The Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson and Robert Kelly - Power Trio (feat. Sal Vulcano)

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Comic Sal Vulcano returns with stories of drunk people in his stand-up audience. A video of Jerry Seinfeld dealing with a protester prompts the guys to do their best impressions of him. Bob and Sal ...both had experiences where they were disappointed by Seinfeld. Jay just got home from the Fully Loaded Tour with Bert Kreischer and has to talk about the art of comedy with musicians. FOLLOW THE CREW ON SOCIAL MEDIA: @thebonfiresxm @louisjohnson @christinemevans @bigjayoakerson @robertkellylive @louwitzkee @jjbwolf

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Starting point is 00:00:00 And now the bonfire with big Jay Okerson and Robert Kelly Yo Back did you play this because in the room right now? We have a power trio a prog comedy power trio Yeah, it's exactly why we're very prog comedy You can lower it little thing on the side Oh Send it that looks sexy. That was like six legs. I had to answer tribute questions on one of those rides once where you go up and it drops you down. Preston and Steve,
Starting point is 00:00:32 they're a radio show in Philadelphia. I love those guys. They've got free falls that you could put you on. We don't even have cameras that function in studio. By the way found out. We do have a Filipino with cameras. We do have a half Japanese half Filipino. It's a Filipino a Filipino That's next to you. Oh spicy. Yeah, he's very spicy. Well. He's half spicy Paco half spicy half Rickshaw driver Yeah Paco's in here killing it with the cameras killing it clips are great clips are great fast on fire It's faction talk serious XM 103. I'm'm Big Jay Okerson. That is the great Robert Kelly, our guest for the whole show today. Friend of the show, friend in life, all around sweetheart and hilarious man. His new special, his debut special, if you can believe that terrified streaming right now on YouTube on 800 pound gorilla
Starting point is 00:01:26 800 LB gorilla at youtube.com slash at 800 pound what 800 PGM it's a lot it's a mouthful I'm gonna say it again it's on 800 pound gorilla at youtube.com slash at 800 PGM it is the hilarious Sal volcano joining us I've missed you all so much I know it was so biz it's a pleasure to be back you're putting a fucking special together yeah debut special exciting I'm sure yeah it's easy to find this is called terrified that's it just to Sal volcano terrified you'll you'll find the gorilla on your own It's those 800 pound girl guys. Those are good guys. I had a great they were really great partners. Yeah, they're awesome They were partners with my network. Yeah, sweet guys. Yeah, they're really a great team Nashville Yeah, yeah, they did something so nice today
Starting point is 00:02:18 It came out they went out on the lawn of the of their building and they've had like these big letters on the lawn and they Were just like something like, terrified, whatever it was, I forget, but it was like, we're retouching. With human beings? The human beings went out and then they had these big letters that they had cut out, like a big sign on the lawn that they made and they all stood in front of it like a class photo.
Starting point is 00:02:36 That's wild. Yeah, it was really nice, I was very touched by it. That's pretty awesome. 800 pound gorilla is a cool group of guys. Yeah, they do the audio and distribution. Is that a big gorilla, 800 pounds? Is it an average gorilla? What is, why is it?
Starting point is 00:02:49 That's a very, very big gorilla, I'd say. I think it's a gorilla. A gorilla's like a ton, right? Really? No, I don't know. I just said it. I don't know either, we were all guessing, but you say it with such conviction, it makes me happy.
Starting point is 00:03:00 A gorilla's over six, I know a baby gorilla. Well yeah you when you were heavy you always gauged yourself against what child animals. Well no it wasn't that it was on skanks you guys actually did a whole thing what what's heavier than what's Bobby heavier than. Yeah it was a lot of things. Your basic dorm room furniture. Yeah it was a pool table uh... as a double-door stainless steel samsung refrigerator ice and water with uh... it makes the makes the artisan ice also yeah uh... how much finally three to five hundred
Starting point is 00:03:38 and uh... the regular mountain gorillas about four hundred the females way two hundred also takes eight hundred pound girls huge uh... any her pound rules huge mountain gorillas about 400 and the females weigh 200 pigs 800 pound gorilla is huge huh an 800 pound gorilla is huge. 800 pound gorilla would be a huge gorilla so I was actually right you were right nailed it nailed it I am so happy to be here so I'm so happy you're here too on this day because I need energy holy shit, he's good off Torgasm to and he was out doing his little Fishing trips. It's not what tour supposed to be You're supposed to sleep and stay in a dark room all day watching true crime on my TV that nobody wants to watch with me Is it that much still is it bad? Is it like you know bad is the wrong word? It's so fun
Starting point is 00:04:22 I know it's fun. So well thought well thought out. I just mean like, are you like, find yourself against your own wishes, like having to be like partying all the time or up all night, like just like... Yes. I've done a couple of nights with it, but I still go, I'm sorry, I have to go to bed. I can't do anything. You do feel like the Jag when you do that though. And this weekend was particular.
Starting point is 00:04:43 It's too much pressure. I hear this weekend was a particular, I had a couple outs. I have soda with me. And for the first three shows I had David Tell. David Tell's an easy out. You could always just roll with a tell cause he does what he wants to do.
Starting point is 00:04:55 No activities during the day. Doesn't even pretend to take part. He goes to the hotel the second day. He stays up all night Dave. He has the same regiment as Dracula. He does they he stays up all night day is the same regiment as Dracula He does he stays up all night. Then there's that situation as you feel bad then Going the bed knowing that when that's why I started I learned by day two. I'm going to bed I'm gonna start making the move to go to bed because
Starting point is 00:05:20 Other people start going and you're out there with Dave You know, we all want him to be happy and we all love him and respect them so much It's just you'd feel like no, dude I definitely want to stay up till 6 in the morning with you and then you'll go to a hotel and then in Four hours. I'm gonna find out that Burt's, you know, we have to go deep water fishing And he sets up the day trips and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, there's always a thing to do They even got last day. I'm so susceptible man. It's so easy. I go uh, I Go, hey when I woke up the last day, I was like, it's the last day
Starting point is 00:05:54 I just gotta get I gotta get all my stuff out of the bus put in the hotel So I was like they go Jay you going to the surf lessons and I went I I go, Jay, you going to the surf lessons and stuff? And I went, no. And they went, OK. And then Burke goes, no, you're not going to go? And I was like, nah, I'm not on this one, buddy. I did them all this week.
Starting point is 00:06:13 I go, give me, I need one to just go recollect. And he goes, how about you come for like an hour? And the runner will take you back if you want to go. And I was like, everyone's standing around around you and I'm still brushing my teeth And I have wipes in my front pocket because I'm gonna go take a show. I just took a shit also and you're like Okay You went I did everything Now you didn't have to surf
Starting point is 00:06:42 me and Dan just Me and Dan just rode... just rode waves, like, with our bodies. I don't like that these guys got bangboozled into a TV show. Oh, yeah. This is a TV show. So is it all content-driven?
Starting point is 00:06:58 Or is it just like, let's go have fun because we're on the road and otherwise we're going to be sleeping in our hotel rooms? No. This is one million percent content driven. I hope it comes out. I hope it comes out in HBO just like Torgasm. And it's just like a 10 episode arc. Me and Dan, I'm surprised if he wasn't really.
Starting point is 00:07:15 They make Jay the fucking, the sleepy one, the sleepy dwarf. True. I mean, they are, they- It's basically, it is, it's basically like, he releases it on his channels, but it is a stream. It is a show. It's fully produced Yeah, fully produced me and Dan could walk away would be walking away to like
Starting point is 00:07:32 Talk shit or not even just whatever and you just like Even the conversation I'm like when I go get on the electric bikes or we'll go smoke a joint Bah bah and then you just look up and there's like a little microphone. Look like Jesus they follow the boom. Yes,. Are they following you with a boom? Yes. If they're following you with a boom, it's not just on the camera. It's not a...
Starting point is 00:07:49 A lot of times it's just camera, but sometimes there's a boom. And there's a... And they're all great. His whole crew is fucking great, man. They're all so good. Like, everyone does their job, like, phenomenal. The way that thing runs is, you know,
Starting point is 00:08:02 I did it with like bands and shit before and seen like a major production for that for like the biggest bands Some of the biggest bands and it's this production is nuts, but it's more than it like you get hired to do a comedy show What do you mean? Well, you're really doing a TV show with comedy in it, right? They're not filming the comedy, right? They film everything I think so they film the whole thing But you're also doing shit during the day, so you're filming a TV show kind of.
Starting point is 00:08:28 Your content house. Content house. It's content house, for sure. I am, I'm so past, like I can't, I wouldn't be able to, I'd have to go, he had to rename it partially loaded. I know. I can't even, like, I am so now on the road
Starting point is 00:08:42 just like wanted to get to bed, like just do nothing, do the show and nothing else. I've been to every state a million times, I don't wanna see like the this or that. To think that like they'd be like, all right, let's go, we're going to do, we're taking, we're candle making. I'm like, I can't do it.
Starting point is 00:08:59 This weekend it was. You're not into surfing? I took a surf lesson once. We did a four. Once. Once, yeah. We did four. Once. Once. Yeah. We did a... Jay's fake smile.
Starting point is 00:09:10 I mean, everybody else is really having... And Jay's just fake... Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. By the way... That's here. I want to be doing tummy time in my hotel room smile. It's so full of shit. Yeah, they got one shot at that photo. Jay gave
Starting point is 00:09:26 him one shot at getting a photo. No I did a couple those up on the bow and I tell you what felt like I was gonna fall twice. I don't, this is being raised by mom and grandma for too many years and my step-pop not being an outdoorsman is that it's that's all icky to me. I don't want to touch it. And when the guy would just go, we were all sitting in the front there. And at one point, the guy, when he brought in one of the fish, he just throws it down by our feet and it starts flopping around on our field. And I jump up because I don't like that.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Then he made me hold one. Then they throw it back in. Now, I will say all of these things. I mean this, I would tell who gives a shit. I would tell you if I didn't have fun or whatever. They were all fun and fun things to do. It's just you're doing a thing and you sort of even you can now me personally This is very much my thing I can't let go of the idea that I need time to go I have to in these hotel rooms keep in mind
Starting point is 00:10:17 unpack entirely You know, I mean open that entire back to take all my toiletry everything out and get a shower now You're also collecting dirty clothes. I'm a person. It's like I don't just put everything back in the bag I have a dirty clothes bag now that I'm packing back in the suitcase and everything's just like So it's unpack take five seconds to yourself Take a shit take a shower and then the thing is you go but when you go back It's it's a thing, you gotta bring all the luggage back, put the suitcase under the bus,
Starting point is 00:10:48 put your bag back on the bus, you know that bag's gonna have to come apart because that's where you put the sleeping shorts, so it's just a lot of that, you know what I mean? You gotta put stuff here and there, and everything, the... I like going to a hotel, one time, unpack, everything's everywhere. The last night, right after the show, I go back to the room one time, unpack, everything's everywhere.
Starting point is 00:11:05 The last night, right after the show, I go back to the room, I pack everything. So the morning I wake up, my pants, my socks, my underwear, toothbrush, hat, ready to go, put it on, brush my teeth, out the fucking door, take a key just in case, one scan, in the car, on the plane, home, done. My suitcase is... Hallelujah. And then I tell my wife to empty that, fix that.
Starting point is 00:11:28 My suitcase is standing up and now I've started, I don't know why I didn't think this before, toothbrush and toothpaste travel within my carry bag, my backpack, so I can close my suitcase up completely the night before. All I gotta do is brush my teeth, dry off the toothbrush, put my carry-on bag, and I'm out the door. I've known how to ref-
Starting point is 00:11:48 So doing this though, four times, over five days the entire thing, that when it got to stuff where I agreed, I'm like, let's go to the beach for like an hour, I went, okay, I'll go for an hour. And then like the second wave of, these are such minor trivial things. Are you afraid if you say no,
Starting point is 00:12:05 he's gonna like be mad at you? If you go, dude, I ain't doing fucking surfing, go fuck yourself. No. But it's understood that like this, like he's, it's a vacation. He knows David Tell's not gonna do it. It's totally fun.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Dave doesn't have shorts. But I'm not in this at all. He can catch you up surfing in jeans. If it makes sense, if it makes sense. In a fucking, in a Barracuda jacket, and then five hats on, whatever he's wearing now. Dave on the surfboard with his black car heart. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:12:30 With his hat. Yeah. Jay with his little fingerless mittens and a wallet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dave's holding like a big coolada. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Yeah. I didn't do that pool day they were just showing there. I did not do the pool. How does Bert do it though? How does he I don't understand well, I'll tell you what I just big-time napper. Yeah, he's a big napper So like also that's what I'm saying. That's what's interesting too. And also the way he he lives He's just by the way, he's made for that. This is not a bad thing I've been on a bunch of tours now and the people who are the most Like love it and get into it are the people that go like,
Starting point is 00:13:07 yeah, no, I might not shower today. And if I do, I'll grab one backstage at the place and I don't care if someone knocks and I'll take a shit somewhere here at the venue. And do you know what I mean? When people can live like that, they kill it. Oh shit, oh, I stink, man. I gotta take a shower finally.
Starting point is 00:13:22 I can't live like that. You can't live like that? No, besides Bert, yeah. Besides Bert, the other people on the tour that are our age or older are all gung ho or do you secretly share looks like... We want some dirt, any dirt, what have, anybody? I understand.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Get into a fight yet? It's an experience, it costs money, like it's a nice thing he's doing. It's great, it's amazing. It is money. Like, it's a nice thing he's doing. It's a great... You know, it is amazing to do these extra things, make these memories, have these laughs. It is. But, like, when it's like... But I like when it comes organically.
Starting point is 00:13:52 Like, it'd be tough for me. Like, a lot of times I'm like, I need to have downtime, quiet before the show tonight. I can't just go from that to the... It's not as black and white as, like, right or wrong, who's right or wrong in that situation. Burt's kinda right, and I do believe,
Starting point is 00:14:08 like again, it is expected, because he lives his whole life in content. He even says that that's like a, he's worried about that in his life, that it's so much like anything that happens in his life that he's not even filming. He's like, please God, someone be filming this. Which is like a scary place to be,
Starting point is 00:14:21 where he says he's like, he's worried about being too performative. But I do and call me a sucker if you want I believe in that in the boyish innocence of Burt To the degree that like in his mind though, and he is and he means it and he's right when we all go Everyone has a blast. He's creating memories with Frank. He's like, you know, I get to do this with people I picked to do this and it's like man You know, I get to do this with people I picked to do this, and it's like, man, I'm gonna be on a boat
Starting point is 00:14:49 with Jay Soder, you know, Mark Normans and everything, and we're fishing, and Rionan Fish. He does. He loves it. The rest of us, we're the cynical ones. So, like... Yeah, but because we're comics. Of course. That's what we do.
Starting point is 00:15:03 We rip everything apart. We're cynical about everything. I told you outside. Me and Sal, especially, are two people who have had many, me and him, maybe me, you, and one other person, emotional conversations about comedy, the business, the quote unquote art of what we do or something. Because we know, you gotta keep it to three of us because we know it's cheese dick,
Starting point is 00:15:24 but this is our moment to have that moment we're stoned or whatever you know I mean yeah and you could have that sitting in a big circle when it's crossover to a jelly roll being there and Burt and having a musician who is great complimenting like you're so I don't know how to take that and give that conversation back you know you're just like oh you're great dude because they're always like, the poetry, which how you talk. And this isn't even to me.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Forget it, I'm not saying this to me. Just like, you know, the mastery, the way, and the builds. I think you were saying in Chad Daniels, he's like, you build, it's like a rock show. It's like you open with this thing, you set a tone, and then it builds. And you're just gonna sit there and go, thank you.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Like you just keep saying that. I don't know what to say. It's such a weird grand thing, you know what I mean? And you're like, sit there and go, thank you. Like you just keep saying, I don't know what to say. It's such a weird grand thing, you know what I mean? And you're like, if you do it, if you get wrapped into it, you can get wrapped in it, we all can. But then you're like, but my personality is the guy who goes, what are you jerk-offs babbling? It's like, shut up, who cares?
Starting point is 00:16:20 Oh, the art, the way we work them, with them we get in their heads and do heads and do things like shut up about it David's elkhorn a behind the music talk, which is fucking hilarious You guys done with the behind the music Jelly roll, I mean jelly rolls a man. He's great great guy, but when they start, when actors or musicians get into there, they love jerking each other off with the art of what they've, and I get it, because they're amazing. It's a more serious art.
Starting point is 00:16:52 The art is rooted in serious, that's why. So what are you talking about, like how J's levels of, hey, about pussy jokes, or you know what I mean, how I fucked a stool, you know, because the way you grabbed the stool, other people grab the stool, but you kind of grabbed it, and I was like, that's a woman. That's not a I didn't see wood I saw a female and when you went you started banging it. It was like I felt like a motion shut the fuck dude the way that
Starting point is 00:17:13 you do That Mexican voices It really is that's what I mean like it's that kind of... When you get scared and terrified, I was scared. I was like, is there a spider? Is there a... Like, this is... You're amazing. Look at me, Sal. Look at me.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Un-fuck it. You're amazing. Yeah, you feel weird because you don't wanna be like... It's because you can be bad. Jay, when you go, hey, where you from? I believe you. I believe you. That's all I can do. I'm like, this is nuts.
Starting point is 00:17:43 All I wanna be is someone that you believe you believe what I'm doing Yeah, you believe it now listen again. It's the thing listen. I should talk I did a prayer circle with Dane and Gary Gorman of course dude guys kick ass tonight You wrote a horse you tore your ACL playing touch football with three gay guys Back to him. I break all the rules dude. Do you give it back to him? I break all the rules, dude. Do I give it back? Are you like, dude, and I believe that you only talk to God when you need him.
Starting point is 00:18:10 In your favorite. No. If I was there, I'd be talking about that song, though. It's my favorite song. No, but he played us some of the new stuff that's coming out, and it was great. I mean, it was really very good. It was added a little more even like,
Starting point is 00:18:25 it's going like alt-Rocky a bit. Almost like Black Keys genre, where it was kind of going, it was pretty neat. No, and you can be complimentary back, it's not that, it's just that when we leave, both artists, and we can be drawn into that conversation about sure, what we do is actually like a thing that's interesting.
Starting point is 00:18:44 If you're one-on-one right right I would do it of Course or or or two friends? I guess that's me being insecure. I was so not wanted. I can't take myself seriously But wait, let me just say when the musicians yeah when we when they leave that conversation musicians are going and writing It's like you know the fire in my heart Will never die it's a blah blah blah. We'll meet again down the road But I miss and we're writing and we have to go my pants with the literary It's like it's like have you ever just eaten your own come because you're in a rush You know, I mean so it's like I get why they think it's they dwell in that much more than we do and we're supposed
Starting point is 00:19:22 to sit there when someone's going like, two guys going like, oh man, goes, when you find that pocket in your writing where you're just in that zone and you're like, I'm gonna fucking kill myself. Like, where's, I'm gonna go get salami from the green room. Yeah, but it's Dan Soda, it's Mark Norman, it's you, and it's how that seems like the crew that would not let that happen.
Starting point is 00:19:43 Oh, Norman's not talking like that, are you kidding me? Yeah, Norman's not fucking letting that go down. He didn't say, you're gay, hey, you're fat, have another jelly donut, you fat fuck. He was only there first two nights. Norman was only on the first two. So, where was he on that first day of the circle? He might not have been there, like in the circle time.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Circle, is that what you call it, circle time? Circle time have been there, like in the circle time. But he came. Is that what you call it, circle time? Circle time with Jelly Roll? Jelly Roll's tent time. He got blindsided by it. When I met him for the first time, he was introducing me as a rapper. He was?
Starting point is 00:20:15 No, I know, I know, but then all of a sudden it's like he has a pop religious country song that's the biggest song in the world. I was like, oh, I didn't realize that. Yeah. He was pretty great. Chris Porter played guitar and he did acoustic. I saw that.
Starting point is 00:20:26 He did acoustic every night. Great song. So Chris Porter is just skilled enough a guitar to know how to play his song? Well, he played his song. He played two of his songs. He played Son of a Sinner. Is that what it's called?
Starting point is 00:20:38 Son of a Sinner. Honestly, he played that. They played Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay and then he did like a rap medley with the guitar. They did like, Lose Yourself and Simon's Jackson. Is everybody killing? Like, everybody's murdering. It's like that type of crowd where...
Starting point is 00:20:51 It's great. ...just having a good time. And I would say there's not even like, soft spots in the show. Like, the show's... You know, it gets fuller as the night goes on. Some of them, like the baseball stadium-sized stuff, you watch it filling.
Starting point is 00:21:04 One, you're outside outside so it's bright, and then you see it kind of filling as in that comes on. The arena, the inside, and the amphitheaters are from opening comic. Well those Opie and Anthony shows were terrifying because the fans were such. Oh those are monsters, no these people. They were tailgating all day,
Starting point is 00:21:20 but the time they got in there they fucking hammered. And I remember walking out at one show and the guy was immediately just going, fuck you, you fucking suck. And I was like, I didn't even say anything yet, dude. You're like, did it matter? My artistry, when I, let me explain something that you don't know, we just were speaking.
Starting point is 00:21:36 Right. We were in the back of the jelly roll circle. The way I handled it is I ignored him. Because what narcissists want in his attention, and I didn't give it to him and it worked. He finally sat down and I won the crowd over. By the end, standing ovation and I passed the baton to Patrice O'Neil and he took it to another direction, which I didn't even think of taking. Wow, and that is, that's the difference.
Starting point is 00:21:59 That's the difference in the in the art. The art, everyone approaches the art a different way, but is one right or wrong? I talked about pussy eating, and so did Patrice. He did it in a totally different way. He did it as a black man. There's so many different ways to skin a pussy eating joke. And then Billy Burr was like, I'm just gonna make fun of these people. I'm gonna trash these people.
Starting point is 00:22:23 That was the opionary, that Domarero one in Philly. The jokes are like a picture of painting and you have your canvas, okay? That's the people. And you're painting them the way, and you can take different directions. This was gonna be a seascape, now maybe I put a little house in there. Who knows? I take it for a walk in many different directions and I see what the Not the sound hippie-dippy, but what the universe provides me to say right? Yeah I'm here to be a vessel for the words that are out there. Thank you on this next joke is like a happy little tree If I jelly roll sir, there are boy
Starting point is 00:23:05 Hell yeah, and who's in there there's Sam Morrell Chris Porter. Oh, yeah Is Dan you guys both taking it? Oh The tell it by the way, I'm much laid on me cuz I'll smile by the way I will I'll give the compliments, but you know, I mean, it's like I'm very especially musicians It's very easy to be like yeah, I will. I'll give the compliments, you know what I mean? It's like, I'm very, especially with musicians, it's very easy to be like, yeah, I go, thank you, man, but like, it's so much more awesome what you're doing. Like the way you're feeling when you're done a concert, it feels way cooler.
Starting point is 00:23:34 When he met fucking, what's his name, Bob, our friend Bob in Nashville, Kid Rock, God, he really doesn't know how to go artsy fartsy. Oh, I went, yeah, Kid Rock I definitely geeked out on. He goes, he said, come over here and talk to me. Basically, he's like, come here man, let's bullshit for a second. And then I go, essentially I might as well say,
Starting point is 00:23:56 by bullshit do you mean, do you want me to tell you every time I've ever seen you live and why I think you're great on stage? Because I'll do that and you don't have to talk at all. I walked away. I was like, I can't even stay. You're like, now was it always with the bar or was it wherever without the bar?
Starting point is 00:24:08 I think I even did this. I think I did a summer sanitarium tour in 1997. Picture it. You turned into a freaking. Baltimore, Maryland, Raven Stadium. It's a brand new stadium at the time. I got crotch rot from a long walk in the hot summer sun And I forgot to baby powder my inner thighs. I have what only clothes debilitating thought inner thighs and yet I sat there and
Starting point is 00:24:33 You and that midget just wowed the shit Hey, what's up, I'm BK burglar Bob Kelly aka the rooster I'm big J. Okerson. I only have one aka I'm a cowboy. Look if you love the bonfire, which you know you do you this is just half of the show That's right. It's the podcast version everybody So if you want to hear the whole thing go to serious XM comm slash bonfire to get the whole thing Yeah, you get tons of other entertainment, too It's not just us you got other shows that you can go to after you listen to our show
Starting point is 00:25:09 You go to all kinds of other shows and you know what tell a friend, but most importantly this show Yeah, this show just go to the show do something resembling anything. I Went into this cellar. I think it was last week, I was there late and I came in and Josh was holding court with all the new, Josh Adamaris. Josh Adamaris was holding court and just, you know what happens is when you're up on stage, I walked in and go, fuck all of you.
Starting point is 00:25:38 I go, you guys are all fucking losers, this table stinks and you guys suck. The fact that you're literally looking Josh in the eye while he's preaching whatever horse shit, and then they all started laughing. And then we just started trashing out, and Josh was like, God, I was just telling him, shut up.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Shut up! That is the sad state of New York City comedy right now. In this regard that I'm saying, that table that Bobby's talking to, that he walked up to and that was happening, is a table that when I started comedy, and by the way, the city's greats were there. Every night, Colin Quinn, DiPaolo, Keith, Patrice,
Starting point is 00:26:16 Bobby, Norton. You. No, no, this is, yeah, I'm talking about when I'm a kid, yeah. I'm saying when we're going in there and we're sitting at a different table. This is me and Kevin Hart and key and Kurt sitting in a different table because we're not there yet, but we know that you know, we were brought in by key, so they all know us and
Starting point is 00:26:34 Not one of them ever gave us one piece of comedy on stage advice Or tell us what the thing is and how you should approach it In fact, if you had a good joke, they would shit on it They would make they would tell you that that they wouldn't tell you was shitty they were just and if you did it too much and you get shit for them like everything was like a Beat down that built a character. There was a bunch of guys going up there You gotta go up there and just it's like uncorking your mind Well, what I'm saying is is that the comedy store is on its way back now. I mean, Rogan did take a lot of, shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:27:09 Yeah, we didn't even watch, I remember one night, somebody was like, hey, there's a new thing, you wanna watch it? I said, oh yeah, come down. Fuck it, go fuck yourself. We didn't watch each other's, just go, you're funny, fuckface, just go do your comedy, come back up here, and we're gonna trash the world and be what we were.
Starting point is 00:27:30 But I think now it's like... Well, you became friends with funny people. You didn't become friends with the next guy because he's the next guy or something. Do you know what I mean? It's like an organic kind of thing. Everybody that was doing comedy was funny outside of comedy. That's why they started comedy. Right, that's what I mean.
Starting point is 00:27:45 I have plenty of, some of the most hilarious people to me aren't like the top people working in comedy. I mean, people who are like, I should even say that. I'm saying there's people who I find as funny offstage as them. Onstage, I guess, isn't there, whatever yet. But like, so yeah, it's such a weird thing to like, who's the best comic of this group? Who gives a shit?
Starting point is 00:28:04 Yeah, like, what the fuck is up with your fingernails? These, these? You gotta fucking stop, Jake. Well this is- That's Mother of Pearl. Well they got, no it's Friday. That's Mother of Pearl. Friday they all did mani-pedis. I always thought that was, I'm sorry,
Starting point is 00:28:18 that was part of the, that was part of the orgasm too. No, no, no, this was all last week, but you had these all last week here with you. Mother of Pearl? Yeah, well they're just growing last week here with you. The Mother of Pearl? Yeah, well, they're just growing out now. You did not have Mother of Pearl. They're just white. They're just white, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:30 I mean, dude, I saw your fingers coming up while you were walking up to Sirius. Nice. I mean, they look beautiful in a weird way. I mean, they're shiny Mother of Pearl fingernails. I'm Mother of Pearl, I think, is slept on. Yeah, but the key word is mother. They should be on a mom.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Not my friend Jay. But there's something about the pearl, the mother of pearl. It's iridescent. It has little flashes of other color. It's exciting. It's got little flecks. It's like jizz.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Very much like jizz. Flecks of a color in it. It's crazy. But yeah, I do believe I was... You have fucking trans fingertips, dude. I do believe I was able to talk the production now into net one of next week's activities Being manny's can you did you really? Yeah, did you really? Yeah, that's fun. You're gonna get me any petties Well, then I don't have to do it when I come home. I go full gay on this tour
Starting point is 00:29:20 That I'm going to I could sit and get a manny or a pet. Yeah,'re not gonna get color on your fingers oh I'll go with the waves go you don't control the ocean Bobby I'm gonna pick you get mother of pearl I paid I got it I want to see it you don't think I could live my life a quarter mile at a time you know two people Sal volcano and Dominic Toretto. They're the only people that live their lives. You know what was really weird this weekend? You were having a great time. I had a rough time, started out a little rough,
Starting point is 00:29:55 tried to sneak me into a condo. Sneak you? Yeah, they, hotel, hotel showed up, condo. And then I was like, this isn't a condo. I'm like, well, there's people that actually live here, so that would make it a condo apartment, hashtag. You know, hotel is, everybody leaves, you know, at one point.
Starting point is 00:30:16 You're not a moron. I checked myself out immediately. I was like, I'm sorry, you know, I, no, whatever. What are you talking, this is a permanent hotel. Yeah, that's why there's a guy with three dogs next door. Or pet friendly. Not pet friendly, so anyways. If you need housekeeping, just call down
Starting point is 00:30:34 and hire a housekeeper. It was, I can't stay where I know Luis Gomez was jerking off a month ago. At best. A month ago. At best jerking off. At best jerking off a month ago. At best jerking off. At best jerking off. You can't stay in most places.
Starting point is 00:30:49 You can't fly, you can't take a bus. It wound up being a good time though. The club was great, except for the two. The last show, Front Row. He was telling me I like a good problem. I love a stage problem. It was too fucking, as soon as I got up, too kinda hot, middle-aged, have their shit together.
Starting point is 00:31:09 There you go, yep. That's my rule at the Pussycat, when I do my hour on Tuesday, I have a rule. Me or uglier, front rail. Got it. You can't put somebody hotter than me, they have to be me or uglier. Which is a low bar.
Starting point is 00:31:25 I understand that. Disagree. I've talked to you about this. Thank you. Hard disagree. Thank you guys, I appreciate that. Thank you for that compliment, it means a lot to me. Who I am as an artist right now,
Starting point is 00:31:34 that's gonna actually affect my next hour. Most hot guys aren't funny, Bobby. Thank you, Bobby, I appreciate that. Yeah, you're actually an exception to the rule. And also because your comedy comes from like, Christine's sarcastic smile. It fucking bothers me. No, I just like that you're genuinely touched by it.
Starting point is 00:31:51 I was actually still doing the artist character, but it's okay. Bobby, your comedy doesn't come from here. Yeah. It comes from here. Yeah. Like right, his rib cage. Yeah, where I'm still kind of fat?
Starting point is 00:32:04 Yes. Yes Just comes from your couple of problem areas the company comes to my donut My comedy pins deliver from my muffin top my saggy ass doesn't come from your Billy Zane face I literally I literally said that on stage ago I lost weight of 50 pounds and to do what you still fat and I was like, oh I was like, ow. I was like, that hurt. It's all relative, you piece of shit. You should wear, your merch should be pictures of old you. So there was, you're living compliments then, kind of.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Just have all the different stuff. Just the same guy. Yeah. Well, first of all, the club put an ad up. They used every fat photo of me. They went back, got every fat photo I've ever taken, collaged it... They know they're doing it right.
Starting point is 00:32:47 And then they put, uh... Then they put, uh... 50% off. Which fucking hurts worse... Holy shit. Which hurts worse than the photos. Then they made code... used code R. Kelly.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Okay. Now we're... Now we're kind of stepping over it. Now you kind of hurt my feelings. Now I'm just a pedophile. That was, you think that was measured? That was a measured act? I mean, that's three things in a row.
Starting point is 00:33:12 I think it was, no, I think people, probably trying to be funny. They go to the first thing they see, they don't know me, whatever. But these two girls in the front row, as soon as I got up, she was just facing her like, Jay's the guy, facing her, just talking up. It was, she was just facing her like, like Jay's the guy, facing her, just talking, yeah anyways,
Starting point is 00:33:28 I was going over there. And I let it go for a couple minutes, cause I don't really, you know, maybe, maybe, you know, yes Jacob. Non-comic question. So you purposely, you'll say you don't want hot girls in the front row because of the, oh okay. You'll tell the club, don't put them there?
Starting point is 00:33:43 I don't, I don't tell the club, but when I do my show with the pussycat, in my thing I say, you know, I don't want, when I do the lounge, it's a rule. No pretty chicks. No hot chicks in the front row. It's still, you're not allowed to do that, I don't think, in the world. You can't keep people out because they're attractive. And that's gonna be funny when that becomes its own thing. Us attractives are having such a hard time. None of us can sit front row
Starting point is 00:34:06 for any of these ugly-ass performers. Dude, there's something that the... I don't know what it is. They suck. They... She just... And then I was like... The one was just fucking mentally ill. Why did they hate you?
Starting point is 00:34:20 They didn't hate me. They just loved themselves. They didn't hate me at all. So they were just talking amongst themselves. I got one of them to turn to me, and she was crazy. They didn't hate me. They just loved themselves. They didn't hate me at all. I actually. So they were just talking amongst themselves all the time. I got one of them to turn to me and she was actually laughing
Starting point is 00:34:29 and the other one, you know, I talked to her and I said something to her, like towards the end, I was like, talking about finger banging. And she was like, oh gross. She was the Miranda. And I said, why you don't like finger? She goes, finger banging is disgusting, you should never do it.
Starting point is 00:34:43 Women don't like it. I go, you're saying that women don't like being finger. Look at Christine's face now, that ain't sarcastic. She's like, what's this bitch's problem? Christine lives for a little digital manipulation. And I said, okay, all the women in here, raise your hand if you don't like finger banging. And none of them did.
Starting point is 00:35:01 Room full of squirters. And she was like, I think they're lying. I'm like, all right, you're mentally ill. Because now that squirters. And she was like, I think they're lying. I'm like, all right, you're mentally ill. Because now that, you know, and at the end, she was actually in the military, you know, which I love right wing, Bobby, loves that. She was in the army for 10 years.
Starting point is 00:35:14 Confederate Bob? Confederate Bob, not Confederate. I said right wing, I'll take, listen, I'll take right wing, I'm not gonna take Confederate. What, Ku Klux Kelly? Compound Kelly? Kumiyaux Kelly? Compound Kelly? Coo me a Bob Kelly? But I literally said, at the end I go thank you.
Starting point is 00:35:30 I said thank you, good night, great shit, whatever. I made it through without having to kick him out because I didn't want to kick him out. And I said thank you for your service. She went fuck you. And I went, I just thanked you for your service. You bull dyke. She was like, oh I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:35:46 She's just fucking nuts. Ruined the fucking life. And they've seen enough and heard enough that, like they've seen, especially now, right, on social media where you got packlers being destroyed by cops. They want that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Well, they want to be part of it. I said they're changing the, if I hate to use the term, culture of audiences, where I said it's like they're changing the Was I hate to use a term culture of audiences where they're like if they're having the what the culture is changing Yeah, the culture of the audience is changing where it's like they really you can say all that shit you want. They do not Like think there's they can't be part of the show You know, I mean like real comedy fans will but like tourists are like this is what it goes down now Do you at this point what it goes down now. Do you at this point, cause it's rare,
Starting point is 00:36:27 I'd say at this point on the road, I rarely have a shitty heckler. Most of my heckling is positive, which is hilarious. Like they just wanna yell something out, like about the show or about me or whatever, or just say they love me or whatever, which is sweet. But like it still gets on the nerves of the other people in the audience.
Starting point is 00:36:44 So it's like, it's causing the same sort of issue without me really being able, someone's being shitty, at least you could acknowledge it and kind of play off that, at least I would. But when they're just positive and someone's like, shut the fuck up, and you're almost like, I know I'm supposed to tell you to shut up,
Starting point is 00:37:00 but it's hard when you just go, I love you, Big Jay. And I'm like, thank you, but stop. The front row though, the people in the back don't hear it. They just hear you. That's the pretties. It's the, you can't see them. They can't see them, so if you start, you know, you, hey, can you shut the fuck up?
Starting point is 00:37:16 They're like, just, we don't hear it. Just keep fucking going. So it's like, you gotta kinda just barrel through it. Because if you get into it with them, you're fucked. Either way, the crowd, I wish the crowd would actually take care of it. I wish other girls that are there would be like, hey, shut the fuck, I wish that would happen.
Starting point is 00:37:35 They do though. It happens, depends on the crowd. But that's what I was asking you, Sal, at this point, with just being so recognizable, is there any ever negative heckling still show for you? Yeah, it's not a lot of shitty heckling. It's the same as that. Or just someone that is so drunk
Starting point is 00:37:51 that they walk up to the stage and just wanna have a conversation, me and them at that moment. Yeah. They get to the stage? What? They get to the stage? People walk up to it
Starting point is 00:38:00 or I've had people come up on stage. Really? Yeah. They've gotten on? Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. I know. And I'm just like, what is that? Dimebagged that or I got shot in the head from that. Yeah. At West Palm Beach Improv, I had a girl, she was in the front table, she was so drunk that she just stood up, walked up a little three steps and just stood there
Starting point is 00:38:23 and was like, what? And I'm just looking at her, I'm like, what? I'm looking at the security and I'm like, what do you want me to, I mean, you have to get off the stage or whatever. And she just, she just, she wouldn't get off the stage. I'm just like, someone's gonna have to eventually take this woman off. I didn't want to touch her, she was bombed.
Starting point is 00:38:38 So she goes to get down, finally the security guards come in, they're standing below the stage, they're like, come down, and she goes to get off the stage, trips, flies, smashes into a brick wall and then like basically goes to fall down. Sorry. They catch her and then they put her in her seat, right? And they don't throw her out. Then, I mean, within five minutes later, she is head back, mouth open, snoring.
Starting point is 00:39:04 And they still did not throw her out. They still just left her there snoring. At that same night, I was in the green room and just a woman walked in with a video recorder on. She's like, hey, you gotta say hello to my, whatever. I'm like, what are you doing in here? She's like, I'm coming in, I'm coming in. They don't even like, they don't even think
Starting point is 00:39:20 there's anything wrong with it. I'm like, you can't come in here like this. Is there always a crazy person? I had a guy come in my green room, sit down, start talking to me, and I was like, he was so comfortable, I thought he was part of the club. Happened. And all of a sudden the comic came in,
Starting point is 00:39:35 he's like, hey man, what's up? He's like, ah, what's up, big fan of Bob, just thought I'd come in and say hi. It was a fucking dude for the next show. I've had that more than once. Same exact thing happened to him. Same. Crazy, man, crazy.
Starting point is 00:39:45 I was on tour with Nate and Bert and Kyle Kanane for like a weekend one time. And we were at Chicago Theater like five years ago. And then we all went up to the green room and there was someone there before all of us. And all of us get in there and we all think that that person is with the other person. No one says anything.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Bert's got his shirt off, he's ironing his shirt, and we started talking about real life things. And the guy's just sitting there. Burt ironing his shirt should have gotten a bigger reaction in general. He's ironing the one thing he doesn't have. Someone was ironing, I don't know, I think it was Burt actually, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:19 And then we started talking about real stuff, and then the guy's just eating, drinking, he's just talking to us, and then someone real stuff, you know, and then like the guy's just like eating, drinking, he's just talking to us, and then someone finally said like, oh, and I was like, and I was, you know, they were like, how do you know whoever? And then he just looked at everybody and he goes, I gotta come clean, and we're like, what? He goes, I don't, I'm a fan, I just snuck back here,
Starting point is 00:40:42 and I just was like, it was really cool to, 20 minutes he was there with us, talking about- How did you get him out? Did you get the phone call? I was a little bit more, I just snuck back here, and I just was like, it was really cool. 20 minutes he was there with us, talking about- How did you get him out? Did you get the phone call? I was a little bit more, I was like, dude, come on, man, you know? But Burt was like, whoa, you did it! Burt made it content.
Starting point is 00:40:55 That's weird, not on that fully load. There was a guy last year who got in, wore a worker's shirt for the venue, and was backstage for like an hour or so. That was wild, he'd get into a fight with the security guy. Not so much, doesn't happen a ton. I think so far maybe one person's gotten backstage, but they got him like right away.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Jerry Seinfeld this weekend, fucking had, at his show, had, do you see the video? No. Hamas? Hamas supporters. Hamasas? Hamas supporters. Hamas themselves? Hamas showed up. I mean Jerry is big.
Starting point is 00:41:27 They showed up and started chanting shit at his show. You know what, he is actually pretty funny. What is the deal with pop-tots? And who makes these borders, am I right? They seem pretty random. I don't have socks, but if I did, I would say one would disappear. This kebab is making me thirsty. Yeah, he was at, I don't know, a big theater.
Starting point is 00:41:56 To drink minimum. Well, is it really? So he's getting this now. Oh, boy. Yeah, but I'm actually... Just for being Jewish? I'm turning on... I kinda like in Jerry lately. I'm starting to like his whole thing about stand up and calm, he's really. Modeling for those boy clothes.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Remember that? Yeah, yeah. You ever see his boy clothes modeling? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, I'm just a little stinker. You gotta get the fucking hat with the letterman jacket or something. Yeah, there he is. Yeah, that was when he was trying to find himself.
Starting point is 00:42:31 What? I'm just a boy, a Jewish boy. I like duck hunting too. I read all these books. Yes, I like the Beastie Boys. They're the perfect fusion of punk and rap. That is hysterical. Hey, dog, I'm just waiting for Terrence Howard to come over and talk science.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Yeah, that was back in the day. I had two buddies. That wasn't back in the day. This was like two years ago. That's not back in the day. For me it is. Back in the day he was dating a 17 year old. I don't know how young you guys are,
Starting point is 00:43:04 but every fucking year that goes by is back in the day. For me it is. Back in the day he was dating a 17 year old. I don't know how young you guys are. This is old school. Every fucking year that goes by is back in the day. All right? Yeah. That is legitimate street wear. Like, that's not even a street wear. That's like Hampton street wear. That looks like, I think my Grim of the has that couch. He had to know someone, the wife's friend
Starting point is 00:43:23 over the product line asked for a favor. That's Black Paisley. Leave this picture on, that's my favorite one. Hey dogs. But he's actually talking to dogs. What's the dealio with? Kendrick, Drake, am I right? Like my mahogany fireplace?
Starting point is 00:43:42 I remember when Drake was just a coffee can. Look at the John Travolta grease sweatsuit. I mean. I mean, this is awful. But look at all the books he's reading on it. He's like, go back, go to the sweatsuit one. Danny Zuko's gonja. Does he, I can't see, cause it's far away,
Starting point is 00:43:58 but like, does he sell it? Like, does he, do you think that he feels, does he look like he feels uncomfortable on the surface? Nope. Is he selling it? Is that Kith? He's selling it completely. Oh in the surface? No. Is he selling, is that Kith? He's selling completely. Oh, Kith is huge, okay, yeah. Yeah, Kith is big.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I bought my headphones in Kith. No, he's selling completely, but he looks like a dildo. For 60 year old men. Good for him, isn't he 70? Look at the one with the jacket, look at the one with the brown. Is he 70?
Starting point is 00:44:17 Past 70. No, really? Sign me up. He looks good for 70. Can you do the brown jacket one? I can't open these. I'm just getting some digits from a fine honey. He's on a Blackberry though.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Puff, puff, give. A wise man said you gotta cough to get off. Damn Jerry Seinfeld. But in his thing though, he handled not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
Starting point is 00:44:56 I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie.
Starting point is 00:45:02 I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie Can we hear the video? One less hoe in the audience. Who cares? Distract. So he's in the middle of a bit. I love that he's still doing a bit. We have a genius, ladies and gentlemen.
Starting point is 00:45:22 He solved the middle east he solved it it's the jewish comedians that's what we have to get here are the ones doing everything you better hope i keep talking because when i stop talking the glizzy starts the still pop the cash
Starting point is 00:46:15 the the nobody nobody's side for audience audience is gonna do that. Yeah, what? Not me sir. Have your fun Hard to come back from that's kind of serious for a Oh, that's serious. He's being serious. That's like a C-word for him.
Starting point is 00:46:43 It's hard to come back from that kind of serious for a Seinfeld type act. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You go, so why don't you get the hell out of here, you jackass? People are trying to have a good time. Yeah, it's about laughs, you jack-o'-nipes. Why are there so many flavors of ice cream? I mean, how many base flavors could you possibly? It's all for no
Starting point is 00:47:09 I think they're kicking it Australia This guy actually did solve the con. Get out! Why are we parking a driveway and driving a parkway? It's so funny because he, in the middle of his thought, he was like, imagine! I'm going up, I'm going up. Come on, dude, pull up, pull the nose up. Asteroids, con asteroids and hemorrhoids. I'm on the fritz! I'm blanking up here.
Starting point is 00:47:50 I think he pulls it up though. Where's my boy attire? in the right venue, you've come to the right place for political conversation. Now where's that missing sock? Anyway, my cab driver here's name was uh... a squiggly line in the simple football. I mean, all you need apparently is a face that helmet is wearing you for protection They love them all right Seinfeld yeah, oh Worst accent oh I hate
Starting point is 00:48:43 Love Jim Jeffries kids can't stand his accent. No, you love it. Gons are wrong! Can I, what does he say at the end? Doesn't he say something at the end? Even the paper, Middle East, 100% Cat Williams don't want none of this. You notice he kept my name out his fucking mouth?
Starting point is 00:49:00 That must've been one of Rogan's guns. Yeah. 10% sol, thanks to man man at the Kudos arena stopping two comedian they stopped him and everyone in the Middle East went oh my god let's just get along we can't do that yeah yeah you could have done better with the end of that yeah that's the problem when you're stuck to not cursing He did come so he just went off of that great. It'd be the best right here
Starting point is 00:49:30 It'd be good just pulled the bill burr. Yeah, you fucking motherfucker. He put he went back to the edge You put his jacket on his hat Fucker He rips off his suit like Superman is a kid outfit underneath you guys are out there Oh Camera down you guys are out there playing ground baseball cricket. What's that bullshit? You have no good sports because there's no black people here didgeridoo didgeridoo Oh, it's just over here raining pussy. Look at that one in the middle of that thing. He looks like a dildo with the sneakers.
Starting point is 00:50:09 Do you have a, have you, do you know him at all? Do you like, have you ever? I mean, I mean, you've never even had a conversation with the guy that, like, no. No. Really? No, he walks by me like I'm a ghost. Really? He has to know you got, I mean, he has to know. I've told this in the show.
Starting point is 00:50:24 I've told this in the show before, but I'm not gonna lie. I've told this in the show before, but, really? No, he walks by me like I'm a ghost. He has to know you got, I mean, he has to know you. I've told this in the show before, but he has no idea who I am, but like, he has, which I was told this in the show before, but when I first started coming up, and I was working pretty much out of the Laugh House to Black Club in Philly, but Keith had already been bringing us up a little bit,
Starting point is 00:50:44 so we would hang at the cellar at night. And so other comics from Philly, when I was, Keith had already been bringing us up a little bit so we would hang at the cellar at night. And so other comics from Philly, when I was like, I mean you're always looking for somebody to drive with you, it's such a drive. And so this kid, Dorian Noel, it's a comic from Philly. I don't know if he does it anymore, but like at the time he was trying to do it and he was coming up and I brought him up to the Boston Comedy Club, rest in peace, Boston Comedy Club.
Starting point is 00:51:04 And you know, I remember asking there, he wasn't fully getting how New York works. So we go to the Boston Comedy Club, he goes, so what time do we go on here? I go, no, no, no, no. I mean, this is brand new coming to the city. I'm like, no, no, no, we're gonna, like, hang here for a while, and then when it kind of dies,
Starting point is 00:51:19 and this is where the younger comics are, like my people are a little more here, then we go over to The Cellar late night and whatever, and he's a huge Seinfeld fan, big black dude. Seinfeld fan, and I told him, I was like, oh, also Seinfeld's filming a documentary, the comedian documentary, was filming over at The Cellar. So you might be able to see Seinfeld.
Starting point is 00:51:39 He goes, oh, that'd be great. And we go over to The cellar after hanging out. And at one point, they stop us. I think it was Mustafa even at the time. He was like kind of, not like shitty, but just like, wait a second, because Jerry Seinfeld's about to walk through. And they let him walk through.
Starting point is 00:51:57 And this guy, Dorian, next to me, leans over Mustafa's shoulder. And it was security there. He goes, looking diesel Jerry what an insane thing to say to somebody diesel Jerry I would have guessed a billion get three words looking diesel Jerry what a whiff I looked he knew it he was like, what? He's like, it's dope.
Starting point is 00:52:26 What a weird thing to say to a guy. He's a, yeah, he's not one of those. I always wish I could, I feel like if I could, that's someone I would like to talk comedy with though. I really would like to talk comedy with. He would like you. If you wanted to, he's just, he's not gonna. He's so pompous.
Starting point is 00:52:42 He's not gonna, I've sat at the. But if he likes you, maybe he's not. Did you ever hear him talk to Stern? I sat at the table with him, and he just literally ghosts me. And if I'm there, I've sat down, but he'll just talk. He said, like I was headlining Gotham, and I was downstairs, and he came in to do a guest spot. Sure.
Starting point is 00:53:02 And it's not like they asked me, but they did. Sure. They were like, hey, Jerry, I wanted to say no, just to be funny. Like, not happening. It's in my contract, no guest spots. But I'm a fucking puss. I was like, oh, okay, cool. And in my feeble little wannabe loved brain,
Starting point is 00:53:17 he was coming down and he stopped. I left the door open so they have to walk by. And then they stopped. And, you know, Chris, who's great, he's like, hey, Bobby. And he they stopped, and you know, Chris, who's great, he's like, hey, Bobby, yeah, and he was there, and I was, hey, what's up, Jerry? And he went, hi. And they just walked right by me.
Starting point is 00:53:31 And then I just heard them talking about Porsches for like 40 minutes. But like, certain Porsches. Yeah, he doesn't seem to have a point. I was like, I have a Honda. I don't like that. It's a two door. I think he's like friends with Stern,
Starting point is 00:53:43 Howard Stern at this point. And every time I hear him interview him, it's like, it's always just like, something about his tone would get to me after a while. Yeah. Because everything's like, no, not that. This is the answer. I think it's like Howard saying he doesn't like getting old or something. He's like, no, I'm not liking it. Do you see the Louis and Chris Rock and Ricky Gervais and Seinfeld little interview
Starting point is 00:54:07 they did for HBO? That panel thing? Yeah, that was, they tried to kind of go at Louis a little bit. That's where he said the N-word, Louis? He said something. And Jerry was just like, whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:18 That was a little uncomfortable too. Yeah, he's... What's he saying? When Stern was talking to him, he said, he was asking about, he said he didn't like getting older and Jerry Jerry Seinfeld. She's like no, it's great It's fine. What do you mean? It's very like everything's very like Now your thing's stupid. This is the yeah, there's something about that like all the times uncomfortable. Yeah talking funny Nobody wants to see this
Starting point is 00:54:42 No, the thing is see this. I just want to see you do it. Now, no, the thing is so interesting. No, because when I do it, I'm sputtering through it. Yeah. And sweaty anger and energy. But you turned it into a really beautifully crafted fit. And you could see the moves.
Starting point is 00:54:54 Didn't Ricky Gervais start doing comedy not many years ago now at this point? It seems like they thought when I watched it, they were like, why is he here? They should have thought that. I think somebody said that. They should have thought that. Didn't somebody said that. They should have thought that. Didn't somebody say that, didn't it? Maybe, yeah. Yeah, I think he became a stand up.
Starting point is 00:55:08 He's not like a vet in, I mean, he's a vet in comedic acting. He's an English stand up, though. They go out and talk and have a headset and drink a beer. I really liked his last, I really liked it. And they laugh like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like Ricky, too. I think for a friend.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Good backpedal, Bobby. Jay hates him. Do you? No, I don't hate him. For the lack of experience, his specials, I mean, he goes right at stuff. I wouldn't watch it, cause I just, one, I just have a hard time staying with the British accent,
Starting point is 00:55:35 cause I'm not that interested to watch, ultimately, but I mean, he kills it when he's done them, when he was hosting- You know, I love voices. When he would host the stuff, like he always killed it. And I've seen like funny always killed it. Yeah, and It was I've seen like funny scenes of like the shows he was I never watched the office The original BBC one, but I don't know he's not my thing, but I never listened like Eddie is I don't like British comedy that much
Starting point is 00:55:57 which is a Dumb thing to say I know but like it's just not my thing So I would never check it. I would never check it out I was at Gotham one time but he's very funny doing a spotlight on comedy juice or something like that and I was up next and Chris came to me. He's like Jerry's gonna Jerry's Christian do a quick spot before you whatever and I was like, okay You know no problem and I was like cool. I get to watch Jerry, you know, I get to follow him whatever I that's cool. See what happens and he was up there for like Maybe like it was cousin Jerry from facts alive He goes it's a five minute guest pop, but we got to give her 15 minutes for it
Starting point is 00:56:39 He did like Minutes I had a spot like downtown so I was like I hope I can get on after him and he does like 30 plus minutes. I had a spot like downtown, so I was like, I hope I can get on after him. And he does like 30 something minutes. And then you could tell he's about to get off. And so I'm standing, in Gotham, there's no, you just stand right in front of everyone to get on the stage.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Yeah. Right, so I'm just standing right there. And I'm anxious because I'm like, I have to get on soon, otherwise I'm gonna, whatever. And so Jerry looks to the right, looks to right, And I'm like anxious because I'm like I have to get on soon otherwise, you know, whatever and So Jerry looks to the right to looks to right and I see someone say something to him and he goes, okay Okay, and he goes, you know he goes I'm gonna bring up this next guy
Starting point is 00:57:16 He goes and and he's looking you know, he's looking right at me He's looking and he goes a lot of people a lot of people ask me who I think is funny. And I was like, he doesn't know. He doesn't know who I am. Maybe he is just being very generous in this moment and he's just being like very kind. But I was like, I can't believe he's saying these words. And he's like, a lot of people who asked me who I think is funny. And that's the guy I want to bring up next ladies and gentlemen, Dave Chappelle Chappelle was standing behind He's like, excuse me and just like went up. Are you sir? Sorry? Yeah, he's biggest
Starting point is 00:57:55 Sal Stupid me I'm standing there like and there's people looking and I think they're looking at me and I'm like, oh my god It's happening And I'm like they they're everyone's looking at me I'm like I I was like it was like I was like there's no way this Kid was surreal and I was like, is he talking about me? Like I'm not even were you excited. I'm not even good. I Couldn't believe it It felt so real cuz he looked at me and I was, and they didn't tell me Chapelle was there, and I just, pardon me, it was like,
Starting point is 00:58:28 in the split second he was saying it, pardon me, it was like, he's being kind, he doesn't really know me, that's a nice thing to say, but wow, I always get to say that he said this, I can't believe this, he's bringing me up, and he's like, Dave Chapelle, and I was like, like you might, I just went pale white, like Dave Chapelle was like, excuse me,
Starting point is 00:58:42 and then Dave Chapelle went up for like 90 minutes. Oh God, and I just, I had to leave. Well, people always ask me who like, excuse me, and then Dave Chappelle went up for like 90 minutes. Oh God. And I just, I had to leave. Well people always ask me who I think is funny, and I say Sal Volcano. And his new special, Terrified, available right now. Hilarious. Available as we speak on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:58:56 Just look up Sal Volcano, Terrified. Sure. You can do a whole 800 MPG, PGMs. Just look it up. PGM, but it's absolutely Just look it up. PGM. But it's absolutely fucking hilarious. Produced by R.A. Shaffir.
Starting point is 00:59:09 Yes. Also very fun. He produced mine too. That's great. Check him out. Check the special out. Congratulations, buddy. We'll be right back.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Sal's hanging with us for the whole show. So we'll be right back, everybody. It's the Bonfire.

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