Yeah, I was like going to a fucking, you know, a metal concert with you. Oh, yeah, it's not like that This is a bunch of fat nerds Don't know me. I'll take it. It's fine with me, but if he left after this it would suck Well, he wouldn't leave why would you leave your fucking ringside watching an event fun? Oh, you live in New York

You might not be into wrestling if you're not into it and you're like I did my thing them out I batted around going last night. What? When I saw I was at the Garden. Yeah, I was looking, I don't have like, there's Gas Digital's on their, their Jamaican fucking trip this week, so I have nothing to do at home,

and I'm trying not to bat around suicide, so I have nothing to do. Why wouldn't you, I would have loved to have went last night. I should have, yeah. I saw it during the afternoon yesterday, I was like, ah. Dude, last night would have been an epic show to go to. Was it great? Yeah, dude, it was awesome.

What happened? Did the rock come out? I don't know, the rock wasn't there. Cody came out, it was all right. He made, Cody's, he came out and just talked it was alright little promo. It was cool Was the ultimate warrior there? No, he's gone. He's gone. He's dead. Oh, but he's with when Schultz did do this thing I was a little nervous that he wasn't gonna pull it off because it's hard sometimes these famous people can't pull it off He did a good job and he was about to get smashed in the ring by Logan. Yeah He's about to get a suplex knows I think Schultz did a good job, and he was about to get smashed in the ring by Logan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was about to get a suplex. No, I think Shultz did a good job in playing what he had to play. Here's my concern with the part you chose to play, and I thought this was weird too for Patrice. Like, you have to go with the character they give you, but if you got one shot and you're playing yourself to make yourself be the puss,

I know it's fun still, but it wasn't so much I would be fine to have wrestlers go and they start beating you up and then another wrestler comes in and saves you. To have to stand there while he's saving you and watch him and cheer for like a girlfriend is very, very strange. But I think it's what the, you know, you did what he had to do. but I thought he took the bumps good Schultz did a good job as far as that goes and then but just funny when the AJ Styles the guys name That's that was the problem with me is that his he was like I'm here baby. Hey style and he just came back from injury. He's not as pot He's not he's big but he wasn't as big as

You know somebody else wasn't he an AEW for a while Oh, hey all of them a lot of more see Cody was CM Punk was He wasn't as big as somebody else. Wasn't he in AEW for a while? All of them, a lot of them were. Cody was, CM Punk was, everybody was. In AEW? Everybody went to AEW. And then WWE brought them all back when Vince was gone? When Triple H got back and when he got into control.

He goes, let's go get all these guys back. He's like, listen, we gotta go and start getting these guys back. Because he saw what A.E.W. was actually making a really good push. I heard it's eating shit now. It's eating shit because he took everybody. He took Punk, he took Cody. Cody was like one of the, I think it's called EP

or whatever, he was one of the executive producers over there. It's Jericho's thing, right? Jericho's one of the guys over there. Main guys. But it's like his thing he started, I thought. Jericho's one of the guys over there. Main guys. Now. But it's like his thing he started, I thought.

When Cody was one of the guys, too, who started it. Well, went over and helped start it, but when he left, that was huge. I think Jericho's actually like an owner of it. So was Cody Rhodes. He was, of AEW, oh, I didn't know that. Cody Rhodes was, yeah, he's, I think he still owns some of it.

I think he's still. Conflict of interest. Well, he the guy who owns it Khan. He has his father has so much money It's ridiculous. So they keep pumping money into it. Was it backed by like a prince or something? Yeah So what they're doing now, though, is they're going full blood. They're going full crazy Good ECW. Yeah, they're going ECW a little bit. They should do that what they absolutely should because they can't compete with the stories that The Rock and Cody and Roman and now CM Punk with Seth.

It's just really good storytelling. It's the right time now to bring back like an ECW violent, like titty-filled, accidental fucking push shots, wrestling back, this is the time now, because that pendulum, while not swinging back, people are definitely getting a little more like, I don't know if violent, titty-filled wrestling is the downfall of society, it's just like stupid fun. Well, you always tell when wrestling's huge,

like last night at the Garden, when they don't have the huge backdrop, they have the shorter one, because those seats are full. So if you watch CM Punk come out last night, he came out and turned around, and he looked at the camera that was behind, and it's just a sea of people.

19,000 people went to wrestling last night at the Garden. Raw. And it was a good show and he pulled it off. Show team. So it's a three hour show, right? Yeah, I think so, yeah. Three hour show, it is pretty funny in a three hour show though.

It's like at this point, four maybe wrestling matches. Like most of it is just like storyline. Well, last night was a lot more wrestling because they had the cage match with CM Punk and Seth at the end. And not to spoil it, Roman came out. Oh. And dragged Seth,

dragged him out of the cage. Oh, then Draft Kings owes me a little bit of money. I bet on that. I uh. Last night would have been a great one. 15 to one, Roman Reigns comes in the cage match. Um, cha-ching. So, yeah, so the Schultz thing was great,

just except for that his part had to be standing in the corner with his hair all messy and watch another man beat up a man for him. Yeah. Go ahead, play it. I think Logan and him are good friends though. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they've podcast and stuff. Yeah, that's all.

No, Schultz did the fucking... He did it. When he takes this, gets thrown over the side here, which you know, we're fucking 40 something years old at this point, like he gets thrown over, then he gets picked up and he does the roll into the ring, great, gets up and he's getting ready to go for the suplex and that's when the guy comes in. It's the moment when the crowd can turn on you when they say, okay, here he is and then

he goes, yeah, we're not here to see, he said something too. Schultz? Yeah, he said something about Ohio which was kind of stupid. Yeah, we gotta take a shot, those Ohio boys. He took a shot at Ohio and then he said something, then he was like, we gotta take a shot. Those Ohio boys. He took a shot at Ohio, and then he said something. Then he was like, we're here to see AJ Styles. It was kind of like, you know, I wish it was the Rock. I wish it was totally.

Are you guys from Cuyahoma Falls? Oh. Yeah, it was pretty good. It'd be funny if he suplexed him and Schultz's mustache came off. Some one piece. No! God. I know who I want to see.

I want to see AJ Styles. That's what I want to see. Oh, right on the microphone. That didn't feel good. I don't like his mom jeans either. Yeah. Schultz really is just wearing a nice pair of reasonable jeans. He's wearing a reasonable jeans.

I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans.

I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't know if he's wearing a nice pair of jeans. I don't feel good. I like his mom jeans either. Yeah. Schultz is wearing a nice pair of reasonable jeans. He's wearing reasonable jeans. He's a father. He's embraced fatherhood. He's selling it. Yeah, no, I was saying he's doing the whole thing. He's selling it. And he's getting ready to go for that fucking loop.

And then even the way he throws him down when he throws shows down He goes down good. He does the whole thing good Yeah, he's selling it. He does good and he just chills there. Yeah He goes down and then but when he gets up he just sits there and just claps for a man Handling it for him. I wish that he finally a man. I wish that he I wish that he did something I wish that he got up and threw a kick or something. Right, that's what I'm saying. Why wouldn't he?

Yeah, see what I mean? He's like, yeah, cheer for my boyfriend. Exactly, he should have gone under his legs or something. Take part in the jumping. Does he have to rehearse this? Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. I think they do.

Can I say something? I don't know if they did. They might have talked this out because he Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think they, I, can I say something? I don't know if they did it. They might've talked this out because he didn't, he didn't do a move. I'm going to drag you over, throw you a ring, about to do one. They're just going to go chill because if he did something like, if he was going to hit Logan, he'd have to rehearse that. You know what I mean? Boyfriend's back and you're going to be in trouble. Damn that's great. Yeah. Can I see a question here? Who's Simon Gotch?

Because someone wrote, why is Logan beefing with Simon Gotch? And I have to see who they think Andrew Schultz is. Who's Simon Gotch? Nice. He's a wrestler? Yeah. That really good. First of all, this guy, it must suck such dick to be in great

shape, exercise all the time, and that's the unfortunate natural shape of your chest. That sucks when that happens. When someone gets built and then you find out they just have an awfully shaped chest. He's a strong man from the circus chest. The Rock got surgery, I believe.

Rock got his titties fixed. Yeah, he got surgery, because when he would get like jacked, like he always had like a little party cone on the front. Yeah, yeah. Because he was in football and he did all that shit. And then when he came to wrestling, he had bitch tits. Got him fixed. That's why he started wearing Versace shirts.

To cover his scars. Oh, really? Yeah, because he had the shirts to cover his scars. Oh really? Yeah, because he had the, in his nipples. Oh they moved his nipples. Well they went in it and sucked some bitch tit out and gave him good titties. And now he's got a fucking, now he's just jacked exactly the way a chest is supposed to look. But this guy's chest, that just sucks.

Yeah I know. That's Mexican build. And he's, and he's in shape. He's in really good shape. He's in really good shape It's a fantastic shape for a Mexican wrestler Mexicans don't really get full in shape Yeah, there was a chest is droop is a droopy Mexican chest. Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna be down here little me Yeah, poor guy poor guy and I mean this from the guts is in shape as that guy is I wouldn't switch bodies because of his awful tit.

Well, there's something that happens to wrestlers later in their career where their tits separate. And like Jericho, pull up Jericho's chest right now. We had to have a surgery or something, he had a real major problem I think. No, it happens to a bunch of people where their chest just goes separate. I don't know what it's called.

This thing had a cave in, but his is caved in. Yeah, but that happens to these guys. He's actually a muscle rip. I think this is what happens. It's nerve damage. Is it? Yeah, that's what it says. Yeah, look at that.

It's weird. You know? From years, and then, oof. That's heavily doctored. I don't know about that. Oh Rob, suck my titties, suck my titties. and then oof that's heavily doctored I don't know about that Young Chris Jericho yeah when he was the lionheart in WCW Man the long hair that gorgeous face that sick bod He's on his great triple H to used to be a real heartthrob

Now he's like a fucking shaved head weird fucking fat-faced lunatic. His voice is all scratchy His real name is Paul of esc. Yeah Fucking Canadian jerk off if we went last night we would have fought we would have been on TV We should have went dude. What's what Christine, look up, go to SeatGeek and what's happening tonight. Let's do something tonight. You have to do your show. Were they still filming that movie?

No, I have to do my show. Movie's over? Yeah. They finished the movie? They finished the movie. That fast? Well, they finished the seller part of it. Oh, that's not the whole movie

doesn't take place at the seller? I don't think so. I don't know. Did they involve Esti? Is Esti in it this time? I don't know. A lot of comics from the seller in it except from wow Do it under crashing and they had to sit there and wait for Estes to nail her line Yeah, what was making me furious line? I don't know something shitty. She was a heckler in the audience for Rachel Feinstein

Yeah So weird I think I just saw Aaron Berg in an episode the premiere episode of daredevil Absolutely, he's a cop. No, he's not even a cop. He's a in the premiere episode of Daredevil? Absolutely. He's a cop? No, he's not even a cop. He's a construction foreman. I had to look up to make sure it was him at the end of the episode, but it was in fact him.

I watched episode one, is he in episode two? Must be two. He was in one of the first two. One or two. It was one or two. It's a good gig. I think it may have been one, but yeah, it comes out. But here's what's crazy about it.

No, it is two. Are you about to say the same thing, though? Christine, in fact, bring it up. Bring up Daredevil and find Berg's part. And it's an outside scene. And the thing, here's what's crazy. I'm pretty sure they dub over his voice. Stop it.

I think you're right. I think it is not his voice. That's why I had to're right. I think it is not his voice at all. That's why I had to look up and see if it was Berg because when I saw the scene I was like, well that's not his voice at all. They didn't like my voice. Why you coming over here? What an insulting humiliation if this is what's going on.

But I'm pretty sure I'm right about this. I mean, you know the scene, Bobby? It's a detour. You gotta get outta here. Let me set up the scene. All the guys are here? Yeah. Go get them. We have a detour. You gotta get out of here. Let me set up the scene guys are here Go to go get him. We have a great geo president Derek Dresher. Are they gonna do the gauntlet beyond the gate boys? We have to introduce the gauntlet when they have to hear the gauntlet the next week We begin the gauntlet when we do the gauntlet try it. Let's do a prototype gauntlet

Not into it. We haven't talked about it. We haven't built it up. Yeah, we haven't talked about it No one knows what we're talking about yet. But you'll see. OK. You listen on Thursday, you'll understand what's going to be happening on Monday. Oh, you're going to understand. But do we have guests on Monday? Mmm, shit. Anybody on Monday?

We can make it. We can make a guest come in on Monday just to practice gauntlet on him. We'll have Big Jim come in. Maybe Big Jim. I like Big Jim to be part of the gauntlet. Maybe like a Justin Silver or something. You know what I mean? Justin Silver would be great,

but he'd enjoy the gauntlet too much. Absolutely. We want somebody who's gonna be uncomfortable in the gauntlet and then maybe find their way in the gauntlet. Well first things first. You wanna do a soft launch. The soft launch though is not for negativity.

Right now we need, it would be nice if it goes well with the Justin. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, sure. Like if it goes well and then it's gonna be funny when we blow Tom Poppa's mind with it one day. You know what I mean? Or we make Gavin Rossdale pop a stitch.

Because he doesn't understand why I'm bumping my dick into his leg over and over again because his hallways are very tight. Yeah, Tom Poppa would actually, his real self would come out. Okay, okay guys, all right now. That's plenty now, okay. Woop, now. Okay. I saw something they said, Wendy Williams threw a sign out of her window that says, help me, and then was taken away by

an ambulance. Yeah. She's going through some real drama. She was in her room and she held up a sign on the window. She insists she's not, like what if she, she doesn't have Alzheimer's or whatever. That's her crazy? Yeah, no, she's crazy Now they're getting a new test. They want to test her but if she walk is looks like she's up and about though She's in the window. She's uh sure right. I heard she did an interview. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she did But her eyes are all still buggy. She goes. I'm perfectly fine. I don't know what I was talking about But hasn't her eyes been like that Yes, that's cuz she has Graves' disease, I believe.

So her eyes bug. What is it? Graves' disease, it's called. Makes your eyes bug out? I think so. I want that. Graves' disease? I know, I want to believe that everybody who has bug eyes

has it. Is that the lead singer of that pentagram has it? Right? He has that shape? I think so. Kurt Metzger probably has it. Nate's got it. Anyone who's got big bulbous eyes to come out of their head

Shit what do you think I do think black Lou went out there to get him and they robbed him these guys can't turn it off Criminals to the very goddamn. Who do we got coming in Geo present Derek Trasher the on the gate boys Sell buddies. That's right youtube.com slash on The Gate podcast. Very, very funny guys. And great dudes. And what stories. Yeah.

I mean, Derek is the muscle and Gio is the brains. Yeah. Right? Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. If it was going to go down, if they were tangoing, cashing it, I would say that Derek is tango. No.

Who was Sylvester Stallone? I think that was Tango, he's Tango. He was Tango, Sylvester Stallone's Tango. We're trying to figure out in your guys' prison escape team up who's Tango and who's Cash. Bobby and I agree, Derek's probably the muscle and Gio's the brains guy. I don't know about that.

Is that the movie where they zip line with a belt across like a telephone line? Yes it is. Whoever came up with that idea, I'm that guy. Yeah, okay, that was Tango. He's the brains and Derek's the muscle, but not to say that Derek doesn't come up with a good idea every once in a while.

That's true, every once in a month. Derek is, because he's so smart that sometimes he gets confused in his smartness, and he's so, well what if we do this? He's like, you know what? Derek, that's a great idea, kid. And he goes, is it? And he gets proud of himself. I'm like, now you're thinking out of the cell box. Look at the brains of the outfit. He goes, we're gonna be up here for a while. Maybe I run out of one vape.

Why don't I bring a second vape? That's the kind of shit I'm talking about, man. This guy's on it. One of those is completely dead. Look at you, Derek's sitting there with probably one vape like an ass. I'm double fisted. He brought a second vape in case he

needed to exchange it for goods. Oh, that's possible, right. And then you give someone the bunk one. You don't tell them. You show them in the one hand that it works. Yeah, it works when I gave it to you. That's what I do when I'm out and people actually hit my vape I give them the dead one. Oh, it's great. Who this that's the beauty of vape is that it's not a bum ever as no bum ever asked you for a

Dude, they always ask you for cigarettes, but no one's ever go. Let me get a whack of that They got their own vape and and they're just asking you to hold their charger. I don't know, dude. Bums are getting aggressive. I told you, I had one ask, I was like, you got money? I go, I got nothing, man. He goes, I got Venmo. I was like, I do too, but what the fuck?

I'm not Venmoing you money. The beauty is I have Venmo, but I don't know how to work it. So that's the real thing. I have Venmo, I go, I couldn't guess how to do that. You should be proud of yourself. You understand Venmo, I don't. What was the guy who said, give me your phone? And then the guy sent money.

He's like, give me your phone. And the guy grabbed the phone and just sent himself like $500 in Venmo. And gave him the phone back. Yeah, like somebody was like, didn't we talk about that? I don't know, we saw the thing where the guys now in Times Square, like, and't we talk about that? I don't know. We saw the thing where the guys now in Times Square,

like, and we can see if we find more of these, like pleasant, non-violent robberies, which is like the threat of things. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The guy walks up to him and he just goes, I mean, they're filming it. He's filming it, the guy who's doing the robbery films it to show you what he's gonna do,

and he just bullies this white kid, and he goes like, you know, and he goes, just give me the money in your wallet, man. Just give me your wallet and give me all the money and he goes like, and the guy's like, that's cool man. He goes, could I just like, you can care if I keep like the things. He's like, yeah, just give me the money, man. Just give me the money right now and put it in the, and the guy just like, I'm not gonna make you replace all your cards. And I, and genuinely like, the kid's so happy to be out of it. It's the same concept on the other side

of thanking a police officer after he lays five fucking tickets on you, because you're like, well, at least I'm not being taken in. This could have gone worse. So you thank him for it. It's that same idea. He's just like, he's accepting these half hug handshakes,

because it's like, you could have killed me, I guess, and you didn't. I just, I don't. It's like those pedophiles that get beat up instead of arrested. Like, oh, this could have been worse. This could have been worse. This could have been worse. I could have got arrested and raped in prison.

And beat up more. I just saw, I can't imagine coming from a world where someone's like, hey man, give me that. And I just. Yeah, cause you're a criminal. Just give it to them. I feel like. No, no.

Because every man, yeah. I don't understand what they're doing. You come here with no gun, no knife? You're on the other side of that. You understand how it works. Yeah, I go, no, no, I do that to you. Right. Yeah, exactly. Nobody's I do that to you, right? No, I'm walking up to you going give me your money

Your personality Bobby is not gonna take that with the threat of a guy just walking up to you I must say I don't know if the guy even said he had a gun in this thing It was just like that. Let's just not make it a problem even to find out just give me the stuff and the guy was Like sure man, it's like appreciate you asking like that god damn and he just fucking takes it but I don't come from that like yeah think now I said if someone has a gun if it's fake or not and flashes some sort of a gun I'm probably gonna be like yeah I'm giving I'll probably get away at your office and now I don't know in the middle of Times Square if I would necessarily because I'm like that's a real scene place but if you caught me on a fucking down a road there's only two other

people on or or something, I go, in two seconds, I'll give you my shit. 10 years ago. And I'll shake hands with you for not killing me. 10 years ago, I would have fought, but after getting pistol whipped, I'm like, no, I'll just give it up. It's no big deal.

You got pistol whipped in comedy life? No, no, no. Oh, good. I was like 20. Or you were watering flowers in front of your house. There's some shit, right? No. I was in front of a drug spot.

Watered flowers? I thought you were doing like yard work or something. Why you gonna do it like that, dude? Why you gonna put that in our heads now? You were in a... It's like I was signing up for grad school. Yeah. Didn't this happen in Harvard? You water flowers, bitch?

Didn't this happen at your job? Hey, how'd that happen? No, I was in front of my friend, my cousin's house, who's a known, big known drug dealer. And I think it was just a mistaken identity, and this random kid just saw me there, and he's like, oh, let me rob him. That's the Dominican who makes all this money.

And then he pulled out the gun, and I tried to grab it from him. Jesus Christ. And we were fighting over the gun for a second, but I was only holding on to his baggy ass hoodie sleeve. And in the fight, he ended up hitting me in the mouth and it like knocked my teeth out, busted my lip open. Big gun, big gun.

Yeah, it was, the shit had to be like a 50 cal. I just saw it. Yeah, yeah. It looked like a 50 cal. It was a machine gun, right? It was huge. You know how fucking, See, he pulled out a rocket launcher

and pointed it at me. He was pointing a bazooka whip. Yeah. Yeah. You ever got bazooka whip? Yeah. You ever got pistol whipped with a gatling gun? I would have rather got shot. I thought I was getting shot. Did you have to go back in there with no teeth now? Yeah.

You go back in and be like, what happened? I got a pistol whipped. What is it, the Old West? Who pistol whipped anybody? At the end of the film Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger, I always called what he pulled out to shoot to the house a bazooka. That wasn't a bazooka. RPG. He shot a fucking four missile rocket launcher on his shoulder. I forgot, he sent off four different missiles.

Oh the quadruple barrel one. It's not a stinger right? It's like an anti-aircraft gun. I think it belongs on a helicopter, quite honestly. And he just picked these, held it up. He's like, trying to shoot this fucking helicopter gun from my shoulder. Isn't that because Stallone, didn't Stallone use like a big 50 cal, like, mount build gun? Yeah, he hand held one.

In Rambo, right? He hand held one, and then Schwarzenegger was like, what, he wanted to do something bigger. He needed big guns. So he just had a, Dude, commando is like a huge part of my childhood. I love that fucking I love them first of all you're getting old John I used to watch it all the time They knew how to hit touch my heartstrings. You took you took what you stole my dreamboat

Are you out of your fucking mind taking with smaller? She's so beautiful. Yeah, and she was like 11 at the time Yeah, that's the thing that bugs me. She was a kid. I was a kid So was I and you took my you took my girlfriend from my imagination. I wasn't Your crush on the Olsen twins was inappropriate I should have been dating Alice from Brady Bunch more appropriate. It was. Talk about, and we've talked about this before on the show, but the come up of that,

to luck out with someone, I mean, she's really put me through with such an emotional world coaster that Alyssa Milano. But coming out of the gates on Who's the Boss, I was like, she's the most beautiful girl ever. And at my age, I wish I was in school with this girl. She's a dream. And then went on to do that movie,

The Fear, when she jumped out, and started doing movies where she was showing her tits and bush and all kinds of shit. So a lot of times you don't get to grow up with them and seeing that. You're like, oh, am I a perv? Because when I was young, Crush was a 14 year old girl with some melano.

It's like no, she grew with me and then started giving me real ways to perv on an adult. And that's good of her. The vampire movie. Even though now she would hate everything about me. Oh that was one of them. Bracing the Vampire was one of the first. Poison Ivy.

I ever jerked off in my grandmother's house. And I still feel terrible about that. You shouldn't see alive at the time she's upstairs with my grandfather she watched the only way you could finish I was in the basement there was no lotion just fucking Ben Gaye was in poison ivy now I was worried embrace of the vampire embrace the vampire terrific film starring her and the girl from the Golden Child and here's the deal I watched that on regular TV,

like HBO, no rewind. So I had to, on the fly, had to make a really fast decision. Like I was like, I think I might, am I gonna? I'll be able to bless a shot of it. I'm gonna have to jerk off, because it was a quick lesbian scene. Oh, is that what it goes? There's like two or three scenes in that one,

two or three scenes. I jerked off at the beginning one, when she came up behind her. That one is that what it goes? There's like two or three scenes in that one. Two or three scenes. I jerked off at the beginning one when she came up behind her. That one, that's the one. This is the one. This is the scene. This is the scene that I, and that's the girl from Golden Child,

which I wanted to see her boobs. Well, she shows her boobs in Golden Child. I don't care if my grandma was coming. Wait, she shows her tits in Golden Child? Yes. Remember, she's all soaking wet through a white shirt the whole thing. It's his dream when he has a dream. Yes, yes, and then she dies. She shows her tits in Golden Child? Yes. Remember, she's all soaking wet through a white shirt the whole day. It's his dream when he has a dream. Yes.

And then she dies. She shows her boobs here. But I mean, this was awesome. It's crazy. There's no way out. If my grandmother was walking down, if I heard her walking down the stairs, I still would have met Jerky. I would have let her catch me.

No, no. That's Alyssa Milano. Robert! It's Samantha. Samantha. I mean, come on dude. Wait, so is she a vampire here? Not yet.

Not yet. She becomes a vampire. So I have a friend that actually had sex with her. Melissa Milano? Yeah. My buddy Mark. Really? When?

Probably 20 years ago, 25 years ago, yeah. Maybe more, yeah. He was a big, handsome, half Puerto Rican, Probably 20 years ago 25 years ago. Yeah, maybe more. Yeah Big handsome half Puerto Rican half Dominican guy or a huge cock. He had sex with her in Mexico They just met it was like a hook. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Hang on one second Christine. Let them talk put that button What's wrong with you I never saw this but For me, it was the devil's advocate All the sex scenes in the devil advocate that were insane and like That one where there was like an orgy going on the devil's orgy. That's pretty great That was insane. But to me what was the and I'm telling you I think when devil's advocate came out

I had to do a pause screen jerk, which was still very blurry to that was crazy Charlize Theron, right? So hot just it's a split second scene, but you see Bush, Cooch, Tits, and she's all carved up, which doesn't make it worse somehow. And then it becomes another naked girl. So you see two different naked girls. Bobby, you're locked in. I'm sorry, guys.

You're locked the fuck in. Actually, the end of the scene when she gets her books and leaves. Did you finish? It's the hottest part. She grabs a nice little stack of books. Before, girls, we had backpacks. Oh, man. What a great scene. So is this guy a vampire or he looks gay? She gives a nice little stack of books before girls we had backpacks

I mean what is this guy vampire? He looks gay. Yeah. Yeah, they're all gay vampires Yeah, is there any not gave him? Yeah, I don't think it was a straight one He got like straight sucker tit for real. I know he's not even a big actor either No, it's just some guy who has this memory of being right by her pussy and sucking her tit for real This is very reminiscent of like Skinamax. Remember Skinamax? Skinamax was actually, this is 100% what this is. He saw that in the script and was like, awesome. That dude is definitely homosexual. 100%. That is insane. He's not even licking that tit right.

It's a sag law. You have to only have a homosexual lick a tit. Yeah, I'll do it if he's gay. That's it. Why is the Indian burning the tit? have a homosexual lick a tit. I'll do it if he's gay. That's it. Man, and she's now. Why is the Indian burning the tit? And now, this was for a film called Embrace the Vampire that only three people saw and about 200 people jerked off to. And it was like five seconds of vampire stuff.

It's an absolutely terrible film, and she. She licked her armpit, dude. What's wrong with that? She's judgmental of us. What's wrong with that? What the fuck is going on? That's Alyssa Milano, or is that? fuck is going on? That's Alyssa Milano? First of all, that is, that is,

that's Alyssa Milano? You wanna fucking make, I don't know what she looks like. You wanna make a girl cum, lick her armpit, finger her, and eat her armpit out like a vagina? Jesus Christ, Bobby. I'm telling you right now.

Was that always your move? It's not my move. Eat them out and tickle them? No, lick, eat their armpit while you finger them. Go, listen to me. It's not gonna tickle? Bobby, I'm not armpit while you finger them go listen to me I'm not doing it listen to me your tongue's gonna go numb from their deodorant Yeah, don't fucking wipe the deodorant off you what is wrong with you? So you want me to scrub their armpit? Oh fucking like it wipe it off clean it off

I'm willing to listen. I'm a wife. Hey listen to me. Thank you Jay for being willing You clean off the armpit a little bit, and then you go in there. With what? Your little face cloth. Wipe it off. So I have to, okay. Doesn't matter, go get a little face cloth, wipe it off, kiss her, blah, blah, blah.

Get in there, and lick it, and get in there. They're gonna be tickled. A girl feeling her being finger popped, and being ticklish at the same time Dude, they'll lose their fucking mind might be so women over 18 are into this you have to be 42 You're a very handsome guy I've always been too fat to approach a woman with the idea of can I wipe her down before I go? You mind if I baby wipe your armpit? It was hey or what I know you're making a lot of concessions being with me But would you care if I clean your armpit so I can fucking suck it?

Yeah, this was great. Oh listen Milano getting naked was a huge huge thing. I that was a great scene I would also this is back when movies like I said you couldn't just watch this again That you didn't you didn't have this tape. It was like something you had to catch and when it was coming on. Like 1 a.m. on HBO Saturday night, some shit like that. Pam Anderson did that one called Snapdragon, terrible film. Never saw it, what was that one? It was starring the father from Firestarter

and Keith David. It's the flip side of whatever the black guy is. One's David Keith and one's Keith David. One's the guy who's, that's's frank and beans from something about Mary is That's Keith David and David Keith. I believe is the white guy from is the white guy from And also officer in a gentleman not just the father and fire starter But I saw fire starter a lot and never really quite saw officer in a gentleman. I made my choice firestarter a lot and never really quite saw Officer and the Gentlemen. I made my choice.

So did Jacob. But he just they it's like a him and Pam Anderson fucking a bunch movie. It's him and the guy in Breaking Bad who played one of the big like drug dealer guys Stephen Bauer. Oh yeah yeah from Scarface. Scarface. Who played Manolo yeah. Stephen Bauer also I think fucks her in this movie. And it was young, hot, Pam Anderson, like fresh off Tool Time.

She probably got the part. It's one of those things that happened where she got popular, and then they release a movie that was probably never even going to come out. Just some hunk of shit straight to video. And then it comes out. They've done it with a lot of people. When they get famous.

What was it called? Snapdragon. Snapdragon. That's a great name. I've never heard of it. It's terrible. I know, but I want to get some of that Snapdragon. Should they show her Snapdragon in it?

They don't have to show her pussy, but it's like sex scenes. I would imagine that would be like Asian porn. Well, you could go watch C. Payham Anderson, Naked Always, and Playboy. There was no problem. This was the only chance you're going to get to see where it seemed like she was fucking. Right. Then the grainiest video ever came out of her blowing, uh, Brett Michaels.

And then the porn tape came out and it didn't matter anymore. No, this mattered. Yeah. Well, she had a tape with Brett Michaels too? Yeah, she sucked up Brett Michaels and she was married to Tommy Lee. They gave each other hepatitis C, I believe. So, but this was when she was genuinely stunningly hot. That's actually her hair.

Yep. That's not like she changed everything. So she's in a movie that's coming out, and from what I understand, it's getting good reviews. It's out. Oh, it's out? It's the last showgirl. It might be Oscar nominated.

Yeah. I heard she crushed it. Does that have to do anything with the first showgirl? With the girl from Saved by the Bell? No, it's called the last showgirl and I'll tell you what it actually is. I'm gonna watch it and I know I'm I hope she's a fantastic actress in it because it's crushing to see that she is now not only accepting how she looks in her age but she's leaning into like that she's gonna look kind of haggard as like a washed up show girl. And I mean, this is still the picture I see of her in my head when I think of her. The common attractions I saw, she looked like weather beating.

You would be like, oh, she's been clean off meth for like six months. That's what she looked like. Even in the vorat movie. She's just getting it back together. The vorat movie she was still a little leathery. Is this the new movie that she's in? Yeah.

Is that Batista? That's Dave Batista. Yeah, Batista's become pretty fucking good. But I mean Pam I know man. How is it the same person? I know on doesn't make sense I'm not crying for myself so much as my wiener you see Yeah, I mean the scene you already know she doesn't she goes and doesn't show she walk goes back home She's wet food for the cats heats up some fucking listen I

We all remember, what's her name, young Ginger Lynn from pornography. When you were young, you'd find porn when you were younger in the 80s. My favorite. Ginger Lynn, so hot. And then she shows up in that fucking Metallica video, and you're like, ooh, time's doing a little something. And then we interviewed her like four years ago,

and you're like, this is someone's nana. What happened, dude? She was one of the hottest chicks in porn. She was. Oh my god. I know, dude. That is not the same girl from Snapdragon. Jay, kiss your dream girl.

I know, dude. I couldn't. I bet her spit always tastes like butterscotch. Look at her right there in Snapdragon. Yeah, Stephen Bauer about to fucking. Kissing one of the worst actors ever. Who, Manolo? Oh, he stinks.

Ah, come on. Tony. He is a pretty horrible actor. He is, yeah, he sucked in Scarface. Oh, Scarface. He's a character. Fantastic in Breaking Bad. You gotta go to get him in a little.

That was pretty realistic. Gotta use the pussy. Fantastic in Breaking Bad. Yeah, yeah, Breaking Bad is all right, but Scarface, he stunk. Now that scene with him on the bus when he goes What did you tell him? He goes I told him I was in I told him what you told me to tell him I was in sanitation because I told you to tell him he was in a sanitary

Dominican the Cuban the Cuban guys Me I also forget that too ginger Lynn stayed too long So she's got plenty of porn where you're still like Look all the way on the right go all the way the right The other side all the way to the right and then down no no yeah, yeah that right there Oh, yeah, where she's sitting on now not that She was sitting on a dildo, and it was just it doesn't look awesome If she was so cute when she was young yeah look at the one in where she's in the pink with the curly hair. She looks like that's a perm

I can I just say something though if that was your neighbor Go on Yeah, all right, here's the deal that's your neighbor. Yeah, you move in she's nice. Hey, what's going on? Hey, Jay, blah blah blah a couple months goes by, blah, blah, Jay. And then you look in the backyard, she's jumping in a jacuzzi with nothing, right? And then she goes, she waves over and she goes, Jay. She was so cute. Not that girl, the other one.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jay, what are you doing? And Christine's not around, you're like, oh, I'm just hanging out. She's coming in, coming to the jacuzzi. Would you not go in the jacuzzi? The answer's a thousand times yes, I'd go. But the reason, but here's the reason and well, here's the actual truth to that

15 years from now. Yes, and She's gonna be No, no, I'm saying if it was just her right now, she's frozen in time. Okay, right if I was 15 years older than I am now no-brainer and somehow 20 years younger than I am now when I was like very young like Starting off getting pussy and stuff. I Just would've right you go I'll try that Yeah, and I would have no problem keeping a bone or 40 even if I didn't like it and it wasn't that fun

I would get through it and I would come and then I'd be like oh what did I do and then I'd probably go over again next time she offered him have some regular thing with his old geez but I just don't even mind she has a dangling labia she always makes pies and you want soup but like 32 31 maybe to to like, like now, I would not go over there if she was calling me in a thing now. Now listen, this one, the old her with the bush and the whole thing, fantastic.

That new, that one now, you go to your house now, you're alone, Christine's gone doing skank-festy things and with her, with Rebecca, and you're home, and you're friendly with her, you're knowin' her. You guys are cool. And you look over, and she's gettin' into jacuzzi, and she takes her robe, hang on, takes her robe off.

I didn't say anything. I know, but you had the face. Takes your robe off, and she doesn't know you're there, but you see her, you're just smoking a little cigarette outside. Keep the robe on, and we're talkin' maybe. If you take the robe on and we're talking maybe We take the robe off and I have to see it's like it looks like she has three tit shadows in each side

It's like each one just like that's crazy We leave the robe on Get into the jacuzzi with a wet robe and one fat tit comes out Yeah, half just a half a tit with the areola. Oh, I like that and then she looks up and she goes Jay and you go hey Gladys and she go and you go what are you doing I'm smoking a cigarette come on in jump in you wouldn't go over and jump in the jacuzzi he'd ask if she's wearing deodorant first right there that's all you're seeing over to the right that That one, that's what you're seeing. Oh, God. No, dude, no, she was an Iggy Pop. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Talking and while they were talking first of all, Christie Canyon looks phenomenal and they were both another porn star from that time She looks fantastic And they were both super fun and awesome

but it's just like when do you get out of doing this kind of pornography stuff because while they were doing and We couldn't hear them, but they kept talking ginger Lynn Remember this you started like backing up and like lifting her dress and showing like herself naked with her underwear on and showing Her tits a bunch couldn't hear us We couldn't hear her but we could all hear each other Like from the bonfire and I was just trying to explain the Dan's he's a little bit younger enough, and I was like dude If you told me ginger Lynn at one point will be Lifting her dress and we'd all be sitting here looking for it

I'd be like no way this is the greatest day ever and we'd all be sitting here looking for it. I'd be like, no way, this is the greatest day ever. And we're all sitting here kind of like, oh, ooh. Oh, come on, what are you doing? Stop doing that. It's like when you're high school cross, when you see them in like 35, and that's like after four kids,

and you know what I mean, their husband's in jail now. And like now they like. There is, 100% true, Yes. I have that exact story They every girl who I wrote a note to and had a crush on in high school. It would Know I would not I mean like now my friend Jamie stayed very pretty But the ones I see from my school like they really it's not even the same human in fact there's one I looked up I can't believe we were in the same grade there's a lady it's so gay that you wrote notes

no I walked up to her not even do you like me now gorgeous yes or no gorgeous kid gorgeous I used to write notes to the drug dealers. Yeah Yes or no, but I never maybe Click yellow green I didn't do I would I would uh, you know, it's full of plane No, not fold it up just as much as I could fold it, write their name on it. And then just be like, you know, before you go, it's like, oh, here you go. What would you write on it? Huh?

Silly, lovely little man. Well, everything from, uh, everything from just like a flat out, like, would you like to... Get a sandwich? No, here's the problem. You wanna go get a Philly cheesesteak? This might be, this may have been... I was going to Ischibibble's after school. I got an extra one in my bag if you want to join me at the bench for lunch.

It might be a little cold, but it's still good. It's actually better cold. Is that how Jay got cheeks with cheesesteaks? If I had a dad around to teach me any kind of game, it wasn't... My thing was... I feel like everyone did this, but maybe it was very like me. Everything was fucking definitive especially grade school definitive so you'd send a note to someone who didn't quite had no idea I even liked them or if they thought maybe I did because I was giving that off

somehow. The note was like right to the like hey boyfriend girlfriend hey long time commitment. Did any of those ever work or no? Yeah work with Christian Hey, I've seen this other bra, but I kind of like boyfriend girlfriend It was sort of that point but then I would when I started doing that too much that's when I plagiarized the song Amanda by Boston and change Change the name to Deanna. Change the name to Deanna. I'm leaving, I'm gonna walk out guys. Wow, you know that story.

I know but I hate it. I'm gonna take you by surprise and make you realize Deanna. Fuckin' J. Thank God you came. I did something like that. You recorded yourself doing that? No, he wrote it. No, no, no.

He wrote it. I wrote, I was, You recorded yourself doing that? No, he wrote it. No, no, no. He wrote it. I wrote, I was, my stepfather had that album and I was listening to that song, I was on, and I was like, oh, here's a note, all right. And instead of, by the way, maybe just take like a verse of it. It's already going to be too heavy anyway. Right. There's a lot of love and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, yeah. But I'm throwing these verses. I did verse chorus verse chorus bridge chorus like it was like why is this note like he keeps you know I mean I presented like it's a poem it's clearly a song I thought none of them would know it

because it's Boston and we're children and my stepfather it's his band that he likes from the 70s and and they all knew it they all knew it and they sang it when they saw me walking down the hall laughing at me and I was like is that why you guys are idiots? Is that where you never picked up a pen or a piece of paper? I'm just gonna do crowd work. You know what, let me just. Oh man. When I was locked up when I was 19, I had hooked up with my high school crush. You guys are such fucking shit. It's the only way we can.

I was writing a letter. I had to stop. No, it works. It was worse in the letter. I had to stop. No, it works. It was worse than the letter. So I was locked out, this was in 2009, and that song, Michael Buble, Home came out. So I wrote out the entire lyrics to that song and sent it to her. And that was the last time she ever wrote me back.

Bro. Oh. That was the last time. Having somebody, like when I was in juvie jail, having a girl. Write you? Oh, yeah. For a couple of shit.

A little spray perfume on the letter? I used to have Denise Cantino from Ben Salem Like when I was in juvie jail having a girl right you shit I said Denise Contino from Ben Salem right outside of Philly. She was from Brooklyn, but she lived out there Yeah, I kept a hold of her just when I was in jail and rehab like a year and a half Cuz those little letters though when that would come in the mail and she would say all this shit that I love you And I blah blah blah, and you just read it would come in the mail and she would say all this shit that I love you and I blah blah blah and you just read it you know a guy I got this girl and as soon as I was out I was like fuck that bitch yeah I found those letters I should bring those listen it's a big girl pen piles while I was in jail yeah yeah yeah but that's the thing and it blows my mind that it still exists and still

happens and there's a TV show exploiting and showing you what happens and they still cannot seem to understand that this muscle bound fucking jacked Handsome tatted up guy isn't actually in love with a girl with a three inch gap in her teeth and and She has discolored underarm pits because her body rubs so much when she walks. They're like But you said we was going to have babies Denise Denise was kind of hot. I gotta say that you know, I would imagine you should look I wonder what she looks like now Let's find Denise Katina. I had she used to dress like Madonna. Oh, she's one of those Yeah, like a mesh and the little leggings.

And the gloves. 75 bracelets. Yeah, a lot of the times, like when you get pictures, you like to show them off to your boy, like, you know, I'm getting girls out in the town. But some of the girls I was writing to never saw the light of day. Oh, for sure.

I didn't show a single person. It's funny that you wrote a Michael Buble song to her. Word for word. Remember one time my girl picked me up from jail and she's playing music and Michael Buble was playing but I'm such an idiot I go who the fuck is Michelle Bubble? Michelle Bubble. Turn this shit off, yeah.

The funniest part is just hearing. I didn't know his name was Buble until right now. I thought it was Michael Buble. She told me, she told me Michael Buble. I wrote a poem, I wanna find this so bad. My first breakup when I got of all the rehab and stuff, I went out dating this girl and she went to fucking, fucking this other dude.

She went to college and joined a sorority and wanted to fucking hug him. She became a sorostitute. Yeah, exactly. I went to the library, I was so brokenhearted, I went to the library and it was cold raining out. And I wrote this poem that I thought, oh was something like my clout the clouds in my tea's gone cold clouds in my coffee

I think I stole that from a song that I heard you're so vain I had a dream there were clouds in my coffee Clouds in my coffee But I was taking so much of it by the things but I thought it was this most beautiful poem and I remember I left it on her door and I never heard from her, like she never She never responded Nah, she was getting fucked by Steve the hockey player

And Steve had a good laugh at that moment You think he showed him? Oh, 100%. I think the lesson is never pull your heart out to bitches. Oh, that, that, uh, supposed to be those lyrics that I sent to her. She showed to her friends all I went to, all them I went to school with and one of them I lost my virginity to. Oh, she's a girl. They were probably clowning her even more. And then after that, one of my best friends had a threesome with both of them. Aww. Yeah.

So she was worth the poem. Yeah. I like when the girls are worth the poem. I would take you through a list. I can't, I feel like I don't look as old as anybody who I went to high school with girls wise. Oh, they all look, they've been. Even like, I just saw pictures the other day

on Facebook of like, the girl that was like the holy shit girl, and she's holding it together. But it's still nothing you would overly like. I've seen a couple people from my high school that, and that, I've seen a couple girls I dated, and I was like, wow, I dodged a big bullet. I dodged a fucking bullet. Do you ever start like, wow, I dodged a big bullet. I dodged a fucking bullet. Do you ever start to think though,

maybe your pay were with you. Not even Jabba the Hutt, a piece of Jabba the Hutt. Like his arm, like you wouldn't even realize. You'd be like, that's Jabba the Hutt, no, that's just her face. My ex did the move. My ex, we got together, she got pregnant almost immediately. She lost weight during the pregnancy

which was concerning at one point and then had the baby gained a hundred pounds for our entire relationship and now is thinner than she's ever been her entire life. She went the opposite route. But so am I I guess too. I put her through that same thing as well. You know what I say a lot too on Facebook so far and Jay just realized oh I did the same Oh, yeah No, but I was a consistent fat the entire time. Yeah, she knew she was getting into she knew she flim flam to me She knows what she was getting on top of Weigh while you're pregnant. Oh, that's wild. It was wild. Yeah, that's kind of it was

Had the bomb machine. Yeah, she was kind of concerning. It was wacky, yeah. So she had the bump, but she... Yeah. She was like losing weight around, because the baby was fine. She was great. It was fine, but it was weird. Like on her arms, legs, and legs. She was like losing weight,

except gaining weight from the baby. It was very strange. But I think she was like a net total negative something when it was all said and done. Which is strange. Also, I didn't let her eat. I said... I said...

I shamed my daughter's mother to lose weight after the baby. Nice. So what do you gotta do? You what? Yeah. How'd you do it? How'd you shame her? Let me hear. I just constantly made fun of her weight. For being fat? Yeah. Like how? I just made fun of her. And she gained a lot of weight during her pregnancy, right? Yeah. She'd show her pictures of other people who had babies and be like, she seemed to pull together. I'm like, look at Evelyn. Why look at Evelyn my own I just like now you don't need to eat that god damn I hear you walking around the house By the way, this is Christy Canyon who debt Christy Canyon told you to come to the hot tub you fucking is that what?

She looks like now. Yes, you leapfrog over Dawn and how old is she? They gotta be 60 something she's's 60? She looks fucking great. Yeah, I'd step on Max's back and then step on Don's head to get over a fence. God damn right. And dive into the jacuzzi head first. And she, yeah. And she's back in, like, the Peter North fucking days of porn.

She's like 80s, 80s, maybe early 90s, but she was like all 80s. Big Bush. Oh, my God. Yeah, she's not bad. I know often. Titties are starting to get hit by of course. I like that. Yeah, bring up young Christy Canyon You know, it's a good way to shame a girl. You don't like a saggy girl a big saggy droopy. I love jammer I don't care. I love big natural. I love jammers. I like a big old vein. What do you call me? I love a tip vein. Yeah jammers. I call him jammers. I like a cancer. Good set will jam you up

The jams your radar. Yeah Jammers, that's my favorite name for them is when they call them village feeders I like I call them monkey makers Cuz when you grab Go go up. Oh my god, right? Yeah, I mean Yeah, I mean look at at the, she was, they were very perky there. She was pretty great.

I think this was too when we had them on that they confessed that James Conn blew Coke up their ass. Oh yeah, that's my point. I knew I liked him. Blew it up their ass? Is that the priest from the Exile? I knew he was one of my favorite actors. He's the greatest.

God damn it, what a fucking, that made me like him even more than that. Yeah. And he just passed too. That's the guy, the priest from the exorcist, right? No, no, no. James Conn was... Sonny Corleone, my godfather. Sonny. He was also, what was the other one? Misery.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Was he an easy rider too or not? I watched Hood movies as a kid. You're thinking... You're talking about boys in the hood? Yeah, leprechauns in the hood. But surprisingly, you thought he was Max Von Sydow. That guy! All right, my bad.

For some reason, I thought he was... That's great, Jay knew exactly who he was. He said they were on the side of the... On the pool side of the grotto, and he just blew coke up their ass. Jay, how the fuck did you know the priest from the ex's name? Max Von Sydow? I should have known I was wrong by the way Jay was looking at me and I was like, ah, yeah But Jay looked at you and then went Max fine side. Oh

Yeah, Jimmy Khan is ready blue coke up their assholes So who are the two dudes an easy rider then I could I thought he was in it Henry Fonda and Dennis Hopper no and no and Peter Fonda yeah Dennis Hopper and then Jack Nicholson was with them all yeah yeah Nicholas Nicholson was a badass movie yeah Peter Fonda Nicholson I mean that was it also when those girl we interviewed those girls this the time in porn was so they were like we really felt like movie stars it was like movie cameras they were shooting everything on.

They, it was like limos and dresses to beautiful dinners and things and people. Did they make a lot of money or? Like enough, like they were all doing pretty fine and like, they just said they were like stuck because there was like, you know, 20 girls total in the industry. You know, it wasn't like now it's just like,

any girl can turn on a computer and be like, what I shoved something up my ass, I'm a porn star. It's so funny though because they were all on the Valley side and then James Count all the other way on the Hollywood side, right? And what a great time to be, like you couldn't, that age. Oh no internet, no social media.

You got to be a real star. We got to do all this debauchery. No therapy telling these girls they have daddy issues, they were just chugging cock. They didn't know why no memes tell them about Toxic masculine no documentaries how you're a fucking cannibal. Yeah, you just got to do weird shit Those are murder documentaries. So they were just clueless. You know what Jack Nicholson is done in his career I can only imagine James Kahn blew coke up those girls asses that can only imagine The sun was shining Playing in the park

Playing in their rooms how many times do you think a woman asked Jack Nicholson to put his mash his face into her pussy? Here's Johnny I'd say a lot. I'd say at least 30. Can you say it please, Jack? At least 30 goes, all right. Hmm, hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

Well, that girl from The Shining fell off, too. Fell off? Which one? She was ugly from birth. She was always a little weird. She had Graves disease eyes. She was alright.

She looked like Sid from Ice Age. No she wasn't but she did age horribly. If I was in that fucking hotel late at night, I'd fucking throw one in there. What? No, I'd rather fuck one of those cobweb skulls or the guy in the squirrel costume blowing the butler. I'd rather fuck the of those cobwebs skulls. Or the guy in the squirrel costume blowing the butler. I'd rather fuck the black bartender.

Yes. She passed. Yeah. Well, I mean, compared to. So in The Shining, I would have had sex with her in The Shining for sure. No, in that picture, Derek. Not in the whole movie.

Not in the whole movie. Not the whole movie. But there are moments in the movie when I have sex with her, compared to now. Listen, correct. What, is she like a bag lady in the whole movie. Not the whole movie. But there are moments in the movie when I have sex compared to now. Is she like a bag lady in the right? That's her now. I don't know.

If you were living miles from civilization with your family and nothing but room, ghosts, the dead spirits of natives wandering around, imaginations, twins appearing out of nowhere, ballrooms being full of nothing, nothing. Those circumstances, I would fuck Shelly Doop. Show you what. I would.

But if you take away even one of those things, if all those things are happening, but there's no ghost balls happening in the main buffet hall, then I wouldn't fuck her. So you have to be fearing for your life. Yeah. It's gotta be like, you know what? I might as well fuck, we're not getting married. We're gonna die.

Wow. Jesus. Wait, that's her on the left? What is she fucking 95 years old? You gotta understand, actors is such a, listen man, you understand, actors, they don't make, you know, it's an actors. They don't make you think about it They'll get what may maybe a hundred thousand dollars for a movie back then or something like that Right that's 30% goes to the government. Yeah, 25% go agent manager lawyer

You're winding up with a little bit of it And then if you don't get a gig if you don't get a gig for a year or two, you're fucking done If you don't get a gig for a year or two, you're fucking done. I'm even more hurtful I just read this. She's 75 in that picture. She's two years younger than Ridge Voss in that picture. That's crazy. By the way, she, show you fall, aged to look like the lady who was in the bathtub in Room 237.

That's crazy. Oh my god. There was like a stand of hers that was... who was in the bathtub in room 237. That's crazy. Oh my god. There was like a fan of hers that was with her. They had to find her. She disappeared. Did she pass away? 2024.

RIP. We see them like, they're kind of like frozen in time in the works we've seen them. And then we go years without seeing them. Like I saw a picture of Sinbad, the comedian comedian And he was just mouth open in a wheelchair like he could barely move. He had a stroke. He had a stroke It's kind of sad He was a big part of my childhood too, we're gonna take a break real quick Now we have radio we have we have ads Who we have ads right now you have the first one I got you CJ little bit

You said you put a phonetic thing here for us. Yeah It's sane, right? Yeah, same. Why did you put the the I you could have just wrote the word sane Sane I spelled it a bunch of different ways so you can't mess it up. I Would have messed that up. You said it right, didn't ways so you can't mess it up. I would have messed that up. You said it right, didn't you? I would have said Sain. Well, I just remembered it. Did you?

Yes, I did. What's the other one? Den... Denube. Denube. Denube. Denube. Make sure you listen to the On The Gate podcast with Derek and Gio.

YouTube.com slash On The Gate podcast and follow them on social media at Geoprez86 and at Derek Drescher. They're hanging out with us for the rest of the show. We'll be right back It's the bonfire Prize and make you realize Deanna Brady I'm gonna say it like a man and make you understand Deanna Brady, Chris Brady's sister. I'll take you by surprise.