The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Man on the Inside (feat. Josh Adam Meyers)
Episode Date: March 2, 2022Josh Adam Meyers joins the Bonfire tells tales of a virus eye while trying to see the Feldog's 222 concert at The Whiskey in Los Angeles. Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 ...months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply: www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Ocarson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast. You can hear our full show every day on serious XM.
Go to seriousxM.com slash Bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big J. Ocarson Dan Soder.
Josh had a Myers here dude. How exciting.
My walk guy.
With your walk with your witch eye.
You know what Josh looks like though? my want guy with your walk with your witch eye. Damn, he looks worse than me. He looked better yesterday.
You know what, Josh looks like though.
Josh, in my mind, like Josh's headshot is Josh,
and then Josh went missing and then came back and he's healing.
And now this is what he looked because he's clean-shaved
and his eyes all wanked and you're like,
did you just get out of the hospital and they're fixing you?
Dude, I had to 127 hours.
I had to lap my arm off.
You found you on a raft in a sea,
and you're like, I was deteriorated.
You should draw like a scar that goes from like your forehead
to your cheek, like through your eye,
and tell people like, they go, what happened?
You go, I was deadly as catching a last guy.
Siemens don't tell, but just know it was bad.
Yeah, well let's just say there was a,
we were out at sea that he was just crap.
You can make up a whole story
Fix car like like where's all the crab legs? Oh, yeah, I'm all what happened here. I got a
Virus that attacked my chest and my eye specifically
He's allergic to this guy's calm
Dude I've worked my way through that. I've gotten the allergy test to make sure I can take that
Okay, I can I can swallow semen. I can't roll around on Kentucky bleeper. I will be an itchy boy
I landed in Los Angeles on Sunday and I was fine and then I meditated for 20 minutes when I opened my eye
I guess whatever plane of extension I've reached it just completely crusted my eye
Oh, well, why you were meditating probably a dude dunk this nuts on your face because he thought it was so queer
You were doing that, but also it's a good meditation. You didn't break
Yeah, remember that guy fucking asshole eyed you yeah
And then you were like you're like I'm a some astral projected
I'm not even he
I got rubbed into one I like I'm a some astral projected I'm not even he some happens to that guy rubbing do do on my I guess I got a they a spiritual bend I came up I came up I came up for
a two quick I got now I got to go to a my thing. Swim back. Hey, beat it, stranger.
What the fuck?
It's a-
What's my mantra word?
When you woke up.
Elemanope.
Elemanope.
Elemanope.
Sassafras.
Sassafras, Sassafras.
Give me down to when you left noodle.
Sassafrass.
When you left noodle, give me back.
When you opened your eye and it was just all puffy
where you were like, what the fuck?
Yeah, but I just thought it was an allergy.
And then I faced my sister as a doctor and she was like, it's pink? Yeah, but I just thought it was an allergy. And then I face time my sister's a doctor
and she was like, it's pink eye.
So she gave me medicine.
And then two days later, I got worse.
And this was crazy.
And this is how she-
She sister pranked you.
She gave me something else.
She's right off.
Yeah, take this.
She goes, it's medicine goes.
Why is it have scull and crawls bones on it?
When the pharmacist is gay.
Oh, it was made by a witch doctor.
The pharmacist handed it to me in a rubber glove.
It's a steam cup. Yeah, he handed it to me in a rubber glove. Steen, come on.
Yeah, he handed me with some kind of big metal pome.
So when you start taking medication,
you're like, I'm feeling better.
I love hypochondriac.
I love popping some fucking anibyodics.
Kill all the bad stuff in any of these.
You don't.
You don't.
You know if you get deep in't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, you don't, out in the shower. My fever was so high. Yeah. I was like losing consciousness in the shower. But you had that vision. Went to I did have that vision. Yeah. And then you
fire walked, but nobody pays to see my Jesus in toast.
God, Jesus seemed to me in toast. There was a line out the block for like a week.
Oh, guys, look, my duty stream from my baby wife. It's the Lord's Christ the Lord.
What?
Holy night.
There's a Friday.
But when you had your your shower fever,
which I don't have the game.
I had the game.
I had the house, but all.
And then get me a prescription of it.
Like by that night, it was one of those.
I was up all night,
like freezing and sweating.
It was that bad.
And then when I went to the doctor to get me in,
by that night, I could have worked if I wanted to.
You felt that much better.
It was crazy.
So when you, how bad I need to say that about it?
So when Josh takes it though, it goes the other way.
It went negative.
It was bad.
I got worse.
My I got worse.
Did you do the thing where you touched the mirror in the morning?
Like you're a monstrosity? You're like,
oh, no!
Josh is a brunvil fly.
The girl comes open up and says medicine cabinets, like finger nails, his back teeth.
He's like, it's the donut, then he's like,
it's gonna go that. You want to get some grub?
You know, sorry, you know life
Finds away
I know my sister on movie brunt will judge more doughnut
He's a fly I'm a teeth-a-fallen apple last me popcorn this jungle
You want to talk to that monoseo you want to talk about the spin doctors album
Carol King tapestry number four
So you sorry the newsman Sam champion
Me about sitting up as third album
Eric Dickerson I would love to break down the California raisins greatest hits
You're not having a little light snack. Yeah, I've been long Dickerson I would love to break down the California raisins greatest hits
Damn fly I crawled in the her transport a women now kind of Lisa Rice tell me how you thought of the smash mouth
When you so you wake up in your your hideous your a Look so bad free gonna leash dude. Was this the time we take my advice of wearing a phantom of the opera mask
Dude, I didn't have time. I didn't have time to do any of that stuff
Phantom of the opera morning. I woke up in the morning and I was like my eyes fucked up
And I was like I knew I had a full day. I was supposed to do your mom's house. I was supposed to do
The honey do and then I was like gonna go to the fucking thing tonight
the night
Hold me
The soul
The head
To the upper brother's head
When you went in Arizona
At house of comedy
Saturday
And not it calls to me
It dreams he came
Always that calls to me
Six months from now we're like dude where did Josh go and you go left New York?
He's actually doing a road show fandom of the opera, but it does a rock twist. No, he lives on it
Dude Josh go Josh. Oh, he's taking to the catacombs. Yeah, He's traveling around and rafting with long stick.
Yeah.
By candlelight.
By a lantern.
Dude, just joshin' a big fucking hood.
A druid hood.
Hey y'all, I'm the Phantom of the Opera.
Is this some chickie mat where she's like,
I don't know how you fell down here.
It's me, Phantom of the Opera.
I'm talkin' from the bass guitar,
as Rudy Sardzo from Quiet Riot.
We're talking about Mr. Big's debut. When you do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do only thing I was gonna do, it was really important was the Corey Feldman. So this after we talked to you on the show.
Yeah.
Wait, no, no, no, you called me, you called me,
but I actually had a friend,
Big shout out to DTLA, Eric on Instagram.
He's a huge fan of all of our shit.
He told me that the show was going on,
and so he was like, you need to go to that.
And so I was like, all right,
and then I need to even think about it again
until you guys reminded me, but I was like,
oh yeah, I'm going. So shortly after you called,
because you guys called in the morning, right? I mean, in LA time, it's the morning for
you. Yeah, because we were doing the two o'clock, it was pretty little Thursday. And I go to an
urgent care because my eye was so bad. Thinking in and out, but you know, half hour, give me a
shot, give me some new drops and I'm gone.
And the doctor from the urgent care walked in. I swear to you, like he walks and goes,
and I was like, what?
Sampamurri, you're the one who's been on the dial.
I'm a cross on it.
I said, I said, I said, I stick, butter.
The doctor who comes from a tiny show,
I say, you are bleeding like one of the
Hangers of death.
He goes, now sometimes he is in the form of
bombs bleeding. Sometimes it's a form of ass holize.
Your eyes look like the beating heart of a dead man.
And so he tells me immediately he's like you need to go to an emergency room get the fuck out of here
I'm not even a real doctor
These people think I had colds. I just give a fucking spray
And he's like you gotta get out of here
Sorry an outbreak outfit. Whoa, he just... Sorry! Cause you could...
Stray fucking Caesar's dealer.
Alright guys, that's it.
I'm gonna step out.
Jen's gonna be stepping in.
He looks at your eye and its veins are growing like in it.
Okay, okay.
Holy shit!
I think you have whatever species was?
Did not you partner ever figure that out.
Or couldn't what's the one she was good?
Natasha Henshtridge.
That was with species.
Yeah.
Species was the kiss through the back of the head.
Yeah.
F***.
And no problem with that.
Did you go to a...
Henshtridge was hot or day.
She was so hot, dude.
That was a early mass inventory thing.
And she would show and she would show clam. Yeah
Let's all take a moment
Tell her up put her up on the board one of the best
So I so I he says to me like I'm not gonna charge you you just need to go to emergency
I can fuck man. He literally he really really said was I can give you antibiotics and I can give you stuff
He goes I really think you need to go to the hospital though.
He's like, I would hate for you to get worse
and when you're dealing with the eye, you could go blind or this.
Did one eye Josh?
That's a fun guy though.
It's one eye.
I mean, I'd rock it.
You know, patch.
But I tried to do that.
Like as I was like driving to the emergency room,
I was like, is this what life's gonna be like?
I'm just closing my eye.
Well, my ear shut's down.
I've dreamed of that. Well, let me see. It be like? I'm just closing my mouth. Well, my ears just don't have a dream to that go,
well, let me see what's like only hearing half a thing.
Yeah, when you try to act like you've grown
as a person immediately, we go,
is this what life is now?
Yeah, it's gonna shut off.
You're so, I already started applauding myself
for the bravery I've been showing.
Yeah, we're such, I can do that.
I'm gonna be so brave with this one,
only hearing out of one ear, like the bravery,
I'm gonna show it to, by the way,
keep performing and getting on a stage where I'm gonna show to by the way keep
Performing and getting on a stage where I'm off balance But you know what it doesn't matter the art is what counts. He always comes out to the same song you two's vertigo
Now I'm always falling
I'm kidding guys. I'm figuring it out figuring it out. I got lifts in my shoes
Everything's fine I honestly the strings on both sides of my way
Everything's fine, everybody, don't worry
Don't worry, I bolt myself into my stool now
Yep, put that little clasp on there
And we are G2G, let me see
Yeah, okay, we're ready to go
Let me do some act-out movements
Let me see, I'm pointing at people
Have you fucked a black guy?
Is this an Asian girl?
Okay, you know what's that?
What's the montage of you on your throne?
To that dog?
He's doing that.
What's up everybody?
If you don't mind here, one of the guys who work here is gonna strap me in to the old
uh, to the old school here.
Hope you're feeling balanced and planted in the ground.
If you guys can not, if you guys can keep your clips below the table seriously it sends
me a whole like get dizzy as shit
Colin from a from a
Dirty podcast to being the face of people with vertigo jet helpers isn't slowing down anytime soon
filling arenas
stadiums
Doing shows only about vertigo
There's a lot of people out there off balance. There's new album.
Verdeco.
Verdeco.
Just supporting the Verdeco tour.
HBO presents Verde has it.
It's all Verdeco shit.
We go, can I get it?
Can you let it go?
Josh, I wanted to give you at least a vote on this, but I think I've been told what the
right answer is to this.
So come up on, I think this will be coming out
on the pre-record.
But we're doing the Kid Rock show.
I'm gonna tell you right now he's gonna agree with me.
I think so too.
When we do the jam afterwards, a Kid Rock's bar,
do no matter what that eye, it looks like you're angry.
No, it looks like you're angry.
You're like, what, eye it looks like you're angry
What what are you gonna fucking say right now? You really looks like you have at any moment you would bring up one of those old
357
You gotta grow a fucking curly mustache with that long guy dude you're looking a fucking like a western villain
He did you look like you lost a draw that came back. Yeah
like a western villain. He's like, dude, you look like you lost a draw
that came back.
I love it.
Yeah.
Took son of a bitch, took my eyes.
It's all right.
To his family, you're talking about black,
hard mires.
That son of a bitch.
It will get the same, it will be the same.
This is someone took a nap.
I hear enough about these queer cowboys,
but something they don't talk about.
Josh had a mire. Man man was putting dirt and came back
Before I actually the question Josh. I want to say first of all it's so much trying to get employee of the month because black
These run sheets these run sheets Jacob. I mean Jacob eat a dick. I mean we love you
But he look at that black and black and my clore picked one up when he came in there in the break and said my god look at these rundowns
Black Lou can't wait for one of you goofy whiteies Christina or you to leave town and come here and do your job
Circles around you at it. Oh my god. I mean, there is really I'm pretty sure he's meeting with Jim to tell him and goes
How about three jobs for the price of one? I mean, I am killing it over here. This is unbelievable
Beautiful rundown water marks our pictures of us are logo on the back
Flame on the back the back scotch shit going on
Yeah, dude, wait a bring it. We're just giving penzoil gift boxes. This looks and the this looks like radio and he's gay news rundown look absolutely
atrocious
No ever put in doll last year bitch. Let me tell you something The future is now and it's front and back artwork you fucking bitches tick-tock time is running up
Hose hoes. You're on the clock bitches. Me.al notice. Nails out. Eyes are getting scratched. Look, there's so many unnecessary shapes that make me happy.
Like at the bottom there.
Honestly, and Blackloo, I think this is unbelievable.
If you could throw a little connected dots
or maybe a maze on there.
Oh, maybe the back-end have games.
Children's games.
We're being spent.
Fantastic.
I'm just absolutely showing how immature we are.
You know, like a word puzzle will be fun on the back.
Maybe like a five tick-tick toe board,
empty tick-tick toe board.
What about a horoscope?
Maybe all of our signs?
Or a fun fact about the ocean?
Oh, snapple facts.
I think he's there cooking up some cool shit.
You know what, we're just spitballing here.
So just like knock that around and see what you think
I don't spin on it back to Josh waking up his quasi-motor busy day in LA. I know we were saying
He's gonna get a choice. What is a choice? Oh?
Kid Rock show kid Rock show, which we're doing as a do we do
The montage not a medley because it's two full songs, but do we do at that might be a good place to pull out bound to the floor
local H into
Cracker low
We lost confidence in it because of Vegas, but we can't make Vegas the Vegas so anything that sucked so bad
Do I do those two together?
That's a fun idea great. I do a lot of ground. I should have gotten low I should have gotten hot. It's what I did fucking
You know I should have gone high
Yeah, dude listen dude
We can Monday morning quarterback this thing all day. Yeah, we can learn's what we could do
What do you want to learn from the lesson you want to move ahead? You want to go back and do what ifs?
Is what ifs? I don't know what ifs would have Trish and Gary get off the sauce a little early start sticking around dance life
I'll tell you what right now probably in a love of marriage
I'm probably being able to give love. I'll tell you what you are. I'll tell you what you are. You are not funny
That is for God damn sure
corny
corny is all hell, but oh
Man just voices. Oh my Christ. I'd hate you. Oh
My God, dude if you were just voices and noises I would be your blood flow then your right winds low and I'm like I can't be around this guy
peeps and blurps yeah he goes uh hey man would you mind
hitting the alarm on my car from me and I go damn was it the we're leaving
the garage so what did you do the it's funny for you Jay look at your
son or I think the engine is broke dude I'm watching you do it Dan you stop my face. We stopped during this dude
I like you you're a good guy. We're in the same fantasy football league, and that's fun
But fuck me you are not funny dude. It's all voices and voice you listen your danger field is
Spod on but you do nothing with it. You do you say this
Respect
Oh, tell you Monday's tough Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey we bought the tower. Damn, Jacob, did you get your haircut?
You're looking all yummy.
Look at, it's like,
Jacob's looking like a Ukrainian soldier.
Not their fight for freedom.
Yeah, good day to wear a khaki's,
fucking t-shirt, bruh, a rise up.
What a ride, real support.
Oh, is that Jacob or the ghost of Kiev?
I can't see so good.
I don't know.
Is that modern day red baron?
Stuff your pizza in my mouth.
Do you think I was really mavericking it? they said that the footage that came out wasn't real damn dude
I wanted to be so bad yeah, they get get get really when he gave the finger
When he gave metal horns and turned them into fingers in the air that wasn't real
Russia so
Oh Russia can you hear this? He goes was a Russia so big
Oh, Russia can you hear this for me turn it up? Oh, I'm sorry. Let me shake off this pussy juice off my fingers
You get so you can pay badly so down the floor in the sky for now. I'm gonna get through this. I promise you
I know every word of American badass like it wrong. No, I don't think you do his song. Don't yeah, don't yeah
Because Burrow is used to say that I was like, oh, dude. We should do like, you know, we're gonna get like
Dave Kushner from Velvet revolver. Let's do a vulva revolver song. He doesn't want to play that
Just like we had like Michael Devon from White Snake. I was like, we should do here we go again,
and he's like, dude, and I even pitched it to him,
and he was like, yeah, let's do something fun,
and I was like, oh, okay.
Maybe Cylipica's a song's called Here I Go again.
Not Here we go again.
Oh, sorry.
A lot of my lyrical notes are in my walk, I ya see.
Run.
Run.
Run. Yeah, here I go again, isn't what you wanna do, My lyrical nose in my walk I you see wrong wrong
Yeah, here I go again isn't what you want you still the night. That's the jam. I would do if I'm hitting that if I'm hitting the snake
Damn, I feel like a walkie-digger dig a dig a dig a walkie-digger
I'm walking by the loop the open door of tail
Shut up my god. I got that in me. I got a cock to this
Oh, dance
I know this one It's still a lot of you my heart's been in heaven Telling me you've got to have more
I love you Bob Sackett
If it's everywhere
It does
So you think it's the medley?
Yeah, but even I think we might even be able to come up with something a little bit
You know, it's just the met dude
Remember when the medley ripped and then we got our emotions crushed
When we went big is the only person who did well besides the Joker's was just
Because he worked he was touring with them. Yeah, yeah, and he also yeah, he fucking he killed me
Deroza did well at the end. He's his song did well well because he jumped in the audience
Yeah, Deroza had like had a fit. Yeah, but uh, what's your McCaw but the Stefano?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, who's this guy? I mean, completely.
They were like upset with everything I said.
And then I said, and then I'm like,
hey, you guys didn't really like me very much
because I'm gonna sing you a song now.
Let me serenade you guys.
You know what?
It's time to get vulnerable as a mother fucker out here.
It's so funny because that's the only other time
that's happened.
It happened one time at like a no name show
we didn't watch in a DC a placat. We use all DC comics and this dude bombed his set and then he was like, okay,
hit Purple Rain. That's so fun. He's saying Purple Rain after you bombed.
Dude, I mean, you know, I never met you in the tournament. You know, I never met you.
Gosh, you paint. The crowd was like, nah. Yeah, fucking dude, he's like, oh, yeah, so good.
To hear them start that up, I would've started laughing.
I would've been like, this is great.
The one that the, that's a fucking,
like that really just pussy crowd in LA,
didn't like me at that lyric theater,
but the song did well.
What did you do that first time?
That was a saying so, yeah.
That'll fucking play anywhere.
That was coming off a set that was coming off
and a set that was awkward because this lady
was just not having that.
That could go anyway.
So I could play that in Kansas and I think
forget where you are from,
a jagger ragga everywhere.
That's a gold ragga.
You take that thing to Toronto.
You could take it the next night, the Kansas and they could take it down in Miss Keaton. It's all getting fucking what do you bring in to me now to the table?
So that lady that lady was not having it and then she did enjoy the song even the lady who didn't like my comedy
For sure I respected which I know that girl too. I used to work with her at the strip club
And she was like just this hot chick sitting up front. It wasn't it wasn't it was like a
I think a half black lady or a black lady
That was her she was with that. She was in that group of people. Yeah, but yeah
She was like it was one of those like every question was like why is it like lady?
Yeah, please
Yeah, I'm just getting this fucking weasers song lady
It's like I turn your enemy. I love you. You're sweet on I'm sure trying to somehow connect my bit
Yes, please stop
So when you wake up LA your eye is worse
Tuesday was bad man, so I go to the urgent carry sends me the emergency room and then at that point is when I started texting
Christine and Jay because I was like I don't know I might might be, it looks like I'm gonna be here for hours.
I might be checked in because that's what I thought was gonna happen.
I said, polvia, via and leave.
Prioritize here.
Yeah, you better, you better fucking
born identity this thing and just leave the hospital room.
I won't point it to accident, I'm like,
can you not make this about you for five seconds?
Yeah, I was laughing throughout the whole thing.
The greater good.
But I'm literally like, it's foggy. No, you know kidding
Yeah, but even in that mold dude, it's like I there was a good two hours where I thought I was gonna lose my eye
Oh dude, but doesn't matter ball busting is the thing that will cheer you up more than me
Sapping over your fucking walkie with you busting your balls about it will be that that is if you're a comic
For sure that is always the case. you don't want a friend to go goes
Hey, man, I'm really sorry to hear about you when your chick breaking up
You just want to start telling them about the other chick the other dude. She probably left you for how he's probably the opposite
You don't even be upset
Don't be sad is probably got a big dick and a small body the opposite of you
It's probably a generous generous lover that can compensate
Not selfish at all. He knows how to give because he's not a generous, generous lover that can compensate. He's not selfish at all.
He knows how to give because he's not a broken toy.
Yeah, dude, all right, you good?
So when you're at the emergency room, what are they telling you?
They did this eye pressure test on me.
They checked to see if my corny was still attached, which it was.
And then he does this eye pressure thing.
And this is where I really get scared because they have to like hold this thing on your
Eye for like 10 seconds and when she pulls it off she goes, oh, that's a little high and I'm like come on man
Your eyes, but did you think with the pop they thought you were about to eye with the pop dude you with the fucking wonky eye hanging out
He's like oh you put it back in oh no, I like Josh
You should have told them what you were trying to get out of the hospital for and in my mind
The hospital were broken into a musical number about getting you like okay to go see Corey
Fulvin
Hey, God, I get it. There's been in Josh on a bed. He's like whoa
Very end when he's leaving
Good stuff. Get to the show
And when he's leaving the good stuff get to the show
No, everyone I'm off to the whiskey. I'm off to the whiskey a go go to see Corey Feldman
Who has threatened litigation against my friends. We got a get this boy out to the club
He's got a see his dream
You think I'll make it duck. I'm certain of it friend. This is from my private stock. This my pinch a little. Oh, it's gonna hurt so good We gotta get me to the show tonight and the club tonight
San Jan Malenium
Actually copyright yeah guys cutting I'm gonna shut that down
Yeah, guys, I'm gonna shut that down. It's nay.
I'm gonna send you a name.
You know, I think you're gonna be ascending
is the stairs to a courthouse.
I'm gonna say, oh yeah.
So you are, sorry.
I'm in the hospital for seven hours.
And then yeah, dude, in a round like,
so you miss your mom's house.
Didn't get to do anything to do any of that stuff.
So then at seven p.m.
I'm I like I get released at maybe about 6.30. I run home I shower and then I just run by the fucking pharmacy grab the medication throw a couple droplets in
If I can get to the whiskey and I get to the front of it thinking I'm like
As it started yet and they're like and then she's like, oh no
He's going on immediately at 902.
He was very specific about 902.
Two, two, two, two, two.
And so I'm like, oh, I got time to go get pizza.
So I go get pizza.
And then I come back and dude, it is just a wonderland
of like bonfire, scared everybody.
I didn't think anybody was there,
but maybe his wife is the only person that was there to take it serious.
That's hilarious.
Now, we're going to intertwine both stories.
If you can bring up the tweets they had of Cory Feldman, because Josh, you're going to hear live on the show
with the staff of Jay and I, we're going to construct our apology letter to Cory Feldman
because we put it out to have him on the show, maybe Barry Hatchett, maybe Embark on a
new friendship.
There's no reason because you actually love him.
He's ridiculous.
I'm going to drop, I'm going to give you stats.
We've sold more tickets for Cory Feldman than any other media outlet.
You can't even argue that.
The amount of units we've moved on this show alone.
If you just say it was a comedy act,
I'm right, but he's namping it.
However, also, we gotta tell the campers,
you don't gotta tweet at him.
He knows about us.
Don't tag, yeah, that's just,
if we want this to keep going,
we're starting to tag.
Yeah, there's like a people that were,
I understand that people were talking with him,
but he doesn't wanna fuck with us,
and now it's clear because you know
We're gonna reach it the tweets what he wrote back, which was like at that point at one point I read it
And I was like man are we fucking just harassing this mentally ill man. Oh, no, but we don't want the fans to yeah
Yeah, and well, it's the same ship when we did the I love you Bob Sagitts song and they tag Nikki Glazer
I was like, why just let this just be you know, I mean we don't have to be specific to it. She definitely had to think it was hilarious
Travis on Twitter tweeted Corey Feldman. What can the bonfire do to get you on the podcast?
I'd love to listen in long time fan of you and of course the two quarries so shout out Travis because that seems genuine radio show though, but
Also was a podcast now
Don't forget to.
For someone who's radio show though.
But, so you're checking the phone.
And so, Fel Dog wrote, for us to get him on the show,
we need to delete every show we've ever done
about him off Spotify and YouTube.
And then write me a-
Right, me.
It was a seven percent of our shows.
And then write me a public apology for the letter four,
I mean, the number four years of
defamation and slander and I'll consider it. Damn all that just to consider all that that's all for your consideration. I'll do all of it. I mean how many episodes do you think?
60 70s some odd. Oh, yeah, I mean you can't that's Estimation, but you cannot delete the one of y'all breaking down his today
That's gonna be the first one he's gonna want off there
That's the best the one that also is with Sal so it's like a one you know, that's too big for us
So there's a massive it's how grown that it's how grown him yeah, we can't even control that anymore
It's a runaway train. Yeah, here. All right. You did the performance. We reacted that happened. We can pull these things down. They're still going to exist.
Yeah, they're not ever going to be.
Scrawled. But if we just denounced them, we say we hate those hilarious episodes.
We hate when we're having so much. What?
We don't post YouTube. So boom. So that's out.
That's not a boom.
Doba boom. We never found that.
Boom You know, but boom we never found that
So YouTube done Spotify
Spotify we're on Spotify all right. Yeah, you are the podcast is okay
We don't have a deal do you have those podcast by the way our podcast episodes back from those I don't think so we're
Comedy Central Radio. It's right. I don't think we had podcast episodes back from those I don't think so we're coming such a radio. That's right I don't think we had podcast episodes back then. No, we don't so done
You had something back then. Well pull the ones whatever we have podcast. Yeah, you had sure whatever pull that pull all of it
Pull that off spa
I apologize right now and then look we're on radio. We're on radio
So don't look at us. So don't look at me doing my head shake when I say it look at what I'm saying the world is like
We should pull all those down Look at me doing my head shake when I say it look at what I'm saying the world is like we should pull all those down
Remove them hold on real quick if I can
That's
I mean easily easily easily It's I owe him something honestly. I think we're chasing it every episode
I don't think you even need to know the context
All I'm saying is is that we need to delete those episodes. Yeah, and write this apology that we absolutely mean
You touch those buttons
You don't fucking mean guys, I'll be stupid. You just gotta say, you'll touch those buttons.
You do like that thing, I want to fucking move.
I'll kill him in front of you.
I'll kill him right in front of you.
I'll just check the fucking can.
But anyways, guys, so we're moving it off.
It's off.
I think it's off now.
It's already off.
Got a public apology.
And hang on.
I'm hacking in.
I'm hacking in right now.
Yeah, hacking in right now now and it looks like I am
in
Nice, okay, nobody wants removed
Delete it. I just a little delete over there enter. Okay, and
I won't over here. Yep, and then pretty pretty board
Dude, pick. He's hitting the fucking the leaf button
Pretty bored. Damn, fooling me.
Dude, Picky's hitting the fucking delete button.
You took that off the main friend?
I don't know.
It's Mike.
No, no.
Am I crazy?
Am I deaf?
No, your mic is off.
Am I like this?
What do you want to say, Mike's off, too?
I think I blew the mat when we were playing with the whispering thing.
Oh, no.
Really?
You blew the mat?
That's hilarious.
What about this one, Lewitsky?
Blown out.
Blown out.
Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, there it is
Trying to go to that one move to that one everyone move everyone do a little
I have a little bit boy voice I guess because I didn't blow it out at all. Sorry. Don't project
Thank you. Damn. Sorry save the microphone. Just talking to friends
Thank you damn sorry save the microphone just talking to friends
I like to speak to my friends with my die-off friend Josh to me if you ever keep me on the right hand side of your face
And listen to the music of the night.
So we need to write this public apology,
which is very much. Let's get to the public apology later.
Josh, walk us through Whiskey again.
Our two is the apology.
The apology.
So, so, yeah.
So I go in and I have video of all this.
Christine, did you get all the stuff of the links and stuff?
I got one video because fuck dude.
I sent you guys stuff on the iCloud via text.
It's like for so I think it's like shot it all in cinematics.
It's not much a word.
So I mean nothing to me.
No, no, no, I sent everything.
I'm so yakled by text.
What a bear.
Gary.
I put it on weasel.
Trans. Yeah.
This was a hot spot that over here.
You've been theorized it.
Flipped it up on the ground.
I was holding it.
Shot it over to your old fashioned email style.
I threw a quick filter rub.
Yeah.
Put some cat eyes on it.
Slap it around a little bit.
Little glue, little glitter.
Took it to Microsoft Paint.
I had a friend in Tokyo put it over Abba.
You had it notarized by my aunt who happens to be a notar republic.
Had it turned into a board game.
I was hell.
Play three games of mind sweep.
So the videos you recorded, but you said there's a lot of bonfire fans there.
There were a lot of bonfire fans there.
There were a lot actually a very attractive women in the ages of 38.
I saved 35.
I think 35 until about, until about 50 something.
There was, I mean, there was like a table of this guy who was like,
I got a picture of him.
This guy that 100% was a Coke dealer.
Nice.
And he just had like five like milk,
like kind of almost gilfs that are all like
in leopard print, just party and man.
And I befriended these two Canadian people
that went to my show at the comedy store the night before
and they came up to me like,
hey, we saw you at the main room, we got a t-shirt and I was like, What are you guys doing here?
And they said, Listen, we're only in town for one more day.
We were looking for something to do.
We said, We saw Corey Feldman of the whiskey.
Could you imagine just stumbling into seeing Corey Feldman on 222 in February?
The fact that you didn't do it, by the way at 10.22 that night when he came on stage when it was
2.22.22 at 22.22.22. I mean, where's the draw? He draws lines in weird places.
At nine. You biffed it. He went on 902. Just like put something up, put it opening act up.
Yeah. He let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something.
That's not going to be in the letter. Let me take it. Strike that strike that off whoever's taken minutes for the letter take that part off
Strike that we strike that from the actual formal apology now you just like you're attacking him
Let him be
They it wasn't still still skilves
There's coke there's fucking there suck in everyone's running. I was hot at the show for whiskey a gogo
It's fucking there's sucking everyone's running. I was hot at the show for whiskey a gogo. It's 88 in there
Leopard prints
Canadians is direct is direct to me is loop is
Prince and poppers
Kings and crit crowns
Panko cross the chicken dead
agents lawyers
Bag of bonds one guy claims he's a werewolf but it was only a half-cress of moon So I wasn't gonna hang around to find out another guy said he saw Sasquatch
Wanted to hear the story but chorus
You guys told me that is here for an alibi for a murder thing
It was a wacky evening to say the least.
And then another fella I met that did had a cup of coffee with the pirates.
Career batten, what do you want?
Not good.
Not good.
Couldn't not put stick to bottom.
Not good.
Was a high school prodigy, but not good. Couldn't not put stick to ball. Not good.
Was a high school prodigy, but not good.
Had not handled the major's pressure.
And zip on the ball with movement.
And it was like, go down.
Let's go down.
Cory Twirls.
This pitching coaching, this guy.
Two seamers there, four, one.
And it's consistent.
I'm throwing this guy steel second all day.
He's looking out in the clouds and burns and some.
I don't know if the boy is touched.
This guy loves the inside.
Paint the outside.
Get him stretched.
So the show starts.
All these milks are dancing around you.
Like it's the Matrix.
There's like
Cory felman just does loose skin's eye oh
Hey, milv still skills you got a party you felt mansion the regular the regular players are here You guys want to you ever have figs on medium-usual practice
Dude
Oh
Yeah, so but you're at the show and it starts how does he come out so
So well first this is this is when we I brought the bag is that I go in and I wander the bottom floor
There's no merch. I'm really disappointed. Mr. Feldman if I could call you Mr. Feldman
You're leaving money on the table. Ah, this is man to business man. He needed to have it
He should have had on the bottom floor, but I think he was expecting it to be a massive sellout
Damn do what an opposite way of comic thinking
Every time I walk into a comedy club, I'm like fucking half empty. I'm gonna pause this to wait for a second
I can't be out of about 40 CDs., it's fucking half empty. I'm gonna pause this to a waitress again. I can't be allowed. I brought 40 CDs.
Yeah, and then fucking idiot I am. Yeah, he walks in.
He walks in.
Man, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to bring all the merch.
I guess maybe put it out in the hall.
Well, you don't want to take a backroom and sign.
I don't know if it gets crazy enough we can dump it in like a helicopter.
Green, third world country.
Tell everyone to throw money at this stage
We think they deserve for one of these shirts whatever we can unicef them. He's hell. Yeah next
Cory Fellman. I'll tell you what if we go to full blow war with Cory Fellman here be my favorite thing to do
Let's make our own merch and then sell it
Hey, fellow angel sir I'm like a shit. Who the heck is a shit? Who the heck is a shit? I'm like a shit. I'm like a shit.
I'm like a shit.
I'm like a shit.
Who the heck is a shit?
I'm like a shit.
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit?
Who the heck is a shit? Who the heck is a shit? Who the heck is a shit? Who the heck is a shit? Who the heck is a shit? in a stand outside of a concert, 10 bucks when he's selling them for 22 inside. 20 dollars!
What?
I go, his merch is not,
he doesn't know himself enough to make funny
or merch than this.
Dude, we could bring him in as brand ambassadors.
We could really change the way he looks.
He's understanding something.
By the way, we'd have him selling out shows
very, very quickly,
because you change the narrative of what
they're coming for.
Charlie Sheen, they weren't coming for stand-up.
They're watching him to sit on a throne and go tiger blood.
I'm in the middle of this two and a half hour documentary on YouTube about Charlie Sheen
and it's pretty interesting, but has really gotten to the knit grit yet.
You know what I mean?
Hasn't got to the juice.
Has it talked about Lucas? What do you, what do you, fuck? It's gonna go back to the knit grit yet. You know what I mean? Hasn't got to the juiced. Has it talked about Lucas?
What do you mean, what do you fuck?
It's gonna go back.
It's talking about being on Lucas and he goes
and there were some accusations that came from a younger cast member there,
but we'll get to that later on my life.
I think it's okay.
All right.
All right. Well, you let us know full report.
Yeah.
But back so he opens the show.
So, so we,
so this is because I want to,
I want to explain to you why the merch is so much lighter than it was supposed to be
Yeah, we thought you're gonna bring back a suit. I was but I dude so I get it's not his fault
whatsoever I was the phone for this the Canadians the Canadians go there's merch upstairs and I go save my spot
Cuz I had a fucking dope spot right close to the stage, which I couldn't stood anywhere
The picture I saw you it looks I'm like Josh
Josh
Dan son doing great kid
I thought the picture was from sound check
Dude I was right up on there dancing shake your tuss
You could just, they did.
Did you get it?
You started mimicking dance moves.
Where the rights from?
I did.
I did all of this.
There's in one of the videos.
One of the videos I sent you guys, the one
that you definitely have, which is the beginning
of the show, the whole intro.
And then it's the first two songs.
So it's Come Back Kid and it's Ascending Millennium.
King, Come Back King.
Come Back, sorry.
Come Back King and Ascension Millennium.
He dance is close to me and he starts giving people high-fives and then I fucking
Dap him up and then I'm just like you can see in the video
I give like a thumbs up and I'm just like yeah, I mean it was one of the greatest moments of my life
Paul McCartney I could give a fuck about that dude that was
You're there dude you look will you up from the state that would be right dude if you did that to me
I'd melt like a chick I would fall back and
I can have a sit down radio debate with him
But if he walked down stage to do Cory felman nonsense music and fucking knuckle me up first dude
I would fucking get wet whenever that is for a man if he did like a boner if he did if he did the move
Whatever that is for a man if you did like a boner if you did if you did the move
Jay if you did like that move and then broke it and then yeah, oh
You have you spent use what's up guys
Damn if he gave me those gloves that are just fingers I would wear them as fingers on my palm gloves. They would complete the puzzle
It would make you whole.
We are one.
We are I am now.
I am.
You are me and I am.
You look according to go thank you for releasing me.
You me and I you.
So I go upstairs and I see the merch, dude.
I'm sending you guys t-shirts or the pictures or the ones that were up for sale.
And I talk to the woman because I'm like I I'm gonna buy it all now and she goes and
I said, but wait, I was like, well, this will all be here after the show.
You have enough, but she goes, oh, we have plenty.
All sizes, nothing to worry about, because I didn't have a bag or anything.
You don't want to hold a shirt?
I got highest fuck for this.
I gave that on the way out.
I almost would have expected nothing different. I would have I would have because I almost lost this bag
Like four times just like getting pizza afterwards. I'm like fucking I have to go back to grab it
So so I go downstairs and then the show starts the lights change well the angels up there his main woman
And then she's DJing horribly like
and then she's DJing horribly. Like, this is like, these sounds boogie through my mind.
Like, is that shit over and over?
But she's, she's very attractive, yes.
She, you know, she kind of looks like,
she looks like Jules from Euphoria.
Oh, like a big old, uh, trans person.
Yeah, she looks, she looks, she look gauky.
Oh, I feel so bad saying that.
You're so sweet, because she little gulky. Oh, I feel so bad saying that you're so sweet.
Because she did his wife. I met them both. And I just I want to stay. I want to stay on the
positive. I'm you're you're already fucked. You're already on this show. Just giving a report.
There you go. You got no sides. I'm not you're fucking mind. I'm 100% positive. I can be
first. What are you? I rot your brain. You just read what he said. That was y'all
You're sitting next to it your eye your eye noodles crawl in your brain my eye bugs
So it's going on. These your eye bugs are eating your frontal lobe
All your decisions all that your synapses are fine around that school not nowhere
I don't even know I am right now. What's my name?
You make a terrible decision. Anybody else pass them out? I'm seeing all gray. Yeah.
I think I got butterflies. I think a butterfly called in my head and I'm just using
Josh's memories to live a life to get quick. Put some of that honey in front of me.
So, so I go down the lights change right at 902 and they show that video, which I don't know if you've seen it.
Yeah, so yeah, same videos.
Oh, wow.
So, so the, it's really was.
That wasn't a drop, by the way.
That was actually good.
I was saying it was magnificent.
It was.
It was just like the music's great.
It's like building up and then he comes downstairs with the band.
By the way, no angels, all dudes in the early 40s.
Yeah.
Really a wild hog.
Somebody was in.
They're back to ride.
Somebody was in, I think he was in the movie Lost Boys or something like the guitarist.
And he was like helping a friend out.
And he said like, you know, he was like, he used to man movies with me.
It's all in the video that I have, that I have the one that you guys have when he does the, the band.
And then the lights are still out.
He turns his back to the stage.
And what feels like the video ends, it feels like it was two minutes of just him standing there,
like looking over.
Hey, grew up dancing with Michael Jackson.
He knows how to milk an audience. And then it comes on and bro, for the next 45 minutes,
best concert ever seen.
Hands down.
I mean that since, dude, I got so into it.
We're gonna change, we're gonna change some lines
out there tonight, guys.
Oh man.
I know a lot of you have to return to your jobs
as welders and movers But tonight where I cohesive you
Get the milk get the gilves. We get the gilves to mess with the milves
Did he do any the new dancing from the new video everything? No the new stuff where he's trying to do modern dance now
We do you show me what you need?
Show on the video show to butterly though dude. I love butterly
He's great response to that. He goes literally no reason you can't trick him into thinking you did all that. Yeah I agree. That's what I think
to. Yeah absolutely right. We just we did we yeah sure we did all those things.
He's absolutely right. Mm-hmm. As you write that now. What is the reference?
Tim saying Tim Butterley saying that Cory's demands for him to come on. We removed it off from
Spotify. How's he gonna find the episode about him on spot? I was always tweeting at 501 a.m. Look at that dude early bird gets the worm
That's how you learn those dance moves. Oh, yeah, you never find it. You gotta wake up extra early dance better than that motherfucker
And if he's in LA that's actually it that's actually two oh one a.m
Think about that is it registers for you guys are five party. He's probably yeah, man party time
Dude, he puts on a show and the whole time he was doing the show like he kept saying this is just a mini concert
This is just a mini a small one. I'm not going for a full concert here
But he did like six seven songs and then he did like a three song encore
Is this it?
Did he make music video for the comeback King?
Yeah, we got to show Josh the moves.
I want to show them the dance moves.
You should be trying these moves.
Because I got it in the first video that you have
is I think the two best songs from a comeback King.
comeback King ruled the fucking better,
make it sting.
The Dr. Dre's son, they didn't have his mic on.
So he was rapping and you see Cory Feldman
like looking at the sound guy and like, come on.
Come on.
You're losing his light.
Come on.
We got lightning in a bottle.
Dude, Mike Fieny starring in that video is so awesome.
You said that the first time we watched it?
He's like, no, it really is good.
Yeah.
Could you help my Fieny?
Just get to the dance parts.
Yeah, it's about two thirds of the way in.
Yeah.
Right there.
You got it back up.
Yeah, but just when he's after he wrapped it's after the
Yeah, yeah, there it is.
Oh my god.
Move.
Oh, I forgot how to whack you.
It keeps showing the squat down one, but not the run with the ears.
Where he does the run where he goes like this Jay there he goes
Yeah
Yuck he did all of this
No, wait no, you got to see did he get on the floor dude because that's really yes. Yeah, he did
I'm almost positive he did all of this dude
Yes, yes, he did do it because it was weird watching him get up watching him get up look I get hurt
I bet that's what the 20 dollars. That's why they don't show it. Yeah, that's
That's why they don't show it in the video dude
If he just said I'm doing like funny music
This kills yeah, man, but he's got grandma at a wedding eyebrows
This is drawn in
You know grandma's when they draw their eyebrows in it like nice events and you're like come on
You went over the top what do you do? You don't have those eyebrows anymore?
But look how he's drawn it's drawn on I mean dude. He's like the Dan band. I
Would love to see the song live. It...
And honestly, it kind of hurts knowing that he hates us as much as he does.
But at the same time...
It's a embassy...
Who cares?
To come back, Kane!
Dude, I didn't know this one, nor did I have any idea that this was being released at the exact moment he was performing it.
I watched it live.
Oh, fuck, dude.
Dude, he throws this blanket on him and look, he's like, what is this?
What is it? Watch. What is that? What do you see, dude? It's a life fuck dude he throws this blanket on him and look he's like what is this watch
What is that what is he doing?
This is nuts. It's nuts really not blankets. Then it's just gay boxing
This is nuts and bones. Look at these twinks pounding on each other. These hot twinks
Let's put a pin and Josh's story to take a break and come back with the rest of it. Oh
The rundown we gotta do some you gotta do some housekeeping
hmmm pace and bills
farce of people smooth what's up Jacob
just to go back not enough emphasis put on the opening video the retrospective video that
Corey shows of his life before he comes out on stage if you ever get a chance to go
to a concert you're in for a treat.
Yeah.
It's also something that I wanted to replicate it on the road with my standup shows.
Oh my God.
Because then it's so vague.
It's a lot of vagueness in it.
Like Corey Feldman has made movies at the same time as many other actors.
He's not wrong. I forgot. That video is fucking bonkers with all the
grunkers. He goes, you see him on stage in the same city one time as Snoop Dogg. Exactly.
All these people he has performed with.
There's been in a movie that Michael Jackson has had a song on. Stuff like that's crazy.
You got to see him. He once got kicked out of a house party at the has had a song on. It's stuff like that, it's crazy. You gotta see it.
He once got kicked out of a house party at the New
Singer of the offspring.
Oh my, yeah man, we gotta find that actual video.
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