The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Mr. Personality
Episode Date: December 16, 2021The gang searches for male beauty pageants and stubble across Mr. Personality Belgium!Stream "The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder" for 3 months free on the SiruisXM app! Offer Details Apply:... www.SiriusXM.com/BonfireFollow us on all social media @TheBonfireXM @DanSoder www.DanSoder.com@BigJayOakerson www.BigJayOakerson.com
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I'm Dan Soder and I'm Big J. Okreson and welcome to the Bonfire podcast.
You can hear our full show every day on Series XM.
Go to seriousexem.com slash bonfire for a special offer.
And now the Bonfire with Big J. Okreson and Dan Soder.
Welcome to the Bonfire on Faction Talk Series XM 103.
I'm Dan Soder, that's Big J. Okreson.
Full crew assembled Vultron
fully assembled we got DJ Lewitsky Christine Marie Evans in studio Jacob
atot in our black King the black tiger Lewis.
J. O.
Jacob you leave us again tomorrow.
Yeah it's fucking insane. It's insane. You are
garying us in the Christmas season. You'll never be back. You'll never be back
Sure, the fucking oxy moron strains out you're done. Yeah, you
Exagon once it gets to the my apartment
Yes, yeah, dude. Just do push ups. Get jacked
By yourself. Are you saying the best thing is that you're get to hang out with your folks?
No, I'm not crazy about that. I just have my family. I do a lot all my stuff By yourself, are you saying the best thing is that you're get to hang out with your folks?
Nah, I'm not crazy about that. I just have my family. I do a lot all my stuff. I like to do. I can only do down there.
Yeah, it's all outdoorsy. J's sipping on a yingling Hershey's, the block way better than I thought it would be.
Black Lou brought in a yingling Hershey's mix. Where did you get that?
People just came to my house and kind of dropped it off. Yeah for a party or whatever and hmm
I got some specialty beers. I swear to God. I thought he just gave me something
He just found on his front step. That's why he said that he goes. I don't know someone left it on my step
Outside of my house. Yeah party. England dude
Pennsylvania classic. I don't like yingling, but
The chocolate's pretty good. Oh, yingling not a oh, I was thinking Guinness. This isn't like Guinness.
No, no, no, yingling's good.
Yingling's like a, I remember what I remember yingling
from is being super hung over opening for you
on that Richie Reading gig when we watched
Nikanon's special.
And I drank fucking five yinglings during Jset.
And he got a shit.
You got a, when I ate shit, shit.
No, we murdered.
Well, we murdered that small thing.
Richie Reading.
Yeah, the Richie Reading gig.
Because I was on the drive down. Do you remember we were
talking about I this is like my this is some of my autism, but I
can remember specific our conversations before Nick Cannon, which
was a lion's share of the ride down to Philly, we were we were
look I was looking them up on YouTube and we're playing them
over your speakers. We talked about watching our early clips of
standup.
And I had told you, I was so hungover,
I found the DVD that morning,
and I put it in and it made me nauseous.
Watching myself do standup.
So I was telling you on the drive down to my,
I'm fucked up, like I'm very hungover.
And then we got to that small theater,
we did the show after my set,
I just started banging back in the Englands.
Yeah.
That's what I'm always back in the game.
I remember sitting on a chair in a place I wasn't supposed to be
with four empty in-lings around me and just watching you, like,
having the time of my life. And Richard writing was like, you
keep sitting over here. I was like, I'm fucking half in the bag.
What are you gonna do about it? I wasn't any kind of drunk drunk.
I drove home last night. It was hours after I had drank at that
point. And I felt horrible today last night and today a little bit.
You had the same night when you feel like shit.
Yeah, it was just like,
felt just wow.
Well, our our live, our holiday extravaganza live from the village
underground will be broadcast tomorrow.
You can hear it from 5 to 7 on
serious XM faction. It was a fun one. It was a very fun night. Jay got spring break drunk and then
came back down. But it's killing like, it's killing a white clause. It'll make you feel
sugary. Yeah, it's a key was not sugar, right? It's a gauvet. Well, he's not the big thing is why
it's better for you. I think I maybe. I I Just didn't I didn't realize how much sugar was in booze until I quit now. I love sugar
We all agreed that that's the most
You gotta take the man
Not an I mean I understand sorry, Jacob. You're doing are you dressed? Yeah, to talk
Are you wearing your ninja costume for us? Yeah, go ahead scorpion. We've never seen you drink more than we seen you drink
on stage last night.
Yeah.
Yeah, right?
That was kind of impressive when the other shots were coming in.
I was like, all right, real boozy, Susie.
I said you drink a lot, didn't you?
Because I think it was four shots and like three or four.
Four white claws.
Four white claws?
Three.
I thought you had three man goes in a lemon.
Yes, you did. I didn't have four. Yeah, he didn't. It's so weird. Like thought you had four. I thought you had a three man goes in a lemon. Yes, you did
I didn't have four
Yeah, he didn't key it's so weird like we went home. He doesn't keep drinking
I know that's why I'd throw up he just he like got he like got hung over yeah from his drinking last night
That's that magical Jewish blood you know you had for you're counting them. I gave you one mm-hmm
You had two mangoes from Liz and I gave you a lemon
I think it was too much for
We're having a party man my rain my alcoholic rain man brain counted it
I was like I know exactly how they have it here easy to county can throw him on the ground like yeah, Stone Cold
Yeah, it was great. It was very funny.
Now I control, remember the whole night?
It was very, very good.
You were great.
Honestly, watching you last night
gave me a bigger itch than I've had in quite some time
to drink.
I was like, damn, this looks fun.
And the chain's out of blast.
Well, yeah, you'll see the show.
But the chain bullied me in that fourth shot.
You're screwed.
And I would have never done.
Did you eat? At what point did you start coming down? I think it's a shame bullied me in that fourth shot. I would have never done.
Did you eat? At what point did you start coming down?
I mean, by the time we were like,
I said, by the time we left, I was like,
How good was that first cigarette though?
Oh, outside.
Oh, nice.
Fuck.
Eight, seven drinks.
Seven or eight drinks, I remember you had.
You go outside and have that first cigarette.
That is for no one.
Yeah.
Only smokers know how fucking great that is.
When you're just starting to feel warm and then you're like,
shh, ooh, okay.
True joy.
DJ Lil' I have to assume you didn't drive home.
No, I even got left behind by my brother.
No, let's stand standing.
He wanted to go.
Yeah, he wanted to go and I was just too busy
wrapped up in all kinds of conversations.
Was it great? I made a few new best friends, Don't remember their names. What time did you get home?
230 I had a Uber that last bus wasn't running it like to I saw Liz from the seller leaving work
Leaving yeah, I've never seen Liz leave. Oh, yeah, I didn't know she left. Yeah, I'm like oh listen around here
Ever seen Liz Lee. No, yeah, I didn't know she left.
Yeah, I'm like, oh, Liz lives around here.
Yeah, she does.
She's over the street.
Yeah, that's very funny.
When did you leave Jacob?
Not far out, not long after you left.
Yeah, I said hello to everyone and then I'm like,
Did you black out, Lou?
No, man, I'm used to going hard.
Yeah.
Do you not black out?
I just assume you like are blacked out a lot.
No, my goal is not to I want to remember everything
If I don't remember everything then I fucked up, but I want to hug okay black Lou how long did you hang around last night?
I hung around until I'd say 11 30
I'm okay had two beers in the water and went home to the little man smart hell. Yeah smart
I gotta yeah, I got a pizza and went home to the Canadian murder.
You got a pizza? Full pizza.
Full pizza.
From where?
Joe's.
Oh, you ordered over in the corner.
Yeah.
And then went home.
Orgered and then walked over, grabbed it and then went home.
Yeah, it was great.
Very tempting to eat on the way home.
Oh, I bet.
I was in there.
The cock doesn't tempt me at all.
Really?
I was stuck in the tunnel for a second and I was like, probably pop on these peps in.
It was half, what's funny about Joe's is it's so good, you'll let them be mean to you
because I ordered a pepperoni full pie and I was like, can I get a full pepperoni?
And the guy's like, yeah cool, 10 minutes come in and I went in and I was like, can I get that pepperoni?
And he's like, what? And I was like, yeah, I called it for Dan. He goes, now,
now, and I was like, well, I called 10 minutes ago.
There's more than one Joe's. So there's one of 14th.
I made sure I called the one on the car mines.
And I was like, yeah, I ordered a large pepperoni to go and he's like,
I got a half cheese half pepperoni.
I was like, I'll take it. Give me that right now for cash. And I said, cash. And I was like, I don a half cheese half pepperoni. I was like, I'll take it. Give me that right now for cash.
And I said, cash, and I was like, I don't know
who's fuck people.
Because I don't care.
Take it.
I think you deserve.
Yeah, dude here, no change.
You are a fucking saint.
And then I got out of there.
So because I just didn't want someone showing up
being like half pizza, half, half cheese.
And I got the best pepperoni.
But it was great.
And it was a very enjoyable pizza.
Good way to cap the night off. My mouth is like watering right now for just pizza. It's a very enjoyable pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza.
It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good pizza. It's a very good food in the house too. I know. Why is your pizza not pizza coming here?
I don't know.
The next best thing.
Kammo!
Road pizza!
Kammo!
That's pizza wrapped up in a fucking treat.
Pretzel pizza.
Pretzel pizza!
Absolutely.
Just like a mama used to make.
In Sicily.
There's something something we never really got to talk about this week.
I want to watch with you so bad, Steve Harvey have you heard about this Steve Harvey hosting Miss USA
and she and he one of the girls said I think she can make animal sounds or something
and gave her some of that family feud energy he does and he has to do it and then she just
starts making weird animal noise it's like it's like coming to America, like, buck like a dog.
Really?
It reads like that.
She a voice romanticist?
We'll find out.
I didn't watch the clip, I just want to read it.
It'd be great if there's a clip of her just going up to animals and making the noise
day make and going, okay, all right.
Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit.
I got a tough one for you here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, with the help of a cat impression.
She's the new Miss Universe.
21 year old Harnaz Sundu and actress from India broke down in tears beating out 79 other
hopefuls from around the world vying for the title in Israel.
The actual moment.
Was that total shock for you?
I was shocked.
I was... Pause it for a? I was shocked, I was shocked.
Pause it for a second.
How are they not?
Still, like, of all the things that they want to change
in the world,
I just feel like it's just the idea.
Still, it's not like our best and brightest.
No, it's dimwit, fucking pretty girls.
Yeah.
Doing it kind of with all the things and feminism
and all the, everyone's still like, my add, I guess.
Well, you got to have the pageants well they removed the swim suit
portion and then everyone else unwatchable yeah so now you got now you're
immediately slashing right into your demo now I'm watching a beauty pageant for
Steve Harvey quips do you think not creeps are watching this it's all creeps I
can't believe there's no more other women I think women who want to do
pageants probably that pageant life can't be that can't be that long Midwestern teenagers
Yeah, they can be interesting they have to market it as it's all about their brain
It's never ever been about their brain
No, it's about their brain are big enough for your brain the SATs
And then someone's gonna try to white night and be like, you guys don't understand. These women are the best and brightest.
No, that's not.
Always love and give you the accomplishments.
They go, you think she's a dumbass
because she's actually a nursing assistant.
Yeah.
That's not that impressive.
Or they'll be like, she's a scientist.
And you're like, that's awesome.
I don't care anymore.
But it's also.
I don't care anymore.
Oh, so they're not scientists.
They're exactly what that girl is.
A failing actress.
It would be great to watch a hot, a hot dude contest.
Male pageants bring it on, dude. There's got to be a no male pageant. Just a bodybuilding. Yeah, but which is weepy. Which by the way, just
that's clearly so for other dudes. Mm-hmm.
There's not pageant for women. 79 hymbeos. Yeah, talk and don't talk.
Um, I would love for world peace to happen.
They don't make us answer questions.
They should.
They don't make the answer questions at all.
Yeah, they should make the fucking Mr. Olympians answer questions.
How would you solve these combos?
Bring them back to life by the way.
Your combo is something in my stomach.
How would you solve world hunger?
I would make sure that they had enough protein
so that they could really have a like a light day.
Are you the next Mr. United States
or Mr. Teen United States?
How do you solve world hunger?
All right, first of all, no legumes.
Yeah, bro, they really hold no...
I heard this on JRE.
I heard this on JRE, but you're gonna want to just do help me
Elk me and then you're gonna be jacked
Protein you want to get you want to get peeled? I'm gonna tell you what you do you eat meat lots of cardio, bro
And you got a suck in nice suck dude. They absolutely need to do a mr. Universe, but you they had I was just non-staring the old Hugh
Jackman coming in talking about like
beefing up for a Wolverine and everything and so I'm knowing.
I hate when people he's like, oh, I'm actually really skinny.
It's not easy for me to get in that kind of shape and it's, you know, it's like walking
around which is very difficult to live a guy.
I can't look like that all the time, but he does sort of always look like that.
Yeah, shut up.
You know what I mean?
He never, he, he never loves me.
When he say he goes, he goes, he goes goes someone told me it's always easier to stay in shape than it is to get in shape
So I always just sort of stay in that shape. Fuck you. Fuck you. You've never walked around afraid to take off your shirt
Is mr. Teen United States a gay competition? Well?
Yes, I mean
Yes, yeah, does a frog like water is you think it just happens
It's not for it's there's no
This guy miss coming right states with a with a with a balding hair line Christine
Can you do the first pageant of men for ladies just all the things you and your girls just dream up a list of what you want to see in a male
Pageant just put together criteria. Yeah, I yeah they're like male pageant their male pageant
dude it's time for a male pageant guys with sashes on with their states on it
you make you make them look a half to papaya yeah they much box just do it
dude eat this peach get the pit out but centrally but centrally there's not a ton
of information I've never even heard of a male
Patrick, you're home of a male
you hate gay things
yeah that's your all right coming through
as you as you refer to as
Obaminations
I'm not gonna stop rocking out for them
Obamity, I have the pizza ready
shall I order?
Oh damn she will hear pizza
yeah do skitt nuts Merry. Joe's in Times Square
Wooo!
There's a Joe's in Times Square? Yeah give a little
Christine figure that with a
Yeah, can I get a sprite? Let's get nuts pizza party Jacob.
mascot pizza party
One two three four five six. That's a two pizza thing look at the list of actual
Pagents they're all ridiculous man hunt international two pizzas. They're six of me as man hunt international
Man-hunt international might be the one we need to check in do please miss get mr. Gay world South Africa world South Africa
What mr. Gay India sounds like something that you call someone under construction site gay world South Africa world South Africa. What?
Mr. Gay India sounds like something that you call someone under construction site.
Oh, if it isn't Mr. Gay India,
Hey, let's go on.
Mr. Gay India.
Oh,
Hey, Jack, what are you eating over there?
It goes.
It's called a Samosa.
Hey,
Oh, Mr. Gay Indian guy.
Hey, customer service, which you eat over there know the man looks like tool Academy. Yeah, dude
This is great find a clip of man hunt. They lift each other up. This is gay bring it up 20th edition in the manila
Rumble
Children all right some
Ramos are throw a manila. I'm an idiot and the thriller manil also happen there and then after the thriller man I can't believe the thriller manila isn't fucking kids
Can you believe the boxing match was so good? That's the thrill of manila not getting in there and
Not yet not fucking taking boy but at your leisure. Oh dude. Is that Jeff Bezos?
He's like this is the most handsome boy
By the way, no, they're so handsome. I'm not even shocked when they with the guy whoever wins
He was like yeah, yeah called it. It about it dude long-grest runway. Oh, they are a little skibbies, dude
Man, huh?
At least this is honestly said it's a male model who worked up
Up over here, you know cuz actually this isn't a crazy guy's I'm pretty sure this is pretty legit guys
The idea of doing this is not nuts
Honestly, I think there's investors for this kind of thing if I could get maybe an angel investor
Look at this in the Philippines dude
Christine is right though. At least it is modeling or not
There for their brains. Yeah, they're not trying to trick trick you in being like we care about what these women think
This is like how much just black blue knuck a deep pizza at home
that we threw out that lofty idea I was like you know what these are working he goes back
so grab those pizza
yeah
you wonder if his wife listens and she he comes home she's like did you fucking order
pizza no no no the guy that was Jay my boss made me I didn't want to order the
pizza I had to I had to order the pizza. I had to. I had to order the pizza. Uh, Jacob,
you cool with us submitting you for manhunt international to 21st edition? Just in the
regionals. I mean, come on. We just want to submit you established in 1993. Yeah, I've
submitted, uh, I submitted to NACA eight times when I was out of there. It's as far as it
will go. Well, here, I'm fine with that. Here's what manhunt international. You can submit me for Mr. Gay India for all I care. Don't do any. Okay. Well, that's as far as it'll go well here i'm fine with that here's what manhunt international
and submit me for mr gay india for all i care don't do any of what that's on
record now you said it
so now we have to know that we are we will act as your legal counsel
uh... established in nineteen ninety three manhunt international is the world's
first and longest running international male model contest
it's a worldwide search for the best mail model from each country.
Yes, it's great. Wherever they do it, actually, it's the one trip that Will and
Liu take every year together.
They say they're going to a Pearl Jam show, but it's actually Mr. Mann.
I thought Pearl Jam's off the road.
He goes, what?
No, no, no, no.
Secret show, they're performing on a different thing.
It's called...
You got to be a...
You got to be a member of the Alive alive club and then they send you the location. It's it's it's real hard to get to
Oh, you're not a car-carrying member of the even flowers. Yeah, sorry
Sorry, you got to be on the porch
if you want to get in
You get a you get a text from Jeremy
Yeah, he lets you know where it is. He drops a pin
Here he goes. Oh, do you have a membership to the don't call me daughters?
Do you know where the next manhunt international is because if it's ever in New York City
I'd like to throw my building in the mix. Let's get tickets, dude
I'll go. I would love to go to a fucking house. I do let's go full blown like real white trash
Graduation excited for America. Yeah, Jean shorts. I'm gonna be like above my knee
Yeah, yeah, yeah work that push look at that guys body
Oh, maybe it hasn't wait there. I think it's always in the Philippines.
No, it concluded on February 22nd of 2020.
They'll be back.
March 29th is put.
That says there's a 21st edition.
All right.
We're trying to find one the most current one is.
No, no, no, no.
The 21st, oh, it says winners already.
Yeah. Well, maybe there's no oh it says winners already. Yeah.
It's made us no pictures.
That makes sense because it was 2021.
And so now we've got to have the beginning of the year.
Next year we'll be announcement.
Click announcement.
Honestly guys, we're up to the 22nd.
We'll be going to the 20th.
There it is.
Mumbai.
Oh, I have to man, on India.
Oh, so there's the locals.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
We got to catch the regionals when they do United States
I want to go to the fucking It's like best of the best miss Thailand
your house and doctor
I want to go to the fucking tournament. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Look only in Thailand miss Thailand
2000 doctor panada Wang Pudi leads the manhunt Thailand press conference long Pudi
Miss Thailand is a doctor, but of what like what donkey shows
You sure know that you don't know what she's just the top heart surgeon
She know there she is
hero
This a manhunt she leads it. She's like these are my studs
This guy he has from a manila this This one, he have fun sping.
Where should you get manhood international
business cards made up?
And just hand them out the hot dudes in New York City.
And go, hey, we're on the hunt.
Do you want to scam hot dudes?
He's scat, dude, I think we should do that.
We're scam hot dudes.
Easy.
Yeah, let's just make them show up for a false pageant,
but we will bring the heat, we'll bring everything.
Yeah.
We'll have an audience.
Yeah. We'll have people cheering.
It's actually going to turn into a real contest.
It'll be a live show.
It'll be a live bonfire, but they will have different intentions.
Absolutely.
These hot men will be showing up thinking we're a part of man hunt international, but we
won't be.
I want DJ Luda to be an eccentric.
I want him a super tight suit holding a puppy.
I could say he could be dressed like he was nice.
Yeah, you can just eat your last night
but have it gonna go on on your car
and cross the back of your shoulders.
Just a boa, just a white boa constrictor.
Just a boa, yeah.
Or a bird that stays on your shoulder.
A very colorful parrot would sell it.
Yeah, absolutely.
You're gonna glue like carolografield.
Yeah, that's what I'm thinking about.
Like he's like dark glasses, dark gloves.
Let her go up.
Super tight.
Any only pursuit.
And the only thing you'll touch on them is their tricep.
Absolutely.
Oh, little, we can get fun with you.
You got the ball.
That we can put with crazy weight.
We can put a cigarette in a holder.
For sure.
I like Lou to have a side part like bowl cut.
Yes.
Yes.
And then by the way, I have,
and we'll see if you'll ask them into your chambers and see which one of the guys agrees to
A little extra to win this thing at what point at one point ago
I want you to meet my brother and then we'll have will come in no I be asked me I say this is where you get
Pay back on your investment and Bruce and Chris is
Bruce and Chris take him and work them over in the room and then we always find out he goes You know what guys which one of these handsome dudes was willing to go get plowed out by Bruce and Chris to win a contest doesn't exist
And then we'll reveal it on stage right and then
We'll plead no contest to some misdemeanor charge sure and big deal
Listen, I've set I've scrolled enough away. I can get out of some lightly blow charges. Yeah, some trumped up shit
Whatever I've scrolled enough away. I can get out of some lightly. Little charges. Yes, some trumped up shit. Whatever.
Sure. We'll drive it fully on the show.
Yeah.
So what?
Yeah.
So what?
Can you go to Mr.
Gay, India, please, Christine?
Because we will some be submitting Jay to that.
I was hoping you weren't going to not Jay.
A Jacob, sorry.
I'll do that.
We should all do it.
I'll do Mr. Belgium personality.
Oh man.
How do we not look that up first?
It's just a competition.
What a way to call a competition for ugly dudes for ugly dude. Mr. Belgium person Yeah, they should do that for women. You know my life. I would never wear yeah, you know
I would never wear black so condor
Yeah, dude. It's all unfuckable John Claude Van Damse
It's gotta be mr. Personality is so fun. so fun. Dude, if someone else enters you into Mr. Personality,
you gotta feel like a piece of shit.
Don't worry, I submitted you.
And you go, no, you're not handsome enough
for like a beauty pet, he goes, I know.
But don't make it that I'm so unattractive
that my personality's gonna really shine.
That what that, I'm so hard to look at
that of course I have a competition
worthy personality. I don't want to be submitted to that
The others are fine Mr. Personality you rather be Mr. Gay India. Yeah, wow why okay? Why not Mr. Personality?
India guy then you can at least be good looking
If I'm mr. Belgian
Personality nobody wants to hang no tricks well you don't know
that looks like Jay and I Jay and I's run to the to the fucking to the trophy just
got a little lighter yeah I like that was about me and you do mean you should
enter Mr. Personality Belting I'll go I'm creeping that
the guys guys like would you like to watch me make some do? Yeah, would you like it?
Yeah, they're running super far for you.
And I would love it.
What a jeweeb this guy is.
There was going to be a big head.
That guy's fun.
Yeah.
I'm going to go guys.
It's like a more work than play.
Am I right?
This guy.
It's going to be going in a beauty page.
Even though it's gay, guys, I don't think it's called a national beauty pageant.
To represent India at gay pageants globally Notably to the annual Mr. Gay World
Christine, there's got to be video of Mr. Gay World finals
It's just them. It's it's how it's how loud they can go like this
That's one of the competition. Yeah
Mr. India my specialty is the side competition
When they drop a king Mr. India my specialty is the side competition Looking at the way that the food is arranged on my plate
This is handing a child back to a parent without acting like it's icky
For the next step for our take it. Oh
Our next our next competition is to look up and down, and then judge the outfit. Go!
Yeah, that's a treasure.
I try, I try, I try.
Me-D vlogs.
This guy's too involved.
There it is.
courtesy of Chad Jonas.
What's fucking, is that Aaron Rodgers?
I know what the weird sash to get, to get them in the skulls. Yeah, dude.
Also, Mr. Secret Society.
I feel like Mr. Gay World, you can do real kisses with the other contestants.
I know better looking gay guys in this guy.
No, but I've done my real kisses.
Now shove this bouquet up your ass like a vase
Oh, fuck you guys it is get mad fuck you don't squeeze me too hard my butt plug will shoot out
Stop it. Sorry guys. I'm a little wonky from the poppers. I did I
Still want to misconjene out of the backstage. You can know what I mean Most likely style down everybody. I'm about stop the poppers I didn't find out. I still want to misconjean reality backstage. You can know what I mean. Most likely style down.
Everybody, stop pausing.
All right, who do we think?
I'm always gonna go, my instinct is to go beard
because I think that's naturally handsome or however.
I'll go white top.
I'm starting to think, yeah, I'm starting to think
that a gay guy really doesn't want his balls bouncing off
a beard.
No, dude, what do you want a cat?
I assume Sandy Tone.
I assume my blow job that I would give while my mouth
would be like buttery satin.
I worry that on the outer rim, you're gonna be getting
a lot scratchy shit.
My chin hair is almost like dick hair.
I have very wirey.
So is mine.
And as I grow it out, I'm starting to realize it might be
unpleasant, but I also know that I'd give one sloppy beam.
Oh my god, so do you so much hand?
I know that it would be a lot of...
I make them feel like a king.
I would push back on the base or a dick to get everything they have out.
I would think that he would almost think he would fall into a pit of warm goo with suction in it,
the way that I would saliva all over that thing.
Oh, work.
But so I feel like...
I'd go profile on it and do this thing where I'd darn it out.
I would give a lot of puke spits, you know, we go,
after a run, tap, tap, tap.
But I feel like my beard would get nice and wet
that I wouldn't be a problem.
Would you say something?
That being said, I'm taking white dust.
Would you say something while there's a rope bridge
of spit sticking from your mouth?
I go, chin.
I go, talk those.
To his dick where you go. Talkos later.
And he goes,
fun.
Is there a talk about the livers around here?
Fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm really snarfing this down,
but I'm gonna get a fourth meal.
Hey, when I'm done cranking you over here,
you wanna grab some tacos and late night teas?
I swear to God, dude,
one of my favorite stories of all time,
and I'm definitely told it on the store.
It's taco and throat fuck Thursdays
But working at those Caminos I worked with my buddy Nick Russo who's from Staten Island and he was like he's
Staten Island. He's like what's up, bro?
We've got he's called me Paul. Let's hope that Staten Island is did he punch in his own hand on most conversations?
Yes, yeah, there's a lot of like bro. I'm telling you's my, here's my prediction for the NFC East,
and it's gonna go a little something like this.
But he is like cafe season, you know,
and I was closing cafe outside,
and he was closing inside.
So we were the two lunch closers.
So it's like 3 p.m.
There's no one there,
and we're sitting in the door between the cafe
and the restaurant, and he's just,
we're talking about blow jobs or something,
and he goes, braw. I'm telling you, I love a a blow job like when a girl gets done. She looks like she just ate a rack of ribs
I'm talking about this fucking spit all over
He goes I like a messy I like a messy bra
I'm gonna go wet wipe. Yeah, then we looked over we looked over and this is lady the only table in a section is looking at us
And he goes shit
You know I'm talking to this alone business woman.
That was just having fucking.
How you doing?
No central audits and she's like, I'm ready for my check.
Me, I'd prefer a napkin.
Yeah.
But then he just realized there was a table right there and he did that.
Who had a funny smoke with some of that?
Do you remember the first, like, I don't.
I wish I'm asking this with not having an answer myself.
But do you remember the first blowjob you got?
We were like, that.
Sometimes it's the first one.
Yeah, it was the first one.
It was that girl.
My first blowjob was fine,
but nothing that I recall being like mega memorable.
Other than it was my first one.
I remember it.
The girl was blowing me after the girl
as my virginity too was horrible at it.
Really?
That's all she did, yeah.
You do also remember the worst blowjob you've ever had.
Yes, I was like stop, stop, stop.
My little friend girl friend ended up being really good because like we did,
we're together long enough to be like, do this.
Try this now.
With women is it.
She was figuring it out too.
Christine with women, are there men that are so bad that are memorable at Conolingos?
Are there guys that just get down there and eat pussy and you're like, do you?
Even I think her answer is for sure.
Yes to this.
But I'm always interested to know how bad it can be
because we know what bad it is.
There's guys that are really bad at fingering.
Really?
Like just really bad at it.
Just like fucking.
Yeah, and also just like, yeah.
Just like, yeah.
Stuff down there that you're like,
why do you think that that feels good?
Yeah, dude, you're trying to get,
you're trying to get the nickel out of the pocket.
No, Jay makes a joke
They will they they'll go in like the wrong way
You're like over hands like they're yelling at you're fucking asshole through your pussy shouting down your puss
You fucking really yeah, and then there's banging on that fucking light skin between the puss and the asshole
You're gonna perforate the fucking membrane between her asshole pussy pussy to make it one thing don't break the airlock
Gotta go up go up in there go up for
So that's what it is men are terrible at fingering yeah, not like all I mean no, but a lot men are creative
Finger a lot of women are great at blow jobs a lot of women are terrible at blow jobs because they're just like
have limited terrible eblogy jobs. Cause they're just like,
I don't know.
I just said,
man, I just said that old joke,
but that was a real question
that like a 40 something year old lady asked me
like, do you want a little teeth
or a lot of teeth?
I was like, I can't believe
that's the only two things you think anybody said.
Yeah, that's like,
other people in your life just accepted that
and been like, I guess I'll pick like less teeth.
There are them.
That is a thing.
We're men are just like,
fuck it, man,
this is the only thing I'm gonna get.
I know, I think when I was like,
like little or a lot, like from that, her saying that she's,
oh, like none, like, yeah.
Yeah.
Why don't you think I'd want another way?
I don't know, good and crazy.
Yeah, do you want me to just,
I mean, I want you to find if it's done right.
Huh?
A little teeth can be fun if it's done right.
It's not what she meant.
Yeah, she meant like, nick and nick and it.
Yeah.
Like, excite me down this. You don't have to warn somebody about the kind of teeth you're talking about
Yeah, yeah, that's a little twist
but
For Christ's a lot of teeth are a little teeth and you go well, we're good
I'm starting to wonder if my ball bag is like my knuckles not my balls my ball bag
I feel like you can bite on my ball bag pretty hard
and it wouldn't hurt.
I think you pinched my ball bag and it feels nothing.
Really?
I am quite the opposite, dude.
I am.
Your bag, the skin on the bag.
Dude, I've also been shaving it.
When I'm not.
I've been shaving it forever.
Yeah, you got a burlap sack.
When I am not in a sexual mood, dude,
my balls, how ticklish they are it is how you talk about
You being tickled is how I am with my balls and Katie finds it to be the funniest thing
Where should be like are you balls ticklish?
I'm like if they are she's like oh you're in that mode and I'm like fuck and immediately I'm like I got a not have to protect myself
Yeah, I show her the Zach Stacey a domestic abuse video
Yeah, the first tickle in his balls. Yeah, and show her the Zax Dacia domestic abuse video. Yeah, the first tick on his balls.
Yeah, and look what happened.
They knocked down that 62 inch.
See that sunny?
See that's under the other thing.
Yeah, I was four, that was four D before I got lucky.
I was just from ball tickling.
Just ball tickling, sure.
Now what Christine likes to do for some other reason,
every time my balls are loose and sitting on the couch
was my favorite thing.
I can feel that my balls are laying on top of my basketball shorts
on the couch.
They're spayed out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like sunny side up eggs.
There's resting.
And I don't know why that's when Christine, she doesn't know where the balls are,
but that's when she decides to slide her foot under my legs.
Oh.
And almost like you're trying to get a soccer ball off the ground with just your foot.
Like she like keeps it every time I go.
And just from nothing to like feel her feet going and go, oh, oh, oh, oh, I try to like, I do kind of want to like tap them a little bit.
What?
Yeah.
That's your goal.
Yeah, I'm going on over here with you.
Tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip, tip,
Sorry, oh, by the way last night, Christina, I meant to go full tilt into your ass on the
first shot.
Yeah.
Oh, did that.
Sorry, I was just see where I was going.
Sorry.
Oh, I guess that was the wrong or right hole.
What do you think?
Can we look up Mr. Belgian personality?
Well, we have to vote for a vote.
Oh, fuck, we didn't do this.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to go with my dumb gut and say,
fucking, I'm saying, I'm saying beard as my guess.
What do you think, Jay?
Be a shallow because it's not all about looks.
This has got to, you don't know what they're basing this on.
Mr. Gayest is what I would assume.
The most fab.
Yeah.
Well, I don't think they televised
the butthole circumferences contest.
They have to do those measurements backstage.
I mean, I am going to.
It's a whole caliper thing they really can't bring out.
It's a, it's copy-righted.
What do you call it? It's trademark. Yeah, it's trademark. I am going beard's a whole caliper thing they really can't bring out. It's a, it's a copy right at what do you call it?
It's trademark.
Yeah, it's trademark.
I'm going beard though, the guy with the beard.
So I am with you on the other side.
So we got two beard, one white tux black glue.
Who do you got?
I'm gonna go with white tux.
It's a gay competition.
Yes.
The beards are cool, but in gay form,
I feel like baby faces really.
I think if I would have picked baby,
I would have went out.
I'm going with beard almost simply to just have a contrary opinion. Maybe I'll look out. Do J. Lou?
They're all winners in my book. Okay. We know you're trying to win back the gay community after you
Would get a little Bruce so what dude? You guys with blue balls real nice
Lou you know you should know you shouldn't have had to worry about you know sex with him
You should just knock their nuts around with your toes a little bit
Dude
Just fucking push on him barely gay
He stood over their basketball shorts
You were such a tease Lou
That's a tease
That's a salt
What was a salt?
You assaulted their home is what you did
By buying them drinks all night and being like we owe this he wants it
Playing grief to me
I hung out with plenty of strangers last night,
some mayor may not have been gay and nobody tried to pick me up.
They knew, they listened.
Yeah, they found out.
They know you're flat, lever.
Yeah, they know that you're the soda that fucking pops
when it's opened.
They don't want you.
Fucking dick tees, Lou.
DT Lou.
It's not worth it.
You can carry it home and you're not going to get much.
Little Bruce just standing outside.
Look back for a plate. He'll drink your booze if you have any. much. Little Bruce just standing outside. Don't be afraid.
He'll drink your booze if you have any.
That's what he wants to do.
I guess you could probably fuck.
I'll tell you what if there was booze me and Jacob
so this is weakened.
We had a whole conversation about this weekend
and we're still blown away by the story.
And I'll tell you that me and Jacob are pretty sure.
I'd say under 50% for me, but somewhere in the high 40%
that if there was booze there at the house you would have at least watch them do some gay stuff
It would have helped but
No wait for the drink guys. Hey, yeah, two princes over there
Get me this fucking drink. He's just mixing up. He's mixing it with his fucking finger watching and he goes wow
Honestly from here that looks like a heart.
Blue balls, whiskey.
Yeah, dude, this is two princes.
Fucking a dick, he's Lou.
He's like, hey guys, if you don't make any noise
and I can get another freshie,
I don't think this is that bad.
Hey, little Bruce, wants to suck your weener.
That's what I'm saying now.
Big Chris wants to suck your nipples.
And that's OK now.
Man, if you're just 2AM leaving, and they're like, thanks,
little.
Chris is got his balls in your eye socket.
It's called a Ray Bands.
People, thanks for putting your turkey neck on me, big Chris.
Let's see.
Each one of you guys put your dick on my thigh. Let's see who comes across first
Let me wear a dueling wristwatch
Put your pieces around me boom up. He's touching head to nuts. It's big Chris is the winner
Shots spot a shot little Bruce
How's that?
Christine who do you got think white tux why you do anything? Wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, wipe it, Oh, we're out. There's one out.
It's alright.
You're still swabble, can do white tucks.
Beat it, babyface.
Third place is the second loser.
It is.
Third place hurts the most.
Yeah, stuff that bouquet up your ass.
He says to every one of them.
Oh, wow.
Stuff this up your ass, my old mouth.
And then they go, excuse me. He goes, oh, sorry, that's just up your ass. He says to every one of them. Oh wow stuff this up your ass, my mom. Then they go
Excuse me. He goes, oh, sorry. That's just the salutations. Mr. Gay World. Hello learn the dance. Come on America
Is America one of them? How could it not be?
This is history in the making because both Spain and the Philippines have won the first World Cup last year.
So Spain and Philadelphia?
No, Spain and Philippines.
One of you is the first to wrap the only one who is the New York City World.
The first one is very important because for any reason that New York City World cannot
be with us on the nation, the first to wrap the respects.
I should name the New York City World Tournament. The first around is the name of Mr. Garewell.
Mr. Garewell 2019 is...
The VB! They did it! They've done it! The Philippines!
I have the gassed man in the world!
If I didn't know him, one of them was Philippines, I would have had my answer to the Philippines right away.
Yeah. Mr. Gay World, dude, there's not a gay guy in the world who does want to make sweet love to a smooth skinned Filipino. What about a sport about a spaniard coming to your house and taking your man?
There's a chance they could be all kind of swar the inheritance shit. No, but a little
Can there be a Filipino kid? No, I've seen shit too. I don't know about that because your gay world can be whoever you like it to be.
Now this guy's had to like fucking like wouldn't stick fight on beaches for his life before.
Dude, yeah, right.
There's a definitely been a hotel bar where Mr. Gayspan has let it fly on why he thinks he didn't win.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, you guys, can I tell you something else?
I sucked all the judges off.
Yes, congratulations that you don't have to watch her as whole. Yeah, because I do
It is very prickly. That's a great sense for it. I have to watch watch my ass hole
Watch my ass hole and also it calls back prickly like a cock guy. I'm gonna believe I watch my ass hole for this
For this for a loss for number number two. Fuddies.
The first loser?
The first loser.
Mr. Belgium personality is the oldest national male beauty
pageant, damn, it's a beauty pageant.
I'm still in.
Responsible for selecting the country's representatives
to Mr. International, men, universe, model,
and manhood international pageants.
Is Belgium such a pussy place like in the world that like they call it Mr.
Personite to not objectify.
Hmm.
Probably the winner.
I mean, dude, they got these boys and the winner expected to
promote Mr. to be a year-long promotion carries himself in
appearances model to become role model of his country and
personality to represent his
strong and pleasant personality. So this is not model. This is like be role model.
So I don't know. It says this sounds like everything we say about the women.
This sounds like the best representation of what we do.
Oh, they're like these girls are in school. Yes. They're going to be tomorrow's
future. Yes, future leaders.
Future leaders of America.
I think one of them runs an H&M.
Yeah, and then really they're just hot pieces of ass.
Yeah, that's it.
They're all the same exact way too.
Oh, a Jocke and a Vertessen one once.
That's pretty exciting.
Not from from Limburg?
Yeah.
This is Mr. 2012.
Oh, they don't even have a good camera work.
Oh, there you go.
Well, we'll tweet this out at the bonfire.
I do want them was a dweeb though.
Yeah.
One of them did walk up a little bit a pecker chest.
Oh, they have to jerk off dance.
Yeah, they have to do like chip and nails dance.
Yeah.
What's with the sashes and male beauty?
I don't know, dude.
Let's make our own bonfire male sashes.
Can we get...
Hell yeah.
Can we get Stolfia in Denver?
Yeah, Mr. Aurora.
Mr. Aurora.
Mr. Aurora in International.
Mr. Genroa.
Mr. Genroa in Personality.
Yeah, Mr. Aurora in Personality is very funny.
Mr. Philadelphia in Personality.
Oh. Also, this all looks like it's done. Yeah, Mr. Aurora personality is very funny Mr. Philadelphia personality
Also this all looks like it's done
Right off a busy street in a very
Dude these guys must get it, but you know what is?
It's the freeness of being a gay dude like there's no stories of me too is this because everyone's like I'd love to suck your dick for the cover of magazine. I get to cover the magazine and I get to suck some dick.
Yes! A thousand times, yes!
Hello!
Pinch me!
Yeah, um, yeah, I'm in.
But I wonder if a woman involved, like that woman's hosting it,
I wonder if they ever do the like, it probably would be a good move for you to come,
bend me over a fucking stool in the back.
Listen, I'm gonna check my blackberry. I want you to get in there and dig me out.
Yeah, I'm gonna be bending over.
I am brahm demayor from West Flanders.
Oh, how about when remember when yo nuts one?
Yo nuts was a big one.
Yo nuts.
I don't think you remember two roles
from East Flanders, second runner up at Mr.
Universe model.
Oh, don't forget Mike Vanda.
Woster.
John.
What about your Chen
Vintesson?
Two rules.
It sounds like we're just stroking out on the show.
Duh.
Yeah.
Damn, Fabio.
Ron T is the coolest name on there.
Sylvie and Renard. Well, guess what? Someone just found his fake name and it's Fabio Ron T is the coolest name on there Sylvie and Renard well guess what someone just found his fake name and it's Fabio Renante
I'm going by Fabio Ron T
Ron T it's Ron T dude learn my last name. It's Ron T
It's Ron T Sylvie and Renard I'll tell you what Fabio Ron T I'm from Brussels. They stopped it stopped in 2014
I'll tell you what I've been around to I'm from problems. They stopped. They stopped in 2014
Damn too much dick. They were they were fucking too much plus we can't get involved in this But we can probably get you mr. Gay indie if you would look Christine Sylvie and Renard might be around to come in an interview about it
Oh, we probably get Renard on the phone. You think we can get Renard. Yeah, he's on the local
Personality beauty page of circuit. Hey, I heard he's a beauty pageant coach now.
That's where they all go.
They run their own gyms like fighters.
Big smiles boys and work them winters.
Weiner, weiner, weiner, weiner, weiner, walk.
Weiner walk.
Remember the song, weiner, chicken, deiner.
Oh, you know what?
It's Wednesday.
Yeah, pretty exciting.
Pretty exciting.
Pretty exciting.
Always sunny in Philadelphia.
Because always sunny in Philadelphia because always sunny in Philadelphia
There's new shenanigans new settings new sunny
FX
It's always sunny in Philadelphia is back for its record breaking 15th season all new Wednesdays on FX X where you can stream on Hulu
It's been great seasons been I haven't watched yet. Oh, I've been enjoying. I've been catching up on yellow jackets
People giving it shit, but it's been like that funny that? Funny. Oh, sorry, I do the reason.
I'm still in, but I told you it's a lot.
It's getting a little wonky.
Yeah.
Amara, I might be already be out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's one thing that happened during an episode that I watched last night that came
and I looked at each other like, I think I'm out.
What was it?
The guy showing up at the hotel.
I mean, she's there to follow her husband.
I think that's something that's gonna be exploring it.
Yeah, they're getting that.
Those girls are all famous because they're the girls
from that plane crash.
So the guy's got ulterior motives.
What are you right?
What I'm having a problem with that couple in the show,
is that this girl is confident enough
to believe that this gorgeous young man
wants to fuck this middle-age housewife.
Probably could have been a Mr. Gainer national competition
This I would have voted for him. Yeah, for sure hot trot hot trot, but always sunny. I'm very excited
I got him all DVR him a bingem. Yeah, do they've been so funny. God damn it. Heatlin Olsen. Great
So phenomenal nobody won in the world that show ever huh? No
Effin ridiculous. That's why they did that episode. The gang tries to win an award.
So funny. Great episode.
Great, like all the analogy.
Should we uh, dig a break?
Yeah.
First break.
Let's dig our first break.
Come on back.
Come on back.
Grab a snack and come on back.
That's fun.
That's what Wendy says.
Oh yeah.
Is she doing all right?
Oh, so we should do an update on why they want to get back.
It's finals going on.
Who's massacring her show?
No one's massacring this show except us because it's the bomb fire. We massacred our own show. Yeah, dude. We're self-cutters
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