The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Nothing Is Real (feat. Ron Bennington, Andy Fiori & Shane Gillis)

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

Dan and Jay discuss crazy ex girlfriends and bad break ups. Andy Fiori & Dan's old drinking/hangover stories. Ron Bennington joins the show and talks about his old co-host Fez coming out on air. ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Comedy Central. Hi, I'm Dan Soder. I'm Big J. Oakerson. And you're listening to the Best of the Bond Fire. Stay tuned to hear some of our favorite moments from this week. You can listen to the Bond Fire Live every Monday through Thursday from 6th to 8pm on Comedy Central Radio. Serious XM95 or on demand on the Serious XM app. Also, be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire SXM.
Starting point is 00:00:24 Hey Cambers, it's Black Blue and welcome to the Bonfire's Best of the Week. On Monday's show, Jay and Dan talk about crazy X's and past relationships, and Jay tells us a story about a breakup where the girl did not take it very well. Ah! Jacob! Come on! Anyways, take a listen.
Starting point is 00:00:42 I swear to you, I haven't thought about this until this very moment. A girl I dated who was very troubled, check for sure. She was a juliard. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Flute player. Yeah. Very refined in that world. I think went to Elecution classes and wrote, you know, show courses.
Starting point is 00:01:00 Like all that kind of shit in her life. And was a drunk was a drunk whore and I think I believe in College all through college all through high school was like because the high school They would go on these trips if you were in band like sure, you know if you're like a prodigy. Yeah, a flu player I think she was fucked by probably almost any but every guy who was like some sort of a chaperone or something She told and she would tell it so matter of factly where it was again it has to be me going
Starting point is 00:01:27 I did the way to dip a Dan by growing up in a back of a bar I had to go that's not cool she's like no no he's one he's a great teacher and we were out we were just drinking when I go your teacher's not supposed to be drinking like cool she was oh but we're both like no we're not both it's insane what you're saying it It's not okay. It just dates like really trashy chicks that have these stories and then tell that they're like,
Starting point is 00:01:49 nah, that was fine. And he's like, you were molestant. Stop it. Stop doing it, do this girl. I have to stop meeting all my girlfriends and cut her forums. Yeah, really? Wow, this is my new slit.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Wasn't she the one? Didn't she sit on the floor with a knife saying saying it's not real when you broke up with her She said nothing is real and she was doing it slowly on the ground stabbing floor Winners, nothing is really more because you broke up with her She think Christine's not capable of stabbing a floor and saying nothing is real than you have not met The Saturdays he goes that's your that's how you know you go. I got him into a lather No, dude, I was like that's terrifying. Well, it's funny because someone's in that level of drama You know you're going through shit. There is like a level of it that hits where it's like
Starting point is 00:02:36 Things to be anymore. I don't know you know like this isn't that big of a deal Yeah, you're gonna be like in the grand scheme in the world You're like you're like this is a jiplier on the radar You're gonna snap back from this one so fast. I'm not even this dramatic about the Chaos I've made of my life back at home. You know what? What do you mean? This is not real? Nothing is really goes now. You'll be fine. Oh Is that her so she's still in it? So looks like nothing is real how new is is any like this thing? Was this her website? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Yeah. Yeah, do you just feel it? She's just on a horse playing the flute, and she's just fucking nuts, though, huh? Nuts, though. I mean, to be fair, Jay made it where she was in a situation where nothing was real. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:17 So her defense, nothing was real. Her defense, nothing she thought was real was real. So y'all banged, and then you ended it, and she went crazy. No, that was the story of the number two. No, that was me getting caught. Oh, yeah, that was real was real. So y'all banged and then you ended it and she went crazy. No, that was the story of that. That was me getting caught. Oh yeah, that was the fucking thing. That's the one I got caught with. That's all the story.
Starting point is 00:03:31 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, her and Carla were on the phone for like an hour when she woke up to the news. Yeah, users. Yikes. Great, this is not happening story. I'll tell you that. Great, I remember that.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Yeah, that's a weird thing where you're just like, fuck. And then, but I'm saying when I, that is a funny thing about like, and it is sort of a woman thing, I'm sure there's plenty of guys to do this too, but from my perspective, yeah, I always see that much more power to do with the woman when like, things suck, bad situation, it's a bummer, even emotional. Mm-hmm. Teary, I get, I've gotten teary over things like this It's just like that like the like the stabbing an eye into the ground is going
Starting point is 00:04:11 What does anything matter nothing is real and you almost got to bite your lip with laughter to be like all right I mean like you got to have some foresight and left to be like I The one the best like the best one that back nice you are 22 the one that the best like best one that back nice you are 22 The best one I've ever gone through was in 2015 when it broke up with my ex And she was in LA and I was here and I was like, yeah, we got to break up This is done. It was after Bono and she was like don't do this. You can't do this to me And I was like all right. I know I know, but we got We got to get through it. I walk out of the bedroom and Vecchio was like, just do it.
Starting point is 00:04:46 I go, I think we're going to try to work on it. And then two days later, she goes, I think we need to break up. And you're like, what the fuck? Love is an illusion. I knew it. And then you go, okay, okay, okay, we'll work on it. And then they go, you know what? I just don't want to be with a guy that doesn't want to be with me.
Starting point is 00:05:03 And you're like, what, what? Oh, she got tagged up that night. Oh, what do you mean? She dipped her toes in the water, tried out some new D. Oh, she probably got the deal with the Frank Thomas D. Oh, and then the big guy. And she was like, oh, yeah. She's like, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:18 That is great. She felt like a later gator. Uh, by then, oh, I was wrong. She has had a boyfriend like since shortly after that. Oh, by the way, I was wrong. She has had a boyfriend, like, since shortly after that. Oh yeah, well that's the main thing. Check out, check out the California infighting. But the crazy shit's something that's... Check out five years later, it.
Starting point is 00:05:32 She had five years later to come back for her. Hey, I was wrong about you! I was wrong about you! Let's make a baby! I love that you hate Wendy's! I know I have a girlfriend, but I'll dump her for you! What if I dump my girlfriend now for her? Do we haven't talked about it yet?
Starting point is 00:05:45 Five years later. It'd be great. I mean, I would get stabbed in my sleep. No, no. She'd have to find my girlfriend. I could. I could. Hey, campers, this is your beloved Merc Face and if you're
Starting point is 00:05:56 and on Tuesday's show, Dan J and myself talk about Dan's upcoming trip to Scotland. We're being sober, is going to prove to be a tougher task than old Danny Sowe's thinks. Then, Dan tells us some of his favorite drinking memories. Take a listen, crackle crackle motherfuckers. Come, Mr. Doritos here, sex of 95, I'm Dan Soder. That's Big J.O.K.R.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S.S Oh I am be bad It's not he did you go on a wide. Oh, it's pretty crazy unpacking the suitcase now
Starting point is 00:06:29 Uh-huh. It's just fucking like all my underwear all my socks. Yeah, it's everything He's like good gulashes my gulashes your passport. Yeah, but it's like hold it right? It's like Koshamans Pacha hold it or any of the glasses. My yeah, dude I would love to get some slicks. Ari who's gonna be here at any moment. So it's 11 56. So yeah, they're five hours ahead of us Ari texted me because I did Ed Merrill last year. It was like how comfortable are you in your sobriety? Like not drinking and I was like I'm pretty comfortable and he's like all right. It's a test Huh really? Yeah, cuz I guess Edden Bra is a Drinking town real big drinking town. Yeah, Lynn's not in your head. Yes
Starting point is 00:07:12 Of course, I'm going into the belly of the beast faith Lynn come on the lady friend was a lady friend Is this point that you're gonna whistle be fun talk about our gets here? Yeah? Is the concern like you're not gonna be able to control yourself because you're gonna be so bored and like you're gonna wanna just do something. I know, I think the temptation to drink is high there. It's a very like, you know, some people have problems when they go to like, yeah, but some people have problems
Starting point is 00:07:38 when they go to like beach resorts or like to a beach. You know what I mean? Like to me, a foggy fucking Scottish. A pub. Oh my god. Yeah, back of my jaw starting to salivate. Let's go to one right now. Why that's taking really.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Cause I like drinking, I don't know, I just like, I used to like to drink it like fucking. With old fucking strangers. Yeah, that's my style. Yeah man, that's like part of being a bar kid. I don't know what it is. There's something like, I just liked bars. I like off.
Starting point is 00:08:06 I walked into a bar with Ramon Rivas and Cleveland, when I was there. We were going to get late night food with like, we were meeting a couple of little comics. And we walked, he's like, I know this place, it's a bar, but they had this like, the wife runs the kitchen and she makes these unbelievable sandwiches and I was like, let's fucking do it.
Starting point is 00:08:20 We walked in and the guy was like, yeah, she's not here, she's coming back in a half hour to start cooking. We sat down at the bar and I was like, yeah, we got you out here. I was like, I got you out of here Because I fucking wanted to drink my the back of my job. It's that back of that jaw thing. We started it's like Huh, it just like it's a bar where it was like in I I love to find out the name of it I'll find out the name of it from remote, but it's in Cleveland and it's like a fucking bar It's like there's pool tables and just, you know, each stool,
Starting point is 00:08:46 you got a stool, it's like almost diner stools, but it's just this bar. The best. Yeah. I'm salivating right now. I know. It's so interesting. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:08:56 I guess I have such a, like, if I get there, even at that place, and it's like, yeah, we're going to drink tonight. That place you're describing to me is like, could we just get whatever we're gonna drink and then go back to like the hotel room and bullshit? Whatever, I don't get like, bullshitting in a bar.
Starting point is 00:09:13 I don't think it's fun to laugh. I love it. I love it. Love it. Yeah, I had a real fucking problem. Like, smoking butt, if you, when you could smoke inside, or there are still bars you could smoke in, it a national and it's like remember this bar they do a
Starting point is 00:09:28 show and you could still smoke inside of it I was like I remember being down here like 2012 getting fucking hammered at that place yeah you could smoke inside after hours just sitting there at the bar ripping butts fucking doing shots whoo yeah love it yep have a problem I have a problem I think that's like a Oh! Yeah. Love it. Yep. I have a problem. I think that's like a different addiction where people don't understand. If you don't have it, you don't really get it.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Like sex addicts. Sex addicts seems like it's tiresome. It just seems to me like, ugh, your whole life is about fucking, you know? You just chase it. That seems like an old quick. The way, like, if you look at an alcoholic, like, he's sitting in. That seems like an old quick, the way like if you look at an alcoholic, like he's sitting a bar and drinking it.
Starting point is 00:10:06 For like, you know. But, you know, it's not just the drinking though. What you wanna sit at a bar and wanna talk. Yeah, smoke butts, but talk, but you can smoke butts though, but you can, you wanna talk about what? Just have fun, this is shit. Like this, if your show is. If you're a regular at a bar
Starting point is 00:10:25 It's you show up people are excited. You're there. It's literally the cheers. It's like Your regular bar your now. Oh, yeah, sure Maybe you know you are He's absolutely right here 100% alcohol if you go to a bar regularly to the listen if it when you show up if people know you If it when you show up if people know you drinking Like but that's a part of it. It's the car. It's damn where you walk in and he goes that's Sheryl Yep, Stacy working right parcel on a bus. I mean, I've brought these guys to oh, Hanlon's before I walk like that's black Lou that's why Lou that's fucking do everybody's got a nickname a drinking nickname the cafe in Birken Queens when I walk by it I am always like,
Starting point is 00:11:05 pshh. Trianas around the corner from the cellar. Trianas, that's a loose place. I used to go there and drink, so SD didn't know I was drinking. When I got past the cellar, that was a place I'd go to like really drink. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:18 Yeah, I'd go and fuck it. They beer pong, that was fun. What's weird is like two years later, I'm like walking by Trianas and his guy used to drink because he was there. What's weird is I quit two years two years later I'm like walking by trionas and this guy used to drink with them. He's like what's up mother fucker? And you're like, I don't do any of it. It's fucking crazy. Oh man used to be awesome. You really feel like that But you know you feel like that because you identify with that like lifestyle for so long and then when you're out of it, you're just kinda like, oh, my life's better. And I miss some people from that life,
Starting point is 00:11:49 but it's also like, dude, I would wake up sick every morning. Just like, when I'm telling you man, the first two weeks I stopped drinking and I would wake up and wait for the hangover. I was like, oh, I had a problem. I had a real problem. Joe list always jokes around with me because Joe list quit six months before I did.
Starting point is 00:12:06 So he was the guy that I saw a quit and it actually worked, because he was my drinking buddy. Joe and I would go drinking until fucking four in the morning. For Christ's sake, he's shitting a lady's shoe. I think I had stories. Nate, Joe and I would drink a lot together. And when Joe list quit, something we'd always joke after I quit is he was like, do you remember when we would take a day off and
Starting point is 00:12:27 Then be like we're fucking we're healthy Yeah, we're doing real good, but it is it's true It's like we used to and then when I was when I stopped drinking for the first two weeks I would wake up and wait for the hangover like I wake up and be like here a car. Oh, oh shit. Okay No fucking that's crazy. Yeah. No like side splitting headache because when you drink If you have enough hangovers occasionally you can wake up and you can feel it hit where you're like you wake up and like I'm up Oh fuck It's like you just wake up and someone's like morning
Starting point is 00:13:03 Just right in your head, you're like, fuck! It is, dude, I've had like, anytime the, you know, whatever the amount of times I've had that, it's always just a drinking water thing. I'm drinking water in a half hour from being completely fine. But if you fucking do some real damage on yourself,
Starting point is 00:13:19 yeah, no, you can drink, I used to drink pdly. I used to regularly drink pdly. Wow. I had a pdly, I had used to regularly drink pdlite. Wow. I had a pdlite. I had a joke for a long time where I was like, I think I know I'm an alcoholic because I buy so much pdlite that the Dwayne read by me because I just have a sick baby.
Starting point is 00:13:33 Like I give my kid munchows and I'm just like, more, the baby needs his electrolytes. Is it a kid that die rearing so much too? Crazy, I shit mulch. I used to just shit, it looked like mulch. There's like layers of wet mulch. shit It looked like mulch. It's like layers of every day every day wet mulch for years. Yeah for fucking you know I want to say And he's the rip butt so I smoked my shit. Oh, that was really mean that was really bad
Starting point is 00:14:01 That was really bad and I apologize not my former roommates, but that's really bad. Yeah Because it's exact my buddy's ex-girlfriend who like I was living with us. Oh my god It's supposed like shit and cigarettes. It amplifies the shit smell. It's like so bad. It's like it's your boy It's your boy daddy. Hey on Wednesday showed he had Shane Gillis and Ron Bennington join as they discuss when they realized comedian Tim Dylan was actually gay. Later, Ron tells an amazing story about how his former co-host Fez
Starting point is 00:14:31 came out of the closet live on air. Every single comic I've met in New York, there's been the first time I met him and then I called Dan the next day and I'm like, it's fucking Zach Amiko a fucking dickhead. Yeah, like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I try to explain to Shane, I'm like, no, no, no, you're just being way too much of a comic right now.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Right. Because, you know, Shane's coming from Philly where he was like the king and then you come up here and people like, I don't know who you are and you're like, I fucking hate you. I will say this though, who else has come into New York and has lit it up the way Shane has. No, not a lot of people.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Not a lot of people. I mean, the fact that you chased him Dylan out of town, that's, uh... Everyone talks about that. That's fucking unbelievable, man. Tim Dylan's on the run. It'd be one big fat gated. That's me.
Starting point is 00:15:15 I'm here. By the way, New York, you guys don't know this yet. I suck dick. Yeah, so... Can you guys start hiring me? None of us really believe it about Tim, though. That's the thing. I was like, are you...
Starting point is 00:15:24 I thought it was just a genius marketing strategy. I thought so too, until the fourth of July party, I saw him taking a fucking picture of a watermelon. He was holding up a piece of fruit with a skyline. And I was standing next to him and I was like, oh yeah, forget your fucking gig. Yeah. Everyone's like, does something gay.
Starting point is 00:15:40 And I'm like, oh yeah. I took him on a string of shows where we did like Boston, New England, and then we ended up in Vermont at the Vermont Comedy Club. And we're driving through oh yeah, fuck. I took him on a string of shows where we did Boston, New England, and then we ended up in Vermont at the Vermont Comedy Club, and we're driving through Burlington, Vermont. It's a college campus, and there's a bunch of these shirtless dudes and backpacks, and Tim just goes, well, hello.
Starting point is 00:15:54 That was like the only time, there was the only time where I've seen Tim Begey, where I was like, yeah, dude, that's your shit, get in there. It's just a bunch of shirtless hunts and fucking Burlington, and he's like, got that old dirty accent. Yeah, yeah, that's a shit get in there. So there's a bunch of shirtless hunks and fucking burlington And he's like that old dirty accent Should be a construction worker talking about sniss Yes, exactly right. He is so life is the young boys
Starting point is 00:16:15 Oh So the funny thing feds tried to tell us for years that he wasn't gay. Yeah, I do your announcement. Big J, when Big J and I became friends, one of the clips he always made me listen to was Feds saying he was coming out on your show. He was like, I'm gay. And then he's just silent and wrong. This doesn't say anything.
Starting point is 00:16:38 It's one of my favorite moments. What are my favorite radio moments of all time? Because J was like, dude, you gotta listen to this. He's like, I know you know, because I listened to you guys when you were on a K-Rock, free of M. I was doing the weekend shifts. I was doing overnight. So we had access to all the fucking,
Starting point is 00:16:51 you could go back in the log and like, listen to shit, now listen to ONA and run, I got caught a couple times, we're like, you should be running the board. And I was like, what's up? But Jay, I remember being in his car in front of the comic strip. And he's like, he had satellite.
Starting point is 00:17:03 He's like, you gotta listen to this, this is the episode. We're gonna smoke a joint until it happens. And that was one of my comic strip and he's like, he had satellite, he's like, you gotta listen to this in the episode, we're gonna smoke a joint until it happens and that was one of my favorite moments where he's like, okay, I'm gay. And then he's like, nothing. But then the music. Like I was offended. Yeah, I thought it was like, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:16 It's like, yeah, but Tim Dillon is a guy where you're like, he's so aggressive and big, you're like, if you were straight, you would be a problem. Right, yeah. If you were a straight guy, you would have a fucking hell of a time now. Yeah, and that's why he probably goes around saying that he's gay.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Yeah, he goes, I'm real gay. Also, your girlfriend's tits a magnificent. Yeah. Oh, your gay, you can squeeze him. Yeah, he goes, I'm just thinking pop your girl right here. I didn't think he was gay at all until he showed that picture of himself when he was young. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Was it the dancing was? The dancing thing, and it was, I mean, I laughed for two days. Yeah. This would have been buried so far in my soul, they would never see it. In the 1950s, right now, Tim is married at his age. He was married with two boys in a girl, and that picture is like from the 20s,
Starting point is 00:18:04 where he was like like you didn't know He was a twinkle dancer That's like hitting in a fucking chest Then they didn't know what gay was that's why I'm saying that's why this is gay. He's a great dancer He could dance and perform and he just didn't chase it and then he would get hammered at nights and just keep driving past the stone wall real slow Hey, fella, you need a ride? Yeah, he just goes. You know, there's some cute boys down at the park getting weird, and then he smashes a guy's head and goes to prison for a year.
Starting point is 00:18:31 You have to do that. I got one of those in my buried deep. I got me and my friends in fourth grade at the talent show, did the Village People? Did Lyam see a choreographed. Oh, man. I'll tell you that. And then I was dressed as a fucking construction worker. And my sister.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Did you have the mustache? I have older sisters and they were like, you and all your friends are gay. And I was like, what? And they're like, the Village People were gay. And I was like, I thought this was about just having fun at the Y. I didn't get that joke in Wains World.
Starting point is 00:19:04 In Wains World, is it Wains World, Wains World, Wains World 2, where they go in and they're in the gay club as YMCA and he's like, do it, miss thing, do it. And that's when I got it and I was like, oh, fuck, and I looked like we were gay. I was like, no, I didn't.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Because there were just action figures. Yeah, I just thought that there it is. There's a Tim Gohan, but we got it. Unbelievable. Come on, holy fuck. It's either a gay man or a sex addict. Yeah, either like a hardcore sex addict Where he's like I needed all the time I got to pay for it and you're for free This was yeah, this is from the Jeffrey Epstein variety show
Starting point is 00:19:38 Put down your Cornish game head and we have some entertainment Tim and the girls are gonna sing a song Now Tim and the girls will be available for island pleasures. Hi everyone, I'm DJ Liu, and I'm Thursday's Lost Hapes. Big J explains to Shane Gillis why if you tickle him, he'll start to pee.
Starting point is 00:19:58 I made the mistake of talking the shame outside the stand, and he just over, he came over here. We were in a circle talking and I was like oh Yeah, I hate being tickled like a Christine tickles me. Yeah, good move If I get tickled if I get tickled like beyond being able to get away from it or stopping it I'll piss all over myself and every other friend I've ever told that to, just goes like just acknowledge that's funny or they don't believe me or whatever.
Starting point is 00:20:29 Shane's the first person who made the face when he goes, you're telling me right now, if I tickle you a lot, you're gonna pay, I go, oh come on, dude. And then all night you just kept me on guard for him. Did you get it? I did not sit comfortably the rest of the night because I was close up behind him and making, and I would, I started giggling like a I start giggling like a little fat teddy bear I'd go you you you
Starting point is 00:20:49 who's coming oh man oh man and you have the body strength to stay in it well that was it he was like before I pee I'm gonna swing like I'm gonna fight as hard as I can that's why it's why I'll hang in there I'll take your hand for you take that eight seconds. What's it? Christy ride that bowl fucking him appears like a Mexican boxing. Yeah Christine Christine could have tested this also. I will hold her down and tickle her Well beyond what she enjoys her thinks is funny. She's She's hating it but laughing uncontrolled because she's being tickled. And I will do that far past her threshold. If she gets the drop on me for a second
Starting point is 00:21:30 and gets in my armpit or something, I get very serious. Very serious. So when I get hit. I get very serious. I go seriously, not me, not me only you, not me. Not me and I hold it down and I get up and leave the room so she doesn't try anymore
Starting point is 00:21:45 I don't want to pee on her. I didn't want to bring this up on air Is that figured you wanted to keep that a secret? You can't even get a tack tickled on the road. I don't know. I don't have to fight now. I don't think the death star did a fucking radio show But where are their weaknesses where? You'd be surprised just a little little People know this Where the witnesses were you'd be surprised yeah little People know this You'd if Shane and I got you right now It would be chaos
Starting point is 00:22:14 K. B. Fucking K. We tear this ho we tear this room up the three of us guys you want to go out like that? If you beat your pants, it would be worth it. It would be worth it. I think this would sink in. In these light jeans, dude, you're gonna see them all get dark right down the middle. Dude, it would, it would, it would be worth me to repeat it when the second show today. The live show today. When? You'd be sending it down. I would, I mean, I'd be...
Starting point is 00:22:38 When was the last time it happened, dude? I don't know. I like the move. I didn't think it was going to move. I don't know. Why is he getting the fuck up. Oh, cuz he knows. Oh, yeah, she would have already done three times. I forgot I forgot you just reminded a predator Side you shouldn't have brought this up at all especially after all that shit. I was very funny For NBA 2K tonight. Him looming around. You can't tickle me during the game.
Starting point is 00:23:07 That's not fair. What are you talking about? There's no shit playing man on the ball of defense. There's no genuid convention. Yeah. Tickle you and sign the head convention. Yeah. What a tickle you do.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Everything was going great so shit. There are tickle me during the game. So what you can do is you can hold the line with these and this come through. Yeah. Get you. Now he gets you. Well, yeah, when is the last time you pissed your pants from being tickled? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:23:32 That's an adult. It's been a long time. It's been a pretty long time. But I used to, when I was younger, I used to, I started doing stand-up comedy and luckily, I didn't even notice that it happened. I built a callus to it from when I was like a kid through even like probably like a like a late teenager. If I if I found something that funny and laughed that hard,
Starting point is 00:23:52 I would have to stop if I was missing a little. I think a sore I piss a little. I think it's so great. My was always breathing. I couldn't breathe if I laughed too hard. I'd be like, I can't breathe. Really? I always breathe fine.
Starting point is 00:24:03 Put my dick at a hard time breathing. Dude, that's great. Dicks like, I'm a spitt. I'm always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast.
Starting point is 00:24:12 I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast.
Starting point is 00:24:20 I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. I always breathe fast. Wow, yeah, that's crazy, but that hasn't happened in years and years and years and the tickling one is the only thing I know it would like I'm sad isn't that I'm just like laughing at something if I wasn't even really funny now I just never a fear I have of that happening at all, but When Christine if she tries to tickle me at all like I feel like it's so serious so quick. I just I feel I just don't know if that
Starting point is 00:24:41 If me not I don't know if me not being is still in there So here's my question to you for the rest of the show now that Shane's all wired up do you want to sit where I'm sitting because you got good defense against them and I'll move to where you were. It's gonna dive over a table it's going me. Get over here. Now I'll switch. I'll switch. I'll switch. You switch here. We do have 50 18 more minutes or so. You're the long time to time being the tickles on Here you switch figure you don't have to switch
Starting point is 00:25:13 Get him over here. I'm not torpedoing my fucking neck show dude. Thanks, dude What you don't know is that I'll get in there with you. I'll fucking that's two blocks I'm fucking calm dude. I don't want to tell Jay but if someone tickles me I fucking shoot dude. Oh fucking bad to blow. Oh hey man. Oh wait watch out mister. What's your mister? I'm but shoot it all. Hey where are you doing? Oh my god. My hands are cocking. Hope you enjoyed this week's Best of the Bond Fire. You can listen to the show live every Monday through Thursday from 6th APM East on Comedy Central Radio, Series XM 95, or on demand on the Series XM app.
Starting point is 00:25:52 Be sure to follow us on all social media at the Bond Fire at SXM.

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