The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Mild and Cocky Comedy

Episode Date: August 2, 2024

Jay enjoys the cocky comedy of Corey Holcomb. The guys discover that Luke Grimes is not only an actor on Yellowstone, but has taken up country singing. Jacob defends his right to think he is a cowboy. He is not. *To hear the full show and subscribe to SXM go to www.siriusxm.com/bonfire FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolfSubscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early.

And now the bonfire with Big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Today's country hits it's bonfire series xm 103 That's I reckon Robert Kelly I Can't think of your cowboy names Whiffed hard. I'm lasso's Okerson I'm Lasso's Okerson. I just got back from Nashville, so I'm feeling honky tonk. Is that country? That's more like rock and roll, right? It's country blues, I'd say I would call it.

That's pretty funky. He's awesome. That's dirty. Yeah. Yeah. He played this live when he came in last time. Did you come up to this song? It's a goodie. It's a goodie. It's a goodie. I want to talk like that again. Yeah it's Marcus King. He came out to see me in Nashville's Anees this weekend and said he's in town playing the Beacon. I'm gone. Christine you should go if you can go. He's playing Thursday night at the Beacon

Theater. So you might come in on Wednesday. I think he's going to. He's going to come in the show. Yeah. He's a big fan. Big, big fan of the Bonfire. That's how we met him. I'm like not a country guy. So when we met him, it was the first year I did Kid Rock's Rockin' Comedy Jam. All right, buddy. Kid Rockin' Comedy Jam. Bobby? Bobby. Yeah. I love Bobby. Bobby.' Comedy Jam. Yeah Bobby? Yeah. Love Bobby. Bobby.

Hey Bobby. He's like the Toro Fuente. I left my Kid Rock joke out of that set this weekend. Really? Yeah, I didn't do it once I don't think. There's always somebody there who's probably his cousin. Or someone who just knows him in some way. It's, you know, I wanted to tell,

so hopefully Marcus said he's gonna come in on Wednesday, I believe. I've been dying to tell you this one night, since I saw you outside, I went to go see Isaiah today, our beautiful barber. Haven't seen him in a long time. You haven't seen him in a long time. He, well, he was gone for months.

He got married and came back. To what? Probably just a gorgeous, gorgeous lady. Or an older lady with some scratch. Or a gorgeous older man. You hope, you wish. He's beyond women, he's beyond vagina. Oh yeah, sure.

It does nothing for me, it doesn't. I've seen it, I've smelled it, it does nothing. Everything's perfect on him, his eyebrows, his beard. does not inform me. It doesn't I've seen it that I smelt it. It does nothing Everything's perfect on his eyebrows his beard. I love to close. I love his old man's pubic hair, and I like to trim it Make it nice He today he is now taken to compliment through insult What he compliments through insult he goes he goes you said the same thing I walked today goes You look good man. He goes you look you lose weight. I go. Yeah, I'm trying to lose some weight and he goes Yeah, he goes you was fat

I was like, yeah Dude, I only went to like three weeks ago the last time he didn't say anything then I used to have to get my chair fixed Every time you came in and today I don't think I'm going to. Yes, it is safe. Every time you come in, I feel like, how you say, polish a turd. We keep oil around for the chairs when you leave. What does hair matter when everything else is a potato?

Oh, the chickens are running around. It's the worst. Compliments you lose weight are the worst. The worst one I got was, hey man, we were worried about you. I was like, well, you guys never came to me with that fucking information. I wish we had recordings of when me, you and Ari went out on that three day stint, me and Ari,

the conversations behind your back, me and Ari had. I didn't know stint, me and Ari, the conversations behind your back, me and Ari had. And they were in earnest. This was not like a laughing at all. I go, look, no, I get it, all the fat jokes. But Bobby dropped a pencil and went to pick it up and turned purple. But this is how fucked up that is.

You took me to a hamburger place where they had hamburgers with peanut butter and jelly on them. Yeah, we got three and then we split them all. You let me. I made as good decisions as I could then. Continually get fatter on that trip. Well, I tell you what, the burger place,

that was a man versus food suggestion, that was great. Oh God. That was fantastic. I'll tell you where you got me, that was the trip where you got me because You and what was at that point you knew you were getting the surgery We went on that trip. Oh, that's a good question because I think you you said something when you were like the last like hurrah of it you were treating that trip because like you

To me was the calzone the gas station calzone. I can't say enough. I said it a thousand times Bobby got a calzone from an Indianapolis gas station. It was good. It wasn't. It wasn't because I tried to bite because he bobbed me into it in the car. Hard to fuck up a calzone. And just watching a guy not want to be fat alone

makes you feel so bad for him. I was like, all right, I'll have a bite, Bobby, but this is disgusting. Sausaged calzone from a gas station in Indianapolis. It was not that bad. I don't know if it was sausage, it was some type of meat. It was a gas station in Indianapolis. It was not that bad. I don't know if it was sausage, it was some type of meat. It was a little balls, little meat balls in it.

It was so, it was not good. That was my, exactly. I'll tell you what though, the cheese was all right in it. Cheese is great. Yeah. That food that we ate with Ari at that Bangladeshi fucking mocho pichu plate, whatever the, what was it? Yeah, it was like the, you know, whatever that food was, I forget, whatever it was, it looked like if you put like

a hot piece of metal near it, it would like jump at you, like when they were finding out which was the alien blood. In the thing? In the thing. If you put like a hot wire to it, it starts moving. It starts screaming, the soup starts screaming. That guy couldn't explain what anything in that was in that restaurant. I've never been to a dirtier place in my entire life.

It was trash on the floor and they weren't cleaning it up. They would come take the shit off the tables and just leave the shit on the floor. It was wacky. It was bad. That was one of my last fat weekends. Yeah. And also, do you remember the windows were see-through, but they weren't from dirt. Yeah, from smudge.

Yeah, not, they weren't fogged. They were clear. They just had schmutz all over them. Yeah, yeah. It was bad. It was a bad place. That weekend was a rough weekend for me, and I remember dropping that pencil

and thinking, wow, this is bad. We got to the green room. I love that you guys are talking behind my back, though. That's great. Well, you guys are talking behind my back when. We got to the green room. I love that you guys were talking behind my back, though. That's great. Well, you guys were talking behind my back when we all got to the green room, and they were like, Jay, if you don't mind, me and Ari are gonna do our podcasts right now together.

And I just left the room. I gave them the room to do their podcast. No, you stayed. I came back. You came back, but it was two comics, two cigars. It wasn't three comics, fucking three hot dogs. It was two comics, two cigars, and you were in the room on the podcast.

You stayed. I came back. You came back in and we put you, I mean, the rules are stated. It's only two comedians, and the other comics, you can be there, but you can never be there. For the one week, we couldn't put up plus one comic, no cigar. One comic just smoked a cigarette.

In hindsight, since that podcast failed, maybe we should've added you to it. It might've got us numbers. But it was two comics, two cigars. And uh. It was just weird to dismiss me from the green room, like, go call Christine or something. You'll be fine.

And then it was over, I came came in they gave us gross cookies that had little sayings Actually what it was they gave us cookies that had sayings on them also in that they were mostly for Ari All Ari were they all Ari a hundred percent Ari. Yeah And it was, yeah, it was all his little things. Yeah. The star David might have been you, but I'm pretty sure. It was Ari. They were leaning towards his nose.

No, no, for sure, absolutely. And they were gross, by the way. Don't care, they didn't make them for me. When people give you cookies that are cool things, the cookies, the cookies always suffers in flavor. Yeah. It's always got a fucking picture on it and it just tastes like thick, dry bullshit.

Yeah, if the cookie has your headshot on it in your new album, it's gonna suck. If it has your logo, it stinks. Cake, they figured out. You could get a hell of a picture on a cake, on a sheet cake, and that cake could still be pretty good. Yeah, cake is good. I like cake. Sorry. I didn't mean to make you horny, bro. Fat Bobby's in there. On a sheet cake and that cake is still be pretty good. Yeah cake is good

Sorry Don't make you horny bro. Fat Bobby's in there still in there. He's still in there Carol and talked from the TV. Hey walk into the cake walk into the cake No, tell her not to go tell him not to go to the cake. The cake is bad. I see cake Don't go to the cake. Honey. Don't go to the cake. I'm gonna go the cake. Do not go to the cake We can't stop him from going to the cake. He loves cake I can't stop. I'm going in after him and then you gotta talk us both out of the cake Bobby I'm coming in for the cake. Hey, let's get the cake. Hey, look there's a gas station calzone

It's Jacob guys don't go to the cake in the calzone do some jumping jacks guys Shut up, Jacob. Yeah, that was a fun weekend, but that was one of my rough weekends. It always sucks hanging out with Ari, though, because he's so naturally thin. He's like sick thin. Doesn't matter what he eats.

Yeah, but he's always thin. At one point, he was doing the yoga pretty regularly. It was almost in shape. But even Ari, when he's always, at one point he was doing the yoga pretty regularly, he got like, it was almost in shape, but even Ari when he's like, he was shredded almost, and still just reads like, you know when they dumped the bodies of corpses in Auschwitz all at the same time, he's feeling all of them. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, if Ari at his best in shape looks like he has castaway body. He always looks like German propaganda photos. Yeah, clothes, he's propaganda. There you go. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, that was a bad day. Oh, no. And here's the problem with Ari. He brings. Oh, no.

This is how did you not know your friend was humiliating you? We were in Thompson Square Park, which is pretty all around us. Needles, paramedics. Oh, yeah. I mean, literally, you had to watch out. He goes, watch out for the needles on the ground. Look at how he's barefoot in the New York City Park with a slumb bag. Oh, he's getting in tight. He's grounding himself.

That's what he does, he grounds himself. Bobby, I'm not as wide as your legs could go. That's as wide as my legs could go. 100%. Before you were going over? I did the, here we go, watch this. Watch this, there we go. Ooh.

Nothing, Bobby. Right there, come on, one, two, three. Wait, wait for it. We're watching Bobby do a yoga on the TV and he's bending his knees not a lot. Ari's his instructor, is that right? Ari's instructing him, yeah. Ari did this thing during the pandemic where we,

that's not bad, that's a not a. That's not terrible. That's a, what is that, a dog pose or some shit? Christine, what's it called? That? It looks like a bird dog. Here we go. Here goes Christine pretending.

Reverse leg kick. I'll tell you what it's called. You lift your leg up and you swing it through before you fucking Hulk it out and bang. It's DDP yoga. It is my fattest. Watch this, ready? Look at my toes, they're about to break.

You're hating it so much right now. I think that's supposed to be a down dog split. All your back fat's going into your neck. That's called the hippotundra that I'm doing right now. Look at your head. I wanna draw eyes on the back of your head and look so you have monkey lips. The back of my neck had a pack of sausages.

Yeah. It really did. No doubt. Can you do deep end now? Yeah. How deep? I can do deep. I can go deep.

I can go deep. I remember the greatest day is when I washed my balls in the shower from behind. Okay. And I actually came out of the shower and soaked my balls. You spread it open like a little slut? I reached from behind and I was washing my balls and I came out and I was like, Dawn, she's like what?

I'm like, look. And it was just me washing my, holding my balls from behind. That's great. It was a great day in life. What a day. It was a great day in life. But I'm saying, I think I can do the deepest or second deepest knee bend in this room.

And that's squatting down? Squatting down. I'm pretty sure I could do better than you now deepest knee bend in this room. And that's squatting down? Squatting down. I'm pretty sure I could do better than you now. I don't think so. I think so. I'm pretty flexible. All right, let's see you do it. You want me to go first?

I want you to go first, and that way I can say I'm out. Okay. Okay. Jay is pushing away from the desk right now. He's going to do a deep knee bend. Here we go. My. Don't just split I hope your wallet chain There you go

That's that's my fattest holy shit Bobby he's not even waiting at you Wow I mean, dude. That's pretty deep. That's insanely deep That's yeah, you want to do it a little higher up and sit because it's almost relaxed. Yeah, but how deep? The question was how deep? That's gay porn deep. That's gay porn deep. That thing would have been so in me.

Yeah, that's Chris Ellis deep. Jason Ellis, dude. Sorry, nice talking to you. All right, ready? Chris Ellis is from The Syndicate? Yeah. No, you haven't seen his- He takes it deep. Have you seen his only films?

I have not. Oh, Chris Ellis takes it deep. Alright, ready? Yeah. Bobby, take it deep. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah, I can't see my face.

Okay. Yeah. That's right. Oh, sooky sooky now. How low is he? Is he deep? easy deep not as deep as you know pretty deep he's past he's past Yeah, it's pretty deep, but it's not like as deep as I was right Yeah, yeah, Jacob let's see your deep because you're the only other person I would challenge in this I think you probably go pretty deep end. I have pretty good flexibility. I bet you do There's no way DJ Lou can do a deep knee bend

Deep that's real deep he went all the way down the ground. Yeah, I guess me and Jacob are tied for best awesome Yeah, you guys can both wipe your ass with leaves I don't have to wipe him. I could just drag my hands. Oh, I believe scooch like a dog. Oh That'd be great Oh Christine you gonna do it now to prove that you can? Because I'll tell you what, you're not going as deep as I went. I'm for sure. There's no way. No way. With the size of your balls?

Here we go. Christine's going down. It's okay. It's not as good as Jacob. That was effortless. That's pretty good. Mine was effortless. I dropped right down. Mine was effortless, I dropped right down. It was effortless. Compliment me. Jay, yours was awesome, Jay.

Christine was effortless. Thank you. Christine's doing whatever, who cares? But she's staying down there. You were, you were, you had it. I was down there for two minutes talking to you. You can't stay. I was down there for longer than Christine.

No you weren't. I was. No you weren't. I would like to see a challenge, who can stay longer? I can stay there for the entire show. Can you get a mic down there for me? Because I'll just live down there if that's what you want. Like a fucking drunk girl pissing.

I'll just live there. Give me a beer. I'll take the picture like, what's her name? Fuck. Miley Cyrus. Miley Cyrus. While she's pissing. I want to see who could do a squat longer, look halfway,

between you and Christine. Oh, maybe Christine on that one. I wanna see who could do a squat longer, look halfway between you and Christine. Well, maybe Christine on that one. I'm holding up much more body weight. Well, a little bit more body weight. Yeah, Christine is a dancer. I'm holding up a little more body weight. I don't know if you know this, I used to be fat until Isaiah told me I'm not.

I'm not. Only just three weeks ago, I was a fucking blimp of shit. Oh, God, talking about blimps of shit, this is the first- How many episodes did you do with Ari? Because it's just, I don't think you realized he was doing this to make people laugh at you. I didn't know that until right now, thank you.

I thought he was trying to help. But right after this my neighbor moved. Because of this? I think so. Yeah. I remember my neighbor came out and was just like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, fuck, why does Ari dress like an imaginary friend?

He really is dressed like a unicorn he dresses like an imaginary friend he's like a guy Is oh man my manager your friend so cool. He just wears whatever is the first thing he grabs Yeah, like a kid show on YouTube. Yeah He's like, what are you wearing today? Ari grandfather sweater corduroys and a shirt that says new fucking York He's wearing tie-dyed sweatpants. I know I was a woman I think he made those must be nice to wear to wear anything you want and not care. I know it's great He just sucks now. He's making out with a dog dude. He's making out doodles I mean that I think that it was one of my fattest right there. That's a big boy. Uh

Yeah, yeah. Damn, dude. That's a big boy. And Ari just brought you on just to laugh. Did that people laugh at you? Well, I didn't know. I didn't think of that. But now that hurts that you're saying that. Apparently you had conversations about it behind my back.

But they were really, it was worried. We were pretty sure there was an outside shot. You wouldn't make it through the weekend. And we were planning on how we were gonna get you home, or do we just side of the road you? You know what I mean? What do you mean side of the road me? You're gonna leave me on the side?

Just say we couldn't find you or something. Let the crows take you. Just call the cops. You have a phone. It's not in the 1920s. Oh, they're gonna blame us, dude. Why are they gonna look at my torso and go, they're gonna know exactly who's fault it was.

They're gonna see my credit card receipt and see that I bought that fucking gas station calzone for you. You bought the hamburgers? Look at fucking drop dead Fred. Oh God. You. My God, I was fucking pregnant.

I do love that you're wearing each other's shirts. Oh my God. There is a lot of love. I can't believe I got that big and nobody helped me. You know, we have a new friend we're worried about and we're really like, we gotta have a real conversation with him and not just do it behind his back like we do with Bobby.

Yeah, I know who it is. You do? Yeah. Yeah, I do. Do I? Do I know them? You know them. Yes. You know them. But like...

Okay. Why are we not supposed to talk about it? It's not a comic. This is how fat people die, by the way. Oh, no, if it was a comic, I'll tell you, we should help some fat comics for sure. Yes. This isn't a comic. This is how fat people die, by the way. Oh, no. If it was a comic, I'll tell you, we should help some fat comics for sure. Yes. This isn't a comic. Right.

But you definitely know they are. Okay. But yeah. But I don't know what Christine's talking about saying we're definitely going to talk to him. I don't know about that. Well, somebody else we know already talked to him. Somebody told me I should talk to him.

And then what I do is I call a coalition of people and say we should talk to them. But then we never do it. That's what we do at Bobby. Yeah, thank you so much. I appreciate that. We just walk five feet behind you whispering. Did you? And we always say tomorrow's the day

we're gonna call you in for a talk, and then we don't. And that's when you text me, you want breakfast? Yeah. You want me for breakfast, you piece of shit. That's when I go,

Ari fell asleep early. Wanna get a midnight pizza? We're getting meatloaf sandwiches again. Ooh. That's the funniest. Yeah, getting meatloaf sandwiches again. Ooh. That's the funniest. Yeah, you should talk to that person. Let them know. That was the fattest, I mean, activity I ever saw you partake in.

Because I believed you. I bought into the Bobby lie. What lie was that? What the fuck are you talking about? Day one meatloaf sandwich truck, Montreal, Canada, in the year something, 2012, 13? 16, 17. It was a long time ago. 16, 17.

I don't know, maybe like 14. No, no. I'm telling you. You have two people that you love and trust that are saying no. I know. And you're still denying it. But I remember getting super excited

Christine was coming to that, and that had to be 2014 or. It was 2013. You're right. I was super stoked on Christine coming to that theater festival. So like, it had to be a long time ago. It was a long time ago. You're right, I was wrong.

You're out of love with me. That's a drop. I was telling you what you should give her the headphones so you can see what she's doing. I'm like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna give Lindsay headphones so you can hear the show.

Lindsay's here. She's not getting to hear Lou's fucking masterful work. Look at you go. Me and Christine spent the weekend together. Yeah, yeah. Well, Saturday night. Saturday night. Not the weekend.

I spent Friday with the boys and then Saturday with the last boy. The last boy, the last boy. It was nice. I wasn. Not the weekend. I spent Friday with the boys, and then Saturday with the last boy. The last boy, the last boy. It was nice. I wasn't gonna go. I went to Shane's. Christine was like, go! Shane headlined Radio City. Radio studio.

Three shows this weekend. Well I texted you and I was like, you're on the list, here's the directions. I mean, she's so good. You know what I mean? She made, I didn't wanna be that guy. I didn't wanna, hey, I'm here too. But Christine was going, so I was excited about that.

And I knew I'd just hang with Christine, and I'd never see her on the weekends and without you. You know what I mean? Weekend Christine? Yeah, weekend. Do you see when I'm gone? Does she shine? She shines.

I mean, she's fucking, I walked in, she was glowing. Such a general. Vibrant. Yeah, vibrant. I know. I mean, I mean, it was wild. Her energy was like engaging and contagious. I know.

Those two words, I would use both of those words. It's really, we just get through the week and then just go live our lives Thursday to Sunday. She's a different human being on Friday night. She shines, I'm sure. I would describe it as effervescent. Oh. That was her personality.

She's bouncing around. She's having a ball. Like a fresh piece of gum in your mouth, awesome. I know, I'm like human fucking Dramamine or something, puts it right out, melatonin. Yeah, I went over there, right in, no problems. I got a knife in too, I don't know how I did that. Nice.

Went upstairs. Cause you know people, you should've killed Shane just to prove a point. Just sliced his throat. Or at least cut his achilles or something. Just hobble him forever. Yeah, got in, upstairs. Really nonchalant. That's why I love comics. This is just nothing.

Just chicken wings from the cellar, some food. Was it cellar wings? Cellar wings, they had, oh, it's great. Cellar wings, cellar hummus. Cellar wings, cellar hummus. a seller wings seller wings and oh Seller wings sell sell hummus and what was the subs from Jimmy John Jimmy John? Jersey Mike's Jersey Mike's Jersey Mike's and And then they started the show and Shane came in and he asked me if I wanted to do a spot Oh, that's awesome. I didn't even hear you went on and killed

No, I said I said no you said no to going on and killed? No. You didn't kill? I said no. You said no to going on Radio City Music Hall. Oh, dude, that's so awesome. You know, that may have helped sell more than 15 tickets we've currently sold in the Paramount Theater and Huntington and Gettysburg. First of all, we've sold way more than 15 tickets. I don't think we have.

We have. I got the ticket count. I mean, that being said, guys, tickets are still available for the Paramount Show. Low ticket warning. Low ticket warning sold. There's very few tickets left. I think only in the front, middle, and back. Don't look at the seat map.

Do not look at the seat map. Just get tickets. Do not look at the seat map. Listen, you Long Island losers, if you sell off a Jackie the Joke Man and you don't sell out us I'll kill you if you sell if you get to more than 300 people If you sit where the 400 people would be you could probably put your feet upon the seat in front of me

We have a lot of tickets sold no it's packed up, but there are tickets still available get your tickets now Get them now. We'll give tickets away this week. We'll give a couple pairs away a couple pairs of 50? No, Jay, no a couple pairs of 50. Six caller gets 50 pairs of tickets to... That's only 100 more seats. Anybody's birthday you get 100 tickets each. First person to call in with what Bobby's middle name is gets 300 tickets and we'll throw in an extra 10 so you can invite your family We should give some tickets away. We'll give them away today We'll give a couple pairs away this week today. Maybe tomorrow. Okay a couple pairs I think tomorrow shows is gonna be straight calls for pairs of tickets

If you can call in and say any number you get two tickets It's uh, no tickets are, but let's fucking sell it out. I don't wanna be coming down to the wire, I hate that shit. We don't get a brick if we don't sell it out. No. You get a brick, you know that. Have you gotten a brick from the Paramount yet? No.

Oh, when you do the Paramount. I thought you were saying when people say you get a bag, like the money, you get a bag if you sell that place out. You get an actual brick. We're gonna get money and then we're gonna feel sad forgetting that money if we don't sell it out. Yeah, by the way, if you don't sell this place out. You get an actual brick. We're gonna get money and then we're gonna feel sad for getting that money if we don't sell it out. Yeah, by the way, if you don't sell this thing out, I'm gonna throw bricks through all the windows in the car,

the car windows in the parking lot. You're gonna get bricked. You get a brick with your name on it, and the Paramount, when you sell out the Paramount. That's cool. It's kinda cool. When you sell out the Radio City, they give you a Tiffany's gold ticket and pass.

Oh they do? Is that what he got? Yeah, but the bricks probably what? Platinum? No, it's made out of brick. It's actually brick. But mostly brick. But it's like, at Steven Singer's thing it's gold dip brick? No, it's actually just brick. Just brick, just red? It's made out of some type of sandstone. And it's a brick. Okay, compression.

Not even an old brick, it's not even like worth money brick. It's just, they have like a pallet of bricks in the back and they go here, sell out, they write it in chalk. They have a new brick, yeah. They have a new brick pallet from Home Depot in the back and they just give you that brick. It's not like from the original building brick. No, it's a brick, but we'll get a brick.

Bobby, do me a favor, tell the people here the reason why you didn't wanna go on Shane's show. I love this. Okay, first of all, Christine, I was coming, didn't wanna go, because I didn't wanna be the guy hanging out, you know what I mean? And I certainly didn't wanna be the guy, hey, fucking put me on.

I hate that guy. That's not what happened at all. I hate that guy. That's not what happened. You didn't do that. I know. You to you wouldn't do I would never do that I just want to go support Shane and kind of go out and hang out and see Christine I don't really see her out of here or without shows. I've been cool just to hang a little bit and see Epervescent Christine shining Christine. You never get to see that these three days and And then I just wanted to be the fit man. Then he came in and he's like, you want to go up?

Want to do a spot? And I was like, no. You froze. I know I didn't freeze. I didn't freeze at all. I went, no. I said. You answered immediately, but I was like,

he didn't, like, I didn't hear him ask anyone else. Okay. So I just was like. Who's he gonna ask? Well, there were a lot of comics there who there were I'm Josh Marshall DeRosa Beezer So many people that could have gone on but he wanted you great I was fucking honored

But I didn't want to go up and those two guys that's on there, I've been in that spot where you're playing a big event with somebody, and it's your night. They're gonna cut their time down. They're gonna do, oh, you gotta do six now. He was gonna do 10 or 15. Bobby didn't want to blow the young kids out of the water. I mean, I didn't want to murder. Yeah.

I didn't want to fuck up the show your comedy is built for Radio City music Dude, I was like use the stage I just came to see what all the fuss is about I did I did I came to see what all the fuss is about Filled that room dude. Oh, dude I wanted I mean was a part of me when the show started, cause he asked me to do the voicing. Pacing like a tiger on that stage, like a panther.

Well the first two comics went out and just took the mic out and stood there. And I was like, this is a fucking stage. Use it. I would sit on a stool. Yeah, that's your thing. Yeah. You know what I mean?

That's your thing, you sit down on the stool, but if you're, it's like walk around. I wanna do one set though, I just wanna walk around. I want to do one set, though. I just want to walk around like Eddie Murphy, Delirious, nonstop Chris Rock. Yeah! A little bit backwards for a while. You want to dink-cook it?

And then go across, snap back. Yeah. You want to put your leg up on a monitor and go, what's up? Yeah, maybe a little elbow on the knee for a minute, goes, guys, let's mix it up for a little bit. What do you say? Lean on an ashtchick on a monitor? Absolutely.

I just, look it. Noah, that's very, and I'm sure the other comics on that show, what was it, Sam Jay? No, she didn't go on the first show. It actually was like, oh wow, that ended way early. It was James McCann, who's an Australian comic. It ended way early. Oh, some Aussie fucking took your time.

There was a new guy, brand new guy, and he was like, dude, this guy's great. You're gonna love him, he's the next big, whatever. And you didn't wanna make them forget about him when you went up there afterwards and decimated the place. Okay, here's two things that could've happened. Hey, go up front, right?

Open the show, and then I take a fat hot one? That would've sucked a bag of dicks, right? Or, I go out and fucking murder. You know you're gonna murder. You casted off that, you casted off that other one so fast. I'm getting super in the cocky comedy, fucking Corey Holcomb is the best broadcaster in all of broadcasting, perhaps.

He really is. He may have taken over for me from Howard Stern how good Corey Holcomb is. Hey everybody, if you're listening to The Bonfire as a podcast, you gotta know there's a whole second half of the show that you're not getting to hear. Look, if you love the Bonfire, which you know you do, this is just half of the show.

Go subscribe to SiriusXM at siriusxm.com slash bonfire. Subscribe right now. He opened his last show, I guess, because he got all that shit going with Donnell Rawlings, if you don't know what that is. Did we talk about that on the show at all? Him and Donnell had it out. We talked about it. We had it on the thing.

We talked about it a little bit, but not too much. He was on stage at the Laugh Factory, and he was calling Donnell. Let me tell you something, there's a couple words that you use for comics that really ... Oh, this is the worst. It's like the comics that really, it's like the N word for comics. I know exactly what you have. Mild. Mild, keeps calling Donnell a mild comic, which is just, Corey Hulcom's so funny,

Donnell's hilarious by the way too, I don't have a dog in the fight other than Corey's being much more entertaining about it, like during this. But just to forget even like the Donnell stuff, this is an episode where he calls Godfrey gay a bunch and then Godfrey calls. The thing about this is Godfrey's response,

I thought was gonna be violent and angry and screaming and fight back. Yeah, but it's not a white person he's talking to. But he said to Godfrey. Everyone I texted that to, that podcast, I was like, if any white comic ever went anywhere, even remotely close to what he's saying about Godfrey, Godfrey would have booked a flight to LA

to go fucking kill, like, violent anger, for sure. For some reason, Corey Holcomb did it, and Godfrey's just like, ah, come on, man. It was weird. And Corey Holcomb's dressed in pink.frey's just like, ah, come on, man. It was weird. And Cory Holcomb is dressed in pink. He looks like the keyboard player for the Times. It's like, you're calling Godfrey gay right now? It's like, what the fuck?

Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. Yeah, he looks, like he. That's fantastic. Wait a second, it says Godfrey checks Cory live. It's not, you know what? Godfrey's gotta like, I don't think Godfrey and Dante, who are the two hosts of the show, was it in Godfrey We Trust on Gas Digital?

I don't think they heard, because they call in during Corey's podcast, and he's already in the middle of talking about how gay they are. Well, you know, he was talking about Godfrey, and then Godfrey called in, and then in the middle of it in the middle of Talking about the whole situation. He goes Godfrey What was that white guy you had over your house to sleep over that that gay that gay white guy, right?

And Godfrey was like what it's Modi that fuck Godfrey up and then he went through the timeline We told the store that's where Godfrey messed up. That's where he messed up. So I wanna say, yeah, it's bad. That's a bad slip up. He said, no, he didn't come out yet. He's like, mm. Godfrey has two things on there that don't go well in that conversation with Corey Holcomb. He asks him about, yeah, he says Modi told him

that he was, at one point, I remember this time, by the way, when Modi started just hooking up with girls again. It was shocking. Yeah, it was weird. And at that time, him and Godfrey went back to hook up with chicks at Godfrey's house. This is the story that Godfrey's telling. And then he hears in the other room,

Modi and his girl arguing when he comes out, he goes, this is why I suck dick, because who can deal with these chicks like this? And it's hilarious. And then Gorka goes, but you had, so a gay dude says he wants to fuck some pussy once in a while, and you have him over to your house with two other girls?

And he's like, no, I didn't know he was gay. He goes, so he came out of the closet right, now Godfrey said at first that it was funny, and then he goes, yeah, and when he said it, he was like, yeah, I'm gay, Godfrey. And I was like, what the fuck, Moe, do you get it? That was never in the story before. No, he walked out of the room, he was mad

because he was holding a strap on and the girl wouldn't use it. That's why he was mad. And I don't think Godfrey's gay. I'm just saying he didn't defend himself well in this thing. He just froze up and started panicking out of it. And it was, but I bet him and Dante are pretty pissed now. They saw the whole thing.

Well, he wasn't really, Corey wasn't really fucking with Dante as much as you fucking with Godfrey. Oh yeah, no much more Godfrey. He doesn't really know Dante. No. But, why I say he's the best broadcaster, nothing to do with any of that.

When he starts off the show, apparently, because people are digging in on him now because he's, you know, and all this like beef with people that they said he is fucking like his co-host and he goes yeah because everybody on the internet saying they they know that I'm fucking D over here so would you catch me he goes so what they said on the internet that my wife left me because I'm fucking around with Dee. So?

He just never does admit it. That's a great way to live. He's so honest. And then he's talking to her at one point. I guess she does her segment on the show. And it's a hot picture of her from a couple years ago or something. And he's like, man, look at you in that picture, girl.

You look good. She's like, I know. I got to get back to it. like man. Look at you in that picture girl. You look good She's like I know I gotta get back to it goes. Yeah, you got a gut now He's the he's the Kevin Brennan with fucking humor he just goes that he's so funny Broadcaster Godfrey panicked it was so weird see. I've never seen Godfrey panic ever. But as soon as he... It's a big, big personality. He called up ready to fight with Corey Holcomb and have it out. And as soon as he went,

Yo, Godfrey, didn't you bring a white dude, a gay white dude back to your house? Godfrey went, oh shit. But he also wasn't, I don't think he was. I think he called him the whole time to kind of keep it cool and on the't, I don't think he was, I think he called him the whole time to kind of keep it cool and on the level. I don't think Goffrey's looking for real, he'll say it in his show, which we all do by the way,

I'm not great at real shit either, but I mean like when TI, he had the thing with TI, and then TI called and it was just like a love fest. Do you know what I mean? He kept going, no TI, I love, whatever he said on the other show, he was just kind of backtracking. And then this was just, he told Cory that story before,

that's one of the stories, like, you just shouldn't have told Cory Holcomb. You know what I mean? I wouldn't tell Cory Holcomb about the time I took gum with my teeth out from between Justin Silver's balls and dick. He's not gonna get why that's funny. I'm sorry, what did you just say?

I don't get why it's funny. What happened? Yes, you do. I'm sorry, what did you just say? I don't get why it's funny. What happened? Yes, you do. Wait a minute, what did you do? We were having, we were doing gay chicken. What's? You know, who's gonna do the gayer thing and a group of white guys to make each other laugh harder.

And what was yours? Justin, you know how the wiener lays on the balls? Yes, I do. He put a stick of gum, like a long stick of gum, coming out of it, and I took the gum with my teeth and pulled it out. With the new teeth or the old teeth? Old teeth. Those teeth are gone now.

That's fine, that's fine. You gotta throw those teeth out because of them. Oh yeah, these gay ass teeth. I go file these gay ass teeth down to nothing. Make them little chicks. My teeth are trans. You got queer teeth under those manly teeth you got there. My teeth are so queer.

You got little in the closet teeth trying to come out. By the way, side note, I haven't looked up any of it yet, but you want to love a guy even more than you do. Casey Dutton, Luke Grimes from Yellowstone. Yes. Casey? Yeah. The guy who I'm going to be when you're a rip?

Yeah, I'm a rip. Although I'm starting to feel like I'm more of a rip. You're really not. No, I'm not. No when you're a rip? Yeah, I'm a rip. Although I'm starting to feel like I'm more of a rip. You're really not. No, I'm not. No, you're not a rip. I'll be a Casey. I would say you're really probably more. Don't you dare say a bull or a cow.

I'm a branded cow. Here's a random branded cow, dude. Moo. You're like a tractor. You're more like the brother that got killed. Luke Grimes' name is. I didn't know he's an actual country singer. I bet he kills.

This is like Jensen Echols shit to me. He sings? He became a country singer because of the show. Come on, did he? I became a drummer because of Sex, Drugs, and Rockerill, too. Every actor on this show just adopted one full in into the country lifestyle. Like sons of anarchy. They act like they've only ever eaten

from a chuck wagon their entire life. You know Rip is from Boston. Yeah, that dude from Beat Town. Clean shaven from Boston. He's part of the Bed Affleck, what's his face crew, I think in the crew. Turn it up. He's 100% Boston.

Did he have you? Oh no. I'll be a drunk without a drink today. Yeah, he's he's heard up 100% boss. Oh No He's doing a voice You gotta get a video of him ten years ago before Yellowstone an interview with him when he talked regular Ten years ago before Yellowstone an interview with him when he talked regular It's like that Elvis jerk-off kid He was Elvis for a year and a half after I don't know let me get a number one with a extra-fri Yeah, what do you mean? I'm like Elvis Elvis sound like me

It is I can't get it out of my system. It's the totally regular guy. What's his name? See Thomas Howell did the same thing. I know. It's so lame. I don't know. Let me just stick to that.

It's the easiest music to just pick up though. It's hard not to fall into this world when you're around it. Let me tell you something. this world, when you're around it, when you're around it. Let me tell you something. If I spend five days in Nashville, by the fifth day, I will unironically be wearing cowboy boots and a hat. And my hat might have a giant turquoise thing on the front of it.

I'm gonna be that kind of guy. Peacock feathers, yeah. Peacock feathers. He's just alone in a barn. This makes me not like him more. Why did they give him fucking movie sweat for a music video? He's in a horse barn right now. It's a hundred degrees He just finished putting up one of those beams and he goes, oh a guitar. Hugga mugga booga hunk, slappa tappi hymth bidi. This is him back in the day. Oh is he the one who shot Oh Is he the one who shot did he kill

American sniper oh My god, he needs the hair and everything, huh? I don't want to be this guy at all. He needs a mustache to I think he has a hair lip I don't mind the hair lip little split in the stash in a weird spot What no country accent here is just to To you know honor the real people doesn't know doesn't it? That'd be funny this interview he's like he's like, yo, they asked me if I wanted to be in this movie, and I was like, yo, word up, I'll be straight up in that movie, dog, all day long.

So the whole shoot was pretty lit, dog, and if I'm being honest, bruh, bruh, if I'm being honest, I'm looking at this new role in The Yellowstone, bunch of horses and shit. Kevin Costner up in them, a field of dreams up in that bitch. Me and Don, me and Don, we fake accents all the time.

You told me that, and you guys don't on fuck, which is pretty hilarious. You guys role play life. We do. Her name's Dixie Lizard, my name's Bucky Lizard, and we sure have a good time up in New Hampshire in the summer. Does Max get weirded out by it? Max is buckshot, and he hates it. We we sure have a good time up in the Hampshire in the summer

Max is buckshot And he hates it. I go your name is buckshot because I don't like it. I like Max. I'm like, it's buckshot Me and Dixie me and Dixie don't name you buckshot. That's what it is This is the story the beginning of a serial killer though. You tell that my dad mom would roleplay different people at night I'm a serial killer though. My dad and mom would role play different people at night. It was weird. Dixie. I like it. I'll be in the outhouse.

That's the accent that you like though. That's an easy accent to fake and you can do it because you are American. It's not like faking. Do you think you're faking that accent well? God damn right I am. It sounds like you're from Boston doing a fake accent.

When that guy comes in on Wednesday, I'm gonna do it anyways now. He listens to the show. Well, ee-haw! Well, I hope you listen today, you cocksucker, because I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday.

I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I'm gonna be talking anyways now. He listens to the show. Well, ee-haw! Well, I hope you listen today, you talk sucker, because I'm gonna be talking like this on Wednesday. I reckon I wasn't here last time you were on this here show. The hooky-dooky hunk of C. That's like Madonna when she went to England for a year and she came back with an English accent.

I remember that. You can't help it. You can't present the world a whole new fucking accent, Austin Butler and Luke Grimes. I loved you so much until that moment. I'm so hurt by him. But does he still talk like that? Does he talk with the twang?

Please bring up a Luke Grimes interview when he's got the long hair and the hat on. I bet he's wearing a hat even when he doesn't have to wear a hat now. You know who wears a hat all the time? Me. No. Around my house, in my New York apartment.

Rip wears a, he was at the rodeo. He does it now? He goes to rodeos and shit. I love it. Just for fun, huh? They just had him at a rodeo, waving high and saying, all the people. And I think he said, howdy.

I'm pretty sure. I wear one around my house, a cowboy hat. And then before I go to bed, I tell Christine I'm gonna get some shut eye, and I just put the head over my face a little bit you roll up You roll up a blanket and lie on just a blanket look at him. Look at this fuck. Look at him He's already wearing a fuck all dungarees fucking Canadian tuxedo Fucking leather Stetson though that he like kills it in. Yeah, it looks like it was made for him to wear. Yeah You should you should put the hat on and go see our boy over and get your haircut next time.

See what he says. Man, he's a full-grown hair garb. You look so good. Oh, you would have looked like Fat Cowboy four weeks ago. What size horse do you get on? Please don't hurt horsies. Please make sure the horse is capable of holding your weight. He's wearing boots.

Can you hear it? Pain pills or pews. Oh it's pain pills or pews. They always go to Jesus they go back to Jesus. Oh Christ what a pretentious name for an album. I've had my problems. Pain pills or pews. All country guys are fucking addicted to drugs and Jesus But I'm here's voice. Let's hear him fake this goddamn Or pew there you go one of the gals who works here, and I won't mention her name, but it's Claire Get it thought pews were this sound that the laser gun in Star Wars. She's not the only one yeah Star Wars he's not the only one yeah No, he's not figuring the voice, but I think the voice is you have to tell you what though

You can't you can't talk regular in country voice. You can't be like I was going down the stairs And that's what Jesus was there. You can't get it. You gotta put the twang on. Hucka-ducka-hmm-hee. Something in an old car. That's all the songs. But a doodle memory. What other song do you have on your album? Hucka-duck-a-go to church. Go to church.

Something in you find you a fine ass woman. Although country is still the only thing you can still be like like talk like like hair metal was you talk like that? What do you mean? Because if you have like the bubbly countries where they go she got some fat old Yeah, let's hear him sing oh he's gonna sing live I'm a cowboy. You are. I started this. I mean, he's going to into it. I'm a cowboy you are I Started this I mean he's gonna sell you started what he's gonna sell cowboy trend started fake cowboying No, I was a real cowboy you you have to say before Yellowstone was ever a show I was pushing the cowboy lifestyle on the show, but it started you can't push the cowboy lifestyle You don't live the cowboy lifestyle. You're from New Jersey.

You're pushing the idea of it. Yes, but it's in me. But you're a poser. Just because you wear it. Jacob, you don't live it. How dare you? You don't live it. You don't live the cowboy life.

You don't know me. I do. No, you don't. I know you crazy well. You don't know anything I do in Florida, Christine. Yeah, we do. You hunt iguanas and live in a room with your mom's dolls. I believe Taylor Sheridan listened to this show and got the idea for Yellowstone because

when I used to tell are you him and then don't say this wait a second wait wait wait wait say that again Beth is eating bacon you start from the beginning what did you did you say you believe Yellowstone was created because of this show? Yes. What? What came first, the bonfire or Yellowstone? The bonfire, for sure. And who was pushing the cowboy lifestyle? To you and Dan, who laughed, get a load of this guy, cowboy hats.

Every time we were going to go to Moon Tower, oh, they yucked it up when I told them they'd look good in cowboy hats. And then they bought them, and then they loved them. And now he wants a ranch because of this show. And Taylor Sheridan saw that. Heard it, heard it. He heard it and then was like, oh my God, I got an idea. I believe the character Rip is a tongue in chief

saying, F you, Jacob, Rip is ripping off Jacob. Yes. So Rip is ripping off Jacob. Yes. So RIP is ripping you off. That's what that means. Jacob, because you wear earth tones, doesn't make you a cowboy. That's the craziest thing I've ever heard a person say. We do, we know exactly how you live, Jacob.

I know. In the city, of course. You want me to ride my horse down Fifth Avenue? So you're a cowboy six weeks a year? I'm not gonna be a jerk off and be a cowboy in New York City like a dipshit. Jacob, when was the last time you were on a horse? I was on a horse farm. I worked on the horse farm.

When was the last time? You forget that. When was the last time? It's been years. It doesn't mean I don't want to ride a horse again. So what the fuck? I worked on a farm in Juve Hall. That doesn't make me a farmer. I saw a horse once but you didn't you didn't adopt it adopt

What you didn't adopt the horse lifestyle look the cowboy lifestyle. I did It was in me. It's not though Why are you arguing me Christine because it's psychotic what you're saying it's crazy It's actually like I like I know you're joking around because this is psychotic. It's not what you mean. You've done the cowboy lifestyle. You have-

Will you fantasize about Rip? Listen to me. You're fantasizing about Jacob. Jacob, Jacob. Will you play when you post about that Boston cowboy who adopted the chuck wagon lifestyle? He's walking the walk. I think Christine's flicking bean over Casey

if I'm crazy. Because he's getting paid millions for it. Or maybe he's just my thing. Jacob, you have- Riff gets paid millions to be Riff. The lifestyle you have is more like an Englishman who sells pens. Yeah. Right, in New York, that's why I don't like it.

I have to not live my lifestyle living in New York. So you have two lifestyles. Jacob, you don't cowboy in Boca Raton. The cowboy, I don't live in Boca Raton. Cowboys don't have little disco leather belts. They have big man belts with buckles on them. Yeah, where's your buckles? I have a regular belt.

Yeah, you don't have a buckle? That's a little, that's a little. I'm not wearing, Bobby. What a little ass buckle. I would never dress like a rancher walking around New York. Jacob, I don't know. How else will people know that I'm heavy metal

and punk rock if they don't see my belt? With your phony wallet chain to nowhere. It's not phony. Jacob, please start. It's a loop chain. How else will people know that I'm in a midlife crisis, 53 year old man, if I didn't wear this crazy, stupid stuff, trying to dress like a young boy?

I don't know what we're arguing about. I really don't know what you're arguing with me about. You're not a cowboy. You said you've adopted lifestyle. First of all, won't admit now making a joke out of it that that Yes, that doesn't mean you what you don't think there are Jersey Cowboys. No, there's no where the horse farm was where they are farms, but There's not a horse farm. Yes. It was did a couple horses. No, I had stables and stables I was a whole horse stable of what I would say 20 or 30 name three horses Duke was no name. You told me to name the name three types of horses. I

Don't know. Thank you Show Donna. I bet you rip nose my head must have a yucca. Oh, done. I bet you Riff knows. Mustang. I bet you Cole Howser knows. Colt. I'm not even a horse guy. Mustang, Colt. I know Mustang, yeah. Colts. What do you want for this?

Huh? I knew those. Clydesdale. Clydesdale, boom. It would have come to me if you're just putting me on the spot. I know those three like everyone else. Nope.

Sorry, Jacob, I'm the cowboy of the show now. I knew it. I knew too. You're a farmer. Me and Bobby are more cowboys. You're not a cowboy. You don't know. You said Duke. You're a day worker dude. You're a day worker on the ranch. You're a hand. Yeah you're a Mexican dude. Yeah. Me and Bobby at Rant were cowboys. You didn't work, what did you do on the horse farm? Everything. Name one. Even shoveled shit. Cleaned out the stalls. Okay what else? Saddled the horses. Really? Walked Name one. Even shoveled shit, cleaned out the stalls. Okay, what else? You wanna last one? Saddled the horses.

Really? Walked the horses, Rode the road. Did you ride them? All day long. Really? Yes. Where do you keep your feet?

How do you keep your feet in a horse? What do you mean, in the stirrups? Yeah, but how? What are you talking about? How, when you ride, what are you supposed to do? Spurs. I don't get what you're saying. I'm saying when you ride a horse,

how are you supposed to have your feet? Are you supposed to sit down in the saddle, just go with the bump, are you supposed to? It depends what you want. If you want the horse to ride it like a slut. A candor, a gallop, you give him a little squeeze on the side. A little squeeze on the side.

Yeah. It depends also, you gotta know your horse. Like Duke, he was a thoroughbred, he would take off. Like most people couldn't ride Duke. But a lot of people, I did ride Duke, but even he I was smaller if you can imagine than I am now I mean I was 15 year old Jacob so I wrote Duke a few times a lot of times I got I had to ride Blueberry you should get out of a horse named Blueberry

a lot of people had to ride Blueberry. It was an old dog. Like the kids that showed up at the farm? Right, but I rode other horses, too. Sarah, give Jacob Blueberry. You take Duke. Jacob, if I get a sheep up here, will you mutton bust? No, I don't know what that is. That's when you have to ride a sheep.

Well, I wouldn't do that. To you, it's a joke. No, no, no, there's definitely, it is a joke that you saying you've adopted the cowboy lifestyle. You want a ranch too, you just came late to the party. No, no, I'm not gonna ranch. I've always known that I am gonna have a ranch.

No, no, I'm not ranching, for sure. You're gonna have a ranch? He wants to have a ranch. He just doesn't wanna work the ranch. Of course he doesn't, he wants to own the ranch. Yeah. Right. Like Dutton. What is John Dutton?

I wanna fuck the governor and fuckin' own the ranch. Like Dutton. Like you and we are. I wanna fuck the governor and fuckin' own the ranch. Yeah. I wanna own it, but I wanna work my land too. I'll hire a black and a girl and a female ranch hand so people don't think I'm racist or misogynistic the way John Dutton did. He's good. He's good.

We get an Asian guy in there, that thing is capped off. First of all, I love that they didn't put an Asian guy in yet, thank God. Yeah, only Henry Cho. He's not in the show. No, but he's the only cowboy Asian I've ever seen. Was the other one Henry Cho? Who's Henry?

Oh, yeah, he was in Texas. Yeah, he had the twang too. By the way, Christine, you're not a California flower child. She's not. She's not, oh, well she claims to be. No. What? Jacob, do you understand what a cowboy is?

Do I? Yeah, well you've. Do I understand what a cowboy is? You know a cowboy's. I like that you all watch the show and now you're experts on the cowboy enlightenment. I am no cowboy. First of all, I'm the only one here who owns land.

I'm a city city. I have woods. You can see it right there on the shirt. I'm way more of a California flower child than you are a cowboy. You're in New York City, Christine. How can you be a California? Born and raised on the beach

in the cliffs of California. You're from New Jersey. You're from New Jersey, Christine. Jacob, she has a great point. You have no association with the cowboy lifestyle. You can't say a Jersey farm. I worked on a horse farm. Christine, you're a great point. You have no association with the cowboy lifestyle. You can't say a Jersey farm. I worked on a horse farm for an entire summer. You go, Christine, you're not a California.

She's a California something, for sure. You worked on it for one summer? I don't understand why you can't be a cowboy if you lived in New Jersey, like that preclude. Like there were no cowboys in New Jersey. Number one, you gave, this is one thing a cowboy never does, give up the lifestyle. Yeah. I didn't give up the lifestyle, this is one thing a cowboy never does, give up the lifestyle. You gave it up.

I didn't give up the lifestyle, this is where I work. Now you work in the big city, you like electricity. You could have worked for a ranch. You could be there right now, we'll get you a job tomorrow. You wanna work back on the farm? Let's call him up. Jacob, I co-sign you leaving, no but you have to get in from the inside,

that's how this works. You get in as a ranch hand, you live in the bunk house, and then you work your way up to the big house. Did you live in a bunk house? No, I didn't stay at the ranch. I mean, Cowboys. I lived at home. He's saying would you?

I was a teen kid. Would you stay in a bunk house? No, I'm not staying. I want to own my own ranch now. So you just want to jump right to ranch ownership, Cowboying, instead of working your way through the thing. It's crazy. I'm going right from Jacob producer in the Bonfire in New York City to Yellowstone Kevin Costner owner. Jacob Yellowstone. Guys, are you alright? Are you okay? I don't know why this is a thing to you all.

I feel like you've been in the middle of a gas leak or something today. You definitely don't live the cowboy lifestyle even in Florida I said, I know I don't live the cowboy lifestyle. I Said it's in me though. Yeah, I said I at heart. I'm a cowboy that I don't live the cowboy lifestyle You're right. So there's a little guy. That would be weird, but I don't go I'm gay. Yeah, and Bobby's heart. He's gay Yeah in my heart. I'm gay, but I don't go I'm gay. Yeah and Bobby's heart he's gay. Yeah in my heart I'm gay, but I don't do gay stuff I don't fantasize about owning my my gay ranch. He's certainly with Justin comes and visits me in the summer and brings his dogs Takes it

Let me see what is he doing in LA with no eyes on him. What's he doing in LA right now? I bet his shirts off so much What's this Italian photographer doing here? Do you mind if my Italian foe, Todd, stays with us? He's a shutterbond. I'm staying with my friend, who? You don't know him. God damn it, Justin. He's gorgeous and you don't know him.

He's a big producer, shit. He's living in my house for three months and then never again. I'm gonna get my dog show back. But it's gonna take some work. All right, we gotta take a break. We got a big show coming up. Hey, you know, yeah, while we go on this commercial break, now's probably the time to just jump over

to robertkellylive.com or bigjcomedy.com and grab tickets for this show. It's at the Paramount. It's in Long Island and you guys, listen, you guys are, I mean, we have so many fans out there Get the tickets now stop stressing us out by now before we give away 600 tomorrow That is March 21st 8 p.m. It's a Thursday night. You have no reason not to be there you live in Long Island relax The swingers parties are on Saturday nights, and we and we're bringing everybody out

We're gonna have some people do some guest spots. Yeah, let's start lying. Chappelle said he might come by. Shane is actually, I said, he said yes. He did say yes already. Unlike what I did. Okay. Cause I have.

You're like, do come out to Paramount, he said yes. He's at 100%. And then whoever else you love's gonna be there. Yeah. Vic DiBattetto. Vic DiBattetto. Vic DiBattetto. Yeah, he's big. Vicky potato Vicky, but by the teto Yeah, he's big on Long Island Kumon G non Giga Gangee

Yeah, oh and a is gonna get back together from one night only one night only Jim with Jim and his wife with Jim and his wife And then cook Bobby the reunion on stage Jay's coming. Jay and Gary were stepping in. I tell you who's not gonna be there. Who? This cowboy over here. Not this cowboy. He's gonna go. Ranch is calling. That's right. He's gonna be wrangling iguanas down in Florida. Yeah. What do you do? Do you just like you hop on like a pony and just walk along a bunch of iguanas taking it to the next part of town? Jacob what are you doing? I'm having iguana tail suit. Sorry, I got corralling iguanas.

I got rustlers to run out of town. We should send, we should send Jacob down to the Mexico border to take care of things. Can I brand you? Let me brand your chest with a bonfire logo. Yeah, let's do that. You're a real cowboy. You in? That's not a cowboy thing. Are you out of your mind? That's the cowboy thing. That's the thing. On your show that you watch. Yeah right here right here on the heart bonfire logo I'll do it. I'll do it if you do it in for life you two do it. I'm not gonna do it for life

I have soft skin I burnt my head this weekend Wow sounds like I'm the only cowboy here. Do you have a metal plate in your head? Why did that happen? I see what happened? I will talk about when we come back. Someone put a cigar on your head. Did your stepdad come back? Big J look at you and change Dad big J funny bone Kansas City this weekend eighth through the ninth. That's Friday and Saturday, correct? Yes, indeed. Just four shows and then after that is gonna be a Westniac right up by me should stop by have some snacks Las Vegas Jacksonville for tickets and all of the big J comedy comm Robert Kelly gonna be a comics Mohegan Sun, Connecticut March 7th through the night. It's this weekend this week a Thursday through sat come hang out

We're gonna smoke at the old The cigar lounge up there and I'll tell you this if you sell it out Bobby will stay and do a Sunday show. After that, Poughkeepsie New York, Houston, Texas, guaranteed. No, 100% not. And the Comedy Mothership in Austin, if you sell those out, he will add three more shows

at the Comedy Mothership. I will do that. Three. 100% will do that. More shows. I will do five more shows. I'll move to Austin. I'll do the show via Zoom.

We'll be right back. Well, you are splitting a billion dollars per ticket. We'll be right back. Well, you are splitting a billion dollars per ticket We'll be right back. It's the bonfire